Boonta Vista - EPISODE 114: Chris Uhlmann: Toilet Cop
Episode Date: September 2, 2019Andrew, Lucy, Theo & Ben discuss the economic stimulus of "asking nicely", the Prime Minister responding to requests for Toilet Law, the curse of the Lazy Millennial, and another instalment of Paging ...Dr. Lucy. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Merchandise available at: boontavista.com/merchandise *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista iTunes: tinyurl.com/y8d5aenm Spotify: spoti.fi/2DBCXGA Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/s?fid=144888&refid=stpr Pocket Casts: pca.st/SPZB RSS: tinyurl.com/kq84ddb
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to Bonte Vista episode 114.
And I'm here working on a chain gang.
Along with my friends.
Over there, trying to lift up a pick over his head is Theo.
Hi, this is way harder than I was expecting.
Like, I was expecting to be hard, but I'm basically dead at this point.
Well, we're five minutes in, and we've got another 14 hours of this shift together.
Right, and you say, but once that's done, that's it, like I get to go home at that point? Let's talk about it when they blow the big flinton flins flins the big the big the big the big thins thins thins thins thins thinin flin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' tho' thin' thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be th. thi. thi. thi. to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to th.. I I I I I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. thea'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'er. to to thea'a'a'a'a'a'a'er. the. to it when they blow the big Flintstones whistle at the end. Okay, all right. How about that?
Sure.
I mean, it's not like I'm going to be here for years or anything, right?
As far as you seem to know at this point, no.
Huh.
And that should get you through this, this shift at the chain gang factory.
Oh, that's lovely. And of course over there there there there there there there there there their their their their their their there there tho tho thi thi thi thi thi, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's thi. that's thi. thi. thin. the. the. the. the. the. the. that's not like that's not like that's not like that's not like that's not like that's not like. that's not that's that enjoying herself with all the annual labor at this intergender
prison is Lucy. Hello Lucy.
Ah, so that's what a chain gang is.
That doesn't sound like fun at all.
No, we're all trying to thee.
I don't think I'm having a good time.
We're all, I don't know, I guess we're like digging out a road that they're
going to make into a road maybe.
. they're gonna make into a road maybe? Maybe we're breaking up rocks. That's the one that looks like it really sucks.
That sounds quite rewarding.
Was intergender chain gangs like one of Hillary's promises?
Yes, I believe so.
And if you had a voted for her, which you couldn't.
We could have had intergender chain gangs right now.
Instead of Agent Orange up there, you know what I'm saying?
I haven't heard that one before.
I've heard any good Trump insults in a while.
And of course, over there just sitting down, picking a splinter under one of his fingernails,
getting yelled out by a guard, his pen.
Hey, you know, what gives anyone the right to tell anyone else what to do?
You know, we're all just like animals.
So like, I don't know about your rules, man.
Like, hey, I'm not harsh in your vibe over there.
You're having a great time with the whip telling other people what to do, and I'm over
here having a great time not breaking up rocks. Yeah. I will say this. Say what you
will about forced labor in a punitive system that doesn't really address the factors behind
crime. I am loving that the songs that we're seeing to pass the time will lay the foundation
for dozens of greater musical traditions later on and I think that's kind of cool.
Speaking of great musical traditions Ben
I'm actually surprised you here this morning because as I understand you've spent the last 24 hours
turning both your mind and body inside out with DMT listening to the new tool album. Well, uh,
you know I did kind of have penciled in my diary, um, open up my third eye by listening to the uh, you know what I can't even think of a way to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to the way to the way the way the to the the to to to to to to to the to to to to the the their the to to to to to to the to the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tr. true true true true true true true true. tradition. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. the listening to the, you know what I can't
even think of a way to describe it that's not just shitty, listening to the
amazing musical stylings of a man who owns a vineyard and he says stuff like ah I'm
having sex but I'm on drugs and hey look one song did something that vaguely referenced the Fibonacci sequence,
so it's like pretty trippy actually.
Imagine songs about taking drugs and having sex, but also somehow not fun at all.
Also the music is bad.
Toll has some baggers. No one would argue.
No one would argue. no one would argue.
I would certainly argue.
You know, who among us, you know when that one song comes on, hasn't gone, oh shit, it's
that one song and it's actually pretty good.
Feehie, you know the one I'm talking about?
Absolutely.
You know, the one that actually got airplay in Australia for some reason. Yeah, premarital sex I think is the song. Yes, old boy, golly gee, do I love having pre-marital sex and I'm not opposed to drugs either,
I think is the full name of the song.
Part of opening your third eye is not asking for their age.
That's so true. Age is just a number.
Whoa. And numbers are all made up, just like money, you know? Did anyone see that thing where Maine had found out that the wine that he made?
Incidentally, it was vegan because usually wines have egg and shit somehow goes into the production.
I'm not sure how it works, but usually they do.
So most wines are not vegan.
He found out that his wine was, and then he like posted a photo or whatever himself
to Facebook like holding bacon in one of the vats or whatever, which is the same energy
as that kid rock, hey authority, hey Chris just giving the figure, well hiding in a doorway
for some reason.
We, um, yeah, I think we've all agreed long ago that the Rubicon has well and truly been crossed. And now, uh, making a big deal out of bacon. the bacon, the bacon, the bacon, the the th th th th th thi thi thi thi bacon thi bacon thi bacon thi bacon thi bacon thi bacon thi bacon thi bacon thi thi thi bacon, like thi bacon, like thi bacon, like thi thi thin, like thi thi thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, like thin, thin, thin, thin, thin ba thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, all agreed long ago that the Rubicon has well and truly been crossed,
and now making a big deal out of people being vegan is infinitely more insufferable than
just being vegan.
Oh, thousand percent.
Yeah. Nobody, nobody actually runs into anybody anymore who is like a vegan and also just
a huge pain in the ass about it.
I think now that you can actually go places that have vegan options, the conversations that
people hated before, where they're like, oh this person's making a big deal about making
sure there's no meat in their food. Whereas now you can go to a restaurant and just be like,
oh cool, I'm ordering the one that doesn't have meat in it and it doesn't suck. Yeah. Well I've been enjoying the album. I'm sure you have.
I was having a listen to it yesterday and I was like this sure is a tool album
baby. Yeah it's an album for Tools. You guys.
Shit! God damn it! Yes. And then after I listened to that I put on the first album and I was like, yeah baby.
It's like on high school again.
Whee me.
So in there at your gaming computer with your headphones and listening to a tool album saying,
yeah baby.
There I am.
Listening to Tool on Winamp while I play Carmageden on the PC.
You're scared of a fully nude lady.
You tweak in a nipples to change the volume levels.
Yeah, my Pamela Anderson in Barb Wire, Winamp skin.
And what a film?
I think this is maybe the third episode that we have mentioned Barb Wire on.
Well I think what I saw you not long ago, I was, oh you have a VHS copy of Barb Wire. I think I need to watch Barb Wire again.
Oh boy.
Oh, the important things that we're all out here doing folks, listening to tool albums,
tweaking the nipples of Cyber Pamela Anderson in a remake of Casablanca on our Winamp skins.
And also trying to propel the economy along.
All important things that we're all trying to do.
And by all of us, I mean the people speaking on this podcast,
and also, I guess, the government?
Possible.
Flauless.
Flauless stuff there. So according to 7 News Melbourne, as an American would say, Australian workers could be on
the verge of receiving a $3,000 wage boost and could is doing some heavy, heavy lifting there,
isn't it?
That's like peak Arnie Day's amounts of heavy lifting, just like muscles bulging out, exploding in every direction, like an overfilled
blimp.
This is like fourth-time Mr. Universe winning Arnold Schwarzenegger levels of lifting.
So could be on the verge.
