Boonta Vista - EPISODE 134: Yakult Activity
Episode Date: February 4, 2020Time to get some advice on dealing with coronavirus straight from the most reputable source: Facebook! Don't worry, our government will evacuate you from Wuhan... for a price. Conspiracy theories, a b...ongless Brexit, snake-handling advice and more. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at mailbag@boontavista.com! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista
Transcript
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Hello and welcome to Plivista episode 134.
I am Ben and I am standing atop a mighty sandworm speeding through the deep desert.
In front of me, using long hooks to expose the sensitive areas beneath the worm's many
segmented rings, forcing it to turn is Lucy. Hello Lucy.
Hi, that sounds very skillful. You're doing it with greater plon.
Clearly a practiced desert dweller. I sure am. Behind me, using the spice melanch to transcend space
and time. Specifically to look into the changing rooms of the cheerleaders for the 1972 Dallas Cowboys. It's Andrew. Oh that's right baby. I'm just, uh, I'm the the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm the, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, th, th, uh, uh, uh, th. I'm th. I'm th, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. You, th. th. th. You're, th. You're, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thileaders for the 1972 Dallas Cowboys, it's Andrew. Hello, Andrew. Oh, that's right, baby. I'm just, I'm looking around, I'm taking it all in. I'm
honestly, I'm so excited by the 1972 Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders that I'm getting a
little parched and taking a sip of my recycled piss out of my still suit.
Woof. That is a man that loves titties.
Oh, who doesn't?
Who doesn't?
Who doesn't?
What sort of monster doesn't?
You know?
It's windy up here.
We're really moving.
You're always fucking complaining, aren't you?
You know, I've summoned this fucking huge sandworm,
so we don't have to walk across the desert and you're sitting there being like, oh, yeah, a bit windy.
It wasn't a complaint, where on a big sandy desert planet I was really enjoying the breeze.
Finally, the air is moving.
The breeze that is only hitting the parts of you that are exposed, which are just your eyes and helping pull them down a little. Yes, because the rest of the time I'm just absolutely pouring pouring the tholking tholiioliolioli-upupupupupup-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-upi-upi-upi-upi-upi-upi-upy-upy-upy-upy-upy-upy, th. thi-upy-upy-upy-upy-upy-upy, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th. th, th, th, th-n, th-n. th-n. th-n't th-n't th-n't th-n't th-n't-n't-n't-n't-in-in-wi-a-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-y. Yeah, thi-y. Yeah, because the rest of the time I'm just absolutely pouring sweat, which is all mixing in
with my piss and being drunk by me out of my still suit.
Which is convenient because you would have been drinking your own piss anyway.
I like an unfiltered. Yeah, but this time it doesn't taste like piss, so it swings in roundabouts
for you.
Yeah, I'm like a raw water advocate, but...
Just for piss. Like, oh, you take all the good stuff out of it when you filter it around through, you still suit.
When you take out the stuff that gives you diarrhea, you also take out all the nutrients.
That's right. I'm one of those like urine
therapy guys now. That's a real thing is that? That is a real thing it's absolutely
um... Is that just being peed on? No, no, it's it is... it is... they would make me feel better. That's another form of therapy, yes. But, um, but no, it's a, it is a type of self-care in which you drink your own piss for its medicinal
value.
Of course.
I know this because when I was like 17, I was doing like IT type classes and one of them
was like however many weeks of just learning to use PowerPoint.
I was like, how long, how long are we going to need on this really?
But we had to do a presentation on any book of our choice.
And I found the book on urine therapy.
Oh.
And I did a PowerPoint presentation to the class on the medicinal value of drinking piss.
And I passed.
So who's laughing now?
It's still me.
It's still me.
Wow.
Did you learn anything?
Could you like off the top of your head sort of tell us what the supposed benefits
are and why that's the case?
Oh, it's all very um it's all very like
oh it's it's sterile anti-inflammatory properties it's good for your
digestion. I'm sure people think it's the same thing as like you know how like
rabbits eat their own shit and just like digest the grass again kind of
thing. Because their stomach suck and they're not particularly efficient. Yeah and people like oh they're getting even more nutrients out of it which I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi the the the the the the thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their stomach suck and they're not particularly efficient. Yeah, and people are like, oh, they're getting even more nutrients out of it, which I could
do also if I drank my pierce.
