Blank Check with Griffin & David - Porco Rosso with Justin Charity
Episode Date: September 15, 2019Justin Charity (The Ringer) joins Griffin and David to discuss 1992's flying pig, Porco Rosso. Together they examine fascism, Space Camp, turning into a pig and more. ...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I'd rather be a podcast than a fascist.
Yeah.
Porco. Porco.
Porco Rosso.
Top five guy.
You think so?
I think a top five guy.
Right.
I just want to get out of the way with something I'm kind of embarrassed by.
I think this is my favorite one we've watched so far.
I was almost certain it would be.
Yeah, and this is why I'm kind of embarrassed.
Okay. I feel like I'm falling why I'm kind of embarrassed. Okay.
I feel like I'm falling harder for the kind of basic shit.
What do you mean the basic shit?
And basic is relative within a Miyazaki oeuvre, right?
None of it's basic.
No, but I don't understand what you mean.
And we haven't gotten a spirit away yet.
No.
Which you have seen, right?
But you don't remember?
When I was 15 and didn't connect you
were like i don't get what's going on forget it right right and i felt kind of somewhere on the
totoro rewatch which i'm a little embarrassed by don't be embarrassed totoro to me would be the
basic one that's like the most famous one of all i know but that's what i'm saying i'm not getting
into the ones that are like oh i see. You're not getting into the super
Miyazaki.
The totemic Miyazaki.
I feel like the ones I'm getting into are the ones
that are a little more western.
Like your favorites are
Cagliostro and this, which are
kind of set in Europe.
Kind of about
anti-heroes.
Right, right, right.
Porco Rosso is like so consciously
like kind of an homage
to like 40s Hollywood.
Yeah, sure.
That's what I'm,
my embarrassment is
that the stuff
where they're like,
this is so much,
like this,
you never would find this
in American animation.
Look at Miyazaki
and how spiritual he is
and how connected
to nature he is and how
willing he is to go into non-narrative places.
And I feel like those ones I'm
appreciating and not connecting with.
Or even those elements in the movie
I'm appreciating. You don't love nature.
You're not really a nature
guy. I don't. I don't think of you as someone
who's like, guys, let's go to
the Hudson Valley and hike. You know, like,
guys, let's stay by a lake for a week.
I'm not a fan of nature.
Right.
It has been a problem in almost every romantic relationship I've ever had.
Sure, because classic, you know, let's upgrade the relationship.
All nature, Griffin.
Let's go be in some nature together.
Yeah, forests, deserts, planes.
Planes?
Yeah, there's all different kinds of environments i'll go on vacation as long
as it's planes i want to be on some plane you're saying my high plains drifter yeah you're saying
okay the wild planes not airplanes yeah he means like planes like yeah yeah right right i mean look
i don't i don't want to out myself as some like nature nature hate and asshole but when you listed
those things i my body physically tensed up.
All three of those things. When you said
forest, desert, plains. He started swatting at bugs.
I did. I felt...
He started putting zinc on his nose.
I felt my shoulders rise a little higher
with each of those things.
I can appreciate it.
But anytime in nature
and it's beautiful, I'm like, this is beautiful.
So how long before we get into it?
I just feel,
I don't know.
I mean,
let's,
let's call it some other things,
right?
Let's just like address all the elephants in the room.
Okay.
I didn't realize there were so many elephants in the room.
I'm not designed for this world.
Okay.
I'm saying my body is terrible.
Okay.
And it feels like I'm someone who in like a society that
is still actually based around survival of the fittest right would survive the shortest period
of time yeah and so i think nature scares me because i'm not supposed to survive in natural
environments i only have been able to stay alive in this horrific artificial manhattan man-made
that's the thing about you yes you haven't even
strayed to the outer boroughs you're like i'm sticking with manhattan like the most urbanized
of the city's boroughs i i have strayed but it's my home base you've lived there you live in
manhattan right you've never lived outside i've never lived outside of it obviously you've gone
to other i just i don't want to make it sound like I'm... I've gone to Big Nice many times.
Retired bit.
And I travel.
You're going to call yourself on a retirement?
Yeah.
I travel.
Yeah.
But I do... You usually go to cities, I would say.
I do.
And when I go outside of cities,
I get a little stressed out.
I didn't realize we were going to get into this
because it's not something I've been thinking about.
But yeah.
No, because I was right.
I've been thinking about it.
You can talk, Justin.
Yeah, please.
Nature is awful.
Thank you!
And Porco Rosso is the best me.
Okay, good.
This is great.
I don't think it's that Western.
It's pretty Japanese.
I think even with how European it is.
But it is one of his...
A very Japanese Europe.
It's one of his movies that's explicitly not set in Japan.
Yeah, and also opens like a Bond movie.
Opens like a Bond movie.
I'm just saying, I feel like I get the ones that are half and half.
You know what I'm saying?
Cagliostro is like Europe
caper via
Eastern Miyazaki
storytelling. Sure, but also via
one of the most classic
anime franchises.
Right. I get what you're saying, but I think, yeah,
half and half is probably the right way to think about it.
And I'm a little worried going into Spirited Away
because everyone thinks that's like the best fucking movie ever made.
I'll say I had, I watched that movie for the first time
around the same time, like 15 years old.
I had the exact same reaction to it the first time I watched Spirited Away.
Sort of like, what?
This is a very bewildering movie. I didn't quite get it.
I just want to be able to
for this miniseries
come back to it and be like,
I get it. I'm converted. I love it.
Look at me and touch with it. I love
people being friends with a river.
Well, you haven't watched Bearded
Away yet. No, but I'm worried I'm going to watch
it and have the same thing where I go like,
this is very pretty. I get it. But Spirited
Away is not as nature-y.
Because it's mostly set in the bathhouse.
It doesn't just have to be the nature stuff. I also feel
like it's the sort of like
non-literal, spiritual
I get you.
You're saying that it's not
that much about nature, but it is literally
about a girl falling in love with a river.
Not falling in love. He needs to understand
that he's a river to get back in touch
with himself. She needs to understand
that she's a whole person and he needs
to understand that he's a whole river.
This is my nightmare.
Your nightmare is that you are a river?
It would be like Kafka's The Metamorphosis.
I'd be fine being a bug.
If I woke up and found myself a river?
I would be terrified.
And the worst thing is I wouldn't know how to end it.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Oh, God, that's dark.
It's dark, but it's true.
I wouldn't know how to end it.
Kegliostro, you like.
Loved.
I'm just thinking of episodes.
Been watching Lupin.
Been watching the show.
Yeah, you like Lupin.
Like the old Lupin?
Yeah.
Yeah, been watching the first series. Castle in the Sky uh old lupin you watch yeah okay yeah i've been watching
like the first series castle in the sky i feel like you were into very into but again it's like
it's an action movie like that was like an action movie that's for me it's really totoro was the one
where you were kind of like why isn't this like hitting some deeper and look i like ponyo but i
rate it below porco rosso castle Castle in the Sky, and Lupin.
And I know Ponyo's your best friend.
I know Ponyo loves ham.
I haven't seen Ponyo.
That's like the one movie.
I just have never seen it.
Ponyo's pretty cool.
Hey, I love Ponyo.
It's pretty cool.
Pretty cool movie.
It's pretty cool.
Sosuke and Ponyo loves ham.
Ponyo loves Sosuke.
Ponyo loves ham.
I don't know if you met Sosuke's mom, but she's fucking banging.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Here's another thing.
I was going to raise the table for hilarious fact.
Oh, okay.
Here's another thing. I've been wondering if I should have watched these in the dubs.
And I know that's like a sacrilegious thing to say.
I was like, I'm going to watch them all subbed
because that's like... I was actually going to tell you
to watch this dub, but... It's fucking
Michael Keaton. I figured you were just going to do it.
Michael Keaton as Porco Rosso? Are you fucking kidding me?
He's pretty good. It's kind of a quiet performance by him.
I watched the trailer and I was all in.
Yeah, it's great. If I could raise the table right now,
I would. You should watch it. What does his laugh sound like?
Because Porco laughs a lot. Porco laughs a lot.
He does a good laugh. Okay. He does a ha ha ha ha ha. The Japanese his laugh sound like? Because Porco laughs a lot. Porco laughs a lot. He does a good laugh.
Okay.
He does a ha ha ha ha ha.
Because the Japanese is like.
Porco and the Japanese rules, to be clear.
I mean, you loved it.
I loved it.
Now that you've seen the sub, especially watch the dub.
I know.
I feel like if I was a professional, I would be watching each of these two times before
we recorded the episode.
You don't need to watch the dub before you record the episode.
Because it's only going to watch the dubs before you record the episode. Because, like, it's not gonna
it's only gonna confuse the matter,
honestly. But after,
you can always go back to those dubs.
I just feel like any of the small changes that happen...
Most of the dubs are good. Yeah. And you watched
I mean, you mostly saw these as dubs before
subs, right? No, I saw
Spirited Away, no. Mostly not. Really?
Mostly not. Oh, no, you said you watched dubs first.
Yes, yes, yes. Because that was just on TV and stuff. And theatrically, you saw the dub. Right. But Spirited Away, no. Mostly not. Really? Mostly not. Oh, no, you said you watched Dubbed first. Yes, yes, yes. Because that was just on TV and stuff.
And theatrically, you saw the dub?
Right.
But Spirited Away, I saw it subtitled theatrically.
I can't remember with how.
I think I saw that one subbed as well.
Spirited Away, I remember seeing Dubbed and thinking the dub was bad.
The dub in Spirited is not amazing.
Right.
The main two girls are just not
great. It's Lilo.
Lilo? Who plays Lilo?
What's her name? Dava Chase?
Who is Lilo and is also
She's Lilo? She's white.
She's like a very white
girl. I didn't realize that.
Is it a good performance? It's a great performance.
Lilo and Sush is so fucking good.
I haven't seen that movie
in like
almost 20 years I guess
yeah
did I say in a recent episode
you said that that and
right okay
I just wanted to make sure
I included it
uh
Disney's
offered since like
the Ashman days
basically
I think they're the two best films
since Walt
I don't think
since the Ashman days
that's insane
that's not true
that's crazy I like them more than all of the musicals that. I don't think since the Ashman days. That's insane. That's not true.
That's crazy.
I like him more than all of the musicals.
That's, I don't know.
I don't agree with you, but that's okay.
I think Lilo is like a perfect thing.
Yeah, Lilo's a member of Bingram. I think Lilo is also kind of the closest that Disney has come to making something that feels
a little like Miyazaki.
It's very American in its storytelling. Treasure Planet's got some Miyazaki. It's very American in its storytelling.
Treasure Planet's got some Miyazaki.
But Lilo and Stitch is like
is very like small and
intimate and is all about the inner life.
You know? Yeah.
And a cute creature. And the way they
like involve like the
fantastical with the like
the whole relationship between Lilo and her
sister and how much of the movie is about like
the single mother trying really hard. Not a single
mother. An older sister who is forced
to become a single parent and doesn't have
time to like
be her own age.
Now that I'm watching all these Miyazaki films
feels like that is the subplot
to every Miyazaki film. Often. There's some
sort of human spine to it like that.
Totally. Yeah.
Alright, well, introduce the podcast.
It's a blank check of the Griffin and Dew. It's a podcast
about filmographies. Directors of massive success
early on in their career give a series of blank checks to make
whatever crazy passion projects they want, and
sometimes they connect more with Griffin and sometimes they don't.
Right.
I like them all. I haven't disliked a movie I've seen.
I just wanted to suddenly have
a galaxy brain.
And be like, I know kung fu.
You know, like I get it. I get the whole
thing. Yeah.
But it's fine. I love Porco Rosso. He's a top five
guy. Yeah.
We're talking about Porco Rosso.
It's a main series on the films of Hayao Miyazaki.
Yeah! What's it called?
It's called Howl's Moving Podcast. And who's our guest?
Our guest is Justin Cherdy
hello
hello everyone
the ringer
Damage Control
also co-host of Sound Only
we recently did an anime podcast
at the ringer
yeah we did an Evangelion podcast
it's called Sound Only
oh I did
yeah we did a mini series
about Neon Genesis Evangelion
me and Micah Peters
we did like the original TV show we did the movie The End of Evangelion and me and Micah Peters. We did the original TV show.
We did the movie, The End of Evangelion.
And now we have a bunch of people in Sean Fennessey's mentions
campaigning for us to do the Evangelion reboot movies.
Sure.
And also Cowboy Bebop.
Sure.
We'll see.
We'll do some negotiations.
We'll see what happens.
I highly recommend watching original Lupin.
Oh, my God.
Fucking rules is the best. He's also a top five guy with pork rolls. Have you watched any of the new Lupin. Fucking rules, it's the best.
He's also a top five guy with Porco Rosso.
Have you watched any of the new Lupin?
I haven't.
I've only watched Cagliostro,
and I've been watching the first series.
If you like Porco Rosso,
I recommend the...
It's not the most recent season of Lupin,
but it's the one before that,
which is set in Milan.
It's very Japanese-European.
Yeah, it's good.
Here's the thing, if you're digging into this, in like Milan. It's like 13 or something. It's very Japanese-European. Yeah, it's good. Good?
It's beautiful.
It's cute.
Now, here's the thing.
If you're digging into this,
I've been trying to like
exposure therapy,
break down my walls
with Japanese animation,
which I feel like
I've been very selective
in terms of what
I've been able to connect with.
Previously,
I'm trying to like
break through all my
dumb Western biases, right?
You love animation, though.
That's the thing. You do love animation.
That was the whole challenge. You just gotta start from there.
Loving animation. We talked about this, and I've been
doing it, I've been getting into stuff, but we talked about this
I think in the Castle in the Sky episode. The fact that I love
animation so much means that
I'm so imprinted
into American animation, unfortunately.
That it's like I have to sort of
and it's easier for me to do now,
but when I was younger, I was like, this is not how I
understand animation to work. Yeah, okay.
Because I was a kid who got really into, like,
structure and forms and patterns
and things like that. And it was so
off the beaten path from what I was experiencing.
Evangelion, everyone's
complaining the Netflix versions are fucked with,
right? Yeah. How bad is it?
I have complaints about people's complaints.
Because I was going to maybe take a swing at that.
That's my thing. I'm thinking about watching it.
Because I'm so lazy.
Have they not fucked with it enough that watching it on Netflix
is not sacrilegious?
I structured that sentence improperly.
My basic theory with all this stuff, right,
is if you're not watching something in
the original Japanese,
you're watching a translation of it. so watching one translation versus that it's like you're not watching the original thing these are translations it's english
like people take liberties yeah that stuff is more like licensing problems and anime just in general
has a lot of problem like even the idea of getting Evangelion on Netflix,
it took a decade and some change
because the fucking
anime industry
is a nightmare
and getting the rights
to anything
is very,
like,
a Byzantine process
and I think people
sort of,
that show getting on Netflix
and people being like,
well,
they didn't license
Fly Me to the Moon.
It just felt like,
kill me now.
Get the fuck out of here.
They also replaced
Fly Me to the
moon another classic song from the original series it's not like they replaced it with
gangnam style or something yeah although that sounds kind of good yeah yeah yeah uh yeah just
imagine trying to explain uh nevon genesis neon genesis evangelion to Frank Sinatra. Yeah. Right? What are these kids doing?
Yeah.
They're getting in What's a Robot?
I don't know.
Start there.
Well, there is that amazing,
I only found out about this
because of,
you must remember this,
Neon, that's a noble guess.
Do you know about,
I know my periodic table.
Do you know about
the Frank Sinatra space album?
Yes, I do.
It's one of the early,
what's the episode?
You must remember this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which was written
and narrated by Karina Longworth. Yes, that's right. yes i was saying i said this is the only reason i know about that
but he did this triple album which is where his cover of new york new york comes from but it's
also like him going like pluto what a place it's three discs okay it's a triple album it's called
past future present first disc frank doing his classics. Right? The standards.
Second disc, Frank covering, like, present day, like, recent songs.
So he does New York, New York.
That's him, I think, doing something for the first time.
Right.
The present.
Right.
A lot of the sort of, like.
He does, like, a Billy Joel song.
He does a Neil Diamond song.
The post-70s Sinatra covers that are famous all come from that second disc.
And then the third disc no one talks about, which is Future.
The Future.
And it's Frank singing like,
And what of Pluto, the smallest planet?
It's incredible.
It's got this bizarre Ziggy Stardust production.
Great album.
1980, I think, came out.
It's incredible.
It's old Sinatra.
So maybe he was like,
I'm digging your vibe, baby.
More robot suits.
I went to Japan once.
I'm not allowed to re-enter
because of a diplomatic agreement.
Had to be struck by Jimmy Carter.
Oh my God.
