Bonanas for Bonanza - Re-Release: Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #5: “Enter Mark Twain”

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDalyDalton's old pal Bartleby Mulcahy (Sean Conroy) returns this week! Find out why Bartleby has taken up sand painting, why Amy believes the Ponderosa is like the state of Israel, and why Dalton is covered in blood. Then the crew recaps season 1, episode 5 of Bonanza, "Enter Mark Twain”. Stick around until the very end to discover which mysterious writer this episode is about!Release date: May 25, 2020Merch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Academy Award winner Helly Berry. One touch without a robot is all in text. Say it. Never let go. We're the world now. Never let go. In theater September 20th. You're about to listen to Bananas for Bonanza episode 5, which was originally released on May 25, 2020.

This is Andy Daly. Hello. Here on this free feed I'll be re-releasing all the back episodes of Bananas for Bananza one every other week. If you want to hear new episodes, add free, please subscribe to my Patreon at Patreon. atron.com slash Andy Daily. The entire Bananas for Bananza Archive is also waiting for you there, and you can access lots and lots of bonus content. So do that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thee thi thi thee thee thee the thee thee thee thee thee the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the. the. the. to to thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe. the. th lots and lots of bonus content. So get your great outdoors inside, take some ponderosa pride and forever make it. Right. I'm bananas for bananas. Yeah!

Yeah. Yeah. I'm bananas for bonanza. Yeh! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! There he goes. Fire those pistols into the air there, mutt. I got no ceiling left.

I know, I am worried about your ceiling. Is it just, you can just see the night sky through there at this point, huh? There's literally a hole for every star in the sky, perfectly placed, and I can just look at the constellations the constell the constell the constell through through the constell through through the the the through the the through there at this point, huh? There's literally a hole for every star in the sky, perfectly placed, and I can just look at the constellations through the Swiss cheese of my ceiling. Beautiful, what a great idea. Well folks, my internet connection is unstable, but I am perfectly stable, and we're gonna soldier on through it, folks. I gotta say, what I say at the beginning of this show every time. Hello friend, come on in. The gate is open wide.

And that's from the lyrics to the theme song of Bonanza, which as well, I believe, have established previously, those lyrics was written to match a song that had already been written, and therefore it's, it's difficult. It's a hard, it was hard, it sounds like it was hard work. That's what I'm saying. Folks, welcome to Bananas for Bananza with Dalton Wilcox. That's me, I'm Dalton Wilcox. I'm a real working cowboy. I am the poet laureate of the West

and our nation's foremost collector and wisdom of the West. This is episode five and episode of of Bananas for Bonanza, in which we will be discussing season one, episode five of the greatest television show in the 200 year history of televised entertainment. Man, oh man, this is a good one. It's a funny one, and it is a historically portentous one. This episode is titled Enter Mark Twain, in which a mysterious writer blows into Virginia City, and we don't find out until the very end who he actually is. And it turns out to be a very famous writer indeed. And just like Bonanza, we are going to try not to spill the beans about who this writer is until we get to the end so you can enjoy the experience of this episode as was meant to me. Here to discuss this episode episode this Twain with me will be. Well we're going to be introducing a wonderful

guest in a bit but first my esteemed co-hosts from the Journeyman Country Music Legend Mr. Mutt Taylor and from Lots Daughters dot com Christian Entrepreneur and Bonanza Super fan Mrs. Amy Sleverson. Enter Mut Taylor hell. Christian entrepreneur and Bonanza superfan, Mrs. Amy Sleverson. Enter Mutt Taylor, hell. And I wanted to tell you guys that I start, as a result of this episode, I started my own blog. Oh, no, oh, you did. Yes. And it's, um, it's because I've been, um, a lot of times Iimes I listen for God's messages to me and I started getting messages from Michael Landon. And I'm getting, he's channeling message, so I'm just letting him right through me.

Oh, is he doing like an information super highway to heaven where he'll email you or something like that? No, no, no, no, I just, I justtype and it's crazy because usually I only I don't type very well, but this with Michael at the helm. I just it's like 50 words per minute and only 75% accuracy. Oh, Michael at the helm. That would be a, that'd be a good TV show. Yeah, he was a. And he loved my, my product line. Oh, he does.

Oh, he does. Could be a submarine movie. Yeah. Or a TV show. Now Michael Land, he played an angel on that highway to heaven, did he not? He sure did. Yes. Yes. And so do you believe that is that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that that, that that, that that that that that would that that that that would that would be that would be that would be that would be that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that would that, that that that that that that that that would that that that that that would that that that that that that that that that that to be to be to be to be to be to be that that to be that that to be that that that that would be that that that that that would be an angel on that highway to heaven, did he not? He sure did. Yes, yes. And so do you believe that is the reason that he is able to communicate with you from the bound?

For sure. And that's why he's given such a small role in most of the episodes on Bonanza because of his humility. And you don't know that he's the son of God. And, but you find, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to find, to find, to find, to find, to find, to find, to find, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to, to, to, too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too of God, but you're going to find out. Folks, you heard it here first. Michael Landon is the Son of God. That's big news. We just made news on this podcast. This is like a reboot of Highway to Heaven where you're like Victor French,

the earthbound sort of interpreter for the angel, Michael Lennon, and that's a heavy responsibility. How are you dealing with that? Well, I just think it's all about, you know, am I being a hashtag girl boss and just getting out there and, you know, the Ponderosa, which is the state of Israel, and the surrounding tribes of Virginia City and Carson City, those, I just need to spread the word. All right, well, good. Now, guys, we should say a little bit, just a little bit of housekeeping and whatnot,

that we recorded the first couple episodes of this podcast a while ago, back when people was meeting face to face. And now it's been quite a long time. This two episodes have aired already, and now we are recording the third. I want to ask you guys, how your lives have changed since you've become tremendous podcast superstars as as have I. Have you have people been recognizing your voice and and coming around your house to try and get your autograph and whatnot? Oh sure you know I can't walk the streets pretty much anymore and when they say shelter at home

we know that I live in the tractor trailer of my big rig so I can take my home anywhere I want I've somehow gamed the system's a bit of a loophole. I have to say I'm not complaining. So that's a good idea. I didn't think of that shelter at home, but bring your home with you like the tortoise. Absolutely. And shoot holes in your ceiling. Now, I went into a B. Dalton, as we talk about quite a bit on the show, just to order up myself. I picked up Joel Osteen's, A Ass Full of Champagne and Not a Cork in sight, his book on the Prosperity

Gospel. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. It's so good. the ti. that's a full of champagne and not a cork in sight? Yeah, it's on its way, let me tell you that much. That's a good title, but it's a little too short for my man. I know what you said. I thought about that when I saw it. And so I says to the cashier gal there at the counter, can I, can I,utt Taylor from that Bananas for Bananza podcast. That was really. Oh, yeah. That is fantastic. Yeah.

How about you, Amy? Have you noticed people? My husband signed up to be in my down line. So he's selling products to. Hey, all right. We have a new one. It's a, it's a teared necklace that you give to your loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved loved one one new one. It's called, it's a tiered necklace that you give to your loved one, your wife. So when she's on her, when she's in her unclean state, you don't, you keep a distance and don't try to touch her. So this is a necklace that she only wears when she's in her unclean state.

She just puts it on. And then you see her and you know. It's gorgeous. It's gorgeous. It's brass brass. ths ths ths that's that's brass. She's brass. She's brass. She's brass. She's brass. She's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. She's th. She's to to to to to to to to toa. She's toa. She's toa. She's to toa. She's to to to to to to to to to to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to your to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their tie. tie. tie. their loved their loved their loved their their loved their loved their their to your loved to your loved to your loved to toe. She just puts it on. Yes, yes. And you see her and you know. It's gorgeous. It's brass with satin gold overlay, nickel-free, made in China. Oh, beautiful. We should explain you've got a multi-level marketing operation there where you sell Bible-themed home goods and whatnot. It's lesser known quotes from the Bible just because some of the more popular ones are I assume are copyrighted by my mega church because they have a gift shop and I just don't want to get in trouble yeah so you've gone down to the lesser known quotes but it's all still Bible stuff it's all equally good equally the word of God on my on my two-tiered necklace is from Leviticus thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover to a the the to a to a to a to to the to to the to the to the to to the the the to to the to the the to to the to the the to the to to to uncover to uncover to uncover to uncover to uncover to uncover to the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ti. the ti. the the ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. today. the to to the the the the the ti. On my two-tiered necklace is from Leviticus, thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover

her nakedness as long as she has put apart for her uncleanliness and that's when you have your period. And it's written, it's real small but the detail work. Yeah, I'm sure. So can you, you can take a woman's nakedness as long as she's clean. Is that what it's saying? Well?? to to to to to to? Well. Well? Well? Well, well? Well, well? Well, well? Well, well, to to to the to the to the the to the the the to a w w w wa, to a wa, the wo, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, to a woman, the the the the the the the the the thi, the thi, thi, thi, the, the? theea, thea, thea? thea? thea? thea? thea. thea. thea, thea, thea, thea,, so can you, you can take a woman's nakedness as long as she's clean. Is that what it says? Well, you should not, no, you shall not approach unto a woman to uncover her nakedness as long as she is put apart for her.