So not only are you maybe getting the money, you're maybe on the verge of maybe
getting the money. We're edging towards it. You don't want to get the money too quickly.
Or else that it won't be satisfied. It won't be as good. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, if you draw it out. If you just keep waiting. If you're right on the verge, you're getting $3,000. You're just so close to the hand th. th. th. th. the money. th. th. th. th. the money. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the. the the the. the. the. the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the. We the. We're the. We're the. the. the. thea. We're tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. for the money and then you pull it back. Pull it back.
I don't want the money yet.
It's the best to me when I hold out my hand and the treasurer dangles it over my hand and the snatches it away.
He's just lightly brushing a $20 note across your palm.
Like, oh, so close.
Edging for a wage rise. So Treasurer Josh Friedenberg has called on the bosses
of our biggest companies to pump profits back into the economy.
Don't pump them too hard. Not yet, not yet. Instead of lining the pockets of
shareholders. Let's take a quick listen to this clip from 7 News Melbourne.
Australian workers could be on the verge of receiving a $3,000 wage boost.
Treasurer Josh Freidenberg has called on the bosses of our biggest companies to pump
profits back into the economy instead of lining the pockets of shareholders.
For more we're joined by David Wawood in Camber, and David this could see a healthy
boost to the bottom line for many working families.
Eddie, good morning, yes, the Treasurer believes businesses could be doing much more to increase productivity and therefore worker wages. He will use an address today at the Business Council
of Australia to urge the private sector to do more to increase productivity. He believes
some of our best performing businesses are prioritizing shareholder dividends over growth.
Now, readying the ground for that expected fallout from a US-China trade
war, the government wants to lift productivity rates back to around 1.5 percent. Now, that
would raise worker wages by about $3,000 a year. The speech, though, is likely to work
some investors. But Josh Fridentberg has been quoted this morning as questioning whether or not
businesses have been aggressive enough in the pursuit of growth. It is a line the RBA has also taken in recent years warning
a focus on returning cash to shareholders could stifle new production Eddie.
Thank you David.
Huh? Huh? Hmm. So the story is he's just going to ask them to give people money. Come on. Have we tried that yet? Well I would actually say
there's another problem before that point which is that this entire thing is
based on the premise that lifting productivity of workers will increase
wages. Yeah like we haven't been squeezing every last drop of
productivity out of people the last fucking forever. Well you can look at any
of those charts where there is like a clear divergence
between the points where all large businesses became productivity focused in square
scarequotes and everything was all of a sudden about how many people can we get rid of
while just kind of sharing the work of those people around the rest of this department or company
that they were working. Now I'm going to put it to Josh Feinberg that perhaps there's another kind of asking
that the government could do.
Maybe a more, I'm trying to think of the word here, but it's sort of more of a strenuous
kind of asking, maybe more forceful.
Forceful sort of asking to get the businesses to give more of their money that they've squeezed out of people like lifeless rocks and a little drop
blood coming out and they could maybe just um... I'm trying look it'll come to
you I don't want to you you had a lovely fly going there and I'd hate to
interrupt you but um you just you made a reference there to um he's squeezing a rock
and blood coming out I don't think you can draw blood from a stone oh hmm well that's got to be a problem I th th th i i th th th th i th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the tho the the the the the tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeee thoooo the the the the they're they're from a stone. Hmm. Well, that's got to be a problem, I think.
I think maybe he's worked that into his calculations. So they seem to have thought this all the
way through right up until the point where they're just asking businesses, the entities
that exist purely for profit, these things that only survive through a process of natural selection
where only the most profitable ones survive and everything else is shut out where he gets
them to just voluntarily give some cash across.
But I think apart from that, it's all being very well thought out including the drop of blood
thing, so I think I'm right on that one.
I agree to disagree.
I'm wondering at this point since this government has been in office, how many times can you
guys remember hearing variations on, like either asking businesses to pass on profits, asking
banks to pass on...
Come on, just make a little less profit.
To pass on reductions in reserve bank interest rates onto their customers.
How many times have we heard this government say that they are putting power companies
on notice?
On notice.
I hate to be put on notice.
I other concept they're just sitting around and just going, I wish there was someone
who could do something about this.
Oh, well, just have to politely ask these companies that only exist to generate profit
for shareholders.
Just stop generating profit for shareholders.
Just put that on the back burner for a little while.
Hey guys, money please.
Please. Please. We. Uh, please.
Uh, please.
Uh, please.
We're asking really nicely.
Please.
Do I even work this time?
He's taken off his hat.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please.
Please, my economy is starving.
It's very sick.
Yeah, I just wonder how many variations on the very same conversation we're going to
have because it does seem like we're finally getting to the point where a lot of people
are saying, I've kind of noticed that my wages have not risen in a decade or more.
I've sort of become conscious of the fact that people are being sifted increasingly into
segments of society, you might call them classes.
And I'm going to post this on Facebook now.
Doesn't sound familiar.
Now if you were to break these classes up,
would you sort of stack them next to each other?
Or would you say, sort of say that there's sort of like an on-top kind of scenario.
A vertical orientation, maybe like a tiered cake. And like maybe one of them is like an under, it's under the other one, so it's kind of
like an underclass?
Possibly, I'm not making it a war, let's not make this class warfare by pointing out the
truth of things. Yeah, let's ease up on the class war.
Yeah, I'd get more friendly with coal.
I'm being the Labour Party. Oh yeah. We love those guys.
They're doing it.
I hope that Labor Party is listening to this and this makes them shake up their whole act!
I hope they listen to our podcast every week in their little Labour Party office in Parliament House.
They all get together.
They're all around the old radio.
Damn it. Oh, they got us again. We've been podcasted. Oh no.
Yeah, it's going great for labor at the moment.
They're putting up a lot of strong resistance to this in the form of saying, yeah, we agree.
Whatever you said, we agree.
What he said, we agree.
I'm with stupid.
I don't like it, but ironically.
We love it. And we all know that there's, um, there
aren't actually any mechanisms that a government could employ to make any of this stuff
happen. So better off not worrying about it. And instead, focusing on what the government
has been doing for us. They've been doing all kinds of important stuff, making moves, making things happen.
Theo, can you tell us what one of those things is?
So I think one of our most respected journalists, certainly,
probably award-winning.
I haven't looked it up or anything else.
Chris Ulman.
Now, he's been hanging around the women's bathrooms in the Barton officers of the Prime Minister
and cabinet.
And he's taken a little, taken notice of a little sign underneath the women, this is, again,
sorry, this is just imagine if you can, if there's the women's bathroom.
It's right there, and he's sort of outside of the women's
bathroom. Just loitering around it would you say? I would say look I'm not a
thesaurus I can't think of another word better than loitering outside the
women's bathroom. So let's just go he's loitering outside this women's
bathroom. I personally like to picture that he's done the thing where he's pretended to take a phone call, held the phone up up up up.... the the the the the the the the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, the the, th. th. th. th. th. th. the. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, woing, would. their, would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would the w. the w. the w. the w. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their their. their their their their their their their their their the. their their theoooooooooooooome. their. their. their. their their th. their their their their that he's done the thing where he's pretended to take a phone call, held the phone up to his ear, and then snapped a little picture off.
Oh yes, I'll be home by 545, the loud sound of a digital shutter sound effect going off.
He certainly snapped one off outside the women's bathroom with the Barton officers and the
Prime Minister of Cabinet.
And the one that he snapped off is a little sign that says, PN, P, M and C is committed
to staff inclusion and diversity.
Please use the bathroom that fits your gender identity.
Just like a little bat signal being shone up in the sky with the words trans folk have
it too good somewhere.
Chris Allman is on the case.
He's tweeted this little picture and our friend Josh Butler has noted a little timeline here.
