Bonanas for Bonanza - Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #36: “The Mill”

Episode Date: July 3, 2024

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDaly Dalton and Mutt are joined by Toneed Anza (John Gemberling), a man with a truly astonishing connection to Bonanza. Together they discuss season 2, episode 4, “The Mill”, in which all four Cartwrights fall in love with a married woman who is trapped in a single white female scenario with Sheriff Lobo and an elderly Incredible Hulk.Featuring Andy Daly as Dalton Wilcox and Matt Gourley as Mutt TaylorMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.comRecord date: 9/23/2022 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Academy Award winner Helly Berry. One touch without a robot is all a text. Say it. Never let go. We're the world now. Never let go. In theater September 20th. You're about to listen to Bananas for Bananza, episode 36.

This is Andy Daly. Here on this free feed, I'll be re-releasing all of the back episodes of Bananasa for Bananza one every other week. If you want to hear new episodes, add free. Please subscribe to my Patreon at Patreon.com. Slaish. The entire Bananas for Bananza Archive is also waiting for you there, and you can access lots and lots of bonus content. So do that. Okay, thank you. Enjoy. Get your great outdoors inside takes a ponderosa pride and forever made Ride I'm bananas for bananas Yeah, yeah, ha ha!

God damns for bananas. Bonanza. Yeah, ha ha! God damn. Folks, it is bananas for Bonanza, God damn it. We're coming to you as always from the Pier 1 Ponderosa Bonanza Steakhouse and Spirit Halloween store. Is that all? It sure is. People start to come in here and get their bullshit costumes.

We are sharing the space and so far getting along just fine. I'm Megan thee stallion the horse is here my got my horse here and my pig whose name I have forgot the name of him I believe the pig had a name but it's okay. I caught a pig with no name. Oh I came through the desert on a pig with no name. But I think it's fine that I forgot his name because I had a to to to maybe to to to the the to the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the pig. the pig. the pig. the pig. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the the the the the the the t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. pig with no name. Oh yeah. But I think it's fine that I forgot his name because I had an idea to maybe to roast him on a spit out in front of the restaurant to draw in some customers. What a great idea. I think it's great. People are gonna love it.

That's not the type of thing you need a permit for. Oh, I don't even know what that word means. Well, okay, but this is Bananasa for Bananza. Here's what I say. Hello, friend, come on in. The gate is open wide. Welcome to Bananas for Managers. Today we're discussing season two episode for the mill. This episode is called the mill even though the mill is incidental but we got we got we got, we got here we got me I'm Dalton Wilcox poet Laureate of the West we've got mutt Taylor you heard from him already. How do? How do? Country Music Legend and this uh where we're on this podcast we talk about Bonanza okay that's the way what is going on and we got a guess goddam it. This is very exciting guest I the Booker didn't tell me much except for this here. Your name is your. the the the name is. You the name is. You the name is. You the name is. You the name is. You the name is. You the the the the the the the the the the the name is. You're the the name is. You're the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the to.coecoecoecoecoecoecoecoecoecoecoe. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the going on. And we got a guess, Goddammit. This is very exciting guest. I,

the Booker didn't tell me much, except for this here. Your name is, your first name is Tonide. Tonyed. How are you spelling that? T-O-N-E-D. Okay, it's correct. I just never have seen that name before. Your last name is Anza. Is that an Italian name? It is. Okay. Tonyed, Anzaza. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, this. th, this. th, this. th, this. this. this. this. th, this is, this. this is, this is, this is that an Italian name? It is. Okay, Tony Anza, and you are, what is this? You're the great, great, just explain yourself because it's got some. I am the great, great grandson of Bon Anza. The Italian family man of the Old West from whom all of these stories were stolen. Wait a minute. What? And no credit was received by him or any of my family.

What do you come with proof? That's a bold claim. Yes, I have my certificate of live birth here. Let me scrutinize this and make sure it's got a raised seal on it. Yeah, driver's license. His name is sure enough at the time of his birth Let me scrutinize this and make sure it's got a raised seal on it. His name is sure enough at the time of his birth, Tony, and his passport, to my routing numbers for my bank account. Hang on a second.

Keep going. These are, so far, the birth certificate was slightly illuminating. None of these other things have illuminated in the situation at all. Put them back in my zip lock. Yeah, put them back in there. I brought- You just carry those around in a quart side zip lock bag? Yes, because the veracity of my stories is ever called into question, and so I've given

to bringing my identifying papers with me wherever I go. I noticed it's yeah it's also got some looks like capsule medication and maybe some loose metamusal in there or something. Yes, yes I take metamusal by sniffing it. I have a snifter of metamusel here for whenever I feel the urge. Oh I brought bananas for you. Oh look at those those are black as night. But thank you very much for the you know what I look at those. Those are black as night. But thank you very much for the, you know what, I'll make those into banana bread. How about that? I'm sorry. It's fine. Is this not a charity where you collect bananas? Nah, I thought there might be some confusion. That's just the work. Bananas is figured it means we're crazy love it. We don't actually do anything with bananas. This isn't a charity to raise awareness for my great, great grandfather's plight.

Oh man, you were misled or confused or something because this is a for-profit operation, although we are losing money and over it. You've brought me here under false pretenses. I suppose so. Our booker, I guess, told you whatever it took to get you here because you figured you had an interesting story. You are just two more men hoping to profit off of my great, great, great grandfather's exploits. Well, not necessarily. I'm at least open to hearing this. Tell me how you have some kind of proof that your grand, great, great-great-grandfather? Bonanza. Hey, wait a minute, I get it. His name is practically the word bonanza. Yes. Yes. Your name is practically Tony Danza. So did Tony Danza steal from you? No.

It's just a coincidence. Okay. No. My family always loved wordplay. Yes. Did Tony Danza steal from you? No. It's just a coincidence. Okay. No. My family always loved word play. My whole life is a joke. Stinking wordplay. One pun after the other. I'm sorry. Had to live with this idiotic name my whole life under the shadow of my great, great grandfather. The unloved, unheralded, the the the the the. the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their under the shadow of my great-great-grandfather the unloved unheralded Bonanza. You could change your name you know you just go

down there you just go down change it I do it from time to time every once in a while. Yeah County recorder Norwalk California. What paperwork do I need by that birth everything in your ziplock pouch with the exception of the pills and the Metamusal oh it all just perfect is all you need just walk in there say up to now I have been Tonyed Anza and from here too forward I'd like to be and then whatever that is how about you think Tony Danza to tony Danza? Changed it both the first and the last name cut right to the chase just go ahead to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to the the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toy toy toy toy toy tons I I toy tonse toy tonse tonse tonse tonse tonse tonse tonse tonse tonse tonse tonse tonse t last name. Sure, cut right to the chase. Just go ahead and be Tony Danza. Hmm. I'll consider it.

