Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Fred Armisen

Episode Date: July 6, 2023

Neal Brennan interviews Fred Armisen (SNL, Portlandia, Documentary Now) about the things that make him feel lonely, isolated, and like something's wrong - and how he is persevering despite these blocks. ---------------------------------------------------------- Fred's Blocks: 00:00 Intro 22:41 Relationships 26:50 Bands 42:35 Heights 49:59 Theater / Long Written Passages 57:08 Venues with the word comedy 1:05:05 Availability of Breakfast 1:12:55 Writing a full length movie 1:15:38 Closeness to other people ---------------------------------------------------------- https://nealbrennan.com for tickets to Neal's tour Brand New Neal Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81036234 Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle ---------------------------------------------------------- Sponsors: https://bluechew.com code NEAL for your first month free GameTime App Code: BLOCKS for $20 off your first purchase Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Are you going to do this the whole time? Guys, you like sketches? Came to the right place, motherfucker. Me and this guy got sketches. You like them. I'm Neil Brennan. I have a podcast called Blocks where people come on and they tell me about the things that make them feel like something's wrong with them. Based on my hit Netflix.

Emmy nominated. No idea. No idea. Everything is Emmy. It is. So many things these idea. Everything is Emmy. Emmy. It is. So many things these days. You just say it's a hit.

I think you could get away with it. If you were like, it's Emmy nominated, it would just end up as official record. I believe if you took out a billboard for a fake show. Absolutely. I mean, I think you could go to a party in LA. Someone goes, what are you working on? Yeah. You go, oh, season two of my show. Yeah.

X-ray tech. Yeah. Who's going to say who's going to say? And you go, it's on Hulu. Absolutely. I think that if I spent six months saying well i worked really hard on game of thrones and you know and my arc was really fun i really think that pretty soon people would just be like oh yeah i liked your arc on game of thrones eventually someone would maybe write a

blog yeah like why did fred armisen why is he saying he was on Game of Thrones? Is this a bit? You would get bit credit. I would get something worse. I don't know what's worse than bit credit. Bit credit. This is Fred Armisen, guys. He is the only person ever to be on a sketch show and then say, hey, I have too many sketches.

I need a second sketch show i need to build an edition on a show i'm already getting two sketches a week on you're holding me back two is not enough there was there must have been years where you were wrote and were in 70 televised sketches a year maybe yeah that's a nice way to put it what's a shitty way to put it no that's i mean it's nice because yeah because i could go like yeah that's right that's me but um it just felt like the right way to do do things you know but um i sometimes wonder about that with um paul mccartney where he's got like a great solo career and then he does these solo albums within his solo career he'll put out that mccartney one mccartney two those solo albums within his solo career so not wings not wings this is not a group this these are his own recordings that he did yes uh so sometimes i marvel at that look to say what i'm gonna say this does you no good.

Your agent at the time, maybe it's still your agent, Sharon. I knew her as Shinewild. Now she's Sharon Jackson. Said Fred Armisen is a genius. And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Because at this point you'd done the. Yes, it seems racist when I say it. Did you feel it? I said, did you done the yes it seems racist when i say did you feel it i said did you feel it then slowly but surely i kind of of the mind that whatever i just have the utmost respect for

you and i would say the three fastest people i've ever met bit wise you tig notaro and this is the one no one sees coming yeah cedric the entertainer i i could see that cedric the entertainer is so fucking funny yeah and if you start a bit he's there waiting he's like there he's already there like you're like that and tig's like that where you're like, wow, I wasn't even finished formulating my bit. Yeah. And you're already there. Yeah. You've done it five times in my life where I'm like, God damn it, this guy's fucking funny.

I feel that way about you and Tim Heidecker. Did you ever spend? I've never spent a minute with Tim Heidecker. Oh, he's so funny that way. Thank you. Well, you're not going to see any of it today. But know that when these cameras turn off. It's on.

We did such a good bit on the way in. We saw each other at the door. This guy was killing. You started killing. All kinds of stuff. It was a thing i did say that i violated fred in two different ways which is i was 10 minutes late holding starbucks total violation of any every social principle there is yeah didn't offer you anything didn't say i'm going didn't clearly just went fresh stain there's a time on here on my receipt you can see when i ordered it yeah i did

a thing that i think a lot of people could do which i said i'm going to be five minutes late sorry i'm so artistic yeah not autistic artistic meaning yeah yeah i can't i'm an artist like i don't know time what like it's whatever it's just not what i'm about so thank you for accepting it i was i thought you'd be later but you weren't you have a lot of block what are you do you do are you want do you have a tv show right now well um documentary now came out but that's like a year ago already i suppose you guys shot it that we shot it already how many were you in this year i think like three or four great and we shot it in england great and nails more fun less i loved it you did absolutely loved it uh plus i love being in england so much why as soon as i land i

every thing that i look at i'm in love with every brick building every taxi i love it so much the feeling of walking down the street anywhere in just england spain mexico uh mexico city iceland i feel that way sometimes you do the full thing i just got back from mexico city excellent yeah but it's i want to tell everybody like i think i'm going to learn spanish i'm thinking about it like i think i might i think spend i'm going to try to learn i think my entire value system is going to change and i'm going to live in mexico city yeah probably four months a year yeah did you really go yeah um it was great apparently that there are a lot of americans moving there that's what i've heard yeah and they all get mugged i've heard yeah i no one had the balls to mug me well

when you get mugged there's a couple moves you could do like okay and then twist okay pull and then once you do this you could push them away so that's it getting mugged doesn't have to be traumatic it doesn't have to be what people think it is yeah well you know yeah your hands up and handing over your money just it can be like a it you can make it teachable you can make it a teachable yeah teach a guy a. You don't have to do. You can tell the guy if you're doing it. And if you know Spanish, you don't have to live like this. No hagas eso, por favor.

And then they learn. But, yeah. Oh, so England, I just love it to death. I love it. Any little bit of it. You know that it's stupid. Do you understand that it's stupid? That it's your own, like, I'm too good for America.

It's that thing. No, no, no. It's not that. It's more like, oh, this place is too good for me. Okay. It's more that. It's more like. And then you make England go like, no, you're good.

Yeah, it's more like that. You fish. You go, I'm ugly. Yeah. You open the, I'm ugly. then you make england go like no we're you're good yeah it's more like that you make you fish you go i'm ugly yeah you open the i'm ugly and they go you're quite good looking don't look at me no it's not that thing of like like yeah i can't handle america i don't want to yeah um in fact i gotta say i do love america like i do love it like oh look art take nothing away which angle is mine is this mine is that whenever i don't is this my angle wait whenever whenever i travel i always miss our drug stores our cvs and walgreens and everything they just that's the one thing i know traveling where i'm like man i wish i could get you have to get a magic marker and some pseudofit

yeah but and like sat in a sandwich now they have sandwiches something like sushi they that's the one thing around the world they have to start getting together i'm like you guys have to stop with these little pharmacies yeah and just little boxes of i'm like guys it has to be come on well let's blow it out go go go go um magic marker that's exactly what i mean also you know even the aisles i think i'm like light it up make them bigger let's come on yeah yeah blow it out blow it out are we doing this or what? Is this a fucking pharmacy or not? Like a little door and they have like lab coats. Enough with the theater, guys.

