Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Nick Kroll

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

Neal Brennan interviews Nick Kroll ('Big Mouth,' 'Kroll Show,' 'Oh Hello' + more) about the things that make him feel lonely, isolated, and like something's wrong - and how he is persevering despite these blocks. ---------------------------------------------------------- Nick's blocks: 00:00 Intro 5:12 Relationships 10:19 Avoiding Confrontation 14:36 Work Confrontation 25:31 Partnership 41:20 Marriage 43:30 Bathroom Etiquette 47:47 Rage at Baby 58:34 Can't Control Eating / Sugar 1:04:47 Skin ---------------------------------------------------------- https://nealbrennan.com for tickets to Neal's tour Brand New Neal Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81036234 Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle ---------------------------------------------------------- SPONSORS: https://seed.com/neal for 25% off your first month’s supply of Seed’s DS-01® Daily Synbiotic https://fitbod.me/neal for 25% off your membership Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, my name is Neil Brennan and I have a special on Netflix called Blocks where I talk about the things that make me feel crazy and isolated in the world. And I now have a podcast called Blocks that you're looking at and listening to where my friends come on and they tell me the things that is a comedian that I've known since 2002, I believe. Sure. What's the hierarchy of your credits? It's your show, so let's hear your perspective on it. Okay, great. I'm glad that you understand the pecking order. Yeah, because obviously my number one credit is now Blocks, a podcast based on a special where you get your friends

to give away free content for your personal benefit. It's a business model. Kroll Show, Big Mouth, Stand Up, and Oh, Hello, I would say are like the, am I forgetting anything? I mean, there's The League. Oh, yeah. And then there's a bunch of movies that have not worked great but i interesting you say kroll show one i think because that you

i think it depends on where people where you come at things so like you having had a sketch show on comedy central put kroll show on a certain level that i think many people would not think of as like in the hierarchy of what I've done as like a high point. What's most people's? I think big mouth is now the, is the number one thing for the most amount of people. Okay. I believe that. And the league for certain, a very large percentage of people is still also very, very important. That's so wild. And then I think you could argue there's Kroll show and I would even argue maybe, Oh, hello above Kroll show in certain regards, even though, Oh, hello, sort of comes out of Kroll show. I would like to say, uh, I had a sketch show that I don't talk about. Um, and, um, uh, Danny, our, uh, producer, Danny's a black gentleman.

What sketch do you think Nick Kroll pitched? You're the only person who can answer. You're the only one who can say it in the room right now. What sketch do you think that Mike Brabiglia, Nick Kroll. And the rest of my, I will say the rest of our little Georgetown improv group. Conrad Mulcahy, Brian Donovan. Mulaney? Ed Harrow. Not Mulaneyhy, Brian Donovan, and Harrow. Not Mulaney.

Mulaney, not part of the group yet. Great. Okay. Danny, what sketch do you think he pitched? I like that he's going. Yeah, go ahead. It's about a family. That is correct.

We can't say it. Guy writes material that he can't even talk about uh yes you guys pitched that sketch and uh it was very you pitched it as a we did it as like a cbs eye on america like a current day sketch and you guys very smartly turned it into like a leave it to beaver 50s sitcom which i think elevated it on a lot of levels. I had to call I don't, I generally don't name drop very much on this show, but I'm going to name drop. I had to call Questlove

and sing the theme song into his answering machine. Da-da! With the lyrics, I guess I didn't have to say the lyrics. It helped. But I always had the, it would have been funny if I just called the wrong guy in Philly, like some black dude's family.

And I'm singing the song into his answer machine. And he's like, just trying to eat dinner. That's like John Tesh calling himself with the NBA on NBC theme song. Have you heard that story? Yes. And he kept saying the N-word. That's what's so wild about it. NBC had a different...

It meant different things. So, anyhow... For the record, Danny laughed at that. Danny, are we good? Okay, thank God. You speak for all people. It's a great position to be in.

Sorry, everything. Anyhow, so I've known Nick Kroll 20 years. He's had a great career. And now we're here to mine his emotions for content. It's called Blocks, ladies and gentlemen. Nick Kroll. Well, first of all, a couple things I'd like to say about you, which is I'm interested.

Watching your last special was a boy. What's the little big boy? I was interested in seeing your emotional art because I know you, but I don't know. I mean, I know you pretty well, but I don't know like the ups and downs and everything. So it was interesting to see like the marriage thing and the kid thing. And did you feel like you were on time with that stuff with like meeting a woman?

And because I saw you have big girlfriends, like they were physical. Little big boys, but that's what it's about. Yeah. They would put you on their lap and call you a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but I saw you have like what I thought were significant relationships that were not working. And I was like, I wonder how Nick feels about this. I really set up the premise in Little Big Boy of being a late bloomer, which is really also very much the theme of so much of what's going on in Big Mouth. It's true in that like, you know, I was late to get pubes. I was late to lose my virginity. And then I was pretty late to get into serious relationships. Like I didn't really have a serious, I didn't have a serious girlfriend until I at least turned 30. I mean, I had like dated women, but I hadn't had like a very serious committed relationship. And then

really I didn't, I didn't live with a woman until the woman, Lily, who now is my wife. You still call her the woman Lily. The woman Lily, yes. Yeah, doesn't everyone call their significant other that? Yes, I think they should. And so it felt on time for me, but I feel like in general, it's a little bit behind the ball for your average person. Okay. So, but you were never insecure about it? No. When I turned 40, I was like, I remember being like, I was depressed. One, because

I had a couple of my dear friends from high school had just died of overdoses and suicide. And so I was kind of rocked by that of like, wow, I'm 40 and my friends are dying. And then on top of that, I was dating someone and dating in general, but I was like, all of a sudden was like, man, I'm 40 and I have not figured out this massive part of life, which is like, who is my partner? And then like, who is my partner who I'm going to have a family with, you know? Did you feel like you were supposed to? Yeah. I mean, I don't, I'm right now I'm of the mind of like, I don't know if I don't have a partner, I don't have a partner. Right. I think I go back and I have, I had gone back and forth

on that. Like I have a, I have still go back and forth. No, no, I'm, I'm, I'm good. I, but, but I think like, you know, I have three siblings, all of them are married. My parents are still married. All three of my siblings have four kids. So I have 12 nieces and nephews and four marriages around me. So the model is get married and procreate like that. It's very, very much there. Now you come from a ton of kids. And a lot of broken marriages. I'd almost exclusively. Your family has the most divorces per capita. I think it's the least that we could possibly have per person.

I believe. I mean, most people are divorced. Yeah, good. You guys can feel both sides of a football team at this point. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it will be a violent game. Yeah. Believe that.

So I think I was, the modeling was, I never felt, I'm the youngest. So, and you're the youngest too, right? So like, it's very different, I think 12 and four, but like the youngest, you feel this like freedom, I think more so than others to be like, fuck it, I'm not going to do what everyone else did. Like I'm not falling into like the pattern of whatever pattern my family has established. So I felt very much like that. But then I came to a point where I was like,

oh no, I think I would like to have a partner and have a family. I wasn't like, I haven't, since I was 12, I was like, oh boy, one day I'm going to have my own family. You know, I was like, since I was 12, I was like, oh boy, one day I'm going to have my own family. You know, I was like, I assume if I find the right partner that I will have a family, but it wasn't like I was like every day counting down the days until I became a father. Right. But I kind of in the back of my head was like, this will happen at some point. You did. You believe that? I kind of just assumed it would. Were you like a active uncle? Full disclosure, Neil read my pilot active uncle, Were you like an active uncle? Full disclosure, Neil read my pilot, Active Uncle,

where I am an active shooter who is an uncle who's going into... It's a horrible title. It was bad. That was my first note. Don't even get me started on... What does this mean, active uncle? You just say, I'm an uncle. But I'm an active uncle. At one point, he looks at the camera and says,

by the way, I'm an uncle. I'm an uncle, and I'm'm active and I'm an active shooter. So I'm going to your school. I'm doubling down on the active shooter. You tried to push through it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I came back around. Kind of a tender time.