Maybe Mary Lou Henner? Uh, uh. Uh, too many. Too many names. Okay. Judith Light. John Larro kept. Danny Pantaro.

Grandma, I don't know. Well now, but your claim here is shocking. Your great-grandfather was named essentially Bonanza. And he came up with all 431 stories that the television show, Banana. Was his life? He was a wholesome family-oriented man of the old West. Was he like a Ben Cartwright figure? He was Ben Cartwright.

The whole thing was stolen from him. Every story, every tale, every interaction. This is unbelievable. Wow, so which of the three sons are you descendant from? Oh, interesting question. Uh-oh, you're looking at them. There was a daughter. Really?

Oh, she was the shame of the family and thus not written about. Wow. Bon Anza had three sons from three different wives. Is that part true? Plus a daughter that they left out of the show? And was she from one of those three wives or a fourth wife? Holy crap. Hot shit, this is explosive.

Wow, this is exclusive. Everything I'm here. Do you have documentation about this? Yes. Okay. Her name was Roseanne Rosannad. Rosannad. Rosanne Rosannad, Anza.

Rosa Danza. Rosan Danza. Roseanne, Rosanna, Danza. So look, this is what the fourth wife or the daughter from which you are? Oh, they did the junior senior thing. Oh, yeah. So Roseanne, Rosanne, Ed, Anza, senior. Begat, Roseanne, Rosanne, Ed, Anza, Jr. Yeah. Was there a third? No. Okay I'm just checking.

I wonder what Roseanne Rosannad Anza's maiden name was. You know what I mean? Oh right! Rosanne Rosanna was Anna. It was Anna. Rosanna. Rosanna. Rosanna. Tana. Tana. Tana. tana. tana. tana. It was Anna. Roseanne Rosanna Danna. Tana. If she had a hyphenated, it would have been Roseanne, Rosanna Danza. Which I don't mind. No. Well, okay. I can't believe any of this.

And I wish to God you'd brought more than that ziplock pouch full of identification to prove that you are who you, you know, say you are. But I'd like to have, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like to to to to to to that, I'd like that, I'd like that, I'd like to to that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. the, the, that, the, that, thi'd thi'd thi'd that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,ploc pouch full of identification to prove that you are who you, you know, say you are. But I'd like to have some proof that your goddamn great-grandfather ever really lived and all this stuff, because this is explosive. Of course he lived. He bought that property from a very kind woman named Rosa and the property had a small body of water on it. It did. They named it the pond of Rosa.

Oh my God. Okay, this is just too much coincidence. You say your whole life is just one wordplay joke after another? Yes. Oh man. What, do you have any children? I do. What are their names? I'm just curious if you could...

dead now. Oh, okay. any children? I do. What are their names? I'm just curious if you can... They're dead now. Oh okay. I'm sorry. One was named Kung Fup. Okay so that's not exactly wordplay. No I don't know. Kung Fu Pants. I thought you hated wordplay. Why would you do that to your own son? Why do we commit the sins of our fathers? Why are we ever locked in these dark cycles of torment? Good question. What's the other kid's name?

I'm dying to know one. And if you need a second, yeah. Let's probably, yeah, take you a little while to remember what and if you need a second oh yeah yeah probably yeah take you a little while to remember the name of a dead child is it by any chance time hold me close tineed yes okay hold me close tineed my boy you named a boy hold me close tineed yes andza but his middle names Adam right but you just abbreviate that to the today. to the today the the that to the the the the the the the the the that to the the to the the the the to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to that to the the the to to to to to to to to to to the name. the name. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tod today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. Hold me close Tyneed. Anza. But his middle names Adam right but you just abbreviate that hold me close a tineed and he's got two middle names. Hold me

close. Hold me close. Adam. A. A. A. No. It's it's he has two middle. His names. Hold me and he's got two middle names, Adam and Tyneed, but he does, he just goes by A for Adam and he goes, hold me close, a time. I mean, yes, yes, yes, you've got it. I don't know why I need to explain this to you, I mean, Christ. Right, that's just as child abuse. God damn it, you have children names. I hate to say that that to you, to you, to you, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tod, tod, tod, today, thi, today, today, today, today, t. t. t, hold, tod, tod, tod, tod, t, t, t, hold, t, hold, t, t, t, t, t, t. t. t. tod, tod, tod, tod, tod, tod, tod, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, today, I hate to say that to you about children that you've told us have passed. Yeah, and you seem pretty old, so do you have any grandchildren, please say yes. Yes, I have seven grandch-children.

Oh, no, no. Hey, I should mention at this point, this is going to be as shorter than usual bananas for bananas for bananas because we've got to get going up on the lunch rush, this will be under an hour. We've got to have you back, though, and then you can tell us your seven grandchildren's names, because you might need some time to remember them. Bring me back under true pretenses and I'll consider it. Well what we do on this show is each episode we'll take an episode of Bonanza and we talk about it, okay? So we don't really typically explore disputed claims origination of the bananas of stories.

So is that what the pretenses was that you thought you was here under, that we was gonna talk all about your great-great-grandfather bond? I thought it was a charitable organization to raise awareness. Oh. Through bananas, I was confused about how it the bananas would translate into awareness. It ain't charity and it doesn't have really nothing to do with bananas but you've gone ahead and raised awareness of this

of this garbage about your goddamn great-grandfather. I watched the episode. Oh you did. You didn't? You never seen it before. You've compelled me. No I wouldn't watch that filth. Oh brother, this is the greatest television show that ever was on television or the movie. Such a cock sucking mouth. What? Jesus. Holy crap. There's some wordplay. I can't believe. I can't believe that my mouth has just been referred to as a cock sucking mouth, the first time in my life. And if I'm not mistaken, you've actually sucked cocks and it still never... I struggle to believe.

Roosters, I've sucked roosters, everybody knows that. Yeah, rooster toes. Delicious. Of course I am. This is a shocking episode of our podcast today. I can't believe what's happening. But we are going to talk about season season season season season seasonthe mill. I'm glad you watched it because this episode has everything. It's got a brawl. It has a lot of information about mill construction. It's got a laughing bad guy. I love it when the bad guys laugh. And it has another instance of Ben Cartwright and one of his sons pursuing

the same woman. That has happened before. And have these characters of the neighbors ever been in the show before? Oh no, that's... Although has Claude Akins been in an episode before? He has but as a different character. That's right. Okay. That was my great, great grandfather for you.

