Bonanas for Bonanza - Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #31: “Dark Star”

Episode Date: April 10, 2024

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDalyThis exciting and not at all offensive episode of Bonanza sends Amy Sleeverson into a total crisis of faith and a possible demonic possession. Also, as yet another Bonanza love interest comes and goes, serious consideration is given to the possibility that the Cartwright boys may be eunuchs. Featuring Andy Daly as Dalton Wilcox, Maria Bamford as Amy Sleeverson and Matt Gourley as Mutt TaylorMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.comRecord date: 6/1/2022 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Academy Award winner Helly Berry. One touch without a robot is all in text. Say it. Never let go. We're the world now. Never let go. In theater September 20th. You're about to listen to Bananas for Bananza episode 31.

This is Andy Daly. Here on this free feed, I'll be re-releasing all of the back episodes of Bananasa for Bananza one every other week. If you want to hear new episodes, add free, please subscribe to my Patreon at Patreon.com slash Andy Daly. The entire Bananas for Bananza Archive is also waiting for you there, and you can access lots and lots of bonus content. So do that. Okay, thank you. Enjoy. Yeah. Oh Namsa, it's a finest show alive. So consult your TV guide. Get your great outdoors inside. Get your great outdoors inside.

Take some ponderosa pride and forever made Ride I'm bananas for bananas. Fantastic. I'm gonna start with the yee-haw. Hey! Fantastic. I'm going to start with the yehaw. Hey, yehah! Whoa, that was a big one. What'd you fire off there? It's echoing through the cany's theas, didn't that? That's right. That was a tiny little 22 caliber, but the canyon was big.

The canyon was real big. Oh, you can hear duckie. That's duck. That's a rumba. Let me tell you. Just sweeping up all the, all the cat hairs and whatnot. Every corner of the house. Oh, well, good for her. All right. Well, uh, hey, it's bananas for bananza. And, uh, hello. too. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. She. She's. She's. She's. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a.anas for Bananza. I'm Dawd, well, Cox, I'm your host. I'm here with Muttailer, who you heard from a moment ago. How do you? And Amy Sleverson.

Christian, I'm an entrepreneur though. I'm not sure if I can see that about myself after watching this episode. Why? Why that? Well, why that? Well, I? I? I? I? th you? th you. I. I. I. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. I. the. the of my belief system has been moved around or something that I've been shattered. I'm shattered. I mean, you've been a Christian as long as we've known you and probably longer. Well, and not only that, but in sales. And I just, I don't know which we is up anymore. Oh my God.

Wait, so you're not only questioning your faith, but also commerce and sales? Well, if witches turn into wolves and compassion is in the eyes of the beholder, maybe God is a construct and sales goals are arbitrary and without meaning. Oh my God. You lost me, stop. Yeah. If you can't believe, how can we believe. Oh my God, you lost me. Stop. Yeah. If you can't believe, how can we believe?

Oh, this is shocking. This is real shocking. All right, well, let's talk a little bit about this episode and then I want it, because it obviously had a major effect on Amy Slaverson. And it must have you too with what, with were wolf ladies? Believe me. I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. This, I, th. This, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, this, thus, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this is, this, this, this, th. This is, th. This is, th. This is, th. This is, th. This is, th. This is, th. This is, th. This is, th. This is, th. This is, th. This is, th. This is shocking. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. this is shocking. This is, this is, this is, this is, this is, was very, I said finally they're talking about real issues on this program such as werewolfism. But yes, this episode has everything. It has a constantly repeated slur.

It has one of the best brawls I've ever seen on any television show involving a whip no less. It has incantations and magic and all kinds of you you name it it's got it. Glassware. Glassware. Very important, plot important glassware. Tons and tons of facial bronzer. An enormous amount of lip gloss. And and a type of language ethnicity that's called enunciation. Yeah. Yeah. Enunciation.

Don't use contractions and you are an other. This episode is called the Dark Star. It is episode 31, season one of Bonanza, which I think I previously might have thought was the last episode of the season. It is not. There's one more to go. They only made 32 per season. Well, how did they dare? How did they dare such

bitches? And this episode concerns, it turns out, so I looked up, here's specifically what I did. There's a moment in this episode where these people, they're a traveling band of peoples and they serve as a delicacy, milk mixed with the blood of an unborn calf as a delicacy. So I went online and I said is that, did they really do that? T that? that? that? that? They th th th th th th th th th th they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they they they serve as a delicacy milk mixed with the blood of an unborn calf as a delicacy. And so I went online and I said, did they really do that? This group of people? And I typed in what they're called in this episode.

And all I heard was don't call them that. And I never did get an answer about the blood of the calf. But anyways, we're meant to call them Roma's or Ramones. Not as they're called in this episode. I'm going to go ahead and say it the one time, Egyptians. And that word is repeated a million times in this episode. And apparently, by the way, the reason they called them that is that people thought they was from Egypt. You know the way we call people from Egypt that. Is it short for like Gipt? Egypt. Exactly. Gipt C's. Isn't that

interesting? Wow. We said we wouldn't say it again, but I say it's not so much interesting as it is confusing about what's right and what's wrong. Oh no. I'm telling you, things do get confusing on this show when they grapple with real topics. So we are going to talk heavily about the Romani's peoples and how they come across in this episode. I think it's a pretty flattering depiction and all kinds of things, but I do want to talk a little bit about what was going on on the original air day to this episode.

Okay. Now, because this is a big one. This is, you're not going to believe it. April 23, 1960. On this date, British crypto zoologist and self-employed insurance salesman Tim Dinsdale captured what many believe to be the only film of the Loch Ness monster. Whoa, in his bathtub. No, no. He was at the goddamn Loch Ness, and you see, you can find this footage, Tim Densdale's footage. Oh, yeah, it looks like it could be a boat or any number of other things.

But I believe, I believe it was a Lochness monster. And you ever come across a Nessie? Certainly I have. I went looking for one, the gift shop shop. to to to to to to to to to to sell me a goddamn key chain for 495. He's a shapeshifter and can become a sea monster or a man. And matter of fact, I encountered several of them while I was up there and took care of them. Now they don't have no Mottlockness monsters up there as far as I know. So you're welcome, Scotland. But yeah, yeah, so that was a big day for monsters. And then on the billboard charts, I looked up the number one song in the country. I'm on tender hooks. And it was.

What? The theme from a summer place by Percy Faith. That's crazy. Now, however, while looking that up, I says myself, hang on a goddamn minute. Was they not tracking country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country country? that country? that country? that? that? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? that. I that. I that that that that that that that that that that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I? I? I that. I? I that. I? I? I that. I that. I? I? I? I that. I that. I? I? I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that looking that up, I says to myself, hang on a goddamn minute. Was they not tracking country music songs at this time? And hymns? And oh hymns too, I could look at will. So this time I says to myself,

I'm gonna look up what was number one on the country music charts, God damn, and why do I care what's number one on the blah blah chart this is. Right, right. And, right. And, right. And so. And so. And, right. And so. And so. And so. And, right. And, right. And, right. And, right, right. And so, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. And, thi. And, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. And, well. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the. And, the. And, the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the th. the the th. the th. the the the th. the the the th. the th. the the th. th. th. go at Brett stop playing that goddamn theme from a consumer place thank you very much the number one song on the country music charts as an April 23rd 1960 was he'll have to go by Jim Reeves do you know this song yes it's the one that starts put your sweet lips a little closer to the phone your sweet lips and Brett's to the phone. And Brett's playing it right now. Now we're going to run into a similar problem because it was number one on the country charts

from February 8th to May 9th. Oh well now if they're both on the top of the charts, Brett just play a little of both of them together. At the same time? Okay, sure. In a mashup. Yeah. That's a nice matchup. Now, this song, if you're not familiar with it out there, here's what happens in this song. A man is calling on the telephone from a place where there's a jukebox. And he gets his woman on the phone. But he can over here in the background, there's another man there. Oh my god. It could be anyone. The jukebox is where he is or is it a party? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi thi thi tho- thoom- thoom- thoom- thoom- thoom- tho tho thi thi thi thi thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo the thi thi th be anyone. Wait, the jukebox is where he is or was she? He's where a jukebox is. Is it a party line? I don't believe, no, oh good question. The song doesn't address that question. I think it should. The song makes it sound like it's point to point. Okay.

Person-person phone call. And there's another there's another person in the room, and he says the course of the song is, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thoxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. th, the course of the song is, that other fellow that's there with you, he'll have to go. Oh. Even if it's her adopted son? He doesn't, he doesn't seem to care. What if it's her clergyman? Either way. Jim Reims is very clear, you guessed. Maytag repair man. Maybe the washers overflowing. for an honored guest. Jim Reeves is very clear, you guessed.

