Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - JB Smoove

Episode Date: August 22, 2024

Neal Brennan interviews JB Smoove ('Curb Your Enthusiasm,' 'SNL,' 'Pootie Tang' & more) about the things that make him feel lonely, isolated, and like something's wrong - and how he is persevering despite these blocks. ---------------------------------------------------------- 00:00 Intro 1:30 Writing for SNL, Pootie Tang, Curb Your Enthusiasm  4:34 Neal guesses JB’s net worth 5:43 Curb Your Enthusiasm 6:43 Marriage 7:15 Simple  11:10 Horrible Memory 14:41 Larry David & Curb 18:26 Sponsor: Tushy 20:16 Patience 28:41 SNL 36:37 Sponsor: ExpressVPN 37:57 Doing Too Much  43:19 Marriage 48:31 The Point of JB Smoove 50:34 How He’s Grown ---------------------------------------------------------- Follow Neal Brennan: https://www.instagram.com/nealbrennan https://twitter.com/nealbrennan https://www.tiktok.com/@mrnealbrennan Watch Neal Brennan: Crazy Good on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81728557 Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81036234 Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle Sponsor Blocks: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/blocks Sponsors: https://www.HelloTushy.com use promo code NEAL for 10% off your first bidet order https://www.ExpressVPN.com/NEAL for an extra 3 months free! ---------------------------------------------------------- #podcast #comedy #mentalhealth #standup Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey everybody, it's the Blacks Podcast. It's me, Neil Brennan and we heal the earth. My guest today is a, a long time buddy of mine. I saw him on tape do a bit in 2001 about when you see a bit so fine, you go home and tell your wife about it, take her home and show your wife, take her home and show your wife and then believe this. home and show your wife. Take her home and show your wife. And then. You ain't gonna believe this, wake up.

You ain't gonna believe this. He would say, you ain't gonna believe this. Then he would show the wife, then this woman he saw at the club. Show her the ass, turn around, show her the ass. Then he would start masturbating. Then the wife would start masturbating and then the woman from the club would start masturbating.

It's the craziest scene ever. And it was so goddamn funny, I can't stand it. Let me pack your stuff, let me pack your stuff. He, around that time, you were writing for Chris Rock Show? Or no, Louis just put you in some shit? Just gotta, just put me in some stuff, man, here and there. Louis TK would thought, we all thought J.B. would be funny. Louis put him in some shit.

There were a few sketches first. Then I came back and just stand up on the show. It wasn't many people who did stand up on the show. No. Maybe three? Yeah, I remember you, Melanie Camacho. Yeah. Chris Spencer.

Somebody, yeah, three of us, yeah. And then you got hired to write for SignWrite Live. Didn Didn't really get anything on but you did. I heard you had a great sketch idea which was a butt baby. Butt pregnant. But pregnant. That's one that made it. Did it make it on? A butt pregnancy. I'm pregnant in my butt. The things that didn't make it was really surprising the ones that didn't make it. Man surprising, the ones that didn't make it. I asked them, man, they called me the pitch king over there. Even now. I'm not a pitch king. The pitch king.

Yes. Man, had all the pitches, man. All of them, I had some amazing pitches. You're one of the greatest bullshitters in the history of the earth. You gotta know how to bullshit a little bit. You know what? You gotta be a good salesman.

Yeah. You know what, that's what this business is, right? You're a salesman. You're selling people shit, whether it's real or not, or it's a version of real or it's total bullshit that sounds real. Real enough for you to laugh at it. You're doing the subdued JB? I'm doing a little both.

Once I cross my right leg over my left, I'm a different JB. This shit right here. Everybody knows that. I mean, this is the- JB, before we rolled, said we're the, to the only slim motherfuckers left. To the leanest, to the leanest. Leanest motherfuckers, we're doing lean

motherfuckers of comedy. A lot of motherfuckers let themselves go. Everybody let themselves, it's not a lot, a couple motherfuckers, everybody let themselves go. Get away from themselves. And they think this is easy, it doesn't. You know what happened? Here's where the fuck happens, they leave the parking brake off. What the fuck is it? It doesn't. Here's what the fuck

happens they leave the parking brake off. What the fuck is the parking brake on? Yes. We keep the parking brake on. They always say put the parking brake on and when you park on a hill you turn the wheel is it towards the curb? Well if it's downhill you turn towards the curb. Yes. When shit starts going downhill you gotta make sure you turn that bitch cuz your friend first of all your frame I'm not gonna be able to hold her at a weight. I'm not gonna limp because I I ate so much cake. I started to limp. No, you can't do that Let yourself go but let yourself go it is

Metaphoric in some ways. I totally agree. It's your mental gets away from you first. Correct. And your body get away from your ass. Correct. And then people get away from your ass. See? Correct. Three levels.

That's how this shit works. All right. So then he was on SNL. It went fine. Then you got cast on Pootie Tang. Hey, man. You going to the biggest party tomorrow, man? You right you right, it's next to women then you got cast in curb

Getting that ass Larry. Don't worry you you ought to order a little bit But you know you I get the gist of it. Yeah, JB's moving a lot of shit. Yes But by the way, it wasn't like it was going okay. No, I'm fine. Believe me, man. I'm probably one of the most low key business people, I call it business. Sure. In the fucking industry. Nobody knows what I got.

They don't know how much I got. I could guess pretty much. Nobody knows how much I got. I could guess, I could guess pretty much. Nobody knows how much I got. In all honesty, because it's, what a secret, secret, secret shit I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta have something to yourself. I'm gonna write a number down.

Everything is not for everybody, everybody's digestion. I'm gonna write a number down. This is savings. No, it's just what it is. But you put- This is savings, and then this may not include property. Open that up.

Let me just lock this shit over here. Let me see what the fuck you put down there. Boy, let me tell you something, boy. What are you fucking mathematician? I guessed it. You put the pyramids in there? I know your revenue stream. I know what you're doing.