What was it? He always had deep, deep histories with people that only ever got introduced to his family once and then went away. Well that is a thing that happens a lot on this show. Now you're starting to bring me around to maybe it's true because it happened, I believe, in our very last episode that there was a character they said, you know, you're so close to me, you're like a sister to me, but we'd never never to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. thi thi thi their th. th. their thi th. their th. thi, their th. their th. th. their their, their, th. thi. thi, thi. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.. th. th.. th.. th. the, th.. the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. tea. tea. tea. tea. toge. toge. toge. the. the. the. the.'re so close to me you're like a sister to me but we've never seen before it and they're never going to see her again correct yeah and so it's happening again this time it's so that's interesting if that was a factor of your father of your great-gray grandfather's life shit it's starting to sound like maybe this is true damn it's to the told thi to to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the thi thi thi thi thi the I I I the I'm the so. I'm the I'm the thi thee e' the' thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's thi. I I's thi. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I thi thi thi thi the the the the the thi the the the the to the to to to to to to thi to theeeeeeeeeeeean theeeeeeeeeean's theeeeeeean theeeee they their the the right. I do like to start with some fun facts about the original air date that this aired. Now get ready because I know you've come here under duress and

you're not feeling great, but this is just fun. I'm always eager for fun facts. Yeah, some of them are fun. Many times they're tragic. But this was October the 1st of 1960. October The first the first aired. the first. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the air air air air date the the the the the the the air date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date date the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the air date. date. the the the the the the the the the the the the tragic but this was a October the first of 1960 October the first of 1960 is when this episode first aired okay you know anything about 62 years ago how many it was 62 well yeah I reckon so yeah I reckon so yeah that's right now sorry that wasn't he know that would be such a detail. I just didn't believe anything you said prior to that. I had to run it through some fact-checking. Mm-hmm.

I'm going to blow your mind. The number one movie in the country on October 1st, 1960 was Ben Her. God damnit, son of a bitch. He's got back in the slot. Yeah, Ben her has has has has has has been her the number one movie off and on throughout the entire year 1960. Everybody's got to give their pronouns now. Ben her, how long? Yeah. Ben her them bullshit. What you ever see Ben her? Yes. You ever see Ben her? Yes. You have? It's a long one. People couldn't get enough of it and they really died during that chariot race. Did someone really die? That's right? That's right? That's right? Oh, that's? Yeah, the? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? their? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their? B? B? B? B? B? B? B. Yeah? B. Yeah? B. Yeah? B. Yeah? Yeah? B. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? B. Yeah? Yeah? B. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? B. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? B. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. People couldn't get enough of it and they really died during that chariot race. Did someone really die? That's right. Oh, yeah. Well, maybe that's why everybody went to see it. Because I watched it and I said, how come everybody

had to go see this fucking movie in 1960? And maybe it was, they thought, good to see a real man die for real. Nowadays there's a chariot race th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the. the. the. te. toda. toda. the. Did, the. Did, the. the. Did, the. Did, the. Did, the. Did, thought we get to see her be a real man die for real. Nowadays there's a chariot race in everything back then. It was a rare occurrence. Oh, really? A chariot race? What's the last thing you saw? Chariot race in? Fast and furious. Oh.

Nine. You're thinking of chariot race broadly defined as also including cars. Sure. OK. That's fine. Sure, sure. Okay. That's fine, that makes sense. You come with a, like a code detector, like some kind of, you know what I mean, a decoder ring. Sometimes it's hard to tell what you're talking about.

Do I come with a decoder ring? No, I come with a cock ring. Everybody else. Okay. Let me just put that through the Dakota Red. You say like everybody else? Like everybody else. Sorry, go ahead. I apologize. You know, my, I did put a ring on the finger of my rooster before I sucked it. All right, the number one song in the country song in the country was God damn Alabama by cowboy copas. That's hanging on heart, but we got a brand new number one song on the regular old billboard church which is

my heart has a mind of its own by Connie Francis yet Connie Francis yeah Connie Francis yeah it's here's what I'm gonna tell you this I looked her up on Wikipedia naturally what it says on there is that she is widely recognized as the first la-a-drakeell you this, I looked her up on Wikipedia, naturally. What it says on there is that she is widely recognized as the first lady of rock and roll. Widely recognized. Now sometimes on Wikipedia, if you really care about something, you can click on a number and you can say, what's the citation on that? I'd like to know, what do you mean that she is widely referred to as the first lady of rock and roll. From what I can tell what this refers to as an article in something called the Digital

Journal that had a headline, interview with Connie Francis, the first lady of rock and roll. So widely recognized means the digital journal said so ain't a headline. Yeah, that was like a narrow recognition. I agree. Once recognized, I think would be the appropriate term. Yeah. A headline. Scantly recognized. Singularly recognized. Yeah. So but she's not in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, but she was the first woman in history to reach number one on the Billboard top 100. So that's. Is that this one? Nope nope not this song is a different wow well here's a couple of interesting things about her she you know the song tie yellow ribbon around the old oak tree sure this about a

guy who's coming home from prison and he wants to know whether he's welcome back at home and it the signal is a yellow ribbon around the old old old tree the same year she recorded a response song that the the the the the the the the the the the the the th I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th I th I th I th I th I th I th. th. the same same same same same same same same same same same same same same the same the same same the same same same same same same same the same. the same. the same. the same. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the. the. tree. tree. tree. tie. the same. the the same. the the same. the same. the same. the the same. the the the to that titled The Answer, Should I, tie a yellow ribbon round the old dog tree? And it's from the perspective of the woman. Wow, this is the second time this has come up to these calling answer songs. Yes, exactly. I gotta get into that. Yeah, we gotta record some responses to some popular songs. I'm gonna write a pop song called I Did Beat It It's Done. What more do you want? I'm home. I'm having a made myself a root beer float and I'm watching TV. I beat it. I got out of there. Now what? If you're in communication with the person, why not just say

you're welcome to come home? Why create a plan to signal that you're ready for him to come home. Well, I don't know that the Connie Francis's song is addressed to the man. It's not. She's singing to the, she's, it's a soliloquy. Is it Tony Orlando originally? Tony Orlando recorded the first one. Yeah. So, but she's singing to the heavens. But part of it is, one of the lyrics is, Frank, you've been a good husband, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the lyrics is Frank you've been a good husband but I'm tying a

yellow ribbon around the old oak tree so in other words she's moved on this poor guy Frank now has anybody written a song from Frank's perspective I think it's time we did what Tony Orlando didn't in the first place so Tony Orlando is a guy getting out of jail right okay and he wants to know should I come home or not. Kind of Francis is a woman whose man has been in jail all this time. But not Tony Orlando? Oh yeah, I'm saying it is Tony Orlando. Okay, all right. But she is currently habitating with a fellow named Frank.

