Bonanas for Bonanza - Re-Release: Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #13: “Vendetta”

Episode Date: August 2, 2023

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDalyDalton, Mutt and Amy welcome "True Detective" scribe Nic Pizzolatto to the show! He explains how writing is just "manipulating people with the alphabet," before luring Dalton into a conversation about bodysnatchers. Then they recap season 1, episode 13 of Bonanza, "Vendetta," in which Virginia City tries (poorly) to protect Ben from the murderous Morgan gang.Featuring Maria Bamford as Amy SleeversonMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.comRelease date: Nov. 9, 2020 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Academy Award winner Helly Berry. One touch without a robot is all in text. Say it. Never let go. We're the world now. Never let go. In theater September 20th. You're about to listen to Bananas for Bananza episode.

This is Andy Daly. Hello. Here on this free feed, I'll be re-releasing all of the back episodes of Bananasa for Bananza one every other week. If you want to hear new episodes, add free, please subscribe to my Patreon at Patreon.com slash Andy Daily. The entire Bananas for Bananza Archive is also waiting for you there, and you can access lots and lots of bonus content. So do that. Okay, thank you. Enjoy. the tp. to you. Enjoy. So consult your TV guide. Get your great outdoors inside. Take some Ponderosa pride and forever

made. Right. Here we go. You're ready, Brian. I'm gonna start off with a ye-ha this time. I think I'll give that a try. How about it. Here we go, you ready Brian, I'm going to start off with a y'ha this time. I think I'll give that a try.

How about it? Here we go. Yeh! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Hot damn! That's Mutt Taylor firing a bullet. Now, mutt, your new thing is you fire at the top of the show each time.

Here's what we've fallen into. None of this was planned. I say a y-ha, and then you fire a bullet into the ceiling or the sky, depending on whether you're inside or outside. And that bullet has a name on it of a listener. Isn't that right? And this week is Lance Corporal Jessup Montgomery, who's one of the blue angels and he says can you put one up there and take down my F-15 Tomcat and I says hell I can and I do see it is crashing to the ground right now. What did you fire? What kind of what kind of ammunition to weaponry you fire in a way

that's called a jet killer and it's a special kind of hollow point wad cut and manstopper that I make in the back of my shipping container it's a sort of a artisanal bullet. Hell, you don't need to hear about that. Hot damn, what a treat for that Lance Corporal. What a way to go out. Shot out of the sky by Mutt Taylor, legendary guitarisman for the Journeymen. That's him there. And Amy Sleverson is here as well.

Hello, Amy, Christian entrepreneur. Yes, I've started online payday loans. Oh yeah. Christians who need cash. You know, when, because you have to have faith that you're going to make it, you're going to make enough money for rent, but sometimes God works just in time at 7.9.5% interest rate. Wow, that's a high, that's a high interest rate. Isn't that kind of high? Well, it's actually Sarasota 23%.

And then 7.9% if you become a good customer over time. Oh, I see. So you're doing payday loans. So somebody, what does that mean? I come to, I get my paycheck from a job. I thiole. . paycheck from a job, I'll bring it down to you, because I got bills that was due yesterday. I don't have time for this.

$200 from TJ Max. There you go. I don't have time to wait for this check to clear and do all the fancy stuff the bankers is doing. I need to get that money to TJ Max now. And you can't trust the banks. So you, you go, you go, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, you go, I, I, I, you go, I thua, I tho, tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, tho, I tho, the the the tho, the the the th. tho, thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to to to, I'm, to, too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. today, I, I, I go, oh, let me take your check and then I say, well, can I have maybe like $10 of it? And then you gotta pay it back to me within like a week.

Otherwise you owe me $200 or $200 more, like $200, maybe the math is, it's very, it's biblical. Oh, it is. The numbers all line up. Numbers all line up. I could show you in an in my office environment. Yeah I know you don't I don't need to hear all the numbers now but this is only for Christians is that correct? Oh yes it's only for Christians and we do you know with some prayer as well as if you want a hymn sung, we can do that as well. What do you call it? What's the name of the business? Just go, give a quick plug and we'll move

on. What's the name of the thing? Christian cash. All right, if you are low on cash, T. J. Max, breathing down your neck. to Christian cash. Say a prayer, sing a hem, get some cash. All right, good, see that one, did a little plug for it. All right, folks, hey, wait, I gotta say the thing I say at the beginning of every one of these episodes. I say, hello, friend, come on in, the gate is open wide. Welcome to Bananasa, where we talk 431 episodes of the classic TV show Bonanza, you have come to the right place. And if that's not what you're looking for, you get the hell out, god damn it. Maybe you prefer the Ted radio hour or the radio lab or some other city slickum. Well I did a search for popular podcast

list and we're not on it, God damn it. I'll see all this other bull crap on there. We ain't on the list. I don't know how they made that list. But today we're going to be talking about season one, season one, season 1st of the thirty. And this is the one that Amy S stew on. It's a good one. As a matter of fact, it might be perfect. It's life changing. I changed my life.

Oh, well, give us one example of how it changed your life real quick because I'm dying to get to our guest. I took a bath. Okay. This episode inspired you to take a bath. Man, that's a powerful episode. Folks, let me, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a powerful, that's a powerful, that's a, that's a, that's a, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiooooo. thatea. that's a thatea even tell you how excited I am and how bewildered and enticed and amused, none of those are the right word. With how wonderful it is to have this guest on our show today, this fellow, god damn, he

created the television show True Detective. You know that? You know that show? Hell I do. Are you kidding I've seen every one of the three seasons multiple times. I'll tell you what, there are three writers in this world that I will ever open and crack a book to you. That's you, Dalton, of course. Yeah, of course. That's Nick Pitsillato. And that's who ever wrote the owner's manual to my Peter Belt, the hybrider, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thr-w, thr-to thr-to thr-w, thr-to thr-to thr-to, thr-to, thr-to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thr-w, thr-w, thr-a, thr-a, thr-s, thr-s, threrea, threa, threa, threa, threa, threa, threa, threa, thre some flowery pros. Let me tell you, it's purple pros. I've heard about that owner's manual. It's the most beautiful owner's manual in the world.

But you've gone and buried right in there in your list of three. Today's guest, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome an actual man of the West. Nick Pizzolado. What's going on, Nick? I'm just super glad to be the the the the the th. the the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. thiii. thi. thi. th. tho. tho. the thoe. thiol-n' tho. thoeou. thoeoulipe. tho. tho. tho. tho. the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. th. th. th. th. the most. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. t. tri. tri. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. the most most most most super glad to be here and thank you and thank you guys for having this show and having me on. You know, I appreciate the introduction, but I think we should all be careful not to, you know, place any kind of, place too high of value on writing, really, and the people that do it. I mean, I, I, you're a writer, right? One of the reasons I admire your work so much

is because, you know, there's so many blank pages because I think that's the right idea. And, and, and, and blank pages are about all that people's brain can handle right now, uh, given the attention span and whatnot, but super glad to be here with you all. And, and, I mean, when I discovered this show, and, you know, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their their their, their their their their their their their their their thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, theeeeean, thean, thean, theean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thi, thi here with you all. And I mean, when I discovered this show, and you know, I was like, this is the church of what's happening right now. And more people need to hear it, and anything I can do, and just to be a part of it, I mean, you know, this may have been the last checklist of my ambition box.

When I first heard you guys show, the values espoused, the sort of cherished nature of history to this show. I thought I got to meet these guys. I gotta find some way to, to get. to, to get to, to try to, to the show. I thought I got to meet these guys. I got to find some way to commune with them and just to be a part of it. I'm thrilled. I stopped drinking an hour and a half ago so I'd be clear-headed. Did you call us the church of what's happening now which was the sitcom reboot of What's Happening? Now was that? Did you called us the church of what's happening now which was the sitcom reboot of what's happening? Now was that? Did you call us the church of what's happened now? Yes. Oh well that's one of the nicest things. Anyone's ever said to me

that's one of the nicest things because I revered that sitcom and not the inferior what's happening now, second one. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was wondering if you could take a look at my, I'm self-publishing a women's version of the Bible and I'm rewriting it from the point of view of a romance, it's all from the women's point of view. Really? Well, that's a good idea. Don't those, don't most of those romances in pretty bad for the women? The narration must have to keep getting handed off, right? Well, you gave that. Yeah, if you're watching, Benanza.

You, you, that's too. Unless you're talking about Mary, I guess. Well, anything you do, Amy, I'm on board. That's the thing is like, I'm going to punch it up with, you know, like, our, our tent became like a rocket ship and we came in synchronous apocalypse. You know, like, the other version of, that's a rock. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sex. That's exactly. You're going to punch up the Bible and make it a little more arousing and ar like, the other version of, Sex. That's a wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sex, sex. That's exactly. You're going to punch up the Bible

and make it a little more arousing and erotic. I think that's a fine idea. Just so you know that when Lott's daughters got their father drunk and raped him, that it was fun in games. It was hot, right? Every time you remind me, yeah, every time you remind me that launch daughters raped him, I have forgotten it since the last time. And it surprises me a new every time. It always takes me by surprise somehow.

