Bonanas for Bonanza - Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #28: “San Francisco”

Episode Date: February 28, 2024

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDalyThis week, Dalton, Mutt and Amy join the Cartwrights in the wild and dangerous hurly-burly of San Francisco. Ben Cartwright tries on a new personality, Joe reveals his hairless torso, Hoss does battle with his doppelgänger and Adam stays home. Plus, Chinese culture is respectfully and authentically explored with the help of a frequently deployed gong sound effect. Featuring Andy Daly as Dalton Wilcox, Maria Bamford as Amy Sleeverson and Matt Gourley as Mutt TaylorMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.comRecord date: 3/15/2022 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're about to listen to Bananas for Bananza episode 28. This is Andy Daly. Here on this free feed, I'll be re-releasing all of the back episodes of Bananas for Bananza one every other week. If you want to hear new episodes, add free. Please subscribe to my Patreon at Patreon. atrion.com slash Andy Daly. The entire Bananas for Bananza Archive is also waiting for you there and you can access lots and lots of bonus content. So do that. Okay, thank you. Enjoy. show alive so consult your TV guide get your great outdoors inside takes a

ponderosa pride and forever made right I'm bananas. You're right ready here we go I'm gonna start with the yee-ha ha ha ha! I'm bananas for bananas. Yeah right ready. Here we go I'm gonna start with the yee-haw. Eee-haw. Damn!

I forgot the tocke. Okay. Are you having a lacroix? This is a spin drift. It's a raspberry lime. Oh, spin drift. Do you know what a word mean? Is that a better than Laquois or a cutrate Laquay? No, it's a better than Laquay. It costs more per ounce. Well then it is better.

But a spin drift what it means is it's a it's a it's the it's the mist from when a wave comes in the ocean. Is that what a spender? What a great name for a drink? I think they want a the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's a sp. It's a sp. It's a sp. It's a th. It's a spk. It's a sp-a th. It's a sp. It's a sp. It's a sp, it's a sp. It's a sp. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a the the the th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a the the the the the the th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a th. I think they won the game right there, them sons of bitches. They won up to Sierra Mist. They did. By having to be a Miss that's not even called a Mist. It sends you to the dictionary. That's a smart man's drink. Yeah. I hear you. Anyway, so you look, folks, you learn something already.

you told you what you're hearing. This is bananas for Bonanza. Hello friend, come on in. The gate is open wide. We are talking about the television show Bonanza. As a matter of fact, we do that every time and we're doing it this time for sure. And I am Dalton Wilcox, Cowboy Poet, Poet, Poet, Poet, poet, Poet Lorette of the West that I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have that I have re-earned that distinction recently. Yes, well it's a self-given distinction and I recently said to myself, am I still the poet laureate of the West? And the answer was yes. You had to reapply to yourself.

Yeah, I did. And I'm here with Mutt Taylor. Hello, Mutt. How you doing? I'm Mutt Taylor. I'm a firebrand, Outlock Country, Western musician, and first-time mommy and me class taker. Oh boy, I do want to hear about that. And we've got Amy Sleverson, Christian entrepreneur. So many new ideas for business plans and proposals and profit and loss statements and balance sheets. It's crazy.

This episode gave you ideas for balance sheets and profit and loss statements. Well, just that you could get those done once you had income. Yeah, have you not been doing anything like that, keeping track of your, what's going out, and what's coming in? Well, sometimes I keep track of how many businesses I have. Yeah, oh that's it. So I have about 79 businesses now. Oh that's a lot of business. But you don't keep track of any of the accounting for any of those businesses. That's that's I'm not a numbers person. Oh, okay. Business is not is I'm not qualified. To do what, to keep tracking the numbers? Well, it's, it's, I just figure it's, it's all just,

it's, it's the blood of Christ goes in, the blood of Christ goes out. And, you know, it's all just energy flow. And is that a box you can check on an IRS form? Well, if you are working only in cash. Oh, I see. Wink-wink. All your businesses are cash businesses. Is that cash?

Oh, cash or barter. Oh, cash or barter. Well, that's smart. I will take anything as barter. Oh, really? What do you mean? Anything. Well, you know. Surely some things have no way. Oh, okay, all right.

I won't just, I won't just take anything except I will. No, but like somebody, let's say for instance, somebody's got a broken shoelace. I mean, you're not going to take that for a tragedy charm. Well, does it have meaning? Oh, the shoelace? Yes. Uh, let's... Did something happen? Um, I believe if the one I think you're talking about is the one, yeah, it was used in an act of, of sexual passion. Oh, no.

Well, then of course I would take it and I would say, I would say, I would say you can have at least three pieces of inventory, mostly because I gotta move it. Okay, I see. Any excuse- I have too many pillowcase covers with revelations co-sum. Yeah, I can imagine your home is like a storage space at this point. It's 79 different businesses. All right, well, what are we talking about today? We're talking about season 1, episode 28, which is called San Francisco. Bold claim. Yep, and it is a,

man, I'll tell you, every once in a while they do one of these episodes, it is absolutely hilarious. You don't stop laughing from beginning to end. This is one of them. So many funny parts in it and surprises and so many Chinese people are in this episode. Seven. Seven cousins alone. Seven numbered cousins. This is something I did not know about the Chinese people that they number their cousins. I've got cousin number one cousin, number two cousin, number three cousin. Oh I thought it was because a lack of creativity or interest or curiosity about Chinese culture. Oh, you mean like they didn't want to have to come up with seven different names?

Those aren't mutually exclusive. That's right. I'm sure this is authentically accurate to Chinese cultures and number your cousins. I'm sure it is. I didn't look it up, but I'm sure it is. As opposed to calling them by their names. And what else? This is, I mean, I don't know that there was gunfire, but boy, oh boy was there a brawl. Oh, or too. Yeah, that brawl reminded me like of a Batman television show. It was. It was fantastic. It was a climatic brawl at the end. And it's got a thia. I I thia. I thine. I thine. I thine. I thine. I thine. I thine. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't tho th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th, I th, I th. I th. I there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was there was their th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I don't the. I don't the. I don't thea. I don't thea. I don't the. I don't the. I don't the. I don't the. I don't th a while since it killed off a lady on this show. Interesting. Well, it's a damn fine episode and I think maybe I'll start off with the air date, my new, the new feature of this show where I remember. So this episode aired on April 2nd, 1960.

April 2nd, 1960 was when this episode originally aired. Brett, are you ready to play? What was the number 1, 19, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, the the the the th, the th, the th, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, th, the th, the the the the the the the the the the the thi, the the the thi, thi, the the, the, the, the, the theeeea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, theea, theea, thea, tha, tha, th episode originally aired. Brett, are you ready to play? What was the number one song on April 2nd, 1960? Get ready. The number one song was the theme from a summer place by Percy Face. There it goes. Hold it on the charts. Yeah, same as last time.

Did people not have choices? It seems that way. Because when you hear this song, one thing I thought is th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho seems that way because when you hear this song, one thing I thought is what was going on in the world that people needed to listen to a song like this again and again and again. They must have been terrified. Must have been fear of nuclear war I suppose. Well that would have been at its height. Yeah, right. So this song obviously just calmed people down. I don't know what else you'd listen to it for, right? It's an ear laudanum.

An ear laudanum. Yeah, it does have that effect. It's a beautiful, beautiful song. Guess what the number one movie in the country was on April 2, 1960. I'm gonna say, oh boy, Manchurian Candid. Manchurian Candidate, what do you say in Miss Lakers? Valley of the Dolls. Valley of the Dolls, it was Ben Hur, same as last week.

What? Things didn't really, things didn't change so fast back then. It was basically just, week to week. How long are we in for these two number one hits? Matter of fact, quite a while. Fame from a subplace was the number one song of the year, but it hung on quite a while. Hey, guess what the number one television show was? 1960.

1960. I want to say Bonanza, but I don't feel like it's climbed up there yet so I'll say gun smoke. What do you say? Mr. Leverson. I'm gonna say Mr. Rogers. Mr. Rogers that's a good guess but Mutt Taylor got it right. It was gun smoke. I never heard of that show before. I don't, yeah, I saw it on this list. I said, what is that? I never heard of it. This night, April 2nd, 1960 at the Grand Old Opry, Patsy Kline performed. Oh. Yep. Now, can you imagine, try to just put yourself in that place. You live down there. It's Nashville, right, the grand old opi. Patsycline, Pats. Pats. Pats. Pats. Pats. Pats. Pats. Pats. Pats. Pats. Pats. Pats. Pats. Pats. Pats. Pats. Pats. Pats. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. A. S. S. S. A. S. A. I. S. I.line's coming that night and you have to choose. Do I watch brand new episode and Bernays on tonight or do I go and see Petsy Kline? Never mind Ben Herr listened to a theme from Summerplace. Yeah, I know. I mean the entertainment options were too

extraordinary at the time. Well you didn't have choices, the woman women stayed home. Oh that's right. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's, that's, th. th. the th. the the the the thi. the they. they. their their their their their their thi. their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, t. Oh, t. Oh, t. Oh, t. Oh, t. Oh. Oh, t. Oh. Oh, t. Oh, t. Oh, t. Oh, the the the the the the t. Well, of course. Yeah, no, I'm talking about the men who had to make the choice of what to do. Well, you'd show up and find there was no show because Patsy Kline was made to stay home. Oh, right, of course. Who was letting Patsy Kline out doing shows on a Saturday night? I don't like it. You had, uh, in the news, you had old Lyndon Johnson, you had old, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, the, the, the, the, uh, the, uh, uh, uh, the, the, the, the, they, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their their their their, their their their, they-a, they-a, they-a, they-C.e, theck's tie-C.eck-C. tie-C.eck-C. tie-C. tie-C. they-C. their their-C. their-s- out which one of them was going to be the Democratic nominee. Wow. He had old Richard Nixon trying to figure out who his running mate was going to be at this time. You could get a postage stamp for four cents. You believe that? Nowadays they're free because nobody needs them. Oh. You could get a pound of beef turkey for $2.61. I'm always writing cards. Are you? I write. Well I have. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. I have to th. I have to to to to the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thr. the running thr. thrown thi. thi. thi.61. I'm always writing cards. Are you? I write.