I know what you got for the fucking Caesars. I know what you got for the fucking you don't Caesar's I know he got for the Caesar sportsbook Caesar tells the jokes around you Now which one of you legendary quarterbacks is gonna pass me the great? I know what you got for Smirnoff. I know White claw white claw boy, I'm sorry White you did Smirnoff and white claw or only white claw If it was a smart up will be smooth enough. I would have changed the fucking name. Sure You always put your personal. Yes every product So then you were on curb and that's pretty much you've been sort of I'm not gonna say you it's it's been it's been

Eight it's been your ace in the hole for 23 years. Oddly enough, Curb was absolutely amazing. But it was several times where I actually had deals and I was actually doing Curb and another show at the same time. Yeah. So which is what we do, because people think,

because you're on TV on a show like Curb, like you're doing that shit all year round. People don't understand. Doing it every two years. We know what it is, but people, the masses, the fans who love the show appreciate everybody who love the show. Yeah.

But it does not how it works. You shoot for three or four months and you're done. Yep. And then you wait two years. You wait two more years. Yep. People, they don't know time, how time goes.

No. You know, we know how time goes. Sure. We know we got to keep working. We know we got to do something. Yes. Stand up on commercials. All right.

Well, animation, voiceover work. We got, we got to keep going. Here's my question for you. You don't, you, you're married. Yeah. You stayed married for how long? 17 years of married, 23 together. You got two kids?

One daughter. One daughter. She works for me. She works for me. Great. She runs, runs, which is great. It is? Yeah. So you can keep an eye on your kids way better. You can keep an eye on somebody you hire. Oh that's true. Yeah she's not really gonna rob you. Yeah I can't see that. Alright and how old is she? She just turned 30. Okay.

Okay well here's what I'm curious about is you don't seem that complicated. I'm one of the simplest people, you know me man. Keep my head low, I just move a certain way and I never complain about shit. Right. You know, a lot of comedians, we are very particular animals. We're never happy, although it seems like we're happy.

A lot of friends I know are not fucking happy, they're not happy with anything. Fat motherfuckers, go ahead. You know, people who let themselves go, then they turn the wheel towards the curb, whatever, but we, they get caught up in things that really aren't that important. We are in the business of making people happy.

How have you avoided that? We're not in the business of making everybody else happy. How have you avoided it? Or have you? just making everybody else happy. How have you avoided it? Or have you? I just, you know how it was, man. You know, when comedies took this amazing turn and became this monster. Very, very popular in the last decade.

It became this thing where it was everything. It was like minor league baseball until about 2010 and then it became professional wrestling. Yep, yep, yep. So you already know that we are very particular animals, man, and we forget that we are providing something for people to be happy. And then it becomes us being happy.

Then it becomes us being envious of someone else. Because they're happy. You can't do that. You can't do all this shit at the same time. You gotta stay where, wherever your lane is. And I made this decision a long time ago, man. Which is, even in the Deaf Comedy Jam era the BET era

Girl you know a song is a shit If you can stand online waiting for your food stamps to the beat of that motherfucker Can you guys do it again? I always told myself that I was never gonna do one thing. You never really got associated with any of it. I did all of it. I did all of it. You did it, but it wasn't like he's that dude from. But I wasn't locked in to the point where I had to do it five, six times.

You know, I always made sure I was doing other stuff, man. You know, and I'm just very good at building relationships. I'm very good at not worrying about things that people worry about. And I think that's a blessing. How do you avoid it? You don't. You mind your fucking business and you do you. So if you find yourself getting like jealous,

if you find that, if the wheel starts going that way, how do you get out of it? I don't, it don't go that way. It just doesn't even, it never did? It never went that way ever. I've never ever been jealous of someone else. Here's my thing, look, I always believe this. Someone's success doesn't mean your failure.

Yeah. And for some reason people think that. It feels like. People think that because someone else is blowing up. You can't do it. You can't do nothing about it. And you can't, if anything, the market, it just exploded. Yeah.

Which means it's time to invest in you and invest in what the fuck you do. Right. Why would you worry about what someone else is doing if it shows you that it's possible? So why could you call it that? And why even vocalize that shit? Keep that shit in your head, keep it in your mind and keep it to motivate you. Once you speak it out to the outward, it becomes that. And that's the last thing you want.

If someone wanted to say that, you wouldn't want nobody to say it about you, number one. So why even bother to gravitate towards that direction? I've had shit happen to me, plenty of stuff, but know who I am? I got a horrible memory. I got a horrible fucking memory. I'm laughing because it's helpful. It's helpful. You better learn how to forget shit because the world won't change again. Yes. It's gonna keep changing. I was in a car

service with this young dude man when I was telling him all this cool shit about movement and all that stuff. What do you mean? Just movement. Physical was just talking about it. Physical movement? No, just about the world. Yeah. How the world goes. Yeah. I said I can remember every era, every era back to fucking 12 years old, every era, pow, pow, pow, and I know that even the shit now, this shit gonna change. Mm-hmm. I said this shit gonna change and I told him, I said look man, don't get comfortable. Don't get comfortable driving this fucking this goddamn car service. I think what you're saying is you remember. He said no man I'm just doing this shit for a check but I'm in school I'm doing this I plan on doing this. Yeah. Exactly young

man. You remember the times but the thing I'll say about you is you were never of any of those times. I don't associate I'll say about you is you were never of any of those times. I don't associate, I don't even really associate you with Curb in a weird way because Curb's been so long. I don't exist. You know who the fuck I am sometimes? Snuffle Uppicus. Remember that motherfucker? Sure. Big Burry's friend. Sure. I'm Big Burry's friend. Say more. On purpose though. I'm not as heavy as him. We lean. I mean come on look at us, come on, look at us, come on. Come on, burnin', we burnin'. We burn 800 calories just sittin' here.