I'm not sure I caught that the first time. And right now, I'm a little bit of women have always raped men when they were drunk. Oh, that's how we get the seed of Lord Jesus Christ and Christians into the next millennium. And that's the truth. Nick's right on board with you. Yeah, now Nick, now I understand you, because you are, I mean, you've got to say it, what you do for a living, my friend, unless I'm mistaken is you're a rider. No, I know, I know, I know, I'm, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not exactly, I'm not exactly, I'm not exactly, I'm not, I'm not exactly, I'm not exactly, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not exactly, I'm not, I'm not exactly, I'm not exactly, I'm not, I'm not exactly, I'm not exactly, I'm not exactly, I'm not exactly, I'm not exactly, I'm not exactly, I'm not exactly that I'm not exactly the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not th. I'm not that, I'm not th. I'm not that, I'm not th th th threat. I'm not th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I'm not th. I'm mistaken is you're a writer. I know I know I know you know I'm not exactly proud of it though. You know and I mean I kind of think you you you might have heard me on on some level. You know I remember my father

telling me that the writing is no kind of profession for a man and and and I've always agreed with that. I still have a problem calling it writing I mean they you know what do you give awards for writing they do don't they I call it manipulating people with the alphabet and you know I think that kind of dismiss a little bit you know if there's some worse than a writer it might be a philosopher but I don't know you know I think you know I know I know you know I you know I you know I think you know I you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure you're sure you're sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure. you're that. you're that. you're that. you're that. you're that. you're that. you're that. you're that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. You're you. You're you're not you're not you're not you're not. You're not you're not you're not. You're. You're. You're not you're. You're sure you're sure you're sure you're sure you're sure. You're sure. You're sure. You're sure. there's something worse than a writer, it might be a philosopher, but I don't know. You know, it may be at this late stage in life I have become that which I'd attempt. It could be a podcaster. Yeah, that might be lower than philosopher. Hey, I never thought about that. No, it's not. I never thought about that when you're writing,

you're only using those all them letters of the alphabet, isn't that something? And there's only about 50 those. Oh yeah, yeah, I never thought, I just never thought about it that way. That writing involves the alphabet. Yeah, it's like, there's like 30 or something and yeah, that's all you're doing. You're just rearranging these 30-something symbols to make people, you know, believe, you know, stuff that isn't true, basically. What do you use numbers? Or is that just math?

Oh yeah, can you put a number in a book? That's a good question, Mutt. Wow. Well, see, that's always stumped me, because I never know, do I put the number down or do I spell the number? Oh shit. And so then what I've done is just avoid them all together as much as I can. Yeah. Although they they put them on the pages so they I mean that's what I mean though. There's a whole mess if you start entangling the ball of yard. Yep, the book company will do that. That happened th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho I tho I tho I tho I tho I tho I thi. thi. tho I tho I tho I tho I tho I tho I tho I tho I tho I tho I tho I tho I tho I tho I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Do I I th. Do I th. Do I th. Do I th. Do I the. Do I the. Do I the. Do I the. Do I the. Do I'm the. Do I'm the. Do the. Do I'm the. Do the. Do I'm the. Do I the. Do I the. Do of yarn. Yep, yep, the book company will do that. That happened to me when I got my book. I said, what are all these goddamn numbers in the corners of the pages, you sons of bitches? We never talked about that. Yeah, I was furious. Arabic numbers and there's Arabic numbers. When do we get American numbers? Yeah, I don't say anything just. That's that's. I the they. they. their that's that's. that's that's that's that's that's their their that's their. that's their. their. I. I their. I's their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. their. their. th. their. th. their. their. I their. I th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. It's. It's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.that, they snuck that in. Yeah, because they got Arabic numbers

and there's Roman numerals. When do we get American numbers? Yeah. Here, here. That's right. My Bible is, it's also choose your own adventure. Oh, really? So yeah, you get to one part and go, oh, what would I do? You know, would I kill everybody in all the Philistines?

And then if you do, then you head on back to Esther. What can you be, would it be a choice to be, I'm Noah, and I'm only going to bring horses and cows and forget all the rest of the animals? Yes, that's a choice. I could take that choice and then see what happens after that. What about the... I gotta add that to my choices because my book isn't done yet. The thing is I don't have a deadline because it's self-published. That's the beauty of it. What about that that fellow who gets raped by all his daughters? Could he choose not to? Well, that's a main point in the Bible. It's how men have constantly been sexually assaulted by women,

and mostly women they know. Oh, of course. That's what I heard. There's always someone you know. Yeah. We've all been canceled. Hey Yeah. When you're canceled. Hey, Nick, when did your father want you to do for a living? Did he have a preference for you to what you's going to do?

Well, he always suggested I wasn't good for much of anything. And, um, but heavy lifting seemed to, like, that was sort of his venue. He thought I could have stuck with construction, not actually th and anything anything anything anything th and anything, but thing anything, but like, but like, but like, but like, the the the the to to to be like, the the to be like, the to be like, the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the to be to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. the the thean. the the thean. thean. the thean. thean. thean. toean. thi. thi. thi. to. to like that was sort of his venue. He thought I could have stuck with construction, not actually constructing anything, but like being the guy who pushes a wheelbarrow full of bricks and stuff. Oh, you know, maybe the other guy's yell at. Or a garbage collector he mentioned. Yep, well, those are all. That's work for a man.

He thought bounty hunter was the highest profession you could have, but he he told me I didn't that I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I that that that that, that's work for a man. He thought bounty hunter was the highest profession you could have, but he told me I didn't have the stomach for it and, and he's probably right. I was once a bounty hunter. It's a true story. I was a bounty hunter and then the bounty came in on me and I turned myself in and let myself go and made a ton of money. It's a great scheme. Amy, you should consider that too as one of your business issues. I'm writing it down right now. That's not a bad idea to be the hunter and the prey at the same time. Saves a lot of time. Cut out the middleman. That's what you did. I like that. Close the circuit. Perfect circle. Yeah. Now, Nick, I'm so glad that we finally have a proper admirer of this podcast on as a guest.

It seems like we've had a lot of people on here who barely heard of it or are openly hostile to it, so I'm delighted. And are you also a big old fan of Bonanza? You like television show Bonanza? Well, I mean, I haven't seen all 400 and whatnot episodes, but, um, you know, I, um, you know, I, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I mean, I haven't seen all 400 and whatnot episodes, but, you know, I've found that's not exactly necessary in order to appreciate it because so many of them seem to repeat the story. But yeah, I guess I'm a fan of the values, you know. Yeah, fathers, sons, the mothers have kind of been pushed off to the side a little bit. And that's why these three guys have grown up to be such commanding presences as men.

I think is like, well, how did those cartwright boys turn out so good? Well, they didn't have moms. That's how. And they can leave whenever they want. I have a question. Yeah. When you mention whenever they want there's not explain absences of men during their own show. In this one especially, half the cart rights are good. Yeah, I began to wonder, is there an episode where they they they they they they they they they they all all all all all all all they they they especially. Half the cartwrights are good. I began to wonder, is there an episode where they're all in a story together?

Season's or was that like the season finale or something? Yeah. Well, that's right. I was going to say this episode has everything. It's got gunfire, betrayal, guerrilla warfare, and the complete absence of half of the regular castes. This is a classic Bonanza episode. Two of the cast members are dispatched with in the very first scene as so often happens on this show. I was going to ask you that when you was writing that true detective did that ever happen to you that you write a whole story for an episode and then you suddenly go, oh crap.

This one cannot accommodate Woody Harrelson and you got to send yeah. Yeah that that that things like that would happen, but it was more about, you know, somebody not showing up on the day. And so then you got to, then you have to re-manipulate the alphabet really fast. So that, well now this scene just has one of the guys in it or now this scene doesn't have anybody in it or whatever. It's just you got to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work work work work work work work work to work to work work to work work work to work to work work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work on to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. the their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the.a. toe. to. to. to. to's just you got to work on the fly like that but but with actors you know you really got to stay flexible because they're they're not too linear in their thinking and you know calendar keeping but I don't blame them I blame numbers because that's what the damn calendars made out of

so yeah things like that. Sometimes you just have to shoot a scene with nobody in it because nobody came to work that day. That happens. Those are called establishing shots. And sometimes you got to make a whole episode of established shots. It's just a bunch of goddamn landscape. Ask David Attenborough. All those had casts.

Planet Earth began as a remake of Ben Hur. I don't even think people know that. I had no idea of that. That's amazing. And none of the actors showed up so they just said, well I don't know, we're not, we can't, can't waste the day. Just roll on the ocean. The Earth is a star. Yeah. All these high-depth cameras. Yeah. And so before they knew it, the landscape was a star. And now I think people have started figuring out this year. We actually don't need actors. We just, you know, we just need something to take pictures and something to send it to people

who are sitting around watching pictures. Maybe we can agree on this. Podcast or philosopher, still ain't as bad as being an the star. the star. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their. And the their their, and their, and the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the landscape was. And the the the landscape was. And the the landscape was. And the the the the the the tha tha tha. tha tha. tha. tha' tha' tha' thararararararaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa'era' sa' tha' tha' tha it to people who are sitting around watching pictures. Maybe we can agree on this. Podcaster, philosopher, or writer, still ain't as bad as being an actor. Here, here. Yeah. Yeah. That's a real problematic one. Yeah. I don't know if you notice that the clock played a real role in this this episode. Oh, yeah. We meet the clock played a real role in this this episode. Oh, yeah. We meet the clock. Time was the star of this episode. Time.

