Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Todd Barry
Episode Date: November 23, 2023Neal Brennan interviews Todd Barry (new special: Domestic Shorthair) about the things that make him feel lonely, isolated, and like something's wrong - and how he is persevering despite these blocks. ...---------------------------------------------------------- 00:00 Intro 6:23 Misophonia 19:00 Fear of Lightning/Storms 25:53 Hoarding 35:48 Diet 40:24 ADHD 44:00 OCD 51:42 Ruminating 1:04:26 What he’s done ---------------------------------------------------------- https://nealbrennan.com for tickets Watch Todd Barry's 'Domestic Shorthair': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UKuoreiI0a0 Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81036234 Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle ---------------------------------------------------------- Sponsors: MintMobile.com/NEAL for $15/month PLUS free shipping GameTime App Code: BLOCKS for $20 off your first purchase BetterHelp.com/NEAL for 10% off your first month DrSquatch.com/NEAL for 3 free bar soaps + free shipping Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hey everyone, it's me Neil Brennan, this is the blocks podcast my guest today is a known 30 years
known since i was probably 18 i don't know how old you were i was 18 as well and uh you were one
of the uh adults that i looked up again i thought you and louie and Maren and Sarah, I thought you were all incredibly successful adults.
Oh.
Looking back, I'm like, oh, they were just like starting out,
barely making a living.
Yeah, I mean, we all ended up doing pretty well.
Yeah.
But probably when you first knew me, I was not raking it in.
Not that I'm raking it in now.
You and Sarah lived in the same building on Second Avenue.
She did. She and I lived on the same building on second avenue she did she
and i lived on the end second set second avenue in saint marks we lived and uh yeah and i lived
on saint marks between second and third you did um pretty great uh anyhow let's get real specific
it was a great time um 11 saint marks is where i lived um look for it um todd berry is the guest everyone i don't we
don't talk i mean while we text but we you know why we text every couple years yeah if i'm doing
a show in new york you'll come i believe you've come to both my shows yeah i comped both no i
paid for the last one great so comped the first one comp comped three mics, paid for blocks. Thank you for the support.
And then we went out to dinner with Rock and my buddy Ezra Edelman,
the director, and they were hammering me with notes.
And I remember the look on your face like,
wow, they're really fucking hammering you.
I feel like I gave you one note after three mics,
and you actually tried it.
Yeah, I did, yeah. I don't even remember if it was good or bad. but I don't. And you actually tried it. Yeah, I did.
Yeah.
I don't even remember if it was good or bad.
It wasn't bad.
It was like a good idea.
You said, don't say I have one more joke.
Just go do it.
Oh.
And, but it was like the tension of saying I have one more.
It was like, was structurally nice.
Okay.
So thank you for the, thank you for the note.
I tried it.
And do you try notes?
I'll try notes if people give them to me.
Yeah. I mean, it's just, there's always that thing of like someone you don't know walking up I tried it and do you try notes I'll try notes if people give them to me yeah I
mean it's just there's always that thing of like someone you don't know walking
up to you hey do you take tags and you're like because the chances of it
being a good tag or me extremely slim yeah but you never know I mean I've had
I remember had a waitress at catch the old catch rising star and she just gave
me a note about there was like a logic error in my joke.
And I don't remember what the joke was,
but it was like, oh yeah,
you couldn't have done that and then done that.
Like, oh fuck, you're right.
A logic error seems like you're kryptonite.
You'd be like, oh fuck.
What am I even doing here?
That does you feel like, do I know how to talk?
Yeah, well you and I have something in common,
which is we both like a showroom to be a certain way.
You don't, you, we're both very sensitive to like,
that corner is being loud.
Oh yeah, yeah.
And like, before we get on, like, are they gonna do,
you and I are big, I'm like,
are they gonna do something about that?
I do that, yeah.
Sometimes, I mean, you couldn't misread a crowd
because some people settle down once the show starts.
But there are people, like, they're walking in,
and you're like, there's going to be a situation here.
Yeah.
All right.
But I don't know anything.
I know that you were a teacher in Florida.
I was a teacher in Florida, yeah.
Substitute teacher.
In New York.
Substitute teacher in New York.
It's brutal.
Is it significantly worse than Florida?
Yes.
Weirdly, like in Florida, at least they left you with a lesson plan.
Like the teacher would be like, hey, I'm not making it.
They're on this chapter now.
The lesson plan was fuck the students.
That's the Florida lesson plan?
No, it was actually better.
Have sex with the students.
It was better than New York.
Because New York just you just show
up and you'd be like i guess i'm a physics teacher today and they just you know you know the way it
is when there's a sub it's like yeah and if you got give me nothing to work with at some point i
just be like yeah it is gonna be a free day for you guys yeah i mean sometimes i would try to like
i'm gonna be a teacher and then i'd be what am I doing? The actual teacher didn't care enough.
Would you say that out loud?
Or would you just say it on the desk?
I'm going to be a teacher.
Raise my fists.
Where do you live now?
I live in New York.
I know, but where in New York?
Oh, in the village.
Great.
You live by yourself?
I do, with a cat.
Great.
Well, that's, all right.
Well, let me ask you this,
because it's not on your blocks list
which my my this my show was mostly about like the things i'm not doing correctly
how do you feel about never having been married um i mean i do have kids i am in a relationship
oh you are yeah i've had a girlfriend for almost two years okay what is your question the question
was that you blew me back you fucking created some distance you've established.
But like, you never got married, never had kids.
Did you ever like feel,
tell me your feelings and your arc on it.
I mean, marriage I'm open to, but the kids,
the ship has sailed, I believe.
And sometimes you just have little moments
where I see like, you know, a little kid go, Daddy, you know, like,
oh, my God, that must be beautiful.
But then you go to the airport and you watch what happens.
Like, oh, yeah, I know.
It seems like a nightmare.
Yeah.
So it was a fairly conscious, like,
it was just like a lifestyle choice.
Yeah, I mean, it's not something where I pronounced it,
but it just sort of evolved into, I guess guess this isn't happening but uh yeah and yeah
all right and you don't feel like you missed out on anything i just i mean i think ultimately
i mean having a kid you don't want to be like maybe i want a kid oh i oh i don't want a kid
and now i've got a kid yeah i, that's probably not the most original thought,
but yeah.