We ain't got that fuckin' shit goin' on either. But you gotta disappear sometimes. You gotta disappear. You gotta disappear and reappear all the time. Cause you know why? When motherfuckers get used to you, they get tired of your ass. Yeah, you're gonna disappear, come back fresh as fuck. You know how many times I've changed? I've

changed my look, my style. Every time someone else starts doing what I do, I change it up. If motherfuckers saw me wearing suits on stage, I change it up. Yeah, if someone saw me wearing cowboy boots, I change it up. If someone saw me wearing hats like me, I change it up. I just fucking just keep changing shit because Cause that way I can, you gotta be interested. It's interesting to yourself. Well, that's what I was going to say. You get bored with yourself. That's when you get stuck and you start pointing

fingers at everybody else cause shit is going differently. You've never chased anything. Never chased shit, man. It comes to you. Correct. Patience is a motherfucker. Yes.

You know why? When shit comes, it's going gonna come in the right form. You chase shit all goddamn day, man. You just rushing it to get to you. And sometimes you might not even be ready for it. How many things have you chased and done and now you look back and you're like, fuck, what a waste of time.

I have so many things I did like that where I was like, man, that was such a, I've never been a chaser, man. For some reason. You were deep into your 30s before Chris and everybody started fucking with you, right? Oh, yeah. And you never lost hope?

Here's what I think about. You know how you say you're bet on yourself and you can't lose. Cause you know your temperament. You know the shit that you're gonna go for. You know you're gonna get up early. You know you're gonna stay late. You know you're gonna do the things you need't lose. Because you know your temperament, you know the shit that you're gonna go for, you know you're gonna get up early, you know you're gonna stay late, you know you're gonna do the things you need to do,

whether it immaterializes or whether it shows up a year, two years, five years, 10 years from now, 15 years from now, it shows the fuck up. The point is it shows up. Which keeps you consistent, keeps you in people's different genres, different age groups, always know you. What are your work habits?

You say that, you say like your work habits, you know what you got. I'm always thinking of, I write shit down every day. I write something down every day. I write funny shit down every day because it comes to me and I say, oh, that's gonna be funny one day. I might not use it right now. Right. Cause that shit gonna work one day. I write something down every day. I write funny shit down every day because it comes to me and I say oh that's gonna be funny one day. I might not use it right now. Right. I said shit gonna work one day. Do you ever like with Curb would you pitch stuff? Would you pitch plots? Would you pitch like we should talk about this? Oh

I'll pitch ideas. Because there's shit where like there's no fucking way Larry wrote I'm I'm lamping. What are you doing? I'm fucking lamping. What you doing? You're lamping? No, there's no way. All that, the show is so, it's like Larry is underhand pitching everybody, including myself.

It's literally effortless once you. Know what it is. You know what, I always use this analogy about the golf swing. Once you know what tickles that motherfucker, right? I know how to tickle that motherfucker. Right. You know, I don't even got to touch him.

I know what tickles that motherfucker. I know when his face changes. I know when I got him and what kicks in then. Stand up sensibilities. Yeah, exactly. We know when we got somebody. What's funny is cause I can, watching it, I know when you tickled him and then cut, when they cut back to you, I know that you have, I know when you tickled him and then when they cut back to you,

I know that you have, you know you have him. I like lampin'. I do this, I fuckin' do some shit like this. Yep. And I'm givin' it to him and I know I got his ass on his heels. Yes. And what do we do?

Comedians, we have great intentions for people, but we have weird intentions. In my brain, I'm thinking like, man, if I can make a snot bubble come out this motherfucker's nose, one of the funniest motherfuckers I know, I know I'm on my way to doing some amazing shit because I can make this motherfucker laugh every time. And it also opens up, you get a laugh on Lampin'

and then he goes Lampin'. and then he goes, Lampin. What the fuck man? And then you go, oh I know five fuckin' beats I can do on this right now. I know five beats I can do on that shit right now, because that is, that's the power of improv, you know? You're in the moment, you're really in the moment for real. Right.

You know, it's when you, you can't even overthink it if you know the rules of the game, and you know what the show is already. So my thing is this, man, you know, I go as far as I can go. I think of the most outlandish. But was there prep? Did you prep that? No, that was a fucking prep. So we, the writing shit down every day is a separate thing.

It's a separate thing. All right. So there's no dialogue is just the outline of what every day is a separate thing. It's a separate thing. All right. So, there's no dialogue. It's just the outline of what the episode is. Right. Everything else is off the fucking dome, which means that all he got to do is put me in a position to say some crazy shit. Like even the thing where you guys are arguing over what temperature to have inside.

My motherfucking man Larry, but 72, shit. I'm out of sleep outside. Okay. I'm an 82 man myself. When I saw it, I couldn't believe it. It's the funniest, easiest shit ever. He has a way of tapping into the human, the things that bug people.

Yeah, everyone. He just fucking knows it. Yeah. And Larry's another guy who writes shit down every day. Yeah. But he just knows these buttons that people press with each other, which means that everything's relatable. Yeah. And so he goes, well, black people like it's 79, white people like it's 70. Right.

I want to sleep in 68 degree temperature. She wants to sleep in 75 degrees. Let's compromise at 72. Oh no, fuck that Larry. So he can do the white, he knows why he wants it 70 and he can automatically go to why you would want it 79. Why would you want it 79? 82 my shit.

82, wasn't it 82? Yeah, I always forget. 82 my shit. Yeah. Hey, you know how I talk about bidets all the time? I've done jokes about bidets. I'm doing one now about bidets. I believe in the bidet lifestyle.

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It does everything you want a bidet to do. And I don't like to get too specific of what it does because it's pretty private, but I will tell you it's been a transformation across the board. It travels easy. You can make it compact for the travel and then it expands with the water. And then when it's time to spray, get your tushy travel and go to town. It's got a three stream nozzle for a total clean. It's got the new air mesh bag for discreet travel and faster dry time. Uh, it's got the new anti-corrosion carabiner and key ring for ultra

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That's 10% off your first bidet order when you use code NeilNEAL at checkout. That's 10% off your first bidet at hellotushy.com with promo code NEAL. Tushy, guys, there's only a few things I openly endorse and have for most of my life. Well, most of my adult bidets, travel and at home. Tushy. So we've been doing great and I guess how much money has a nice amount. Um, problem you have practicing patience. It's one of your blocks. This is, is something that I have been conscious of all the time.

