Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Sam Morril

Episode Date: March 30, 2023

Neal Brennan interviews Sam Morril (We Might Be Drunk Podcast, Netflix special 'Same Time Tomorrow') about the things that make him feel lonely, isolated, and like something's wrong - and how he is persevering despite these blocks. -------------------------------------- Sam's blocks: 00:00 Intro 2:28 Biological Father 10:37 Can’t Take Time Off But Also Exhausted 22:13 Afraid Success Will Go Away 36:14 Alcohol 44:15 Ladies -------------------------------------- https://nealbrennan.com for tickets to Neal's tour Brand New Neal Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81036234 Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle -------------------------------------- SPONSORS: https://gametime.co code: NEAL https://bluechew.com/neal for first month free https://betterhelp.com/neal for 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, I'm Neil Brennan and I have a Netflix special called Blocks. And if you haven't seen it, I go over my personal issues, the things that make me feel like something's wrong with me, make me feel crazy, alone in the world. And Jimmy Carr had the idea to have my friends on and ask them what their blocks are, what makes them feel like something's wrong with them, makes me feel crazy. Basically their problems. We are very vulnerable here. People thank us for it we shame shame today my guest is a uh what do i know you 10 years easy something

like that yeah don't know you well but i think there's a mutual respect yeah for sure i really enjoyed your last special yeah thank you but yeah you're a great comic you've got good values you always write you're like a 90s in the way that i think of myself in the same way like you're a son of a tell i opened for him for a while and uh he's like he's the best person yeah i'm saying david tell is a comedian yeah like amazing every comic thinks he has the best jokes yes kind of changed joke writing structure in comedy and just excellent but but there's an emphasis on like writing and discipline and repetition and things that i do like it's colin quinn too i mean it's like the new york scene is the new york scene is what it is because of those guys because they were you know you'd see them at the

cellar and there's certain people who don't write as much there but those guys because they were you know you'd see them at the cellar and there's certain people who don't write as much there but those guys are just it's always new shit yeah so you're just like oh this is it's like sports if you have good veterans on the team yeah the young players are like oh this is what you do yeah but i don't think everybody did it but if you like subscribe to it it just teaches you values well it's the thing is i remember when i would open for him he'd say something like do new stuff this show you know and it's scary to bomb a new joke in front of david tell but it's also like yeah it's also scary to think he doesn't he thinks i don't write well that yeah that's a pick your poison yeah it's like i can be ashamed in public or i can be like a privately personally shaped yeah um i don't know a ton

about your personal life did you grow up in the city in new york city okay and from a two-parent home no well yeah my dad i guess the term is legally adopted which i hate that term because that sounds like i was in an orphanage but uh i wasn't you know but i yeah my mom i don't know the full story with my mom and my biological dad i don't like it's a hard thing to ask that's so funny i don't like what do you think what do you know i it didn't work out okay so your mom met a guy yeah they had a looks like a lot like weirdly like you and they had do you know how long their relationship was no you can't ask that's really interesting i get that it's private for her yeah i yeah i don't i don't know then you've never even been like was there like in your teenage where you i dug

around a little it was a weird thing and uh yeah yeah i don't know and you're like fine with that i guess i mean you're fine with just like uh it is it important how why are you the way you are the guy she married who i call dad who's my dad is a great dad yeah so i kind of just was like i'm fine i i people would i would get upset when i would do jokes about my biological father because i thought they were funny scenarios and sometimes you'd hear someone in the crowd go oh i go oh no it'd be so much worse if he stuck around yeah i don't understand like i i got lucky yeah so uh he would he lived near me he lived uh i'd see him on the street and i would just be like, fuck, I'm gonna go this way. You do?

So you know who he is? Yeah, I've met him. So we tried to have like some or whatever relationship, but it was just, it was difficult. I don't think he's a bad person, but I think he's not a good parent, obviously. It wasn't cut out for you. Yeah, it wasn't cut out. That was like one of my first jokes was people were like, is your biological father a good person? I'd say, if he were, I wouldn't refer to him as my biological father so no i mean so that was

like an early joke but yeah he lived near me and then he lived near me again like i moved and he moved that's so funny yeah and uh i was like now you're following me but uh is it like a sex event or something where he has to ring the doorbell and be like just so you know no it was yeah that was but then you know so then it was a blended family uh i have two step siblings who i just call my brother and sister and and they live in uh brooklyn all right and are you you're all tight yeah yeah still like you see your your mom and your dad yeah yeah like get together and do stuff? Yeah. I gave it a shot with the biological father, but it just wasn't working.

How many shots did you give it? I'd say a couple. I mean, we hung out a few times. I was like 18. I was dating a girl who was a psych. She was a psych major. Now here we go. I know.

It gets better. Both her parents were psychiatrists. Fantastic. So they would just analyze me at the dinner table. Yeah. better. Both her parents were psychiatrists. Fantastic. So every, they would just analyze me at the dinner table. Yeah. So they, I remember we,

we'd have any little argument. She'd be like, who are you really yelling at? It's the fucking worst. Cause they can't, because I talk about like mental health shit in the specials, I get unsolicited diagnoses from people. One of the guys is like a credible shrink and he's,

and I did his podcast and he's asking me questions and I go, this is for covert narcissism, isn't it? And he's like, yeah, failed. I mean, succeeded slash failed at being a covert narcissist. And,

but he also said, I may be on the spectrum okay i haven't gotten the effect i'm i made an appointment to go to the but that's like street cred for a joke writer you want to be a little bit on the street yeah exactly but so anyhow the point i'm trying to make is a friend of mine i'm talking about a relationship thing and my friend's like well didn't someone say you're on the spectrum and i I was like, yes. And I think I know where you're going, which is anytime I disagree with something can't be because I'm on the spectrum. If I don't think I should have to make a big plan for a date or get a woman flowers on

a second date, that doesn't mean because I'm fucking autistic. It doesn't mean it just means I don't. Dude on Twitter said this. Now you get to use it every argument. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. So like, but yeah, you get to use it against me, by the way. It's not like.