So,
I mean,
I just sort of evolved into like,
I never like walked around going,
I don't want kids.
I don't want kids.
But if you ask me,
I'd be like,
yeah,
I don't think I want kids.
Yeah.
And,
and did women ask you and then would that be the end of relationships?
No,
that's never happened.
That's never.
Really?
That's never.
For real? No, no, never happened. Really? For real?
No, no.
It really hasn't.
They knew instinctively that you were. They probably were like, I don't want to have kids with this guy either.
Yeah, great.
Good for you.
Beat him to the punch.
You take the desire from them.
All right, let's get into some.
Well, your first, you texted me a block on the way over.
Yeah.
Which was misophonia yeah it's just um
it's a particularly sort of when you get a rage reaction oftentimes to chewing sounds and eating
sounds and i have that and it's um do you have a like little mouth oh little mouth noises yeah i
mean a little gum chewing like to me when i go to the movies and there's someone walks in with a popcorn, I'm like, why do they serve popcorn in a movie?
Yeah.
It seems like the most bizarre.
I'm sure there's some stupid reason why.
Like the guy who owned a theater or his brother owned a corn, whatever.
But even in Broadway shows, you can buy Twizzlers and stuff.
Yeah.
Like chefs have this much respect for
well that's to say nothing of the rapper yeah oh i mean when i lived in florida you know there
were these matinees my i had friends who were in plays and stuff and they wouldn't make announcements
because these old people would like open up a sour ball and it'd take them like 15 minutes
and it's like can do you need to have candy when you're watching a play and yeah and but
they'd make it not specific announcement please don't open your sour balls particularly that's
the one that seemed to be the one that was harder to navigate that was a challenge like
cracking a safe but uh but you just need to yeah are you fucking serious yeah the thing with
because i've how long i've known you and like
how i picked your life before i met you you were in bands right i was in a few bands yeah a few
bands in florida when i think about you i think about you living in basically like a the all of
america being a cultural desert meaning to hear about bands in the 80s was like how it was all just like flyers
and word of mouth oh yeah yeah and and so i think about you in terms of even when we used i think we
probably used to go to movies sometimes in the early 90s of like in the afternoon or go to like angelica or and it's
like a different world now it's a completely different world that i don't even think people
would believe the world you inhabited at one point i mean just the technology what's available
yeah because i think about you going to a matinee of a play in Florida,
and I think about how difficult that must have been
for people to get the word out about a matinee play in Florida.
Yeah.
I remember a guy, even early in New York when I would do a solo show
and I'd get postcards printed up and I gave one to this guy.
He's like, that's the East Village handshake.
I used to get postcards printed up. I'd be like this guy he's like that's the east village handshake it's kind of like i used to get postcards printed up and yeah like here's a postcard for my yeah but yeah i mean it is crazy and i mean i remember when someone explained napster to me
i was like that can't be a real thing like i mean every song well just explain the idea of like
oh you can grab someone's music off their computer like what do you even mean by that yeah nuts yeah because i think about you as like in like i just think about you in like paul
westerberg or like the just bands that i was too i missed because by the time whatever um
okay so the how does the misophonia wreak havoc on your life if it does at all well it's just a thing
where especially with new people because you don't want to say to someone i've told people
friends like you you can't eat like that like where it's just so it's like i can choose to be
possibly offensive and have a ruined dinner yeah it's yeah how do i handle this do i ruin this but
it it's like,
it's also the roughest is in like dressing rooms,
backstage dressing rooms.
Um,
that's where dressing rooms generally are.
Where like,
it's a comic I don't know. And then you need to see him reach for that carrot.
And you're like,
Oh God,
here we go.
That crunch.
It just echoes.
It just,
Oh,
but I will often,
you know,
I,
I try not to be like directly dealing with it.
I'll just kind of like, I think I'm just going to sit in this other dressing room and eat.
You know, I'm going to get ready for my show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm crazy.
And not listen to you eat.
Yeah, a lot of life is pretending that you're the problem.
Or if you get on a plane.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, oh, I'm weird.
Yeah.
I don't like people bumping into me i make an incredibly loud eating noises yeah i mean that and um whistling
whistling interesting like something you know something i mean i've been to coffee shops where
the barista is whistling it's like the combination of what coffee does to your nerves combined with
whistling yeah and plus an espresso
machine yeah well that doesn't bother me for some reason are you disgusted by human mouths
it is because a good yeah that's a good question because i've seen videos of like a panda eating a
carrot i could watch that all day long so is it the is it i know there is something so um decadent about human human just like
you ever see kroll's bit about uh people eating in the 70s in movies it's the character i call
a 70s eater eater so goddamn funny but there is something funny about how just like yeah i got chips
and i'm sitting there's some as it's as much of like uh as much as about sound it's about like
what do you who do you think you are right right yeah i mean that's also the thing of like licking
your fingers that drives me crazy it's like someone eating wings
yeah like yeah you can just grab your napkin go whoop you're done what are you getting that last
little drip of sauce in your mouth are you enjoying that yeah it's like it's like what an
what an animal would do but not but it's not cute animals animals have an excuse that's the thing
like the panda getting back to the panda of course i you know the panda is not being like you can't tell the panda hey can you take it down in a couple of
you're being ridiculous it's like oh that's the way they're supposed to eat but and you consider
the zoo the panda dressing room right you still you've always considered that the panda's dressing
room uh and what do you do about it not just like me, eh. I mean, I try to avoid it.
Yeah, duck out.
Occasionally, I will hit it head on or just say, I want to eat by myself.
Okay, here's a question.
In relationships with women, how soon do you like to roll out your stuff, your blocks, as it were?
Well, it's interesting.
My first date with my girlfriend, my girlfriend now, we were talking. It was going really well. And then somehow I brought up, I have misophonia and she just lit up.
Yeah.
It was like, holy shit, I've been looking for, like, I know she said, I've been looking for someone with misophonia, but just like, I have the same thing. And I, oh my God.