We people, is just a normal instinct for people to rush things to themselves. And then we talked about earlier, I'm patient in what I do. I have a hard time convincing other people to be patient. Okay, well that's what I was asking. They don't believe. What were you doing in your 30s?

You're doing spots in New York. Realizing that. And not even like real good spots. Realizing that you only got this one fucking life. And when you lose people or you see things or you see people upset with where they are, it forces you to realize that, yo, I need to plant a bunch of seeds so I can eliminate being impatient for shit to come because you put a what did it say put a bunch of shit

on the fire yeah you know me put a bunch of shit on the fucking fire one of them is gonna pop you know one of these gonna pop but they're gonna pop when the fuck they want to pop yeah so in order for that to happen you got to understand that this little victory here this little pot right here, the smallest pot up there, that little pot right there might be the one that's gonna pop first. Yeah. And you got to deal with that little pot. That little pot right there is a little voiceover on an animated cartoon. Right. You know this big old pot might be a commercial campaign. Right. You know this way it might be Spider-Man

Far From Home. You know what I mean? This way it might be the Chris Rock show now this way it might be spider-man far from home you know I mean this way it might be the Chris Rock show this way it might be whatever it is all these curb enthusiasm all these pots are going at the same time if you put all them fucking pots on at the same fucking time right your dream would be for all those motherfuckers to pop at the same fucking time but guess what you know that one you you can't do all that shit at the same fucking time. But guess what? You only got one you. You can't do all that shit at the same time. I always say even in the best life, all your dreams come true. But not in the order you want them to.

They do not. They, it still baffles me like this was the order? This was a fucking order of things. But in my case, my case, my order was correct. And you never got impatient. No, no. Everyone was, whether it's a minor victory or a big victory, it is a part of the scheme of things.

So your daughter's born 30 years ago. 30 years ago, you didn't have much of a career. I'm going to tell you, I did shit that if you don't believe in yourself and what you can do, you become impatient. Know what I did when my daughter was born, the day she was born, I quit my day job. I said fuck this job. Who does that shit? Where you gonna get milk and fucking diapers from? Where you gonna get milk and fucking diapers from? Where you gonna get all this shit from? What was the day job?

I was working at a print shop. I actually studied. In Brooklyn? No, in fucking Westchester, in Thornwood, New York. Right? I could have been quit that job several times. One time they didn't even have my fucking check one time. I've done a few times they didn't have my fucking check. And I was gonna to quit that bitch.

But I stayed on. You know why? Because even a check that I didn't get yet, right? It's still a check I'm going to get one day. So you can't just leave this fucking, you can't leave money on the table. Sounds deep. Like gambling, you can't leave money on the table. Of course.

Well, no, you earn the money. You earn the fucking money. You wait for your money to come. So you literally. If you leave, you might not, if they don't see your face every day, you might not get that shit. Did you tell anyone? Small company, yeah, they fucking know they owe me money.

But did, no, no, no. Did you tell anyone you were quitting? Did you tell your mom? Did you tell your girl? Why the fuck am I telling my grown ass man? I knew, here's what I knew. How old were you? Now, I was already doing standup. I was already doing it. I was already doing a few things. But here's what made me realize.

I went for an audition for In Living Color. They flew me out to LA with a bunch of other people. I said, yo, I'm doing this shit for real. I'm gonna tell you something crazy. There's a few things that happened that made me realize that I can do this. I understood what it was, understood the game, understood that this was something new

and something that was gonna explode just as big as rap did, you know what I mean? And you mean black comedy or comedy in general? I saw the hip hop era go. Comedy or black comedy? Black comedy. Okay. Black comedy, which becomes comedy also.

Right. You know what I mean? But back then it really was different. It really was an explosion of black comedy. Know what I, and I said, here's another thing I realized. I told it to anybody who will listen to this. You'd be surprised what the fuck you do when you have to.

You'd really be surprised. Go on. What the fuck you do when you have to and you're not waiting for someone to give you something. You're going out to get it. When I quit that job, I said, the only way I'm gonna be able to do this is to get rid of that fucking day job. That's the only way I'm gonna have time

to concentrate on this. That's the only way I'm gonna be able to do N this. That's the only way I'm gonna be able to do NACA and do all these colleges and be able to go on auditions and be able to travel and do stand-up is I got to get rid of this job right here. This shit gotta go. Me just going home and going downtown every night to perform and then

getting back home to go to bed to get up in the morning by 7 in the morning and go back to fucking work. Yeah. And take my fucking bars and my fucking check ain't there all the time and you know me yeah and I'm working on somebody fucking house which is too that's a whole other issue that's more business shit okay you pick your stuff I don't want to smell how you live I don't want to smell your bedroom you know my workplace shit going on I don't smell your soup fucking

dog in a fucking walking around. It's fucking how about some professionalism. Little kid come home from school. Gotta take my shoes off at my fucking job. All this shit. My fucking job. I gotta put my fucking lunch in your fridge. I gotta open your fridge.

What the fuck is happening here? What have we done here? What the fuck am I doing here? But what even is this? If I wasn't patient, right? But wasn't patient, none of this happens. None of this happens.

Right, you're patiently impatient. You're like, I'm- Patiently impatient. And I always say this, I appreciate the patience it takes to be patient. Sounds deeper than it is, but go on. It's fucking deeper than it is. It really is deeper.

Because tic-tics up. It really takes a strong will to be patient. In the midst of seeing things happening. Right? You want that. You want that shiny thing over there. Right? But you gotta be patient to get there.

