Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Gabriel Iglesias

Episode Date: January 11, 2024

Neal Brennan interviews Gabriel Iglesias ('Stadium Fluffy' on Netflix) about the things that make him feel lonely, isolated, and like something's wrong - and how he is persevering despite these blocks. ---------------------------------------------------------- 00:00 Intro 4:40 Upbringing 11:44 Managing Expectations 21:17 Losing Relationships 32:24 Simple Pleasures 39:50 The Past 55:30 Therapy and Drinking 1:02:24 Upside ---------------------------------------------------------- https://nealbrennan.com for tickets Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81036234 Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle  ---------------------------------------------------------- Sponsors: https://hellofresh.com/nealfree & promo code: "nealfree" for free breakfast for life Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Your teen requested a ride, but this time, not from you. It's through their Uber Teen account. It's an Uber account that allows your teen to request a ride under your supervision with live trip tracking and highly rated drivers. Add your teen to your Uber account today. Hi, Neil Brennan. This is the Blocks Podcast. I should have waited 10 seconds to start the intro, but I started.

I'm still chewing gum. And my guest today, let me tell you about my guest today. I'm still winded. That's what your guest is. Yeah, well, you didn't tell me I was on the third floor and there's no elevator, but that's okay. Let's just. We've got. He's so heavy.

He breathes heavy because there's three flights of stairs. Back in our day we used to call it husky husky okay yes i'll go with uh so yeah so which i'm a little out of breath my guest today is a lot out of breath but it's it's from the steps but it could be from all of his accomplishments listen to me he's been doing comedy since you were 15 16 i guess officially since i was technically 21 okay or 20 20 when were you on all that all that when i was 20 about 21 22 okay so around there so i thought you were younger i look really young i had braces and you know i've always had this this nice complexion and my chubby

cheeks and i always had those uh kid-like features you don't get in the future let other people compliment you sorry and then you go oh is that true but you were you were nice you told me what to say he's had he's always had kid-like features uh really nice complexion nice smile good energy um you've been popular as far as i'm concerned for 20 years and uh i saw you do a show with chappelle in 2004 and you you fucking murdered that outdoor radio thing in the Bay Area. The Wild 94 comedy jam, yeah. Yes, you destroyed. It was the first time a friend of mine, Bajan, had seen a Spanish punchline for a Spanish audience.

And it was like, he was like, what's happening? Because when you're speaking English and then you go into spanish punchline it destroys white redneck i'll tell you what mexican redneck i've never done how to speak any spanish except for babble my my point is gabe iglesias everybody gabe Iglesias, he's got multiple Netflixes. The last one was in Dodger Stadium. Two shows at Dodger Stadium. True? Yes.

I feel like I've shut you down when I told you not to compliment yourself. I don't want to get yelled at, man. No, I know. I yell at you. Gabe Iglesias, I was saying before we started rolling, when I saw Victoror webbanyama the basketball player seven six can shoot can dribble that's how i felt when i saw you do standard where i was like wow this guy has can do voices you're gonna get it

stop doing that incredibly lovable uh can write jokes you have have so many gifts, so congrats. And you've been, how long have you been doing arenas? 10 years, 15 years? The arena thing is coming up on 10. Yeah, you gonna do an anniversary or anything? No, no, I'm just happy I'm still working. Yes, there you go.

That's the spirit. It's a daily celebration. Do you feel that way? Do you feel, are you one of those people who is, you, it's great, gratitude is easy. Well, gratitude is easy because I know that I'm not supposed to be here according to everybody's rules or whatever. So every day that I get to do it is what I am grateful for. Okay, when you say that, because I say as somebody who knows comedy pretty well, like when I saw you, I was like, oh man, this guy's got a lot of talent.

What do other people say? Well, you know when you say that because i it speaks to how we all have this inner monologue of like they never believed in me and then you're like yeah i'll add another show at dodger stadium but the haters well i think you first of all i think you do need haters uh it's uh it's nice to have a different perspective uh but every day i am uh i am very grateful because nowadays you never know what's, you know, tomorrow's not promised. And whether it's health or whether it's the career or whether it's woke culture, whether it's, you know, you never know. The aliens are showing up. You don't know what's going to happen in Russia.

So every single day is very much a blessing. And I am grateful to still be doing this. And it's easy to get to. You're not just saying that. That's not lip service. That's like really. No, it's very, it's genuine. I mean, it's like, you know, this is year 26 for me and to be in show business for a year, much less 26, is not something that, you know, it comes easy. So the gratitude and just being appreciative of everything that's happened is very real because yeah, you know, I'm not supposed to be here.

Who is supposed to be here? Who is supposed to be here? In my eyes, everybody who is supposed to be here, I guess, is here. Right. People who've had those. No, but you're here also. Yes. Yes, I am.

But I guess because I've always been the, you know, the Mexican kid from the rough neighborhood of seeing, you know, my mom, it was just my mom. No dad in the picture. There was, you know, my mom, it was just my mom, no dad in the picture. There was a, you know, welfare section eight where we're dealing with all these other things. And so to be able to navigate through all of that and eventually get to a place where I could put myself in a position to follow a dream and pursue it enough to actually make it happen. That was, you know, I feel like I had a lot more obstacles just to get to the starting line just from like growing up the way you grew up are you uh only child or you got uh last of six oh youngest six great i'm also the youngest youngest apparently are uh it's the best good

at comedy it's the best statistically uh it is well do you have the thing i have a couple observations about the youngest you can see how you're gonna age where you're like oh i gotta pay attention to my uh my jawline or whatever because i've well my siblings had a different dad so uh oh you don't have all right i have this sorry i'm aging differently i've seen how they look okay good genetics yeah all right good and then but you also were they around uh you know what they were already grown up and out of the house by the time i showed up there's about a 14 year gap between my sister and myself so you're kind of an only child kind of an only child so yeah they would just pop in and like look around and see that i

had the room and they're like oh look at you you got your own room i'm like oh yeah i didn't know that that was a thing yeah i guess they were all you know sharing back we also want to say like hey i'm still very poor i did i do have my own room where it's like older brother and sisters are like they think you have a great it's like yeah but there's still the same obstacles you had like like how can you shit on me but it's because they you know yeah, I guess it's that whole sibling. Well, I know that with them, they had it very different than I did. And they like to remind me that I was it worse for them, apparently, because they would say you had a different mom than we did. Oh, sorry.

And they're like, you got to stay home and go to school. We had to go to school in Mexico. I'm like, oh, yeah, that sounds bad. Why did I have to go to school in Mexico? I'm like, ooh, yeah, that sounds bad. Why did they have to go to school in Mexico? There's a whole long story behind that. But yeah, I got to go to public school and they were shipped off to Mexico to go to school over there. You're one of the few people who went to LA public schools and was like. Public schools, yeah.

