Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Lil Rel Howery

Episode Date: December 28, 2023

Neal Brennan interviews Lil Rel Howery (Standup specials, ‘Vacation Friends 1&2,’ Get Out,’ ‘The Carmichael Show,’ + more) about the things that make him feel lonely, isolated, and like something's wrong - and how he is persevering despite these blocks. ---------------------------------------------------------- 00:00 Intro 5:18 Quitting Drinking for A Year 8:35 Fatherhood 9:40 Getting engaged at a Beyoncé concert 15:00 Panic Attacks 26:15 Fiancé 28:20 God 31:20 Therapy 44:46 How He’s Grown As A Partner 59:50 Getting Stable 1:04:00 What He’s Done 1:08:03 Dream For Himself ---------------------------------------------------------- https://nealbrennan.com for tickets Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81036234 Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle ---------------------------------------------------------- Sponsors: Http://BetterHelp.com/NEAL for 10% off your first month Gametime App Code: BLOCKS for $20 OFF your first purchase Http://DrSquatch.com/NEAL for 3 free bar soaps + free shipping Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Order now. Alcohol and select markets. See app for details. Hi, everyone. It's me, Neil Brennan. This is the Blocks Podcast. My guest today is one of the few people whose uh specials i think i watched all of them i think i've watched are there three of them there's three of them yep yep that i did it

i watched the comedy central one that was seven years ago yep damn yeah yeah and then and i watched the hbo one the two hbo ones Right. And a joke of yours that I think about all the time. Well, Chris Rock told me to watch the first one. That's a good endorsement. And then the one that I think about all the time is Bluetooth. Throwback, yeah. You do, Rel does a joke. My guess is Little Rel, everyone.

Little Howry, as he's known in movies but you know little rel um it's a how old dudes wear bluetooth headsets and think it's like some some star trek shit yeah especially when it first came out like it was just the way they would talk to him he could think he got to tell the bluetooth to do stuff for it to work you know i was just talking to somebody recently because people asking me where do i get these characters from all these characters are really my family my uncles and all that and i've just been able to like make them into something else for the bits like hello bluetooth answer the phone hello shut up shut up on the bluetooth hold on other line click over prank yeah bluetooth yeah

what you doing but these are like real people that's what i love about your act is the observations are so that i'd seen old dudes wearing blue. And I used to do a joke just like conversationally, like, why are these dudes? They won't take them out. There was a point where dudes would not take out their Bluetooth. There's probably still they were just excited like it was like they were talking to the CIA or something. Yeah. But yeah, that's what I love about your act is that you have these observations and then you are having a joy doing these characters yeah it's just

well that's what i love about stand-up you know like eddie murphy like the yeah it's like absurd like you can tell eddie murphy was like a little kid that was sitting there and just watching everything. The barbecue. Yeah. My Uncle Gus is the uncle that liked to work the grill and don't let nobody touch the grill when he's around and shit. As soon as he walk in the house, he's like, get away from that grill. You don't know how to stop no fire. You don't know how to stop no fire.

Put this fire out. This ain't no fire, goddammit. Eddie, Eddie, go over there and give me all that wood. I need half a tree. Chop that tree down over there. The barbecue bit to me is the one that the way I construct, the way I do my sets is basically that. Storyteller. The whole 60 you think of as kind of like the barbecue. Yep.

The great part about the barbecue is the thing everyone always forgets. So he does the bit and then someone in the audience yells, do it again. Do the shit again. You can hear it. It's no, you everyone like ignores it someone yells out do the bit you just did again it's so good it's insane um and it's also that bit is it jumps in time he's like talks about day before when he's talking about gus's wife yeah gus remember when we were on the boat like it's like jumps it's insane it's like uh inception so you moved out

to la 10 years ago yes yeah when the car michael show started dude so you lived in chicago when car michael started no i was in new york oh right you were in the friends of people yeah did a sketch series he was out there shooting it. And then when Carmichael's show got picked up, I came to LA. Did you think you would be, what did you think was going to happen? Oh, what? Like, did you think you were an actor in Chicago? Or are you just like, I'm funny?

No, I always tied all of it together. You know what I'm saying? Like, I started acting when I was a kid. Like, I was in like all the plays. Oh, got it, got it, got it. Stand-up is what I started when i was 19 i just it's weird with me because it's not like i've never overthought what the next thing is right i just took whatever the next job is yeah like stand-up is always there but everything else oh i booked a sitcom all right cool i moved to la i'd never like forced it if the money was does when i left yeah oh you'd be like all right well i should

leave yeah friends of people got picked up i was like i'm coming to new york friends of people was if the money was theirs when I left. Yeah. Oh, you'd be like, all right, well, I should leave. Yeah. Friends of the People got picked up. I was like, all right, I'm coming to New York. Friends of the People was a true TV sketch show, which had a great cast. It was great. They did great sketches, great cast. It was just one of the, it's just what gets popular and what doesn't is impossible to guess.

That's why you can't even like, I look at it like a camp experience almost, because that's where I learned how to write. look at it like a camp experience almost because that's how i learned how to write um and it was when you're doing a show with your friends like i it was one of the funnest things i've ever experienced that writer's room was so i can only imagine yeah and then you most certainly weren't get out i'm ts motherfucking a bird box i was excited to see in bird box i'm still excited about Bird Box just as a movie. Big Bird Box fan.

Not an amazing movie. Kind of silly. But something about Bird Box hit me the right way. And it's fun to say Bird Box. Bird Box. It's like peacock. Peacock. On peacock.

On peacock. Bird Box. Bird Box. Peacock. Peacock. So and then you were on uh draughts sitcom then you had your own sitcom here's what i know about you i know that you've stopped drinking which i always i did for a while oh no no no for a long while the papers i did a reset right at the rail because i realized how

like i was stress drinking. Doing a sitcom is so hard. When you're starring in it and producing it, it was the most pressure I think I've ever felt. I think when we ended Rail, that's when Gerard, Joshua Benowitz, and rest in peace Kevin Barnett. It wasn't necessarily an intervention, but it was a conversation. Gerard invited me to the Four Seasons. I thought we was going to brunch. Oh i thought we was going to brunch brunch this is a fun but it wasn't brunch it was like in the room like so what's up and they just they was talking to me they saw how stressed i was and what like it was a very honest conversation and i right i appreciate them

to this day for that because i had to really sit and think about well all right what did what was that i heard i only heard that they called it an intervention i'm kidding um no i only heard that you they like that you were doing a lot and that you stopped yeah i stopped i had to stop i had to stop and reset myself because i had to make sure i wasn't i was stress drinking i was just doing that shit like i was like leaving set because i was so stressed out it's having a tv show is the worst especially when you're trying to do it for everybody i think like i was trying to impress black people around the country making sure i'm doing all this stuff right and i want to

make sure it was a lot man and that's one of the great parts about being white you don't you're just doing it for yourself that is a great one once you know of course it is and once you say i'm doing it for all white people then it gets creepy jay-z has said that one time like like especially being a black you do feel like your community is on your back and you gotta you gotta do it for everybody yeah just really which is really crazy because white people can't just be like oh yeah just for me and my family yep just me and bernie my yeah my daughter and wife. And do you, okay, so what, so it was stressful. Yeah.