And is it, does it line up pretty easily? Like, are there things like, does the the panda bother her has she passed the panda test
i don't know if i've sent her the panda character video but i will as soon as we're done here yeah
but that i remember that was a big moment where we both like feel relieved because also then you're
like i'm gonna be eating with this person yeah when she licks her fingers if she were to in the
unlikely event she licks her fingers are you more likely to give her some grace?
I got to say that's never happened.
She's very, she's a great eater.
Great.
But in some ways you're right to a lot of relationships are just like mutual dislikes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it was, I think that's kind of a specific one and it's probably something she's walked around with and not everyone gets it or even knows what it is and then to hear me bring it up on a first date of all places
i don't know how i came up on a first date but uh but yeah i mean i couldn't imagine i see couples
like eating across from each other and they're both both eat like pigs uh-huh and you're just
like i guess it's good you guys found each other but it's also weird when
one of them does and the other does it's like that's who you live with yeah i mean again that's
most relationships it's like that's who you like how are you doing this yeah yeah um but again but
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Am I right?
John Fogerty, he was one of the, in the 80s, there were a lot of songs about baseball.
And I think he made one of them.
John Fogerty, I believe he sang Put Me in Coach.
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today last minute tickets lowest prices a gaga gaga gaga gaga gaga gaga okay this is one i didn't
see coming because you don't know anyone fear of lightning slash storm yeah pretty good pretty i
thought when i was writing these blocks I think he's going to like these
who else is showing up with the lightning one
yeah that's the first
that's a lot of people
anyone can fear confrontation
yeah takes a real blockhead
to fear lightning go on
it's something
I've had for
as long as I can remember
I don't remember.
There's no incident where like, oh, that was the day I got struck by lightning.
Yeah.
But I remember this job.
My first job was at a country club in Florida, South Florida.
Sure.
Where I had this dream job in a way.
I always wanted jobs where I was alone and I didn't have to work with anyone, which makes sense now. But I had this job taking care of the clay tennis courts. You'd get on a
golf cart, you'd have a brush behind you, and you brush and you smooth them out, and then you do it
twice a day. And I remember it paid like $3.50 an hour, which back then was way above minimum wage.
But then there was lightning. I couldn't deal with it. And i just well florida there's there's lightning almost every day uh you know it's been a while since
i lived there but it's uh it was brutal and i just was like i can't do this but i mean i've
had it it's it's an issue away a lot of good money yeah i mean yeah what do you do you like
do you is it in your body is it where is the fear um yeah definitely feeling in my body and it's also a
thing where like i mean the reason it's more debilitating than it might sound is that you know
if i'm somewhere and i'm looking at the weather and i just see that lightning bolt you know three
o'clock you see that lightning bolt in the forecast i get a physical reaction and i've also
if it sometimes i mean i maybe i'm making myself sound crazier than I actually am, but it's too late for that.
Sometimes if it just looks like it might storm, like then you end up taking like, I'm going to take an Uber to my $25 set and spend $20.
Yeah.
And then you're kind of like, and then it doesn't lighten at all.
And you're like, oh, I could have just walked that.
Somebody owes me money.
But when I see people walking like in a storm and just like, do, do, do't i mean because technically not technically but it is dangerous yeah it's an actual legit thing to i
don't i'm i haven't ruled out that the fact that i could be struck by lightning yeah do you know
what i mean like i don't i don't know why why wouldn't i be struck by lightning it's it's not
i don't think it never happens.
I don't think it happens very often.
But if you're walking in a lightning storm, first of all, it's pouring rain.
So right there, I don't want to be there.
And the fact that just like an adding, just like literally a lightning bolt,
just a random like you and you,
that tree, that fucking power line.
And the thunder really makes it just a little more ominous.
Really drives the point home.
Exactly.
It's a highlighter for the lightning.
Yeah, it really makes it.
Yeah, I mean, so there's times like,
I remember there was my old apartment.
It was one of those like speed cameras
that just like flashed every once in a while.
Yeah.
And if it was like stormy out or it seemed like it might be stormy i would jump at that because
i would think that was lightning well how do you feel about uh sirens i feel like in new york i
mean maybe i shouldn't say this they feel like they're a little louder than they need to be but
i totally agree and also that air horn that yeah it's just so harsh but i'm also not a fireman's
a firefighter so i I shouldn't. Right.
My, you know, have you ever thought about Asperger's?
I have.
Have you considered Asperger's? I don't, but I'm also, I don't think, I mean, I might be Spectrum-y.
I don't know.
Probably.
Now that everyone is, right?
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
Yeah.
That's the, I remember, because it's sensitivity to noise is like a really big one yeah and
sensitivity to fabric is a big one you know i have that sometimes too a little bit what have we here
ladies and gentlemen this is the first podcast slash diagnosis i got diagnosed on a podcast
really for what for autism oh do you think you, the guy said, uh,
Scott Barry Kaufman is the guy's name.
I have a test here and I'm not going to say what this is a test of,
and people at home try to guess what it's a test of.
He diagnosed me for,
um,
covert narcissism and I got double.
I'm a double winner.
And then he recommended a test for autism.
The lowest you can get and be considered autistic is 26,
26.
Oh,
so you're just,
I'm on the spectrum,
whatever spectrum disorder,
whatever the fucking,
but I feel like if I'd answered two questions differently,
I wouldn't be.
So it's like,
is it like a real precise test or is it just kind of like,
there's no blood tests.
There's no like here.
So I'm going to go,
I'm going to go ahead and diagnose you.
All right,
here we go.
For free.
Because the test was expensive. Oh, I'd love to save this money diagnose you. All right, here we go. For free, because the test was expensive.
Well, I'd love to save this money and just get it right here.
Yeah, I'll save you the money right here.
You got it.
You think so?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Asperger's or do you think just?
That I don't know.
It's all spectrum.
It's all autistic personality spectrum.
What exactly is the fabric thing? Is is like rubbing up against you you don't
like certain fabrics make you nuts like you can't you you get if you if you touch them
you like can't focus i don't think i have that i have it when sometimes my clothes sticking to me
but well that yeah that i mean that's why i don't like cold weather because of the humiliation of static flying where it's just constantly like,
it's like you can't get jackets and fucking,
it's pretty disgusting.
And so it will affect your plans.
That's wild.