And I thought it was bad until, yeah, they started telling me, yeah, at least you didn't go to school in Mexico. I'm like, well, okay. Okay. And clearly there's still some bitterness there. But yeah, I was the favorite, Neil. I was. You were the favorite. I was the favorite child. I definitely was. Well, you were always probably pretty charismatic, right? Or whatever, likable. I think that I just, I wasn't a dick. And so if my mom was to tell me something, I wouldn't question it. I would just do it. There was a couple of times, you know, when I remember,

I remember giving her attitude and the, my mom would just kind of give me a certain look and kind of like make it – give me the mama bear. I'm going to pin you next to a tree and freaking beat your ass. And I never challenged her. I just – I knew that she had it in her, and I just like, all right. I got in line pretty quick. Were you Catholic? You know what's funny is that my mom – well, my siblings all went to Catholic school in Mexico and my mom herself, I don't know what her actual faith was because, and this is crazy because every form of

religion was represented in the house, but I wasn't, I was never, you know, taken to church. I was never taught anything from the Bible. So for example, in the house, you'd see pictures of the Virgin Mary on the wall. You'd see crucifixes over the doorways. There'd be Ganesh figures in the house, Buddhas. My mom wore a Star of David around her neck, and she would light all kinds of different candles. And when you're a little kid and you see this, you don't see nothing wrong with it. You don't know to question it. And it wasn't until years later- Now you know you got to pick one. Well.

And you got to really fight everybody. Yeah. So my mom never, she never, you know, got me into church and she never told me to pray. She never taught me how to, you know, any of that. It was just be good, be nice to people and they'll be nice to you. How does she explain it? I never asked the question about all the the figures i just thought there were cool little things around the house you know yeah i had transformers and my mom had a buddha and a ganesh it was like that's her thing

you know and she had candles ganesh makes it sound jewish i think it's ganesh i apologize ganesh jew it ganesh sounds like something like a like a dish like yeah it does um that's a she sounds like she did have who would bet on every on both teams in the super bowl yeah cover the spread just like let's see how we can she was very much into a lot of things but she'd never she never got me into any of them and so that's why when uh you know growing up whenever i'd have friends hey you want to come with me to you know come to my church or this or that i'm like wow, wow, that's, you know, I don't really do that. But sure, you know, I've gone to several different types of churches to just see what it was like.

But I was like, OK, no, I'm good. This is a kind of a broad question. How did you, because I think the point of raising kids with religion is they get like a moral framework. How did you build a moral framework independent of church, religion, faith? I'm just curious because I don't know many people who didn't grow up with one. The fact that my mom was very, very involved in my life, and I don't just mean like, oh, she was a mom and fed me and took me to school and said, you know, take your vitamins and stuff like that. I mean, daily, I would spend a lot of time talking to my mom and she would tell me stories about her growing up. And of course, the neighborhood that we were the neighborhood we were in was was not a pleasant one.

There was always shootings or, you know, the neighbor, the neighbor was always bullying me. And so it was one of those things where my mom had like, well, this person's this way. This person's that way. You should be like this. And give me examples of people in the neighborhood who had good personalities. And you could tell they were just nice, genuine people. But there was always that comparison. This person's nice. This person's not nice.

And they were right in front of you because it was that kind of neighborhood. Right. So I think that's where I got a lot of the, this is the comparisons and just my mom too. She was always very nice. She was kind to people. Was mom 1.0 the other mom before you came along? Was she nice? Oh, whoever my mom was before I came into the picture, I don't know because that's the mom that sent her kids to Mexico, but I don't know what the whole story the picture i don't know because that's the mom that sent her kids to mexico but i don't know what the whole story is i don't know what you know because i've never wanted to ask because i feel like if you open a certain door you got to prepare yourself for all the bullshit that comes with it yeah and i'd rather i like peace i really do so i'd rather not you know

i'm okay not knowing because that's before my time and it doesn't affect your business that's mom 1.0 yeah she's still with you no unfortunately my mom passed away about 11 years ago oh i'm sorry about that um because i was gonna say it sounds like i would be prying but you've seen this podcast i like to pry so um your disposition seems like you want to please people. Always. Okay, your first block that you've sent in is managing expectations. Now, that seems contradictory to want to please people because the people pleasers I know are like there is no off switch

and then they end up being exhausted. What is your feeling about expectations? Like you brought candy or you brought boxes of something here just as like a nice, you'd like really want to please people. So I'm wondering is, does it, is the managing expectations that run up against that? I always want to try my best to make sure that everybody's good. You know, that's always my thing. Are you good? Everybody good? Just, you know. And unfortunately, the managing expectations part is because once I feel like I've done everything in my power to try to keep people happy or comfortable is, you know, once I feel like I am done and people still want more. That's when I find myself in this weird situation of like, OK, well, what was I supposed to do?

How could I've handled that differently? Is it me or is this person just greedy? Is this person taking advantage? And so unfortunately I found a lot of situations where people were taking advantage and they did expose my generosity and just the way that I am. And so that's why it's hard trying to figure out what it is that people want. I try to just automatically assume that if I'm a certain way or if I try to just, you know, be welcoming and giving of my time, my energy and my my good energy, not like I had a fucked up weekend, but more so like, hey, man, how are you? And people are still not happy with that. That's when I find myself having to like figure out, all right, OK, so what do I got to do?

Did you used to go like a way past your comfort? Absolutely. And I would just, I would beat myself up. Like, why, what am I doing wrong? It was always, what am I doing wrong? Not is this person just a greedy prick? Not is this person an asshole who just can't, you know? And it's funny, the more successful you get, it's not clearer. No, it's actually, it gets blurrier and blurrier. And someone asked me the other day, they said, you know, It's not clearer. No, it's actually, it gets blurrier and blurrier. And, and someone asked me the other day, they said, uh, you know, success is all good. Having money is all good. Is there anything you miss from not having money? And I said, you know what I miss from not having money is I never had to question who my real friends were. There was never any

doubt. I knew exactly who my friends were. Whereas now it's like, oh, you know, you, you, you meet so many people because of what you get to do and you're exposed to the planet. And it's it's really easy to meet people, but it's really hard to figure out what people's intentions are. What's their agenda? What do they want from you? And that's why I always try to just let me just let me just be welcoming and giving out the gate so that hopefully I hit that mark before they ask for it. I see this two ways because I find myself in it and I've seen other people go through it. I think that as comics, we tend to be self-centered, right?

Kind of necessary for the job or the or you you just get used to the positive feedback and you're kind of like i i can i get this kind of all the time a little bit so we're selfish and self-centered and then if we bring other people into our lives we kind of it's all kind of still about us our our, our career and our, like, I did this and I did, I'm going to be here and I'm going to, you should come and whatever, whatever. So we're selfish. And then, so then they cut, not like they don't have a choice, but they get sucked into the life.