It sounds like you wouldn't recommend it.
No, well, I've also seen this like, people, people that I follow on Twitter who like,
just trawl lots of horrifying Facebook groups, you know?
Shout out to a friend of the show, Caddy, who was looking through one of these groups where people do like, people do exactly this.
Oh, you can just use your piss for all this stuff. There's people posting photos of their own eye,
like all red and inflamed and they're like, oh my eye got really irritated so I put piss in it.
And it's worse?
Should I be using more piss and everyone the group's like more, more piss?
More piss, more piss.
You need more piss in that bad point.
You know, if you've got some stuff that you've had in a jar by the window sill that's
like sitting there for a few weeks and it's extra potent, bang a few
drops of that in, that'll really knock it out of there, you know. That's my
favorite type of Facebook thing is the helping helping other people with
absolutely no medical knowledge between any of you and the general vibe of the
group is just
positivity, positive vibes. It doesn't matter that the thing you're doing clearly
isn't working. It's true. Just be positive and do like more of it. We talk about
Twitter being like a negative cesspool but I think Facebook's
positivity in these kinds of groups is far more damaging. It's true. It's true. Can I just read a... I've been looking at the Wikimeter-their the w Wikiiii-theet the w Wikimit the w Wikimit the w Wikimit the wik-a the wik- the wikik- the wikimeti the wiket thicicicicicicicicicicicicic- thic, thic, thi thi thi thi. I thi thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi. I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi thi. I thi thi thi thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thue. It's true. And um... Can I just read, uh, this is, I've been looking at the Wikimeter article for urine
therapy.
Okay.
There's some great stuff in here.
I'm going to read you two sentences.
Unrelated.
The first one is just, just for the value of the words in it is a delight to me. An exhaustive description of the composition of human urine was prepared
for NASA in 1971.
What?
What?
What?
I've consumed this piss every way that it's possible to consume it.
I've held it up to every different kind of light to get the different colors of it.
The other sentence is this. Urinating on jellyfish, wasbush, sunburn, cuts, and blood vessel bursts is a common folk remedy.
However, scientific American reports that it may be counterproductive,
as it could activate nomadosts the sting, making the pain worse.
Excellent.
So not only have you just been pissed on, the injury you should stay just been made worse.
Damn, I thought that was a real one.
I thought you should pee on a jellyfish thing.
Have you ever asked your marine biologist husband about this?
It's probably something I could be asking him.
Or did you instead get your jellyfish treatment regime from the show Friends?
Or from the movie, uh...
Fuck, what is it? Is it?
It's not forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I don't know.
Maybe. It's... No, yeah, it is. It is. It is.
He gets stung and Paul Rudd is there.
And he's like, hello? He does Russell Brandt's British accent for him.
You are correct. It is for getting Sarah Marshal.
Thank you very much. Good stuff. Speaking of high-quality health advice
dispensed on Facebook, we've had a little bitty outbreak of a thing I like to call
coronavirus. That's right, I coined the term, leading to all those fun jokes about beer.
You're welcome?
I would like to point out that I did a really bad one of those in confidence with Theo
among friends and then you decided to make a point of pointing out on the internet
to everyone like, hey, he thought it was funny to say this.
That just seems rude.
That seems like a betrayal of confidence to me.
It is, but also did you deserve it?
It may be.
Much to consider.
Much to consider.
So Ben, Ben found this little post that has been shared extensively on Facebook, which is of course,
as we said, where you can get all the best medical advice, and where you can get a real fun
intersection of different theories and different kinds of things running across each other.
This one speculates on whether or not coronavirus was maybe caused by 5G.
Now let me let me ask you this Lucy before we go any further into this.
I'm listening.
Can you personally prove to me that the coronavirus was not caused by 5G?
Damn. I mean you really got me there.
I'm no scientist.
I'm no 5G engineer.
So it's not accurate.
Even less people are both of those.
Oh, we knew the one guy who is both a phone network engineer and whatever the, whatever the disease doctor thing is epidemiologist a doctor of diseaseology
It was so good. Yeah, there was a some type of?
