Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Gary Owen

Episode Date: December 21, 2023

Neal Brennan interviews Gary Owen ('Think Like A Man,' 'Ride Along,' 'Comic View,' & more) about the things that make him feel lonely, isolated, and like something's wrong - and how he is persevering despite these blocks. ---------------------------------------------------------- 00:00 Intro 2:52 Angry At Biological Father 55:12 Anxiety 57:44 Reflection 1:02:35 Improvement ---------------------------------------------------------- https://nealbrennan.com for tickets Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81036234 Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle ---------------------------------------------------------- Sponsors: GameTime App Code: BLOCKS for $20 off your first purchase Http://www.DrSquatch.com/NEAL for 3 free bar soaps plus free shipping Http://www.RocketMoney.com/NEAL Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Travel better with Air Canada. You can enjoy free beer, wine, and premium snacks in economy class. Now extended to flights within Canada and the U.S. Cheers to taking off this summer. More details at aircanada.com. How you doing, man? I'm good. How are you? Good. You sound suspicious.

I'm good. Why? Why do you ask? Who wants to know? Hi. Neil Brennan here. You're watching the Blocks Podcast. My guest today is a guy I met once on an elevator. Fox lot. Yes.

And I'm a longtime admirer of. I'm fascinated by you. I follow you on social media. His name is Gary Owen. You may know him as the white dude who hosted Comic View in the 2000s. I used to host a television show on BET. That's black entertainment television. I ain't black.

I ain't black. You may know him. Some of you may know me. uh the uh kevin hart franchise think like a man and his white boy shit we love breasts you're not even white bennett you're clear yeah and uh ride along don't you keep your clothes on they took everything else ride along of course what else back? Back on the Strip. Kevin's in that one, too. Oh, great.

That's our fourth movie together. Fantastic. He's never put me in anything. Hey, Neil, you can earn 3% in drugstores. Buddy, I'm right here. Why are you yelling? He's just a guest. He does like a surprise.

Yeah, but he could have put me in some stuff. He could have. What I meant. But I wasn't really. I told him, too. No, I know. And he was like, I can only do one white at a time. time yeah and the funny the movie is about a bunch of black strippers being white is so boring and i'm the one white stripper amongst all the black strip fantastic

it's probably why i didn't call no now you're now you're treading on now you're going too far main man uh main man gary what's happening with you what do you what all here's what i know about you i know that you've been a comedian for 30 years probably uh not that long like 25 25 and you were you had a very public divorce and you're on the road you're doing crowd work every time i see you're doing crowd work and maybe cincinnati what Hart like? Black, short. I'm not doing crowd work in Cincinnati. I'm doing crowd work, but I don't even live there anymore,

but every time I go home, it's like I feel like I'm representing, so I'm always like, back home, I just love my city. Okay, great. I don't care about city pride. It's just a thing about me. I don't think that people should have pride in where they're from.

I think it's just luck. I don't think that people should have pride in where they're from. I think it's just luck. I don't think it would be like if I was repping for Earth in space. Like, I'm from Earth. I'd be like, yeah, I don't know. Mine's more sports-oriented. Okay, that's fine. It's not like the city is like big. And you know all the guys and all that stuff.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you don't like the infrastructure. You don't think like the bridges here are special. No, no, it's not nothing about that. Our highways are fantastic. No, no no it's not about the our highways are fantastic no no it's not nothing like that all right you're angry at biological father tell me about that i feel like you don't remember what your blocks are which is fine with me but i do i just didn't know the order well yeah that's something i moved it up. I skipped one. I don't know.

You grew up poor, right? Yeah, trailer park. Trailer park in like a mostly white neighborhood, mostly black neighborhood. Well, in the beginning, me and my mom was in apartments. We were kind of sticking and moving all over. And then end of fifth grade, we moved into a trailer. And I was there until I left home. So from like 10 to 17, was in the trailer park as bad as one would imagine or it's are there upsides to it not really i mean if you're gonna be a comedian

there is right but is it every day go this sucks yeah you are not this sucks you're not come in see how now this sucks no you don't want this way sucks that way sucks well when you pulled in it was called island Lake Mobile Community. So when you pull into our trailer park. I like how they try to make it like a grandiose name. Yeah. Island Lake. And there was a lake and it was an island, but you're not getting in that water.

And you're not even on the island. So it's like, what are you talking about? Yeah, there's nothing on the island. It's just like, I don't know. It's like a pile of dirt. Right? In the middle of the water. If you make a right, it's the nothing on the island. It's just like, I don't know. It's like a pile of dirt in the middle of one. If you make a right, it's the family section.

If you make a left, it's the adult section. I like what I'm hearing. If you make a left. Swingers-wise. Go ahead. If you make a left, it wasn't that bad. It was like people like, oh, okay. That's the adult section?

Yeah. And we never went to the adult section. Like you weren't even supposed to ride your bikes because it wasn't a huge trailer park. But we knew. You don't go. Like the Greg Brady, like the 70s adult section. When you'd go into the adult section of Video Star, was it like that with the beads? Kind of.

It was just, it wasn't as bad. Okay. In your mind, you're going, you thought they had made it in life, the adult section. Interesting. Because they would have flowers in front of the trailer. Okay. And their porch wasn't broken down. It was like, oh, that's a decent porch.

Why? That's surprising because you think the family people are more responsible. No. And then you made that right. And it was every stereotype. It was every stereotype you could think of in a trailer park. I mean, whatever you thought, we had somebody like that. Drugs?

Without question. Was meth around or was crack time? I don't know. I was so young. No, that wasn't crack. I don't know. I was so young. I didn't know.

I didn't know. I know a couple funny stories. People crossed the street from me. I went in their trailer, and they had one bathroom, and there was a catfish in the bathtub living. And I thought that was the coolest thing. I was like, oh, shit, they got a fish. The bathtub, they clearly got out of the lake.

And then when you get older, you're like, how are they taking baths? And there was like eight kids in that trailer. And they was like, we got a catfish in the bathtub did they eat it or it was just i don't know it was just living and i don't know how long it's just we walked in they was they were so excited to show me the catfish how big it was pretty big catfish are big yeah yeah they are yeah it was pretty big uh living did you what there was no follow-up on what happened in the cabin nope i just went in there one day and saw it because somebody told me to go look

and how many kids there had to be about 8 in that trailer white family everybody was white everybody was white in the trailer park I don't know why I feel calmer that they were white it was funny because at one point

a guy had his daughter come visit for the summer and she was mixed. And we were in awe. We were like, holy cow. And she was cool. She was out there playing and stuff. But I remember she got in an argument with one of the girls in the trailer park and we thought, oh, this white chick better not. You're going to get fucked up. They never did fight, but they just argued like they were.