Well, I have a selection of cards that are, it's Christian cards for every holiday. So we have Christian-based cards for Hanukkah. And then also for Earth Day. I'm trying to imagine if I was a person that celebrated Hanukkah and I received a Christian themed card for it, what my reaction would be? Well, you would say, well at least they know what I do. Okay. And then you'd say, huh.

And then you'd learn a little bit about each other. All right, that's a good way to look at it. There's no agenda in that. You're not th. You th. You th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thoes. I thi. I thi. I just thoes. I thoes. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I'm the. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm toea. I'm toea. I'm thea. I'm that's a good way to look at it. There's no agenda in that you're not trying to change. Oh no no I just I put a big it like whenever first graphic it's it's an Easter bunnies on both sides of the cross oh Jesus is on the cross and then there's Easter bunnies on either crosses the two other crosses. Oh okay. There being crucified too. And then and then you open it up and it says you know if it's a birthday card it's a friend with a birthday says guess what else it came alive. So that's not an Easter card even though it has the Easter buddies on it.

If your birthday is on Easter, I have an Easter birthday card. That's a good idea. I have, I've made hundreds of those. Oh you have. Well, that's a tough, that's going to be, I mean, now, Easter is one of them holidays. Well, Easter is one of the holidays. That's true. . Some that's that's that's that's that's that's they their their their their their their their their thiiiter's thiter's thiter's thiter's thiter's thiter's thiolters. I's thiolierierieriers. I's thioliers. I'm thioliers. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'll. I'll. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. Oh. Oh the same day every year. That's true. Some years, I reckon you'd have a lot of people whose birthdays is Easter.

Some days it falls on Hitler's birthday, April 20th. And the only way I sell that cart is, I actually, it's a special deal. You have to prove to me that it's your birthday that day, and you send me a copy of your birth certificate, but an actual legitimate copy. Certified. Certified, a copy of birth certificate. Does it need to have the raised seal on it? Yes.

Okay. And then I, and it's about a nine week turn around. And you have to, because you're the person getting the gift, you kind of that card is going to be coming. So it's kind of this whole, anyways. It's fun, it's fun, it's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's a th. It's a thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thi. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a their. It's a thi. It's a thirty. It's a c.c. toe.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c.c. C. C.c. C. C. coming so it's kind of this whole anyways it's fun because it's it's a it's a journey yeah you take with the person who's getting the car I think about that and how you can go get a free Denny's pancake on your birthday one one pancake or something all right yeah I forget what it is free meal free moons over my

what I would hope so but they're their barrier of entry is slightly easier than that what's that how do you prove to the folks it just showed it's your birthday birthday lights yeah just look at your rings your tree rings they go no one would lie to get their hands on one of our pancakes but man nine months to get a birthday card if you were born on that year's Easter. But that's the anticipation is, is where the added value is. Now you could steal somebody's, or maybe that's not the right word, but get your hands on somebody else's birth certificate. So I'm saying you need to break into somebody's safe or safe deposit bucks or whatever and send it to you

So I'm saying to preserve the surprise of the recipient of the card. I would figure it out No, you would oh, no, I see you're not gonna get scammed. I'm not gonna get scammed. Guess how much? Go ahead. What you gonna? No, I was just gonna point out that a 12 pack of baked beans was $2.29 in 1960. You can get 12 cans of baked beans for $2.29! How long would stock your bomb shelter for, what, a good couple weeks? I guess so. You could get a set of six wooden steaks for 58 cents in 1960. Now, what would you use a wooden steak for a wooden steak?

Keep it down your pant leg for if you run into a vampire. Now we're talking. Or put put it under your dress on a on a little lacy leg, leg thing. Oh yeah. Yep. There's a lady with a little gun on her in this episode. Can't wait. She, well I tell you one problem with this episode is most of the characters had two names. It was a bit of a pickle. My husband and I, we are doing that as well. Oh, you are? Well, we started as a result of this episode, International Barbary Vacations, where we take up, you know, it's like, it's an escape room, but it involves immigration and rights in human trafficking. So we take you from Duluths. And, uh, th, th, th, th, th, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the the the, th, th, th, thi, they, and, immigration and rights and human trafficking.

So we take you from Duluth in a canoe and we take you over Lake Superior and it's only about five miles via boat and then we take you over to Superior and we sell you, I mean, but it's fun. And, um, and it's, we call it being to Harvard. And, uh, and I go as no uterus, um, and, because I don't, I don't have a uterus. And, and, then my name they would have given you on the Barbary coast in San Francisco in 1861. Well, because it's true. it's just what it is. And then my husband goes by

Christ-centered Carl. Christ-centered Carl. And we take away all your Minnesota clothes, you know, your Carhart's, and then we dress you in Harley-Davidson to go to Superior, Wisconsin. Oh, the town of Superior, Wisconsin, which is on Lake Superior. Which is so close, but you can't escape, you can't, but anyways, it's real, it's really fun. And if you don't want to go by boat, we also take you, you can go on our Ford Flex over Bong Bridge. Okay. Bonn B Ong. B O N G. You guys in there heard of it? It goes from the the the the th. It th. It th. It goes. It goes from. It-G? B-O-N-G. You guys in there heard of it? No. It goes from Duluth the superior and superior to Duluth.

Oh, that's amazing I haven't heard of that. You know, I used to know a two-uteris to Lula. I wonder if you hooked up with her, you guys could work something out. Well, that, that, it that, it that, it that, it that, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it goes, it goes, it goes tho, it goes, it goes, it, it, it, it, it, it, it goes, it goes, it goes, it goes, it goes, it goes, it goes, it goes, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it goes th th th th th th th th th th th th. It th. It th. It goes th. It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes, th. It th. It goes, th. It's th. It's thi. It goes, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoes. It goes, thoes, thooes, thooooooooooooooooes. It goes, thes, thes, thes, that, I'd have something to talk to her about, for sure. Two uterus is wow. Yeah. Or is it uteri? Probably is. Uh-huh. The point is, save some for the rest of us. Here, here.

We do also an international trip where we kidnap an entire town. We, you know, and like we'll take out the grand moraye and we'll put them to work on a Tackle Night Iron Boat all the way to the, all the way to Estonia. And the part that's the exciting part we have to figure something out is how to get back because we take away all your documents and you just have to figure out how to get back. There's so many words you just said, I don't know. Did you say a Grand Moray? Grand Moray. You guys never been to the Grand Moray?

What is a Grand Moray? Oh, it's a town. It's a beautiful town. And if you take the whole town, on a boat and gets them to Estonia and then they're handed over to traffickers and they've got to escape that themselves with no documents? No documents. But that's the exciting part. That's when you really got to have somebody who hasn't had the north coast of Lake Superior, so it's up near Canada.

Oh, I got. And the boat runs on iron ore? No, no, that's what you're shipping. Oh, you're shipping something of value. Because really, I mean, not to say, speak badly of the people of Grand Marie. But I don't know if they would go for much more than 25 bucks ahead. Okay. What's the population of town like that? We're about, I think, around 25,000.

That's a lot of people to fit on one boat. Is that the plan? Well, but, I mean, it, if you... we haven't worked it out yet. We haven't had a real dry run or a wet run. We haven't had a wet run. So these are just ideas. I'm sure, I'm sure it'll be fine.

Yeah, it'll be fine. It'll be fine. Well, that's all I had to say about in 1960. You can stop playing that song, Brett. Okay. Well, a lot of what you're talking about here is people getting bought and sold into working on a ship is all that comes right out of this episode and I'll do I want to do some fun facts real quick before we get to get talking about the episode. We had the character Kathleen Akakae aka Quick Buck

Kate was, as you could tell from her accent. She's from New Jersey, Kathleen Crowley, is the name of the actress. She was in a movie called The Female Jungle, which is not what you think it's going to be about. It isn't? No. Too bad. Yeah, I thought it was the accent of a whore.