2.49, this photo goes up.
Oh, hold on.
What does he say against the photo here?
Sorry, and the entire quote was, meanwhile at the Barton offices of Prime Minister and Cabinet,
like he's narrating a film noir.
With a little, he's put an ellipsis at the end there as well.
He's got the little ellipsis.
That is generating a little interest at the end, a little bit of suspense in the tweet.
I think it's implying that he's being sardonic.
That's my reading of it. It's certainly a joyful that he he's included on this tweet.
Which is incredible because he is a man entirely without joy. But he has
tweeted this from outside the women's bathroom and as as friend of the show Josh Butler
has noted 249, Jerno tweets pick of sign saying use the bathroom that best fits your gender identity
a very uncontroversial statement that I hope, you know just use the bathroom that best fits your gender identity, a very uncontroversial
statement that I hope, you know, just helps the people in PMNC feel a little bit more
safe and belonging in their environment.
435, PM Scott Morrison gets on the blower to 2GB, says the sign is not necessary and
will be sorted out.
Wow.
So, he's gotten on the bloody blower, hasn't he?
That means the telephone for any of our listeners.
Don't, don't...
Don't...Rue.
Don't ruin the mystery.
You don't ask bloody Sieros to start singing in English. Do you? Remarry all of the mystery you don't ask bloody Siguros to start singing in English do you?
I would. I would. I absolutely would.
Take a joy and romance out of this show.
Guys I'm not getting any of this.
Could you? You guys have subtitles or...
That's me at a Cigaros concert.
You, you must go. They're spectacular.
So Morrison has said he's spoken with departmental officials about the signage saying it was political correctness over the top.
Political correctness gone mad.
It's gone mad. It's gone wild in the fun sense.
The titties are out.
There's big old political correctness baps. Fly and free.
Big politically correct naturals.
Now I haven't seen the movie Spring Breakers, but I assume that's what it's about.
You kind of watch spring breakers. I'm hearing more and more of this, mostly on whatever episodes that you're on, and
also whatever I go to the bar with you or your house. And you'll keep hearing it,
because I want to keep hanging out with you more. And it's that it's that consistency
of character that I think really endears you to the people Ben. I also think that's how advertising works, right?
They just try and repeat it to you a lot so that it's always in your brain.
That's what I'm doing to you.
I have been hearing a lot about film Spring Breakers by Harmony Karine.
Just a huge retrospective advertising campaign.
Who did this get up there? How did this get up there? It's? I? I? I? I? I? I I? I? I? I? I? I? I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I'm to thi, I'm, I'm to the, I'm that, I'm that, I'm that's what I'm that's what I'm that, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I that I that I that I that I to that I'm to that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm that I'm doing that I'm doing that's what I'm doing to, I'm doing that's what I'm doing that's what I'm doing that's what I'm doing that's what I'm doing that's what I'm doing that's what I'm doing to to to th multi years after it came out. Like overtakes Avatar.
How did this get up there?
Mostly word of mouth from one guy.
It's ridiculous he said.
And we're not just talking about whatever it is we're talking about.
I don't think this is necessary.
I think people can work out which room to use.
Does he think...
Does he think people don't...
That there's confusion here?
Because it sounds, almost to me, like if you take that sign away, it's telling people which
rooms they can use instead of what was happening before where they were previously working out which room to use, but now I'm not sure he's got this the right way around,
so I might just shoot him a sneaky little, I might try and give him a little call.
I know the phone lines are quite congested at the moment, what with us, you know, deporting
Tamil refugees and all sorts at the moment, but maybe I can try and sneak this
in.
Just quick, quick note on his interview.
I think he was in him on the blower.
There's a generous reading here, right?
So he said people can figure this out on their own.
The sign says, you know, choose the room that's appropriate for your gender identity,
right? Maybe he is actually saying that, you know, this isn't, quick, quick, quick this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is a this is a this is a this is a this is a this is a this is a thiii, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick,the room that's appropriate for your gender identity, right? Maybe he is actually saying that, you know, this isn't an identity thing.
Trans people are the gender that they are, right?
Trans Woman as a woman.
He's saying, Scott Morrison said trans rights.
Maybe he's got some post-gender rights?
Yeah.
God, if I only...
It's definitely not the case, but imagine if that's what it was. What he's saying people know which rude they're supposed to use, they do. What a joyful world I'd been
summoned into for ten seconds. I'm shining a little tortured your eyes and pretending it's the
sun. Now there's the slightly less generous reading of this, which is that the first half of the note says PM and C, Prime Minister and Cabinet, his department,
is committed to staff inclusion and diversity.
And he's saying, we don't need that sign.
He said it's ridiculous.
Oh, sign is ridiculous.
It is ridiculous to say that we are committed to staff inclusion and diversity.
That I think is probably the more realistic take away from this, as he has a very well-documented history of any time that he's to to to to to to to he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is he is the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to staff to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the the the the the the the the thi. the the the the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi realistic take away from this as he has a very well-documented
history of any time that he's asked to respond to any current social issue which involves
like gender identity or trans people.
He drops some variation on the whole thing being ridiculous.
Well he said that um...
It's all very silly to him.
Yeah, the decision for cricket Australia release a policy to aim to allow
transgender and gender diverse people to play sport at the highest level and guidelines for community cricket was heavy-handed and mystifying.
Like a... Like a sorceress.
If only, if only...
That sounds like a combination of like maybe a fighter and a sorceress because it's heavy
handed end.
Oh, that's a little dual class.
Yeah.
Well, um, we'll get out the old dice and roll up some attributes for this, for this potential
character later.
Yeah, but somebody, somebody has cast confusion on Scott Morrison.
That's true.
Stumbling from microphone to microphone. What is this? What is this?
I don't know what any of this is.
Now he said something about gender.
I don't know if I believe in that.
Immediately my vision started swimming.
I didn't know where I was.
Yeah, so he's said,
so this is just in regards to the cricket Australia thing that
he says, pretty heavy-handed to put it mildly.
There's far more practical ways to handle these issues than these heavy mandatory ways
of doing, you know, like allowing people to do the thing.
I think there's other ways to handle them, like just refusing to talk about them.
So why there's a necessity to get the sledgehammer out on this is mystifying me. We need to get the issue and perspective and ensure we can manage it calmly. So again, the heavy-handed
approach being the thing to say, look, we you can just you can just play a cricket
in the in the section that you, you know, identify with versus the calm way which is
stopping people from doing that and also tearing down signs
that say, hey, you're okay.
We don't want people knowing that they're okay and accepted and their place of work.
We love us, Gomo.
Imagine just getting so mad at these signs.
Like I can't imagine your day-to-day existence when you see something that's just like, hey, use whatever bathroom you like and you get so
angry. I got to call 2GB about this. You're right though, like every time I see
this and it is unfortunately something that you know we perhaps are in our
bubble in. But you go on Twitter or especially Facebook or whatever, you know
you've seen the
stuff with the Victorian Labour Party recently where they've wonderfully made it legal for
you to change the gender on your birth certificate without getting gender changing, or sex changing
surgery. And people are just so, this to them is the point where like
reality has just stopped existing. It's a it's cultural Marxism we're just
we're writing history through space we don't know which ways up which
ways down who's male who's female and it, who gives a fuck? It affects you in absolutely
no way. Who cares? Yep. That's what that person was going to tell you anyway when you
asked and you don't really need to ask. Yeah, oh, I don't know who, I don't know what to call
these people. Just, whatever the fuck they say, that's fine cares? Yep. Yep. Who cares? This is of course just
the newest frontier in all of the same same kinds of fixations that very
socially conservative people have like like in the 80s and 90s when it was like
she's married but she wants to be called Ms. Jones at work?
Holy fuck!
