Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Andrew Schulz

Episode Date: February 23, 2023

Neal Brennan interviews Andrew Schulz (Flagrant, You People) about the things that make him feel lonely, isolated, and like something's wrong - and how he is persevering despite these blocks. Andrew's Blocks: 00:00 Intro 00:41 Too Generous 4:47 Kindness 7:41 Parents 12:48 Success 16:43 Depression 20:05 Mom 27:45 Relationships 39:16 Wife 47:44 Bad Habits Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81036234 Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle YouTube Subscribe: https://bit.ly/2Lf6yvE Audio Subscribe: https://link.chtbl.com/blocks?sid=yt SPONSORS: Miracle: https://trymiracle.com/neal BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/neal Honey: https://joinhoney.com/neal Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

McCrispy fans, there's a new jaw-dropping McCrispy at McDonald's. It's called the Firecracker McCrispy. It has the crispy, juicy, tender chicken you love, topped with crispy jalapenos and a super tasty sweet and spicy sauce. You'll wish this spectacle of flavor never ended. Try the new Firecracker McChrispy today at participating McDonald's restaurants. Hey, I'm Neil Brennan.

I have a Netflix special called Blocks where I go over the things in my life that make me feel like something's wrong with me. Make me feel crazy, make me feel alone. And now I have a podcast that you're watching where I have my friends come on and they tell me what their blocks are my guest today he's let me he's letting me sleep on his couch as it were it's kind of a power move right is it i don't know i thought it's like a nice

thing you don't have to rent a studio yeah yeah i guess yes i don don't give Alex any money. Exactly. We do all the work for you. Yeah. Yeah. The power move is by you. I'm using your studio. Yeah. This is generosity. This is one of my blocks. Yeah. I'm too generous. Is that true?

Well, I will say this for you. Andrew Schultz, everybody. He's got all kinds of shit streaming, and he's got a great podcast called Flagrant 2, and he's got- Check out you people on Netflix. He's got you people on Netflix, of course. can forget tons of cgi in that movie you're actually not even in the movie they cgi they took clips from flagrant and they put you in the movie illegally yeah um and uh okay so here's what i'm impressed with about you. Okay. Great comedian. Thank you. Very, very, very savvy culturally.

Extremely savvy culturally. Maybe the most culturally savvy comedian I can think of. Thank you. I would also say, in terms of playing culture, you understand it and you know. You kind of can see where it's going and you'll get there before the puck does Wayne Gretzky style. So you've gotten popular. You've gotten success. You've gotten some money in a bunch of all the trappings, right?

I would say that I'm impressed with your how you deal with the people you work with. And I know because we've talked about it. That you are generous you're basically respectful you know within reason and you handle the stress well i'll say that okay um from my point of view yeah schultz prepared no blocks he said you can use my studio but i'm not going to prepare yeah so we have to we have to tease out his blocks so my question is how was there an adjustment to six any sort of success or do you think it's just in your you have a high pretty high threshold for stress and questions and yeah i probably have

pretty high threshold for stress and those types of things i think i think success is fantastic like like and i'm not saying anything anybody else hasn't said but i think a lot of people get like bothered by success like people stopping you in the street and that kind of stuff but i read this excerpt in uh in norm's book when he was like, do you know how lucky my life has been? Every person that I've met is happy on their best behavior, excited. Once you become a certain amount of success where people are stopping you in the street and they're stopping you because they love what you do. Yeah. And not because you play a character in a movie that has nothing to do with you. Like you people. Exactly. I did not storm the capital was not yeah i did not do that yeah the vaccine does not make you gay yeah great yeah yeah okay and i can

clip that yeah yeah just just make sure we put that out there great but like you know being appreciated for your comedy i you know someone comes up i'm a big fan it's awesome and they're on their best i don't know behaviors no you're right mark norman told me a thing letterman said one time which is i'm i'm really thankful i'm my life is awful i'm that was on the podcast let him say that yeah yeah yeah yeah letterman said i'm thankful that i'm famous because i'm too sensitive for normal life oh which I'm actually pissed he didn't say on the podcast. That's a bar. But it's a great, yeah, it really is. It's like,

he got insulated from like real world existence. Yeah. And that is the nice part is like you do get sort of ushered ahead. But not even ushered ahead. It's more like,

the best part about fame for me is that people trust your kindness. And I grew up in a place where- Trust your kindness. Yes. What do you mean? So, I'm from New York. i'm born and raised in new york when somebody is nice to me that i don't know i assume they want something from me right hey how you doing man oh i love your outfit hey do you got some time for greenpeace so i could tell you about every time someone is nice to me they want you to sign a petition your money yeah right yeah my like interactions with people real quick yo my man you like hip-hop go ahead yeah yeah yeah they still selling cds bro oh that's so funny

but for real they want some kind of money yeah so now i associate kindness with someone trying to extract this resource from me so i'm on the defense with kindness right yeah but i'm also hesitant in being kind and i like being kind i prefer it I like going to Canada for that reason they're like they're more used to it they want to help one another it's probably the weather or something like that well how did you did you so are you faking your New York attitude yeah being mean

yeah I think everybody here does it's a defense mechanism because if you actually get to know New Yorkers they can't wait to fucking help you they can't they'll walk you to the place you need to go if you're lost but they'll act like it's a pain in the ass. Yeah. They're fucking, man, I got you. Don't worry. Fuck, where you gotta go? Come on, bro. But the great thing about that

is when you're lost, I know you're not trying to take advantage of me. You're vulnerable. If you're vulnerable, a New Yorker's gonna help you. If there's a domestic dispute, five people are gonna come step in on that. You know what I mean? It is always you see New Yorkers help. Now, granted, there's just a lot of people in a small amount of space but it's like we are nice sweet people we just got to trust that the situation isn't gonna i always said the new york like misanthrope

attitude it's like there's you came to the most crowded place in the world you don't hate people yeah it's also like i think new york attracts those people from other places so if like you're a misanthrope in maine you're like, I know where to go. Exactly. So now we get a lot of people here that are kind of like capping with their energy. Yes. Because they feel like that's how you exist here in New York. Where New York is a very inviting place.

It just doesn't feel like it. You just got to get past that first barrier. It acts mean, but it's not. It's like a hard exterior, but like gooey. It's how men become friends. That's how I always looked at it. Insults and abuse. Every person that I've become best friends with, both of us, when we first met each other,

were like, I don't fuck with that guy. Yeah. Dude, I've never become best friends with a dude that the second we met, it was awesome. We had everything in common. There has to be a little posturing. Yeah. And then there's some respect. It's a buddy cop movie

yo like you fucking fucking nice fucking shirt sipping on a steak out and then slowly you just become friends yeah this guy's not that bad yeah you know what i learned something so that's what it is i think when you have a little bit of level of success or fame you get to be nice to somebody and they never think that they that you want anything from them and i love that because i think that is my natural disposition i enjoy being but i also think that reads on camera in that you're good looking but it's not i don't i don't think guys resent you for it because you do seem like a decent guy so you you just like your situation that your image allows me to be closer to myself with people which is i like to be nice i like to

be kind i like to make them feel comfortable in that moment like do you have a brother or sister little brother oh that's good what's how old is he he's uh 33 is he living in the city yeah and how often you see him uh once a week usually great yeah or once every two weeks with your parents once a week definitely with my parents and then sometimes we'll go grab some food maybe every couple weeks and your parents are like nice yeah regular people yeah they're my parents are the best what are they like ballroom dancers or something yeah my parents own a ballroom dance studio great yeah my dad was like he's a little Forrest Gump-y in that way like he used to like produce the news and shit like down in Baltimore and then New York like he did the

first ever story on hip-hop like he did there's like these weird things like happen in his life that he's like attached to yeah he used to interview Ali all the time he has these like old footage of him shadowboxing with fucking Muhammad Ali was he on camera or he was producing yeah he was uh sometimes he would be on camera when he was doing it in his Baltimore days. And then back in New York, he was producing like, I mean, like Ali told him he was going to knock out Foreman.