That thunder and lightning will affect your plan.
Yeah, I mean, I've also-
And again, it sounds like,
well, you let it affect, but I get it.
Yeah, no, I mean, I pretty much own it. well you let it affect but i get it it's a yeah no i mean i pretty much own it you know it's like because also it's like what is
someone going to do like get lightning and throw it at me or something right yeah there's nothing
to lose by saying i'm afraid of like but i've run away from people who i'm walking down the street
with and great but i say i explain it explain it, I'm afraid of storms,
I've gotta go.
Oh, you like quickly say before you streak off.
Yeah, I mean, I was out with my girlfriend
and some of her friends,
and we were in this restaurant in Brooklyn in a patio,
and we heard like little rumbles,
and I was like, I hate to do this, but I gotta go inside.
And they're like, no, let's go inside.
They were very like, what you want in that situation?
Instead of like- They were like, do you have mesophilia? They weren't like, what the fuck's wrong with you? They were like, yeah, let's go inside they were very like great what you want in that situation they were like do you have mesophilia they weren't like what the fuck's wrong with them like let's yeah let's go
inside great that's yeah it sounds like you're with the right lady i'm sure it still won't work
but just because that's how relationships are but but you know are you with someone now
am i allowed to ask you no no i mean no is is no. Number two, didn't know this either, hoarding.
Oh, yeah, wow.
Hoarding.
That's not easy where you were living.
Not a lot of room to hoard.
I know, I know.
Although high ceilings in that building, I remember.
Oh, I mean, I have really high ceilings now, but I also, my problem is I, well, I mean.
You live in a hoarder's loft they call it
it is lofty but it's it's um i just i am not wired to be organized and i am i definitely have
hoarder town i'm not like you know like i need to save this pizza box forever like i'll throw
the pizza box out sure but you'll keep the wax? I'll keep the pizza.
There's like a little crust. I'll keep that forever. Sure. But I mean, I'll find things
that are just like, I'll be walking around my kitchen. I'll find like a business card. Someone
gave me like 25 years ago, like, how'd this end up next to my sink? And how did it, Todd?
I probably put it there, but I- And do you then not see it anymore?
What do you mean?
All right, the guy gives you a business card in 1998.
Yeah.
And then you put it in your pocket.
That I might throw out.
Okay.
That I might throw out.
I mean, I've gotten...
When I moved, I moved a few months ago, and it was a TV, and I'm doing a sub-lens or a TV,
and I actually threw out my slightly broken plasma TV.
Yeah. And it's not easy to do.
But I like, it is kind of broken.
And then once you do it, it's not like I'm going, I miss my TV.
So Sarah, the aforementioned Sarah, I have this big CD rack that has like 800 CDs on it.
And she came by to look at my new apartment.
She's like, oh, you I gotta get rid of those CDs.
Sarah Silverman.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And she's right,
but I can't do it.
CDs,
a technology that you do not use.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No,
you can,
there's no,
I'm going to lose the argument if we just do it.
If we play this thing out,
we game this out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And what,
well, tell me your
what's your argument i don't i mean it's i don't know because hoarding i think comes
can it come from trauma but i don't i didn't have a particularly traumatic life yeah
well i think there's also something to be said for like people just come out with pre-existing
yeah yeah that's true it could be just an in,
I mean, my mom had it a little bit.
She was a bit of a-
That's always a fairly good indicator.
Yeah, yeah.
She, I mean, probably not as bad,
but she saved stuff.
And then my dad was,
when she passed away,
he just bulldozed through the-
I had a, I have a,
it's not a hoarding issue,
but it is like,
I don't know what to, I don't like just throwing it in a
landfill i feel like an asshole just be like you take it earth like fucking here's my shit enjoy it
and there's a decadence that i don't like about it that i will if you want to argue that i'll
support you like this so you're just gonna throw away a bunch of plastic
and whatever the discs are made of there's also sometimes throwing away stuff that's like
you know i don't end up with two dish racks i don't need two dish racks but i can just throw
something that's perfectly good dish rack right but it's also like what am i gonna do like bring
it to the salvation army and yeah i guess i could
yeah i'd be a little weird just walking got a dish rack for you guys where's your dish rack section
i'm gonna say 75 cents on this fairly clean but yeah i mean i have storage units and
here we go yeah there yeah storage units of stuff that you can't throw away.
I know.
Like I was thinking, there's some of this stuff, a lot of this stuff I'm never going to see for the rest of my life.
Uh-huh.
But I'm saving it.
I think I have this mythic day that I'm going to sit down with.
I mean, I've hired home organizers many times.
I should say that.
I had a female friend just at my old place go like, she was staying there for a week.
And she's like, I'm hiring an organizer organizer i'm getting rid of half the shit and i was like all right and i don't
even know what she got rid of and i don't miss any of it and i don't yeah i mean yeah the home
organizer has been very helpful but i still i have too much stuff man i dish you have a bunch
of dish racks in a store i actually did i think i i think sometimes i just was like fuck i am gonna throw away a dish rack it's perfectly good i don't know
what else to do with it i'm throwing it away and then you're feeling all right i fucking did does
that feel like i'm a fucking healthy person yeah that does feel good and yeah i mean often i get
sentimental about things and then i give them up and i don't really you know even like that apartment i
lived in with sarah i live this is kind of a shithole mice and everything and i lived there
a long time like over like 18 19 years yeah and i was like i'd be like i'm gonna stay there's my
you know the first of all it's easy to just sign a lease and renew rather than move yes so there's
that i will give myself that credit.
But I remember thinking, oh man, I like my little apartment.
And it's like, it's got mice.
Bro.
So, and then I've moved out and I left and I just like took a few pictures of the place.
Yeah.
Which I don't even know where they are.
Probably in the storage.
I'm fine.
You know, I like that.
Also, what, how much are you paying for the storage units?
Which of the four storage units?
Fucking Christ.
Right there, dude.
This is juicy stuff for you, man.
These are juicy blocks.
It's got to be several hundred dollars a month.
Yeah, it is.
It is.
And you're just willing to eat it, even not knowing what's in it.
You know what the problem is?
Because I think I'm ADHD, which I put on my list.
Sometimes it's just, I don't know where to begin.