So yeah, I'm sure it was like. It's kind of an abuse of trust. Well, yes, of course. Yes. Yes. And so they kind of forced your hand. They were like, you should get in touch with him. Yeah.

So I met him. And then we met uh at some coffee shop and uh yeah and it was like it was kind of exciting at first because it was new yeah and then you know any new relationship yeah but get a new dad yeah sexy you know what i mean and i just you know it was fine and then after a while you just kind of like oh this there's a reason you didn't stick with that that this wasn't working he has another son he raised that he doesn't talk to so both ways so either way both ways it didn't work out you got it really was an upgrade yeah to the dad you

had i upgraded big yeah so when people got upset i'd be like look there's i'm sure there's issues there but it worked out best it could yeah that sounds like not bad and you also wonder like i knew my dad didn't speak to him half my life like yeah i'm your brother i'm your other you know what i mean like i did the thing i was the control group which is a dad that's available but not there and abusive so it's like not like who knows what we don't need to get into what your dad's like but yeah but yeah like yeah so many people i've dated so many people with father issues and i'm like i don't really have them in that way you know because i did have a supportive dad yes he just wasn't my biological dad so i i for some reason i've never that's a new joke i've i've never dated a woman with a good father in my life yeah so i'm like'm like, I'm mad that, uh, I'm mad at these men, but I'm also looking at the

numbers and bad dads are keeping me in the game, you know? Yeah. So it's a, it's a bummer, but it's also like that. That's, I have a type apparently, you know, we can, we'll get to that. Sure. All right. So how would you, well, this is a question I haven't asked anybody. How would you on a scale of one to 10, what number would you give your day-to-day mental health? Not as bad as I think people would think. I mean, it depends on the day, obviously, but that's a tough question. I mean, my mental health, I mean, it also depends who you ask.

I'm curious what it's like to be in your existence. I'm pretty happy. I mean, I'm curious what it's like to be in your existence I'm pretty happy I mean I I'm all right uh I get to do what I love and I get to tour with my friends and I I have a good life I think there's there's always stuff missing but I'm a pretty I'm okay I I it also depends how much I've been drinking like there's all there's always fact that day or like that week well i mean when i'm drunk i feel pretty good but the next day i don't feel that good affable drunk sure i mean that's the only reason you can keep going got it unless if you see a drunk who's a bad drunk they're still going they no one cares about them yeah i've seen those people and i'm

just like oh you're but no one gave no one gives a shit enough to give you an intervention where they're really famous or they're like Mel Gibson, where they're just like, they're like, ah, fuck it. Yeah. The thing where people go like, you must be like, I'll get DMS, like, hold on. And I'm like, it's, I'm not, it's not day to day. It's just general like issues I have, but it's not like, and I never think that with, I never look at you and think like your acts your acts fun dark that's what i mean yeah i think people when people say dark i'm like but it's always a silly turn i never i'm not just being i'm not trying to be brooding up there i'm literally trying to entertain i i'm an old school comic where i'm like i just want it to be funny to everybody

that really is the goal so no i don't i don't think of myself as a dark comic at all yeah i don't either all right so you you sent over your friend your publicist sent over our publicist our publicist in our pam she's the best uh she i was on the phone with her once and uh she's such a new yorker i was on the phone with her once and she was like talking about trying to get me something and and in the middle of the conversation she goes ah, ah, bird shit on me. Anyway, just kept going. I feel like she did the same with me at some point. Like bird shit on her a lot.

Or that's her thing when she wants to change the subject. Yeah. One of your things is you can't take time off. That's true. Thanks, Pam. But you're also exhausted. I was going to take today off. Yeah, exactly. You got to do Neil Brennan's part. But you're also exhausted. I was going to take today off. Yeah, exactly. And she was like, you got to do Neil Brennan's podcast.

But you're also exhausted. Yeah. No. Well, this is kind of what happens is you're like, I'm going to take next week off. And then she's like, here's 13 podcasts you should do. And I'm like, done. No, it is very hard for me to take time off. I don't really take vacations.

Why not? I don't know. It's very hard. And I'm not even trying to get get like is it because you're an orphan no it's uh it's wherever i go on vacation he would follow me he would come too no uh i think it's just hard like night comes around i just want to do stand-up it's hard i love stand-up i'm also a single guy it's hard to go on vacation as a single guy. I just went to Thailand as a single guy. And I got to say, people don't give you the benefit of the doubt.

They don't. Even I heard that. I was like, I know you and I like you, but this could take a turn, this story. Yeah, people are like, Thailand, huh? It's like, yeah, I've been there before. I've been there a bunch of times. I've been to Tokyo. And it's like, you can get prostitutes

anywhere so far as i can tell like anyhow yeah so yeah so i get that yeah i got looks when i went to epstein's island but i know and it's there guys it's not what you have good food yeah it's really good and it's all inclusive it's crazy you have to give them a hundred million dollars and it's all inclusive um no i just it's i think it's hard as a single guy. And I always feel like I'm going to fall behind with standup. I always... Is there a person or is there like... You have a metabolism.

You've set a standard for yourself. Yeah, I just never took time off. So it's hard to take time off. What about... Well, yeah, I was going to say, what about COVID? And you made a bunch of specials outside on roofs i was going crazy i was in la for about five months and and you know during that time i was like i was writing a little bit but yeah i got back to new york and i was like i got i did a show on the street corner and i was like this is amazing you know the bar was so low for

i mean obviously looking back that was a real mental health call right there i know what you mean though there are times where people are like you're not gonna do that show i'm like i just i did a show in time like it's not a nice club it's like a it's kind of rickety and whatever i do i've done shows like great it's fun to me the roof stuff was so fun because there was nothing else so that i was so grateful for that i mean looking back i would never do a roof show again that was the funniest part is when it came out and people were like, perform my roof. And I'm like,

no, that's over. Are you kidding me? I'm not doing that anymore. That was awful. Some roof comic, like a chimney sweep. Yeah.