Great. Like all these like random things have happened in his life. And Ali didn't tell anyone. He was very tight lipped about it. He was going into that fight. Like, I don't think I got it. They call him

the louisville tight lip yes because he didn't see he didn't like to talk before fights so he made an exception uh schultz dad got the scoop he really did get the scoop on that one but yeah they were great so yeah you fought okay so why so why do you be i mean if comedy is from pain and all that shit i don't subscribe to that okay i don't think that it's like a convenient thing to use when you have pain but i think i don't think that's the only way to become a comedian like we went through this time where it's like if you weren't molested you're not a real comedian yeah and it's like there's a i think someone had a joke about this melanie maybe it was just like there's a lot of people molested that aren't funny at all it ain't funny yeah most people yes yes like how many catholic

comedians are there right like i mean the catholic church should be just i mean it should be hilarious there should be a cover to get into church should be a two drink minimum it's really just one sip minimum it's just i guess it's me but if you're at me there's women you're also catholic yeah but not like really not really you're like an ayahuasca catholic yeah i'm an iowa yeah and gaffigan has like seven kids so i don't think he was molested because i think if you were you wouldn't put that many kids out there in the world i don't get your logic but i'm gonna support if something happened to you as a kid you traumatized around sex yeah i mean you're just increasing the numbers sure but maybe it's like you just gotta you gotta fuck that's the only language you understand he is irish i mean you know what i mean my i'm one

of ten so you're telling talking to somebody who's a result yeah i'm living the dream okay so just like parents are my dad is the most supportive ever comes every basketball game like his dad was not that so his goal was to be the opposite okay and had me late had me at 40 my brother 45 so lived a lot of life you know chronically depressed like really working through that dad was yeah both of my parents a lot of depression and beyond the podcast i'm kidding honestly it would be great he's right now he has kind of like uh it's called uh covid go ahead basically like a mild cognitive uh disorder which is could lead into alzheimer's it's kind of staying where it is but basically his short-term memory's gone oh shit so it makes it a little bit tricky yeah um

okay but just the best like an absolute angel supportive as hell like really was not going to be his father but also had kids late where like he was not going to be his father, but also had kids late where like he dealt with a lot of his shit before then. Yeah. So he's coming into this point in his life where he's like, I know the things that I'm insecure about. I know things that can be better. I know things that make me feel good.

Like just trying to help people constantly. Also a very curious guy. I think I get all my like question asking from him. Anytime I saw him interact with people it was like they were the most interesting person that they've ever met yeah he's like a news producer literally yeah like so yeah like it could be the guy bringing water to the table and my dad be like how do you carry all that yeah and the guy thinks that he's busting balls at first and then he goes no seriously aren't your arms tired and then there'll be a five ten minute

conversation about oh yeah sometimes well yeah everybody's got like everybody wants to be asked and not even an egotistical way they just have like bits oh they have a hunk about oh yeah and they never get to share it no of course not also there's a lot of people who and i'm sure you probably went through this was like 10 kids in your family like how much time do you have directly with your parents it's like where they would they would uh half an hour a week on sundays okay that was with the pre neil uh-huh no but like but for real it's like there's this there's a situation where like they just fucking listen to me i think that's why i'm a comic like they valued what i had to say yeah and they my father just valued humor and he was my hero and I just

wanted to make him laugh. So I think we oftentimes gravitate towards the things, at least as men, gravitate to the things that our parents value because we just want that validation. So if your dad's a cop, then you're going to be a fucking security guard at your elementary school and all these things. He's like, what can dad, what will dad appreciate? And I remember being a kid, I was telling you this before, I listened to Eddie Murphyphy delirious on cassette with him and from there it was over it was like oh eddie makes my dad laugh like that i love my dad more than anything i want to make him laugh like that okay when did you start doing stand-up i think it was like 23 or something like that and then how long before anyone cared oh man i mean i i got some things quick no one cares but they care does

that make sense it was probably like the the mtv stuff wasn't stand-up like nobody cared about the stand-up until they started put on youtube got it that's when that's when people are like well i will say your success is based on being denied yeah but and how did you deal with like the sort of low level ongoing and not humiliation but it's like you're just low status in this this is okay i there was like two ways i looked at it i would kind of like build like self-esteem hacks so one i felt like i needed one solid show a month meaning i had a show that i had the chance to do well at that could keep me afloat so if if there's two people in an audience which is very common when you're starring comedy whether you did well or not you don't really know but if there's 15 people okay now i have a chance to see if i could do okay so i think i needed one

and then what i would do is when i would start to get down i would like remember if i've made any improvement from the last month so for example when i got on stage could i go on stage with and just open up on a joke no anything else like i didn't need to warm them up i didn't need to talk to them i didn't reset the room could i just go here's the joke judge the joke and if i couldn't do that last month and i can this month i go all right cool okay i'm at least getting a little bit better because it's easy to get sucked into that vacuum of just this sucks i suck yeah i don't know what the fuck is going on. And then I started to like recognize patterns where like, if I hated my set for like a while, I,

if I was just plateauing and then it seemed like I was about to go down, a breakthrough was about to happen. So then when I would have that plateau that would start to dip even a little bit, I was like, Oh, it's going to happen soon. Just keep on pushing.

And the breakthrough is generally the crowd's response to you or me understanding them right you know what i mean like yeah i think if there's one advantage i had coming up it was like i was comfortable talking to people and i and i could assess energy well you know and like i think that would allow me to take my foot off the gas or pushing all the guy i think if there's certain comics that like they're not very social in their regular lives yeah so they don't really understand human emotion yeah so they don't know how far they can push yeah right so a lot of times they have to like encase the bits with like a very clear misdirect because it's like if i don't give them that i don't know if i'm comfortable in this scenario when where there's other people like a Patrice is

a perfect example it's like he practiced pushing buttons so much in life he knows when the rubber band snaps yeah you know so I think I had a lot of that coming up just antagonizing people and just being like a goofy friend that loved to you know know, rile people up. So I knew where an audience, I knew like the breadth of an audience. You know what I mean? I knew where the tension end is. Okay, I have to deliver now. I know how far I could push you, how long I could carry silence. So I kind of knew intangibles before I knew how to like structure

and put things together. Well, you like a street guy. Yeah, I'm from the streets. Yeah, you seem like it like like you'd go outside for nine hours yeah but actually yes that's how we hung out i know yeah it's like colin quinn's bit about like puerto ricans on this it's just like yeah that's you just seem like that it like reads on you like oh yeah i know this guy yeah i know this kind of guy like i hear this guy i walk past this guy yeah i can't believe

how long he sits outside yeah yeah um you should have a plastic chair on stage that should be like you come out with a plastic chair okay so your dips don't seem very big oh yeah yeah yeah i mean i would like i was really diligent about balancing because i grew up with parents that bowed depression so i knew like i saw my dad go swim every single day. And I was like, oh, he's not doing that because he likes the water. You know what I mean? He's doing that because he's cheating on my mom. Yeah, it's swimming.

And he has an excuse. It's swimming. That wet. No, but he's in there because he got to keep the mood up. You know what I mean? Like, so I saw that and like, even at like a young age, I was like, okay, I gotta, I gotta monitor this.

I can't let this get too far. Okay. It's funny. Cause nobody does. Nobody knows that. Yeah. I don't know anyone who's taken that lesson. It's all the shit that we all learn.