And it's a little unclear, but I just wear it all the time just to be sure. Yeah. Put apart for her uncleannliness. That is a, that's a lovely. little unclear, but I just wear it all the time just to be sure. Yeah, put apart for her uncleanliness. That is a, that's a lovely way to put it. Well, I'm gonna ask that of my female companions. It's not nice. And I mean, it's not necessarily for the same Bible quote, but, um, it's for one of the chapters from the apocalypse for the same Bible quote, but it's for one of the chapters from the apocalypse, for the revelations, the 22nd book of Revelations were the seven-headed drag. I didn't realize it went into 22 books. Oh yeah, 22 chapters. 22 chapters of revelations. And I have a pillow. It's a throw pillow and it has 18 in square. It includes the pillow insert.

And you can sit on that when you're when you're uncleaned. Wow. 22 chapters that's almost as much as a Tom Clancy so maybe I should start reading these. Sounds pretty good. Oh, there's so I mean there's just twists turns. You don't know which way it's going to end up. I think you've got a good, you got a good marketing slogan you just stumbled upon there. That's right. You can sit on that. I like that. And you can.

Yeah. Hey. Hey, Fonzie. Hey, sit on it. Yeah, right. He was a devout Christian. Yeah. Fonzie was. Are you saying Fonzie or Winkler? Both. Okay, yeah, I agree with that.

He had magical powers just like Jesus, too, by the way. Yeah, they used to tell one another to sit on it on that show. I don't want to get too far too too too too far too too too to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing tooing too. tooan too. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to their to to their to their their to the the the thooan. the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to but I recently told somebody to, I told him, up your nose with a rubber hose. And it was, he took it terribly and we had an awful route. Hey, no. Anyways, oh, by the way, before we introduce our guests, I just want to apologize to you guys that I am covered in blood. I wondered. Very polite of you not to mention, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say, I, I, I to say told, I'm told, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was. told. told. told. told. told. to to to to to to to to to to to to told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told, I'm told, I'm told, I'm told, I was, I was, I was, I was toto apologize to you guys that I am covered in blood. I wondered.

Very polite of you not to mention, we're seeing one another over the computer. And I am, I've got blood on my hat, not my best, and on my shirt. Everything's okay. I thought you were trans-substantiating. Yeah, I wasn't gonna try to uncover your nakedness. Let me tell you that, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, th. to, to, to going to try to uncover your nakedness. Let me tell you that, my mind. Right, right. No, no, no, but the good news is I got internet at the house finally.

Oh, here at the ranch. So now I'm at my ranch outside of Tombstone, Arizona. And it's, everything is fine now. Now, do you have internet, but the fellow who put it in, turned out to be a mummy the the the m mummy the m mummy the m mummy the m mummy the m mummy the m mummy the m mummy the m mummy the m mummy the m mummy the m mummy to be to be the m mummy the m mummy to be to be a mummy to be the m mummy, and to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the the the the the the the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, and the house, and the house, and the the the the the th.. the. the. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. the theat, the the the the theat,that always the way. Oh no. He turned out to be a mummy talking about, oh we're going to invoice you and all this stuff. Oh no. Geez. Now how did you know it was a mummy?

He had some toilet paper hanging out the back of his trousers or what? No, sir. I mean I wish it was that easy. that the way. I was the way. I was they they they they was. I they they they they they they they they'd the way. I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I was. I wish I wish I was. I wish it was. I wish it was. I wish it was. I wish it was. I wish it was. I was. I wish it was. I wish it was. You they'd. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You know. You know. You know, I wish. You know, I wish. You know, I wish. You know, I wish. I wish it. I wish it was the way. I wish it was. I wish. I wish it was. I wish it was the way. I wish. I was. I was. I was. I was the way they depict mummies in the movies, they're all wrapped up and bandages and whatnot, but, you know, this fellow just came to me in the uniform of the cable company. And that's all, he just looked to all the world like a cable man and installed cable just like a cable man. That's when you know. Yeah. Well, that started, that began my concerns. I says, he's almost too good. And, and almost, and almost, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, to, the, the, the, th. the, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, they. And, they. they. they.a, they.a, they.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. the.a, the. the. the. the. he's almost too good. This all changed with the, like a cable man.

With the Brendan Frazier mummies, because they ain't come wrapped in bandages or toilet paper and whatnot. They come, you know, as a scare of beetle or just a normal looking man, like Arnold Voslu, the actor who played the mummy. I'm big into that film because it's a lot in desert. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right. Yeah. It does have guns. Well, I had to dispatch with that mummy and that was a difficult way to start my morning. Uh,

but I'll tell you he was a great cable installer. All right. Well, let us introduce our guest, ladies. Oh, by the way, Brian, Brian, if you're on, you're gonna need to edit out all that stuff about the mummy, because as I've said on this podcast podcast this need to edit out all that stuff about the mummy because as I've said on this podcast many times, Earwolf and Stitchers has made it clear to me that this is a podcast about Bonanza and never about monster slaughtering. Oh, by the way, hey Brian, I don't know if he's on there. But I don't believe they edited that, I am talking about killing monsters. I think that was supposed to have been edited out. You don't suppose Brian's a monster.

Oh my gosh. I haven't even begun to contemplate Brian's various agenda. I am concerned about it. Believe me, keep an eye on him. Even though I've never seen him in real life. He's just a box with his name in it on the computers. Anyways, yeah, we're on the computers now and I'm dying to find out how this fella got his hands on a computer to join us. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome. This is a real thrill for me. This is another time we get to have a dear, dear friend on the show, just like Russell Shat. But this is very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very th. This is very th. This is very th. thi thi. thi. this is a very thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, uh, uh, the the the their their their their, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, the the they, they, they, they, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. their, their, their on the show, just like Russell Shat.

But this is very exciting, ladies and gentlemen. This fella is a real working cowboy. Goes back to the old days of the cattle drive across the wagon trails, this old fella. He is known as the grandfather of cowboy poetry. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Barrow B. B. B. O. Hey, there. Hey there. How are you. Nice to see. to see. to see. to see. to see. to see. to see. to see. to see. to see. to see. to see. to see. to see. to, hey there. How are you? Nice to see you. Or such as it is. Such as it is.

Yeah, Marlbilly. Barney, where are you? I wish we could be face to face, but they've, they say there's at least a million of these coronaviruses. Yeah, everybody says, everybody says we need to be practicing social distancing. I say I've been doing that ever since my parents kicked me out 76 years ago. Oh my goodness. You've been you've been a lone wolf. Just up here in the mountains, you know, a lone wolf ever since. Just up here in the mountains, you know?

Well, not right now per se, but you know. You come down from the mountains. Yes, I'm in a local motel. I don't know how many they are, but this one's the sixth one. Does it just say motel on it? Motel number six. Oh, oh, I see haha Motel six. It's motel six. Wait I don't get. Yeah there's I don't get what's that? Well there's there's a there's thousands of

motels and this is the sixth one. Okay I see okay. Yeah it's the sixth of all the motels. Yeah. Yeah. It's the sixth of all the motels. I guess, that's interesting. Well, that sounds historic. So, uh, Bartleby, you're down there using their Wi-Fi. I was gonna ask, how come your parents kicked you out? This isn't that kind of podcast where we go in depth into your past life, but I'm, yeah, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. that's. that's. that's. that's.. that's that's that's that's that's that's th.... that's th. th. th. the the the the the thi. the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's interesting. th. that's interesting. that's interesting, that's interesting. that's interesting. that's interesting. that's interesting. that's that's yeah, that piqued my curiosity. Well, they didn't give me a lot of reasons, but it was my, it was my seventh birthday. Oh, I see. And they, they said, good luck.

And they gave me a folding knife, and off I went. Did you have the mark of the demon? I don't think so. If I did, I never saw it. Oh. Well, this, they have great cereal and great quassons here in the in the Wi-Fi room. They got that cereal that comes out of a big plastic bin and open up like a machine. Yeah, you just pull it out and it comes pouring out as much as you want. Then you're okay. You're okay. I filled a couple bags and put them out out of my mules back.

Hot damn. Well, all right Bartleby, so have you been? We haven't talked to you in a while. I'm okay. I'm making my way in the world and I'm trying to use this time to better myself and learn new skills, you know, I want to come out of this time with something new in my life. Oh really? Okay, well now you're, we just determined you're 83 years old. Yeah. They kicked you out when you were seven, that was 76 years ago.

So I guess the question is, can you teach an old dog do tricks, that's what you're trying trying to answer learn learn learn learn learn learn learn learn learn learn learn learn learn learn the to learn to learn their to learn their to learn to learn to learn their to learn to learn to learn to learn to learn their the question is, can you teach an old dog do tricks? That's what you're trying to answer for yourself. What kind of tricks you're trying to learn? Well, I've been working on my sand painting. Are you familiar? Yeah, I'm familiar with sand painting. Hell no. Well, what is it?