And that was your, that would get, that would allow you to escape. Yeah, and then, you know, it's funny. So, like, I took a year off. I took a whole year off, didn't drink. And now, like, I specifically. How was the year off? What was the difference? lot like first i started like working out more and stuff my skin got clearer you have good skin oh thank you i don't

agree with the i don't agree with the letting yourself go great because i think you could play 15 years younger guess what if they ask me i just go this is like what i like to wear in my regular life right so when i'm playing characters like most of the time you look at stuff even the next four or five things that make that's coming out every everything i look different in because i can't play younger and i can't cut this off and i do diet but i like looking like this i couldn't wait to look like an older black man i never understood that i believe you've said that to me before and i never understood it please explain what the benefit of looking like an old dude is. Because I'm an old soul.

And so all the people I looked up to was my dad and my uncles. And literally, I look like. When I was 10, this is how I wanted to look. I look exactly how I imagined myself that I was going to look as a grown up. God damn it, that's funny. I'm with you. Yeah. I guess I know what you mean.

I like looking wise i like i like everything i do is very it's a very specific thing i look i love looking like a dad yeah how what's your oldest now 14 that's yeah it's like that's is it a girl or guy girl my daughter's the oldest and is she like how is that so i've been doing like i've been touring so i've been talking about her on stage a lot. But teenage girls is teenage girls. You know, they're always irritated and doing TikToks. And you can see when it's, like, you remember when she was, like,

a sweet little girl and it just became like. Well, she's starting to come back to that again. But she had her moment where she was kind of like, I'm like, damn, I'm going to leave you alone. But now she's, like, back hugging me again. And, you know, we talk all the time. time so but yeah it was it was her teenage it was weird too when it happened because it was like sweet little girl to like sassy yeah no yeah that's what that's what happens apparently and then they like hate you for eight years and then they're like then they have to ask you for money that's what i've heard but that's that's i mean they never stop that's never stopped yeah but but they think it's whatever

they understand that like now it's they need to persuade you um how many kids you have three and you been married once twice i've been married once i just got engaged on Monday. On Monday, and I heard it was at a Beyonce concert. Is there any truth to that? Yeah. Where at the concert? At our seats. Okay. So it wasn't like you didn't arrange it with Beyonce?

I kind of did. So I called Miss Tina, which is Beyonce's mom, and I was just asking which song would be a good song to propose to. Because it's the Renaissance, too. I feel like this is an abuse of power in terms of abuse of access in that you shouldn't be able to call Beyonce's mom and find out when you should.

I'm happy you did it, but just from the outside. One time my sister called me. I know John Mayer a little bit. And my sister called me. John Mayer plays with the Grateful Dead. My sister was going to see them at Wrigley Field. And my sister called me and said Mayer plays with the Grateful Dead. My sister was going to see them at Wrigley Field. And my sister called me and said, hey, the ticket says 8.

Can you ask John what time they really go on? And I was like, I can't. You're just going to have to go and wait it out. So what song did she suggest you do it? Love on Top. Okay. So I proposed. She gave me specific instructions, like it's probably the she suggest you do it love on top okay so i proposed she gave me specific instructions like it's probably the best time to do it when beyonce has the audience singing

and you propose none of that happened like that because i had to go to the bathroom then the song started while i was peeing and so i had to run back to this it was a lot it was covered in piss yep i know but i had to but you know this 43 op so you know no yeah so you're gonna just dribbles yeah you gotta go like come on yeah i have a tip i'll give you off the air about that true yeah all right look pass the balls if you like push against whatever's between your your perineum your taint if you will if you just kind of like push that it'll get the spurts out a girl told me about it a long time ago oddly uh clearly i had a problem and she intervened and it was conversation and uh and wait how did she know what did you have to ban from no no i must have just been pissing on myself meaning and was a girlfriend, and she was like, hey, you can stop doing that.

Just dribbles after. I'm going to cut parts of this out. But just so you know, because it starts in your 30s, where you just slowly don't have absolute command. I went to college football. I went to see Colorado play. Oh, that to see colorado play oh did you really great i went and they got the old stalls in the bathroom like the lowlands like a big sink yeah i like wrigley field yeah and so like which i haven't seen in so long which is the craziest

thing everybody's looking up nobody's oh yeah it's it's yeah because there's no space it's just you're standing there it's like it's right open court into a tub into a tub everybody feed it to the same tub and it was so funny because you see the older older guys are just standing there you could you could hear it you don't want to yeah but it yeah yeah that has nothing to do with nothing but it was like wow okay i like that colorado's gonna be like an hbcu now when i tell you i've never been to a college football game before that was my first time i've never high-fived so many people fantastic all the time like we're doing this after every yeah play yeah like a three yards great yeah

people i don't know i don't know man did that it's so it's so dion got the place it was and everybody was dead like it was like boutang was dead hilarious camera it was it was a crazy group yeah it is gonna be colorado is going to be Colorado alright so you were drinking to escape so then you stopped drinking for a year and then when you re-approached drinking what was the new

belief system now I drink specifically I do a Tito's and vodka and if I do a shot it's a Casa Amigo Reposado shot with an orange slice. So now I don't have the headaches no more because I'm not just drinking a bunch of things. And then I don't drink at home. I got so much liquor in my house, but I do not like drinking in the house.

So it's only when I'm out. And do you drink every night? I guess sometimes. It depends, especially in the comedy world. So you're always at something. Yeah, we work at bars. Yeah, so yeah. Because I don't like drinking during my show.

So if I'm performing, I don't drink during the show. I don't drink until after the last show or whatever. Just because I like to be clear. Which that actually helped too when I stopped. I started creating my own like rules because it wasn't a ruse before then yeah i was drinking or just for performing performing and drinking like i was drinking i'll be i have a drink on stage yeah i remember the club in chicago they made a drink for me called what that do based on one of my jokes it's interesting like

now i can't i don't want to have because i want to keep my energy up and i don't want to be you can control it a little bit like you don't want to i'd also rather think of something funny sober yep then drunk because i would give myself credit for it so just like oh that was alcohol i wrote that it's crazy because like i see some of my openers you know that you'll see comics still using it as a crutch to like they can't perform which that's also an anxiety thing too i think yeah of course but well do you have anxiety because i don't have a lot of anxiety so i don't really need to drink i used to but once i started going to therapy you know everything got better i started understanding what things okay man what were the main findings in therapy for you that you can talk about?

A lot. It was me. At first, for a long time, I didn't deal with my mom's death correctly. When did your mom die? In 09. Okay. And so I kind of just pushed through it. But when I started going to therapy, I didn't realize how many things were still just sitting there that I'd never let out or never even dealt with or thought about.

She died suddenly? It was just fast. She was diagnosed with cancer that January and then died that June. And so it was just like a, it just was so, and I think for me, I was going through a guilt phase because it was hard for me to see her in the hospital. I only went maybe twice. Just because you didn't like going around? Yeah.

