Boonta Vista - EPISODE 124: I Can't Quilt You

Episode Date: November 12, 2019

The crew is here and covering an unfortunate week for the NSW Police Minister, a disastrous month in gender reveals, a crisis in the golliwog epicentre of Australia and important news from nature. **...* Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at mailbag@boontavista.com! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to Bonteto Vista episode 124. I'm Andrew and thanks for joining us on what looking out my window is a nice sunny Sunday morning. But you know we don't have time for rest on on the Lord's Day. You know what I'm saying, right Ben? Uh-huh. Where's this going? You know that, you know that God guy that we're all, we're always thinking about? Just thinking about God. Um, I don't know, it seems like a cool guy. Hey, thanks for creating the universe.
Starting point is 00:00:59 I do lots of stuff in it. Yeah, that's most almost all of the things that you do take place in the universe. That's absolutely true. And what about you Lucy? Please give us your lifetime of religious experiences. Well I'm getting some recently. We got a we got a booklet in the mail. I opened one page and it said something about prostitutes and homosexuals and I decided it probably wasn't for me. Hey, sounds like a great weekend to be. Can you close this bad boy back?
Starting point is 00:01:31 Don't threat me with a good time. Yeah. Right. And of course, Theo, a man who is fallen from the face of God is also here. How are you? And it's strange my complete lack of, you know, I guess religious beliefs or what have it, considering that I was actually physically made, I believe, to be an altar boy. Definitely.
Starting point is 00:01:54 The hand of the creator was involved in forming my body. You stood back, no, pastier. No. Little pastier. Can we go Mika? you stood back, no, pastier. No, little pastier. Can we go meeker? Oh dear, I'm daring me. I will inherit the earth so, that's nice.
Starting point is 00:02:15 You're going to refuse it though. They'll be like, hey, it's your time, Mr. Meek. The earth is yours, you be, oh, I couldn't. I couldn't possibly. A little old me. No, you should keep it. I'd probably just mess it up anyway. Oh, I'm starting to think that's what the billionaires are relying on, you know?
Starting point is 00:02:37 Huh. These guys who are all, hey, I think I know how to spend my $100 billion dollars the best. Geez, way to make a political injury. We're all just. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their thi their thiol-I thi thi thiol- thiol- thiol- if their their thiol- if thiol- if thiol- if thiol- if thi, you thi th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thate thate thate that that to that that that to that to that that best. Geez, way to make a political injury. We're all just having a good time. Yeah, come on. I was going to ring politics into it. Jesus. We're all just talking about inheriting the earth over here, at some point.
Starting point is 00:02:54 When are the meek going to get some airtime, you know? That's what the show is all about, I thought. the that show show is th that's the paradox really, isn't it? That you start to get some airtime as soon as you really start to stand up and assert yourself, at which point you're no longer that meek. It's a real catch-22. Yeah, that's not really the meek getting the airtime at that point. So I hope you're proud of yourself, their thike. I'm not. Taking some shine from the meek yet again.
Starting point is 00:03:26 My goodness. I'll tell you who's not too meek. These god damn police out here. And what is the worst state in Australia as far as the police are concerned? Is it Queensland? Or are we talking New South Wales? Oh, this week it's definitely got to be New South Wales. The week before Victoria had their week in the saddle.
Starting point is 00:03:48 That's New South Wales's turn, but... We all take a turn. Queensland will get ours. Yeah, I feel like it's a bit... A hot potato that is passed around between Queensland, Victoria and New South Wales. You don't really hear too much about... I mean, you know th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that all that all that all that all that all that all that all that all that all that all that all tha tha tha tha, tha, tha, thau, tha, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, tok, tok, tok, tok, tok, tok, tok, tok, tok, tok, tok, tho, tho, tho. tho. We're, tho. We're, tho'a'a'er, tho'er, tou'a, the the their, toke, too much about, I mean, you know, there are all sorts of terrifying abuses of indigenous people over on the other side of the country, we don't report on that. So, well none of us live there, you know? Yeah, and the media doesn't seem interested, so apparently I think there's probably no problem
Starting point is 00:04:17 if no one's saying anything about it. Not a problem. It would be on the news, that's right, if you would, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, thin, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, the, well, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, see it. I mean, except for when you know the horrifying reports leak out about the way that our Northern Territory jails are run and what occurs in them. But how many children are in them? But we try and bury that as quickly as possible. Because no one likes feeling bad? No, it's very true. That's a down a story. Hmm. So the new new new new that been truly getting their shine on this week. There is a post here that I would like Lucy to read out for us. You want me to, oh the Twitter post? Is it Twitter or Facebook? Oh it was a Facebook. Oh it was a Facebook post. Oh it was a Facebook post. Okay. Oh, God. I did say this one. You can sing it if you want. Hit us with this post from the New this this this the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new the new th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. the. the. the. true. truly. truly. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their their their their. I do that. You can sing it if you want. Hit us with this post from the New South Wales Police Force. New South Wales Police Force says, if you want to be my lover, you've got to get my consent.
Starting point is 00:05:15 It won't last forever, you've got to ask again. If you want to be my lover, consent I've got to give. Ask me don't be sleazy, because that's the way it is. Hashtag no means no. Powerful. I would get money on the fact they have stolen this from a tweet. This seems like a tweet from leftist Harry Potter, for sure. Um, I guess there's another question here which is like did the spice girl's
Starting point is 00:05:47 song wannabe come out I'm gonna say over 20 years ago? Yes certainly. 1996 is when the song that this is parodying the lyrics of came out. Not a lot of context given that that they're doing like a spice girls bit. Spice girls the the the song that thi's the the the the the the the the the the the song the the song the song the song the song the song song song song song song song song song the the the the the the the the the the the the song song song song song song the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the song song song song song the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the of context given that they're doing like a spice girls bit. Spice girls of course being the famous girl group that broke up many years ago. Occasionally reunites for a bit of money. New South Wales police force of course being famously great at dealing with rape and sexual assault cases. Just the police in general, we love them. Love the police when it comes to sexual assault. They're so good with this.
Starting point is 00:06:30 They said, you know how we can really, really get out in front of this one? A bit of a, bit of a pithy, weird owl style, consent, satire of a Spice Girl song? I would have loved to sit in on the meeting where somebody pitched this to their to their to their to their to their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, the police, their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thea, theaugh, theateateateateateateateateaugh, tole, thoa, thoa, thoaugh, thoa,. I would have loved to sit in on the meeting where somebody pitched this to their manager, like this, the social media manager, get this. Do you remember the song wannabe by the spice girls? And they go, no, I'm 19 years old. And they go, oh yeah I've've heard that on the oldies radio station, or whatever the fuck. Either that one of the person says...