Take a couple of panes some needles and you make a painting in there with the sand depending on what colors it is and how you can draw the sand out and so forth so I mostly paint birds against the sunset. You could have that made in China instead. Oh yeah well, I guess I could but then what would I be learning? Well, you'd be learning how to have gatherings and then you could do multiple productions of them and then people would be spreading, spreading more of what you made. Oh, maybe I will. You'd be learning importing. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh. Yeah, Barnaby, I thought you was going to tell me that you're, you know, learning hatchet throwing or how to hog tie different kinds of animals you never hogttie before or trick shots with a pistol or something like that. The idea of you sitting up there in the mountains moving sand around with a needle breaks my heart. Well, you get to a certain point in life and you wonder, what's my legacy? So, sand, what's your legacy? What's your legacy? I don't know, Bartleby.

I think your legacy is cowboy poetry. Oh, right, that too. Personally, you've written some real, you've written some corkers. Tell us just the titles of some of your, some of your most famous cowboy poems. You remember any of your real family? People could look more. Well, you could always, one of the early ones I had published was, there goes a cactus and there goes you.

And then another one was, look out below, you might twist your ankle. Yep. Yep, I remember that one that was a great one that was all about just walking amongst rocks. Yeah I mean you never know because you lose your foot and out here and you fall and you sprain your ankle and all of a sudden you're starving to death and nobody knows it because nobody cares. Yep. Nobody cares.

Nobody knew you were going into the desert. Nobody's waiting for you to come back. But you're just being tested. You're just being tested by God if anything bad happens, he'll come get you at some point, but sometimes it's not until you're dead. Well, that, oh. There's a great many cowboys, I'd say probably a couple thousand a year who die of a simple spring. Yes, it's a common problem in the cowboy life. Yes.

Yep. Sprain your ankle walking on a rock and then that's it. You just fall to the ground and you'll be starved to death within an hour. It's three, it's second on the list. It's the list. It's the list. It's the list. It's the list. It's the list. It's to to to the to get. It's to get. It's to get. It's to get. It's to get. It's to get. It's to get. It's to get. It's to get. It's to get. It's to get. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's to. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the just fall to the ground and you'll be starved to death within an hour. It's three, it's second on the list of deaths in the cowboy community. What's the first? Snake bites, sprained ankles and insurance fraud. Oh God. Yeah, I lost a good deal of friends to insurance fraud. Yeah. Yeah.

I haven't figured out how it works, but I hate you can make a lot of money. Do they get aluminum siding put in when they don't need it? I haven't heard that scam before, but I could see how that would be. Alumining. You're saying aluminum siding, unnecessary aluminum siding on the side of your house. It's insurance for something that happens. Yeah, that you. Yeah, you lie and you say that your house is unstable when in fact it's brick.

And brick doesn't chip. Oh yeah. And then, well I've got, I've got, I've got, obviously it's a wood frame, and then it's brick, and then I've got five, six, seven, eight layers of aluminum siding on there. And it's gonna be another three months before I need to put another layer of aluminum siding on top of the, yeah, you all know I live in my tractor soiler, so I put aluminum siding around the entire thing, including the windfield.

I live outdoors. You've got to. But given the choice between exposed brick and aluminum sadden, I would say aesthetically, the aluminum saden makes much more sense. It's classy. Nobody wants to look at that ugly brick. Yes. Hideousious, goddame bricks. Are you living outside now? I don't think I realize that. You don't have a structure?

Not the less I built one for the night, in which case it's mostly gone by morning. What do you build your structures out of, then they don't last a whole night? Whatever materials I have at hand, whether it be scrub brush, tarpaulins that I brought from some local store, or maybe a couple of leaves in my old trusty blanket. Well, are you still using that folding knife your parents gave you when they kicked you out? Yes, I am. It doesn't fold anymore. That's a real man. No, oh no. Is it stuck? I guess it's stuck open. No, it's stuck closed. Oh, what do you use it for? Mostly holding things down. Uh-huh. So like paperweight? Like a Payute dead fall off. Oh, yeah? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. That's th. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. thi. thi. th. thi thi thi th. thi th. thi a Puyot deadfall. Oh, yeah. Of course.

Oh, oh, old Payutes. Yeah. Well, that she's making reference to the last episode of Bonanza that we covered on this show. The Payute War. That was a good one. Man, did we get to see some Indians die in that one. Sorry, the day of American sav-Aa. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the tooomea. tooomeathea. tooom. tooomeathea. tooos. tooos. tooos. tooos. tooos. tooos. tooos. tooos. tooes. tooes. tooes. too. too. too. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the to. Oh. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the guns of the white man. And this episode, should we start talking about?

Enter Mark Twain. This one aired on, uh, was it, October the 10th of 1959? Do you remember where you were, Bartleby on that day? You're an old man. I believe I was somewhere in the eastern Sierra since that's mostly where I've been all this time. Pretty much all your life must have been out there. Well this is a great episode. Did you watch Bonanza when it was on there Barton. I didn't have a television. I went to one taping. What? You got paid? You got paid. I got paid.

Yeah, they tried to do a live studio audience and they paid us 75 macaroni's to sit and laugh when it was appropriate. But tonally they felt it was off so they never aired that episode. That's right now I heard about that. They'd set up bleachers outside and they had a warm-up cowboy come out before the show. Yeah, he would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would they would their they'd they'd they'd they'd their their their their their th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they try. I try. I try. I try. I try. I try. I try. I'd set up bleachers outside and they had a warm-up cowboy come out before the show. Yeah, he would do rope tricks and play his harmonica. Did they have a horse audience to a horse to watch so they can enjoy that horses? It was near the corral, but some of the horses, I have to say had a hard time paying attention. But that cowboy got everybody riled up. He would stand up there in their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their trick trick trick trick trick trick trick trick trick trick tricks. He would do tricks. He would do tricks. He would would would do tricks. He would would would do tricks. He would would tricks. He tricks. He tricks. He tricks. He tricks. He tricks. He tr. He tr. He tr. He tr. He tr. He tr. He tr. He tr. He tr. He tr. He their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tre. He would do tre. He would do te. He would do te. He would do te. He would would do te. He would would would do true true true tre. He would would tre. He would tre. had a hard time paying attention. But that cowboy got everybody riled up.

He would stand up there in the stands and say, who wants beans? Who can sing, who can sing Skip to Maloo the best? I bet he was funny than anything on the show. He was pretty funny. If you can sing Skip to Maloo the best at everybody the audience you got a can of beans? Yeah yeah it was a competition. He'd shoot that can of beans with a can of beans cannon right? Yes yes he would stand down front and he would crank up the old bean cannon and then you'd open your mouth

and he'd pour the beans into the cannon and fire those beans right into somebody's mouth. Oh it was fun. Wow I got a can of beans cannon to the cannon. I only use it when the sheriff comes around. I just, okay I keep it up in the turret up in the ranch and I just fire cans. to the cans. It sounds like this fellow was just firing the beams. Well the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. Okay. Okay. Okay. I the thoes. I thoes. I'll thoes. I'll thoes. I'll the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theyau.eau.eau.eau.eau.eau.eau.ea.ean.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea. Ie fire cans of beans but I fire the cans it sounds like this fellow just firing the beans. Well the velocity at which those cans would have traveled he could have taken somebody's head off. But that's why it's beside a waiver. Yes well as it was just firing the beans the guy next to me got his cheek ripped out.

Oh man. Are they cooked beans or they... how about having to me got his cheek ripped out. Oh man. Cooked beans or they... How about having to... They were canned. So it could go either way. They were... Can baked beans maybe? Can you imagine having to say that for the rest of your life?

I had it ripped off at a live taping of Bonanza when the warm-up cowboy shot beans out of a cannon. Yeah, man. That's a good introductory story. People would think you were quite a character. I suppose so. I don't know. I might come up with a convenient lie that just takes a less time to explain. Like, for instance,, I thought I was chewing on, chewing tobacco, it turned out to be dynamite. End of conversation.

Fairness. It just, it raises fewer questions. That's what you should never ask questions in the city. And that was the mean lesson of the episode is that if you go to Virginia City, don't ask, don't ask, don't tell. Don't, do you know? Oh yeah. That's a- Keep it yourself. Keep it to yourself. Yeah. You're making a good transition into this episode.

Because that's just what happens in the very first scene of this episode in Intermark Twena. A fellow shows up in Virginia City and starts, to to to to to to the to the to the to to the to the to to the tov. tov. to v v v v v. tov. tova. tova. tova. tovue. tovue. tovue. tovvue. the the the tovue. Don't tovvvvvvvvvahvvah. Don't ask tovvvvvva. Don't ask tov. Don't ask tov. Don't ask. Don't tov. Don't thiiiii. Don't thii. Don't th. thii. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thea. thea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toethe very first scene of this episode and intermarked twain. A fella shows up in Virginia City and starts talking to the marshal and he's asking where's the newspaper and he's a real outgoing friendly charmine fellow and the marshal tells them people around here mine their own business. Don't ask questions. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And the little Joe is in a fight at the bucket of blood saloon and he keeps rolling out and it's a boy it's an active scene.