Not like you didn't like, but it was incapable. I couldn't see her like that. Yeah. It was too hard for me. And so, because that's, you know, I was still doing stand-up and that's how I was making my money. So, like, I couldn't be sad all the time. And so, I made a choice where I kind of picked comedy over that and I felt guilty about it.

My mom, she wrote a um when she was in the hospital and i remember one of the journal entries was like you know she wished i would come to the hospital more because she i'm the person she loves talking to and so when you read something like that after somebody's gone it was just a guilt trip for a long time for me and so when i had i was shooting a movie and i had a panic attack in my house before i went on set and that was the day i made a decision to go to therapy my assistant was there and i was like yo just send me some people you ever had a panic attack before no pretty wild it was the crazy i couldn't stop crying and i didn't know what the hell was going on with me yeah could you breathe

was it like it was a lot i can't even describe that shit it was just like because i never experienced it i couldn't even function it feels like a movie sequence is happening it feels like you're in a montage of like the walls are closing in you can't breathe you you can't think because you're panicking because you can't breathe those are the ones i've had at least i had them on stage for real yeah like while performing you had yeah i had them the week leading up to three mics and i was like what the i've never had one in my life wow started having them on stage and then now i take a beta blocker to go on stage um which and it's great um but yeah i could i'd never have one before my life is insane that's what made me go to therapy

i was like i have to figure this out and i haven't had a panic attack since then great and did you know immediately this is emotional because sometimes people think it's like a heart attack or whatever i i knew it was emotional because it was too many thoughts i was thinking about so it was like a weird highlight reel of things that make me cry that was in my head and i started crying like you know i mean yeah it was it was crazy what was in the montage like you my mom's passing my brother like um them not being there i wish they was in certain moments it was a lot was there anything like the super bowl shuffle it might have been one last dance clip yeah that's how i played the game um yeah steve kerr getting punched in the face for some reason no no

um i'm gonna tell you the last dance dude i watch it a lot so i do listen to me the last dance is a touchstone for, I watch it, I'll just be like, I just want to watch it. And then I know a lot of women that watch it that didn't even know anything about it. My buddy Jimmy Carr, British comedian,

loved The Last Dance. He didn't know anything about the bowl, didn't know anything about basketball. And he's like, I liked the story with Scott Pippen, which made me laugh. It's the only person who ever called me scott pippen um so uh so the the last dance is uh like a touchstone for a lot of people uh as a bulls fan of course being from chicago you so you relive a lot of the stuff and then it was just watching michael like the end of the episode where he's like talking about he started crying he's like break yeah they said that was the first

interview that was the first thing they recorded was that with him doing all that and just go like look if you don't want to play like that don't play like that break break yeah everybody just said they're like what you mean break like he just he just said break and got up this show is sponsored by better help the holidays are coming up go to therapy create some boundaries create some ways to deal with your parents or your brother or your aunt or whatever therapy will help you i promise i can't think of a podcast that talks about mental health more than this one i'm a big proponent of therapy so many many modalities, so many ways to help you. It's good. I've never gone to a bad therapy session. Therapy has helped me so much. It's kind of insane. Yeah,

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Guaranteed. And so your brother, your mom, how long did it last? I don't know. Because I was late for set, and my assistant had to come to the house because everybody was trying to call you. Oh, so you were like immobile. I was sitting on my stick. I couldn't move, and I was just crying.

Yeah. Nonstop. And she told me, like, you're having a panic attack. Yeah. And she helped me breathe or whatever because it was just like i'd never it drained me i was so i never and literally that afternoon i called the therapist and we talked on the phone and then our first session was probably like a few days after that great and you go uh every tuesday if i can well mostly if i can every tuesday yeah shout out to dr. Of course. Did you specifically get a black

therapist? Yep. It's important. And a black woman. She be checking me, man. And I love it. Correct. She hold me. I remember I had to before I met my fiance now. My fiance now

like it was a girl I was dating, but I kind of was just gonna ghost her and she wouldn't let me do that you know she's like well you're better the therapist wouldn't let you go talk to her tell her why what can you say why why did i want to break over yeah it was um it was a couple things i mean one of the big things was it just didn't feel no sometimes you could just feel like she was doing. And this was crazy. I met her through a dating service.

So I almost signed up for a dating service. I put my name in the database. And then the lady actually contacted me because what they do is these are matchmakers. So they'll meet separate people. And they met like, she's like, I have four or five women I think you'll be perfect for. Would you mind going on a date with anybody? And so they interview you and talk to you. And then they interview them and talk to you and then they interviewed him and talk to them and you don't ever talk to each other you meet at the restaurant that the matchmaker uh pick out and me and her hit it off right away we really did it was like kind of crazy you are

an old dude everybody else using apps you're like let me call a number and get a matchmaker. But I'm going to tell you, it's a lot of really dope, successful women that does a matchmaking thing. It's very interesting. Is it like a millionaire? Is there any sort of caveat? It's expensive. Is it for black people? No, it's for everybody.

Everybody. But you just could be specific about who you want to meet. You just them like you know i'd rather date a black woman i really yeah yeah so and they're that is cool if they're good i mean clearly there's good at it yeah and so once you met her did you we was good for a while it was just like i mean one of the i'm a man of faith right i'm gonna do that loves God I talk about God that's what it is and she was I guess at that time

I mean just it just wasn't the same we wasn't in line with that frequency yeah and so I was like that was a big deal and

I don't know also it was like sometimes I didn't like the way she explained things you know what I mean so like it just it just was like it was just annoying. You know how I try to wait on somebody to tell you what they really want to tell you

and they get on through all these different spaces. You're like, can we get to the point? And I didn't like that. And did she change? No. I mean she was saying she could but I'm like I don't want to do it. I had a gut that it just wasn't it. I knew I was getting close to her.

I knew when I met her, I'm getting closer to meeting the exact type of woman I want. Because then I got very specific about. Okay, so did she, is she the woman? No. Oh, so you moved on from her. I moved on, but my therapist wanted me to not just ghost her because that's what I was going to do. Got it. I was just going to disappear.

And did you tell her, you laid out, how much did you tell her in the exit interview? My therapist wanted me to not just ghost her because that's what I was going to do. Got it. I was just going to disappear. And did you tell her you laid out? How much did you tell her in the exit interview of the girl? I said a lot to her. It was an interesting conversation. She was hurt, but she thanked me for being honest and not ghosting her. And I'm like, I did it, Dr. Shamina. She was checking me.

Yeah. She said, you're better than that, Rel. Call her. I'm like, all right. Okay. And then how did you meet your what? Yeah. She said, you're better than that, Rel. That's hilarious. Call her. I'm like, all right. Okay. And then how'd you meet your wife or fiance? Oh, I met her at a screening. I actually showed up with two other girls.

Fantastic. So I'm hanging out with them. And we were mutual friends whose show it was. Shout out to Megan Good. And I went and said something really nice about Megan because we was very proud of her on the mic. And I got off the stage and she walked up to me, wifey, and was like, I love your heart.