Starting point is 00:07:10 One-o-four point two, classic hits FM from the 90s and back, baby. Yes, either that or the social media manager says, yes, I remember that because I'm 40. And so, then they go, well, what if we change the lyrics of the song? But it was about having to actively and repeatedly get consent from someone you're having sex with while you're having sex with them. And they say, green light. That'll make us look really good. Mm-hmm. That'll fix all of our problems. You're probably solving a lot of problems here today.
Starting point is 00:07:47 Why do women hate the police? What can we do about this? You know what? Women love, they love the spice girls. They love being condescended to. When people think New South West police, they often think girl power. That is certainly what I think. What could be more synonymous with girl power
Starting point is 00:08:06 than a spice gold song So it's been going great for them. It's been going particularly well for New South Wales police minister David Elliot So this dude is in a bit of hot water this week Because some new data has come out showing that a hundred and twenty two two under age girls had been subjected to strip searches in New South Wales since 2016. Which is... It's so weird.
Starting point is 00:08:32 I feel like you just made me read like a pro-feminism kind of Facebook post. I'm a little confused to you. It's kind of like their words and actions are two totally different orthogonal things. Yeah, it's a little like that, I guess. But I'm sure that he's got a perfectly normal reaction to all of this as we read on. I think you could probably say that it's the most normal way anybody could have ever reacted to this. Okay. So these numbers obtained under freedom of information laws showed that two of the 12
Starting point is 00:09:10 twenty-two children were just 12 years old and eight of them were 13. Now to me that's not good. I don't want to put an unpopular opinion out. I'm not a fan personally. Let's see that. It's getting a, I'm holding my, I'm holding my fist, I'm holding my fist, I'm holding my fist, I'm holding my fist, I'm holding my fist, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the, the, the, the, the the, the the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, the the the. thea, thea, thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea,'m holding my, I'm holding my fist out and it's sideways, my thumb it's parallel to the ground. Uh, very much like, ready to make your judgment. Yeah, very much like, um, Wacene Phoenix's portrayal of Caesar in, oh, it wasn't even, it was a totally different, emper. In the movie Gladiator, which is of a similar vintage as the Spice-S spice-S spice-S-S-S-S-spi-spi-spi-spi-spi-spi-spi-spi-spi-spi-spi-s the spice-s the spice-s the spice-s th-s thice-s thi-s thotally different, totally different emperor. In the movie Gladiator, which is of a similar vintage as the spice girl's song, wannabe.
Starting point is 00:09:49 And I'm ready to give them a judgment. Oh no, oh no, my thumb is turned. It's pointing down straight towards the ground. That's how I'm feeling about these numbers. So Mr. Elliot today defended New South Wales police's ability to strip search children, Great Sends, which has been put under the microscope in New South Wales this year. Okay. Last month, probably using data and stuff. Uh, ideally.
Starting point is 00:10:16 Okay. But. Last month, the law enforcement conduct commission held an inquiry into the strip search of a 16-year-old girl at a music festival. So this is a thing that's come up a bit in the c. the c. the c. the c. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. old girl at a music festival. So this is a thing that's come up a bit in the context of like pill testing and drug laws around, particularly around music festivals in New South Wales. And so there have been people at music festivals who have been pulled into the drug testing area by police and said, hey, give me your drugs. And when they've said, I don't have any, the cops have then gone, well, it's time for me to strip search you in that case.
Starting point is 00:10:54 Oh no, sorry, I'm totally wrong. It's when the police want to like swab people, isn't it? When the police want to like swab the insides of people's mouths, they also do this at the roadside drug testing buses. There's been a lot of stories in the media about the roadside drug test things for drivers, that they will pull people out of their cars and say, and pull them into the van thing, and say, okay, we would now like to swab the inside of your mouth for a test to see if you've done any drugs and when people say, no, I don't actually have to let you do that,
Starting point is 00:11:30 they've gone, cool, in that case, we're now going to forcefully strip search you if you refuse to consent. Which makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, right? Because if I've just finished smoking a joint, the joint is not then stored in my asshole afterwards, right? Like, I don't, it's not like a A to B process. So... It depends whether or not you are being environmentally considerate about where you put your butts. You know?
Starting point is 00:11:55 Sure. You're just gonna toss it on the ground? Are you gonna take it with you when you go? That's true. Nature's pocket. You wait for it to cool down. Chuck it in there. So this is what I think is the relevant point in all of this is that police do have the powers to strip search people, to search people without consent, often without a warrant or any of that sort of thing, but it's always based on some very flexible interpretation
Starting point is 00:12:24 of what the police think is is like a, you know, a fact of the proof that they have to do this thing. And in a lot of cases, that turns out to be, if the cops come up to you and say, we would like to look through your bag now, just on the street out of nowhere, and you say, no? They say, thin a lot of the time that means they can say, you know, will you consent to the search and you say no? Then a lot of the time that means they can say, ah, this person's acting suspiciously about being searched, leading me to believe that they have something on them that I need to find, therefore my
Starting point is 00:12:53 search is now legal. But more importantly, in a lot of cases it seems like, cops tend to use these particular powers they have to punish people, who to to to to to to to to their...... And their their their their their their the have to punish people who have said no to something a cop has told them to do, that they're not actually legally obliged to do. So while giving evidence of this inquiry for the law enforcement conduct commission, the officer who conducted the search of the 16-year-old conceded that it was likely unlawful. So again, great stuff. Sure I did it, but I definitely wasn't allowed to. But that's probably fine I guess. So Mr. Elliot said today, I've got young children and if I thought the police felt they were at risk of doing something wrong, I'd want them strip searched. Hmm. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:13:46 Hmm. So uh... Uh uh... Where do you go? Can I just say? Yes, Ben. I do not know about that one, Chief.
Starting point is 00:14:04 Yeah. Yeah. I would say that that one, Chief. Yeah. Yeah. I would say that that ain't it. No, it's definitely not it. If my kids refuse to tidy their room, I would immediately drive them to the police station. So these kids are acting suspiciously and I demand. I demand. Please.