It's a whimsical scene, you see little Joe in a fight there rolling out onto the road. Well, he refused to give up. He kept, he kept going back in there to try to take those fellas down whatever they were saying to them and then they would throw him out and he'd go back in and back out and in and out. Nothing better than the little of the old in and out. Violence is so pretty sometimes. And it's a real lesson of this episode that violence works because Adam just straight up punches Josh or Samuel Clemens or whatever that fellow's name is. I never was clear

and he got him to change his mind so it's a good reminder that violence solves everything. It sure does it sure does and and we're gonna you know what I'm realizing somehow somehow we managed to, damn it we managed to do half of this podcast already and we didn't even start hardly talking about the episode. This is a real problem guys. We got to have more. Maybe we should say we're going to go ahead. Yeah. That we that we say a prayer. We ask for Jesus Christ to direct our thoughts that we stay focused on Bonanza. Yeah, okay. Next in the next episode of this we're going to get we're not going to talk about anything. We're going to say.. We're, we, we say say say say say say say. We're, we, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, we're going to say, we're going to say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say. We're to say. We're going to say. We're going to say. We're going to say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, we're going, we're going, we're going to say, we're going, we're going to say, we're going, we're going to say, we're going to say, we're going to say, we're going to say, we're going to say, we're going to say, we're Next, in the next episode of this, we're gonna get, we're not gonna talk about anything. We're gonna say, bang, scene one,

and we're gonna just devote all the time. But that, we've squandered. Anyways, point of the battery is we gotta take a quick break. So we're gonna take a break and when we come back, already, I just, I feel that that that th, I that th, I th, I that th, I th, I'm that th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to feel that way too. We're gonna take quick break and when we come back we're not going to waste any damn time we're going to talk about episode five season one banana enter Mark Twain so listen to these commercials buy these products and come on back. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Academy Award winner, Hellyberry. One touch. One touch without a robot is all in takes. Say it. Never let go. Academy Award winner Helly Berry. One touch without a robot is all in takes. Say it. Never let go. We're the world now.

Never let go. In theater September 20th. All right, welcome back to Bananas for Bananza. I don't know how you spent that commercial break, but we spent it praying. Thank you, Amy Slaverson. She led us into prayer to give us the strength to next time start talking about the episode sooner and it's worth mentioning that it's 12 hours later. That was a long prayer. Oh yeah, that was a, hopefully they'll let it down the commercial break so it's not 12 hours but we did take it. That was a 12-hour plan. How are you holding up? They're out of cereal. Oh, they're out of cereal now at the sixth motel. Well, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their. That's their. That's their. That's their. That's their. That's. That's 12. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the 12. the 12. the 12. the 12. the 12. the 12. the 12. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. 12. th. 12. 12. th. 12. th. th. 12. th. motel. Well, that's too bad. All right. Yes, did you have something to say there? Sorry, I went a little long. I just, I think I had too

much of my, I also, one of the products I sell is canned communion wine. It's the trans-stantiated blood of Christ. And once you have, it's pretty high, it's the trans substantiated blood of Christ. And what you have, it's pretty high, it's 19% alcohol. So, I think I'm a little lantern. Oh, I didn't realize you. I didn't realize you was drunk on Jesus. But all right, that makes sense. Man, I can't hold anything now.

I've been anointed with so much oils. I'm very slippery. All right. Well, but Netskaya I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I have I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. I have th. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's the the the th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's pretty. It's. It's. It's. It've been anointed with so much oils. I'm very slippery. All right. Well, but let's get it. I got my notes. I can hold my notes here. Man, I can't believe how much anointing just happened. Over those 12 hours. All right. So anyways, this fella, we understand he's a newspaper writer.

And he is in Virginia city and he's been hired by the newspaper out here, the, what do they call it, the, the territorial, something, he come in to the offices of the newspaper and the fellow's happy to see him, right, because he's heard of them before this, and he tells him his name is Samuel Clemmons, but he's, for some reason he's going to write under the pseudonym Josh, one name he's going to write under, under the name, 't look nothing like the Samuel Clemens we know in love he's dirty and unshaven it looks like a old prospector well he says he's a failed prospector and now he's given up on prospecting and now he's just going to be a newspaper writer but I don't know what you're talking about I never heard him know no no Samuel Clemens I don't know I don't know what you're talking about. I never heard of him know Samuel Clemens. I don't know, I don't know who this fellow is gonna turn out to me.

It's what to call a reach around. What is? When they, when you see it, when you think, you think it's gonna be one thing and it's not. It's something, it's something. Okay. Yeah, I thought this was just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just the the the th. th. th. thuu. thu. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they. It's their their, their, it's what to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that's what to that's what to be what to be what to be what to be what to be what to be what, it's what, it's what. It's what, it's what, it's what. It's what. to be to be to be to be to be to be. to be what. to to to to to to to be what. to to to they. they. too. too. the too. too. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, I thought this was just the story of a fellow named Samuel Clemens who's right, but then they, there's a hell of a twist at the end. All right, so now, uh, after that scene, now we finally get to see Little Joe and Haas, and this is a great scene. They, they, it's very comical. This episode is like, I think it's six different times that the cartwrights have to try and run somebody off of the Ponderosa.

There's so many people hanging out on the Ponderosa in this episode and it's all, generally all four of them get on horse and right out there and go, what are you doing on our land? And I kept thin, I thought they did a good job of emphasizing fire. I thought they did a guy with the fire. I did too. I had that feeling too. I said, look, borrow me more kakees. I thought it was me as well. Maybe it was. Yeah. You were out of taping. Could have been. I saw a soul brother there when I watched it. A soul brother. Well, it happens two times in this episode. This is the first time that the cartwright saying, now make sure to put out your fire.

And then later they say it again, make sure to put out your fire. Now that's two times. So you know fire is important to this episode. And a third event is coming up. I forgot to put my fire out. Next thing I knew 11,000 acres was up in flames. Bartle, but you swore me to secrecy on that a long time ago. And now you're just gonna blab about it. I would have to tole to limitations.

I know the guy that started that. It's the rule of three in Bonanza, just like in the Bible, one, two, and then the kicker. Mm-hmm. That's very important in the Bible and on the Ponderosa. Well, yep, so about this old man, now this old man, before he takes off, he sees somebody, he sees a figure in the woods. And he assumes, like anybody would, that it it it is is is is is is is the spirit, the spirit, the spirit, the spirit, the spirit, the spirit, the spirit, the woods. And he assumes, like anybody would, that it is the spirit of a dead engine. And he goes into town and is that the very next thing

that happens? Oh, we learned at some point, oh, yeah, there's a judge. I forgot to tell you about a judge. We meet a judge and his wife, who was in the chorus of a traveling girlie show. I don't know a lot the course, Ilevision, but I found it strange that this was only episode five of the program and it was a veritable constant parade of new characters. I couldn't tell who the episode was about for the most part. They pretty much kicked off the entire show doing that first episode right out of the episode was about for the most part. They pretty much kicked off the entire show doing that. First episode right out of the gate. We got a nerd.

Yeah. You know, well that was episode three, but it stands. Now this gal, this gal from the girly show, she looked a lot like Sharon Stone, you all notice that? Oh, yeah, I think it was Sharon Stone's grandma. Grandma. And she's got a weird thing where she and her husband will ride into town in a carriage and then he'll go conduct his business and she will sit there in the carriage and stay there in the space. For however long it takes for him to be done. I love that part because I totally relate.

Is that your re- I like to sit in the car because he says I slow things down. She's not. I'll guess you do. She's not allowed to talk to strangers, but she's allowed to have strangers talk to her. Oh, that did seem to be the policy. Now, what else do we learn there? Oh, yeah. Samuel Clemens gets all washed up and he looks like a completely different character. He goes from regular person to dude.

That's what we call that kind of guy. Just all dressed up like a dude. Like you say, hey dude. Yeah. Well now, here's where the real the real plot of this episode takes hold. A lot of it has just been goofing around. But now, Adam rides into the into the ranch house and he says there's some fellas in the high valley and they're all going to ride out and see what they're up to. And this is second instance of trespassers on the Ponderosa in this episode. And they they they they they they right they they they right they they they they they they they they they they they they they th th th th th th th th th th out th th out th out tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the. tho tho thoom. thoom. thoom-a. thoom-a. thoom-a. tho. tho. the. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. the. the. the. the. the. the. to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo to. to. trespassers on the Ponderosa in this episode. They ride out there and these guys are, they've, first I thought they had a camera and they's making a Western movie. Me too. But yeah, we later learn that they are surveyors. They claim to be prospectors. I mean, if that's your cover story,

we're just thinking of mining here on your property. Oh brother, you must be up to something worse. And then at the end of the scene, Adam says, look, they left behind some surveying equipment, which is a piece of wood with some cloth nail to it. I don't know if that counts as equipment. That's how I carry my belongings around. Oh on a bindle sack, do you got got a bindle you got a bindle? I got a piece of wood with a piece of cloth attached to it. Now I would take a piece of wood with a piece of cloth attached to it to be a stake you'd put in the ground as in stake your claim as in I'm a prospector so I'm not sure how they arrived at the logic they got to but you know my hat's off to them. That's a good. the the the their. their. their. to to their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. that. that is. to to to the. to to to to to the. to to to to to to to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the. I's. the te. te. te. te. te. te. te. tode. te. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to off to them. That's a good point. Of course, I thought they might have been the veteran hunters out there with stakes of woods,

and that would have been, I'd like to see that, but evidently their surveyors for the rail company will later learn, but before that, that old man goes into the bucket of blood tavern, and he's talking to Samuel Clemens, Samuel Clements, Samuel Clemens, this newly arrived reporter, and he starts telling him about this engine spirit he saw up on the Ponderosa. And Samuel Clemens, or Josh, as he writes as, he says to himself, well, I think I'm going to write a story about that. He's going to have a lot of fun writing a story about some kind of strange creature

roaming around the lands of the Ponderosa. And then, yep, that happens. And then we got a scene, oh boy. Now this is one of my favorites, because Paul and Adam are up there in the ranch house. And who comes in but our old friend, Hopsing? We haven't seen Hopsing in like three episodes. My goodness, I love Hopsing. I think it is a sensitive and thoughtful portrayal of a Chinaman. And he just comes in and he's always upset. thiiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thozy I love Hopsing. I think it is a sensitive and thoughtful portrayal of a Chinaman.