Oh, you thought she had a whor's accent? Yes. I don't know. I think maybe she was supposed to be Irish and 80 years old. Didn't she sound like she was doing the old lady boys? Now I didn't look it up on purpose because I look forward to fun facts. Oh yeah. I can't believe. This is just something occurred to me. Is she the woman that did the voice for witch Hazel in the Warner Brothers cartoons or witchy poo or what what not believe or not that was June 4th that was June 4th okay boy she sounded there was just a dead ringer in that voice yep it wasn't Kathleen Crowley she actually was in a lot of things and then she quit acting when she got married at the age of 40 a lot of these actresses quit

acting when they got married earlier most of them get married earlier than 40. So she's got more credits. Good for her. Then we have, boy, this episode was jam-packed with stars. David White as Alexander Pendleton, aka Shanghai Pete. It was Larry Teat on Bewitched. Yeah, that's right. He was the ball some people.

Yes. I remember that. Yeah, he specialized, something I read, put it well, he specialized in CADS and Pompas politicians. That was mostly his guy. And he, uh, but the weird, the only weird thing I saw on his whole resume, you know how on I am DBA, you'll say, here's all your films and here's all your TV shows and here's all the times that you appeared as yourself. And that's going to be your to be your to be your to be your to be your to be your to be your to be your to be your to be your to be your to be your to be your to be your to be your the to be your the to be your's all your films and here's all your TV shows and here's all the times that you appeared as yourself and that's going to be your talk shows your game shows in that category was a movie called the decline of Western Civilization Part 2 the Metal Years. Why did David White appear as himself? Was he

was he an interview subject? Was he in he couldn't have been in a heavy metal band? I don't think. And you don't have the answer because because? Because that that that that the that the that the that the that that the that the the that the that the that the the that the that the the that that the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that they. the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the they. the the the the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the they. the to be. to be. the to be. the to. to. too. too. too. too. too. too. think and you don't have the answer because I'm dying to know he's the father of a heavy meddler oh is that right yes okay that may be I almost watched that whole movie to find out the answer but then I got too tired you but you watched some of it or you know I didn't watch any of it you got too to start it to even start it I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I to th I th I th th I th I th I thi thi th I th I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I the th I th I th I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi 't watch any of it. You got too tired to even start it. To even start it, I figured I'd probably have to watch the whole thing, if I was gonna watch any of it. Carl and I have a heavy metal band. Oh yeah, well is it a noise, do you do noise, Christian noise rock. This is also, it's a heavy metal. Oh, in addition to the Christian the Christian the Christian the Christian the Christian the Christian the Christian the Christian the Christian the Christian the Christian the Christian the Christian the Christian the Christian the Christian Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, Christ, the Ch, the Ch-. It's, it's, it's, it's a Christ, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, our t-shirts have the head of a goat skull on it. And we, um, and we,

they're just to the Bible. Say, what, what was the lyrics to the Bible from cover to cover. And then my husband will play something in the background. He's learning piano. So he plays, you know, just something that he's working on like Frerejaqa, Frerezzzaca, and then I read from the Bible. Do you do Bible cover to cover for one song or is it? Well it can be however long a show you need but you know we start wherever we're studying. Oh I see. So right now we're in Timothy. Okay. That sounds so disturbing to me. I mean in a good way in a good way in a good way and that you know that thing that heavy metal is often trying to to evoke of where you know scare you down to your boots that would do it somebody plunk it out for a

Jacques on a piano and and then somebody growling the Bible at you here comes a helly old cock. Yeah well that's evil that's that's our new player and our noise band. I thought you was making a noise no but we do it's heavy metal for God so love the world he gave his only our noise band. I thought you was making a noise. No, we do it's heavy metal. For God, so love the world, he gave his only people and saw. How long can you do that for before you get sore throat? Oh man! Rejoice, old man in thy youth. Wow! You guys are terrified meat. God. God. God. Sometimes I can't remember the next part of the Bible that comes next and story.

I just start seeing words that I think are holy. Oh, like what? Holy. Yeah, well that one is. Swiss cheese. What I don't think she means that kind of holy there, but. Well, that's, uh, that sounds great that heavy middle band anyway. So we'll get to the bottom of maybe I'll watch a decline of Western civilization later on.

Find out why David White was in it. And then we got Richard Deacon who played Captain's the name of Shark. Captain, a ship's captain named shark seems like a bad idea to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to to be to be a bad the to be a bad the the name of shark. Ships captain named shark seems like a bad idea. I agree. It's bound to be some confusion. Yeah, when our priest, his name was priest, toucest my butt. And.

My father toubite. Father touched my butt. Yeah. And I said, I don't know about this guy. But he stayed with us for 10 years until we caught him and he was touching someone's butt. Oh, you've got to be kidding me. Now, is that a case of him living up to his name or did he get his name because that's the shit he was into?

Well, we don't know. That's the thing. He came with that name. There's a case where you'd want to see his birth certificate because that would answer all. Right. That's why I asked for a birth certificate when you want an Easter birthday card. Uh-huh. Oh yeah. Oh man, is he still out there? Father touched my butt? Do people need to worry about him? Well he probably could have changed his name, you know to anything. He's on to touch in other parts but like brother. Yeah like like like like like like like like like brother. Yeah like brother. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. tou. tou. the. tou. tou. the. the. the. tou. the. the. the the. to. to. the the the the. touches butt. Yeah, he could have changed denomination become rab, rabbi touched my bat, touch, touch my took us, but. Rabbi touch my took us. Might be that. I mean if you're going to change denominations, change them. Well, anyway, that's almost as bad as Captain Shark.

Not quite. He's played by a fellow by the name of Richard Deacon, who's in a million, million things. He specialized in humorless authority figures. Yeah. He played Lumpy's dad on Leave it to Beaver and producer Mel Kulie on the Dick Van Dac show. the producer Mel Kulie on the Dick Van Dak show. Now, in addition to all that, he, he, he, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to th, to to to th, to producer Mel Coolly on the Dick Van Dac show. Now, in addition to all that, this guy had a busy, busy career.

He was also a gourmet chef. And in the 80s, he hosted a Canadian TV program on microwave cookery. How's that a show? Yeah. Now, I read a thing like that, and I'm not a lunatic, so, of course, I go over to YouTube and see if I to see, to see, to to to the to to to to to, the to, to, the to, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thing like that, and I'm not a lunatic, so of course I go over to YouTube and see if I can find a clip of Richard Deacon hosting a microwave cookery show. It's a good idea. Is it just what's cooking in the microwave?

Like, because I would watch a potato turning for hours. Well, it's almost that. I have. I found, unfortunately, I couldn't find Richard Deacon doing it, but I found what has to be the show by perhaps the next host. This was 1981. So this was like the Tonight Show, an institution that had to remain regardless of whether the host was with it. That's right.

Is it bacon on a paper towel? Well, I'll show you what it is. It's not quite a tinfoil. toil? No, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, to, to, the, the, the, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is... It. It's, is. to, to, to. too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, to.... to. to. to. to. to. to. toil. Tinfoil? No, hell no. It starts off, I'm gonna play it all for you, even though it's, this is not modern speed of entertainment. It starts off, the opening credits is just shots of different parts of a microwave oven over beautiful music. So here comes that. There's the dial.

Oh my God. It says rare and medium rare. 1,981, 3,800. And this music doesn't cost any money because it's from the 18th century. Yeah, that's a piece of meat. Now we see the time, what, it was 1133 when they did this. Time. It's warm, low, defrost, braze, simmer, bake. We're seeing all the buttons. And this is just the opening. Just the opening. Now, I don't know what that dish is. I can't

imagine what it would be. Is that potatoes agroaten? Oh, maybe. They don't have it when you explode something? Wow. Wow. We have a pizza, crispy, crispy, uh, heating here. And I'm going to get our pizza from pizza, the pizza, the pizza, the pizza, to get to get the pizza, to get to get to get the pizza, to get to get a pizza, to get a pizza, to get a pizza, to get a pizza to get a pizza to to to to to the to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. t.'m going to get our pizza from the freezer. We're going to make a frozen pizza. It's a cooking show. She's going to show you how to make a frozen pizza. That goes along with another one of my favorite Canadian shows which is just a fellow putting a tape in a VCR. Well, this is the first three minutes is just how to get that cardboard box open.