This was fine for the 50s and the 40s. Yeah. This was fine, but I can't live like this. Yeah. I'm just kidding you for it. Allergy medicine that's like... They don't... You're out of stock.

You'll have it in three days. These are fine. Yeah. These are fine, but you know they're not great. No. I need a choice of allergy medicine. Four different kinds of loratadine. Allegra.

Yeah, come on. Fucking... Big purple box yes make it make the give me make me take in that uh fucking coupon yeah and go to another destination within the giant pharmacy yes we've been we've created a good enough financial system to make for ourselves that's us right and i'm not don't think we need to apologize for it. No. We worked hard to make those happen. Okay, so you love foreign countries. We know that. That's not a block. That's just, this is like the grab ass. This is the grab

ass part of the show. Well, you need, you can't start out like, you know, you have to sort of warm up and say, this is what I like. Yeah, it's not all negative. Some of it's you like england yeah how much time did you spend in mexico city for the spook for the spookies well we shot that in chile in santiago but we so none initially went to mexico city just to kind of scope it out

but then there was like a murder on the set of i think narcos and then we weren't allowed to shoot there not like we weren't allowed i think we couldn't get insurance or something and we know still don't know what the murder was about we it was a notes situation where netflix had given them notes they didn't take them and they murdered them correct my point of view is that i didn't i don't know if those were notes. I think it was suggestion. Looking back. I want to tell them they weren't giving you. They weren't asking.

Change the character's hair. Yeah. That wasn't. That's not a note. She needed to have a bob. Yeah. For continuity. That's the other thing.

I would also like to point out I like taking credit for things in comedy. One of my favorite, Garth and Kat, Saturday Night Live. You and Kristen Wiig would come on and you were making songs up. And let us play some volleyball on your bitch. On your bitch. The audience didn't know what the premise was. No. And I said to Seth, tell Fred and Kristen that they should say,

Seth should say, hey, I think you're making these, I think, Garth, you're making the songs and Kat you're trying to catch on and Seth was too afraid to tell you oh really and then I told you that I pitched that to him and you said I wish he had told me yeah cause it's like

it would have just would have been nothing yeah he was afraid that you and Wig would have been like you're so uncool and like we don't explain premises and like you're so no we would have i think that's what he would have been open to it also seth is really good with that stuff i don't think he's ever said anything to me work-wise it was like yeah you don't know what you're talking about he's got a good brain you're an idiot so that's for those of you watching and listening that's

how we know each other i went through seth yes and he's talked about you for years yes talked about you as well and i've gotten to see you become a genius you yeah you're you you're so fucking good at sketches it's insane that's again very nice i i don't want to derail anything about podcasting yeah or studio hollywood yeah yeah but you're so good at sketches are you doing sketches do you have a sketch outlet besides your really. Besides your Instagram. Like the last thing would be Los Espookis. And that's not really. That's not sketch. Sketches.

I guess Documentary Now would be kind of like long sketches in a way. So that would be my outlet for it. Does your brain still kick them out? Yeah. Do you still like. Yeah. I talked to Carrie Brownstein just a couple of days ago. And just in talking to her, it just, you know, I thought like, oh, this would have been a great sketch.

Yep. And and it's just what can you know, it's already too late. Like a few days later, who knows? Yeah. If it resonates. The fact that you were able to do another sketch show with a different premise than SNL. What were your worries about Portlandia when you started oh what were my worries when we started it all seemed like a lucky break like we did a pilot and then we just started shooting it so I didn't feel worried I've just felt like oh let's oh we're gonna get to do some more of these but did you think like the prep like are we gonna be able to do a sketch show about portland i mean again it's not exactly about portland but it's kind of you know what i mean um no because i had so much backup you know yeah uh with our director and

with carrie that i felt like we had enough and uh it was only our first season was i think six episodes or something something short so it it felt a little bit like i think we can manage to get these together and how many do you end up doing total we ended up doing uh eight seasons so and some of them were like 10 episodes a season so 70 70, 80 episodes? Something like that, yeah. And it never, it was always what it was. Yeah. And we got lucky with the timing.

So it would be over the summer from SNL. Right. No, but I'm saying if somebody told me someone's going to do a sketch show kind of about Portland. Yeah. And it's going to be 80 episodes I'd be like I don't think that's possible and then if they said you I would go

what time is it air send me a DVD what's a DVD I'm trying to think of what the actual number is but a lot something in there. And you were still doing SNL, which is also crazy. Not the whole time, but for maybe a three-year overlap or something.

Do you have a lot of... This is weird. I feel like Jiminy Glick. Do you have a lot of rivalries? I can't imagine somebody resenting you for being good at sketches. Yeah, none. Because it's kind of... It's also so weird it's in such a weird little zone yeah that um uh no i don't feel like a a rivalry with like there's no one resents you no one i don't think so yeah all right i didn't know so either but that's what's so funny about

you is like you're so fucking talented and it just feels like me and Seth talked about it. It's like outer space. Like, I don't know. I don't even know how you think of half the sketches you did. And I can think of sketches. And I'm like, I don't know how. I don't know. Even the thing you did with the one where you guys are like talking in your breath.

Is it me and Vanessa? Yeah. Like the best friends of someone. Yes. He points to us, right? Like with his thumb and he rolls his eyes, right? And I turn to the room and he goes, these cheapskates are here.

How did your person? That's like, but we all do it. Of course. Once you do it, it's incredible. It's someone you love and you're like, oh, that's my, but I don't think,

and then you do this other tone. Like you must have, when you, when you were three sentences in, you must have been like, oh, this is so great. I can't. I think it came from being

at the SNL offices. Of course. And you just shut the door and you're like, you know, so why is he, did you see her at read through? That's also it's like seeing it i'm like i'm pretty sure i know how he thought of it yeah yeah yeah but did it feel hand to mouth in that point of your you got two sketches did you worry

like fuck i gotta i got these mouths to feed in terms of premises like fuck man um let me try to answer honestly so i'm not going you know because now it's easy to go like no it was yeah easy but if i go back to that time every week at snl um there is a feeling of like god i hope i think of something yeah there's no guarantee and you kind of have 36 hours yeah and sometimes what's what's worse is you do think of something and it's terrible uh-huh portlandia no because we had more much more time we had like weeks and weeks to think of stuff and we discussed it but snl luckily I got to do stuff, but, but there's no guarantee. We just, you know, hope for the best. What did SNL do to your nervous system?