It just felt good to be busy. And I just like, I think, you know, with relationships, they haven't worked, you know, they end,

but standups always there. And that's always kind of where I get purpose after a breakup or i find you know i can stay busy and and i get way too much of my self-worth from stand-up yeah yes i'm with i know what you mean yeah but but stand-ups there that's that's why covid was fucked up because it was like the one thing that we had and it's like oh it's not there yeah but i'm but i guess i'm curious like what i don't know anyone who gets their self-esteem from the right stuff right do you know what i mean like i don't know anybody who does like what is the right stuff to get it from that's what i mean like you should get it from uh being worthy or being your family or your loved ones and all this stuff and it's like that's pretty imperfect yeah my mom's supposed to love me yeah i shouldn't get self-esteem where's

the challenge yeah there's no challenge yeah no but i but yeah like what do you get it from the right people and also you're great at it thanks man but man. But I mean it like, why wouldn't you want to be, it feels good to do something that you're great at. I enjoy it so much. I really, and I like the road. Like I think the road was so bad for so many years and now I'm in like nicer hotels and it's just become easier.

You know, you get, you fly so much, you get status or the flying gets easier. And I mean, I liked this when it was horrible so like now i'm kind of like this is fucking fun man like yeah but the weights like the the weights are off you're just like you can just jump without ankle weights exactly so it's tough i mean there's more pressure to write but it's good pressure and the crowds are i mean i remember doing like papered rooms and like the syracuse funny bone and you know the crowd's not there for you in every joke they're not there for anything for anything syracuse sucks yeah i've never been but i did yeah i i didn't good writers came out of syracuse sure but bad bad that place

talk about mental health that's i think that's one of the higher suicide rates i believe it yeah um you hate to say they're right to do it no but they are but come on don't kill yourself are there types of people that you're like i wish i was like that kind of person in moments i think yeah i think let's say you keep the talent you know what I mean you keep you still write jokes I don't know if I can keep it if I take time off of course you can you think so of course you can you took five months off during COVID that's true but my hour was one of my best hours right when you came when you didn't do it and then you did it and it was great I'm saying you could take six months off and then it seems like the machine will make a better hour i get not want to take it off time to to like

because you don't want to lose like like momentum with a crowd no my therapist has said this to me too and i and i'm sure that maybe you guys are right it's it's very hard i get anxious when i'm not on stage well that's what i was gonna say what happens i get anxious how old were you when you started 18 okay so it's i mean yeah it's like you've been you've conditioned your that's what your life is yeah and i just uh if i'm home two days a week i look at it this way okay what do i what do i do those two days i'm probably gonna go up at the cellar because you know say i go on a date and the date sucks i wasted half my week in new york also like i'm gonna live here and pay to live here i should get i should do the i should you should get some of the benefits yeah i i love the cellar it's it's hard not to i'm with

you i totally agree i'm just saying well i i again, I'm not even saying you're doing it wrong. I'm just, I guess if it's like, if there are parts of yourself or parts of your life that you wish were different. I think at some point it would be nice to have a partner and maybe a kid. And I've looked at that and I think that would be good. But, you know, if that person comes along, I'll give it a shot. I don't know really how to do it. I mean, it's kind of hard to just like look for that, you know?

It's funny because that's what I feel like people who want to get married and want to have kids are doing. I don't want to just get married for the sake of getting married. If I get married, I want to meet the right person. I don't want to just like do it to do it. You're overthinking it. Am I? You just got to. I don't want to just do it to do it. You're overthinking it. Am I? You just got to.

Apparently, you just got to do it to do it. These people have to be a means to your ends. I fucking hate married people who try to set me up, too. That's a real, it really bothers me. There's an arrogance to it. There's an arrogance to it. There's like a we know better. One of them actually wrote me a message that said,

we want to set you up with someone we want to do our part and i was like do your part that sounds like a canned food drive or something fund me yeah it's depressing as hell it's also like you squares wouldn't know that's how i feel then i also don't want to see who they think i should be with that because i feel like that's gonna hit myself it's an insult it's all an insult like i don't need to i can catch my own food exactly and i and i and also like it's there's something condescending about it there is also you don't know what i like yeah and since how could you tell me what i should be like who should i be with it bothers me it's a peeve for sure and they also go with like

stereotypes of what they think you'll like you you know what you need and it's like no my mom said she's like i have a friend that wants to tell you i'm like i'm gonna get set up with my mom's friends i mean yeah impossible impossible i mean the thought's nice but i'm not doing it yeah um that's i forget you're jewish and then that comes up i'm like of course jewish yeah some of the stereotypes are true that's you have some jewish qualities yeah they they're the yeah yes yes i am people think i'm jewish you wouldn't strike me as irish i know i'm like uh i'm irish this is what happens when an irish other than the self-loathing. Of course. When an Irish person reads too many issues of The New Yorker, this is what happens.

You become Irish, but you're like with a Jewish rising. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. All I do is talk about therapy on here. You've seen it. You've gotten the message. I believe in therapy. I've done it. I don't even know how much I've done it. I've just done it incalculable amount of time. It helped me a lot. You also know that the other things we talk about on here,

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It's all done online. So no visits to the doctor's office, no awkward conversations, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. Neil, you wouldn't need a boner pill. If I get access to them, why not take it? What's the downside? I'll know. I'll know that it wasn't, I didn't, didn't do it all myself. I mean, none of us are doing it all ourselves anyway. I mean, just in life, you know what I mean? Don't be a hero, is my point. Blue Chew wants to help you have better sex. Discover your options at bluechew.com. Chew it and do it. We've got a special deal for our listeners. Try Blue Chew free when you use promo code Neil at checkout. Just pay $5 shipping. That's bluechew.com, promo code N-E-A-L to receive

your first month free. blue chew dot com for more details and important safety information and we thank blue chew for sponsoring the podcast thank you blue chew oh okay this is a good one you're afraid success will go away oh sure yeah well explain to me how you understand the success you've had. What do you think is happening? Culmination of a lot of years of work, but also, you know. Yeah, when you break it down, I, of course, realize that, like, it's not just going to go away, poof, but I also don't know how long it will last.