I called in a favor because i am deeply connected to the american mob these crazy little green men i love them i did a super cut of all
the impersonations that i've ever had on this podcast i was driving down 66 with jimmy hoffa
we ran into these real alien cats.
He shot him in the face and we buried him in Nebraska.
66 go to Nebraska.
I remember Angie Dickinson and I took a wild weekend trip to area 51.
Frank Sinatra had voiced Porco.
Oh, he would have.
I mean, if you like from here to eternity or whatever, you know, like that era of Frank Sinatra had voiced Porco. Oh, he would have. I mean. If you,
you mean like from here to eternity
or whatever,
you know,
like that era of Frank Sinatra.
You know,
you could pick him up,
put him in a Bible.
Curse shit,
curse shit.
But when I was looking for,
when I realized that Keaton
was the voice of Porco Rosso
and I wanted to find a trailer
for the dub
so I could hear the voice.
Yeah.
I found a YouTube clip
of when they were playing
all the Ghibli films.
I think it was right before Disney properly released all of them.
Sure.
But they were playing them all on Turner Classic Movies.
And Lasseter and Ben Mankiewicz would do the introductions together.
And Ben Mankiewicz made a really interesting point where he was like,
this is, of all the Miyazaki films we've been covering,
this is the one that probably fits most at home on TCM.
Absolutely.
Because it's the one movie that feels like it could have been made.
It's 50% like that.
Right.
And then it's 50% kind of wilder Miyazaki shit.
Right.
And there's a pig.
But he said he was like,
you could imagine the three leads in this film
being played by like Gary Cooper and Carol Lombard.
And I forget who the third person he said was.
But I think the answer is,
Sinatra would have played Porco Rosso.
He could play Porco.
Right?
Older Sinatra could play Porco.
Like, you know, 50s Sinatra.
Come back to Sinatra.
Oh, you're right.
That's the problem.
Babyface Sinatra could play the other guy.
50s Sinatra would have been too young to play old Porco,
but old Sinatra is the perfect guy to play Porco.
No, 50s Sinatra can do it.
50s Sinatra could do it.
He was pretty old in the 50s. Man with a golden arm Sinatra. Yeah, because No, 50s Sinatra can do it. 50s Sinatra could do it. He was pretty old in the 50s.
Man with a golden arm Sinatra.
Yeah,
because in the 50s,
he's in his mid to late 40s.
I always forget he was such an old man.
He was born in 1915.
Yeah.
He's old.
Yeah.
Old.
But kept young by those crazy Martians.
I said,
kids,
I love these kids.
You can stay on this planet
and I'll sing you a song.
Gotta play by my rules.
Some of your Green Mars pills.
I don't know.
End the episode.
What do you think of this?
These kids are literally out of this world.
Do you like Sinatra, Ben?
I don't.
Oh, Blue Eyes?
You don't like him?
Wow!
But you hate hippies.
What's that?
But you hate hippies.
Yeah, he's the most anti-hippie. I don't hate hippies. If you remember... Oh, right. It's Alex Ross Perry who hates hippies. What's that? But you hate hippies. Yeah, he's the most anti-hippie.
I don't hate hippies.
If you remember...
Oh, right.
It's Alex Ross Perry who hates hippies.
You actually were fine with hippies.
I like 60s music.
I think it had a huge influence.
I don't like hippie culture.
I dislike it.
If that Charlie Manson rolled up on me, I would have shot him square in the face.
I think I got two things against Sinatra.
A, because I'm from New Jersey, he's been shoved down my throat my entire life.
Oh, sure. Hoboken.
It's like Sinatra and Joe Budden, man.
But wasn't Sinatra from New Jersey
and he was born there and when he was
12, he was like, I'm out of here.
This place is a dump.
I think there's a famous mugshot of him
being arrested in Hoboken.
Yeah, yes. I tried to kill the governor.
That's like the poster that people have on their fucking college dorm room.
Oh, yeah, yes, of course.
Where he kind of looks like John Dillinger.
Yeah, right, right.
And like, okay, because we're making fun of him.
You're doing his like singing kind of like shtick, right?
It's not singing.
He's just saying stuff.
No, he's an incredible singer.
He can sing.
He can sing.
But a lot of this stuff-
What he goes for, he goes for.
He's a fantastic singer. Of course. You gotta listen to Zip Sinatra. He can sing. But a lot of this stuff When he goes for it, he goes for it. He's a fantastic singer.
Of course.
You gotta listen to
Lipsonato.
He's got golden pipes.
But yes,
later in his career,
the thing you could mock
was him just sort of like
talking through.
I went to a place
and I saw a tree.
Sounds fucking evocative.
And I saw a bird.
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
And I sat down
Wait a second.
His story's going off rails.
Ben, Ben.
You had some good songwriting.
Ben! I never knew you had such a beautiful
voice. Oh yeah, I can sing. You can sing
like an angel.
Come fly with me!
Okay, enough of me.
Where do you stand on Bruce?
As the other sort of
rules!
Bruce!
I love Bruce.
Bruce is my man.
Bruce is like blue collar
hero.
Right.
But like we were
talking about this
about how good
the Broadway slash
Netflix special
is where he's like
I never worked
in a factory.
That is a crock of shit.
It's all bullshit.
I'm a fucking
professional musician.
What are you talking about?
I'm a fancy Nancy.
I had a hit album
when I was 20. I never worked in a factory. My family was all born in a town. are you talking about? I'm a fancy Nancy over here. I had a hit album when I was 20.
Never worked in a factory. My family was all
on the edge of town. Are you kidding me? I live in a mansion.
That was not my life at all. I just found it evocative.
The only darkness is in the rooms
I don't enter in my mansion because it's so
large. Big rooms!
Well, I resisted Bruce a lot too because
it was so shoved down my throat. My dad's
music. But then later in life I discovered
it and it's just like Nebraska.
Yeah.
Born in the USA.
There's so many,
even his late 80s albums
are so fantastic.
He's just a great songwriter.
So I've come on board
to the Bruce train.
Where are you from, Justin?
Richmond.
He's from Virginia.
Richmond, Virginia.
From the outskirts
of Richmond, Virginia.
So who's like
Richmond's famous son?
Yeah, who's like, yeah.
D'Angelo.
Really?
I mean, that's,
I always associate Richmond with D'Angelo. What about that who's like, yeah. D'Angelo. Really? I mean, I always associate Richmond with D'Angelo.
What about that hip hop scene?
Yeah, D'Angelo.
I mean, that's singing.
It's more like an R&B guy.
Atmosphere?
Oh, wow.
You spent time in Richmond?
I'm trying to find like...
No, I used...
That's a good list where it's like famous people from...
Yeah.
There's not someone who's shoved down the throat
in the same way that Ben's talking about, though.
No.
There's not like a clear cut,
like this is our pride and joy, sort of.
This is the one who got out and made good.
I mean, the problem with D'Angelo
is that D'Angelo didn't really make it out.
He sort of got stuck in Richmond for a while
and was going through some rough times.
Wait, his down period was in Richmond?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If you would read about him
on local news,
it was a rough
few years with him.
Apparently,
what's his name?
The guy with the hat,
Jason Mraz,
is that how you say his name?
Jason Mraz!
Yeah, he's from Richmond.
I never knew that.
I never knew that.
Or at least,
Amy Mann, apparently?
Wait, wasn't Dave Matthews
sort of a Richmond guy?
I thought Dave Matthews
was from South Africa. Yeah, but I think he's associated with Charl thought Dave Matthews is from Charlottesville
yeah but I think
he's associated with
Charlottesville
yeah
let me see
oh Chris Brown
yeah CB is from
yeah CB is from Richmond
oh Trey Songz
okay
Trey Songz also
I'm trying to see
oh Trey Songz
is from Petersburg
oh and
and
and
and
Guar
oh
they're from Richmond Guar Petersburg. Oh, and Guar. Oh, shit.
They're from Richmond.
Guar rules.
Do you know that Guar, every 10 years, they cycle through new characters?
Right.
And they're due for a new set of characters.
I might be behind on this.
They might have already debuted them.
Me, I love Guar.
Those kids from Richmond.
Those crazy kids from Richmond.
I love them with their helmets and their oversized weapons.
I went to a GWAA show once.
I got socked in the jaw.
It was part of the experience.
Nothing I love more than a couple hepcats from art school
coming up with a conceptual theater project
that somehow charts as a legitimate band, baby.
Hepcats from art school is definitely what Richmond is now.
It was not like that when I was growing up.
You ask me who the best kids making music today are,
it's Devo and Gua for me.
Frank Sinatra.
God, Devo would hate Frank Sinatra.
But Frank Sinatra would love Devo.
I get it, kids.
You don't like disco either, right?
Right.
These kids,
they can't stop whipping it.
How is this the bit
we arrived on for Porco Rosso?
Because Frank Sinatra
is the lead voice performance
in the English dub of Porco Rosso.
Yeah, that's it.
He should have been. He should be live action Porco Rosso.
Rip.
Rip.
I'm just not surprised that you love this movie.
I am surprised you did not flip your audio channel
over to English just to at least check out Old Keeny.
I was really tempted.
I did it for a second or two, but I was like,
I'm going to watch this a second time.
I love this movie.
Let me fully engage with it.
As the master himself intended.
But God,
it's so fucking tempting to hear that like,
you know why I didn't flip over more?
Because I was afraid I'd get stuck on it.
Like all the other ones we've been watching,
I flip over a little bit just to get a lay of the land.
And I was like,
if I start hearing Keat for more than two seconds, I'm going to be sucked in.
Right, right. I was telling David
before we started recording that I went back
and re-watched this movie last night
without the subtitles, but also
without the English dub.
He just watched it in Japanese.
Sometimes I like doing that with animated stuff
where it's sort of like,
I was trying to gauge the expressiveness.
Instead of just sort of, how was trying to gauge the expressiveness and sort of just just sort of
how does this movie work
just visually
and sort of
with the energy
of the voice performances
even if I don't understand
the original voice performances
and I don't know
for such a
a weird
premise of a movie
like
pretty easy to follow
yeah
Porco Rosso is very easy
yeah
it's not that complicated
it's plot light
there's not a lot of plot
it's also crazy though like he's wearing goggles the entire movie.
Pretty much.
He takes them off one time.
And he's got a big, bushy mustache that covers a lot of his mouth.
True.
Like, Porco Rosso is facially kind of stoic.
Importantly, though, and you only see this a few times,
he has, like, a weird buzz in the back of his head.
A buzz?
Yeah, it's a buzz.
He's got a little buzzed part.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's got the floppy front hair yeah yeah he's got like a little
landing strip yeah exactly like a landing strip i don't know why this guy's so cool he's pretty
cool so i was in from this is what i thought you would like i started the movie and i was like
fuck this is my favorite one yeah the moment that he's asleep on the beach in his chair with the
hollywood magazine over his face that was like secret secret grotto. This guy's a fucking pig. You know I love pigs too.
I don't think I knew that.
I mean I didn't think you hated pigs.
You got a pig thing?
I have a big pig thing.
I didn't eat any pig products
until the last five years of my life.
Because I felt such solidarity with pigs
that I was like I'm not eating any
any pig derived meat.
Like bacon? I started eating bacon five years ago. What did it? What got you into bacon? with pigs that I was like, I'm not eating any pig-derived meat.
I started eating bacon five years ago.
What did it?
What got you into bacon?
It's so good.
So embarrassing.
What could it be? I don't know.
There's an item at Costco called the chicken bake.
The chicken bake?
They sell it at the food stand at Costco,
which, of course, is one of my favorite restaurants.
It's one of your favorite places to eat, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
It looks not dissimilar from your very popular Dunkin' Donuts bagel twist option.
It's like a bagel twist, but stuffed.
It's kind of like a chicken roll from a pizza place.
Cheese, Caesar dressing, chicken chicken and bacon
what was it like the first time you ordered this
because it's somebody who didn't eat bacon until recently
what was so seductive about this item
god because there were two options
there's a chicken bake and I forget what the other one is
but I think I
ordered the chicken bake without realizing
there was bacon in it that was the thing
and then I was like oh there's bacon in this
and then for the first time I was, what if I don't recoil?
You know?
What if I keep eating this?
And I liked it enough that then I started going like,
let me try getting bacon on the dish.
And now I get bacon on everything.
My friend Jake used to say when I was like, I'm embarrassed.
I like this chicken bake thing.
And I was like, he was like, of course you like it. You only like
eating food dicks.
Which then I realized
many of the foods I
like are just big
phallic hunks of
food. Like, I like
just like some stick of something with
shit crammed inside of it.
You like a stick. I like a stick.
You like food dicks. Right. I like, I think I like just being able You like a stick. I like a stick. You like food. Right. I think I like
just being able to
hold a stick.
Yeah.
It's very evocative.
You're just laughing
at food dicks, Ben.
Yeah.
Ben's like, yeah.
Yeah.
But I love pigs.
When I was a child,
didn't have a pet.
Most of the kids
at school had pets.
And I felt left out.
I had an imaginary pet pig named Oiki, and I would tell people I had a pig.
Yeah.
I have a cat named Pig.
I know.
That's true.
That's confusing.
Named after Miss Piggy.
I didn't know that.
I didn't know that either.
Well, it was like a culmination of that that. When I brought her home the first time,
she made a mess of my apartment.
She turned into a pigsty.
She did
all the business on herself.
Then I had to try and put her in the shower.
That wasn't good.
She just ran around and teared everything up.
This sounds funny.
This does sound funny.
I wish I could watch that.
Why don't you film that?
Yeah.
Okay.
Hey, cat ownership is tough.
Ben, you should pitch this to Queeby.
Get Sinatra on board as a producer.
Okay.
I love what Katzenberg's doing over there.
The kid's like six minute thing.
When Ben pitched me his crazy project, I said,
Katzen, Katzenberg, it sounds like a match made in Pluto.
I'm dead.
Pluto, the smallest of the planets.
Do you think if he was back today and he heard that Neil deGrasse Tyson made Pluto not a planet,
he'd be like, I'm going to punch that guy.
I hope he would make Neil deGrasse Tyson diss tracks.
You're a diss track.
Do you think Sinatra would have been convinced to go full McCartney and guest on a Kanye
track?
You know what I mean?
Collaborate.
Don't you imagine he'd be the subject of lots of clickbait?
He would just give outrageous comments.
Oh, yeah.
He'd be like Shatner on Twitter.
Yes, yes. That's exactly it. That's exactly it. He'd be like Shatner on Twitter. Yeah. Yes, yes.
That's exactly it.
That's exactly it.
Trump tells it like it is.
I don't know.
He's a New Yorker.
Say what you want about the guy, but he's got brass balls.
How old was he when he died?
Let's find out.
Sinatra, 86?
82 in 1998.
Yep.
I remember.
That's the sketch I remember most from when Giuliani hosted SNL.
Do you remember the thing?
He hosted the night that he won the election?
Yes.
And he, there's a sketch that's Giuliani as an old Italian mother, I think with Sherry Oteri.
Wait, Giuliani cross-dressing?
That sounds crazy.
In New Jersey.
And the premise is that Sinatra's kind of been
on his deathbed.
Okay.
And they're all terrified.
Everyone knew Sinatra,
we might lose him any day.
I just remember that it's a weird cultural artifact.
So Sinatra's not in it.
It's just about that.
It's Giuliani as the matriarch
with his two adult daughters.
May Sinatra not die.
Got the framed picture.
It's a Frank will never die.
I'm crossing myself.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I prefer Giuliani's
early funny work.
Yeah, you like that?
Yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.
Right.
You know,
making the Staten Island
very free.
Yeah.
Very funny.
Good bit.
Good stuff.
Very good bit.
Yeah.
So, so this is your rather. Good stuff. Very good bit. Yeah. So...
Porco Rosso.
So this is your favorite.
I'd rather be a pig than Giuliani voter.
When did you come to this movie, Justin?
It sounds like you were later in terms of getting to most of the Miyazakis.
No, I saw...
It's funny.
No?
You were saying earlier, like, I actually didn't like a few of the Miyazaki movies that
I saw when I was a kid.
Mm. didn't like a few of the Miyazaki movies that I saw when I was a kid um and I I watched Totoro
for the first time like several years ago and loved Totoro and so I just assumed that my takes
from childhood were bad right um and yeah I would say like maybe six or seven years ago like I
watched Totoro I watched Nausicaa um I i read the nalsika manga which is like much
larger and like a lot more sprawling than the movie um and i got to porco rosso maybe like
two or three years ago and i wanted to fucking kick myself i had the same i i just had this
sense of i don't know there's there's sort of this myth of Hayao Miyazaki of what he's like that not that many animators get.
You look at Miyazaki and he's just smoking cigarettes and being extremely dark and sarcastic in interviews.