Cause you seem impervious to stress. It like really taught me to not worry because it took all the emotion out of being like connected to a sketch right so if i was like emotionally invested in a sketch in my early days if it got cut there you sort of feel it personally then i learned i was like oh it's it's nothing it just washes away like a newspaper so it just it's okay it's okay so it gives you more of a feeling of like it doesn't matter all that matters is like at the end of the year at the end of the season how'd you do that kind of yeah if you don't care was it i don't care do you have to not care so little that it's just like it because it feels like it's arbitrary or it feels like it's just part of

something that's beyond your control and did you realize that after a year or two you were just like hey it took a little it took a while it took i'd say like four years in the beginning you do the math how many times was i on was i on that sketch and then as you talk to people you realize no one's really paying that close of attention no they don't know if a sketch did well or aired or didn't you know it's so because of that you sort of realize like what am i so worried about it all as corny as it sounds it all works out right tends to work out in its own way no matter how hard you try it like it's like the harder you work the well you can't muscle it out really that's that's what i mean so because of that my stress level went down because i'm like it doesn't matter

how much i stress about something and and did you do better after that or did it just you definitely got i got better at it and then enjoyed it more yeah and was there stuff that got cut and you'd just be like no it's such a big nothing that i could barely remember it so in the beginning it was like well what do they mean and then after a while you're like oh it's it wasn't meant to be probably wasn't that great and those elements end up in other sketches anyway like if there's something you believe in the sketch something a line a character ends up in something else anyway so did you write by yourself sometimes and then what about other times well the accent is on writing so i didn't write alone all the time sometimes no um

i uh sometimes i was with uh james anderson great he was great and john mulaney sometimes it just varied you know yeah a couple with seth great sure yeah okay let's talk blocks we got a sense of who you are good your guy just get it and you were i didn't finish my thoughts on snl you were now so the one thing i learned about endings of sketches uh-huh is that the punch line doesn't have to exist at the end of the sketch well i could have told you did seth not tell you what i told you about what i told him to tell you about sketch endings yes and he didn't tell me have the cops show up everyone laughs freeze frame it does work cannot fail it does not fail it says ending the costumes even say ending there's not an other chapter no police uniform equals it's you're all going to jail yeah or everyone we got to get to the x yeah yeah and they exit yeah it is urgency with a it's a thing

uh this is actually true mel brooks said in yiddish theater the end of the first act every play was hey everybody they're gonna have a baby curtain drop um you've had you dated uh leone natasha leone a guest of the great fan of the show front front of the show yeah how are you in relationships i think better now uh that one was like i would categorize as like a very successful relationship yeah you both have series yeah that's that's what matters um i think um much better now the older i get that i think the better i am at relationships what do you have to get out of your system or what did you get better at a fear of not making someone else happy you were trying it sounds like you were pushing yeah in a way yeah same kind of thing like yeah it would be

like the same uh how many happinesses did i give her this year you would ask yourself yeah yeah like what do i have to do what am i supposed supposed to do? Right. And then you stop trying. You used to worry about making them happy. Yeah, or like less about worry and more about acceptance. It's okay. Yourself or them? Situation. It's okay that someone's a little upset right now.

It's okay that today wasn't a perfect day. Right. It's like that's not a disaster it's kind of well that's the nice thing about aging is you just sleep it off yeah it's like fucking you know what we're gonna call it yeah we're gonna go lay down yeah we're gonna wake up everyone's gonna be different kind of tomorrow yeah it's uh it's a magic trick yeah that you can they just it works better when you get it yeah i don't know we're not that anymore i wonder if um that's what why sleep was invented and you know as far as like evolution goes if they were like i can't deal i can't even deal

with this or if god was just like why don't we give it how about everyone gets a break I can't even deal with this. Or if God was just like, why don't we give it? How about everyone gets a break? Eight hours? Is that about right? Seven, eight, six to eight? Like, all they need is three.

No, trust me on this one. Let's do like a full eight. So it's like. Let's make sure we knock it out. You know what I mean? Why have anything residual? Yeah. Just go ahead.

They lay down. Yeah. And then they start over again yeah you're absolutely you're kind of maybe there's something to that let's try and if it doesn't work we'll do something go back to the original but remember headaches we'll bring headaches back yeah yeah yeah or uh like other places they can go to other places um okay so you've gotten do they like that because because the the stereotype is women like you to listen to their issues and you're saying you just kind of it sounds like maybe you just throw your hands up

and go like look you got an issue and there's nothing yeah freddie can do like um call yourself freddie and they love that yeah that always works just 100 i think earlier on in my life i would think i'm supposed to listen i gotta make sure that i do this you know this way and then therefore be resentful about it yeah it's a weird thing where you want to get better at it yeah but but i'm gonna resent you if you make me change too much. Yeah. And so that creates like a tension. So I think it's like moving on from that of thinking of like what am I supposed to do? I had a thought today that you may relate to.

And I said it in therapy and I've never said it before. I said I was talking about relationships. And I was talking about I was like you know what i think i just care about comedy i and it was so fucking liberating where i was like whenever a woman is talking to me about a thing i should be listening to caring talk about us it's a split i go she's talking and bits are coming in and they're not against her it's just this is what the machine does and i'm i i don't want to feel bad about it anymore that's a great breakthrough being honest with yourself but i have the same thing and it's not about comedy what is it bands and it seems like a cute thing to say your bands no no no bands that i love okay yeah i don't want to say it like i'm a hero

like hey this is what i know no no because it's people fucking hate it with that you're in relationships with it's yeah it's not like an affectation like i can't help it i love bands yeah i don't mean it like that i don't mean like isn't this sweet i feel like i've discovered that i think about bands all the time i think about their well-being how are they doing now is that drummer still in the band when can i go see this band it's a constant thing and i will you know as far as like taking vacations with someone i'm dating it's that's a tough thing for me but if a band who i don't get to see very often wants to go on vacation with him i'll go with them but if they're playing in chicago or something i will book that flight the cramps are going to tulum i'm i'm there i so yeah that's like and then yeah and it's full

fan fiction yeah it could be like i mean maybe it's something like baseball cards or something i don't know but like but you're kind of just going it's a big deal in my life because then when i really examine that who is one of the major figures of my life is carrie brownstein yeah it's not a coincidence that she comes from my favorite band right that that was my way in but um yeah so anyway i'm i didn't mean i didn't mean to no no i know i'm saying about your comedy thing i do have to say i gotta think you also think about comedy a lot i do but uh yeah not like they're a band yeah lonely island i don't think about lonely island i don't think

about comedians that i don't i mean i think about comedians in a personal way but i don't i go are they how are they doing yeah how are they doing um uh where are they are they did they sell out that second show do you but you don't I I your bits are you live in a world of bits it's like Mulaney's joke about you at the intervention like Fred imagine for an artist being earnest no I'm always thinking I guess it would be bits but it's more like it's also it's like a little abstract too like it's like and do you do anything about your curiosity about the band do you text them do you know do you largely know them or is it just like now nowadays now nowadays i knew do you know most of them unless they're dead a lot of them are dead

a lot of them are dead um yeah d and it's do you then text them or do you just i do i i i'll stay in touch and but when you go how is how is frank black doing do you then text frank black yeah i'll i'll wonder about um say jay mascus sure and i'll text and just say hi how's it going but that it's that kind of thing it's almost like a family member and that's what's killing your relationships what a shame it's not killing my relationships but it's it doesn't have that much of an effect on my relationships but it's more that like where i think a lot of people are thinking about relationships and like how can I bet on myself? I just think a lot of the time and I'm beginning to think it's not the same amount as everybody else. I do think about bands. Yeah. Well, that's what before we even got no block.

