Boonta Vista - EPISODE 101: Three Dimensional Pornspace

Episode Date: June 5, 2019

Andrew, Theo and Lucy take a trip to Hawaii and catch a dose of brain worms as they discuss Chernobyl, Brigid Delay getting stuck in mud, judging a woman by the size of her turds, the moral and spirit...ual dilemmas of VR pornography and more. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Merchandise available at: boontavista.com/merchandise *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista iTunes: tinyurl.com/y8d5aenm Spotify: spoti.fi/2DBCXGA Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/s?fid=144888&refid=stpr Pocket Casts: pca.st/SPZB RSS: tinyurl.com/kq84ddb

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to Punta Vista episode 101. Hi, I'm Andrew. And we are here on the shores of Sunny Hawaii. Are we? Where we have taken a boat to see Lucy. Hi, that sounds nice. Hi. A hundred and one. That's the, that's the Dalmatians number. That's true, unless you're watching the sequel. That's right, the 102 Dalmatians
Starting point is 00:00:52 which we can discuss next week. My, my kids were watching like the live action, 101 Dalmatians. And they just have like, 16 Dalmatians, and they go, that's enough. I know they act like there's 101, but there really isn't. There's like 20 at most. Well, they pop them out and Jeff Daniels is all like, there's 20 Dalmatians or whatever, but then they're just like, that's enough Dalmatians. We now have enough to conduct the movie. And that's about it. T terrible th, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, th, th, th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, like, like, I, like, I, I th, like, th, th, like, th, like, like, thi, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, they that, they they that, they're, they're, they're, they're they're that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, movie. And that's about it. Terrible stuff. I guess I guess that was was that the beginning of Disney doing like live-action
Starting point is 00:01:31 versions of their own? They're doing a lot of that now. Maybe they can't stop doing them now and I don't get the point. I don't understand it. Seems bad to me. Weirdly enough, the Alatton movie with Will Smith as the Genie and directed by Guy Ritchie with all the same songs from the 1990 whatever animated movie, apparently it's getting rave reviews. I just, it's still, I really can't believe that. I don't believe that it is. What, getting good reviews? No, it's on like 50 on Metacredic, dude. Oh, okay. Maybe I saw one review and then I was like, what the fuck and then turned my brain off. Yeah. Guy Ritchie. Yikes. Look, I'll say I was, I was weirdly surprised by Guy Ritchie's, uh, King Arthur movie. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. It th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, I was, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th th thi. thi. thi. theee. I thi. I the. I'm thi. I was on the. I was on thi. I was on th th th's King Arthur movie, starring Charlie Hunnam.
Starting point is 00:02:27 I thought it was very bad. It was, like I didn't say it was good. I said it was, I was surprised by it in that like, it was a King Arthur movie but it had a lot of very distinctly Guy Ritchie stuff in it. It was very weird. It was very strange. The whole thing was super weird. And Eric Barner, hell yeah. Hmm. Sorry, who? Who? Who? Here's Theo? One more time?
Starting point is 00:02:51 How, hi? Hi, how are you? I'm good, Andrew. I'm growing a bit of a beard. Really? H. Really? Oh, I can say that. Oh, I can say that. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I. Oh. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I. Oh, I that. Oh, I that. Oh, I that, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I th. Oh, I'm. Oh, I'm. Oh facial hair in your ear holes. And that's what everybody's looking for when they listen to the show. Yeah, it's extremely masculine. It's definitely growing in well. And it's not making me into a joke every day that I walk into the doors at work. Yeah, but you just gotta, you just gotta push through that. It's part of the rights for passage of having a beard. It's the same as like, anybody anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, anybody, any, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the that. It's part of the rights of passage of having a beard.
Starting point is 00:03:26 It's the same as like, anybody you've ever seen, any guy you've ever seen who's got long hair and looks cool, which isn't a guarantee. But any guy that you've ever seen, they had the whole period where they were just trying to grow it out and it was like, now it's down to the bottom of my neck length Now it's you know now it's a bowl cut basically And everybody goes what's going on here? Why haven't you got a haircut? Nothing nothing obvious is happening with your hair and you just got to hang in there
Starting point is 00:03:59 The struggles of being a man struggles of perles of performative masculinity via facial hair. You're right. I guess. Just wait until it gets long enough and you can get that mustache wax out. Uh-huh. Curling around into a little greasy curly. And then Theo pulls down his little steampunk goggles and he's off on his penny-farthing bike to work. That's the goal, right? I assume that's the goal.
Starting point is 00:04:28 I think so. I mean, I think we're all aiming to be steampunk, but just not sure whether we're going to put the work in to do it. It's a lot of work, really. It's a lot of expensive. Yeah. I mean, the upkeep on my gigantic steam Mechatronic spider is just tremendous
Starting point is 00:04:52 Speaking of Will Smith movies yeah Wild Wild West Oh, wiki wiki Oh dear. Hey, uh, so on the last bonus episode Theo and I were talking about some shows some movies we got We got asked about what shows we've been watching, that sort of stuff. I feel we should probably give Lucy a chance to answer that question. I've been watching the last shows. I went shows. I watch all of Chernobyl, which I think is not like legally available in Australia yet.
Starting point is 00:05:21 You guys been hearing about this? I think you can get it on Foxdale if you sign up for an account and then delete your account. Yeah. I don't count there's an option though. Yeah, same. It is extremely good though. I think it's got like one of the best ratings on Rotten Tomatoes for a show ever or something and it really is fantastic. I will absolutely eat up anything Chernobyl related. There was a book that came out probably 2015 that went through like all of the kind of technicalities of what happened in the like minute by minute. Just pump it into my veins. It is. That's a lot. I didn't know most of this stuff. I didn't know like exactly what happened and how every step of it was someone's complete fuck up. It was someone's fault every step of the way.
Starting point is 00:06:10 Absolutely. It's very upsetting. It's incredible stuff. It's nice watching other people fail though, just over and over, just continually like tripping over their own feet. It's good. I'm trying to remember a thing I read recently about a guy who was like was attempting to steal like radioactive plutonium rods or whatever and that involved him actually just picking them up in his bare hands and dying within 30 minutes. Oh boy! which is a pretty quick way to go I mean it would probably feel like a pretty long 30 minutes. Oh boy. Which is a pretty quick way to go. I mean, it would probably feel like a pretty long 30 minutes.
Starting point is 00:06:49 Looks like a pretty gross way to go in the TV show. It looks pretty nasty. I think so. I imagine it looked just like, say, Toxic Avenger or the scene in the first Robocop movie, where the guy gets all the radioactive slime on it and then Robocop hits him with a car and you just... Pretty much like that, yeah, it was pretty gross. I also saw Saving Private Ryan at the cinemas the other day which I had never seen before and it was so good. Wait a minute. You mean you'd never seen it as the movie or you'd never seen the movie full-stop. I had never seen Saving Private Ryan. Wow, okay. Shocking. It really was that good.