Maytag repair man, maybe the washer's overflowing. Could be. But Jim Reeves isn't asking questions. He is simply saying, he'll have to go. I see. Okay? Wherever he is, he's laying down the goddamn law. And I think of it as romantically menacing.

Just one more thought. Uh-huh. What if there's been a break the break the break the break the break the the the the the the the there's been the the the the the the the there's been the the the the the there's been the the the the the thease thease thease there's thoes thoes thi thiase is thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes is thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thought. Uh-huh. What if there's been a break-in and that man as a police officer swore and a protector? Okay, sure. He's there just to take a sworn statement about a break in an entrance situation or something like that. It'll have to go. Or it's another country singer, but on the radio that he he's with, he just thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks, thinks, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, he, he's, he's, thi, the the he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, the the the he the the the the he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, the thinks it's on the other end when in fact it's George Jones. See, there's all kinds of possible situations.

Could she be a voiceover actress? Oh, there's that. And she's just playing her reel in the back? What if she's possessed and doing a, doing a Reagan from Exorcist? So she's speaking with multiple tongues. Right. So it's a voice of a demon in there. Well, then all the more he has to go. You know, they've talked about how some people can get a radio station on their teeth fillings. Oh yeah.

Maybe she's just get some fella talking the news. That would be a constant problem for this woman to chalk on the phone. Yeah, yeah, that'd be bad. She'd never hold down a relationship. The suspicion would kill everyone. But Jim Raves is very clear. He's not asking any questions. He don't want to know who it is or what they're there for or what's going on. He says, he'll have to go. And then, uh, now, this was very popular. This was such a response song that went to number two itself

and it was called, He'll Have to Stay. Oh my God. Yes, sir. Now here's what is communicating he'll have to stay. It's her saying, hey, where are you with that jukebox in the background? I can hear you're at a bar with your friends or something like that. Number one. Number two, you stood me up last night and so you're damn right out there's somebody else here and I like them a lot and he'll have to stay that's right this is a sassy and a lippy song a mouthy song red out there's a new movement in at my church and it's for Polly relationships with him so my husband and I have for Polly relationships with it.

So my husband and I have taken on a secondary. Oh, secondary what? Well, relationship with another couple of thea and we're not sure who's supposed to pair off with who, but we've just had dinner a couple of times and they seem nice. And you're not picking up a vibe either way as to whether he's more, the other husband is more interested in you or your husband, you can't quite tell? No, we're going to, the whole thing of Pali relationships is just to do a lot of communicating and a lot of talking to be clear about what their relationships are and then, then, you know, so that everybody's on the same page and and then, and then, th then, then, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th when, th when, th when, thus, thus, thin, thin, thin, thin, the the the the the the thi the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the, the, the, the, the, the, thean, theat, thea, thea, thea, thea, thean, thean, to be the, the, and then then you know so that everybody's

on the same page and and and then once you do that and it takes to three to six months oh then you can then you can kiss a leg or... That's already start? The first thing you kiss is one of the legs. Well that's what I would go for. Okay no that's fine you do. Do you have any fancy if you find yourself leaning t he kisses one of the legs. Well that's that's what I would go for. Okay no that's fine. Do you have any fancy if you find yourself leaning towards one of them in particular? Well I I hate to I don't want to tell my husband because it's part of their you know I don't want to feel like disloyal but then I know this is a new practice in our church, and so I want to be a good participant.

But we're just, we're just finding, we're just, this is in discovery. We're in discovery. Okay, all right, well, you're going to have to keep us updated as to how it goes there. These do. I'm concerned. I have some concern. I have some interest. I'd like to hear the sense of. I'm surprised that you you you you you you you you you that you you that you to that you to that you to that you to to that you to th to th th th to th th th to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be that that that that th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thia. thia. thia. thia. thia. thia. thia. thia. thia. thia. I have some interest. I'd like to hear that a polyamorous relationship has so much to do with communication. It's all paperwork. Oh, that. A lot of it is contractual and then you, everything is written down and it's notarized. But that's the type of just prolonged forplay that could really get my rocks tum. Yeah. It gets, it gets, it, it's, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, there, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. I, the. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, floorplay that could really get my rocks tumblin.

It's get, there's a lot of frisson in wax, what is that? Oh, the wax seal of the... Yeah, you can all that. And everything notarized about it. Some prints and all that. Yeah, I'll tell you what. Then you know what can fit in different crevices. Sure you do.

They got to, you know, I mean, I don't even know much about it. I just want to be supportive to my husband because it was, you know, he's the one who wanted to look out and just, it's not that he doesn't want to be with me. It's that he wants to have to have to have to have to have other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to look out and just it's not that he doesn't want to be with me it's that he wants to have other experiences so that he appreciates being with me. Oh that's a good way for him to have put it. That's right. So it's like you you like you like pot roast but you got to have a terrible ttriangle sandwich at the truck stop to make you appreciate the pot roast. That's exactly right.

I never thought of that. But that is a sign of low quality of a sandwich when they cut it in a triangle. Why is that? How come you know as soon as you see a triangle sandwich, you're in trouble. That that meat's gone bad. I wonder. Well, that's something we can look into. All right, well I wish you the best of luck with that. What do you know about them? Is there biographical details do anything for a living or anything like that? Oh, for the our couple. Yeah, our new couple is one's an urban farmer. Oh, and he's nice and he likes to, he says you can make a Rugal grow anywhere.

And then I said, well that's what I said, I think this guy is trying to sell me a bill of goods. And then, and the wife is a pilot. A pilot of airplanes? She's a jet fighter. Oh wow. Doesn't that do anything for you? Yeah, well that's, I thought, well she's got good eyesight, that's for sure.

You know, she can see us coming. I mean, if we were in a, if we're going to meet in an area that was, you know, a lot, like an open air mall. Yeah. Yeah, if you was obscured by clouds, she'd have some ideas to whether you're there, she'd consult her instruments. Or that's scared by a banana republic or something. Yeah, right.

Well, okay. that, uh, that night, April, April 23rd, 1960th, the…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………a. to…a. to…a. to…a. to…a. to…a. that that that that's…a. that's… that's… that's… that's… that's… that's… Yeah. that's… Yeah. that's… Yeah. that's………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………a. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thatthat? Oh, that night April 23rd 1960 at the Grand Old Opera you did have Jim Reeves there singing his classic song and Chet Atkins come on stage during the performance to present Jim Reeves with his gold record for he'll have to go. Yep it was a big night for those folks and then hey we've got a new big hot movie of the week. No more been her. The new the number one movie this th. th. th. th. th. the the movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie movie th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the th. the the th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the of the week. No more Ben Hur. No more Ben Hur. The new, the number one movie this week was, please don't eat the daisies. You ever hear that movie? Yeah, that's Rock Hudson, Doris Day. Sounds good. Am I making that up?

No, it sounds about right. They move up to the country from the city and they have all kinds of a partly inspired the Brady Bunch from what I understand. What are you looking up? You're looking at who's in that movie? Yeah, but it was Doris Day, oh and it's David Niven. Oh yeah. But was it also not yours, mine and ours that inspired the Brady Bunch too? Okay.

Ah, fuck it. Yep, fuck it is right. We got some good celebrity birthdays, finally. Steve Clark, the English rock guitarist of a band called Def Leppard was born on April 23rd, 1960. Savage, Savage. Oh no, it was he Savage, Steve, Stee, he was Steve, something Clark. Now you gotta look at it up to.

Okay, but isn't he the one that passed away? He did. What happened was he got so drunk that he broke some ribs and they put him on the painkillers and then he got so drunk that he can't, you couldn't breathe. Oh. And so that was the end of that fellow there. But he had a bad nickname. There was another guy in the band named Savage. There was another guy named Viv. Steve Clark. Well, you're not thinking of... Then they took on an American to replace this guy whose first name was Vivian.

Oh, Vivian? Yeah, ridiculous. An American named Vivian. How do you know that after watching this episode that everyone doesn't just die of evil? Everyone, certainly not the corporates. Well, now that I realize all their mothers died, doesn't it mean that the three boys are evil? And that- Oh shit!

They perhaps, they have never consummated any sort of romantic relationships with women? So could they be unix? Unix? Like, because they, they can't...they just don't know what they believe anymore. Oh Lord, this is a profound crisis of faith. Amy Sleverson is considering the possibility that the cartwright boys is witches and eunuchs. Well, now last time, that guess was Chad was saying they was in-sales.