Time itself. Very well. Hey, I also want to ask you before we get too in-depth on the episode, which I can't wait to do. Nick, did you say here you wrote the remake of The Magnificent Seven. Is that true? Did you have have the the the the the the the the the the the to have the the the the to have the the the the the the the the the the that that the to have to have to have the to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the clock the clock to have to have toe. Weaq. Weaq. Weaq. Weaq. Weaq. Weaq. Weaq. Weaq. Weaq. Weaq. Weaq. Weaq. Weaq. Weaq. Wea. We toe. We toe. We toe. We toe. We toe. We to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have that that to have something. We have something. We have something. We have something. We have something. We have something. We have something. We have to have to have to have to have to have something. We have to have something. We have something. We have here you wrote the remake of the Magnificent Seven, is that true? Did you have something to do with that? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did, and I think they brought in like four or five riders after me, which was fine. And then I was kind of surprised my name was on it then. Don't they need to have it? Yeah, something like that, it, it, it, that, that, that, that, you, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, you, that, that, you that's that, that's that's that's that's that's to that's that's to to to that's to that's to to trying to write my name was on it at the end. Don't they need to have it?

Yeah, something like that. Yeah, that, you know, because I hadn't done TV that way, but it turned out in the movie. Yeah, they were like, we love this script, let's make this movie. Yeah. And then, but we're going to need interesting. Yeah. You know, I turned it in and then I didn't have anything else to do it. That's how I like to do it. Is I give you paper, you give me paper, and we don't need to talk about this again. And I thought we should mention that.

Well, we should mention that. Didn't you also Nick work on the Deadwood movie because we got a big rivalry with the Deadwood podcast called Deadwood Boys. Yeah, well, I mean, just for a couple weeks and that was more about hanging out with Dave Milt, who I really enjoy a lot. And then I had to go make my own thing. Yeah, I mean, you know, you guys shouldn't sweat it. Deadwood had what, 20 something episodes and a movie? And, and a movie? I mean, I mean, I mean, yeah, thi, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, the the the the the the the, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, the, well, well, the, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. th. th. I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I, I th. I, th. I, the, th. th. th. Yeah, I mean, you know, you guys shouldn't sweat it. Deadwood had what, 20 something episodes and a movie? I mean, with 20 something versus 400. Like, you guys could lose 300 episodes and you still win. I like it. We're just getting, we're just getting started on our pharmaceutical merch.

Oh yeah. No, I wouldn't mind hearing about that. Yeah, yeah. Just different kinds of, you know, poultices and non-approved, just, you know, things where, I'm just starting. I'm just starting with my pill production. I don't even know what I'm doing. But. Yeah, the FDA hadn't come anywhere near your poultices. No, no. No, no. No. No. No. No. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, no. I, no. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, I, I, I, I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th't even know what I'm doing. Yeah, the FDA hadn't come anywhere near your poultices. No, no. I'm real big on those alternative, yeah, I'm real big on those alternative pharmaceuticals too. I think that's fabulous. Yeah. You're gonna have like cocaine and MDMA, things like that, from a Christian standpoint. I would love to get some Christian cocaine.

Yeah. Oh, recycled medical waste. Recycled medical waste that because, you know what, sometimes our health care system is overwhelmed by waste. And so I, you know, so extra pills, you know, other things that come with that, make them into powders and unguents and jams and jellies and sauces and salas and foams

and soups and smoothing milks. You'll make a salsa or a foam out of some medical waste? Well, it's now it's a natural, it's a natural, um, substances is health care. Yeah. Where do you get your hands? Can you snort them? Oh yeah. We can.

You can. But it's all in just really, it's cute. It's all about the packaging. It's cute. It's really cute packaging with gold leaf. What's smooth in milk? That ever comes straight from the teet? Well that, yeah, it's it is a milk, but it's genuinely something that kind of looks like milk, but comes on the human body and

then we gather as much as we have of it and that's just me. I just talking about myself in the garage and then I I pour it into little you can at Michael's craft store you can get these little bottles that look kind of like like a little drug star bottle but they're cute. Oh wow I'm sorry where do you get the medical waste I'm just curious to know what's your Oh it's just out there it's out there out to go. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. I I I their. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the get the medical waste? I'm just curious to know. What's your service? Oh, it's just out there. It's out there. Go to your local hospital.

It's out there in a big, you know, blue bin. Oh, okay. Oh, I didn't know that. All right. Well, I'll do that to help out. I'll send you some medical waste. Yeah, because I mean at the hospitals they keep the pharmacies like locked up tight, I can tell you. So I was wondering about that myself, but you're doing that. Okay. Not if you have a niece who's in nursing. She's an assistant. She's a, she just got her assistant nursing certificate and so oh so I get to craft. Good for you nurse crafting. Well all right marvelous so I

think that's good I think we could start talking about the episode normally what we do is we'll take a little break and then we come back and we dig deep into the episode. You guys ready to do that? Hell yes. Okay. I am. I'd like to talk to you about monsters at some point, but we can wait. I have been talking. I'm not supposed to talk about monsters on this podcast, but I think there might... Yeah, exactly. That's what I was going to say. Bullshit. So when we come back from the break thia monster. thia monster. thia monster. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, took took took to, to, to, took to to, to to, to, to to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. the th. the the th. the th. tho, the tell tell you tell you tell you tell you tell you tell you tell you tell you tell you tell you tell you tho. and me is going to talk about monsters. And then we're also going to talk about episode 13, season one, Bonanza, the Vandetta. Except without the word the. It's just Vandetta. Okay, we'll be back. Academy Award winner Helly Berry.

One touch without a robot is all in takes. Say it. Never let go. Never let go. We're the world now. Never let go. In theater September 20th. All right, folks, we're back. Oh my goodness, I hope you made good use of that break. Because ma'am, this is a hell of an episode we're going to talk about. Now Nick, you wanted to talk, we could touch briefly on the subject of monsters, which

I have been told time and time again at knowing certain turns I must absolutely not discuss on this podcast. But did you have a... I just think that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to make to make to make to make tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooeses. I ma. I ma. you have a... I just think that's another aspect of your courage and your moral fortitude in facing these things down is something I mean I really admire about you and and you know so one of the ones I wanted to ask you about that I don't think I've heard you bring up but but but I'm starting to think there's way more these than than I ever suspected is body snatchers. Oh holy do you know about body snatchers? Yeah yeah yeah what's the story about this occurred to me yeah well okay so they're alien pods that come and you don't know where when, but at some point, Yeah, they come in the 50s and the 70s, but that's, that's, there you go.

And it happens a lot at curves. You're just switching stations and you're going from abs to legs and all of a sudden, where do they go? Really? This is worse than I thought. So you're saying we've had an attack of these in the 50s and in the 70s, I 70 70 70 70 70, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, they, that that that that that that that that that that that that that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's that's, that's, that's, but that's, but that's, but that's, but that's, but that's, but that's, but that's, but that's, but that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're thi This is worse than I thought. So you're saying we've had an attack of these in the 50s and in the 70s, I'd say we're more than do Right. Yeah, and and they didn't go anywhere, you know, they're still out there and what they do is they replaced somebody you knew with somebody that looks and talks just like the person you knew, but but it's not them and yeah, and so I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I kind they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're kind kind they're kind kind kind they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind they're kind they're they're they're try try try took kind took kind took kind they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're just like the person you knew, but it's not them. And yeah, and so I was kind of wondering if you've been, you know, if you have noticed anything like that because this occurred to me, you know, I had this girlfriend last year. And things were real good about the first three months, things were very affectionate, you know,

like, like good, physical chemistry and stuff like that. And very affectionate you know like like good good physical chemistry and stuff like that and then you know something happened you're trying to say a lot of fucking well I don't like to be crude but no that that actually isn't what I was talking about all right that's no short you wrote her heart and put her away with yeah you got some smooth and milk yeah yeah yeah, well, anyway, Nick, what was I saying? So three months, three months, everything's going fine with the girlfriend. Yeah, but then, you know, three or four months, the sort of affection I had been enjoying seemed, seem to lessen drastically, and she was being real critical of me a lot

which which hadn't happened the first three months and I started looking around and and a chance to pawn the documentary called Invasion of the Body Snatchers and I was thinking about you and I was thinking about body snatchers and I was thinking about how I mean you know when we met she used to like the room and seemed happy that I was there and I was thinking about how, I mean, you know, when we met, she used to like walk in the room and seem happy that I was there, you know, give me a hug and a kiss or something. And now, you know, she'd walk in the room and start telling me I was doing something wrong. And I decided she had been body snatched. And then I had another friend of mine, a friend of mine was talking about his son, who he always had a beautiful relationship with, according to him.

And sometimes, you know, all of a sudden his son started like hating him. And he said it was around, you know, when he turned 13. And they had been nothing but buddies. And now his son, you know, he, you know, he decided, you know, he said, he, he said, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know, he, he, you know, you know, you know, he said, you know, you know, he said, he said, he said, he said, you know, he said, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, th. he, he, th. th. th. he he th. he he th. he when he turned 13 and they had been nothing but buddies and Now his son, you know angry at Molokam didn't appreciate him Slam doors Yeah, and I sat him down poured him a glass and said you know buddy, I hate to tell you this, but Wrett's been body-satched. Jesus Christ. And that's not your son.

Now, what happens to the real son then? Because I understand he's been replaced by someone that looks just like them, but is it really an alien? What do the aliens do with the real son? They just need them? My understanding, yeah, yeah, yeah, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, the plants, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th understanding, the plants probe them, then devour them, like a Venus fly trap or something. So it's not like you're going to be able to find the real person. You're just living with a body-snatched alien. And what does it want to do?