And you know, oh, you have to exercise and you have to do your regular tasks and sun. Yeah. I was doing sun before ice baths and shit i was doing sun like when i was a kid it'd be winters i'm like i don't think i was outside enough i'm gonna go find a place with sun and i'm just gonna sit in it and i know it sounds stupid and like holistic or whatever but kind of like help me and i knew that i couldn't operate at the highest level of stand-up or i

couldn't even get better at it unless this shit up here was good right and the more cool and calm i was up here the better that was on stage and the more in my head i was and the more kind of like crippled i was by maybe like anxiety or being depressed about something being just down in general the worse it was going to be on stage unless the stage becomes like the magical moment where you just get to vomit all that shit out and those sets are just you can't plan them you can't do anything but sometimes it's like you're at your limit you have nothing i remember specific sets where it's like i was like i'm fucking down this sucks and i just let it out on stage and there's something about the audience there's something

about those people there where they know it's real and authentic yeah and they're into it they're locked and there's a button you can push and it can't be recreated that is the crazy thing you could say verbatim the next night and i would try it's not the same you know when a joke you first start doing a joke it'll work for three weeks it works at 110 yeah and then it dips down to like 97 yeah i was talking to millennia one time i go i would love to get one of those bits on tv and he goes i did it his he did a conan set when he first started doing his law and order bit in like the first three weeks and it's i mean by the way the set's fucking crushing yeah and he doesn't dress his shitty jeans. And,

but he actually did the thing of like, he was able to capture that harness that a hundred percent. Yeah. And does your brother do it? Does your, was your brother aware of the sort of like, we got to keep an eye on this? No.

Or did your parents even say, is it truly just modeled behavior? Or did they say like, Hey, you know, you might from time to time, it might get a little foggy up here. No, I think my parents were like very open about a lot of stuff. Like I could share anything with my folks and it wasn't weird. Yeah. And they would also, you know what I mean?

Like my parents talked about depression and like kind of how it works. And when I was young, I didn't understand really what it was. Even like in high school, I would take my dad to the cellar because i thought if you're sad and then you laugh now you're happy yeah so we would just go when he would tell me he's kind of like down we would just go to the cellar you know what i mean like also my mom is old when she has me and older when she has my brother so how old was your mom my mom was 40 when she had my brother and i'm 39 so this is back in the day before my mom my mom was 40 when she had my brother and I'm 39. So this is back in the day before my mom. My mom had me when she was 40.

So you dealt with menopause. You know, what's funny is I've never I've gone like, was she on menopause? Like, bro, my mom had her period for two months once. It was like and it was like she was just wild. Like it was just a crazy situation. And I didn't understand what the fuck it was. I was like this lady hate me like what's going on how do you know she had her period for too much because my dad told me because i was like what's up with this lady my mom's a little wild my mom was she like like rotten she was like being an asshole so my dad was more the nurturer

and my mom was more like the provider. That's funny. So like my dad was there like emotionally and everything. Now, I don't want to take anything away from mom because I could tell my mom anything and like I felt no judgment at all. But she was a little bit more strict and it was her business. You should own a restaurant. Yeah. For real.

I've put multiple restaurants in the ground. So I don't know if I don't know. I'm saying like you should own like you're the kind of guys like i just picture you like the nurturer part of you like you're good can i get you anything i do do that maybe that's one of my blocks i like people to feel comfortable this episode is brought to you by better help if you want to live a more empowered life better help can get you there look i don't even know if better help likes the podcast, but I think they hear us talking about therapy so much on here that they're like, we have to advertise me and Schultz bring it up again.

Therapy. It ain't no bitch shit. It's for adult human beings who need a little bit of help. It's like, would you rather go to a mechanic or would you rather just figure out your car yourself? Because you've had a car a long time. You could probably, you're a sharp person. You can figure it out. No, take it to a mechanic unless you're like into cars or whatever, whatever. Don't get lost in the metaphor. I stand by therapy, done it a lot of my life, and it's excellent. Like I said, if you want to live a more empowered life, BetterHelp can get you there. Visit betterhelp.com slash Neil to get 10% off your first month.

B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash N-E-A-L. Do it. You need the help. You need help. I need help. Everybody needs help. Do it. Get some help. Bye. Whether you want to get more fit, be a better parent, or get more done at work, there is only one thing that will help, and that's better sleep. With Miracle-Made Sheets, you can tap into the power of self-cooling temperature regulation, which has been shown to improve sleep quality by up to 34%. I was in a good mood today, and I was like, why am I in such a good mood? And actually, they sent me these sheets eight days ago, and I started using them four days ago. And maybe it's a coincidence, guys, but I was in a good mood today.

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three-piece towel set and save over 40% off. And thank you, Miracle, for making this episode possible. Thanks, Miracle. You did it again, buddy. We got to get back to your mom. Sorry, go. I've said this so many. I've said it too many times. My mom's wild.

I drove my mom absolutely crazy. I had all the friends coming over to the crib. Like it was, she was there drinking all the two liters of Pepsipsi my mom would buy like six two liters of pepsi gone in a day my friend Carlos was running through the wall like there was just holes in the wall like this poor lady and then she got to go teach salsa lessons all night you know what I mean but in in my mind right I'm the ideal son I'm not robbing anybody i'm not like other friends joining a fucking gang and shit like i'm going i'm here safe doing my homework yeah why are you upset yeah what's wrong with you lady so did you like get into beefs or was it just kind of time

yeah yeah yeah and my dad kind of protected me because he was like your mom's kind of crazy so he gave me like a little shield so when she would be angry at me instead of me going i think my mom hates me i go i think i think my mom's crazy great and it was like a really great tool because that could really erode your confidence if you think one of your parents doesn't like you now i never thought my mom didn't love me my mom loved and she was like an amazing provider and always there if i ever went through anything but it took us even to like now to get on the same page and really like feel comfortable you know what i mean yeah i can't relate but i'm does she talk about like oh yeah like i think because i came in and i was like, I was kind of like a force. And then my dad was like, I'm not going to be the I'm not going to be my dad.

My dad when I'm not going to be my dad. I'm every it's all in with the kid. It's almost reversed. Right. So it's like a lot of times a woman has a child and then the husband is like, you're not necessary. My mom had the kid and then my dad was like, what does the kid want? Yeah. My mom worked first so my dad he

was working for nbc he could take six months off not paid but he could take six months off so i spent the first six months of my life with my dad while my mom was at nbc right yeah so so i think my mom told me that the other day i was like oh shit maybe that's why i'm so close your dad was a homemaker but i wonder if those six months you're supposed to be with the mom do you know what i mean yeah well no but that's interesting because it does hearing this there is like a softness to your masculinity okay you're a bro yeah but you're like a kind-hearted bro like you're not like you're not a dickhead no i'll watch a jimmy v speech and fucking let it rip yeah you know what i mean it's one it's the one speech it is one it is it is one it's not any speech

don't just go like pre-game at fucking virginia tech, so did you feel fucked up about not getting along with your mom or you were just like, eh, it's nothing personal. That's got nothing to do with me. My honest reflection on it, I'm sure that it has affected relationships. When you talk about relationships,

what's your arc been with that? Like, I'm assuming you had dumb values. Yeah, I married, yeah um you had dumb values at some point and then you get like slightly i never had i never had i think i probably went through times in my life where it was like i wanted you to like you're a girl i want you to like me right because then that means i'm likable so it was almost like a selfish version of it so if you didn't like me then i was like i would love to get you to like me because then i like me yeah you know what i mean it's almost like this rejection technique guys use with girls

like if you don't give them the attention then they're gonna want to fuck you so they can like themselves yeah because they don't like how they feel when they're rejected yes so i think there was probably some of that but in terms of like relationship it was always very important to me that like that we got along and enjoyed hanging you know i mean like i i remember like distinctly with my wife within the first few times of hanging out going like oh i really like this she really values what i have to say. And that makes me feel really good. I feel comfortable sharing with her. And I'm very sensitive to that shit.