Great. So what did you think was they just argued like they were. Great. So what did you think was going on with your parents at that point? Well, I was living with my mom and stepdad at that point. And what did you think your dad was doing? I don't know. He just was working at FedEx. Were you in touch with him? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he'd come by. He'd come get me about once a month on a Sunday. And then I just remember every time he'd come get me, we'd either go hang gliding he would go hang gliding and he would just drive up trying to kill you he'd hang glide for the day

and I just remember I'd have to walk up the mountain with him or hill and then he'd hang glide down and I would just walk back down and that was my day and then I'd be like

but I was excited because we would go to Burger King yeah and I thought that's all I'd look forward to like man I'm about to get that big ass burger because we never go to Burger King. Yeah. And I thought, that's all I look forward to. Like, man, I'm about to get that big-ass burger. Because we never went out to eat in the trailer park. Would you hang glide to Burger King?

No, no. He just had on top of his Toyota truck. We'd drive to Burger King. How long would it take you to walk up that mountain? It's so long ago. I don't know. Would he be talking to you? Yeah, he'd be talking.

He does hang gliding buddies with them. And then he'd take off, and I'd just walk back down, meet him back down in his truck. That sounds like a joke childhood. Like my father would go hang gliding every weekend, and I would just have to walk next to him. And then he would go like, all right, Gary, good to see you, and run off a cliff.

Yeah, he'd run off the cliff, fly down. Fly down. And all the trucks were always parked in a field, because it was always like a different location. And then I would just sit there in the back of his Toyota truck, waiting for him to come down. And I remember thinking, I remember the hang glider, but it was always pretty cool, though,

because they'd always, like, throw me a soda or something, and I thought that was the best. From high altitude? No, no, no. The guys that were down at the trucks already waiting. Oh, great. Hey, what's up, Gary? The other sons, the other sad sons. No, the ones that already went down.

Yeah, yeah. Or we play racquetball. That's fascinating. Or you go to racquetball. He had his racquetball league on Sunday. Have you ever hang glided since? No. No interest.

And I remember I always asked him, I want to go. I want to do it. You want to do something with your dad. Hang gliding seems dangerous, no? Is it safe? want to go. I want to do it. You want to do something with your dad. Hang gliding seems dangerous, no? Is it safe? Yeah, I didn't want to do it by myself. I wanted him to take me because I'd see guys tandem diving. Sure.

Almost like when you get into, what is it, skydiving. Yeah. They can do that too. And he always said, I'm going to do it, but he never did. He always was like, all right, yeah, yeah, I'm going to get it. I'm going to take you with me. But we never did. What do you think of your biological dad?

Right now? Yeah, or just in – what have you thought of him? What do you think of him right now? He's a piece of shit. Is that good? Pretty graphic. Yeah? Pretty clear.

And how come? We had a complete falling out right before I left the Navy. So I think – because I think as a kid, you never want a different dad. You just want your dad to do better. Yeah. So you give him every, every chance and you're, and you're still so that he, you know, he throws you a few crumbs and you're so happy to be around them. And so I remember I was having a hard time with my stepdad. So the summer going into my senior year, I i asked him i said can i move in with you i just i can't take this anymore and he was like he basically said no i just remember it's

the loneliest drive back to the trailer because i had built up all this every drive back to the trailer lonely this was worse though because i thought when i left that day i'm not coming back i thought i'm not coming back you're like fuck you long, Taylor. They don't even know I'm out. Fuck you. I'm moving to my dad. So I just remember driving back. I go, fuck, dude. I got to go back to this dude, my stepdad. I can't stand this dude. And I got, it just hit me like, oh, he doesn't really give a shit, my dad.

And so. Was he ever with your mom? Until I was like two or three to every guy. I don't remember. Yeah. But he was in the Navy, so he wasn't home. Ah, okay. Because they had me like, she got pregnant her senior year of high school.

And then they got married because that's what you did back then, I guess. And then he joined the Navy and he was kind of gone after that. So I joined the Navy my senior year and I was leaving. I graduated in June. I was leaving in July. So June, my dad had kept saying, you know, we're going to go to Florida. Cause my great, his mom and dad, my grandparents moved to Florida. So I was like, all right, all right. And so he buys a ticket for me and to go

to Florida. And I just remember my stepdad who was, that's another story in itself. He, we were actually getting along halfway decent. And I just remember they had sold the trailer and they finally got a house. And so the week I was supposed to go to Florida with my dad was the week we had to move out of the trailer into the house. So I had to help move. So I just – I kind of just left my dad hanging because I knew if I went to Florida with my dad, the week we're supposed to move into the house, it was going to be hell my last month living with my stepdad. Cause one, he couldn't stand my, my real dad. And then two, he always took it out on me how anytime he had an issue with my real dad. So I was like, I was like, I just basically didn't answer his phone call. And then he called and left his voicemail cussing everybody out about,

went to Florida and stuff. So the week before I left for the Navy, I remember I saw him, and then we kind of made up and everything. And then I know this is a long story. This is great. So now I joined the Navy, and I'm not really's a long story that's great so now i joined the navy and i'm not really talking to my dad that much and then i finally got a hold of him after i came home from boot camp and i told him the whole story about dude it was just gonna be rough and we we made up somewhat

and then uh after about a year and a half i was in in the Navy. I wanted to get a car. I saved enough money. And I came back home to Cincinnati, found an Oldsmobile Cutlass for $2,500. I had $2,500. And I was like, OK, I can get this car. But you got to get insurance registration. I was short on that. So I asked my stepdad and mom, can they help me? And my stepdad said, go ask your real dad. See what he says.

So I went to my real dad. And I said, said, go ask your real dad, see what he says. So I went to my real dad and I said, Hey, I need like 500 bucks and I'll pay you back. I just, I got a one-way ticket. I'm driving back to DC because that's where I was stationed. And he goes, yeah, yeah, we'll, we'll loan you the money. And I'll just never forget. We've, I was at his, I was at his house. He had his new wife. I had, He had just had twins, my sisters. I just remember his wife came and she brought him a tuna fish sandwich and didn't bring me one. And I remember thinking, yeah, you guys aren't going to ask if I want something to eat. And then I just remember he's eating the sandwich, looking at me going, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll loan you the money.

And so I waited a couple of days and I didn't hear from him. And I got to leave now the next day days and I didn't hear from him and I gotta leave now the next day and I don't have this car yet so I saw him at my aunt's house and we were over there and I just remember sitting there for like two hours like do I got to bring this up again that he never brought it up and I just left and then um it ended up the dealer when i went to go get the car i had a u.s navy presidential honor guard jacket so in small town ohio where i'm from he was like i said i told him i said i can't get the car i got 2500 so he was like he basically was like don't worry about it man just take it because he knows he goes where you're going i said i'm going back to my base

so he was like you're good you can just send it to me when you send it to me. So he let me get the car. And that was kind of it. And then I never get my dad called me a couple months later. And he was like, hey, he's I got your like Christmas card or something. I got your Christmas card. And I said, yeah, he goes, hey, did you get your mom something for Christmas? And I said, yeah.