Does it want to kill you eventually? Seems like they just want to criticize you a lot. But maybe that's how it starts. I didn't, I didn't let it get that far. Yep. You've got to take matters into hand. I was taken over by a horse demon. And I, I knew it was happening and the horse skeletal had filled my head, but it also had a draculate teeth, but it was also that that that that that was that was that was that was also that was also thu or thuers, but it was also thuers, but it was also that it was also thus that it was also that it was also that it was also that it was also that it was also that that that that that that that that that that's that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that head, but it also had Dracula teeth, but it was also a horse, but it was also a skeleton. And I could see it happening, and my husband says, what's going on?

Why are you being such, you know, so crabby? And then I came back in my body and the horse demon went away. Wow. That's terrifying. Yeah. And we were a, the threat. the, the, and, and, and, and, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. But it was was was was was was was was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. But it was was was was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the was th. the, the. the. the. theateateateateat. theateat. theateat. theateat, theat. theat, theat, the the the in my body and the horse demon went away. Wow. That's terrifying. And we were at a we were at a steak house. Really? Had you been handling any of that medical waste around that time? I'm just curious. No, but I had been at curves. I joined Curves. Stay away from that Curves. Well you know what, this is making me think, Nick, because I don't, I don't know if I've told the listeners here that I'm now, where I'm living is in an underground house in a national park and I'm building it out with Phyllis Diedas, Phyllis Diedhimer's Honeycomb Timbering Method. I'm just having a giiiiiiiiiii gigantic gigantic gigantic gigantic gigantic gigantic gigantic gigantic gigantic gigantic gigantic gigantic gigantic gigantic gigantic gigantic to to their gig gig gig their their their th. I'm th. I'm just thamamamamam. I'm just thi. I'm just thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've tham. I've thi. I've thi. I'm just tham. I've tham. I've tham. I've tham. I've tham. I've tham. I've tham. I've tham. I've tham. I've tham. I've tham. I've tham. I've th. I've to to to to th. I've to to to th. I've th. I've th. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. I've thi. a gigantic under around house. And I brought in some guys to help me dig it. And it's real interesting that you say this because when they first came on the job,

they was like, oh yes, Mr. Wilcox, yes, Mr. Will, we're all excited. And then after a few weeks, and you know, I'm not paying them or anything like that, and I don't have food for them or water. all kind of talking about hunger and thirst and money and all that. You think they might have been body snatched? Yeah. It sounds pretty likely to me. I mean, I think that I think that's got to be our default now when when somebody just changes their character like that. And the good news is well you don't have to worry about paying or feeding space aliens that have body snatched your your workers. How do you cut? All you gotta do it. I pretty much the same way you kill anybody else. Just a regular person. You just pray. I mean they smothered pretty good. Okay all right that's good to know.

Well I guess I know what I'm doing later this afternoon. Smothering a bunch of aliens. Okay. Here, here. Yep. Well, I've got my alien smothering shoes on. Let's me be enough. Well, all right, folks.

What do you say? We get into vendetta? This episode, It's a real good one. I like to tell you a little bit of trivia about the people's involved in this episode. This episode was directed by a fellow named Joseph Kane, who directed a movie called The Great Train Robbery in 1941. I've heard of that. I've heard of that. It was written by a guy named Robert Thompson who wrote a movie called They Shoot Horses, Don't They in 1969. I've heard of that. This movie, I'll tell you how they describe it, they say the lives of a disparate group of contestants intertwined in an inhumanely grueling dance marathon. How does that sound? That is a beat and switch title. Let me tell you. It sure

is. It is. You expect to see a movie all about shooting horses. I'd go see that. But it's about an inhumanely grueling dance marathon. I mean, I'm curious. Yeah, I've seen that. There's not a horse in sight. But you know who is in that movie? That goddamn grandpa, the today. Goddam. That goddame grandpa Lue. that goddamn Munster's show. God damn. This episode has a guest appearance by an actress by the name of Whitney Blake. She plays Anne Samuels, the bartendress or whatever, who helps out Ben Cartwright and

listen to this, Whitney Blake would later go on to create the television program one day at a time. I wondered about that, because I looked on IM IMDB, the analog version, which exists as a giant type of phone book in my shipping container, and it said that she was a writer on the current reboot of one day at a time. I couldn't wrap my head around that. Now it makes a little more sense. That's hard because she's dead. Well, that tells you anything you need to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the to the the to the to the to the thi, thi, thi, thi, they, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoom, their thoom, their thoom, their their their their their, their their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tipeeat, tipeat, tipeat, tipeoooooomoomoooomoomoomoomorrow, thooooooomo't write. Well, that tells you anything you need to know about writing right there, right?

Right. A dead person can do it. Oh, shit. I mean, how many things can a dead person do? Right. I can write a television show. That's right. That's right. Yeah. They can bite your neck. They can rise out of a tomb. thes that people can do. But yeah, right in a TV show, shouldn't be one of them, but it is. And I was thinking if you, if you think about it, and you think about it just the right way, one day at a time is practically a female bonanza. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Oh, and Schneider's hops. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly right. Especially in them later seasons because they had that cousin come stay with him or whatever that boy was and he's kind of like a little Joe. That's right. I remember that fella. Yep.

So, I mean, you gotta squint your eyes to see it. But it is. It's a female bonanza. And then there's a couple other people in there too, but who cares? All right, let's get in. I got a person. Yeah. Okay, folks, as we were saying, the very first scene of this episode is a very quick perfunctory scene for the purpose of getting rid of Adam and Joe. They're headed off to California to buy some cattle because this story cannot accommodate four cart rights. They just can't, couldn't do it. There's no way. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. Okay, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay, th. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. th. Okay. Okay. th. Okay. Okay. th. Okay. Okay. Okay. th. Okay. Okay. th. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay just can't, couldn't do it. There's no way.

And I get it because if you'd had all four cart rights there, it would have been problem solved too quickly in the episode. You know what I mean? Unless you doubled the amount of bank robbers. But never mind, go ahead. Okay, I guess there's a way to do it. But so anyways, yeah, they leave town. They they they leave they leave they leave they leave they leave they leave they leave they're they're they're they're they leave town and then pretty much the second they are out of camera

shot, in comes this band of bank robbers. I think Adam and Joe would have seen him, would have passed by him on the way out of tent, like, pass right by him. But anyway, these bank robbers come in and they happen to decide to rob the bank where Ben and Hoss is doing some banking business. And yeah, and Ben, I mean, he says, okay, no problem. It's just money, whatever. And he tells Hoss, you know, don't get any notions, but Hoss, as we've discussed many times, is as simple as a child or a gorilla or some other such thing that ain't got smarts and he just can't help but intervene

pulls out his gun and then Bencarbright sort of tries to stop him I mean the two of them thearable decisions. Yeah he tried to stop him only so he could quickly pull out his gun and do the same thing. You're right, Goddabit. We got Hoss pull out his gun and he gets a shot off. And he gets shot in a heart. Yeah, I would have said if Hoss shot first, he could have got to jump on him. None of this problem would have happened, but Lauren Green's got micromanage every goddamn thin. Yet the two them tho. th. th. th. Yeah that one of the bank robbers is badly injured and as you say, that's right. Ben Cartwright got shot right in the heart. Didn't he?

It sure looked that way. Then he got to get into a whore hospice. Yeah. Which is also the same woman's room that has been used in every goddamn episode when they go to a woman in a room, they just put up new wallpaper. Oh, she's always... Well, that's brining up an interesting question for me because, you know, it seemed like Ben and this woman had a kind of history between them.

Just how many saloon whores does Ben Cartwright have a deep history with and and then I got to thinking well wait a minute we got these three dead wives you know the mothers of the boys well what if that's just a cover story what if there's no dead wives what if three dead wives were three living saloon hookers and and he just can't tell him so and that would maybe make Julia Boulay from you know episode whatever yeah she would have been she might have been little Joe oh my god when he says you look just like they described oh my god and what if it was all immaculate conception

well those are two very different theories. Wait, so you're saying Mary's a saloon whore? Are you saying Mary's a saloon hoar? Yes, well, yes. Well, I'm just saying that it's a great business idea to have. But does that make being a home health care? Yes. Yeah, I feel right for Joseph. He's, he's, he's, he's, to to to to to to the the the the the the the he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, so. So, so. So, so. So, the way, the way, the way, the way, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi. thi. thi. thi. a great business idea to have. But does that make being a sucker like Joseph? Yes. Yeah, I feel right for Joseph.

He's the biggest dupe in all history. Yeah, you're honest. But man, home health aids also could be retired horse. Oh, who not only know how to entertain you, but can also change a bedpan. She is. She is very useful lady. But man, Nick, that theory is blowing my mind because you're absolutely right. This is at least the third,

a disreputable woman that Ben Cartwright has got some prior history with that they talk about like the old days between the two of them. And yeah. And you imagine if just he has knocked up three different women who he cast aside and then he has had the nerve to tell his boys, I'm sorry your mother died. Well, that's what you're basically saying. And that's what I'm saying. Because if you also notice all these saloon hookers that he's so close to, you know, it, that's not th, th, th, th, the, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, he. He's just just just, he he. He, he he, he he, he he. He, he has just, he's just, he's just, he. He's just, th. He's just, th. He's just, they. He's just, they. they. their. their. their. they. thin. their. their. thin. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. he. he. he. he. notice all these saloon hookers that he's so close to, you know, it's not like he lifted any of them out of their lifestyle as saloon hookers. It was, you know, like apparently he left him right where he found them.