We haven't gotten to it. Yeah. How did you figure out your place in the world? Because you were weren't you in bands? Yeah. And then you did comedy once at a thing, and then it became... What did you think was going to happen to you? I knew I wanted to get to that place.

I just didn't... What place? Wherever David Byrne or Molly Shannon was. Yeah. Whatever that thing... Or Mike Myers. Yeah. Whatever that is called. I wanted to find a way there. Bannon was yeah you know whatever that thing yeah you know or Mike Myers yeah whatever that that's

that is called I wanted to find a way there and I thought it was going to be primarily in just playing in a band then I could just feel like well that's not there's got to be another way there okay so you're in band and you're still David Byrne a musician Molly and Mike are not yeah but David Byrne musician mark mothers about a musician but are still somewhat visual like there's still comedy in what they do so there's still like a message kind it's not just like here's my new album there was like aesthetic to it yes whatever that was i was like oh how do i get to that place yeah and then you did you were in bands that were like just in vans and yeah and it's like not especially successful and yeah and then i i don't know why it didn't occur to me but that

wasn't the way there i just i thought it would be for some reason you kept doing like theatrical shit during shows and you wouldn't tell the other band member and people people would really resent you yeah well kind of i mean a little bit there were things like i did try to say stuff on the mic a lot and i remember in the van i was very like and you weren't the singer and it wasn't i wasn't the singer i had a microphone behind the drums and but there was like something i was going for but i just i didn't know how to get there speaking of microphone behind the drums do you think don henley was greedy do we want the drummer to sing well this is a separate discussion i just whenever i see don henley i'm like of course they're hate him he's the best looking one yeah he he's

a good drummer i don't know enough about drumming yeah good and i guess great songwriter great singer yeah and then singing yeah it just seems like come on man i wonder how they you know designed it they were probably like we want the best guitar player we want the best yeah so then he was like i'll just be on drums i wish somebody would make a documentary about music in the 60s and 70s i know because all the dancing yeah like this yes and the mud cutaways yeah you i wonder i wonder if people from the 60s are like you know we weren't all dancing like that i was i was watching a documentary the other day and it was about they cut to well there's a clarence thomas front line that's fucking unbelievable oh wow that's that came out a couple weeks ago it's amazing he was like a black panther for a year wow it's amazing but yeah there were some where they cut to didn't i actually think i just pitched you a sketch you did

i feel like i've heard about we did we did a sketch that was someone who makes like one more beatles documentary because those are all the same yes Ed Sullivan and then you know and then there's another one there's so many and they're all and we watch them all we watch and to the point where we're just watching raw footage that's how many Beatles documentaries we're like fuck it yeah I'll just watch raw footage post nine hours of raw footage I'll edit it myself Peter Jackson great to You found some more? Great. Fucking don't do it. I know what's going to happen.

If you have any secret recordings, throw those on. Yeah. Unauthorized shit, put them in there. Great. Under a table, 11 hours? I got it. It's the holidays. It's the pandemic.

Yeah. Fantastic. Fire it up. Okay. Okay. So you were, when you were realizing this isn't going to satisfy i'm not at the place this is this is a very funny discussion because i haven't thought this through in these words so that's great yeah great i because when you got an snl you were in your late 30s 34 yeah late so I don't understand

numbers so what are numbers 29 71 alright congratulations great you're a number correct what do you want 100 three digits

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Just pay $5 shipping. That's bluechew.com, promo code N-E-A-L, to receive your first month free. Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast. Thank you, Blue Chew. So you get on the show. How do you get, when you started going, doing going doing more performing were you like were your band people like what are you doing were you kind of like i'm not gonna how do i make money at this

we had broken up as a band um and i played uh with other bands just kind of like part-time and then i started uh doing like i remember in new york people would have like a variety show i would just sort of you know go hey i'll do something on there i'll do and not having any idea i'm thinking like okay what if i do like a self-defense expert it's so funny that i did this it's not funny but no it's but it was this kind of thing i was like i'll do a self-defense expert just 80 of your ideas are self-defense experts we find out yeah that's where all the humor is and i just uh you know i just want to be part of something i was like what is this thing where people are doing songs and then someone's doing stand-up i want to do that

and then uh when i moved to la i started doing that at largo where all these comedians were going up and i was like what if i do something where i do characters i could be the sort of weirdo of the of the bunch and then that'll yeah i just wanted to be a part of something so there was no plan other than uh an emotionally ideological feeling yeah like um i want to be part of whatever this thing is. Yeah. That's the, I think that's a, a under spoken of thing where you're like,

I don't know that, but I don't know how to get there. And I don't even know what it is. Yeah. But there's a, there's, that's exactly what that is. What?

Yeah. Like I want to, and even Portlandia or your types of sketches or whatever it's like ah yeah yeah me and my buddy in college used to call it the sweeper it's like i just want to make a thing that's just like fucking the sweeper yeah ah yeah some and then i'll then i'll be fine like once i do that i'll be fine but then there's always there's always more sweeper too yeah uh once the once the wall street guys get a hold of you yeah so it was there somewhere in there that i just wanted to keep going and then once i did

that i loved it so i would try to come up with other characters i would try to perform more so it kind of um that's that had momentum to it i would like to also say you can there are people that to they have this thing this kind of nebulous idea or this vague idea and they want to get to it and they don't have any talent uh-huh so don't pursue it right but if you have talent and an idea pursue it right i just had to say that because i don't want people to watch it you're welcome i don't want people to watch this yeah and go see that's like me it's not like you i had that with um medicine go on in surgery where i was like i get into this i'm gonna i could do it i feel like i'm a surgeon i want to be at the hospital i feel like i'm a surgeon and you've made your own scrubs yeah and i from like aprons and i did not have the talent no i saw the doctors

and i was like oh they're that's what it looks like to be a talented doctor i don't know what i'm doing yeah and you didn't know about med school and then they told you and were like, I don't like school. I was like, I went to school. Well, you gotta go back. No, I went to school. No, I already went to, will the certificate I have, is that good for medicine?

Yeah. They're like, no. Oh, well then I don't have two lifetimes. I shouldn't be here. This isn't for me. This place is square. And they said, yeah, it's not for you., you know, two lifetimes. I shouldn't be here. This isn't for me. This place is square. And they said, yeah, it's not for you. Yeah.

And you were like, great. And it was too long a goodbye. And they were like, unless you're sick. And I'm like, and they're like, are you sick? I'm like, oh my God, no. Okay. Okay. Congratulations on getting to the place that you felt and couldn't exactly express. Yeah.

Which is... Are you friends with David Byrne? Ish. Now. No, Mulaney's friends with him. I'm just... I don't... I...