Yeah.
I mean, I know there's that thing, where do I start?
Start somewhere with like writing or something.
Yeah.
But I mean, I try.
And I think there is just a thing, an ADHD thing where you're just like i'll look at my
i remember when i lived in on the lower east side i want so i gotta clean my table my desk here
i gotta do that and like there was a building being built like and i watched like 15 stories
of this building be built before i cleaned my table i was like oh they're building like a
perfect passage they're building
a 600 room hotel and i can't just straighten out my desk but i think i mean it's wiring it's um
it's wiring it's your why do you think it's wiring uh yeah i i it seems like
if it's it just seems like aren't you cheap also me yeah no oh okay i just i just assume
meaning like well you mentioned spending 25 for 20 or 20 for 25 dollars that like i assume you're
like want to hold on to your money oh i mean i certainly i'm careful sometimes but then i'll
put a ridiculous amount on lunch blow it out you know why don't
i just spend fucking 30 for a chicken caesar salad you know yeah because you're in la yeah
yeah i don't i want someone to close down your storage units i mean i need i like i want them
to do like a hoarders episode but i'm having said that i've only watched like promos
for hoarders and it makes me yeah i mean it's really it's sad yeah i mean i'm not that level
where yeah like hoarders if they were scouting it would be like yeah not does anyone ever say
i'm pretty bad it i feel like everyone goes i'm not i'm not like fucking that one lady they uh
i used to do a great bit about oh morganizer i forgot it though But anyway, just as long as I let you know, it's great.
You've forgotten more good bits than you're ever going to write.
What was your question?
My question is, what are we going to do about your storage units?
I guess, I mean, I feel like I have this vision of like,
like I have a storage unit in Florida also.
Is that fifth?
Is that a fifth one?
Would that be a fifth or that's the fourth well i mean i have
storage in my building i have this other storage it's like they came and picked some stuff up
i have another storage unit so three or four maybe unbelievable i know it is it's kind of
crazy multiple states yeah yeah yeah i had this vision of like uh just going into a football
field and dumping all my storage unit stuff, just going through it.
I don't know if anyone can arrange that, but does anyone own a football field and a really big blanket?
Yeah.
But I mean, no, you're right.
And the money is just kind of.
Just hemorrhaging.
Yeah, it is hemorrhaging, yeah.
And why?
You know what I mean?
Spending on something else.
But then there's part of me that, because the thing is like with organized,
with messy people,
some messy people are actually more organized.
I get that.
You know,
like the guy who's like,
hey,
you moved my salt shaker three inches to the left.
Yeah.
Might not be as organized.
The guy with the messy desk is like,
I don't remember what it is.
It's under this magazine here.
Yeah.
It's under the business card from 1998.
It's under the business card from that,
from a half a bottle of hotel shampoo. From from a from an embassy suite that no longer exists well what do
you what do you make of this is a kind of a broader question but do you think your approach to life
is good is it just like do you think everyone's just like i'm just doing i just got this car and i'm
just trying to drive it i'm not you don't like is your approach can you do you have any agency
over your own life or are you just like i'm fucking doing my best and let's see what happens
or do you improve do you do you create personal uh goals lifestyle changes, and do them?
Yeah, definitely.
Yeah.
I mean, I've started to exercise a little more.
Right.
Although when I'm on the road, I'm almost not at all.
Yeah.
But yeah, I definitely try to improve my life.
I mean, some things are just like constant diet.
It's just like I don't eat well.
That's surprising. I mean mean i eat better than some
people i am somewhat aware of what i'm eating but i don't have like a shake and fries and the big mac
but i will have the fries and the shake no and then yeah also the big mac but like an hour later
i consider you intelligent so do you like like well-read. I consider you,
you watch all the documentaries.
Yeah, I watch all the documentaries.
But I'm saying,
do you,
it seems like you'd be fastidious about
like optimization,
but maybe you're just not.
I am.
I mean,
I,
you know, I'm pretty good about making
doctor appointments to check stuff out sure uh yeah i mean i i'm gonna try to i'm contacted a
psychiatrist about adhd and great i mean i don't know i could do at this point in my life but
yeah because i'm kind i went to one guy who was kind of like there's i think there's a lot of
feel goods in this area sure where they kind of where you just go hey i kind of aren't organized okay here's my pad yeah well i looked
up why they're so good about so like uh sort of slutty about prescriptions yeah is because one of
the reasons is there was a guy in the 60s who was in a mental hospital uh for bipolar and they and manic depression and
they didn't give him medication as like a test uh-huh like let's see yeah and he got out and
then sued them and won because it's like you can't not give people shit if they tell you their
symptoms right so now they're just all kind of like yeah whatever you can't not give people shit if they tell you their symptoms right so
now they're just all kind of like yeah whatever you need i'll give it to you yeah this just seemed
like a quick assessment you didn't really i don't know i feel like there should be like a 700 word
700 question test or something yeah i mean it's all i mean the more you
any everything's real ramshackle.
Every single human endeavor is... For the ADHD, all I want to do is
I would like to have a little pill that I take
to clean my apartment.
I don't want to be on something
before I was a dad.
I have no opposition to being on something.
What do I care?
Yeah.
I don't know. I'm on food. I'm on caffeine i'm on food i'm on whatever all right
i'll be on something hey so we all know the holidays is tough time for our mental health
because we have to deal with uh so so much family and the feelings of loneliness not enough you know
my wheelhouse plus santa just santa santa's out there thinking about what Mrs. Claus is going through,
let alone the reindeers who he tortures.
But adding something new to your life can counteract some of those feelings.
Therapy can be a bright spot amid all the stress and change.
It can be something to look forward to, to make you feel grounded,
and to give you the tools to manage everything that's happening.
Again, dude, how much more could I talk about therapy?
It's impossible. Again, I do, how much more could I talk about therapy? It's impossible.
I believe in therapy.
I've gained a ton from therapy
and I want the same for you.
You don't have to be traumatized.
You don't have to have like a thing like,
I was, this happened to me.
So now otherwise I wouldn't come.
Just go.
No one's worse off for having gone to therapy.