They get sucked into your life a little bit. Like it becomes like rock had the joke about like they're playing tambourine for you you know what i mean so we're selfish and then they go well all you do is talk about yourself and your career anyway so i might as well get something from it and then we go like you're all you care about's my career and it's like same to you all you care about or me and a lot of other people i know it's like we are very career centric and self-centered so i i can see both sides how do you uh gauge your selfishness uh i've actually you know and it's funny because yeah a lot of times it's uh it's about you know what we do as entertainers and then anytime i feel that i've tried to separate and make it about someone else

and what they're doing and you know whatever else is going on in their lives, they're the ones that wind up bringing it back to me, you know? So it's like, yeah, no, no, no, no, let's, you know, let's, let's go into, let's, let's, let me focus on, on, on your world and let's, you know, talk. And, and, and for some reason it just winds up coming back to me. Because they probably get insecure. And so that's, then I'm like, okay, so, uh, you know, what's, what's going on? I had a conversation with my brother yesterday and, uh, I haven't spoken to him in over 11 years. So it's kind of funny that, funny that, that I'm here today talking about it and the entire conversation,

you know, never once that I bring up my career, what I'm doing and all he kept talking about was my career, what I'm doing and, and oh when you and your cars and this and this and that and blah blah blah and i'm like dude i didn't talk about why are you bringing this up i haven't spoken to you in 11 years you know can we can we catch up how are you what's going on with you it's hard because everywhere he goes he spun it immediately back to me and i'm just like so even if i try i find myself you know that's hard but i will say um it's interesting your life's interesting you know what i mean and a lot of places your brother family goes you come up so when they see you they kind of there's a thing of like they when they see you

they resent you because everywhere they go you come up and then they're also like proud and maybe envious and there's just a lot of emotions that come up. And then they're also like proud and maybe envious. And there's just a lot of emotions that come up. When it's in managing expectations, are you direct about it? Or are you more like, hey, tell. You know it's hard to be direct. Because anytime you're direct, you hurt feelings. You make people feel uncomfortable.

And then they start going, oh, well, okay. Well, I guess it's like that. It's like, come on, really? You can't just have a conversation. You can't. Can we at least talk about the fact that this is getting a little weird versus just, you know, being defensive and coming at me? So that is very challenging.

And it's it's hard to be direct. Definitely if I'm drinking, I'm very direct. But for the most part, I'd rather not deal with problems when I'm when I'm having a couple of drinks. I try being as as nice and as subtle, hoping that they get the hint. And sometimes people are just, you know, they're stuck in their ways and you have to eventually, you know, all right, dude, here. And then you got to hit them with it and hopefully they get it and they respond to it in a positive way, seeing that

you've already made all these different efforts to try to communicate your point across to them. But sometimes they don't. And then that's when you got to deal with, well, I'm out. Well, okay. Well, then that's how it is. And then you get ghosted for however long. And then maybe they eventually go, well, can we talk? And then hopefully you can, you can find the common ground.

The older you get, the more you cycle through, like you're going to have feelings. That's going to take a few months. Then you'll come back. We'll be better. We won't have the same problem. We may have a new problem. Then we'll have to deal with that. I try my best to ask questions to the people that are around me.

I always, hey, man, how you doing? What's going on in your life? And I listen to people's, the good that's going how you doing? What's going on in your life? And I listen to people's, you know, the good that's going on and the bad that's going on. And I try to anticipate a potential conversation or something that might come down the pike. And so I'm usually pretty like, hey man, you know, you're dealing with some stuff. Why don't you take a day off? You know, especially the people that work for me or, hey hey, man, here's some gift certificate. Why don't you take the wife to a movie or this or that?

So I listen and I try to get ahead of it. You do that AMC movie thing where you see as many movies as you can for 30 days. I've never done that one, but it sounds really cool. I would have loved that. Are you able to keep employees for a long time? You know what? I have two employees that were my best friends in high school, and they're still there. Great.

They're still there. And above all, the loyalty is just incredible. There's something to be said for that. Yeah. Because I've had other people. Because they're not good at their jobs. Let's be honest. I'm not going to say that they're not good.

I'm not going to say that they're not good. They take a lot of pride But I have had other people Work for me that would complain And say oh they should be doing this Doing this doing this But you know what those people are no longer here So what wins

Well that is the interesting thing of like Loyalty it's like You can kind of figure it out It's huge Who's not going to huge and you can also who's not going to stab you in the back right you're not going to steal from you who's not going to take advantage of certain things yeah so i'm very lucky that i still have friends that that were my friends before comedy friends that were my friends before i had anything the friends that were with me when i was broke yeah you know so that's i cherish them very much. And, uh, you know,

that's great. And are there any friends that you left that you could go back and get and be like, come be my driver? I think, I think that there's, uh, there's people that have, you know, entered our lives and, and, and, you know, been removed from our lives for whatever reason. And sometimes there's an opportunity to go back and find a place if there's, if, if they want to be involved. But a lot of times I feel like anytime someone exits your life, it's probably for something that's not good. And I have a question, which is based on what we're talking about. Cause your second block is losing relationships. Are you ever wrong? Absolutely.

And do you tell the people? I'll be the first to admit it. I'm the first to admit whenever I'm wrong. How long does it take? Well, it takes as long as it takes me to figure out, ooh, okay. But could it be like years later? It can be years later. Absolutely.

And you've called the people and being like, I was dead wrong. Yeah. Oh, there's some stuff that went down 11 years ago with my mom and the siblings and stuff that I feel like I could have done better in hindsight. But at the time, I was very passionate, emotional. And, you know, at the same time, I'm trying to juggle this career. And so, yeah, the decisions I made back then probably weren't the best. And it did take me some time to come to grips with the fact that, yeah, I probably shouldn't have done or said that. And so, yeah, I'll be the first to say. Do they accept your apology?

It's weird because I think that for me, if I'm going to, you know, bear the soul and apologize and let you know that, hey, everything you said was absolutely right. I should have done this. I should have done this. I should have done this. I'm terribly sorry, man. If we can hang out again, I would make it a mission to never put myself or us in this situation again. If I bear my soul and I apologize.

We're never going to have another mom that dies. And they, well, you know. You have my word. Stop it. again if i bear my soul and i apologize we're never gonna have another mom that dies and they well you don't have my word stop it and if they accept but then they continue to beat me up yeah and it's like yeah you know what eat it yeah yeah eat a dick i just told you you're right and you still want to kick me it's hard though dude you dude. You know, so it's like. It's like you ever hear, whatever, the term sore winner. Some people are sore winners. I can be a sore winner sometimes where it's like,

I had a girlfriend one time where I go, this is a three apology infraction. I'm going to need an apology today and then another one toward the end of the week and then another one next month. There's more.

Because it's my own pettiness. But that's good that you apologize. Yeah. But I'm saying like once a person accepts, you already hugged it out. And they still. You can't go back. And then they still want to. And you know what?

And if they still continue to. Yeah. Then it's like, well, why are we even sitting down? Why are we talking? Why did I take the time to agree with all your points and say, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. How's information travel in your family? Meaning just gossip. It's yeah. It's a family. We're Mexican dude. We, that's our, that's our thing. Gossip. Chisme. We love to gossip. We love good chisme chisme is gossip and so uh yeah

somebody does something in the family uh word gets you know there's one aunt one sister boom they start you know i think that's most families because there's no there's no healthy it's all power oh and by the way it's super toxic oh super toxic oh the whole family or just that portion of it? Well, there's a lot of shitsters in the family. Yeah. And no one's really trying. How can we put this together? How can we make this work? It's usually the younger generation in the family.

The older ones, they're just stuck in their ways. And they're just going to freaking come out swinging daily. The niece and nephews are the future. I mean, that just happened in my family. They all went to Ireland. I didn't go. and my brothers and sisters were sparring like i knew they would and but my niece and nephews had like the best time because they've kind of been kept from each other because of the parent relationships and then they're all together like they're all fucking insane let's us have fun well in the younger generation too they were the ones that

were told to shut up and listen, pay attention, and that's what they did. And they've had the time to watch all the drama between all the older siblings and aunts and uncles so they can already put together, oh, they're all messed up.