Starting point is 00:14:23 Please strip search my children. Please. I like, and what I like about this as well is the sort of classic cop propaganda of, well if the cops thought that my kids had done something, then clearly they've done something. Like you can't possibly question the motivations or the judgment or anything else of any individual police officer. It is quite simply, if a cop tells you to do something, then it's because you've done something wrong.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Also, can I just say that at a music festival, at a public, you know, transport, like a train station or, you know, the side of the street or wherever they're pulling people up? There is no action that anybody could possibly, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a train station or, you know, the side of the street or wherever they're pulling people up. There is no action that anybody could possibly take that strip-searching them is worth it. There is no, there's nothing that anyone on the street is keeping in their ass that could cause any more harm than strip-searching that person. I don't, I don't understand like what it is that they expect they expect, that they they they they they they they they they they expect they expect that they expect they expect that they expect that they expect they expect that that they expect they expect they expect that that they expect that that that that that that that that that that that that that th they that is that that that, you that that that that that that that that that that that that that that is that is th. th. th. their their th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they that they try try try try try try try can can't true, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, that that th person. I don't understand like what it is that they expect, if someone's acting suspiciously in a train station, like what it is that they expect to get out of getting to squat over a mirror. Like whatever is up there is not going to be a bazooker or something, right? Imagine if it was, that'd be awesome. It's always drugs and it's like, who cares?
Starting point is 00:15:56 Who cares about an amount you can fit up there? Yeah, it's not going to be like, you know, Jim Carrier's the mask, pulling the great big mallet out of his cartoon pocket, you know? It's not going to be like, you know, Jim Carrier's the mask pulling the great big mallet out of his cartoon pocket, you know? It's not going to be like that. Imagine if it was. Imagine if it was. Police vindicated today as man with magical butthole.
Starting point is 00:16:19 No, again, I think it's just this whole ridiculous thing. Like all of the replies that you will see on any social media posts that involves somebody who has been assaulted by the police or illegally searched or has been brutalized in some capacity, there is always a bunch of just absolute Yahoo's in a reply saying, well if you had have done what the cop told you, there wouldn't have been a problem. If you had have just complied with what the cop had said. Always completely ignoring the fact that in a lot of situations the things that people are being asked to do are in direct contravention of their actual rights. But at least there's checks and balances on these things and repercussions for when they're misused, like like their their unlawful. I'm sure the system will in some way balance that out by checking their power though.
Starting point is 00:17:14 If there's one thing that we're all very used to in Australia, it's the police being held to account when they abuse their powers. So you know this guy says, hey I wish I wish the cops would strip so my kids. I wish they were doing something wrong right now so I can teach them a lesson. I'm considering planting drugs on my kids just to get them strip so I today. Who is this gremlin? He says having been minister for juvenile justice we have 10 year olds involved in terrorism no you know you don't. they th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I I I I I I I I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I thi thi I thi thi thi thi thi thi th. I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I say I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the theee thi thi thi theee thi the the the the the the thi thi thi thi th get them stripped of it. Who is this gremlin? He says, having been minister for juvenile justice, we have 10-year-olds involved in terrorism activity. No, you don't, and not in the way that you want to make for this point.
Starting point is 00:17:54 You absolutely do not. For the point that you were making, show me one. Show me the 10-year-old. Well, considering how many cases in Australia that involve Widely publicized raids of of people for suspicion of terrorism activity and then like six months later They're just quietly settling with that person out of court When it turns out that all they actually had was a bit of audio from them like a fortnight game saying I'm going to frag you and that was it. So good to see that this guy has also been the minister for juvenile justice that he's very keen on all of the most oppressive things. So in regular circumstances police can strip search children between the ages of 10 and 18 in New South Wales only while a parent, guardian or support person is present.
Starting point is 00:18:45 However, and this is the, oh if you're acting suspiciously by saying you don't want to be searched, that's grounds for searching you part. However, if police believe that evidence may be at risk of being destroyed and the circumstances are, quote, urgent, they can search a child while a parent or guardian is not there. Again, impossible to imagine circumstances where that is actually true. Yeah, except that the only thing that exists in terms of oversight for this is that they say to the cop who did it. Yeah, but did you believe that it was urgent and they say, yes? And that's it, like all the cops in America who shoot people and say, oh, but I'm, th....... they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. th. th. th. they're, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. they're, th. they're, impossible. th. th. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they're they're they're they're thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi it like all the cops in America who shoot people and say oh but I fear for my life and they go oh well in that case it's cool it's actually good that you did it so mr. Elliot acknowledged the searches
Starting point is 00:19:35 are not always appropriately used hmm quote of course they haven't always been used according to the standard operating procedures and anyone who feels that has been done erroneously has got some reply to that that the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they say they say they they say they say they they say they say they say the the the the the they the the the th th th the the they they they they they they they they they they go they go they go they go they go they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their the the the the to say to say theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' to say theeeeeeeee' tho their their their their the standard operating procedures and anyone who feels that has been done erroneously has got some reply to that, he said. Not a sentence. Also, I feel like the words, of course, shouldn't be at the start of a sentence stating that they are sexually assaulting people from the police minister. Of course. It just happens. Of course it happens. Just personally. I feel like that's probably not how that sentence should go. that's that's that, that, that, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho th th th th th th th th th th th tho- th th th th th th th th th th th has has has has got th has got th has got th has got th has got th has got th has got th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tho tho th th th th they are sexually assaulting people from the police minister. Yeah, of course. Just happens. Just personally, I feel like that's probably not how that sentence should go. Hey, look, it's gonna happen, you know?
Starting point is 00:20:12 It's just a couple of bad eggs. Sometimes you're just out there being a cop and you strip a 12-year-old nude after accusing them of terrorism because they pointed at you and like pulled the end of their nose up and made an oinkoink sound. It's gonna happen, it's normal stuff. So New South Wales Attorney General Mark Speakman defended the use of strip searches but acknowledged the policy was being reviewed. Quote, strip searches are an important investigative tool, but obviously we have to get the balance right. They need to be used only where appropriate.