Yeah. Is I think really what I mean. When you look at other people, people when you think other people's success has gone away they've done some bad stuff probably no i know well there's that there's that stuff but i'm saying like which i'm gonna assume that you don't think that'll happen to you i've never been to thailand of course they didn't so you know you've never been west thailand um you assume that that won't happen to you right of course yeah no i don't i yeah it's not that i just yeah i don't know why that's a fear it is a fear though yeah it's just like it's more of a

feeling than something that i can make sense of do you think part of this may be things that you've picked up as like good defense mechanisms for like it's it's to just keep going yeah like i can't or else it's like a form of ocd where it's like i gotta keep doing it and if i don't yeah like maybe you just tell yourself that in those terms but yeah that that makes sense like it's just convenient because like you like i don't by the way i don't think there's anything wrong with how you're living like i don't i have i'm in no uh position to judge i do have a nice lady i'd like to set you up um but you know what i mean like i don't i'm in but i but i do see like you could be this and with a little less stress potentially yeah do i stress myself out? And I think it got bad.

I think when I had one special I was trying to sell and no one would buy, and that I think really heightened the fear. Because I was like, wow, I worked so hard on this and I think it's really good and no one would buy it. And I think that ended up being the best thing for me, putting it on YouTube. That was the YouTube one.

Yeah, but that caused a lot of fear in me. That was like, man, I feel like I'm doing this the right way i'm doing it and uh well yeah i thought i i don't disagree with you because i was surprised nobody wanted to buy it and then yeah i remember going to la and doing the little tap dance for the for the you know streamer people that come out and and everyone passed and uh and i was like man am i there was a fear that was like maybe i'm not good i think that was that went into my head i was like maybe i'm not I, there was a fear that was like, maybe I'm not good. I think that was, that went into my head. I was like, maybe I'm not that good at this. I don't know.

So, so that was, okay. That's, there was also a chip on my shoulder being like, but I think I'm pretty good. So I think there was that back and forth, like, am I crazy or is this crazy? Either way, I'm kind of bummed by it, you know? Yeah. Well, that's, I've experienced that where you're like there's like a kanye line where it's like are all these that much better than me that's better than his other lines i've heard exactly it's like are they're all really like every all of these people are but you're telling

me that they're and then there is and then you vacillate between and i don't want to get bitter that's the other thing so i was like i i was very upset with all of it and i was like i don't want this to affect how i am because i i like comedy and i don't want to ever be bitter towards other comics and uh i was pretty upset and it was also like that thing i was like well i don't have i'm not in relationships i put everything into this so i don't have really i have good friendships and that means a lot to me but like i put so much into this i feel like i've neglected other parts of my life so that was tough i think i think that definitely influenced the next few years where i was like during covid i can't take time off i don't i put out a special to tour off because i was like well

you know it's on youtube so i'm doing this to tour and then that came out february 2020 so like weeks before yeah so that's part of probably why i did so well online but also i can't really tour now so uh that was part of why covid i was like i gotta keep this i can't lose this yeah what's the tape in your head sound like when you get passed on again i'm not really worried about it now no no but i'm saying back then oh i was by the way it's only three years ago i know and that's the stupidity stupidity of of comedy showbiz which is like you can just be like at the bottom of the leaderboard and then just shoot up 80 spots it was kind of like what else can i do i don't really know what else to do yeah uh and then i remember i just told my agent i

was like i'm just gonna shoot it and she was like you know she was like yeah i think you should she was supportive about it and uh which is cool and agents are like i'm not gonna make any money on this but i think you're doing the right thing so you accept it i was i was angry for like a minute and then i was kind of like what if i stay angry it's i'll stay angry in my work there's that gustave lebert quote where they he says uh be violent in your work and be ordinary in your life i thought about that i was like that's a good way i'm like fuel it toward the hour shoot it and then you know you go back to bomb and you get humble again gotta start the new hour but uh yeah i was angry for like a minute i have good friends who are like this is bullshit and i think they were they were like fuck that we think you're funny and that that helped so then

you shoot it i felt good about the way we shot it was like very you know minimalist you know at the cellar thank god i did it that way. But it's funny. You think the thing you're doing is a defeat. And then years later, you're like, you don't know what's going to work for you. You really don't. Yes. And it's also like there's a 12-step program.

But rejection is God's protection. And it all is the right thing it's impossible to believe it because we have to make all these plans in life yeah like i'm gonna get on this streamer and then i'm gonna go up to these theaters and i'm gonna do it but like it's never gonna be like that once in a blue moon someone will like get every single opportunity and it's perfect and it's great but then sometimes that person's act sucks because they got everything was a green sometimes usually well when everything's a green light in your career you you don't feel that sometimes you need to get well that's what i was gonna ask you about it's like how do you persevere what are the

things that kept you because i don't even like talking about comedy on here so much as like what is it like how do you fucking persevere how can a person persevere in life if somebody's 20 and like i'm gonna go into fucking uh computers um what and but i don't know i'm gonna make computer whatever some sort of endeavor i would argue well let me hear what you what you what you're what like what you tell people about what you've learned about perseverance i think being delusional is huge honestly like not knowing how hard something's going to be is great protection because you get in a comedy and you're like yeah that guy wasn't that good

on letterman or whatever you know if he could do it i can do it and then you're like fuck that guy's been doing comedy for 20 years you know yeah and that guy's actually very good yeah they made him edit out all his good shit because it's cbs or something yeah so that's it's shocking how good you do have to be at this to seem mediocre to seem mediocre it's amazing yeah like someone will be like you're corny i'm like that put so much work into that joke jesus christ yeah so yeah being delusional is is a great weapon when you're young i mean think about how much cockier you were when you were young in your 20s and you don't know what you don't know exactly and you do think it's going to be like a easy path and and by the time you realize how

hard it is the thing you said earlier it's too late yeah no it's you get those people uh at those family uh events where you know it's like an aunt you don't know that well you're still doing comedy and you're like what the fuck else could i do at this point yeah the thing i would say that you and i share is when you start you were 18 how old are you now 36 so you've been doing it 18 years and when you i always say when people go i'm an open mic or what i go whatever if you start and we say are you prepared for people to not give a fuck about you for a decade? To not, to look past you all the time. Yeah. And with that in mind, do you still want to do it?