Oh shit. She has moved on. to the fuck out of here. My man is back from jail. So this is just another case of Frank. The yellow ribbon is a signal to Frank. No. Well I suppose it's primarily a signal to Frank. to the fiola to to'lando. You can come back from jail and be my boyfriend again. But I suppose it's secondarily a signal to Frank to get the fuck out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out. the the the the the the the the thaken. thuk. thuk. to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. thr. thr. thr. throwne. throwne. thro throooooooooooooooooooo' the th the thr-n. the the the the the the thto get the fuck out. Because Frank is the man she's currently living with. So if you do not have a yellow ribbon on an oak tree,

it's the same as having a sock on the doorknow. If you do not, right. And the house is a rocking, don't bother knocking. Well, I see lots of trees that don't have any ribbons on them. Yeah, that means the people is in that fucking. Wow. This neighborhood alone. No kidding. Shit. How many people are on the planet of Earth? Almost 10 billion now. How many do you think are fucking right now? Everyone but the three of us. Yep, I reckon you're right. That's something I think about from ten ten. Yeah. Okay during the cold. The gulf. You're like three about from time to. Remember during the... The...

You know, like three billion of them are children. Okay, good. That's good information. That's true. And old, thank you. Old people who's impotent. Uh-huh. Impotent old people. All right.

Unix and such. Remember during the desert storm wars and people would put yellow ribbons on their trees? Yes. So that's confusing. Well I'll tell you what, military thing. This song was a hit in 1973 and then about six years later them Iranians took them hostages and it became the song came back on to the charts and people says, hey you got you guys who's locked away in the Iranian jail you can come on home with a tie yellow a yellow ribbon round the three for you. Yeah. Holy shit. There was a big hit at that time. Then they'd just immediately get sexed onto them? I am confused by all of this.

I think there was an unprecedented amount of fucking when those hostages came back. It was just a nationwide fuck party. Well, uh... Connie Francis also sang a song for Richard Nixon. She, she, it was a song. The lyrics went, Nixon, remember Dick Nixon. He's the one who is fixing to lead us to win in 68. Oh, well, he's fixing some things all right. Now I do do political humor.

It's beautiful, you know, just if you have parties. She also, Bobby Darren wanted to elope with her, but Connie Francis's father didn't like that so he literally chased Bobby Darren away at gunpoint. And Connie Francis spent the rest of her life going, damn and I should have married Bobby Darren. Wow, who did she married? She married three other dudes, not at the same time. Went through a lot of ribbons. Yeah, Went through a lot of ribbons. Yeah, yeah, went through a lot of ribbons.

I bet she single-heldedly kept Michaels in business. So many damn ribbons. Always down at the Hobby Lobby. Playing more reams of ribbons. She also recorded a German language version of my heart has a mind of its own. Brett was switched to that one. But it remained unreleased until 1988. It was in a vault somewhere.

Like with a lot of other looted Nazi treasure? Yeah, that's right. Okay. That's right. What else happened on? You know, I like to try and find a celebrity birthday. Somebody, we all know that was born on October 1st, 1960. Well, that was my mission.

Close as I could come, sometimes, man, it's hard. All the people is famous, you'd think it'd be easy. The closest to be Elizabeth Denahee, who was on guiding light. Happens to be Brian Denahee's daughter. You know Brian Deni. Oh, sure he's recently passed. Rest in peace. Yeah, that's right. One thing I learned about Brian Denny he in the course of understanding Elizabeth Denahee was that he was in the Marine Corps from 1958 to 1963 and throughout his life he claimed to have served in Vietnam as in combat and to have been wounded and at some point he

had to come clean and said I didn't do that. Wow, now that's... I and Denny the he was a stolen valor. That's what he calls himself in this quote. He says, yeah, he says, I did steal valor. That was very wrong of me. There's no real excuse for that. Wow, I didn't know that. on Rainbow First Blood Part 1. Yes it does, right? Can you imagine? That's why he had to do Tommy Boy. Tommy Boy was his pennants for Stolen Bellers? Who are the famous

stolen valors? I guess you got Brian Williams in a sense. In a sense? Brian Dan He. There is another famous one I can't think of it. Well they tried to defame John Kerry, but he, he really was honorable. He had the valor. I wish I could think I could th th th th th th th th th th th th he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. He had he. Uh he. Uh he. Uh he. Uh he. Uh he. Uh he. Uh he. Uh he. Uh he. Uh he. Uh he. Uh he. Uh he. Uh their is their is their is their is th. Uh th. Uh their is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He th. th. thi th. th. th. th. th. to to. to tom. to to to tho. tho. tho. tho. thi th. th of. Well they tried to defame John Kerry but he he really was honorable. He had the valor. I wish I could think of it. Yeah somebody really did steal that milk. But uh there's that fellow that lied about being in the buildings in 9-11. Oh yeah well everybody did. Yes the guy from the biggies Brian Denny, Brian Williams and the guy from the league. Oh, you know who I'm thinking of? Who? I'm thinking of the guy whose wife sadly fell down the stairs twice, the staircase.

That fella, he had two different wives, die falling down the stairs. The poor man. And it turns out that he falsely claimed to have been a combat veteran of Vietnam. Oh shit. Which is the reason that they wouldn't put him on the stand. He says, let me go on the stand and I'll tell everybody that just happens to be, I put grease on the top step just by accident two times. Or whatever. And they said no, because the first thing you're going to say is, hey let's talk about your service in Vietnam, and then there goes his credibility. Oh, wow. Poor, poor man. Poor man.

I know, can you imagine that? I tell you what, I hope to God he lives in a ranch house now. Well, okay, so that's all the stuff I find about October 1st, 1960. Now I'm going to share some fun facts about folks who was in this episode and worked on this episode. Please do, please. All right. We had the directors of a fellow by the name of John Rich. Listen to this guy's mother fucking career. You're gonna blow your mind. He directed the pilots for the Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island.

Wow. Wow. You ever see the pilot of Gilligan's island? Black and white. Isn't that the one where they wind up on the island? That's correct. That is what happens. And it is gritty, black and white. It's on film, it's on location. They shot it on a real, Goddown island.

Is it gritty? Is it not really funny? It's great. I didn't find anything to laugh at. It's long and it's very indulgent filmmaking. He also, here's something interesting, help me understand. Have you heard of the movie called Mother Jugs and Speed? Sure. Okay. That's Bill Cosby, right?

He is in that. Elliot Gould? No, that's Max Devlin. Sorry. I don't know. But there's a lady character in that movie called Jugs. What's to understand? Well now, it's spelled JUGS, right?

