Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Bill Burr

Starting point is 00:00:00 hey i want to do an episode where uh i just answer your questions so if you have any questions or comments or whatever you need advice you need whatever you think i could help you with no sketch questions hit me at neilbrennanblocks at gmail.com hello my guest today is uh i'm gonna embarrass you i would argue one of the one of the best comedians ever. No one's made more good hour comedy specials than my guest today. And you're going, Neil, what about Richard Pryor? What about Drip?

Starting point is 00:00:33 I don't know what to tell you. This guy, to me, has more good whole stand-up comedy hours. Did you audition to play Oppenheimer? I literally just watched that movie. And you're the same sort of killy and skinny. you got that I could figure out what is it astrophysics metaphysics whatever the fuck it was glasses on yeah I know you look you look extra smart today thank you very much yeah um I always like to start with a compliment no I know well that's the thing about you is I can compliment the hell out of you it's not going to change a thing. No, it doesn't. You have some of my favorite bits ever. We'll name a couple.

Starting point is 00:01:06 Golden Wars. The diarrhea bit where I actually spelled the word at the cellar. No, I don't remember that. Hey, you know, I'm just saying. Your Schwarzenegger joke. Not all of them were A-sides. Your black dudes wearing gay outfits. A great joke.

Starting point is 00:01:20 I don't give a shit what fucked up color their shirt is. They got a pair of shoes to match it and a hat. Telling your wife to hit on you. Incredible joke. Going uptown, dating him when he was dating a black girl. She lives in Harlem. I look how I look.

Starting point is 00:01:37 So it's a fucking situation. Fantastic. A lot. You got a lot of hits. And I don't think you get enough credit i'm playing the sphere soon once you do that you could do one um just your giant head uh the um so all right so the podcast is sort of predicated on talking about problems you've gone in and out of talking about emotional problems one of the things that you did an episode of the moth podcast 15 years ago or something where you told a personal story about growing up that I heard it was like, this is interesting to hear a comedian.

Starting point is 00:02:18 I really like talk about that. And it kind of inspired that free mics thing I did on Netflix in a weird way because I was like, oh this is an interesting thing to hear i don't think you especially like doing it i think you'd rather just be fucking funny and opinionated i'm definitely hair metal than more hair metal than grunge yeah because hair metal bands had their pain but we just sort of rocked our way through it i like you're saying we we're well no because generation x there's a dividing line yes there's you're on the hair metal 80 side fucking metal beginning of speed metal and all of that shit or you're into the grunge stuff yeah you're you you're hair metal uh but you have a now but you've more and more you've talked about sort of like having a temper

Starting point is 00:03:06 on stage oh let me say but more and more you're going to see like madonna yeah but you did go see madonna yeah i blew it i blew it with like i was like really like uh i was almost borderline racist with my with my music where i was just like there's only one kind of music this is superior like if i just switched a few words i could have been the grand dragon of the clan um so i wasn't talking about people i would only listen to metal being what it really was was i was i was so walled off emotionally that anything that actually brought up feelings to me like i didn't want to feel them because i knew that that was that was a free fall into this this 800 pound gorilla that i ignored until my 40s and um so anything so you would just focus on anger aggression yeah aggression i related

Starting point is 00:03:56 to you know although all those metal bands had their ballads sure but that was always about like one chick that's what i loved about the metal bands they played the ballad you know they were trying to go like they got you late too yeah because not all those chicks made it backstage some of them stayed in the crowd and fucked us yeah those bands were great and what i loved too was that they you know everybody could play they could really fucking play and it wasn't just about being able to play like you had to like shred like there was an insane and the level of musicianship because there was no internet we were all just rewinding cassette tapes and slowing down records i say we like i mean i was trying to do it but there was always just that gifted kid that could figure it out like guitar

Starting point is 00:04:42 they all seem like they went to berkeleylee School of Music. Like whenever you do research about C.C. DeVille or any of these people from like the- No, those guys were all self-taught. Oh, were they really? Yeah, you were self-taught. You found somebody else. And then there was always these rumors, you know? There was always a guy two towns over

Starting point is 00:04:57 that could play Eruption. You know what I mean? Dude, I was at a party. I saw it. He played it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and like what I, I feel bad for kids today because they don't get a chance to develop like a scene because everyone's just

Starting point is 00:05:10 like filming it and like um and i even have it like if if something happened in the middle of a jungle in africa if there's no video i'm like what the fuck you know like how is there no video but but back then what was funny was like you, there's this guy and like the myth of it. And people would just keep adding to it. It would become like this giant fish story. How big a fish it caught. But it was just like, you know, he can play it. I saw it.

Starting point is 00:05:36 I was there. Really? Dude. I mean, he wasn't even looking at the fretboard. He was just fucking ripping. Yeah. Now, when you do talk about like more you talk about anger more right well i thought no i don't see that you know when you talked about

Starting point is 00:05:50 like your daughter saying like daddy your daughter kind of intervening right you that joke yeah she had a great one one day she just goes dad can you stop being mad now and i just laughed and i go all right but i don't get like But I don't get mad at them. They're too cute and funny. But I get into it with my wife. I mean, I definitely do that. But then my daughter's always like, can you guys stop?

Starting point is 00:06:11 She calls it squabbling. And then we just stop. But I'm really good about not having a lot of those because I hated those when I was a kid and they really fucked me up. Fights? Yeah. Parental fights? Yeah. Yeah, they really fuck a kid up. And like when I was a kid and they really fucked me up fights yeah parental fights

Starting point is 00:06:25 yeah yeah they really fuck a kid up and like what i was watching like a one-sided sort of beating verbally just yeah yeah and you just learn all these really bad things you think it's avoidable because i similar position and then i would find myself kind of doing the same thing in arguments like no it's it's apologizing and taking accountability is a huge thing like I hate to say this but this morning my son was driving up the wall me up the wall and he kept going like I want to listen to ACDC I want to listen to ACDC right which is awesome he has this Angus impression. And I'm trying to make him waffles. And then you pick the song and he's going, this isn't the song. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:09 Da-da-da-da-da. And I finally just said, you know, I'm like, I go, geez, will you shut up? I'm going to do it or whatever. And then, you know, my daughter's like, don't say S-up to you. And I immediately felt bad. And then, but then, you know, like a minute later i i said to him sorry i said that or whatever yeah then of course i heard you say that i just you know they always got they always got to get like the yeah like like if if i heard her do that and then she apologized yeah i would be thinking

Starting point is 00:07:40 good that's that's a beautiful thing she's an adult dude what about with nia because that's the thing like i i was finding my i don't have kids i'm involved with the kid now but longer story but like the i would find myself with x's doing moves that my dad would do my dad who i didn't like and i'd be like fuck i'm nobody liked our dead dad from our generation you now you you're more sympathetic to him right i mean i let a lot of shit go yeah but like the you know the information didn't exist back then no and it's just not something that's going to be resolved like that generation they're like a satellite they have like a you know they there's a course that was set and they're sent off and that's it

Starting point is 00:08:23 and you realize that unless somebody wants to or can even acknowledge that what they're doing because the previous generation's big oh that never happened it wasn't that bad well when you have a family you fucking do it perfect like that's the best you're gonna get i kind of feel like they were better than their parents 100% they were that whole bullshit about the greatest generation yeah and then everybody what because Tom Brokaw said it one guy says that and then that becomes the greatest generation if you look at where race relations were the greatest generation he's talking about World War II simultaneously like segregation was going on brutal segregation top of the charts yeah top of the church segregation right and it's just like

Starting point is 00:09:05 yeah and he's sitting there that's a very compartmentalized white way of looking at a certain moment in history and just being like these guys were the greatest well maybe with the information they had or whatever but there was a lot of things that were going on back then that uh that weren't great a lot of things that that are coming back like you just saw in our like in arkansas they made it okay for a 13-year-old to go work in a factory. And you know what they're going to do? They're going to fire their parents

Starting point is 00:09:30 that are full-time with benefits, and then you've got to compete with your own kid. They have so exhausted sweatshop labor around the world, and we've all ignored it here because it didn't affect us, and now they're going to bring it back here. But it's not going to work.