That's good advice. Because it's, you're just going to be embarrassed for like a decade. A little bit. But you get a lot of taste. And then, you know, it's amazing the comics who help you along a lot of taste and and then you know it's amazing the comics who who help you along the way like that really keeps you in it you know so when you say like this industry people you know are saying that maybe i'm not ready but my comic friends all like my stuff and that meant more to me than you know some network person who might not have a job in six months yeah i think like that's big what you said

i think having a strong support system you know get that whatever career you're in have a support system of people because that's everything you when you're low they lift you up i mean that is a big place i get self-worth it really isn't just comedy it's like having friends you're like all right this person i could call are they all in comedy or no most of them i have a couple non-comic friends who are in like the phone road rotation yeah i have a friend named chase who's like very uh he's really funny the phone road rotation is meaning you're it's i'm in a hotel in a hotel yeah and i need to talk to someone i have the tv usually on just for noise but then yeah i have people i need to

call every once in a while and yeah my friend chase is a good uh you know what bums me out is the the when you have a room that's got the axe the wheelchair access shower and you're like you're already sad and then you're like and there's handicapped people just as a fucking and plus handicapped people this isn't even as bad as life like fuck that fucking shower where it's just level yeah so you're like yeah and then you're sad because you're like it's wet near the sink well that's whoever started that should be tried at the head god god started but it was it used to be you'd always have now it's a cool only cool hotels have the thing where it's like there's no you could be fucking

at any part of this room and it's like i need to clean myself you remember his joke about the uh handicap rooms no about how someone was like i gave you the handicap room like they thought they were hooking him up that was it was just uh i think about that every time in that those rooms um okay so you've got like a good support system for yeah for like that i'm always on the road i need i need people i can call for sure how often do you find yourself how often on the road does it get bleak? It's lately much better because I have friends with me, but I definitely get the road blues here and there. But I, you know, I try to remind myself like, all right, this isn't forever. This is, uh, this is today. Do you ever think just don't go back to those places? Cause it's generally based on popularity, right? Right. How much, how many tickets I'm selling? No selling no no i've had great times there's

certain cities i don't sell as many tickets like i i had fun in springfield missouri like i you know i don't give a shit like i i like well yeah i'm not but i'm i bet the shows sold well they were yeah they're better than than they were a few years ago but not i'm not selling there like i am in like a bigger city but uh yeah i have friends i always have a friend with me and well you have that great thing where you just go, it's anti-Semitism. Yeah. Thank God.

If you're not doing it, I have no excuse. I can't even say, like, I seem too Jewish. You can feel sorry for yourself. What do I have? Yeah. Okay, so you have a- Those lucky bastards in the 1940s.

I know. They got to blame anti-Semitism. Do you, so that, what would you say, that's once a month you got to call somebody? It depends. I know. They got to blame anti-Semitism. Do you, so that, what would you say, that's once a month you got to call somebody? It depends. It depends.

I have Gary Veeder on the road with me most weekends. So he, like, he's like, let's get lunch. He makes,

he makes me do stuff. Yeah. So that, that helps. Like if I'm on, when I used to do the road alone, that would be much

more isolating. But if you have a friend who's like, let's go get lunch. And that goes for being in the city too. Just having activities. Yeah.

Helps me. Goes a long way. Yeah. Yeah. Buying tickets to your favorite events shouldn't be stressful, right? Ideally. Game time is the fast and easy way to buy tickets for all the sports, music, comedy, and theater near you.

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Alcohol. Sure. Tell me about alcohol. What is it? It's this great drug. It's this great drug that it's a short-term solution to all of life's problems. I don't like drinking meaning like i'm not it just doesn't work for me the button doesn't work yeah like i just don't like

the feeling of it there are drugs that i like the feeling of what drugs uh weed and alcohol are not they're the most accessible and like they do nothing for me mushrooms are great mdmas i i did it recently and it worked we did it um and uh obviously ayahuasca i won't shut the fuck up about but but there are and i'm sure i would love ayahuasca is a tough sell for me yeah that's fine yeah what's the doubt well i had someone tell me it's like 10 years of therapy in one night and i was like that's too much i like the once a week model that's very funny uh the roy wood was here last night and he did i want and it's he was he did a two-night ceremony and after one night he was like that'll do it he got

enough shit from it wow that he didn't need a second 10 years wow him and theo did it in the same ceremony which is fucking hilarious that's the last place i want to see a comic uh you'd be surprised really you're just so preoccupied you can't really even like function you can't do vomit on it i've won out of like a dozen times i vomit like and i just because i drank too much but um do you vomit on alcohol not really i mean most people do though well i was younger i would yeah when you don't when you just i drink in a more controlled way now and i that's what i like about alcohol i know what i'm getting into i have the same drinks uh it's like a reward you know end of the night i made it through the shows

i'll have a few drinks and uh i yeah it's great it works for me but i also don't want to get to a point where i have to quit either because there there are days where I'm like, okay, I do this. Alcohol is great because it just shuts me down a little bit in a way where I'm like, you're in your head all day for jokes. And then end of the night, you're like, I need to shut this down. It's like the little button on your Mac. You're just like, let me reset. So that's kind of what it will do. But every once in a while you do too much and you're too shut down and you're like, fuck, reset so that's kind of what it will do but every once in a while you do too much and you're too shut down and you're like fuck i'm i'm a step slow i need to chill for when you when you like when you're not drinking the next day you mean or no or you're like you're

it's 1 30 in the morning and you're like trying to talk and you're like i'm no just like that even like the next day it is a depressant so i mean sometimes you get a weed hangover i mean not like in a way where you're like sick but in a way where you're like i'm a step slow today yeah alcohol will i don't get hung over like i used to in that i don't drink like i used to but yeah no i'll get sad sometimes when i'm drinking too much because it is a depressant so yeah i have to like i have to have like a pep talk in my head like this is the booze you're doing okay but, the day is kind of ruined. There is no, coffee doesn't help. It helps a little.