And he just comes in and he's always upset. HopSing is always comically upset. I love him too because he's really just a double threat. He can't, he can't, he can't, he can't, he's just good for all around entertainment. I never even thought about that. He's named that because he can't, he can't, he come, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. He, to. He, to. He, to. He, to. He's, to. He, to. He's, to. He's, to. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He's. He. He's. He. He. He, he. He. He, he. He, he. He. He, he. He. He, he. He. He. He. He, he. He, he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's, he. He's, he's, he's, he's to. He's to. He's to. He's to. He's to. He's to. He's to. He's to. He's to. He's to. He's to. He's to. He, oh man. Apparently he can't. And what did he come in to see? Because he'd be called. He comes in to say, oh, well, he just comes in with the news that there's all kinds of people gathering on the Ponderosa.

They came up here to see the wild man of Washu, which is what Samuel Clemens interpreted, that old prospectors, citing to be, and to be, and to be, and to be, and th. And, and th. And, th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiolomea, thoom. thi, thi, thiolomea, that, thoomp-a, they. they. they. they. they, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. He, he he he he he he hea, hea, hea, he. He, he. He, he. they. they. they. thi, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's thi. thiolioliolomea. thee. thee. theauuoooooooooombushed. thee. they prospectors citing to be and wrote an article. Now as a monster hunter, how did you take that? Did you think I got to add another sort of creature to my roster? Oh, yeah, ever since I've watched this episode, I have been on the lookout for Wild Man. This guy, he's described as 10 feet tall with a wagon wheel in his mouth. So I haven't seen that. I thought it was interesting that they cut that scene with all the people looking for the wild man.

Because that to me, that scene had a lot of potential. I mean, they kept a scene, they kept a scene where Paul was home. And then two of his boys rode up and then another boy rode up and said let's ride out, which to me didn't seem like a fun scene, but the scene with 500 people looking for a wild man, that's comedy gold. That's comedy gold. Yeah, I wouldn't mind a scene of the search for a wild man on a part of 500. Just who shows up? Who exactly shows up to find a wild man?

Everybody, 500, that sounds like everybody. Fourth and very least comedy silver. That's right. It is speculated to be silver that is under the lands of the Ponderosa all those prospectors want to get their hands on. So you're right to say it would be comedy silver. But that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, who that's that's, that's that's that's that's that's, who that's, who that's, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, who, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th. Who, that's, th. Who, th. Who, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's thi, that's that's that's tho, who's thoooo, who's thooooo, who's their thooooooo to get their hands on. So you're right to say it would be comedy silver. But that's another good point there. But I disagree that it's a problem, Barrowby. I like it when they have these little scenes

where somebody tells you exactly what they're about to do, and then you get to see them do it and it's just no new information, it's doubling up on information. I love him. I'm home too. Let's go somewhere else. Yep, and then you get to watch him. When these fellas ride a horse, the camera lingers on a horse for a long time. Equine pornography.

Uh-huh, slow, steady, supple equine pornography. Yeah, that's the good stuff. Well, now I get to show you the first clip I wanted to show from this episode because Adam gets real pissed off. He goes down to that newspaper. He's going to talk to this Josh fellow about this wild man-Washu article. And he confronts him about it, and he's telling him I'm on a retraction, and Samuel Clemens, Josh fellow is mouthing off to him being a real wise ass, and I'll show you what happens

here. Here we go. Now, I want that retraction tomorrow's newspaper. Well, you're making this a little difficult. You see, the enterprise never apologizes for stories of Prince. It's kind of a policy. I see. Well, maybe I can help change that policy. He punched him right in the face.

Now, you understand about that retraction. You'll get your, you'll get your retraction, Mr. Cartwright. Thank you. You all right, Sam? I kind of like those car. Oh, damn! There is again. Sam. I kind of like those car rides. That is again. Violence solved everything and he made him like him. That's what violence does. Yep. Now that happened in another episode a little while. It's a bit of a theme on Bonanza.

If you want to get somebody to like you in the rough and tumble old west, you got to haul off and punch them in the face. That's right. It works. Amongst real men, that's when you know you can you can like somebody if they punch you in the face. I think it's true for women too. Everyone of my daughters, employees, everyone in my downline, we also do fistfighting. Like a fight club. Yes. Like you just make sure you can handle yourself, an door-to-door sales situation. But you know, with your full force of your arms and legs.

You can also get, you can also get people to lack you if you just give them a reach around. You say something. I like this episode. I've never heard that term before, but it, you know, what I used to do is pretend I was gonna punch somebody and then shake their hand. Oh, yeah. When you, when you think it's one that that, I didn't know that. I that. I that. I to that. I to that. I to to that that to that to to that to to that people that people that people that people that people that people that people that people that people to to to to to to to to to to to to get to to get people to get people to to to to to to to to to to to to get to get to get to get people to get people to get people to get people to get people to get people to get people. You to to to to to to to to to that people that people that people that people that people that people that people that people that people that that that that that that that the people that that that the. You that the. You was going to punch somebody and then shake their hand And when you when you think it's one thing I didn't know that was called a reach around but I used to give fellas a reach around all the time You did huh? Oh, yeah, they called me the reach around king. Yeah, yeah, no, I've heard you refer to you as that and I've generally I've generally defended you. I've generally come to blows over how well instead of coming from coming to blows why not try giving somebody to

reach around it often leads to coming to blow it. Fair enough. Well, we always learn a lot about Bartle Beebley Cahey. Talk to him long enough, you find out things. All right, well, now, what next is Adam rides at? Oh yeah, well this is when Adam, he's riding home to the Ponderosa and he finds a man, the man, wandering around on the property and he apprehends that man. And this appears to be perhaps the wild the property and he apprehends that man and this appears to be perhaps the wild man at Washu. Now back at the ranch Adam returns with this man

and hands him off to Hop Singh. This is one of Hop Singh's duties. I found a random fella wandering around on the land clean them up. That's one of the hop sings duties. He's the Henry Higgins and the Potter Rosa Ranch. Yeah I guess so. And then and then the the the the, the fellows all sit down to dinner and then, I'm going to play you a hop sin because he's, this is just, I feel that any, any person of Chinese descent would be more than proud to be associated with this scene. And I'm going to show it to you right now. Here we go. Is this it? Here we go. Today, today to go. The-Gon-Gon-Doha-Hubley-Hu. Hopsing, quick. Too much of foolishment. So what's the matter with you? Work hard. Make a fine supper, wash a dish. No time for foolishness. No, just settle down Hopsing. Hopsin'a' the the the their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. you got trouble Hobsing got the foolishman give a boy you say wash up clean boy boy you try boy you know boy around here oh Adam found some lad wandering around no

what you do with them hopsy him no boy him girl you go look see please well Adam if you don't know a boy from a girl shut up where is he I mean. Still in the wash house. Well, bring her in here. No can't do, boss. Burn up close. All fairly bad shit. You know, I think I've better see what I can do about this.

Maybe you just better stay right where you are. Ha ha ha. Look at it. Oh boy, that's a funny scene, isn't it? I mean, the fact that Adam can't tell a boy from a girl is serious business. He gets made fun of it, but good for that. Yeah, now Little Joe seems real interested in checking out a lady washing herself. And that she doesn't have clothes on? Oh, her clothes have been burned.

Yeah. I was just glad to see that in a cast so heavily dominated by men, they introduced a new character who you could tell was going to be there for a long time. She'd been living on her own out there in the wild and she was going to spend some time at the Ponderosa from now on so it would introduce some femininity into future episodes. I, yes my fifth character. I like it when women are being in service of the male storyline.

Well, that's got to be the main reason you like this show. It feels good. It feels, I feel useful. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, and uh, boy I'll tell you I just love I wish I had somebody in my life who was that Chinese who used a phrase like a foolishment. Because that that word, it's a wonderful word. Too much foolishment. He has to deal with the foolishment. I sense that Indiana Jones film with that character short round I ain't seen a performance is I don't just sort of well measured and careful. Yeah, yeah, I'm with you on that short round.

How did it? Why was that boy named Short Round? You remember? I don't think they ever bothered to tell you. They didn't explain it. My name Short Round. All right, fair enough. Moving on. Well, oh yeah, so she turns out, once we, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. All right. Fair enough. Moving on. Well, oh yeah, so she turns out, once we get to meet her, I don't know if we meet. Oh yeah, we learned that her name is Rosemary Lawson, they tell us her name. And then we get to hear her long story accompanied by strings, all about the unfortunate demise of her father and the trials and tribulations of her life. So you're right Bartleby, we are meeting the character that we're investing in, she's got a big future on the show. I also think it needs, it needs to be pointed out. No doubt about it.