Thing getting circulated allegedly from the paramet center of diseaseology. It was so good. Yeah, there was a some type of thing getting circulated
allegedly from the Paramatter Center of Disease
ology. Actually I might look for that while you read this one out because there is
some fucking great shit in there. For diseaseology and the government had to
come out and say there is not a center of diseaseology. Just another. In Paramatter.
There's plenty of other ones.
So this meme shared a bunch of Facebook starts off.
Is it pixelated? Tell me how pixelated it is.
It was pretty pixelated. By the time I saw it, it had been, you know, the weird
boomer screenshot with increasingly worse phones.
How do it? There's a weird magic to it.
Also, they put Instagram filters on text for some reason.
It's baffling stuff.
Beautiful.
It says, very interesting.
Wuhan is where 5G was rolled out.
That is very interesting.
I don't know if there's any evidence of that claim.
What if 5G wrecked immune systems and thereby boosted the virulency of the normal cold?
One of the main points, well, is this suggesting that if left unchecked by a weakened immune
system that a normal cold will like mutate into something like the
coronavirus?
One of the main points about 5G was that it would wreck immune systems and make people sick.
Was it?
Was it?
Yeah, I think we all read the journals and that's what the takeaway was.
It wasn't the whole...
It was a whole...
Ow, my cells!
No, it's not, it wasn't the whole, it will stop like weather prediction apparatus from
working.
It was instead, hey, it's gonna make colds worse.
Silicon Valley does not want it and the kicker, all caps, people in Wuhan say
5G sucks and that 4G was better. I personally would say that the kicker is
getting coronavirus. Imagine these people like you know 20 minutes left to live
and they're like oh I'm getting a really bad stream of this movie on my phone.
My daily motion rip off episodes of BBC sitcoms from the 70s are buffering.
No!
No!
I could have watched two episodes in this time.
Figure that, it says.
I remember now that Wuhan was where the tech was going to be put in place first but forgot all about that with this, scare quotes, pandemic. I like this
person just chucking in there. Oh now I remember. It's a very conversational style
of writing. I remember now. Not here is the evidence for like any of these claims. Here's the evidence for the claim that this is where the the tech was going to be put in place in pandemic pandemic pandemic pandemic pandemic pandemic pandemic pandemic pandemic in pandemic pandemic in pandemic pandemic. pandemic. the evidence for, like any of these claims.
Here's the evidence for the claim that this is where the tech was going to be put in place.
What if all we are seeing in Wuhan is sickness from exposure to excessive 5G radiation
and weakened immune systems, then they've chosen, they've chosen to stick a pin in this with the seriousness it deserves by rounding
it out with things that make you go, hmmm.
To me that has the same energy as that uh, with the One Nation guy that posted the picture
of the hot, sexy, nude lady centaur with, hmm, interesting thoughts.
Yes. Much to consider. I did find that other post.
Strap yourself in for this one. Okay. Urgent notice, corners disease. Corners disease.
Corners disease. C-O-R-N-A. Apostrophe S disease. Corners disease. Corners disease.
As the disease is starting to spread in the greatest Sydney region, I would like to warn Apostrophe S disease, Corners disease. Corners disease.
As the disease is starting to spread in the greater Sydney region, I would like to warn
wholesale shops and buyers on the risk of buying contaminated products.
Sorry, contaminated products.
These following items are known to or may have traces of Corona's disease.
Products are made or held in neighboring areas close to Wuhan, China, Wushan rice, fortune
cookies, Nongshim onion rings, migoring noodles.
That's so good though.
Peach iced tea, brackets, lipton.
Yakult, milk drink.
Chinese redball, brackets, traces may also be held in normal redball.
Wagyu beef.
That famous Chinese Wagyu beef.
Yeah. The following items shown above may contain traces of the Corona's virus
and we are urging the public to be extra vigilant before purchasing these products.
Oh no. The Bureau of Diseaseology Paramatta has run some test on the air in areas in which
people with Corona's disease have visited and contaminated.
Rhodes, Burwood, Strathfield, Chester Hill.
I, sorry.
Ben, I just want to point out that I just put Yackle's into Google because I was curious
about where it is manufactured.
I also was very curious.
And the first, the first predictive result was, Google because I was curious about where it is manufactured. I also was very curious.