It's, it's remarkable. And your spouse standing behind you going, you, you can't, you don't take it off the cardboard. Bert's wife uses an oven. Birch wife, is that what you said? Yeah, what's that? His, Bert's wife. All his, Bert's wife. I thought his other friends the wife... I was imagining a wife made out of Birchwood. That's what I thought you said. That's what sailors use. Oh, they sure do, I guess. I've, I've, I've nuzzled up to a birchwife. I will say she, and I've never seen this outside of this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this clip this this this this clip this clip this this this this this this this th. th. th. th. th. th. that's the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's the the thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. that's the th outside of this clip from this television show, she adds some fresh ingredients to the frozen pizza. I've never seen anyone do that before. She

slices up a mushroom and puts that on top of frozen pizza. I guess. Otherwise why do the show? I guess. You know what, sometimes my husband and I we just, we put a chunk of cheese in a coffee mug and we just melt it and then we just drink it together. I mean it's kind of like lady in the tramp but with one gob of cheese. Do you have two different straws in your cup? No, we just use our tongues. They're just lapping up a big gobb of cheese out of a coffee mug. That's right. And sometimes whoever serps the fastest gets the big job

at the end that's already getting cold. Right, right. What kind of cheese works well for that? American. American. Yeah, so you, it's like a lot of different slices, I guess. First I know, you can only get American cheese sliced. Yeah, that's all I was going to say. So you have to roll up a bunch of slices and put them in there? Valvita? Well, now I don't know. Don't worry about it. I'm sorry. I don't know. I don't know. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We'll just take it face value from now on. Now when you ask, when you ask for more specifics, I can feel put on the spot. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. We'll just take it face value from now on it. Yeah. All right, another fellow in here playing the character of Hamp. This one was maybe the most interesting find. He's an actor by the name of O Z Whitehead. And the O and O Z stands for, I'll spell it. O-O- now already, that's the strangest name I ever heard. Oh-o-t, thou-o-t, O-o-t, O-o-t-o-t, that's the strangest that's-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-s, the-s, the-s, the-s'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-s'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-o'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-n'-n'-n'-s'-n'-n'-s'-s'-s'-s'-n'-n'-n'-a'-a'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-n'-a'-n'-a'-a'-a'-e'-n'-n'-e'-e'-e-O-U-T, U-T, O-T, was this man's first name. O-T-O-Tout, the Zee stood for Zabrisky.

O-Thout Zabrisky, Whitehead. Son of a wealthy New York banking family, he went to Harvard where he met Catherine Hepburn's brother Dick. And then it says, this is what Wikipedia says. Although, Zebby Whitehead, as they called him, never married, he was in a long-term and very private relationship with actress Catherine Hepburn. After they agreed to part, Zebby was never known to be in another relationship. And he is, I mean, a bit player in this episode of Bonanza.

Wow. Wow. Wow. Well, that also brings my husband and I, we're training to become Christian sex therapist. Oh, really? Yes. And right now we've got our first tool we're learning about, which is a hole in the sheet. And what you do is you place the sheet with the hole in it over your spouse and then... Doesn't matter which spouse.

Doesn't matter which spouse and then that's how that's how you get to know each other. Does the whole move around you look at different parts? Well, it depends. You just you don't think about too much about your spouse because the spouse is between you and a sheet so you don't think about them as much and that kind of, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the the th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and that, thi, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the their, their, their, their their their their their that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, doesn't that, doesn't their, doesn't that, doesn't that, doesn't that,, so you don't think about them as much. And that kind of, it's very healing. Oh, you- Does it help if you like fucking ghosts? Well, what that, there's that, that's, yes. I don't want to put you on the spot. That's just another way for me to say I like fucking ghosts. Oh man, that's dangerous much. You need to know it's dangerous to the

truth. It's a weird kink of mind. Don't shame me for it. I don't want to shame you for it. I'm just saying breaking up with the ghost if it comes time for that, basically impossible. It's impossible. That can be healed through Christian therapy that if that if that if that if that if that if that if th. th. th. It th. It th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's a their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. It's thi. It's a thi. It's thi. It's thi thiiiiiiiiiiiii. It's thiiiii. It's thii thi thi thi thi th want to be left in peace. We can treat that with what right now we just have the sheet with a hole in it. Yeah well ghosts always have some unfinished business too but now unless their unfinished business is getting laid. Yeah, unfinished. It's unfinished. So you got a handful. That's a handful. Hard to satisfy a ghost you cannot materialize. Sure. Part of Christian therapy is we get,

we get you a loaf of bread and you have to eat it. And that kind of takes you out of the game so you don't feel, you don't, it lowers you libido. A to for bread. A entire loaf of bread th bread Oh, a loaf of bread. Oh, an entire loaf of bread. An entire loaf of bread. And you gotta eat it all in the lunch. Can you drink something?

No. Okay, that's gonna take you a long time. Anybody'd lose their boners eating an entire loaf of bread? Now, what if I like fucking a loaf of bread? Oh shit, that's called. That's called paraphilic. Really? It's paraphilic. So things that are not right, things that are done on the Barbary coast that we, we, you don't want to do anymore. We, we treat that by either amping you up with, with energy drinks ortaking you down with loafs of bread. Now I don't want to ask too many follow-up questions, but who is training you to be a Christian

therapist? She said you guys were training. The internet. Okay. All right, I'm glad I asked. There's a certification program online and it's got a website so it's it's it's legal. Yeah of course oh no one was questioning the legality. Hey the other thing about Ozzy Whitehead he quit acting and became extremely involved in the Baha'i you know anything about Baha'ah? Oh what is that? I don't know it's not beneath me ha ha ha ha ha ha I I don't know. Is it vegetarian? That might be part of it. It's a fairly new religion adjacent to Islam perhaps or that part of the world anyway. Anyway, he just got deep into it. All right, now I want to tell you about Hop Singh's number three cousin.

You probably think this little fellow he didn't have any lines, I think he might have said okay once. Every time he comes on the screen, there's a gong. They play a gong every time. Number three cousin comes on. Well, who was that? Well, I looked him up, fella by the name of James Hong Kong. their thanks. He's everywhere, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th. thin, thi. thin, thin, thin, thi. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho, tho, tho, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho. tho. tho. thoo. He's thoooooooooooooooooooooooooo. He's thooooooooooooo. He's tho. He's th. He's th. He's everywhere. This man is still kicking at the age of 93. He just did a voice on Kung Fu Panda Paws of Destiny. He plays Mr. Ping, just like a few months ago. He's in Gremlins, right? He's in Grimlands. He's in Turning Red, the brand new picture movie. Oh, that's a surefire hit because it involves sex.

Oh, does it? But it's a children's, isn't it a children movie? I think it's about though, it's about your, um, become getting when you're 11 to 13. Oh I see. Oh, those are the years when people turn into a red panda. Yeah, they turn into a red panda. I see. James Hong was in big trouble in Little China, and Blade Runner and airplane, and the in the inlawsatown and Tango and Cash and he played Snoddy in Revenge of the Nerds 2, Nerds in Paradise. Sure. The guy's been in every damn thing.

Chinatown to Revenge of the Nerds 2. Yep. Just like that. He was in a movie called The Human Vapur. I look that one up. It's about it. Of course, the science experiment goes wrong. A man is turned into vapor and he begins robbing banks. Now I haven't seen it, I got to see it, because I understand how you get into the bank vault as a vapor, I think. I think so. All right. And then I suppose you can rematerial, he must be able to rematerialize into a man, grab hold all that money. But now what? than I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm than. thiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that is that is that is thate. thate. thate. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. I th. thi. the. I theeeeeeea. I thea. I thea. I theea. I theea. I theeeea. I thea. I thea. I th You know what I'm saying? And can you dematerialize the money? That's what that's a question. Is he can he vaporize the things he's trying to steal? Or maybe he just knocks on the, well that wouldn't work either because I was going to say he knocks on the vault says, let me out, you would accidentally lock me in the vault but then they're going to say, and do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they, is a tho, is a tho, is a thease, can, is a.a, can't, can't, can't, can't, is a.a, can't, can't, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, the power to become a vapor and then to become solid again, how

would you use that to get rich? I think what you've got to go in, go into the bank and then alter the records of your own bank account to add more money to it? Oh, and then leave and then come back the next day. Doo-doo. Hello, I'd like to withdraw $ money to it. And then leave and then come back the next day. Do-d-doo-doo. Hello, I'd like to withdraw $600,000. I'd go to a party. You would. And not socialize? You'd just... No, I'd just be at a party. You would enter the party as a vapor and then become a person. Oh, you would... Stay a vapor! So you'd be sort of lurking in a corner of the ceiling. You hear all the conversations and get inside the refrigerator and see what they've got. Oh sure. You know? Yeah. And go inside their filing cabinets and see, are they getting enough

insurance for floods? Do you ever do that at a party? You ever go through someone's file cabinet when you've been invited to a party? Sometimes. Sometimes you're who among us. I just I want to make sure everybody's okay. Yeah. And it's also it's a service I provide. Oh really? If you use if you need some a lookie loo it's called lucky Lou and things that you don't want to look at in your life, but you need someone to check and do see if you're okay. If you go oh, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I th. I'm, th. I'm th. I'm thi, thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. thi. th. I'm thi. I'm thi, I it, see if you're okay. If you go, oh, you know, hey, have I been, I don't want to really look at it because I am uncomfortable with being conscious of my own situation. Right. But if you need someone to come on in and go, I think you have a gambling problem. I'll do it. Or I'll come in and say, poof, you guys aren't even putting anything away for a prudent reserve or a, or some sort of retirement plan. What do you think? You're gonna die tomorrow? Geez. So just snooping on people's situations. It's Lucky Lou. And then I go, guess who's hiding candy bars? Guess who's hiding candy bars? You get into all the nips and credits?

I say oh you oh she says oh there's nothing sweet in the house. Well guess what there's three baby snickers in the in the in the cabinets behind the dog food. I'm I'd buy vaporizer turn on, and then fuck the vapor. Wait a minute, what? Oh, I... A vaporizer turns water into vapor. Yeah. And so I see.