Like if I feel like you don't care what I have to say, I can kind of shut down. Of course. I think rightly so. But there's some of these fucking, there's some sociopaths that just can go. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean?

We work with them. Yeah, yeah. People that can't read social signals and don't realize that like nobody cares yeah and it's this level of narcissism and we all have some of it don't get me wrong but like it there's a level of it where it doesn't matter what's going on around you doesn't matter how these people feel and i think that i'm very fortunate i think that's like psychosis i think you're just kind of born that way. But it's like, and I think that I'm very fortunate that I am very sensitive to how people feel around me.

And I think that that's like, I think that helps with relationships. It also helps with just like, you know, work. And like, I want people to enjoy this. There are people that go, this is the dream and it's my dream and you all serve this dream and I don't care what you have to do in your life. Shut that up. Yeah.

And Kanye is apparently one of these guys. You don't, you're disagreeing with, you're fired. You're fired. And it's like that level of narcissism

really helps someone become successful. I've seen it a dozen times. I mean i it's almost exclusively hates you yeah that part of you hire a food tester in case someone's poison trying to poison you exactly exactly those there are those people that there's remember you were just saying right how like you're not aware of those social cues they're so numb to it they don't know that everyone around them resents them yeah i'm so sensitive to it that I want us all to enjoy this.

But is it a democracy? That's the question. Right. The difficult part is this kind of has to be this idea I have. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. When I say it's not a democracy, it means it's not everybody has an equal say. There are people that have more say because they're more of an expert agreed you know what i'm saying right but

it's let's say the idea let's say we're designing this studio okay designing redesigning the studio right tell me the process the best idea wins so we sit down everyone's pitching me mark dove miles uh akash alex everybody's going okay what are the themes that we want to do what is in our designer nick who's fucking genius he asked us all these great questions what is what do you see the show as in five years what do you see it in 10 years what is the real purpose of this show like he had us thinking about the studio in ways that weren't so simple yeah and the ethos for me was just like, it needs to be a TV show. Yeah. It needs to be TV.

Like you have to look at it and think you're just watching TV. Yeah. So what makes a podcast studio feel like a podcast? The chairs are on the wall. There's no separation. What makes an ESPN show feel like a studio or a real show is the desk and depth. And yeah. Right.

So all these little things. Right. But like when it comes to the ideas, you know, Mark had had these great ideas, and it's like, okay, that idea is better than every idea. That wins. So for me, it's not democracy, meaning every idea gets voted the same, but the best idea wins. I believe in this as an ethos, and you've set up a system where I bet, obviously, some

shit, I'm sure you're just like no all the time yeah yeah but that's just because i'm not convinced but you also but i like put it this way you know it's like for me to go no i'm trying to think of a no actually it's very rare i say no if you're your youtube special and you were like and someone's you i saw the credits there's four at five editors yeah so you guys are all i would guess the process was you'd all gangbang you'd all take a sequence or you'd take you'd go let me try that area or let me try that and then eventually you would go i'm not comfortable putting that out yes that's the the the reason i'm i'm with you in theory yep the thing i'm

thinking about and i've been talking about a bunch on these podcasts, is when we did Half-Baked, we didn't get it to go our way. We didn't demand what we needed, and the movie wasn't what we wanted, and Dave got punished, and I got punished. After that, you're a little less... What do you guys think so when we do this the thing i love about this like creating all our own stuff is that we have final say yeah there's got to be some trust though like if you're working on the project the trust is earned obviously you know like like shifty the guy who did the the bulk of the edit right yeah i mean right there you got to trust him his name shifty you got to do it but

the kid's fucking 19 years old when he's doing it yeah and he absolutely fucking murdered it but we edited it was one minute per day we sat down for a whole day me shifty and mark alex did a preliminary edit of it then me shifty mark sat at one minute per day one minute per day it was insane but shifty gets a crass course in editing for a stand-up special. You know, like, even the way we approach it, before we start the edit, we're like, okay, what do we want this to feel like? How can this, what is like comedy but it's not comedy? So we're watching horror. And we're like, tension release.

Okay, what are the shots in horror? Okay, oh, they do these kind of like push-ins. And then when he breaks the tension, it can pop out. And it's like, ooh, that's a good idea for stand-upup we can kind of push in towards the punch line without telegraphing and then on that break release show the crowd show everybody having kind of fun like what are the things that can inspire us but in terms of the ideas for the edit they'll pitch me something they'll show it to me i might have to go now i want to see it this other way but if i look at the other way and there's better i know what happens to me a lot of times is they won't even show me the way I want.

I'm like, just show me. Yeah, yeah. I need to see it. I'm asking you. I'm sorry. I have to jump out of the plane. Yeah. It's all you.

Show it to me. Yeah. Yes. I'm the one who's going to get judged for this, good or bad. Yeah. So, like, show me this. And people still sulk, which is incredibly aggravating. But why would they think that they know stand-up better than you?

Schultz? I don't know. I'll be honest. It happens to me all the time. The beautiful thing about going into that was Mark's a stand-up. He's fucking hilarious. Yeah. And he's also like me in that he's a perfectionist about shit.

So I have somebody in the edit when I wasn't there, like the preliminary parts, I have somebody going, I wouldn't want that out like that. When you have just an editor who's doing a Marvel movie one day and then a stand-up special the next day, they don't know what it's like for a- To bomb. Yeah.

And how awful it feels. And also they might look at it be like i thought it was kind of funny you know kind of funny yeah no exactly like no there's no don't squint don't raise your voice yeah don't go up no we're done yeah yeah yeah uh the biggest lesson i learned with this is to be honest and it's something kind of happened organically but then when i heard the feedback from it i i never wanted to be one of those people that kind of happened organically but then when i heard the feedback from it i i never wanted to be one of those people that kind of leads in that narcissistic way where they're not worrying about everybody else's dreams and what they care about like i didn't like that but most

importantly like those people take credit for everything and like i've never once heard like kanye go oh yeah it's funny it's yeah you're absolutely right like kind of a good example of like you he you didn't know he had producers on every album after a second album so like and i'm not saying that he's not and he just never brought it up and he's fucking excellent it's one of my favorite hip-hop artists of all time yeah um but like he didn't do it by himself so it's so easy to give credit i feel i feel guilty not giving credit because i know that those people contributed right i say jimmy carr this is his idea i say it just about every episode because i don't i feel wrong it's a waste of time it's a it's a waste of the audience's time

i can't not waste it i have to tell it and maybe it's because like because i've been i've been behind the scene whatever yeah mate whatever the reasoning is i can't uh i more or less have to do it now on the flip side i've done the thing where someone pitched me an idea and within three days i thought it was mine my wife my wife said i do that with jokes like once i manipulate the story and the joke that becomes what really happens. Yeah. No, yeah, it's crazy person shit. Today's episode is sponsored by Honey,