Starting point is 00:07:29 I think it's like obviously it's pretty easy to go. Saving Private Ryan, it's a big war boner movie, but you know you watch it and you're like it's given war a pretty bad rap. I think that obviously it made that obviously the war is bad. I thought that was the message. I mean, you could definitely take away from it that Spielberg is saying like, what it's really all about is the sacrifice of all the brave soldiers who went through all this awful shit. But I just see the awful shit part. It's just the boy. Great sound, great sound on that movie. That would have been. The sound was fantastic at the cinema. It was amazing. It was very scary.
Starting point is 00:08:13 I've seen old movies at the cinema. I love when they do the shit. I need to do that more often. Well, the, the, I remember seeing, I saw, speaking of Robocop, I saw the original the original the original the original the original the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th.. th. th. th. th. th. the. the, great thoe, great thia. Great, great thoesoesoes sound thoes sound thoes sound thoes sound, great thoes sound, great thoes sound sound sound sound sound, great thi, great thi, great thi, great thi, great thi. Great, great thi. Great th. Great, th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Great, great th. Great, th. Great, th. Great, the, I saw, speaking of Robocop, I saw the original Robocop at the Astor in Melbourne. Ooh. Big, beautiful vintage theater. Get high as shit. Go and see Robocop on a gigantic screen and it was awesome. But there's a theater near me like a Hoyts, a big Hoyts
Starting point is 00:08:45 multiplex and it seems like they, like every weekend they just play like something from the 80s on the big screen they play like Predator or Dirty Dancing or whatever like a bunch of stuff where I go that would probably be pretty great to see Predator on her. Do it. In an actual theater. Go and do it. It's fun. I feel like they're actually trying different things to just get people to come in and watch a movie, and I respect it. I feel like they should just put in more old movies, you know? Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:20 Another thing that I had watched recently though, tho and I didn't mention when we were talk talking talk talking talk talk to to to to to to to to to to to tho tho the tho tho thi thi had watched recently though Theo and I didn't mention when we were talking about on the show and I will highly recommend is the is the is the new Lonely Island the new Lonely Island movie on Netflix. Oh yeah yeah I've heard it's so it's only half an hour long and it is it is a visual poem in the style of in the style of Beyonce's lemonade so okay so it's so it's the tho it's a the the the the the the the th the the the the th the the the the thi the thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho tho tho the the the tho th only th only only the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the only only the only the only tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' the the tho' the the the the the the the the style of, in the style of Beyonce's lemonade. So, so it's, it's very much done as though it were lemonade, except that the entire thing is, um, uh, Andy Sandberg and, um, Yorma, is that his name? I'm going with Jorma. I'm pretty sure it's Jorm.
Starting point is 00:10:09 They are playing, they are playing 1980s Major League Baseball players, Jose Cansego and Mark Maguire, who were known at the time, they were a bit of a sensation at the time and known as the Bash brothers, because they would sock monster-home runs, run around the time, they were a bit of a sensation at the time and known as the Bash Brothers because they would sock monster home runs, run around the plate and then like bump their forearms together and they were also to like massively juiced out roided up dudes. And basically it's my favorite type of thing which is just doing a single joke for like half an hour straight.
Starting point is 00:10:48 And the entire thing is just, we are Jose Conseco and Mark Maguire, we hit home runs and do a lot of steroids. And it's the 80s. And it's very good. I've watched it a couple of times and I've just been listening to the soundtrack repeatedly and it's very much my kind of thing. So I recommend it highly. Check it out folks.
Starting point is 00:11:14 The unauthorized Bash Brothers experience on Netflix. If you've heard of this thing called Netflix. Now Theo, dipping back into Australian waters, dipping our toes into Australian stuff, there's a columnist that we have spoken about on this show before. Yeah. That person's name is Bridget Delaney. We spoke about a column that she wrote,
Starting point is 00:11:44 which was about how she wore, she wore a backpack on a crowded tram and everyone was like, take off the fucking backpack! And she went, yeah, I didn't know what was happening, so I just pretended I couldn't hear them with my backpack on, hitting everyone in the face. She got paid for that article. Got paid to just massively cell phone and admit to being a rude little piggy. We have to highlight that she gets paid for every article after we read it because it's incredible that this is a living and probably quite a profitable
Starting point is 00:12:19 one. I love that they keep publishing this. I think it's great. But I really think we've somehow, when I say we, I mean me and possibly the show, have missed a recent renaissance of Bridget Delaney. Because these articles, so I managed to pull up like three in very short order, and they're all from like March, May, June. Yeah, I'm just looking at a recent articles. Wow, we've missed some real corkers. Some absolute corkers. So I think the one that caught my eye as well as like a lot of people is entitled, I was given a chance to be useful. Instead, I am left with weeping sores all over my body by Bridget Delaney. I don't understand why every column is about her complete inability to do like a normal adult task.
Starting point is 00:13:16 And they absolutely are. Like, for some reason, this to me really fully encapsulates the journalistic class of Australia. Just a pile of fail sons tripping over their own dicks and then writing a column about it and getting paid. In this case, for some reason, she was invited or invited herself to like a remote part of the Kimberley to help a bunch of tradies build a large shed and so she shows up and is just an incredible useless lump for like three or four days. Everybody despises her. She makes enemies with everybody and then goes home. There's so many corkers in here and it's like, people write this stuff, like these are
Starting point is 00:14:19 things that I would never want people to know about me. And people just write this stuff in like the Guardian, as if it's A, important or B, interesting. But also, like, C, not a huge cell phone. So, she kind of, like, I don't know how this happens by the first day, but I wake up at 6 a.m. It's cold and the light is soft. Salti, the tradeys name, the first the first tradey is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the guardian guardian guardian guardian is the the the the the the the the the the the guardian guardian guardian guardian is the the the the the the the the the the guardian is the the guardian is the guardian is their is theirie's their is their is their is the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. the g. this happens by the first day, but I wake up at 6 a.m. It's cold and the light is soft. Salty, is the tradie's name, the first thought warns us that there's so many flies they'll carry you away. When I clamber out of the tent, is there any other way to exit a tent? I'm covered in lumps and
Starting point is 00:14:59 they're up to of bites in each knee crease. I itch madly, the flies flock to the swords. I must have scratched some in my sleep as they are swollen, oozing, and on my arms there are some sort of insects nesting in the wounds. What the fuck? I go up to the building site and show Adam, who carefully uses his thumbnail to remove the creatures from my weeping sores. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the building site and show Adam, who carefully uses his thumbnail to remove the creatures from my weeping sores. I think they are ants, he says, and then gets back to work. Like the whole piece, it's clear that everybody in the world despises her. I think they are ants, he says, before turning away and returning to studiously ignoring me. He pulls an insect out of her body and then just shows absolutely no empathy whatsoever. But they go and they try and dig the ground and they can't dig the ground and it's all a big
Starting point is 00:15:58 hassle and they go to bed early but I'm woken up by the builders. There are four of them lying on the ground near my tent. Thrawl the he all the he all the he all the he all the he the he the he the he hhectic the he the he the hea their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their their their their their their their their their their theck. theck. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. the. the. thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea' thea' thea' th up by the builders. There are four of them lying on the ground near my tent. Thrall to the hectic night sky. Shut up I yell. So just like endearing herself to everybody. A few days later the builders meet in the morning just after dawn and decide what to do first. Put on a roof or put on the floor. Roof, I suggest, I am overruled.