You're just creating sex partners all day all day off. All right. I'd like to see two vapors get it on. Babers. Sheets with a hole and loaves of it. That's the order of the things that I like. And ghosts. Oh no, you are perfect for her paraphilic sex therapy treatment center. Sounds great. Paraphilia turns me on. Oh no! I love sex therapists. Boy, that's a problem. If somebody was turned on specifically by... We have not handled that before. Carl and I are going to have to discuss that through the hole in the sheet.

I'm looking forward to it. Let me tell you. Whenever you are ready, you two phone me up, let's do it. The whole of the sheet is also. That's a great thing. It's just, it's whatever you need. It's there before you buy you. What do you want to deal with? Okay. And the final person I want to tell you about in this episode, the last big star was Tor Johnson and Bushead Brannigan. I thought so. Man, oh man. That fella, he was 6-3 in height, which is pretty tall and 440 pounds, which is very. It., th, th, th, which is very, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, it's th, it's thi, it's th, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's th. It's th. It's th. It's, it's th. It's th, it, it's th, it, it's th, it, it, it's th, it, it, it's th, it, it, it, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi. thi. thi. thi. theea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea, three in height which is pretty tall and 440 pounds which is very heavy and not really explained by six three as a

height he was in Ed Wood movies such as Bride of the Monster and plan 9 from Outer Space he was a Swede and a professional wrestler and he went by super Swedish angel to distinguish him from another guy who went by Swedish angel. So there was a Swedish angel and then he was super Swedish angel. And he used to be able to buy a mask of Tor Johnson, a rubber mask that's featured and we were recently was talking about them Halloween movies. In Halloween 3 they go to a toy and mask maker and there's a bunch of Tor Johnson's in the background. I guess it was the most popular Halloween mask for a while. He wanted to look like Tor Johnson.

He had a beautiful head of blonde hair and he shaved it to look more scary. No kidding. It's the truth. I read that. Oh boy, that's, there's someone else that does that too. Oh, shit. You guys keep talking. Okay. Even if I remember I won't say it because I don't think this is interesting. Is it the guy from Midnight Oil? I'm only going to make one guess. Shit. Nope. No. No. All right. All right. We're going to talk about this episode. And I don't know that we've left ourselves the amount of time we usually have. But that's fine because we can we can cut right through. The guy from Game of Thrones. Varis. th. He he's he he's he he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he he's he he's he he's he. He's got he's got he. He's got the he. He's got the the th. He's got th. He's got th. He's got the the th. He's th. He's th. He's th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I I I I I th. I th. He's. He's. He's th. He's th. He's got. He's got th. He's got th. He's got th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm only th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th guy from Game of Thrones that plays the ovarice yeah various he's got a beautiful here big full head of hair you're kidding me no no he does good for him yeah all right well where this one takes place in San Francisco in 1861 I didn't realize it was

1861 because it was 1859 in the pilot so over the course of season one two years have gone by. Wow. Okay that's fine whatever you say. They're in San Francisco they've gone up there not Adam he took the week off. He's back at the Ponderosa holding down the fort but Ben and little Joe and Hawes and two of their ranch hands Johnny Johnny and Hamp, have gone up, they drove a whole bunch of cattle up to San Francisco, they sold it, they got a whole lot of money, and man, you've never seen Ben so happy. Never, you literally never have, almost as if this was written with a different show in mind,

and the character is not Ben Cartwright. Exactly. And it was all about cash on the barrel head. So that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that is that is that is that is that is that is that is th, th, th, th, th, thi thi their their thus thus thus thus, thoes, and it was all all thi, thiolus, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, than, than, than, toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. And, than, than, than, their, the barrel head. So that that that that that that is okay to be happy when you're your flesh and and it's about sharing. Yeah he's he overpays the ranch hands and he's gonna take him out fancy dinner and he's not paying attention and everyone's and everyone's excited and and but it's all money based. Yep Johnny and Ham go out and get real drunk real fast and then one of them wants to buy some s silk and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And th. And it's th. And it's th. And it's th. And it's th. And it's th. And it's th. And it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And it's th. the the flesh. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the their the their their their flesh. th. their their their their th. their th. their their flesh. flesh. flesh all money based. Yep. Johnny and Hamp go out and get real drunk real fast and then one of them wants to buy some silk and then a fella by the name of cutthroat, no. What does he call? Cutrate Joe.

He's a obvious swindler. Any sober man would know from the moment he stepped toward him. This guy's up to no good. But these two drunk ranch hands don't th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho' thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo' tho' tho tho tho, tho, this guy's up to no good, but these two drunk ranch hands don't know from nothing. They follow cut rate Joe, they get clonked on the head by a couple of thugs. That's what happens. This is, I mean, how many times has been warned his sons about going to San Francisco on the Barbary coast? Nine times before the Ponderosa. That's right. Shanghai, these guys are getting Shanghai.

And it's too bad because we've seen every episode up to this point, the cart rats are facing major drama and trauma. And I thought this is going to be an episode where they just get to enjoy themselves. Me too. I've never seen Paul this happy. That's what people think they want to be to be but sometimes you want to be abducted. Oh yeah this goes in line. And go through a trap door into a pool of water. Sometimes you do want that but yeah I never seen these guys eat lobster and oysters I thought

that's going to be a great scene right there. Well it never comes. Now oh say okay would you get credits and we see that Matt burn the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I've the. I've thi. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. the. thi. the. thi. the. the. the. th. there. Well, it never comes. Now, oh, say, okay, would he get credits? And we see that Matt Byrne for the 28th time, interestingly. And then, it's a, we're in a hotel room and Ben, I mean, he is practically dancing on air, ready to go out and have fun. Joe is shirtless. We don't see that too often, little Joe. Not a thread of hair. He has a hairless in th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Oh, thi. Oh, th. Oh, the the the th. Oh, th. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, to. Oh, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. to. the. the. the. the. the thread of hair on that boy. He has a hairless in stark contrast to Haas as we see later. This is an episode where two of the main cast are shirtless. Yep. Unusual. They, what do we learn? We were learning Hopping has a hundred relatives in town and and so on and so on and so forth. And that's when, oh boy it happens in this scene, right. Hop Singh comes in and he says, hey, hey I'm the their. their. they. they. they. they. they. they. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, they. Oh, th. Oh, they. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. Oh, th. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. the th I don't know where Johnny and Hamper are. Everybody's concerned Johnny and Hamper late. And Hop Singh shows up, Gong.

There's, so, what do you say? There's a gong sound that happens every time a Chinese person either enters or exits. Is that to signify that the person is Chinese? Because I can tell by looking at their very stereotypical costume.c, their costume, their costume, their costume, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.goyi, thi.goyi, togn, togs, togs, thi, thi, thi, thi.goyi, thi, th't know why it was necessary to put a gong in there. Oh, but I forgot to mention that a Chinese person witnessed Johnny and Hamp get abducted. That turns out to be Hopsing's number three cousin who has reported to Hopsing. Now his cousins, seven in number we've learned, they basically just kind of peeking around and hiding and they see everything that happens in San Francisco. And they report report it it th th th th th th th th thed it thed it thed it thoed it thoed thuu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu tho-a thu thu thi thi tho-a tho-a th. Oh th th thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi thi th. I th. I th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi peeking around and hiding and they see everything that happens in San Francisco and they report it back to Hop Singh. Sure. That seems to be what I guess the Chinese were known for at that time.

I believe. Well so and he says he tells him it looks like they've been Shanghai. And so all three of the cartwrights head into the the Barbary coast to find Johnny and Hamp right and that's when we learned we learned we learned we learned we learned we learned we learned we learned we learned we learned we learned we learned we learned cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut cut. the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're. they're. they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. they're they're they're they're they're they. they're they're they're they're they're they're they. they're Johnny and Hamper, right? And that's when we learned cut rate Joe, he's trying to sell, yeah blah blah, blah. And then what is the end result of a Shanghai? They get shipped to Shanghai and they're shipped as a sailor. And it's such a long trip that by the end you're kind of, you have that syndrome where you, your captor is your best friend and you just go oh well stockard Channing syndrome. Yeah stockard Channing syndrome. I think the classic Shanghai is you wake up on a boat halfway to China and you're told if you want to eat you got to swab the dick and then you don't get back to San

Francisco for like a year and at that point you're a different man. You're a sailor not whatever you used to be. That's a classic, that's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the classic, th, th, th, th, the classic, th, th, th, th, th, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and to to to to to to to to to, and to, and to, and to, and to, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and to, oh, and to, and to, and to, and to, and to, and to, and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I I's, and they. Oh, and they. Oh, and they. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to, the point you're a different man. You're a sailor, not whatever you used to be. That's a classic. We have an extremely unnecessary scene where Ben yells at a police officer who's making loud pencil scratch sounds the whole time. Ben's trying to find out where his ranch hands are. The teaming street, boy this episode had more extras in it than any episode we've ever seen. I'm telling you something was up. They were shooting on a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. B. Pea. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. th. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. I. B. B. B. B. I. B. B. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. th. I's. I's. I's. th. the. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. the. the. the. the. I'm telling you something was up. They were shooting on a film set or something. Peas and carrots, peas and carrots. Rubear. A lot. And I'm sure you could, if you really wanted to pay attention, see like, hey, that's the same guy who just walked the other way with a thee. But who's got time for that? Now part way through the search hoss sees who you could only the theas step out of a bar and that's Tor Johnson and the two of them circle each other and say wow you're just as gigantic as I am. Look at the size of us two ridiculous creatures.

