Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Josh Peck

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

Neal Brennan interviews Josh Peck ('Good Guys' podcast, 'Drake & Josh,' 'The Amanda Show,' 'The Wackness,' 'Oppenheimer' & much more) about the things that make him feel lonely, isolated, and like something's wrong - and how he is persevering despite these blocks. ---------------------------------------------------------- 00:00 Intro 1:16 10-year old Standup Comic 2:40 No Dad 8:02 Early acting career  11:42 Rosie O’Donnell & Conan 12:55 Nickelodeon  14:28 Should there be child actors? 25:10 Sponsor: BetterHelp 26:37 Sponsor: Washington Post 28:37 Post Drake & Josh 31:17 Losing Weight 34:36 Drugs & Drinking & Sobriety 43:32 Weight Loss 47:28 Self-centered 50:21 Parenting 56:42 Sponsor: Mando 59:34 Relationships 1:11:10 What he makes of life ---------------------------------------------------------- Follow Neal Brennan: https://www.instagram.com/nealbrennan https://twitter.com/nealbrennan https://www.tiktok.com/@mrnealbrennan Watch Neal Brennan: Crazy Good on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81728557 Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81036234 Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle Sponsor Blocks: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/blocks Sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/NEAL for 10% off your first month https://www.washingtonpost.com/NEAL for 80% off https://www.shopmando.com promo code: NEAL for $5 off your Mando starter pack ---------------------------------------------------------- #podcast #comedy #mentalhealth #standup Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi. Wow, that came out real basic. It was real nice. You're welcome. We'll have a little tickle, guys. Hey, it's Neil Brennan. It's a blocks podcast. You know, we have people come on, they talk about the problems, we heal the earth. You know, you know how it goes. It was Jimmy Carr's idea also. I haven't mentioned that a few episodes. My guest today is a buddy of mine who was on Drake and Josh, or Josh and Drake, I don't remember. I think it was Drake and Josh or Josh and Drake. I don't remember. I think it was Drake and Josh Nickelodeon and he's a esteemed actor.

He was in Oppenheimer. He's got a podcast called good guys. He's a, he truly is a good guy. Um, night, you're a nice Jewish boy, right? I think so. Yeah. We think so. Hope so.

Yeah. And we'll see. Um, Hamas come on out. I'm kidding. I knew it. I got ambush bombs. Josh Peck, everybody. He's here.

Say hello. Hello. You know what the problem is with podcasts? Go ahead. You start a pod. First one. Letterman. 60.

Peck. 80. 80? Yeah, this is 81 or something. I don't know why 60 would have made me feel better You weren't even eligible for singing No, you were only then we just couldn't buy we canceled whatever we were you were on the list. Thank you I want to talk about child acting because you've started Acting when you're how old I started doing doing standup in New York when I was nine.

Great. Yeah. And you did the 10 spots a night, right? I'm kidding. I did, they would sneak me into Catcher Rising Star at 1130 at night, because they didn't want to lose their liquor license. Yeah. And I'd do five minutes. Great. And crush.

Did you know anybody? No. Did you like, it was just your parents? It was just my mom and it was just 1996. And. Incredible. Yeah. And did you stop, did you, why'd you stop doing standup?

I didn't know that you did standup. I did it because it's so hard. Yeah, no shit. It's the worst. Yeah. And then I got a TV show and I moved out here and I did the Laugh Factory and I did the improv. And like most lazy people who get a TV show,

they're like, I don't have to do this anymore. Yeah. And I did it. It's funny. Most people start at 30, you start at nine and we're done by 19. You're just burnt out. In and out.

Just blacked out on chicken tenders. You have pre- out. In and out. Just make it light on yourself. Chicken tenders. You pre-checked TSA, stream on through. Done. Um, what do you make of, what was that impulse? It's. We're not even stand up like performing from so young. Uh, no dad.

Okay. Santa more. Done. It's a wrap. Roll credits. Yeah, that's good. Got the major block and we can keep moving. Great. No dad. No dad. Okay, say no more. Done. It's a wrap. Roll credits, yeah, that's good. Got the major block and we can keep it moving. Great, no dad? No dad.

Gone. Nope, gone, never met him. Incredible, incredible work, sir, wherever you are. Dead, so. Dead! Perfect record. How did he, how, when, how do you know that? Natural causes in his 80s. So he had you when he was how old?

My mom was 42 or 43. He was 63. You want the story? It's a good story. Yeah, I would love the story. Cause that's, I mean, it sounds like a triumph of fertility. It totally is. And also in the nineties, we didn't have all the IVF.

No, no, no. And this was, okay, 86. Okay. This is what my mom told me until I could really understand things. Yeah. Your father was so charming and he was a great schmoozer and businessman.

He was separated from his wife. Hmm. Yep. And, uh, he had kids and grown kids in their late teens. Sure. Old kids. Yeah.

My mom goes over to his apartment one night. kids and grown kids in their late teens. Sure, old kids. Yeah. My mom goes over to his apartment one night. Um, they have a drink, they chat, they hook up. How'd she know them? They were like business associates. It, the kind of person that you see twice a year and always go, I should see them more. Yeah. Like you shared.

I should fuck that married man. Go ahead. So they hook up, go to the Carnegie deli for dinner. Yeah. Like you. I should fuck that married man. Yeah. Go ahead. So they hook up, go to the Carnegie deli for dinner. Sure. It's all pretty Jewish, if not extremely. Carnegie deli kind of makes it a little too Jewish, but go on. Yeah. Touristy Jewish.

Yeah. It's like. Yeah. Just the portions. Yeah. And then what she told me around in my teenage years, once I could handle it, that she had omitted throughout my adolescence was, um, went back, did it again. So far, make sure it worked. Party deli sex.

Oh, that's, you know, they fucked twice in the same, they fucked with them, went for deli and then went back. I didn't know it until I was 15, until I could handle it. So shout out Barb. At Judaism, they call it an orgy, don't they? Is that considered a full orgy? Yeah. If you go and get deli in between, my God.

I, yeah, it's a hat trick actually. It's a Jewish hat trick. It's a Hasi trick. Um, so yeah, they, she knew she was pregnant right away, knew it was his and, uh, told him. And he was like, I want nothing to do with this. But he also didn't believe her. And so she went to a doctor and did the thing.

And he was like, I still don't believe you go to my doctor and a friend of mine, cause you might have this guy on, on, and, uh, she went, and from the way she tells me, it's very cinematic, was that she was in the waiting room and she kind of could see the office staff looking at her. And she's like, I think they called him to say that I was there. Yeah.

Calling his bluff. She's like, they didn't even take me in. They just kind of said, it's okay. You don't have to do this. Yeah. Like we'll trust the first two tests. That's funny. Uh, and then was she, how did that?

You were her only kid? I'm her only kid. Um. Was she not going to have kids? I take it. She always imagined she would, but at 43 you sort of had made her piece that she wasn't. And until. Until this one weird, it's my mom's sort of had made her a piece that she wasn't. And until?

Until this one weird, it's my mom's sort of life up until that point had been like a bit of like a tragedy of just like extreme challenge and also like prospering and so much of like comedic values I got from her because she had to be this woman in the 70s and 80s working in business and kind of take over a room and she was, she was a funny broad. Did you feel, are you, I guess you've never had a dad. So it's like, what's the, can you feel the difference?

I'm assuming you look back on it and you're like, oh, I had like a desperation that I wouldn't have had otherwise. Oh yeah. It only in hindsight do I see how it has permeated every ounce of my being in a way that is so cliche and trite. It makes me fucking angry. It makes me hate it.

I was in my shrink today talking about my mom and I said, could this be any more Freudian? I was like, how fucking hack psychologically wise could I be that I'm here talking about my mom at 37? Yep. It's all hacking. Yeah. And so where does the, like, you say I want to do standup.