Starting point is 00:09:44 It's not going to work. Did you ever look up how much child labor there was in the early 1900s? I remember reading horrible stories about debtors' prison, whole families being in there, no way of getting out, and then also eight-year-olds doing,

Starting point is 00:09:59 in the 1800s, during the... Between slavery and the... I love what they call the robber baron era, like that ever. I love, I love, I love what they call like the robber baron era. Like that ever ended. Yeah. I'll tell you another thing. That's really fucking annoying. This shit out of me right now is that fucking expression tech bro,

Starting point is 00:10:13 tech bro. So they, they can't take nerds. Never near nerds are like women. They never get blamed for anything. So tech bro makes it frat boy adjacent. Like there's some fucking bro with his hat backwards. It's like frat guys. They was an individual like hurting of human beings what these fucking nerds do and what

Starting point is 00:10:34 they have created and how little they value they've devalued like art so now we're all working and it's like with each like the pool just keeps shrinking and shrinking and shrinking and these tech bros no these fucking nerds are taking all the money while they're acting like oh you know we don't have any fucking money and then the next quarter like you know like that spotify shit yeah that spotify shit you see these major artists they just took all their music they're making billions off of it and then send in like some icon a check for like 1800 bucks and so then they go tech bro so it continues that stupid you know argument of male you know toxicity but it's the same guy yeah it's for it's it's bros it's not just like the system it's just

Starting point is 00:11:22 a couple bros yeah it's not like no the whole thing is predicated on fucking people. Yeah, that's what's funny. I loved Barbie and I also loved Oppenheimer, but I thought Oppenheimer, like if I was a feminist, like that's the movie if you really want to see an indictment on men. That fucking movie is amazing. And what I love about it is it shows a wide variety of men and then it also shows all of them had like that weakness and you know some of them were petty

Starting point is 00:11:52 some were vindictive some were just dumb and then you just see like um something that i've been thinking about is like you know just like intelligence like what people's understanding of what being smart even is like people think you know you read a book and you become smarter you don't become smarter you just know that information if you can retain it you didn't get smarter rock said one time he was we were talking about somebody he goes is he smart and i go yeah he went to yale and he goes i didn't ask does he have a good computer yeah i said is he smart yeah which is like tell what what do you think of me it just to me it's being able to take information and have a new thought

Starting point is 00:12:31 around it it's how you process information but then there's all different levels of that a bit I've been doing in my act people go hey Bill you're a smart guy it's like yeah in a bar yeah it's a bunch of sports fans around I can hold my own and maybe know a little bit about this or you know a little bit about music or i can talk about shit yeah recall statistics yeah but there's then there's like the people that discover shit like nothing i'm ever going to do is going to require someone to write a book about it unless they're just trying to make money off some cheesy fucking somebody in the public eye right but like quantum physics like somebody like people figured that out before there was a book on it okay and then

Starting point is 00:13:11 it's like these super smart people have to then to explain it to a less smart person who then writes a book and then then they see if you're and i are smart enough to read this retain it and be able to apply it yeah and most people drop the class by october yeah so that's the whole fucking thing but um yeah no i'm fascinated with the idea of a of a higher power that cares that simultaneously makes sociopaths and dumb people at the same time it's like you can't tell me that that's not designed to fail what am i am i supposed to sit here and think that there's a god that gives a fuck when he does such shoddy work yeah i don't i don't i don't buy i don't buy the built-in excuse of the devil because that's also god's creation so what also what are we doing here try to get a

Starting point is 00:14:02 straight story about what the devil is. Like, if you read about it, you're like, wait, he worked for God, and then he didn't, then he left, or him and God had fallen out. No, God created him and had fallen out, and God could have just handled him, and he didn't. But why would he then punish people for disobeying God? Again, it's one of these things where you're like, wait, what? It's another Bible story where you're like, what happened? That's why I feel like the same group owns Fox News and CNN. The whole thing is just designed to have you be divided. Like those two things, not everything that they're talking about.

Starting point is 00:14:33 This is wrecking America. This is wrecking man. Those two fucking channels and what those people do every single day to just cause people, Americans, to keep yelling at each other as they make it legal for a 13-year-old to go to work in a factory. You know what the fuck they're doing. Yeah. What does he need cash for? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:14:52 So you got a baby at home? They're by the two and a half million kids working in child labor in the early 1900s. Discover more value than ever at Loblaws. Like price drop. Hear that? Loblaws lowers prices every four weeks on a selection

Starting point is 00:15:07 of items, so you can save more. Whether it's pantry staples or seasonal favorites, you can look forward to new discounts throughout the aisles at Loblaws to get your essentials at great prices. It's your cue to stock up and save. Look for new value

Starting point is 00:15:23 programs when you shop at Loblaws, in-store and online. Seth and Riley's Garage Hard Lemonade. A delicious classic with a vibrant taste of fresh lemons. The perfect balance of sweet and sour with a crisp, zesty edge. Welcome to The Garage, the place of refreshing hard lemonade. Available at the LCBO. Must be legal drinking age please enjoy responsibly i mean in what was the population back then too yeah probably a hundred something um and like the school didn't really take off till the early 90s like it wasn't like

Starting point is 00:16:02 yeah now you go to school that was like that was for rich people just to make when you look back at that shit that's why i'm like when you're talking about parents and grandparents all that shit it's like there was just a bunch of kind of borderline savagery and they're just trying to get through it and like even like misogyny i don't think i don't think any of that ever went away like if you really look at like, I can't get it. It's too like big. When you look at like just, when you look at racism and how people look at other fucking people and how they can't apply it to their own group of people. They can't give other races. Racists will say black people are prone to violence. And it's like, okay, I'll go with that.

Starting point is 00:16:43 Then what are white people? Right. How many genocides do black people are prone to violence. And it's like, okay, I'll go with that. Then what are white people? Right. How many genocides do black people have under their belt versus us? And like, because ours has like uniforms and, you know, we have songs and shit. Like you start looking at it, you know, and then another brilliant thing they did. They, they, they made this. If you criticize what we're doing with the troops, then you don't support the troops. Yeah. Which is hilarious because if you don't support the troops yeah

Starting point is 00:17:05 which is hilarious because if i don't like the head coach of my team and i'm criticizing him that doesn't mean i'm not a fan of a team i'm actually criticizing because i am right i love my team right i just don't like i want them to not be in danger i want the troops to not have to do dumb shit i don't see how that's not supporting them like i want to run in traffic i don't want you why don't you support me it's like you know my favorite thing is right now is people that like gas combustion cars uh-huh and now they're now they're all concerned about the how we're getting the natural resources for electric cars i mean it's just really it's just like are you really yes sit there with a fucking straight face and do that um but that's what human beings do i do it i've actually

Starting point is 00:17:47 been beating myself up the fact that i made myself a hero in that story with my wife that if she said to my son to shut up that i wouldn't have said anything when i saw it like you know and you let me get away with it because i don't know enough i'm not gonna meddle in your relationship and now i'm blaming you see so there you go that's who i am what do you think if we let's say you're like the let's say you're god but you know what i mean like i'd like to apologize to 87 percent of the people on the earth how would your right no but how what do you think what do you think what do you think this shit should be like like what do you think that a good government a good way of people being because to me it comes down to like the human animal is like prone to greed and selfishness and everything after that

Starting point is 00:18:33 is just trying to overcome that well i mean that's a great debate are we prone to it is did the greedy people set the game up so that's the carrot you would fucking run after i i don't know but as far as like how to how to fix it there's there's no way to fix it human beings are are inherently flawed right there's no like uh like the actually truly good empathetic people don't really want to govern people and tell them what to do they kind of want to be left alone. But like psychos who aren't that smart. I mean, I think a really ignorant thought would be for me to sit here going like, you know what? I know how to blah, blah, blah, how to do that.

Starting point is 00:19:14 That's what dumb people think. And they go. I'm not even talking about like you should do it or run for it. I'm just saying like, what would you do? Because dealing with people, even if it's like I have severe problems with most things, but I'm like, I don't know what the solution would be. My first thought immediately, you got to go Hitler, but with the right things. You got to have the final solution for-

Starting point is 00:19:35 Positive Hitler. Positive Hitler. You got to shave off the mustache. Yep. It's like when Spider-Man wears the red suit instead of the black suit. The sociopaths, narcissists, you'd have to totally change the history that we all kind of look and view like that's what happened. You'd have to change a bunch of that.

Starting point is 00:19:54 And I don't know how you would do it. There's no way to fix it. There is no way to fix it. Because all of that, there's a fly in the ointment of everything. There is no purpose. I think the reality is what we're doing is the best we got. This is the best we can do. I know.

Starting point is 00:20:07 This is really the best we can do. What do you hope for your kids in terms of like what's your goal for them? Well, the number one thing would be the environment that there's going to be a world that they can, you know. Live in. Yeah. Like as major shit is happening. Like, I mean, I haven't been able to watch a nature channel for like 15 years just watching every day the great barrier reef dying and these major things going away and like i think like corporations they have this psycho thing where they've paid off

Starting point is 00:20:34 all the politicians and they're like well you know if they don't want us to do it then they can just make a law and we're just going to keep doing it and it's like but you paid them off yeah not you know they're not going to yeah but i'm wondering do you practice what you like do you feel bad flying because i feel bad do i practice like no i'm a fuck it i do the best i can and then i then i'm constantly you're a long-time prius driver i know that's true you've had a prius for a long or you know i don't know what you have now but you know you were an early guy yeah i love that car yeah and i love getting gay bash driving it was fucking phenomenal because i watched those same people when gas prices would go up they would sneak over how's that how does that

Starting point is 00:21:09 thing do uh how does that thing do i guess so what do you where do you stick your dick yeah no i don't have a i don't have an electric car right now right i i but i mean i like them yeah no i'm not saying i don't have a problem it's just it's we're prime examples of like, oh no, this is bad and I can't stop doing it. But I want everybody to stop doing the thing. No, but it's also like, I also know that like the electric car isn't any cleaner. The thing that I liked about the electric car was I was under this false hope that if we did this, then it would finally get us out of the Middle East and we could stay out of that hornet's nest that you're not going to be able to solve. But I realized later that we're over there on purpose and stirring it up because that's somehow good

Starting point is 00:21:53 for a very small portion of people over here, I would think. So I don't watch the news, dude. I stay away from all that stuff. I just found I already have enough depression issues. I don't need to sit there and just watch. It's not even what these fucking people say. It's watching people believe it. And endorse it and go like, well, you know, cut to this person.