And the first, the first predictive result was yackle coronavirus.
What?
Wow.
So it is often in like Japanese supermarkets.
I don't know if they've just taken like a list of foods from an Asian supermarket
to throw in here.
Yeah, they've just walked around.
Let's, as an example. Do not take my Nongshim onion rings. I, I, I, right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right right.. I. I. I. I. I. I. that, right. that, right. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the their, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the first, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their their the. their the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the. their their their their the. throw in here. Yeah they've just walked around. Let's as an example.
Do not take my non-shim onion rings. I'm saying that right now. When they say
me goring noodles right, yeah, they are talking specifically about, we have to assume,
because that's a style of a dish right? Yes, we obviously, it's the one brand that we all know,
which is the Indomie ones, which I'm pretty sure
are made in Indonesia.
And where does Wagyu beef come from?
I ask you.
Great question.
Is it Wuhan, China, or is it Japan?
Are you a doctor from the Parameter Center for Diseasology?
That is true. I am not someone.
Now, now then...
Patching my clock at the Bureau of Diseaology in Parramatta.
Wagyu also comes from Australia and America.
Oh, is that true?
I've been reading into exactly what Wagyu beef is recently.
Oh, I assumed it had to come from the region, champagne. Technically it's just fatty cow.
No, well it's specific like breeds of cow.
So, um.
Well, I'm a fool.
We're both vegetarian though, right, Lucy, so we're fine.
I'm fine. I'm vegan now.
Woo.
Morally, we're all of us.
So, to clarify this is what I was reading recently, Wagyu is any of the four Japanese
breeds of beef cattle.
In several areas of Japan, Wagyu beef is shipped carrying an area name.
For example, Kobe beef.
I was thinking of the Kobe beef.
Yonizawa beef, Mishima beef, Sunda beef, etc.
But then they've like taken some of those breeds of cattle,
brought them to other countries like Australia and America, and in some cases like
started breeding them with other cattle and then so like in America they breed
Japanese Wagyu cattle with Aberdeen Angus cattle and then they created that
and called it American-style Kobe beef. So they have their own thing.
Yeah and the same thing in Australia where we have like Wagyu cattle here.
And we put it in MacDonalds. And we put it in McDonald's. Very believable.
Extremely.
These are the finest parts of the feet that we didn't need.
But anyway, that's where Wagyu comes from.
I don't think it's all from Wuhan, China.
Hmm. What about all Red Bull in the world?
Yes.
Um, I really like how they just tossed into that.
The Chinese type of Red Bull, if that's a thing.
Is it a real thing? Is it like a special Red Bull variety?
Well, I thought that was like the Thai Red Bull that's like, you know,
the little square glass vials that's basically just like
the liquid nectar form of red bull.
Delicious.
That sounds fantastic.
Sounds so good.
And it feels like it's so good for you when you're drinking it.
You're just like, ooh, I'd better have some of this medicine.
And then you drink like three of them and run a few laps of whatever building you're
in at the time
Great stuff there great stuff. I love to hear what 5g is and is not doing
Although um I was listening to find out that it's vibrating my atoms apart so that
If I would normally have had a small stuff nose or whatever, I am going to die instantly.
That's cool.
Funnily enough, with all of the recent controversy about Joe Rogan, I was listening to Joe Rogan
the other day, talking to...
Where were you?
Big time, Bernie, bro?
That's me. No, as I've said on this show before, I listen to like Joe Rogan now does specific
like MMA related episodes where he just talks to like a fighter. And those are interesting
to me because they just talk about like fighting, boxing, whatever. And he tends to not get
into a lot of the areas that I don't care to listen to him talk about.
However, he was talking to former UFC featherweight champion Frankie Edgar,
who was talking about how his wife has Lyme disease.
And they were talking about how, you know, it's more and more common now, and so that it's one of those things where if you miss the symptoms of it in its initial stages,
which is like the point at which you can get antibiotics for it and stuff like that.
If you miss it, then it's just something that you have like seemingly forever,
and it's kind of incurable.
Justin Bieber.
He also has Lyme disease now. What's her name from Buddy, Pekingy Kill as well?
She has a Lyme disease.
There you go.