Did you saw it on TV and were like, I want to do that? So I do all the normal, quasi normal things, school plays, little workshop, kids theater things. But there's this thing, these kids shows with people my age. And I'm like, this, there's, there's obviously a talent pool for people my age to work at a much higher level because these fucking kids in second grade are just not hitting their mark. Like it was literally, Oh, you're in these plays going like, this is not

the level I belong at. Yeah. Like literally a kid, a young athlete being like, Oh, you're in these plays going like, this is not the level I belong at. Yeah. Like literally a kid, a young athlete being like, Oh, I gotta go play club. Yeah. I gotta play at a higher level. Yeah. And, and what am I funny that you like knew that? Did you know it from the, what was the, you compared your plays to like TV?

Yeah, but we would also sneak in my mom and I in New York during that time in the 90s, on Broadway they would have intermissions and we would go and smoke. Smoke cigarettes, yes. You wouldn't believe it. But they would never. 60, 70 people standing on the sidewalk smoking cigarettes. That's one of your jokes, right?

Like it was something about like, imagine like vaping but cooler. I don't think I did, I don't think I did that, but yeah. No, but it was so gross and it was so prevalent. And people would just go and at matinees, or at intermatching, you'd go smoke and then you guys would sneak in with them. Yeah, rip a dart in between second and third act

of Sound of Music. And so my mom and I would sneak in, usually to a play that had been on for, like Sound of Music, 20 years. So there's gonna be some empty seats. Pads, Phantom. Right? Sure. Nonsense.

All of them. Andrew Lloyd Webber's canon. And we would sneak in. Andrew Lloyd Webber, FYI, friend of Jimmy Carr's. Jimmy Carr knows Andrew, and you can't believe it. I could see that. Yeah. And we'd sneak in.

So that, I just saw that there's like, there's kids doing this professionally. And so there was a magazine in New York called Backstage Magazine. And in the back they had like classifieds for agents and different jobs. And there was this guy named Sid Gold at Gold Star Entertainment.

I represent kid comedians, you know? Who's his son? It's Elon, Elon is his son. Elon. Yes. Elon Gold is a good friend of mine. A great comedian. I've met Sid Gold, as a matter of fact. Great guy. Yes.

So I go up to his office, nine year old chubby Josh Peck, and he sees money signs. He's like, this kid, I'm gonna make some dough. Yeah. And he's like, if you can put together a stand-up act, I can get you up at Caroline's and catch a rising star. And so I said, you got it, dad. Great.

I mean, Mr. Gold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, whatever, yeah. Fine. Well, let's call this what it is. Please. And then did you write material? I did old, my opening joke was I was born

during the Great Depression, my mother's. I'm the son of a single parent. I was born during the Great Depression, my mother's. I'm pretty sure that was Shecky Green's. Great. But I told myself I came up with it. And then I just made fun of kids at school. I talked about my grandma, What's the deal with right like just decent?

You see real and if they're laughing cuz it's you're adorable. Yeah She never had a lot of patience for anything like when she was nine months pregnant with me She never had time for the oh Mars the She just wanted to have me. So one day she's sitting eating at her favorite restaurant eating a what's so called big meal and she starts choking on a chicken bone. So the guy from the other table comes over and does the Heimlich maneuver on my mom. Next thing you know I come flying out with

the chicken bone. That was my first punchy jump. But also like once I had a couple good, I had a tight five. Yeah. And then there were like real comedians who were going up for their 15 minutes at standup New York on a Tuesday. Yep. And they're like, yeah, I'm going to fail a little bit because I'm working shit out and I was like, not me.

Yeah. Like this shit works. Yep. Cause I couldn. And I was like, not me. Yeah. Like this shit works. Yep. Because I couldn't, I couldn't do crowd work. Yeah. Or, yeah, or you're right. Yeah. Or do anything. No one needed you to have more than five. Like I'm not judging you in the slightest.

Oh, you're right. Okay. So then you start booking acting. Yeah. I started doing, I went like, I started doing, like, I went, my mother and I went to the Rosie O'Donnell show. I'm 10 years old, and she convinces him to let me introduce her. I wanted to get into the acting biz, and I wanted to find a manager,

and he said I had to have a comedy act, so one thing led to another, and here I am. There you go, Josh! Just work like that! And then I do a song with her, and I do stand-up on her show. I do the Conan O'Brien show two, three times. I become a bit player on Conan.

That's hilarious. At one point, I remember I watched on the live feed, Conan cut my sketch, and I didn't know that was the way it worked. What, he was just like, where'd you cut that? I did one thing where I played Warren Littlefield's son, who's the former head of NBC as you know, but maybe they don't.

And, uh, and so, and it goes great. And like, and so like have him back and we do another one and then they leave the live feed up in the green room and like any normal late night guy, he's like, this one worked, this one, this one like, oh, and then like, I just see like the kid in him. Yeah, no. And I like, this won't work. This didn't, this one like go. And then like, I just see like the kid in him. Yeah, no.

And I just, within a 90 second span, a PA comes in and goes, you're done. And I was like, oh, that's how it. Okay. Yeah. So how do you get on Nickelodeon? So I wind up auditioning there like every other week for something commercial and

interstitial something. Yeah. And, uh, and then I wind up getting this movie called snow day. And it was with Chevy chase and Chris Elliot, Jean smart, Pam Greer, sick cast. And they're like, you're going to Canada for the next three months.

I hope you have your passport ready. I was like, I don't have a passport because you don't need one to go to the Jersey shore. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, I'm 12 and I don't have a passport because you don't need one to go to the Jersey Shore. Yeah, you're on the eight. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm 12 and I'm up there and this president of the network, his name was Albie Hecht, great guy,

really like my Eskimo. And I'm just telling him jokes. My Eskimo, what's that mean? I don't know, it's a recovery term. The guy who got you into the room. Oh, great. He said, oh, he was my Eskimo. Everyone's, he's just a new dad.

Yeah. Go on. I have lots of words for a new dad. Yeah, great, a new dad, Sergi dad. Father figure 1744. Number nine, yeah, yeah, go ahead. So Albie's like, you're funny. And I'm like, you know, just giving him jokes

and he's laughing. He's on set like a couple of times over the three months. And I tell him that I would love to do a show like, I'm like, I love. All that. Yeah. That was like, cause it was kids at Sanel and, uh, nine months later, he calls

me and says, I'm moving you and your mom to California and you're going to be on the Amanda show. Amanda Bynes. Amanda Bynes. Shout out to Amanda Bynes. This, this can include include Amanda, include everybody. Should there be child actors?

When can you work at a grocery store? 16? Yeah, I started working when I was 11, 12, so. Really? Yeah, I started cattying. In Philly, well. I was in Chicago, cattying. Again, but then in Philly, I started working

like 12 hours a day in the summer. Gotcha. And I was doing it to get out of the house. Maybe it's summer gigs. Maybe we allow. Something. Yeah, maybe we allow summer gigs. Yeah, it just seems like, what do you, how can you describe, do you think that it's

nature or nurture? Meaning, you don't have a dad, you're hungry, you're hungry like the wolf, you're hungry hippo. Literally? Yeah, I mean, we'll get in the way of stuff. Huge. And Amanda, all of the, even if, what happens to you on these shows

that makes you, it kind of, it just seems like something happens. You know, Mayim Bialik, who was a kid actor on Blossom and has got on to be incredibly successful and impressive. Elon Gold used to have a great joke about her. Which was? Which was, he was talking, is in the 90s, he was like, you know, you hear, our grandparents are like,

did you hear who died today? You know, Myrna Loy, or some old actress, you have no idea, but he's like, you know what's gonna be, when we're older, they're gonna be like, you hear who died? Blossom? My MP Alec? Oh no.