So maybe that's why they're in-cells because them's eunuchs. It would certainly explain hoss. Because he's so big and strong, right? Isn't that a eunuch supposed to get strong? I don't know why that is. Yeah, it seems like it's the other way. Little Joe, he, he's, he fell in love it, but he couldn't, he couldn't tell him. thi-he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he to to to to to to, he to, he could, he could, he would have, he would have, he could, he would to, he would to, he would to, he would would to, he, he, he, he would would would would would would, he, he would would would to, he would would, he would to, he would to, he would, he'd to, he'd to, he'd to, he'd to, he'd to, he'd to, he'd to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to told, he would told, he would told, he would told, he would told, he would told, he would told, he would deal Oh, he sure couldn't but he he could have we'll talk about that There's a way he could have but what do you learn over there about Rick Savage you are right my friend Rick Savage was the bassist. Okay. Yeah, Steve had a bad nickname. I forget what it was something's done Yeah, I can't find out. that's all, if they're interested, you can find out for themselves. Who else was born on that day was Valerie Burton L.A. Oh, wow. She's wonderful. Isn't she terrific?

One day at a time, one of the most funnest shows that are made. She's a son-naim wolf. She has a son-name wolf. God's right. Oh shit! Good Lord, all the signs are lining up. Oh my God. We'll have to take care of her and him. Well, okay, there's all the, you can stop playing the mash-up of he'll have to go and theme from a summer place. That must have been hard to listen to. You're not thinking that his full name is just Stephen Maynard, are you? That's bad. That's pretty, but... That's pretty bad. Okay.

I saw some interviews, somebody was talking about him and they said, old Steve, something Clark, he was blah, blah, blah. Whatever's. All right. Yeah. Our profit and loss sheets just ruins. Our balance sheets, just a charm around my neck. Oh my, why would you say that?

Me nothing. Amy, I'm worried about you. I just, I just, it's just got me to thinking this whole, a whole, whole episode. Why did this episode make you question commerce? Well, it's just the whole, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the foundation of what the bonanza and what the ponderosa sits upon, which I thought was bedrock. Oh, Lord. Oh, dear, I might have something I might cheer you up.

Rick, Steve Clark's nickname is the Riffmaster. I don't even think that's the one I was thinking of. Let me tell you, when you Google Steve Clark nickname, there is a full heading that just says, in bold, the Riffmaster. The Riffmaster, okay, well that is bad. That's bad nickname. All right, let's get to some fun facts for this episode. The Dark Star.

This episode was written by a fellow by the name of Anthony Lawrence, who had a long career from Adventures that ran 1010 all the way to the Marshall Warfield show in 1991. Oh, Marshall Warfield. You remember her? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, that is, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's thi. that's that's thi. th. that's thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th Marshall Warfield. Do you remember her? Yeah, long face. I don't know. She was on the Rat Patrol or rather he wrote for the Rat Patrol and Medical Center and this is the first to six episodes of Bonanza. Now listen to what do I found out about this fella. He wrote three episodes coming up later in the show.

Each one is a flashback of Ben with one of his wives. How soon do we get to those? It's gonna be a little while. Like season four or something like that. We gotta start jumping ahead. Does he have the head of a goat and claws? This writer who could go back into the past? Well, you're not kidding.

He wrote some crazy shit. He wrote that speech that the Romani priestess delivers about the cavern, the cavern guarded by nine white dogs. He got real specific. I haven't heard the word flagging since I was reading Shakespeare as a kid. Where'd this guy come up with flagging? As Modaus, is the name of a guy who works in my coffee shop! Oh no! Did you say a guy or a god? A guy? A guy? But he might be a god. That's another

one I meant to Google. Asma deas, have you heard that word before in your travels? Let me look it up. Has it been the devil? Is that Steve Clark's nickname? As modeus directly translates to the riff master? As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As. As, the to. As. As. As. As, the the the to. As. As, to. As, to. As, to. As, to, the to, the the the the the the to, the the to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the the the to, to, the the the the the the the the the the the to, the the the the to, the the to, the to, the the toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. directly translates to the Riffmaster. Oh, God damn! How do you spell that? Hey, before your guess is good as mine? Asmodias, what is it? Okay. Phonetic? Yeah, just do it.

Prince of demons in Judeo-Islamic lore, one king of the earthly spirits called the Rhoes, mostly known for the Dudauricanicanicanical Book of book................. Ine, the book, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, that, thi, thi, thi, that, thi, that, thi, that, that, th, th, th, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, th.. th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, who's, who's the the the the the. the theeeeeeeeee. the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. theuturicaneconical Book of Tobit, in which he is the primary antagonist. Nine creamy chihuahuas. Oh, yeah, you're right. It's a bunch of animal heads. Oh, Asmodeus has animal heads? I guess. Shit. I gotta look out for them now.

I don't got enough, got enough, goddamn problems. Do you guys know or from Malius Malifacarum or from the dictionary infernal? Well, it sounds like God damn Anthony Lawrence was reading at least one of them books. I bet he's hanging out with Alistair Crowley out in there and JPL Canyon jerking off into the sand. That's right. Yep. I'm sure he was.

What a son of a bitch. Well then, now the beautiful Tears, the Romani Wolf Woman in this episode was played by Susan Harrison, who was famously the ballerina in an episode of the Twilight Zone where it's a bunch of, I'm gonna spoil it for you. It's Toy Story, basically. There's toys in a bucket and they don't know who they are. She's the balleriner. And she was in a sweet smell of success.

Now here's a, this is a true fun fact. When you go looking for fun facts and you find something like this, you say, hey, that's fun. Her daughter was a woman by the name of Darva Conger. That brings a bell for you. Of course it does. It's thia. It thia. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the fun. the fun. the fun. the fun. the fun. It's. It's. It. It's. It's. It. It. It. It's. It's. It. It. It's. It. It's. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a th. It's a the. It's a the. It's a to. It's a to. It's a to. It's a to. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. Conger. I'm trying to remember it was a scandal of some kind, right? Like she was a, uh, a mistress of a politician or something. What? And drag them to her bed for a lunch. Not that bad. I cut them into triangle sandwiches. Yeah, not that bad.

Darva Conger was the winning contestant on who wants to marry a multi-millionaire. That's right. In February of 2000, she married that strange fellow named Rick Rockwell. They found a multi-millionaire named Rick Rockwell to put at the center of that show. What came first? The chicken or the name? You're here. And then he married Darva Conger. Holy shit. Are they still together? Not even remotely. As a matter of fact, she held a press conference that she that she that she that she that she that she that she that she never that she never that she never that she never that she never that she never that she never that she never that she never that she never that she never never never never never that she never never never never never never that she never never never that she never never had that she never had that she had that she had that she'd that she that she they still together? Not even remotely. As a matter of fact, she held a press conference to make clear that she never had sex with that man. Wow. And so she's the daughter of the werewolf gal in this tears of the werewolf gal, which, yep, Darv with Congress, Susan Harrison's daughter. Oh, shit. Ben, we're all connected. We are all connected. This is a

tough place of madness. Yep. Zirco. Is his name? The her father or whatever. I'm not clear that that was her father. Is that her father? Yes. The main fella. Yes. He was a legendary Czechoslovakian actor who's when the Nazis came he said so long a hard pass on that. Possor, Fantastic Burtostowski. That means watch out fantastic blueberries When the Nazis came, he said, so long, a hard pass on that. POSOR, FANTOSTERXK, POSKEY. That means watch out fantastic blueberries and check. Wow, you got it all. I do. I just learn that.

But they try to find, learn things in case I ever travel. And you would say what again? What about blueberries? Watch out. That'll come in handy. So if there's a group there called the Fantastic Blueberries and there's like a giant boulder rolling toward them, you're the person they want. That's like non-trouple yacco in Italy. What's that mean? Not so much hairspray. Dobra noot's good night. That's Nick Dina Hosen.

What? D'uces Nick Dina Hosen. These are not my pants? Exactly. That's German, I believe. Okay, he was, uh, yeah, so when he came here, he was a, he did a movie called Skeleton on Horseback.

I'm gonna have to check that one out. But this here episode of Bonanza is his final television appearance. Oh no. Yes. He traveled back to Europe and died of asthma, which was something you could do in those days. Then you got a fellow by the name of Arthur Batonides who played Spiro, the evil Romani. Yeah, he was. He was bad. He has a very famous death in Star Trek, where some woman episode of Star Trek where some woman who's an energy field says, I am here for D'Amato and Strax him dead.

He played Mr. Kirkland in Police Academy 2 through 6, excluding 5. Wait a minute. Do you know who Mr. Kirkland is in the Police Academy movie? I just watched all the Police Academy. And I can't say that I do. Hold on, I gotta look it up. Please, who, Mr. Kirkland? Kirkland. Like the Costco store brand.

Police Academy. But you says from two to six. Yeah, oh he's excluding five. Okay, yeah. He had to take a pass on five out of quality control. He said the script is not up to snuf to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be.. to be. to be. to be in to be in to be in to be in to be in the the to be in the the to be in the the the to be in the to be in the the the the the the the to be. to be. to be. to be. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to take a pass on five out of quality control. He said the script is not up to snuff, gentlemen. I'd love to be in the movie, but you gotta pass it off to Babelou Mandel. Okay, hold on.