But how do I know if she's married or if she's not married?
How do I know if I could slap her on the ass as she walks past?
That's right.
Will I have a husband knocking on my door or not?
It's like, hey, it's almost like if you don't need to see the genitals of anyone that you work with
or fucking suck them, then you don't,
it just doesn't matter, it's fine, you don't need to know any of this stuff.
So I just think this is a beautiful story about how one journalist can use his power, his massive
audience that he has, to make any trans or gender diverse people's lives in that office slightly worse.
I just don't know where he got time to take a break from demonizing renewable energy
to also demonize trans people.
He's got a lot to do.
He's a real shit, isn't he?
He's a real shit of a person.
He's all like, cunt all men.
Yep. And it's either that or he's, you know, trotting out the any Semitic
Frankfurt school cultural Marxism conspiracy theories. Oh, he loves that one.
Straight on to the national broadcaster.
The Jews invented communism and they're trying to destroy the world with
the world with it. That's why Chris Olman impersonation. Yep, and it's a pretty accurate one too. As we respect Jews enough to carry on that mission to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theateateateateateateateatheateathea thoom, it's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. their theathea. theateateateateateateateateateatean theananananananananananananananananan. their their their their their their the on that mission to try and destroy the world with cultural
marches.
That's right.
That's right.
Yes, we all know that a big part of the reason for these signs is that um is because
of young people.
Big millennial pussies.
Why?
Oh, I want to be treated equally.
I don't want to be persecuted because of who I am.
Wha!
Waa!
Snowflakes.
These snowflakes are always saying, until a sign goes up and then I get mad and I tell the
Prime Minister and have him call his friend on the radio.
I don't want to look at this sign.
The sign's turning my eyes. I'm sick of the, oh the, oh the, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I's the sign's the sign's the sign's the sign's the sign's the sign's, I's the sign's, I's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's, the sign's is is is, the sign's is, the sign's is the sign's the sign's the sign's the sign's the sign's the sign's si, I's sign's sign's sign's sign's sign's sign's sign's sign's sign's sign's sign's sign's sign's sign's sign's, I's sign's sign's sign's signs, the sign's signs, the sign's signs, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,... Oh no, I saw it and now I'm... Oh no, that's...
Oh, I saw it and now I have to think about someone else and that makes me furious.
That, of course, I know we've said it before, but that is what all of these things always make me think of is
it's like the perfect, the perfect encapsulation this type of issue of like straight
straight cis dude privilege of hey I saw a thing and for a moment there I was
forced to consider the possibility that like some people out there are
having a different experience in life to me and that's too much it doesn't
so it doesn't affect me so much as it does make them...
Well, I had to think about it.
Well, I had to think about it.
I mean, but it does, it does make their lives better.
So in comparison when you think about it and how everything's relative, their lives becoming better
kind of makes my life a little worse.
Yeah, so really I'm the oppressed one here.
Well it makes their lives better without actively doing anything for me.
So in a way it's taking something.
I hate it when something's win-win.
Hmm.
Or even just a win, but the win isn't explicitly for me.
Yeah, all these all these millennial pussy snowflakes out here demanding to just be treated with basic
human dignity and have equal rights and we can't have it.
That's why an intrepid reporter at the courier mail reporter or perhaps...
That part is a strong word.
No, she is the National Political Editor.
Yeah, I...
So I read this article and I thought, oh this is
this is like if they had any sort of editorial practices which they don't we
all know that the Curia Mail is totally without it tort practices. This would
like half of the shit in this article wouldn't have gone through and
then I looked it up and as Ben pointed out she is the National Political Editor. Yikes. So Ben would you like to take it away? th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, tho, tho, thi, thi, thate, that, the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, thi their their thi thi, that, thateateateateateateateateateateateate, thateateate, thateateateate, thateate, thate, that, that,. Yikes. So Ben, would you like to take it away and tell us what's going on here?
I would absolutely love to.
You know, I'm just going to read you the headline.
And you tell me what you think this is going to be like.
Would it be fair or sort of a kind of objective look at the issue at hand
Millennial greed and entitlement knows no limit
This is gonna be a fun one
You're gonna be just as good as last week
Yeah, I'm a millennial entitlement and great. That's us. A greedy bunch.
So, Robin Banks. My favorite thing about this that I'm going to say in advance is there's
a lot of quotes in here where she's sort of using them as scare quotes that are just, like, she's
just quoting a general sentiment, but I love the idea that she's just seen one millennial
and she's been like that's it. Also she looks quite young. Yeah. Like if she is,
she's almost certainly a millennial just from looking at her picture I think most people would agree.
Well perhaps she's pulling a, uh, pulling a Caleb Bond and letting, letting her allegiances be known to the
Boomer class, you know?
I think, yeah, it's definitely one of those things for like, hey, when you guys install
the boomerocracy, think of me kindly.
I would like to be last up against the wall.
Yeah. All right. And I want the wall to be comfy.
You fucking millennial. Okay, here we go.
Winging millennials do not realize how lucky they are,
and instead of berating baby boomers for being greedy
and ruining the planet,
they should be paying tribute to those before them
for making their life a walk in the park.
And I would like to point out that ruining the planet is in square quotes there. Square quotes, yes. Square quotes.
Square quotes.
Straight up and down.
I just, and I know this very soon to be interjecting, but, isn't it like, are we like,
millennials, the first generation to be like economically worse off than the generation.
We sure are.
Yep.
But our life is a walk in the park.
There has never been a more ungrateful generation who have forgotten
or are too ignorant to understand the sacrifices, the hard work and the social justices they
have today because of their parents, grandparents and great-grandparents. Oh, I know where
this is going to be a, well, women had it bad in the 50s, so why don't you shut up.
Yeah, that's actually entirely it. The
afterpay generation have an I want it now mentality. Yeah we invented the idea
of the afterpay generation. Yeah well how about Jet X the bloody what do you call it
when you go to a store and then you you lay by it the lay by a generation. Well also
after pay is
just fucking credit cards. The credit card for chumps I mean after pay is for jumps
I mean after pay is just the Uber of credit cards where people like oh it's a new
this like a taxi but it doesn't have a sign on the top says taxi. I love it when someone disrupts an industry, you say, as you get out your wallet and
just pay the same amount of money for the thing.
Yeah.
Anyway.
The famous afterpay rent.
It wasn't until 1974 that credit cards are allowed into Australia.
Yeah, the millennials invented those.
That means households saved for what they needed and only spent what money they had. Hold on, except for the period between 1974 and Afterpay.
So when is a, Millennial is 1990 onwards or are we meant, no? It's like 1984.
So then that would be 18, so you'd be 2002 before you could get a credit card? So after pay was founded in 2014, just for the the the the the the the the th..... th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to then that would be 18 so you'd be 2002 before you could get a credit card so
Afterpay was founded in 2014 just for the record
That brand that old-timey thing that all the millennials have been using forever
God damn it
Sorry, I've lost my place here. Yeah, it meant families had to be frugal and taught them the valuable lesson of buying
only what they could afford.
They couldn't Uber eats dinner in if they, brackets, generally women, were too tired to cook.
Millennials have never had to learn the art of saving the same way previous generations have.
What the fuck? What's this mean?
Uh-huh. And it has contributed contributed to to to to to to to to their their their their What does this mean? Uh-huh. And it has contributed to their footstamping when they can't get what they want.
What the fuck? And they... what is she talking about?
There's more on this later.
I'm going to be quiet on this one, because there's a specific thing that she talks about
with home loans later on that we... Yeah, I'll wait till th th th th th th th th. th. th. thuuu th. th. th. th. thu. thu. thu. thu. thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. th. th. th. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. they're they're have been incredible social justice gains over the past 100 years, and this is not just good for society,
but it has a positive impact on the economy as well.