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If you don't already have Honey, you could be straight up missing out. And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this show. Get PayPal Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash neil. That's joinhoney.com slash neil that's joinhoney.com slash neil j-o-i-n-h-o-n-e-y dot c-o-m slash n-e-a-l joinhoney.com slash neil it's a good thing it's a good thing to have i care about you so much yeah yeah we are crazy all right so tell me about your wife your relationship with your wife and how it's different than the other ones you've had i mean you don't not without without insulting

your wife in any way or divulging anything no i mean about okay listen there's baseline things that i think that you need in a relationship like you need just to think that person's absolutely stunningly beautiful like all these things are yes of course but the difference really came is like do i want to share with this person maybe that's why i'm single because no one thinks i'm beautiful oh no i didn't say they have to think we're beautiful oh i got confused yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah they just got like your blocks oh you gotta leave with the block yeah i did now i do but but yeah i just i just love sharing with her and i love when she shared like i really liked her opinions about things i like that yeah i like i like her drive i like her focus

well that's the funny thing about male female relationships is women spend a lot of time on their looks and it's important but not after the second date we know what you look like like literally yeah it comes down to like hey if i hit the ball over there you're gonna hit it back yeah yeah i don't care if you are that if you if your eyeliner is perfect yeah i don't give a fuck we gotta sit here and talk for 60 years yeah yeah yeah yeah and like look good please you gotta be hot you gotta be hot i know this is you gotta be because i think there's a some this girl did this fucking hilarious thing on there's this uh she did a thing about guys on podcasts talking about settling down and she put this like fake

beard on and she's just like yo you know what like and she's doing the guy accent she's like you know what it's like my wife ain't the hottest but you know i realized that like we got a lot in common you know what i mean and like and she just keeps on doing this rant and you look at podcasts and there are a lot of guys that go on it was just like i just found one to like she could lift things too and it's like when you when you have a ranch you know hey you need to lift a lot of guys that go on it was just like i just found one to like she could lift things too and it's like when you when you have a ranch you know hey you need a lot yeah heavy shit exactly no beauty of course like but most people are not beautiful you know what i mean so it's hard you gotta find a beautiful one no but that hasn't been with leo that's tricky it's not possible it's not gonna it's not gonna happen you gotta go to to happen. You got to go to Europe or the Far East. He goes to Israel.

You're right. He got the first draft pick. He's there before Nick Saban. I said to you, I think that if you're a hot woman, you have to check in with Leo. Oh, for sure. Like, hello, I'm hot. Yeah. People said I had to come.

He's immigration. He's Ellis Island. They need to make another island. Yeah, he's Ellis Island for the hottest women on earth that's um the um your grandmother passed through here yeah in 2023 she was great um okay do you okay so the time that we spend together do we want to hang out do we want to talk do we have fun do i love making her happy i yes like this sounds like almost like some simp shit but i don't care it's like it is a real joy for me to make her happy and i think that's important yeah

like that is yes if you're doing it kind of like reluctantly because you got to keep this thing going like but if actually making that person happy makes you feel great that's a sustainable thing did you feel that way with every woman you dated because i because i i had a thing one time where a woman was like i want you to court me and i want to go places and i was like it's kind of not what i do i can get the tickets i can do the thing i'll go to the zoo you think i've never been to a zoo yeah yeah um i scream freedom because i'm vegan um i go and because i'm vegan um i go and i protest uh somebody's like well maybe you didn't want to do it for it's like i don't do

it so the idea of making someone else happy in ways that make me unhappy or make me kind of feel shut down yeah or like i'm on duty yeah like can't be that yeah you got to have the mutual things yeah you know and like it doesn't have to be your first passion you know but like like for example my wife is a big foodie she loves going to restaurants and she loves eating the great food it just so happens that great food tastes delicious and i can get on board with that yeah i grew up going to diners my whole life i'm a diner but now you go now that you go to nice restaurants, it takes a long time. To get the food? Can we say that?

To get the food? Can we say that it's a bit of an ordeal? It better be, Neil. Neil, it better be a fucking ordeal. For these prices, I need the ordeal. Don't have the burger ready. I need... You don't want something dipped in hot water?

Thrown out on your plate? You know what it's just flash fried and fucking fucking gone yeah well but i dated a woman whose brother was a chef and so we go to and it's like uh chefs with compliments yeah to the point where you're full yeah before the actual food gets there and you're like could you have can we take some of the shit i bought off the bill yeah because i didn't eat it yeah yeah uh do you find that's that was the only downside of like foodie world yeah to me yeah and you don't mind that no like i i yeah i like eating the good food it's cool like i'm in a place where we can afford it and it's not like a stress right and then it makes her really happy and she's really into it and she likes kind of like discovering the spot she likes yeah you know

it doesn't have to be some bougie spot it's just got to be a place that has really great food and she goes and does it so we like that we travel well together like that's the other thing she will plan everything i won't like i'm not gonna google a million different things like i'm not gonna find out where we're gonna stay so we really kind of like lock in in a lot of ways yeah and that i think is something you start to recognize almost like organically in the beginning and then as you reflect on it like your marriage like wow like this is a great companion to travel with because all the things i do not want to do she gets anxiety if it's not done right like i almost have to be like i one thing a day yeah yeah no i'm with you or it will be if i do more than one and then it becomes like we gotta be on the boat yeah yeah by 345 and

then yeah and you're stressed exactly so two thoughts one of them does she ever get a hotel room where you're like okay that's a little steep yeah probably do you voice it you eat really like i kind of like hold on to it in case i need to like point out something yeah yeah yeah yeah like i use it for like passive aggressive purposes like uh like uh like uh someone's gotta pay for the arm and gary yeah you know what i mean like someone's gotta pay for these trips to Columbia. You like, you weren't saying that when we was on that fucking private shuttle.

Exactly. Exactly. Where's the same energy from the, through the very dangerous neighborhood. You wouldn't yell on that. When we got the, when I got the bulletproof Mercedes to get from the fucking Egyptian airport, Morocco,

it's very important. Somebody, a friend of mine recently is in a relationship and she said that they got, her car got broken into. That's a good test. Like traveling's a test for a relationship. But if you fake a break-in, you could see, you know what I mean? Oh, he broke into it? No, a girl's car got broken into when she was her boyfriend

was visiting all their shit got and she said it was like a good test but i was thinking it'd be a good it could be like a business where we fake crimes and see how they react couples yes and then how'd she react she said they both were great they both handled it very well she's like it was a good sign that they can handle chaos well yes yeah or a setback or uh because you kind of become uh uh voltron well that does happen in a relationship and i love that right you become like a you're a thing this this fucking idea like don't get me wrong i love independence obviously everything we're doing is independent but like it's independent with a group you know and i think that with relationships codependency is good i i think that we we have this like western idea that like it should be the sole

individual journey you're the fucking hero and it's like no if you're building a family with somebody that becomes the group and there are things that you guys do together for one another you have roles and you support one another in those roles you learn how to fucking communicate with one another and that's not easy it is and you learn the things you do that drive people fucking crazy like i would do this thing that would drive my wife great the second we started to like get into a tiff i would go oh so you want to ruin a night like now in my mind in my mind i'm thinking i'm thinking you just checkmated her bro but in my mind i'm going i'm going i don't want to ruin a

night you must be one no i'm just saying there's two of us here and i know for me yeah that i don't want to ruin me yeah then i don't want that so that only leaves one conclusion seems like it's you right and then what i learned is that that's the worst thing to say ever because it's just putting all the blame yes yeah just putting all the blame on that person it's basically calling it's the equivalent of calling someone racist yeah yeah in a relationship yeah yeah like you once you call them right you can't go like not only am i not racist yeah you like she can't argue out you're racist how long did you do that for how many years probably wow yeah years and it's it's so much better also like talking about how you feel how something makes you feel instead of just like blaming somebody yeah like dude every couple should just go to therapy because what i wanted

i pitched it week three one time it yes smart she was like no i don't she she didn't like it because she had no mental health oh that's the thing once once if you've grown up in therapy or like your parents went there it just becomes like very normal there's no like a stigma to it yeah so the idea that now going too much will fuck shit up because then you live for the fight yeah and you also go you're you're observing yourself through the therapist exactly it's gonna be and yeah and so it's like we actually found we went it was we were going once a week and then my wife was like yo i think we need to chill on that because it's almost like every fight we're like logging let's

talk about this here instead of just like yo let's cope on with these things these skills that we have and actually really help but like learning the things that we do to one another and how that can make each other feel and why they feel that way based on the shit that they grew up with you're dating somebody's fucked up childhood yeah and they're dating your fucked up child yeah right and you don't even know the things that happen in your life and how it could make you react this way yeah you know so yeah learning that also you stop resenting that person they feel this way because somebody else did something to them if anyone yes everything is a like an involuntary reaction I don't want even that thing of like, so you want to ruin the night, huh? Like that's not, you have to deal with it, but it's not your fault.