Starting point is 00:16:26 One of the trucks carrying the solar panels can't get in because the road is not wide enough. People, not me, are dispatched to hack through the growth and widen the road. I visit the site, although I don't do any work. It's hellishly hot. But something about seeing the shared constructed is strangely mesmerizing. And something about watching other people do work. But wait, I offer to help lay the gravel whatever that means, but over-sleep and miss it. Oh well.
Starting point is 00:16:58 Oh well. Oh, oh. Oh, God. Then she goes on this drive out with this guy and gets absolutely bogged in like a wet salt pan. Goes out, walks around in her boots, and then comes back into the van, and there's this, or into the cab of the Ute, and there's this photo of her with her shoes, and she's like kicked up the floor mat, and the shoes are absolutely covered in like two inches of of wet mud and she's just like kicking around the floor mat in the in the well of the car just like destroying this guy's Ute and then she goes home. Why why has this happened? I'm looking at this picture right now what would you... why would you... why would you? Why would th th th you? th th the the the the th the th th th the th the th th th th th the th th th th the the th th th th th th th th two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two tho. tho. th th of two two two two two two two two two two two two thoes are thoes are thoes are thoes are th th th th th th th th th the th the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. Why has this happened?
Starting point is 00:17:45 I'm looking at this picture right now. Why would you... Why would she do that to someone's fucking car and then post a picture of it? As if it's not grounds for murder. This whole story is just about how she did nothing and she's useless. And everybody hates her and then she went home. Even the captions on all of the photos, Bridget's boots after being bogged. Here's another caption, at another point of the trip where Bridget was
Starting point is 00:18:12 useless when the youth became bogged in the salt pan. Why are you telling people this? It's all right, so she got paid for that article. Let's all highlight that she probably got paid in like, what do you guys have, or Lucy you've written for a living. Um, what would you dream of being paid? What would I dream of being paid? What would the guardian pay for this stuff? I feel like the guardian pays around 300 an article from what I've heard? I could be wrong.
Starting point is 00:18:45 My goodness. But she's a columnist, so it could be, it's probably more. Hmm. So, next article, my neighbor cut down my trees and I've killed everything in my yard. Oh my God. So this really kind of digs into what I believe is a core and total lack of object permanence. So she begins, so last year I returned from a long overseas trip, oh poor you, and flopped down on the couch. I looked around, something was different. It was like there was more light.
Starting point is 00:19:25 Yo House is lit AF, I thought, to myself. She's like 60 years old. Had I left the lights on for six weeks? Had the sun gotten bigger? Why was everything suddenly brighter? It took several hours of confusion walking around my brilliantly bright house to realize. A massive tree at the side of my house had been chopped down and another at the front. She goes on about blah blah blah it's a she was speaking to her neighbor. The tree was in fact a noxious weed which her elderly neighbor Bob told her repeatedly. Blah blah blah. Bob said it needed to be stopped at the source and offered to cut the tree down.
Starting point is 00:20:11 I was like, yeah, yeah, chop it down. But I didn't think he would actually chop it down. My backyard is bald, I complained on the phone to friends. It's so ugly out there and bright. And then her dad comes around on the weekend with her mom and with her elderly neighbor try to fix up the garden. The combined age of your two gardeners is 159, my mum messaged me. So why is her mom messaging her? She's in Bali, and she's sending them photos on WhatsApp of her villa and private pool.
Starting point is 00:20:53 While they fix up the garden where the neighbor chopped down the trees, that he said that he was going to chop down, and she said, yes, that would be nice. And then the rest of it's just her complaining about how she can't keep anything alive in her garden, probably because she has absolute brain rot. She got paid money to write that column. Finally, I was filled with self-loathing after losing my novel on my laptop. Russell Crow came to my rescue. Oh boy. There's only one thing that I really want to talk about in this and it's not her obvious
Starting point is 00:21:36 starfucking. She leaves her laptop on a plane. It shows up... So she has no idea what's going on. She quickly realizes that her novel is on her laptop and she has a lost her novel. So she puts out the call online, Russell Crow gets it and like amplifies it and eventually someone finds it in a parking lot and gets it back to her. blah blah. like amplifies it and eventually someone finds it in a parking lot somewhere and gets it back to her. I saw this. Mm-hmm. Here's the thing. If your novel is on your laptop and losing your laptop causes you to lose your novel, you deserve it.
Starting point is 00:22:18 You deserve it. You deserve it. You deserve it. You deserve every little taste of pain, every lost hour. She complains that like she has to get her friend to come in and try and pull it off the cloud, but it looks like it's corrupt on the cloud. That's fucking dog shit. That's not true. Dropbox keeps like one million backwards versions on there. I put things in a folder and I have no idea how they get synced to the cloud but they do constantly and if I don't like what's in there I just go back a version. People who are this bad at their job, this unintrospective, do not deserve to be making, you know, fuck. What could she be
Starting point is 00:23:04 making? Two hundred grand a year as a columnist? Like, it's not outside the realms of possibility, the, you know, the guys like Sky News are earning, you know, 500, 600,000 a year, like reliably. And it appears that her only skill is presenting herself as a Mr. Bean-esque figure. Stumbling from failure to failure to the amusement and possible abuisman, I think, of her editors. Without any humour, though, without any sense of self-awareness. Without forcing a three-wheel any sense of self-awareness. Without forcing a three-wheeled car off of the road. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:23:49 The theory from the Discord is that her editors absolutely know what a tremendous fuck up she is and are just using this for clicks, and if that's the case, I absolutely respect that. That makes sense. I believe it. If you are Bridget Delaney's editor, and you are helping her force these turds out onto the front page of the guardian. Just easing them out, like once a fortnight, these hot tururts for the little piggies to slop about in, then I respect that decision and I'd like to talk to you.