Yeah. Go ahead. So anyway, I was an active uncle, but I lived across the country. My whole family lives in New York. So it was like, I'm engaged, but also, you know, you're in for a couple hours and then you're out. I don't know if that's how you,

you know, it's like, so I might not, I didn't even last an hour a lot of time. Go ahead. So, so I, I, I eventually like found the right person and, and, and, and went for it. Your wife seems excellent and is a beautiful looking woman. Like, just like, oh, you're beautiful. Like, fuck, you're beautiful. She's beautiful and she makes beautiful art. And she's a beautiful person. She's a good person.

And I called that she, it was your backdrop on your special was her idea. Yes. And it was, at one point, matches your lips perfectly. Really? I don't know if I sent it to you Your lips are purple It's the perfect lip It was so goddamn funny

We didn't tone the color specific to my lips I was running out of oxygen on stage Oh, that's cool Yeah Okay, so let's get into some blocks Avoiding confrontation This is a common thread on the show. Yeah.

At least half of our guests have had it as a... Sebastian had it. Bobby Lee had it. I definitely have it. Tell me about how you avoid confrontation. And when did you realize like, I have to stop doing this? I think my family is like a very nice family. We're all very nice to each other. That in many ways is beautiful, but it also means we don't directly deal with confrontation. We just like either ignore it or we wiggle around it with little jokes or like in my case with a lot of people and a lot of things, I just sort of like roll over and fucking show my belly. And I'm just like, fine, like whatever you want is okay.

How long does that last? There's a tipping point. There's different versions of how one avoid, what kind of confrontation we're talking about. Like, for example, like I'll go to the airport and let's say I can like, you know, with my American Express, I should be able to get into the fucking Delta

first-class lounge. Right. But I don't have my American Express. Right. And I get to the Delta first-class lounge, the Delta lounge. And they're like, you need the American Express card. And it's like, well, I'm in your system. And they're like, you need the card. Yeah. At that point I say, okay, thank you. Have a nice day. And I walk away. My wife is like- I wouldn't even try. You wouldn't even- I know what's going to happen. They're just going to say you're not in the system. Right.

And I'm going to be embarrassed in front of everybody. So I'm not going to do that to myself. Yes. I will do something very minor, minutely push back. Yeah. And then I'm like, fair enough. I'll fucking go to Chili's too. Which is where I want to go to be,

you know what I mean? And I think what I've come to in this regard is, and watch how I do this, watch how I flip this. I think like as a white straight guy. Danny, is that true? Is he a white straight guy? Go ahead. We'll find out. Right after this. As a straight white guy comes from tremendous privilege, like, it's hard for me to, like, put my foot down to say, like, I deserve more. Like, because I'm, like,

in the grand scheme of things. Yeah, yeah. I've been given everything. You're already in the VIP room. So am I really going to fucking fight you on, like, whether I can get into this lounge or not? Like,

many more people have many bigger grievances. Also, the lounge is basically a Radisson. What's the one where they have cereal? They give you cereal? The lounge or the hotel? Embassy Suites. Embassy Suites. It's an Embassy Suites room.

Meanwhile, now a lot of airports have like decent restaurants in them. But instead, you're like, no, I'm going to sit in the lounge with like a weird businessman. Yeah. From Dallas. Many, many, all weird businessmen. All on IBM ThinkPads. Yes. Which you don't even have where they got them. Yeah. They're still using the eraser mouse in the middle of the keyboard. 40 pound computers. Yes. They're using a 40-pound computer eating so much wildly salty Chex Mix. Correct. From like a big plastic dispenser and like cucumber water.

Yeah, that's correct. You're like, that's where I'm trying to fight my way to get in. Fuck you, get your hands off me. I need those Chex Mix, you bitch. Yeah, so I, or like the coldest cube of fruit you've ever seen. Yep, also true. So in that regard, I will not deal with confrontation. Now with my-

Interpersonally, I'm interested. Interpersonally, so there's like the base, like bullshit, whatever. But in general, I'm like this, I will just finish by saying that. I think some of my lack of desire for confrontation comes if I'm trying to put a positive spin on it as a feeling of empathy a

sense of empathy for the other so like the woman at the dallas airport who does not want to let me into the delta lounge i'm like this woman's just doing her fucking job yeah no like if she lets me in and there's some camera that's seeing that i never presented my american express card she's gonna get written up. I don't want this woman to get, what am I, what do I fucking really care? I'm leaving. Then there's the inner, there's the work version of things, which is. I need to hit work and personal relationships. Yes.

So in work, I want everyone to like me. I want people to think I'm easygoing. I want people to think that I'm a pleasure to work with. Is it true or you want people to think I'm easygoing. I want people to think that I'm a pleasure to work with. Is it true or you want people to think it? Both. I want people to think it so I make it true. Like when you go and scout a location as a producer or director and you walk into a room and the set designer is like, this is where we're shooting the podcast, the tape podcast where Neil does his podcast where he makes his friends talk about their deepest things and they don't get shit out of it except a fucking clip on Instagram. That's the sketch. Well worth it.

That's the scene in the movie. You're right. It is an uneven trade for me. Go ahead. So, by the way, I'm like, I hate confrontation. And yet I just keep going at you. But to me, that is how I also deal with confrontation. Passive-adversive jokes.

Yes. Great. But at least that's in a specific situation where I'm like, no, I can go at you directly about this. Because you don't care and I don't care. Right. So, but I think like- Crying myself to sleep tonight.

Go ahead. Yeah, but that's not my fault. That's because you ate fucking cheese or something. You vegan loser. So I think like, so in this case, like if we came in here to scout this room and our set designer was like, these walls don't work.

I'm like, why? It's like, well, because we got red couches and we can't have the red couches with the blue walls. I'd be like, okay, let's find another room versus me being like, fucking paint the walls. Yeah. Like, and there are times where I wish I was like, paint the walls.

And there are other times where I'm like, huh, okay, we got the couches already. What's the now room next door look like? It's five feet smaller, but the walls are the right color. I don't care that much. Let's shoot in the now room next door look like it's five feet smaller but the walls are the right color i don't care that much let's shoot in the other room i want her to like me i want less conflict and i'm also like what will make for the most the easiest day for everybody energetically energetic not you don't you will put the day ahead of the material if need be oftentimes i will

because i believe on some level with the work sometimes the energy is more important than the material you want to guess which one i do i have a feeling do you want to guess i had a guy one i'm just remembering as you tell this story we're location scouting i believe it's on chapelle show it might've been on half bake. This is how long it is. Well, in the East village, we're looking at a, at, at like buildings. We're outside.

And the super is talking. And this, the super looks at me and is like, no, I don't like this guy. That's how good my energy was that a super on site was like, he cannot shoot here. I wasn't even doing anything that bad.

I was just so energetically bad. And, uh, I want people on set to think I'm a good guy also. And I do nothing to, um, to make them think that that would be the worst. You are in a prison in that I will do everything in my power to do.