It needs to be pointed out how good the music is on the show. Nobody can say anything without some significant kind of chord progression coming in afterwards. Well I told Dalton before we start recording it right around 2454 they crib right from Gerswin's Rhapsody and Blue and that's no joke if you're watching at home, check it out. Oh yeah, that's when the comical scientist is out there looking for the nerd. That's the third. Yeah. The nerd the nerd this time they got but he, and not only is he a nerd but he's a nerd but th, but th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the comical scientist is out there looking for the nerd. That's the third. Yeah, the nerd this time they got, but he, and not only is he a nerd, but he's a little bit fay. They brought in a foppish, fay nerd this time, which is a, that's just a pop and J. It's just, it's comical. That's the second guy who's not not, the second and uh... so we know big fires coming and uh...

yeah he's ridiculous and that that comes soon but also wanted a mention that at the very uh... at the end there when rosemary Lawson is getting real weepy about her dead father Ben Cartwright goes well you've talked enough for one day and he just he shuts her down class classic man cartwright style get out of here with that goddamn teary bull he will not the for emotion from his sons or anyone. Right. And then also at the very end of that scene, Hoss, old simple-minded Hauss, compares the girl to a horse they once found, which is a high compliment coming from Haas. She's just like that scared filly we found that time. Well now it it turns out the nerdy, Faye scientist informs them that Samuel Clemens wrote

a retraction of sorts about the wild man, except his retraction is basically to say the wild man existed but is now dead and is at the bottom of a body of water, now more people are there to find a dead body of a wild man. Under a bottle of water, a body of water, and the car rites are still steamed about it. All right. If this is, this happens in every episode of Bonanza. At a certain point, the story becomes so complicated that you just kind of got to start, you got to break into a bit of a jog. Right? Oh, absolutely. The water pressure was crushing the wild man. Oh, yes. They needed to get him out of there before he shrank too small.

Oh, that's right. He was going to shrink to the size of a boy or something. Well, then we learned that this Judge Billington, who's married to the course girl from the tra trivel trivel trivel trivel trivel th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the water, the water, the water, the water, the water, thi, the water, thi, the water, the water, the the the thi, the the the th. th, who's married to the chorus girl from the Traveling Girlie Show, is running for office and he is appealing to the common man, despite being quite obviously a city slicker. And now is when Samuel Clemens tells the judge's wife that he once wrote a funny story about a bullfrog in Calvaris County. Some people might find that a clue as to who this Samuel Clemens in this episode, enter Mark Twain might be. And she turns out, she talks a lot like she's a real gold digger, she only cares about money. And then, oh, this is where, oh, is this where we get introduced

to the phrase sagebrush humor? The story of the wild man of Washu is just an example of sagebrush humor. I I I I th th th th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. Ibrush humor. The story of the wild man of Washu is just an example of sagebrush humor. I like that. I didn't really understand it until they gave us more examples later that was so funny. Yeah, that's just a bit of sagebrush humor. But now, now Samuel Clemens doesn't want to write about silly stories like Wild Men. He has taken an interest in this judge and his running for judge. And I don't know why, but he's taking an interest in it and he is going to write critically about the judge and take him down and make sure he doesn't win, which is important because

it turns out we're going to learn that this, what those surveyors was doing on the Ponderosa is they was, they was working for the rail company and the railroad wants to put a train straight through the heart of the Ponderosa which is going to have the effect of like a cordoning off part of the Ponderosa in such a way as to where somebody could grab it. It's a land, it's a railroad track that is a front for a land grab for somebody to get their hands on some big piece of the ponderosa. And this was a kind of thing that the rail company wouldn't be able to do unless they had a judge who was in their pocket, which is what's going on with Billington. Who? How's that for explanation?

Yep. It's rough, huh? And then there's a, and they find all that out by a way of a shootout with some more trespassers that they're running off their land and they shoot one guy in the shoulder, which knocks him off his horse. When you are that good, it was just a crease. the crease. the crease. the shoulder, which knocks him off his horse. When you are that good a marksman. It was just a crease. Just a crease. It was just a crease.

When all you really want to do is remove a person from their horse, but not hurt the person in any way at all, you've got to be a real good marksman. And decrease. It's so thoughtful. It goes crease flesh wound, graze, full bullet kill. Yeah, so that's you're far away from a full bullet kill if you've just been creased. But it will take you off your horse so that you can be taken prisoner and provide all of the necessary exposition so that people finally understand what's happening

in this episode. That is one thing that a crease will do. I thought they should have said, when he said it's just a crease, I thought somebody should have said, well then let's iron this out, that would have been some sagebrush humor. Yeah. Oh, that's the real sagebrush humor. Yeah, and that would have been a good line for the woman, because I don't see any of our fellows, or Hopsing. I guess Hopsing does a lot of ironing. Yeah, I'd love to hear that line in his comical deliver style. And we're getting toward the end here. They're going to fight off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off. Oh, their their, their, their, their, thaughughueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueuea, thoomea, thoomorrow, thoomorrow, thoomorrow. thususus, thogea, thus, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thususususus. I's, thususususus. I's, thua. I's, thua. I, thoome, thoome, thaa, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thia, thia, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And, thi. We's, thi. Wea. thi. thea. thea. Wea. And, thia. Wea. And, thi. thea, thiard the end here. They're going to fight off. Oh, okay.

So now the cart rights are in a lot of trouble. There's railroad business and there's warrants out for their arrest and the cart rights are ready to just shoot it out with the law. But Samuel Clemens, who's come up to the ranch says, no, the panda's mightier than the sword. Bull crap. And, and he's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. they. they. they's, they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the th. th. thi. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. The. The. The. The. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. t, Judge, who he calls Professor Personal Pronoun. Did you understand what that meant? I didn't understand why, what that meant. Well, he said it in the headline first, and then later they explained it. So the joke didn't totally make sense, but what he was saying was that the guy talked about himself too much.

Is that Sagebrush humor? Oh I... That's just bad headline writing. Yeah, that's newspaper humor. Professor Personal Pronounoun is what you call somebody. Whether he's a professor or not, if they refer to themselves too many times. Talk about himself too much. Okay, thank you, Bartleby. Well, then we've got some business business their their their their their their their their their their their their their to themselves too many times. Talk about himself too much. Okay, thank you, Bartleby. Well, then we've got some business where the railroad guys,

thugs are trying to intimidate Samuel Clemons and get them to stop writing these articles under the name of Josh. And then there's a man with a bag of silver or gold, gold. to see the judge. And his th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thee, the, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, they's, they's, they's, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. they's, th. th. they's, they's, th. they's, they's, th. they's, the, the, the, they's, the, the, the, thean, thean, thean, thooooooo. thean, thooooooooo. thea. tha. tha. thea. they're to see the judge and his greedy wife says, give me the gold and she holds out her nightgown to catch it and it rips her nightgown and it rips her nightgown so much they say you can see her bare feet. Yeah, and then it tells you that it ripped her nightgowns so, they say, you can see her bare feet. Which is a biblical term for genitals.

Oh, that makes more sense. Wow. I guess Hop Singh would burn that nightgown. If he were there, he would burn it. Lot, lot, it's in bad shape. Couldn't stop touching his daughter's feet, and that's what it means. He couldn't stop touching his daughter's feet's feet's feet's the daughter's feet's the daughter's feet's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their lot from the Bible couldn't stop touching his daughter's feet and that's what it means. He couldn't stop touching his daughter's feet. Oh my God.

Oh, good. So when people have a foot fetish, is that what they're really saying is I've got just a genital fetish? Yeah, they talk about it in the Bible. Oh, see. So the Bible really gets juicy, huh? I need to check that out. Yeah, that's interesting. I've never heard anybody talk about a genital fetish, right? That's, you can only fetishize parts that aren't genitals?

I don't know, I think everybody pretty much comes hardwired with a genital fetish. I don't know if it's a real pink. It's biological. Yeah. All right, well good, I'm glad we settled that. Well, the ponderosa is like a vagina that they want to stay, they want it to keep it clean. I agree with you, the ponderosa is a lot like a vagina. And they want people off of it and they want to stay in it. That's exactly what it is. They're saying get off of my vagina.

Don't drill in it. Don't drill in in its virgin territory. Don't you go drilling in my vagina for silver. If there's a fire, make sure you put it out. Make sure you put it out. That's right. That happened two times in this episode. Okay, now we're racing toward the end of this episode, where now Samuel Clemmess has written another skating article about this episode. Okay, now we're racing toward the end of this episode where now Samuel Clemmons has written another skating article about this judge and then people seem to be enjoying these articles and noticing them and the

judge is getting all mad. Anyway, Samuel Clemens gets away from these thugs by hitting them in the eyes with his hat. I never seen that move. He's a real odd job. Yeah, that's right it was. The thugs. Samuel. Samuel. Samuel. Samuel. Samuel. T. T. Samuel. Samuel. Samuel. The the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's the the th. Samuel. Samuel. Samuel. Samuel. Samuel. Samuel. Samuel. Samuel. Samuel. Samuel. Samuel the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thug. thi. theating. thug. thug. the. theating. thug. th. theating. theating. thi. the. He just takes off his hat. Yeah. Yeah, that's right, it was. It's the thugs and then the cart rides come into the newspaper and there's gunfire and now we get a shootout. How long do we have to wait for a proper shootout in this episode? Boy, those fellas really know how to handle themselves in a shootout. The way they stayed so close together and exposed to the fellas they were shooting it out with. That's what you want to do in a shootout is make sure you're very close to each other.