He goes, I would like to get something for Christmas. I said, I would like to get $500 for that car. And then he just started going off. He goes, what? And I just remember the last conversation. He goes, hey, man, well, I'm not going to call you no more then. You be a good kid. You be a good kid.

And I was like, all right. And we hung up. So that was 93. I didn't see him again until 97. He wrote me a letter. Somebody found out my address in San Diego. At this point, I'm staying in San Diego. And I get this long letter from him.

And so next time I came home on leave, I stopped by the house and saw him. And then kind of made up a little bit at that point. And that's right when I was getting on B&T. Every time you talk about him, in my head, when he calls you, he's hang gliding. When he's getting room and he writes you a letter, he's on a hang glider. He's putting hang gliding equipment on when you came over to his house. Oh, it's too funny. So we made up, and it was like uh just touch you know it's frustrating because i would i'd now i'd

see him with my sisters and he was he's like a really good dad to them and then his new wife they were just it was the four of them clearly and i was kind of cut she it was clear she didn't want me around all of your relationship with him was colored by her. Now, yeah, for sure. When did they get together? 93 they got married. Because it's interesting about their wedding, when they got married in 93, I was in the Navy.

And he said, you come to the wedding. And I said, I really can't afford it. Like, I couldn't afford to fly home. And he said, well, get the ticket and I'll pay you back. And I said, okay. And another, I flew home and he never gave me money for the ticket I was like this and I was like I kept I was at the wedding went to the reception and it was probably 200 bucks but I ain't no money back that was like this he's not he's not gonna bring it up he never brought that up so I'm like oh my god dude. And you kept believing him because you want to believe him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And all this seems like mine are like $500, $200. No, but it's not. I didn't have nothing. Yeah. So he got me on the wedding. And then so we got somewhat cool. I definitely knew what I was kind of the outsider looking in with his new family.

And then i'm getting married now right and we get to the wedding my stepdad's flipping out because my real dad's coming and he sucker punched him at the reception my stepdad sucker punched my real dad at the reception wow that is a wedding that is a hell of a hell you hate to say that's a trailer park wedding oh it was 300 people at that wedding you hate to say it but you gotta yeah it was 250 black people 50 white people and two white guys i didn't want it to get racial like oh yeah yeah see i don't like see this makes me uncomfortable i'm yeah well it's gonna get worse now was the the two punchers were white though, right?

Yeah, yeah. That was funny because it was all the... And I'm glad that it was white because if a black person was involved, they would have hit him with a chair. Yeah. I think we've all learned that. The hard way. No hats got thrown up in there.

No, but it's been a tough week for chairs and white people. But so they get in a fight at the wedding reception. That kind of end of the reception. Sure. That'll do it of the reception. Sure. That'll do it. And this one's funny. Was there a microphone involved? Like, all right, y'all, we're going to shut it down.

No, no, no. It's just like everybody just kind of got separated. Yeah. You know, they dragged them out. And then I just remember. What was the premise of punching him? My stepdad said my real dad looked at him funny. Fair enough.

He gave him a look. That's all I need. That's what I asked. I said, what happened? He goes, he looked at me funny. I go, what do you mean he looked at you funny? He goes, I just remember my stepdad, it wasn't a normal face. He looked at me like, I fucked your wife before you.

I went around with Gary when I was growing up, and I'm still at the wedding. Ha, ha, ha. I was like this. That's a hell of a face. Yeah. I've seen a face like that. Very communicative was like this. That's a hell of a face. Yeah. I've seen a face like that. Very communicative. Yeah. This guy's a master of charades, apparently.

Yeah. He reads shit just off faces. Now, did you think, why did I try to bring this shit together? Well, this was all my stepdad's fault. Because my brother didn't do anything wrong at the wedding, if you about it well he fucked his mom he fucked his mom first he did and that's really what it was yeah and i think his probably is his dick was bigger than my stepdad's and that had a lot to do with it of course yeah because my my my dad will let you know he's he's hanging great he i was like why does he tell me this? I don't know why.

So now the wedding's over, right? So now we're back and we're looking at gifts. I have to rewrite a lot of my memories for a bigger dick. I don't know why my dad used to always tell me that. The hang glider. All the scenes. I have to go back. Just a big dick laughing in the wind. Just like puffing up.

Yeah. Yep. Dick laughing in the wind. Just like puffing up. Yeah. Yep. So now we're going through our gifts to send out thank yous, right? And I'll never forget my... So you still...

So the reception ends. Yeah. You're married now. Mm-hmm. You're in the Navy. No, no. I'm out of the Navy. Okay, you're out of the Navy.

This is 2003 is this marriage. All right. This is the marriage that just recently ended that we got to? Yeah. It's 2003. All right. This is the marriage that just recently ended. Yeah. Great. 2003. All right. And did you regret inviting your, you had to invite your stepdad. He was the one I was worried about because he didn't know I was back in touch with my real dad.

Ah, got it. So we had to call him and let him know like, look, my, my real dad's coming to the wedding and that whole side's coming. He's called the Owens. Owens coming. He never called him by his name. It's always Owen real dad's coming to the wedding and that whole side's coming he's called the owens owens coming it's only he never called by his name it's always owen owens coming yep so i said they're all coming and i've made up and then he was just like well i don't i don't think we're gonna come then and then they end up coming obviously yeah and then uh i remember we was going through the gifts to send thank yous out right right? So, you know, you're going through the gift cards and gifts, like thank you for this. I'll never forget my dad, my stepdad got me a picture frame

from Things Remembered. Of his dick? Not his dick, just a picture frame. And I just remember I called him. I said, hey, dad, I don't want to sound ungrateful. I said, I'm your only son. You know you got me a picture frame for my wedding

he goes but we flew out and we got a hotel and I went yeah yeah yeah I said why don't you ask your friends if that was a good gift and he goes we got it engraved and I just remember

for like six months I would walk by a mall and I'd walk by Things Remembered and I would just be like that fucking store like oh it was from Things Remembered Things Remembered what do would just be like, that fucking store. Oh, it was from Things Remembered? Things Remembered.

What do you think he dropped including the engraving? 55? Yeah. I think it was like 35 cents a letter. Great. I'm glad that you looked it up.

Yeah. It's a real testament to your pettiness. So, yeah, right. I was more like this because I knew, I think it was more of accumulation.