It helps. With the hangovers. But it's dehydrating you more. Yeah. I wake up a lot in the middle of the night. What's funny is I feel like they didn't know anything about dehydration or hydration until like 10 years ago. Yeah.

Like in the 50s, no one ever brought up hydration yeah like i'm dehydrated yeah i mean that's again one of those things where i'm like doesn't work for me but if it works for you i got nothing great like there are things that work for me so i can't say i mean it is poison but it's i'm taking just like this much poison at a time i feel like i'm all right but uh yeah no at a certain point i'm either gonna have to shut it down more or just quit but uh i'm i'm monitoring it i want to i'm very busy so i need to like sometimes i'm like i just need it at the end of the day i don't like day drinking but we have to do that for our podcast sometimes because i hate being hung over at night. But you could also fake it.

We could. Like, you could just fake it. That's true. We could do the Dean Martin. Yeah. Yeah, we should. I'm just reminded of the faking it thing. We did a sketch with Don Schmell show that Dave smoked in.

Yeah. And you have to smoke constantly for two hours straight and he was like never doing that again like he didn't he when we were they make movie cigarettes right yeah which i think we didn't have but he was i think he did real ones that's fucking crazy but it was i don't yeah it was just like remind me never to do that again two hours because he thought it was just like now he just does it on stage no but yeah now he does it yeah again yeah like he there's movies like no he doesn't need him um so all right you're monitoring it you're monitoring the situation yeah sometimes i think about like man i'd be in way better shape you know well i guess it's just what kind of person

you want to be yeah like that's i look at you and i see a guy who like set a goal i don't think you're wrong yeah do you know what i mean like i don't think you're wrong in terms of like how you're living yeah like you are good at the thing you like you're getting you're growing in the thing you like in terms of popularity and i'm sure i don't know if you feel like more skilled but yeah certainly not less skilled yeah i'm a better comic than i was but i'm also more burnt out so i and busier so i i don't uh i need to get better at setting time for myself and just saying no to certain shit set like so boundaries boundaries yeah you're not you don't you don't got it i I want to please people, you know?

Yeah. So I hate saying no to people, but I, yeah, I'm getting better at it. Well, I talked to Charlamagne about this. Like, you want to be liked, but at a certain point, if you, if everyone likes you, it's going to be the death of you. you if everyone likes you it's gonna be the death of you yeah and so you kind of have to get comfortable with like being someone thinking you're kind of an asshole yeah you gotta play if you're playing it safe everyone will like you yeah and you gotta i'm not even saying i'm not talking about material i'm talking about like literally your time no i know you you're fucking yourself you're fucking you need to take care of yourself and you just need to learn to say no i've been bad at it for years

because for years you just say yes to everything because you kind of have to yeah but at a certain point yeah no i'm gonna get better at it for sure yeah because that's it because if you want to keep drinking you're gonna have to say no yeah so you can just like, you're going to have to say no. Yeah. So you can just like, so you're, I personally don't like being that busy. I don't like, like my day is stacked. I think so. And I also just don't, I don't remember.

If I do too much, I can't remember what I did that day. It becomes like a weird memory. Yeah. Where I'm like, was that today like oh fuck yeah not like it doesn't count but it almost doesn't count you feel like you're getting old in that moment where you're like you're i i feel like someone's i'm like i just forget shit it just i'm more will like it's i've had i remember 10 years ago I was parking a car on the phone in a parking structure and I could not find the car afterward because I can't be on the phone having a conversation and mindlessly doing something because I my the way my brain is set up. I think we need to be in positions where we our minds always need to be wandering for jokes so when you have too much shit on your plate I find that sometimes when I'm like I just forget to do

basic shit like I have laundry at a store I'm like I just I've neglected it for like three days because I just kept forgetting yeah and I was like oh I need to just write stuff down or something but I to write jokes I need to be able to just wander and not think about shit yeah well that's you almost have to schedule it yeah like the daydreaming yeah not day drinking um yeah all right let's talk about the ladies sure it says here you date unavailable women maybe and when they are available you're not interested or you're bored or that's again that's maybe not your words but it's someone else's appraisal of your uh yeah i think that's fair to say i think the unavailability is more of a challenge and it's more exciting how does unavailability read to you because i don't i'm i have my own experience where someone's like that's an

unavailable person i'm like oh well it doesn't mean that they're necessarily with another person it means they're emotionally unavailable it means they're not looking for something that jump starts my excitement it's almost like when you go into a joke with a crowd and you can see them like like this and then by the end of the joke they're laughing you're like fuck yeah i told you that's like level of relationships yeah like you'd rather go i'd rather turn someone that's you're like one you're like a gay guy who likes to make yeah straight guys gay but with women but with women and just them liking me um and uh that's why you only date married women yeah um they really don't want to like you and you make them yeah um great uh by taking them to the cellar um not after and sitting at the

comic sale okay well this begs the question i ask myself all the time do you feel like you need to be in a relationship not need is would life be better do you really believe that life would be better it's just always what you don't have right so it's like when you're single you look at a relationship as the answer when you're in a relationship that's not working you look at being single is the answer so would my life be better it depends on the person i've been in relationships where all you do is fight and you're depleted and you're exhausted would my my life be better then? No, of course not. And that's a hindrance to stand up and other things I want to do. And when you're in those relationships, you have no time for friends and other support systems. So no, you need- How do you deal with the judgment of

being relatively unsuccessful in relationships? Obviously, it's harder for women as they get older, but there is a certain type of judgment for a guy when you get to a certain age it's almost like a male biological clock where they're like what are you doing yeah and uh but to me it's more there it's the it's the thailand judgment the thailand judgment sure but i mean i most of my friends are either married mark norman was like my last kind of single, not single, but like unmarried friend. I have another, like one or two other friends who are single, but.