Like you will in your head, want everybody to like you, but then your actions do not belie that oh that's a because but what am i still don't know that's a block look and that friend is a block look cox i'm not doing your podcast you're doing mine um but i don't know what to do it happened like days ago where I needed a shot to be a certain way. And I couldn't convince. I wasn't the director.

And I was trying to get the director to like, please do it. Running out of light, all the shit. Everyone just ended up not liking me. But I got the shot correct. Yes. And like the comedy will be better. Uh-huh. Which is, I guess, good. I guess it's like, I guess I'm always like, will the comedy will be better. Uh-huh. Which is, I guess, good.

I guess it's like, will, I guess I'm always like, will the comedy be better? Yes. Okay. I mean, I'm also not, I don't start out as a director. I think if you start as a director or you, I know you didn't, I mean, you started as a writer, but aspired and then became a director. There is a certain thing with directors where they are like, this is how I want it. Well, I just know from doing Half-Baked, hold for applause, doing Half-Baked,

Still holding for someone to applaud. Danny, don't give me a standing ovation. No one can see it. We shot the movie, and then we're 23, and then the editor was a very famous, had done Liar Liar. Martin Scorsese. Rocky. He had, had done Liar Liar. Martin Scorsese.

Rocky. He'd done Rocky and Liar Liar. And he did a cut that wasn't right. So I had to sit with the guy, this like adult, you know, gold-plated editor and correct, basically do what I thought it should be right at the first screening he looks at me and dave and goes and this is direct quotes of please he goes well i guess you guys aren't retarded so i'm used to like having to make an enemy like that guy hated my guts

and i just had to like i guess it's just part of like doing it the way you need it to be done is that no one's going to listen to you. I, I wish I was more mild mannered or had a better bedside manner than you. I bet that like you, I think it's a, it's a more than anything. It's a bedside manner of like,

it's also just like choosing your battles inside of things, but I, all of them. And, and those are the battles. I choose all of them. What battles do I choose? All of them. And, and those are the battles. I choose all of them. What battles do I choose? All of them.

Hi, I'm Neil Brennan. Welcome back to blocks. Um, battle box. Is it too late? Comedy central. Um,

on a day to day basis, I will let certain things go. Cause I'm like energetically this day works better. If we don't have to start two hours late because I forced this woman to paint this room. I don't care. Maybe the next room is a little smaller. It's fine. That stuff is fine. But I have been in situations where I have let too many decisions go for too long, let too many decisions go for too long. And I then begin to resent the person who I have acquiesced to. And also given them the sense, like, I believe in really giving people ownership over things that I am working on with them. But at times I then give away almost too much ownership and they feel

as though it's theirs. When in reality, in the back of my head i'm like no no no it's mine i'm living in between those two things of wanting to be democratic and also knowing if i'm democratic to i'm gonna get pummeled like i mean they've got pummeled for three years about half-Baked. Like, it's successful knowledge. It was not good for our careers until Chappelle. So it was like, then when we did the show, it was like, no, no, no. Every fabric comes through me or him. Right. Every sketch idea.

Like, everything had to come through us because of the experience of like, yeah, whatever, whatever, whatever. And then whatever, whatever yourself to a position that you have a thing. You don't. And I think that that's, I mean, there's also just like a sense of, you know, when, when things happen for you and how they happen. So like you guys were kids when, when that movie gets made, like I don't get close to making a movie or frankly making a TV show until I'm almost 10 years in. Yeah. We made some little shorts on our own,

you know, for like, and you know, Comedy Central Motherload. Shout out to Motherload. I mean, right. Shout out to Viacom in general.

What are they still called Viacom? Paramount Plus. Paramount Plus. So I like, I don't come close to making my own TV show for almost yeah almost 10 years into my career yeah

so at that point I wasn't like I hadn't been burned at 22 with like I had a movie got made and I didn't get to control it at all so now I have to go in

and control yeah nor did I have something like meteoric like Chappelle show to then have to like figure out how to navigate inside of that success and then what happens after that i've had it rough by the way what happened man what happened to chapelle show it's still on we still do really congratulations

congratulations everyone we're gonna reboot oh my god hey so this company Seed is sponsoring this episode. It's a symbiotic. It's prebiotic and probiotic. Take a first thing in the morning. I've taken it, I don't know, probably two weeks now. I hadn't read the ad and I was just eating the pills. And then I was like, I don't know how I'm going to talk about this because it helped me in what we'll refer to as private ways. I don't like talking about number two, not a big number two comedy guy, never was. I'll say this for Seed, the pills that I've been taking. They've made my toilet journeys more regular. How's that for for euphemistic?

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You and John are partners. Mm-hmm. And I wonder how you navigate. You and John Mulaney did Oh Hello together. Mm-hmm. I don't think we're in similar positions, but, like, they're both very funny people. Mm-hmm. Dave and, but they're both very funny people. Dave and John are both very, very funny people.

I mean, look. Which camera are you looking at? That one? I'm going to look at this one. Dave Chappelle and John Mulaney. Yes. I just want to make sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How do you... That's who we're talking about. I got to say, I'm not very competitive with dave comedically i'm competitive with him ideologically how do you navigate your relationship with john well when john left for africa after oh hello that's the name of the rehab he went to yeah god damn it melanie told me that you said Mulaney's not you said because Kroll one time was on a

podcast and he said Mulaney's not a drug addict he's more a suicidal alcoholic I said that? yeah I would never say that you said it and he heard it and told me

I would never say suicidal alcoholic those were never the issues oh great okay but what did you find by the way if you want to hear about John and say suicide alcoholic. Those were never the issues. Oh, great. Okay, but what did you find? By the way, if you want to hear about John and how, you know, how I talked

to him, you can listen to his stand-up act to find out how John felt about my... Ladies and gentlemen, you can't wait till he goes after Kroll for trying to save his life. The mistake of trying to save his life. Yeah. Or the of trying to save his life. Yeah. Or the early, by the way,

the early pre-edited versions of the hour when it was the two-hour fresh out of rehab version of it. Oh, I think that's the only one I've heard. Oh, yeah. Mulaney goes through, in his new hour, goes through his intervention. And it's kind of a roast of everyone who saved his life. And it's very funny.

Unless you were there on the day. Unless you were one of the people there or one of the people who then had to listen to the act. Yep. It was very funny. But you audience members, you have fun. You have a great time. Yeah.

Go check out John on tour from scratch. From scratch. I don't know if this is how your relationship with dave is or was but like you know i i'm a few years older than john he was a freshman when i was a senior i cast him in the improv group yeah but i immediately knew he was a fucking genius and we got along famously right away and have always gotten along both as friends and as comedic partners or collaborators. Yeah, I've never heard either of you shit on the other one in either category. Well, you should go watch his act.

No, I'm gonna, I can't. Other than, of course, John's new, that will be on Netflix very soon, I'm sure. Or watch, or re-watch what I just did about John two minutes ago. We, I think, have tremendous respect for each other comedically and true and genuine love for each other as,

as human beings, as friends. And frankly, almost, and this is where I'm getting to almost as brothers. And once you become like brothers or family, things get a little trickier. It's not, and I don't know how this was for you and Dave, but it's like, it's different than just like another friend in common. Yeah. Like when you, especially when you do something like you make a show together or you do like, oh, hello on Broadway together, like whatever it is, it brings you closer than just friendship. And all of a sudden you can start to treat each other more like family and which means that the gloves are off a little bit and the competition or whatever it is that you're feeling.

I mean, I have always felt, to be honest, competitive with John because I've never been in a room where anybody got bigger laughs than John. I've only been in like three rooms.