Technically, it's this thing where we take even the bad parts of our personality. We have this like, that's me. Take it or leave it. And it's like, it's just what you've been doing. It doesn't mean that's exactly who you are. It's a bit that's bombing that you won't let go. Yeah. Like,

ah, no, it worked once. No, it was at, it was, it was, it was,

it was at the village lantern 2011. Late show. Swedish girls. exactly. They loved, I don't think they understand they must not understand what i said um but we do hold on to those those practices yeah we want to hold on to those behaviors and you don't have to change who you are but you got to understand why you feel

away i'm still learning why i feel away about certain things and that informs me about like like yeah i don't know like i get angry about something or like anxious about something before i know exactly how i feel about it often and then if i act on that without really understanding how i feel then you're not you're you're gonna be an advocate yeah yeah you're like we're starting to have a kid or we're trying to have a kid and i and like how are you what are you doing um you know just mostly um can we talk about oh god well people said it's not as much fun people said it's not as much somebody said it's not as much fun it's like feels a little bit like a responsibility oh dude yeah especially in the

beginning like when you first start it's the worst sex you ever have because it's just like yeah there's nothing sexual about it it's just like a horse you're a horse you're literally a horse yeah yeah yeah a hundred you'll put a you'll put a saddle on just to really drive it home easily you put a blanket and then a saddle on top of the way but yeah it's just yeah i didn't know this but like every girl's biggest fear is they're they're not gonna have a kid and every guy's biggest fear is they're gonna have a kid yeah so the fact that we're not afraid at have a kid. And every guy's biggest fear is... They're going to have a kid. Yeah. So the fact that we're not afraid at all about it

comes across as apathy. To them, who's terrified. Well, not only not afraid, kind of hoping between you and me. Right? Initially. Yeah. Right?

But then when you start trying, you're like, yeah, of course we got this. And you don't realize that that woman, her whole life is thinking, I might not be able to do this. She's heard every horror story. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Like she is terrified. It could, it could not be her. And so when you don't take it seriously, she's looking at that and she's going, oh, does he not care? Yeah. Because they don't realize how we go through life, which is I'm getting everyone pregnant. Everybody's getting pregnant. Ideally.

is i'm getting everyone pregnant everybody's getting pregnant ideally i did dude when i was a broke comedian i would like i would throw the condom in the fucking garbage and then i take it out the garbage be like i gotta flush this because that girl tried it yeah this because it happened to an nba player once in 1994 and now that's me sean kemp had it happen yeah multiple because he would never have sex without a car because he didn't i know him i know sean he's a good guy so just learning that kind of shit and then going oh i see why this is making you feel anxious yeah it was not my intention okay are there limits to your empathy that's all relationships are it's just learning how your partner interprets everything you do yes the better relationships are the ones where most of the things you do are interpreted well yes but this is what i was gonna

the are there limits to your empathy are there places where you're like this isn't my issue babe this is your issue i feel like i'm handling this yeah in kindly and and you're being crazy or irrational yeah in the moment their limit for my empathy is very low very low this i think a lot of people are shocked people pulled over right now because they can't believe the information you just dropped one yeah but uh but then after like reflecting on it or if it's a or if it's an argument disagreement we've had a few times then i've learned oh okay this is how she's interpreting this thing that i'm doing that might be an asshole thing or it might be like a perfectly fine thing but because she views life

through this lens because of things that she's went through it seems that much more yeah for her so is it on do you so my empathy becomes much much, but do you then go, this is fucking stupid that I have to do this. But in the moment. Yeah. But after a while, no, because like when you really, when you really care about somebody and you understand like what they're feeling is like is real based on the things that they've experienced in their life, you realize like, okay, how do I just communicate that in a different way?

That's all I'm trying to do is find the ways to communicate my frustration. Cause I got to get it out. I'm not at that level where I can just be like, okay, babe, I'll sit on it. So I got to find a way to get this thing out of my brain. Do you have a practice? Do you like, I got to go to the room and like, do you have a thing where you're like, I'll be right back? How do you do it?

How do you not like just jump at it the therapist once said like talk about how you feel so then for a while i just started saying i feel and then the shitty thing i wanted to say and and then the therapist had to tell me that's not how you feel you're just saying i feel in front of being an ass and also what did what did the puerto ricans have to do with it how did you turn this into a racist rant against puerto ricans yeah right why did i do that yeah no your wife was just late she was five minutes late but loud though yeah no you know what good bring the puerto rican yes and outside yes yes yes um yeah i thought we weren't going to talk bring the puerto rican yes and outside yes yes yes um yeah i thought

we weren't going to talk about the puerto ricans again um and yep and she's got loud rims um now now okay so do you how much so how much did you need to do a lot of improving in this relationship i'm sure but no like here's the thing we were very good that like we enjoyed our time together it was just finding a way to communicate those things that we unintentionally were bothering each other with and not letting that erode the good shit exactly that's the hard part and that and yeah it really just comes down to that like there's going to be the same exact things that you're you're going to argue about and how do you just find a way to communicate those things to one where you're going to argue about and how do you just find a way to communicate

those things to one where you're familiar with it you know what it actually is you know what i mean yeah are you a grudge holder no i forget about shit i believe i was i believe that i could see you getting like in an argument with your or not an an argument, just like a thing. Is she good about, she have a short memory? she does too. Yeah. It's like, we're lucky in that regard.

Like I literally forget the things that we have blowups about. And I'm like, don't remind me. Like, I don't want to even know about it. Yeah. I don't want to now in terms of grudges and other things. No,

as long as I get it out, we have the talk and it's out of my system. Yeah. But if I don't let it out of my system, you know, like in business or that kind of shit like that if i don't if it never gets out you know it's just we're taking it with us it's some yeah some jordan shit you know what i mean like like it became personal yeah i live by it for better and for worse like it's great motivation

of course yeah try to answer this honestly you can sure has your wife improved in the relationship i mean yeah her capacity to like her capacity to like reflect and and change and organize she's like the emotional stability in our relationship and i probably didn't realize this until like maybe recently but like her, she's, you know how like Scottie Pippen could like emotionally manage the players. And that's how he kept everybody. You know what I mean? He like,

he would stop these two guys from almost wanting to fucking, you know, tear each other's heads off or whatever. It's just like, cause he understood what each person kind of needed. So like my wife's just kind of like the emotional stabilizer. I feel like the kind of personalities we have that's who the woman is that's the likely the likeliest successful relationship would be

off the chart high emotional iq they don't have to disappear but they just have to be like steadier than we are yeah which you know some women are some women aren't that's the thing and it's all it's that's a harder thing because you have to develop that like that takes resilience like my wife and it also takes a level to me from the outside and not having never been a woman although if this gofundme works out there's this idea now that if you're uh if you are that then you're abandoning some feminine right that you have to complain not even complain like don't make yourself small it's like anti-feminist or whatever again that's maybe this is stupid i don't think it's making yourself small. I think what it is.