So they were talking about that and then they...
And then Rogan is immediately like,
that they both, he was like, I heard a thing.
The Lyme disease was like a bio weapon that the government was trying to make that accidentally got out
and from there the conversation took a turn
straight towards coronavirus.
Oh boy.
Yep.
And I was like, yep, this is why people get mad at you Jorogun.
Because you're like, hey, I saw a thing on the internet.
It's like, yeah, we've all seen a thing on the internet.
We've all seen some shit on the internet.
We all see the thing on the internet.
We just don't describe it credulously to our like 100 million plus listeners.
Exactly. It is a little upsetting when you realize like
when an older person in your the the friend of the family or something you have on Facebook
goes ahead and posts one of these things and you just, it's like you're seeing into this
whole world of people that we don't know, like outside of our little bubble and just seeing
what they're reading online every single day.
Should we, um, should we take a slight detour here for a second and just quickly discuss the
Joe Rogan, Bernie Sanders
endorsement.
I think you'd love to.
Sure.
Well, it was very interesting to me to see people losing their minds about that.
As a lot of people pointed out, the people who seem to be most stridently saying, hey, you should
not accept Joe Rogan's endorsement
and you should be publicly repudiating him and stuff like that.
The people who support like Hillary Clinton and Elizabeth Warren,
all these people who have endorsements from like Henry Kissinger and are married to Bill Clinton and things like that. But yeah,
I thought, it's interesting because he has like a massive audience. I did
listen to the the interview that he did with Bernie Sanders and it was it was like
such a better shake than Bernie Sanders gets from any other form, basically.
As we saw from the recent debates and stuff, where they were like,
Bernie Sanders, are you a sexist?
And he's like, no. And then they're like, when you found out Bernie Sanders was a sexist, how did that make you feel?
They just, they go very hard on him, and the interview with Rogan was a sexist. How did that make you feel? They just, they go very hard
on him and the interview with Rogan was like an hour of him saying, so what's the deal
on this and letting Bernie just explain his position at length. And it was obviously compelling,
you can go and read through like shit loads of comments on that video on YouTube of people
going, you know what, I have been convinced by this.
And I'm going to vote for this guy now.
It's like, surely that is the point.
You would think so, wouldn't you?
You would think that is the point.
Yeah, and like, I absolutely agree that like, uh, you know, Joe Rogan has done a bunch of not great stuff in terms of
having Alex Jones and shit like that. It's fine to criticize that.
And Dave Rubin and all these kinds of people. I've spoken about this before where I think that the issue with Joe Rogan is that he is a, at this point, a rich, well insulated white
guy with a massive audience.
And it's very, very, very easy from that position to say, hey, I'm just very open-minded and
intellectually curious, and I'm happy to entertain whatever side of whatever argument.
And he then just very credulously
listens to whatever he is told.
But you are mainstreaming those views.
You're getting, you know, in some cases of people
like Alex Jones and Marlonopoulos,
you're giving like a gigantic platform to those people
that they wouldn't otherwise have. And also, I very much dislike any time that Joe Rogan immediately finds a reason to start
talking about transgender people.
It's pretty much always bad.
Yeah.
Because he's always talking about it in the context of like sports and mixed martial arts.
So, so like, he doesn't seem to have any issue
with it whatsoever on like a personal level,
just how somebody wants to live and their own choices
and everything like that.
He's just like, great, go for it.
His issue is always, if somebody is going to transition and compete in a sport at the elite level, he has lots of
problems with that on like a physiological level.
The way he expresses that I think is very...
It's not a try.
It's very...
It's very...
But I think he can separate issues with him with the fact that he does have a huge audience.
I think it is actually very important for us to be thinking about how we can actually change people's minds because people whose minds
are most likely to be changed are not like super Elizabeth Warren Kamala Harris stands,
you know. I feel like those people aren't going to come on side but people that are going to come on side
are, you know, working class people and people who have the same problems that
Bernie Sanders is going to address that might not be so involved in politics and talking about it?
But who got Joe Rogan?
Well, and I think a large part of his audience as well is people who are extremely disenchanted
with politics as it exists.
Yes, and I've probably taken a wrong turn on how they're dealing with that, but it's not
too late.