That guy's great. Oh, he's fantastic. I said ish just meaning like... No, I know what you mean. You know. Like how it's's i'm not at his house for dinner no yeah do you wonder about him and text him i don't i feel like i don't have to wonder about him i feel like i know what's he's got like you know he's got his broadway show and

yep all that stuff he's on his bike all right let's get into some blocks an hour and 20 minutes into the podcast is this i can't it's hyperbole is a style accommodated heights yeah so we're talking about blocks yes so my i took this to mean you don't mind if i use that for the promo do you so we're talking about blocks we're talking about blocks yeah please please use all of this make this one long reverb it so we're talking about blocks done put some delay on it yep so we're talking about blocks i took this Put some delay on it. Yep. So we're talking about blocks. Block, block, block. I took this to mean what gets in the way of something that you love to do. And for me, it's work.

So I made these very sort of work-related, but they also apply to other parts of my life. But heights, a little bit like saying that I think about bands all the time, heights does get in the way of things that I want to do. does get in the way of things that i want to do and there has been work that i've well there's one job that i turned down uh because it was spider-man it was spider-man were you supposed to be spider-man i did spider-man it's all cgi oh are you in spider-man i'm in a couple of them which ones am i in that's the one i should get out there but i do feel like it's a block because you straight up turned the job down yeah and that's like something i hate to how high as a top of a hotel and i was like meaning what do you how do you know where like in you read it because in that's how much of a block it is where i'm like this is a window

washer i'm like where is this being shot on a soundstage no there's a hotel in toronto and we're shooting it up and first of all that's fucking stupid that's what i thought i'm like this is hollywood toronto we we're gonna send you up a window as a window washer they were like no it's faked because you're on top of the roof but you're you know it's next to whatever it was take a picture i'm so with you i'm like sound stages yeah that's we built trans it's called a trans light yeah anyway anyhow a million dollars million dollars yeah all right well i took the money anyway i was like pay me no yeah yeah and then i'll give you a yes or no um you can do that now yeah you have yeah you have to yeah

because of heights but it's you've really turned are you afraid of heights? I'm terrified of heights. Or you don't want to work around... I am so afraid of heights. How are you on airplanes? Not bad. If I'm in motion, I don't mind. It's being in a building. Is it like the Mr. T thing where they give you milk and you pass out? No. And then you wake up?

Oh. No. Talking about pitifuls? I'm pitiful! No. No, it's exactly like that. My hands get sweaty. They get get clammy it's clammy it's clammy um okay like here's here's another example to promote portlandia uh i had to go up to this uh 44th floor or something in new york city for their uh serious radio offices okay their futuristic

way of having their building was that the studios were on the inside and the hallway was on the perimeter uh yeah that it's on sixth avenue yeah yes and i had to like walk with my hands like sort of cupped to the wall and i call it a block because i'm an adult acting like that's a crazy move to be like i can't look out the window and don't let me look out the window and then subsequently i was like i can't do that studio anymore so you know what's funny and this is like most things you know when you think someone doesn't like you or somebody's being an asshole and then you find out that they have horrible anxiety. Yes. Or like you. If anyone was looking across the street, they would go, Fred, relax.

No one can recognize you. Yeah. Like you're on two sketch shows. Yeah. Combined. Yeah. You're not in one of the korean kpop yeah yeah i can't think of one the dead zone is that one dead zone dead zone dead zones kpop band right um they and people everyone died that's like they all

their fans died yeah yes at their openings and stuff but to your point it's like they all, their fans died. Yeah. Yes. At their openings and stuff. But to your point, it's like, no, I have a, oh, I'm sorry. I have a crippling fear of heights. Yes. When did you first realize it? That's what I'm curious about. Because you're a kid. You go to a tall building.

And were you like, I don't like trees. What was it? In the 90s, a friend of mine was was gonna walk me to like a an area of the golden gate bridge where you could see a beautiful view and we parked and we started walking your friend ted bundy my friend ted did you know ted bundy i did not well how well can you know ted bundy i've heard a few different stories i'm not talking about the serial killer all that stuff there's a person uh-huh ted same nickname yeah same last name also yeah um it was a person who yeah is like who who happened to murder but that's not the way he

was lame too believe me he was lame and dumb. It wasn't always murder. It wasn't always murder. Anyhow, so you went on the Golden Gate Bridge. I didn't even go on. As I was leaving the car, I froze. And I was like, Jeff, I can't go any further. I can't move. I can't go towards that.

And it sort of took place. Like it sort of took hold. And I recognized it as a real fear and like it's kind of one of those things that you can avoid it it doesn't seem like it's no but you get thrown into it uh so you can avoid it but sometimes you just get booked into a hotel right and the hotel will have an elevator on the inside. But it's made of glass so you could see out into the lobby. And everyone takes for granted that you could just go. But I'm like, I can't go in the elevator.

I'm sorry. I know. It's not a disaster. No, no, no. But it's a block. Yeah. It's a block in my life. Look, it's a block. Is it one of the great blocks in the history of podcast blocking yes

um but and okay and it seems like this one i like here's one i like and viewers if you listeners if you don't think that's a you know legitimate block call us tell us yeah please i'll argue it big set up an 800 number for us you set it up you yeah like we're happy to listen to it yeah yeah you got to set it up you got to put the passwords in yeah you got to go block helpline yeah you know what i mean like under the when they go at the what should we call block you got to do that you do it we're gonna check it but by the way don't do too long a password no four digits tops we're not worried about people hacking into but let them go good let them check it yeah you want to you want to host fucking come host the podcast without us a break fuck jesus theater slash long written yeah passages so i already love this i don't even

know what you're talking about it's a block it's just a block like um by the way i've never been offered a play but when if someone were to say to me like i just have a block of like you know are you gonna turn this into a play are you would you like to be in something where you've got to memorize long passages and then night after night speak at the same theater it feels like a like i have no weight into that i have no aspiration for it you kind of go what did i what am i proving yeah larry david did a play three four years i don't know five years ago yeah and as it was told to me he immediately regretted it like signed up wrote the play and then was in it and within three performances was like i this is i don't why did i agree to

this yes this is such a waste of it's just nothing it's like you're not even traveling when you do i'm like same city yeah over that's that many more chances to like mess up the lines you know what's hard is the block the blocking that's what you feel real that's where you feel like crusty the clown yeah where you're where you like fred oh come on let me tell you something and you're just like i had it in blah and when i did in new york i had blocking every night That's the thing that got me was the same. Like, so. Yeah.

And you just feel like. Like, what if I don't do it this way? Does it matter? Then what? I had to do it because the lights were going to turn on there. Yeah. I had to be like, why can't the lights just be. well because it's five thousand dollars a week but but the thing that i'll tell you the thing that you actually do key into is if you wrote it you're like this crowd sucks or this

crowd's good or this line should work or i'm gonna try a line here or whatever but if it's play you can't rush it and then if you do a great one what it happens it becomes a memory of weeks and weeks and you're like oh that was a great show thursday last thursday and then what i guess well you taped it so then there's yeah that's where it lives but that's not i i hear you yeah you've never have you ever done a play never did you were you a guest on oh hello yes they did it on broadway okay so they did you know what i mean like they had room for improv but that's a fun version then there was will ferrell's show that was really fun so sure but i'm saying as a general block there are other avenues that seem open and that one just seems like a closed avenue of like

i i can't walk towards well what do you think of musicals i'm not really a musicals person i liked david burns show oh my god we're talking about right but david burns show by the way it's a talking heads concert pretty much yeah like i'm sorry to, I loved it. I love Talking Heads. I love Sound Making Sense. I love, I literally, I love everything about it. I went, I would have gone again. It's a Talking Heads concert.