Starting point is 00:22:12 Let me tell you. Yeah, this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. What's the first thing you do if you had an extra hour in your day? Go for a run, take a nap, read a book, show up for a friend, video games. A lot of us spend our lives wishing we had more time. The question is time for what? Time was unlimited. How would you use it? Best way to squeeze that special thing into your schedule is to know what's important to you and make it a priority. Therapy can help you with what matters to you so you can do more of it. I've been going to therapy.

Starting point is 00:22:42 So I've been going to therapy. I'm dating a therapist. I talk about therapy. I talk about therapy in my regular life. I talk about it on here, this award-winning podcast. Helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries. Big on boundaries. It empowers you to be the best version of yourself.

Starting point is 00:23:02 It isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma. Yeah, you don't have to have had a horrible thing happen to you. You can just be like a lot of little things that happen. Like there's a thing called death by a thousand cuts. I think that's what most of us are going through. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist

Starting point is 00:23:23 and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. learn to make time for what makes you happy with better help visit betterhelp.com uh slash neal today to get 10 off your first month that's better help b-e-t-t-e-r-h-e-l-p dot com-L. You know I've benefited from therapy. I won't stop talking about it. Never gone and been like, that was a waste of time. Do it. Do therapy. Betterhelp.com slash Neil.

Starting point is 00:23:56 I got a question for you. How do you think your life's going? I think it's going great. Great. Yeah. Do you want to have a problem with it? No, no, no, no, no. But I'm saying you're like uh for all for the

Starting point is 00:24:07 depression issues you said to me recently like about all your hobbies that you feel like you're trying to outrun sadness yeah and no because this shit how long does it take to for it to like come creeping like an hour nah a couple of weeks a couple weeks it comes back up but this just shit that happened to me that you know you don't get over it you can address it you can talk about it you can take your mushrooms but this shit that just happened to you that it's it just it it it happened and there's nothing you can do about it and uh you know the sadness of it doesn't go away so i just sort of manage it i'm just happy i don't have like some clinical thing where it's like i'm not even sad my brain is just telling me i'm sad

Starting point is 00:24:50 whatever that is i don't have that like my shit is like uh you think you don't have enough serotonin or dopamine or any of that shit i mean i've heard those words i don't know what i know dopamine makes you feel good yeah what i don't know what serotonin does so similar oh yeah you know people come up to you as a comedian do you realize you know what you do making people laugh during hard times blah blah that's such a great thing you're doing it's like buddy you like i'm doing it for me also i mean i definitely i mean i'm doing it 90 me i'm fucked up yeah like i need to say these things make by making you laugh i feel approval and i feel better about myself i mean when i was like in my 20s i mean i literally how i mean when i was like in my 20s i

Starting point is 00:25:25 mean i literally how i felt about myself was literally how my last set went yeah if it went great i was like okay i thought it was cool right and then if it went bad i was like i knew it all these thoughts were true yeah and then i would literally like not go to the movies just have to get another set in to just you know get it off you yeah it's like a relief pitcher fucking giving up a home run give me another ball i gotta strike somebody out so i this baseball dream isn't over because that's really all the stand-up is is it's it's a dream it's really happening but it's not the same as a real relationship it's like you came down here you took time off from work you spent a bunch of money and i'm going to give you your money's worth that's my responsibility that's what i do

Starting point is 00:26:08 hopefully so you think it's a dream for you and them meaning like it's not a real they're watching like not a real person it looks like a person just talking next like just off the top of their head but it's like they are really watching me okay because what i'm saying on stage is not like i am i'm fucking around but i i'm i'm basically being what it's like to hang out with me unless i'm messed up unless i'm in a pissy mood i don't show those sides of me when i don't want to fucking talk to somebody but like um they yeah they're getting good mood billy they're getting positive hitler yeah they're getting they're getting saturday afternoon bill that's what they are but that's why whenever somebody will yell out i love you i'm like you

Starting point is 00:26:53 love the idea of me talk to my wife she has to live with me she gets all the colors of the rainbow have you gotten has that guy gotten better what guy the guy at the home oh 100 how did you get over the thing of like i'm not my last set i bought a house i remember when i when i bought a house when did i buy 2011 i was like 43 years old i bought my first house and i remember standing on the back porch with my lovely wife and i said i know i'm not supposed to say this but I made it. And I'm not buying into this whole thing like, no, man, don't be satisfied. Don't get happy. Don't get too happy.

Starting point is 00:27:30 All of that dumb shit that people say to you. And it's like, you know, and we didn't even have kids. It's like I'm with the woman of my dreams. I have a house. I have a fucking parking spot. Like just little things. You know, I have enough room to have an end table. You know, that whole fucking new york

Starting point is 00:27:46 experience whatever that was that for whatever reasons new yorkers just think is the greatest fucking way ever to live like dude i got a balcony and you just see this and then it's like they're always like they're like obstructed view it's just fucking it's an ant farm yeah and they just standing up and then if you ever get anything what i always hated to to actually get a just basically a livable space i'm talking like manhattan because when i lived there brooklyn hadn't blown up it was just starting to whatever i'm talking like you had to like you had to live like 40 floors up and then there's a doorman and there's all of these fees and stuff and then you can't even enjoy your space because this pressure like those fucking doorman buildings even if you were to just buy the apartment and pay

Starting point is 00:28:35 it off it's like 10 15 grand a month maintenance i don't think it's that high but yeah there is maintenance and like fees and all that and hoa.O.A. You sure about that? Yeah. Depends on the building and one of those fucking glass towers. Because like once. Oh, yeah. Because we had this little ass apartment, you know, when we were there. So we were thinking about, oh, maybe we'll get like a doorman thing.

Starting point is 00:28:58 You know, we got the kids now, something safe or whatever. And I looked for like a day. I was like, this is the stupidest thing. All of those glass towers, they have the doorman all the maintenance fees you had a bit i was like this is dumb i just want to be paid off and fuck off that's all i that's all you know you still have to pay property taxes but you know every american has that dream i just want to be fucking left alone yeah can i just can i just sit here and have a fucking sandwich? You know what I mean? Without you scaring the shit out of me about something happening and people coming to get me and a fucking asteroid and all.

Starting point is 00:29:31 That's why I just fucking, I don't do anything, dude. I hang with my kids. I hang with my wife. I fucking drink coffee. I laid off the cigars. I play drums and I'm into aviation. That's what I do. And I got a little motorcycle too that I ride around the airport.

Starting point is 00:29:46 I'm too afraid to ride on the roads. And you just ride up and down like Top Gun or something? I'm not racing. Everybody always says Top Gun, like race. I don't know. You say airport. Well, no. You have like, there's like the taxiways and stuff.

Starting point is 00:29:59 And then further in from that, where you're taxiing to the taxiways there. I'm going like 30 30 40 miles an hour and i just absolutely i have a ear-to-ear grin whenever i stop flying you know when i'm done flying and i put it away and then i just get on that thing and i just do a couple of laps and i have a fucking ear-to-ear grin and i'm i love machines and i miss driving like a stick and all of that and i love down a stick and all of that. And I love downshifting and all of that and all the stuff that I remember from a kid looking through the turn. And then also getting to know the bike.

Starting point is 00:30:38 I just love how every machine, even if like I was to buy the same bike as what I have now, it'd be a little different animal. And just like figuring it out. Like what is this, where does this thing want to live? And like through that type of shit, I actually got better with like people in my relationship. Like, I was like, what if I applied this to the people in my life? Like, where is their comfort zone? And how can I kind of keep myself with all of my bullshit that like, who the hell wants to listen to my shit? You know, and I find with my wife, you wife you know taking her out getting coffee in the morning you know making her laugh being silly or whatever and then if she's you know got a little bit of the blues or whatever

Starting point is 00:31:16 she's a creative person so she you know she can figure it out well then i kind of like you know do i you know you just figure it out does she want me to make her laugh affection here or does she need me to just kind of be here while fucking off at the same time so you're doing that not even maybe consciously maybe not like diagnose live diagnostics about who you're interacting with yeah because that seems new that i don't know if i do that and i wouldn't have guessed that you do that certainly not 10 years ago because i don't know if i do that and i wouldn't have guessed that you do that certainly not 10 years ago because i know you direct you don't do that that means no no no directing if it's an actor yeah but i'm saying like with the crew i i think it's you kind of go into like hard ass mode or like i have to get this thing done or uh talking to people i think it's like i what I was going to ask you when you were saying all this.