Yeah, present a smaller target. Yeah. That's their right. That's their American right to stay unprotected. That's right. That's called strategy, Bartleby. Now, all right, I'm gonna play you the third and final clip of this episode I'm gonna play for you. And this is when, folks,

when you've been sitting there here this whole time going, huh, bullfrogs and cowbarrars, county, something about this guy. Now is when we find out the big mystery of this episode this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. I thi. thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. that's. that's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. thias County, something about this guy. Now is when we find out the big mystery of this episode that you never would have known. Here we go. They have to live on the Mississippi to know what it's really like. The way those big old boats come down the river, the ladsmen standing out there on the bow, taking the depth and singing it out to the pilot on the bridge. On a summer evening evening evening evening evening evening th th th th th we we we we th th we the th we th we the th we the th we the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoom thoom thoom thoome tho the thoome tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the big the big the big the big the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thea thea thea''ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'e th on the bow, taking the depth and singing it out to the pilot on the bridge. On a summer evening it has the sound of music.

He's going into this reverie during a gunfight at the newspaper office. Music. If you don't get that story, finish anything you're going to hear is a funeral march. Good and fire! I can still hear it. I can still hear it. Mark four. Mark three. Quarter less three. Half twain.

You hear that music swelling up? Quarter twain. Quarter twain. Mark twain. Mark Twain. Boom! Oh! Oh! Look at Haas makes short work of these guys.

He knocks the guns out of their hands. Plays with them like rag dolls. And here we go. The gunfight devolves into hand-to-hand fist-of-cuts. Oh. Why do they have so many bopsants? Joe? I've got it. I sure almost did get it, Mr. Clemm.

No, you don't understand. I mean, I finally found my name. Wait, your name? No, hoss. I mean my pen name. Mark Twain. That means river running clear, two phalanes of water beneath the keel. That's what Rivermen call real clear sailing. Everything's pretty clear around here right now, Mr. Clemmons. I don't know about that name, Mark Twain. I like the way that Hauss finished off those guys there. He just, he just bumped them into one another, and that was it for them. They hit the ground. They, their shoulders, their, their, their, their, their, their, their shoulders, their shoulders, their shoulders, their shoulders, their shoulders, their shoulders, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, ho, uh, ho, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho., ho. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. th. H. H. H. H. H. th. H. H. H. H. H. th. H. H. H. H. the, the, the, the, him into one another and that was it for them. They hit the ground.

Their shoulders collided with one another's shoulders at such velocity that they was knocked unconscious. That's what just happened. It's a shock to the system. So I don't understand. He ends up being Hal Holbrook. Well, no, no, no, it's a, Val Kilmer. He's him too. Well, no, I don't know, no, no, no, he's a Val Kilmer.

Here's the thing. Val Kilmer plays him too. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I just read a fascinating part of the Mel. Me too. That was a riot. That guy's a character. I wasn't surprised when he turned out to be Mark Twain,

because when he... What do you mean? Well, when he said he said said said said said said said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he said he was he he he he he he he he he he he he heed he was to to to to to to to to to toed toed toed toed toed told. told. told. told. told he was to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toed. told. to told. to to to told told to th. thi thi thi thi thi to thi. to to to thi. to to to to to to to to to told. to said he was from Missouri, I knew he had to be one of the famous people from Missouri, so it was either Mark Twain or Harry S. Truman. That's it. See, you picked up on another one of the little clues they put into the episode, building up to this big climactic moment where they reveal who this Josh slash Samuel Clemens really is. Yeah, this reminded me the usual the the the the the the the the the the the the the that it it it it it that it that it that it that it that it that it that it that it that it the that it was it the that it was that the usual th. It's that th. It's th. thi thi thi that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It was was was that was that was that was that's that's that's that's that's that's th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's the. It's thi. It's thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. It's thi. It's thi. Itthis Josh slash Samuel Clemens really is. Yeah, this reminded me the usual suspects the way it kind of unfolded there at the end.

Yeah. When you find out who Kaiser Soze is it, it turns out it's Mark Twain. Or like, or like Christmas when it's like, oh, it's a star in the sky and then three people go look for them and then there's a... Or it reminds me of a movie I saw a long time ago called Superman where at the very end of the movie you realize the two fellas have been the same person the whole time. Oh, uh, Clark Kent and Superman? I never put that together. They're the same guy. They're the same person the whole time. Oh, oh, Clark Kent and Superman? I never put that together. They're the same guy. Oh, oh. I feel it, which, which, which Superman movie are you talking about? All of them. All of them, they're all the same guy. I don't think a lot of the time.

Superman, Superman, the tuman, Superman again and again. of the time. Superman returns, return of Superman. Superman again and again. All the Supermans. I haven't seen them all, but my understanding is that there's certain ones of them where it's just Superman and you never see Clark Kent and then other ones where you just see Clark Kent, you never see Superman. Is that right? Am I right about that? I think you might be, but I find the ones that are about Superman way more interesting because the other ones is just a fellow reporting a story and pushing his glasses up on his nose. Yeah. Is all the president's man a Superman movie without Superman?

That's what I'm thinking of. Yeah, that's right. It's Clark Kent and Jimmy Olson are on the track of a big story. And at no time do they ever turn into Superman because there's no call. And Lex Luthor was the president? Now I never seen it because it's a city slicking movie. I just heard about it, I read about it on country flicks. Yeah, well, I accidentally rented that. I th th th th th th th th th got th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to thi. to thi. to to thi. thi. thi. thathea. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th.. Yeah well I accidentally rented that I thought it was going to be deep I got confused I just wanted to see that movie Deep throat and ended up watching this Clark Kent movie yeah yeah but

it's not what you think well well fellas and they don't know what I think yeah yeah oh no you're right I don't know what I think yeah Yeah. Oh. No, you're right. I don't. Anyways, what we got now? Are you guys going to have a shootout? I wish. That is, I'll tell you, that is one of the real problems of this, this whole Zoom thing we're in now.

I've been offended many times by'd have to jump into the car and go over to wherever the hell they are. I've tell and if I've been told if I'd try to shoot somebody through my computer all it's going to do is cause me to have to get a new computer. Yeah and also if you're going to do like a shootout or a duel on zoom as you can tell probably in this recording there's a the the the the the th. th. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin. thin' is thin' is to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the. to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I's. I's. I's. I's, and I'm thin. I'm tell, and I'm tell, and I'm tell, and I'm tell, and I'm tell, and I'm tell, and I'm tell, and I'm tell, and I'm tell, and I'm tell, and I So someone will get the drop on the other person and shoot them in the back. And then you have to have a lot of boxes to trip over while you're shooting people. And you know you should shoot them in the shoulder because that's definitely the soft spot of anybody.

Oh yeah, kill his shoulder. They drop their gun. They can reveal all the exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp exp. T they they they they they they they they can they can they can they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their they're their their their their their their their. their they they their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. to to to to to to to to to toe. toe. try. to to to toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. the. the. their can reveal all the exposition you need to learn. That's a good way to go about a duel. Well it's frustrating. I hope that soon enough this business, they'll get their arms around this virus and it'll all end so people can shoot one another face to face again or punch each other in the mouth. It's so hard to have a gun and not shoot a loved one. True enough. True words have never been said. Well folks at the end of this episode Samuel Clemens blows out of town. Why? We don't know. And and Rosemary

Lawson, we don't hear from her again and there is never a third fire. Well I have a question about this episode. All right, let's hear it. Could you have made the whole episode without the main cast? Could you have made the whole episode without the main cast? Samuel Clemens rides into town, meets a judge, hears about a land grab going on from the railroad, decides to write an article about it, gets in a gunfight with some fellows

that work for the railroad, ends up writing a scathing article that includes some sagebrush humor that makes the judge look petty and weak in the minds of the towns people, the judge loses the election, and Sam Clemens rides out of town a hero, and you never see the fellas from the Ponderosa at all! It's almost as though someone had written a pilot episode for a series about a young Mark Twain, and they didn't pick up that show and so instead he brought it over to Bonanza and said I'll cram your characters into my story.

That had a pilot written all over it. That was an origin story if I've ever seen it. Twain could be like Kane and Kung Fu. Oh! La da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. Exactly. Well, you know, I'm I don't know. I'm no television historian, but it could be that this was the, you know how Mark for Mark came down into the and told everybody to sit on and I'm happy. Yeah, back and then went off into his own show. Yeah, maybe this, there was a spin-off of this that was just following Mark Twain around from town to town, solving problems. Is Bonanza a continual series of rejected other show pilots?

Every episode so far has been like, they're just got a barrel full of unused pilots, and they're just throwing in the cart rides, Willy and Illyus supporting characters. Well, it was the Golden Age of Westerns on TV, so it stands to reason it was also the Golden Age of Westerns that didn't make it. I would have loved to see what happened next with that Lawson fella. The lady, you mean? Oh, it turned out to be a lady.