Oh boy.
It has never been easier to be a woman.
Everyone can pay taxes now.
And you got her.
It's never been easy to be a woman, indigenous, disabled, poor or aging.
It is not because of a few protests undertaken today by a few under 30s. This is because of decades of hard-fought wins by generations before.
Now, those hard-fought wins, do you reckon a lot of those
were from young people protesting about stuff?
I wonder if perhaps at the time they may have been categorized as winging?
Hmm, I wonder. What if people they were happening? This is a great, this is a great
genre of thing is the, why didn't you do it like the people in the past who, if I was around
at the time, I would have been writing the same thing about them. Like the whole-
But society is always good as it is, the status quo is the ideal. It's the peak of society. It's as
good as it's ever been so stop complaining. It's time for us to rest on our
laurels. And those laurels look...
This is hot laurels. I love to rest on them. They look comfy. Baby did you do your
laurels again? Younger generations. I hate it when I go to bed at night and I have to like pull the 15 laurels that my
wife's piled up on the bed for some reason.
Put it on the floor.
That many.
Yeah.
What are women doing with all these laurels?
Go on.
Young generations take for granted or are unaware of the tough policy and political battles,
including environmental fights that have made their lives so much easier.
Why would we be unaware?
Fuck you.
In the late 1800s, some women could finally own property, and it wasn't until 1902 that
Australian women could vote in federal elections.
Female trailblazes like Edith Cohen, Emma Miller and Mary Lee pushed to ensure women won their democratic right to vote
in federal elections, however it wasn't until 1943 that women were elected to
federal parliament. In 1928, the first Australian International Women's Day
rally in Sydney saw women take to the streets to demand equal pay for
equal work and a basic wage for the unemployed. And that fight has famously been successful then.
Done.
We're all done.
We've got that sorted out.
Gender wage gap from XXX through to 1928.
RIP in hell.
It seems unimaginable that women could have given up their job for a man once they got married.
That continued to the 1960s.
In 1962, the Commonwealth Electoral Act provided that Indigenous Australia should have the right to enroll in vote at federal elections. This is just a list of things from history and it's quite
long. Not long after, a couple of white women chained themselves in a Brisbane public bar
to protest the fact they were banned from drinking there. Women's rights were not codified in Australia's laws until 1984 when the Sex Discrimination
Act was enacted.
I'm having a flashback here.
I'm having a flashback too.
Was it a Bolt article?
No, no, no, no, just after the election, right?
Ah, the article that was like, what about these things the liberals did 50 years ago. I shouldn't feel guilty for voting for
the liberals. All my friends yelled at me and I shouldn't have to feel guilty
about it because of the following list of things that the Liberal Party did.
Like before they were the Liberal Party in 1927 and they did this thing.
And like the entire thing was just somebody doing this laundry list of,
here are things that occurred at some indeterminate point in the past enacted by other people as a
result of protesting whatever activism by a different generation of people and
question mark, question mark, everyone should just shut up now.
Yep. Wonderful way of writing a thing. We can all agree. Look I've got a few more
things to rattle off here from the list of things that happened in history. The National
Disability Insurance Scheme is now operational to help people the disability and there's
famously been no problems with the NDIS. It's so functional everyone loves it. In 2008 the then-then-run then run government... The NDIS, that's another perfect example of of of of of of th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th it. In 2008, the then run governments.
The NDIS, that's another perfect example of, yes, this thing was enacted by a government
and then a conservative government got in and said, cool, cool, you know what we fucking
hate doing?
Spending money on any kind of social service or good.
So we're just going to keep gutting all of the resources out of this thing until we have like a skeleton framework of underpaid, underpaid carers working around
the country in these hideously underfunded places full of like your Parkinson's stricken
loved ones, crapping all over themselves in their beds, and no one's coming to look after them.
But that's fine because it exists.
So no one should kick up a fuss, if I can ask him for more money for them, you should be grateful
because that agency didn't exist in the 50s.
Does she also think that these things just pop into existence, like unbidden? That you're like, you just wake up, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you just, you just, you just, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, th, thus, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and, and, and th, and th, and th... And, th. th. th. th. th. thin, and, and, and, and, and to, and, and, and, and, and, to, and, and, to, to, to, to, to thin, thin, thi. thus, thus, honey, I just see here in my year oldy newspaper because everything
from 1943 is good, that they've enacted the National Disability Insurance Scheme.
Nobody asked for it, but they said the conservative government, they've just gone ahead and
gone, you know what, we're going to spend some money. We don't, we weren't pressured.
This isn't after huge public backlash.
This isn't after a significant campaign of people in the industry, experts and just people
with regular hearts that beat.
They just did it with no winching involved.
Incredible.
Well, yeah, she thinks that there was just a nice benevolent government sitting
around at one point saying, what can we do that people would like?
That's right, women didn't get the vote by winging.
They didn't get the vote by a naggin for it.
That's for sure.
They got it because a man gave it to them.
Thanks, thanks men.
Thanks, men. Folks, if you'd like to hear Lucy get really to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th. th. th. tho tho th. the the that. tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the vote the vote the vote the vote the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the vote the vote the vote the vote the vote the vote the vote the vote the vote the vote the the the vote th. th. th. thi. thi. that. that that that that that that that that that thean. that that that that that that th mad. Go back, that's a classic episode.
Go back and listen to an episode of Oz called Thanks Men.
Good times.
Wonderful about all of the accomplishments.
Thanks Man, episode 56.
We can thank men for.
Yeah, so all of these things just magically happen by themselves.
That's cool.
Oh, the next example is going to make you even happier.
Okay.
In 2008, the then-Rodd government's same-sex law reform package passed Parliament.
Just a note for internationalistness.
That was not same-sex marriage.
That was recognizing like same-sex couples and putting in civil unions. What happened was, and this is how she describes it, and gay
marriage was legalized in December 2017 by the then Turnbull government. Now
I guess it's 2017, such a long time ago, December 2017, you know it's one year and
eight months ago. Now did they did they just legislate it like they they just
because they had the majority government they just put in a piece of legislation and they just legislate it? Like, they just, because they had the majority government, they just put in a piece of legislation
and they just gave the country same-sex marriage.
They were sitting around wondering what kind of favors they could do for queer people.
There's a public majority and they went, well, that's the will of democracy.
They looked at a decade of polling that showed over 65% support for same-sex marriage in the country and then they just legislated it, right?
Or I think I'm having a bit of a flashback. They actually used some weird bullshit archaic
thing available to them from the Australian Bureau of Statistics to do a survey of the entire country.
That's not a referendum because it was in no way legally binding.
They essentially used it as a big opinion poll,
even though we had a decade of opinion polls.
And then they begrudgingly legislated it
after campaigners and protesters worked really hard
to get people to actually vote for it,
because it was a non-compulsory vote.
But, Ben, they did take the credit for it, and that takes work. Oh, yeah, true.
So I guess if you've only got one sentence to describe it, you'd sort of gloss over, yeah,
all of that.
Yeah, that's...
The part that kind of disproves your thesis and you want to just concentrate on the
one part, uncritically, this might be what you're saying. Is that then when we were supposed to stop complaining? Like that's the end point? I believe so.
Decembent 2017 is when we couldn't complain anymore.
Yeah because as we all know, as we've just discussed, all queer people are now being treated
completely equally at all levels of society and government.
There's nothing going on, there aren't any conservative prime ministers making national
issues out of signs on bathrooms or anything. So shut the fuck up. You're done improving society.