So we're bringing the whole thing full circle. Well, she said something to the extent on her podcast because she has kids, she's like, I wouldn't let my kids be actors or start acting professionally because kids need to be allowed to have a bad day. And you just can't as a kid actor. There's no-

How is that explained to you? It's not. But you understand explained to you? It's not. But you understand it? Yeah, there's just no, and it's also, and again, I came up in the 90s where it just like was, I pray that there's more safeties in place now and more guards than there were for us, because this idea was sort of perpetrated of like,

don't be, don't make the same true of don't work with kids or animals of like, they're too much of a headache, they can't be relied on. And it's shorter hours. It's gonna take a hundred takes. And then they gotta go to school. And I remember right on Nickelodeon, on all that, it was like, it just seemed like you guys

were just getting like decamped. Like, all right, now go to the Tudor van, or not van, I mean looking back maybe it was, but like the shipping container, and they'd have like the whatever, like the trailer for the Tudors and the school. And it just seemed like, all right, now go over here, and now go over here. It just seemed like, all right, now go over here and now go over here.

It just seemed like, man, this must be a lot of responsibility for a little kid. It just, you wanted to be the, you wanted to be good at what you did. And you didn't want that saying to be true about you. You wanted to be like on your mark and know your lines. You have to be like a pick me. Yeah, you wanted to crush it.

And I don't know if that, and look, that's not a new thing for, for, you know, young people that want to get A's in school or crush it on their sports team or whatever. Like I would say that's probably a big part of growing up, but in this specific way, again, it's just like, if you're having a normal day as a, as a, as a young person and you're just not feeling it,

there's no version of that because then that becomes like an insurance day. Well, as an adult, you can't have a bad day as an actor. What's the difference? The difference is that's too much pressure for a kid. Yeah, you're an adult and you know what you signed up for. What would it feel like? Like when you look back, do you go, that was like,

they shouldn't have put, I shouldn't have been in that position. You work in comedy and I feel like especially with sitcoms, like sitcom crews are of a very specific type, right, where it's like a very civilized type of schedule. And so if something is taking six, seven, eight, nine, 10 takes, they kind of look at you like we're not making a clockwork orange.

Yeah. Like this should be, this should be working. And you just feel the energy in the room. Yeah. You know, the air's out. Yeah. Everyone's literally looking at you. Yeah.

And you're just like, damn it, I wish this was going better. Now at, at 37, I go, well, we all know what we signed up for and we're all gonna get home a little late tonight. And it sucks for me and it sucks for all of us, but just one of those scenes that we didn't quite figure out we should have. Well, that's the thing. Like if a scene wasn't working on the Amanda Show

or Drake and Josh and Drake and Jericho and Jeff, did you- You internalize that. Right, but would you, looking back, be like that scene was garbage. Do you know what I mean? Just going fucking wasn't gonna work. Yeah, I mean, I certainly think there should have just been so much less pressure because of the realities

of what we were making. Yeah. Yeah. And. And it should have just been so much safer. So would you rely on, who would you rely on to assuage your fear? Like who would you, would you talk to Drake or would it, what would you do?

For the most part, it was just about- Was it a lot like, that was all right, man, it was fine, right, was that good? Yeah, I think there was that, and luckily, it was like baseball in the way of like, there's a game tomorrow. You did sort of know that like, I'll get another crack at this. Yeah.

And for the most part, usually where sitcoms, you're lucky is that what doesn't work on Monday, it's probably not in the script on Wednesday. Yeah. Right. Whereas like if I was doing a half hour, um, single cam, you show up and that, that stuff may have never been said out loud by anyone but the writers. So just coming out of your mouth, it's weird. So was it the hard part being the tax on, I don't want to say like the thing that makes them become drug addicts and emotionally, mentally have emotional issues and mental issues.

Do you think it's the pressure or do you think it's like pre-existing? I think it's a, it's a mix. It's gotta be right. Cause what we know about addiction is that you could have two people raised in the same family, pretty much the same upbringing and less any sort of specific occurrence to one person out of the other. One person could have addiction and the other doesn't. So I think there is some of it that's just sort of default settings.

And then I think there are just like certain jobs, which are attractive to people that want to be liked and have a deep seated need to be validated and who better than a kid who didn't know his dad, who like just wants to be told like, you're all right, like nice swing. Yeah. It's all you want. Did it fill the hole?

Yeah, sure. It was great to feel good at something. Yeah. It wasn't you want. Did it fill the hole? Yeah, sure. It was great to feel good at something. Yeah. It wasn't gonna be little league. I was very overweight. Cut to him. Zoom in on my eyes. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm with you. Yeah, I guess I'm just, I've always been interested in like, what is happening? What is this? Even writing for it, I was like, you know, I don't know. Cause do the people know that you wrote

on the first season of all that? The real ones, no, I wrote on the second season. Second season. And created some of their best characters and didn't get credit for it. Yes, kind of. But what was the hardest part? I think the hardest part was for like, for many of us,

like I came from, I came from nothing. And so pretty quickly it became, you know, your family's financial security is on your shoulders. And I think people have illusions of that. There are those cases of the kid from two and a half men or whatever, or who make absurd amount of money, but that wasn't the case then. And I don't belabor it because who cares, but also it was just the reality of like you

were making a. Decent salary, but nothing crazy. Yeah, you made like a hundred grand a year for four years, which is great, but no. Could you do like conventions and all that stuff and make more money there? No, and there was no like residuals. So it just was a wonderful middle-class income. No issue with that, except that once it stops, no one would assume someone who makes 100 grand a year

is set for life for four years. Yeah, well, they assume you're making a million. Right. If you're on TV, you're making a million dollars. Sure, and I understand people thinking that, I'm not mad at that. So that's the, and what was that like for you in particular? I think that I really wanted, I really wanted to be great at this thing that I loved.

So the music stops, the shows over after four years. Yeah. Then what, where are you in LA? You're how old? 19. And what's going, what are you gonna, what happened, what, how do you feel and what happens? I was lucky that when I was 14, when I, I moved to LA, I had this manager who said you, you're a bad actor. And I was like, copy.

And I was like bet. Okay. And, uh, she's like, you need to go to acting class cause you can like kind of be funny, but other than that you, you suck. And I was like bet. And she's like, you need to go to acting class because you can kind of be funny, but other than that, you suck. And I was like, gotcha. And it was the greatest gift ever that I walked into this class.

And the other actors were 14 year old Evan Rachel Wood, Evan Peters, May Whitman, Penn Badgley, all these just killers. People who've gone on to be super successful. And I, the greatest gift ever was I loved it. Like I looked forward to Mondays and Thursdays from six to nine. And we'd usually go to 10 o'clock at night and we

were just like doing scenes and doing like Meisner listening exercises and that. And I'm reminded of that every time I do it every time I walk into a black box theater with an acting teacher and I'm there and there's no stakes and it's just me doing the thing I'm like remember this this show is sponsored by better help hey what are your self-care non-negotiables maybe you never skip leg day or therapy day when your schedule is packed with kids activities big work projects and more care, non-negotiables. Maybe you never skip leg day or therapy day. When your

schedule is packed with kids activities, big work projects, and more, it's easy to let your priorities slip. Even when we know what makes us happy, it's hard to make time for it. But when you feel like you have no time for yourself, non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever. Again, you know I talk about therapy all the time, talk about mental health, we're all about. I've gotten huge benefits from therapy, probably went for 20 years straight, hugely helpful.

Again, it's just good to have a sounding board. It's like a lawyer for your emotions. They can help you build a defense for you. You just go like this what's happened. They give you sound advice. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch

therapist anytime for no additional charge. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash NEAL today to get 10% off your first month. Never skip therapy day with better help visit better help Comm slash any a L today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help bett er Help dot com slash Neil you got to get better. You got to get help better help Dot-com do it. I love you Guys, one of our sponsors today is The Washington Post. It's nice when someone you like likes you back.

I like The Washington Post. I've been a subscriber, gotta be five years minimum. They have good information. They're in DC. They have a huge, they don't have a bureau in DC. They are in DC. They have, for my money, the insider politics stuff in the world.