Yeah, yeah. That's exactly what happened to my family. See, whites and Mexicans, we're not so different after all. Yeah. Just so we're all kinds of fucked up. down the wall hey hey hey hey hey hey hey you know you're now you're being emotional um okay and what have you done in terms of losing relationships are you philosophical about it what like what do you think of your mom your dad like

what do you think of like i know your mom passed what do you make of it what do you make of like life death big like the big questions well the relationships that are no longer here because of death or because of bad choices either one i mean you know you can't help the the death one death is is inevitable it's all it's going to happen happen all of us so it's kind of one of those i have an i'm an anti-aging doctor i'll hook nice little themselves yeah yeah down the street um there's uh i've had a few deaths in the family or just death in general that that affected me clearly my mom was one of them and it's you know in the beginning is when it's the the hardest but you got to find ways to cope and get through it. I talk about my mom a lot in my shows, and I feel like that's helped me out

a lot because it's my way of just constantly still talking about her and keeping her, you know, memory in my mind and stuff. And I always like to highlight the good that she did in my shows. I'll point out a couple of fucked up things, too. But for me, that's how I've managed to highlight the good that she did in my shows. I'll point out a couple of fucked up things too. But for me, that's how I've managed to deal. I've never had – I didn't get a chance to go to the funeral. That was part of the big fight. Oh, you're kidding. You're kidding.

People didn't like that? What's the matter? You were doing a show. People didn't care for that? That sounds like something a family could really rally behind. You know? people didn't care for that that sounds like something a family could really rally behind you know my uh well my excuse for not going to the funeral was because i was very much upset with my brother and i felt like me showing up was gonna not be productive it wasn't going

to be helpful it was going to be very loud it was going to be passionate it was going to be dramatic it could potentially have gotten violent because of the level of just frustration and just like bitterness that was going on at that time. So that's one of those things that I'm still dealing with and I'll have to live with for the rest of my life. But dealing with relationships that are no longer around as far as like things went south, I always question, all right, well, what led to that? And that usually helps me process and helps get me through. Am I in a better place now because this person is no longer in my life? Yes or no. And if I feel like my life is worse off, then what did I do wrong? How can I fix or change whatever it was that made this person leave. I'm very self-aware that, you know, if I'm the problem, then, you know, I get it.

Sorry, I didn't, you know. Do you ever go like, I'm the problem and I can't change? That was an easy cop-out back in the day. That was definitely something I would say. It can be an easy cop-out today. Gabe, listen to me you could still use it I think it also depends on

how much value you have for the person you know for the other person for the other person yeah that's when you're willing to alright look I get that certain things that I do might not be beneficial to the you know keeping this relationship where it should

be. And and then you have to do the math. All right. What brings you what's going to make you happier? The whatever it is, it's that you're doing that bothers this person or letting go of whatever it is that bothers them in order to maintain this. And yeah, that's a that's a tough one. That was a tough one because there's you know, you always want someone that's just going to accept you for you. But then at the same time, you put yourself in their shoes and you're like, yeah, all right, maybe I'm a little selfish right now. Right. Maybe I could just quit that. Did you change?

And were you kind of like a little kid cleaning his room? Like, oh, all right, fine. I'll be on time or whatever the problem was. The problem was is that the the damage was already done so once i was in a position where i says you know what let me let me just try to let me make this change it was a little too late got it and what was her name kidding um yeah exactly yeah exactly but i but i do feel grateful that that person is still in my life not in the same way. But, you know, I think we're all focusing on who this probably is.

Yeah. You know, fortunately, we're both a little bit more grown, a little bit more mature and can look back and go, OK, you know, it was fun when it was fun. It wasn't fun when it wasn't fun. And moving forward, can we just can we at least be friends and civil? And I feel very uh you know happy that it's a little bit more than that uh it's not what it was but you know what is yeah um you know we're having this cryptic conversation no i know yeah uh yeah uh but but it is it is uh changes are always hard no matter who you are change is always hard. No matter who you are, change is always hard. And admitting that is probably the first part. And then what are you going to do about it is like, all right. Okay.

Here's a question I've listened to you talk. And are there people, if they heard this podcast, would be rolling their eyes? No, because I think that I've been very honest about everything. And especially the me admitting that I can be wrong. Me saying that I can be wrong. I can be, you know, because I'll look at things logically. I'll be passionate in the beginning, but then I got to take a step back and go, all right. Okay, that doesn't make, yeah, all right.

I was just loud. So if somebody's going gonna roll their eyes uh then yeah i'd have to question like did you even hear what i said you know whether your new year's resolution is to save money eat better or stress less hello fresh is here to help you do all three say hello to your most delicious year yet with fresh ingredients and chef crafted recipes at a price you like delivered right to your door. Each Hello Fresh box is packed with farm fresh ingredients and everything arrives pre-portioned right to your doorstep for less hassle and less wasted food. I did it guys. I did Hello Fresh and they

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Simple Pleasures is a block for you. Is that a good block or a bad block? It's a good block. I find that every now and then I'll get a wild hair up my butt and I'll go buy a stupid car that I don't need. Yeah, I'm happy the day of and I'll drive it around and it's great. But then the next day it's like, yeah, okay. No. All right. Whereas having a good conversation and laughing with a friend or even meeting someone new and just be like, oh, wow, I met somebody like I was getting a coffee

and I had this good conversation. We're talking about the game and having a nice, pure moment that has nothing to do with my career. These just little tiny little nuggets. If I'm at the ATM or something and someone's being really cool or just like, oh man, look at that. Or you see somebody doing something nice. I saw this guy bring food to a homeless guy at Chipotle. He was outside and, here you go you go buddy i got this for you i'm like how cool is that man look at that there's still humans there's still people that give a shit and have have hearts and are kind i go that was really nice that guy did that and now and i got to see that i got to see a a pure simple moment that cost me nothing so i just got to see a pure

simple moment where you pronounce chipotle appropriately, which I only hear white people say it. So it was exciting. When you say it one more time. Chipotle. Well, I could say it any different way. I could say Chipotle or Chipotle. Yeah, no, it's pretty exciting. I could put a little Antonio Banderas on it.

Chipotle. It's pretty exciting as a white person to hear it said with all the flair. So it's. Little moments that bring a smile to you that like, wow. Do you still buy the car and all that dumb shit i will i do yeah i'll show you in the parking lot if you come outside no thank you it's cool i live here um yeah the yeah and do you is that a real thing or is that you being a rich guy going like the human touch is a thing i miss that i don't get

to feel anymore and now when i share a small moment or is it just like you were always uh you always liked people and you always liked small moments with people i've always liked small moments with people and being able to just engage and be cool. You know, no one wants to argue. No one wants to, at least I don't. I don't want to detach myself from everyone. I always try to, you know, be close and around people. But sometimes you need to back up. So I do miss having, like, you know, moments with people and just simplicity.