What's the most expensive wedding gift you've ever bought for anyone? I don't know. Usually we, nowadays we're pretty generous. We go to the registry and we go higher because we know some people probably can't. Do you attribute it like publicly, let people see what Gary Owen bought? No. So you're doing the right thing.

No. We just buy it. You buy it and then you do anonymous. Yeah, I don't even feel nothing out. I'm just. No, we just buy it. You buy it and then you do anonymous. I don't, yeah, I don't even feel nothing out. I'm just like, no, just get it. So that was 2003. And then we moved back to Ohio in 2004. And we got the kids.

And that's when I was like, oh, we're just, he's there, but he just kind of fits us in. We're like an inconvenience. You know what I mean? Your dad, yeah. Yeah, it's not like he's going out of his way to see the grandkids now. Yeah. And I think what bothered me is I knew when my sisters would have kids, they were going to be uber involved.

Yeah. And that is what happened. And I was like, he just, you know. And then basically the relationship ended two years ago when I was flying. I flew home to Cincinnati, and I'm still avoiding a process server. We're in the heat of the divorce. And I went to a Reds game, and I ended up getting a suite. And I called.

Well, I got a hookup on the suites too. It wasn't like I paid full price. and I end up getting a suite and I called, well, I got a hookup on the suites too. Wasn't like I paid full price. And so I get a suite. I call like a couple of buddies up. So I call my uncle up and he just happened to be downtown. And I go, yo,

we're at the Reds game. We got a couple extra seats. And we didn't, they gave you 16 seats to a suite. Yeah. We didn't have 16 people. By the way, I don't like a suite at at the it's too far away from the action really yeah oh i like pretty controversial i don't like to be bothered i don't like a suite it's too far away you end up just watching on television and then you hear the sound but it's not in sync with the tv

so it'll be like oh no i love, I love it. I love sports. And then on the TV, you'll see the bat and the... So I say... Oh, you're talking about baseball. I'm thinking just sports in general. Basketball, I think it's kind of worse. And football is kind of worse. Yeah, well, nothing like being on the lower end of basketball. Courtside is always money in basketball.

And baseball, I would say I would take those... They got caught and since i call them diamond seats right behind home plate that way you can get a fee if i'm gonna sit in the stands i want to be in the first couple rows because then you want to be a little scared that part that when you hear the ball like yeah yeah and you're like okay so i could i can see that in baseball. And football, no. I think because you sit low on football, it's hard to gauge. Yes, agreed. I like to be a little up in football. Yeah, okay. I'll give you football.

But I wanted to just say that I don't love a sweet. I wanted that on the record. Well, neither does my dad. Great. Because what happened was. Another thing we have in common. Great. Well, because I would have another thing we have in common.

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To buy three soaps and get three free, it's time to get all the daily routine essentials you'll need to start feeling good and smelling like a man today. So my uncle, my two uncles are there. My uncle Bob was my uncle Daryl, both my dad's brothers. And they end up showing up at the suite. And I didn't even think to call my dad and i guess he called daryl he goes yeah he goes oh man we're at a baseball game gary got a suite he goes really and hung up on him and then he calls me and leaves his voicemail and he's cussing me out you know and i'm going he never says why he's mad. And I wake up to this voicemail the next morning going,

what the hell is he mad about? Sends me a long text of how he shed a tear. What do you have him in your phone as? Dad. Great. That works. He shed a tear. I was just wondering. I heard you on Craig.

Craig, what's his real name? Huh? What's his real name? Gary. It's Gary Owen? Yeah. I'm a junior. Great.

Great. Fantastic. Even richer. This rich, poisonous stew. So he calls me because I still got the voicemail in my phone. I use it in my act. Do you really? Yeah.

That's great. And yeah, my manager is not, she stopped doing that. I go, it's so hard though. Oh, if it crushes, how many laughs does it get? Oh, that i go it's so hard though oh if it crushes how many laughs does it get oh it's the story behind it is so good great and so cuz me out leaves his voicemail and leaves this text of how you never include me in anything uh i've come to expect this behavior from you and i'm going hold on hold on slow down i go this is over a baseball game now going, hold on, hold on, slow down.

I go, this is over a baseball game now. And let me give you the backstory of why I didn't call him. Two weeks prior, I was home. And he would always want to take me to the airport when I was home. It was like our time to talk. And I live- Again, I've not done several hand gliding jokes.

I wanted him to hand glide into the baseball game. And now I want him to hand glide you to the airport. It's hard. Callbacks are hard for me so so he'd always be like i want to pick you up i want to pick you up and it was cool because it was our time to talk right so two weeks prior to this baseball game i was home and i got home on a monday and i was leaving on a Friday. I was free Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. The only night I was not free was Thursday. So he said, hey, do you want to go see your sister Kayla's soccer game? My sister is 28 years old. It was an intramural soccer game.

And I go, dad, I don't think anything could be more boring than going to an intramural soccer game. I said, no, I don't really want to do that. And then he goes, oh, it's going to be boring. He be boring he goes maybe we can get something to eat before after and i i had dinner plans that night yeah i couldn't and the problem going to eat my dad he never picks up the check either ever i'm shocked so it's like no let me tell you how bad it is neil he said let's meet for breakfast one day. And I said, all right. So I said, hey, he got there before me. I said, order your food, and I'll just meet you at wherever you're sitting. It's one of them restaurants where you order, you pay the register, and you sit down.

They give you a number, ring your food. Boston Chicken Market. Basically. I get there. The lady goes, I ordered my food, and there's my dad. And they said, oh, yeah, that guy said you're paying for his food. And I went, what? I keep my breakfast like 10 bucks. It wasn't the money. I was like this, what? And he's just waving at me. And I go, oh my God, he can't pay at all when

he's with me. Has he started saying like, well, you're rich. Has he started that thing? It's, he's, he implies it. Got it. He goes, I would just like to walk in your shoes for one day, stuff like that. So when I didn't meet him Thursday, two weeks prior, I texted him Thursday night. I said, hey, you still going to pick me up tomorrow? He goes, no, I got to work. He's retired. When I called, I said, dad, you got to tell me ahead of time. I live too far out to get an Uber at 4.30 in the morning.

I got to make plans to get to the airport. And if I drive, I might not be coming home for a month or two. Yeah. My car just ended at the airport. So, I had to call this car service. I got a car, but the reason I didn't call him two weeks later is I'm still like, dude, you just left me hanging. I was going to work. Yeah.

And his thing was I didn't have time to meet him all week. I said, no, no, I could have met you Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Just Thursday, I couldn't meet you. Yeah you yeah so he was in his feelings about that and then me coming in town two weeks later and going the reds game and not inviting him really set him off speaking of in in his feelings do you ever empathize with him now that you've you've had kids you've gotten divorced do you ever think like all right i kind of know sometimes because this is not a rare thing where like the first wife and first kid they treat like garbage and then the second they're like reformed on the second one or is it it was too inconvenient and too shitty too often that the earth is scorched.