Starting point is 00:32:06 Is like when you would get. When you would lose your temper. Or if you lose your temper. Didn't you feel. When is a better word. Do you feel a little justified in it? Like I'm. You're dumb.

Starting point is 00:32:19 And I'm going to punish you. For this. Or you're making me uncomfortable. And I'm going to bring a and i'm gonna what i actually do is i trash myself afterwards like i'm in the car by myself and i'm just going you fucking what the fuck did you i'm yelling at some driver whatever and then i pull up next to him and i see him and it's some woman in like her 40s and i just go that's great bill that's somebody's mom that's somebody's sister that's somebody's daughter and then i just imagine their family members can you move the process hearing what i said uh-huh and then i just say sorry to all of her

Starting point is 00:32:50 family members that's what i do in traffic have i been able to move the process up to not do that no i have not gotten that belt at the emotional dojo yet i've taken the test a lot and failed well yeah that's what i'm wondering is like k have you you've been have you moved it up with your kids though right 100 no like me in uh in my kids is um um one of the advantages i have is i don't i haven't forgot what it's like to be a kid so how would you categorize it? Because I would categorize it as scary being a kid. Yeah, so my thing is if my daughter is putting on an outfit

Starting point is 00:33:31 and she doesn't like it, the fucking outfit's gone. Yeah. You can't go to school questioning your outfit because the sharks come, okay? And they're already going to come. I don't need to be putting chum in the water by sticking her in the wrong outfit. So, I'm like, you don't like this? All right.

Starting point is 00:33:47 You don't like your hair like that? You want it up in a bun? I'll do that. You want pigtails? You know, yeah, I learned how to do her hair and all of that type of stuff. And then with my son, you know, he gets really into, you know, certain shirts and stuff like that. So, you know, if that's what he wants to wear, you know, if that's what he wants to wear, that's what he's going to wear. I do stuff like that. And then I just tell them,

Starting point is 00:34:19 I tell them all the time. I tell my daughter all the time, I go, you're a really strong person. And she's also a really nice person. So a lot of times, you know, when, if a kid does something mean, you know, her questions are like, why? Right. Which is such a sweet question. Like, why would you do that? How would you do that? And then, you know, like most your experience as a parent, your kid asks you a question and you don't have an answer. Could you explain, could you go? No, I would literally just be like, why do kids do that? And I just, I would, I would answer that question. I don't know. But unfortunately it's one of those things that you have to deal with and you have to understand that that has nothing to do with you. And that's them. They're probably sad or whatever. They're not getting enough and that's them they're probably sad or whatever

Starting point is 00:35:06 they're not getting enough they're not getting something at home or whatever or maybe they're just a jerk i wouldn't say asshole but like um you know she's almost she's starting to get to that be that age and i'd be like and you know half the game of life is learning how to deal with people like that do you see things of yourself in her that we should take shit on? 100%, yep. And you're like, oh, fuck, we got to get ahead of this. No, not like that. Not even in that way, but just protective.

Starting point is 00:35:31 I just see her personality trait. Her personality is more me, where it takes her longer to jump into the pool, where my son is more like my wife where my wife you know will baby step baby step but when she jumps in it's like right in um but not in a pool she's one of those people that goes in really soon i always like laugh at her going like you've you've turned this into a 15 minute torture process you just like jump in and she's just like just shut up and let me do it how i do it you know it's hilarious so no we're both in a great place right now because we're i'm just sort of looking back

Starting point is 00:36:07 like we've just had so many laughs and so many good times and like you know my wife used to come on my podcast all the time before we have kids we have kids so i mean somebody has to watch the kids when i'm on the podcast so she doesn't come on as much but like i was always proud like so many people would be like i want to have a relationship like that because, you know, my wife's just as funny as I am. She's fucking hilarious. I run stuff by her. And if I make her laugh or I piss her off, I go, that's going in the act. Wherever you're going, you better believe American Express will be right there with you.

Starting point is 00:36:38 Heading for adventure? We'll help you breeze through security. Meeting friends a world away? You can use your travel credit. Squeezing every drop out of the last day? How about a 4 p.m. late checkout? Just need a nice place to settle in? Enjoy your room upgrade. Wherever you go, we'll go together. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamx. Benefits vary by card terms apply dq presents picture this picture the reese's extreme blizzard back for a limited time reese's peanut butter cups and reese's pieces blended together

Starting point is 00:37:12 with world famous soft serve in one blizzard treat it's a dream treat for choco peanut butter lovers wait are you dreaming well check are there any dinosaurs around? Are you riding a unicorn? Are you back in high school? No? Then, oh, yeah, this Reese's Extreme Blizzard is real. Hurry into DQ today. DQ. Happy tastes good. But if she goes like, or whatever, I know it's not good.

Starting point is 00:37:41 And then it also, it hurts. Yeah. Because I love her. So, like, I really value her opinion. But I also love her even more that she doesn't sugarcoat if she doesn't think, you know, something's fine. I mean, obviously I don't run everything by her despite what some racists think. You don't seem arrogant to me at all. No. I mean, I'm sure you're like quiet.

Starting point is 00:38:04 No, but I'm sure you're like quietly confident like i'll be all right um but you're not i'm confident i'm confident but i don't like walk around thinking i know everything because that's the kiss of death you know what i'm gonna do today neil i'm gonna stop learning for the rest of my life see how that goes nobody but that's you could be i know a lot of people that are not even as funny as you that are more arrogant than you like you're i you have well-earned confidence in comedy but you're not you put in for spots you don't run the light you're like you're you seem like the same person you were 20 years ago 25 years ago like you know but like you're not telling

Starting point is 00:38:47 you i don't well i've watched a lot of people uh i call it taking the ride uh-huh well you just can't i am amazing it's like whatever you look like what and you just you know treating people like shit and doing all that i got into this business because I didn't want to have a job and I wanted to have a fun job. So my big thing is like, if you're going to work with me, you're going to have fun. So like when we did old dads or we did club soda or any of the things that I've done, you know, when I'm at ATC or whatever, like I, we have fun. You know what I mean? I'm bringing coffee. We're joking around. I make fun of myself. I, you know what i mean i'm bringing coffee we're joking around i make fun of myself i you know learn people's names like you know i did a name tags i did a thing like last night when i was talking they were like uh monica levinson who was one of the uh big driving

Starting point is 00:39:35 forces on old dads you know her alma mater was uh syracuse so we did a talk to like people in the business from syracuse university Syracuse University, yeah. So one of the things they were asking, one of their tips was, what's some of your tips? And people were saying their things. And my thing was like, feed the crew. That is the biggest thing.

Starting point is 00:39:56 I don't give a shit if it's Domino's pizza, some fucking cough donuts one morning, just some sort of surprise nourishment that shows you give a shit about them and then you're not going to have any problem get get some sort of pool going yeah something they can gamble on because their job standing around waiting for us to get something we like is fucking backbreaking work yeah so if they're looking forward to you know if they hear rumors that you know we got we've got a barbecue truck today, or, uh, you start the day with like a coffee truck or something.

Starting point is 00:40:29 Um, it's the best money you'll ever spend. I, on those things we did, uh, Mike Bertolino at all things comedy. I told him, I said, we should get some food trucks. He goes, I'm on it. And like, Mike is like, uh, he's Italian. So you know it was going to be first class. You just know it. So I have a huge, huge love. You also remember jobs. You have that joke about driving a pallet or driving a forklift or working in a dentist's office. I can see it. And I feel like you can see it.