You have a good heart. And that was very sweet what you said. It meant a lot to Megan. And I was like, huh. How about you? Like, who are you? And she said that and she walked away and I just could not stop looking at her and I couldn't stop thinking about her so i stalked megan's page to find her

you know i mean and then i went down the rabbit hole of just who she is and um and i was like how do i get her attention do she got a man you know i was looking you know you do all the research she had four amazing daughters and it's just it's just a great backstory so what i did was i saw that her and her daughters were volunteering to feed the homeless and they was raising some money so you pretended to be homeless no that's not what i did that would have been funny of course just just me showing up with a blanket hello no no what i did was i paid like they had like whatever they needed left to, like, complete the fund. And I just did that.

Great. And she hit me up. And she was like, wow, thank you for that. That was a big donation. And I appreciate that, blah, blah, blah. And then we just started DMing and talking. And, you know, it started with the text talking. And we started leaving voice memos.

Great. Shout out to voice memos. Voice memos, man. Fantastic. You got to hear how they sound. Yeah. It's very important. People's voices are very important and so then we did that and then um you know we moved to the phone call and our first real call was i was starting uh herald in a purple crayon that's

movie i did and um she was like well before you start can i call you and pray with you and i was like well we do that let's pray together and we've been that's what we've been since then we've been together since then like i haven't not not talked to her since that day all right let's talk about prayer because i don't we don't god it's hollywood so there's not a lot of god talk um but what's your understanding of god i got a very deep understanding of God. First of all, like, you know,

I, you'll grow, I grew up in the Baptist church, right? So I grew up, but when I started traveling the world, I realized that like, now it's not one religion.

I think that should be the prime thing. I think God, it's all the same. It's just, I say it's literally, it's literally the same thing. And, and,

you know, because I think God is a big God. Like I just, it's different cultures everywhere. It's literally the same thing. And, you know, because I think God is a big God. Like, I just, it's different cultures everywhere. So you can't just say, you can't explain everything one way. Yeah. And so, like, because once again, I think all of us are praising and doing all the same thing. So because of that, I just have this very wide, I respect and love God because I, like, you know, it made me really, like, I think about if I built something, right? If I created a world and I would just, I wouldn't control anything because I want to see these creations I made, see how they function and do stuff.

Yeah. And a lot of times, because you hear people say, well, if God is real, so why God don't intervene and do this and do that? But I'm like, but if you created something and you want to see how it play out, I'm not going to force my hand. I was like, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, you know what I mean? I think the greatest thing that we ever been blessed with is choices, you know?

And so it's on you what choice you make. Yeah. And I'm just like, I'm really thankful. And my faith is what keeps me going. Which even with the therapist, I wanted to make sure, even though we don't talk like that, but she gets it. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. But it's a big part of me.

That's how I function. That's how I move. And that's what I love about Danella. Shout out to my fiance. Is that we have very deep conversations. And I love that. We can go there. We go into some crazy deep conversations and i love that like we can go there like we go into some crazy deep conversation yeah because she know the bible back and forth and

some things i dispute sometimes i'm like i mean yeah hey somebody else wrote this though yeah and so you know uh but i love that i love that we can go there and it's nobody's offended you know i mean yeah well if you're talking it's the other thing is no one knows so it's all just a guess based on even the what you know i i was an atheist now i'm not but so i'm i'm i'm not dismissive of it i just think it's incomprehensible i think the whole thing's incomprehensible not like and therefore i don't i just i feel like any inkling people it's like i don't think it's understandable god has never said anything to me that um that was misguiding and if it was that's not god and that's why you got to be careful about all these like because people

do invite so many things into them now like the ancestors speak to me and it's like nah yeah i'm good too many conversations yeah the ancestors didn't were just weren't around till like six years ago yeah people just started saying yeah they just where were they before um uh okay so therapy you you dealt so you dealt with the guilt around your mom. How did you square it? What did you come to within yourself? You made the decision you had to make? Well, one of the great things that she taught me where it was okay to have,

it's okay to be angry. All those feelings, I didn't think it was okay at first. You almost feel guilty about being mad. I would say neuroses is having a feeling about a feeling. those feelings i didn't think it was okay at first yeah you almost feel guilty about being mad like that's why i was saying neuroses is having a feeling about a feeling so you have a feeling and yeah but you shouldn't have that feeling and you're fucking just have the feeling she told me like you're just on it's fine it's normal and uh you were mad that your mother was got sick and died man and you know it's funny i remember i did a bit on this the last

hbo special when i talked about therapy and i brought up one of the questions she asked she's like do you think the wrong parent died and that was a really honest conversation i had to have with myself i remember being mad at her like why you asked me something i remember cursing her like what the fuck you asked me like that was a real thing and she was like no do you think the wrong parent died and i had to be very honest with myself that didn't mean i didn't love my dad i don't love my dad right just love your mom more more i mean honestly yeah you know and so yeah i i do and i was very honest and then i started having that conversation with myself but it also became a conversation i started having about my dad and understanding him a lot more.

And it's been, I don't know, because I'm a comic maybe. I love the direction therapy. It's just right. It's interesting. Of thoughts I've never thought to have. I'm like, wow, that's deep. You're allowed to think unpopular shit. Yep.

you're allowed to think unpopular shit yep you're allowed to like what would be bombing anywhere else or or a thing where you're not supposed to say that or you're not allowed to say it or whatever like they're starting from a place of like sigmund freud who's like basically like hey you want to fuck your mom you're like yo so he's already bombing yeah so you can go in and like say whatever you want and it's acceptable yeah so what's your what have you found out about yourself well a couple things first of all it's made me have better relationships a lot of my homies my homeboys you know and having really honest conversations with them that was a thing that exposed to like well like like if i thought somebody was doing something wrong it was a time i really wouldn't say much because it'd be it's kind of like were you pissed at

geron and everybody for for the conversation no okay i was i was mad at first because you didn't get brunch but but you were you were you were mad at first because i was just mad because they were stepping in me yeah i like that now so the beginning of the of the conversation was me kind of almost squaring up with them. Like, yo, what the fuck y'all calling me for? That would have been the greatest intervention where you knocked them all out. Yeah, but I was in that. But then it was just like, Jara is so, because Jara is from the South. So he kind of like bucked up.