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if you're listening to this podcast,
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that's it's all the same thing i think that in hoarding and an ocd there's definitely a
crossover and no woman has ever said you have to stop hoarding oh i mean my girlfriend now is yeah
i mean it definitely is something that frustrates her yeah what's a fight about it sound like i'll
be her no but i'm saying do you know what I mean? That's me.
Do you get quiet?
Do you sulk?
How do you argue?
Are you passive aggressive?
I don't think I'm passive aggressive, but I'm definitely not a screamer or a yeller.
I've definitely driven people crazy in the past who like, I stay calm and they're like,
oh, you're used to freaking out.
People freak out.
I'm going to disappoint you.
Yeah.
I'm never going to freak out. Because I'm going to listen.
I mean, I'm not perfect, obviously,
but I think I remain calm and try to stay logical.
But I can be out of my mind also.
Irritated or incredibly angry?
I get little frustrations.
There's things that make me particularly angry like if i lose something like my keys or something it might be
i don't yell and scream but i'm clear it might not be great to be around me when i lost my keys
interesting i'm not gonna punch the wall i'm not gonna yell at you i'm not gonna take it out you're
just i can see like whirling dervishes.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
You just see the.
Yeah.
Like drill a hole wherever you're standing with your energy.
Right, right.
All right.
And then, of course, OCD.
Who can forget OCD? Yeah.
Do you have any OCD issues?
I don't think I do.
I don't.
I'm trying to think of what I.
I don't think. Give me some examples of yours and maybe i do well i mean something often i mean this might be adhd also but
like if i take something out of the dryer and drop it on the ground i'm like like i've gotten better
like i used to just like throw it back in the wash i'd be like i'm not gonna and then i said you know a sock on the ground for four seconds it's not even four seconds
it's probably not dirty still but just so that kind of thing would be like me go
but then i get up a few weird ones where like i'll get like a i'm not like a basket case on this but
like one that i've had a few times lately is where i'll be in a store
and i'll want to know what something costs even though if i'm not interested in like
to see something that doesn't have a price tag and it drives me crazy they don't have a price tag and
you look at every size tag to see if any of them have a price tag i've done that before
will you then like demand to know how much no no no i mean a lot of this stuff i check myself and i'll be like
all right just fucking like you know like with the dropping something on the ground on the ground
like i'm pretty i'll be like but i will you know it's not going to ruin anyone's day or my day but
you don't have to go home go home like you don't have to like yeah i don't have any ocds
like i'm trying to think of i feel like maybe i'm forgetting one but i don't i don't yeah i don't
know i have them with numbers a little bit things that are numerical just like i remember i did a
movie and the guy was telling todd barry's in the wrestler by the very good wrestler what's
the matter did they raise the price of tights i did one of my movies i can't remember which one
but i but i remember the guy was explaining what they were paying for like i don't know
per diem or something and i was like it wasn't quite like on this day you get it and i really
was like asking a lot of questions about it because it was driving me crazy yeah not that i was like it's all like i was being ripped off or anything i'd be more apt
to think i was being ripped off yeah like i would be like wait but it is a most of what people
consider like pains in the ass or freak outs it's just someone dealing with some weird mental process that they can't like you they were probably like
that's this fucking guy buddy it's 55 but you were and it's not like about the 55 right um
you i mean you blow that on storage i in an hour but i'm saying a bagel for that much i mean please
um but yeah i don't i yeah i have
i don't think i have any ocds trying to think if i have any other fun ones
yeah i mean there there's times yeah well i'll just get compulsion to buy something that i don't
really want and can't think of an example but so i like razors and vacuums, but I don't buy. I like them.
I could look at vacuums on Amazon for a long time and razors.
I don't know if this is real.
I went through my shaving phase where I got a single blade razor.
Yep.
And I got into shaving cream.
And then, yeah, that frequent flyer miles oh oh there
you go i'm i could almost say my balance on most airlines right now yeah my my marriott bonvoy
yeah i'll call i'll call about my in fact i got an ongoing thing right now with the jw marriott
in houston about a credit and they didn't give me and they wanted me to reauthorize a credit card and i'm
like i fucking gave it to you twice but again this is why do i care i don't know i because i don't
i don't i may not even use them i just want the mile sometimes you just yeah it's a real good
hit refresh see if they see if they kick they kicked in right yet for the flight like fly United, now they give you your miles as soon as you land.
Yeah, American's real good.
Bonvoy, yeah.
Well, but sometimes you'll go on and they'll give you the baggage claim.
Don't bother, give me the miles.
Meaning they'll tell it like you just landed.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they're like, well, you're bagging.
And you're like, I don't care.
I don't do baggage.
Do you ever complain to airlines?
I think i've
written maybe an email yeah i'm having a real ongoing thing with marriott bonvoy what did they
do now let me see if i can help you well they aren't they are very inconsistent about credit
if you get it on a uh expedia or whatever they give you no credit if somebody here's the one that I had to go to the
mats the mattresses for okay so I'm doing a commercial in Mexico City I'm doing a commercial
in Mexico City I'm the director I can decide where the 10 members of the crew are going to stay I pick a Bonvoy Hotel and I get no credit for it for 11 nights.
No credit because it wasn't on my credit card.
The amount of business I brought them is staggering.
I once got in an argument with Hilton, or I had a feud with Hilton, about this thing.
If you're just joining us, it's the worst podcast of all time.
It's, hey, welcome to Petty Town.
But they, yeah,
because they didn't give me credit
because someone else paid for it.
I go, an airline,
when someone buys you a plane ticket
and you get the miles,
he's like, we're not an airline.
Okay.
Yeah.
Well, it could be nicer.
Marriott has the same policy.
Infuriate.