And you watch Porco Rosso.
And Porco is not like that.
He doesn't have that weird, glib, sort of nihilistic edge that Miyazaki has.
But everything else about Porco,
like the fact that he's just a guy
who's working on his fucking airplane
and he's smoking cigarettes,
it's like, oh, this is who this is.
The guy who makes these movies,
this is my insight into who he is.
He's a pig.
Yeah, I feel like, yes,
I do feel like I get a greater sense
of him watching this movie.
Him as an actual person.
Sure.
Not what his worldview is.
No, yeah.
Yes, him as a person is in this,
is the most in this and Wind Riser.
Yeah.
Which are the most plane-y movies.
Right, totally.
Which is his true obsession.
Right, and that thing of just like,
I can't relate to you
if you're not well-versed in planes.
Yeah, yeah.
And it's funny because like Porco Rosso.
I really just want to talk about planes.
And this is around the time like, you know,
Porco Rosso is adapted from,
it's like they're Miyazaki manga
that are actually larger and feel more manga-y.
But Porco Rosso is like adapted from a 15-page manga
that's just, I think Miyazaki has talked about it
and been like, yeah, just fucking in the 90s,
I really loved drawing planes.
And there are three different art books and manga
where he's just drawing planes
and he's getting insanely detailed about World War I.
Like the Nausicaa manga is a big, hefty, multi-volume.
Right, right, right.
Whereas the Porco Rosso stuff is just,
here's some planes.
Okay, this is the thing I want to read, okay?
So right, he writes a manga called The Age of the Flying Boat.
But the film was originally planned as a short in-flight film for Japan Airlines based on the manga,
grew into a feature-length film.
Yeah, which is wild.
Insane.
If you look at the manga, it's like you can read it in five minutes.
It's 15 pages, you read it in five minutes, and that's the movie Porco Rosso.
Yeah, but it's also like if they were like, Delta Airlines hired Martin Scorsese to make their in-flight film,
and he got so caught up with it, it turned out to be The Aviator.
Yeah, yeah.
That is the craziest origin of a film I have ever heard.
He often wants to do a short film, and then it's like, oh, this is a feature.
It happens to him.
I just love that they're like, Miyazaki, it's really simple.
In-flight movie.
Why don't you take the character from that manga?
Just talk about planes for a second.
It's literally just buckle the seatbelts, the oxygen bags, exit rows.
And he's like, cool, cool, cool.
It has expanded into a 90-minute narrative.
About war.
Fascism.
Fascism.
Yes.
And the toll it takes on men and turns them into pigs when they try to enter heaven and are rejected.
As if they were like,
this is a short walk,
this is a bad book,
it's about planes, right?
And he was like, I cannot.
What if Porco Rosso still had a scene
where Porco Rosso gave out safety instructions?
Yeah, where Porco Rosso was like,
apply your oxygen mask first
before
before
helping others
yes
that always freaked me out
when I was a kid
hate it
yeah
don't like it
no
don't like flying
actually
I know you don't
I love it
you love it
yeah
that is crazy
don't like cars
have you ever been in a small
like single engine plane I have I feel like I have I have I got to fly one Yeah. That is crazy. Don't like cars. Have you ever been in a small, like, single-engine plane?
I have.
I feel like I have.
I have.
I got to fly one.
Someone let me fly a plane.
Who?
Yeah.
Let's just call the FAA right now.
My friends took away this person's license.
Please tell me the statute of limitations isn't up on this horrible crime.
It's my friend's irresponsible stepdad.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
This is when you were a kid? He was irresponsible stepdad. Uh-huh. Okay.
This is when you were a kid?
He was like, take the stick, kid.
Yeah.
Up is go and down is stop.
And I- Fly me to the moon, baby.
And he let me kind of just do that kind of move.
I'm like gesturing where like I kind of turn the plane on its side.
You did like a half barrel roll?
Yeah.
Fuck, Ben.
I wanted to go to space camp so bad as a kid.
You did.
You wanted to be a space man.
And my mom was like, what the fuck are you talking about?
Like, we're buying food, not space camp.
Meanwhile, you're doing barrel rolls like a fucking Star Fox.
It was great.
I hate this.
Miyazaki should make a Star Fox movie.
This movie is almost a Star Fox movie.
Yeah.
And it has a pig man flying.
Especially like the last 20 minutes of this movie.
Very, very, you know, Slippy get back here.
Slippy get back here.
Do a barrel roll. I should Very, very, you know, Slippy get back here. Slippy get back here. Do a barrel roll.
I should mention though,
having to eject.
Hey Fox, I'm on your side.
The plane crashing,
that was unfortunate.
For you?
Yeah.
Oh boy.
I don't think I told this story
on a podcast before.
Okay.
I went to space camp.
Wow.
No, you fucking went to,
I went to space camp.
I went to,
what'd you do?
I went to Florida. Ugh. Okay. I had this brochure. You went to... Which one? I went to Florida.
I had this brochure.
You went to the place where I had the brochure for...
I hate this.
But here's the story.
It's a somewhat traumatic experience for me.
One of the centerpiece attractions is...
There's the gyroscope,
which everyone watches from the side and goes like...
That's what I think of.
I'm going to be able to like that's what I think of I'm gonna be able
to handle that
whereas I'm like
oh no
I won't be attending
thank you
keep the deposit
everyone lasts
three seconds
everyone lasts
three seconds
right
then the final thing is
when you get to do
the simulation
of the cockpit
and they give you
a binder that has a script
and everyone has a role
and my role was
exercise expert which was such a fucking bummer.
Kind of a disastrous role for you.
It was like you're on the exercise bike,
and you have to keep a log of how you're fucking.
How long does the simulation take?
Like an hour.
Okay.
You're like in like a capsule.
Yeah.
And it's like, oh, you're the pilot, you're the engineer,
you're the exercise expert, and one person gets to do the spacewalk.
Uh-huh.
One person gets to go out in the arm, and that role is so much cooler than everything else.
But you're not floating, right?
You're on a robot.
That's cool.
Okay, okay, okay.
It's not like a robot arm.
It's pretty analog.
It's like jimbals.
It's analog, but someone's maneuvering you around while you're on
a rig or whatever.
From my memory, uh, exercise, uh, you know, scientist is the worst fucking position.
I hate it.
But I was already at this point, like completely traumatized because the other big thing is
here's our zero gravity, like sort of simulation.
And the way they do it is it's essentially like a rock
climbing wall okay
with like pulleys
except the wall is
just kind of like a grid
it looks like the set for like rent or
something right it's like a metal like
grid of bars and shit and
on the pulley the other
side of the pulley is on the other side of the grid
and on that side is your weight in iron weights.
Yeah, in pounds, right.
So they weigh you before you get on it.
And then you get on this thing.
And because there's an equal weight, when you jump up, it feels like you're sort of zero gravity.
And you can clamp the wall and whatever.
And that's their simulation of this is what it feels like to you know be able to whatever um i was a uh
like a dangerously underweight kid right so they just took like you know somewhat sack lunch and
put it on the other side well it was a thing where my dad was like if you get to 100 pounds
i'll buy you a tamagotchi. Sure.
Did you ever get that Tamagotchi?
I finally got it.
That was a very old statement.
Yes.
You got it, but it was in 2015.
Yeah.
I got it for my 30th birthday.
My parents finally got me a Tamagotchi.
You finally hit the hundo.
Right, but I was like 60 pounds,
and they were like, you gotta eat more.
And they're like funneling ice cream into my mouth.
Like, everyone was afraid I was gonna die. they were just like gain weight gain weight gain weight
and uh i got on the scale at space camp and i was like oh my god i'm 105 pounds hey and i was like
this is i can't wait to call my dad tell him get get a tamagotchi ready for me i'm coming home
and i'm cracking an egg that egg exactly yeah uh and of course uh
i had not miraculously gained 30 pounds just while at space camp there's ice cream their scale was
broken and so they plugged me in and they let go and i shot up to the ceiling and you're in like a
big like hangar and they couldn't get me down for two hours. No.
Should I not have gone to Space Camp?
I cannot exaggerate. Space Camp sounds so stressful.
Did you sleep over? Like you had to
stay there for a few days? Yes. And I left my
Elmo doll at home and it was a nightmare.
I didn't know you had an Elmo doll. I had an Elmo
doll. You were a big Elmo kid.
I was a big Elmo kid but the other part of it was
that I would sleep on the Elmo every night.
Like as a pillow.
Oh, okay. Like pillow
Elmo head. Justin and I just sort of
shared a look. Yeah. What about pillows
though? Do you ever hear about those? They're great. Yeah.
They don't have like eyes and a
nose. But I was so used to
that shape that when I got old enough that I was
like embarrassed about the Elmo, I'd hide it in my pillow
case. Pretty cute. Yeah. Griff, you were a weird kid. Me? I know this has never that shape that when I got old enough that I was embarrassed about the elbow, I'd hide it in my pillowcase.
Pretty cute.
Griff, you were a weird kid.
Me? I know this has never been reported on on this podcast before, but
you were a weird kid. But my main takeaway from Space Camp
is two hours where they were like, with
a megaphone, like, the only way
you're getting down is by yourself.
We don't have, there's no way for us
to get up there and to reach you, and there's so much
weight working against you.
That they were like, you have to reverse climb down the grid.
I'm not sure that I like the idea of Space Camp telling me there's no way for us to, that doesn't sound right.
I didn't like it either.
That's not the problem solving that I saw in a movie like First Man.
I feel like the whole point is problem solving.
I was like nine years old.
I was like two foot one.
The whole point is problem solving.
I was like nine years old.
I was like two foot one.
I weighed 60 pounds.
And they were like, you're going to have to use your brute strength to carry your way down to the ground again.
Right.
No Elmo.
Broken scales.
Broken scale.
Exercise expert.
Terrible.
Fucking racket.
Porco Rosso.
Rosso? Rosso? I say. Rosso. Rosso. Because it rhymes. Porco Rosso. Rosso? Rosso?
I say Porco Rosso.
Because it rhymes.
He's the red pig. The crimson pig.
He's the crimson pig.
Do you like that typewriter intro in all the languages?
Love it. It's pretty good.
That's the thing. Like right away I was like,
this is kind of funny.
You know, I was like, I'm jamming on this movie. This movie's, this movie's having a laugh.
It's playing with the form
a little bit.
He's World War I fighter ace.
He is.
He's a freelance bounty hunter.
Yeah.
He's Griffin's best friend.
He's one of my best friends.
He chills out in a cove.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
He loves old Hollywood.
Sure.
But he pushes people away.
Yeah,
because he's a pig.
He's a disgusting pig.
All middle-aged men are pigs, as he tells us late in the movie. Uh-huh. Yeah, because he's a pig. He's a disgusting pig. All middle-aged men are pigs, as he tells us late in the movie.
That's why he's a pig.
It's either that or that heaven maybe rejected him and turned him into a pig.
Right.
Right?
Sort of like 50 of one, 50 of the other.
Right?
Yeah.
But also, war makes pigs of us all.
I mean, I like this thing that it's like, he's the best at doing a thing that's inherently
kind of fucked up.
They're like, what a hero.
He shoots people out of the sky.
He's like, I'm this disgusting pig.
As you said, he shoots children
in the beginning of it.
The movie opens with him. It's so heroic
and it's this Bond style like,
everything's happening.
He's shooting at children.
What a dancing rogue. Unintentionally, but he's shooting at children. What a dancing rogue.
Not intentionally,
but he's shooting at children.
Yes.
Well, there are these air pirates.
Yeah.
They got big beards and big teeth.
You gotta take them down.
I love the pirates.
The pirates are so good.
The pirates are so great.
They're so much fun.
Oh, what?
Opening with a bunch of pirates
kidnapping a bunch of stuff
like young girls.
Why?
That's good.
It's good.
But that's the thing. There's no point asking Why? That's good. It's good. But that's the thing,
there's no point asking why.
That's the beauty of this movie.
But I love the girls being like,
oh my God,
look, they're pirates.
The pirates being like,
take us seriously.
And then you cut to them
like five minutes later
and the kids are jumping around
and they're like,
we shouldn't have taken
all the kids.
Too many kids.
We could have proven
the same point
with like two kids.
This is like a handful now.
And so Porco's so good
that the pirates hire
this asshole
called Curtis
to,
I don't know,
help them fight Porco.
Who's like Ronald Reagan
combined with like
Douglas Fairbanks.
He's American
and they're in Italy
and he's just
played by Cary Elwes
in the dub
which is funny
because he was
a Robin Hood parody at one point. Right, but then Cary Elwes in the dub, which is funny because he was a Robin Hood parody at one point.
Right.
But then Cary Elwes also plays...
He's in a ton of these, right?
Just like David Ogden Stiers.
He became one of those guys.
I'll just do your dubs, whatever.
Which is funny.
He's the cat in Whispers of the Heart
and The Cat Returns, I believe.
I love The Cat Returns.
I haven't watched it.
Oh my God, The Cat Returns. The only Ghiblis I've never seen.
Cat Returns is
fucking fire.
The cat's back in this one?
Does he return?
In Porco Rosso?
No.
No, we're talking about Cat Returns.
Just be stupid.
Yeah, he's done,
you're right,
he's done three Ghibli dubs.
David Agonstaris,
who plays Mr. Piccolo
in the dub here,
I feel like he's done
multiple Ghibli dubs.
Well, he also, he was like Cogsworth, and he's...
Yes.
Right? I mean, he did so many...
David Agon Stiers?
Yeah.
He's also Jumba in Only Loans.
Yes, yes.
And he's Komaji in Spirited Away.
And he's the dad in Better Off Dead.
Justin, I feel like...
Well, no, I guess you gave your Miyazaki
his personality,
but do you have anything else
you want to say about Miyazaki
before we do?
Like, when did you get into Miyazaki?
Well, I would say
in the past 10 years.
Anime for you?
Or were you already into anime?
Well, to Griffin's earlier point
about your relationship
to Japanese animation maybe being contingent on your relationship to Japanese animation
maybe being contingent on your feelings about Western animation.
I feel like it gets even more complicated
because Japanese film animation
is so different from Japanese TV animation.
Very true.
Japanese film animation I've been able to access
much easier.
The distribution is totally different.
And as somebody who
my highest loyalty in animation
is to Japanese TV animation,
I think that accounts for why
I used to have a lot of trouble with Miyazaki movies
and I was just sort of like, I don't get it.
Was that the case from a young age too?
Did you get into anime early?
Yeah, yeah.
The first anime I ever watched was Sailor Moon,
which I fucking love.
And I didn't get into the Miyazaki movie.
I didn't really start getting into Miyazaki until like,
yeah, I'd say age like 14 maybe.
And it's just so tonally different.
And I also think the way that Miyazaki movies used to be marketed
in the U.S. was so strange.
They were very, I felt like they were marketed
with this very self-conscious prestiginess to them.
And I don't think that's a good way to approach those movies.
Yeah, that they're these special objects.
Yeah, like here. Haya don't think that's a good way to approach this movie. Special objects like here.
Hayao Miyazaki's
latest artwork.
I think in retrospect
that is not the way
to approach this movie.
It is fascinating
that in Japan
he is of course
the most mainstream.
He is like
the equivalent
of a blockbuster filmmaker.
I think he has
four of the top ten
highest grossing films
in the history of Japan.
Don't pull the list up
because I want to quiz you
on them at some point
in the podcast.
You want to quiz me? I want to do a reverse box office game with the top 10 highest grossing films in the history of Japan. Don't pull the list up because I want to quiz you on them at some point in the podcast. You want to quiz me?
I want to do a reverse box office game with the top 10 Japanese films because I looked
them up last night and it's a pretty fascinating list. Oh, do you have
the list? Okay. I'll do it at some point. Maybe in this
episode if we don't have box office results for Garoso
which feels like we won't. I mean, once again
we have like a
you know, 2018
re-release. Yeah, okay. So I might
do that at the end of the do that I'll call my shot
but Sailor Moon was sort of your entryway
in yeah and like Japanese TV
animation right and so I think for a long
I would say really only in the past
10 years have I really tried to
get more into Japanese film
animation what are your
like your top
TV shows what are your i'd say ava it's a the original
sailor moon okay um huh i mean you know i think i like a lot of the mainstream shit like like
cowboy bebop i guess um i like some of the more trollyy... I like some 2000s stuff.
I think that's when TV anime gets weird.
It gets very, like...
I don't want to say fetish-y,
but it's sort of like the anime industry at that point.
Yeah, it's like Haruhi Suzumiya I really like
because that is like the ultimate sort of like troll show.
Right over the head.
When you say troll show, you mean they're trolling or it's about trolls?
No, like they're trolling. Did Richard about trolls? No, they're trolling.