Okay, I'm looking. The bottom's dropped out for me. Oh, the bottom's dropped out for me. There is no certainty anymore. If, if, if Bonanza and, if this isn't sure of how the world works, and there may be another way the world works, and it's entirely unique way that involves animism? Then is this? Is this perhaps a worst show in the history of television?

Hey, miss, leave or still. How dare you? You've gone too far? Are you, are you possessed? Are you a dark star? I don't know. I don't even know if I'm speaking right now. Wait, let's get Jim Reeves on the phone.

What's his name? Jim Reeves? He'll have to go to the devil? He'll call up and see if there's someone there with you. Oh my God. Oh no! Oh Lord, what's happening? She's walking up the stairs on her hind legs all fours backwards and there's not even stairs in the room.

Quick, put a flagging on the fire. Quick, quick bucks, quick books, quick books, quick and no, she's possessed, but quick and quick loans is buzz marketing our podcast. I hope you're getting paid well for this. Come back to us. Go turn away from Osminodeos and his nine-headed dog. Put away your book of Tobin. Oh, I've come out.

Oh, praise Jesus. Amy. Thank you for the Laquois. That helps. That is refreshing. A pep almost lequeu. Amy, you were possessed. Here, let me put a little holy lequois on your forehead. Okay.

Thank you. I didn't know what were. You're all right. We're going to get to our goal by the end of this episode is to bring Amy back around. Look, the better part of faith is doubt, is it not? Without doubt, how can there be faith? Lie down. Lie down. Yeah.

Well, we're going to bring you back. Okay. I'm fine now. Oh, really? Oh, you feel all right. I don't think you were there for there for th for th for their for their for th for th for th for their th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th. I'm fine now. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, you feel all right? I'm okay. Well, I don't think you were there for what we saw, but... Yeah, you took your leave of us for a little while there and it was disturbing.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. Holy crap, we'll play you back because you're recording, right? Oh, yeah, sure. Unless it's like, you know how a vampire can't show up in a mirror, maybe a demon don't show up on audio or something, I hope not. But listen, I found out who Mr. Kirkland is and he is memorable as hell.

Is that right? Yeah, he's, Tackleberry. Yeah, he's tackleberry. Yeah, thanks. to have him. to be back in Mr. Yeah, very good to hear you. Oh, no, I, I don't know what I said during that time.

Yeah. But just know that I am right. I'm back in business. So was that, were you gone this whole episode or just that time? What? Well it was mostly an ad for Quicken Loans to be I'm a... Yeah, well, we see... They have a great interest rate, especially if you want a jumbo. Yeah, that's right. And out here in California, you have to have... Hell, there is is jumbo. I don't even know what that is, god damnit. I don't, I don't believe in buying property. I believe in taking it. Hell yes. Put up a fence, that's yours. Imminent domain. Yep. Well, uh, all right, last thing I want to tell you is that Grandin Rhodes who played the doctor in this episode. This is his first of 26 times playing Dr. J. P. Martin on Benza, except for one time when he played Dr. Rob Kiefer. I th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I don't. I don't. I don't. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, well. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. Well, well. Well, well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, well. Well, well. Well, well. Well, well. Well, th. Well, th. Well. Well. Well, th. Well. Well. Well, th. th. Well, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. fer. I think they must have just forgot his name.

All right. Well, let's get into you guys ready to talk about this episode. Sure am. Academy Award winner, Helly Berry. One touch without a robot, his all index. Say it. Never let go. We're the world now. Never.

Let go. In the theater September 20th. Oh, of course. Man. Okay, it starts with an exterior shot of the Pondrosa. Then we cut to some mutual of Omaha footage of a wolf who's just kind of meandering around in the woods. And then we see Joe and Hawson, they're looking for this wolf. They're looking for timber wolf. And they split up and Joe discovers. For wolf meat. Are they going to cook up some wolf

meat? Right? Oh, that's a good question. I thought maybe they was killing deer or something. Oh, I think the wolf was terrising terizing terizing terizing terizing the wolf the wolf the wolf the wolf the wolf the wolf is the wolf is the wolf the wolf is the wolf is the wolf the wolf the wolf the wolf the wolf is the wolf the wolf the wolf the wolf the wolf the wolf the wolf the wolf the wolf the wolf the wolf th. I was the wolf th. I was th. I was they're. I was they're. I was they're. I was they're. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was they're. I was they're. I was they're. I was they're. I was they're. I was the wolf. I was the wolf. I was the wolf. I was the wolf. I was the wolf. I was the wolf. I was t. I was t. I was t. I was. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm.the pound of roaches. I have a new product. It's a vegan jerky, but it is wolf meat. It's a flavor of wolf meat, but it's also called the body of Christ with no guilt. Yeah, that sounds good. So you can kill a wolf and eat it. I want to know how wolf meat is vegan meat, or is it just flavored like. It's flavored like wolf meat. So you can't tip. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. It is. It is. It is. It is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's thean. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thi. It's thea. It's thea. It's thea. It'm temp, I want to know how wolf meat is vegan meat, or is it just flavored like the flavor like wolf meat. So you can't tell the difference.

You can't tell the difference. You can't tell the difference. But it's also the body of Christ, the bread of heaven. But it tasks like real wolf meat and as well as it works on so many levels as a Christian. You know, sometimes you get kind of detached from, you know, you have a wafer and you go, well that didn't have a lot of crunch to it even though it's, you know, it's Jesus. Yeah, yeah. It's jerky Jesus. You should not be disappointed in the taste of Jesus. Yeah, and so we've come up with something that has a

umami taste. Oh, I've heard of that before. It's like a fish sauce or something, fish powder. It's a certain type of taste bud region on your tongue that we were never taught in school but now seems to be factored. That's just regular, always there. If you eat Christ, don't you want the experience to feel like, oh, I think I'm going to have another one. Yeah, absolutely. Nobody can eat just one Jesus. Yeah, you don't want to eat Christ and say, no thank you. I don't give a kid if I try that. Yeah, you clear your plate. I mean, you want to clear it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm, listen, I'll buy a case of ummm Jesus.

You bet, yeah, I will. Well, uh, okay, but Joe discovers a woman. And she has been sleeping out in the woods, but she somehow out there is able to get real made up her face, the makeup. Thick. Very thick. And it's particularly the lip gloss to me. It's almost a, it's genuinely offensive black face.

It really is. And it's not even that the makeup is that dark. It's just how starkly it fades from makeup to regular skin color around the ears and neck. Oh, I didn't. Oh, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, and it's, it's, it's not, it's not, it's the, it's the, it's just, it's the, it's the, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha. the the the the the tha, it's the the thea, it's the.. Oh, I didn't look that careful. I did. Huh. Well, maybe that's just the way the Romani people were. That must have been. Lighter colored ears and necks, perhaps. But so she is, they call her, they call her what they call her,

and Haugh says he ain't never seen one of them up close before. And then, uh, then we go to go the they they they they they they, they, they, they, they, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, thi, that's, thi, thi, thi, thi, then we go to the opening credits. What happened to her? Is she out cold? Oh yeah, she runs away and she falls down and then she does a big log roll down the hill and it looks like a lot of fun except that she then I guess tracks your head on a rock or something. Yeah that's too bad. Or has a stroke a mini stroke. Maybe it's a stroke. Because we didn't see her eyes before she opened them. It could have been, they could have been going all over the place. Oh, it could have been a stroke. Yep, because it is hard to understand what else would explain that fall. They should have put a wallet in her mouth.

Yeah, goddam, thea, come on, Hawes. Well, so now we end up at this girl and then he comes out and then he for the benefit of the audience explains What it is that we're looking at here and he's a this right here is seems like Well, I don't know what to say about it. I'm just gonna play it. This is Doc Morgan explaining this lady this lady. Gypsy girl. Well, we were aware of that doctor. She's gonna be all right? Can't hurt a gypsy. They're their they they they they they they their they they their they their they're their their they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th. th. th. th. thi is that's that's that's that's that's that we're that we're that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the their their their their their that's that's that's that, Doctor. Is she going to be all right? Can't hurt a gypsy there built to endure. Oh, no, Doc. She looked like she's pretty well shook up to me. Oh, she'll come out of it all right.

Just give her a day in bed and then send her on her way. Yeah, well, where's that? Where her people are doctor. Oh. Well, soon she's on her feet, you'd best turn her over to the sheriff in Virginia City. Oh, what for? She didn't do anything. She will, she will. Just give her a chance. She's a gypsy, isn't she? Oh. You're not as bad as being an engine? Sometimes it's worse.

Holy moly. Just when you think, Bonanza is turn in the corner. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is where I really started to have feelings coming up because I was, my husband says, he'll say, can you move that rock from one part of the yard to the other part of the barred? And I say, well, it's a little heavy, honey. Maybe we could get a dolly.