Look, you have my number. We'll fucking hit the town, man. You'll have your green tea. I'll have my drink. Yeah, I think. And I'll just go keep an eye on it. Keep an eye on the drinking. I think it's weird. There's a part of me that's

like another one bites the dust but then another part of me it's like oh shit i'm getting lonely out here like well i talked to bobby about this bobby lee about so david spades in his mid-50s not married and like is that a cautionary tale or a best case scenario you know what i mean i mean and i don't know he's having fun that's what i mean like i he he's a fucking hilarious great dude yeah the more your friends get married a little they're a little bit more unavailable they start families they have once they have kids there it's over it's tough so then the people you ask for relationship advice are worse and worse so the people that i'm asking now i'm like this guy's a fucking idiot and he's alone and some of them are alone by choice and others i'm like this dude doesn't know shit yes you don't want to be getting your relationship

advice from the same friend who shows up at your casino gigs just at the table, you know? So it's, so that's a problem at a certain point where you're like, this dude is not who I want to be, but I don't think he's a cautionary tale. I think he seems to be. Yeah. I don't, again, that's not him himself. I'm just being like the proverbial him, a person who's not married in their fifties and his kids have like, he's scratched that, that box. Right. doesn't have a kid check so and i'm sorry i keep mentioning him it's like the third time he's come up but but i but i'm of the mind that i'm like i just don't sometimes i think i my life would be improved but i want i'm trying to make my life as good as i can yeah with the assumption that i'm not gonna get married you feel like that's missing no i don't i'm in a tough position in that i don't want to feel like it's missing and i

don't want to feel like it's not missing there's like pitfalls in both directions if i'm like yeah i got it all like a lot of if i'm like yeah i got it all like a lot of remotes and like yeah i got this thing click and uh and it's like i don't need a wife i've got peacock so it's what's his name and tony robertson annie hall yeah like the guy's like ah there's a vpl one with the vpl vpl visible panty line i don't want to have a lot of remotes and at the same time i don't want to be like bereft and like i can't meet nobody yeah like and it may just be like the pick your poison thing yeah and i think the older you get like as like a single guy the the more shit you buy that single guy shit yeah like i got an

electronic couch that a woman's not coast i don't even know what that means it's just like you plug it in it's like it's a badass reclining couch it's really cool it's a couch yeah send me a link i'll send you a link it's killer you're gonna love it yeah all right so again a woman would have already shut this down she would have shut although if they sit in it though it's pretty cool like you know what it's a good cat uh not for nothing yeah um and yeah oh i've got more of those fucking things than i can you have a lot of gadgets i have so many gadgets i don't even i don't i forget that i have them and then i'm like oh yeah i had that i had that fucking uh suitcase that's got wheels

and an engine i made someone buy it for me but like i've got like the dumbest like anything you've seen where you're like that's stupid i'm i've already bought it sky mall single they call it sky mall single sky mall bachelor um yeah so we're both aware of it yeah but at the same time i know lots of guys that are married their couch is acoustic and it's i don't want that either yeah and also you know people in bad marriages like the people that say marriage is always the answer we see the people posting a million pictures of their wife yeah on on instagram terrified they're not happy yeah i've been in those relationships where you have to post the pictures and it's like that wasn't at a good moment in the relationship no that's another one of those things where it's like i think

i'm talking to myself now it's like just got to decide to be an asshole to a group of people yeah it's like i can either follow my own or i can follow yours and if i follow yours i'm and i don't like it i'm gonna be fuming i mean like culturally i don't mean like a specific woman yeah no i i also think like i get a thrill out of a challenge, you know? I mean, I think of it like if your life is this kind of, I don't want to say exciting is not the right word even, I mean, but there's so much stimulation in what we do, right? I mean, the road, the writing, the shows.

Like it's hard to come down. I want stability, but I also, there is a thrill to like meeting someone. Like that moment is almost more exciting than the relationship sometimes you know yeah and that someone would say it's a bit like that autism thing it's like oh it's because you're you just want sex and you want to conquest and all that stuff no it's more about the connection than the sex i used to have a joke about like i'm more into consent than the sex like i i want i

want to get like the yes and then i go home and i jack off and get eight hours yes yes yes yes it's a flawless connection at that point yeah you don't know anything about them but you think you know everything the fantasy is great yeah they're the dream person yes and then you get to know them and they start to be emotionally unavailable and they say can you not all the time and it's not as good but in that moment you're like this is the dream person yeah it's a shame we're romantics at the core i've been in love in the last year so she broke up with me so like and said i was too emotionally available too emotionally available oh you were too available yeah um which no one no no one sees coming i was just into it she we

were both in love taxi the taxi shows up no exactly so it started where she was like i just wanted to sleep with you and i was like okay and then we both like after three dates we're like oh fuck we're in love now and i wasn't upset about it she was moving there's a lot of mitigating circumstances but i was long distance no i mean malibu so yes um that's an la joke it's far yeah so i'm like i'm not against it yeah i just think it's so rare to find a relationship that really like lasts and is uh what i would like it to be yeah and and exactly and and there's so much pressure with marriage like it's till death if you look at these relationships, what am I? Supreme court justice. But if you look at these relationships, it's like two,

three years where you're like, those were a lot of really great times, you know? And I try to be positive and look back. I'm like, Oh, there were problems. That's why we broke up.