And I reckon, I think it might be Jane Fonda, I reckon it's a reference to her boobs. Okay, now, John Rich directed a television version of it. They brought it, decided to bring it to television. They kept the title, Mother Jugs and Speed, but they added an extra G to to to to to to to to the word to the word the word to the word the word to the word the word the word to the word the word the the word to the their their their their their their their their their to bring it to television. They kept the title, Mother, Jugs and Speed, but they added an extra G to the word Jugs. Oh yeah. Like the magazine? Doesn't the magazine have two G's? I guess it does, but I think that must have been a, hey, we can't put a reference to Boob's in the title of a television show? And they said, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, the they. they. they. they. they. they. Oh, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the magazine. Oh, the magazine. Oh, the magazine. Oh, the the the the the the their. Oh, like, like, like, their. Oh, they. Oh, like, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. Oh, they. they. they. their, they. their, their, their. their.. That is just her name, it's her God-given name. That's right. Yeah.

It's from the high German Ugs. Uh-huh. Mater Yugs. To me, the second G just makes the seem more breasts. Yeah, it really. Somehow it does, right? Yeah, like she's got two big G's swanging around from her clavicles. You know what I mean. I know what you mean.

G is a very round letter with the dangling nipples swinging back up. The serif is a bit like an arreola or at least pointing to the nipple. It's the sexiest letter. Apart from the letter O, I can't think of a letter that's more booblike than the lower case G. Oh, B. B. But then you you you you you you you you you you then you then you then you then you then you then you then you then you then you have then you have then you have then then then you have th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the th like than the lowercase G. Oh, B, the uppercase B. Have you seen it? Yeah, but then you have to imagine she's lying on her side. Right. Know what I mean? Can you believe they rate children's movies G?

That's crazy. Well, it's upper class. Oh, you're thinking a lower case. Oh, you're thinking of lowercase G. Oh, lowercase G. Oh, excuse me, I just have had a nipple swinging me. Yeah, me too. I need to stop thinking, stop thinking about the lower case G, god damn it. Oh, anything but that. Juggah. He also directed the black Jesus episode of Good Times. You ever see that episode? No, no. They've got a painting of Jesus and he's black, and it makes people upset. It's a good. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. Oh. He's. He's. He's. th. thi. tip. Oh. Oh, tip. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, tipipk. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Oh, t. Oh, t. Oh, t. Oh, t. Oh, t. Oh, t. Oh, t. Oh, t. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's t. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's t. He's. and it makes people upset. It's a good one. Then you got, he did 81 episodes of All in the Family. He directed the pilot for Charo and the

Sergeant. Jesus. Wow. This guy had a hell of a goddamn career and he was one of the executive producers of MacGyver along with Henry Winklow produced McLeod. Yeah, he did. Can you believe that? Because it had a leather jacket in it and he had to be a consultant. I guess that's right. And yet he still had to do those commercial for reverse mortgages. I tell you I don't understand. Halstead Wells wrote this episode. He wrote 310 to Yuma. Oh and he also we haven't talked about the Schlitt's Playhouse of Stars in a while but he he wrote an episode of that called 50 Beautiful Girls which I'm interested to check out. That's a hundred G's. A hundred lowercase G's. And he was on my favorite medical show title of all

times, Doctors Hospital. I just love that time. That's where doctors go when they're sick. Yeah, I guess so. Now we got Harry Towns played to Tom Edwards in this episode. He's the drunk man in the wheelchair in this episode. this episode. Poor man.

Poor man. He was in a two-parter of the Incredible Hulk in its fourth season in which he is a second Hulk. So if you are interested to see what a senior citizen Hulk would look like. I am. Yep, I watched part one last night out of curiosity and it's fantastic. It's fantastic. It's really good. He's real old and he's eager to be a Hulk.

Is he angry? Yeah, he's got real personality problems. All right. Yeah, time cast. Yeah, I haven't seen episode too yet. He was also in the episode of the Star Trek's called the Return of the Archon, which has a character named Landru and I'm just going to say I have no way of knowing this at all. But I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have I have the the the the the the th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I'm just that th. th. that I'm just that I'm just that I'm just that that that that th. that th. that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that's that's that's that's really. that's that's that's that. that's the no way of knowing this at all. But I have a feeling that if your name was Andrew and you was growing up in the 70s and everybody in the neighborhood saw that episode of Star Trek and reruns one day, they

might call you Landreau for the entire summer and you'd piss you off. I just would, that's just conjecture. That's no lived experience no certainly not I don't think I know anybody by that name by either one of them names. This Andrew we would have to assume was so thin skinned that something as benign as calling him a slightly different version of his name from a TV show okay tothrough his summer. Hold on a second. Hold on, Tonyed. Oh, it's not the same.

My whole family has been blighted by this show. I just, I feel bad for that fictitious, uh, Andrew, having everybody in the neighborhood, Landry, hey, it's Landry. You know what I mean? Like at a certain point it gets, it would get, I imagine, Tyreson. I suppose, but as far as nickname associations for kids, you could have done a lot worse.

Oh, yeah, you think so? Sure, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, being the fictitious Andrew. Let's say someone had the, okay, that's true. Try living that out. And that's not just a summer, friend. That's a lifetime. Well, I feel bad for somebody whose situation might be that. I also feel bad for Diane Foster, who played Joyce Edwards in this episode,

whose given name was Olga Laruska. She changed it to Diane Foster. Again, a good, in my opinion, a good change. Here's a fun fact about her. She was in a 1951 stage production of Othello in London starring Orson Wells. She had a role in that. She played some kind of a whore, somebody's hoar. Now what Wikipedia says about that production, it says, The play experienced some problems. On the open of night, Wells mistook his cue and accidentally walked on to the stage much

too early, right after curtain up. Realizing his mistake, he froze in front of the audience, exclaimed, fuck and exited. Was this late era? Or was it? No sir. 1951. This is very early. Wow. Very young. Boy, he was always a fuck up that guy. I guess so. He got lucky. This is before his champagne commercial. Oh, he's a champagne commercial. Hundreds of times. Me too. Anytime I need a little pick me up I go over to YouTube and I... Show me Or show me Orson Wells for it's not champagne though is it? It's Palm Assam. It's brandy right? Oh, the French. Isn't he saying excellent champagne. It is a champagne. Yeah, all right. The French have always been celebrated.