Starting point is 00:20:49 Cool. So I would love to know, again, what the appropriate things are. Love at Boys in Blue. Yeah, it's one of these weird things where strangely you only ever, ever, ever hear about inappropriate use of this thing. There's never, you know, it's never a big front th th th th th th the th th the th th th th th th th th the big th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th th th th use of this thing. There's never, you know, it's never a big front page article. Strip Search prevents murder. Strip search stops 9-11 too. The 9-11ing. 912. But our police minister David Elliot is having a really shitty week because he was also embroiled in a
Starting point is 00:21:24 road rage incident this week Mr. Elliot has denied grabbing a teenage driver's arm during a heated argument on a Sydney road But admitted that he claimed to work for the police New South Wales labor leader Jody McKay says that that could leave him open to being charged with impersonating an officer. Hell yeah, oh, do we think the likelihood of that happening is? This guy's a bloody loose unit? He is. He. He is. He is. He is. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thu-hea, thu-hea, thu-a, thu-a, thu-a, thu, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. Mr th. Mr, th. Mr, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thr-a thr-a' thr-a' thr-a'-a'-a'-niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-a' thr-a' thr-a' to being charged with impersonating an officer. Hell yeah. What do we think the likelihood of that happening is? This guy's a bloody loose unit. He is 1,000 percent a loose unit. Mr. Elliot says the 17-year-old male driver clipped his car and drove off on Windsor Road on October 17th. The teens father has told the Australian newspaper the minister chased his son through back streets before grabbing his arm, which Mr. Elliot strongly denies.
Starting point is 00:22:05 This guy just fucking hates teenagers. He hates them. I was just trying to grab him to get his clothes off. I was just trying to strip search your son. It's not a problem. Just a casual strip searching. He says, I spoke to him through the passenger side. No one touched anything, Mr. Elliot told the newspaper. However, he did admit he, quote, blew up when the youth refused to exchange contact details
Starting point is 00:22:31 and swore it his wife. He claimed he didn't have to, so I said, I work for the cops, Mr. Elliot said. He didn't believe me, so I gave him my business card, which would have said, police minister, which of course is not a cop. You also don't work for the police. You are a minister who is in charge of a portfolio that involves the police. He said, show me your badge. I said, I pay for the badges.
Starting point is 00:23:01 I don't get one. Again. It's just wonderful like my dad works at Nintendo and NG coming off of that sentence. I'm actually the police of the police. I control the badges. I'm the police as boss. I am master cop. So yeah, I feel like this is not a great look to say, It's not a good look.
Starting point is 00:23:28 I work for the police. Here's my business card that says something about the police on it, and also I give all the policemen their badges. The idea that, like, the idea to me that you would be able to cast this in any light other than, I had an interaction like outside of business hours with another citizen and I immediately tried to scare the shit out of them by saying I am in charge of the police. It's very silly to me. The boy's father said his son phoned him during the verbal altercation and he could hear a man quote yelling and screaming in the background.
Starting point is 00:24:09 I think in this day and age when road rage is quite high profile it is poor form by someone in that position to behave like that the father said. The minister said damage to his car will cost between $501,000 to fix. Who cares? That's not a lot of money to me. No, that is a panel beaters job. Patience to me. $500 to $1,000. Imagine how many police badges I could buy with that money. Instead, I'm going to spend a lot of my car. Really blowing the badge budget. Unbelievable. New South Wales Police Commissioner McFuller has tasked assistant commissioner Mark Jones with undertaking an independent,
Starting point is 00:24:50 and I'm going to do big scare quotes around that for everyone. An independent review of the incident. Love it when the cops investigate the cops. What could go wrong? Who's better equipped? Who's higher than the cops? The only detectives we have, their cops, so it's got to be done. Who cops, the copsmen? You know? They say, all witnesses will be spoken to in order to ascertain if they are in a position to
Starting point is 00:25:17 provide any further information, a police spokeswoman said in a statement. What does that mean? You could have just said we're interviewing all the witnesses. But instead you have to speak to them in order to ascertain if they are in a position to provide any further information. I love cop speak and like the four ways of saying a single thing. We're gonna interview people. Wonderful stuff. So yeah I I got an idea in East the South Wales please, please stop strip searching children and harassing teens. Was that for a crazy idea? You know? Crazy. I just wish they wouldn't. But who knows what they'll do if they stop focusing on that? Ooh, it's true. Are we worried about known unknowns and unknown unknowns, that kind of thing?
Starting point is 00:26:05 Yes, at least, you know, we can keep an eye on them while they're doing this. The other things, they could be shadier, they could be worse. Well, yeah, who knows what they haven't even been caught for yet? You know? Folks, now it's time for one is your captain speaking. Please return your seats of their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of Plainly Speaking. Oh, folks. It's Plainly Speaking. It's Plain time. It's Lucy's segment where she gets to talk about planes because she's a big plane freak. Whatever. Did you see the Disney planes?
Starting point is 00:26:43 What are the Disney planes? I did not see the Disney planes or the Star Wars planes? Well, I guess, sorry, what I mean is that obviously Star Wars planes are also Disney planes because they own them. But there's a whole bunch of like promotional Star Wars branded jets doing the rounds for the moment where they have like a big Millennium Falcon on the side going cool go in hyperspeed and all that kind of shit and I was like you know who'd love this you know who love planes and Star Wars I don't like being known for either of those things to be quite honest will you deny either of those charges I don't deny
Starting point is 00:27:21 either of those moving on we have pretty pretty fun plane story this week. Oh boy, it's been a banner year for gender reveal parties. Gender reveal stunt leads to plane crash in Texas. Take that Hemingway. Another gender reveal stunt went horribly wrong and led to a recent plane crash in Texas according to a National Transportation Safety Board accident report released on Friday. Pilot was flying a plane at low altitude on September 7th as part of an elaborate gender reveal for a friend according to the report. Well, very person. I'm trying to do like a September 11 commemoration sort of thing. Just flying up to do my report. I think they were trying to do like a September 11 commemoration sort of thing. Just flying up to do my friend's gender reveal party.
Starting point is 00:28:11 The pilot dumped 350 gallons of pink water from the plane. How do you have pink water? How pink is it going to be? The plane was too low and immediately stalled. The pilot was not injured in the crash in Turkey, Texas, hilarious name for a place. The plane's other passenger had minor injuries. Amazing that no one died in this. The plane was designed to carry only one person, the report said. Just a whole lot of stupid shit going on here. The incident was the latest. How many beers were had before they went up in this thing? I'm wondering. Oh my god, this incident was the latest the latest the latest the latest the latest the latest the latest the latest the latest the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the tea tea tea tea the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the p. the latest... How many beers were had before they went up in this thing, I'm wondering. Oh my god, this incident was the latest in a string of gender reveal stunts gone awry.