Some people have been en route to that longer than you. Yeah. Right? Some shorter. You notice it and say, ooh, that's doable. The Yeah. Right? Some shorter. You notice it and say, oh, that's doable. The shorter ones are the hard ones. When someone jumps you, you're like, hmm. So patience is that thing,

when you say patience is the virtue, when things come, you see them coming, you say, oh, that's what that's for. But you gotta be conscious of it all the time so you believe in a form of I don't want to call it manifestation or or or destiny, but you just kind of my wife told me I was gonna be on Kirby enthusiasm She told me I was gonna be on the show She said I see it. I can see you and Larry together

So you do crazy stuff all the time. This show is crazy. You fucking. What season did you start? You sit on the couch watching the show every Sunday. Season three? I came in six. Wow. So she said, you're gonna,

I said I love this goddamn show so much. I would love to be on it one day. She said, you're gonna be on that show one day. She said, I see it. I see you and Larry together. She said, you are, you do the craziest stuff and you're not afraid to commit to things. And did you audition?

Yeah, audition, yeah. So, and it was like- Everything but we talked about the order thing. Were you calm? No, I was the cockiest motherfucking JB Smoothie ever, just as cocky as I am. Cause here's what I believe, number one, everything had to happen in order.

If one thing is out of order it changes everything. I would never been in front of Larry David. You know, SNL, three seasons, fourth season didn't get renewed, right? But I knew I wasn't going to get renewed. See, I go back to this shit. If you don't believe in fucking you, you don't have movement and therefore you lose your patience

because you want everybody to do shit for you. I knew when I fired my agent, I wasn't going to go back to SNL. I said, there's no fucking way I have nobody to speak up for me. You need an agent to speak up for you, especially when they got other clients on the show. They got to be able to bring up JB Smoove

and say, we need JB one more season. Or let's keep JB on. You know? Someone gotta speak up for you. You fired your fucking agent, guess what happens? That motherfucker don't speak up for you. Yeah, well it doesn't matter. He didn't do anything anyway.

I knew. I said, I know what's gonna happen. I said, I can't take it no longer. I gotta get rid of this motherfucker. He's fucking up my flow. I fired his ass and I knew. I said, I just waited for it no longer. I got to get rid of this motherfucker. He's fucking up my flow. I fired his ass and I knew. I said, I just waited for the fucking shit to hit the fan. I said, I know I'm not going back.

There's no fucking way. Who gonna speak up for me? Unless they love me that much to bring me back for the fourth season of SNL. If you don't fucking in your heart believe who the fuck you are. You panic. Right.

You say, Oh shit. Yeah. I'm gonna pay my fucking bills. How am I going to do this? By the way, I know plenty of people that felt that way. I know Chris felt that way. I've known points when, when Chappelle felt that way. I like where you're like, fuck, fuck, fuck. You, but all right.

So you're, you're, you feel like I felt that way a million times. I finally don't think I ever will again, but all right, so you're, you're, you feel like, I felt that way a million times. I finally don't think I ever will again, but yeah. But you know what you do. You know how hard you work, right? It's just going to be replaced with something else. It's going to be replaced with something else. And here's another thing. Good people get good things.

You know? Bad people do too. They do, but in a different form. Bad people get shit sometimes short term until they realize this mother fucker ain't shit. Right. People who. Oh, if you're good at the job, yeah, yeah.

If you're good, you'll get. Yeah, but you gotta plant seeds with people. You gotta, you have to build relationships with people long term. That's what the fuck I did. And like I said, being patient is a thing that you have to completely concentrate on all the time because you have to know that that move you just made,

that chess move you made is gonna make sense later. What was the cocky, how cocky were you with Larry? How did you illustrate cockiness? I went in there as my, I went, I gotta, here's what I do when I go on auditions like that. I go in there as the character. Right. I went in there like they knew me already.

I came in there as a character because I know, I'm showing you the mannerisms, I'm showing you how the person walks, how they talk, all at the same time. Durag? Huh? Did you have a durag? No, no durag, how they talk, all at the same time. Do-rag? Huh? Did you have a do-rag? No, no do-rag. I just knew, I knew the mannerisms. You know what I mean?

I knew how this guy could work for the show. And, having been someone who watched the show, Ari and someone who took improv in fucking 1989 at the fucking old Improv Comedy Club. I'm not even sure how old we are. I know we're older than the motherfucker. That Improv Comedy Club on 44th and 9th. I took the improv class there. Guess what happened? After I took that class, that summer class,

the club closed down. That was it. That was the attack on the club. I was supposed to make it in there before that improv class went away. Right. You understand? So all this, the order of things that improv class went away. Right. You The order of things, 1993. 1993, okay. The order of things happens. I had to get that improv class in. Yeah. Right?

I had to see what the animal was, right? Mm-hmm. Then I had to realize that I gotta get the fuck out of this job. I could get the fuck out of here too. There's a line in the Quran, the Muslim holy book. Yeah.

Summoning the effect of the hoarding, the hoarding of money is the act of a faithless man. Right? There's something about like just doing stuff to do it. That's the act of a faithless man. Like, and not being patient. Things gotta be calculated. But in order for them to be calculated,

you got to believe in what the fuck you do in particular. And that's why I bring up the improv class because without that improv class, that little tool, right, goes in my toolbox until 2000. But that allowed me to perform in that manner. I've always performed in the moment. I never know how I'm gonna end a joke. Even today, I don't know because I'm really performing for the moment. I never know how I'm gonna end a joke even today

I don't know cuz I'm really performing for the moment for people whatever the fuck they laughing at I give them more of that Yeah, I don't I'm not I'm terrible robot Horrible robot anything I've ever done has always been Me just cutting loose cuz I know what you can always turn down It's hard. hard well you guys just like like how to turn up we worked on Chris's movie top five together yeah and it was just like say this say that say this say that say that you say it you go all right we got that they don't tell you what to do you fucking do it how you

how you feel yeah they say pull back a little bit you pull back a little bit yeah but it's hard no they say it was to do, when they tell you to turn the fuck up, you don't know how to do it. You don't know how, how, how to turn up. That's the problem, but everybody knows how to pull back a little bit. Sure, but, and not everybody has the same acceleration. You have one of the best accelerators of everything.