Yep. Maybe, you know, he took the kid and left. Yeah, and they might have been in better stations and then when he left him, they had no recourse but to become a saloon hooker. He could have left him worse. Oh my goodness, this is shocking stuff. Yeah, that's true. Maybe they didn't start out that way. Maybe the saloon hookers were his ex-wives. Oh. Oh. And could it be also, possibly to confuse it further, they could be sexual surrogates because on the West there weren't many women and these men they just grew uncomfortable and uncertain around women's bodies and so these women took it upon themselves to serve the population. That's beautiful. I've never heard of a sexual surrogate before.

What does that mean? You're with somebody that doesn't want to fuck you anymore so you find somebody else? Or what is it? Yeah, you find someone who's patient. Like someone who isn't been taken over by a horse demon and is just kind and gentle and doesn't have any expectations of you. Amy, has your husband taken on a sexual service?

Is that what you're trying to tell us? I'm just seeing it. I could have a, I could send them somewhere for like, to get serviced. You know? You ever once a while, you got to sing your... Would that make things easier or harder? Easier? Easier! Oh, oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, oh! Oh, oh! Oh, to! Oh, to! Oh, to! Oh! Oh, to? Oh, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to? to? to? to? to? to, to, to? to? to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha? Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the to-a? Oh, to to to say, Would that make things easier or harder? Easier! Oh my God, take something off my to-do list!

Amy, not to put something back on your to-do's, but have you ever thought of starting up a Christian-sexual surrogate program? Because that just seems right up your alley. That's what I'm talking about. I'm not talk would be righteous within God's kingdom. Yeah, yeah. Whenever I'm saying a business idea. Christian concubine, I like that name, it's got that eliteration that you still want to put in a book. Well, oh man, we have explored a lot here and we have impugned the character of Ben Cartwright extraordinarily but and yet at the same time I can if it's true I respect but did we you're right I know what you're saying yeah I mean it makes him a liar but it

makes him a liar in service of his picker which I don't mind so well and what's he going to do let a hooker raise his kid man man you're seeing all the angles this guy man oh man right good point you got a good point well so and oh yeah this show girl and she makes it clear that she owes been a favor and so she takes him up to her sort of Bordello style apartment which as Mutt points out his this is where all the ladies live and and then that's it then okay a posse is going to be put together a posse to go get these guys but eventually two two fellas just raise their hands and say sure why

not and they all right out and the sheriff says this is one of the many times in this episode sheriff says I'm gonna get that because they know who did it. They know it was the Morgan's. Carl Morgan is their ring later and he says, I'll never forget what that Carl Morgan did to my deputy. So he's got an old grudge against Carl. There's a lot of old grudges in this episode. All right, keep that, tuck that into your brain hat. Now, what else happens? Oh, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they'll, oh, oh, oh, they're, they're, they're, they're, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. I'll, th. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll th. I'll, I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll th. I'll tell. I'll tell. I'll tell. I'll tell. I'll tell. I'll tell. I'll tell. I'll tell guy camp and the Morgans are there and Carl, Carl's got a limp, he says because of some, he says, you're no better than that prison butcher that hacked up my leg. I think that might count as another old grudge because I can't think of any other reason that character might have had a limp, does it? He must have really have the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. C. C. thi. thi. thi. thi. Carl, thi. Carl, thi. Carl, th. Carl, thi. Carl, thi. Carl, thi. Carl, thi. Carl, thi. Carl, thi. Carl, th. Carl, th. Carl, th. Carl, th. Carl, th. Carl, th. Carl, th. Carl, th. Carl, th. Carl, th. Carl, th. Carl, th. Carl, th. Carl, th. Carl, thi. Carl, thi. Carl, thi. Carl, thi. Carl, th. Carl, th. Carl, th. Carl, th. Carl's, th. Carl's, th. Carl's, th. Carl's, th. Carl's, thi. Carl's thi., although he played the motorcycle cop in Psycho. I don't remember him having a limp in that.

So I don't know why they would have given that character a limp, I don't know. But so Billy, the boy that Ben Cartwright shot at the bank, dies and Carl vows to settle it. And they know, yeah, what do you say there, Nick? Isn't it kind of fun how Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, th know, yeah, what do you say there, Nick? Well, isn't it kind of fun how Carl, the guy from the bank is clearly meant to be dead, but they spend about five minutes talking over him and like trying to, you know, pump his heart and get him breathing and get him, you know, talk about get him to a doctor. And nothing changes. It's not like the guy was alive, and then he stops talks talk to to talk to talk talk talk to talk talk to talk talk to to talk to to to he to he he he he he he he he he he he he he to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tol. tole. tole. tole. tole. tole. tole. tole. tole. tole. tole. tole. th. th. the know, talk about get him to a doctor. And nothing changes. It's not like the guy was alive, and then he stops talking suddenly and closes his eyes. He was laying there motionless, the whole, like, limp is a rag, the whole time. And then it was like just after five minutes of talking, one of them finally says,

that's not going to help. He's dead. But as near as I could tell, nothing changed in the guy's composure from the beginning of the same to the end. It's not like the person who proclaimed him dead didn't do that right after checking his pulse or anything like that. Right. Yeah. Yeah. They kind of needed a dying coach on this episode because that other towns folk who was guilted into going when when he dies it was clearly just an exercise in how someone falls asleep comfortably and then when Carl Morgan dies that was some kind of. Oh we're going to play that clip and I'm trying to put my finger on what it was

about that death that was so terrible but I can't figure it out but anyway yeah you're right so they right in he's unconscious sloped over a horse and they talk about about the their their their their their.. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. te. te. the. te. the. te. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the, sloped over a horse, and they talk about, they talk about him like he's gonna get better. And then in the middle of that conversation, somebody says, well, he did. I guess that person knew that that whole time. Or they cut a scene. I was diagnosed with rigor mortis. You had it. You had a rigor mortg. That, that. That, that. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. that. I'm. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the............................................................................................................................... serious! Yeah. Man. That's terrible. I'm glad you got it. I wonder if he had it before he got shot. Oh, yeah. Little bit. Because that's a pre-existing condition and then it's not been Cartwright's false.

That's right. Yeah, he could have been dying a lupus for like three years and this just happened to be the day that got him. Yeah, he might never have had a pulse, actually. Well, so, okay, the posse is coming, and the Morgans out there and their encampment are going to plan a little surprise party for the posse. And so this is what happens? The posse rides in and they see one guy standing over the dead body of Billy and they say, well, this was, this is too easy. Little do they realize a basic fact of the tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha this was, this is too easy. Little do they realize a basic fact of topography and geography. There's a, there's a hillside right next to them. Couldn't

have been closer. And there's a bunch of guys up on that hillside and they've got guns. And I mean, these guys make short work of that posse. That whole posse gets wiped out in a volley of rifle fire. Now all did. Sheriff didn't look around him at all. They didn't notice. No, they kept their head straight down on that dead body and the other guy. Yep, they fell for it. They, that's amateur posse. It's not the first time somebody falls for something dumb in this episode. Well, it's first time. Not the last time. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S thi. S thi. S thi. S thi. thi. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tree. S today. th. S the. the. S th. S th. S th. It's not the first time somebody falls for something dumb in this episode. Well, it's first time, not the last time. All right, now we're back in Anne's apartment and she is, uh, what, oh, she, now we learned that something bad happened to her husband, Ed, he was on trial and he got hanged. And Ben was the only one in town who didn't want to see Ed hanged. So that's that's their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin's thin thin thin thin the. the. the. thin the. the the. thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin th. th. th. th th th. th th. th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to the. the. the. the a the a the a the a the an a the. ir little past thing that they got going on, although according to Nick, he might not have been so sad about seeing this woman's tap and hang. Right. Well, he wasn't so sad that he offered to like help her out

so she didn't have to become a saloon hooker, right? Right, right. Maybe there's some sort of frequent customer thing at the whore house and you earn sprinkles. You mean like a subway punch card? Yeah, yeah. And that's why he gets to use the private rooms all the time. Every 10 punch card you get his son. I mean, every, every, yeah, I bet that's it. This one's Creole.

Congratulations. Yeah, right. He is, yeah, that's right. I'm three visits to the whorehouse away from another son. I better get in there. Oh, yeah, I bet you he's not. I bet supposedly is right. That one day, Little Joe goes, you know, I think that's my mom. He's just, no, son, you're Creole, couldn't be. Oh, I still. I see. That was his mother. He almost seduced his own mother. Crazy. Well, so now the hoss is in town. This is, now we have a scene where the, I think it's the happy fellow who runs the hardware store

is talking about Ben Cartwright. He says, we expect him to be up and snorting for the celebration when the sheriff brings in the Morgan gang. I never heard that expression before up in the th. before, up and snortin' that's a good one. And it's it's a it's almost comical how optimistic everybody in town is about the work of the sheriff and his posse when we already know they're dead. And basically everyone who's a part of that posse isn't about cowardly. Yeah. It seems like like you know. Well they're about to get cowardly but I I'm talking about the posse that got wiped out in the, out in the, oh, the one that actually went out there?