Did Richard Lawson have any role?
I'm asking.
No, Haro Suzumiya is a show that is trolling.
Okay.
Down to the level of which order you should ideally watch the episodes in.
That level?
It is a very fascinatingly constructed show that goes off the rails in its second season.
But it's a great...
It's like one of my favorite TV experiments is that show.
It's like from 2006.
So you get into Miyazaki.
Yeah.
You see some Miyazaki movie.
I don't know what you saw first.
Totoro.
Spirited Away.
Spirited Away.
Mononoke.
When do you come to Mr. Pick?
You know?
When does Porco
first show his face to you?
I think like three years ago?
Yeah.
Okay.
The first time I saw it
was at Metrograph.
And you were like gripping
and you kind of latched onto it
and you were like
this is the Miyazaki
I've been looking for.
Yeah, yes.
I felt like
I felt upset with myself that it had taken me so long to get to Porco Rosso.
Right, right.
I remember seeing the Porco Rosso poster at some point,
because I feel like this is one of the ones that is least discussed in his oeuvre.
Well, I think for a long time it was,
if you were talking to someone about which Miyazaki,
they'd be like, Porco Rosso, that's a weird one,
and it's more for grown-ups.
It also is a movie that doesn't really fare well
if the test is like, if you liked X Miyazaki movie,
the Y is never going to be,
if you liked Totoro, watch Porco Rosso.
I just feel like I didn't know it existed for a long time,
and then when it finally hit my radar,
when I saw the DVD cover at Best Buy or something, and I was like this is a miyazaki movie a pig no one talks about
it and he a pig i was like yeah oink oink right but i was like is do i not know about this because
this is the bad one or do i not know about this because everyone else is dumb and this is the
best movie ever it's the weird one i think that's best way. I think it grossed less than some of his biggest hits in Japan.
Like, it was not quite...
I think it sold it fine.
Yeah.
But it was not quite the sensation, maybe, that, you know,
Totoro had been.
It did very well in Europe.
Well, it's set in Europe.
I know.
It did well there.
It also feels...
I mean, I think Porco Rosso is a little...
It can feel a little discordant, even,
because so many other Miyazaki movies can feel like they're made by a guy who doesn't really like the future or the present.
And it's sort of like human innovation.
Has it ruined everything?
Yeah.
Meanwhile, Porco Rosso is about a guy working on his plane.
It's all these loving shots of equipment.
Yes.
And it just feels very, very different from watching.
You watch Nausicaa and then you watch Porco Rosso
and it feels like two completely
different world views are making these movies.
Even though I don't think, I think
on closer reading, they're not incompatible.
Yes. But it just,
at first glance,
something about Porco Rosso feels
like
there are elements that aren't revealed
in the other Miyazaki movies.
Sure.
Well, we started digging into this,
but I love that the movie starts with a nap
and then goes like a speeding bullet.
Right.
It starts with a little quiet nap
and then it's immediately straight into the action.
Comedy, action, thrills.
You know what I'm saying?
But you're right.
They're like...
Gunfire.
Like a Disney movie even would probably be like,
we're starting with this very melancholic sort of like,
here's Porco.
He napping.
Probably not.
Probably you would start in the air.
But then you do this without any table setting.
Without any table setting.
We know he's a pig.
I'm saying it's like 15 minutes before he shows up at the restaurant. But it's zero we know he's a pig. I'm saying it's like 15 minutes before he shows
up at the restaurant.
It's zero minutes before he's a pig.
It's zero minutes before he's a pig.
And he shows up at the restaurant.
You got Curtis there. You got Gina
there. Who plays Gina
in the American film?
Susan Egan, classic voice actress.
Oh, interesting. You know, she's
Belle. Yes.
From Beauty and the Beast. Yes, yes, yes, classic voice actress. Oh, interesting. You know, she's Belle. Yes. Yeah, yes.
From Beauty and the Beast.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
According to you, worst movie
in the movie list?
Yep.
You can't shame me.
I stand by that.
And Gina, like Curtis is trying
to like hit on Gina and is like,
you know, what's up with you?
I love you.
And she's like, sorry, I'm into the pig.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Steer clear.
I'm pig.
I'm pigged up.
Yeah.
But but I love that.
It's like Porco genuinely, as we get to later in the movie, has not ever considered that anyone would like him.
That's fair.
Right.
Yeah.
He's kind of like I'm a lost soul.
Right.
I was like, OK, I get what kind of movie this is.
This is the like, honey, you don't want to know me.
You don't want to be with me.
I'm protecting you.
But instead it's like, I'm a fucking pig.
Wait, she likes me?
Yeah, like even at the end of the movie when the guy's like,
what do you mean?
We're fighting.
She wants you, not me.
This is what I'm mostly mad about.
And he's like, you're lying.
He's so stunned that the guy gets an opportunity to clear cock him.
I think we've talked up the melancholic elements of the movie,
but I think it's important that the character, Porco himself,
is actually kind of carefree.
I don't know.
He's just sitting around drinking wine on a beach.
He's kind of got that vibe of like,
look, I brushed the face of death, and I'm still here.
So it's all extra time.
I think he's a little nihilistic.
And also we're in Italy.
And also we're in Italy, so the pasta's good.
I think he's a little nihilistic and a little we're in Italy, so, you know. And also we're in Italy, so the pasta's good. I think he's a little nihilistic
and a little hedonistic
in terms of like,
I'm doing me.
What's the worst thing
you can do to me?
I'm already a fucking pig.
Well, that's the thing.
If I'm a pig,
I'm like,
I'm gonna eat 24-7.
It's like,
I'm a pig.
I'm not gonna really worry
about how I look anymore.
I look like a pig.
He's got a great body shape.
He does.
And I love the way
he outfits himself.
His mustache is great, too,
compared to Curtis' mustache
which sucks.
Curtis' mustache
is the best signifier
that he's like
a weak chin dildo.
And like
Porco's mustache
even when you see human
and you're like
oh it was just the same mustache.
How is Gina supposed
to look at Curtis' mustache
at any point?
Right, exactly.
No thank you.
Curtis.
Yeah.
Sucks.
I'm trying to think of a plot here.
Wants to be a Hollywood movie star and also be president.
Oh, here we go.
Here, actually, you know, let me read you a Miyazaki quote.
I got my book.
Right?
Right?
Okay.
Oh, David's taking out a leather-bound volume.
It would be great.
There's like a green smoke rising from the pages.
This is your new bit.
Crest is glowing,
which is a line holding us.
Right.
It would be great if like Porco,
I could sit around and smoke cigarettes while watching some young kid and making comments like staying up late all the time will shorten your life or
it'll be bad for your complexion.
Laughs.
Of course,
reality doesn't work that way.
It'd be pretty tough to live the way the characters in this film do.
The staff members who worked on Porco Rosso had to burn the midnight oil all the time,
and some didn't even get to rest on a Sunday.
There are a lot of reasons for this, and it's an area where I need to make improvements.
Seth, I love you!
Here's the part that I want to get to.
But I personally enjoy it when I become so absorbed in something that I completely forget
about myself
that's kind of sweet
I know
but like
I feel like that is
the Miyazaki vibe
where everyone else is like
we have to please
Mr. Miyazaki
I will draw
until my hands are bones
and he's just like
sitting there
and he's like
oh I pooped in my pants again
because I just love
this movie so much
like I forgot
that I'm a human being
right everyone else
is like working
overtime and crunching
and Miyazaki is like
I'm trying to work so hard
that I forget who I am.
That I become one with the work.
Yeah.
I relate to that. So I like
that Miyazaki is like I get that you see
I want to forget about myself. I get that you
see me in Porco. I see me in Porco.
I do. But at the same
time when I'm making these movies I am not me.
I am the movie.
Like, you know, me exits my body
or whatever. I love that.
Love Porco.
Trying to see what else
he says about Porco.
Is there anything about Pig My Cat in there?
Does he say anything about that?
No, he doesn't mention.
He's talking a lot about warfare.
New national treasure and it's pitch I've been throwing around New national treasure
And it's about my cat
You mean like Nicolas Cage is like
We've gotta find Ben's cat
Cause it's a national treasure
She is a national treasure
I can't disagree with that
You disagree with that?
No I can't
Airtight Lodge
He talks about how
as he's making this movie
suddenly the world order collapses
the Soviet Union goes away
there's war in the Balkan states which is where this is set
and he felt very conflicted about
why am I making this flippant war movie
set in a place where there's actual war
so I feel like he tried to make the movie a little
darker as a result. A little more of what you're
talking about. The kind of like
it does make animals of us.
It is kind of like
this unforgettable sin.
At the best, you become a glorious animal.
You become like a majestic
predator. Not that pigs are predators,
but you know what I'm saying.
No, they just eat.
That's why I like saying. They eat.
But they are smart piggies.
That's the other reason why I like them.
They are smart creatures, I think.
They're very smart.
Why don't you ever get a teacup pig pet?
I do it now.
What is a teacup pig?
It's a supposedly small pig that's cute, but then they do grow up and
they are large creatures.
You can treat them like a dog. You can train a pig. pig that's cute, but then they do grow up and they are a large creature. What do you do?
You can treat them like a dog. You can train a pig.
You can like...
You did?
Clooney famously had a pig.
Pigs are right up there with dolphins.
It's the smartest. Quite intelligent.
It's illegal in New York City to own a pig.
Yeah, but that's just bullshit. It's illegal to own
all kinds of things in New York City that people own.
My roommate had a snake for seven years.
It was totally illegal.
But like, who's going to come?
Snakes are illegal?
Yeah, but who's going to come?
De Blasio's out of town, too.
And police?
Yeah, it's like De Blasio's not going to...
No, you're right.
The only one they care about is ferrets.
You know, the Giuliani.
Ferrets, they're cheap.
Giuliani hates the ferrets.
Yeah.
Get a pig.
Get a pig.
No, but I also feel like if you have a pig,
you want to be able
to take it outdoors.
Yeah, I mean,
you'd probably prefer
to live in nature.
Well, they're never
going to check my snake
like fucking case.
It was pretty big.
Let me tell you.
I remember I stayed
in his bedroom one time.
Wait, was the snake there
when you stayed in that bedroom?
I think it was.
Yeah.
Your old roommate learned it.
That's right.
Learned foot.
A learned man. Yeah. He was a Learned. That's right. Learned foot. A learned man.
He was a learned man.
He had a snake.
I remember.
And I remember I asked him once,
why do you have a pet snake?
It was a big, it was like a large boa constrictor.
And he was like, when I come in the room,
he doesn't even know who I am.
That was Learned's vibe.
I remember Learned's bedroom was just books and a snake.
Correct.
He wanted to have like a-
Like the largest library I've ever seen in one room.
Yes.
He wanted to have a Beauty and the Beast style experience.
So he tried to turn his room into all these like bookcase sort of shelving corridors.
That is exactly what it was.
It was just like big, like hardcover books.
Yeah.
He very deeply connected to Belle, like, you know, gliding along on the ladder, you know.
Right.
Where is he now?
Texas.
Doing what?
A PhD in, like, science fiction at Rice University.
Wow.
I know.
Pretty cool.
So it's Learned Corner.
Yeah.
Learned a foot.
Anyone?
Shout out.
He's the only person with that name.
So if you heard that name, you know him.
So we end up at gina's restaurant
yeah and uh i'm trying to think the key things we established in this scene
um well gina loves porco right that's it i don't know he goes to talking about the curse this is
the first time we we start to talk about the curse. They talk about the curse. That he was once a man.
Curtis shoots him down, right?
Because he's got the engine trouble.
Curtis is like, I got him.
He's dead.
Well, that's after this.
I guess that's, but that's right after this.
Yeah, right?
There's nothing else here.
There's a rivalry.
I just like, I like Genius Restaurant.
I like this, like the movie stepping into this, like Casablanca.
Yeah, that's the thing that's established is how European this is.
It is quite European.
That's what I want to talk about.
Most Miyazaki movies have like a setting where you're like, I could watch like a 200 episode
TV show about this place.
Right.
Yeah.
You know, about Gina's cool fucking restaurant.
Yes.
About the Spirited Away bathhouse.
I don't know.
Whatever.
Right.
You know, like there's some cool place.
Yes.
I want to live here.
He's very good at making you want to be in an environment that he's created.
I would say.
I think the other thing that's established by the beginning, too, is that everybody just has a plane.
Like there's so many scenes where people just sort of run into each other in the air like it's traffic.
Yes.
And they're just having conversations.
Yeah.
This is.
That's how people interact in this movie.
They're flying planes.
Kind of world.
Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to flying planes kind of world yeah um yeah uh wanted to see planes oh yeah there's that place late that part late when um what's your
pants the the younger one um yeah yeah yeah is like uh you know come on you guys are seaplane
pilots you gotta behave like seaplane pilots i You got to behave like seaplane pilots. I'm like, the honor among seaplane pilots.
She says seaplane pilots a lot.
I was like, I guess seaplane pilots have their own code.
We all know that.
The camaraderie of seaplane.
They're like sea air cowboys, right?
Yes, exactly.
But I think to Miyazaki, right, there's that,
the freedom of the air and the open ocean.
But then also, you open those planes up, there's mechanics. There's metal. There's that, the freedom of the air and the open ocean. But then also, you open those planes up.
There's mechanics.
There's metal.
There's fiddling.
There's so much fiddling.
There's like grease.
There's, you know, hard work.
There's like craft and care.
He loves planes like he loves animation,
where he's like working on something intricately, you know,
and you have to get exactly right.
But he hides the, it's just weird,
that contrast between the machinery versus nature in this
movie whereas all the other Miyazaki movies
feel like they hide the machinery
like all of the sort of metaphor
of like machinery and the effort that
goes into making those movies feels like
that effort is so well hidden
in something like Princess Mononoke
you're saying the other movies don't get into the guts
in the same kind of way yeah this movie
has guts yeah it has like the inner workings of things.
And I feel like even when Curtis shoots him out of the sky,
there's always a moment in a Miyazaki movie where something is just so animated
in such extreme detail.
The thing you can tell he spent eight months on alone.
And for this movie, it feels like that is when the plane gets shot down
and you just see it fall apart,
all the pieces strip off
and you're like seeing a plane
get deconstructed in the sky
in real time.
But then you also think
of the people at Studio Ghibli
who had to like animate all of that
and you're like,
man,
these people probably sucked.
When he goes to Piccolo
and Piccolo is showing him the engine
and he's like revved it to like,
and he's like,
they're both like, yeah, in the shed, in the shed and he's like revved it to like and he's like they're both
in the shed
and he's like yelling
I'm like this is Miyazaki.
This is him.
Detailing the shot
where they're testing
the engine in the shed
and every single panel
has these very precise
movements
as it's blowing in the wind
and you're like
it must have taken
like three years
to animate that
one 30 second
bit of animation.
I mean it's like
the wood buckling
in Castle in the Sky.
Oh, I love that. He's very good at that.
There's always this kind of thing where it's like
something falls apart and you see...
Yes. Well, hand-drawn
animation is over, though, so it isn't...
That's true, but on the other
hand,
photorealistic
keyframe CGI gives us the opportunity to see what a real lion would be like.
I just can't wait to be here.
Can I give you my secret hope right now?
Sure.
There's a part of me that thinks that Netflix is going to start announcing.
They're going to be like, we have an animated studio.
Right.
They have one.
Right, right.
But like, it'll be, we're going to do Disney shows.
They have been very vague about what they're doing, but the person they hired to run it is Glen Keane. Oh, sure. Right, right. But like it'll be we're going to do Disney shit. They have been very vague about what they're doing but the person they
hired to run it is Glen Keane.
Oh, sure. Right.
A legend. And they
released a video because you know Netflix
has all these like different Twitter accounts
and different YouTube channels for different like genres
or subsections of what they do.
Sure. Like Netflix. Right. Netflix
is a joke and right. Right. All that
sort of stuff. Right. They did a video for their animation channel
that was talking about what Netflix wants to do for animation,
how they want to be their own animation powerhouse.
It's a lot of Glen Keane talking and other people talking
about the qualities they want to bring.
It's a lot of videos of people drawing.
And obviously, even if you're doing CGI or whatever,
you still have to do the sort of basic
drafting, you know, of...
Is the drawing like character modeling?
That's what's unclear. I mean, this is
really like a video that's not going into details, and I
don't remember if they've announced anything.
But I kind of believe that, like,
Netflix, as they are trying
to, like, disrupt the industry by doing the things
that other people aren't doing, making
films about the types of people that aren't being made or the genres that other people aren't doing, making films about the types of people
that aren't being made
or the genres that are sort of dormant,
like the romantic comedy or whatever,
that they're going to be like,
here's our slate.