Starting point is 00:28:49 In October, a family in Iowa inadvertently built a pipe bomb for a party that exploded and killed a grandmother. Last year, an off-duty border patrol agent was ordered to pay more than 8 million in restitution after his gender reveal caused a forest fire in Arizona. Just more proof that gender freaks do so much more damage. I just, I think we should just stop these until we figure out what's going on. I'm sure that that forest fire was like 46,000 acres as well. Like this is not like you started a small brush fire. It was like fucking
Starting point is 00:29:25 insane. And there was another one of these last week. Like no one died in this one, but police were called to another gender reveal in Iowa because they did it like out in the middle of nowhere and it still managed to blow out the windows in someone's house nearby. But they weren't charged with anything because they were using a store-bought gender reveal explosion kit and like they didn't... I'm sorry what? A store-bought gender reveal explosion kit. Just picking up my gender reveal explosion kit from the local Walmart. You know those scenes in like action movies where there's some you know like X X special ops type person and and they have to do something for example
Starting point is 00:30:13 Mark Wahlberg's shooter oh where he has to go you like goes to the supermarket or the tool store or whatever and buys like the tool store jesus and buys a whole bunch of stuff that he then like turns into pipe bombs. Yeah, yeah, I was picturing a kind of like Tim, Timothy McVay kind of situation where someone's like torn their entire van out, and just packed it full of gender reveal devices. Yeah, exactly. They're like, well, I don't want anyone to think that I'm making a bomb, so I'm just going to buy 20 gender reveal explosion kits.
Starting point is 00:30:47 Also I'm really enjoying the thought that you can go to WWW dot NTSB.gov, that's the National Transportation Safety Board, and look up this safety incident, and they literally just have a safety incident on there about this plane crashing due to a gender reveal in their official documentation. It's wonderful. I would just like to note as well for anybody who cares to know that, or any Australians, I guess, that that was 1,324 liters of pink water. Where did they...
Starting point is 00:31:26 What was... That was one ton of water, right? Which leads me to question... Where were they dumping this stuff? Where were they dumping it? Was it just sort of onto a forest or something? Could somebody have been hiking underneath it at the time? They were just pouring out this pink water?
Starting point is 00:31:44 What if they were dumping it on the last gender reveal fire? Just warring gender reveals. So what's worse guys, having gender-neutral bathrooms like we already do in every house in the world, or burning down the nation's forests and killing all of our grandmothers in order to reveal the genders of babies. It's probably the bathroom. It's hard to say. It's hard to say. It's so weird.
Starting point is 00:32:17 Why don't people stop? You don't need to do this. You don't have to. It doesn't matter. And of course, just in terms of show canon, this is now the second exploding grandmother. I was thinking that this one exploded beforehand. Yeah, yeah. And like as far as things to make you feel pretty bad, there is crafting a gender reveal pipe bomb and accidentally killing your own mother, which is what that guy did. He killed the 60-something-year-old his own mother slash the grandmother of his baby, his to-be-born baby.
Starting point is 00:33:00 Oh my god, this is some black mirror shit. Oh it's bleak as fuck. If you would like to hear another tale of exploding grandmothers, please listen to episode 110 of the show blast testing. Very important things to be heard there. Speaking of other topics that we have spoken about before and return to yet again because we cannot stop ourselves. Theo, what are we going? I'm getting up on my little steppy ladder. Going up to the side, this is the Harry Connick Jr. Memorial Golly Walk incident counter. And we are taking that bad boy back to zero.
Starting point is 00:33:44 I don't know if it actually left zero. I don't know if it actually left zero. I don't know if it can ever leave zero when you can just wander into a... Any store in the country. Any store. And there's just a shelf dedicated to Gollywogs, but I think as far as like celebrating gollywalks go, maybe that counts. So we'll put that back to zero anyway because... You get up on the ladder the ladder ladder ladder ladder ladder ladder ladder the ladder ladder the ladder the ladder the ladder tha ladder tha ladder tha tha tha tha tha tha that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that counts so we'll put that back to zero anyway because you get up on the ladder and you take the zero card off and then just reach into a box
Starting point is 00:34:08 that's all full of other zeros. This little little article in title of Whittle C show award winning Goliwog quilt sparks outrage. Can I get you to run that by me one more time? I'm just gonna give that one another go. Uh, Whittlesy show award-winning gollywog quilt quilt spark's outrage. I am. Award winning gullywog quilt. Uh,
Starting point is 00:34:39 uh... Sorry, I'm looking at the picture of it. It's on my screen, I can't. This one is special to me because I feel like they've really gone above and beyond to be oblivious to any kind of racial sensitivity. They've somehow made the gullywog more racist, I believe. They said, you know, this gthis garly log pretty racist. What would make it more racist would be if it was a quilt with 24 garlic performing
Starting point is 00:35:12 acts such as lassoing a I'm gonna say that again lassoing I'm gonna skip past that a native rope catching rope catching. Uh I don't want to kind of take the shine off this next part. A native American Indian. Um. It's, it's really something to behold. The whole thing. Absolutely. Yep. It's eye watering, I would say.
Starting point is 00:35:43 You've got the hacker. Um, then performing the Haka. There's 24 in all on this. Can I do a speed round? Can I do a speed round? On this dog shit quilt, please do a speed round. All right, we've got a gollywog lepricon representing Ireland. He's jumping up. He's clicking his heels togu. a gold. We've got a Mexican gollywog. Yes, he's wearing a sombrero. Yes, he's playing
Starting point is 00:36:06 a guitar. Yes, he's wearing a poncho. Next, we've got a Scottish gollywog. He's there in his kilt. He's got his bagpipes. Next up, we've got the Spanish gollywog. He's a bullfighter. He's got the whole outfit. Next up we seem to have, I think it's Norway. is a Viking gollywog he's got a shield the helmet a sword the whole deal next we have a Japanese gollywog he's he's got unless that's Vietnam actually he does have the rice paddy hats he does seem to be wearing some kimono type of deal yes Yes, his eyes are very noticeably more slit style than the other gollywogs. Next we have a French gollywog standing next to the Eiffel Tower. He's got the beret, he's got the stripy shirt.
Starting point is 00:36:54 He looks like a mime up in this bitch. He's holding a baguette. Not a problem. There is a Dutch gulch. Dutch gollywog, which this seems to just be a depiction of a regular Dutch person. With a blackened face and red lips. Yeah, they're doing the Dutch Peter thing. No good, no good to me. We got a Canadian Gollywog.
Starting point is 00:37:16 He's a Gollywog in a full Royal Mounted Police. He is apologizing. We have a Gollywog doing the Harka for New Zealand. We have a Brazilian gollywog who is in the full Carmen Miranda dress and fruit hat. Fucking out. Now here's the Japanese gollywog. He's a sumo wrestler. We have an Egyptian gollywog done up like a Pharaoh. He's got the big headpiece. He's got holding an arch. We have a British gollywog. He's got the the the what's the guards, the royal guards? The funny eaters. Yeah. Beef eaters.