Yeah, the ones that went. They weren't, they weren't cowards, they were just stupid. Now, Haas says, oh, everybody's so excited to see Ben. They're popping in on them. you love you love you love you we can't wait for you to get better oh my goodness and then they find out that oh oh but wait first there's a very exciting moment where a fella comes in and he's and now he says to Ben he says to Ben this town hasn't been so worked up since Ed Samuel's trial now he says that right in front of Ed Samuel's widow and it was one of those real foot in your mouth situations he was like hey wasn't it fun when we hung that guy? Oh, sorry, to his wife. He's in her apartment. Yeah, I wanted one of them to go awkward, but that hadn't been invented. Right. This was a 1660. They weren't saying things

were awkward. Well, so now the dead posse rides in, slumped over their horses, led by a little Indian boy, which I guess is how you how you deliver dead bodies in those days. Find us an Indian boy to ride in a lot of horses. Because nobody's going to blame him, I guess. And then we meet the drunk guy who was responsible for Ed Samuels being hung. Attorney General Prior, or a prosecutor, he's a prosecutor, prior. He's a lawyer who's sweet-talked the whole town into hating Ed Samuels and hanging him. But now he seems like he's going to stand up for Ben. He's trying to, he's trying to be a better, better man. And what we understand, oh yeah, there's a note attached to one of them dead bodies. And it's just, Carl, Carl, this, Carl, this, this, this, this, this, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thin, thin, thin, thin, and, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, and than, and's just Carl Morgan says I'm coming in before sundown to kill Ben Cartwright. Now, Ben and Haas start strategizing and Ben says you got to you got to hunt him like a dog

and he comes up with a whole silly plan involving pulling a rope up. Where have I said? Yeah, I had a question about this. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead, please. Well, I mean, I've seen that trick before where you like, you bury a rope under, under the dirt and then when somebody walks over it, you pull up the rope and what do, you trip them or in this case, you try. Well, it's supposed to, it's supposed to close line them off their horses is what I was thinking all the time, you know, like the horse is right in. But then it turns out in the episode, it's not that at all. People regard a single piece of rope as a barricade that cannot be surmounted in so much. And then to sort of hammer home the kind of ridiculousness of that, at the end, heart shot Bencart, right, just steps under the rope.

And which left me wondering what was the rope for. Discounting the fact that they didn't put a second rope at the other end and the horses could have just kept on going. Yeah, right. So their plan is, is we're not going to obstruct the Morgan gang on their way into town. They'll have a smooth passage on their way in. But when they're trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying try try try try try thrying thrying try try try try to get to get to get to get to get to get to get out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out to get to get to get to get to get to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their way into town. They'll have a smooth passage on their way in. But when they're trying to get out, they won't be able to and we'll shoot them. And so a hoss blocks off all the roads with wagons and whatnot, but then this one road,

he's just gonna block off with about a five foot higher rope, then they're not gonna be able to get through that. Here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here here. Here, here, here, here, here, here, here because now you said that, Nick, I feel like I know for sure what happened. In the script, it was supposed to close line them off their horses, and the stunt guy showed up and said, well, I mean, that's going to take an extra three hours. Figure that out. And they said, well, never mind. Now it's a rope that traps people inside. Because none of the morans thans thans thens m m m m morgons thens morgons thens morgs. thens morgons thens morgs. thens. thens. thi mora morgs. thiorgs. thiogens. thi. thanks. thanks. thanks. thoes. thanks. thi. thanks. thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes. tho tho tho tho thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thoes. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the thi. the the thi. the thi. thi. thi. theeeeeeanann. theann. theanann. the see in three dimensions. Yeah. Maybe that's it. There were a lot of people missing peripheral vision, forward vision in this episode, just not being

able to see things straight in front of them. Yeah. Well that was a problem in the old west. Yeah. So uh, okay, they've done their strategizing up there and, uh, and then, oh, yeah, well, the whole town now is terrified that the Morgans are coming in by around four o'clock. And, uh, and so, Hoss goes out to sort of whip up his, uh, posse of people to shoot at the Morgans once they're trapped. And he keeps, they're basically, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. Uh, th. th. th. th. Uh, th. th. th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, th. Uh, they. Uh, they. Uh, they. Uh, to. Uh, th. Uh, to, to, to, to, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, uh, to, to, uh, to, to, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Uh, uh. Uh, uh. Uh, uh. Uh, uh. Uh, uh. Uh, uh. Uh, uh, uh, uh, to. Uh, to. Uh, to. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, to. Oh, to. So, to. So, to. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, the. Uh, the. Uh, the Morgans once they're trapped and he keeps, basically people is terrified. All these people who seem like they was Ben Cartwright's friend, oh we love you Ben are now running scared and that chipper fellow who was talking about being up and snorting, now he says I've got a wife and children to think about and Hauss says to them, sometimes a man's got to think about something other than himself. Well he was thinking about his wife and his children, but. Yeah. Yeah. But, but nonetheless, I mean, Hauss ain't a, he, you wouldn't put him on your debate

team, but he, uh. No, but I mean, thank God for his ungovernable rage. Yes. No kidding. But, and this guy he's even, he's throwing money at Haas. Here take some money tho tho tho tho thi money thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. hea thi. thi. thi. hea. hea. hea. hea. hea. hea. hea. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's. He's. He's. Hea. Hea. He's. He. He's. He. He's. He's. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's, he's, he's, he's, tho. He's, tho. He's, tho. He's, tho. He's, tho. He's, thoooooooo. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's. He's, he's throwing money at hoss. Here, take some money. I just can't go out there and get involved in a gunfight. And then the doctor's not going to join up either, and then nobody will join up. And it gets to be kind of twilight zony, because the whole town is like a ghost town. And every time, every time, every exactly 15 minutes, we get a look at a different clock and a big screaming piece of music. Ba-ba-da-Bah-Ban, every 15 minutes.

And it's all about abandonment, which is my special charms. I have abandonment, tragedy charms on sale this weekend, 1999. So you can get one that says like a little cell phone like whoever you call they're never returning your calls that's when you have it's a thinker but then they never text me back you know I was trying to think how do you represent abandonment in the form of a charm on a tragedy bracelet but that's a good one a phone that's not being a phone that you can't get any you got all these names but nobody's nobody's contacting you back and then then there's one it's a half melted AA medallion for one year of sobriety like a dolly painting

it's so sad but it happens all the time yeah yeah so you've been sober for a year they give you a medallion and but this one's half melted because it's the time. Yeah, so yeah, at what you've been sober for a year they give you a medallion and but this one's half melted because what somebody just said fuck it and held it up to a liar. They just said oh who gives the chat I didn't mean swear but you know they just said I'm you know because some people just die of alcoholism they you because it's it's's, apparently it's a disease. Well, yeah, I don't know if you've ever seen one of those, but they're just plastic. You know, they're not like a valuable medallion.

So then you're just like, I stayed sober for this for a year, like bullshit. That's bullshit. Yeah. My tragedy charms are 14-carg gold plated. True story, I was once walking my dog. And this is Dalton Wilcox talking. It was trash day, and I did see a shoebox full of those medallions out at the curb. Oh, that's the AA killer. He goes around killing people who are trying to get sober. He takes their medallions, keeps them in a shoebox. I know all about that guy.

Okay, well, he was throwing him out that day. Yep. I also have one medallion and it's just a single balloon and it's, know for people for forgotten birthdays. It's low it's lower on the tragedy but it still hurts. I forgot birthday you bet you can't that balloon look like it's you know mostly running out of air. You know what I mean? Yes. That's a great design on men. Maybe it's on a with the next batch sent from China.

It's on a string that's making a U shape like what like it's a helium balloon that's sort of hovering at about eye level. That's what I like. That's the saithers kind of balloon. Everything I have is sold in America made somewhere else. Oh yeah. I want one of those balloons that's just hanging at eye level, but it's mylar so reflective and you can just see how it's just you and you're alone. You know. You know, catch sight of yourself in your one and only dying helium balloon. Yeah, I'm looking at one right now.

I'm also alone up here in Nevada. Oh shoot, I forgot. Yeah, that's alright. Well, too late to wish you a happy reason. Yeah, don't do it, don't do it. Well, you know, little warning for next year. I'm good. I'm good. I feel great. I'll write it down. All right. What do we got here? Okay. So what's it? A hoss is trying to get up a bunch of people to. A bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of a bunch a horse. Hoss. Hoss. Hoss. Hoss. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. t. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. t. t. t. t. t. t. to shoot these Morgans. Nobody will do it. Finally, the one guy that steps forward is the drunken prosecutor who hung it Samuels. And he comes in and then we have a little scene with Ben and Anne where she's changed out of her horror clothes into regular attire and he says, you look real home like now, that's a nice compliment for a lady because they shut down the saloon yeah yeah and like I could bring you

home now but I won't I won't you look almost like you're fit to be brought home and help me raise the son that we had together all most ain't happen and she he had to have known how to do a proper bed bath. Like any... Like a sponge bath. Yeah. Good point. Because she was caring for him.

Yeah, luckily the doctor managed to get that. Yeah, the doctor managed to get that bullet out of his heart, but the doctor makes it clear multiple times. He cannot move. He do not move him. It's a plot device. You cannot you. You can't. You can't. You can't. You can't. You can't. You can't. the. the. the the th. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like the the the the the th. Like the th. Like the th. Like the th. Like th. Like the th. Like the th like any. Like any. Like any. Like any. Like any. Like any. Like any. Like any. Like any. Like any. Like any. Like any. Like any. Like any. Like any. Like any. Like any. Like any. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. th. You. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. tha. the the the tha. the tha clear multiple times he cannot move he do not move him he cannot move it's a plot device you cannot move can't move I'll tell you two things that would have been great if if the moment that Ben was shot somebody said hey go get Adam and little Joe they can't be more half a mile away a block a block away by now. Or if it had been possible to move Ben.