Look, I said it, in the world. This podcast today is sponsored by The Washington Post. Right now, go to washingtonpost.com slash N-E-A-L, and you can subscribe for just 50 cents per week for your first year. That's a legitimately great deal, and it's exciting to have my own URL with Washington Post, and it's not about me taking money from Saudi Arabia.

I was literally reading it on the way here. I was reading it in my car. I don't recommend it. I was reading about JD Vance's text with some maniac. They just have the best information about DC. If you're in a rush and you need to catch up quickly on the day's most important and interesting stories, The Post's The 7 Newsletter is a quick commute read sent each weekday morning and it's available as a podcast as well. What isn't? I love

The Washington Post. I get The 7 Newsletter every day. I literally decided today to not put it in my I'm getting a lot of stuff from the That's 80% off their typical offer, so this is truly a steal. Don't stop the steal. Once again, that's washingtonpost.com backslash N-E-A-L to subscribe for just 50 cents per week for your first year. It sounds like an offer from 1940, but I swear, 50 cents a week, washingtonpost.com slash Neil. So you were just out on the street basically, guy from Drake and Josh. Yeah. And you're, are you, are you like, fuck, I need to make money for my mom. I need to make money for myself.

Should I get a day job? What should I do? Well, when I was 16, I wound up doing this movie that won Sundance called Mean Creek. And that was like my first taste into like real dramatic acting. Yeah. So it was like great because I still had the

delusion at like 19 years old of like, of anyone with a dream. But I'm like, I did that dream, which was to like do the show that I grew up, the kind of show I grew up watching, but now there's the new dream. And, uh, and in the midst of all this, I fall into like total

clichedom and start becoming like just a cliched child actor running around Hollywood, you know, just looking for father figures. Yeah. Are you drinking and doing a lot of drugs? Yeah. Great. Cocaine?

All the things. Great. I recently said to Miss Pat, I was on everything but skates. And she said, damn, I had my kids watching The White Crackhead. That's funny. She put it perfectly. But yeah, total cliche.

And then in the midst of all of it, I auditioned for this movie called The Whackness. And it's with Sir Ben Kingsley. Oh, that's right. Yeah. And Methamane. And I get it. And I'm 20. And it's like the, that's right. Yeah. And met the man and I get it and I'm 20 and it's like the role of a lifetime. Right. I, um, and it goes to Sundance and Tarantino's in the, in the audience and we get a standing

ovation and we win Sundance. Right. Again. Yeah. And now I'm like, okay. And that like literally sustained me. Like I had a little, you know, I had a little bit of money saved from the show and I was

like, I'm going to be all right. And like, I literally needed that moment of looking at those people applauding to sustain me, cause I went through 10 years of the rockiest road of work of my life. So you were 28? No, at that time I was 20. Oh, great, okay.

So the rockiest road just being Nickelodeon and. Just, am I gonna make it? Yeah. And then did you feel like, did you get a lot of opportunities after the Wagnus? So I started in this movie called Red Dawn, which was an action movie. Remake.

That I played Chris Hemsworth's brother. Great. Because that makes sense. Yeah, of course. And I see it. You look a lot like Liam. So bad. Yeah.

God bless you. Thank you for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was so intimidated, because imagine this, right? I lose 100 pounds. How did you lose 100 pounds, by the way? Just Atkins, old school keto.

Really? Yeah. Great. I was just done. I was like 17. It was a really weird car ride. I remember I was with my mom. We would drive cross country cause she don't fly.

I remember being like, can we do anything normal? I don't have a dad. Yeah. You don't fly. Who gets pregnant at 43? You're 61. Yeah. Like 61. Yeah. Like anything.

Yes. I just remember we were like talking and fighting because that's what happens on a 3000 mile car ride with two people. And she goes, you gotta let go of that anger. That's not cute. She's like, and you're angry at your dad. And I'm like. Did you, what did you know about him at this point?

Everything I just told you. That's it. Did he, was he dead by then? No. Had you gotten in contact with him? I never got in contact with him because I knew he had kids. You didn't go to the doctor's office?

They had his number, you know, they had his number. I know, fucking HIPAA man at every turn. We think it's good. Um, yeah, I didn't, but I, to jump to that for a second, I, um, I always felt like I had this emotional grenade that I knew that he had moved to Florida because where else would

I know where would you go? And I was like, you know, if I ever want to blow up his life, I can. If I ever want to just show up on his doorstep and be like, what the hell, man. I can't. Yeah. But I just didn't want to.

Were you, but was your mom right about like carrying anger? So that part. Yeah. That I clearly, cause I remember it was like June and we drove to New York and we would spend the summers there and, uh, and I was like 290 pounds and I just. Would walk and I just started eating a little better and I would just walk the streets of the city, dreaming about what my life was going to be. If you were skinny or just, there were mostly skinny dreams.

It was all skinny dreams. I only dream in skinny under 180. I dream at my goal. Wait, was it, were you about, was it about your career, your life? What, or was it just about, I'm, I don't know what it's going to be, but I'm not going to be fat. Yeah. I, I just will remember as well, right?

This is 2002. Yeah. So we don't have Seth Rogen. We don't have Paul Walter Hauser. We don't have, um, Melissa McCarthy. Like we don't have these brilliant people who are like, fuck the best friend in the bully, I'm the one.

Yeah. Right. So like up until that point, they're like, enjoy being relegated to these two things forever. Yeah. And don't even try. Like, like almost people would, when I would talk about losing weight, they'd be

like, oh, but why? Like they love you like this. And I just wanted to do more. I wanted to just have the chance to do other things and, and in that summer, I remember I lost like 40 pounds in two months. And then over the next year I took off like another 60 and I just felt like I was like

beginning and did it feel like, uh, just a new chapter of your life. Yeah. And then you did the WACNAS. And then I did the WACNAS. And yeah, it must have been insufferable. I was, I'm sure. I imagine total.

Um, and did you, and were you still doing drugs and drinking? Uh, I was till I imagine total and did you and were you still doing drugs and drinking? I was till I got sober at 21. What was the what is the bottom? I? Don't know I don't tell or just like an era. I don't know if it's interesting or not But it's because it's corny and show busy, but I you know, who else am I gonna tell you? I? Mr. Corny showbiz. Not you. I, uh, no, cause I want to get vulnerable. I want to get real.

It's blocks, baby. He's a fan of the, he's a fan of the podcast. He's really bringing it. He knows what the, he knows what works. He knows what makes a good episode and he's about to show us. Well, I don't know about that. It's all downhill now. Um, it won't be a Sal volcano,

double two-parted shout out Sal. Um, okay. So I've had now some, some near misses as we do in our career when using, right? Like just like moments where it could have gone bad and it didn't. Right. Um, but I'm quickly realizing that like,

this isn't working for me and I have this evidence. What does that mean? Like you're, you're drunk, you're hung over for an audition. You go to an audition. I'm burning bridges. I'm just like, I'm becoming unreliable.

Yep. And it's, it's starting to get around. Yeah. Like, and you know, just moments where you just feel like your ancestors are ashamed, you know? Yeah. Which is hard to have a Jewish ancestor are ashamed. You know? Yeah.

Which is hard to have a Jewish ancestor feel ashamed. Go ahead. Deeply. Very hard. You, yeah. They have a high tolerance for behavior. Turn off Mordecai? Oh, forget it.

Um, and so there are these moments, but I also have this evidence, right, of like, be, of eight years of being overweight before that. So constantly in my head I'm going like, you fucking overdo it, Josh. You over do. And I'll never forget that we're at Sundance for the Whackness, standing ovation. Uh, a week before that, Brad Renfro, great actor,

young actor had overdose. Mm-hmm. And I was just, I didn't know him, just a massive fan. Yeah. And then we're sitting, being interviewed by Peter Travers, me and another actor in the movie. Who's a, they used to do a magazine called Rolling Stone

and he was a journalist. Back in the day. Yeah. And he's interviewing us and someone, one of the producers cuts the interview and goes, I'm sorry, I just want to pause for a second, but, um, Heath Ledger just died and this just like shock went across the room because he was so beloved.