It ended. Society cannot get better than this. I think it's worth, we have pointed this out in the
past, but it's worth pointing out again, Ben, that in the context that you're talking about
it, all of that was also to change a definition in the Marriage Act, which a conservative government first changed without
doing any kind of vote or referendum or national debate or anything. They just said,
ooh, if we don't change this, then gay people will just be able to get married and have
dignity and live alongside each other in their homes and... You just hammer that ming on. Yeah, of course they needed a mandate from society to change to to to to to change to to to to to married and have dignity and live alongside each other in their homes. And just hammer that mangle.
Yeah, of course, they needed a mandate from society to change it when the change was good
to them.
I mean, sorry, the other way around.
You need that mandate if you think it might be bad.
But otherwise, just do whatever the fuck you like.
You can do anything.
the of shit.
It is true, younger Australians are finding it harder to buy their first home.
Partly because of low wage growth and income to house price ratios have increased...
Well, as we've discussed though, there's nothing you can do about low wage growth other than say...
Please? Please? Please.
More money, daddy, put money into economy.
Income to house price ratios have increased from five times the medium income in the
1990s to seven times today in capital cities.
That's a great point.
From the 90s to now.
Hang on, hang on.
All right.
So there's another line, But here is a line that like this is this is
the sort of bullshit that you would put on your like a uni assignment that you're
riding at like 1050 on a Friday night when you've got a thesis and everything
that you find keeps fucking disproving it. You still it's too late to change it right.
So she says to seven times today in some capital cities.
She's right, but some capital cities means the lower end.
The current, the median income,
I was in like seven times the worst and lowest wage.
Income to house price ratios in Sydney are around 12. Jesus Christ. You
would think that the way that's phrased implies that that's the upper bounds
of the scale, doesn't it? That's exactly right and this is why and she knows it.
She is being functionally dishonest here, right? Because she needs to prove a point
because this is the team that she's on and fuck reality right and so when we're we the the the the th the th the the th the we we we we we we we we we we we we we we the we're the the th th th th th th th th th prove a point because this is the team that she's on and fuck reality.
And so when we're talking about the inability for our generation to save money, right?
It's funny that she separated those two points to opposite ends of the article, where she
goes on to talk about the fact that we currently have to, you know, so we're talking a difference, well she's talking about a difference between the 1990s and now, right, a period of 29 years.
What would happen if you looked back, say, to the 60s?
Hmm.
I'd rather you didn't.
And like, and this is why she's separated because she knows that she is disproving her own article here. Like, you know, everyone can go and talk to to the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, tho, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiou, tho, twoomoomoomorrow, twoomoomoom an their, their, their, their, their, their, their, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two, two., to. And, to. We. We's, tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo can go and talk to, you know, relatives or, like, I, just the other,
like, week, I was talking to my grandma and she said that when she bought her house, it
was $20,000 and they paid it off in seven years, right?
And she didn't work at that time.
Oh, but I'm sure the house was, you know, tiny, like a little one bedroom sort of thing. It's a sort of three bedroom sort of deal. Yeah, but what kind of sign was on the bathroom, though?
Ah, see, they didn't need a sign, except wipe when you're done.
Peep who and come.
Classic Grandma. Classic Grandma.
Classic Grandma.
Right, but then she's talking about the, you know, well, you know, women don't even stay in the household anymore
and since the 1960s, all this shit.
Yeah, that's because they fucking can't.
They have to work or else you don't own a house, right?
What happened in the 60s and 70s?
It's fucking conservative governments repeatedly got in. They broke, as Andrew was saying, the thiiiiiiii, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and classic, and classic, and classic, and classic, and classic, and classic, and classic, and classic, and classic, and classic, and classic, and caughea, and classic, and ca, and classic, and c, thia, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, thi's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, c, c, c, c-classy., c-classicca, c-classysos, c-classynec, c-sk, c-sk, c-sk, c-sk, their 60s, their 60s, their, they broke, as Andrew was saying, the link between increases in productivity
and increases in wages and quality of life, and it all just became fucking profit, right?
But she has to spread this out across the entire article lest somebody join the fucking dots for her.
And we love joining those dots. Join the dots! Join the dots!
Join the dots! Oh, I'm at Pizza Hut with the Works. for her. And we love joining those dots.
Join the dots!
Oh, I'm at Pizza Hut with the works.
I've got my paper placemat with a puzzle on it.
I've got the short pencil, the short red pencil,
and I'm ready to join those mother fucking dots.
What's, uh, I'm going to keep trying with this.
So this next part's fun as well. Some parents tell their kids how hard it was
when Australia's official cash rate was 17.5% in the 1990s. Many families could not afford
repayments and lost their homes. Well, if they didn't have a, whatever the buy now pay later
attitude is, maybe they would have just bought their house outright. But no. They have to have it now. They need that instant gratification. That's why they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they get they they get they get they get they get they get they get they get they get their their their their their their their their their their cash their cash their cash their cash their cash their cash their cash their cash. their cash. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their. their. their. their. their. their house outright, but no. Entitled. They have to have it, yep.
They need that instant gratification.
That's why they get home loans.
Boomer afterpay.
And I wonder why...
And I wonder why we're sitting on like a 3% cash rate at the moment.
Like, I don't know, look she's a political reporter here, she
would know what's what's going on. I kind of get the impression in the fact that
it's after repeated attempts to restoke the economy after we dug up all of the
fucking coal and sold our generation out and now the economy is in the
shitter and the only thing we can do is repeatedly drop interest rates.
But I'm no money man.
That is true.
You are no money man.
I'm no professor of dollars.
My goodness.
The fact is, Australia and home ownership has been falling for three decades and it is
more complex than the quote greedy baby boomers with their franking credits and benefits
from their free
education. She just keeps listing all these great reasons. Homeownership also goes to the psychology
of the new generation. Oh, it's because millennials have a case of psychology.
Yeah, well whereas the previous generation had the psychology of I want to own a house and
I will. Millennials famously have the psychology of I want to own a house and I will.
Millennials famously have the very greedy psychology of I want to own a house and also I'm going to die at 40 when the planet also dies with me.
So many of these greedy millennials, they don't want to move to the boondocks or the outer
city ring because it is not convenient. They want their first choice of home today
whereby generations before were willing to buy what they could what they could
afford. It wasn't an all-or-nothing proposition. So I spoke to my neighbor when
I've moved in here and I'm in the sort of outer suburbs of Brisbane
Brisbane and when she moved in here it was a dirt track. Mmm. And now Brisbane is just fucking just goes on as far as you can see.
This is what shits me about all of this stuff is that like any of the major cities,
Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne, any of these places do just continue to sprawl onwards, forever
outwards.
Yeah. You know, they're making more and more new suburbs all the time.
She's literally describing the failings of our city planners across Australia.
But also like who the fuck does she think is living in these new suburbs that are constantly
popping out like further and further into the outskirts of Melbourne other than
young families who can't afford to live anywhere near the inside of the city?
Like are boomers like buying these and also living in them?
Are they separating so they can live in both houses?
Well, they're buying them and renting them to other people, yeah.
This is fun, thanks Ben.
Hey, you're welcome.
Uh, oh God.
Nevertheless, the Morrison government will now help home buyers save for a deposit.
Only a 5% deposit will be needed because the government will guarantee the additional
amount to reach the 20% means borrowers will not have to pay mortgage insurance.
But you still have to pay that.
But you still have to pay that.
You still have to pay that the whole kind of million dollars for your house though, right?
There's a place in Canberra right.? You know the construction company Grocon?
So they're building like,
they're doing the classic move of building like high-density housing
in a place where nobody wants high-density housing.
And they're doing that like in the sort of CBB, in the city in Canberra. And they have, like, I walked past their office on my way to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to work to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their the sort of CBB, in the city in Canberra.
And they have, like I walk past their office
on my way to work every day,
and they have this big sign up that is like,
hey, don't have a deposit, no problem.