Yeah. With, with, with This Must Be The Place. Yeah. Thrown in. Yeah. So like, that's a concert. But musicals. I, I, I have a hard time enjoying them. thrown in yeah so like that's a concert but musicals i i i

have a hard time enjoying them i don't even know what they're doing i i don't either or what they want from me i had a joke one time where i said people hate me at musicals because when they start to sing a song i always stand up and say just tell us but that's how i feel like what do you do when you realize they're gonna sing a song you're like what the fuck are you yeah about the the bus station yeah and it's by the way and those are full songs that's what i'm saying when you go oh wait this is the there's a chorus and then there's a chorus yeah and what am i supposed to do with it like i can't like clap along or like i just like listen watch and listen to it this whole thing happened yeah like are you done they're probably now there's another one and now there's another yes they're probably not done i it i think that can you can split that in a pretty gendered way i think there's something

about musicals that women like that but it bounces off it just bounces off heterosexual men as heterosexual as we are we're so heterosexual so hetero yeah yeah did you feel the gravel in my voice i put some in there for you um okay so yeah i'm with drama i feel like i'm not hired to do that like i the world sort of hired me as a comedian so i want to respect that yeah well sort of like hey i'm good with comedy great uh i'm lucky that i get to do it so i'm i'm comfortable there that's what i like um and that offer hasn't come my way anyway so it hasn't really come up but would you feel the same way about a drug like oh no no i'd enjoy it okay um one time i was watching i went to the movies with natasha yeah and we're watching this movie.

It was an indie movie. She's like, is anyone going to do any acting in this? And it was such a good point. You know, that sort of like barely acting. Yeah. That I took that as a lesson of like, I think I'm going to try really hard when I act in something. Like I want to, you've got to deliver try a little bit yeah and so ever since then i've always put in more of an effort to like really not just uh rely on charm is that what this

is is that what's happening right now you got it wow um but I like acting. I like it. Nobody's saying you don't like it. I'm just saying the theater and Fred Armisen in The Iceman Cometh is probably... You're going to say we should do this on a rooftop somewhere and then cancel.

Yeah. I have a great idea. Make them rewrite it and then be like, I just remember I'm afraid I can't do this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I put everybody through this. Okay. This is a good one. Venues with the word comedy.

Yeah. Is it presumption or is it- Presumption. don't say it is it once you say it it's not gonna be that all of those things so how about the magic castle see i'd like to do comedy at the magic castle because there's a different people come in expecting illusions. Yeah, but when you... And this could be... Maybe I'm saying something more about myself that I don't think of myself as like...

Well, there are people... Speaking of magicians, Derek DelGaudio, who did In and Of Itself and directed my block show on Netflix, is so embarrassed by magic and being a magician. Yeah.

And he's one of the best card people on earth will not do it really won't do it in person won't never literally never I've spent 200 hours of the guy never once has he but he's good at it he apparently is one of the best wow and does not do I know him Derek Delgado did a show called uh in and Itself. It's on Hulu. Oh, that guy. Yeah. Oh, that was great. Yeah.

Don't expect it if you're friends with him. You know him? He directed my show. Yeah. Like I know him really well. Won't do men. That thing was great. Yeah.

But what came out of it is like. That was a deep show. I know. You're like, what is this really about? Yeah. That was so good. Yeah. But he is embarrassed by magic,

which is why he made that show. Because he couldn't bear to be... I texted him a photo. I was in Thailand doing a show over New Year's, and there was a magic show coming up and the magician's name was tada and it's like and i just sent him a picture i was like look i get it that's like a comedian named haha there is a guy named haha davis on instagram who's funny oh really yeah and he is named haha okay no offense

so no no no no no take nothing away your friend did a really funny little trick with performance as he's performing i think he does this thing where he's almost going to do something and he decides against it on stage i'm saying i think it's a good move meaning like you know and he just goes to another part of the yeah yeah i like it feels feels for you or something did it every night for three years and i i figured i was like i bet you did that every well i don't i don't even remember but he he had to do that show he did it for like three and a half years it was a huge hit so he was like i'll just keep doing it but great but so it's the embarrassment that's probably why you like you would never do your comedy is not if it's i'm gonna go up and talk here maybe there's something here yeah yeah but i don't know if not god bless yeah yeah it. It's definitely more about me,

but it's just like when there's comedy in the venue, I'm just like, yeah, I don't know what it's going to be. Okay. Writing a sketch. Knowing UCB people, knowing Paul or Seth, all those people, they would say, what's the game? Right? And I would go, it took me a while.

I was like, oh, the premise? Yeah. When you would pick sketches, would you go, what's the joke? Did you even think of it like that? Never. It's more like a feeling. It's like, what is it about this thing? Maybe there's something we can do.

It's more like it's not definite. And you probably don't like even saying it. Yeah. Or it's more like it's not definite like uh definite and you probably don't like even saying it yeah or it's more like wouldn't it be funny if um let's take for example i'll think of a portlandia sketch where uh me and carrie did a couple who was excited about breakfast meaning the night before they're getting all their breakfast stuff ready and they're excited for when they wake up. We just practiced coming in. Good morning. Good morning. And that's just like, I don't know.

This doesn't sound like a comedy sketch. No, no, no. Of course it is. It's like, I don't know what the joke is. There's no, you know, it's, but it's more of a, because my feeling was like, I get excited for breakfast. So would you guys, okay, so you have that idea. You would bring it to her. What were the beats in the sketch?

It was just us getting things ready. But was it like talking to Bisq? Was it, what do you think got laughs? The details. So it's like, it's the night before like oh tomorrow's breakfast let's get everything ready and it's the amount of stuff we were getting right the coffee machine ready yeah you know it's the excitement that's what the sketch and would you when you guys are talking about it would you we would like start at you know the different writers would add stuff to

it like oh i feel yeah i noticed this happens when i'm excited for okay and but i'm but would you be like that's fun would you just go like that feels right it feels like let's do it like let's do it let's try it let's see what that looks like that'll be good i'm so literal yeah that i would just go like i would before i write anything or a sketch i'll just go like here's the premise this beat this beat this beat this beat this beat and like those are that's the construction yeah would they ever fall apart for a lack of construction absolutely and then they just you just never see it that's right no i feel it but i'm saying like snl it would someone say even my pitch for for garth and cat yeah i think seth was already that's too much construction

maybe would you smell a rat on that would you be like uh no because i can tell i can tell that's your orientation of just like or or what I would say out loud is like, oh, sure, whatever makes you happy to define it, great. But that's not how I'm thinking of it. But is there an air of condescension to that in your tone? Whatever makes you happy sure strikes me. All I'm interested in is getting through that moment of the day. So if someone came up to me and was like, you you've got it you know we got a great okay whatever

you know are we gonna do but you wouldn't think you would just go this how about when you're editing would you just say cut that beat cut that moment would you oh i for editing uh i stayed away from uh that whole session because the editors were so good at finding jokes right that i learned just stay away i went the first couple seasons on the first season you know and all of my choices were not based on humor you know what i mean like that's a cool shot or whatever. Yeah. And the moment I left them alone, all of a sudden they had these amazing.