Starting point is 00:41:04 You remember it. i love those jobs right but i'm saying like you're not that different than warehousing was the funny most fun fucking job i ever had it was the most fun i mean all i did was just we had the fucking radio on everyone was laughing once a week we all played softball against another warehouse and just got fucking hammered playing softball with drive home drunk and it was like fucking the 80s right everybody did impressions of everybody impressions of everybody in the carpeted area and it was like yeah it was almost like our own little snl show where there was like in in like in the warehouse was all like the creative people that's where i started playing drums because it was like ours was a jock town and

Starting point is 00:41:41 these kids were from walpole and that was more music. And I didn't know you could actually learn to play guitar and could play back in black. And I saw these guys doing it. I'm like, that's fucking cool. And I actually loved it was so much shit that I loved. But I learned at that point. From my experiences that I wasn't shit and what I thought and what I liked didn't matter. And my own happiness and my own thing was not important my opinions were not important none of that stuff so that was sort of the hole I was in and it was just through

Starting point is 00:42:09 meeting people like that so the warehouse was was musicians it was class clowns fucking addicts everybody like a lot of problem with authority and it was like um i mean i remember i remember losing a job because of my problems with this fucking fat fuck i mean he was so fat like he was like just he would have to swing his arms when he was walking right big stuffed shirt would come out there and all these fucking assholes i didn't like that warehouse job that There was a darkness. The drug use was heavier. Too much? Yeah, it was like, yeah, like a couple of guys I worked with there,

Starting point is 00:42:50 you know, were dead within 10 years. But the other first one, the softball one, that was fun. That was Budweiser and wine coolers and fucking listening to the outfield. It was that 80s. It was a band. It was like pre that movie wall street and platoon when

Starting point is 00:43:07 shit started getting heavier again less than zero like there was a lot of dark shit came out in the late 80s as people were understanding that cocaine maybe wasn't this miracle drug his fat fuck he just just came walking out big stupid fat fuck and uh everyone would like you know oh he'd be out there and they'd fucking, you know, try and start working harder and harder, and I went the opposite route. He'd come out, and I would just fucking look at him just long enough

Starting point is 00:43:32 to let him silently know that I don't give a fuck. The next week, I asked for a raise, and then I got laid off. Did you know, like, I'm not getting this fucking race or you felt like you deserved it no i did deserve it i was one of the best fucking workers that guy had i just

Starting point is 00:43:50 wasn't gonna fucking show him whatever that means and that was one of those things where that had nothing to do with that fat bastard that had to do probably with shit with my dad or something like that but i just remembered like him walking out. And he knew it. He felt it. Everybody like, oh, doing this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, hello, Mr. So-and-so.

Starting point is 00:44:13 There was just something about that. There's two things, that and bullies. Bullies make me forget that I'm not really good at fighting. There's just something because I- Yeah, you can't believe someone's acting like this, so everyone kind of freezes. And then you like i could just fight you and end this that's my my always thing was like i always knew i was gonna lose but my whole thing was just the sweetness of that one just getting that one in the one pop oh just turtling afterwards how many were you dealing with a lot of bullies i mean you know i had orange

Starting point is 00:44:46 hair dude we moved around i mean i i had to be funny quick once i i got learned how to get a little funny or whatever but i definitely um you know hit puberty late so i was smaller and stuff so there was definitely uh you know i i i took a lot of shit there for a number of years puberty late by the way pays off because i think you look younger than your age. Well, it's because black people taught me about lotion. Yeah, of course. Another great Bill Burbitt. You know why so many Caucasians need facelifts?

Starting point is 00:45:14 Because we don't know about lotion. But I mean, it is. It's just like that whole black don't crack is it's a myth. It's they they take care. They just moisturize early. They take care of their skin white people don't because it's like we can't see that is that we're dry yeah i'm gonna be 56 like most people that especially redheads like they have the fucking yeah it gets hard the skin gets hard on redheads

Starting point is 00:45:37 oh the heels the heels you see the heels of some people's feet in our race it's just like dude you you need literally to go down to fucking Home Depot and get like a grinder, like a sander. And there would be like sparks flying off of them and just like their elbows in the heels. And it's just like, I remember when I was living in North Carolina briefly, I played full court basketball on the asphalt with a guy that played in bare feet I remember I stepped on his foot I went oh shit he goes that's all right check your shoe this guy was like a fire walker or something um all right so a lot of regret you got a good the shrooms helped you you said how it let me know how sad i was i had no idea did you want are you glad you found out 100 yeah did it help with the anger like the ecosystem oh i had a two

Starting point is 00:46:34 week period of euphoria like 10 days so you do like you know how much you did where you did it like how much what was the situation i don't like most people i didn't know what the doses were i just took them i told this story on my last special where it was like yeah i it started off silly and goofy then all of a sudden like this darkness came in it was just this and it was like it was a profound sense of sadness there wasn't a beginning or an ending it just was and it was undeniable, and I couldn't figure out. I was like, what is this? Is there something going on with me and my wife? So you just sit there as you're tripping, you're checking in, and you're like, any answers from the universe? No. Something going on with the kids? I know I love my kids. I know they love me. No, that's not it. And then I was just like, all right, what is this?

Starting point is 00:47:22 And the second I said that, like the answer comes into your head, like it's the amazing things about mushrooms that make me believe in something else and a higher power and stuff. And that was the line of my life. Oh, this is how you felt as a kid. And I was of the, you know, the so-called like I'm awake now walking around.

Starting point is 00:47:42 I was of the belief that what happened to me as a kid didn't bug me and that uh it was actually a good thing because i'm tough yeah and i'm not a pussy and all of that shit and um then i realized oh that was all wrong that was what i became so i could deal with whatever was going on and then that was just a an avalanche it kind of just when i get an answer to something i don't deny it i just kind of go with it answer in that in that being an example what's another example you suck at this right and then i don't stubbornly try to keep going with it like that's how i ended up figuring out what i was supposed to do in life like when i tried something and the information came back that i wasn't good at this i was just

Starting point is 00:48:29 like i just i didn't have the ego to be like yes i am because there's like things you want to be good at yeah and also when you're good at say comedy it's way different than something you're shitty at like i used to golf until i did comedy and i was like oh i'm not gonna fucking do that i can be this good at something and that good it's like that's shitty it's a waste of time it's a total waste of time like i i didn't find it relaxing i just found it like it was just thwarting it was hurting my feelings yeah i have a funny relationship with golf like i like i like the hang yeah and then i also i get a kick out of how seriously people take yeah that absolutely ridiculous stupid activity yep unless if it actually helps you if it actually like if that's the place you need to go there's a lot of people

Starting point is 00:49:18 that you know there's a lot of men that are not in happy marriages and they didn't marry easy women now that's not a popular opinion out there the popular opinion is that if there's a lot of men that are not in happy marriages and they didn't marry easy women. Now, that's not a popular opinion out there. The popular opinion is that if there's a problem in the relationship, the man is the problem. And it's just not true. It's probably even. You know what I mean? But women are stealth overbearing. It's not like they're taking the belty and beating you down and stuff.

Starting point is 00:49:44 But it's more uh chemical warfare yeah it's also yes radioactivity yeah it's it's like it's invisible yeah yeah carbon monoxide yes emotional carbon monoxide like and you so these guys they just are managing a difficult they're like a game manager quarterback and they're just handling just trying to stay in the fucking game and they get to the golf course and they just get to like just leave that alone you get to be like a full person instead of like i feel like a lot of guys marriages and i have to tell you something right now that is the worst fucking thing that you can do to somebody is if you're in a relationship with somebody and they feel like they cannot be you just said be a full person yeah i used to say i i don't want to

Starting point is 00:50:29 be a guest in my own life that's how bad relationships make you feel like i'm like a guest in my own experience i have to run it through you or it has to be okay for you that was the thing i said to you a few yeah like. Yeah, like punch a clock. Yeah. Like, what am I allowed to be? Instead of, like, I was dating a girl, and you had jokes in your act that I wanted her to see because I didn't know how to tell her. And she, I guarantee you, you know, unless she was a, okay, first off, what I was saying was correct.

Starting point is 00:51:00 Let's start there. Yeah. And then if she was mature enough or wired in a way that she could take information that if she could actually uh admit being wrong which isn't something that some people could do some people can some people can't do it but if you were somebody that can't say that you know what i was wrong like my wife can do that and that just goes so many miles with me yeah because it's like I'm not sitting here saying I'm a person a perfect person by any stretch of the means I'm just saying you did that it made me feel like this that I was fucked up and if she can be just like

Starting point is 00:51:37 all right I was wrong I shouldn't have said that or I shouldn't have done that i'm sorry and and it goes away i know it goes away and you get so you're like i fuck with you i like you so much for that i had my girl now uh she she did something it wasn't even that agreed it was like eh we talked it out and she goes you know most of the relationships i've been in the guy was the fuck. So having that attention on me that I made the mistake, she, my girl said, I had the thought, wait, is this what guys go through in relationships? And I was like, fucking yeah, all the time. I think that reminds me of, because that's beautiful and also annoying. Like, wait, could we ever be in the wrong?

Starting point is 00:52:24 You know, that remind me one time I was doing this. I'm not going to say it, but I did somebody's podcast. Remember the alt scene, wherever the fuck that went? And he was like, you know, I was talking with another comedian friend of mine. We were like, you know what? There's alt hack. There is alt hack.