You have, and that being said, man, I'm saying, I'm just using that as a example of Being able to Take these little moments, right You don't find out in the moment what they meant you find out later when you need it Yeah, what it meant. Yes, I bring up the improv thing but the it meant. Yeah, that's why I brought up the improv thing. But the re-motivation, you know, you're showing I'm doing, I'm using my improv skills to perform through all these college shows, all that shit. Then something comes up and says,

what you gonna do now, motherfucker? You got a newborn, you're barely making it, you're just doing little shows here and there in the city. What's the next step up? Next step up is, I'm gonna quit this fucking job, that way I got a purpose to fucking kill the game and do what I gotta do. After that, quit that, everything's sort of floodgates open up. I would like to implore people, be confident in yourself,

but you have to be talented. There's a lot of people believing in yourself, get a sense of are you one of the funniest people anyone's ever met? Are you one of the best looking people anyone's ever met? Like whatever the category you're gonna go into, you should be extraordinary in that way. Not just like I wanna, I don't wanna work a day job. Nobody wants to work a day job.

Nobody wants to fucking do that shit. Especially now, the world is moving too fast right now. Everybody wants what they see. Right. They get these stars in their fucking eyes, they want what they see and that's the problem with now. We didn't have that issue. We had to have patience. We had to pull the fuck over to make a phone call to call the promoter and said we're running late. Payphone. We had to fucking print papers. You look for change. Map quest. Correct. We had to do all this shit. Like Magellan. Magellan.

We would have to fucking print out, wait for the print. And still drive like, and see what the fuck. Yes. Oh, I have a co-pilot. Yo man. Yep. Where we turn at? And we did it.

I had to look for the street name. It wasn't no turn right. No. No. There were, yeah, you missed it. You missed it. You fucking missed it. You gonna be late-ter.

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But in the moment sometimes, I don't know if I'm doing too much. I don't know if I'm doing too much. Somebody might have to tell me after the fucking show, like, man, you were doing too much. You were doing too much. When you got the fuck out of the chair and started running around the audience,

you were doing too much. you got the fuck out of the chair and started running around the audience, you were doing too much, DTM. Have you gotten, is it just embarrassing? No, I just don't know, I don't know I'm doing too much until after. I go blind, deaf, and you know, I just go mute. Yeah. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing up there. Yeah.

But sometimes, yeah, some of my greatest moments have come. Yeah. Ignoring the rules. I break every fucking rule. Yeah. You know, I turn my back on the audience. Man, I go behind the fucking curtain. If there's a curtain, I go behind the curtain

and get fucking bit behind the curtain. And I just paint a picture that you can't see, but you're laughing at this shit because you think it's a whole nother world behind that curtain, you know, and like what the fuck is he, and then there's a whole bit behind that curtain that they can't see. You're just doing it. So when you say doing to DTM doing too much, is it, that's just, that seems

like occupational hazard of being you. I mean, that just seems like, I don't know, that's just that seems like occupational hazard of being you I mean that just seems like I don't know that's just what's gonna happen yeah we talked about it like his what but I use that in what we do but in in reality is doing too much can be doing too fucking much. Meaning people who drive too fucking fast or cut you off or just run in their fucking mouth or just like all these I think DTM is so you got to recognize when people are doing too much and you got to you got to excuse yourself. We all know when people are doing too much and you gotta you gotta excuse yourself. We all know when people are doing too much. We all know when they're

doing too much. But what do you do from when you're the person who's doing too much and we just discussed that you have a great accelerator. You can't do shit about it. I'm an accelerator. I got to take those chances because I'm going on instincts. Do you accept that part of yourself? Not all the time. Oh, okay. I know when I did too much. Do you beat yourself up? You don't seem like somebody to beat yourself up. No, no, no. What's the meanest?

I'm still laughing because shit was fucking funny. What is the biggest failure of your life? Not showbiz, any period of your life, anything you've done, any fuck up, and how rude were you to yourself? I always always think about people I lost, you know I mean was I the best? You lost your father at 15? Yeah I lost a lot of people you know I lost some good friends and I told myself I said look so I told myself about a year or two ago I

said look I'm gonna try to stick to this, which is if I think about somebody, if I think about them, I reach out to them. Because something that comes out of nowhere. You know what I mean? You know, I lost a buddy of mine Christmas Eve, and as much as I did, I couldn't, I hate, I hate not being able to control something.

I'm a control freak. My wife will tell you, I'm a control freak, man. I'm so worried about making it happen. If I think it's the wrong way, sometimes I get caught up in my own opinion of things instead of letting things play out. You're not being patient, you're not following your own advice. Because I care too much.

When you care too much, right, it's a different emotion, different human emotion. When you give a fuck, sometimes giving a fuck, too much becomes, people want you to give a fuck, but they don't want you to give a fuck. You know what I'm saying? It's like that, because sometimes when you give a fuck, you give a fuck to the point where it's your heart

that's in it. When you give a fuck too much, you're almost impeding things to go a certain way because of your own view of it, of how it can be done better. You know what I mean? I have a habit of doing that. So, or another way of doing it,

or the way I know it should be done. What do you and your wife argue about the most? Communication. You're not good? I'm terrible. I'm terrible. The talkin'est motherfucker of all time is bad at communicating.

I think I'm bad at communication. I do, because I'm always this speed. I'm always in an HOB lane. I'm fuckin' flyin'. You know what I mean? I'm fuckin' zoomin' sometimes. And you don't tell her shit she needs to know? Sometimes I don't. Is it just because you forgot? Or are you like, you don't like having

to tell everybody everything? No, I just think I'm just, I get caught up in shit sometimes. I get caught up in that better mousetrap. A better mousetrap, I get caught up in the shit. And sometimes I just go, like I said, sometimes better mousetrap, I get caught up in the shit. And sometimes I just go, like I said, sometimes I go blind, deaf, and fucking mute.