I love simplicity. When I have my dogs with me, dude, it's just like, you know, my dogs don just simplicity i love simplicity when i have my dogs with me dude it's just like you know my dogs don't give a shit what i do they just want to come up and they just want to look at me and i'm just like oh like a little simple moment simple pleasure yeah yeah it's not a it's not a rich guy saying that that's the guy that just you know hey man i like my dogs if i see somebody walking their dogs you know like oh you know just a moment like that where i can be like oh oh, what kind is it? You know, I ask questions if I'm at a PetSmart or something, you know. So animals definitely bring me a lot of.

You have a kid? I have a son. And how old's the son? He's going to be 26 this year. Oh, wow. So he's like an adult. According to the law. He's my kid.

Feels loaded to me. He's my kid. He's my kid. Feels loaded to me. He's my kid. He's my kid. And do you, did you have a bit about him? You did, right? I've had tons of bits about him over the years. And I told him the reason why I talk about you is because you don't listen. So this is the only way that I could get my point across.

Does he get the point across? Well, he wears deodorant now. So yeah. Oh, that's really funny. One of the things I used to vent about was that he would never wear deodorant. That's really funny. Because, you know, when you get to, what, 12, 13, 14, that's when you start all of a sudden having these aromas coming out of you. Yep.

Yeah, they come out hard. It's also like a note, like a scent that you, like, it so distinct from like a 14 year old like your b.o when you're that age it's just like atrocious um and was that must be well i guess he's an adult but was the him raising him like was that a lot of moments of that like my my whole thing with him was you know i i wanted to make sure that i always reminded him hey look i'm out here working and when i work it makes it so that there's a roof over your head food in your belly and things for you to play with i was always telling him look i never yell at you i don't hit you and that i don't know why i always made that a point to say to him

hey look i never hit you I never yell at you. Right. So can you just please do certain, like, that was always the way I'd start the conversation. Can you just, can you please do that? Look, we all know I don't hit you. Can you please do that? And I still tell him that. Don't forget, I never hit you. Were you smacked a lot as a kid? It's not that I was smacked a lot, but I did see a lot of people get hit by their parents. Yeah. You know, I grew up during, you know, we grew up during that time where, Hey man, you got to keep your kids in check. You know, there was no timeout. No, no, that was, you know, it was like, all right. Yeah. And do you think there's something to that way to raise kids? You can go either way with that one.

Some people will say definitely, but then there's some people that will abuse that. I saw both growing up. I saw some people that it kept their kids in line and they're better, better people because of it. It reminded them to reset them. Hey, there's, you got to be a certain way, you know, be respectful, be kind, be this, be that. But then there's others that, you know, unfortunately the parents went a little overboard and now those, those people are messed up. So there's that fine line. Did you know anyone whose parents did bits about them? No. How did that happen?

So me talking about my son was my way of, and I used to say it too. I was like, I says, I don't hit him. I don't yell at him. I go, but I will embarrass him. And then my son goes, dad, that's called shaming. I go, you know what? It was a different time.

Yeah, it's a long time ago. We're talking 12 years ago. It was a different time yeah it's a long time ago we're talking 12 years ago it was a different time we had no shame back then yeah but yeah i now you can't shame nobody because it's like oh yeah it's like so i how are we gonna learn that's what i understand it's like how do you learn shaming physical violence isn't the best but it's like not, it kind of works, works in China, for instance. And shaming, how do you, a lot of these things take a level of emotional equanimity, you know what I mean? Like emotional smoothness on the part of the parent and time. And people don't got time and they're,'re hopped up yeah nowadays everybody like you need to

talk to them well no clearly talking didn't work and this is why we've gone to level b on nc but you can't do that now you got to stay at a you got to stay at a and then yeah and then just watch the kids walk all over the parents so that you know when you're at the store and you see the kids acting up that didn't happen back then The acting up did happen for a minute. And then all of a sudden, it didn't happen because they were put in their place. Yeah, and the kid didn't talk for a year and a half. But the point was made. The point was made.

Very different now. Very different now. But yeah, my son's 26. And I still, from time to time, will talk about him in my shows. But I try not to be, you know, I'm not beating them up about it. But, you know, every now and then I share a story. Yeah, why not? One of your final block is the past meaning.

Meaning? Well, like we said earlier, I was talking about how, you know, there's certain things in the past that still haunt me. The thing with my mom is definitely a big one. Should you have gone to the funeral? In hindsight, yes. Do I think I would have done something stupid? Absolutely. And would I be paying for that now?

Probably. So it's kind of one of those like, I miss all the years. Could you have sat in the balcony? You know what I mean? Is there a way you could have? You know, you always play those scenarios. Adult leash, right? A leash on you.

Is there anything that you could have, that could have prevented it? You getting crazy. You know what? I thought about like, who could I have had with me to have kept me in check or kept me from doing something dumb? And no one, no one could have, could, there was no leash that, that could have kept me in check or kept me from doing something dumb. And no one, no one could have, there was no leash that could have kept me from acting out. I feel like there's no question I would have acted out. Would you today?

No, no, absolutely. You're just more mature. Absolutely not. You could go to the, who you are today could go to the funeral and would know to control yourself. Yes, absolutely. What's the difference? The difference is now I understand the bigger picture would know to control yourself. Yes, absolutely. What's the difference? The difference is now I understand the bigger picture, whereas back then I made it about me. I made it about my feelings and what was going on with me versus looking at the overall. Like this was my mom.

I should have been there regardless of how I felt about my siblings or what feuds were going on or, or the level of, of, of rage or frustration that I was dealing with, you know, today I would make it about, I would remove myself from it and make it about the greater moment versus, you know. Are you, are you're skinnier than you were, right? Yes. My heaviest, I was 437 pounds. There was a point in time where people kept saying, oh man, I tell my friends all the time. I said, I can't believe I took a picture with Ralphie May. I'm like, oh, my God.

It was a point in time where Ralphie and I were right there, man. And I'm like, oh, God. Hey, you know, I had a few times where people called me Ralphie May. And I'm just like, all right. Well, when he died, were you like, okay. At that point, we were already hundreds hundreds of pounds apart got it pounds apart got it like i said my heaviest was you were up to 600 kidding i got 437 was the heaviest now i'm probably around around 350 is that where you do you have a goal with that or do you even are you

like i'm good i've been i've been this weight for a few years now um i mean you know i i rock a monitor for my diabetes so i keep my sugar in check. Great. I see the doctor all the time. Doesn't mean that I'm, you know, that I'm healthy, but I'm a lot more at least aware. And, you know, I take my meds and, you know, I'm constantly getting checkups. Could I work out more? Absolutely.

Could I eat better? Of course I could. I make no excuses. How do you think of it? Do you just think of like, it's my life, it's my body my body i want to just like i just don't want to work out right it's simple i just fuck i don't want to sweat and go and live shit you know i'm comfortable in this room with air conditioning and the recliner i just bought it's nice what's funny is most people are like you america yeah that's most people that's most people's attitude and do you feel like if

your life's shorter fuck it it's hard it's hard to say it because i'm like it's hard to say it out loud but i think that a lot of people think that like i don't want to say it out loud but a part of me is kind of like you know it's like i don't want to start working out and all of a sudden russia gets pissed off i like how you keep bringing Russia into it. Like, I could work out, but Russia. I could, but Russia, man. The aliens showed up. I don't know.