Starting point is 00:24:33 My goodness. Bridgetly, what a dunce. You got her. Yep. You really got her there. Put a little on it. Got them. Oh hey, let me just, um,. Got a little on it. Got them. Oh, hey, let me just, you guys talk amongst yourselves while I just get something ready
Starting point is 00:24:50 here. Okay. And it's ready. All right. Okay. Thank you. Thank you for filling all that dead air. I'll just backspace all those notes I had.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Doesn't matter. But we need to return to a segment that has not the light the light the light the light the light the light the light the light the light the light the light the light....... the light. the light. the light. the light. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to. to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the to. to. to. the to. to. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to a segment that has not seen the light of day in some time. Because we haven't had Dr. Lucy with us. That's me. So you know what it's time for, folks. Racism hour. It's... It's... Oh, that's right everybody. I was dabbing to that. Oh, it's right everybody. I was dabbing to that.
Starting point is 00:25:35 It's good. Oh, Paging, Dr. Lucy. Oh, actually, just before we move on from the conversation we moved on from 20 minutes ago, I also watched a movie recently called 8th grade. Oh yeah, I've heard of that. No, that's, um, that's Bo Burnham. It is the directorial debut of Bo Burnham. It's supposed to be good. It's really thi, thi, thage, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, oh, thag, thag, thag, thag, thag, thag, thag, thag, thag, thag, thag, thag, thag, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's um, it's Bo Burnham. It is the directorial debut of Bo Burnham. It's supposed to be good. It's really good. Just about the last, last year in middle school
Starting point is 00:26:14 of a 13 year old, 14 year old or whatever. The actress is really good. The movie is really good. He wrote it too. I'm assuming he played some part in the music. But it was just very very noteworthy for being like, for like really capturing all of the sort of just general horrible anxiety of being a teen and not wanting anyone to look at you ever. But without a whole bunch of kind of, you know how every like indie movie about teens has to have like the moment where they like get up and do a thing in front of a crowd and everybody apploads them and shit or they finally like they finally have a big showdown with somebody. It's bullshit.
Starting point is 00:27:05 It doesn't happen. Yeah, the stuff that doesn't actually happen in life. And it's very much like that where, yeah, the movie is very compelling, but everything that happens in it just is very much the kinds of things that happen when you are a teenager. It's that level of stakes. But it all feels as important as it does feel to you when you are actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that doesn't actually actually actually that doesn't actually that doesn't actually that doesn't actually that that that doesn't actually the stuff that that that that that that that doesn't that that doesn't that doesn't that that doesn't that doesn't that doesn't that doesn't that doesn't that doesn't that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th, that th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the stuff, the stuff, th, the stuff, th, the stuff, the, the, the stuff, the, the stuff the, the the the thea the the thea thea thea thea thea the the th all feels as important as it does feel to you when you are actually a teenager. Nice. Without inserting a bunch of like, a bunch of sort of unearned stuff, I suppose.
Starting point is 00:27:37 I guess I wind up feeling a lot of the times in those sorts of movies, like they just have to insert things like that to go, ah, now suddenly there are dramatic stakes and you have to care about it. So I very highly recommend it if I guess if that's what he stopped doing comedy to go and do good on him because it turns out he's very very good at it. Good for him. Cool. Back to paging Dr. Lucy. This is our segment where we examine the finest and by that we mean the worst to care to care to care to care to care the worst the worst. to care the worst. the worst. the worst. to care to care the worst. to care the worst. to care to care to care the worst. to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care about to care to care to care to care about to care about to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care to care. to care. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. the worst. Good the worst. Good the worst. Good the worst. Good the worst. Good the worst. I the worst. I the worst. the worst. the worst the worst the worst of the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the worst the the the the the to to the the worst the worst the worst. Good. Good. This is our segment where we examine the finest and by that we mean the worst attempts at other people's problems. Now it originally started off as relationship advice as sourced from Reddit. The sub is drying up though you know I feel like we've covered every topic. Well hold on because I think we got to talk about one that popped up in the last week or two.
Starting point is 00:28:30 This is a this seems like an all-timer. My boyfriend 28 year old male wants me 27 year old female to take a dump in front of him to prove that I'm not cheating. I did read this one actually. We all read this one. Oh. I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year now. I live alone. He frequently spends a night at my apartment. We have a healthy trusting relationship. Do you? No. However, I'm aware that his previous girlfriend cheated on him. Prior to this week, he has never expressed any lack of trust in me. My apartment is fairly old, so it takes a while for the water to heat up.
Starting point is 00:29:06 Sometimes when I'm waiting for the shower to get warm, I take a dump. I don't want to flush the toilet and screw up the water temperature, so I'll take a dump, shower, and then live in a barn. Let's move on. Anyway, my boyfriend came over later that night. He went to the bathroom, stayed in there for a few minutes without making any sound, and then emerged with a completely dead look on his face. He asked who's shit was in the toilet. I was mortified and explained that I had forgotten to flush. But he just kept asking whose shit it was, to the point where it became obvious that he wasn't trying to tease me.
Starting point is 00:29:46 Then he said, what guy shit in your toilet? Oh boy. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, oh. Oh, thou. Oh, sweet. tho.
Starting point is 00:29:58 I told him again that I had just forgotten to flush. He replied that I was a liar and that, quote, no girl could take a dump that big. Oh, sweet. This is, this is not only like one of the funniest things, like the funniest thing in this story, it's one of the funniest things that I can actually abadjured happening. I think I'd know a dude shit when I see it. you just like when there's just one particular detail of a thing that you find just like blindingly funny and that's believing the this shit is so awful that a woman couldn't have possibly taken it like just standing there hands on hips who took this monster dump whose turd is it it makes me thinkthink of like, you know, not a lady's turd?
Starting point is 00:30:46 Makes me think of Joe Rogan insisting that like, men and women are just built differently, man, you know? You know, men can just do some things that women can't do. Like, like monster turds. Yeah. Chicks who saw built a shit like that bro. I am I fucking I used to listen to to Joe Rogan a bit now that much is clear yeah it's explained to a lot so you're saying something about monster shit Sanju yeah about how I can very much imagine Joe Rogan frantically making the case that a woman's assole just wouldn't be capable of producing a girthy enough shit like a dude could.