I agree. Yeah. I think you're like the point guard in a way. Like her ability to understand what's going on. For example, I have a big show. I'm going to be on this level of anxiety. You know, okay. So she's filtering the things that I'm saying and doing through that lens

and understanding, oh, maybe I need space. And not taking the bait. Maybe I need, exactly. When you're repeatedly saying, I guess you want to ruin our breakfast. I guess you want to ruin lunch. I guess you want to ruin. There's limits, Neil. Yeah.

There's limits. But like just understanding like how she's basically emotionally controlling what's going on. Huge, like huge value i think the point i was trying to make was like that's what like my mom had to do my mom who's 90 meaning like my dad was a fucking terrorist yeah and my mom just had to be like huh you know what the terrorists well terrorism what are you gonna do we live in israel yeah yeah like you to do it yeah like and i'm not saying that i'm saying like we're both work my dad my dad's generation did nothing to get exactly better whereas i'm working

on it i make i'll tell you right now i'm not i'm crazy a little bit yeah so yeah i just need you to if you can help it i don't i don't want you to live it's a quote from a movie i don't want you to go through life with the sound off yeah you know what i mean like yeah like you don't want you to live, it's a quote from a movie, I don't want you to go through life with the sound off. You know what I mean? You don't have to live half a life to be with me. I'm just saying, if you're crazy, it's going to be hard for me not to take the bait. Yeah, I think that back in the day, that was the relationship that a lot of women had to deal with. It's just from stories from my grandparents.

My grandma was this awesome, fun woman. My dad was this fucking curmudgeon yeah and like she just kind of like put up with it because that's kind of like what you had to do you have fucking kids or whatever yeah and now i think that like you got to earn that because women know that they could go out there and they could meet tons of different people right so it's like i think you have to earn someone who's willing to to rock with you through whatever you're going through. And you got to do the same thing for them.

You know what I mean? Yes. My wife went to business school, right? She works, I don't know if I could, she works with the biggest fucking tech company in the world. She's got her own fucking life, you know? Yeah. So it's like, to have all that, to be that level successful and still go, hey, we're building something here and we

both need to find ways to support each other when we can. Like that has to be earned. I got to be there for her too. Yeah. I got to be that support for her as well. And I got to help her in those difficult situations. And maybe that's not like her job, like it is maybe for me, but it's life. To hear you talk about it it's the

first time i've thought of it as like an emotional project that you're both working on that's not done beautiful that that that's all it is that is never going to be done and how close can we get to like really yeah figuring you know how each other you know there's we there's like weird times like with my wife we're like i don't have to say a thing we could be talking about the dumbest shit but i don't even have to say what i'm thinking and i'll just be like what am i thinking uh we should do tonight and then she'll say it and i think that's just like a synergy right it's just like you're on the same page you both know what you want she's a witch she's a witch she she might be a fucking she's i think we got

to drown yeah there's only one way to find out dude there's one near the east river it'd be a real waste of the east river pick a side to not drown her um no but it is like an emotional project that's never done and you have to find someone that you want to do it with yes that you genuinely have fun and i believe in your marriage. Yeah. Oh, if you, if that makes sense, like sweet from the outside in, not even like you're saying all the right stuff. Yeah.

Yeah. But like knowing you before and like, yeah, you're not, there's no qualifying words. There's no like, yeah, there's no,

like, you know, I found the right, there's no, I'm saying that it's difficult. Like, I'm hoping I'm saying that there are things you got to work through like this is not this oh it's perfect and everything it doesn't sound that difficult honestly but but there are difficult times yeah do you know what

i mean like uh the idea that approaching difficulty i think a lot of time people have this like romantic uh perception of a relationship where it's just like oh it just goes perfectly every single day and nothing goes wrong. And then when something does go wrong, they're like, oh, I guess maybe this wasn't right. And it's like, no, things are going to go wrong. And how you handle those things that go wrong isn't going to define the relationship. That is a guarantee.

Fucked up shit going to happen. That's why our crime company Talk to me. We create fucked up shit for you guys to go through yeah and then you have to react early and then bond over the trauma it's like an escape room but we come to you and do you yeah like it but it sounds overall very positive but but you're i love being married but it is also like you're on a stakeout with somebody for uh ever isn't that fire yeah but

it's hard but it's not like easy especially if you you're more social than i am i think so like just the idea of having fucking some goon around all the time i look goon i love you maybe maybe you don't want maybe you don't want someone that's going to be maybe you don't want that social aspect to be as prevalent a relationship maybe it's the companionship and somebody that's really just kind of like right in there for you but they have their own thing like that's kind of what i imagine for you in a relationship it's somebody that really has their own thing separate from you and you're almost trying to like pull them away from that thing i think that might work for you. Like they have their focus and their light and their thing that they're really into.

They really love you and they're letting you do your thing and they're supportive of you during their thing, but they also just love their thing. And you're almost like, Hey, let's go get some dinner or something like that. You're doing your thing so much. I'm trying to think of the women I've dated that were like super successful and and not in entertainment that also really helps private instagram can't help you my you know my threshold you gotta have a million followers for me to even for me to even consider it to take this to the next level um no i that thing of i don't know i don't like this idea of her being like preoccupied me being

like it might work psychologically in a bad way but but in a bad way but maybe you need that maybe whatever happened to you in your life a dangerous game where it's like you need to fuck with yourself you need to give yourself a rabbit to chase yeah maybe that's what you're used to you're one of ten. I know. I agree. Yeah. I mean, there is that thing of like, I've dated so many different like types. So it's, and none of them work. So you just go like, I don't know what, what lesson to learn from these things.

Well, the lesson is that you still want companionship. Sometimes I do. And sometimes I'm like if i don't have it i i'm not gonna die thinking my life was not fully lived if i die uh tomorrow of course edit this podcast like you think i would have wanted it but uh don't show it to um it like i wouldn't think that I had half a life because I didn't meet a person to spend it with. But there was that impression of like,

you complete me, which is like, no one fucking, I complete me and somebody else can compliment it, but I'm not. Yeah, two people that are fine being alone coming together is really awesome. Yeah. That's beautiful. And then building something together, even though they were fine awesome. Yeah. That's beautiful. And then building something together, even though they were fine alone.

Yeah. It's just got to be, it's one plus one equals three. It's got to be better than. Yes. Or it's got to be two point something. Desperation is always going to be disaster. One plus one in that case equals negative eight. Yeah.

It goes down. Yeah. Right. Yes. Yeah. There was some dude who said this on Instagram. He was like asking all these like billionaires like what's the number one decision you made in your life

like what's the most important thing and he's at every single one of them said uh the woman that they married because they can either take you up motivate you push you or they can tear everything down yeah so it's a huge huge decision but i think we do want it at the end of the day i think it's really tricky you know i think that i think right now yeah we're in like a time of adjustment right now especially with relationships it's like the the online dating thing really sent everything for a loop like you know i'm sure you've seen like the manosphere blow up what's going on there's a kind of a lot of frustration i think with younger well you're not profiting from that in any way shape or form yeah they hate me actually the master uh but it's like

yeah i just think it's kind of an interesting thing that's happened because when online dating first came out my friends who are not in entertainment their sex lives were crazier than mine. Cause it was like, you're a swipe away and girls could have sex with guys anonymously, not even tell their friends. Like if it didn't go well, they'd be like, all right,

I'm not carrying that one. Like, it was like everybody was traveling, but they were in their city. Yeah. Right. So it was connecting all these people crazy. And then,

so guys kind of really took advantage of it. And I think girls kind of felt away. And then now I think what's starting to happen is that like i think girls before if you want to fuck a celebrity and an athlete or you know a singer you had to be shameless bro yeah it was hard you had to go to the hotel you had to go you had to like embarrass yourself or really risk embarrassing no high quality woman is gonna go knock on a fucking hotel room door yeah hoping like no woman went to fucking college you know what i mean like now you know what all it takes now hi and fucking here comes yeah so it's that's one of those things i think has set the game for loop so first the guys are going crazy they're going meat market fucking everything right then all these girls like this sucks they're just like using us and nobody wants to take me seriously

and every guy's looking for something a little bit better because they're one swipe away then all of a sudden with social media the girls are realizing that every nba player can dm them and they're like well if i'm just gonna get meat marketed i might as well have the best meat yeah Then all of a sudden with social media, the girls are realizing that every NBA player can DM them. And they're like, well, if I'm just going to get meat marketed, I might as well have the best meat. Because all the guys, all the most famous people are in the DMs. It's all of them. So they're going, okay, well, I might as well get meat marketed over here. So now the regular dudes were getting all the pussy.