Like, aliens are coming. I keep hearing. I don't want to waste my time. COVID-32, man. You got to enjoy life. Yeah. Well, no, but I'm curious, because I'm very health-conscious, vegan, et cetera,

don't really drink, don't spend money, whatever. Of course, because of comedy, I'll die way before you just because that's how life's funny like that. But I would, I feel like, uh, I wish I had a little more attitude of like, ah, fuck it. It's fun. Like life's fun and it should be fun. And like, if it means I'm not the right way to the right glycemic level, what are you going to do? I'm trying to still,

uh, have fun, even though I feel like every year that I get older, I'm like, I'm starting to do things. Ah, maybe I shouldn't do that. You know what?

I don't need to go to that party. It's, it's late there. There was a shooting last time. Let me just stay. So I'm starting to make decisions like that. The Russians got there and were shooting everybody. Yeah, they were blasting everybody.

Fucking Putin. So I'm starting to change in that way. So I see eventually I'm going to get to that. Let me just walk into Whole Foods real quick and see what this is all about. I don't doubt that I'm going to get to that place. But right now I'm still like and you haven't had any like scare like you haven't had like a thing that made you go i need to i've had a bunch of scares uh when i was right past them you know what i unfortunately i was that person who was smoking a cigarette the doctor told him if you

don't stop you're gonna get lung cancer and die and i was that stubborn person and the doctor told him, if you don't stop, you're going to get lung cancer and die. And I was that stubborn person. And I'm like, well, that's my life. Was it literally cigarettes or it was food? No, no, no. I never smoked cigarettes. Oh, got it, got it, got it. Of course, it's food. But, you know, going to the doctor and dealing with anxiety, depression,

freaking diabetes, high cholesterol, high blood pressure. You take a lot of shit? I take cholesterol because I – Yeah, I take, you know, like Lozartanan and i take a couple of different things to to regulate my sugar but again uh i'm a different weight and i'm dealing with things differently whereas before i wasn't taking any medication got it was none that was were you supposed to be and you weren't taking it probably i i didn't want to like when the doctor told me you're diabetic i'm like i figured i wasn't even like concerned it was there was not the doctor told me you're diabetic, I'm like, eh, figured. I wasn't even like concerned.

It was, there was not like a, not me, you know, I'm wondering, okay, well that explains the blurry vision, you know, that explains why I get sleepy. You had the blurry vision. I had friends that had the blurry vision and it was like, dude, I'm sure you get like blind for a sec, right? You look at the TV and then you'll, you'll hit guide to see what show you want to watch. And then you're like, whoa. And it's just, it's fuzzy.

And so I realized that like I would go a week without eating bread or pasta or candy. And like I would notice a difference in my vision. You can see the guide very clearly. My sugar would come back down and it would level off. And yeah, my vision would get better. So I could tell. And you got to watch. You got to catch my Law & Order episodes.

Probably. Because you knew when it was coming on. Yeah, man. So when the doctor told me the first time that my health was out of control, I didn't take it serious because I was younger and I figured I'm good. I'll deal with it later. And you also have like, ah, it's kind of my brand my brand i got i got the i was afraid of that in the beginning i got the art made i was i was afraid of that in the beginning but i think now at this

point if i was to lose you know if i was only 180 pounds and i was thin i'd be okay you know you know what i mean it's like the personality is already there no matter what. If he's 600 pounds or 200 pounds, he's still big boy. Yeah. Energetically, you're fluffy. Yeah. And another thing about the past, not just like a situation with mom or things that like I've had the past come back to me. Like I recently in the last year reunited with my dad who I haven't seen in 15 years. What was that like?

You know what? I feel like this version of me was able to handle it. I was very respectful. I was able to make it a productive reunion versus the person that I probably was 15 years ago. And you had monologues written back then of the ways he fucked you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should have.

Where were you and all that. What's crazy is that my father himself was an entertainer. He was a singer and he was touring. And so it was interesting to talk to him knowing that that was his career and having that understanding of like, well, shoot, maybe it was my mom. You know, it's like maybe she was the one. So it's kind of like. Yeah, that is a funny. That's a funny point in life. Maybe she was the crazy one who wouldn't let it go like she was the one stalking him at the shows because i know because i've had those situations where it's like yeah no i don't

feel the same way you know oh well yeah it's like it's you have to like each other the same amount or it doesn't work like are you entirely sympathetic to your dad or you're just more open to the idea i'm more open to the idea Plus he's 80 years old now. And you could tell like with him, the way he would look at me, like there's so much just like, you could see a lot of regret in his eyes. A lot of just, God, I wish I could have done things differently. It's, it's not like, uh, I've heard of situations where, you know, people meet their parents or whatever that they, they didn't get a chance to have a relationship with and they're just kind of like whatever. Like you could see the pain in this man's eyes.

And like when I give him a hug, it's just like he wanted to dissolve in my arms because he's just like, oh, my God. Like, you know, there's there's no it's funny. At 15 years ago i don't think that i could have done that right and or you what you would have been the dissolver you would have been the one who's like you were just no i would have been pissed i would have just i would have still had that that chip on my shoulder but again there's two sides to every story and now knowing the lifestyle and just what it's like uh what the expectations from people are and who knows what his life was back then it's not like he had two families or anything not that i know of anyway

but um i don't know also singer last name iglesias plus i think not being my mom also wanted him to to stop being on the road and performing she wanted to be, get like a regular job and be home kind of a thing. Were they like together together? Well, we never had like three of us in the house for more than like maybe a couple weekends out of the year. So it was like, I didn't, I don't know him every day, him taking me to school. Like, no, it was just, oh, he's here.

Okay, he's got to go. Was he like a hero or it was just like some guy? You know what? My brother was more my hero than anything because he was the one that was there on the regular, not's here. Okay, he's got to go. Was he like a hero or it was just like some guy? You know what? My brother was more my hero than anything because he was the one that was there on the regular, not my dad. So I was like, all right. And I never missed him because like how do you miss someone that's, you know, you can't miss something that you never had. And you're so, in a weird way, it's almost like you're parenting him a little bit for his, like he's got the, he's the one who's emotionally fucked up about it. You're like, nah nah it's okay buddy

you know so when i did talk to him uh what was important to me was to just let him know that i didn't hate him how did the meeting come about uh the meeting came about because i had a cousin in mexico who reached out to me and uh she's like hey you know i'm your cousin this and this and that i'm like uh what do you want yeah how much how much and turns out that cousin's a doctor. And she's like, I don't want anything from you. I just want to let you know. I have cholesterol medication for you to take. Nice, free. I heard. Very cheap.

I heard. So she tells me that she hangs out with my dad regularly and that I come up in conversation and she's like, his birthday's coming up. Do you want me to send him a message for you or anything? She was just reaching out. And I said, well, tell him. I said, hi, his birthday's coming up. Do you want me to send him a message for you or anything? She was just, you know, reaching out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I said, well, tell him. I said, hi. Hope he's well. I figured there's no harm in that.

I'm not, you know, I'm not saying, hey, let's hang out. Let's do this. Let's do that. But when he got the message that I said hello and I wished him well, all of a sudden that sparked something there to want to have a, hey, can we, you know. And then I found that I have two sisters that I had never met. And so there was a thing where- So young is that included in the six or you're-

No, that's in addition to. So like younger sisters. Okay, great. It's funny because I'm the youngest of six, but I'm the oldest of three on his side. Funny thing, I got my first ever show in Mexico. First of all, congratulations. Yeah, I got my first ever show in Mexico.