And you would like it more. You go, Oh, this is so much funnier. I'm like, Oh my God, that is what, well,

that's funny. Cause that's entirely construction. Yeah. And you have, it's funny that you don't like doing it, but you appreciate it when it's done to you. When it's done, yes. It's like a nice surprise to you. Yeah.

They improve it and they're like, oh, this is great. Yeah. That's fascinating. Because it seems like that, but you're at least they always ended up with some. Your stuff isn't like amorphous or gooey. No. Yeah, they were efficient. Okay.

Very good. That's venues where the availability of breakfast. That's a block. And it's a sketch. And it's a sketch. I wonder if i knew that that was coming up it's just what came yeah i wouldn't put it past you yeah when i work i do think in terms of like okay am i gonna have enough time to get ready in the morning

to like really have a coffee and have breakfast and like be ready for work do you sit in silence much yeah coffee time coffee time because i'm picturing you in a breakfast nook yeah by yourself yeah cup of coffee and there's nothing in front of you yeah maybe my phone or like ipad or something okay i didn't even see that much um but it's dead quiet yeah so i'll arrange travel around it if um hey we're gonna pick you up at the airport and then we go to a fitting i'm like then i'm i'll be there the day before so that i can like wake up in a hotel and like have a moment are you a room service person no down to breakfast so i don't like i don't like like someone coming goons coming into your room you don't want them to smell what your natural vapors

are you don't want them to see some of your socks how you lay your stuff you are you positive you don't like that because i feel like you have a ton to gain by having an absolute stranger. By the way, you don't want to add a class dynamic to your morning. You don't want to add, hey, come on in. Let's feel the difference between my life and your life. Let's put an accent on you. Let's make you an immigrant i wouldn't have it any other way let's really let's drive this thing home let's start differences

let's make you a little older yes kind of like drive home the fact that your life didn't work out the way you want but i don't know exactly how old you are though i know like let's let's make sure you feel a little humiliated yeah in your at seven o'clock in the morning wearing a uniform yes and i'm wearing the opposite of a uniform i'm wearing my reset outfit my my tops tops i put this outfit they gave this to me yeah because it's money means so little to me it means nothing to me and in fact here's your tip here's your tip i don't even know i'll put it down and then but i see that there's maybe already a gratuity i'll be kind yeah but sometimes i'll be kind

other times i'll ask you how much of this gratuity you're getting yeah and then i'll work backward from there yeah because i didn't get rich by accident no i got rich chiseling other people yes this included so you don't want to see you don't want people to see what how you sleep like your bed your cover stuff i i also want to experience that sort of part where like they've got to make you little offers of things that you can do yourself yes yes sort of like the coffee i pour the coffee for you plastic yes i put this here yes i put this here every little step yeah and we're this close to each other in a hallway yeah with with a moving table or a tray whatever that didn't doesn't get over the thing easily it almost it some things oh yeah and he has to like yeah

calm down like a horse what a way to start the day what a way to start the day yeah puts everything in stark in just stark relief of what the world is yeah and you don't like it not crazy about it so you how about if you could stay at a place that's got free breakfast are you prone to like a i don't even know it's uh embassy suites i think some of them have free cereal i like like eggs and stuff. Okay. You need heat. You need like preparing. Yeah, and I like going someplace. I like going downstairs.

I like sitting in the little... Shower before? No, after. Okay. After. Breakfast is first. First thing... So you wake up and you're hungry. Yeah.

I'm not hungry for four hours. What? Ever. What about coffee? I'll drink coffee, but only if if it's gonna make me late for you god i'm starving in the morning i'm not hungry for my stomach is like my most of my body for the first three hours of every day is like what what's going when are we we should probably go back to sleep we let's go back to bed right

really the every day my whole life people go you have a good night's sleep i've never had a good night's sleep i wake up i just i'm like all right i'll start but i don't my whole body is not doesn't want to you don't get a good night's sleep every night i mean look between you and me i I got a 75 last night. That's great. How many hours do you sleep? 13, 14. No, I sleep seven.

I've gotten better. Yeah, I've gotten better. But I've never had a sweet dream. Have you ever had a sweet dream? No. Yeah. I don't even know what people are talking about. I don't dream very much, or if I do, it's like little bit of something but like it'll be like a trailer for a dream yeah

that's it they should have those i know um uh okay so but who's they right you know what i'm saying ultimately um but i i sleep well but i'm starving when i wake up that's funny that we're different about food do you i mean because my day is like no i try not to i try to eat like around eight or so seven or eight sure sometimes a little earlier but during my day i'm like breakfast first and then i start thinking about lunch i'm always like so three meals oh three meals. Oh yeah. I too. Lunch is the first meal of the day. Sometimes I fast. What do you do when you go to like a friend,

big dinner? I go, I go around all that stuff and there's dessert. The, the giant platter with the pig. And yeah, yeah. Uh, there's a chef with a giant.

Yeah. People laughing in the background. Yeah. Yeah. Smoke. with the pig and the yeah yeah there's a chef with a giant yeah people laughing in the background yeah yeah there's acoustic guitar back there smoke even though you can

where can you smoke yeah anymore acoustic guitar but it's not regular guitar no it's like a yeah yeah

that French woman character that you used to was there what was her name you mean Regine thanks for having us I'm Regine

her name was Regine. Yeah. She was very sexual? Are you going to give me a neck kiss? It's just an intellectual. Oh. No small talk. Okay.

But it got sexual? Yeah, it got sexual, but that's more like sensuality, like intellectual sensuality, like the intellect to really enjoy. Like to imbibe a person yeah yeah yeah do you like france yeah okay have you dated foreign women yeah it feels better doesn't it doesn't feel like you're dating like a person and a nation

doesn't it feel like you're dating like a person and a third nation it's like a little it's a little extra it's a little something you you feel international yeah you know what i mean like you feel like oh i'm in the world i'm i'm an adult yeah there's that's an adult thing to do like like you're like from like a 70s movie yes you're like Bertolucci character or something. Yeah, yeah. You get it. Writing a full-length movie. Yeah, that's a real block. I should have started with that one. I don't want you to beat yourself up about this. No, but we can re-edit it.