Yeah, Rosemary Lawson. Oh, I lost something in the middle there. Yeah, she was she she she she she she she she she she she she was she was she was she was she was she was she was she was the one the one the one the one the one the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. the one. th. thoom. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I. I. I. I. th. I. I. th. I. th. I. th. I was. th. I was th. I was the. the. thean. thean. the thooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. Oh, I lost something in the middle there. Yeah, she was 10 feet tall and had a wagon wheel in her mouth. Just like the horror of Babylon was, that's the 17th chapter of Revelations. Yeah, I love that whore. Now, but I will also say by the way, that this episode could have been, could have been done with just the cart rides.

And it would have been four guys riding around on horses, getting yelled at by a Chinaman, and shooting and punching. And that would have been damn fine too. And that would have left room to put out the third fire. Right. That's right. They would have had time to pay off on the buildup of campfires that are improperly put out. Is Rosemary Lawson just staying at the Ponderosa? Do we ever find out what happens to her? Or she, we expect she'll be the next episode. That's what I was going to say. That's a good transition to wrapping it up here because they will,

in episode, season one, episode six six we will find out if Rose Mary Lawson has become a part of the world of the Ponderosa there. Now part of what it means to be part of the world of the Ponderosa like Hop sing is that sometimes you disappear for several episodes and then when you come back it's not clear how they could possibly survive without you because you're their cook and you're their clothes burner and you take care of the strangers that they find. So maybe she's not in the next episode, but she'll pop up soon enough. It's hard to, you never know what's gonna happen on this show.

It's a surprising show. Why did he burn the clothes? Well, I think, Hopp sang as a horny old bastard. and once, and tha, and tha, and tha, and tho, and thiiii, and thi, and thi, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, they's they's they's tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo realized this was a woman, he said, I don't want to see her with clothes on again, crack-all, crack-up. So there was a third fire. There was a third. Oh yeah! Hot damn, there was three fires in this episode.

Good noticing. But did they explain, by the way, where the where her dress came from? I'm sure they did. That's probably one of Ben Cartwright's dead wives dresses. I imagine that's right, right? Yeah, it's probably that I know. He said, I know. Knife wounds stain in it. Well, also, in the West, who doesn't have a closet full of dresses just in case, you know, you want to make sure you're prepared for every eventuality.

Yeah, and in the east they do too, but for a different reason, you know where I'm coming from? Here, here. Well, women are interchangeable. Women are interchangeable. Yeah, you just put one in and they put in another and they just do stuff for you. Like they carry the storyline, or they go get water, or they wear a dress dress a dress a dress a dress a dress the dress the dress the dress the dress the dress the dress the dress the dress their their their their their their their their their their their stuff for you, like they carry the storyline, or they go get water, or they wear a dress and play the piano. I did like that moment where Ben Cartwright, who had just met this woman who was staying at their house wearing one of his dead wives dresses, ordered her to go get drinks for everybody at one point.

He just immediately said, go get everybody something to drink. I can't remember if it was drinks or food, but he was just bossing her around like he'd known her all his life. Put her right in a place. Oh, it's so nice when you feel like you're already a part of the family. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he had done her a kindness by a part of the family. Yeah. Yeah, well he had done her a kindness by putting her in the dress of his murdered wife and so he after that she owes him drinks at least probably a lot more than drinks.

Well at least that's another scene we didn't get to see. At least a reach around. At least a reach around. Sagebrush humor. Right. Yeah. Well, there sounds like there's a lot of ways this episode could have been. We could have seen the 500 people searching for the wild man.

We could have seen Ben Cartwright getting a reach around from Rosemary Lawson. We could have not had the cartwrights in reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach reach a to reach reach reach reach a to reach reach reach reach a to reach a to reach reach a reach reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach around a reach around a reach around a reach around a reach around a reach around a reach a reach a reach around a reach around a reach around a reach around a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a reach a to reach a to reach a to reach a to reach a to reach. to reach. to to to to to to to reach. I I to to reach. I to to reach. I. I. I. A to reach around. I. I. A to. I to. I to reach around. I to reach around. I to. I reach around. I reach around. I to. I to. I to. I to. I'm. A. A. A. A.. We could have seen Ben Cartwright getting to reach around from Rosemary Lawson. We could have not had the cartwrights in it at all or it could have been nothing but horse riding and shooting. But it wasn't any of those things. It was what it was. It was this episode of Bonanza. Enter Mark Twain and I think it was damn fine. Anybody else with some final thoughts on this episode they want to share with us? Observations, any noticings? Well it ends with Mark Twain exiting so the title's confusing. Oh that's a good point. Yep I guess it should have been called enter and then enter and then right after that exit Mark Twain. Enter Samuel Clemens slash Josh exit Mark Twain. That would have been perfect.

That's probably why that pilot never got picked up. Yep. I have a new wall hanging that's actually very similar to what instruments were left by the train company during this episode. It's kind of a modern piece that can be put on your mantle, but it's just made out of, I mean, it's mass producers to China, but it says the beast. Uh-huh. Okay. It just says that's it's in gold script. And it's just good to have around the house just to remind what is keeping your family together.

Which is the coming of second. So, so you could, it's a type of thing where the head of household might, from time to time say, you don't want to get the least. Do you want to get the beast. Do you want to know what another word for sagebrush humor is? What? Yeah. Josh. Oh. That's why he was using Josh because he was so focused on the sagebrush humor aspect of things.

Oh, I'll be damned. And then he realized it was better to focus on a riverboat sailing free with two fathoms of water beneath the keel. It seems that our host of this podcast has frozen on Zoom, so it's kind of like we've got we got free time to take over the podcast. Oh my gosh! Should we talk about him? Let's well I think he's a very good writer and I like the word I'm back. Oh I'm back. Oh we wasn't talking about you or anything. What happened? We were talking about what a good writer he was. Who you? Oh, yeah. What my poems and whatnot? Yeah, one of these days we're gonna do some poems on this show.

Enter Dalton Wilcox. That's what just happened. But you were still, I went out kicked me off, you was talking about the beast. And I just want to get clarification. Is that kind of thing where the head of the household will say from time to time, you don't want me to take down the beast? Is it like that? Is that the purpose of the beast? It's just whatever it is, it brings the family the fear in, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the f f f f f f f f f f, it, it, it, it, it, it brings f, the f, it brings family, it brings family, it brings, it brings, it brings, it brings, it brings, it brings, it brings, it brings, it brings the family, brings family, brings the family, it brings family, it brings, it, it, it, brings, is, brings, is, brings, is, brings, brings, brings, brings, brings, brings, brings, brings, brings, brings, brings, brings, brings, brings, it brings, it brings, it brings, it brings, it brings, it brings, it brings, it brings, it brings, it brings f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f f what's coming. But it's beautiful.

I think that's in, it's on part stone and then also linen and with gold inscription of the beast. It's and looks really casual like a beach. Yeah, it could be in a beach house or a, like a garden cottage or just look so good in so many different decorated environments. Beautiful. Well, check that out on Lots Daughters.com. You can also read Amy Sleverson's blog, which sounds like it's a real journey. And Bartleby Mo, okay. Do you have anything to plug? Well, yes, I'm actually selling my sand paintings. and Bartlebeam O'Kahey, do you have anything to plug?

Well, yes, I'm actually selling my sand paintings. Oh, are you? Yeah, I got- They're on the internet. If you just look for them. And- Barneymo Kahey's sad sand paintings. They're not sad. They're beautiful. There's one of two condos in front of a sunset

One of two seagulls in front of a sunset There's another one to the two thrushes in front of a sunset There's always two of them sounds like well. No, your red- Breasted Robin is a solo artist. I see. Okay, glad I asked. All right, Mutt Taylor, people can find the Journeyman's album there on Band Camp. Mountasmore, is that right?

That's all I got to say. All right, good. Oh, and people can go to our, we're all there on the social media at, at, bonanas pod. At bonanas pod, that's on Twitter and Instagrams. And there's where you can ask questions that we will answer on bonus nanza, bonus nannas for bonus nanza, our bonus program on Stitcher Premium. How about that? All sound good? Have we taken care of all old business, new business? Asked and answered. I have to close the podcast. Seconded. All right, all those in favor? Aye. Say aye. All right, well the

eyes have it and as always we do conduct this podcast in accordance with Roberts Rules of Parliamentary procedure at all times. Folks, thank you so much for joining us, and we will see you next time for episode six. Folks, we only have 426 episodes of this show left to go, I'm sorry to say. But we'll see you next time. So long! Bananas for Bananza is brought to you by Andy Daley with Maria Bambler and Matt Gorley, theme song by Matt Gorley with the journeyman, which in this case are Mark McConville, Daniel Michikov and Wade Ryan. Special thanks to our gang on the ground,

Josh Richmond and Shannon Locke. Bananas for Bonanza is produced by Ryan Connor and Matt Gorley, and executive produced by Colin Anderson and Chrisouch without a robot is all in text. Say it. Never let go. Say it. Never let go. Aux. We're the world now. Never let go. One toub.

Say it. Never let go. In the theater September 20th.