The childhood I've come to grips with as I've gotten older with my kids, that's what gets me is like, oh, wow, you really repeated the cycle with the grandkids. Now you're really involved. Same way you was involved with my sisters and not so much me. You've done it to my kids and they've picked up on it. And so that was more the thing. It was little things. I had my first Showtime special, and I called him, and I said, Dad, I want you to go.

He goes, a girl's got a soccer game. And I went, oh. So it was like a sixth or seventh grade. And I go, and he asked his brother daryl he said i i think it kind of messed up he goes gary invited me to go to a special but the girls got a soccer game and daryl goes i would walk to vegas if my son had a comedy special and he invited me are you crazy so me trying to get my dad, I flew him out. I put him up at the Mandalay Bay and like Showtime had given us like five rooms at the Mandalay Bay. So I gave my dad one of the rooms. This goes back to his cheapness. So for three days, he didn't pay for anything.

They got a mix up on the credit card. They charged his credit card, $1,100. I had to go back and call my manager and be like, hey, they messed up. They charged his credit card. And I told my dad. I said, they're going to take care of it. Might take a couple weeks, but they're going to take care of it. Long story short, they ended up sending him a check for $1,000 instead of $1,100. And he called me, and I'm not lying. Every phone call for about three months was, hey, that $100 though.

That $100. And finally, he goes, can I get your manager's number? I got to take care of this. every phone call for about three months was a that hundred dollars though that hundred dollars and finally he goes can i get your manager's number i gotta take care of this i said dad i'm not giving your manager for a hundred dollars i said take the l you went to vegas you paid nothing for three days it was a hundred dollar vacation i said and you saw the special so he ended up letting it go but i think it was more coming from his his wife were you excited when he called you to say i'm gonna come yeah oh that's when i got his ticket i bought his ticket i was like i'll get your ticket so you must be like it's fucking finally yeah yeah yeah so i was like oh i got him you're right yeah i was like that goes back to just he got entitled like he just wanted

yeah everything how about meal vouchers did you give him any meal voucher he got all of it fuck he didn't pay for nothing he He didn't pay for a drink. In that employee cafeteria? So now the Reds game happens, and we're on the phone. I called him, and I said, hey, Dad, I got your voicemail. I got your text. And he goes, yeah, I meant every word of it. And I went, hmm.

So we're sitting here going, I said, I can't believe you're mad over a baseball game. And then we're going back and forth over it, and then I said, dad, he just took family pictures, and he didn't invite me, so he got, I'm on Facebook, and I see this whole family photo shoot, him, my two sisters, their husbands, now all their kids, and nobody called, and somebody made a comment, like, where's Gary Jrary jr he's like oh he had to work and i was like nobody even called to invite me and then i i said dad you took family pictures and didn't invite me and he goes okay here we go with this shit i knew this was coming and that's the first time i ever snapped on my dad i I said, fuck you. Fuck your bitch ass wife.

Fuck your fucking family, dude. And hung up on him. With a black scent. No, I said, homie. I said, homie. I said, fuck you. Fuck your bitch ass wife. Fuck your fucking family, homie.

And hung up. And then. Did you want to call him partner? Yeah. Bitch ass motherfucker. That would partner with it. Partner is like a level. Hey, let me tell you something, partner. Yeah, partner. like a level hey let me tell you something

partner yeah oh fuck let me stop you right there partner and by the way the reds won bitch they won that day so when i hung up on him i ain't lying it was 30 seconds later his his wife was texting me i go was she on the phone with him and my aunt said i bet you she was he was on speaker phone and she was listening the whole conversation she I bet you she was, he was on speakerphone, and she was listening to the whole conversation. She texts me, and she was like, hey, this is his bitch-ass wife. She was like, those family photos, that was a gift from my daughters to me from Mother's Day, not that it's any of your business. And then she says, by the way, you still owe us $80 for this FedEx package

because he would let me use his FedEx number sometimes. I go, damn. And the mix of all of it, she's still asking me for $80 for a FedEx package. I mean, you owe him $180, but my calculation. And Venmo, you know his Venmo is Gary Owen Sr. I mean, if I have to do a GoFundMe to get this guy's money, I'll do it. Gary Owen Sr., he's like 180. His Venmo is at Potna.

P-O-T-N-A. Okay. So you just, and that's 2007? No, no, this is 2021. Oh, geez. This was two years ago. Do you see parts of him in you? Yeah.

And what do you think of it? It bothers me. You're like, urgh. Fuck it. We got similar mannerisms. It's just like, it bothers me. By the way, this is like every family. What you're describing is every family.

So like, as much as you're maybe like embarrassed whatever this is my family it's every family i know about it's always weird amounts of money from weird lengths of time ago yeah and why i didn't give you that just it yeah after i cussed them out um this is where i think he went too far. So he went to Facebook with it. He went to social media. This is before your ex-wife went to Facebook with it? This is 2021. You were getting a lot of, you were catching.

This was during. This was in the middle of it. You were catching a lot of heavy incoming. I'd start seeing another girl. So we went to Sedona and went to Grand Canyon one day. And I, like everybody, you take pictures of Grand Canyon, right? So I sent. You do the one panorama?

All of it. Great. Full package. Yeah. You know, I was avoiding a process server. I'm still avoiding a process server at this time. So there was like probably less than 10 people that knew where I was at all times. How many phones you got right now at that

point just one okay so i would have added one huh i would have added one just i don't even know why no it just seems like you got a lot going on no i had changed my number and my care my carrier when i got divorced okay i switched everything up so he was one of the few people i had my new number and i had sent him pictures of the grand canyon like i'm at the grand canyon and i sent him a picture of the girl i was with um we just took a picture of grand canyon right so he he took that picture specifically you sent it to him this was like in june this is when we were cool okay i thought we were cool i was keeping him updated with where i was and how the divorce is going and that picture of me

and the girl one he sent it to my ex-wife and two he posted it on was and how the divorce is going and that picture of me and the girl one he sent it to my ex-wife and two he posted it on facebook and put the middle finger emoji in front of it and then he started posting pictures of my ex-wife like i got your back to this divorce you've always been like a daughter to me and i'm going like you don't like black people so again another thing we have in common where's all this where's all this pro-blackness coming from all of a sudden i was like oh so to me i was like and you still and then the baseball game this was right this was the next day this is after i cussed him out oh i cussed him out and he did all this when i hung up on him, I'm talking about the next 24 hours was 10 minutes later, his ex called.

Ex texted me. The next day, I see the Facebook. He'd taken an old photo of you from the Grand Canyon. Okay. And posted a little finger emoji on it. And then started posting pictures of my ex and everything on there. I got you back to this divorce. Then we go to mediation.