Starting point is 00:37:50 Thank you so much. He's eating beef this motherfucker. And of course we have the completely non-racist Italian gollywog. The only one that's fine. He's holding a pizza pie. Oh you like him a pizza pie. He's a winking at you. Oh, you like him a pizza pie. Oh, he's got the checkered pants. Perfect. Great. Take the Gollywog out of it. It's fine. I like the quilt now. It's good now. We've got an Indian Gollywog. It appears to be a child charming a snake out of a basket. The South African Goliwog, horrifying. He's wearing a piss hat.'s got a musket like a blunderbuss type deal terrible stuff arguably the darkest of the ones on here my god looks very happy about potentially shooting some animals we got a Greek gollywog he's holding a torch he's got a togger on we got a Swiss gollywog blowing a big... Oh is it Switzerland? He's blowing the big French horn for the Alps or whatever. He's calling in his assumingly like also Gollywog, St. Bernard's.
Starting point is 00:38:57 Oh of course there's an Inuit Gollywog. He's holding a fish. He's happy. His eyes are very suspect. There is a German Gollywog in Lederhausen, big beer, Russian Gollywog doing the little Babushka dance. And finally, American Gollywog. He's got his chaps. He's got his cowboy hat. He's got his vest on. He's killing some Native Americans. That's right. He's killing some Native Americans, that's right. He's killing some Native Americans, just an absolute cornucopia of Gollywog madness. What do they think the Gollywog is?
Starting point is 00:39:36 What do they? I feel like these people don't, they just don't know and don't care to listen. What do they think they were doing? It it the delightful they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the delightful. It's they're the delightful. It's their their their their their their their their their. their. their. I. I their. I their. I their. I. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I. I. I. I. I. I their. I. I. I their. I. I. I. I. their. their. their. their. their th. the. the. the. the. thea. thi. tolea. tooooooooea. I'm just just just. I tooea. I just just. I too. I thea. I just just just just just. I to listen. What do they think they were doing? It's the delightful musical chap. They saw in a review number in the 1930s that they still think about every now and then. Boy. I get your point though, Theo, which is, what is it about the Goliwog as a concept,
Starting point is 00:39:57 which for starters, like it's not a concept beyond dull with racist origins, right? We can all agree on that? Yep. Gullywog, doll with racist origins. Who looks at that and says, I need to see the gollywog perspective from 24 different countries. I need to see what a gollywog would look like if it were in Russia? Just caught the gollywog madness.
Starting point is 00:40:23 I need to see all of the domestic, the domestic gollywogs from all around the world. And of course you also have to imagine, as would be the fashion with a quilt like this, somebody sitting down and just starting to plan the whole thing. Somebody would have had to draw all of these first. They would have had to... They're like, how can I make this one look more Vietnamese? What can I do here? Yeah, I mean it's got the flag on there, but I'm not really getting it across. Just incredible stuff. The amount of work that has gone into this is my heading.
Starting point is 00:40:59 And I mean, this is probably probably, probably kind of says a lot about the kinds of people who go to as well as run and judge cult shows. And like, so this is a, we'll see show is an agricultural society show, right? So this is kind of old-timey, you know, moms and dads sewing and doing all this sort of stuff. And apparently like the last 60 years hasn't happened to them. I don't, I don't know. But you'd think that this would be just a minor, minor feature in this show, but it won first prize of the entire craft show, most outstanding exhibit. Everybody just got together and went,
Starting point is 00:41:48 not only is this fine, but this is good. I just want to point out that this is very common across Australia in country towns. Any country town if you go into like a craft store of any kind. There's going to be a wall of the Gollywogs. This is the Goliwogs, a wall of them. This is the Goliwog session, take your pick. Very, very odd. But of course they have denied this and they've said the piece was selected purely based on the execution and
Starting point is 00:42:18 excellence slash high standard of the workmanship so they don't see race. They just see good stitching. high standard of the workmanship, so they don't see race. They just see good stitching. Oh, yes. We as an organization do not discriminate based on race, religion, marital status. Age, national origin, ancestry, physical or mental disability, medical condition, pregnancy, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or expression. Anybody is welcome to make the most racist quilt known to bed and enter it here.
Starting point is 00:42:51 We will not discriminate. How could they be discriminating against national origin when this has gullywogs from 24 different countries? When this is the most internationally representative gollywog quilt that you have ever seen? Boy. This is this, uh, when this is a fucking, the fucking thor internationally, the most internationally representative gullywog quilt that you have ever seen. Oh boy. But like you said, this, Lucy, this goes on like every single show in every, every, this goes on in every country town, everywhere, every single day.
Starting point is 00:43:21 As well as the Royal Adelaide show, which I mean I think we can all agree Adelaide is a country town with a million plus people in it. They really haven't kind of made, I don't think they've applied to be a city yet. I'm not sure I haven't looked that up but I don't think they've gotten the paperwork in yet. But at the Royal Adelaide show, last year, three award-winning Gollywog dolls were removed from display following social media backlash. The dolls, which won first, second, and third places in the handicrafts division at the show.
Starting point is 00:44:02 The One Kind of Craft. Drew the eye of an indigenous community group and deadly yarning from South Australian Aboriginal communities. And as, God, I'm sorry, I didn't write this down, but I think it was Caton on Twitter pointed out. This was 2018. In 2017, the Golly Wog Dole was given first prize and won the judge's choice award in the Teddy Bear and Friends Category and Friends. In 2016 I looked it up and there was a specific category for best golly. And they just shortened that because they've got a little colloquial kind of name for it because... I mean you're saying golly more so many times a day.
Starting point is 00:45:00 So many times you've got to save some time and some method. It's just a time-saving measure. Yeah, uh-huh Efficiency is the watchword really yeah, so I think honestly we we need to work out what's going on at craft shows It's it is such a I mean please right into the show mail bag at Buntowista dot com if you are from a country other than Australia and this is like a normal thing. I'm sure not. So I had this open when you sent it in the discord and husband of the show, American husband of the show Jesse looked over my shoulder and was like what the fuck is that? Oh that's just part of the booming blackface arts industry of Australia. Don't discriminate.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Yeah, I mean, like, so obviously America's got some super racism going on, but at least people understand on some sort of like visceral level that they're supposed to be ashamed of it. Like, you know, I think we've brought up a million times though, the, uhthe Harry Connick Jr., the American on the Australian show, the only one completely embarrassed by, you know, contestants putting on a minstrel show. I think we are just still that backwards country. But we've spoken about this at length before, and the thing that is so perplexing to me about it, right?