Yeah, you got a if you haven't seen that for, hey, you know another thing you can do, by the way, you can find the actual commercial that they cut together from that shoot day. I've never done that. It's out there, it's on YouTube and it's quite clear that they brought him in for some additional dialogue recording. I read. There is a sort of, there in that you see two takes uh huh but they're like saying take 18 or something oh yeah give me all

those takes yeah where the rest of the goddamn takes son of a bitch you leaked out those two takes we need them all yeah those other commercial actors getting their opportunity to perform with Orson Wells. Can you imagine that? Guess who I'm gonna be in a commercial with Orson? Goddam Wells. Action Orson. Does he do anything? I'm gonna learn so much just watching the master at work. It's gonna change my life. I saw his interpretation of Othello. It's brilliant. Very modern.

And a Thelow. Who wanders onto the stage as soon as the play starts and yells, fuck and walks off again. Amelia, come hither I say pretty. Fuck. That must have been something. Surely you know thello that goes on that early I'll go down on you. That was opening night. Oops, a daisy.

Well, just stay in your seat. Just stay where you are. Finally we have Claude Akins as the evil character of Ezekiel, and I believe this is the first time that we have seen a Bonanza actor return as a different character. Is that right? We've talked about it, but that's just been upcoming. This is his second of four Bonanza episodes as four different character. Is that right? We've talked about it, but that's just been upcoming. This is his second of four Bonanza episodes as four different characters. They put in 16 episodes between the last time he was on as Marshall Emmett Dowd and this time when he's on as

Ezekiel. Wow. It's Claude Akins, you might remember him from B.J. In the B. J. the the they. the bear in the bear. the bear in. the bear in. the the bear in. the bear in. the bear. the the bear. the the the bear. the the bear. the the the bear. the the bear. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the misadventures of Sheriff Lobo. Well, and. Amco double A.M. C.O. He was in them commercials too. Paul Atkins. Damn fine actor. Boy, that Sheriff Lobo got up to some misadventures. Planned into the Apes, wasn't he an ape? Oh, yeah. I think that's right. Okay. Speaking of Orson Will, all right, we have about 14 minutes to recap this episode. More than enough time. More than enough time. Academy Award winner, Helly Berry.

One touch without a roll ball. His all intakes. Say it. Never let go. We're the world now. Never let go. In theater September 20th. It's true. So this episode begins with a woman riding frantically through the through the landscape and she's being pursued by Sheriff Lobo. And the music is telling us this is a fraught dynamic.

And then we come on to the Ponderosa Ranch and Mrs. Joyce Edward shows up and she is subjected to non-stop sexual harassment on the part of all four. You'd have to say that. I mean, I'd like, listen, they have a little argument over who gets to help her down from her horse. And then she says, she points to help her down from her horse. And then she says she points to Adam and is basically like, hey, you're the only one who hasn't bugged me yet about my comely figure.

And he says, well, that's because I was speechless by your comely figure. Something like that. That's how my great, great grandfather and his sons used to do it. Is that right? Wow, I could come calling without groping and petting and overly familiar touching. And Ben Cartwright now, he's the most sophisticated of the bunch. This is a married woman, and they all know that, Mrs. Joyce Edwards.

He says, come in, we need a woman around the house. I mean, just jumps right to it. Yeah, for a man who's full of honor, he seems to have none in this episode. It's true. Even as he speaks to her, his hands hovered just next to her breasts. Oh yeah. Just sitting there. Just like if she let down the force field he could penetrate it. Now, just a little bit bigger I would be caressing them. Yeah. My family really was Italian. But I have to say, don't these actors look Italian. thia Italian. thia Italian. thia Italian. thia thia thia thia to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the their their their their their their their their their their their their hands. their hands their hands their hands their hands their hands their hands their hands. their hands their hands th. their hands their hands to to to to to to to to to say, don't these actors look Italian? Yeah? They all look Italian. They don't look like cowboys. They look like greasers. Their hair is slicked back. The one kid's got jet black hair. He looks like Bruce Springsteen. Are you talking about Little Joe? Adam? Adam. Adam also dressed a lot like a rockabilly

with cuffed jeans and cuffed shirts. They have big Palooka Italian faces. They don't look like cowboys. They look like greasers. That's true. Why do they look like Italians? Well, they see, they all had different mothers. So hopefully that helps you understand. But with the exception of Michael Landon, they all look extremely Italian. Which is ironic because I believe he's part Creole.

He's part Creole. Yeah. If you have an issue with Adam... Guys really know a lot of it. Yeah, we do. I've seen every episode multiple times. Uh-huh. If you have an issue with Adam Cartwright's hair, you need to take that up with

his wig maker. Yeah. Pernell Roberts wore a wigue. thagagague. thage. thage. thage. thage. thage. thage. thine. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.................................................................................................................. the episodes. And it only fell off on camera one time. Is that so far? In 14 seasons, yeah. He's also got longer gums than teeth. You know what I thought about Pernell Roberts for the first time watching this episode? I, there was some shot of him where I thought to myself, he looks like they would draw him on the Simpsons. the Simpsons. That's very true. Yeah. Okay. All right. Matt Greening. So now it's unclear as to why she stopped by. She seems to have come a long way for a very short visit. But in that visit she does explain that her we understand her husband is in a

wheelchair and ever since the accident he's been an asshole to her and he he and this fellow Zeke, who is Claude Akins, who's now showed up and he seems real creepy. And Zeke and her husband, Tom, stay up drinking and gambling all night. And then she explained a lot in this scene. Every night, her wheelchair-bound husband gets so drunk that this ranch hand Zeke carries him up to the bed that he shares with Joyce and then he lays him down beside Joyce and then hovers for a while. With a knife.

It was Tom, I believe it was her husband Tom who pulled a carving knife on her to which Ben says, now now now you know he didn't mean you any harm. Whoa, which is he? That was my great grandfather for you, exceptionally helpful and eager to help, and also could really tamp down any sort of red flags or concerns that were happening. Yes, yes. If a woman comes to your home and says, my husband pulled a knife on me in bed,

the only proper response is, surely you know he meant you no harm. And that's doing her a favor because she's out of line for saying so. Here, here, telling tales out of school. All right, then we've got to, Ben is going to go with her. That doesn't matter. We're back. Okay. Now we're in the dining room and the boys is having dinner and there's some discussion. What we understand now is that one time Paul and Tom was out hunting for sheep and Tom fell down and shot himself in the back with his own gun somehow. But everybody, everybody says, I think Ben Cartwright shot him, but, but that's not the fact.

Although the way he likes his wife, I'm starting to doubt it a little bit. I know. I mean, what's the real story there? Tonied? Oh yeah, what really happened is my great, great grandfather, Bonanza, uh-huh. Uh-huh. my great-great-grandfather, Bon Anza, went hunting with his friend Tom. Tom. Edwards. Yes. Same name, that's the same name. And they were hunting for sheep, who in those days were much wileer creatures that required a lot of stalking, hunting.