And I explained to them,
I'm responsible for 10 reservations for 11
nights and you won't whose credit card was it the production company oh or like gatorade it was
gatorade oh so somewhere gatorade is fucking living the high life right now i had a thing i
don't know if you've ever had this in the hotel where you know oftentimes our hotels are paid for yeah and 80 of the time you show up to like oh what i go someone's paying
for this room i don't see anything in the system and like that happened the other night and i kind
of got like little i don't i don't get snippy with people because i i just don't but i approached
visible like frustration because then it's just like you don't understand this is
the 80th time yeah in two months that this has happened yeah and it's just like why why just
why can't they work that it's it's because human beings are involved and they're it's and we're
just we're not great we're just not great that's my conclusion is like human error now i get pissed at like policies
like at the at at a at a marriott bonvoy hotel in new york they won't i know they're not going
to give me credit if i do it on through through expedia or whatever but they do give you credit
if you do it through american express sometimes right sometimes and the front desk told me to re re up on American Express I
and they and then the front desk told me and I didn't get points infuriating and I will not stand
for it there's nothing we can do about it Todd it's Chinatown forget it Jake it's Chinatown
I wish the whole podcast were about I mean i think we found a franchise 30 minutes just
on marriott i think we found a franchise where we where people call in and we put them on hold of
course and then we say their call is important to us and then we never get to them um ruminating
help me help me with ruminating you have that my my life is one long rumination it's ruined i mean i who knows
what i could have been in life if i weren't still arguing with people for i'm arguing with every if
we get into an argument it's never over i'll be on my best behavior. Well, no. I mean, honestly, it's over, but rarely do I forget.
Really?
And again, yeah.
And sometimes it is vengeful and petty.
Other times it's just like if I don't understand it or if I feel like it's unresolved and it often feels unresolved, I will argue.
I've made the joke before my goal it's me and Chappelle's mutual goal my goal is on his deathbed his final thought is
Neil was right like that and right and vice versa like I I there are people in my life that I it's
an ongoing like no just because they they wronged you and never
came clean or they were not even wrong it's just sometimes sometimes it's like wronged is probably
too strong a word just a different like with Dave it's just like a difference it's like a difference
of I don't even know what I want him to think I'm right about everything basically but i'm in the middle one right now let's hear it can you can't you can't
do it okay but i'm i'm it's emails friday we're recording this on monday email with somebody
uh thursday friday and i'm still pouring over it in my head yeah it's uh i heard someone say
something recently where they're talking about disagreeing with him.
Sometimes it's just all right to let someone be wrong.
And I thought that was an interesting, I mean,
you don't always want someone to be wrong because wrong could be a lot of
things.
Wrong could be murdering someone.
Right.
But sometimes it's just like, well, yeah, just.
Yeah, how can I?
I'm never going to convince them.
Right, so let them have this.
Yeah.
Yeah, so that's kind of something to think about but i ruminate i often it's usually something i wish i had said and then and then it's
like it's too late to uh you know and my therapist would say it's never too late but i i would
disagree with her wait it's never too late like if it's like i'd tell you know i said i should have said something about this and uh and then uh well you can still tell you can still say something it's like yeah
i'm not then you're like so you're basically encouraging me to start an argument right like
you sound like a crazy person yeah we're just like a restaurant and going like uh there's another
thing we didn't know but but that i mean i ruminate over yeah
missed opportunities of of just saying something like oh i should have said that yeah but the
perfect thing to say that's the french have a saying for it i don't know what the it's the
the wit of the staircase uh it's a esprit de scala i believe is the the poor french pronunciation
but they i've clearly i've thought about a lot of this i've looked it
up i've got the french shit like they it's a it's a real issue and and i also had the
i'm obsessed with fairness um which might be a little autism uh somebody was telling me like
i just understand literal things like well
no you said this therefore it has to be this and it's like or we made this agreement how could you
possibly violate like it just spins me out like just gets me in a in like a like the the computer
loop of like the bouncing ball um but i've had the thought recently i can keep i can stand in front of the
restaurant and picket it or i can just go to a different restaurant right but it's real hard to
for me to pack it in yeah i mean sometimes i mean i think my therapist used this
something about there's an expression about justice people who are into justice
I wish I remember what it was
what like there's a type of
like you're just justice obsessed person
or something like that yeah I'm upset I
really have Chappelle one time said I've never
met someone more obsessed with justice than you
I can't I'm like
but it ends up becoming like
emotional vigilantism
where I can't believe that person
think that I need to correct it.
And I want even the, when we end this, I have to, I have a phone call with a friend to talk
about the thing I, the problem I'm having with somebody and to make sure my friend knows
what that, what what happened and just like
this is a giant waste of human resources do you ever have this kind of this is my worst kind of
nightmare where something gets resolved in your dream and then you wake up and it wasn't realized
oh that was a dream i've never i've if you just remind remind me when you said like i'm sorry or
on the deathbeds and you were right yeah like I'll have a dream where someone's going, yeah, man, I fucked.
Yeah, you were right about that thing.
And you have this great dream, and then you wake up, and you're like, I'm back in this
feud that I was in.
That's so fun.
My dreams are literal and the most poorly written.
I fucking, do you ever have good dreams?
I never have good dreams.
Never had a good dream in my life.
I don't even know.
I never, I don't know what, when people say sweet dreams,
I've literally said, what are you talking about?
I don't even know how that's, like, what do you mean?
Sweet dreams, like, my grandfather was there.
What do you, what?
My grandfather was like a fucking alcoholic, illiterate monster.
Like, you know what I mean?
Like, there's no so- so and ah yeah it's all
it's the mitch hedberg i hate to dream because dreaming takes energy i lay down on a bed it
feels great next thing you know i have to build a go-kart with my ex-landlord
just like dream logic of like what what what is this what is this nonsense yeah i don't know and i've looked up rumination a lot and um
no one seems to have a good i mean remedy there's a quick fix that i saw i think on tiktok
which is i mean basically you start ruminating you know you know in your heart that you're
ruminating and you're not like i need to really think about this which just like i've got sometimes i'll say to myself you've given this enough energy you know i mean like
for six months you've been thinking about this one exchange you have with someone that you wish
went differently you you can just move it along well with the you know now the funny thing is I haven't seen your newest hour,
which is called.
Domestic Shorthair.
Domestic Shorthair.
Came out today.
Came out today.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Most of your act, as I recall it, was interactions with stupid people.
They are, yeah.
I realized that at some point.
I never thought of myself as a storyteller,
but a lot of it is just like, this guy said something down to me.
Yeah, let's take that down.
So it is a rumination.
It's like you've made a good living
off of rumination in a weird way.
But the quick fix I heard was basically,
it sounds overly simplistic,
was basically do anything else.