Starting point is 00:46:24 Is that Australians know enough that blackface the thing that is so perplexing to me about it right is that Australians know enough to know that blackface is a thing right? Yeah, ish. Yeah, but but as in like so people make the defense quite often of like, yeah but it doesn't have it doesn't have the same like cultural legacy in Australia that it does in America. You know, there's like invariably stories around Halloween where like sports, sports people will get dressed up as like Serena Williams for a Halloween party and everyone put their pictures on Instagram and people go, what are you doing and they go, hey, it's because I like Serena Williams. Everybody says once again we have our annual conversation on why do Australians do blackface so much? It's a very prominent conversation. So people seem to have these defenses which are like, yeah, but it doesn't mean the same thing as it does in America because we don't have the whole same cultural legacy and everything. It's like, yeah, but you still have enough context to offer that explanation. Oh, that that the tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th the the the the the the tho, the the tho, tho, than, tho, the thoan, the the the the the the the the the the the they the the the the the the the the thoanan it's like yeah but you still have enough context to offer that explanation which means you know what it is. All it does is just reveal as we kind of alluded
Starting point is 00:47:32 to earlier in the show that we like to push our racism off you know not on TV we would like to push it out to regional communities and all this sort of stuff where we can't see it and we don't have to think about it. We just are very good at compartmentalizing our racism. And it's worth noting as well that wife of the show, my wife, Elena, who does various types of craft, not making golly walk quills. But you know, she does a bunch of different things, which means that she does look at craft groups
Starting point is 00:48:13 on Facebook and stuff like that. And she says that it is, like, when you join any crafting group in Australia, it is just like a matter of timetime you are counting down until you see it somebody post a gollywog that they made. A bunch of old ladies saying, what a beautiful gully. And then like one younger woman go, hey what the fuck? I don't know about this one. And then all of the boomeraged women on there immediately become incredibly incensed in defending the Golly Wargaz not racist because they had one
Starting point is 00:48:50 when they were a kid. Which as we all know is the most ironclad defense of racism is to say that you saw it in the past and it was fine then. You know, perfect. You can't disagree with that. A whole category for best, golly. You gotta love it, folks. So, you know, we really don't have any solutions for this. We can't even understand why it's happening. It seems like there's an entire industry and an entire group of people dedicated to just like collectively pressing their brains together and forming a psychic wall which enables them to deflect accusations of the golly log being a kind of a...
Starting point is 00:49:37 What's the problem Andrew? It's just a cute black doll? It's just a little little black dolly with big red lips. I'm sure there is a bunch of old people that truly have no idea. But for the most part, we've been having this conversation since Harry Conner Jr. was on TV, which I believe was something like 20 years ago. It was quite a while. It was a hell of a long time. And so with that, let us move to our final segment some Nature Corner, Robbed Crabbit, Snip to my dear. It's Nature Corner, folks.
Starting point is 00:50:36 Back with our new theme. That's just so beautiful. It's just... That's wonderful stuff. Sorry you weren't here when it debuted, Lucy. I certainly wasn't, but I have heard it, and I like it. I just couldn't keep it under wraps any longer. It had been secretly sent to me. And I couldn't show anyone before I revealed it to Theo, making him cry for hours and hours. The sheep people. Well, I mean, I was planning on doing that anyway, but... I was already crying.
Starting point is 00:51:08 Oh Nature Corner folks. Hey, according to this really dumb article from the mirror. Just a truly hate us website slash newspaper. Newspaper with like the air quotes around it. The mirror, which has very helpfully rebranded their logo so that it has a poppy instead of an O so that you know that they're patriots. You know? It's almost Veterans Day. You know?
Starting point is 00:51:39 I don't know what that means. They say that recently an adorable dog went viral for having a face that looked more human than canine. So this is just a dog that has like nice eyes. You know, sometimes the dog. Is it sexy? Like is it hot? I guess it's pretty hot for a dog.
Starting point is 00:52:02 But um... It kind of, it kind of makes me think of like, you know, you know the classic old internet meme of the dog that's sitting at the table in front of a birthday cake and it's got a birthday hat on and it just looks really fucking high? All right. I'll just put that in the, I've just put it in the discord. But the dog. I don't like the dog's face. I'm looking at the dog is, the dog is, the dog is like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's like th. th. th. th. th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like thi thi thi. It's like thi th. It's like th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like th. It's like the th. It's like thi. It's like thi. thi. the thi. the thi. the thi thi the the thi the thi. the ththe discord. But the dog. I don't like the dog's face. I'm looking at the dog. This dog is like replying to women on Twitter saying like I'm so sorry that happened to you if you get someone to talk to. Yes.
Starting point is 00:52:39 So really the only kind of human quality of this dog is just the eyes. That's it really. I think that calling it more human than canine is a very long boat. It's a stretch. But now there's another strange animal shocking people on the internet. Only this one lives in water instead of on land. Stretch in that word count. A rather unusual fish has been spotted in a lake in China, which appears to have some very odd markings on its face, causing it to look quite human. As fish, as fish go.
Starting point is 00:53:16 The grand scheme of fish that you've seen, this one looks quite human. A visitor to a village outside the city of Kunming in South China captured a video of the creepy carp. The video was shared on Weibo? Weibo? Weibo. Thanks, Ben. That is how it's pronounced.
Starting point is 00:53:36 Hit me with that again. It's Wei bow. One more time. I'm not doing it again because now it sounds like I'm being racist. But there's a, it's a weird sound at th. It's like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the the the the th, th, th, th, time. I'm not doing it again because now it sounds like I'm being racist, but there's a, it's a weird sound at the end there. That's a real one. It's like BWO at the end. Wow. The Chinese social media platform and in the clip the fish can be seen swimming to the edge of the lake and poking its head above the surface of the water. And it basically it's got some markings on the top of its head that when you kind of squint sort of looks like a dude's face? It looks a hundred percent like fans of the show the
Starting point is 00:54:11 Mighty Bush in one of the episodes at the end it's just Noel Fielding's face put onto a fish. That is exactly what it looks like. It looks like every fish in the meaning of life. Yes. I think it looks like it looks like it looks like, um it looks like it the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th thum. thum. thum. Uh. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the the the the the the the th the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the th. the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. the. thu, thu tho tho tho tho tho th like every fish in the meaning of life. Yes. I think it looks like it looks like a 3D model of a person's face but from like a Nintendo 64 game. Yeah, yeah. That kind of we've got eight polygons to spend on this fish is from Goldeneye. Yes, absolutely. So during the clip a woman can be heard saying the fish has turned into a fairy. Of course. People were understandably freaked out by the site.