Yeah. Your guys can. Your guys can. Actually, this is a very real block that's not like... It's not about affectationsations and personality it's like a real i cannot write a movie i can't i don't know how i don't know how to write anything longer than half an hour or an hour i just can't imagine it i don't know what it looks like on paper when i've read scripts i'm like oh my god how many pages is this oh like this happens and then when i've read scripts i'm like oh my god how many pages is this oh like this happens and then

when i hear about all the rules about how things are supposed to yeah on page whatever this is supposed to have um in the same way that i am not uh you don't when you see on page 70 you're like how how do i even get to page 70 who's gotten to page 70 that's that's what i'm saying i'm like who has the capacity for this yeah you know little tv show great this you know nice and this is like so digestible i i movies is like how people write movies i will never know well you know most people are not good at even the ones even the people that write them they're so hard yeah to to do that he is five of them a year good they make 90 it's insane and then it's supposed to be like meaningful like a tv show you can sort of like this one's a little throwaway one this is just

a fun one this is it if you write a movie that's it like hey this is like my life you know yeah so this ending i can't i can't deal with it well that's here's what i would say to you i don't think you're supposed to i don't think you're supposed to do drama i don't think you're supposed to write a movie i think you're supposed to do drama. I don't think you're supposed to write a movie. I think you're supposed to do short things, nonlinear. Let somebody else make it linear. Freddie goes on field. And then you go, you know what i mean and i do are you do you

are you like a beater do you beat yourself up not too bad you're not that very neurotic i don't think right i don't think so maybe about travel and stuff like that little things but that's like what breakfast availability yeah or uh closeness to other people you want to be closer no no like when i'm traveling i don't like everyone just sort of bunched up oh you know like got it crammed into a small space all right and what happens i just don't like it no i don't freak out or anything okay like i do think like can we slow it down with everyone can we not have so many can we i'll buy out this whole section in the you know like in the jetway and stuff when everyone's just crammed in and well that's just a dumb system yeah i'm like let's just do five at a time let's do five at a time slow down because we're in a rush to like be up against the

door and like you know yeah there's obviously for this when you're in group you're in a high group right and then you get and then they're still they're still i'm like are we who are these are these from the last fight who are why are there people why are there eight people like in front of me clearly the plane is not in a rush to go so then we don't need to be in a rush to get on have you heard and it's statistically proven when people have to walk through first class there's a higher level of air rage i think that's a mistake to make people do it that way i do too i wouldn't mind if they started seating everyone from the backs i don't care not what is that fill yourself up

it's what i don't care vehicle i don't care yeah it's a weird thing it would be like packing a suitcase but you pack the top layer it's exactly and then you everything else you it's like yo do underwear and socks for people who design things how did they get that wrong when that's their only job is like hey we deal with airports yeah you know this is all i think about security yep time we put little clocks everywhere we gave people maps on their phones so they can get to that that's the one thing that they're like i don't how would you do it okay i'll tell you put the fucking door in the middle of the plane and then they don't have to yeah we can split or they'll be happy and then everyone will be happy so you you're not a worrier. Are you a worrier?

I don't think so. Why did people break up with you when you broke up with them? Or why did they end? How about what do your friends think of you? What friend fights do you get in? I feel really loved by my friends. I really feel like whenever I get together with my friends now, sometimes I look at them.

I'm like, wow, I've known you for decades. And that feels really good yeah there's no issues no i'm trying to think of friend fights do you feel bad for being how old are you something 56 not married not kids any any shame guilt remorse life is it's like the best it's ever been like i like my life the way it is this outfit i'm not psyched about this i also thought we were going to do mostly audio you thought that part of it would be video yeah i thought mostly audio like you thought you'd do like a fun trailer yeah yeah i you're i mean i was you know you we don't nobody ever and

everybody doesn't gotta bleed yeah you're some people are not neurotic yeah i'm trying to think of like neurosis you're not you're not neurotic but you're so observant that i would think you'd be neurotic but i also am not surprised you're not neurotic like it you seem like pretty do you ever see that sketch with uh joe montana where it's the voiceover i feel like conan wrote it or franken or somebody where they would it was like a sitcom and people would go like you know leslie i could talk to you for days do you add like the jumper bones a bunch of set it up set it up set it up and then joe montana goes like hey it's fine with me if you stay in the living room it won't bother me at all it's fine with me if she stays in the living room it doesn't bother me at all it's just

identical it was it was on an snl it was snl yeah but that's like you like there's no it's you're thinking of bits you're thinking about bands. Yeah. And it's great. I know. No, I'm serious. No, no, no. But it is. It's great. Like, it's fucking great.

It's my pleasure. Meaning, whatever you got to do, whatever kind of system you want to run, keep giving me the material. Yeah. And I'll enjoy it. but it's a mutual feeling I feel like you entertain me all the time I feel like we stay in touch of course right but I've got a horrible

process I'm in a lot of pain I've never been in less pain in my life it's great you strike me as someone who's pretty self sufficient I am now but I wasn't in a lot of pain no you know i'm not i've never been in less pain in my life it's great someone you strike me as someone who's pretty self-sufficient and i you i am now but i wasn't i did i would my shows are basically about how i like self-judgment so it's more about self

it's finally a place of self-acceptance and like today i said the thing about comedy in therapy today, like my thousandth session with a therapist. I was like, oh, you know, the most obvious thing. Yeah. The thing that's obvious to everybody. Yeah. I've been trying to be different to like get to be more like other people. And it's I'm i i'm retiring guys nothing better than therapy all right so you do go to therapy oh yeah five days a week uh what are you what are

your issues family issues you know and just the way I grew up. I mean, I had okay childhood, but, you know, there's, you know, there's some stuff here and there and, um, but it's just, you know, yeah. Dealing with that. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. Yeah. And reframing things that I think are one way. And then my therapist sort of saying, well, you could see it this way. That's the whole, I love it. I love like a perfect way to put see it this way that's the whole i love it i love like perfect way to put it yeah that's the whole thing yeah it's just like how what story am i telling myself what if that wasn't true right then what yeah and you go oh it's better that's great it's great for making uh boundaries too boundaries it's the only it's again aging yeah you just go like nope boundary yeah a friend of mine was talking about how

lesbians have great boundaries this is great boundaries and they all they're not worried about what men think and they're just like no no this is what i'm like and yeah i've decided there's a boundary here it's not negotiable yeah um but yeah boundary are you were you bad with boundaries yes sort of like anything was sort of allowed and and it's okay for me to sort of say no anything was allowed and then you'd quietly resent them yes great would there was there ever a mutiny yeah there'd be a mutiny it would sort of like build up until i just didn't want to be there anymore but that's but it's a self-made thing so yeah you know yeah and you're like you and you and then you once you realize like no one made you do anything you kept yeah but you created an environment that you went to yeah but yeah it's impossible it takes in your 50s guys you'll get there you'll

get there in your 50s how old are you i'm bleeping both so I hope you're happy you're probably Seth Sage right Seth's gotta be no bleeping him all how old is he he's younger than me yeah

but you know you know what I mean I hear you. Fred Armisen was here, everybody. Did you see it? He was here and we podcasted and people can't get over it. And there were more blocks in the last 90 seconds than the 100 minutes that preceded it. We'll scatter them throughout.

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