Yeah, but it's not our job to educate them. That's right. You should just let everything keep on going
because it's not our job to educate anyone.
And I think that's a problem for the,
you know, extremely online type of political activist.
And we've talked about this sort of thing before.
I think that as soon as you get into that realm of like trying to win the gold medal at the Woke
Olympics and making sure that you are like 10 steps ahead of everybody else in terms
of you know knowing exactly what's offensive for the specific reason that you can turn around
and like Hector people about it.
Not good.
You're not, you're not going not gonna be changing anybody's mind.
You're not gonna be holding anybody.
And I should note, that is completely different from saying,
like, oh, if you hear someone say something transphobic,
you shouldn't call that out.
Like, it's a very, very different thing.
Between that and saying like, unless somebody perfectly
aligns with absolutely everything I think and feel 100% of the time, then I don't want them
to be a part of my movement, then the only thing you're setting yourself up to do is exclude
people.
And in the case of Bernie Sanders, I mean, there's been no secret that a huge part of the
aim of his movement is to activate people who are otherwise not involved in the political
process because they've been excluded from it for so long.
And if you can reach out to an audience the size of Joe Rogans and convince a whole
bunch of people, hey, I'm trying to do things differently in a way that benefits the working class instead of the rich.
And a whole bunch of people come on board with that, then I don't see how you can see it as anything other than a net positive.
It's right, we're a pro-Jo-Rogan.
That's right. Progan.
Progan. Joe Progan. No, like we said, it's, it. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. Wea. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. Itgan. Progan. Joe Progan.
Joe Progan.
No, like we said, it's, it's, it does, it is very interesting in that it definitely tests
that idea of, do you have to absolutely agree with every single opinion that's ever been expressed
by someone to have them as part of your coalition. And I wouldn't even consider Joe Rogan to be like,
you know, he's not a, he's not a,
what they call it, he's not like a surrogate
for Bernie Sanders campaign or anything.
It's not like he said, oh, I'm out there phone banking for him or anything like that.
Maybe you should be, get out there Joe. Maybe you should. Start texting your mates.
Yep.
But I think when you're talking about an audience the size of his as well,
literally like over a hundred million people,
the idea that you can point at an audience that size and say,
they all think and feel the same way about everything is also absurd. Anyway.
But the lesson here is that being friends with actual war criminal Henry Kissinger,
very cool having an endorsement from a guy who's kind of shitty.
Very bad.
My, um, yes.
Yes, that's right. That's the lesson.
Well, yeah, having having an endorsement from a guy who spends roughly 12 hours a week
speaking publicly to millions and millions of people who some of the time says dumb stuff.
I feel like if any of us were to produce that many content.
We've never said anything that dumb on this podcast.
No, it's true. We're only doing an hour a week, you know, you can rain it all in
when you do it. We have to concentrate our dumb shit into a very small amount of time.
That's right.
That's for the bonus.
That's for the people that are paying they're in the inner circle.
That's right.
But hey, that's how you get your hot opinions about where the coronavirus came from, 5G.
5G.
5G. But if you do happen to be traveling in China and thinking, boy, a lot of this coronavirus virus virus virus thiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, a lot of this coronavirus about. And you want the government to get you out of there.
Boy, a lot of this coronavirus about.
Yes.
Like waving your hand in front of your face like this bad smell?
You know, oh, oh, the air is positively thick with coronavirus.
And hey, and you're like, boy I hope the Australian
government can help me to get out of this epicenter of a pandemic. Ben is the
Australian government able to help you do that? Oh sure for a nominal fee.
Absolutely. Well you know it's a it's like a responsibility of a country to look after its citizens.
That's sort of the social contract that we look after. And obviously if you're stuck overseas
in the middle of a dangerous pandemic, the Australian government will help you.
Why are you, um, yeah, like I totally agree. Why are you rubbing your four fingers
and your thumb together in that motion
while you say that? Look if you just give me... Why are you wiggling? Why are you wiggling your
eyebrows and rubbing your fingers together? Hey hey, hey, I'm going to take care of you just a little
bit of cash. Why are you opening... Why are you opening that uh that beige sack with a big dollar sign printed on the side and holding it out to me?? the the the the the the the the their... their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why you, why you, why you, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why th, why, why, why th. why th. Why, why th. Why, why th. Why, why th. Why, why you, why you, why you, why you, why th. Why th. Why thi. Why thi. Why that, why tho. Why tho. Why tho. Why tho. Why tho. Why tho. Why tho. Why tho. Why that, why that, why expectantly. Money please. So absolutely, Australia's going to get you out of there.