And so I thought that was a great time for us to- What are you doing? I was in Mexico City performing. Were you doing an arena? What kind of venue? It was a big theater. It wasn't an arena. I'm not saying it like –

No, no, no. How big? No, no, no. I just wanted – In English or Spanish? English. Great. English.

I speak Spanish, but performing in Spanish is way different. Yeah. And I still – You got to wear sequins, right? I think – You have to wear a lot of sequins. A lot of sequins. Like feathers.

I ain't about it uh the original idea for us to uh hook up to talk was i wanted to actually invite him to the dodger stadium taping uh i thought hey man you know uh having parachute in that was the plan yeah right no i thought that hey look your kid turned out okay not only did it turn out okay you know i thought that would be a part of me was like ah it was too much of a spectacle you know maybe that's not the best way to come back in you know like hey yeah and also talking about jumping the shark yeah it's like how do you know how do you just go get something to eat after that yeah it's hard let's yeah we're we're we'll go to peaks meet you at staples no we're just gonna go to a restaurant we're going to cheesecake factory dad um did so we hooked up in in mexico and i got

to meet my sisters we did a whole dinner it was really really nice it was great conversations with everybody and we all just kept looking at each other because it's like you know the features that my father and i like as a kid you can kind of see it. But as adults, man, the eyebrows are this bushy, the same type of eyes, you know, cheeks that you can't see. Is he funny? He's very, very charismatic. Yeah. He's very charismatic.

He's really, he's witty. He's super witty and he can engage with the whole table. He's got a real nice presence about him. And so I can see why my mom uh you know aside from you know you look at his old pictures man the guy's a good looking dude so you understand why she's loving it i was like hey man you know no no heart my mom told me one time about how as soon as i saw your father i knew he could hang his pants on my uh on my nightstand i remember she said in spanish it sounds cooler in english it just still sounds

pretty well it's kind of gross but like but i like it from a mom you're like all right um that and do you feel do you feel holer from being having your dad around did it feel like a it it did feel like uh had you healed it before you got in touch with them do you know what i mean i was good i was good i'm like look uh you know it before you got in touch with him? Do you know what I mean? I was good. I was good. I'm like, look, you know, it's easy to say woulda, shoulda, coulda. But man, I turned out OK. Not only did I turn out OK, I'm doing very well.

And I don't feel like I'm a fucked up person for not having you in my life. I was not like an abusive partner. I wasn't mean to children. I wasn't like there was nothing about his absence. Didn't hit his son. Didn't hit my son. There was nothing about him not being in my life that caused me issues other than the fact that people kept reminding me I didn't grow up with a dad.

That was what bothered me the most as a kid. You know, where's your dad? Where's your dad? Where's your dad? And I'm like, I don't have one. I don't have, you know, oh, he doesn't have a dad. So you're always being made fun of that, you know? And I'm like, oh, shit, you know where's your dad where's your dad where's your dad and i'm like i don't have one i don't have you know oh he doesn't have a dad so you're always being made yeah you know and i'm like oh shit you know they're the ones that painted it something bad but you don't know it's something bad unless somebody points it out i was fine you know same thing with with religion i didn't

realize that i was you know what you don't go to church yeah my god you know and so for me like i like i'm doing something bad i'm supposed to go to church everybody says i'm supposed't go to church yeah my god you know and so for me like i like i'm doing something bad i'm supposed to go to church everybody says i'm supposed to go to church so then when i bring it up to my mom my mom's like no you just need to be a good person be nice to people and that's all you got to worry about yeah but i need a team mom yeah so by the time i got to my dad and my sister well how did you get all that sort of growth because that's one of the big questions on the podcast is like what have you done that got you is just time because i think time is a big one time is definitely a big one and uh i think too like uh or insights that you've gotten when i went through my breakup with my uh with my girl um

i stopped drinking for two years and in those two years i decided to go to therapy. I didn't want to because I'm like, ugh, every movie I've seen, it's just like, really? And then also too, I'm like, how do I know this person's not going to start running their mouth? And like, you know, like, oh man, I'm in a position now where I don't need a TMZ moment. I don't need to be putting stuff out there. And, you know, I tried it. I actually tried couples therapy first when we were at the tail end of our relationship. And unfortunately, you know, it just didn't fly. Couldn't resuscitate the body. Nope.

But there was an office right next door to the couples therapist. It was just a therapist. And I gave it a shot. This first six months, you just gave fake problems, though, in case to test if it was going to go to TMZ. You would just go like I was molested just to see. And then, you know, the well, the first the first few times it was it was really hard for me to open up about anything. It was just it was more so about how much I don't trust the person. I was like, I'm here.

I want I think I need help, but I don't know if you're the one to help me. And I don't know how much I can tell you. You know, I'm like, this is uncomfortable uncomfortable and it was all about how uncomfortable i was uh those first few times and then little by little you know here's a question latina therapist nope white lady yep all right white ladies give it pat yourself for some reason for some reason i don't know that i would have trusted a Latina therapist. Oh, no, I know what's interesting. Because I'm like, all the Latinas I know freaking run their mouths, man. Nobody can keep their mouth shut. They all freaking talk.

They all lose their licenses. They don't know how to keep a secret. You're like, really? You had to put that out there. Okay, I get it. But, you know, she seemed really, really cool. And, yeah, two years. Every single Monday, I was at the therapist.

As a matter of fact, still, on my calendar, it still says therapy. Yeah, that's funny. Monday nights. I never had that thing taken off. But two years therapy, two years no drinking. And I'm a better person for it because I feel like I learned to listen. I learned to just reflect. I learned to ask myself questions.

I learned to accept responsibility. Yeah. Because, man, when you're in this rollercoaster ride where everything you do is magic, every single week you're in front of thousands of people and all people tell you is how good you make them feel, how much you make them smile, how amazing it is that you're there. You're walking out to cheers. People are still waving at you when you're walking away.

I can't wait to see you again. Can I hug you? Can I touch? Dude, like it's,'s you're you're getting all of this and you do you do get to a place where you're like well well you know if people can't get on board with this because clearly i'm doing something right you know you can't argue with the masses so to be able to step away from that yeah it was huge it was hard because i was i was consumed well it's also easier. Yes, it is much easier.

You're very good at comedy. You're fine at relationships at best. Yeah. And most people are fine at it. Uh-huh. But when you're very good at something, it's like, I got to go do this thing I'm not good at. Yeah. And they have expectations that I can't satisfy by just doing an impression.

Yeah. No, it doesn't work. And I would tell my therapist, too. I go, how come you never laugh? I go, I say some pretty funny shit in here she goes she goes i can't laugh i'm a professional i said me too bitch i do this for a living you one chuckle would kill you yep and she's like really i got i've gotten mad i've gotten mad at therapists for not watching my netflixes yeah and that's another thing too she refused i go have you watched any of my stuff so maybe you can understand some of the things, ideas.