Like Josh and Kevin kind of like, oh, shit. But Jara was like, no, fuck that. You know what I mean? And it was out of love. I've never had nobody be that honest with me before. And it went from me being angry

to like all of us hugging. Yeah. Yeah. And me thanking him for having my back. I mean, one of the greatest things

they said in that conversation like, well, we don't care about like these deals and all this other shit. We, we want to make sure you're okay, man these deals and all this other shit we we want

to make sure you're okay man yeah fuck this hollywood it was believable it was it was real and i was like damn all right they being honest with me okay so and then now you feel like you've been able to start doing that with people yeah well i've it was weird because i've done it with them before you know you know because i'm the oldest too so like a lot that's what's another that big brother thing like who the little brother's talking to yeah yeah you know i'm the og yeah who you talking to yeah and so but what i've learned even from just therapy it's just like one of my good friends lost his daughter last year and you know i remember him calling me about it and i mean all of our kids are like each other's kids so it's just a tough thing for everybody but it's his kid so it's even tougher

you know i'm saying and i remember leaving the therapy my whole therapy session was about talking to him you know i'm saying i've you dude i've written like notes before i've called people like talking points yeah from kind of from therapy like what do i need to communicate and then yeah going from there and that's what i did as soon as i got in the car and i called him the first thing i told him was like man look it's okay not to be okay first of all i know you're showing all this extra strong shit that's just weird man yeah you lost your daughter so you walk around like with your shirt off okay i mean basically shit yeah like it's like it is that like some he-man shit it's not normal yeah and so i started and i remember

him being on the phone with me and thanking me for that yeah he's like because nobody has said that shit yeah and he just started crying like yes your baby mom like fam like you know what i'm saying and so like i've i've i think that's what i've enjoyed i think even now i'm a better comic i'm a happier comedian like i'm not it's not out of this place of just anxiety and sadness yeah yeah yeah anxiousness yeah whatever the fuck like i was on stage last night not last night a couple nights ago and i like to the fact that i could stand up there and put my hand in my pocket and just chill i'm not in no rush yeah yeah with my thoughts yeah and you can it's you're comfortable and they're fine and the audience is fine with you. I know so many great comedians

who are afraid of pausing because they don't want someone to yell some shit out. Like some of the best comedians in the world are kind of like conditioned to that pace because they don't want any kind of dull moment. Well, that's what's funny when you watch a comic

that has to pace the whole time. Well, it's like they're playing tennis, right? Yeah. They have to do that shit. And once again, and honestly, I've been there before, right? But I love how at peace I am. I could do an hour and still kill it, but at my own, I ain't in no rush.

It is funny because there are pacers but then there's also like daniel tosh wouldn't move he wouldn't move the mic stand and is crushing and like a little little devil standing behind just and just wouldn't move at all and would crush just as hard as anybody so it doesn't it it is uh a lot of people say it's like performing eddie murphy told chris to move like that because he said if you don't move the audience can stop looking at you they can look away and they know where you're gonna be so he that's why eddie pace that's what chris pace is like i'm not obviously there's some of the best ever pacers but um but but i know what you mean yeah i mean like if you could sit i mean that's one of the things i love about jarrod special i like how he just kind of sat in it at some point you could see him thinking like you know i'm like wow that's that's so cool i mean

ali sadiq is somebody i like a lot too that does the same thing stand-up is such an interesting thing when you do start working on yourself you know because our lifestyle is so weird such it's a it's a lifestyle where everything could be bad like you get all the temptations you talk about everything like every every like everything and so once you don't let that control you anymore you're like i this is what i love to do like i love watching like somebody i like watching what like i've seen you come to a comedy club a couple times and it's only certain people i see do what they look like they're just coming in to do their their stuff and they can kind of get in the fuck out. Like, I remember the time I couldn't leave the comedy club.

I didn't know what my life was, was without this shit. What did you do during COVID? Man. Because that was the time when everybody had to like, what am I going to do tonight? All like, well, I did a lot of six to midnight. I was on that Peloton. I worked out a lot. Actually, I was boxing and shit. I was on that Peloton. I worked out a lot, actually. I was boxing and shit.

It was crazy. That's when I really was like, and then I didn't have no real schedule. I didn't know what time anything was until they started showing The Last Dance. That's hilarious. It's when I said, oh, I got to figure out what time it is so I can watch this every Sunday. Like literally on Sundays for The Last dance, I had crab leg Sundays for the last dance. It was like my whole,

it's so crazy. It was your whole identity. That's all, it was like the, it was the only thing that the world was like, it was crazy. It was the one thing

I felt like I was watching with everybody. I got it before it came out. One of the greatest things that ever happened in my whole life. I had it for a month. Wow.

It was amazing. and i have another one that i can't talk about yet um now that is outstanding is it a sports no that's all i'm gonna say about it um damn okay so let's talk about what what the other parts that you've learned about in therapy which is so now you you can be more confident uh more well it sounds like you're almost like a emotion counselor for for other guys that aren't in therapy well this thing about i am but at the same time still like because once again that you know my mom is one section and my brother and family and work i remember one session was me having a conversation with little me new in dillard um the way i see myself right and it was crazy because i remember one of those session was me having a conversation with little me new and dealing with the way I see myself right and it was crazy because I remember one of those sessions

was like she hit me say like I'll be like I don't know why these like like these women like me oh I get all this attention and all this other stuff and she but why you always questioning that like who do you think you are and I like oh I had to go all the way back to like when I was a kid and I made a decision. Like, I remember it was a, it's a true, it was a girl I liked in like sixth grade and me and my best friend Gus, you know, back in the day you do the phone call, the three way, like one person is quiet. And I had him call this girl I like to see, you know, take her temperature.

And I was just listening. And then that call, when he was trying to ask for me she was asking she wanted to talk to him yeah and that crushed me yeah but it also was just like damn man like am i always i'm gonna have to be i gotta be extra funny i gotta be i've never be like just a good looking guy that the girl pick or whatever or the cool guy so i have to be very entertaining that's why i thought about this as i was a little kid and so then i went i had a mindset for a long i couldn't take a compliment so like if somebody said oh you're handsome i'm like all right whatever you know i'm saying like i couldn't take because i already made a decision yeah you were years ago like this is just what it is like

no we decided that on the party line on the freeway i'm not i'm not i'm the i'm the i'm funny and i'm that yeah you know and so I couldn't take certain compliments because I already made that decision and we really dove into that and at some point I remember like she was like well I want you to talk to talk to you until oh you who you are now and it was a conversation like first of all I look old fuck no first of all I look great I look exactly how I thought I was gonna conversation like first of all i look old as fuck no first of all i look great i look exactly how i thought i was gonna look like our wives was playing i look exact but that honestly i had to say that like hey you turned out to be you turned out to be the cool kid like

you know the kids you thought you couldn't be you actually became the cool person like you actually that's who you are yeah you know i'm saying like you every character you ever liked like from the way like my style is literally dwayne wayne and making mitch you know i mean that's exactly how i dress and so you know but i became everything i wanted to be and that was just a great moment for me because it gave me confidence and it let me be able to take compliments again because i could even take sometimes if i have a great set and get off stage and people are man you killed i'm like yeah yeah whatever man okay like i couldn't even acknowledge that yeah i know what you mean because you're it almost feels like i i don't i'm telling myself a story to get out of here yeah like don't fuck

up the story i'm telling myself yeah and you and by the way and it's you don't lose your sense of humor you don't go like i'm not now that i am a little proud of myself i'm not it's like you're still observed people yep and you'll still do extrapolations from the observation and figure out bits around them whatever okay so that's that's great how long ago was that might have been like last year a year ago okay but a little over a year ago and where are you with parenting like did you relative to the way job your parents did and then did you ever go through like the you weren't happy with them and then that's more of a white thing we turn on our parents at a certain yeah yeah i love yeah. I love my parents. I think they were extremely dope.

I think they did a great job. You know, I think the thing I explored in therapy was, like, humanizing them. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, they did dope. And it made me understand my parents. Me and my brother was talking about this. Like, yo, they were really good partners. They stayed together?