And he says, you got the hips for it. Oh, I see. Oh, I see. He sounds like Dr. Morgan in that situation. Oh, you can take it. Oh, you can take it. Oh, wow. He feels you're built to endure. Is he doing that for a reason or just to have to get it?

We took, it takes away my humanity to say, oh, somehow I could make, sometimes he leaves me at church because he knows I'll make my way home. But that's a compliment. I don't understand how you don't feel compliment about that. It's six miles over, over hill country. But do you know the way? Well, yes, I'm so sad. See that? Well, and you made it home, didn't you? But I'd rather have a ride in the Saturn.

Well, sure you would, of course. But it's character building to have to walk home. I th th the the th. the the Saturn. Well, sure you would, of course, but it's character-building to have to walk home, I think. The Saturn's are nice, they got plastic bodies. Yeah, why doesn't he, why doesn't he walk out? Oh, well, I guess he... Wow, that's a good quick. Well, you know, maybe he's admitting to you that he's got a frailty. He can't do, but you can. So, see that. So, see that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's that's that's that's, that's, that so it's a compliment to say I can take it and I'm unkillable yeah of course it is you are unkillable it's a compliment almost like a a hearty insect very much

like a cockroach you can't yeah doesn't he say you can't that's what he says sometimes he says he says oh, you skittle around when I turn the light on. I know even if I smushed you on one side, you'd grow it back. And he says it's affectionate. See, that's beautiful. He's has a lot of respect for you, Amy. And here you are, acting all insulted. You ought to go home and do him a service for being thua to be to be to the service to to to the service to to to the service to to the service to to the service to to the service to the service the service thua to thususus s service to thusususususus a to to to home and do him a service for being so sweet. Yeah, kiss his leg.

You know you can cut off a cockroach's head and he'll live on for another month or two? Is that true? Maybe. Maybe. Well, now, it sounds like maybe Dr. Morgan's gone too far and he's seeing some inaccurate and rude things about these bro-mish peoples, but but sure enough Joe goes in there to try to put a blanket on her and she literally bites his hands true she well but I've been surprised you know by a nurse and you just say to yourself you know when you're not feeling well I mean that's the best way to handle a health care worker

sometimes because they're busy they're so overworked right now so you just nip you just give a little nip so they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the they they the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th th th th th. the. the. the. the. the. the. they the are the are the. they they they they the. they're they they're they they're they're they they they they're busy. They're so overworked right now. So you just nip at them. You just give a little nip so they know, you know, oh, I don't need help right now. Okay, I didn't think of it that way, but that does make a certain kind of sense. Sure, sure. You're a nurse. Yeah, you got all these patients on the floor. And you're try. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got. You got. Yeah. Yeah. You got the patients. Yeah. You got the patients. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You got the patients. Yeah. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the patients. the patients the patients. the patients. the patients. the patients. their bed, whatever. My OBGYN, he went, he went too far with a speckulum and I took a chunk. Really, you bet him? I bet him. Do they ever, I guess they probably

put some kind of restraint on you now. Well, no, no, no, no, well, that's, yeah, well that's what my husband said, but I said, oh, that's not what it's like. It's a wonderful, that's that's that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's that's that's that's not, that's not, that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, that's not, the, the, the, that's not, the the, the, the, that's not, the, the, the, that's not, that's not, that's the, that's the,'s like. It's a wonderful, because women are put first. But I did bite his leg and it developed Empatigo. Who did? OBGYN as he was leaving because I couldn't reach because I was caught up in the stirrup. Oh my. Okay, so this was after the incident, it was very vengeful. It was a vengeful bite. It had a forethought. Yeah, it had a forethought. Oh well well he's a doctor he'll be fine

so you can't kill a doctor they're built in door. Yeah. Well now Joe sees old tears of that's your name this woman and and we did see a wolf when she howled when the wolf howled or something like that. We got it in the back of our minds what's going on? And he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. he's. he's. he's. he's. he's. he's. Yeah. Yeah. he. he. the wolf howled or something like that. So we got it in the back of our minds. What's going on? And he goes and talks to her. Outside she's wandering around and she starts talking in poems or something. She says, night is the inside of a black bell.

It rings forth the spirits of the dead. And she says, I'm past being grown up. I'm old and withered. I am dead. And then she says, go away before I turn you into a toad. She was just late for an open mic. Oh, yeah, she's the riffmaster. They were doing the poetry open mic and she couldn't get there in time because she

couldn't get a ride from her family. Yeah, well right, her family is shunned her. But she tells Joe, by the way, the words go away about a hundred times. Yeah, go a way. Go away. She just says it again again, but he doesn't. Good for him. He loves her, it tends to marry. Evidently. Well, so now, Paul,, tries to charm her. He treats her like a, like a, like a wayward child. And he's a very, very patient. Very, very charming.

And everybody keeps asking her, where are your people? Where are your people? And she says, well, there is no one in front of me and no one in back. That's her answer to that question. And then she does that magician that magician that magician that magician that magician that magician that magician that magician that magician that magician that magic that magic that magic that magic that magic that magic that magic that magic that magic to that question. And then she does that magician's tablecloth trick, but without the trick part, so that dishes and whatnot goes scattering all over the place.

She gets mad and she runs away. And she runs through a storm of chickens screaming, and then she screams at some horses and runs away. And he says, I'm not going anywhere till I find out what's going on in that crazy head of yours he's invested in her because she's beautiful. Ben Cartwright admits and well she says she's a witch that's what and then Ben Cartwright says I've always found women a might harder to understand than men they're more sensitive Ben Cartwright admits that well it's because he doesn't see them as for human beings so so he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he's he he's he he's he's he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he's he's he's he he's he he's he's he's t. he's t. he's t. he's t. t. t. t. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's he's he's he's he's he's more sensitive than Cartwright admits that. Well, it's because he doesn't see them as full human beings, so he's confused.

Oh, is that why? I think it's because he ennobles them to be less than full human beings. It's a compliment. It's... This is a very complimentary toward women episode. Yes, it really is. Both in Bonanza and this podcast. Yeah. Women are, the main message is, well, this woman, she needs help. And, and, but, but maybe she was doing the right thing by becoming a wolf and hanging out in the woods. She seemed to be doing okay. She was just taking a nap. She too, yeah, she wasn't bothering anybody. That's for sure.. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. thi. the thi. thi. the thi. the thi. the the the the the the the the thi. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thea. thea. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thea. thea. thea. the. th woods. She seemed to be doing okay. She was just taking a nap. She too, yeah, she wasn't bothering anybody, that's for sure.

Well, are you defending this wolf woman? Well, now, I'm not clear. We're gonna have to figure it out by the end of this episode. Is she actually a wolf woman or what? Because it was, because she seems crazy. they see it right from from, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, the is, I guess they see a covered wagons coming through. They see it right from the ranch house, and here they are, this must be her people, let's go and talk to. And go over there and that's where we meet old Zirko, Zirka, and he's, boy, I'll tell you, here's what we learn about these folks, these Roma people. Number one, they is thieves, and that's just an objective fact.

We see them steal stuff in this episode, it's a fact. But then, wasn't the Ponderosin's stolen? But what? What do you mean? How so? Who stole what? From the native people's the Aboriginal people of the Northern Heavens sphere? Well, unless their deed is on file at the county essayer's office in Virginia City. I don't know that they will do anything. What about compassion?

Well, I mean, it's just a lot of paperwork much like when you're going to do your polyhammers relationship. There you go. I just, I just don't know. It doesn't, it doesn't seem right. you're going to do your polyamorous relationships. There you go. Notarized and such and acid. I just don't know. It doesn't it doesn't seem right. Oh well, like I'm saying they put up a fence around the property and that's theirs everything within that. Paved Paradise and made a parking lot. Yeah, here. So it's okay. This episode has made me really question everything. Oh God. Oh no. Well, that's a bad idea.

Yeah. Question anything. And another thing about these Roman peoples is that they are charming. They'll charm the socks right off of you. You can't get a straight answer out of it. Isn't that a good description of Pa? Well, oh! You saying he's part Romani? Oh, no! I'm I'm saying, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm, I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that's that's that's that I'm that I'm that I'm that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a bad, I, I that's a bad, I that's a bad, I that's a bad, I that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a bad that's a bad that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's a bad that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that a good description of Pa? Well, are you... Oh, you saying he's part Romani? Oh, no, I'm saying that, are we not our brother's keeper?

Are we not the exact same? We're all the village, there is no other. We are all a part of the world. The only way that they had to trick them was because he would not share. Oh well as long as the paperwork I think. Yeah just did you. Was the pig paws? I don't know. Yeah the pig belonged to the bend cart right. Not an expensive pig. Yeah. But the thing that he's charming about here is he's what's his hey how did you get through our fence line and the circuses well fences are always are the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their their their. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, their their the. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, thea. Well. Well, the. Well, the the the the their. Well is he's, what, he says, hey, how'd you get through our fence line?