We will pay the deposit for you.
And so they have like all the stuff where they're so desperate, obviously, to move apartments in this complex that they're building because this is tends to be what happens in camera somebody builds like a
You know a 15 story apartment complex building and for you know the last 12 months of construction they have signs up saying last apartments almost gone
You better hurry up and buy it buy an apartment. They all say that it's like the closing down Grab shop sale absolutely they all say that for like the last year of construction and then the place opens and you can see that like
10% of the apartments are occupied
but yeah Grocon's thing now is like hey, we will just let you do the whole
thing without a deposit. And it obviously comes across as one of these things where it's like,
yeah, what could go wrong? At what cost?
Yep. Fucking Crocon. Like no con.
Oh, damn. Damn. Oh, it goes on. Oh, no. It is also ridiculous for
millennials to blame those before them for the effects of climate change.
Australia's opposite. Well, let's hear it out.
Australia's prosperity is in part built off the back of resources. As a country, Australia is moving to decarbonize, but it cannot be done all at once because
it will kill the economy.
And it is ironic that there are calls for a more aggressive push to decarbonize, given
there's concern about the lack of full-time jobs and insecure work.
Oh do you think that lack of full-time jobs and insecure work is maybe like contributing
to all the other fucking points? I love this type of piece where it's somebody like laying out all of these disparate issues
in our society like low wage growth, like the failure to decarbonize as an economy, the difficulty
with buying a house, people being unable to save the now gigantruant deposits required to buy
extremely expensive housing, all of these different things, and somehow just
never actually drawing a line between any of them and the clear relations
that they all have to each other. It's very cool. It's good to me.
You want you want to have no climate change but you also want a full-time job?
How about you have neither? What are we want to have no climate change, but you also want a full-time job? How about you have neither?
What are we going to do?
And that's what you get.
Oh, join the dots.
All right, wrap this bad boy up, we get there.
While it is true Australia's that a lost decade on energy and climate policy, innovation and
technology will not stand still.
Methane from burps and farts is a greenhouse gas 28 times more powerful than carbon dioxide,
CSIRO says now.
Okay, here's the other sentence.
Yeah, sorry, Ben.
No, I think we're making the same point.
Wow, 28 times, that sounds like it would be 28 times more than CO2, right?
That you would go...
Oh, yeah, that's a much bigger problem.
We should get rid all these cows.
So, hang on, I'm just going to do a quick, hang on, let's do this.
What type of calculator are you doing this?
Now, my window start menu is totally broken, so I'm not going to get calculator open but I think that's about 90 I say 99.87% of the
if you did that 28 times and then CO2 is this one little time there.
That's that math sounds incorrect but I definitely higher than 95%
now let's read that second sentence About 10% of Australia's greenhouse gas emissions
come from livestock burping and fighting.
Then what does...
But that 28...
She told us that really scary 28 number where I had to rethink everything that I knew
about...
10... and that's...
That's almost the inverse.
Huh.
So, but then that leaves...
What I'm confused. Sorry that that leaves 90%
there that's not up for grabs. Just up for grabs. It could be anything. It could be anything at all.
And like this is so she's writing this article in the context of like the extinction rebellion protests and stuff and part of that is about cutting down on red meat consumption.
Yeah, it's in there.
Because of its impact.
So like, if she's scaremongering about the chunk of it
that is coming from agricultural stuff
to distract from the fact that it's industrial, which I mean, it's wrong,
but also that's kind of the point people are agitating about. So really, I don't, but it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the, it's the the the the the the the th. thi, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that, that, that, that, because, th. But also that's kind of the point people are agitating about, so really, I don't...
Oh, but it's okay, because now the University of Sunshine Coast researchers believe a
pig seaweed added to cow feed could completely eliminate their methane production. So it was solved. So we don't have to think about anything.
So the 10% solved, the whatever else, that's basically it. Yeah, so that's okay. And then in the coming decades or so, Australia will see the biggest intergenerational wealth,
intergenerational shift in wealth as baby boomers leave their earnings to their children
and great-grandchildren.
I wonder if millennials will be complaining then.
I wonder if they'll be happy when their grandparents die.
And also inheritance. Yeah, leave my entire economy down to the who's-who the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's entire economy down to the who's who of who gets inheritance.
I wonder if it has occurred to her that perhaps, um, inheritance is possibly the largest mechanism through which intergenerational wealth and poverty is perpetuated?
Hmm. No, I'm gonna say no.
Because the thing is like everybody
gets an inheritance right and you guys are getting I'm on a pretty sweet
three-mill nest egg you guys got that three-mill nest egg there? The what?
Everybody says, huh? But I've got a nest egg. Yeah I've got've got this lush portfolio on all these properties.
My grandmother is the Duchess of Snorkleton.
And my father's some sort of railroad baron.
My father owns 15% of Lockheed.
So, you know, obviously we're all getting that.
Yeah, I mean, look, someone must own the other 85%.
Certainly.
Anyone else getting those good Raytheon dollars?
I love getting my Raytheon bucks.
But maybe, you know, this is like an opinion piece, right?
From our friend Renee Valaris.
So maybe this is, it's unfair to judge her for this style of writing, right? It's not necessarily, you know, their their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, someone, th, someone, th, th, th, someone, someone, someone, th, someone, someone, someone, th, someone, someone, th, someone, someone, someone, th, th, someone, th, someone, thi, th, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, someone, th, someone, th, someone, th, someone, th, th, th, someone, th, th-s, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, someone, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, someone, th, tho, tho, someone, tho, tho, someone, tho, tho, tho-s, thoo-s, thoo-to-s, someone, someone, someone, someone, thooo-s, someone, thooo-s, someone, someone, tho- is, it's unfair to judge her for this style of writing, right?
It's not necessarily, you know, there are facts in there, but it's a take, it's not reporting.
So it'd be rude to judge her journalism on this. So what I'm going to give you is the headline
and two paragraphs from one of her bits of reportage and then obviously we can see that she's a much better journalist than how she comes across here.
Jail a hard cell for Wimpy Extinction Rebellion Protester.
That's a headline.
Now she said hard cell with a season.
Yep, it's a little joke there.
Although she probably didn't write the headline, so we can't give her credit for that one.
A cocky climate change protester, arrested by police for blocking Brisbane streets, whined
about missing his mum in the watchhouse and complained that cell conditions left him feeling
dejected.
Vegetarian protester, Morgan Quinn, vegetarian protest, fun, arrested on Rebellion Day, August
6th with about 70 other activists, belly ached about the movie played in his cells,
losing his ability to keep up with the charade of masculinity and the apple with a bowl of
cabbage he got for lunch while carnivores received a red rooster chicken wrap.
I love the idea of the cops going out to buy red rooster.
The official supplier of the lunches and meals for the Brisbane Watchhouse. Red Rooster is cancelled. Yep.
If you're going to get a chicken feed, do what everybody else does, get a Woolies Barbecue
Chook and a coal slur from the refrigerated section. And remember to steal it. Just walk on it.
Yeah, please don't give them money.
Put your chicken down, self-serve check out,
and then put it down as, put it through as brown onions,
and then get the hell out of there.
My goodness. Well, fantastic stuff there.
Fantastic stuff all around, and I'm glad that we have this lady here to help solve some other problems.
We are of course talking about.
Dr. Lucy. I think it's the re- Every time I hear that theme, I've just, I imagine the ending of Madman
with Doled Rapp.
I think it's the re-...
Every time I hear that theme, I've just... I imagine the ending of Madman with Dol Draper
sitting lotus position, completely calm.
And at the last moment, just a little smile of knowledge.
Wonderful. Like I know the universe.
So of course, Paging Dr. Lucy is our segment in which Lucy offers relationship advice
to the worst people on Reddit. So what do you go for us this week? Lucy.