Starting point is 00:31:26 I believe this one. I think this one's real. Yeah, you always used to get the sense of the internet of, due to the magic of the internet we can now see and hear about all these wild things that happen to people and now we get to know about them too. But over time, of course, everybody, of th, of course, of course, everybody, everybody, everybody, everybody, them too. But over time of course everybody got into the whole cloud chasing business and now it's like like like that dude wrode some big stupid fucking thread on Twitter the other week about how he stole a kilo
Starting point is 00:31:56 of heroin from MS-13 and was talking all this shit about how... Why do people do this? His favorite director was going to make it a movie and it seems to be like a 48-hour cycle from that to admitting that he made the whole thing up and all that sort of shit and I'm just like why even do it in the first place. Twitter is a sacred place. It's a place of truth. That's right. It's a place where you tell the truth about your big, girthy shit. That's thy. That's thy. That's thy. That's thy. That's thy. That's thy. That's thy. That's thy. thy. thy. thy. thy. thy. thy. thy. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the theeee. the theee. theate. to to to the. the. the. th shit. That's right. All right, so back to this guy. I couldn't believe I was in this conversation. I couldn't even get upset or angry. I just said like an idiot, but it's my shit? But it's my shit. My boyfriend walked out without another word and ignored my calls for the rest of the night. Oh, oh boy. the rest of the night. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 00:32:47 The next day he agreed to meet me for lunch. He apologized for leaving in such a rush, but said, he still couldn't believe me when I said it was my own shit. Oh my goodness. He said he was willing to give me a second chance if I could prove it. I didn't really understand what he was getting at, so he elaborated that he wanted to see me to see me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me to see me to see me me to see me me to see me to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me to to me to me to me to me to me to me to me for me for me for me for me for me for me for me for me for me for me for me for me for me for me for me for me for me for me to me to me to me to me to me to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me to me to to me to. to me. to me. to me. to me. to to me. to to me. to me. to me. to me. to me to me to me to willing to give me a second chance if I could prove it. I didn't really understand what he was getting at, so he elaborated that he wanted to see me take a dump in front of him to prove that my shit actually looked like that. That was yesterday and I have absolutely no idea what to do. I guess we could compromise and I could take a dump in the toilet and then call him in to see it, but this is just too weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird a weird weird a weird a weird a weird. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to he to to he to to he he to he to to he to to to he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he to he he he he to to to th. th. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to call him in to see it. But this is just too weird and bizarre in Christ. I seriously love this man. Why?
Starting point is 00:33:29 Why? Why? Why? Why? But I'm honestly at a complete loss. He has made it clear that this is a deal breaker. The shit is a deal breaker. I also, I love the like grodiness of a woman's shit is like axiomatic for him. It's like one of his one of the core beliefs that he just builds the structure
Starting point is 00:33:54 of his life off. But I cannot believe that women are out here taking big nasty shit. Like that is just like... I'm less worried about his insane jealousy and I'm more worried about his understanding of like female reality. I look I'll say this for this guy he definitely doesn't have any kids, definitely doesn't have any tiny daughters who surprise you with the size of their turds. They'll call you in a look at them. Cool. As they should. as turds, they'll call you in the look at them. Cool. As they should. As they should, so that you can understand what a woman's shit looks like. I gotta see him when I'm wiping other people's butts and all that sort
Starting point is 00:34:34 of stuff. At least you'll never ask your wife to take a shit in front of you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that'd be weird. That'd be so weird. What sort of freak would do that? We'll see the size on this bad boy. I'm imagining this dude getting his like calipers out. My turd calipet. It's a 92nd percentile third. It's all like he's also...
Starting point is 00:35:04 Like the man is obviously Simpleton. He seems to be under the impression that every, every, every, the the the, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, that, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, the th, the the the the the the th, the the the the the th, th, the th, the the th, thee, thee thee, thee, thee, thee, thee thee thi, thi, thi's thi's thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's thee, is thee man is obviously simpleton he seems to be under the impression that every every shit this woman takes is going to be identical. Yeah that's just not how it works. A strange concept of how shit works. What if she got diarrhea next time you know and she's putting out the same volume is just in a different form. Right? Geez. Geez, some people are pretty unreasonable. Now, I think we can all agree that she should not love this man or continue a relationship with it. I don't know how you could ever continue a relationship with someone when you've had that fight,
Starting point is 00:35:39 when you've had a, like, an angry fight with each other arguing about whether the shit in the toilet is yours, like in any context. I feel like the relationship would be over for me at that point. Well there's also, I think the other very obvious factor of this is that at like the slightest weirdest provocation this guy has been like, ah clearly somebody has been in here fucking you and also taking a big dump in your toilet. And the only way that you can prove it to me that you're not is by producing a third of equal or larger value.
Starting point is 00:36:18 It's like a reverse glass sipper, what, glass slipper scenario? Mm-hmm. Beautiful. You've got to fill up, you've got to fill up this slipper again. So, it's a whole line of like potential shitties, just like holding the turn up to their eyes. Oh boy. A sword and a stone kind of thing, you know. Whoever can produce a shit this size?
Starting point is 00:36:43 It's, um, it's extremely weird. But, but, but, but, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's this size. It's um it's extremely weird but but yeah I think surely that speaks to some fundamental psychosis in your partner if they find it more they find it more realistic to believe that their partner has been cheating on them and sneaking a man in and out of their apartment and all that sort of stuff. Letting him take a shit in the toilet. Yeah that he finds that he finds thi thi thi that that thinks thinks thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to thi to to to thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi out of their apartment and all that sort of stuff. Letting him take a shit in the toilet. Yeah, that he finds all of that far more plausible than the idea that his girlfriend took a big dump.
Starting point is 00:37:15 Also hang on, what's the scenario that he's imagining that like he has sex with her. And then he's like, well, I better slip off because your boyfriend's going to be here first. First I'm just going to take a monster shit in your toilet and then I'm going to leave fire the window without flushing. No, I think he took a monster shit and flush and the girl was like, oh, I love this dude so much and I don't even want to, I just want to keep a little piece of him around. Whose shit is this that you're preserving?