And the Zirka says, well, fences are always coming down with a little twinkle in his eye. He's sort of to say, well, you know, I cut down your fence and did whatever I want. What you got? How you want to prove otherwise? Because there's a paperwork. It's your and then, as I say, the county, you say, or is authors down there. Well, anyway, yeah, there,

my old Ben is trying to say, hey, we've got your wolf girl and we'd like to give her back to you and end this entire affair early. And so we, this episode cutaways to a fellow by the name of Spiro who every time they cut to him he's making the just the same face every time he never see he's just he's just like they're using the same footage each time you might almost suspect well and so it turns out what see here thi thrown, you can stay here on the Ponderosa, on one condition, that you will take the girl with you when you go.

And Zirka says, I promise we will go. Take only daughters, leave only memories. Take only daughters. That's beautiful. Well, just you don't want to leave your trash at your campsite. Oh, is that what they say at a campsite? Is there a sign up that says take only daughters, leave only memories? Well, take photos, leave only memories.

Oh, oh, right, yeah. Oh, okay. But it's implied that if you came there with your daughter, you should take her too. But they might want to specify it on the sign. Back in this day, you could litter no problem. In fact, even back when this episode was out, you litter no problem. People didn't mind littering, you know, not at all. Because then it was nice stuff. It was like iron, iron axe handles.

You bet, and rubber axe handles to hit somebody over the head with in a stable. Well, Sparrow, what happens here? It's, oh, it's all Hallows Eve happens to be, and they intend to roast a pig, and so they need a Ben to bring a pig, and all kind of stuff. And Ben says, well, I'm not gonna bring a pig. And then this guy tries to sell him a bunch of crappy horses that he's biftippededededededededededededededededededededededededededededededed uppippedippedippedippedippedippedippedippedippedippedipped uppipped upfed upfed upfed upfed upfed upfed upfed upfed upped upped upped upped upped upped up to look better. Boy, these Romani's are a bunch of con peoples.

Gelded, just like the brothers of Pop, Gilded. Oh, Gilded is a unique, horse unix. Horse unix, which are just, I mean, they have not, they don't have the mojo. I've just realized this after watching this past episode that they don't have it in them to consummate any relationship. You really think the cartwright boys have been castrated. Have you looked in their pant area? Yes.

I can't say that I have. What do you see when you look into the pant area? I'm seeing what I may, maybe now, maybe just aspirational bulges on my and maybe it's not there Stuffings stuffing's like the horse. Oh, they stuffed their hooves to make them look more valuable, but it's just cotton. Oh God, oh man, look I believe soon enough there will be an episode of this show where we see one or all of their penises. Like, you know what I mean? Well, we know there will because in that fan fiction, Adam went-

Well, that's true. We did read some fan fiction in which Adam engaged in a gunfight with no pants on. He had a shirt and no pants and everybody in town saw his Johnson. Now I don't know if that's canon as they see. Oh, his is a canon. Oh, God damn. Hello. Wow, I only go with the scripture.

Yep, yep, yep. Yeah. Well, then we have a scene between Joe and Tearsie by a phony pond and uh, she's digging for wild artichokes and finds him no problem. And then Spiro peaks in on them and they have a little bit of a fight. He brings a knife to a gunfight, old Spiro does and and Joe beats him, right? But and he keeps calling Joe, oh, Gai-o. And the tears that calls Ben Barrason, I wonder if that's authentic. And then he threatens to kill Joe. He says, next time you see me, I'm gonna kill you. Okay. And then we see somebody stealing a pig

and we know who it is, as opposed to Romanes. And then we got, uh, there's a scene where the Adam is only, it pops along and I don't know what he's there for. Not much. Not much. Then we got, okay, they realize a pig has been stolen. Paw and Joe and Hoss all go to the pig roast there with the Romani's for their all Hallows Eve celebration. And the point is they're going to get this man to pay for the goddamn pig. And there's a whole, let's see if he can talk his way out of this one. But has it not already been paid for? How so? No, they stole the pig. T the pig. T the pig. T the pig. T. T. T. T. T. The the pig. T. T. T. The the pig. The. The. The. The. The. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. to the pig. the pigthey stole a pig from the Ponderosa. They, Ponderosa was stolen. Okay, look, because there's paperwork, because if you go to the register, our recorder, very clearly, you got to do, all the property line, all around, it's all. No, no, no. This is a sea agreement.

That the ponderos was given to, you know, it's legitimate. Not only that, but Ben speaks the pie a the pie a the pie a the pig a the big, but Ben speaks, but Ben speaks, but Ben speaks, but Ben speaks, the pig a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. the the the the they. They they. They the. They the. They the. They the. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They were, the. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They were. They. They. They were. They were. They were. They were, the. They were. They were. They were. They were, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the th. toge. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the embossed one. Absolutely. Not only that, but Ben speaks payout language. Yes. So, okay. Then we're doing. Zirka says, hey, I don't have enough money to buy that pig from you. I don't have enough dollars, but here is a silver bowl. And Ben says, well, this is worth way more than the pig. And I kept waiting for the moment when he realized it's like, it's plastic or something. That never never came. So I think maybe Zirka really did give them a very, very expensive silver bowl in exchange for a pig. Yeah, so it wasn't stolen. It wasn't stolen. Of course, it looked like it was made of aluminum to me, but it never was discovered to be. So that was interesting. And then Tears that shows up and does a dance. I looked to see if there's any evidence that Susan Harrison was any kind of a trained dancer.

No, she's not. Even though she's a ballerina in the Twilight Zone. Yeah, exactly. And the mother of Darva Conger, which would tell you she's a dancer. You would think. But they didn't, this is one of those times, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s.s. Susan. Susan. their. their. their. their. the Spanish dance, remember the Spanish woman, the dance, and the, where they just, they just didn't hire a choreographer. No, no, they just kind of. Swing.

Yeah, they didn't hire anyone that would get you authenticity in dancing, culture, history, or any such. Milk and blood of an unborn calf. Yeah, I'm still curious about that. That sounds actually fairly accurate, just because, uh, blood, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. They, th. They, th. They-huh. That sounds actually fairly accurate just because blood, I know blood can be a wonderful and it's a wonderful thing that people drink nowadays as soups. Oh, blood and soup. Yeah. Well, evidently, the blood of an unborn calf is a particularly clean or disinfected or something it's good

stuff for you but I don't know how they would have got their hands on it in those days how do you get the blood of an unborn calf sounds hard I'll kill a pregnant sow oh I see I don't know what exactly to Google in this sense but I'm not getting anything for what I did Google Okay, all right So now there's a whole conversation about hey, okay you guys seem to have shunned your wolf girl And she seems to feel that she no longer belongs to you people and so we're stuck with her on the god damn Ponderosa and we don't want her because she's crazy and she bit my son, and so what's going on and they say well her mother died in childbirth and that told us that she was a witch and ever since then she's just brought us nothing but trouble and sure enough her crazy dance causes a lightning special effect dark. Could it be that the way they treated her as an unwanted child has

caused her to develop some kind of psychosis or... No, because there's paperwork. Yeah, you just got to run through the paperwork. That's not a big deal. The county's officer's office, she is a witch. Because sometimes people can get a dissociative personality disorder because of trauma of being rejected or neglected by their family. You ever hear of Occam's Razor it's called? What's the likeliest explanation?

All this business you're talking about trauma or whatever or she's a goddamn witch? Right, right. I mean, that's, you know what I mean? You just have to ask yourself, what's more likely to be true? Yeah, my understanding of Aukem's razor is it works like like like like like like like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it'sto be true. Yeah, my understanding of Occam's razor is it works like this. It's not what's most obvious, it just, what's the less time I have to take to understand it? There you go, yeah, yeah, right. What feels right? Yeah, yeah, I got some.

She's a witch. She's a witch. Now, Ben explains to old Zirka here, he says, he quotes Shakespeare and he cues it up as there's a man, maybe you've never heard of him. And then he quotes Shakespeare. And I'm gonna do that from now on anytime I quote Shakespeare. Who? I don't do it very often, but if I ever do, like wasn't it Shakespeare that said you must buy your wife at least as much jewelry as you buy your horse? When I say that, there's a man, maybe you never heard of them. I never have. Well, anyways, it's a good way to just put some, just tell somebody right off the bat. I'm pretty sure you're a dumbage. And what, what did Shakespeare say again?