Yeah. Right. And, and so it was, it was Heath Ledger and Brad Renfro in the same month. And I didn't know either of them. I was just a massive fan. I adored them to see them sort of succumbed to So it was Heath Ledger and Brad Renfro in the same month. And I didn't know either of them. I was just a massive fan. I adored them to see them sort of succumb to this thing.

And then also to have this thing that I dreamt about to like have this movie and it win and the reviews are spectacular. And I'm not just. And the movie's just like, funnily enough, it's you walking around New York. Yeah. It's like pretty, yeah.

And I'm like, I'm like, maybe I just won't be like the silly kid actor. Maybe I will grow into like a real actor. It seems to be happening. And I just woke up the next morning and went, Oh no, I'm still here. Like Josh was still here. Like everything on the outside was pretty much dialed. But in here it was like, no. And what, who was inside? The same guy that had told me I wasn't enough

since I was old enough to have memories. Great. You know? Love him. You know that guy? Yeah. He's a not husband around. I've started saying, I was saying to somebody,

I have a bad newscaster in my head. He's just reading me fake news. Sure. And someone said you have Alex Jones in your head. So it's a really good hack. It's entertaining. If you're like just telling yourself a story and then you hear it as Alex Jones,

it becomes entirely absurd. Yes. Like people don't respect you and just like, you can, he's got a great voice. What is the people don't respect you? Cause I have that. And what is it? I just think it's, I mean, it's,

there's a type of therapy called parts therapy that my girlfriend is a practitioner of where you like, basically, if there's a voice that's you identify all the parts of your, all the different characters in your head, kind of like inside out or whatever. And you just ask them what they want. Yeah. And what that like people don't respect you thing is like it, that person wants me to feel bad because it's predictable for that person. Yeah, I'm assuming

You know and then you just kind of have to I mean I just tried to out achieve it So it was like you're stupid You're you're now you're just wrong at worst people are just not paying attention, but they don't think they're not Actively not respecting me. Yeah, so so then, and did you blame it on drugs and alcohol? No, I just blamed it, I. Like that, you wake up and you're like, fuck, I'm still hearing this stupid voice over in the face of massive success.

Yeah, like nothing outside of me is gonna fix this. Like I tried to numb it, I tried to beat it with success. I tried to lose 100 pounds. Yep. I tried it all. Yeah. And it to beat it with success. I tried to lose a hundred pounds. I tried it all and it don't work. You know, there's a lot of ways to get sober. I did it old school, 12 step style. And, uh, and I remember I, I walked into a meeting for my, my mom had, has been in and

out of the rooms for 40 plus years. So I had, I was the 10 year old kid on this Game Boy in meetings, like waiting for it to be done so we could all go eat Chinese food. And I remember that when I walked into a meeting and I was finally ready, this guy said, "'You didn't tell me what was wrong with me, "'you told me what was wrong with you,' and I identified.

And I had walked around my entire life, reasonably articulate, plenty of over-therapies, Jewish, single, like I knew how to talk about how I felt. And yet I could not tell you how I was feeling. And I'd hear things like, oh, depression, anxiety, I'm like, kinda, but not that. And when I heard these people talk, I said, that's me. And they weren heard these people talk, I said, that's me.

And they weren't a glum lot. They were cracking up at this thing that I was talking. Yeah, addicts are funny and energetic. And it didn't look like, I mean, it, like people were in Skechers. Yeah. Wearing like cargo shorts. Yeah.

I'm like, huh? It wasn't like serious. Yeah. It was just like, wow, all these people can feel this and rock sketchers. Yeah. Like you can feel this in being shape ups. When you see the thing of the guy saying that

you've talked about yourself and you didn't tell, what was it? What did he say? You told me what was, you didn't tell me. Who was he talking to? You? No, he was, he talked about this. I'm sorry.

He said that was his experience when he walked into a meeting and that's how I felt, which was, you didn't tell me what was wrong with me. You told me what was wrong with you and I identified. Cause you were telling my story. Yeah. Every single, I've never heard a bad share in my entire life.

Oh, I have. At a 12 step. Plenty. I mean, they're boring. I have a joke about every share in New York meetings is like, they're mostly about real estate. They're like, so you know my super? Every single time it's a continuing story

about their super or their roommate or what, and it's like, okay, man, anything else? Oh, and then there's the people who just professionally have the pitch. Yeah, they have the same thing. It's beautiful. It's a microcosm of the world. When people ask about, hey, are these kind of people?

I'm like, imagine the world. And then it's just comprised of 30 people that are representing the world. In a disaster movie, it's like the people getting on the plane at the beginning. So just the most random group of people, but by the end you're like, I fuck with kind of all these people.

Yeah, I mean, and to the thing we were saying before was I remember a guy that I looked up to at the meeting said, you know, if you hear 5% of the meeting, if five minutes of a 60 minute meeting, you identify and you get something out of it, you're overpaid. Cause like the other 55 minutes are for everybody else. Yeah.

Everybody's got to get a minute or two. Yeah. And like, but so don't expect to sit there for 60 minutes and be like, this is all me, but I'll hear someone say one line in a two minute share and go, yep. And that'll sustain me for a couple of days. And then you've, and you were able to sort

of stick with it and did it. But now you're married and you, you said, I want to talk about the weight loss thing. Cause you said something that haunts me. Oh no. I don't know if you remember saying it. I, we were talking about going to the beach or swimming or something.

Yeah. You said maybe didn't take your shirt off and I go, why won't you take your shirt off? Talking about going to the beach or swimming or something. You said maybe didn't take your shirt off and I go, why won't you take your shirt off? And you go, cause I ruin my body. Please talk about that. Cause I've just never heard anyone say that. Yeah, I mean, it don't bounce back once you get it past a certain.

Can you get skin removal and all that stuff? Yeah, we all do. We're on all this big, former biggies. We're on a group chat, but, um, and we're comparing and contrasting plastic surgeons, but no, I did it all. And I'm great. Like, I don't want to sound ungrateful. Like I, but there are just some things where I still look

at like guys, even in their thirties, I love it now because like other dads my age are now starting to put on the weight. I'm like, yeah,, even in their thirties. I love it now because like other dads my age are now starting to put on the weight. I'm like, yeah, you like that. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's just, there are certain things that I, you can't fix. So is it scarring?

No, it's just kind of like skin. Hanging? Got it. A little bit, a little skin. And there's just nothing you can do about it without significant. You just get a wild, you're kind of trading like for a wild ass scar, like a shark bite scar

or like a little bit, like it looks anatomical, it's just like a little bit of skin. Either way, people are gonna be like, what's that? Right. I just don't want that, cause people are pretty nice. Yeah. Especially like, you know, all bodies are beautiful

and like, I don't say that in a silly way. Like I find, I see people out and I just love, like I think one of the great things of the last decade has been people really embracing like all body styles and realizing. And so when I see people out at the pool and whatnot, I'm like, I could whip my shirt off right now and feel right at home with the group.

And come in like fourth place. Yeah, Yeah. But it's just like, but I just don't want the. I can't imagine someone doing that. They don't, well, they don't do it quite like that, but I see it, or at least I interpret it that way. Well, yeah. Okay.

Well that, I guess that's the. And I do it, but you know, I don't do it often. What's the difference between drinking, using and eating you and the guy now? What, you know what I'm asking? Like, what were you doing that you now go, I'm not doing that? Or is it so sort of, you've been sober 16, 17 years

and skinny or whatever you are, 16, 17 years. I don't know what you call it. Yeah, what do you call it? You look healthy. Trim? Yeah, trim, there you go. Athletic legs. Yes, no, of course.

Thick, thick quads. Fuck. It's huge. And you have a great face and eyes, genuinely. God bless you too. Take your shirt, cover your face, take your shirt off. Make me feel bad about myself. Gotcha.