No, but he crushed every time. Yeah. But I mean, you know, you've seen everyone. You know, he is,

arguably, we're talking about Dave and John. Both in the top five, ten. top 40 comedians whatever, top 40 comedians working comedians on the road right now yeah, top 40, vultures

top 40 comedians of 2008 doing dates on the east coast this weekend, but you know, I mean it is like John is uncontrollable un unrelentingly funny. Yes.

And writes a perfect joke. Yep. And delivered, not only writes a perfect joke, but delivers a joke perfectly. And has a almost, let's call it a photographic memory, so it can write a joke

and then deliver it. Literally, I believe he does have a photograph. And can remember what he wrote perfectly on stage the next day, whereas i am fumbling my way through something i improvised a week ago and hoping i can re-catch whatever that was so i have feelings of competition with john but i also think like when we were doing oh hello that also made me be better every night and part of the joy i saw once was so fucking funny and there's so many jokes in it that i still like are still with me and there were so many moments that were so impressive

you guys laying on the stage trying to make each other laugh is like the night i saw it i'm sure it was around as good that or you know it was very good the night i saw it actually i believe i saw it matinee but but i often wonder do you worry like overshadow like i get overshadowed by david it's like it's not close like he fucking plucked me out of obscurity to work with him and then i've slowly like built up a career of my own whereas you and john were like together and he's a fucking doing arenas and not like you handle it well you were you seem genuinely proud of him i am genuinely proud of him and i think if you talk to him there are elements to the career that i have that he would be like oh man he's been able to do this and this like that he it has not been you had three tv shows yeah so i think like but i think that successfully there are those elements to when it when it's your friend or

your brother or whatever however you feel or think about that person that you can be i can hold those things simultaneously first and foremost i have an incredible amount of pride in in what he's accomplished and the fact that i'm like friends with him that he's friends with me that he considers me someone he wants to work with all those things like bring me a lot of joy yeah and and uh i'm proud of him and i'm proud to be associated with him and then there are times where i'm like man that fucking guy kills and he's playing arenas and and also like man like steve martin thinks he's the funniest or whatever those things are and then also you know i think like i have incredible amount of

uh you know pride in what i've accomplished on my own you know and i think something that you might identify with too is like that feeling of like, is anything I do on my own going to be as good as what we did together? Yeah. And I don't have that. Never been a problem. Never, never, never, never. So I never even thought of it. So I think there's that element that, that you have to sort of take into account. And, but also like, I think about Oh Hello specifically as like a pinnacle in like both of artistic and life, the crux of, of those things coming together. Yeah. Where it was like, we're on Broadway together every night. We are having incredible guests come and watch the show, come be on the show.

And it started. You guys did a show. That's where we met 20 years ago on the East Village place called Rafifi where you guys would do it. So that's also like part of the story.

Yeah. It's like, that's really cute and sweet. It's like starts when we're, we have nothing. Neither of us

have anything going on. It was just the most fun thing that we could do. It's the thing I'll mention at Rafifi, this is 2004. I did a, I was on the show and Rashida Jones came with me, and we told stories.

You brought your BET award. That's correct. I brought my BET award. I don't remember why, but I did. I did. You both brought things to talk about. Right, right, right. So I brought my BET award.

I was carrying it everywhere at that point. My BET comedy award. They canceled it because a white man won three of them. Let's be honest, BET. And they didn't like it.

No one's happy. No. And, or two of them. And I remember Who's counting? Rashida brought a stuffed animal with a voice,

like a cassette tape message from her father. Teddy Ruxpin? Yeah. Who was the message from? From her dad. From her dad, yeah, that's right. And he, if I remember correctly, go ahead, but he said, it's Quincy Jones saying to Rashida,

may you get all the angel pussy in the world. I believe he said, keep your dreams as high as giraffe pussy. I believe that's the exact okay hey baby thank you it's quincy joe that's a horrible impression anyhow rashida mentioned that she was single afterward you texted her something like hey you or you maybe asked her like would you want to go on a date and the idea of rashida dating you was so absurd it was like

what are you talking about and this before she before she was on The Office. She was just like a beautiful young woman and you were a, I'd consider it a beautiful young man. And it was absurd. So that's how much time has passed. Anyhow, so you and Mulaney are doing Rafiki, you're doing

Basley Oh Hello at Rafiki 20 years ago. And then, so you do this tiny thing and then it's on broadway every night yeah crushing for 2 000 people or so fun and it was and i really felt like this perfect symbiosis of like working with your friend doing very silly shit but in on broadway and it was like what a life what a lifestyle that was to like, not be on the road, but be on stage every night for like, yeah, like 2000 people for four or five months. And it was the best. It was the most fun.

And what's hard with friendship as time goes on and life changes is like, you're like, he's on the road. I'm on the road. He's got a kid. I've got like you all of a sudden time gets away from you and space gets away from you. And it's harder to just be physically in the same spaces. And men are not great at maintaining those relationships in a certain way. Would you agree with that?

I'd say in every way. And part of the reason why I like doing this, cause like now I don't have to see it for a couple of years. We're done. Knock this thing out. Fucking nailed it. Yeah. Yeah.

So it's a fun time. It's, you will never spend that much time with Mulaney again. I mean, I don't think so. I have bad news. No, he told me.

He literally texted me on the way over here. I will never spend time with him like that again. And you can take that to the grave. He said, no, but you know what I mean? Like, that's the fun of doing a thing like it.

Well, and it makes you be like, how can I appreciate? And I did feel by the end of that run, I was like, this might be the best it gets. Like every, the, the, the combination of things around this moment in time might be, might make this the, like, and I, I was sort of aware of it near the end. And that's the nice thing about your, just going back to the beginning of like, the older you get, the more perspective you have on things. So that like, you know, when you have a show and you're 23

or you're in a good relationship when you're 25 or whatever, you don't know, you don't have enough life experience to know that this is as good as it gets. Yeah. Except when you're watching the movie as good as it gets. And then, you know, it's as good as it gets. Yeah. Except when you're watching the movie as good as it gets and then you know it's as good as it gets. Well, because it's in the title.

It's as good as it gets watching Jack Nicholson handle bacon out of a plastic bag. Somebody's pretty well-versed in as good as it gets. Yeah. And I would like to say that I'm... My competitiveness with...

Because I shouldn't say I'm not competitive comedically. He said I'm the most competitive person he's ever met. And I said, that's because you can't say I'm not competitive comedically. He said I'm the most competitive person he's ever met. And I said, that's because you can't meet yourself. But I would want to get shit on because I wanted to contribute. Do you know what I mean? I didn't want to be dead weight.

So I also wanted to impress him. That's the part of a partnership that I think no one is like, people aren't aware of it. It's like, you want to impress Mulaney. Yeah. He wants, if he makes you laugh,

it's funny. If I make Dave Chappelle laugh, it's probably fucking pretty funny. Yeah, for sure. Or, or mean, right.