Ain't getting pussy no more. Because they're competing with NBA players. So now they're frustrated right and i understand that frustration you're like yo why am i not getting any love but it's social media created that proximity now you don't got to be a shameless chick just showing up to the hotel you're a girl that's got a great job you're a girl that's in college you know what i mean you're gonna do anything and you have access to any fucking celebrity that you want that's gonna shake the game up a little bit and i think what will eventually happen in the next couple years is when we'll start going oof i don't want to be kind of ran through by all these nba players and celebrities yeah yeah not even a laker girl yeah you know what i mean like the second team

in la exactly oof so yeah i'll be fucking soccer player soon you fucking clever you might as well fuck someone from the la galaxy you get fucked by a guy who got a better ass than you oh so so i think what will happen is that they go i think they'll go the women will start going to i don't really like engaging with people in this way at all and i'm going to kind of shut it down a little bit i think that just takes a few years to sort out like the only fans thing will kind of calm down i think there'll be a little bit more shame you know maybe put on that yeah or not yeah i mean that's the thing maybe maybe not i i keep thinking that there will be you can go broke thinking people are going to get reasonable yo you're right about that 100 i just wonder i thinking people are going to get reasonable. Yo, you're right about that 100%.

I just wonder, I think what's going to happen is like those girls are going to realize at a certain age that they probably want to settle down. And I think there's a lot of girls that want to settle down but decided to do these things. And they're also going to be out of practice on how to even be like a human being. Yeah.

And I think that once they're in their 30s, they're going to reflect and go, I really wish I didn't like show my pussy all over the Internet because like it was really hard for me to get a guy who wanted to like settle down and like marry me. And they felt really embarrassed about that. And like, I really wish I didn't do that. And I think the next generation of girls coming up are going to reject that and go, oh, I don't want that at all because that's going to limit my ability to have like a real meaningful relationship with somebody. But it's so much money, brother, making half a million a month. a month like yeah it's i get why you want to do that yeah but there is there's a reason why there's like porn stars all end up in regretting it yeah like tattoos basically

doing porn is like a tattoo but everyone has everyone has it but you you know what i mean like um uh all right final question yeah if there's a schultz there's a biopic about you yeah who plays you and what's the story arc and what who are you at the beginning and who are you at the end? Well, you know who I think should play you is Count Chocula. But we put white face because I've always said Schultz looks like a sexy Count Chocula. Okay. Yes, that'd be great. Maybe like the I don't know who plays me but maybe the arc is like my pops has this like really tough

time growing up and doesn't really have the father figure he wants and then becomes like the ideal father figure and then god willing hopefully i have some kids and I get to pass that on and he broke the chain. That would be cool. The, your son. Meaning like my dad fathered me in a way that I wanted to father. Okay. You, you would say that the chain maybe is broken. But I got to prove it.

Right. I got to prove what he did is right by treating my children in the same way that he treated me. And having that like curiosity and love and affection and dedication i gotta do that and then if i do that now my dad actually really did change something right you know oftentimes it's just like history repeats itself you know hurt people hurt people etc and he could have done that but then he didn't so that to me would be like a kind of cool story arc and uh that's not really a guess about me more about him but sometimes it's easier to think about things for other people you know

you gotta you don't need a movie about you you gotta you got several podcasts is it isn't it cooler to see it about i don't i don't know you relate to this i think also it's like it doesn't i know you did your piece about you you've've done things about you, but you've also worked on things with other people. Like, I don't know. It doesn't always need to be about you personally. You know? Oh,

I like, I like helping someone else like build a thing, do that. And then go like this. You're like, yeah, do that. And they're like,

okay, it's a great quality. Yeah. But I, but I don't, but that's, yeah, this is like a, that would be one of those movies where people like it, do that they're like okay it's a great quality yeah yeah but i but i don't but that's yeah this

is like uh that would be one of those movies where people like it but they feel ripped off your movie why what do they like i thought it was fucking about schultz it's every scene's fucking dad yeah i'll get the car yeah oh let me go you know what i mean yeah yeah that implies people going to the movie theater yeah um which is not happening i'm sure it would stream i don't know like you know what i mean i don't know certain things a marvel movie yeah marvel you could go it's got to be it's got to be worth the the putting on clothes and getting a babysitter yeah i mean like it's got to be like top gun was worth it avatar i still haven't seen it oh you, you got to see Top Gun. I don't want to see Avatar.

I made that mistake once. No, it's just great to like see the world that's created. Like even if the story isn't like the most unique or brilliant thing, the world is unbelievable. And the same thing with Top Gun. It's like Top Gun is the perfect execution of a traditional Hollywood blockbuster. Yeah. There are people who like hate on like Top Gun.

Just do it perfect. Just do it great. Yeah. Like Louis was on the pod like hating on top gun and it's like no no he they're not trying to make something like unique and different no it's the most delicious cheeseburger you've ever had in your life and you know what we still eat motherfucking cheese veggie burger you you oh this is why i don't fit in vegans so i don't fit in no place um all right buddy great talking to you you're the man i don't know what our blocks were but i think we have no i don't know whatever the i don't mind if we don't need the format we don't we'll just put up ones you don't even know about yeah that's cool also right we just put up one like we've ended up just going like shit that we weren't didn't write down yeah that become

um not professional uh he's fired spike lee my phone rang when he was doing a sketch one time and he charged me 20 bucks i love that fucking excellent um the uh but yeah like it doesn't have to be as long as it's more introspective than you normally are. Yeah. I've never heard you talk about your marriage. So like, it's interesting to me. I don't know. Do you ever talk about it? Yeah.

Yeah, I talk about the pod and these types of, and in places I, yeah, it's fun. You're great. You're great interviewing. Yeah, you're curious. That's the other thing. It's like, yeah, you're curious. I think that's kind of why we get it.

I think we've connected for multiple reasons, but I think at the end of the day, it's like in this industry, when you meet someone who's like, like will ask you something. I'm always very curious about what your perspective is on something and like your experience.

And I think you're also that way with other people. And I think it's like nice. Sometimes when we're in this industry, you're surrounded by a lot of people who maybe aren't as curious about others well it's funny yeah that thing about like comparison yeah empathy and curiosity is in service of comparison do you know what i mean i ask you questions and i'm like so what's it like to be you uh because you're comparing like my interesting my operating system i should see if that sounds better

interesting and not i'm not envious i'm just more like so what do you yeah marriage yeah huh okay yeah that's true like you know we've had talks about other stuff and it's just like i'm learning kind of like what your experiences were in certain things and things that were great about it and things that were not that great and it's like okay how can i avoid those things that weren't that great that's like really helpful so i guess there is yeah selfishness in that but like but i don't it's good i think it's like it's being a human being's not easy yeah and just going like what's it like over there yeah yeah yeah you know what i mean like what it's like like is this infected but it's emotion um all right great buddy my brother yep thank you bye friend

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