Starting point is 00:54:52 Now this is of course the portion of a mirror article where they have described the video that they have taken from another social media source. They've spent half the article just literally telling you what appears. What a fish is, where a fish lives? Yep. Another dog that also looked like a thing. Now we are into the portion of the article in which they helpfully transcribe all of the replies on the post as though this is also part of the news, the news being fish, fish has a bit of its head that kind of looks like a face. It isn't even the fish's face.
Starting point is 00:55:33 It's not its face. It's not the fish's eyes and mouth that are like, you're not looking at that going, wow, this fish is staring straight into my soul. It's like when people. They're lying to people? It's like when people, they post stingrays with the smiley face underneath, that's not its face. You're lying to people. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, sorry, great big stingray recently.
Starting point is 00:55:52 Did I have a smiley face on it? Well I wasn't underneath it. I was standing on a, on a pier, looking down. And I went, oh, look at that guy. It was huge. So people were people were under under under tha the tha the tha tha tha, tha, their tha, people were th. I were th. I were th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thate. the. tho, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It. It, th. It. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, thi. It's, the. It's, the. It's, thea. It's, thea. It's like, thea. It's like, thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. It was huge, bloody huge. So people were understandably freaked out by the site. One person commented, this is scary. Another replied, who dares to eat it? Ha ha ha!
Starting point is 00:56:17 Wow. I'll eat the fish. Although no one really wants to eat carp, do they? I don't think he's been talking about taste. Yeah. Yes, mainly talking about the taste. That fish looks like it sucks shit. The video was later shared on Twitter by a user called at, unexplained, where it crept out more people.
Starting point is 00:56:41 Holy shit, proclaimed one user. Someone else wrote, I am so freaked out right now. Wow, I want to be a journalist. What a dream. Now I know what you're thinking. I know what you're thinking. Hey, this person didn't do any research. They just saw a post. And social media. And they described the post and then they wrote down the comments under the post. Not true. Here's where the research part comes in. Back in 2010, well they say this isn't the first time someone has seen a human-like carp.
Starting point is 00:57:16 Back in 2010, a 44-year-old British man claimed that a carp he had bought five months before had begun to develop human-like facial features. Who buys a carp and then sits there looking at it for it the the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the research the months before had begun to develop human-like facial features. Bies a carp and then sits there looking at it for five months. Just checking out my carp's face day to day. Yeah I can't go to that movie. I'm going to look at this carp. Gotta go home and make sure that my carp's face is evolving the way I expected. Brendan O' Sullivan from Dagenham Essex said, it was astonishing. face is evolving the way I expected.
Starting point is 00:57:45 Brendan O'Sullivan from Dagenham, Essex said, It was astonishing. I could easily make out from the markings, two eyes, a nose and a mouth. I thought I was suffering from sunstroke. Still a possibility. Nice life, Brandon. But it also sounds like he's saying the same thing that it was just markings. And he was like, oh, it's kind of in the shape of a face thiiiiiii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thee. theeeeeea. thea. thea. thea. toea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the saying the same thing that it was just markings? And he was like, oh, it's kind of in the shape of a face.
Starting point is 00:58:07 Local man says, yeah, I can kind of see what you're talking about. Local man claims, if you sort of squint, and if you, it's got to be the right. That's his eyebrow. No, don't look at that part of the fish. Wrong part of the fish. And now here's the final sentence of the article which they just drop and leave there with no explanation. The fish was believed to be worth an estimated 40,000 pounds. I love this sentence because it implies a few things. One. I feel like this should have been the whole article. One, there's such a thing as a fish valueer. Yeah, I need to book a time for you to come around and appraise my carp.
Starting point is 00:59:02 Just like a Guy Richie movie movie like Hard-ass Jew. Yeah, putting in the little jewelers loop and peering at the markings on this rare carp. And second of all, there's somebody out there who is willing to pay 40,000 pounds for for a fish that if you look at weird kind of looks like it has human markings. There's also the past tense of this sentence. The fish was believed to be worth that much money. Is the fish dead or is it simply invaluable now?
Starting point is 00:59:39 Did he sell it for a disappointing 30,000 pounds? Could have got a lot ofthe ones to auction. Oh God. I'm at Christie's selling my carp. Oh, yeah, I feel like this really should have been the whole thing is the, um, is the secret underground carp economy. For a car that looks like they have a human face on them. Yeah. I'd pay at least five to ten dollars for a carp of that that that like they have a human face on them. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:05 I'd pay at least five to ten dollars for a carp of that nature. Yeah, but then you've got to keep a carp alive, you know? They look nice. Do they? Do they? In like a Japanese garden, they look very pleasant. Can't say I look at their faces much. Well, if it had a face right on the face thape, tha face, tha, tha, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, like, th, like, th, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, like, like, tho, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, tho, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thir faces much. Well, if it had a face right on top of its head, you'd be like...
Starting point is 01:00:26 If you had a cup that looked up at you every time with a face that's sort of like, life is hell. Yeah, you'd be like, hey, I paid more than I paid for my car, uh, for my new car for this cup, worth every penny. Every time I look down there and I see something that looks like a, like a, um, you know, early 90s, CGI depiction of Willem Defoe, I think. Worth it. Worth it. I just take out a second mortgage on my house for this, but worth it. That's all the time we have this week, folks. So, as always, if you would like an extra episode of the show, every week, you can head on over
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Starting point is 01:01:49 Go check out these Star Wars planes. I'm just having a gander at them right now. Very nice. What do you think? Pretty good? Different. It looks like R2D2? It does. It does. It does. A little Boeing 777, but it's R2. Love it. Exactly. And you can write into the show at mailbag at Buentevista.com and if you would like to call up and leave us a message which we may or may not play on the show. Australian listeners can call the Bontavista hotline on 1,8003175 and American listeners can call the disgusting American hotline on 732876
Starting point is 01:02:28 three four four six. That's it for us folks. Please, please stop putting hours and hours of effort into creating racist. We beg you. Make anything else. It's really easy to make a quilt that's not racist. It's almost definitely more effort to craft a racist quilt. Get some Warhammer figurines like a normal person.
Starting point is 01:02:53 Thanks everybody. We'll see you next week. Bye. Bye. you

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