We're doing four hand-drawn animated films.
I think they're not announcing them
because it takes years,
and Netflix likes announcing everything
very shortly before it comes out.
And they have the Selick movie,
which is supposed to come out next year.
I think they're going to start announcing
a bunch of classically hand-drawn films.
If they're smart, that's what they do.
At a time where every other studio is like,
we're done,
and you're feeling more and more of a push
from the, I don't know,
the intellectual community.
Yeah.
You know?
You can't let this die. And that's also this weird thing that Netflix has done, where don't know, the intellectual community. Yeah. You know? You can't let this die.
And that's also this weird thing that Netflix has done
where it's like, we're going to gain legitimacy
by going to the most sort of artistic sort of...
That's always been their move, right?
Right.
Much like Amazon.
The corners that are seen as uncommercial.
Right.
Is CG animation, 3D animation in Japan,
like, is that taking off at all
like Pixar style
you know
I guess it's more expensive
yeah well that's the thing I don't
quite get about it in the US
it just seems like
transitioning from the era
I guess it's one thing to have digital
like 2D animation but yeah
I think the weird historical trajectory toward the most expensive possible animation seems counterintuitive to me.
I don't quite get it.
I'll say this.
It is easier and cheaper to make bad CGI.
It is also harder and more expensive to make good CGI.
Yeah, yeah.
Right.
You can make the Crayon movie.
Or Norm of the North
or any of these bullshit things
where you're like,
what is this?
Like, if you have two sets
and your animation,
your performances are bad,
you can make a shitty computer animated film
faster than a hand-drawn film
because you don't have to draw
every single frame.
Sure.
You have models that you can just
sort of reuse in a sloppy way.
Right.
But to do it well
You need
a big
big lot of infrastructure
a lot of people
Right.
Is insane
because there are
all these different departments
that don't exist otherwise.
Okay.
The texturing departments
and your lighting departments
You gotta texture.
You gotta texture.
Things.
But every other country
has I feel like
moved to CG. I mean like i i was in
barcelona recently and there was so much cgi shit in spain anytime we were turning on the tv i was
surprised by the amount of like completely native uh spanish cartoon shows or trailers for spanish
like this is the third in this franchise of beloved CGI, Spanish CGI movies.
I keep saying CGI.
CGI.
But I feel like at least what carries over here in any way,
you don't really see Japanese CGI.
Yeah.
I mean, I think Japan's,
I think the way that anime has adapted to like digital 2D animation
is just more graceful than the way other countries have adapted to 3D post-VeggieTales animation.
I just don't know.
Because I think China even has more CGI animation now.
Yeah, I believe it.
Japan seems to have stayed pretty strong.
Obviously, these movies are still popular in China as well.
Right.
That crossover.
Yes.
All right.
He got shut down. Yeah. He pretends he's dead. He right. He gets shot down.
Yeah.
He pretends he's dead.
He's sort of like, fine.
You think you killed me?
That's great.
I can lie low.
And also, I'll let Curtis sell the legend.
Right.
He's going to brag to everyone that he killed me, which gives me some time to lay low.
Because Porco...
It's the Harvey Dent thing.
It's the Harvey Dent arc.
Right.
Porco is a wanted man. If they know some of these shores that he's washing up on, they're going's the Harvey Dent arc. Right. Yeah. Porco is a wanted man.
If they know some of these shores that he's washing up on, they're going to apprehend
him immediately.
Right.
So better for him to let everyone believe that he's dead.
Right.
And then not much happens until the end.
He needs to regroup, right?
He's just like hanging with Piccolo.
He at least needs to fix the plane.
Yeah, excuse me.
He meets a great friend.
No, he meets great people.
He's less saying hello because he doesn't have a plane.
Right.
The action is now basically, until the final duel, not a lot of action.
But this is the thing I like about this movie.
It's not a long movie.
Once Theo gets introduced, I was like, oh, this movie's also kind of a true grit narrative.
She's Haley Steinfeld.
And even the way it ends with the narration, which we'll get to,
Billy Steinfeld.
And even the way it ends with the narration, which we'll get to,
it is this thing of like, this is this man who was very tough to break through to,
who taught her a lot of lessons, who she taught a lot,
and they were just together for this brief period of time that changed the rest of her life.
Right, right, right. And she reminded him that he's not just a cursed big man as well.
Right?
Yeah.
You know what?
She kind of drew that out of him.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I think they're really nice friends.
And I also, I just like any story where someone has to prove that they know what they're talking about like this.
Sure.
You know, that he comes in, he's like, where are your sons?
Who's this fucking little girl?
He's a little retrograde.
Yeah.
Yeah, but it is funny how like the beginning,
it's like the earliest minutes and the latest minutes of the movie
are very action-y.
Like you said, after he gets shot down,
it's all of these scenes where he's like,
he's riding the train.
He has to get the plane to the shop.
Him sitting on the train is pretty great.
That's the thing. It's like all of the, I think all of that. He's just like, fine, has to get the plane to the shop. Him sitting on the train is pretty great. That's the thing.
It's like all of the, I think all of that.
He's just like, find him dead, who cares?
All of the stuff that's him dealing with the fact that his plane is fucked up.
These scenes, it's like, I mentioned earlier, I'm from Richmond.
And I think a lot about my own childhood watching this movie because I grew up outside of Richmond.
And my dad used to drag race.
Oh, really?
And he used to just work on his car all the time.
Sure.
And it's just sort of like the middle part of Porco Rosso is totally the vibe
of just like observing people who are really into their cars.
Yeah.
You know,
and like drag racing,
I imagine it's like your engine is what's most important.
Cause like the car is not going to,
you don't need a Cam Well, my dad has a,
you know,
a CTA Camaro.
It's very nice blue.
Nice paint job.
But,
but it's the,
you know,
when I was a kid,
I didn't get it at all
because I fucking hated cars
because they were super loud.
Like,
you know,
driving,
like racing is super loud.
I hated how loud it was.
I hated it when I was a kid too.
It was,
yeah,
too loud.
The culture of it,
I didn't get,
but then I watch a movie like this
and I think because of how meticulously all of it's animated,
especially all of the sequences where Fio
and all of the women and Porco are working on the plane
and they're sort of animating this sense of assembly,
it's like, oh, I kind of get this.
Well, I think that's the thing.
That's Miyazaki putting himself into the thing.
It's like,
when you find a field
where you can become obsessed,
commit the rest of your life
to having a complete understanding of this thing
and a complete mastery of this thing,
and when you're in it,
even though it's difficult,
you enter this flow state.
Yeah, yeah.
You achieve this state of zen.
Right.
Which, you know,
it's like people who race, they talk about that.
Anyone who has any sort of passion for anything that seems dangerous.
When you watch Free Solo and you're like, why the fuck would he do this?
And he's like, this is the one time I feel calm.
You know?
I think, as you're saying, this midsection of the movie is like,
this is a guy who doesn't really know what to do with himself
when he's not in a dog fight.
As much as Gina is like, why won't you accept that?
Even though he's so cool.
Right.
Yeah.
He can live a different kind of life.
You know you're cool, right?
And he's like, me?
What do you mean I'm a pig?
Where's the fuck out of a trench coat?
I mean, him just there on the phone, on the pay phone.
God, yeah.
Also, that old-timey phone.
I loved it.
Old-timey stuff.
Very cool.
Very old-timey.
But that's right.
He's a guy where he's just like, this is the one thing I understand.
Teo comes in and he's like, you better not fuck this up.
I've been working with the same people forever.
I know Piccolo.
I know his sons.
I can't take a risk on a grandchild.
You know? Because I need to get back up in the air. And can't take a risk on a grandchild. You know?
Because I need to get back up in the air.
And she's like, you're a sexist
and I totally know what I'm doing.
And also, I'm precocious.
She's very, she almost feels like when she's
introduced, her energy just
in terms of her animation feels so different from
all the other characters. She sort of moves more
fluidly. It's like, what's going on here?
I'm going to work on the plane. Shut the fuck up.
I got this.
Well, also, yeah, because everyone else is in this sort of like classic Hollywood, dare
I say it, because it's been on the bench for a while, patina.
You know, everyone else is giving these performances.
Patina engine crackles to life.
Everyone else is giving these performances that could have been done by any classic 1940s Hollywood star.
Right. And then she comes in
and she's giving like
specifically like 80s, 90s movie
energy. She's a
thoroughly modern character. Yeah, she's so modern.
Otherwise, yes, a little
classical. Love
that. That's true. That's true. And she's also just a
classic Miyazaki plucky
heroine. Yeah. Where you're kind of like,
oh, he made a movie about boys, and then she shows up
and you're like, okay, alright.
But that archetype doesn't exist
in the type of movie
that he is sort of referencing and using
as a mood board. No, absolutely not.
It's also in this strict, a boy version
of it might, like a sort of like, you know,
hey mister, you know, like that kind of kid.
It's also usually more of like a ragamuffin, you yeah a little ragamuffin right but it's i think it's
it's also this contrast with porco as a character because it's like porco has two different pairs
of glasses and he wears these trench coats and he's sort of you know he's nice but he's sort of
um closed off in a way and then you have Fio show up and her facial,
like her eyes and specifically
her eyebrows
have this very
distinct expressiveness
and so whenever
they're in scenes together,
it just plays up
that contrast
of like the kind
of performance
that Porco is giving
versus what energy
Fio is channeling.
Eyes are the window
to the soul. Animators are like, that Eyes are the window to the soul.
Animators are like, that's the whole key to the thing.
It's one of the reasons why Lion King fucking sucks.
Yeah.
The favorite Lion King.
And they make this conscious decision that it's like,
this guy's eyes are always going to be covered.
Yeah.
You know?
Not because we're trying to handicap this character's expressiveness,
because this is a character who doesn't want anyone to see into his soul.
He's trying to keep all his emotions
close to the chest.
And then,
but then like when you've
reached a point with him,
where you're,
you see his human face
for a second.
What?
Right, right.
And then he turns around
and it's the pig again.
Yeah.
I prefer the pig.
He looks great.
He looks great, yeah.
He looks fucking awesome.
Pretty great pig.
Very handsome pig.
Yeah.
Great style.
If he wanted to be in some Harle Hollywood movie,
just the pic.
Yeah.
Like, I'd be into it.
You know what I mean?
Just him flashing the thumbs up, you know,
with the pig face.
And it's just...
Scarf.
Iconic.
Love all of it.
He's a pic.
That's what we should do with photorealistic technology.
Make people look like pig men.
Not to keep on hitting on this,
like the fucking photoreal thing, but it's like... No, hit on it. make people look like pig men. Not to keep on hitting on this, like, the
fucking photoreal thing, but it's like...
No, hit on it. I feel like this is...
That's the Miyazaki thing, though, right?
It's such a good testament.
It's like one thing to accept that we don't do
hand-drawn animation anymore, but
I do think that Miyazaki
is one of the people who's going to make the strongest
historical case for,
listen, animation is a distinct thing and
realism is sort of an opponent of
the stuff you're trying to accomplish
in animated cinema. Right.
I just feel like, and this gets back to the
Cats trailer as well, but it's like this thing
of like, if you're going to use CGI,
use it to make things that are like
against the laws of nature.
That could not exist. Right.
Like tinted. And put them in. Do things with the camera that are not possible. Things like that. nature. Yeah. That could not exist. Right, right. It's like tinted. And put them in.
Do things with the camera
that are not possible,
things like that.
Right, right.
Stylize people's faces
in a way that doesn't make sense.
Or like,
they should never make
a live action Porco Rosso.
But if they did,
it's not like I'm against
the concept of Porco Rosso
being photo real
because that would be
in juxtaposition to
real human beings
in front of a camera.
Right.
Right. Porco Rosso.
It's perfect. Now he's been saying for a long time
that he was going to make a sequel. Did he?
And they wrote a script
and then, let me
get this excerpt. Yes, I'll find it.
I'll find it. Okay.
He wrote a script, Porco Rosso, the last
sortie, that would be set
during the Spanish Civil War.
So Porco would be much older.
Miyazaki was like,
it'll be about me being old.
That's my angle.
And he wanted
Hiroshima Yonabashi,
the guy who made The Secret World of Arrietty
and when Marnie was there.
He was saying he wasn't going to direct it.
I imagine he would ultimately.
And now that Ghibli's fallen apart, who knows?
But now it's sort of back together again.
Well, but that guy went off to create Studio Ponok,
which is sort of like trying to rise from the ashes of Ghibli.
He made Marianne the Witch's Flower.
What?
No, sure, I don't know.
It's one of those things like-
He's busy making whatever crazy shit he's making right now. It's one of those things like busy making whatever crazy shit
he's making right now.
It's one of those things
like old thing.
How do you live?
Old Fink.
Yeah.
The Coen brothers
have always said like
when we're older
we want to come back
and do old Fink
with the Turo.
You're like you're not sure
if that's a joke or not.
Right.
You're not sure
if that's the best idea
or the worst idea.
Yeah.
If it's better
leave well enough alone
or if it'd be like
the most triumphant thing.
They seem to generally know like you know what I alone or if it'd be like the most triumphant thing they seem to generally know
like you know what I mean because sometimes they'd be like yeah we're gonna do
a Jesus spinoff from
Big Lebowski
and then eventually it's like oh someone
Totoro's kind of making that and they
were clearly like yeah you know what
if you want to do it that's fine like we're
probably not gonna do it right which is apparently the exact
same attitude they had with Fargo.
Like,
people were like,
this is such a big deal
that like,
the Coens blessed Fargo.
Right.
And apparently,
their attitude is like,
as long as you don't step on our shit,
it's fine.
You can do whatever you want.
Yeah,
it's like,
okay,
yeah.
Yeah.
We just don't want to do that.
Right.
God,
Fargo's so bad.
It's a good show.
What do you think about Fargo?
You haven't watched it.
I've never watched it.
Never watched it.
Season one,
season two, great. I still haven't watched watched it. Season one, season two, great.
Yeah, season one, season two.
What season is it in? So you only hate season...
They did three.
That's not true.
You hated season one, season two when they were on.
But three was kind of like...
I was like, Jesus, the earlier ones were actually like something.
I haven't seen three yet.
New Queer Eye, great.
Makes you cry every time.
That's a good show.
Ben's TV corner.
Here we go.
I love Queer Eye. I love Queer Eye. I mean, good show. That's TV Corner. Here we go.
I love Queer Eye.
I mean, Queer Eye is trying to get the water, right?
Like, that's the whole, that's their, like, mission, right?
That band teacher episode lead off?
I haven't watched the new ones yet.
I resisted watching it for a while.
I got into it once my back was injured,
and I started watching a lot of shows that I wouldn't usually watch.
I resisted watching it for a while because it feels like an attack on my lifestyle.
Any show where people improve themselves or others,
you're like, fuck you.
What do you think you're doing over there?
You're saying I should wash my clothes?
I feel like the good antidote to that,
I think that the two Queer Eye guys who are really good antidotes to that. I think that the two the two Queer Eye guys
who are really good
antidotes to that
sort of concern
are Karamo
and Anthony
because they're both
kind of incompetent
especially Karamo
because if you
if you think for like
five seconds about
what Karamo's role
in Queer Eye is
it's like occasionally
like say something
about an album
that came out recently
and then just sort of
like drift away.
Culture?
Yeah.
And then meanwhile, the other guy has to build a house or something.
Bobby always does the most work.
Yeah, it's like Bobby's building a house and Cramo's like,
did you hear the new Ariana Grande album?
It's like, what the fuck is your contribution, buddy?
The original career had that too.
It had Jay.
He'd be like, you really want a strong handshake
when you walk into a room.
But here's my take.
He handles the sensitive conversations.
That's his role.
Because everyone comes with their personal baggage,
and he is always the one to sort of address it
and make them feel more comfortable with it.
That's my take.
So in the original, the joke was like,
Jay is completely pointless.
He does nothing.
Like the culture lifestyle position is silly.
And then like food, like Ted Allen,
like that's the best one.
Obviously Ted was the best
of the original Fab Five.
Right.
There's no question.
This one
Anthony is a cute boy.
All he can do is really
slice fruits and vegetables.
Right.
Isn't Anthony just like
I don't know if you put
like avocados in a blender
that's called guacamole.
I think that's great though.
Blender's a little extreme.
Because you're just showing
people how to sort of
take a little bit of control
of like their daily thing.
Right.
That's his stance is like
I don't want to give them
things that they can't replicate. I want to give them
stuff that like you can actually do. That's how you make
pozole. Like what is he going to teach me
to make pozole? But then the thing I think about
Karamo that he's like really smart is like
no what he's actually doing is he's just being a really good
friend. But sometimes
he's not. Sometimes he's just like
a web headline just walks into
an episode of television and it's
about like Big Sean or something. When he's good though he sort of like episode of television and it's about like
Big Sean or something. When he's good though
he sort of like burrows in and he's like
He does have great moments.