Starting point is 00:37:51 That would be an extremely cock move. That really would be. You want to see what a real man shit would be? Oh goodness. The other thread, the other, the other Reddit, the subreddit, I'm getting my terminology right here. The other subreddit that Lucy has been dipping into lately is, Am I the Assault? Don't act like I'm the only one dipping into this, like I'm sitting there at home,
Starting point is 00:38:19 reading these Reddit threads. Well, let's not act like you weren't excited when you discovered it. It's true. I was pretty excited. Here's one. Should I, am I correct in thinking that W-I-B-T-A is would I be the asshole? That's right. Okay, it seems like we've got a mix of them on here. Would I be the arsoal for asking my ex- ex's daughter to stop calling me dad? Sorry, I had to like figure that one out of my head for a second. I was with my ex for seven years. At the time she had a two-year-old and when we split her daughter was nine years old. She called me dad pretty quickly, plus we all lived together. I thought we'd become a family proper through marriage eventually, but obviously things didn't
Starting point is 00:39:06 pan out and we split. It was amicable and we're still friends. Her daughter is 14 now and still calls me dad. My ex hasn't started dating again, but I'm engaged to my soon-to-be wife. We all get along, but my fiancé doesn't like that the kid calls me dad, the or otherwise, but I was a father figure for seven years, and even beyond this I still stayed involved in her life. My fiance wants me to put a stop to it because it makes it feel uncomfortable. Like... Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:39:35 I'm going to say straight up that you would be the asshole, and also your fiance is a huge asshole. Yeah. Like, we want to start, we want to start a family of our own soon. And my to to to to to to to to to to to to thoeseeionionionionionionionionionionionionionionionion, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to to to to to to to to to to tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to-s, tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-s, the, the, to start, he says, we want to start a family of our own soon and my fiance wants my undivided attention on our child. Oh, fuck you, lady, go. That seems healthy. That's a healthy relationship. I can see her point and where she's coming from, although I'm indifferent to the whole
Starting point is 00:39:57 dad situation. If she calls me dad, whatever, and if she doesn't, then also whatever. Fuck it now. This is just healthy all round, isn't it? Oh, this poor kid, she's just like, oh, the one person who was nice to me in my life for seven years. And this guy's like, whatever. It's got a new girlfriend now, so things are different. I'm your dad, whatever, I'm not whatever. the da.
Starting point is 00:40:22 Oh, dear. Oh, th, th, th, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm tho, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm th. I'm just, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thea. tha. tha. tha. thea. tha. thoooooooooooooooooooooo. th. th. th. Oh dear. Yikes. If she doesn't, whatever, I'm not her dad, but it's ultimately not up to me or my ex or my fiance what she calls me, it's up to her. But I must relent to my fiance's wishes because my family should be prioritized, right? No. No. It's a terrible way to live your life. Well, what a terrible way to enter into your lifelong commitment to somebody is like.. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, to, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, th horrible way to live your life. Well, what a terrible way to enter into your lifelong commitment to somebody is like,
Starting point is 00:40:48 we've got to establish up front that I got to do whatever the fuck this lady says, right? You've got to do whatever she says. I'm going to have a sit down with my ex and her daughter and split ties to focus on my own family. But would I be the asshole he's got this in the British the British Australian spellers arsehole I'd still maintain contact because I'm very much still connected to my ex and her daughter I just want the dad to stop to avoid friction with my eventual wife I think should break up with your bitch up fiancee he's being an asshole, right?
Starting point is 00:41:26 Being a real prick. You'd hope so. I think we can all agree that that's bad. But here's one that's more interesting that Lucy has provided for us. Oh, I love this one. Am I the asshole for watching VR porn? This is a great discussion I think we all need to have. We've, especially those of us with VR headsets. We've been married about eight years. She's not approved in bed, but not what I'd call adventurous.
Starting point is 00:42:00 That's partly on me. I don't communicate my wants very well. I'm fine admitting I have a problem with that. All right. Mm-hmm. Okay. It's much easier to admit that than have made any effort over the last eight. There's your first problem. I bought an Oculus Rift last year, and of course, porn is a big thing. You guys heard of this porn stuff?
Starting point is 00:42:22 Been hearing about it. My wife has zero interest in gaming. Oh, I'll throw it to the curve. No gamer wife. Get rid of her. Get a gamer wife. My wife has zero interest in gaming so she's been totally hands off when it comes to the VR. I got her to try at Google Earth exactly once. She thought it was so-so. I thought my porn was safe. I was wrong. She always calls me on her way home from work, I mean religiously. The other day...
Starting point is 00:42:55 It's on. Oh, are you ready for a great sense? The other day, I get home and strap on the porn visor. That's a very upsetting collection of words. I want to say as well, like, um, I don't, uh, yeah, I'm getting the vibe from this, the what this guy's actually trying to say is, um is I jack off to VR porno every day almost religiously. Yep and I have a warning system in place I have a like a virtual string of cans stacked at the top of my stairs. Yep. For example when I was a teenager with dial-up internet it was the sound of the garage door opening that was my, my big warning, my I was a teenager with dial-up internet, it was the sound of the garage door opening.
Starting point is 00:43:46 There was my big warning, my claxon, put away your penis claxon. Men live a very different life to me. Well, you'll notice that I said when I was a teenager, not... I was an adult who had been married for years. Not an adult strapping on my virtual reality porn visor every day after work. My God. The wife gets off work early, gets a phone call as she enters the parking lot and proceeds to stay on that call all the way home. She's circumvented the safety system. So basically her fault. She's bought this on itself, really.
Starting point is 00:44:28 She's somewhat responsible, yeah. Oh, god damn. I can't believe you're making me read this, Lucy. She hangs up in the garage, walks inside, and catches me wrangling the unruly hog. Unruly hog. That wouldn't be so bad, but the rift is mirroring what I'm watching on the monitor. No I'd say it would be so bad. It's bad both ways. Bad either. There's definitely not a good angle for this one. We don't yell or scream at each other or name call. She just tapped me on the shoulder and asked me what I was looking at.
Starting point is 00:45:07 I think we've established she could see. I think she could see it, yeah. Her expression broke my heart into pieces. I can't even describe it. A mix of sadness and disappointment. Perhaps a touch of anger. Oh, this is just sad. Oh, I explained, it's just porn,
Starting point is 00:45:28 which she knows I watch and is okay with. And to me anyway, VR porn is more voyeuristic than fantasy. I don't pretend I'm banging these girls. It's more of a third-party view of what someone else is doing. I was under the impression that like 100% of VR porn was like first person. Yeah, I assume that's the point of it, right? Yeah. Like being a third-party viewer of porno is just porn. It's just regular porn. That's just normal porn.
Starting point is 00:45:58 It's almost like there's a camera set up watching some other people fucking. Oh well he answers this in the next sentence. Oh, okay. Sorry. Uh, it didn't matter, of course. The nuances of sexuality in three-dimensional porn space are hard to express in the heat of the moment. Hmm. The nuances of sexuality in the three-dimensional porn space. Porn space is one word. I'm going to tell my wife not to come out into the living room.
Starting point is 00:46:34 I'm entering the three-dimensional porn space. Entering my porn space, honey. It's nuanced. You wouldn't understand. So she asks me to hand her the rift. So she asks me to hand her the rift. I hesitate and that pisses her off and makes me look worse than I already do. I look like I'm hiding something, which I suppose I was. I give her the oculus and she puts it on. She doesn't say anything for a few seconds.