I find out he's been telling my ex just a bunch of shit about me. And I'm going, you gotta be kidding me. This guy. Yeah. All right. That's not like most family. I mean, that's like very dramatic.

My thing with him is like, he was just telling her lies. And I go, why are you trying to make this harder than what it is? Because you're not, really, you're not hurting me. You're hurting her and you're hurting the grandkids yeah you're not necessarily hurting me because we're in mediation and first thing out of my ex's mouth is like where's the two or nine two thousand dollars you went to reno and i go huh so i was like i've never been to reno and i i'm sitting here going

what is she talking about and i said said, oh my God, my neighbor, old neighbor in California, they moved to Reno. His wife hit for $292,000 on a slot machine. He sent me the picture. I sent that, and this is like in May, before all this shit hit the fan, May of 2021. I sent that picture to my dad and I said, I just hit, don't tell Kenya, she might want half LOL. Then I called him and said,

dad, I'm kidding. That was my neighbor. I didn't, I didn't win that. He showed that screenshot to my ex acting like I really want it. No one that I already called him and said it was a joke. So I looked at my ex and I go, you, you've been through all my bank accounts. There's not one flight to Reno. There's not one hotel stay in Reno. I go, so've been through all my bank accounts. There's not one flight to Reno. There's not one hotel stay in Reno. I go, so I came in on a horse and spent no money. So I think she goes, I don't know. I don't know. She knew, but I think. Why were you avoiding the process server? I'm just out of curiosity. We lived in Ohio and we had built a house in California. So we were kind of splitting our time between

Ohio and California. But I said, before we built the house in California, I went to my accountant. Everybody was like, I used to want to be an Ohio state resident. I want to pay taxes in Ohio. I don't want California taxes. And they told me, they said, well, you're, you're in a good position because you're a comedian. You travel so much much as long as you spend more time in ohio than california i they go you can be in ohio you can have eight houses i said okay so i filed for divorce in ohio legally that's where we lived she went and filed in california and i was like oh so my lawyer had to break it down they said don't get served because this divorce could go down in cal. And if you get served, you're going to have to go to court and you're gonna have to fight it out over jurisdiction.

If she gets served, it's just going to be in Ohio. And so I was avoiding it for that reason to get the divorce in Ohio and not California. Did you end up being, it ended up being in Ohio. Couldn't you just say to her like, Hey, can we do this in ohio or was so broken she was so mad yeah when i i tried to do the right thing i thought so once i filed i filed in a small town in ohio butler county ohio and they were just taking so long with the paperwork to get the to say hey small town divorce small want some divorce. Small town. You got two judges. They're used to like waitresses and plumbers. Yep. Here I come in and they're like, you're on our time now. So I just remember when I left home,

it was such a weird feeling. Like I remember pulling out, it was like four in the morning and I looked back and I was like, my life is really about to change because I knew I wasn't coming home. I knew I was getting a divorce. And I remember just that night seeing my son and her, and I was like, dang, you feel kind of dirty. So you knew you had filed.

You'd obviously fought for years. Yeah, I left four times during the marriage. Like, people just didn't know. Right. And you always try to give it the old college try and get back together. This last time, I knew I was done. You feel bad. You don't want to hurt

anybody. Did your kids always know? No, they knew nothing. The first time I ever left, I left with them, but they were so young. They were in diapers. They didn't know. I took them with me. I drove from LA to Dallas. That's a heck of a drive. With three were in diapers they didn't know i took them with me when i drove from la to dallas oh that's a heck of a drive with three diapers oh fantastic yeah do it bucket that's bucket list shit right that was hell of a trip yeah i'm the only guy that leaves and takes

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And during that week, the paperwork would come in. And then they'd give her the papers and I wasn't home. And then we could talk about it. And then it just went on for like five, six weeks. And I kept coming home for reasons why I wasn't coming home. So I wasn't lying, but I wasn't telling the whole truth. Like I would – you know, the good thing was it was COVID, and the clubs were half full.

So I'd be like, I can do Monday. So they'd be like, all right, because you're only on the hook for like 150, 200 seats. And then I'd be like, I can do Monday. And then I was like – I'd call home, and I'd go, they add it Monday, so I'm just going straight to the next city. And then I was doing my podcast in L.A., so I'd be like, I had to fly L.A. to do my podcast.

We're up in Northern California. So I literally came up with all these reasons why I wasn't coming home for a month, and I ran out of reasons. So I just called her, and I never forgot I was in Jacksonville, and I called her, I said, hey. I don't like being married to you goodbye it's over I don't like being married to you

bye bye bye I said hey I'm not coming home tomorrow I said I'm just not happy I don't want to get into all the reasons I don't even have a podcast there's no clubs on Mondays I don't like it I don't like being around you right that's really i mean that's kind of what it was but and then she goes okay and she keep mine the paperwork

still hasn't come in so now i'm telling her i just need time and finally the week the next week my lawyer calls yeah it's come in we're about get hurt. We're about to bring the papers to the house. And I went, oh. And I was calling my manager and stuff, and I felt bad. So I was like, I'm going to tell her. I just want a divorce, and you're about to get served some papers. I didn't want her to be blindsided. That was a bad move.

I should have just got her blindsided because it would have been over with. When I called her and said I want a divorce. By blindsided, you mean pretend to be – A process of her knocking on the door. Pretend to – Giving her papers. To adopt her, sell the story to Hollywood, and then get the money? Is that what you mean? The blindside?

The Michael O'Hare? Oh, that's right. Right. Adopt black kids? See what I'm saying? Yeah. It was a joke that I'll probably cut out because it's too constructive. It's okay, guys.

We do. We're doing good. And so she didn't like being served. Her thing was you went behind my back again because when I had left her like four years prior, she had said, if you ever feel this way again, just tell me. And, of course, you're going to say, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll tell you. If I'm going to leave you again, I'll tell you. And that was her big thing was like you we talked about this and did it and i was like i said kenny i just don't i just want to be married and then she

i literally could hear the they were knocking on the door and she wasn't answering i was like the doors somebody's knocking on the door could be some great could be flowers and she just never answered and then she avoided the process server and then she came down down to L.A. and filed a couple days later, and I didn't know this. And that's when it hit TMZ and everything. Got it. Still to this day, I don't know that play. Why would you go to L.A.?

We lived in Contra Costa County. Yeah. To this day, I can't get it out of her. Like, why did you go to L.A.? I don't understand. I understand if you filed in California. Well, it seemed like it was a pr it seemed like that's what it seems she says no but i it doesn't make sense to come to la and then so

the next four or five months was us avoiding the process server me and her i was sticking yeah she was trying to avoid it and i was trying to avoid it she was avoiding ohio you were avoiding in california yep And who got popped? We got her at a Panera Bread in Antioch, California. Did it feel like when they got Saddam Hussein? Ladies and gentlemen, we got him. Ladies and gentlemen, we got him. But it's still that whole...