Which I think that we all share as comedians. Yes. Yeah. What we, what makes us laugh isn't necessarily what is. So much meaner. Yeah, yeah. Someone said yesterday,

I texted somebody and they go, this reminds me to erase this thread. Anyhow. So that's confrontation. I'm going to bring it back. No, but how did you deal with John? How would you guys handle that? For much of our relationship,

we didn't have much conflict. And then I think you hit a certain point, the older I get and the more frankly the more therapy i get and the more podcasts i do about being therapized i get to do uh for free um what do you want name of name your price i want i want a ph balance water you got it well there we go the older i get the more therapy i do the more that i'm like oh man my that element of my friendship with this person is bumming me out and i have to eventually be like hey can we talk about this it doesn't i try not to do it a lot because it's a it's it people love it and it seems it's a you seem not cool and you don't seem manly

to be like hey you're hurting my feelings i know but if you really value a friendship then you have to sometimes be like dude you're fucking bumming me out man yeah and certain people are better at taking that and other people are not. But the truth is the people I hold dearest are sometimes the people who aren't always aware of what they're doing. And they get used to being able to do it. Yes. But they're also hopefully the people who are like, I hear you. I will work on that. Yeah. are like, I hear you. I will work on that. You know, I think it's like, as we talk about

confrontation and therapy, it's like, what, what, what I think I have found is like the less that you're like, you did this and you did that. And the more it's like, Hey, like when you did this, it made me feel like that. Right. Like, cause all you can really control is your truth, which is like, that's how this made me feel versus like you did this shitty thing. I truly don't know how to navigate it. And I say that as an old man. I do not know how to find the spot between your needs and your experience and my needs and my experience. the spot between your needs and your experience and my needs my experience even the other day where i'm yelling i'm on set i'm like oh like i have like you know i'm having like a you can feel

a rage attack it's not even a it's more like a asperger's in my body autistic reaction to a shot not being right right i don't know how to navigate it i don don't know how, like, I have my needs. I talked to somebody the other day and I had a list of things that I needed to express to them. Did you do it? Yeah. Did that help? I mean, yeah, but I haven't heard from them. Since then? Yeah. But I felt the need to say, here's my point of view And I know what your point of view most likely is.

And I don't know how to negotiate. Did you have that as a conversation or were you just like, here's what I need to tell you? Combo of both. Yeah. Yeah. Combination of both. And I don't know. Your most successful relationship would be your marriage, right?

Meaning most harmonious and best. Yeah. But not because the stakes are incredibly high at all times. Whereas I can not talk to Mulaney for a month and we can work through our shit then or another friend. Whereas me and my wife can have a fight and then we have to get in bed and like deal with our child in the morning or whatever it is like the the the stakes feel so much higher in my my my relationship with my wife than any of my friends yeah uh that probably puts your friendships in better perspective too right once you have like oh this is a real relationship the rest of this is just like yes and and also but but it has made me then be like oh i need to like rethink this friendship or i need to talk to him because there's things i think when you then it's one of the nice things about having a partner for the most part it's like sometimes you have

someone to process your thing with where you're like hey so-and-so is like fucking blew me off again and they're and my wife could be like yeah that's like the third time that person's done that to you like maybe you want to like have a conversation with them about how that's making you feel. Cause you keep talking about it. You're like, I'm like, uh, okay. You know, versus before the relationship, I'd have just been like, that's how they are. How do you resolve conflict with your wife? Various ways. Uh, fights. And do you, are you better? Have you improved at like, look, I know where you're, you know, do you, are you good at like compliment sandwiching? And are you, are you good at any of it? Well, that's where I'm like, I'd be start to

be like, this is how this is making me feel because, And that's something I've worked on in therapy because I don't like confrontation. There are times where I just will, I will be like, I hear what you're saying and I won't say what my point of view inside of it is because I want harmony. But I think ultimately, if you let that build, then resentment builds.

And you have to release that valve. Yeah. And also, sometimes I'm more just reactive. How I want my bathroom. It's like, I want bath mats. I don't like wet floors in the bathroom. And I want towels hung back up so that they dry correctly. It makes me crazy when people don't do that. Yeah. And I will like say to my

wife, like, Hey, you know, but then I will like, and then you realize like, Oh, everybody's family's different. Like some people like hang shit on doors or hanging in the bathroom or like, don't, you know, and you have to find this level of like, am I going to get enraged by this or am I going to let this go? Yeah. Or do, am I just to get enraged by this or am I going to let this go? Yeah. Or do, am I just going to acknowledge she's never doing that?

And it's just like, we just come from different families. Yeah. Or like we look, we are thinking about different things. Just like there are multiple things that I do in the house that make her fucking insane.

And have you guys stopped even acknowledging them? Like, yeah, it's fucking, I mean, usually it's like things will come up where it's like, I let stuff pile up. I can look at things for months slash years in the house and never address them. Why would you? Yeah. And every once in a while she'll do like a big old clean and she'll just like take all my shit and like dump it on my desk. And I'm like, can you not dump it on my desk? And she's like, you don't clean anything up. And I'm like, put the towels away.

You know what I mean? Like it'll come out in that like weird, like, like those bursts, which is not the healthiest way for me to deal with it. You know, but like, you know, that's what marriage is like. It's this constant like negotiation negotiation whatever relationship you're in you know and that's still the best that's the thing it's like none of these relationships are flawless or without challenge or without i think so like it's not all harmony you just have to figure out you just have to choose what are the things that are massively important that you need to deal with them what are the things that are like you just accept that this is how this person

is i think you can hope that what you want to see, at least in what I think what one wants to see in a relationship is that when one brings up an issue they have with their partner, big or small, that you see that the partner is trying to work at it. Like you're never going to get someone to be like 100% of what you think or want them to be. But if you see them attempting to like take the note and work on it, big and small, then that's the sign of like a relationship that to me is like working and evolving. Yeah. It's just very, it's hard not to take it personally.

Yes. Because it's personal. Well, it's personal to you. But she's not allowing slippery floors to spite her husband. No, it's the last thing. Maybe he'll slip. Yeah, that's the last thing she wants to do. But I think when you're working on elements of yourself in regards to your relationship,

part of that is the central thing about being in relationship is just thinking about the other person, you know, like just taking in their experience into account, whether it's a wet floor or when you're like sharing your schedule for the month, like, or like who's going to take care of the child tomorrow. There are things that are big and small, but they're signs of you are thinking about the other person in your relationship the way you think about yourself. Yeah, and which is really hard to do

because for 40 years, you only thought about yourself. Sure. And now it's like, wait, what? Who? You're right. My wife. Lily. When was the last time you lived with someone?

Seven years, six years ago. It went all right. I had to rent an office because it was a loft and there were no doors and I wouldn't talk on the phone much but I would every once in a while so it would just be me talking on the phone

and like once a week more than once a week I'm going to name it again it was always Chrisris rock would call me and we would just yell at each other for an hour about and one time she said a hilarious thing because we would talk about girls a lot one time she goes uh i hung up and she goes why do you guys even date women which is very fun uh but didn't work okay this is a good one a good block rage at baby i i love it already i don't even know what it means rage at baby well when my child was really

young he's like two but when when my baby was like i don't know any under a year they cry uncontrollably multiple times a day and i felt a bizarre rage at like that i couldn't i'd feel like i would feel that, you know, you're just like, Oh my God. Like, it's like,

I did this joke for a second on stage. And then I found out that Nate Bergazzi had a version of this joke. So I stopped doing it, but it was like, I don't think he's good. Uh, he's not, he's not,

he's a good comedian, but he's listening to this podcast. No, he's supposed, he's coming on. Yeah. He, a very funny guy, but it was, someone told me after I got off stage, I was like, No, he's coming on. Yeah. A very funny guy.

But someone told me after I got off stage, I was like, oh, Nate does a joke like that. Would you do a Southern accent? Yeah. Sleepy Southern accent. I remember living in New York and seeing those, remember those posters on the subway that said, like, never shake a baby?

Don't shake a baby, yeah. I was like, who is that poster for? I was like, oh, it turns out it was a poster for me in the future. Like, because you would feel this. You wouldn't have known not to do it. Yes, exactly. Oh, thank you, the past. But I all of a sudden be like holding my baby like, wait, what was that poster on the subway again?