And they didn't have an ounce of acrimony in them. They just had appreciation and recognition for each other. Yeah. It was like a dog park. Yeah. No dialogue whatsoever. Just circling each other and looking at each other. And the search is going on for Johnny and Hamp and

and old Joe gets into a skirmish with a bartender who seems to have something to do with it. I don't know why. I guess there's only one bar in San Francisco, but everybody knows this is where they must have been. And what happens first? My husband has one of those too many questions hammers. That's right. When Joe's asking too many questions about Johnny and half, the bartender pulls out a gigantic hammer. That boy that shuts me up real quick. I... No, it's funny. But then it is scary a little bit because you're afraid for physically like afraid of your body for your for your life even though it is

your spouse and it's a joke mostly and it's a joke mostly until it isn't. Well you don't know and that's the that's the funny part. Round about how many questions can you ask before the hammer comes out? Well, two. Two questions? It's the rule of three in our house, just like in the Bible. I didn't know that about the Bible. So, yeah.

Is this when the fight happens? Yeah. And Tor Johnson, who we learned his name is Bushead Branigan. They are having a bare-fisted brawl for bets and everybody's bid on it. And, uh, and the hoss just punches them out in one punch. And then there's a whole thing where a busthead Branigan is saying, well, you're the new champ, you're the new champs and you're the new champs. You're the new champs' the cha cha cha cha cha cha. You're champ. You're champ. You're champ. You're the the champs. the champs. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're the new champs, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're the the the new champ. the new champ, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're the the new champ. the new champ. the new champ. the new champ. the new champs, you're the new champs, you're the new champs, you're the new champs, you're the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi. thea' thi. the of this episode. Poor Hauss is the new champion bear-fisted brawler of San Francisco. That's gonna come up again and again.

Everybody tries to challenge them. That did not happen. I thought we was even maybe in for a spin-off series. Oh my God, Hoss, champion bear-fisted brawler of San Francisco. No, no, that didn't happen. I have to assume it was in a draft at some point. And they cut that but they had already booked Tor Johnson. So they did the fight. That's my guess. That's called a cul-de-sac plotline. It doesn't go anywhere. There's no outlet. No room for Adam in this episode either. No, sir. God damn. Well now Ben says all right, hey I'm going to go into that bar and I'm going to find out where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where where Johnny where where Johnny where where where where Johnny where where Johnny where where where Johnny where where the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they's they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's their their to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be toy. toy. toy. toy. today today toy. today today today to be today today they're they're going to go into that bar, and I'm going to find

out where Johnny and Hamper are by using a different tactic than you guys have, which is flattery, and it's just behaving like a totally different human being than Ben Cartwright has ever been before. Absolutely. He is just chipper and chattie and complimentary and an absolute delight. It's how it's how it's the Christian way it's based. to. to, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, ta, today, thea, ta, thea, thea, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, it's a, it's the Christian way, it's sort of based a little bit on the Dale Carney, how to win friends and influence people, but my training program for business professionals is how to get three questions where the answer is yes. Oh, how's, okay. You say, are, are you working here?

Are you, are you? Are you working here? Yes. Are you, you, you, you are professional at your job? Yes. Would you like $5? Yes. But that's free question, so now out comes the hammer. I was just gonna say.

No, but that if they said three times, then they don't take out the hammer because they're smiling because they've said yes so many times. Oh, I get it. So now you can get to what it is you wanted to talk about because you've got them smiling about three things. Three things. And they're used to say yes, there you go. And they just say, okay. That's the pattern because the human brain. the human, the human, the human, the human, the human, the human, the human, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, the, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, the, the, the, th is, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, tho, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th is, th. So, thi. So, thi, thi, thi, thi. So, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. So, tha, tha time. Every damn time. And then and and Haas does it what he does the three question yes yes yes yes while he's drowning a man

which is really thoughtful you know he's he's really knows his stuff. Oh yeah that's right. There's quite a bit of drowning in this episode. Well all right so basically Ben now he's they're having a happy conversation, but he does bring in there that he's looking for Johnny and Hamp, and that calls it the bartender to get a fellow who has two names, Alexander Pendleton and Shanghai Pete. And that's Larry Tate. He comes out and he says, why don't you come with me to the end of the bar, you and me, and we can chat in more quiet. And have a drink of brandy squash. A brandy squash. Now, this took me, I'll tell you, I'll tell you right now, this took me by surprise. Me too. I did not know.

I didn't take the art was good. The old Ben Cartwright is standing over a t some water. And now he's in a whole bunch of water. That's it. Ben Cartwright's been Shanghai. I'm having one of those put under our house as an anniversary gift. Oh, what a good idea. So it's a trap door. Yeah. And then it falls into, you think a body of water? Well, yeah, like maybe an underground pool, but that might be too rich for our blood. So I think I just maybe just put a load of laundry at the bottom. Okay, all right. I'll tell what you do.

Get your husband on that trap door and just start asking all the questions he wants. And then you want, and then as soon as he pulls out that hammer, before he can hit you, can, let him fly, let him, let him, the the the the the the th, let him, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thoom, thoom, thoom, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th..., tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, and, t fly, turn the tails. Oh, that's genius. But what is the hammer? Well, okay, I gotta think about that. Okay. That's, no, that's a great idea. And then, but then, pretty soon he'll learn where the trapdoor is.

That's the only issue. Oh, right. A trap door kind of only works once on one person. Right. Right. But then it gets, it becomes sort of a fun party stunt. That's true. Yeah, that's like, uh,

if you have one of them cans of peanuts that's really got a snake in it, yeah, you only fall for that one time. What's that??, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that, that's that's tha, that, that, tha, thi. that want you only fall for that one time. Oh, are you do do you like peanuts? I love or you do? Well I have some here. I'm hungry to take a look inside that can front front view. Yeah bird's eye view. Oh yes sure thank yeah well that's good are you gonna enjoy those. Jesus H. Sorry that's a rattler in there my friend. Why would you do that? I'm scared and I'm still hungry. th for th for th for th for th for th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, that's. Oh, I I that's. Oh, I I that's. Oh, I that's. Oh, I I that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. Oh, that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. that's the th. that's the that's th. that's the th I'm still hungry for peanuts. Oh damn it! Why don't you take a seat on this chair instead of the chair you're in? Okay, I will, but I don't see why. No, come on, take a...

POOPS. Oh my gosh, what'd you have? Those 12 cans of beans? Oh, that's a good one. Put her here. Oh my goodness, she should- Oh, that hurts! Oh, that's not as funny because it involves pain. Yeah.

Unless you're from the East Coast, and then things are funny that are painful. And now I'm gonna shoot you both in the foot. Oh, come on. Well, just kidding. I'm.. thooooo, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho tho tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho. Oh, tho' thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo' th it, son of bitch! Oh, come on! Well... Just kidding, I shouted to the side. Oh, thank you. Well, yeah, those are, boy, those are fun. How about the fly in the ice cube? That one, if you find that one, you know,

you hate it, there's the fly that bothered him. It was just what looked like a snot cube. Right, exactly. Carl, sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of night and Carl will have put my hand in a bowl of warm water. Oh my. We're hoping that I'm gonna pee the bed. But I never have. But it's always a laugh. My mom used to do that but it was a bowl of warm piss. Oh, yeah. Put your hand in a bowl of warm piss and this happens to you to pee water.

Oh, you drooling. Oh, you drew? Yeah. That's, uh, I've never, I've never been on either side of that prank. Do it to me sometimes. I'd to see if it works for me. It's a good. You feel a little tickle on your head and you go to itch it and then your face covered with shaving cream. Hot dog, I like that. That's funny.

If that happened to me, I'd get up and shave. Do you ever have mystic smoke? Oh, no, what's mystic smoke? That was another one of them things. No. It was probably the... it was in the air in little streams and it looked like smoke was coming off your fingers. You're kidding me. Only it never looked like smoke. It just looked like goo. Doesn't sound at all familiar to me. My husband, I served him a whole bottle of crem to mint and he passed out and so I drew

Jesus all over his face and the whole next day people were looking at him and he had no idea. The whole he never caught sight of his own face the whole day, huh? No, he just he's not like that. Right. Like to look in the mirror and saw boy people were like, girl what? And you know, everyone's so nice where we live so nobody said anything, you know, in case it was something, a decision. Yeah, you don't want to say anything oh those are nice people so now Ben has been reunited with Johnny and Hamp they're in the whatever place they're keeping the Shane Hyde cowboys and but they

get they end up getting sold to Captain Shark but Captain Shark thu to the Captain Shark doesn't want Ben because Ben is sober. And Captain Shark lives by a code that he will only take a drunken man to work on his ship because they deserve to be abducted by their wickedness. And so he doesn't want Ben. So Ben's alone in there and that's when Kathleen comes in and she is an elderly Irish woman in the body of a young beautiful woman from New Jersey and he literally says to her what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this and then he offers her

five hundred dollars to help him escape from bondage and she she says she's gonna take it but you can tell from how she says it that she's lying? He's lying and he's he, and he's so he, he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's they. they. He's they. He's they. He's they. He's they. He's they. He's they. He's they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. He's they. He's they. He's they. He's they. He's they. He's they. He's the the the the the the the they. He's so the they. the the the they. the the the the the the the the the they. the the the the the the the to take it but you can tell from how she says it that she's lying. He's lying and he's so innocent. He's an innocent babe. Just being, well he's literally, I mean he's a baby. He's a little baby. He has no no idea is being lied to. He's in the big city. The ponderosa ways they don't take here. I guess that's right.