I go fucking mute on shit. I just can't, like, my brain will start racing. Cause I'm trying, cause I'm always thinking of what's next? I'm always thinking of how I can do something. I'm always thinking of how I can do something. I'm always thinking about how I can take Twisting how does that manifest? How is that bad for a marriage? I'm this guy right here It is bad for marriage. How not communicating

What in what area two people it's two people here, right? You got because look Let's just say I don't say, um, I'm leaving town until today. Right. You're, you're okay. You're fucking, you're like, what? Yeah. You're not fucking telling me that shit. Yeah.

I know I did it two days ago. Yeah. We do, we fucking like, we get caught up. Yeah. We, I'm telling you, this industry forces you to think, you have to force yourself to think more about the people close to you because look man comedians can be loners very easily

mm-hmm comedians could sleep on the motherfuckers couch for years trying to make it because they get locked they locked in on something. A lot of people who sleep on couches right now, like because they still are in that mode. They're being patient. They're being patient. But their dream is not without consequence. Right. Because whoever's closest to you has got to believe in that dream.

She's got to say move over, let me get on this couch with your ass. I know it's a little lovesy, but shit, that's fold our body up. You know what I mean? Have you had to tell your wife to like not take it personally? That shit don't work. Of course it doesn't.

But you gotta tell her. Yeah, it's fucked up, it's fucked up. But that's the one thing about entertainment that's rough, man, and my wife is a singer, producer, and actress. So it's that thing, man. You gotta, she's great at communication. I have my pockets. I have my pockets.

You know, a lot of times I'm very, I'm better. I'm better than I used to be. Cause I think that when you're running that race, that race man sometimes that race sometimes you're in the lead you're fucking at that baton you're so far you're ahead and you're turning that last turn you don't you could look back you forgot you you don't even have the baton. Sometimes you look back. I don't even I didn't even grab the baton. I just started running. Everybody's yelling, no, motherfucker. You need the fucking baton. Yeah, yeah.

But if you can run, if you're fast enough, you can go all the way around and get that bitch. Yeah, get the baton and keep running. Keep on fucking running, still fucking with that bitch if you're fucking good enough. Yeah. So you just gotta think about how hard you wanna go and that's what I mean by,

you know, not to mention the industry itself, but man, you gotta really, a lot of people don't make it. I'm blessed to have a wife who's supportive, man, who fucking loves me and sees my vision. But at the same time, I gotta be conscious of what she wants to do. I gotta be conscious of everything, man,

that's involved this relationship because it's really two people trying to do something amazing. And without support, it's very hard to get that. You can't rely on motherfuckers who don't give a fuck about you because you're getting the wrong feedback. Got to be somebody there to say, yo, I fucking love you, man. You fucking murdering this shit. Keep going, baby.

You need somebody to do that shit. You need somebody to have some food or something ready for you when you get home once in a while, but you gotta be able to do that too. Are you supportive? Oh fuck man, I'm very supportive man. And you're like you. I'm supportive, I can always.

You can put yourself aside. You can always be more supportive. Right. You can always be more supportive. I. You know, you can always be more supportive. I know I can do more because it's balancing both worlds. That's a little different, a little different. Sometimes you gotta do shit last minute. Like I just went to fucking Cannes.

I went to Cannes, I decided to go on a fucking Monday. For what? And I went for Tuesday. I decided to go on a fucking Monday. For what? Kansas is like, you know, you know, based on what I do, you know, there's Kansas movie, you know, festival, then there's Kansas advertising. Yeah. Lion, Kansas, Kansas lion. And I found out about Kansas lion about a week or two before, and I was like, Oh shit, I need to go to this bitch.

You know, cause I do a lot of commercials. Yeah. I love brand brand brand. I've been working with the brands for 15 years. I know this world shit I call myself the black Darren Stevens shit Darren I'm young Darren Steven, you know damn, you know, got them there's You're talking about Darren Stevenson be young person. I don't know what be wishes. I'm so young fucking be witches You know transsexual. That's how young I am. You'll see, you'll see, you'll see Genie.

I dream of Genie. You lie, you lie and say you ain't never look at that, at that goddamn Genie. Living in that motherfucking bottle. With a little one-battery bottle. That reference is getting ready to die with you. Oh fuck, man. You better go watch fucking Genie.

All right, so anyway. Okay, well here's my big question with you. Oh, fuck man. I'm gonna go watch a fucking TV. All right, so anyway. Okay, well here's my big question for you. What was the, what do you make of the entirety of your life? What was the point of JB Smoove? The point of JB Smoove is this, twofold. One, to entertain people and to inspire. I truly believe that you don't gain anything by taking knowledge with you to the grave.

I'm open about everything that is possible. I'll give comics the world. I'll give them feedback. I tell them how their mindset should be. I tell them don't get caught up in the rat race with everybody else. Find a way to step out of that motherfucker. You don't got to forget about everybody else, but you got. Find a way to step out of that, motherfucker. You don't gotta forget about everybody else, but you gotta find a way to step out and work on you.

Whatever you're missing in your movement, if you feel like you should be moving faster, make some, take some chances. Take a chance, man. A chance is a chance. A chance can, you know, take a chance. It should don't work, it should don't work. Right.