Like you find yourself ruminating,
start singing a song.
Just snap yourself out of it
okay i mean that's it's kind of easier said than done but yeah i mean the other the other thing
that i've realized is like all these things i'm ruminating about i mean some of it is does end up
with it you end up writing a joke that happens sometimes but i'm ruminating over the same eight things for fucking 30 years you know what i mean like
constant that i'm thankful for some of them just got retired parents shit like that like
i just like yeah but other ones are so uh endless that it's
such a waste of my life.
Yeah, I've had people who maybe did something
that pissed me off and then I kind of
privately make peace
with them. I don't go, hey, it's cool.
With yourself.
Yeah, within your own chambers.
I'm not going to give this person dirty looks every time I run
into them or something. Right.
Not that I've had a lot of feuds or anything, but
it's happened. Look yeah yeah i don't i do need i need help it's probably the biggest area
i need help in wow of all look i have look guys i don't not only do i cover blocks i have them
uh no i it's like very it's my ocd it's's compulsive. It's chronic.
It's first thing in the morning.
It's last thing I think about.
So is it stuff like an incident that happened like 20 years ago?
They're not 20, but they can be three.
They can be two.
They can be yesterday.
They can be five.
Yeah, sometimes I the the little rumination
bounce around we're just kind of like i'm gonna let me check my my my crap oh yeah
fucking guy that said something stupid to me once oh yeah yeah that's fun that booker who
said something shitty to me yeah i don't know and i think that there is something about
comedians where we're like it's kind of the personality makeup,
but fuck what a waste of time.
But I also think that we fancy ourselves as like people who cut through the
bullshit.
So if we miss one,
you know what I mean?
Like if you miss a,
I should have known to fucking say that.
Oh,
oh yeah.
No,
it is like,
it's an,
oh,
crowd work. I'll i'll yeah there are certain
where i'm like weeks later i'll be like fucking you couldn't think why didn't you think of that
yeah and and i still don't know the reason of that because you're you're excellent at crowd work and
what's your band of on abstract oh my. I did my business cards in that font.
What are your tips for crowd work?
I mean, I could talk about this for an hour,
but I fucking, I tell people not to do crowd work.
What do you mean?
Like younger comics.
No, I'm not saying, I'm not saying like as a goal.
I'm just saying, what do you think,
what's like a key's like just clear-headed,
like what is your approach?
I just kind of just start talking. I don't necessarily look for a reason to razz them,
but if that comes up, then I do.
But I just have a conversation and try to listen
and then respond to what they're saying as opposed to just like
I got this next zingy line coming up but i mean i also what i also do is like the other night
i did some and the guy kind of just said i don't want to do this and i was like we're not doing
this great you know what i mean like yeah i totally get why you wouldn't want to do this yep
and so it is very unfair to the audience in that they're so nervous to speak in front of people.
And we're so used to it.
And we're elevated.
We're amplified.
It's like we have every advantage.
Right.
And then sometimes they apologize.
I'm sorry.
I didn't give you anything.
It's not your job.
It's my job.
Yeah.
To give myself something.
Yeah.
Don't sweat it.
Okay.
All right.
Well, this is a new segment.
Instead of asking people what the movie of their life would be,
tell me an interaction with a celebrity that had a meaningful,
a lasting impact on you where you're like,
that was interesting or that was significant to me
or something that you think about a lot.
There's one that I think about a lot that is kind of not really a big story,
but you know Joe Strummer?
Yeah, of course.
I was walking in the East Village.
The great Joe Strummer from the Clash.
25 years ago.
I once saw, not Joe Strummer,
the other guy from the Clash,
with you at the Gem Spa.
Oh, Mick Jones.
Yeah.
I do remember seeing him there. Holy shit. I was with you. Holy shit. Yeah mick jones yeah i do remember seeing him there oh i was with you
oh yeah yeah i forgot about that but i was walking and i just saw joe strummer like walking with some
friends and i was like oh my god and i kind of just looked and then he made eye contact with me
and he and i just nodded he goes hello and that was it it was kind of like i think that
was kind of perfect in a way like i didn't know yeah yeah but so i remember that i mean that just
because it was him but oh man i could tell celeb stories oh man endless uh and what have you done
that's made that's gotten you healthier with this shit any of the ocd and the hoarding and
the um adhd and of course the adhd is to be determined um the hoarding i do i've been hiring
a you know an organizer that helps great and i have i've gotten a little better throwing stuff
out i think great but i mean I still have a ways to go.
Yeah.
And do you beat yourself up?
Well, the thing about the hoarding is like I think people with ADHD,
who ADHD people, which I'm self-diagnosed, I guess, have a clutter problem,
but also they hate clutter.
So that's sort of a double damned if you do kind of situation.
But, yeah, because it's not like, oh, yeah, I like that my place is stuffed That's sort of a double damned if you do kind of situation.
But yeah, because it's not like,
oh yeah, I liked it.
My place is stuffed with stuff.
But I kind of don't.
Yeah.
I can't imagine you would.
I can't imagine anyone would.
And how do you feel like your life's going?
That's a very broad question.
Oh my God.
I mean, I feel pretty good like today. I feel i like i have this special that i filmed over a year ago and it's finally coming out and so far
from the 18 times i've checked the youtube page it's uh doing good it seems to be the comments
seem to be pretty positive so i'm kind of feeling good because it just sometimes sometimes like i've
always done a lot of work in showbiz but sometimes I didn't feel like I was in show,
but sometimes you need like these kind of elevated like strokes to feel like,
you know,
like being on TV or something to feel like I'm really in show business.
Yeah.
Affirming.
Well,
you did the box podcast and that's something.
Yeah.
I think I did a pretty good job.
I think you did a great job.
I think you were honest.
I think you, you gave a good appraisal of yourself and your your issues
and uh the storage unit is something that even even sal i don't think i'm sure he has them but
he didn't admit to them oh is he a hoarder he uh yeah he's a hoarder really a hoarder saves every receipt
every tag for clothing
saves
oh really
incredible
way worse than me
I'll text him later and I'll tell him
Todd Berry everyone
thanks Neil
you got it. No matter I met her when she was 19 years old
She never knew she was made of gold