That's probably right. He believed a woman was showing a lot of cleavage. She was. That's a sign of untrustworthiness. Well, so now, Hauss is going to get serious, and he he's going to tear this whole damn town apart. He goes into the same saloon. Now you've had Joe, forthrightly asking questions, getting scared off by a hammer. You've had Ben, sweet talking the bartender and ended up down a hatch.

And now you've got Hoss who comes in there, fists flying. He threatens to tear out the bartender bart bart bartier bartier bartier bartier bartier ga's gea's gea's gea's gea's gea's gease, the the the barters, the the the the the the the the the the threatens to tear out the bartender's gizel pipe. That's what he says, I'm gonna tear, I'm gonna twist out your gizal pipe. I think it's a part of a locomotive maybe. I never heard it before. Anyway, he's, oh, he says, you're gonna, if you don't blah blah, you're gonna wake up with somebody tapping you in the face with a spade, which which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, Beans killing you'll be in a grave. You'll be in a grave. Okay So and that's when once again it happens again Old Alexander Pendleton shows up and he says hoss why don't you talk to me at the end he calls him laddie buck

He says laddie buck. Why don't you come talk to me at the end of the bar where it's nice and private and wouldn't you know Hoss falls for the trap door to man man. Man. Don't accept. to to to to to to the the the the the the the th. the th. the th. the the the th. the tap. the the the tap the tap the the the tap the the the th. the the th. tha. the the tha. tha. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. ta. ta. tape tape's tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tape. tha. tha. tha trapdoor too. Man, old man. Don't accept free drinks. Nope. Never stand at the end of the bar. Don't stand at the end of the bar. So now he's in this water and a fella comes along and offers to give him a hand out of the water, but Haas pulls him into the water. And now Haas can stand in this water, but this fella can't swim. And somehow he never finds the ground.

Right. And Haas is sort of waterboarding him basically to get the information he wants about where his paw is for crying out loud. Okay. And then what happened? Kathleen and Ben together, but she leads him, she helps him escape and leads him straight to cut rate Joe. And that's when we learned she also goes by Quick Buck, Katie. So Laddy Buck and Quick Buck. Laddy Buck, Qut Buck, Cut Rate and Shanghai Pete. That's when, uh, what happened? Oh, he gets sold for $75.

Ben gets sold. 75. To cut rate Joe for $75. Hoss comes in. Joe and Hopp sing happened upon the scene by way of a smashed down wall. Joe threatens to twist off Kathleen's arm at some point. She doesn't reveal where their father is or a hamper Johnny. And that is actually a situation we treat

is people who have, there's any sort of desire that comes up when you are threatened violently and then you, they kiss the oppressor. That's something we treat. We don't know the name for it yet. That's right. He's twisting her arm behind her back like he's gonna snap it right off and then he gives her a kiss and she's got a moment of, don't do it and then a moment of she just melts because his little Joe giving her kiss.

How of course she just moans and pleasure. Yes, being anyone gets kissed by a hairless purpose like that. You're immediately gonna go with it. His torso glimmers. Even if she tried to get out of it, she would her hands slip right off him. Yep, it's true. So now what's happened is the bin, because I guess the way Shanghai worked is that they, you could, you had to be dressed as a cat burglar to be purchased by the ship's

captain because cat burglars and sailors dressed the same. Black, long-sleeve shirt and a wool cap of some kind, dark wool cap. And so now he's dressed like that. And so Captain Shark still says, but he's sober, I won't take him. But then they just pour a bunch of liquor over his head, and Captain Shark says, oh, he smells of liquor, I'll take them. I don't understand that man's more.

Well, I didn't know what was a sailor until I heard the Popeye theme playing. And I guess it's like the gong for the Chinese. Yes, that's right. They play that boo-doo-doo-boo-boo-doo-boo-doo. Okay. Well now, what are we got? Well, Haas finds out what's going on. It all culminates on a boat that is docked down there, Barbary Coast. We got Johnny, Hamp and Ben are all like they're on the boat ready to leave. And they don't say what they're bringing to China. That's true. We don't th th th tho th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're all they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're to to to to to to th. th. to the. the. to the. to the. the. the. the. the. the. they're they're they're they're they're they're bringing to China. That's true. We don't know what the cargo is. Nobody seems in a real hurry to get going. Maybe it's iron ore. Oh, could be.

Wouldn't that be? Could be the entire population of Grand Moray? We don't know. But because of the surveillance of these various cousins, Haas and Little Joe and Hopsing find out where the boat is, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, is, is, the, is, the, is, the, is, is, is, the, the, is, is, the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the, is, is the the, the, is the, is, is, is, is, is, is the, is the, is the, is the, is, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho, the the tho, their tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thoa, thoa, thoa, tha, Joe and Hopsing find out where the boat is and what's going on and they ride to the rescue and we literally they play the, the, ptda, da da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, the cavalry coming in. And they storm onto the boat, and boy do we have that one of the best brawls ever in the their show to the point where Joe literally swashbuckles like a arrow flin on a rope right oh yes yes

yeah now something that happens three times in this brawl and each time it's it's played like a funny joke and they all laugh about it is that an unconscious man is dumped into the water where I suppose they will drown to death yeah I think so and that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th th th and th and that th th and th and th and th and th and th is that that that that th is that that that that th is that that that th is th is thi thi thi the th is th is th is th is tho. tho. tho. tho. thi thi th. that that that that that that that that that that that th is that that th is th is that th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that thi thi thi thi the the the they they they they they they they the they they the the the the the the the the thi thi th water where I suppose they will drown to this. Yeah, I think so. You won't die. And ain't that funny? Each time. Well, it's because there's three.

Oh, that's right. In the Bible, there's three instances of sex trafficking of young girls. And that's what makes it funny. It's Hagar, Ash, Abashag and Esther, and I have a line of tote-pags that you know just has quotes from when they were you know Hagar was raped by Abraham and then Abyshag was raped by King David for years and then Esther, she wasn't so much raped as sort of taken out of the crowd and then said the King said oh I'm I'm gonna kill all the Jews and then she she got up the nerve after a couple of

weeks to say I'm Jewish. And I mean if you want me to still stick around and I guess he did because and you know but you know but the the the the the the guy, you know, but the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the guy. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm Jewish. And I mean, if you want me to still stick around. And I guess he did, because, and you know, but the, but yeah, it's a rule of three that if it's, if it's any, three of anything, it's okay. So the first time, first rape there, you think, oh boy, I don't like that. That's dark. Second one, you're like, I'm concerned about this, where this is this is this is this is this is is going. The third time it's the will of God. And you're just you're just there to to sleep with the guy to have the next generation of Israelites.

So the first time in this episode when they take a fully unconscious man who's been beaten unconscious and dump them over the side of the boat into the San Francisco Bay and then sort of high-five and laugh at each other. You think, I don't know guys. And then the second time they do it to Captain Shark, he falls into the water and they just disappear. They go into the water and then you, that's it, they're gone. And you think, boy, they're leaving, they're walking away, and as an afterthought, a bug just flew in my mouth. God damn, still in there, son of a bitch.

All right. Ooh, my Marlon, Goddam, Brando? They're leaving the boat and there's an unconscious man slumped over the side and they go, thi, thin, thin, the, to, to, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, than, their, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, tho, their, their, their, tho, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, and, and, and, their, th......... th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, that, that, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, just, just, tho, just just, tho, tho over the side and they go, hey guys, just for fun, should we do one more? And they dump them in and then hop sin gives him a comical wave, goodbye. And now that time is when you go, okay, this is funny. What's the secret of drowning? Timing. Timing. Timing. Timing. Timing. Timing. But it was, it was like a Batman fight sequence... th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the thi. the the the thi, they. they. they. they, they, they, they, they. the, the, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. they. And they. And, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, the, th. And th. And the, the, the the the they. And they. And they. And they. And they. And, they. And, they. And, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, thi, they, they, they, they, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And thi. But it was it was like a Batman fight sequence partly because so many people was dressed in black turtlenecks and goon costumes. Yeah. And then they

thought they'd be safe and someone would grab them from behind and pull them back and lots of turns. It was good fun. Well and the same thing with the the human trafficking of young girls it's funny as long as they're turins. their tu. turns. tu tu tu tu tu. tu. It's tu. It's tu. It's tu. It's tu. It's tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu tu ti ti ti their their ti ti ti the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. same thing with the human trafficking of young girls, it's funny as long as they're pretty. Right. It becomes tragic when they're the best that, yeah, I saw it when they're not good looking, then it's just sad. Takes a little bit of the laughter off. You just think, oh no, they're not, they're not having a good time and they're unattractive. It's too much. It's too much. Too much bad stuff going on.