Those would be two things that would have been great if they'd been possible. Yeah, because how much later is it? We know Austin going to think of that. No. How much later is it that Ben is up and gunning? Is it just a day? Well, yeah, or less. He cannot. I think it might be less than a day. Yeah, it's less than a day.

I think the attack must have happened before noon because the, and the clock is counting down every 15 minutes till four o'clock. It was low noon. I wanted to ask this. Yeah. If you don't mind, I don't know how someone could find this out. But if this came out before this movie, High Noon, with Gary Cooper, because that, I think that movie ripped this off.

But can you go to your I-DB book? Yeah, because what year is this? This is? High noon's 1952. It isn't stealing if it's a good idea. Well I think I still I know what the numbers say but I think the movie high noon rip this off from Bonanza. Absolutely because also this is taking this shootouts taking place at what time four o'clock so it can't be the same thing. It's nowhere near noon. No, it's four hours. No, they changed it for the movie so they couldn't get sued and then made the movie a couple years before yeah. Well clearly this pilot was written years before high noon and then the movie got made based on this same idea and then they said oh yeah let's use this for Bonanza to get rid of the the the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's t. It's the the the the the the the the the're good. That's the smartest way to get around being accused of stealing something is go ahead and put it out seven years before

the thing you're stealing. Smart bastards. Well, okay, so now we have a funny little scene where Hoss and the drunk show up to tell Ben everything's gonna be great, even though it's just the two of them. And the lawyer comes up with a beautiful, legalistic way, thi th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's this this the is the, he's this this this this this tell Ben everything's going to be great even though it's just the two of them and the lawyer comes up with a beautiful legalistic way he manages to figure out a way to not lie but make Ben believe that the whole town is gearing up to fight the Morgans. He says something like, everybody's going to do what they said they would or something like that. He's smart that fellow. and so Ben th is th is th th th th thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the. the. the. the. the. like that. He's smart that fellow. And so Ben thinks everybody's coming to his rescue but couldn't be further from the truth. Well then we get to a hoss and the

drunk is setting up all their various little kind of e-walk tricks around town to take down the Morgans. And man, this is one of the best scenes I've ever seen in a television show when you get to see hoss tie a knot I mean they let you see every second of it they don't cut forward at all they don't compress that time one bit and there is not a lick of music to distract you he ties a knot around a barrel or a keg or something like that and there is not a lick of music to distract you. He ties a knot around a barrel or a keg or something like that. And then the drunk buries the rope in the road and you see every second of it.

And then they pull it up like on a pulley up high and you understand that when it comes time, the more, when it comes time for that rope, somebody's gonna have to like manipulate that pulley and that rope that that rope is that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th is going is going th is going to about the up up up up up to about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about about the to about, somebody's going to have to like manipulate that pulley and that rope is going to come up to about eye level. Awesome. Yeah, and that's, go ahead. No, yeah. Well, I think it was meant to be a cast iron stove acting as ballast, but you could clearly see the seams in the plastic where it had been put together during that that really I mean it's

pretty stylish like you're saying the unbroken water of tying that rope to the stove beyond which it looked like it weighed about you know a pound. This director was a visionary in so many ways in fact I'm gonna share my screen here because look at the this composition of Haas here with the... We can put this on our Instagram. There's a sign cut off right next to him here that just says ass. And then look, look at the reflection.

It says, rest a ass. He knows what he's doing, Joseph Kane. Man, well there is a moment where the, when the Morgans ride into town, they ride meaningfully past the Undertaker and Embalmer's storefront. They ride past that, and you really have time to read it. They give you time. Well, shortly after they set up their stove rope gag, that's when Mr. Pryor says, forget it, I'm out.

He chickens out, and he goes to the saloon and he delivers the speech. I have this clip ready to show. You want to see this clip? Yeah. It's a lot. Reason I wanted to show this is because I know that Nick over there will, uh, he's real good at writing speeches and I wanted to say if he, if you ever wrote a speech anywhere as near as good as what this, this drunkard says here in the bar. I'm a deserter just as you are. Oh yeah. Shut up, Prior. Burtender, give me another drink. Help me to drown my soul as my friends have succeeded in doing. The Circes they find in this is only fleeting.

Surcees, you ever hear that word before? I never have. Surceys. And all their tomorrows, they'll awaken to new pangs of conscience. On ABC Family. Why don't you shut up? That's the only thing the guy can think to say to say to say to say to say they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they thine to say to say to say to say to say to say to say they they've they've to say to say to they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they theythe only thing the guy can think to say to him. And you cheered while he died. Well now gentlemen it's you who are the executioners. You're letting good men die when you could save them. You're out there? Why ain't you out there now?

I was afraid. Just like you gentlemen, I was afraid. Just like you, gentlemen, I was afraid. You're hiding, gentlemen. You're hiding from yourselves, and you're running. We'll never be able to stop because you can't hide within yourself. There he goes. And then he grabs a rifle, and nobody knows where he's headed with that rifle. Well did I hear that right? Was he remonstrating the other men for letting him kill a man? He said you let me hound an innocent man to death.

And then it's, am I right that he ripped off Shakespeare somewhere in there? Something about tomorrow and tomorrow. Oh, what do you say, Mutt, I know you've read some Shakespeare. Yeah, but I don't recognize that. Well, let me look it up. What did you say it was? Tomorrow and tomorrow. Well, you said tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

That's the oneorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow. That's the one with all the killing. That's right, yeah, you're absolutely right. It's from Macbeth. Creeps in this petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time. And all our yesterdays have lighted full. That's good. Write that down. Yeah.

Yeah. See that. Shakespeare stole that from Mr. Pryor from Bonanza and he did that by writing it roughly 400 years earlier. So now we know this this pilot existed in the late 1500s at least. Yeah, man, man, oh man. All right well so that's a real good speech and yeah you're right he says you let me I think I actually wrote that down I thought that jumped out of me too. What does he say? You let me howl an innocent man to death.

Yeah, that's a serious accusation. That's the great thing about any of the writing on Bonanza. It can't be used in an actor's monologue. Out of context. Oh yeah, that's right. You try to do that to audition for acting school? They'll say, we just don't understand you. Yeah. It wouldn't happen. So now he takes off and then we see Anne and Ben and the doctor seems to get his nerve back.

Hey, there's a weird little scene here. Did I, did we already pass that by? Uh, where the, the fella, the hardware store, the chipper guy who wants to see some snorting, his wife is basically looking at him like he's a coward and he goes, I'm not afraid and he runs outside like he's gonna join the fight, but then you never see that guy again. He doesn't join the, I don't know where he went. I don't know where he just left home. He just just said just said just said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, he said, I said, he said, I said, I said, I said, he just just just, he just th. He said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I th. He said, I th. He said, I th. He's just th. He's just th. He's just th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He just just just just just just th. He just th. He just just just th. He just th. He just th th th th th th th th th th th thi. He said, he just th thi th th th thi th th thi th thi th thi th thi. He said, he just thi. He said, he just thi. He's just, I'm not afraid and then he just saddled up. That's like the old version of I'm going out to get a pack of cigarettes and you never come home. It's I'm going to join the posse. Oh yeah. Oh, there's a posse. I'm going to join it because I'm not coward. So long, lady. I didn't say which posse. Or whether it had been formed yet. Or ever would. the town to they the the the the they they they they they they they the they they they the they they they the they they they they they the the they to be to be to be to be to be to be to be. to be. to to be. I to be. I was. to be. to be. I was. I was. I was. I was. I'm to to. I was. I was. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to come. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. come the Morgans, they want the town to hand over Ben or they're going to go door to door and shoot everyone there. And that's when the doctor

who has got his nerve back, pulls the rope trick and now they're trapped, they're trapped behind a rope. And Hoss shoots off one of their hats and that's it. Man, now we got a hell of a the the the the the the the the the the their of of their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoomorrow. thoomorrow. thoomorrow. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. tow. tow. towe. towe. towe. towe. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. to. to. to. to. to. tpped, they're trapped behind a rope. And Haas shoots off one of their hats, and that's it, man, now we got a hell of a shootout. And we find out that the drunken prosecutor is up there with his rifle and he kills somebody and then gets killed himself. He falls on a rubber roof. Well in those days they made roofs out of a the window in case somebody was going to fall out of a window. You know, because in those days, they didn't have screens. So the chances of falling out of window was higher and it happened all the time, so the roofs had to be made out of rubber. Yeah, and they thought that when it rains,

is better for the droplets to just bounce back up into the sky. Yep, rather then what, uh, Hoss is firing the people and well now Ben has figured out, hey, they lied to me. I'm in trouble. I better get out of this bed and take my gun with me and do some shooting my damn self. And so he does that and he's a real good shot. And then, oh, Pryor has a little death speech to the whore and he says he says something like hey forgive me for killing your husband and then he expires is that the one you're talking about that it's like he just fell asleep yeah he says some about

you know not feeling his senses anymore he can't feel anger let the anger go it's very philosophical but then I'm certain he does not die but just comfortably falls asleep yeah he goes he goes down for an afternoon nap. Yeah, that'll happen with a drunk. Well now, I believe it's Hauss who kills the second to last Morgan brother, and that's it. Carl Morgan, leader of the Morgan gang is the last one left. And he calls out to Ben Cartwright, face me man to man. And Ben Cartwright, he says to Hoss, who's who's, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's, who's standing, who's standing, who's standing, who's thi, who's thi, who's thi, who's thi, who's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to too too too too too too too too wright, face me man to man. And Ben Cartwright, he says to Hoss,

who's standing next to him that point, he says, smart move, he can't argue, that's a smart move. Draw me out for a man to man shootout. And he can't resist, go to the west. He's got to do it. So here comes. Ben Cartwright. He's been shot through the heart and he is defying doctor's orders moving around out there and it's going to be a gunfight. So now I got to figure out what a second time how to share my screen. You would

think having just done it I might have learned how to do it. Okay. You got you got it? That's that it? That ain't it. That's the one we just saw. Here comes. Ready? Oh yeah, here he is by the rope. It's, it's about, uh, up to his midsection. This is like a little boy going from the shallow end to the deep end of the pool. It's kind of like what's happening here with this rope. Oh boy, steadies himself against a lay of post. And that, look at that shot. That's a classic shot. That's real high new one. Bang!