I do think that there are some episodes where there are
great Kramer moments. JVN is a
he's a national treasure and that's what we
should do a movie about is finding JVN.
He's gone missing?
Yeah. With Pig? Yeah.
Damn. I don't know what any of you guys are talking about
but I remember Ted
Ted Allen he rules
remember Ted the teddy bear
you mean just like a teddy bear
no Ted America's favorite movie star
oh no
I don't
we're not talking about the parsnip again
do you know when you said that
I was like I guess I forgot I guess it's gone he literally we're not talking about the parsnip again yeah i do you know when you said that i was
like i guess i forgot i guess it's gone it's gone out of the head it haunts me it burned in my
memory every time i close my eyes i see ted fucking a woman with a parsnip yeah but the thing about
the all that is like seth mcfarlane even is sort of like yeah i don't know i kind of just want to
make my space my sincere star trek show now yeah. Yeah. You know, like, you know,
he's like, eh, calm.
I get it.
Everyone was into that for a while,
but I feel like now I'm just doing the Orville on Hulu.
It's just crazy how big the first head was.
We talked about this on the podcast.
On this podcast?
Yes.
Seth MacFarlane voices Curtis.
That could be a good alternate casting
if they do the Porco Rosas.
Well, because Seth MacFarlane does have that,
like, I'm Sinatra reborn,
like that vibe, right?
God, that's,
of all of Seth MacFarlane's vibes,
many of which are bad,
that's one of the worst.
Like, I'm a song and dance man at heart.
It's like uncanny,
or I don't know,
something about it that feels like
no one asked for this.
Do you know what his album of standards is called?
Maybe he's made several now.
I forget.
It's on the tip of my tongue, too.
Music is Better Than Words.
Hey.
I believe is the title.
Hey.
Damn.
I think that's what it's called.
God, do you know how rich he is?
You're correct.
Yeah.
Do you know how rich he is?
Can I take a guess?
Okay.
821 million.
take a guess okay 821 million this says 200 million maybe seems low yeah you gave him like oprah's income i thought he had like oprah income there was someone i would have guessed higher than
200 yeah anyway well whatever he also uh made an album called Holiday for Swing. Third studio album, No One Ever Tells You.
He's smoking a cigarette.
Fourth album, In Full Swing.
I guess 821's a little absurd.
It's pretty high.
That's sort of like Spielberg number.
Yeah, but he's been going hard.
Maybe Fox fucked him on American Dad or something.
I don't know.
I don't know.
We done talking about Pocahontas?
No, we gotta talk more about Pocahontas.
This is another thing I like.
Okay, what's another thing you like?
I like that Curtis is this like
Hollywood leading man type.
Sure.
Especially of that era.
Clearly has the insecurity about the fact
that he's not actually a tough guy.
Right, right.
It's like this actor, action star kind of thing
that goes back to like, you know,
John Wayne not serving in the war.
Sure, sure, sure.
You know?
He can't back up his, right, right, right.
Right, that like,
he wants to be a movie star
and be the president.
He wants to have these performative roles,
but he hates that Gina likes a fucking pig
more than him
because he actually gets his hands dirty.
She's chill about it though.
Yeah.
Like for the whole movie, she's like...
She's incredibly chill for the entire film.
Yeah, yeah.
I like the pig.
What can I tell you?
Because you think that Porco's chill because he's drinking wine and smoking all the time,
but he is overcommitting.
Gina just gives no fucks through this entire movie.
And let's talk about her beautiful dream.
Go on.
Curtis makes the proposal to her, and she's like,
Look, I gotta be honest.
I made a promise to myself.
There's one man I love.
And he only visits me at night at my restaurant.
But if he ever comes here and on his plane when I'm in my garden, I'll know.
And I can't leave behind the chance of that happening.
Pretty devastating for Curtis, honestly.
Yeah.
leave behind the chance of that happening.
Pretty devastating for Curtis, honestly.
Yeah. Where she's like,
not only am I rejecting you,
but I've pinned my hopes on a pig visiting me when I'm in my garden.
And then similarly devastating, he flies
by. Yeah, right.
Like, right when she's saying that, it's like, oh my god, here he is, here he is,
here he is, here he's happening, and he's gone.
Yeah, right.
And I love that the movie ends on the note of, like, I'm not gonna tell you
if he ever showed up. Yeah.
That's our little secret. I became friends with Gina on the note of like, I'm not going to tell you if you ever showed up. Yeah. That's our little secret.
I became friends with Gina for the rest of my life.
Porco and I, we kind of lost touch.
I'm not going to tell you if you showed up at the garden or not.
That felt very True Grit to me.
When she like shows up and they're like, yeah, he just died.
And then the end of True Grit is just her walking through the sanitarium.
She's like, well, time comes for us all.
Yep.
Credits.
Masterpiece, by the way.
Yeah.
Underrated.
People now putting it
into their tops
of the 2010s lists.
Not a crazy movie.
It's a great movie.
Have you seen True Grit?
Yes.
Yes.
I know, Justin,
that you rarely watch movies.
I've seen like 13 movies
in my life.
Really?
Yeah.
You're not a big movie watcher.
Skyfall.
You love Skyfall. You're more of big movie fan. Skyfall. You love Skyfall.
You're more of a TV guy.
No.
You like anime.
Yeah, I like anime and I play video games.
And you like Miltank.
Oh, yeah.
I have a Miltank shirt on.
What is Miltank?
A Pokemon.
Oh, that's a Pokemon?
It's a Pokemon.
It's from Gold, Silver, I think.
Yeah, yeah.
Second generation.
It's a big cow.
Okay.
Yes.
It's a shady video game
a shady video game?
like about a shady guy?
a shady guy
a shitty or shady?
shady
it could be shitty too
I'll tell you what
I'll tell you
fucking the teens
that play Rainbow Six Siege
are shady
well but that's
you're talking more
about the player
yeah
Ben doesn't want to
hate the player
he wants to hate the game
I don't know what you mean
by a shady
he wants a game
about a guy who's
kind of scummy and is kind of like
You want like a Kane and Lynch or something.
What's like the modern day Max Payne?
Oh man, Max Payne.
A game where you have to virtually
take pills, you know? That's what Ben wants.
I don't know.
What would you...
Kane and Lynch is like the last thing I can think of
like that.
Fuck Kane and Lynch.
And it's like,
Grand Theft Auto's not even
like that anymore.
Ben, I got an answer for you.
Lego Pirates of the Caribbean.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
A lot of scoundrels
in that one.
I love scoundrels.
Kind of the dirtiest
of the Lego games.
Bunch of scallywags
and scofflaws.
What if they do like Lego body heat?
They start just making like full-on sex noir movies.
I'd love nothing more.
Lego, what's it called?
The Last Seduction.
I would love if they did like, you know, of course we did Lego Star Wars.
We went through all of those films.
We did Lego Indiana Jones.
We went through all of those films.
We thought it was time we finally covered the rest of the Lawrence Kasdan.
Right.
Exactly right.
This is Lego Kasdan.
Lego Silverado.
There's a Silverado level.
Lego Big Chill.
Big Chill.
Mumford.
Lego Mumford.
Lego Mumford.
Lego Dreamcatcher.
Lego.
Ooh.
Lego Longtime Companion.
I would love a Lego figurine of Morgan Freeman in Dreamcatcher.
End of a shit weasel. Yeah. I don't know if you could fit the eyebrows love a Lego figurine of Morgan Freeman in Dreamcatcher. End of a shit weasel.
I don't know if you could fit the
eyebrows on a Lego head.
No, you'd need to make the head bigger.
Or
toughed him out.
Sure.
Porco.
Before the duel, what else? He recalls his
pig transformation
in the Adriatic. We gotta talk about this scene. Before the duel What else He recalls his Pig transformation Yes
In the Adriatic
Wait we gotta talk about this scene
Okay
I love the ambiguity of it
I'm trying to
Oh this scene
Yes
His explanation
The flashback
Yeah
Human man with a beautiful mustache
We love him
All of his friends get shot down
Yes
He's freaking out
It's during World War I
He goes up and up and up and up
He sees his friends going up.
He sees like a big band of shimmery planes in the sky.
Yeah.
But that's the thing.
He's kind of very like Powell and Pressburger.
But he sort of blacks out for a moment.
So he doesn't know if he's hallucinating, if he's died, if he's watching them go to heaven.
Yeah.
If he's entered some different plane.
Even the part where he gets shot.
Even the part where the planes are getting shot down,
though,
feels like a hallucination
because it doesn't feel like,
it's not like it's a super straightforward,
like,
war scene or something like that.
It almost feels like they're flying
in this,
like,
artistic formation.
Yeah.
And then the planes just start getting shot down.
It's like a Buzz Lee Berkeley,
like,
it looks like a water number or something.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
They're all,
like,
diving down.
Yeah,
and then it just becomes a nightmare
in this very weird way. Right. Right. But there is that sense that, right, he, yeah, yeah. They're all, like, diving down. And then it just becomes a nightmare in this very weird way.
Right.
Right.
But there is that sense
that, right,
he, like,
glimpsed the other side,
maybe, and, like,
something like that happened.
But also that so much
of this is tied to
this sort of shame
of Gina's first husband.
Yes.
Getting shot down,
that he lived,
that he was a survivor.
That is part of Gina's story
where she's like,
look, I fell in love with pilots, they're all dead.
This guy died there, that guy died there.
But what can I do?
He has a survivor guilt that is almost
greater than the fact, the shame
over him being a pig.
Right, but they're probably tied together, right?
Totally.
And when he tells that story,
she sees his human face for a second.
Then he a pig again.
And then, come on, right right doesn't Curtis show up well the plane's ready
the pirates show up the plane's ready
although it's like not been tested
you know it's a little
it's a little way tricky well the takeoff
after they first finish the plane when they're
flying on the water and like Theo is
built in the compartment so that she can
fly in Porco's plane earlier
like that's a beautiful sequence to me I love him saying you can't get my plane and like Theo is built in the compartment so that she can fly in Porco's plane earlier.
Like that's a beautiful sequence to me.
I love him saying,
you can't get in my plane even if your butt is small.
There is a lot of butt talk at this point. A lot of butt talk.
She's like, are you kidding me?
My butt's so small.
Like you got the best butt you ever,
for planes you ever heard about.
He's got a pig butt.
He has a pig butt.
They have very different, right.
Right, he's not one to criticize butts really. No. Yeah, he is a pig butt. He has a pig butt. They have very different, right. Right. He's not one to criticize butts,
really.
No.
Yeah.
He is a pig.
Yeah.
I mean, that pork
butt could go for
a pretty penny.
A high-end
restaurant.
But one of my
favorite visuals in
the entire movie is
all of the sea
pirates, sea sky
pirates coming out
of the little tent
on the beach.
Yes.
Yes.
The ambush.
Stuffed in like a clown car. And then they all spill out. We talked about it in Castle of the little tent on the beach. Yes, the ambush. Stuffed in like a clown car,
and then they all spill out.
We talked about it in Castle of the Sky,
but he's very good at large adult sons.
And the pirates are, in both cases,
large adult sons.
Adults in Miyazaki movies are always
the most fascinating thing.
Because it feels like a referendum on adults
as a class of humans.
He thinks they're stupid.
I mean like his dad's
we've talked in Totoro
and like his dad's
usually dweebs.
Yeah.
Like the dad is kind of
like hey man whatever.
I think this movie
gets the closest though
to being like adults
suck but also
I don't know
Porco Rosso feels like
it's for once
Miyazaki trying to
sell
I guess kids
or adults
on the idea of like
adults can have adventures too
I guess.
Right.
Because otherwise
it's always kids
meeting strange monsters
in a forest or whatever.
That's the thing I like
about the Laika movies a lot.
Sounds pretty fucking cool.
I know I compared Miyazaki
to Laika and Laika to Miyazaki
before in this miniseries
but save for Missing Link
which is the one I don't like.
Which one?
Folks he didn't like it.
I don't like it.
But I think I realize
one of the reasons I don't like it is that it doesn't have a child protagonist.
And the Laika films are really good on that Miyazaki level of like,
these adults have gotten so caught up in all this bullshit that doesn't matter,
that they're sort of like oblivious to what's really going on.
Yeah, Link is kind of that character in Missing Link.
Yes. I guess. Like he's the closest to your's really going on. Yeah, Link is kind of that character in Missing Link. Yes.
I guess.
He's the closest to your child protagonist.
Right.
And I don't like that he isn't
the audience surrogate character.
That the audience surrogate character...
You don't even talk 40 minutes in.
I know.
Your problem is the Jacqueline character.
It's terrible.
It's not great.
Yeah.
It's not great.
It's like, what if someone was the worst?
Yeah, what if someone was an asshole?
Right.
And you're like,
is he going to learn not to be an asshole? And they're like, yeah. Like, right at the end. That's like five minutes someone was the worst yeah what if someone was an asshole right and you're like is he gonna learn
not to be an asshole
and they're like
yeah like
right at the end
right yeah
yeah yeah
um
I didn't love that one either
I think you genuinely
disliked it
where I was like
it's okay
I hold him in such high regard
it looks great
looks great
do you like the Laika movies
Coraline
yeah I've never seen
Coraline
Paranorman
you'd like Coraline
uh I don't have a take you haven't seen Coraline. Paranorman? You'd like Coraline. I don't have a take.
You haven't seen Paranorman?
No.
Paranorman might show up a bunch.
Name the other ones.
Keep going.
My best of the decade.
I feel like I've seen at least one of these.
Yeah, I took a swing at a decade list.
I can tweak it.
I'm going to take a couple swings.
With some other...
Kubo?
Kubo, I feel 50-50 on Kubo. Because I really loved the voice performances in Kubo I feel 50-50 on Kubo
because I
weirdly
I really loved
the voice performances
in Kubo
but it sucks
that there are
white people
yeah
I still like
the performances
though
I don't know
I like the performances
I like the style
something about that movie
didn't totally
come together for me
uh huh
yeah
I respect it
more than I
enjoyed it
except for the voice
performances
which I thought were fun
and then box trolls I assume you haven't seen
you should check out Paranormal
Paranormal and Fox
I've seen Skyfall, Kubo
Porco Rosso
Melancholia
I don't know
it's like 4 of my 12 movies that I've ever seen
these are all good movies
Lucy another masterpiece made by a sex criminal It's like four of my 12 movies that I've ever seen. These are all good movies. Lucy.
Another masterpiece made by a sex criminal.
Yep.
Katie just asked me for the
Jackson, Lace Camera Jackson
Booksmart review. I had to send it to her right away.
Okay, there we go.
You sent me that Brady Bunch thing.
It took me like 20 minutes to realize that's the Brady Bunch house.
Yes.
He's a weird guy.
Lace Camera Jackson posted a video of himself walking down the street and singing Sunshine Day.
And then at the end, the camera whip pants to reveal that he is in front of the house from the Brady Bunch.
But it doesn't really, you're like, oh, okay.
You know, like, it's like behind a wall.
Yes.
And it's like for sale.
I just wanted to do more musical numbers.
Oh, is that what you want him to do?
Yes.
Of course he does his 12.
What if he like moves to Info Wars?
Yeah, right.
It could happen.
It's a short walk.
Do you like Lights, Camera, Jackson?
No, but I do like the idea of Lights, Camera, Jackson moving to Info Wars.
I like that.
I actually really like that.
I like if Lights Caber Jackson was
the completely apolitical
movie critic.
Like Alex Jones was like, and here with another
review is Lights Caber Jackson.
That's what they do. You get Lights Caber Jackson, like Anthony Fantano.
You can really put a lot of...
You can actually build Infowars
into a modern
critical powerhouse
of a sort? You can do it!
You can do it! It doesn't change at all.
The globalists! Everyone else he
has around him is like a broadcast-y
like sort of like pro.
Right and he's like I give Stuber three bags
of popcorn or whatever you know whatever
he does. If you're looking for a
fun ride in the theaters this summer
you could do worse than
hitching a ride with super but then like once in a while a book smart comes along where he's like
uh what it's clearly like like it's like he's trying to shift without pushing down the clutch
like you know what i mean like he's like these are teenagers i don't think so. Yeah.
And then he has to go, I don't know,
go back to his Borg cube for a day
to recharge or whatever.
You're supposed to like this movie,
but these teens break all the rules.
Like, literally...
I say cuff them.
His written review of Booksmart is like...
Is this Sinatra now?
What happened here?
Oh, man.
What if Sinatra lights to them?
His review of Booksmart, his written review.
It's just like him being like, teens don't behave this way.
Outrageous.