Where'd you get her? A Panera? A Panera Bread. Wow. That seems... I feel like you should bonus out the server somehow. Get him a gift card for Panera, 100 bucks. And then it's finally okay kind of? It's done?

Yeah, the divorce is final. We settled out of court. We went to mediation. The kids aren't talking to me right now. That's the tough part. Call your dad about it. Yeah, we'll talk to him about that. He's got a call your dad about it. Yeah. We'll talk to him about that. He's got a lot of experience with it.

Yeah. And that's the hardest part. When you say you don't want to become your dad, it's almost like I don't want to move on without him. Because I'm like, I don't want to. I feel like I'm. Without the kids? Even my kids. I don't want to.

Yeah, especially you don't want to. I think the difference is I'm trying to keep them involved. They're choosing not to. And my dad didn't try to keep me involved. Yeah. So it's tough, though, because it's like, dang, man. Because I haven't seen him in two and a half years now. It must be crushing.

Yeah. But, you know, it's like my daughter just recently gave me a new cell. So at least we're somewhat texting. So that's, I mean, that's baby steps, I guess. That's one of them. How many kids? Well, there's three. There's two that are biologically mine and then an older son that I raised with her.

Great. So who are you in touch with? My daughter, it's very superficial text from her. I'll try to reach out, reach out. A lot of emojis, shit like that? No emojis. It's more like, so just hit like, last week I paid her tuition,

and I got a thank you. So, you know. My son is, he's just, I don't know. He's just. The oldest son? The oldest son, not really a lot of contact. Yeah, that's not going to happen, I don't think. But my son, he's still at the house and it's just more like, it's hard.

I'll try to text him and he'll text me everything I'm doing wrong. And I don't even engage him anymore. I just be like, I'm sorry you feel that way. Love you. It's really short. Like, I'm not. And I don't even engage him anymore. I just be like, sorry, I feel that way. Love you. It's really short. Like I'm not about to go back and forth with him anymore. He's like, sorry, I feel that way. Love you.

He'll hit me up sometimes at a random. I feel like he's trying to reach out, but he doesn't know how. So I'll just hit with, I always just hit him back with a love you. Sorry, I feel that way. Love you. It's real short. Are you just kind of like hopeful hopeful little change it's weird like everyone i talked to went through a messy divorce and a messy public divorce it's gone

like everyone told me it was gonna go and there was one guy who told me i'm not gonna say who but he said he didn't nobody knew this he didn't talk to his kids for four years. And I didn't know that. And then he said his kids was really mad because he cheated on their mom. And it was like they couldn't get over it. But now that his sons are older and they're public figures, they're like – the one kid called him and said, hey, dad, sorry. I didn't know it was like that. So now that he has some life experience, it was like, oh. Okay. So you're just kind of like, I just got to get through it.

Yeah. You're just kind of day to day trying to get through it. Okay. Well, the thing that I'm talking to you, you're not very bitter. You're like not, you're just, you seem like pretty uh like all the stuff the the way you grew up you're in the navy for how long six years so like it's a bunch of sucky things right like trailer park navy uh and then but you seem like you seem to have like a good spirit. Yeah, I mean, I think I don't try to overthink things. And I do have anxiety.

Oh, do tell. When like anxiety attacks are just generalized. I've had a couple anxiety attacks. I had one in Vegas where I was stuck. It's weird when it hits you. I was stuck and I went in a bath. It was like at, what do you call it? What's the one

The pool everybody goes to in Vegas the day party I think it's called Petri dish Petri dish sundaes No A Dre's, Dre's Petri dish It's not Dre's it was the other one I can't remember the name anyways I just remember I locked myself in the bathroom For like an hour

I was just like I couldn't move I was just stuck And I was like heart rate up I don't know what it was it was just like i couldn't move i just i was just stuck and i was like heart rate up i don't know what it was it was just like everything just got overwhelming and it should have been a good time because i was i was there doing a movie yeah and a funny movie and i don't know what happened i was just like whoa and my buddy saw it and my buddy was like he goes you all right i said i don't i don't know let's go take a walk i just remember we took a walk and i was like dude that was weird i don't really know. He goes, let's go take a walk. I just remember we took a walk. And I was like, dude, that was weird.

I don't really know what happened. And I just snapped out of it. Sitting in a thing? In a corner. Like in the bathroom in the corner. I was just sitting there. Like I said, I got to sit down. But I didn't want to be around anybody.

Yeah. It's packed. So I remember just sitting there just rocking. Are people seeing you? No, no, no, no. It was one of them. It was one private. A stall. Got it. Yeah, yeah. Not not a stall like you had the whole bathroom yourself oh it wasn't a stall it was like

you had the sink cool this is a one-off great yeah and that's the only like specific anxiety attack you've gotten yeah and do you know what led up to it or it was just like i don't know i really don't looking back on it like that was august that was probably august september of 2021 so it was right after everything kind of hit the fan she had gotten served oh it's a lot it's just an overload yeah i think it was a lot and i remember i went to court the week before and we were going over jurisdiction and and it was like actually it should have been a good time in my life because my lawyer had called and said yeah the divorce is going to go down in ohio and i got the i got that movie and i was just like all right this is i should be in a good frame of mind i don't know what happened it was weird you just had a lot of feel that's the thing

people are like what's going on it's like you just too many things were happening. Yeah. So you just got overloaded. Yeah, probably. You don't, but you don't seem like, do you feel like you've, are you mostly doing the right things in life? Like, do you feel like you stand by your actions in most scenarios? Like, are, and are you successful? Like, do you feel successful overall, not just career-wise, but like your entire portfolio of life? I think so. I think I, I, I think I beat the odds. Yeah. When I look back and I see people saying you become a, you repeat the cycle, so to speak. So I had, I got two cycles. I'm not trying

to repeat. I'm not trying to repeat what my dad did. And then I'm also not trying to repeat where I'm growing up, stuck in a small town in a trailer park. And so it's like growing up, I remember thinking, will my stepdad be going off on me? I just remember thinking, oh, I'm going to prove you wrong, bro. In my brain, I was like, I'm going to prove him wrong. He didn't like you? No no no and but just basic reasons yeah he was dealing with a lot he definitely had some ptsd he never got dealt with he was in the military or something no he just because his thing was you don't know what heart is i said i have no doubt your childhood

heart of the mind but you didn't deal with it. Yeah. You know? So I remember every time he'd be like going in on me, I'd be like, Oh, okay. It was like a mental note. Like I'm gonna prove you wrong. And he's really the reason I've never, never broke the law. I never did any drugs. Cause I never wanted to have to go back to him for help or go back to him to be like, or a friend to say, I knew it. What was his angle on you? I can't, I don't know. He's just a, he's one of the worst human beings I've ever met in my life.