Ben, guns down, Carl. Here we go. Billy. Oh, Oh, no. What is it about that that bothers me so much? It seems like... He doesn't need... Yeah, diagnose the problem.

You start, Nick. Well, I just... I thought that's when I saw it, that it doesn't look like he's even hurt at all. By the way he talks and raises his head. He doesn't even have a sweat on his brow. He lifts his head and very calmly says those lines, and then very calmly puts his head down. Yeah. I mean, it kind of supports much theory

about falling generally asleep. Yeah, it's like he's been drunk or put sleep with laudanum. But there's a look on his face, and he kind of bobs his head like he's going to collapse. So physically, I like he's going to collapse so physically I believe he's struggling. Vocally I believe he's just fine and living any day as the next, you know. I see what you mean. I don't know what it is. I think he might not be playing the same character anymore. Those lines as well. He seems like it's a it's a different man. Something's going on there but part of the problem I think is that you can't have a body snatch. You can't have a villain

named Carl. That's a good point. Carl is not the scariest name out there is. No. Well and maybe he knew he had everlasting life insurance, which is I'm the district salesperson for the first Where I sell you life insurance that you never stop paying for Even after you die because you don't die. That's the whole thing. Oh, I see it's life insurance for people that believe in eternal life. Yeah, we shall you shall always live. You have to just leave a life insurance. A really big insurance. It never pays out. You shall always live. You have to just leave by- Internal life insurance.

A really big escrow account? Or how's that work? Yes. Wow. I mean, if you believe, if you believe, yeah, yeah, you surrender all your assets over. I never thought about that. From when a Christian buys life, it's hypocritical. You gotta believe, you believe an everlasting life.

Man, I never thought about. So many things I never thought about before in my life. Yeah, you ever see a Christian with a band-aid on it, you know you're dealing with a liar. Yeah, goddamn band-aid we're in Christians. Well, so what do we got here? Now, he's dead. There's something else I was going to say about that, but, oh, yeah, that shot. I don't think we've ever seen that before on Bonanza.

The classic holster height, uh, shot down at the other guy from the point of view of, like, Ben Cartwright's ass and stare at the sign. Oh, that's what it is. A major, thy's thy's thy's thy. thy. thy. thy. thy. thy. thi s s symbol. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeat's theat's theat's theat. theateat. theeatea. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's what it is. Ass is a major, major symbol of this episode. I think you're right. And that's it, he's dead. And that's when the cowards all stream out of the bar. They don't know what to say. And they just kind of sheepishly hit on home.

And Ben's kind of last reminds him of the people who did come to his aid and he says, yep, there are men who do as much as they can makes up for the rest and that's we're left with that thought and that's it. That's the end of that episode. Holy shit! That was, that was one of the better ones. Yeah. Powerful. It was powerful. that was they. the that was the th. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. thi. that. tho. the the the the the the the that was, that was, that was, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. that's. that's. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoooooooooooooo. the. the. think it was similar in some ways to Magnificent 7? And did you see that, did you feel that way? I mean, just because you got a little bit of mission prep where they're setting up a rope and all that kind of stuff where the bandits are going to come to town. But I think, I think Nick's right that it's a little bit more high noon there. But maybe it's just a happy blend. Yeah, I think it goes from Magnificent 7 to the high noon in like the last five minutes.

Yeah, and we should mention that this is a rare episode. We got to put it on the board of a woman character who does not die so far as we know. She was alive at the one. Well, maybe we can assume not, even though we didn't see her death. A stray bullet took her. Yeah, I just assume she was a goner. This episode is all about cowardice and that's what, um, what's important is you start a savings account so that if ever you don't want to do something because you're afraid of risking your life, you've got money to throw at it. That's a good idea. Just like Rich, the guy. Just like Mr. Martin there in the hardware store.

Is that what you're saying? I don't want to be, yes. I don't want to be in this place. I'm going to throw somebody at it. The best part too is that the money he was throwing was money that the past. He wasn't even coughing up any money of his own. He's saying, I'm not going to risk my life for that guy, but I'll give him back some of the money he gave me that I've been sitting on here in my cash register all this time. What town was this, by the way? I think it must have been Virginia City, right? Really? You don't think? I know, maybe. I just didn't hear him mention it. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. the money. th. the money. th. the money. th. th. the money. th. th. I th. he he thi. I th. I he he thi. I he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. I he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's t. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. this town. And I thought, well, that's a fair point. You know what I mean? The Cartwright don't actually live in Virginia City.

But what are the rules there, then? Like, Ben's not from this town, so we don't need to stand up with him. But the bandits are from this town, so we got to let them do what they want. Didn't they say some early in the episode that like these guys rob this town all the time or something? That's true. Ben said, you know, maybe it's a blessing in disguise that the Morgans are riding into town because they've been terrorizing this town for a long time. It's funny too that everybody is so scared of the Morgan's, but when it comes down to it, it's just two guys, one of whom has been shot through the heart that take out the whole gang. Right?

And a rope. Yeah, and a rope. It seems like maybe it wouldn't have been that hard to have done at any other time in the past. I don't know. Yeah. What, what were you going to say there, Amy? Especially when you have a gun and that's for, you know, like a family gun. Yeah, well, Carbrights have a lot of family guns. What are you going to say there, Nick?

Yeah, he's waving me off. Never mind. Well, all right. That's season one episode 13, Vendetta. And now, guys, it breaks my heart every time I have to say this, but there is only 418 episodes of Benam's left for us to discuss on this podcast. I don't, it's coming too soon. The end is coming too damn soon.

Yeah, it's like when you get to the end of the Bible Bible.... the the the the the th. the the th. the the the th. to say the the th. the th. to say th. th. I th. I thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's to. I's to. I to. I's th. I's th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. thean. toean. toean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. the. too soon. The end is coming too damn soon. Yeah. It's like when you get to the end of the Bible, you just say, when's the next part coming? Yeah. Bible 2. Yeah. Yeah. It's in deadline. the Bible 2 is coming out? Yeah, the book of Jesus. Fantastic. Well, Nick, we can't thank you enough for being here. Is there anything you want to plug or tell us about that's coming up we can watch for or something? You know what I mean. Um, no. No. Yeah, I don't like to advertise writing.

So. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to advertise writing. So. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. What do you, what do you got playing for later the day? Just to get back to drinking? Yeah, I'll probably get back to drinking. I've been, I've actually been writing a, fuck. I've been manipulating the alphabet towards a podcast since everything's been so, you know,

shut down. I don't know why. This is basically all year. So I was figuring if I manipulated the alphabet for something that just took people talking into microphones, there might be some money in that. Well, I don't know about money, but it's something to do. Yeah. Keep you busy.

Oh, you know this is making a shit ton of money. Yeah, they just ain't giving it to us. But no, I don't know. It's a podcasting is the get rich slow scheme. But all right, anything you want they're they they they they they they to, anything. Anything, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to to us. But no, I don't know. You know, it's a podcasting is the get rich slow scheme. But all right, anything you wanna plug there, Mutt Taylor? No, I just been up here at the shipping container at the North Shore in Nevada. And I've been doing a little Whitland,

you know where you just carve things with a pocket knife. Yeah, that's it. Okay, good. All right, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. to to to too. thi. to tooom. too, too, too, that's. that's. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the they. they. they. they. today. they. they. that. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. All right, so look out for that folks, but tellers Whitland. How about you Amy Sleverson? My Bible will be coming out this Sunday. I just have to do a search word search and find and replace a bunch of the names for and I'm just going to change every name to Diane. What a great idea. See if you keep the numbers out of the bottom corner of the pages. See if you can do it. Yeah. Yeah. Furiating. It's all wrong. Simple. Yeah. All right folks. Well next time you listen to this podcast we'll be talking about episode 14 because it's the one that comes after 13. All right, folks, thanks so much for checking it out.

So long! Wow! the bananas for bananas, brought to you by Andy Daly. With Maria Bamflet and Matt Corley. Theme song by Matt Corley, with the German. Which in this case are Mark McConville, Daniel Mutchikoff, and Wayne Ryan. Special thanks to our gang on the ground, Josh Richmond and Shannon Long. Bananas for Bonanza is produced by Ryan Connor and Matt Gorley and executive produced by Colin Anderson and Chris Beck.

We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time. Academy Award Helly Bury. One touch the Academy Award winner, Helly Berry. One touch without a robot is all in thanks. Say it.

Never let go. Never let go. We're. Say it! Never let go. We're the world now. Never let go. In the theater September 20th.