They're dishonest.
They don't listen to a thing their teachers tell them to do.
Let me find the actual one.
Did you see Booksmart?
I haven't seen Booksmart.
The last movie I saw with you was Power Rangers.
Oh, yeah.
That shit was fire.
That's a great movie.
Right.
Yeah, the last movie I saw at a theater had to be First Man, which I liked a lot.
Wow, so you see like one movie a year.
Wow.
Here we go.
Wow.
Here we go.
Okay.
The entire narrative revolves around the fact that Amy and Molly don't know the location
of the night's hot party.
We're supposed to believe that these
two classmates, who are apparently
intelligent young women, they can't
find out where this huge party is.
Utterly ridiculous.
Well, you know, Lice is the guy who always
knows where the party's at, though. That's the thing.
He's never... I was aware of every
party. Right. No one ever definitely
didn't tell me where a party was.
I chose to abstain.
The kids are, big surprise, a
stereotypical bunch of modern high school misfits.
Instead of getting ready
for college, this cast looks like they should be wrapping
up grad school.
What?
He's old looking.
He really
did not. He gave it an F.
What's his movie of the year
do we know
this year
I feel like
I don't know
his only A listed right now
is for Wild Rose
which is a good movie
that is a good movie
love that movie
did you see it
yeah I loved it
isn't it fucking great
yeah
oh my god
I didn't know you saw it
I'm excited
it's really good
it's so good
it's really good
I've been listening to the soundtrack
me too
I didn't realize Mary Steenburgen wrote that song she wrote the
fucking song mary steenburgen just woke up one day and was like i can write country music now
and wrote down a song it was famous people are weird yeah yeah she's bizarre yeah but wild rose
have you seen wild rose ben this this lady okay it's a woman from glasgow who gets out of jail
she gets out of jail for smuggling heroin she's a single mom woman from Glasgow who gets out of jail. She gets out of jail. For smuggling heroin.
She's a single mom
with two kids.
She gets out of jail.
She lives in Scotland
in Glasgow.
She's real wild.
Working as a cleaning lady
but all she wants to do
is get to Nashville.
And sing country music.
Cool.
Yeah.
She just wants to
fucking honky tonk.
Three chords in the truth.
It's so bad.
And she has that kind
she has that Scottish accent
played by Jesse Buckley
yeah
and then like
when she gets on stage
she sounds like
Miranda Lambert
you know what I mean
like she just has this
like incredible voice
fucking
one of those movies
where I went to the screening
being like
I don't know
yeah
I mean I guess this is a movie
I know nothing about it
and like two minutes in
I was like
yep
yep
you got me
yep
I'm into this
right in the corner yep uh and look encourage
people to see it don't want to spoil it but the last like 20 minutes is where I went from being
like this is very effective to being like this movie's really fucking smart agreed it does some
things that are not like pointedly not manipulative agreed thated. That are very, very emotionally intelligent.
He didn't like the dead don't die either.
Adam Driver repeatedly
says the line
this is going to end badly.
Not only does it end badly,
but it begins badly.
And the middle is even worse.
I mean.
Wow.
He did it.
Yeah, I know.
You got to give him some points
for some killer dunks there.
Rack attacks.
Yeah.
He's on fire.
Kuro Rasa, come on.
They have the big duel.
They do have a big,
they have a very prolonged,
the internet is really bizarre.
I think it's pretty funny.
I think it's Miyazaki
making fun of men.
Yeah, it's totally that,
but it's so,
it goes hard.
It goes hard. Well, the image of them are, all their faces so, it goes hard. It goes hard.
Well, the image of them are all their faces all swollen after they've been beating each other.
That's what I love.
The fist fight with no music.
It's like they fight in the sky.
It comes back down to the ground.
They're fighting on the shore.
This is after they've been shamed into honorable combat by, you know,
Theo being like, you're seaplane pirates.
Like, you're seaplane pirates like you're seaplane
whatever
and then all the pirates
at this point
have just given up on pirates
they're just sort of
wearing normal clothes
and like this is crazy
this is crazy
these guys fighting
I love how brutal
the fist fight is
cause it's not like
a scuffle
it's like a gentleman's
fist fight
the moment when
Theo pulls up the chair
to be the corner coach
for Porco is so
great. But it is like Marquis of
Queensbury. I suck
you in the face. And then you take a moment.
You prepare your one punch.
There's a real give
and take, but also their faces just get
so grotesque looking. There's
no music. It's just the sounds of
their faces smushing.
When she corner mans him it's like
fucking 10 comedy points.
And then what's the
way that he finally
gets a. He's like by the way
fucking Gina likes you.
You can't have both women.
Ben you're a
boxer. It's true.
What do you think of that?
A punch in. The fighting scene. Theo's face turns red. What do you think of that? A punch in the fighting
scene. The fighting is fun.
I mean, they
show cartoons
actually take punches, which is
rare. Usually they're unaffected
or they sort of like...
It's like a dust cloud sort of like a skirmish.
Yeah, yeah. Dust cloud skirmish.
This is like real punching
and bruising and swelling. I love a dust cloud skirmish is right. This is like a real, like, punching and bruising and swelling.
I love a dust cloud skirmish.
And then, of course.
And I love a gentleman's fight.
Right.
He goes red.
He freezes.
Gets the punch on him.
Parker goes down, but it's right after the bells ring.
Right, right.
Doesn't count.
Gets away with it.
Right.
Yeah.
And the water's all shallow, which I like that, too.
Gina shows up
in a plane
just like nonchalantly
she just sort of lands
in the plane
she's like
FYI the Italian Air Force
is en route
yeah
they're trying to catch you
Porco
trying to make some prosciutto
they say that
in the boxing match
he's like
I'm gonna turn you
into prosciutto
I mean hey
I'd eat it
this guy you'd eat him?
You'd have to kill him and then cure him.
If I went to the butcher and they were like,
and looked around,
I got something in the back,
and they pull out a platter of prosciutto,
I'm like, oh, it looks nice, and they're like,
pork rossi.
I'd be like, alright, sure, how much?
20 bucks a pound? Let's do it.
If it was the finest looking prosciutto you've ever seen,
but it had goggles and a
mustache on it.
So you couldn't look at it without, you can remove them both, but you have to go through
the effort of removing them and thinking about who you're eating.
Yeah, but the meat, because he drinks so much wine throughout the movie, it's like that
meat is going to be really rich.
Oh boy.
I love it.
I would never eat them.
It's one of my best friends.
That's one of my favorite Simpsons.
As a rule, I don't eat friends.
Oh, he smokes, though.
So that's the other thing.
It's like the wine, but then he smokes a lot.
That's true.
Cigars, though.
Yeah, what if that's how you make a nice tasting animal?
It's like you've got the farm guy who's like,
I only let them smoke the finest Cubans.
Like all these big smoking cigars.
It's a smoked ham.
Yeah, my foie gras the goose smokes
three cubans a day yeah um what was i gonna say porco rosso oh no yeah the simpsons joke that's
one of my favorite late simpsons jokes is uh is homer eating the lobster that is his pet
where he's like it's so good you don't remember that it's not snappy but it's something like that
yeah i know i know what you're talking about uh that i think that episode's really funny pinchy You don't remember that? Snappy? It's not snappy, but it's something like that.
Yeah.
I know what you're talking about.
I think that episode's really funny.
Pinchy.
Pinchy.
That's a better laugh.
And remember how he kills Pinchy?
No, how does it count?
He gives him a hot bath.
He's like, oh, he's upstairs.
I wanted to draw him a bath after a long day and Marge is like Homer
and then it cuts to him like eating
after a long day
good guy
sorry
we don't do enough Simpsons jokes on this
this whole podcast should just be us remembering bits
from the Simpsons
Honeydew is the money melon on this. This whole podcast should just be us remembering bits from The Simpsons. People love that.
Honeydew is the money melon.
What if we go back to it being a podcast about how there was only ever nine seasons of The Simpsons?
Oh, sure. We pretend.
There's no
bit to that. That's just a nice world.
I know. Right.
The whole point of The Phantom Menace being the only movie
is that's kind of a weird world. Yes.
The Simpsons ending with season 10 is just a
nice world. What God wanted.
Right, exactly. What season
are they on now? Well,
Simpsons starts the year I'm born, so I believe
they're on season 30 or 31.
Season 30 just ended.
Yeah. Wow. Yeah, so 31's starting
up right around the time this episode's dropping.
That's insane.
Wow. Okay.
Cool.
Too much. How many episodes are there in total?
662.
Thank you for letting me guess.
Sorry.
The ending is this beautiful
Theo voiceover where it's like, this is her
story now. She gets authorship of it.
This becomes about this brief moment
she had with this crazy pig
man. I love that
she tells us that she gets a long lasting
friendship with Gina out of it. Right because he kind of
hands her over to Gina. Right. He's like you deal
with this. You go with her but then she's like we've remained
friends for a very long time. I took over
Piccolo. Yep.
What's it called? Piccolo Aviation
or whatever the name of the company is.
And she's like,
Gina and I had a great relationship
and I'm not going to tell you
what happened to Porco Rosso.
He showed up
when she was in the garden.
This is for us to know.
This is my story.
I think,
the problem though,
Theo's kind of papering over something
which is she takes over Piccolo.
They live in Italy.
And then eventually
World War II happens.
So Theo makes a killing
off of making airplanes for the Italian.
Hey, that's what The Wind Rises is about, right?
Yeah, but it's just...
He's like, I just love planes.
I didn't realize they were going to be used to drop bombs on Pearl Harbor.
What if the Porco Rosso sequel is he comes back and he's like,
let's fucking...
Let's kill the let's like.
Let's kill the Nazis.
Right.
What if it's like a vigilante,
you know?
Well,
the sequel is Spanish Civil War though,
so it's pre-World War II.
Oh,
okay.
But he's again fighting fascists.
Yeah.
I assume he's not.
That's how they get off the,
into Franco.
I choose to believe.
What if Porco has to fight Theo?
What if Theo has like this airplay,
she has this empire,
and Porco has to. I like this idea that it's the like this airplane? She has this empire and Porco has to.
I like this idea that it's the Spanish Civil War.
Justin, you dark.
I like the idea
that it's the Spanish Civil War and now I'm realizing
what I want is to believe that all the characters
died right before Hitler took power.
They all just had nice peaceful
deaths. Right, they all just like
leaned back in their
you know, with a magazine on their face and that was it. Yeah, they all just like leaned back in their magazine on their face and that was it.
Yeah, they overdosed on relaxation
and contentment. Yep, that's the way to go
when you're 800 years old. Can I do this
box office game with the top films in Japan?
When was the release? Do you have some
American box office? Oh, it's like
2018, the re-release.
I mean, I have that if you want it. The numbers I assume
are not...
I don't know. Oh, wait, what numbers? Sorry? I mean, it came out in 92. That's its actual release it. The numbers, I assume, are not... I don't know. Oh, wait.
What numbers?
Sorry.
I mean, it came out in 92.
That's its actual release date.
I mean, if you want to guess
the number one film,
which is a sequel
in which the character
knows that he's in a movie,
go right ahead.
Deadpool 2.
Correct.
And then, you know,
number two film is,
you know,
a masterpiece about a big blue,
a big purple man.
Masterpiece about a big purple man?
It's not a masterpiece.
It's a pretty good Pretty good movie Big Purple Guy
Big Purple Guy
Avengers Infinity War
Yeah right
And then number three
Is a masterpiece about
Reading books
It's not books
A book club
Book club
An actual masterpiece
Right
Number four is a movie
I've never
LeBron Bergen
Get in Buckets
Oh number four is A Ben Falcone LeBron Bergen, Get in Buckets oh number four is a
Ben Falcone film so
you know it was number one most people's year
right but which one?
Life of the Party? Yeah that one
and then number five was
what's this one again?
oh it's where Payback was a mother
Peppermint?
no but
that kind of movie?
Sure.
Is it more serious?
Yes.
Or more comedic?
More serious.
And Payback is a mother.
Payback is a mother
in this film.
The woman getting Payback
is a mother.
Sure.
That's the takeaway.
That's the take.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like Peppermint?
Yeah.
An actress you really like I think
do you know this movie?
I really like?
yeah
you know this movie?
maybe not
take the guess
no you take
no cause it's like
it's the only one
that I
almost saw
I haven't seen
any of the movies
in question
you almost saw this one
yeah
do you think I've seen it?
I don't think so
but it is an actress I really like?
I think so.
I mentioned her name at the basketball episode,
and you got really excited.
Oh, this movie's bad.
Oh, is it bad?
Breaking In?
Yeah, this movie should be great.
Right, but it's not good?
It's one of the most disappointing films
in the last five years.
Along with that Taraji movie,
you didn't like either?
Proud Mary?
Yeah.
Both of them are just like,
this is right there.
And the actresses are really locked in
and the movie's a fucking mess.
Breaking in directed by James McTeague.
Yep.
Who I sat next to at dinner once.
Wow.
Breaking in's a very bad film.
Okay.
Okay.
Top 10 highest grossing films
in the history of Japan.
At a
point in time... Not so in general, not like
animation, just in general.
American and Japanese
releases. There's only one
that you will not be able to get. There's one
that is a Japanese film that I imagine you haven't
heard of. Say it. It's number
eight. It's called Bayside Shakedown 2.
Sounds great, though.
Ponyo is number 11.
It just recently got pushed out.
Oh, I'm rude.
Very rude.
Or it got pushed out in 2016.
But now guess the top ten highest grossing films in the history of Japan.
It is one, two, three, four, five Japanese films, five American films.
I'll tell you the nationality of each one before you guess.
And I've given you number eight, Bayside Shakedown 2.
Number 10 is an American film.
Number 10 is?
Number 10 is an American film.
It grossed 15.60 billion yen.
Damn.
Is your name on this list?
My name?
No, your name.
The movie, your name?
It is.
Okay.
Which number?
Four.
Hell yeah.
That's what I would do.
I love your name.
I feel like we should just try to throw shit at the wall.
No, just see if we can get any sort of like a classic elimination style.
Okay, so let's do that.
Now we have four and eight.
You have four and eight.
All right, spirit it away.
Is number one still?
Wow.
That is incredible.
Number one.
I think they re-release it sometimes.
You know what I mean?
I don't know.
I'm looking at this number here and it feels like.
Maybe that's just the number.
Because nothing has come close to it.
Wow.
There is one film that has made.
Spirit of the Way is at 30 yen.
30 billion yen.
30 billion yen.
Right.
The number two film with 26 billion yen. Avatar? No. Right. The number two film with 26 billion yen.
Avatar?
No.
Wow.
Is it on the top 10?
It is, but it's 10.
Huh?
Because what's interesting is after I looked at this list,
I was going down a rabbit hole of other countries' top 10 highest grossing films.
Almost all of them have Avatar in the top three.
Right.
Like in the UK and France.
But for some reason, Avatar didn't hit quite as big.
Okay.
Interesting.
10, and it's not that it got replaced hit quite as big. Okay. Interesting. Ten.
And it's not that it got replaced by more recent films.
Okay.
You know?
So Ponyo's number 11.
Avatar's number 10.
Bayside Shakedown's number 8.
Spirited Away is number 1.
There are three.
And your name is number 4. Oh, your name is number 4.
Titanic.
It did 25.
Titanic is number 2.
Yeah.
So Spirited, 30. Titanic, 26.. It did 25. Titanic is number two. So Spirited,
30.
Titanic,
26.
Your name,
25.
There's one other film
with essentially
25 and a half.
25.4.
American or Japanese?
It's an American film.
It's the most recent film
to crack the list.
It's the only
American film
from this decade
to crack the list.
What's interesting here
is there's a lot more staying power
than in the American top 10 that keeps rotating.
Where, like, the franchises just...
Because this list is, like, 2001, 97,
2014, 2016, 01, 04, 97, 03, 02, 09.
2014, release, 25.48 billion yen.
It's the third highest grossing film in the history of Japan.
Any other clues?
It is the only American animated film to make the list.
Oh, American animated.
Spirited Away is number one, Titanic is number two.
The third highest grossing film in the history of Japan
is an American animated film.
The only American animated film to seem to permeate the culture.
I'm even looking down here.
The next highest grossing American animated film
is number 23.
It's Finding Nemo.
Then you have to go down to 28.
It's Toy Story 3.
WALL-E is before then.
Is it a Pixar movie?
It is not.
Damn.
Wow.
I don't know.
Wow.
I mean,
do you want to throw out
some other guesses
for the other spots?
We've got an Avatar.
Yeah.
And I'll give you a hint.
There are three Miyazakis
and you've only guessed one of them.
We only guessed
Spirited Away.
Howl?
Is Howl in there?
Correct.
It's number six
with 19.6 billion yen.