I was like, I feel rage. I feel such rage that this like tiny creature is screaming at me uncontrollably. And I've talked to my wife about it. And she was like, I don't think you're used to anybody yelling at you. And I was like, wow. Yeah, because I come from tremendous, like a nice family. And also like I've always been in a very Position of privilege. So it's very rare that people have yelled at me Like I also do my best not to get people angry so they don't yell at me

Really the only person At for a certain period of time was yelling at me was my six-month-old child and I it was unfathomable to me. And it put me into a almost blind rage. I'm laughing at... Now I'm like, oh, well, I could be a parent because I'm so used to people yelling at me and vice versa. I've had girls go, stop yelling. I'm like, I don't even know what you're talking. I'm just talking. Right. So like yelling, what most people call yelling, it's actually a, this scene, I'm going to seem like a dinosaur. One time Rosie O'Donnell was on Bill O'Reilly's talk show.

I don't know how this happened. And I happened to watch it. It was probably in the early, mid nineties. And he's like, Rosie, why do you think people don't like me? And she goes, Bill, because we're from Long Island, and we're used to yelling at people, and to everyone else, it's off-putting. But to us, it's just talking.

So I'm with your baby on that. Me, Bill O'Reilly, Rosie O'Donnell, and your baby. And all of Israel. And all of Israel. It doesn't just end at Israel. But I think it's like, I just was like, it was that.

And really it was clarifying to me being like, Oh yeah, I'm just not used to this. I'm not used to someone. I'm not used to someone dealing with someone so deeply illogical as a child, as a baby. And, and I think it,

it has caused me to take a step back, learn how to breathe through things, and also just accept that things and people are going to yell at me. And that there's going to be, there's no reasoning or smoothing out this conflict by acquiescing on the color of the room or making a little joke or whatever. there's just no two ways around it i just you just have to take it you know yeah that's funny because i'm of two minds obviously like i'm of like i'm used to people yelling at me and i want to fight fire with fire i really want to i i guess i would shake the baby i i didn't shake the baby but i

know i don't think you should no but i but i i have screamed back a few times now like and he like does it work once or twice it's shocked you gotta shock a baby every now and again you know that yeah yeah you know that box my man blocks um but like it'll stun them but also like there's something of like and again there's this thing around like what kind of father do i want to be what kind of man do i want to be and i think in modern in many modern instances like we are told to be thoughtful and empathetic and like we need to be less like kind of inherently masculine traits of like in, in how we parent and how we partner and all those things. And I, and I believe that.

And imagine if I just started taking like a weird, like Andrew Tate turn on all of this, which would be awesome. Um, the beginning, this is, this is the seed of it all. It has to be on a podcast. Yeah. But I think like I started, I started to be like, no, it's okay every once in a while for your kid to hear you fucking scream. Or for your kid to feel like, oh, I'm a little scared of my dad. Yeah.

Like that's okay. Having never had a kid, I don't. That you acknowledge. Right. I've got three kids, but they're never going to get a dime out of me. Do you understand me? Yeah. I'll see you in court, little guy.

There is something to the dad being the dad, like being an authority figure that like you're, I don't think you should be terrified of your dad, but you should be respectful of your dad. Yeah. And I think that's, and I'm slowly being like, but you should be respectful of your dad. Yeah. And I think that's, and I'm slowly being like, that's okay.

I mean, I'm not like, I'm not like, so I'm fucking screaming at my kid all day, every day. But like, but I think like a little bit of like, no,

I'm the dad and that's, you know, that's your mom. And like, Sebastian was saying he yells at his kids. No, not a lot. But just like a little bit.

He's like, they're very nice kids, but every once in a while you got to yell at them and like, yeah, you got to like, yeah. Well, and I,

and I think it's a fear of like, you know, of like, you don't want to raise like a little fucking rich prick. So like, but again, there's a difference between like a sentient, sentient child

who is like, understands the world and a six month old who is a blob that happens to be a human. Right. Like who doesn't truly- Who's expressing an emotion,

doesn't know what an emotion is, isn't going to remember this, doesn't know what's happening. Correct. There's a difference between that six month old and like a three year, doesn't know what's happening. Correct. There's a difference between that six-month-old and a three-year-old who continues to punch kids. There's a distinction to be made there. There's nothing that that six-month-old had any sense of anything that they were doing, whether it was right or wrong. They had no sense.

no they had no sense so like but that's what that's what made the rage so like it wasn't like justifiable of like hey you're five and you keep pouring kool-aid on the white carpet even though we've told you three times that that kool-aid is very special and that is to end all of our lives together in jonestown fuck i, I didn't know where you were going. I thought you made a mistake. And you just learned like you can't. You rational minded your way through it. I felt rage and expressed rage and then felt tremendous guilt about it because I was like screaming or so mad at a tiny infant that had no sense of anything.

And did your wife express this to you? Or was she like, look, man, I get it also. We just have to get through this period. A little bit of all of it. I mean, she understood it because it was frustrating, but she was more like, you know, she is a woman of color. And so she's like, I have been yelled at a lot. So I'm used to people yelling at me.

Who was yelling at her? Who is she talking about? The world or her family? Various people. Various people. Like, I think, you know, the world. Yeah. She was more used to it.

And it's like, for me, it was a very foreign thing i hope she apologized to the to your kid when she just went i'm sorry like all like all good women do when they're being yelled at it's just apologize no i was like i gotta apologize to this kid well that's when you said that thing of like feeling guilty i feel like if i were a parent i would vacillate between feeling guilty and feeling like fuck them you. You got to deal with it, kid. I'll pay for your therapy. I just made the decision. It was a mistake. Fuck it. I can't apologize. That's the great navigation of life. It's like, how do you try to create clear messaging for your child and your family and also admit when you're wrong? But it's like being on stage. It's like all the audience wants to know is that you're in charge.

Right. And I think kids on some level want that same feeling of like, okay, mom is in charge. Dad is in charge. Like everything's going to be okay. Yeah. I remember like when we started or when I started and you were doing those shows, we were doing like little bar shows. And then I was doing like bringer shows at like Gotham or the Boston.

And my parents would come, my friends would come, family would come and they would watch. And even at the open mics and shit, they'd watch people get on stage and be like, I felt bad for that one guy. And I was like, Oh,

that guy lost as soon as he got on stage. Cause he didn't seem in control. All the audience. That was the first, like before I'm, whether I was like, oh, that guy lost as soon as he got on stage because he didn't seem in control. All the audience, that was the first, like, before, whether I'm funny or not, I'm going to get on stage and the audience is going to feel like, okay, we don't have to worry about this person. And I think parenting is very similar in that regard. I had the greatest heckle

at me of all time. There was a club on the Lower East Side of New York and it was probably 2007 or eight. And I did a spot and it was like, it was late and it was like a very mixed crowd, like a lot of young,

like Puerto Rican, New Yorkie kids. And I get on stage and one of them goes, it was one of those things where only I could really hear him. And he goes, yo, are you scared? And I was.

Yeah. And it was such a devastating heckle. That's so funny. Okay. Can't control your eating. No. I was just looking at my watch to be like, what time is it? When's my next feeding?

But you're not overweight or you don't appear overweight. No, I'm not overweight, but I have, it's like, I used to smoke, uh, for many, many years and I felt truly like a slave to cigarettes. No other substance like marijuana, alcohol, drugs, never. It was like, I don't need to do that today. Or I don't need to do that this week. Like that never felt like that. But cigarettes, I was like, I'm completely beholden to this. And similarly with food and I guess really sugar, I am like, I can't not eat. Like if there's a chocolate chip cookie in the kitchen. Well, that's what I was watching your special and taught when I said,

when I saw that this is one of your blogs, it was like, you just got to get it out of your house. And I do until, you know how chocolate chip cookies have little feet? Uh-huh. They scurry up into your kitchen? Yeah, like the coffee. Is that the coffee and TV video for the blur video where actually it's a milk carton? I think maybe there's a cookie, but yeah. It's like, let's go out to the movies. Or like a hankering for a hunk of cheese. You know what I mean?