Oh, uh. The fault, dear Brutus is in the stars, no, not in the stars. Oh, it's in ourselves, not in our stars. You know, it almost sounds like... Maybe you guys have never heard of William Spiespiel. I don't know. I think Ben was trying to make the point you was just trying to make, where he's trying to say, hey, it's, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, th....... It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. think so. Yeah I don't know neither I'm not now I'm not sure. Well Joe and Tursa have a little scene there he catches up to her again once again again she runs away and he runs after her and he finds her and he says you run

faster than any book deer I ever saw that's just like them and then he says a she talks about I wrote down some quotes we eat up living souls like grain you are a tree I see you as a tree the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tree. I the the the tree. I tree. I t. I t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. t. t. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. the the t. t. I'm toy. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm te. I'm. I'm. te. te. I are a tree, I see you as a tree. She even getting in this like- Men are, men are trees, women are fish. Yeah, that's right, she's a fish. He's a tree. And then he says, now you listen to me, I don't want you talking like that anymore. And then then they, boy, this is this is this is this is this is this is this is th is thi. thi. th. th. th. I. thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I thi. I thi. I thin, thin' thin' thin' thin' thin'. I'm thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin'. I. I'. I. I'. I'. I. I. I'. thin'. I'. I'. I'. I'. thin'. thin'. thin'. I'm. I'm ta. thing. thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm thea'a'a'a'a'a'a'a' scene I've ever seen on this show. He told her to shut up. Yeah, shut up, mom, I'm gonna kiss you and he kisses her and she says, hold me, hold me.

It's beautiful. Now, if he was a eunuch, why would he be compelled to kiss and chase her? Oh, yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't mean that he can't express himself centrally, but he can't not penetrate her. Oh, he can't or he can't? He can't. He can't. He can't. I don't think any of those, the boys can.

Could she penetrate him? Well, certainly yes, yes, of course. Okay, well, then we're fine. Yeah, they'll work it out. Yeah, they'll work it out. Well, once they put their theirprints down, then you know what you're working with. Right, there you go. You can kiss her leg, we're fine.

Sure, fine. This is disturbing. Last week we had that in-sale fellow the four of them riding up on their horses, it's the same mountain range, but it's just four dicks in the foreground. Here, here. And with little cowboy hats. You know, on the dicks themselves. Yeah.

Backed on with a rubber band? The dicks? The dicks? Yeah, I'm saying the cowboy hat. How do you get a cowboy hat to stay on a dick? I'll tell you. All right. Yeah. Spiro watches them and he could have killed him but he doesn't and because he comes up with another plan he hears that wolf and he goes, oh I got a better plan than murder. Would the toss have a 10 ounce hat on his dick? Yeah, hoss would have a hostile hat on his deck, of course he would. Got a question of that.

Well, now, here's what happens. We see a blood and feathers and a blood hoof trail leading to the bed that beautiful tears is sleeping in and it's got a human handprints on the bed. So this was very elaborately thought out. It's wolf paws right up until the bed, and then the wolf paws turns th th that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th on the bed. So this was very elaborately thought out. It's wolf paws right up until the bed and then the wolf paws turning to hands, but they're still covered in blood. And then he, so he did all that,

Spiro did, we later learned, and he put blood on their hand. And he put blood, thears his hand. as a heavy sleepers what I'm saying. I feel like I might have woke up at some point in that process of somebody putting blood on my hands. It's kind of like how you just did Amy. What? When you went away? Yeah. So no sometimes it's it's called a yeah I think dissociation where you leave your body and you just have no you black out and you can't remember. Well I've had that happen a lot when I eat chicken. Oh, really? We got a bucket of Kentucky fried.

I didn't wake up until to the next week. No, I've heard of that. I've heard that. It's a chicken blackout. That's not uncommon. But all right. So now, God, damn, tears of she's transforming into a wolf. She's, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, thi, the, to, to, to, to, to, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. thi. tho, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, to thought at all this time. Now she knows it's true. And she runs to her father and she says,

oh, please, cure me of my wolfism and my witchism. And he says, it ain't gonna be easy. It's gonna, it's gonna be physical agony to a degree that it will drive you mentally mad. He says, but she was all, I already feeling. already feeling terrible. It's kind of like you go to the doctor and you just say, well I'm out of ideas. You know I had psoriasis and I still do because it's incurable. Suriasis? Yes and it gets worse with stress but I went to the doc and I said hey could you do something and he said well not really but there is a

way to ameliorate the effects. Oh, and what's that? Well, it's creams. Oh, okay. Yeah, you didn't bite him, did you? You had no reason to. I thought about it. I'm glad you didn't.

Because, you know, I think doctors, you know, they're their. Because you know, I think, they're, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, the doctors. the, don't, don't, don't, their, don't, don't. the, don't. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. the. they. they. the. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. the, th. to. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, She'll bite you. That's like a Uber driver's look at your star rating just as much as you look at theirs. Oh man, that's why I had to steal that horse. Anyways, okay here we go now we got to, okay Joe, Joe sees the feathers himself and so he goes after her and he arrives at the gyps, at the Romani People's Camp and there's Spiro and he's got a whip and he says, haar, you the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, they's they's th, th, th, th, thi, thi's thi's th, th, th, th is th is th is th is th, oh, th, th, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th's th's th's th's th's th's that, thi's thee's thee's thee's thee's thi's thee's that's thi's that's thi's thi's thi's th ha ha ha ha you can't save her now they're gonna tie her to the ground and rip her open and then it's whip versus gun and whip is winning out is this this is the best fight is it very good it was good yeah it was long then what else got in there it was it was like and the things just get pulled out of the environment into the fight and at some point Spiro pulled a spare wagon wheel off the side of a wagon and that got involved and I don't remember how it ended.

Oh, he's, oh yeah. He tackled him. Well, Spiro changed the position of which he was holding on to that knife, and it was a strategic error because he made it very easy for Joe to stab Spiro with his own knife. Joe is very little. Very little. By the way, at some point, his love says to him, why do they call you Little Joe? And he says, it's just a nickname, it doesn't mean anything. Oh, and we know it means something. All there is is a nub. Oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, Amy, th. Oh, th. Oh, Amy, Amy, Amy, th. Oh, Amy, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. the thi. thi. the. thi. thi. thi. the thi. Oh and we know it means something. All there is is a nub. Oh you're right. Oh Amy I hate to say the evidence I know

is soundly piling up in your corner. Oh God it can't be true it can't be true. Hmm. Well okay now what happens now we get to Joe Joe goes track his love and finds her she is being staked to the ground he's being held back by two of these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these these big these big these big these big these big these big these big these big thi. thi. the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big their their their. their. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the evidence. the evidence. the evidence. the evidence. the evidence. the evidence. the evidence. the evidence. the evidence. the evidence. the evidence. the evidence. the evidence. the evidence. the evidence. the the the the the the the the the the the the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big the big th. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. goes to track his love and finds her. She is being staked to the ground. He's being held back by two of these big fellas. She's staked to the ground, crazy old witch lady or with a- Or someone who's having a reaction from ongoing neglect and trauma as a child who's finally having the community come together and give her the attention that she deserves. Put her thumb print in a book and that's the witch.

Carbon copies that they roll off in a mimeograph. Precisely, you know. You can look it up at the library. Well, then this old lady begins a ceremony that involves a blue liquid in a flagging that you put on the fire and in there is Osmanandios and he's going to explode and when he explodes down the cavernous hallway with the nine white dogs at this point he's a man-eating emperor by the way. He's big real big. This does feel like the author of this episode was into things that he wanted to force into a Western. He didn't want to write about Cowboys. Yeah, he's like, I need people to understand the power of Osmodios. Nobody's letting me write my ancient Romani mythology. It takes too much of darkness to arrive at Osmodeos's

castle. But maybe this writer was a prophet healing a new message and a new gift to the world. Our false idol Amy. I just I just wonder I just you you have an open mind and it's a virtue but it's got to be stamped out. Well so sure enough the heat up horseshoe, they're going to brand her with a horseshoe. That'll do it. Yeah. Did you see that? Put a heat up a horse shoe and they're about to stick it into her, looks like there's aiming for her breasts. And then the flagging explodes on the fire and not a moment too soon. Her father's predictions as to how, the how, the how, the how, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, thi thi, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. T, th. T, th. T, th. They, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the flagging explodes on the fire and not a moment too soon. Her father's predictions as to how maddeningly agonizing this was going to be was completely wrong.

Because the flagging blew up and as mandios is gone. It was just as fast as anything. It was like getting your teeth looked at it. As soon as you worry about it, it's over. Yeah, that's right. So that's it. Now we go to Joe and Tearsah, Tears is in bed. She's sleeping off her wild night of being tied to the ground. And I mean, I couldn't believe it.