Um, but, but what's the difference between that guy and this guy? As you were saying it, I'm like, how do I, how do I think of a better answer than to everything? Everything and nothing. Like, the essence of me, it, it, it allowed the great parts of me to shine. Um, I've heard it said that if you get sober and you don't change anything about yourself, you'll just become a better bank robber.

Right. You know? Yeah. And so, there are no new ancient truths. So for me, getting sober was sort of like an intro, it was like my cover charge for a spiritual life to do the good hard work that like we've learned over thousands of years. It's just part of the human experience. It's like the only thing that I found is, is that free high, that currency in life.

So yeah. And what is that connection? Is it volunteer? What, what, what, when you say the ancient truths, getting out of self, I mean, is it community, like what are, what are you talking about? Are you talking about your marriage kids?

Like it's everything I'm, I'm self-centered in the extreme. I'm self-seeking. So, uh, self-seeking is people pleasing and. A lot of blocks, which we never even got to, but yeah, but yeah, people pleasing. And people think like, well, I'm people pleasing and think of it as a form of like, uh, martyrdom

or like God, but it's like, well, my, I don't know about other people, my version of, of people pleasing is cause I want to control the way you think of me. Uh, right. And I want to make sure that you think of me. Right. Yeah. I want to make sure that you are looking at me perfectly of the way I'm presenting.

Yeah. Um, and you know, in the St. Francis prayer and a buddy of mine has reiterated this to me throughout my life, which is, you know, it's better to understand than to be understood. Yep. And I just, at 37, I'm just coming to terms with that idea.

Like, uh-uh. Like if I have to explain it, it's beyond me. Like, I just gotta let the shit speak for itself. Yeah, it's hard, cause it's like, can you, if you do the right thing for the wrong reasons. Right. I don't know. Like, you're meaning, you seem really warm.

You like, I bet you brighten a lot of people's day. And I don't say that, I gain nothing from saying that. Like I just, it seems just like that's probably true. Not even because they recognize you just have like a nice fucking human smiling face and like your eyes squinch up, you know what you do. And do you want to be less self-seeking? You're more other seeking. Is that what you're saying?

Kind of? Yeah, I mean, I find that in- You're trying to be nice for its own sake and not for the outcome, for the dividend that you're gonna get. Yeah, I mean, doing for others is the only thing that I found is like truly a free high in life. Like, that's it.

And you can't act your way, or you can't think your way into right acting if you act your way into right thinking. Every great trope that I heard coming into the rooms, analysis is paralysis. Help your fellows boat to the other side and yours too will cross, right? Like, I cannot think my way out of like that bad feedback loop that's been in my brain forever, but I can certainly act my way out of it.

I can like disrupt it. And the best way I found that is by doing for others. It's why kids are great for me. Cause it's like, and I've certainly seen people sustain their self centeredness through having children and it's spectacular. It's, it's kind of like, how are you doing that? I can-centeredness through having children. Yeah. And it's spectacular. It's kind of like, how are you doing that?

I can't believe you're doing this. Yeah, I'm like that, you're still doing that much brunch, huh? Yeah, it's like, dude, don't. Mm-hmm. Don't be like, it's so, you're a fucking Greek god to them. Just be, they love, like,

you can't even express how much they love you. You, were you talking about it with, I forget, maybe it was either Bill Maher with Seinfeld, where you talked about that great Warren Beatty quote. Yeah. That was the best. Yes, with Jerry, yeah.

Where he said, yeah. I mean, Jerry said it was, every time, well, God, the trick that God plays on men is that kids open them party brain and you don't even know is there like a chamber that you're like, Oh fuck, it's not my brain isn't 80 square feet. It's 120 square feet. Like, Oh, I didn't even know. And it really is

the logic of it. And this is, it's not even my kid. And I'm like, it's shifted me. Yeah. Um, you had a thing about your kids. You worry about your kids being too much like you, which I, which is interesting. If you see them with a net, maybe not such a great voiceover, I mean, like that you see them going dark. Do you intervene or is it just like, how old are your kids? They're five and one.

Yeah. Well, people say that they look just like my wife. Yeah. And people will say like, oh man, don't you wish? I'm like, oh no. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. I love it. I look at- It might be a little too close to home

if it's like a small you. Yeah. My wife taught me so much about, how do I say it? I imagined that there were times in which you had to be tough with your kids and that you had to like, really like raise your voice. And like the typical things that we see like in TV and movies in the 90s, you know?

And I also was terrified. It was this like weird cosmic come up and to my wife and I, we didn't find out the sex of the baby till she delivered. And I just was like, I gotta have a girl. Like I've done too much musical theater to have a boy. I can't. And as soon as they said it's a boy, I go, of course.

Right, because sometimes you don't get the amends you deserve, but sometimes you give it to yourself by not passing on the behavior to the next round of people. Right. because sometimes you don't get the amends you deserve, but sometimes you give it to yourself by not passing on the behavior to the next round of people. Right. And I was like, oh, I get to be the father that I always wanted for him.

Yeah. And now I get to do it with both my boys. And so my wife taught me like, no, no, no, we don't have to do that. Like we can set boundaries and we, we're certainly not going to be like the overly kind parents that let them run amok. Yeah.

But like, we don't have to like puff up on our kids. Like we can meet them where they are and we can set boundaries and have rules and give them guidance, but like have a really easy way about it. And I just love seeing them in her image. And no matter what they act like me and I do get a slight kick out of it, but I'm so glad it's not overt. It's like minimal.

It's nuance. But is it like worrisome? Are you worried about the addiction thing or the, any of that stuff? Have they isolated a hereditary aspect to it? I mean, we always talk about it. Maybe. I'm not sure.

I mean, I'm sure they have and then they got refuted and they, you know, like back and forth, like most shit. That's, I mean, God willing, I will be sober their entire life. And so I think they couldn't have a, I guess the only foundation they could have better is that, you know, they'll never know that one of their

parents goes to, go somewhere Tuesday nights at eight. Yeah. Um, and has a bunch of like funny friends who like, I, we, my son and I go bowling with some sober guys on a Saturday morning and he just knows him as his 40 something friends. Yeah.

Um, one named Ronaldo, you know. Right. His buddy, Ronaldo, Stevie, Max shout out. Um, but, and we have a great time. So I, you know, I buddy, Ronaldo, it's Stevie Mac shout out. Um, but we have a great time. So, you know, I don't know, but I hope that if they are ever headed in that way that they see from as far back as they can remember that their dad was able to have

that thing and find recovery. Yeah. No, it is amazing. Like getting to reparent yourself. It's like the weird, it's like a feedback loop of like, am I parenting me? Or like, and the difference between talking to them, the way you talk to them and the way you talk to yourself is pretty, a pretty wide gulf where you're like, let's look at this gulf.

Why am I talking to this person with consideration? And I'm talking to myself like my own slave. Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I're like, let's look at this golf. Why am I talking to this person with consideration? And I'm talking to myself, like my own slave. Yeah. Um, I remember once my son, my wife and I were both, I was, it was one of those mornings where I was running to work and my wife had to go run an errand and we

were taking my son to school and it was just like kids complain about tummy aches. Right. And it could mean they don't want to go. They don't feel like going to school that day. It could be a myriad of things, or it could be that they have a tummy ache. And he's like, Oh, I have a little bit of a tummy ache, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, bud, we got to go to school. I was like, cause I gotta go.

But like, if you don't feel good, tell them to call me and I'll come back and pick you up. Like, and they're great about that. He's like, I just don't know. I'm like, oh yeah, I gotta go, I gotta go. And of course, 20 minutes later, get the call. Doesn't feel good. He's like in tears in the office. And thankfully, my angel of a mother-in-law swoops in, picks him up, and I come home a

few hours later and I said, you know, buddy, I want to say sorry, because I kind of, you know, I didn't listen to you well enough today and I'm going to do a better job of that. And he went, okay. Yeah. It's like, that is so healthy. Yeah. Like, oh, you're accepting it and moving on?