The whole time, yeah. Great. They partnered well, you know. Yeah. And I think that's that's that's impressive to me because it's hard to partner like nowadays it's crazy everybody kind of want to do their own thing but like they they were full-blown partners as you were saying this i remember the bit you did in the last one about your older friends dating young girls yeah but

how have you grown as a partner man oh in so many ways i mean so i i can say this like me and my ex-wife are friends right at this point we had a very honest conversation like a couple years ago like really honest and it was something i learned in therapy you know i'm saying it's like all right well you know it's things i never thought about from her perspective and vice versa and i think we're better co-parents because of that you know i mean like and i got i got a six-year-old who's not with my ex-wife which you know that's a whole nother therapy session that was always tough because you know you're dealing with somebody that was extramarital no it was just single and oh you okay so you i was

going to god i was going you broke up with your first your wife and then you were single and you got somebody yeah that's that happened that and that was tough because it was with somebody i was friends with it wasn't like some new it was somebody like literally i was really close with for years she used to be one of my best friends i don't know we got a beautiful son together. But it's like a lot of my therapy sessions is her because she puts me through the wringer sometimes. Got it, got it, got it. It is what it is. Okay, so now with your, what do you aspire to be as a partner and where do you fall short?

I aspire to be someone who listens, right? Give space and especially for, you know, dating a black woman you they want i want her to feel protected you know i'm saying so that's very important to me well i will see where do i where i fall short at uh because all of us got something that ain't fucking perfect um i think the comedian me could be so mean you know i what I mean? Like, we kind of mean. Like, comics, like, when I'm on my group text with my, like, we're saying some of the craziest shit. It's war crimes.

It is insane. Like, they're going to kick us out of Hollywood. You also said the funniest fucking thing at Montreal. There was a party or something, and you go, Neil, you know where the party is? And I was like, I don't know, man. And he goes, and you go, man, you where the party is and i was like i don't know man it's like and he goes and you go uh man you and dave are such dicks or you go you're such fucking assholes and it was so funny because i felt like the old dude

it just i it's like dude bro i've been going to parties since 1992 in cop like that but it was when you were kind of lumped me and davis dicks together fucking gave me endless joy i can't in a way i can't even explain it was like yeah i don't like that um but yeah we're all somebody was i was talking to somebody last night and she was kind of insulting me a little bit and i wanted to go like you know know, if we start this, I will, I will say, I said to somebody last year, I go, when I tell you, I had to tell my girl, we had, I remember we had a session like that. I was warning her.

I said, stop fucking talking shit with me. When I do this, it's a switch. I'm a, I'm going to go. I'm not going to remember what the fuck I say. I'm going to say crazy shit. Yeah. I said to somebody, Hey, if you insult me one more time I'm gonna say the meanest thing anyone's ever said to you and I don't even know what it is yet just know that

I'm capable of the mean and it's it'll be structured it's it's gonna be airtight structured and you're never gonna forget it you're gonna think about on your last day on earth i don't even know what it is and it wasn't even somebody i liked but it was just like stop it stop it i'm not like i i don't remember what she called it because she let it she she wouldn't stop and i had to do it and you just wrote it down on paper slipped into her no i just fucking went the fuck in because she was trying to talk shit shit. I'm like, bae, I'm the wrong one to do this with now. Yeah. And when I did it, she was just like, she couldn't stop.

She started crying and shit. And I'm like, I told you, I don't give a fuck. Like, this is a part of my weird superpower, too. Yeah. You know, and you just unleashed this shit. I didn't want to put this shit on you. Everybody else, whatever. A heck of a coup.

Not the person I love, but you fucking with me. I told you to stop. And she has never, she learned. I remember her telling me, she's like, real, one thing I learned. I said, nah, I ain't going to fuck with him like that no more. Because everybody be talking shit. Like, you just, you're around okay shit talkers. Yeah.

Okay. Like your girl, your funniest person, whatever. I know some of the, like when we was doing Friends of the People, I remember one time like the production, they like,

are you guys friends? Because we would give each other shit. The shit we would say was so absurdly mean. Yeah. They're like, are you guys even friends? Y'all say something to me.

Yeah. And we'll be laughing at it. Everybody's like, this motherfucker's crazy. But that is, that's part of it. It's part of it. So they're like, you don't want to do that this motherfucker's crazy. But that is, that's part of it. It's part of it. So it's like, you don't want to do that with me, man.

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And we kind of think we should be talking most of the time. Interesting. we should be talking most of the time. Interesting. Well, meaning there's that thing of writing as somebody else is talking or thinking and be like, you know what I'm going to say. And not even slam,

just kind of responding. Well, that's why I do wrong because I do that and I'm a cut off because if I think I know what you're about to say, I got to stop it. I don't want to hear it. I know what you're about to say. I don't even want to hear it. I already wrote it. I know what you're about to say. You don't know what I'm about to say i know what you're about to say i don't even want to hear i already wrote it like i know what you're about to say you don't know what i'm about to say and then they say the shit you thought it was i see you said exactly yeah and that's a that's a crazy that's a crazy thing to do too but i had to learn

to stop doing that and like what i love about danella we have once again we have very honest conversations if it's a problem with something if it's whatever we we even work because she would get really mad like man her dad was talking for like two and a half hours because i had to get his blessing and we was talking about her two and a half hours man oh black man did you have to talk him into it no he just wanted to fucking he got he was he just so like they just lost uh he lost his wife she lost her mom just literally just passed away maybe a couple weeks ago and so everybody everybody's in this space. And me, I'm tall. I mean, I told you, I'm like a young old black man.

So like, we literally talk, he told me way more than I, I just wanted this blessing. Like, yo, you know you could just add, like, I was, and somebody like, I'm doing all types, I just want the blessing, man. I'm just trying to get blessed to get the fuck out of here. So me and Sandy, her mama, when we got married, like, man, I had all the ladies.

I was like, I don't give a all the ladies uh but it was so crazy like i learned a lot about your fucking yeah almost like because i was trying to surprise her with the proposal i almost told her myself because i want to tell her about this conversation with her fucking dad yeah like man he had all types of shit to say uh but yeah you know it's because she has a main street too but like i don't care though i remember the first thing she's the first woman i've ever said hey i hear you i know you're mad but i ain't going nowhere so you can powder all you want to but i'm i'm here and i've never said that before okay did you mean it like i'm committed to you or did you mean it like you're not gonna scare me away how do you mean it like you're not going to scare me away?

How do you mean it? Both ways. You're not going to scare me away and also... She was pouting to scare you away or she was pouting to get a... Well... For you to change your mind about something.