That's a hunk of the legs. I try my best to keep it out of the house, but there's always a little something. And then you're like, oh, remember, I'll be like, remember when I bought the supplies for s'mores six months ago? And so that means there's like a box of hershey candy bars in the deep recesses of my pantry and some very hard marshmallows

rock hard watch out bro yep watch out dude i them, bro. Whoa. You got really cool really quickly. That's if Theo Vaughn wants to eat a s'more. Bro, I'm telling you. It's the devil's dandruff. Tell you, man. Satan's little morsels. I'm sucking on, dude. Bro, I'm telling you.

I was straight up sucking on Frosty the Snowman's one testicle. And putting that chocodoodoo in my mouth. And does your wife have orders not to bring that filth into your house? She doesn't have a sweet tooth. Right. And so she has no empathy for me in that. She's like, why don't you just not eat the cookie? Because I'm like, because it's all I can think about.

My experience with sugar is I went off. I just went off. I was in Mexico. I went off. I have a sugar day. Don't, I don't know. That felt racist. It's not judgment.

I'm like, oh, I mean, scary. Like, yeah, like. All sugar. Like bread. Kind of. Bread, churro-y breakfasts. Were you doing a lot of churro-y breakfasts? Like a lot of pastries.

Yeah, well, I feel like if you're vegan. Yeah, I got, spoiler alert, remember those? Yeah. Wasn't that vegan. I don't eat meat, but sometimes I'll transition over to vegetarian. Like on a big trip. Yeah, don't say that in front of Dave. Yeah, no. Trust me. Don't talk about transitioning. I need to put it on

a list of things to talk to him about. So, so, not cutting it. He watches this podcast religiously. I'm sure. I'm sure. So, you cut it all out. How do you feel? I just can't. I have sure. I'm sure. You cut it all out.

How do you feel? I have a sugar day once a week. Sunday's a sugar day. I just go off. French toast, ice cream, garbage. That's on Sunday. Once I get to Wednesday,

I'm not thinking about sugar. So you got to kind of kick the habit every week. Have you tried that and it still didn't? I have tried like getting clean, like eating cleaner and clean. You got hypnot I have tried like getting clean, like eating cleaner and clean. You got hypnotized. I got hypnotized to quit eating snacks, truly. And it

worked for like a month and I lost weight and felt better, but I ultimately fell back in. And it's very like, I understand what you're doing, except I could not have Sunday. Like what I learned with cigarettes was like, I cannot have nicotine in my body at all. When I quit smoking, I had the thought, if I smoke one, I'm going to smoke 10,000 and I cannot smoke one. Yes. And so I think sugar probably functions the same way for me. Like I couldn't have Sunday. You know what I mean?

I'd be like, I'm done with sugar. And that's that, you know, like, cause if I even have any bit in my blood, like I remember when I was smoking and I would hear someone have like a, like a phlegmy cough, like, I immediately be like, when's my next cigarette, like that trigger, you know what I mean? Yeah. So like that would i feel like sugar i'm on like a countdown to my next and look i'm not terrible i'm not as bad as i could be of course i have i don't have much shit in my house at all um i can have ice cream live in my freezer for like months but i not s'mores- Not s'mores though. Not s'mores, bro. You got hypnotized. I got hypnotized over the phone by a woman.

I listened to that hypnosis over and over while I slept and it helped for a while. And then I sort of like fall back in because where I struggle in general is what is a life without sugar? Right. Well, you can't, it's not like alcohol where you can just kind of give it up

and you'll be all right. Right. Like sugar is kind of in everything and it's also great. Yeah. And like the older you get and the less that you're like, you know, I'm married,

very happily married and like living a very contented life. But like those early halcyon days of New York where you're out like five nights a week and out and about and doing everything and everywhere, like, like life changes. And so like all of a sudden a chocolate chip cookie with a little sea salt on top, that's a good day. That's kind of sex for, for people, the people that aren't in their twenties. Yeah. Like you, you, like, you're like, I don't want, I have, my skin is a fucking mess. Why?

That's another block. It's a block as to like, and I think it, frankly, it all ties together in the skin. It looks okay. It looks all right right now. Okay. But I'm on like various medications and I have cut out, ironically, I have cut out massive amounts of food in my life. Things that I love. For your skin.

For my skin. Because you're rosacea and all that shit? Yeah, rosacea is for the Irish. Jews have eczema. Oh. Here's my theory. It's like the Jews are like eczema. It's like, it's like, it's like to remind us of the pyramids that we built so that our skin will crackle like the straw of the pyramid floors.

And the Irish, I feel like a rosacea where it's just like this like red rage that lives inside that if triggered, like explodes onto one's face uncontrollably. that if triggered, like explodes onto one's face uncontrollably. So I think like I have some versions of eczema autoimmune, and I think it's like my inability to directly confront people. Do you think they're connected? Yes. I think my emotional states definitely connect to that. And I think my emotional state is definitely connected to me, not directly confronting people or things

or just like pushing things down emotionally has an effect on my skin. For sure, I can tell you like, all of a sudden I'll eat something like, oh fuck, I can feel my face getting itchy right now. I'm going to wake up tomorrow. My eyes are going to be swollen. I know it.

Like I can tell I'm like, for some reason I'm like, I can't eat ginger anymore like not even bad shit i'm like ginger for some reason right now makes me think my skin goes fucking crazy but i've cut out like dairy but have you had the thing where like you won't say something and you'll get a flare-up no but like if i'm in a stressful time in my life and i'm not directly addressing something on a real level, I can feel my skin getting worse. But I also talked to my therapist about it and she was like, don't blame yourself entirely for your skin.

Like don't blame you like that you're not vocalizing this or this and that's why your skin is terrible. It's like she's like, you might just be allergic to a lot of shit. Yeah. You might just be Jewish. You might be. If your skin is made of pyramid blocks, then you might

be theovon. Does that make sense? Now, are you still on... Jewish? Yes. Are you still smoking weed? Yeah, but much less than I used to. How come? Because it just gets me too high.

It's not a fun hang anymore. I would not want to smoke weed around my kid. But just because my dad was an alcoholic and I don't like that. No, I mean, I'm not like ripping fucking bong hits and like driving my kid to work. My kid works full time. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Uh, he's a, he's a model. Is that part of your shock system? Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you gotta, Hey, I'm Nick Crow. You gotta shock the kid. You gotta shock the kid. And this is blocks. Welcome back to blocks. Put your baby to work. Let him know who's boss. It's whoever he's working for.

work. Let him know who's boss. It's whoever he's working for. But if you do go to the Marshalls on Hollywood, you will see my son. He's working in red sweatshirts. He's big for his age. He's very big for his age. You're going to see what looks like to be a developmentally disabled Mexican

man. That is my son. He works in Marshalls. His name is Pedro. Vote for Pedro, folks. I didn't stop swimming because of my son. He works in Marshalls. His name is Pedro. His name is Pedro. Vote for Pedro, folks. It's a weird one. I didn't stop smoking weed because of my kid.