But like, damn, we had some great times, you know? Well, yeah. Yeah. A male female connection.

I would argue when it's working is the best thing on earth i wouldn't have the same one i know well no i'm saying that it's i'm talking about any feeling on earth orgasm killing yes i don't like skydiving i haven't skydived it i don't know have you played the den in chicago it's a good room i have um we have apparently we have good crowds i told you that yeah it's like yeah we're good well that's i think people know us from just jokes yes exactly that's what you want right yeah i would argue like that's the best feeling in the world i don't want to get a fucking shitty version of it because you've had the good version right because of some social pressure i just don't i'm like i

i'm sorry guys i've thought about it and i don't want to do it and people judge you for it although i don't think someone's forcing you to eat a shitty dessert yeah and it's like i've had the uh uh ice cream cone from McDonald's the day the thing worked. Yeah. But you know what I mean? Sure. That's my point of view. You want the best version of the thing.

Yeah. Or I don't want it. Exactly. Because I'm good without it. I got so many remotes. And I got my peacock. And I got my electric i got i got a new bed that's killer too uh from where it's someplace in the upper east side i got it from but it's like it's women called a hospital bed no it's fucking cool shit you do the so you got a crabmatic but like it's a really good one and it's i sleep with my legs elevated

it's good for the spinal alignment it's great oh that's so fucking funny do you do the fucking bone collector thing where you bring the do you eat there too like like what a poll a 90s yeah 90s middle of the road denzel movie that meme there's a meme of the bone collector yeah it's a fun one where it is a good one that's the that's the that one right the where denzel exhales uh that's i believe that's bone collector the meme is from um but you got like the hospital bed's a pretty sweet burn it is a it's a good burn it hurt i had a girl had that sweet burn on me one time uh we i broke up with her and she goes good luck finding someone to watch your old man documentaries with and by the way this is 15 years ago yeah

that's back when they weren't old man this is back when they were documentary but and i'm but i took that like thank you for wishing me that luck yeah because i'm not gonna not look for that i'm that's still who i'm looking for it's yeah but it's yeah now anyone will watch that shit no now they made it easy it's on it's on netflix and hulu you used to have to go off the beaten path yeah she never thought there'd be like a tiger king that could just no like a poppy fucking easy to follow like a tv show let's be honest yeah not this is not real documentary filmmaking no it's not your little morris that i know that's your that's your thing all right so final question which is what do you if there's a movie a samorelle biopic

who plays you and and i'm gonna for you i'm gonna open it up to Dead or Alive, who plays you. And I have an idea. Who do you got? John Cassell from Dog Day Afternoon, Godfather. Oh. Is it Max Cassell? Casselli, I think. John Cassell. Yeah, John Cassell.

Wow, I'll take that. That's one of the greats. Yeah, yeah. And he could feasibly play you. Yeah, he was one of my favorites. And died in his prime. Yeah. He was... This guy... meryl streep live with meryl streep godfather dog day afternoon deer back to deer hunter back

to back father two godfather two this guy's station the conversation this guy's this guy's putting up numbers dies i'm the biopic he makes for me is the only one that's not a best picture but my point my question for you is what's the story and what's the emotional character arc of the of the movie i hope the story hasn't started yet is what i would hope you're 36 i don't know i hope it's just getting started i don't as of now i don't know what it is uh what if you were died what if you died tomorrow what if i died to oof jeez it's so it's like probably a boring comedy thing i don't know oh it's just a boring like i started doing comedy but even what's that story It's got to be like, again, it doesn't have to be like,

and they said I'd never. Who's Neil Brennan? Who's playing Neil? There was a guy named Barry Pepper who said people said my nose looked like, of course, Henry Thomas. Who can forget Henry Thomas from E.T.? But he kind of looks like me now. Lucas Haas, he's a big ear brother um those guys

would be involved the story i don't i don't have a good story for a movie i feel like i'm you don't want to see a guy in a lakinta trying to crack a premise you know but that just sounds like a documentary i mean that's good but why don't they i don't i think it's like really like the straight story like it could just be like a simple story of a guy like to me you're just a story of like perseverance oh thanks man like um yeah maybe i mean geez we've hit so much comedy stuff but yeah probably it'd probably be comedy related and on the road. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know where it is. It's hard to distance myself away enough to look at myself.

I think you open with the YouTube. You open with the rejection. Yeah. And then you, I would make it about the last three years honestly all right i mean i i know nothing about your life yeah yeah um last three years uh you can focus on this stuff with taylor the difficulties of dating a female uh person in the same industry as you yeah um uh i'll call her I'll see if she's interested. She said she wants to do it. Oh, great.

So that could be a plot, subplot. Just difficulties with that. You like each other, but I don't think it's going to work. Let's focus on our thing. And then we do the rejection, shooting it, releasing it. It starts doing well. Roo well roofs and then all the people

that reject you the first time come back and ask you to dramatic scene i'm looking at the end of the roof and i'm just like i should just fucking jump of course yeah but it's john it's fucking john caselli yeah you understand what i'm trying to do dog day afternoon yeah um and then you and then your your your netflix special uh that i can't remember the name of same time tomorrow same time tomorrow a masturbation reference if i if i remember correctly uh comes out and does great to call back yeah yeah and it does great right yeah but it Casselli. His stand-up performances aren't great. They're not great. He never cracks it.

No, that's always a tough one. When you see a comic doing stand-up. But I'm sure that's an actor doing stand-up. Everyone in every field. Yeah, it's like watching an actor play baseball. And you're like, hmm. Yeah. Costner looked all right, though.

Yeah. Yeah. There's a few exceptions. Charlie Sheen actually played baseball. There's a few exceptions yeah charlie sheen actually played baseball there's a few yeah uh sam morrell it was my guest ladies gentlemen thank you for doing it thanks for having me it i hope you i hope you learned something about yourself peace man i'm done with therapy this is it Everybody wants to have it, wants to have it real, my man All you have to do is open, open up your hand, my man