How hard I crush. Nice, right? How hard I crush it. And she goes, no, because I don't want to get to know the comedian. I need to get to know the person. And I'm like, yeah, whatever. But you know what? I talk about myself.

So maybe that would. She goes, no, you can talk about yourself here. I'm like. Stupid idiots. So I feel like two years of therapy and two years of not drinking because when I would drink, I would use the drinking for dealing. Instead of me getting emotional about something and being productive with the feelings, I would just drink and go to bed. Oh, you wouldn't. You just do and then go to sleep.

Yeah. Or damage. You get on your phone. You know what? You know what I think? And then you look at the next thing. You're like, oh, God. Not only is it worse now.

Now there's, oh, man. Were they things that you thought? Was it like, was it drunk you? Drunk me saying. Saying shit that's not even really true? Or was it true when it was just sharper than normal? I think that there's always at least half of it is definitely true. There's definitely some random shit that I put out.

Where did that come from? Who had my phone? You know, you're looking at your phone. You're like, that's not me. But yeah, the core stuff, you could tell that there was stuff that was stewing and a lot of things that maybe I didn't want to. I didn't feel comfortable talking about. Again, remember, I'll always start off subtle and give clues and clues and eventually I have to hit hard. And usually that was happening when I was drinking.

You took two years off. When did you feel like, I can go back to drinking? I stopped the therapy and I started drinking again once I was able to go to sleep without crying. Once I was able to. No, seriously. That's hilarious. That breakup messed me up, man. I was able to. No, seriously. That's because, you know, that's that that's that breakup messed me up, man. I was like, oh, and it's always like you always see all the things

once you don't have them anymore. And so I didn't that time after the breakup, I didn't want to be more of a problem. And I knew I was going to be more of a problem if i drank because then if i drank then i'd wind up grabbing my phone i'd either make a call or send a text that would make things even worse yeah so i says let me deal with this completely sober and actually make an effort to correct uh you know things in my life and that's why it's like all right let me move the alcohol let me move the therapy because dude it was the therapy. Because, dude, it was rough. I pulled a plug on my tour for a while because I couldn't function. How am I going to go on stage and make people laugh when I'm sobbing backstage?

This is where she would stand. And it was that. It was that like hacky in terms of like, this is her. She likes grape juice. It was pathetic. It was pathetic. And it was she. If we can just.

Earlier, we were talking about the relationship. It was the thing that you tried and you just couldn't make it right. Was it mostly your fault? Yes. Not all of it, but mostly. In the beginning, it was all my fault. It was 100% me. And then her faults were reactions.

Therapy helped me realize, yeah, no, it was kind of more like 70-30. Yeah, mom isn't always right. So therapy and not drinking and then And then her faults were reactions. Therapy helped me realize, yeah, no, it was kind of more like 70-30. Yeah, mom isn't always right. Yeah. So therapy and not drinking, and then you knew you could drink when you didn't cry. Well, yeah, when I didn't cry anymore and I was good and I felt like, you know what, I'm okay. Because then I had to get used to the idea of living alone, not living with someone. Yeah.

Being alone, not being with someone. You know, living in a different place, not going home. You know, so there's all those things that I needed to get used to. Okay. This is another question that I ask, which is what is the upside of the, all the downside? What is the upside to all the downside is I have a better understanding so that whenever I talk to people who've dealt with certain situations, similar situations, I have, have, you know, there's, I'm more understanding and empathetic and sympathetic to, you know, moments. And it's not just like a whatever. And if I can lend my experience of pain, help someone, you know,

I'm happy to do it. And I think that, you know, they always say when you get older, you know, you get wiser and hopefully you get wiser if you learn from the past. And I think that moving forward, I would definitely take everything that happened in my life and apply it to whatever it is that comes down the line as far as an opportunity, whether it's in relationships or career. How would I approach it differently? Because now it's like, okay, you saw what you went through. What do you got to do to not make that mistake again? Yeah, there's a thing because so much of the world now is about focusing on your problems and your trauma and all that stuff. That's why the change.

So I do believe people can change, but it has to be something that you want to do. Or it has to be just like obvious, like, oh, I i should probably not do that again and yeah uh there's a thing called post-traumatic growth that no one ever mentions and it's like no you can go through a horrible experience and be like oh i'm okay i'm better i'm not just gonna feel sorry for myself or beat yourself up all the time you can be like Okay let me just grow. And evolve as a person. Instead of just focusing on that last thing. And what is your goal.

You're kind of running out of them. What is your goal. For yourself. Not professional. It can be professional. But what do you think your ideal state is. And are you close to it. The only goal I have now now is to just stay alive so uh probably you know focus on on fixing the health uh not just putting band-aids actually actually like yeah but it's got an app and stuff it's pretty it's pretty cool it really is fucking cool it really is but uh yeah man i don't you know i'd

hate to uh i hate to check out before I have to. Is it for you or for other people? For me. Yeah. Like you just want to do. For me. You want to buy more cars. Nice, yeah.

Do more stadiums. I want to do more shit. Yeah, more walkie-talkies, the whole thing. And that's. Because any goal that I've set for myself as far as career goes, I've definitely, I've yeah, I've definitely I've done it, which is why I said I'm on I jump like, what am I supposed to do now?

But the only thing that I've never been able to really hear aside from, you know, the relationship parts, which which I'm working on is is the health part. I watch a lot of the videos and everybody's talking about, oh, your health and fitness and this is what you got to do. And, you know, it's always coming from a person who doesn't know what it's like to be overweight yeah it's always somebody who's they don't even know what a stretch mark is you know they like all these fat people and i can't stand it they're so stupid so you've seen my tiktok yeah you know it's it's like all right uh it's it's been a struggle that's been the

hardest struggle comedy is easy losing no i know segura i'll send you a clip of segura talking about it on here because it was like it it's way and by the way more guys have body dysmorphia than people think like i've five people on here comics that we know like i just yeah and and like the kind of the humiliation of being fat and all that stuff and like stuck in a habit and you can't get on you want it when do i start and i that shit of sugar whatever weight i need to be at to and i'm not trying to be like fitness i'm just whatever it takes to be non-diabetic not have issues with my cholesterol get off blood pressure medication i just want to

be able to wake up and the only thing i got to worry about is a baby aspirin and maybe a freaking fish oil i feel like you could do that in nine months i really do like get so you're type two type two diabetic that's easy the it's just like like anything how bad how bad do you want it you can do anything i don't say that as like ladies and gentlemen with my system i just mean i just mean i know like you can do 45 95 right now yeah right we're gonna send you yeah let's go over to gape he's got some really hot updates um no but for real like you could dude you do you did dodger stadium you could go from type two to not it's just a matter of like what it's a few just to adjust some of the knobs

yeah i know you can do it like now i'm like what now i'm like invested i'm gonna text you send me send me your glucose. Um, I mean, I want your password for the nice. Um, dude, I,

it was so great talking to you. I like, cause I, we didn't know each other very well at all. We, I met you like in passing. Yeah. And then we texted when blocks him up,

but dude, so great talking to you. I hope you enjoyed it. And I hope that, uh, people saw a different side of you i hope you enjoyed it and i hope that uh people saw a thank you you're welcome let's shake hands hey there you go over the top thank you to have it real, my man. All you have to do is open, open up your hand, my man.