Oh do I have to read this one? Yeah you do I put it in. I don't like it. I get
choose who walks through the hospital doors.
Oh. Stay here's the credit card. Am I the asshole for wiping my feet on my girlfriend's facial towel?
I can tell you right now that you are.
I hate walking on carpeted floors with wet feet after a shower, so I dry myself with a towel,
reasonable, which I assume is common. It sure is.
My girlfriend has this small cloth that I've seen her use while washing her face.
Since we've started living together about five months I've been using her cloth to wipe
my feet because the texture feels so good. I can tell you right now that's an
expensive makeup towel. It's not just a hand towel, it's something special.
You beat a real piece of shit. You're like you're like wiping
your feet on her like 7070 Sephora makeup remover.
I think.
She recently caught me doing this and blew up, saying that I'm dirty and freaking out about her skin cleanliness or something.
She's upset at the idea of unknowingly washing her face with something that has touched my feet, but I feel my body is exceptionally clean since I've just gotten out of the shower.
She's disgusted with me.
Claims you shouldn't wipe your feet, face arse with the same towel, but I believe it's not
a big deal.
Come on, it's the same clean body after a shower.
Hmm, nobody gets crotty feet after being standing in a shower.
In a wet, hot shower. Note that she's not scared of dirt. Frequently
gets messy while skateboarding outside. I love the... I love the...
Uh-huh. Well, if you have had dirt on you at any point, then you should not have
any objections to me wiping the soles of my feet upon your face. Wonderful. What a hypocrite.
She's been dirty at some point in her life. You hate having your bones broken, but yet you'll skateboard outside.
I'm very curious.
So I don't know why she's suddenly so sensitive about this.
Maybe she's upset because I took her facial towel, but I strongly believe we should
share items since we lived together.
The most obvious question to ask off the back of this is why can't he dry his feet on
the towel that he was using at the start?
Just the regular face towel?
Maybe the bath mat?
Yeah, the bath mat that you would stand on.
Yeah, but it's the lovely soft texture of the expensive one that's the nice feeling. the lovely soft. that tho- th th th th th th th th th th th th that's that's that's tow tow tow tow tow towl. towl. towl. towl. towl. towell. the the the their towel towl. towel. towel. towel. towl. towl. towl. tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow tow towl. towl. towl. towl. towe towe towe towe towe the the towe the towe the towe towe towe towe towe towe towe towe towe towe doesn't he buy his own fucking towel? Uh because they live together now and they're meant to share stuff.
I share everything. You just got to share everything. I don't even want to share the same towel.
You don't share the same body towel with your partner.
Right. Being de facto is having conjunctivitis. Mm-hmm. Anyway, is she too sensitive, am I really being an asshole? Edit.
Okay fine, maybe I'm an asshole.
I'll look into my own towel.
There we go.
I'll look into it.
I'll see if the technology is there.
There's gonna be a follow-up to this where he has bought an identical one of
these expensive towels and they're getting them mixed up. Oh no. I've thiii I I I I I I I I their th. th. th. th. th. th. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, tho, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, tho, tho, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thooo. thoooo. tho. tho. tho. th. towels and then they're getting them mixed up. Oh no, I've been
using my foot towel. My oh gross my girlfriend's been using my dirty foot
towel on my face. Yeah.
Oh, I'll, oh, there's just so many unanswered questions there. And the big one is why.
Why are you doing this to your feet and
also to your girlfriend? Don't tell me you've got another foot related one of these.
Oh, I guess I do. I didn't put this in here. I didn't put this in the document.
How they get in there. It's a mystery. Am I the asshole for sniffing a girl's feet because she wouldn't put them down in the cinema. Title, pretty much says it all.
I was watching The Lion King with my mates on Thursday when a group of girls,
probably from some sorority.
Ugh, yuck.
Ugh.
Came in, sat right behind us in an otherwise empty theater.
They were chatting loudly and the one behind me tried to put her legs up on my seat and push forward. I'm a pretty large dudet. I don't know
what that means. It means this is written by a woman Lucy. Oh right but she's
like not a sorority girl. She's not like the other girls right. So I
pushed back easily and successfully. Then she slid forward in her to the sandal feet up on either side of my head. I I I I her and flipped her off. No, you didn't, but she just ignored me.
Then a revelation came upon me and I started to loudly sniff at her feet and lick my lips.
She was asleep, okay?
So it was a good 30 seconds before she yelped and put her feet down in disgust.
I sat undisturbed for the rest of the movie, proud that I had successfully asserted
my dominance. My mates had a good laugh about it afterwards. And then everyone clapped.
Everyone had seen the clapped. And that dudeet's name was Albert Einstein. Oh. This is just a clear,
like, this is what I would have done if I was a stronger, tougher person. The conversation we all have with ourselves in the shower when we think about an awkward thi the th a thi thi thi thi the the thi thi thi thi the awkward thing thi thi thi thi thi thi. their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their thi. to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th tougher person, the conversation we all have with ourselves
in the shower when we think about an awkward thing that happened to us.
What happened was this person jammed a foot into the back of their neck and they sat there
and put up with it because they were too embarrassed until they left the sitter at the
end of the movie, cowed and ashamed.
Pretty much. But also even if that was what you was the their thia was thiiiiiiiioled. thi. thi. thiated. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I was thi. thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was thi. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was. I was. I was. I was. even if that was what you actually did, you're still a piece of shit.
Like, I wouldn't be happy about somebody putting their sandaled feet on either side of my head in the movies,
but I would turn around to them and say,
can you please not put your sandaled feet on either side of my head?
But this thing I'm paying money to be at. I think being like, hey I'm gonna gross this
person out by being a fucking freak in public does not really shore up your
credibility on that front. Yeah I think I probably in that situation would just
move. I feel like I'd just be like okay well you guys are shitheads I'm gonna go
sit somewhere else. And if it followed me I'd just be like, okay, well, you guys are shitheads, I'm gonna go sit somewhere else.
And if it followed me, I'd keep moving. And if they followed me again.
You're pretty weird at that point.
Yeah, it's strange, but...
Huh. Well, I think the verdict there is that both of you people suck.
Stop putting your dirty feet on everybody else.
Oh, I guess from, from that one probably got the everyone here is an asshole
rating. We can only go see it. So yeah that's that's the way it is for people
doing weird dirty foot shit to strangers. And that is where we're gonna leave it for
this week. If you would like an extra bonus episode of the show every week, you can head on over
to Patreon.com forward slash Bunter Vista.
That also gets you access to our Discord, our community of listeners who like to chat to
each other instead of doing any work at the office.
That's the way it should be.
Not me though.
I'm working hard. Don't check the logs.
Don't check the logs.
You too can join our Patreon, get access to the discord and see that Theo is a liar.
For this week's crime pass, take $3,000 from your employer.
Yeah. Because they basically owe it to you anyway. And if anybody asks what happened, you can say, oh, well, that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the their their their their their their the logs. the logs. the logs. Don, don't the logs. Don, don't the logs. Don, don't the logs. Don, don't. Don, don't. Don, don't. Don, don't. Don, don't. Don, don't. Don, don't. Don, don't. Don, don't. Don, don't. Don, their their their their their their their their their the the the that's the the the that's the the the the the the the the their their their their the their the the the their the the their logs. the the the the the logs. the logs. the logs.. Because they basically owe it to you anyway and
if if anybody asks what happened you can say oh well the treasurer asked you
to pass this on to me so I was just being proactive which you're always
telling me to do boss and they can't really argue with that you know
that's true. Also you can show them the crime pass so yeah
you're off the hook. Beautiful.
Right that's it folks. Thanks very much and we'll see you next week. Bye.
Bye. Hi. you