Starting point is 00:52:39 It's just like, yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah, you guys aren't as good as you fucking think you were. Like, they were so up their own asses. It was such a weird scene because it was created by Club Comics, some of the best comics of a generation, beasts that earned the right to stretch out. But then accidentally they created a scene

Starting point is 00:52:57 where someone could just start in this comedy womb of no heckling and you're the crowd and the crowd's you. Yeah. Rather than going up there going, look at these these fucking animals how am i going to relate to them um that just always like struck me as fucking hilarious like just that epiphany you're like wait a minute we have human faults also yeah and you have cultural if we all just sort of just all do the same eight rooms and hang out with each other it all kind of disappears up its own ass after a while yeah like remember what happened in the club scene did you ever notice what's up with this this guy knows what i'm talking about the same thing is going to happen to your scene it's it's part of every fucking scene like this is new this is

Starting point is 00:53:38 amazing this is great this is the apex now the industry figured out how to make money of it now now there's a formula and then it just dies that's how it all goes yeah the the thing i want to get back to was the the idea of like being good at something and then making that because it is people probably whenever people do those q and a's like hey people have questions the question in my experience is always like hey how can i be you without having a struggle for 10 15 years and it's like there's no way to not that's yeah you can't with technology no yeah the level of exposure that oh yeah but you're not it's not gonna last long i don't know about that

Starting point is 00:54:18 i i think it's just i think it's changed i am actually excited for younger comics that they don't have to go through but that the level of power that they have is really cool is really cool and and like you know we went through a different process but i feel like we there was just as many bad comics versus good comics or great comics i think that has always been the same and i think it's just all how you apply using the technology it's just it's just going to be you know it's going to be a different thing i mean it was a different thing when i showed up like when and my generation the 80s generation created the whole club scene and before that like guys like leno and those guys they had to go up in front of like strippers and jazz musicians and stuff. Opening for fucking-

Starting point is 00:55:06 Fucking Miles Davis. Jay Leno told me he opened for Miles Davis and some jazz club in North Epibody, Mass. Yeah, Seinfeld would open for Gloria Gaynor. Jerry one time said, no one wanted to see a Jew. It's like, a Jew? What? That's how people fought in the 70s? Yeah, to be like in the cat skills or something yeah like what is this jew would what yeah so the i i would imagine that there was comics from jay's generation that went through all of that stuff looked at us like jesus

Starting point is 00:55:40 christ you you actually have a place where people go specifically to see stand-up comedy. I had to be wedged between two chicks showing their titties. I would argue that you got better. I think it changes. It changes. I don't think it's any easier today. I just think it changed. I don't think it's easier.

Starting point is 00:55:58 I don't. I think there was something positive about you and Patrice and Norton and voss and kevin hart and like you guys being at the cellar together all of us assholes yeah but like you were making but like you were ridiculously mean to each other and everyone around we know that now like looking back but you some of you made it like so like it made you better and different in in a way that i think was like i'm glad that you went through that i didn't i wasn't really around it but i could see it from afar wasn't it was an asshole think tank yeah we just sat there and rather than thinking of scripts stupid we thought about dumb things mean things to say to each other shirts attacking shirts hate crimes on shirt guys it's a fucking

Starting point is 00:56:51 yeah this fucking shirt oh yeah i had and you just said we have a whole section of your closet of shit that you just couldn't wear down there condemned yeah there was stuff that i bought and then i lost the courage to wear it that's why i've always just black i always dress like malcolm young i just feel like that's the least amount of shit you're gonna get yeah oh you and patrice had the fucking i i don't know if you i'm sure you've told the story but i heard it like secondhand the thing about standing together after a show and whoever got the most you twos it was like oh yeah you too oh no no but then then we ranked them yeah it was when you after comedy shows when you're you're all the comics stand together the best the most popular comic of the night the crowd most the crowd will come and go like you were great man

Starting point is 00:57:35 and then they'll see the other person there oh you too and they'll go oh you too and it was like a ranking of how many you twos you got you too2. And then the worst one. The worst one was stick with it. Travel better with Air Canada. You can enjoy free beer, wine, and premium snacks in economy class. Now extended to flights within Canada and the U.S. Cheers to taking off this summer. More details at aircanada.com. Own each step with Peloton.

Starting point is 00:58:06 From their pop runs to walk and talks, you define what it means to be a runner. Whatever your level, embrace it. Journey starts when you say so. If you've got five minutes or 50, Peloton Tread has workouts you can work in. Or bring your classes with you for outdoor runs, walks, and hikes led by expert instructors on the Peloton app. Call yourself a runner. Peloton All Access membership separate. Learn more at onepeloton.ca slash running.

Starting point is 00:58:37 And the black version is you did your thing. You did your thing up there. That's kind of stick with it. Like, I'm not going to say, like, it was good. No, you did your thing was there. That's kind of stick with it. Like, I'm not going to say like, it was good. you did your thing was, was you had a good set. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:48 But there was also like, if you didn't really, they'd still give you like, you did your little thing. Maybe they'd throw up. That sounds female. Female like that word little. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:57 You know, little thing. You do. I never found a, there was no happy medium. There was either you, you killed or you didn't i remember getting off next comedy stop one time having a bad set and you just have to walk what sucked

Starting point is 00:59:14 about nicks is if you had a bad set you had to walk through the crowd we just call it the gauntlet walk through i remember walking through and hearing the host trying to get the crowd back and not listen wanting to look at anybody and was like you know because you've just gotten off yeah and bombed and like it was sparsely populated with people and i remember this black guy just yelling come on red you can do better that was one of those things you know i still had a day job and i didn't have another show for like five six days so for six days in my head at the dental office playing on a loop is come on red you can do better than that

Starting point is 00:59:56 god damn it and then people at work would be like you're all right yeah yeah yeah it's good yeah just didn't get sleep last night god damn it that's so fucking funny do you but you i would say you were better you're better off overall for having experienced that no well no everything in life all the pain that you have in life it just makes you if you survive it it makes you tougher if you don't give into it you know that's the thing that you learn on the way is like you can make the choice you never run to people you know everything's going great then this happened it's just like well that happens to everybody yeah you should just you got you got to use that as a as as part of your story to get in there but if you make you you have the power to be to let that thing

Starting point is 01:00:40 take you out like i saw i i you know new comedians that you know came to new york or came to la you know and they got there talking to by jamie or fucking lucian back in the day those guys ripped everyone a new asshole yeah but some people just took it to heart and couldn't get over it and it's just like yeah i used to talk to me like fuck those guys yeah those guys well that's what i was gonna say is that thing where you jamie i love jamie the the uh you had a lot of that it's like there's a thing the post-traumatic stress and there's also a thing that no one ever talks about which is post-traumatic growth which is like yeah you can grow from this shit. I feel like part of the thing where you said. You'd rather not. Yeah, you'd rather feel bad for yourself.

Starting point is 01:01:28 No, you'd rather not have that shit happen. Of course. But what I'm saying is it's going to happen. And the thing that I feel like you maybe didn't have the right balance of was like, how much of this shit is just making me tougher? And how much of this is making me tougher in a way that's not helpful i mean i would say like 85 of it was not helpful it wasn't i mean to this day my my energy sucks like when i go to a party like i am that fucking traumatized person that is feels comfortable being over in the corner

Starting point is 01:01:59 yeah and like not talking to anyone and then what i fucking hate about that is everything all right is everything all right it Is everything all right? It's like, you ever think I had a different childhood? This is me partying. Can you just fuck off? Oh my God, dude,

Starting point is 01:02:11 I went to a fucking, I went to Madonna. This fucking guy kept turning around going like, hey man, you know, make sure you have a good time now. You know, cause I have resting like fucking trauma face.

Starting point is 01:02:21 Yeah, me, I do have it too. And it's just like, dude, I, I am on fucking fuck i ate 10 milligrams of weed right now fucking enjoying this shit i'm thinking about where i was when

Starting point is 01:02:31 these songs came out and he kept fucking doing it and he kept touching me i don't like fucking being touched and it was just like these fucking people the happy kids you know what i mean and just just try to be like i don't know he wasn't trying to be an asshole but like it was just like can you just fucking leave me alone can you i'm trying to be at the concert with my wife can you just fucking leave me alone he wouldn't couldn't do it yeah hey uh he just kept doing that and then if you say you have to stop you're an asshole no i mean i was saying that i was like buddy you have to stop, you're an asshole. No, I mean, I was saying that. I was like, buddy, I get it. I go, you're going to keep making the same fucking joke.

Starting point is 01:03:07 Oh, and he kept doing it? Yeah. Yeah, that's not good. No, he was like, just ha, ha, ha, ha. Like he just, one of those people like shit doesn't land. It's like, he was like a dad. I have a dad joke, like Colin Quinn. I complain, but who, listen, remember that chunk he used to do?

Starting point is 01:03:20 I used to love that. Those stupid fucking office jokes that I heard a million times. And that's why I love Colin's joke because I never questioned them. It's just like, this is part of the office experience. And he was the first guy to be like, how many fucking times can somebody say that?