And I think that's why I gave my dad so many chances because he was nice when you're around him. So it was like, when I would, I look forward to seeing him on Sundays, you know, because he was nice. Your dad? Yeah. Your biological dad?

He wasn't yelling at me. I wasn't getting hit. I wasn't getting put down. So it was, he was nice your dad yeah your biological he wasn't yelling at me i wasn't getting hit i wasn't getting put down so it was it was nice and he asked he did ask like how's it going no i never got asked that you know so my stepdad was more of uh man you just couldn't do anything i just couldn't do anything right it was constant did they have kids they had three together. My brother died of a heroin overdose. My other brother, about a year and a half ago, they found him in a grocery store parking lot. And it was winter.

And I don't know if he took drugs. I don't know if he was sick. But they found him. He was gone. He was in a coma for a couple months. And he made it out. They wanted to take him off life support, and my mom said no. So he did end up coming out, but they – I don't talk to that side either, but he's a lesser version of himself now.

He can't hold – from what I've heard, he can't hold a conversation. He just kind of sits there, and he'll answer you, but he doesn't remember much. He doesn't remember that our brother Dallas died. He doesn't remember he used to deal drugs. He doesn't remember he's been in jail. He doesn't remember any of that. So those were, that's my stepdad's two kids. And then I got a sister, Ashley. She's, I think she's living in Columbus. I'm not sure where she's at anymore. But yeah, you don't seem like you got a light spirit still. Yeah. Well, stand up, man.

I think stand up helps. Didn't help me. Well, it didn't help me with my spirit. No, I know what you mean. It is. But you're like you're I do kind of like more fucking heady. Thank you. Stand up.

So it's like your stand up is more fun than mine. Yeah. So but I think it's directly because of what it's like your stand-up is more fun than mine yeah so but i think it's directly because of what you're like do you know what i mean like i'm not when we stop doing it's like even if we had a conversation it's we just have different energies but i'm saying yours is lighter yeah and that's and whereas you didn't it seems like you didn't get weighed down by any of the adversity. I always had a release, like, to go to school. It's weird.

Like, I hated missing school because that was, that's where I could, my personality could come out. Yeah. Couldn't come out at home. So I just remember I used to love going to school because that was like, I was performing. I was having fun. Yeah. People was laughing. I don't know where it comes from, but I just don't, I to overthink the future too much. It's more like, let me just get through today. Even like I got alimony payments and people were like, damn. I go every month I pay it. I go, okay, I'm good for this month. I'm good. You know what I mean? I got eight more years of it, but I'm good. We got this month done. You know what I mean?

I got eight more years of it, but I'm good. We got this month done. Yeah, and that's a good way. And you just automatically were like that? Or was it like military taught you shit? What things improved your overall mood or state of mind? Military helped tremendously. Because I remember we get to boot camp, I'll never forget we got I flew from Cincinnati to Orlando and we got off the bus that morning and I remember I was so relieved because I was like

I am on my own and I don't need anybody for any I don't need my stepdad I don't need my mom I don't need anybody I go now i'm in control of my life and it was i remember most guys were going through boot camp like it was so hard i remember thinking it was so easy and almost fun oh yeah i was just like oh this is because everybody was getting yelled at that's funny everybody wasn't you wasn't by yourself yeah and when somebody did get yelled at you rallied around that person who was ever in your company. You tried to help them. Yeah.

Whether they made their bed wrong or they couldn't pass the PT test, couldn't swim, things like that. You just try to help them. Yeah. And so I was like, oh, this is very – the military helped a lot. Well, that's interesting when you come from a shitty environment. Like, oh oh this is great this is like a this is like this is an improvement yeah so and you got to be funny well i remember i said i got it i i knew i wanted to be a stand-up i just didn't know how but i remember i had

something when the first morning i was the first guy to get yelled at right off the bat because i yawned so they wake up like 3 30 in the morning and i didn. Cause I yawned. So they wake up like three, three in the morning and I didn't realize I yawned. And he was, you know, I'm boy, my boy and you, and then now I'm sitting right next to my company commander for breakfast.

And we're in that chow line. And I remember he was like, he goes, the cook was like, what do you want? And the company guy was like, I want eggs. He goes,

how do you want your eggs? He goes over easy. He was like, how easy? He goes, he was like was like easiest owens's girlfriend and then the guy goes how easy is owens's girlfriend and he looked at me i said easy like sunday morning sir and the cook was black he was like oh and my company commander kind of chuckled like note to self black people like my comedy yeah right and i remember thinking i think when it came out, I was like, oh, I'm about to get fucked up. Or nothing happened. They just kind of chuckled about it.

And I was like, oh, I got something here. And almost like it was my first realization that I could kind of disarm people. So I was like, oh. And I swear to God, that cook, I saw him for the next two months in boot camp and he always like, gave me like a half grin. Yeah.

He was just like, almost like a head nod like that came through. He never forgot that. And they're all, everyone's yelling in the military? Even the, like,

what kind of eggs do you want? Everything's yelling? Not all the time. In the beginning, yeah. I think in the beginning, it's, you're trying to shock the system.

Like, we gotta, yeah. But then you settle in. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's it. Because you realize when you. In the beginning, yeah. I think in the beginning, you're trying to shock the system. But then you settle in. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because you realize when you're in the military, after about a month, every week you're getting new companies coming in. And you can tell when they come in. And then you can tell, like, oh, they're pissing their pants right now. Yeah.

Oh, my God. And at this point, you're in a routine. You know breakfast. you know what you're about to do next you're going to field house to exercise you're just like yeah going through your day when you can see you always see the first cup when they first come through like oh they think their life's about to be over at this point yeah so military helped anything else do you ever go to therapy you ever do medicate anything um never medicated uh no i think just talking it over with people that not necessarily therapists yeah like close friends manager things like that you know i mean so you i

had people i could like i could really talk and was honest with me yeah you know what i mean like that's not you that's not right you're not right doing that because i'm not i don't say i'm not right and everything well yeah um it was great talking to me i was this very interesting to me yeah same here i hope everything works out all the time i hope you never stop missing those alimony payments yeah me neither i bet and then there's that thing where you get to have a party on the last month. Is that what happens? Well, the last payment, like basically people will take the month they don't have to pay, they'll go to a bar and bring the money.

Oh, I probably won't do that. I'm probably going to Greece. That's how much the alimony is. I'm like, Neil, a bar? Nah, I'm taking a Neil, a bar? Nah, I'm taking a trip. Great. Yeah.