Fuck. Yeah. You're not holding your grudge? Okay. I don't know how you're doing this, but yeah. Like, cause I'm like like even, you know, cause sometimes I'm quick to accept an apology because I would want it from the other end, but I go, but you're going to pay.

Yeah. You're going to lose me for a while. Like you're going to get. You're going on ice. You're going to go, you're going to get slow tech specs. Yeah. We got to send a message.

Couple of weeks. Is it self care or not? I don't know. May I, it's still done I will die not knowing if the silent treatment and degradation relationships is self-care or if it's just dumb punishment Dumb like Judeo-Christian you must pay Old Testament shit, but then will you have relationships that do kind of?

Expire for a while and then come back? Yeah. Guys, you know, I was on the road and I went to, we'll call it Whole Foods, and I got one of the kind of more natural deodorants and it wasn't, non-natural deodorants don't really work. And then I realized that I needed to when when I got back to LA I I opened my mail and I'd gotten a box from our sponsor today which is Mando and I've been using Mando the last couple days and it actually works. It actually works and I'm gonna take it on the road with me because Mando has a bunch of travel size options. Like they've got a four in one acidified cleansing bar, which is a five ounce bar that does the work of a shampoo, face wash, body wash, and deodorant. Use that as well.

And I add deodorant just cause I have it and why not. He also uses it to create a rich shaving lather. So technically it's a five in one. It's technically proven to control odor for 24 hours. Mando's four in one acidified cleansing bar is formulated with a gentle alpha hydroxy acid that stops odor at the source. I don't know why, look, it's none of my business

why it works, pH, alpha hydroxy, none of my business. A doctor developed it, I'll take her word for it. I also, the reason I like the travel size stuff is because I, when you go through TSA, I just don't want. I also the reason I like the the travel size stuff is because I When you go through TSA, I just don't want the pain in the ass of like this is my is this year Yeah, it's my bag. It's all mine So with the alpha hydroxy soap you can get it in three cologne quality sense Mount Fuji is fresh and woodsy Wearing that right now. Wish you were here. Wish you could smell my body

Bourbon leather is sweet and sophisticated pro Pro Sport is clean and citrusy. They all work. My favorite is Mount Fuji. New customers get $5 off Mando's best-selling starter pack with code NEAL, N-E-A-L, at shopmando.com. That's S-H-O-P-M-A-N-D-O.com. Code NEAL. It's just, it's good. It's like they have good products. Like I, I,

I'm endorsing them. They have really good products, literally wearing it right now. Literally use the soap. Literally I'm going to travel with all this stuff. It's great. Mando's starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, two free products of your choice, like mini body wash and deodorant wipes, and free shipping. Luckily, I have a discount code to help you get hooked

on my favorite smelling whole body deodorant on the market. New customers get $5 off a Starter Pack with our exclusive code that equates to over 40% off your Starter Pack. Use code NE al at shop Mando dot com this sh o p m a n d o dot com and you're gonna want to use code Neil Mando

Delicious You had something the and another you said you don't know if you got any real relationships What does that mean? I think, I don't know. I don't know if it's the, I hesitate calling myself a comedy human next to a true comedy human, but like anyone who is funny and professionally has to be funny, like there are moments where I just have that like, oh, I'm doing the husband thing. Like I'm like living outside of myself and going like, I'm doing the dad thing.

Yeah. Like, and, but like, am I really connected to this? And I am, I know I am on a deep level. And again. It's in and out sometimes. You're doing the right thing for the wrong reason. It's, I think we're, we live too much in like, uh, inspection culture of like, what's the motive behind

why you're doing what you're doing. It's fucking, don't worry about it. Right. No one who went to world war two wanted to fight Hitler. Right. They did it. They didn't, but do you want to do it? No, I don't want to do it. I'm going to do it. Right did it. They didn't, but do you want to do it?

No, I don't want to do it. I'm going to do it. Right. Why are you questioning? So I, yeah, like sometimes there are some, you're more inspired and more in a groove than others, but if you, the problem is going to Florida and abandoning the kids.

It's like, it doesn't always have to be. And I also think guys assume the best about women that their hearts are always, cause that's their PR. Sure. But like they don't fucking, they don't want to know women don't want to be, do all the shit that they have to do all the time. You know what I mean? But we go like, well, cause they work too hard. No, it's just, some of this shit is a bit of a job.

I think I see it in my wife when it's the moment where she goes, I'm gonna do something with the garage. And I go, I'm staying out of this. Yeah, and what does she mean? She just needs a break? No, it's like every just couple months she'll be like, and it'll just be like, it'll just be her in months she'll be like, and it'll just be like, it'll just be her in the garage and a project, and it'd just be like, I don't know.

It's like she needs a task that's not running after these kids and worrying about me. I also don't think that- And fix something that can be fixed. Even like a great dad and a great husband in a, I think that we, the way most men are composed, physically and chemically, it's that we, the main, the way most men are composed physically and chemically, it's like we can do it, but like, it's not the most natural shit. Right.

Like I, I can fight way better than I can nurture. Right. I just can, cause I have aggression in like built into me. And even when you're with kids and your testosterone goes down and all that stuff, there's just shit we're like built to fucking clear land. We just can't, you know? Not me, I'm on that TRT.

Well you're, are you, I'm what you got. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. Not this jawline. My, yeah, it's, there were certain tangible things I learned early on when I was 21 that I couldn't believe that I had missed. Like if you want self-esteem, do with steam of blacks.

I also assumed that you're only self-centered if you like you. But if you don't like you, it's still self-loathing still has a self in it. Yeah. Like, um, you know still self centered. The self is still, self loathing still has a self in it. Yeah. Like, um, you know, I got really good at like, you want to do something like you're, if you want to really feel God, pick someone up from the airport.

Yeah. Like feel like, say more about that. It's just nobody do the things no one wants to do and you'll be amazed the reprieve from self you'll get for the next couple hours, if not days. Like help someone move. Yeah, or you get really caught up in your victimization. Say more.

You just go like, I can't fucking believe I gotta do this. Like I gotta hide so much shit I had to do today anyway. Now I have to fucking go to the airport, fucking. Why do people do this to me? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, like, and that's not, that's the opposite of God. Right. Who actually worked, it's you, it's not God.

He moved God out. Yeah, like you fucking ruined it. Yeah. So I think playing with kids is like, is, is what you're talking about more than, then cause it's so fucking fortifying for them. It's like, you can get someone an Uber, right? You can, and they'll still get from the airport. If you don't want to go, you can't, there are no substitutions for the nutrients a kid gets from like direct caring adult attention, I don't think.

Yeah. When's the last time you picked somebody up from the airport? My girlfriend and her kid, 10 days ago. It's the best. And could you imagine had she had that one extra step of worrying about is you were gonna come? No, I wasn't gonna do it.

Like that's the thing, I wasn't gonna to do it. Like that's the thing. I wasn't going to do that. I did slip in self pity though, because I had to, I was working and I was like crammed and I like, I got to get to the airport and is she going to be mad at me that I wasn't at the thing and the, and like, you know, the, the walls close in on me. That's grace. You, you gave, the walls close in on me. That's grace. You gave her grace that day because she was probably tired.

Yeah, of course. Traveling with a kid and you took away like a big step of stress. And I would imagine for her, because I can just say how I feel when I know like, my wife, we don't live that far from the airport so sometimes when we're coming back from work, my wife would be like, I'm around, I'll get you.

And I'm like, oh, good. Yeah. And that, oh, good. No, I agree. It is great. It's great on their end. Yeah, like. But yeah, I still, I just have bad habits.

I just have bad voiceover habits. Yeah. Like during the show, I got fake tattoo, temporary tattoos made, blame with a line through it and self pity with a line through it. Because those are my two, I'm just dying to blame and then feel sorry for myself. That's like my, if you're like you want to eat or feel sorry for yourself, I want to feel sorry for myself. Like I would rather do that. Like I just have, they've gotten way better and I threw a bunch of shit, but largely gratitude.