You got one fucking speed you should be working in and that's fucking movement. It should be moving all the time. Even if that movement don't work, you gotta be, I tell people all the time, man, you gotta, you really gotta understand human nature is first to respect love each other you know give people something that's memorable that's gonna make them remember who the fuck you are unrelated to what the fuck you do unrelated that's your fucking job your job is that you as a person that's a whole different thing you gotta attract people to you for them to love you to like you you know me you're gonna please everybody but if you can remain consistent and who the fuck you are you

grow as a person and that in turn is gonna benefit what the fuck you do. How have you grown as a person? Oh man, I don't, I just try to, I'm telling you man, I work very hard in things I feel like I'm lacking. You know, one, I try to, I'm working very hard on my communication skills, my wife, you know, I want her happy, working on hard on my communication skills, my wife. You know, I want her happy. Making sure my daughter is successful

and does what she wants to do in life, right? Nieces, nephews, man, I'm supporting, I want people to win. I don't have a you're gonna lose attitude towards anybody or anything. I want everybody to win. Did you always, were you always like that? Always like that man. I think when I was a kid man I used to get consumed with shit. Shit used to fuck with me so bad like just anything. I

couldn't even watch the like as a kid I couldn't watch bad news because that shit I would think about that shit all day like damn that's fucked up and I would get consumed with stuff like that because I felt like damn that person didn't get a chance to fulfill what they wanted to do in their life and I feel I hate thinking about lost opportunities for people. I feel like I got the thickest fucking skin on the fucking planet. I don't think shit can beat me, but that doesn't mean I can't think about it

and say, damn, what could they have done that's different? How could their life have been different than what it is? But I do think that's a benefit of being JB Smooth is, I'm very, I'm very determined, man. I truly feel like you can't beat me. You know Mike Tyson said that shit one time? He said, when I'm right, you can't beat me. Right.

When I'm right, I'm trouble. Yeah. I'm fucking trouble walking into an audition. I'm trouble walking on a fucking stage because I don't have an off switch. Did you get better at figuring out how to be right? How to get yourself right? I just kept taking chances. I took chances, man.

When I got- Did you try and be like... For example, before I went to SNL, I had a fucking development deal, right? And I said, shit, should I just... This is my third one. What year did you start SNL? Is it possible that this show might go? This is 04. You started. I did 04, 05, and 06 on SNL.

you started. I did 04, 05, and 06 on SNL. So I said to myself, damn it is and this is the only way I can wrap my head around it. Sometimes I step back and step forward. Like you know I've had a few development deals already. And I sat there saying, damn, I can get another one. Do I take a chance on that? Or audition for SNL? I said, let me go to New York, I'll audition for it, see what the fuck happens. It's my second time auditioning for them. I did it years ago when Tracy Morgan got on the show.

And now this is another time. Made it all the way to three people left Finesse, Kenan and myself, Kenan Thompson, Finesse Mitchell and myself but here's the thing the twist it called me and says you know I didn't make the show we loved you though would you want to come on as a writer would you want to come on as a writer? Part of me was saying, nah, fuck that, I'm gonna go for this fucking development deal and stay in L.A.

But the smart motherfucker in me said, hmm, do I think about the present or do I think about what I can do with SNL. Now here's the thing about SNL. There's opportunity here. I go in there as a writer, possibly work my way up to fucking cast member. You know, that's a good option.

And SNL will look great on my fucking resume. Mm-hmm. I said, hmm. now I'm thinking ahead. People have a tendency to think, this is where the patience shit comes in. People got a tendency to want now. And sometimes they ain't ready for it. They want that shit.

They want all that gold, they want that shit right now. But they don't know how to spend it. This shit don't mean shit. You ain't got no business manager to help you run that fucking pot of gold. So I said that shit gonna go to my resume. I'm gonna go back to New York and work on that motherfucking show.

And I'm gonna work this shit in increments. Fucking deals come all the time. Yep. It's okay. And what's the fucking percentage of fucking pilots that make it? Yeah. It's low. Then a motherfucker is gonna be sitting out here on another fucking show pilot.

Whether it's your deal or not, you know, I said, I'm gonna do this. So I get the SNL my writer on the show I did a warm-up two years hmm a writer's check right right get to New York hustle writers check right warm-up another check. And a monologue, I do a lot of monologues. Check. There's a sketch here and there, check. And Colonel O'Brien is downstairs.

He didn't even leave NBC yet. Colonel O'Brien found out I was upstairs and he would call Lauren and say, hey, can we borrow JB for a sketch? I think fucking Colonel O'Brien probably eight, nine times while I was working at S&L as a writer behind a fucking computer Yeah, so I gotta just do all four things and get paid for all four things. Yeah. See you don't know You just got to apply what the your sensibilities who the fuck you are to whatever you do

If I think if I got in there, it's all timid and quiet and just did my little writing and just mind my business You gotta get in there Yeah, well that's what I gave motherfuckers nicknames. Yeah, everybody had a fucking nickname in that bitch Well, that's what I wanted to make sure that's the motherfuckers didn't forget me. But pregnant I heard about butt pregnant secondhand I heard about butt pregnant as like this stupid motherfucker pitch butt pregnant The one I did not think would ever make a fucking made it yes Meanwhile 50 other fucking bits that people still remind me of

Here's my baby. We have to wrap this up. Yeah, we got we I know This is great Intel I agree Intel is very important for every fucking body that's here be good good and then be patient and be patient and know when you're doing too much that I can't worry about this in this and no no no no here's what I say recognize in your life that's not what we do when you're doing DTM you offend some people recognize when you're doing it recognize somebody body language. Oh yeah yeah yeah. Read the room. Come on man you're talking to my wife like that. Read the room.

You can't talk to my wife like that. Read the room. Whatever read the fucking room that's why I mean by DTM. We use DTM in a different. Yeah yeah read the room. Read the room. We know what what DTM is because we have a certain switch in us that allows us to do too much. And we both done too much and then you course correct. Yeah yeah yeah. Okay we'll learn we'll put that in file. And sometimes DTM is someone's opinion. Yeah. You know you might have killed that shit. One kid came to me in the airport, I said, yo, he said, yo, he turned on the video, I'm with JB Smoove up in this bitch.

I'm like, come on, dawg. I said, you just asked me for a selfie. I said, I know your camera's on, but I'm going to say this, I don't care if you posted or not, you asked me for a selfie picture, right? And you know you're videotaping me while I'm fucking grabbing my bags at the fucking baggage claim.

What is this gonna do for your life? Something. Well, isn't it better to walk up to me and say, yo. And look, man, I miss flights talking to people, giving them something better than what they got. I missed a flight one time talking to people giving it all day JB Smooth. We did it. We did it. Hey, we did it. But we could have done this shit all day. Everybody wants to have it, wants to have it red, my man.

All you have to do is open, open up your hand, my man.