Yeah, and that's a movie
about a moving castle.
Toto Otero?
Nope.
No.
The earlier ones are less.
They were more like video hip
and things like that.
So I'm going to guess
the other one is Mononoke.
Correct.
Yes.
19.3.
Howl's moving castle
and Mononoke very close to each other. Six and seven on the Correct. Yes. 19.3. Howl's Movie Castle and Mononoke
very close to each other.
Six and seven on the list.
So how many left?
We got this
American animated movie to go.
I'm just realizing
Mononoke would have been
the number two film
at the time with Titanic.
Yes.
Mononoke was the record.
Right.
And then these other things
that come above it
have been released since.
Spirit Away number one.
Titanic number two.
Your Name number four.
Halls Movie Castle six.
Mononoke seven.
Bayside Shakedown two number eight.
Avatar ten.
Right.
You're missing the American animated film, which grossed 25 billion yen, and you're
missing the five and the nine slots, I will say, are both from the same franchise.
They're two American films from the same franchise.
Not a lot of clues here.
Okay, you want more clues?
I mean, three, I feel like I've given you so many clues.
It's a 2014 animated film that is not from Pixar.
It's huge.
It was huge everywhere.
It's not like it overperformed here.
Yeah, I know.
It's some blind spot that I'm like not.
It's a massive blind spot.
It's one of the movies that's had the greatest cultural impact
of the last 10 years.
Frozen?
Correct.
Frozen is the third highest grossing film in the history of Japan.
I was getting lost in like DreamWorks and stuff.
I forgot about regular old Disney.
And it's also when you say animated,
I'm thinking of animated and not.
CGI.
Not, right, artificial intelligence.
Yeah, it's the only computer-generated movie
and then there are
two films
from the same franchise.
What is interesting to me
is that they are
the first two films
of that franchise.
So is it Avengers
and Ultron?
It's Iron Man.
No.
No.
And it's not,
it's truly
the first two films
of the franchise.
Oh, okay.
It's not like
Avengers is like a sub thing.
Yeah.
Because especially overseas, most franchises built.
Yeah.
The overseas market built.
And this is two movies the franchise peaked.
I mean, it's literally, this is fascinating because number five, All Time Japan, is the first film in the series.
Number nine, All Time Japan, is the second film in the series. Spider-Man? Number 13 is the first film in the series. Number nine, All Time Japan, is the second film in the series.
Spider-Man?
Number 13 is the third film in the series, which underperformed everywhere else.
Oh.
And then number 23 is the fourth film.
Like, each of them did less, whereas in the States, they pretty much grew.
There are two films in a long franchise that has since ended. X-Men.
Definitively.
Definitively.
And they have been trying to do other shit around it.
It's not X-Men?
So they're like, can we do other stuff in other mediums?
Can we make movies that are sort of connected but aren't really the same thing?
They're trying to keep the sanctity of the movies,
but I feel like everyone feels like it's a matter of time
until they bring the original actors
back and do a new film.
That feels
like the thing where everyone's waiting and they're like,
they gotta be a little bit older
to bring them back
and do it. What is it?
No, don't do it yet. The first
two films, I mean, I'll give you the biggest clue.
They're from 2001 and 2002.
They come out in successive years, and they're huge.
One makes 20 billion yen.
One makes 17 billion yen.
Harry Potter.
Never would have gone there.
Philosopher's Stone is the fifth highest grossing film in the history of Japan.
Chamber of Secrets is nine.
Chamber of Secrets.
Like the one that everyone's like, oh yeah, I guess so.
Now let me throw out some other crazy stats, okay?
Last Samurai, the 12th highest grossing film in the history of Japan.
Armageddon, tied for 13 with E.T. and Harry Potter.
Deserves it.
Armageddon deserves it.
The 16th highest grossing film in the history of Japan.
Right.
And far and away the most recent film to appear on the slice.
Ridley Scott's a good year. I knew that one. Bohemian Rhapsody. Right. And far and away the most recent film to appear on the slice. Ridley Scott's a good year.
I knew that one.
Bohemian Rhapsody.
Boy.
Oh boy.
And then you get into
like Jurassic Park,
Phantom Menace,
Wind Rises,
21 is Alice in Wonderland.
Has a very big presence
in the Tokyo Disney theme park
by all accounts.
No comment.
Everyone else I feel like
is just sort of like,
okay, we're done.
And the 31st highest
grossing film
in the history of Japan?
Why, of course,
it's the original
Bayside Shakedown,
the movie.
Me, I love a
Bayside Shakedown.
Anytime I'm in Bayside.
I'm more of a
Bayside Shakedown 2 guy. Well, Bayside. I'm more of a Bayside Shakedown 2 guy.
Well, you know, I agree.
I'm tired.
So that was fun.
Me, I had to see that Tarantino movie.
That kid's a punk.
You ask me, I like a good old-fashioned Bayside Shakedown.
Okay.
Okay.
America's cheering, all of our listeners.
They love it.
Doing the wave. I don't get cheering, all of our listeners. They love it. Doing the wave.
I don't get why this is my Sinatra.
I don't think he sounds like this.
No.
But this is what I'm doing.
It sounds like your impression of my Joseph Gordon Leonard impression.
I know.
That's kind of what it is.
I was thinking about that.
I know the precise weight of this loaded die.
I'm going to sell these government secrets.
I'm Edward Snowden, and I made a weird commitment to replicating his voice,
even though no one cares.
Weird.
No one cared about any part of that movie. No, it is me, Philippe Petit.
I am French.
I, of course, am French.
I walked on a baguette.
That was my first balancing act.
We said how he needs to complete the trilogy.
A stale baguette.
The complete trilogy of auteurs who peaked in the 80s and 90s
making unnecessary remakes of best documentary winners.
At the time I called that, we had not.
So you had The Walk and then you have Snowden.
Snowden.
I'm just citizen four.
Right.
And since I made that call,
another one has joined the fray
in the Annals of Best Documentary,
which is clearly what he will do.
Free solo?
He will do a free solo remake.
I'm Alex Honnold.
Yes.
I gotta climb this here.
El Capitan.
Right.
I can't do it.
He'll do a free solo remake with...
Like who's a lost 90s director.
Yeah.
Curtis Hanson. He's dead. Sidney Pollack is dead. like who's a lost 90s director yeah curtis uh hansen
in fairness most of the people we've dragged into like we've talked about a lot of dead people that
we've nonetheless sort of reanimated for the purpose of this podcast we've interrupted them
uh do you have any final porco rosso or miyazaki thoughts uh just watch i mean the movie is great
like it's why you texted me like he doesn't put shit on this but it's great Like it's Why is it You texted me Like I'm
He doesn't put shit on this
But it's annoying
Cause it's just like
People should watch
The Flying Pig movie
I agree
We didn't even spend
That much time on the plot
Cause it's not
It's not plotting
Again it's like
You read the manga
It's 14 pages
You get it
The whole point is
It's the visual spectacle
It's animation
It's the loving details
It's character
Yeah exactly
It's a character driven film
Yeah
I love it He's one of my best friends It's the best movie ever Based it's character. Yeah, exactly. It's a character-driven film. Yeah. I love it.
He's one of my best friends.
It's the best movie ever based on an in-flight video.
But even as a character-driven film, it's not even that much of a script-driven.
Like, it really, they're, I don't know, man.
It's behavioral and it's attitudinal.
Like, I was just watching it and I was like, I'm in on the vibe of this movie.
Like, Gina doesn't say shit, but you get such a vibe from Gina because she just sort of walks through the movie.
I can set my watch to this movie because I understand
the way it's ticking. You know, it's just like
I get it, baby.
I love that pig. He's just a pig.
He's working on his plane.
I love that pig, baby.
He's working on his plane.
Maybe we will get Porco 2 one day.
Ben, you like this one, right?
You're happy. Porco 2,
Theo goes fash
yeah
that's
that's
Forko 2
Red Pill
Red Pill
um
next week we have
um
Mononoke
ah
Mononoke
Mononoke
great movie
yeah
I agree
I agree
I agree that next week
we have Mononoke yeah I can't I can. I agree that next week we have Mononoke.
I can't
argue with that.
Don't. It's the truth.
I feel like David has given up. He's staring off
into the middle. Someone sent me a text that took me a second
to puzzle that.
I figured it out. Can you read it or is it private?
I'll read it off mic.
Okay. Yeah. No.
I love Porco.
He might not be my favorite Miyazaki,
but I think that's good that we have the two sides between us.
Sure.
Okay.
Well, geez.
I was saying it's a compliment.
I was agreeing.
You went, sure.
I just think if you watch Porco Rosso
and then go watch the documentary about Ghibli,
The Kingdom of Dreams and Madness,
it's like putting two and two together.
Right, right.
You're like, oh, I get it.
This guy, this guy,
this chain-smoking weirdo
who makes these movies in his weird apron
is just like
he's the pig.
He's the pig. Have you watched the ramen video?
No. I'll find it. I've been saving a lot
of these things for later.
Justin, thank you for being here.
Thank you. This was fun. You don't watch a lot of
movies, but we finally got you on. I listen to a lot
of Blake Check. Yes, you do. It's kind of like being into movies. You don't watch a lot of movies, but we finally got you on. I listen to a lot of Blank Check.
Yes, you do.
That's kind of like being into movies.
You're this interesting subset of blankies, which is people who like the podcast and don't like movies.
Yeah, it's great.
Which is a subset.
There are some.
There are.
There was, yeah.
Although I do like the Star Wars prequels, which is how I got into Blank Check.
Really?
What's your... Well, I like thinking about them more than I like certainly...
I don't like Attack of the Clones, so I should retract my previous statement.
I really dislike that movie.
But, you know, I like Star Wars discussion.
You got into the Star Wars.
Yeah.
Can I say something crazy?
Sure.
I haven't rewatched any of them since we did that.
Me neither.
Of course you would.
Why would you?
Right.
We watched them too much.
We were immersed.
Right.
But the more I like think about stuff, I'm like, is Attack of the Clones my favorite
of all time?
It's not.
It's bad.
It's so bad.
It's so weird.
Can I, I will end with this.
I will say, I remember release day of Attack of the Clones.
My mom took me to see that movie.
Retired bit.
If you think that like I I cannot reconcile
how excited I was
to go see a Star Wars movie
I saw Phantom Menace
in the theater
I liked it
I was a kid
but Attack of the Clones
I literally
it's during the
the Jango Fett chase scene
I fell asleep
wow
my mom had to wake me up
I fell asleep
during the Jango Fett chase
that's very early in the film
I was like all in
couldn't do it wow it's the only time I've ever fell asleep during the Django Fett chase. That's very early in the film. I was like all in.
Couldn't do it.
Wow.
It's the only time I've ever fell asleep in the movie theater was watching Attack of the Clones
when they're in the asteroid belt.
I just dozed off.
I'll say, I mean, you know, we've mentioned this before,
but I feel like we were harder on those movies
because of the bit we were doing.
Partly, that's true, because they certainly don't live up to standing outside of the Star Wars universe.
Right, right.
They're only interesting in dialogue with the original films and how much he deviates from them.
Yeah.
How reticent he is to, like, do what people want is what's interesting about them.
I don't think any of us, either of us would argue that they're good.
what's interesting about them.
I don't think any of us,
either of us would argue that they're good.
But I feel like
if we watch them with context,
we both have more
complimentary things to say.
You say that,
but it's not true.
This is,
it's just the trick.
And we talk about it so much
where we're like,
you're like,
Phantom Menace might be good.
And you turn it on
and you're like,
no, I don't like it.
And then it ends
and you're like,
but maybe there's something there.
You know, like,
it's like when it's on,
you're like,
oh, I see.
I know this is tough. It's very boring. Right, right, right. But then the second it ends, you're like, but maybe there's something there. You know, like, it's like, when it's on, you're like, oh, I see. I know this is tough. They're very boring.
Right, right, right.
But then the second it ends, you're like, but, you know, what about Wado?
Let's think about it.
It is fascinating now how much, like, prequel defenders are becoming, like, a thing.
The exact people who are like, finally, we kicked Lucas.
Like, the people who are, like, texting death threats to Lucas are now like,
fucking Kathy Kennedy. She doesn't have the balls to make
a prequel. She doesn't have the balls to make bad
movies that no one likes. We talked about
this on our Evangelion podcast at the ringer of
all the people who are mad at the Netflix dub
are the same people who in fucking
2001 hated
the original English dub because they were
like, oh, it took so many liberties with the original
Japanese script. And now they've missed that
fandom is like a curse
it's a fucking
it is a curse
it's an Ouroboros
and a curse
they want to be able to say
that the last thing
was better than this thing
it's always
that's the art
you had to be there
it's always the logic
of like you had to be there
for the real thing
putting in the work
weed was so much better then
yeah
we're done guys
breaking my back
as a Star Wars fan
for five years oh that's true I have been breaking... Yeah. We're done, guys. Breaking my back as a Star Wars fan for five years.
Oh, that's true.
I have been breaking my back.
Yeah.
We're done!
We're two boys with broken backs.
Thank you for being here, Justin.
Marco!
Thank you.
Thanks for listening.
Please remember to rate, review, subscribe.
Thanks to Andrew Guto
for our social media.
Thanks to
Liam Montgomery
for our theme song.
Pat Reynolds and Joe Bowen
for our artwork.
Go to blankies.red.com for some real nerdy shit.
Go to TeePublic for some real nerdy shirts.
I think we're working on some new shirts
that we'll be hitting around.
They'll be breaking the internet around Christmas time or whatever.
Black Friday.
Oh, sure, fine, yeah.
This year they're going to have to call it Blank Friday.
Aren't they?
David, this year?
They're going to have to call it Blank Friday. Are they? David, this year? They're going to have to call it Blank Friday.
People are going to be storming the malls looking for their Checky merch.
Tickle Me Checky?
Please can we be done?
Get ready for Tickle Me Checky!
Okay.
You can use it as a pillow.
Dollar bill, y'all.
You put them in your pillowcase.
Dollar bill, y'all.
Right.
Next week, princess mononoke
and as always
patreon.com
listen to some marvel commentaries
what are we up to now
good question
what would be approaching
far from home
homecoming
it's gonna be be Black Panther next.
Oh!
Great commentary.
A great one with Jamel Bowie.
Yeah.
I mean, we really actually did a good job on that.
I agree.
Although once in a while, we're just...
Don't call your shot.
I think...
I remember when that was done, I was like, huh, that was good.
Don't you start.
What?
You don't like Michael B. Jordan.
I love Jamel.
I don't like Michael B. Jordan in that movie in particular.
Oh, I forgot about that.
In this movie, I think
he's good. I think he's good in Fruitvale,
which is not a good movie. I think he's bad
in Black Panther, which is also
better than Fruitvale, but
good movie. Jamel's good.
I'll listen to it for Jamel. Yeah, you should.
It's also one of those things where
sometimes we're just quiet because we're like,
this is a good scene.
We're suddenly just like,'re like oh this is a good scene and we're suddenly just like
oh yeah
oh yeah
this is cool
also usually when we do
the commentaries
and there's three in a row
like that by the third one
we're like crazy
right right
and this one we're just
kind of like oh yeah
we're like
oh I'm just going to
give in to this movie
I don't have the energy
yeah
it actually holds up great
when you do that
because you've seen other
ostensibly fun
and good horror movies
and then suddenly you're like
oh this is like operating
something special
right
okay anyway
and there's always Porco Rosso Fox
I don't know the episode's over get out of here
he doesn't
he does
wait you don't think he fucks
he seems kind of like I don't know
I think the whole point of Porco Rosso is that he fucks.
And the movie is like him largely remembering what it is like to be one who fucks.
Yeah.
Alright, sure.
He fucked and he will fuck again.
Yeah.
I feel like that's the tension in the movie.
I don't think he makes love because I don't think he will let anyone in to that.
The guy who sits there and eats that plate of pasta like he does and sips that wine like he...
That guy fucks. That guy
fucks. Okay, you're right. He's all about
pleasures of the flesh. I don't know if
Miyazaki fucks. I think a new funny thing would be
to be like, I saw the new Quentin.
That movie makes love.
Oh boy.
God, the souvenir makes love.
Souvenir does make love.
Donald Curtis does make love. Does it, though?
Yeah.
Donald Curtis does not love.
Hey, Ben, we're done.
Yay.
That was fun.
Oh, my God.
David?
Yep.
You ever wonder what it would be like to be David Bowie's neighbor?
Uh, sure, I guess so.
You know, to live station to station with him?
Of course.
Or, I don't know, let's say what it would be like to get into a water gun fight with Tupac.
Oh boy, that sounds very thematic.
Uh-huh.
Well, I got a little surprise from you.
Okay.
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