And how does the plant medicine, and I think you've talked about this. I think my fear was always that it's, I'm looking, I've always looked for a vaccine. I know that's sort of like a hot word nowadays, but like, I would just want to be able to do it once and be done. You might.

Or a schedule, you know, like. You might. And just be all better. And from, it seems from listening to you and other people I've heard talk about, they're like, things are revealed and then there's a level of maintenance. Yeah.

Yeah. Would you say that? Yeah, I would, that is my experience. And then you just got to, it's like a weird form of sobriety where once you know a better way to be, you have to maintain it. You have to like write in my journal and exercise and just stuff. That's like, I know this is, my voiceover will be better if I do the right shit.

And also if I do feel sorry for myself, I'm like, this is Alex Jones. This is not like, you know, this is not real. What could Neil Brennan possibly have to complain about? Right. Like what could I possibly have? What complaint could I possibly come up with?

I do it, but I know they're bullshit, but it just, you're, I, I go down the lane for 40 minutes before I go like, Oh, this is bullshit. Right. It's real as it's, it's real as anything until then. It's does it manifest physically? Like I have terrible, like earlier today, I got treatments for TMJ, my jaw. Cause I just say Botox.

Go ahead. I got Botox from the best part is I got Botox from my boy who I grew up with, who became a maxio facial surgeon. So this is, this is perfectly Josh Peck summed up. Right. So I don't go to a traditional, just like

a beauty bar or wherever they do Botox. Cause I'm like, this is my jaw. Never had Botox anywhere else. I swear to God, but I, I'm like, I, but I've been had massive plastic surgery. Um, but I'm like, I is my jaw. Never had Botox anywhere else. I swear to God, but I'm like, I, but I've been had massive plastic surgery. Um, but I'm like, I want to go to a facial surgeon cause it is my face. And if I got a droopy lip or something,

that's going to mess up the pod for a couple of months. So I go to a proper maxio facial surgeon, but he's my boy. So he hooks me up and goes, just buy, pay for the Botox. I'll do it's five minutes. I'll inject you for free.

But because I'm getting it free, he's talking shit to me the whole time. Like when I go, I'm like, are you going to use some of that numbing cream again? He's like, nah, bro, I'm going to put it in a dark gun below. I'm like, can I get the doctor right now? Whatever it costs. I'll take the doctor. He's the best. Yeah.

Uh, you did mention plastic surgery, which I'll take the doctor, he's the best. Yeah. You did mention plastic surgery, which I don't know any, I don't know, I don't look at you and go, this guy's had a ton of work done, which is kind of the point, right? Well, it's the thing we taught, like when I was 21, I kind of did like the tummy tuck thing that people do.

And when you lose a bunch of weight and it was great, but like I said, it was sort of like, there were like little things I could have done that I just was like, no more. Like I just said, I'm done. Like I felt very lucky that I was okay and I'd made it out and I just never did anything else. And, and so those moments at the pool where I'm insecure, I go, could I have done this at 30, a little bit

more and not had this and be walking around a little more confident? It's such a first world problem. No, no, well, no, it's yeah, but it's just interesting, like. Cause I did the work, I kept it off. Yeah. You know, I work out and I try to like be in

fairly okay shape, but I'm like, why won't you, I work out and I try to like be in fairly okay shape, but I'm like, why won't you just do this? Like one little thing that might be better, but I just don't. I mean, it also, after a point, it's like, exactly nobody wants you to fucking take your shirt off.

Can I be the title of the episode? Yeah, like fucking nobody needs it. Like no one needs you to be in good, no one needs me to be in good shape. They just like, most of a guy's worth is fucking up here. But I'm an actor, like I don't care, I truly don't care, thank God I don't care enough anymore that this doesn't like, if I have to take my shirt off

in a scene, I would just be like, yeah, great, and I'll have a little aside with the director. Yeah, hope the blur machine is doing good. Yeah, dog, I'll be like, pick a good angle, please, and we'll talk to little aside with the. Hope the blur machine is doing good. I'll be like, pick a good angle, please. And we'll talk to VFX after this. Um, but, uh, throughout my like twenties and thirties, if I, if I was reading something and there was a scene with a shirt off, I'm like, I didn't want this. Yeah.

Um, all right. Well, what did you think? What do you make of your life looking back so far? What do you make of it? And what do you make of your life looking back so far? What do you make of it and what do you like, what's the point of you? It's a new big question I'm asked sometimes. This is another dumb corny thing. I was driving in the car with my wife like months ago

and talking something about my career. Cause sure. What else? Who would have thought? It's so interesting. Yeah. Um, uh, but more about me and, um, what do you think of me?

And, and she goes, she asked me something about like, cause you know, I do like a lot of social media stuff and podcasting and, and knock would I've been able to keep acting and stuff. And she kind of asked me something of like, do you feel like you wear yourself out doing all these other things

or maybe like just kind of people don't think of you in that way sometimes because you're busy doing the pod and a bunch of other things. And I go, yeah, maybe, but I've been doing all this for the last 15 years this way. And it brought me to you and our kids. So I know I did the right thing. Yeah.

And I was like, I got her. She was like, Whoa, I did not marry a piece of shit. I think she wants to have sex with me tonight before she falls asleep at 15. Exactly. Um, I'm going to get such a sexy look. Yeah. She drips. Yeah.

Um, do you, what do you, yeah. So that is like beyond the career stuff. You just are like, that's the best thing. My wife and my kids makes me have no regrets. Cause if anything was different, I wouldn't have them. Right. Were there any like moments where you had to choose or was it, did you meet her on social media?

No, no, no pre, this was like pre dating apps. Again, us meeting made no sense. Like I was, I grew, when I moved to LA, I grew up in North Hollywood in like, like the archstone Avalon apartments. I love it. So you know, the Oakwoods, of course, story. It's like transient living for people coming out to work

on a show for three months. The one step above that was the Avalon Apartments, which I moved into at 14, which weren't, didn't have the creepy furnished furniture, but everything else was very transient. We had every great boy band from B2K to IMX. Fantastic. It's just so, so good.

And we moved in there at 14 and we got a two bedroom apartment and the amenities were a pool, Monday night dinner, security guard and a gym. And we paid 1900 a month and I lived there till I was 29. Cause I was like, why would I live anywhere else? This is the greatest place I've ever lived. And they were like, he's never going to use the pool or the gym.

And then they're like, fucking this guy won't stay out of the pool in the gym. I used every amenity. I was just that guy. I knew everyone. I was in the. So you lived there until eight years ago. Yeah. And when did you move in with her?

She moved in there? No, God bless her. So I'm 24, she's 20. We meet at a Halloween party in North Hollywood that I had all the business being at, because I was a North Hollywood kid and she was like this pretty smart, cool girl from like the beach, from like, came from a pretty affluent

neighborhood and, and we just looked at each other and we chatted and I, I took her out, you know, I remember specifically, I was going to do a 3d dance movie with Chris Brown called battle of the year. Great. Just saying. Before you got served or after you got served? My filmography after some called it the, uh, the

accessory to you got served. Sure, sure, sure. They got served. Sorry to bring it up. We got served or after you got served? My filmography after. Some called it the accessory to you got served. They got served. Sorry to bring it up. We got served. It's about depositions. No, subpoenas. And I said, I'm going to France tomorrow, which sounds cooler than I am,

but when I get back, I'd love to take you out on a date. And three weeks later, I got home and I was like, I'd love to take you out on a date and three weeks later I got home and I was like I'd love to go see a movie with you and we and we've been together ever since and It was so easy and it and you went on a double date with Chris Brown and Rihanna, correct? We did and they then you split up and you're like don't get weird and then then you heard the 911 call Yeah, and that's Hollywood ladies and gentlemen. I was don't get weird. And then, then you heard the nine on one call. Yeah. And that's Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. I was great talking about it. Thanks, dude. You're a good man.

You're a good boy. All you have to do is open, open up your hand, my man