Starting point is 00:47:04 She takes it off and places it on the desk, and goes and locks herself in the Oculus and she puts it on. She doesn't say anything for a few seconds. She takes it off and places it on the desk and goes and locks herself in the master bedroom. It's an incredible image of her just putting the VR headset on. Silent through the whole thing. Just the most disappointed person's ever being in the history of the world. Just moving a head around to get a view of the three dimensions of what's going on. Oh, yep, just dead panning her way all the way through it. Oh, God damn. I slept on the couch and she has not responded to my text all day.
Starting point is 00:47:40 She may just be busy at work, but I doubt it. She'll be home in an hour or so and I'm not sure what to say. Well, I hope she calls first. I hope she calls on the way home so she doesn't catch you with your unruly hog again. Oh! Is VR porn a form of cheating? Is it almost a form of cheating? Is it bordering on cheating? Is it a variant of emotional cheating? Is it an asshole thing to watch when in a committed relationship? Am I an asshole?
Starting point is 00:48:13 I think, I think this guy's really coming to this from the wrong angle. No, absolutely. I think- He's really making an issue that is not what the actual issue is. No. He's, he's, he's, like, he's very, very much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much he's very, very much projecting onto his wife who has not spoken a word throughout the scenario. He's projecting onto his wife. She clearly thinks that it's like a step further into three-dimensional porn space and that it's like I'm doing real sex with these people. Like he says back there, you know, I explained
Starting point is 00:48:46 that it's not like I'm, I don't pretend I'm banging these girls or whatever. I don't think that's the issue at all. I think that there is a big difference between your wife finding, let's say it's the 1980s, and your wife finds a small stack of pornographic magazines. Big old Santa Fold. In a jitty box? Big bush, big titties. Yeah. Yep. Some big knockers fall out along with the description of what this lady likes to do on the weekend,
Starting point is 00:49:19 whatever, her turnoffs. Like 800 words of prose for some reason. Yep. Or perhaps it's the 1990s or the 2000s. Maybe it's the 90s and she has found, she's walked in on you jacking off to a grainy VHS tape. Or maybe... Like a really tanned lady, like, that really like uncomfortably tanned skin with like big fake boobs. Oh yeah. That 90s porn you know what I'm saying? That leathery leathery skin except for the titties that have the like the triangle of the 90s style bikini. They're very oily. So I think with all of these
Starting point is 00:50:01 things they are what we would all consider to be the traditional mode of pornography. I think the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th 90 th th th 90 th th th 90 th th th 90 th th th th th th th th th th th 90 th th th th th th th th th th th poniny th poniny is th poniny is th po all of these things, they are what we would all consider to be the traditional mode of pornography. I think the issue with walking in on your husband inside his big cyber masturbation rig is that it's just a whole other thing. It really says, it really speaks volumes to, I have taken many steps not just into the 3D, the 3D Pawnscape or whatever. 3D Pawn Space. Not just that you have done this, but like, you've paid more money to do so. You are now attaching physical apparatus to yourself in order to get further into the jerk off zone. And
Starting point is 00:50:50 there's just something that's a special kind of pathetic about that I think. Yeah I don't think this is about whether VR is cheating. I think a lot of it is like the first sentence is like I don't communicate my wants very well, which makes it sound like they're not doing a lot of this. the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I th. I to get to get the. I to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get their their to get their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their own their own their own the. the. the. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. makes it sound like they're not they're not doing a lot of this they're not doing a lot of their own porn space they're having very ordinary sex and meanwhile I step into my my devolver chamber just get completely nude and greased up oh dear I'm imagining like, yeah, those like big,
Starting point is 00:51:28 big full reclining gamer chair type things that they put like the big triptych of monitors above, you know? Like someone's lying back in the rig from the Matrix, but with a VR visor on, you know? Who did I see a tweet today? It was, I think it was friend of the show, Seaford Oval, fellow Canberron, tweeted,
Starting point is 00:51:57 if you come in the matrix, do you come in real life? Yeah. But yeah, I think we can all agree that there's a special, it's a special kind of patheticness too. I'm wearing my whole rig. Like I'm a whole rig on. And I'll say as somebody who has inspected this type of stuff. Scientifically.
Starting point is 00:52:25 Yeah. Yeah, for sure. No, I talked about this on... No cartridge. What the friend of the show, Trev, I went on the show with Trev and Liv and we caught up about the last time I was on the show before that. I was talking to Trevor about, you know, open world games and a lot of that sort of stuff.
Starting point is 00:52:50 And I'd said that I was very interested in like VR and that kind of thing. And since then I had got PlayStation VR and been playing a bunch of stuff on there, so we were talking about that. And the subject of, the old VR pono came up. And I said, yeah, I threw some on at some point because I was like, oh, I got to check this out. And it was kind of disappointing because it's just like, when you're playing games in VR, they are a constructed environment, right? You can move around within the environment, you can interact with things, you can look around and under things and all that sort of stuff.
Starting point is 00:53:35 Like the porno that you can get for those sorts of headsets is just like 360 degree video type stuff. That's if you're watching like actual filmed porno. So like if you move your head or or like stand up or sit down or anything you don't that doesn't change within the within the thing. Yeah the focal point is stationary because it's just a fixed camera you know and I was like man this is just a taped porno. that the the yeah the focal point is stationary because it's just a fixed camera, you know. And I was like, man, this is just a taped porno. But I would imagine, I would imagine that for stuff like Oculus, because also you can buy shit off steam for Oculus, right?
Starting point is 00:54:20 Which would mean all kinds of gross 3D anime type shit, I would assume? Definitely. Some over-much porn for sure. That's what I'm picturing this guy was checking out. You're right. It wouldn't be like real porn. It would be some like anime shit for sure. Yeah, because like, so I don't have any particular knowledge of or awareness of like the type of, I'm sure there is a whole ton of like adult slash hentai slash porno, um, VR stuff for
Starting point is 00:54:56 things like Oculus. And I'm almost 100% sure that it's all like cartoon anime stuff. For sure. For sure. Yeah, so I'm picturing this guy's wife putting on the visor and seeing like you know three teenage hentai schoolgirls writhing around and going, well, time for me to lock myself on the master bedroom wordlessly. Oh like Barton Marge. Yeah. Yeah. myself on the master bedroom wordlessly. Oh like Bart and Marge. Yeah, they're all just like the the banner ads on porn hub. You won't last five seconds and neither
Starting point is 00:55:39 were your marriage. I saw one of them the other day. I saw one of them the other day and it said, try not to come and it was like, and it was an elastical from the incredible is going to be fucked. And I was like, okay. I think I can manage. I was like, this is fine. It's a very low bar you've set for me. Try not to come about this looped 12 frames of animation and the Disney character get banged.