Well, two things. It's either that or I mean, Mary talked about this. You know, one of the things she said, you know, she learned from me,

she was like, Mr. Ray, are you stretching me? It's because that's a defense mechanism for some people i think i was doing the same thing you almost break you try to break up the thing before you feel like you're gonna get really hurt so you keep self-sabotaging shit yeah you know i'm saying and so i was watching her do that and i was like well i hear you but i'm not going nowhere whatever you're saying ain't enough for us to be in this space of you being this angry that's not enough i don't know so i

ain't going nowhere so it was like you said it was it's both versions of it like hey whatever this ain't a big big deal but also i but for me it was like i knew she was the one i knew i was gonna propose to her probably like a couple months after us after we were dating i knew i was gonna propose to a probably like a couple months after us after we were dating i knew she was gonna be my wife and um but i wasn't in a rush but i knew that's how i ain't going to i just never met nobody like her before i never felt i felt seen with her i remember uh i was shooting a movie and me and a co-star i got into's such a dick and i left i was like i need a break i went to new york to see jarrod host snl i'm not gonna talk about it and the studio called me like hey man we need you we've changed the schedule we need you to come back i'm not coming back first of all i got me

work with this asshole keep changing shit and you know they was like threatening maybe to sue me and all types of shit and i was like whatever man i you know i stood my ground i was very strong or whatever and then i hung up the phone i was like what the fuck did i just do they're about to kick my black ass out of hollywood right this is it for me and i remember getting emotional about it and and she was there and what i respected about it was she didn't say anything. She just rubbed my back. And I like, once again, I told you I make crab legs. So she orders crab legs.

You know, I like crab legs. Sure, sure, sure, sure. And just ordered that for lunch for me. But what I love was, and I felt very vulnerable. And I've been in a situation where I've dated other women before. If they saw me emotional, they didn't know what to do with that shit. And she didn't do any of that. was she was just let me be in that space and you know once i got out of it she's like everything's gonna be okay it was just that casual when like be a man and

you know man up and all this other shit it was just like it's cool how did you handle the holiday shit that that particular one it would it went my way they they was just overdoing it they they knew i had i wasn't wrong about anything they knew how tough the environment has been too right and i needed that shit to finish that fucking movie and uh everything worked itself out i got a chance to see jarrah kill you know uh hosting snl and now and that was a great moment because i wanted to be there for my friend too you know everything was still happening in his world and uh that was very important to me that's still important to me that's once again that's somebody who you know once again when they set me down that was even more like that made us even more brothers like

now we we like tied at the hip so i got your back no matter what's going on or if you need my support so even with that like you know that's a part too. Like, even that was a session about my friends. Like, you know, especially when Gerard came out as gay. What? He's stupid. And it was, but it was like, it was other comics talking shit. And that bothered me so much. Like, oh, he's getting all this stuff now because he said he's gay. Oh, right.

Yeah, that's always like. It's like, get the fuck out of it. Yeah. But Gerard, so far, Gerard's like, i was really successful when everybody thought i was straight yeah i was still doing better than most of y'all yeah i was straight yeah that was the gay thing helped but it wasn't he was already doing good you know it's just it's just being honest i had a girl accused me of me and gerard being gay 11 years ago for real she a girl i was dating was like you're you and him are having a relationship i was like

he's not i'm i'm still straight and so is he i still haven't come out um he finally came out he finally gave up the ghost a year and a half ago but i'm from my cold dead hands so you've been a more dedicated like you're not sort of getting bucked off the bronco so to speak you're not like she you you're you're able to like commit i'm good and stay in it yeah and you know the thing with relationships is it you have to feel lucky not lucky like i'm so lucky but like literally self-interested. Like I'm, this is like a thing no one, I get that other people don't get and kind of be selfish about it. I don't.

It's your own selfish world. Like it doesn't, we don't have to involve nobody else in how we doing it. Yeah. It's nobody's fucking business. Yeah. And so like, I think when I was married the first time we didn't move like we took so much advice from so we was like the young couple everybody wanted to see work so everybody have all this shit to tell us and if we didn't do it this way and that fucked with us yeah you

know i'm saying and so i know once you know it's part of the conversation i have my ex-wife we talked about that uh in this relationship this is it's not that this is us yeah and i don't give a fuck what nobody else think yeah i only care about how you feel how you think and i feel more mature in that space too with her you know i'm saying like i feel way more mature and i mean i get three kids she has four daughters you know total seven kids which i love i weirdly enough i always wanted a big family i don't know why but i I have. It's part of the OG kit. The OG and watch the shows like eight is enough and shit. Yep.

Sure. It's such a cramped show. No, I remember. Courtship of Eddie's father. Come on. All right. And then so what have you been? You've tried to aspire to be a better partner and have been.

Do you feel sort of settled more than you have been in the past? Not settled in a negative way, but just like secure, stable. I feel very stable. And it's crazy. You start learning, like, this is the second half of my life. So it's like, it's just, I'm excited about it because it's going to be totally different than this first time. And so I feel stable. I feel happy.

You always seemed happy. You have sunny energy. I've had good energy, but then I didn't realize, once again, when I went to therapy, I didn't realize those moments where I was depressed i had no idea that i was what did you think it was i don't know i'm like are these just thoughts maybe or whatever i thought like no oh shit i was depressed like i could look at certain projects and be like damn i was fucking depressed at that time i ain't know it but yeah i can see that shit yeah like i can see now your skin hangs different it's it really it's on you yeah you can literally see i can see it in other people i remember there's some real shit i remember watching mike one of mike epp's old specials and i can tell when he was just in his worst time and then i saw one of his newest specials and he was fucking

glowing because he was fucking happy i'm like oh shit that's what that looks like and i can see that literally with myself like it is literally projects i'm like oh yeah i wasn't nobody knows it but i was going through it you know i watch a movie like get out and even though it's a big deal to me sometimes i look at him like i wasn't in a great headspace but i was able to perform yeah you know but i wasn't in the best place and like you know how do you think white people felt watching it what about us rel you put us in a bad space um i'm kidding guys i do comedy um and do you uh oh well no that's interesting because last time i spoke to you

in depth like this was for that jay-z thing and we were talking about white people in general where are you with white people because i thought you didn't really you like you didn't really get too upset by racial shit and it was the opposite was true yeah i that's tough man because i have my favorite white people like sure one of my favorite white people besides josh rabinowitz is uh ryan reynolds to like speak to and man he called me when we was in quarantine you know when everything was going down with george floyd yeah and we had a really honest conversation he called to check on me. And I was burying my militant shit.

So I'm like, yeah, I could do way more shit. You know, and I was just telling him stuff. And, man, to see him actually go through with a lot of stuff, I was like, oh, shit. Yeah. But he's Canadian, so. Sure. He doesn't know any better.

So, you know, but I mean, because I've worked with and met some and i'm cool like john cena's really dope you know he's a person who loves people we had we we when we did vacation friends too we was able to have some very deep conversations because we were just all in the same resort and shit so where did you guys shoot in hawaii i was there when you were shooting because i saw cena at the at the at the hotel wow and i didn't know yeah. And I didn't know your guys were shooting shit. Yeah. We were fucking shooting that damn. And we talked a lot.

And that was cool. But I do feel like, because now we're in this weird place with, which is what I love about you on here, your specials and your honesty and that shit. But white people felt bad for shit, and then now shit feels normal now. And now it's back to the...