They are going to fly you to a little lovely island called Christmas Island.
And hey, with a name like that, it must be magical every day, every day of the year.
Now if you're an internationalist, you might hear Christmas Island,
and maybe you're picturing something like,
you know, the end of like the meaning of life
where they're seeing that it's Christmas at heaven, every single day,
it's Christmas day.
That's not what Christmas Island is.
It is a prison island where we indefinitely put people that have committed the hideous crime of attempting to seek persecution persecution persecution persecution persecution persecution persecution persecution persecution persecution persecution persecution persecution persecution persecution persecution to persecution to persecution to persecution to persecution to persecution to persecution to persecution to to to to to to to to the to the to the the the the the the their their their Christmas their Christmas is their Christmas is their Christmas is, their Christmas is, their Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is, their Christmas is Christmas is Christmas is their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their ch ch ch ch. their ch-c. their ch-s. thi ci. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiii. thiiii. thii. thii. thi. thi. their thi. thi. thi. put people that have committed the hideous crime of attempting
to seek persecution to come to Australia by boat.
Why would someone seek persecution then?
Do I say seek?
Sorry, flee persecution to come to Australia by boat.
So this used to be one of our primary prison islands, for we have many, at the moment.
Well it had been shut down for the last couple years, but an extraordinary expense in the cost of millions of dollars. We to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the their their their to their their thi thi their their thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi thri thriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thriiiii. thri. thi. thi been shut down for the last couple years but at an extraordinary
expense in the cost of hundreds of millions of dollars we reopened our offshore detention
facility to house a family of four. There are a family there that were living in Billuela in
Australia where the country said that no you get the fuck out of here you're not real refugees we're putting you on prison island
two parents two kids they were hanging out there largely by themselves and now
the government is saying hey you got that coronavirus maybe we're chucking you on
the prison island for 14 days yeah that's when the government says to the
family of four do you guys have the
coronavirus and they say no actually and the government goes, oh well about that. Do you want it?
Yeah. So you will get a change as good as a holiday the government says. You'll get a fortnight on
the prison island, which also has a small residential population and at some point I believe in the past was a very small tourism destination.
You have 14 days on the prison island.
They'll cost you up to $1,000 to get up to $1,000 to get there.
But then the government, if you're all clear, they'll take you back to Australia.
So the government would, the government is going.
is going to do this but you have to pay a thousand dollars to get onto the plane and be taken to quarantine. Yes. That's just good public health care.
Well it's gonna be fine it's just a thousand bucks per person I assume and
then you get taken back to Australia.
You're using the term Australia quite loosely. Yeah it's just back to Australia. They're taking you back to Australia. So for instance you live the the the the the the their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to th. th. to th. to to th. th. to to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. te.a. tea. te. te. to Australia. They're taking you back to Australia. So for instance you live in the outer suburbs of Belmont.
Great, they're flying you to Perth. Maybe you live on the Gold Coast. They're flying you to Perth. Maybe you live in Newman, Western Australia, just outside of Perth. Maybe you live on the Gold Coast. They're flying you to Perth. Oh, that's not bad. That works out quite well.
So I think it's maybe three hours away.
It's still a little wild way.
Sorry to why West Australia heads out there.
I don't know shit about Western Australia.
So they'll fly you to Perth,
and then they tell you, go fuck yourself.
And it is up to you that small country that's next to Germany, right?
Australia is very, very, very big.
From Western Australia to, well from Perth to the East Coast, where all of our major cities
are except a few other ones that we don't give a shit about.
I believe that's like a six hour flight.
Does that sound right a six hour flight. Is that, does that sound
right to you guys? It is cheaper and quicker to fly to the country of New Zealand than it is
to fly to Perth from... It's cheaper to fly to the island state of Hawaii. It's pretty fucked up.
Perth is nowhere. There's nothing there. They made a few good bands, all of those bands immediately left. And that's where they're going to drop you off.