Starting point is 01:03:34 And, you know, and then you just don't, you just be like, it's an old joke already. And then you see it on like Instagram. Instagram, like there's like hacky. There's all tech. There's like hacky formulaic jokes that people like remember youtube for like 10 years somehow people kept fun was this film

Starting point is 01:03:52 with the potato how many times could somebody write that it's like no it's old technology you know what it is the first time somebody wrote it it was funny and then everybody just like i want to be the potato guy on this fucking yeah i'm gonna do that wrote it it was funny and then everybody just like i want to be the potato guy on this fucking yeah i'm gonna do that comment yeah it was literally like the pie in the face just still funny to me i feel like you uh stink no i feel like you did pretty great on what just in life no i did yeah no yeah you fucking did great you're an unbelievably great comedian like unbelievably great i i noticed that you don't it doesn't really help you you know day to day i didn't

Starting point is 01:04:30 ask for your help no no i just did that because i know you want me to do that no i don't i thought of a funny line i don't want you you know i thought i was out to breakfast with my wife the other day and this guy comes into the restaurant and this person behind the counter said, Hey, how are you? Having a nice day so far? I immediately thought I wanted the person to be like, and if I'm not. What is that? What do you want?

Starting point is 01:04:58 You just want to fucking. I would have said that and just let it sit there. But then I would have been like, I'm just fucking with you. I'm having a great day. But it was just such a, are you having a nice day so far? It's just let it sit there. But then I would have been like, I'm just fucking with you. I'm having a great day. But it was just such a, are you having a nice day so far? It was a weird way. Feels like pressure. What are you fucking, like you're checking in on me.

Starting point is 01:05:13 You're doing a study. You have like a clip. Am I having a nice day so far? Yeah. How are you coming along in life? Like what? It was just an annoying question. Is there such a thing as being friendly to you?

Starting point is 01:05:22 Or is it all kind of aggravating? There is. But there's just, hey, how are you you there was just something about the detail of that are you having a nice day so far yeah and if i'm not what are you going to help me out with it you got some avocado this is what i you got some avocado toast it's just whenever i'm arguing whenever i erase my childhood interactions with you i'd get upset and i'd be like but he's going to use this for a premise and this energy this icebreaker and this fucking what do you mean why would i you're already filming and it's right done it's gone no no i'm not saying you're going

Starting point is 01:05:54 to use for premise i'm saying if we had an interaction the energy you have energy that i sometimes it's hurt my feelings but i know that you're going to take the spirit of it and you're going to aim it at something that I want you to aim it at. And I'm thankful for it. All right. That's all. Well, you have the aloofness of a North Korean dictator.

Starting point is 01:06:16 I totally agree. I don't want to have it. I don't want to have it. I don't know that I'm doing that either, but I just know enough about your family.-huh you let it go just the way you went your voice went up an octave i go enough about your family you go uh-huh yeah yeah no i know i know this is another thing that i know without even knowing is whatever you went through was worse than what you went through yes based on the look of my face no based on my go on it was the

Starting point is 01:06:48 supersized version because it was a you had a bigger family than me yeah so which just all it does is it just the pressure gets greater and yeah and and whatever nourishment little nourishment that is in there gets ringed out uh no it's a uh yeah you know when you see it yeah and that's why i don't walk around saying to people like if i see somebody off in the corner i'm like all right they had a rough one and i leave them alone i'll go just smile yeah like that was a big fucking thing when i was in new york guys beautiful women come down the street they'd be like smile sweetie yeah and it's like for what like no i'm not smiling maybe i'm in a bad mood or if i walk around smiling ugly fucking morons like you think i want to fuck them now and then i gotta deal with you asking for my number yeah they can't even it's like this is the look i have to have on my face

Starting point is 01:07:37 because there's assholes like you out on the street yeah the shitty part for me is like i don't even feel that way anymore do you know what about whatever i went through i now i'm like past it but the face hasn't caught up the face doesn't catch up i know yeah that's one of the things that haunts me is who was i supposed to be before all this shit happened because people like well this is who you are all your experience blah blah it's like no this is a reaction no this is a reaction to shit who you're supposed to be is growing up in an environment where you're allowed to figure out who you are well that's the great thing you get to do with your kids though right is you get to just like let's see who i'm gonna help you be what you're supposed

Starting point is 01:08:26 to be dude like i am so like nervous about fucking that up i let them i'm probably too lenient but then i also even if i if i compliment my little boy i always try to bring my daughter hey did you teach him how to do that wow yeah good like because i don't want to uh you know the baby always gets more attention and stuff and all of a sudden people start having like complexes and stuff, you know, but then I always have to be like,

Starting point is 01:08:50 okay, Bill, they're probably totally fine with the whole thing and now what you're doing is superimposing. That's the thing, you know,

Starting point is 01:08:58 I had this great talk with Neil one time, I was saying like, I kind of realized like, they're completely different people. They're not you. They're not me. They're a blend of you and me plus them and their life experience.

Starting point is 01:09:13 So we don't have to worry. Or like a preexisting thing that's more God-based. You know what I mean? Or they came out of the thing. They came out of the thing. They came out of, like, the primordial soup. Even though you explained that really lightly, that it still makes as much sense as deep religious shit to me. So I actually think, in a way, that was a great way to mock religion.

Starting point is 01:09:35 You came out of the thing with the guy in the air. But that's basically what it is. Like, to act like they know what it is is fucking stupid. It's also irresponsible, and they're doing it for money. act like they know what it is is fucking stupid it's also irresponsible and they're doing it for money but the most human thing to me about about uh about uh religion is this idea that there's this guy that's mad at you yeah it's just like this is like and then you watch like what's the difference between that and somebody trying to sell me a car. Got a guy coming in another 20 minutes. Oh, God, I got to get this car.

Starting point is 01:10:07 You know, or like CNN and Fox News, there's these people and they're out to get you. Yeah, yeah. You know, there's a documentary. I only saw a clip of it on the Ukraine. And like, I had no idea, ideas of the ukraine okay so it's basically it's it's home footage it's it's so painful to watch it's like but is it the 20 minute 20 days of mariupol is that what it is the one that won just one yeah i just saw i did it's on pbs you can watch it oh my

Starting point is 01:10:39 god so yeah just watching you know it starts like footage, home videos of people's lives before Russia invaded. And you see just like, you know, this beautiful country and people just doing, this is a great thing about traveling. Like, you know, going all the way to India and Singapore and all these places thinking, you know, this is totally different, but it's the same. People want to find love. They want to feel safe they want to love their kids and whatever right so they show all of that and everything and and um i can't remember what my fucking point was what the hell were you just talking about oh god it didn't apply to that this happens to me a lot i start talking and then i can't

Starting point is 01:11:20 remember what the fuck my point was but anyway like seeing that and then you just sit there and you watch CNN, Fox News like oversimplify it. Good guy, bad guy. Yeah. And it's like what's going on in Ukraine was also going on in Russia with regular people who don't want to get involved in these conflicts. And it's these fucking lunatics at the top and everything. And then also as an American to sit there and watch that or watch what's going on the gaza strip and all that and

Starting point is 01:11:49 act like we haven't done that to the fact that that's considered like you know you know an ignorant thought and un-american thought and blah blah it's just like i'm you know we're not in control these very few people are in control of these things and doing these horrible fucking things to people who are just fucking hanging out, riding scooters. The first 10 minutes of that movie are just, it looks like Scranton, Pennsylvania. Yeah. And then you just like, just like explosions.

Starting point is 01:12:18 I saw somebody were talking about, you know, talking about Palestinians, like kids starving or anything. And like somebody just wrote like, this is war. People die. And it's like, you sound like someone like somebody just wrote like this is war people die it's like you sound like someone who's never had to go to war or had your country attacked at like that level like how you can be

Starting point is 01:12:33 like I don't understand empathy only on one side because of like your interest like all of that shit over the whole fucking thing from the latest chapter, from the beginning of it, those people at that music festival to what's going on right now is just all sad.

Starting point is 01:12:51 It's all terrible from start to finish. Totally unavoidable. And I don't understand this joke I've been doing in my act. I can't make fun of fat people, but war is still legal. Yeah. It's, I'm telling you, it's, it's the movements of a very small group of people and and these same fucking people that talk to you about religion they don't seem to be worried about an angry god they don't seem to be worried about going to hell they don't seem to be worried

Starting point is 01:13:15 about breaking any fucking commandment out there if there's a clump of trees or some oil or some fucking lakefront property or some shit that they want. And then this stupid fucking propaganda machine gets going. And the combination of watching people listening to that, and watching people doing the tomahawk chop, and wearing Crocs, that's, it's just when you're just sitting there going like, how is there a God that makes this? Like this is what we're doing.