I mean, like, your life changes, so you're not like, again, like going back to your 20s, like the days of like being able to like smoke weed in the middle of the day and like fucking off

and going to, you know, go have breakfast with Roger Hales. Those days are gone. But like if I'm in a very controlled environment where i i'm like my kids safe i'm doing whatever i'm doing i can still like smoke a little bit of pot but i just don't it more just like it's not as enjoyable yeah in the way it was like i just freak out or like my brain moves too fast but i I will, I will in, in specific ways and very, I just,

I will smoke what I know I can smoke and a certain amount. Like I have a joke. I think it's in the act and in special, it was like, like if I smoke someone else's joint, I'm like, this is a mistake. You know,

next thing I know it's four in the morning and I'm nude in my kitchen looking at family pictures, uh, which is how rock hard ross so fucking thick blood covered in hives oh my god truly but i've like alcohol i've cut way back specifically because of my skin i've cut way back on alcohol and life like you have a, you have to wake up at like six in the morning. Yeah. But like alcohol, I have cut way, way back

largely because of my skin. Not because I had a problem, but because I was like, oh, my skin will become enraged if I drink a lot of alcohol. Yeah. Okay. What therapies or what habits

have you done that made your life better? Because the point of the podcast is we say our problems and then we say anything that's helped us let's see i mean i've been in regular therapy my current therapist i've been with for over 10 years great uh how'd you guys celebrate your anniversary go ahead i bought her a lexus and put a bow on it fuck and her husband was furious static oh he was furious that i didn't get him one as well. Yeah, okay.

We maybe have a slightly enmeshed relationship. The next section, I got him one because I want him to like it. Yeah, you have to. You're a people pleaser. And I see him looking through the peephole on the sessions. You know what I mean? Yeah, let him watch. Oh, I love it.

Even more. Eyeballs. Eyeballs or eyeballs. Eyeballs, you know. Who cares? No, so I've been with my therapist for at least 10 years, and I was in therapy before that. Even more. Eyeballs. Eyeballs or eyeballs. Eyeballs. You know? Who cares? No. So I've been with my current, my therapist for at least 10 years

and I was in therapy before that. I mean, I think regular therapy, even when you're not in a moment where you're like, I need to be in therapy. Like, I think that's also when big things happen.

It's like doing, you know, it's like doing spots. For me, the spots are the therapy. know i mean it's like going to the gym but with your therapist and the audience is the therapist gotta get the reps you know what i mean that's why we because we're assassins that's why we call it modern day philosophers yeah if you are gonna go to therapy tell on

yourself or you're not or you're wasting your money. You have to tell the worst parts of yourself or you're wasting your fucking money. I am very honest in therapy. Yeah. Nowhere else. And nowhere else. Everywhere else is a lie. Except for blocks.

This Tuesday on ABC. It's so crazy. I'm so glad you got the Tuesday slot. It's such a great slot after Home Improvement. So I agree. Be radically honest in therapy. Otherwise, it's pointless. Yep.

I do that very regularly. Very, very regularly. You've never taken medication? I have not taken medication. Great. Think you're so tough? I do. Without the medication?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, great. Yeah, I lift. Think you're better than me? Yeah. I hit a punching bag of Zoloft like every morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm tough.

Speed bag it. I'm a speed bagger. Yeah, you're a very tough guy. And then I do a speed ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I should mention that. It's different things. I have zero problem with if I felt like I genuinely needed to take medication, not for a minute

would I think not about it. You've talked about this and I am a believer of it. I used to do it more recreationally, but now with intention. But plant medicine, I think, can be really helpful. Name your plant medicines. I got a couple of them. Do you consider weed a plant medicine? If used correctly.

Yeah, I think in like a narrow bandwidth. Very narrow bandwidth. I think it's like what bandwidth. Very narrow bandwidth. I think it's like what I believe is the more, the older I get with everything, whether it's alcohol, weed, mushrooms, ayahuasca, ketamine, frankly, mood stabilizers or pharmaceuticals, whatever it is, whatever it is that you're doing,

therapy, talk therapy, you know, EPT, I don't know what's it called, EPT. EMDR. EMDR. TMS. Hypnosis. Yep. It's just all about doing it intentionally. It's about, and it's something I've learned very much from my wife is like being intentional with whatever it is you're doing. Like if you're going to. Intentional is an overused word. Yes. But okay. For example, I'll, I'll get more specific. It's like if you are going to eat psychedelics, whether it's ayahuasca or mushrooms or whatever, that you are going in mindfully as to what you are about to do. Yeah, meaning like with a purpose. Yes. Like I want a question answered. I'm not going to party. No, and by the way... I'm going to try to solve an issue. And by the way, oftentimes,

that will not get solved, but something else will. But it will be a party. It will be a fucking throwdown. Every Tuesday, Blacks on Spike TV. Sorry. Sorry, you got... Yeah, I mean, you're really hammering me.

Okay, so I don't know what you've done, though. I haven't told you. I know, and I'm excited. I think I know, and I can't wait. Y'all got to pay me a lot more than a pH-balanced water, motherfucker. Yeah, brother. What I will tell you is that you go in with an intention of like, I want to do this or that.

I want to work on this element of myself. And you hope that that comes through. Um, even if your intention is to be a fucking a goofball, like the older you get and the more like life becomes not so silly. Like sometimes you're like, no, the goal of this afternoon with my friends or in this circle or wherever you are is to be fucking a goofball, then if that's what you get out of it, terrific. Maybe that's what you really needed, you know? You've done mushrooms? Yeah.

Big doses? I have tended not to do. I did some recently. I did not come in like mindfully into doing them. I was like doing a bunch of shit. And then I was like, all right, time. And it was like, and it kind of knocked me on my ass. it was not i was like oh that was work but it was interest ultimately very interesting and you were with people yeah but we were we were in a scenario where we were

being kind of quiet it was not like uh and and i was like oh that was not it was useful but it was not fun that's yeah that's my experience with ayahuasca. Ayahuasca. Which you don't want to talk about on here, but maybe you've, sounds like you've taken. Would you consider Oxycontin a plant medicine? I think it's a master teacher. That's what they call it. Right.

Of the plant medicine. Yeah, but I mean, I think like whatever it is you're doing, it's just, anyway, in the drug space, it's like, you just are doing it. I agree. The word intentional is like overused. Just purposefully. Purposefully. And I, and I would say the same with therapy and I would say the same with, and for me, hypnosis was effective. The first time I did hypnosis to quit smoking, I was just like, I want out. I want fucking done. And it worked. And then I went back for other stuff. And at that point, I had also started meditating a little bit. And I was like, oh, this is just like meditating with somebody talking to you is what hypnosis, I realized like hypnosis sort of is. And that was also very helpful. And it was easier for me to drop

in and get the message faster because I had done enough meditation at that point to, uh, and I never meditate. I wish I would, I wish I meditated more. It's a hard, it's the hardest of the things that mushroom experience that I was like, we were all being quiet. And I was like, Oh, I'm not very good at stillness. I'm not very good at stillness. I'm not very good at being quiet. Like, and I don't know if a lot of people feel that way or not. Everybody does. I mean, don't think is the hardest thing in the world.

Yeah. It's the hardest. That's the point of meditation. It's like, because Catholics, like, don't think dirty thoughts or mean thoughts. I feel like Catholic was like, in general, was like, hey, guys, yeah, don't think. Well, no, they're like, don't think this and that. Right. Whereas, and you go, all right, I'm going to do it.

I'll go over here. Don't think fucking anything. You're like, anything? Nothing, you weak pussy. Well, and the Jews were like, don't think I'm not going to cool you. That it? Necro. We did it?

Yep. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it. We did it.