Starting point is 00:56:21 Oh my God. The nuances of sexuality in the porn space. Oh, it's bad enough. I mean, it's bad enough that like, I'm assuming that by this point about 97% of all new pornography is like incest based. Everything is somewhat, my-sister got her head stuck in the dishwasher or whatever. Sure. And that's bad enough but I don't know who are like, yeah but what if it was Peter Griffin and Meg? Then I'd really be living. Yeah, that would be weird. Who would do that? Wo'd that? Yeah, that would be weird. Who would do that? Sounds gross.
Starting point is 00:57:10 Yeah, that'd be strange. I think, and of course the other part about this that upsets me, again, now obviously I always have that, the lens of parenthood now. And whenever I see those sorts of banner ads and shit, and it's like, the two princesses from Frozen fucking each other, you know? Yikes. Well, because the thing that always, whenever I see anything like that, the place that my mind goes is, oh, so what that means is that there's a
Starting point is 00:57:46 whole bunch of dads out there watching Frozen with their kids and thinking, what if I was watching these CGI princesses, fuck. That's the only reason someone would have made that. What other reason is there to produce it? So, in the same vein of people coming home and being busted. Yeah. So, while we've been recording this, my wife has been out. She's just come home. Did she phone on their way back though?
Starting point is 00:58:21 She did not. But she did just send me a message that says, bath soup, hey? Now, I don't know what evidence I've left. I could only assume that she is some sort of Sherlockian genius. Were you eating soup in the bath? that before we recorded this show, I ate soup in the bath. That's a weird thing to do. That's officially the wettest meal the person can have. Oh my goodness, bath soup. Now just before we get out of here,
Starting point is 00:59:06 I'm just going to quickly pull something from the mail bag that was asked of us earlier in the week. But Lucy wasn't here to answer the question. Ah, I'm so sorry. Is it about my porn space? Uh, mm-hmm. A friend of the show HDX has asked, Have you checked Lucy for literal brainworms recently?
Starting point is 00:59:30 Linking us to an article on Ars Technica. Is it about Ratlang worm? Hawaii warns tourists of parasitic worm that can burrow into human brains. That's a real thing. Health Department reports three more cases in people who visited Hawaii Island. Which is not the island I'm on, but very scary. Apparently you actually have to wash your produce here. Like, I never did that at home. I know that you're supposed to. No, that's not a real thing, is it? But apparently it's a real thing here. Because if you eat a tiny snail it gives you rat lungworm disease which
Starting point is 01:00:05 borrows into your brain and it kills you. Nice. 17 confirmed cases in 2017. Really? Yanks. Apparently someone got in Australia because he ate a snail like on a dare. Nice. Respect. And I would just like to say this is a very insulting question. We very regularly check Lucy over for all kinds of things. Worms, bugs, nits. Nits. Check to see that you have a lustrous coat. Once a month we try and sneak up on her and squirt the worm medicine on the back of her neck. She can't get to it. Oh fuck I was trying to give the cat a worm tablet recently. She hates that shit and I hate trying to do it. We use the squirt stuff but like I don't, I'm so suss on it because one, so it's like a tiny little, like a teen a teeny tiny toothpaste tube, right?
Starting point is 01:01:07 But it all kind of just comes out in one squirt and you're gonna, got a sneak up on her and like, and just like spurred it all out in like the exact spot in like the nape of her neck where she can't get to it. But, but she hates it but if it like lands on the ground if like it sputters or or she manages to flick some off onto like our floorboards it takes the varnish off the floorboards. Fuck. So I don't know what's in that and I don't feel good about it but I am not giving her tablets because that shit sucks. Truly truly does., thanks for joining us for an interesting discussion, folks. I'd say it went places. That's right. Went some places. Oh, hang on, sorry. What's
Starting point is 01:01:55 the verdict on the last one? Is that a dump him? On the VR porn guy? Yeah. It probably depends what kind of porn was on the thing. I think he's deliberately hiding details. I feel like that's a very relevant piece of information. I definitely want to, I want to know what the, what the deal is. Mm-hmm. Um, with this thing. Because, like I said, if the guy's, if the guy's watching like, a 360-degree video of-like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, if the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi., if the thi., if the the the th., if, if the guys if the guys if the guys watching like if he's watching like just a 360 degree video of like a normal porn star blowing a dude in point
Starting point is 01:02:31 of view or whatever that's pretty vanilla to me it's no different from regular porn right yeah it's just that there's something extremely lame about all the gear like um it's pretty lame my wife has already made clear that just seeing me put on the VR and play a normal video game is already a massive bono killer. Yeah, that's right. That's already like a bridge too far. Yeah, it's already like, I don't need to see this side of you. Now imagine that you were seeing that, but also with like some... with some 3d-be th th th No thanks. You don't need that. I think she's just over it. I don't think she's
Starting point is 01:03:12 just done with the relationship. Not only does this guy not want to just give me some normal fucking but he's on all this shit too. He's investing thousands of dollars in his jack-off rig. He can't tell me that he'd like to smack my ass or whatever, but he can spend fucking 3,500 dollars on a big jerk-off matrix. You know? Spending all that money on the 3D pawn space. Upsitting. Very nuanced. Folks, if you would like to get even more of this type of material, you can head on over to Patreon.com forward slash Punta Vista.
Starting point is 01:03:50 For only five dollars a month, you can get an extra episode every week. And there are many other features and benefits of subscription. We don't have VR yet. We should get on that. We'll get there. We'll get there. Oh and speaking of Friend of the show Trevor and the no cartridge audio podcast, Trev will be doing a 24-hour stream this weekend. Wow. He will be doing that 8 p.m. to 8 p.m. E.S.T. on the 6th and 7th of June. And someone from this podcast is going to be a guest on there during the wee hours of the American morning but the afternoon over here.
Starting point is 01:04:41 It's amazing. It's not you. Although I bet he would love that though. It does sound nice. Yeah. Saturday, it'll be a nice normal time for you. It'll but it'll be like 4 a.m. for him and he'll be going crazy so I reckon you should get in on it. Yeah, I'll try and tag him on that. Right. So we'll post all the links out to that sort of stuff. And thanks for being th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that sort that sort that sort that sort that sort tho that sort thi. thi. thi. tho that sort that sort tho tho tho tho-a tho-a tho-a tho-a tho-a thi thi thi thi that sort thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho-s so tho-s so to thoan. to to to to to thoan. to thoan. thoan. thoan. thoan. tho-s so so tho-s, thanks for, thanks for being with us folks. Cheers. See you next time, yeah. you to be

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.