Mountain climbing. While cheating for hours, hunting, mountain climbing, while cheating, waiting for hours, up in blinds, waiting for these quiet, swift sheep. Dicell over time she did. Yeah, ever since they got brought indoors. And my grandfather, coveting that man's wife, pushed him off of that ledge. He did. He broke his back on a stone. Oh my God.

And then he shot him in the back just to make sure the stone had done its work. Wow. Wow. Wow. Okay. Well, that, I don't think that's what happened in the episode. It's not what we're meant to believe. So they took a little bit of liberties, maybe. They brushed it up a little bit.

Because now, okay, we get back, now we're at the Edwards house, and what we now learned to understand, first of all, Joyce says, well, I went over to Ben's house to see if he wanted to buy my property in San Francisco, but we saw that whole conversation and it never tha So I thought I'd missed it. Nope. And then we see- That was her cover story. Oh, her husband wouldn't get mad at her. She was there to tell him of her danger.

Okay, thank you. You're so smart. Now, Zeke and Tom is gambling and Zeke says, oh yeah, land in San Francisco, I'll gamble you for that or no whatever who cares it becomes clear that they are gambling for high stakes and Ezekiel always wins he wins every damn time it's also clear that they're very direct and adamant about wanting Ezekiel to get out of their lives oh yeah they're very direct about it they have neighbors who are willing to help them yeah and yet they're unable to get out of their lives. Oh yeah. They're very direct about it. They have neighbors who are willing to help them. Yeah. And yet they're unable to extricate this man. It's a dysfunctional dynamic. It seems the only reason

Ezekiel is still in their lives is because of how much money Tom owes him, which is he's like, I'm gonna hang around here and keep drinking and gambling in your house until you have paid me off and then I'm on my way seems to be there. It's premised on the idea that if someone challenges you to a bet you have to accept it right and no matter how absurd the bet is you have to go through with the consequences if you have to honor it. Truth or dare in the West was serious thing. It was not a laughing matter. Well here comes the mill because their whole thing is, oh this poor crippled, they use

that term all the time, poor crippled Tom and his wheelchair, can't do nothing but get drunk and sour. I wish we could come up with something for him to do and Adam has the idea, hey they got that body of water on their land, that creek that runs through, we're going to build a mill. Nobody around in the, for 500 miles around has had bread the whole time of civilization. We got, we got to get a mill going a wheat mill. And everybody, boy people are excited about this and Adam happens to know how to build one. He's an expert on mills. And he knows how to build it, not the mill where you put the wheel in the water and the water just turns it, where you somehow flume it uphill out of the water, hit the wheel,

and then the water just dumps onto the ground, and he's just wasted there on the ground. Yeah, I didn't even think of that. It involves a flume and a sluice and a dirt. Put the wheel in the water? Why not put the wheel in the water? Huh? I don't have anything to answer that. What?

Why not put the wheel in the water? Do you know? I don't know. I put it on the other side. There must have been, uh, how did the water get from from?? the water?. the water?. the water?. the water?. the water? the water? the water? to get to get to to to to the water? to to the water? the water? to the water? the water? to to the water? to. to. to. to. to the the to to to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be. to be. to be. to be. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toealwooooooea. toealwooea. toea. toe. toe. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the creek up the flume through the sluice. I'm going to imagine a conversation where they're all set to put it in the water and the locations manager says oh no we don't have permission to put anything in the water and they say that's fine nobody knows how a goddamn mill works anyway it'll flume it and sluice it I guess I don't know. How does the water get up hill in the flume? Well is it not I do I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm the th. I'm the. I'm th. I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get from from from get get get from get from get get from get get get from. I get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get get the. I get get get get get get get the. I the. I get get get get get the does the water get uphill in the flue room run? Well, is it not?

I do believe that they would have, uh, jet-jettisdened from the river at a higher altitude. Okay. And then the sluice runs down to where the mill is, is that not right? It's worth pointing out, we never see the river in the the the episode. No. There is there is there is there is there. There is there. there. It is there. It is there. It is the the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the the. It's worth. It's worth. It's worth thoes. It's the the theatheatheatheatheatheatheatheathe. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's theathea. It's worth. It's worth. It's worth. It's worth. It's worth. It's worth. It's worth. It's worth. It's worth. It's worth. It's worth. It's worth. It's worth. It's worth. It's worth. It opening the, the one where Hoss is open in the valve. So maybe he's up above that, you know, Rose's pond. Yeah, don't forget. I'm not wrong, right? We never see the river. We never see a river, that's true. No. No. But we do see Haas, turn a wheel that seems to release water from one place to another. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay, we we we we we we th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. the the the the th. the th. the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to. tose. tos. tos. tose. tos. tos. tos. tos. tos. tos. the. the. the. th. th. th. to another. Yeah. Okay. Okay we agree on that. Well all right

anyways, Paul comes by and he pitches the mill idea and everybody's happy and they're gonna building this mill. But old Zeke is causing troubles he's old Zekey old is trying to say hey he's putting poison in. Speaking of Othello by the way. He's a yagowing old Tom in the say hey he's putting poison in speaking of Othello by the way he's a yagoing old Tom in the wheelchair saying he is right he's saying Adam Adam Adam Cartwright is in love with your wife goddamm and it's true he's not wrong he's not wrinkle no yeah they are same with the same with the father laying in the shadows waiting for his wife.

All four of these men have come onto this woman unambiguously, in particular Ben Cartwright. They've had full-on mouth kisses and he's been saying things to her like, I can't just, I can't put up with those boys anymore. I need a woman. It's just, he ain't being subtle. I don't even love you. Right. Okay. Well, so, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th, tho, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho. tho tho tho thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. theea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thooo. tho. tho. All, tho. I don't even love you. Right. Okay, well, so now Tom is getting real mad and I think we just need to cut to the chase and tell you that there's a confrontation, right? Because where it gets real freaky, unless there's anything else you guys want to point

to in this episode. I mean, no, just other than if you want to build a mill, watch this. That's true pretty great But it comes to the point where it's quite clear that Ezekiel Had he wants to be he has taken Tom's place and Ultimately they make the craziest bet you've ever heard of where Ezekiel says I tell you what we're gonna do one simple cut of the cards and if you win You the slate is wiped clean currently. I own your house thir. th. th. the house. the house. th. the house. the house. th. the house. th. th. the house. the house. th. th. the house. the house. th. the house. th. the house. th. th. the house. the house????? I the the the the the the th. thi thiq. thiq is is is th. It's th. It's is is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. It's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's is. I's. I's. I's. I's. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tee. I's quite. I's quite. I's quite. I toecoe. I'm the the the the the the the the the cut of the cards, and if you win, the slate is wiped clean. Currently, I own your house and your mill and your land in San Francisco and your wheelchair and everything else, but you'll have all of that back if you win this cut of the cards, but if you lose it, I'm going to also take your wife. Now, that's, I mean, pretty crazy. I'd love to see the legal documentation on that.