Starting point is 01:13:47 Yeah, I don't. That I can't. I didn't want to get this fucking dark. No, no, I don't. I totally agree with you, and I still think there's some kind of God. There's a central creation force, but I don't understand it. My latest thing is he's like us. The only thing we say, god made us us in our

Starting point is 01:14:05 image i think he also made us with his intellect too yeah it's like no it's about some shit maybe maybe he's like you know you're like war i don't really know like i didn't really study it but like i made a bunch of earths yeah and i'm trying versions of humans on each one's trying to get yeah it's not going great on your earth like what if he's just a guy making an app and we're living in the app like all of that shit like i always think stuff like that does it keep going and all of these things but uh i find like an afterlife uh there's something about it that's happy and there's also something about it that is beyond depressing like it's not over like the only like i think like i don't want to like die and you know

Starting point is 01:14:53 and then i never see my kids again dogs that i loved and my lovely wife and friends and all of that shit but then like let's wrap it up yeah no but like being in heaven in that level of happiness every single fucking day there would be an insanity to it well i mean what i mean is like let's wrap up this whole consciousness thing like wrap it up like i can't take any more of this like i just did 80 years of this now you want me to enter into another thing with more rules and policies and cultures oh my god and then like i'm i'm i'm fucking uh diamond emerald level yeah you know heaven yeah you know there'll be different levels yeah certain place you can't get get to you weren't good access you weren't good enough you don't have status and then you have to do like something good on this cloud

Starting point is 01:15:44 i want to do a movie about the staff at heaven like the groundskeepers you know what i mean like somebody had to do somebody has to like do the hot put the hot pots and shit out yeah it hurts my brain thinking all of this i just feel like why can't you just accept that we have no fucking idea what happens it's another great joke here is that like man said if that joke from 20 years ago about like the bible like just say you don't know what the fuck is happening yeah and then he because they add like we don't know what happens but it's not bad you're dead yeah it's over there's a piece to it why can't they just do that and you can go because if they sell you on christopher hitchens referred to religion

Starting point is 01:16:26 or christianity as celestial north korea where it's like you're in trouble you're in trouble before you even are born in christianity so you just constantly wake up like yeah you're born with original sin bad and then you need to come to our place of business and get the special water put on you, and then you have to give us money. I mean, it's just like, how do you not see that that is just fucking Amway? Because just in case it's right, they have to hedge and be like, okay, yeah.

Starting point is 01:16:58 Somebody sent me this thing on photosynthesis, right? Like with bees going around. I don't really understand it, right? So it was saying that the- I would never that to you just the flower no it's amazing saying the flowers actually give off this sonic sound that only the bee can hear and then the bee goes in and when it takes all the nectar out the flower gives off a different sound and that lets the other bees know that there's no nectar in it right now. And they communicate on this amazing fucking level

Starting point is 01:17:28 that we can't even hear. Mind-blowing. And then you go to the comment section. And then it just was all about religion. And people see this and they say they're not a god. It's like, all right, so let me get this straight. You can ignore what's going on in the Gaza Strip, the Ukraine, what's been going on in iraq for 20

Starting point is 01:17:46 fucking years and all it all it takes is one bee hearing a flower say hey man there's some nectar in here and then you just think that there's like like how do you balance out the flower bee thing with war they can't it's like they know you know what they do they say the devil they're the fucking devil they're listening to the devil those people are the devil they're evildoers and stuff it's like no that's all god's responsibility he made all of this i even have issues i've watched too many of those fucking videos of animals pray predator verse pray and just the amount of animals that are just basically exist to be eaten alive and it's just like that's the best he could come up with but yeah but then people they'll be like there's that reddit thread of like nature is metal where it's you'll love it because it's just no i saw it i always hate there's always somebody there who has to hold my

Starting point is 01:18:38 hand while i watch nature i know this is difficult to watch but but this is nature. Trigger warning. Yeah. It's not for everybody. It's not for the faint of heart. Yeah. Yeah. And then there's these other people that try to like, they just make shit up. A lot of vegans getting upset in this thread. It's like, where?

Starting point is 01:18:58 Yeah. Here's another one that bugs me, is they'll post something from the 2000s and they'll be like, try getting away with that joke today. It's like, you just did. Yeah, it's fine. We all just watched it. We all laughed. Everybody's fine.

Starting point is 01:19:10 Nobody's getting, all the canceled people are doing arenas. It's all made up. It wasn't all made up. It was a fucking witch hunt. Oh, right. It did become a witch hunt, and there was people that were put,

Starting point is 01:19:19 this is my thing, they were fucking put on the bench, and then now, like, they're doing the, oh, that never happened. Oh, it wasn't that bad. It's now, like, they're doing the day. Oh, that never happened. Oh, it wasn't that bad. It's like, no, it got a little out of control. With Uber Reserve, good things come to those who plan ahead.

Starting point is 01:19:32 Family vacay? Reserve your ride as soon as you book your flights. To all the planners, now you can reserve your Uber ride up to 90 days in advance. See Uber app for details. This episode is brought to you by Lego Fortnite. See Uber app for details. including kids and families a safe digital space to play in download fortnight on consoles pc cloud services or android and play lego fortnight for free rated esrb e10 plus control what do you do you feel like you're the only time i was worried about with you was the snl monologue problem which was like i don't know you got i was also waiting for when people who weren't white were going to be able to talk on it because that was what was supposed to happen and then it wasn't

Starting point is 01:20:28 that that was what the basis of it it just became a bunch of fucking rich white women i don't even remember the premise you know what i mean like i don't even remember what you were in trouble for i know i remember you were in some kind of trouble i know you didn't get any trouble no never did there was no blowback or this bill burr has a controversial snl monologue did i remember that wrong or kevin did for saying that dads were fun dads were more fun than moms i know but like that's just it's just it's clickbait yeah it's clickbait like all of that stuff that like that's why you know what's funny is that's why i knew old dads was gonna kill because people would live in a bubble here in LA and they live in New York and they're listening to corporate lawyers going, sky's falling. You're going to get in trouble. You're

Starting point is 01:21:09 going to lose your desk. So they get all fucking afraid. And the great thing about being a comedian is you get to see reality. You get to travel the whole fucking world. You get to talk to people. Hopefully if you're listening, you fucking learn something. And then you realize what they're saying and what's actually out there is not real so like you know they do all like these you know

Starting point is 01:21:28 let's do a screening we need to do like a test because they're out here they have no fucking idea but like as a comedian it's like without you even knowing it you're doing a survey

Starting point is 01:21:36 every night yeah yeah I'm in Washington D.C. I'm in the fucking deep south I'm down you know New Mexico now I'm up on the east coast

Starting point is 01:21:43 Midwest Canada whatever and like you're not even noticing it but you you're your jokes and everything become international yeah because shit that doesn't work because you don't want to bomb you don't want to get rid of it so then like yeah when we brought old demi and i wrote it with ben Ben Tischler when we were bringing that thing around they were all you can't we can't like they were we can't do this and then we ended up at Merrimack's and they did it and then you know put it on

Starting point is 01:22:14 and it killed and they were like well this movie's doing great it's like well yeah you've kind of denied a generation and a half of a hard-art comedy yeah hard- art comedies historically have murdered yeah they always have you guys just somehow in your talked yourselves into thinking that no one wanted to see one of those and they 100 do yeah well they're just it's like pollsters where they're like they've gotten five elections wrong in a row, and they keep asking them,

Starting point is 01:22:45 but what about this one? Stop asking them. It's like they have the same guess on CNN. Like, this next guy was wrong about Iraq twice, but he's here to tell us about, so this is people that are in the system, and they never get rebuked. What I don't want to fucking see, and it's gonna

Starting point is 01:23:05 happen is there's gonna be a debate between trump and biden and you're gonna watch a bully beating up on a guy with dementia and it's just and they're both like cocoon age yeah it's just like it's gonna be this old folks home you ever see that broad like the fight where the like it's like three or four old guys and they're trying to fight it looks like but it's so goddamn funny because they're but you know what i'm slow but you know i love about it because you know that they all got in a bar fights that's what i they all had heart that's what i like yeah they all thought they were their old selves yeah do you know it's funny yeah there's an age you get to where if you miss with a punch it makes you fall down just the momentum of you swing one of your own limbs yeah you miss you're like

Starting point is 01:23:51 because they haven't done it in so long that they don't remember like they don't have the new calibration oh i tried to do something recently that i had done a long time ago i can't remember what it was like oh a somersault they're like dad can you do a somersault and i had not i had done 40 fucking years it like i did it but it like fucked me up my brain was i was my brain was like whoa whoa like i had taken too many hits they had to something like whatever fluid your brain sits in i don't know if it gets like doesn't get changed get changed out. Yeah. It's yeah. It's like the oil in your, in the differential. Nobody ever changes that. So I, it's sludge and just going, you know, I remember to tuck my head so I wouldn't just slam on my lower back,

Starting point is 01:24:37 but like I did it and my wife just bursted out laughing. Like I'd slipped on a banana peel and I, I had, and i kind of laughed it off and kind of crawled back over to the couch but dude i had to gather myself yeah that's what happens like okay like what was that why i don't remember that um oh fuck what time is it we gotta go okay yeah bill burr everybody all right the best thank you so much. You got it, man. Thanks for doing it. Thanks for doing it.

Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Bill Burr

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.