But I do have tote bags. That's a Hagar, Abashag and Esther. And it says, says, we did it for God. Anyways, it's, it's an inside joke for Christians. I'm gonna say the best thing about that topec, that's a classic conversation piece. Because somebody reads that and says, what does your bag mean? Yeah, and then you get to tell them. You get into it. You get us, ah.

And then by the time you're done, you've made a friend. You have made a friend. You have made a friend. Yeah. Yeah. And you've talked them about the job of bed companion, which is very common in the Bible if you're you you you you you you you th you th you th you th you're th you're th you're if you're a daughter of someone. How so? Your father needs a bed companion sometimes. Sometimes he needs someone to warm his feet.

Oh, I see. Unquote feet penis. Peenus. Oh, no. I'm confused. It all makes sense if you have faith. Okay. This is the first time hearing of feet penises myself,

but I will, I'll look into it. Because one, plural and one singular, feet penis. Oh, feet penis. Do they share a penis, the feet? I'm trying to parse this. Does foot, peni, foot penis makes sense. Hmm, I'll get back to you even though I don't know what I need to do. That's where it's confused.

You see, you think, oh, they can't be possibly talking about him. Rapeing his, his three daughters. And then it's like, oh, because it's a reference to his feet, but then you find out later that feet meant private parts. I see. I see, that that that that clear that clears that th th th th the great, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, the great, the great, the great, the great, the great, the great, the great, the great, the great, the great, the great, the great, the great thinks, thinks, the great thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, the, the, the, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. thean, thean, thean, thean, it's thean. thean. thean. that's that's thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. parts. I see. I see that clears it up. Well all right, hey the great thing is this episode ends. One of Hop sings many cousins. I believe it's cousin number seven. Well cousin number seven brings in a bolt of silk for Johnny which is something he wanted at the beginning of the episode and cousin number one is a chef and brings in a big meal of lobster and oysters just like they wanted at the beginning. Everything turns out fine.

Hey by the way I didn't mention to James Hong in this episode he plays number three cousin. In an episode in season two, he plays Hop Singh's number one cousin so he gets a promotion by two cousin-cousins-like. I'm worried about the cousin, two cousins ahead of you. Yeah, sure, me too. Oh no. Anyway, that there is an episode boy after this. Can you believe that this is terrible? Didn't you notice that they all have a left black eye at the end of the episode? Oh yeah. Everyone in the scene has a black eye on the left. That's right. They're gonna have to put their steak dinners on their faces. That's what they do. Yeah, and so it made me think of my new reality show pitch, which is, it's, I'm gonna be a pimple popper. So I'll, but it's, it's Dr. Amy's,

pimpopper's 1,000 pound 90-day fiance. So to qualify the show, you have to be over 1,000 pounds. Okay. Have a skin condition and then be in love. So all right, the contest, is it a competition show? So there's a thousand pounds. They have, they get pimples on their faces or anywhere. Anywhere. And what what because part of getting

A pimple extracted from around your eyes Which is the Bermuda Triangle is you'll get a black eye if you get anything extracted around your eye. So just FYI. Yeah, so it's like those guys were all on my show. A thousand pound person's gonna have more surface area and more likelihood to have pimples, so this makes good sense. It does, and then that they're in love makes it all the better because they're more sensitive to touch. This sounds good. The best part about it is just watching all them pimples get popped. I think people are gonna love that. Are you guys papaholics? Yeah, oh yeah, sure are.

I don't know. I gotta think of new names for it because there's already a show. And so I'd have to call, you know, like, Amy's non-medical professional squeezes your face show, but it doesn't sound as good. What's the show that currently exists? It's Dr's Dr's Dr's Dr Dr, it's Dr, the thappppippip, there, th. It's, th. It's, th. I, thipippip, th. I's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th show that currently exists? It's Dr. Pimple Popper. I did not know there was a show called Another Show called My Thousand Pound Life and then there's another show called

90 D a fiancé but if you put them all together that's what you really want to see is that a thousand pile in person going overseas to get their pimples pop. What is Dr. Pimple Popper? I guess... She pops out, pimples on screen. It's on the Learning Channel, where you really find out about dermatological tenditions that have gone way too far because no one has health care. The lesson to be learned from every learning channel that I don't want't wanna watch anything on the learning channel? What? Is that what they're trying to teach me?

You also discover what a lipoma is, which is a fat, it's not a cyst, but it's fat in a sack that just starts growing too much on your back usually. It usually somewhere where you've been hit, have a traumatic event, and it grows in a sack, and it gets removed. And you can do, it's, it's local anesthes. You can watch them grab the nuggets out of your body not a cyst. It's fat in a sack. It's a fatty tumor. Fat in a sack. Is it too late to change the show from bananas to Dr. Pimple Popper? I cover every episode? I mean this sounds pleasant as hell. I'll tell you what, let's table that until we get done with season one of Bananza.

Okay. And then, I don't know, it seems crazy, but I'm interested. I gotta see Dr. Pimple Popper. Well, there's another show that I've been considering. It's Sebacious cyst hoarders, where it's when you can't walk through your own home, because you got so much stuff, but if you bump anything your sister's gonna blow. Oh man. So it's a real because I've seen that show horrors and after a while it's like okay I see the the stakes of this situation you got a messy house maybe it's unhygienic you're gonna get sick if you can't have people over I've got it after one episode I've got it but

this person they can't walk through their they have something on their neck that has been growing for a while and oh no a Disney princess falls from a great height I'm I have 1600s I have sixteen hundred subace over the whole surface of my body and wouldn't you know it I love hoarding knit needles and letter openers and and magnets on the wall so they just stick out I can't go pop pop Is this is your audition team yeah I see sounds fantastic and of course if you're a hoarder I guess this happens if you're a hoarder you get one sebaceous cyst you're gonna think to yourself it'd be great to have more you're hoarding the cysts themselves well and also I just want to

see the most important thing about this is that there is virtually no health care provided on the show we is you are not not the the the the the the to the to to to the the to to to the the to the to the the to to the the to the the the to the to the the to the to to to to to the to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the thi. the thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is the the the th is th is the th is th. the the th. the the the. I I I I the the the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. I thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi.this is that there is virtually no health care provided on the show. We is you are not paid you sign a waiver and it's a pure exploitation. It's but it also all of the money earned by the franchise will go to Christian causes. Oh that's beautiful that makes me feel so much bitter about watching all those cysts pop. And people suffering lies! Yeah. What are you supposed to do when the sebaceous cyst pops? I've had two sebaceous cysts before. Okay. And I had to have them drained.

Oh, okay. I had one inside my lip. But on this show it's not going to happen. They're just going to... No, it pops. It pops. It pops. It pops. It pops. It pops. It pops. It pops. It pops. And th. And th. And th. And th. And the th. And the th. And th. And the th. And th. And the th. And th. And th. And the th. th. th. th. th. And I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It's. It's. It's. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. But on this show it's not going to happen, they're just going to... No it pops by accident sometimes. Well someone's... And the camera gets a good look at it, that's it. The camera gets a good look at it, and then it's off to the hospital that they're paying for. They're paying for it. Okay, good. Good. I love it. I'll watch that. And to get ready for it, I'm going to watch Dr the the the to watch, I'm going to watch, I'm going to watch, I'm going to watch, I'm going to watch, I'm going to watch, I'm going to watch, I'm going to watch, I'm going to watch to watch Dr, I'm going the to watch the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the camera the camera the camera the camera the camera the camera the the camera the the the camera the the the the camera the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's to get th. It's th. It's tap. It's tape. It's tape. It's tape. It's tape. It's tape. It's tape. It's tape. It's te. It's popper is every other doctor. Well all right, there is only 403 episodes left to Bonanza after this one. I'm sorry to say. How many episodes of Dr. Pimple Pupper left? Oh, there are so many videos, but I haven't made my first pilot episode so don't watch that until you've watched my show. Okay. Oh, all right.

Because I might also be, I might mix it up a little differently, like have it be blind date, intersex, eczema. Oh, I see. If you need a fix till her show comes out, just Google jacuzzi water out, just Google Jacuzzi waterbirths. Jacuzzi waterbirths. Sounds like something you've been checking out. I came home to it one time on the television, let me tell you that much. Let me just ask this. Are the jets an asset or a liability?

Depends on whether you like a swirling baby. Okay. All right. Well, Well folks you've got more than enough things to check out and so you do all that and we shall see you next time any other business. Hey anybody got anything to plug? No. No. No. We'll see you next time. Bye now. Bye now. Bananas for Bananza is brought to you by Andy Daly. With Maria Bamford and Matt Gorley. Theme song by Matt Gorley with The Journeyman, which in this case are Mark McConville, Daniel

Mitchikoff and Wade Ryan. Bananas for Banza is mixed and edited by Brett Morris and executive produced by Andy Daly, Matt Gorley, Brett Morris and Little Scott Acker. We'll see you next time.