Also crazy that the cartwrights put in so much work to build a mill when they could have just asked Ezekiel to leave. Oh yeah. Yeah. They've got guns. They didn't think of that. Well it seems like Adam was pretty excited to get a mill built. Haven't we seen a river on the Ponderosaosa thoosa thoosa thoosa thoosa. thoosa. thoosa. thoosa. those. those. those. tho. that. that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that. that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to be. that. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the. toe. mill built. Anyway, you know. Haven't we seen a river on the Ponderosa before? Well that's where old Adam lost his wig in a raging river that was trying to save a...

What the fuck that? Why ain't they building a mill? That's good question. Well, uh, turns out to be a fight between Paul and Ezekiel at that point because that ain't right and Paul knows it it ain't right to gamble away and wife oh and he shoots oh I guess what we didn't see is that Tom said no I'm going back on that bed I want to keep my wife and Ezekiel shoots him and then he's got some weird speech about how I am Tom now I have everything Tom has that's why I'm sitting here in his

wheelchair with his blanket. This is a single white male. Single white man. Oh, that's what it is. He's took in his place. Well Ben, it's finally had enough of Ezekiel and there is a, there's gun play and there's fisticuffs. Well, that's one another thing about my great, great grandfather. If someone were ever pointing a rifle right at him, he would just behave like there was

no gun there. He would go. All right, come on, let's go, let's leave. No, I'm holding a gun on you. Oh yeah, okay, anyway, let's leave. No, I'm still holding the gun on you. Wow, I'm starting to believe you. I mean it.

Yeah, it is very specific. Yeah, because that's true. Yeah, Ezekiel's got a shotgun on him and he says let's go. No, you're not going anywhere. Uh, okay, let's go. No, I mean it. And then he does, he pulls him crazy maneuver where he kicks his, kicks the wheelchair that he's sitting in and it, but somehow that causes him to lose his gun. I don't know. But anyways, it's a real slug fist. At some point it looks like Ben Cartwright right, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, th. that's, that's, th. th. that's, th. th. th. thi. thi. that's, that's thi. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. th. th. th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's that's th. He's that's that's th. He's thi. He's that's thr-a. He's, that's, thrown. He's, thrown. He's, thrown. He's, thrown. He's, like Ben Cartwright has a stroke in the middle of a fight. You have to go back and watch it's right toward the end. He seems to suffer a stroke. But nonetheless, he shoots down Ezekiel. And then, in the very final moments, Ben and Joyce are all gussied up, they're in their finest clothes. they're going to get married. I mean, Tom's passed away and he's made his intentions clear to her.

I thought they were in morning clothes. Oh, I guess they're in morning clothes? They've both pledged their love for one another. Yeah. Yep, they're going to get married. Wait a minute. No. Just Joyce explains. She has a hard job there to explain why she's leaving And it's the same hard job he once said to her Apparently yeah, do you catch that? No, he broke up with her once no

Well basically he said that yeah, she said that like when your wife died you said you to you to go to go to the to the to go? Yeah, yeah, she said that like when your wife died. you? that like, that like, you? that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi that, that that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's th is th is th is th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's the the same thi's the same the same thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi to had to, don't you remember when your wife died, you said you had to go meet new people. That's what I'm going to do. So long! And she takes off all by herself in that buggy. So the writers needed her to leave and had a discussion about how unbelievable it was for her to leave. And they came up with to leave. Yes.

And they came up with the rationale. This is after a multiple episode precedent of just killing women. That's right. So I don't know what. I was sure we were going there. Yeah. She's going to end up dead. Me too. Yeah. But she lives to go meet new people in Colorado.

Yeah, it makes you wonder why, taking the totality of the episode, there was the element that he loved her, that he wanted to marry her if they was going to pull the rug out from under you. The ethics of the whole thing are thrown into confusion. It makes him a real CAD and for no purpose. Well, but nonetheless it was a wonderful episode of a wonderful show. No. And sadly, you're not going to believe this. We only have 395 episodes of Bonanzib left to Tompard. So, I mean, at least there's a silver lining for you that there's only 300 and some episodes left for you to have to deal with, but it's very sad for us because we only have that few left. We love the shit. How many are there there there there there there there there there there there there there there the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their thi. thi. thi. thi. Uh. their. their. Uh. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. toooooooooooooo. to. to. to. to. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th you to have to deal with but it's very sad for us because we only have that few left. We love the channel. How many are there in

total? Four hundred and four hundred thirty one. Well you ought to know that Bonanza had four hundred thirty one television worthy adventures in his life. That's right. And apparently some spin-offs and record albums and merchandising. Well so so you must get royalties and you must be rich the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole they're the whole their their their their their. their. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they are they are they're they are they are they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. total. total. total. the whole. the whole. the the total. the whole. the. the. the. the. the. their. their. the. the. Oh yeah. Well so you must get royalties and you must be rich from all this is it? No what? The whole point? Oh really? They stole his life. Oh man I'm sorry Tony. And you two lured me here. You put me in this chair. Oh my godd-casting chair. Made me record this with you. It's true. It's true. We shot you in the spine metaphor for me the this chair, this is a podcasting chair, made me record this with you. It's true. We shot you in the spine metaphorically, but we have gone a little over the time we need to get out of here, so we're going to get out of here. Thank you for joining us, and I think

you've accomplished your goal of bringing some attention to you, Greg, Greg, I have. I'm grateful. And we look forward to you coming back back back back back back back back seven grandchians. I can't wait to hear about all the answers. I'll take some time, give it some thought. And these better be good. Some of them took their mother's names. Well, no, I don't know. I don't know. That's something right. Just threw in then. No, I think all seven of them need to be directly descended. So we'll see you real soon and that's it. That's an episode Bananas for Bananza. Thanks to you by Andy Daly, with Maria Bamford and Matt Gorley, theme song by Matt Gorley, with the journeyman, which in this case are Mark McConville, Daniel Mitchikoff, and Wade Ryan. Bananas for Banza is mixed and edited by Brett Morris and Andy Daly, Matt Gorley, Brett Morris, and Little

Scott Acker. We'll see you next time. Say it. the Academy Award winner, Helly Berry. One touch without a robot is all a tax. Say it. Never let go. We're. Say it. Never let go. We're the world now.

Never let go. In the theater September 20th.