This was the biggest moment on the show ever. Joe comes out and talks to Paul. He says, Paul, you know, you told me when when when me me when me me me you you to to to to to told me when told me when told me when th tho tho told me when tho tho tho tho tho tho tho, when told me when the the the the the the the told me the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they....... told, told, told, told, told, too, tooe. tea, tea, tearsea, tea, tea, tea.ea, tea, tea, tea, too, too, he says, Paul, you know, you told me when I was ready I could have a parcel of land here of the Ponderosa. Now's the time. And Paul's very happy to hear it because this means he's going to marry Tearsah. He's madly in love. So he has never asked Tearsah what she wants. No, no, not one time. Which is that, that's the later part of the process. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, the that's, the the the the the the that's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, tode, today, today, today, thauo, today, tooes, thea, today, thea, thea, thea, they.a, their, their, their, the later part of the process. But also, it doesn't put into a fact that she has several rights and a power over her own body and mind. Right, it makes it clear that she doesn't. So he asks his own father for this girl's hand in marriage in a slight departure, but Ben Cartwright says, I'm proud of you, let's do it.

And so, but just at that moment, like right on time, in walks, Zirka, and Zirka, and Zirka says now that she's no longer a wolf girl, she's coming with us. We're happy to have her back since the flag and exploded in the fire. And Joe says, no, I'm going to marry her, to, they her, she. Marrier she's staying here. And Zirka says, well, according to our tradition, you can marry her, but that means you are coming with us. And you're going to live as a Romani man. Would you be a real twist?

And Joe says, what? So he's got a choice to make. Yes. Big choice. He could have gone with his love. With his beloved this woman. He loved., th, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I th. I thoom. I thoom. I, thi. I thoom. I thoom. thoom. thoom. thiolioliolioli. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, thi. You, thi. You, thi. You, thi. You, thi. You, thi. He, thi. He's, thi. I, thiiolioli. I, thooooooooooooooooooooooooo rest of his life. With his beloved this woman he loved so much. I mean he was crazy about it. We really saw that relationship developed through thought, emotion, words, so much that they shared.

And he could have easily had a spin-off show. It would have been wonderful Little Joe and the Romani's. It probably wouldn't have been called that exactly. But yeah, it would have been, that would have been a hell of a show. But instead, well, she tells him you're a tree, you know, you need to stay here and be a tree. And he accepts that and watches or go. And now I'm not a fish, but an evil fish. I didn't ever think about fish being evil and angry.

Oh yeah, fish. Oh, evil fish, yeah, don't go near her fish. Well, so there you go. So that she, to recap this episode, she was a witch. She killed her mother in childbirth, after which point she was a witch that sometimes turned into a wolf, and Joe fell in love with that for some goddamn reason. And then- Because she bewitched him. She bewitched him, I guess that's why.

It was either falling love with her or turned into a toad. And then she got the witch tooking out of her by a flagging on the fire. And then she was able to go on with her people and he was he had the choice to stay or be with her and he said no. Could it not be that Joe wasn't bewitched? But he had obsessed about her as if she were an object because of his, his detachment that he had obsessed about her as if she were an object because of his his detachment that he had he doesn't have attachment with his mother because she died and with women generally he doesn't see them as legitimate partners but as fantasies so that when he doesn't wantto he has a sexual anorexia where he in facts is you know he draws longs for this connection but draws back as soon as

there's any possibility of it being a real. Oh well Amy I don't know what to make of you today I can't tell if you've regressed or progressed here and I I am worried I know that yeah yeah as far as your things that their thir thir their their their their th. th. their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. theeeeeeeee. theeee. theeeee. the. thi. thi. thi. make of you today. I can't tell if you've regressed or progressed here, and I am worried, I know that. Yeah, as far as you're thinking that he only sees her as an object or whatever, I remind you that she said go away like 10 times, and he didn't, right? He must love her. Yeah. He must. And so I think he he truly tru really tru really truly truly truly truly truly truly truly he he truly he he he truly he he truly truly he truly truly was truly was he he he he he he to he told he to to to to he truly was prepared to build a life with this beautiful, strange,

poetic-speaking woman. No means I love you from the other person. Yes. Oh, I, you guys, I guess I just, I don't know what's happening if I need an exorcism, but I just feel like I'm I'm changing in and I may become a wolf. Oh no, I didn't see that coming. I beg you don't become a wolf. Please to God don't do it. I'd be terrified. I enjoyed part of the idea of animism and that one, you know, we are the animals. Like, that just seems really exciting because otherwise it's just, I mean, Christianity has been just so, it's just a drag, you guys. What is the world is happening?

It's a drag! It's every Sunday and there's a lot of, there's a lot of chores. I gotta bring it, potluck dishes and it's gonna be a new one every time.. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. that, thi. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's just that's just that's that's just that's that's just that's that's that's that's thi, lot of chores. I gotta bring it potluck dishes and it's gonna be a new one every time. People say, oh didn't you do the hot dogs and spinach last time? Amy, Amy Sleverson, I beg of you. Feel what you feel, but give it a little time. Take till the next episode before you proclaim anything because this is all on record. Oh yes, people are going to hear this.

Oh, I know. People in your church community might hear it. But I think this is when you need the support of your community is when you are at your lowest. Well, we can buy that. I have inventory of product lines that is 15 to 35 years old that fill up my garage. I thought I was led by God, but am I just a hoarder? No, no, no, folks, get out, get on to Lodge Daughters. It's urgent.

Yeah. I beg you, please buy some of this merchandise. You are saving to Amy Sleverson's soul if you do. That's what's on the line. And if you like us are part of her community, do not help her by acknowledging this truth of hers because you will only be hurting her. You'll only be hurting her. Poor Amy Sleverson. And you know what, would it kill you to bring something other than the hot dog and spinach? For cratch sakes? I mean? You can do a little effort here too.

I only still have so much emotional energy. Oh, come on, even, like I brought an ambrosia, I brought a casserole, I brought a, potatoes agro. How hard is it to make the Zidi? Put a little, just melt some goddamn cheese over a pasta. That's all it is. I guess I could do the ground beef and cheese and cheese and cheese and pasta that's all it is. I guess they can do the ground beef

and cheese and there we go and teeter tie tied again. There we go. You can open up a jar of store-bought sauce nobody'll know the difference. You can boil up V8 and just call it tomato soup absolutely. Oh boy. And you know it's not like it's easy to be a Romani person either. They gotta find a pig to steal every Halloween pain in this. Everybody's got it hard. Well everybody, and it's uncertain of whether it's really stealing. You know, that's the thing in this episode is you can't tell who is the righteous. And who is in fact the wrong. Oh boy, I'd try to come over there and hug you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th the the the the the the the thi the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to is the, who is in fact the wronged?

Oh boy, I'd try to come over there and hug you, I'm afraid you'd bite me. Yep. Well, I don't know. That's true. I wouldn't, I don't trust myself. Oh. Let's check in with you next week and see if you still feel this way. Excuse me, I almost fell. Yeah, yeah, we'll see if you, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll you, we'll the, we'll the, we'll see if you, we'll see if you, we'll see if you, we'll see if you, we'll see if you, we'll see if, we'll see if, we'll see if, we'll see if, we'll see if, we'll that, we'll that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, I, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the the, the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, almost fell. Yeah, yeah, we'll see if you, we'll see if that pilot and what the other guy did can talk you down. Oh yeah, he's an urban farmer. It could be paramedipas. Okay, well that would be good.

Off air I'm gonna find out what sexual anorex is. But folks, I won't ask you. Just sit through that. All right, well, ladies and gentlemen, that's another episode of Bananasa's Fur Bananza. You should read about sexual bulimia. That's even more interesting. I'm sure it is. Binging and purging.

Purging sex. This may be the biggest clue hanger we've ever done, because I am a gouge to today. to be the biggest clue. what will become of Amy Sleverson next week and which version of her we will experience. Me too. But I will have a flag in the blue liquid ready. Either way. Please do. Uh, hey, after this we only have 400 episodes of Bonanza left to go. My God.

So you've just got to have faith, I guess so. You've only got 400 episodes to figure this out, Amy. Well, that's what's community is their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I will thi. I will thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I will to. I'll to. I'll to. I'll to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. th. th. th. th. the. to figure this out, Amy. Oh, and that's what the community's all about is, is being there for each other and be a witness to others experience, you know, even if it's uncomfortable. I guess so, but I'm gonna leave. Me too, I gotta go. I got an appointment with the Anywhere but here club. Yeah, oh yeah. Oh yeah, me too. I'm the treasurer. All right folks, we'll see

you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bananas for Banzas. Brought to you by Andy Daly. With. Banff. Banff. B. Mamm. theme.. Theme song by Matt Goyley, with the German, which in this case are Mark McCondrill, Daniel Michikoff, and Wade Ryan.

Bananas for Bonanza is mixed and edited by Brett Morris, and executive produced by Andy Daly, Matt Gorley, Brett Morris and Little Scott Acker. We'll see you next time.