Now where were we? Yeah. Basically, yeah. Yeah, and so even with the strike that's happening, it's like, yeah, we're going to try to get all this stuff, but black people are still fighting for certain things. It was like, okay, cool. So can have the other conversation about this shit yeah all right final two questions so you've been the things you've done that really helped yourself

mental health wise therapy huge quit drinking for a little bit your skin came back um uh and anything we didn't talk about i mean we pretty much we we hit everything i mean you you asked me a question i don't even know if i answered it like as far as like i don't know if you said actually therapy or what like when it comes to parenting did it like yeah because it has made me a better parent and i've been able to tell them that it's okay like yo and they can start young like let me know whenever you want to go to therapy you should it has made me a better parent and I've been able to tell them that it's okay. Like, yo, and they can start young. Like, let me know whenever you want to go to therapy,

you should go, you can start going now. And then like having my, my six year old, uh, is autistic. So that's been different. I had, I've had to learn a lot of patience with him.

And like, I started seeing like, you know, people look at autism a certain way. I think people who have autism a certain way i think people who have autism like way smarter than everybody else like i think they in some ways they're they're like optimized for one thing yeah and i think there's something brilliant about that and i i love that i remember danella's older daughter she would like uh here sometimes uh

harlem would just lay on the floor and she would just lay down with him and just be a part of his world and how that actually made it everything better for me oh that's what it is we're trying to make him be a part of this yeah shit when i really i should be just sitting in your world with you yeah and that'll help me figure you out a lot better and so you know that's and that's been fun it's actually like him he he glues the family together because every six-year-old yeah because everybody has to he's an athletic kid too so he just be doing all tight he'll jump off anything you know i mean so you gotta watch him do all type of shit uh but yeah everybody has to participate with just loving him and listening and observing and uh i don't know and that once again i like and that's what i'm

saying like i'm in this cool place of like nothing's perfect as life gone life yeah but i'm enjoying the way i live life like sometimes i get up in the morning like you know i love basketball and i got a basketball court at my house now and i i just by myself just getting shots up because i was doing it all the time when I was a kid like that's all I did was hoop I'll go to the park all the time and like now to do it now as an adult and just and it's so calming so I'm finding the calmness in so many small things I don't care if it's me sitting there watching a whole series yeah and talking to myself after we're like oh the Star Wars series great you know I mean like just it's just I just been sitting in my own

world even just the stuff I've been like just it's just i just been sitting in my own world even just the stuff i've been writing lately it's been just like it's just which is i'm excited about too because i think it's bleeding into even just some of the newer roles i'm taking and things like they're like i'm excited i'm taking on more dad roles and stuff you know because you know that's why i'm i wanted fucking steve martin it up like yeah it up. He be one of the father of the brides. Yeah. I'm in a cool place, and it's like being on tour again, and it's so crazy. This is the first time I've toured in a while.

This is the first time comedy's been it. Yeah. Right? You know what I mean? For a long time, I'm like, wait a minute. Comedy is just it now again. Yeah. That's all I got. Yeah.

And being on the road now is so different like i'm like way more mature like i get up i go i get a go work out i get a massage on the saturdays before the saturdays like it's just a different grown yeah yes version of how yeah i used to be like try to eat correctly yeah just like what kind of garbage is around can i walk to yeah it's just it's so crazy yeah it's like you know i don't know i'm in i'm in a cool place man and just now that you know after i proposed to her and she said she felt this too but it felt like her weight was lifted because we decided to commit for real for real you could talk about that shit but when you like nah let's do it i mean she's been smiling every single she ain't she ain't cursed me out of nothing she's been like she's

been cool dang shit um and then what if okay here's the other question is what is your dream for yourself what is your your ultimate dream for yourself? That was a two-parter. Hit it. To be a minority owner of a basketball team. Fantastic. That's a real thing to me. To the point

where hopefully I'm going to see if I can do that. I may invest into a WNBA team first. Because I love basketball. I may invest into a WNBA team first. Great. Because I love basketball. I'll go watch some 3-0s for like, I love basketball. But yeah, that's something I really want to do actually. It's so random, but like.

I mean, it takes minimum 20 million to be a minority. I know, but that's why I got to turn it up. Great. See Martin and up um and and then what's your emotional goal for yourself my emotional goal for myself is to well you know so i tied us into the wedding whenever we do it that day or whatever i want to be able to really really just take it like for real, take it all in and experience what the moment really is. Like, for real, be like, yo, this is me marrying my best friend.

Or, oh, I'm about to, like, I'm excited about, this might sound crazy, but I'm excited about taking care of her and, and her daughters. And like, I'm excited about that. You know, I'm excited about, are you generally nurturing like that? Yeah. So you do get excited about taking care of somebody.

Yeah. I like, I love that shit. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like I'm a all the way provider. I like, I enjoy that shit.

Like for real, for real. Like I'm like, I'll, you know, I'm, I'm that type of dad. I realized I'm the dad to just be sitting there like, Hey, everything good. You like i you know i'm that type of dad i realize i'm the

dad to just be sitting there like everything good you know you're watching everybody have a good time that makes me fucking happy right you know i'm saying like when all the kids are together and they just fucking they at the pool they having fun i like to just sit there and watch you know i'm saying like okay i did that shit and so with your gray beard and your toothpick hey brother and that yeah yeah once again i'm not i'm not offended i'm not offended at all i'm i'm like look at me look at this look this is this is a short set all this you should have gone with this full set if you got full black green that would have really sold it but but you got it no yeah it's nice oh yeah the hat you know what i didn't give the crap

the hat the sock fuck fuck what an oversight um yeah that makes so so that's your your goal is the emotional wellness of the people around you the emotional wellness and me to literally taking all the moments i'm talking about for everything like i had to learn that even with like movies i have coming out stuff like just embrace it i think sometimes everything felt like always work and now i'm like i just been enjoying myself yeah and i'm stressing over it and how's it being received yeah it's like dude you're a movie star like that's a that's a it's a one in a billion i mean one in 500 million people yeah it's unbelievable it's a it's it's one of i i'll tell you real quick and i remember during quarantine i had a moment where like i was watching tv and i had like three things i had like two

movies and a show just all on at the same time and i remember like and this is something i learned in therapy is talking to little kid me and i'm like talking to little kid me like oh shit you made it inside the yeah the tv like this thing that you admired that took you away from your world that gave you joy you actually are inside that motherfucking man yeah and that's crazy yeah it's insane it's it's so insane it's hard to even appreciate because it's so it's like how many comedians are there in the world out of eight billion people even having comedy specials is is especially if you love this shit and you're a fan you're like fuck it's not comprehend it's another thing that's not comprehensible i counted one time how many people have specials on netflix and if let's include hbo it's about 200 people in kind of the

history maybe it's over maybe it's 250 but out of 8 billion people what it's hard to even know what to do with it but it's it's incredible fortune you have a scrolls like i go to hbo's and i look at the other specials it's like oh my special bigger and blacker or like that's fucking crazy to me yes it's insane yes it's totally insane we're incredibly fortunate all right great talking to buddy good to see you man thanks for having me congrats on the outfit laughing music

music music music music music music music music music music music All you have to do is open, open up your hand.

Mommy.