When, yeah, look, let's be real. Countries do be. I'd love to be real with you.
Let's stop being friendly and start getting real. I don't, I don't like being real.
Let's turn the chair around. Sit down on it. Smash our balls from how we've decided to sit on it. And th. And th. And th. And th. And the th. And the th. And the they they the they they they th. And they they th. And they th. And they're th. And they're they're the they're they're they're they're they're the. And the. the. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they're they they they they they they they they they they they're they. And they're they're they're they're they're th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theatea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. And thea. And turn the chair around. Sit down on it. Smash our balls from how we've decided to sit on it and get real.
When we came to Brisbane a couple weeks ago to get out of the bushfire smoke for a bit,
we drove up and it's like 13 hours to drive from Camber to Brisbane.
And we were very lucky that we like sent our kids on a plane
ahead of us and then we drove up.
So for anybody out there with little kids,
you might recognize that as a vacation of its own
to spend a whole day in the car with your partner without any little kids in there. It means you can do things like, listen to podcasts or have a conversation that goes for more than the thousand to th us th us thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus to thus to to have to have to have to to to to to have to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thus thus thus and thus thus and thus thus and thus and thus and thus and thus and thus and thus and thus. thus. thus. the their their their their their their their to to their to thea thea. thea. thoo to to to to tho to any little kids in there. It means you can do
things like, listen to podcasts or have a conversation that goes for more than 35 seconds
before being interrupted by somebody. But it is still a very long drive, a very long way,
and it made me think of how every summer when I was growing up because my whole extended
family lives in Brisbane, it would be like my family's job to come up there to visit everybody.
Which meant that we would have to do that whole drive every summer. And it's a very long time in the car.
I was talking to my parents about it and they were saying like, yeah, well the thing we used to do
was like start driving in the evening so that you guys would go to sleep in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the evening so that you guys would go to sleep in the car and then we would
just drive for the entire night, like taking shifts back and forth and getting bits of sleep
and stuff and arrive in Brisbane like first thing in the morning.
My grandparents would have like breakfast ready for everybody and my parents would like
eat some breakfast and then just go to bed. I was like, that sounds like it sucks. I don't want to do that so I
won't. But a whole thing to do with your kids every year and my aunt you said
yeah we used to drive you know from Brisbane to Mackay all the time and that's a 16-hour drive. And I went great and I went, huh?
Because in my mind, having done that trip over and over again in my youth, in my mind, going
from Canberra up to Brisbane is like going from the bottom to the top of Australia.
And then you get to Brisbane and you can drive 16 hours north from there to get
to Mackay, and that's still nowhere near the top.
You know they've been, I think Mackay's what, like close to halfway?
To like, Ken, yeah.
Yeah, it's absurd to me, it's ridiculous.
And it was one of those things that like, very quickly just kind of reset my idea
of how far up the country we were traveling when we do that, you know how like in that abstract sense you sort of go oh well we're right down
the bottom in New South Wales we're going right up there to Brisbane.
And Brisbane is just a hop skip and a jump over the border and then you have
just a shitload of a country left. So much more.
Too much. Queensland is three times the size of Texas and Australia is like five times the size of
Queensland. It's a big fucking country.
It's too big.
So yeah, enjoy getting across that big old bitch by yourself.
Better start, better start working that thumb, you know? Thanks, Australian government. Yep. Enjoy. So that's cool. That's what you can do if you, it's a big, it's a big, thin' tho' tho, it's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's a big. It's a big. It's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's a big, it's? Thanks, Australian government. Yep, enjoy.
So that's cool.
That's what you can do if you would like to not be in the midst
of a great big outbreak of a virus.
Now, my recommendation, if you want to save yourself a thousand bucks,
just take a bunch of cold and flu tablets and just pretend that you don't have it if you feel the symptoms coming on. Just to the 5 off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off off the 5 the 5 the 5 the 5 the 5 the 5 their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to, tooooooooooooooooo. te. te. to. to. the. to. the. th. th. th flu tablets and just pretend that you don't have it if you feel the symptoms coming on. Just turn off your 5G, switch it off.
When you're going through the airport, just be like, I haven't had a cough, I'm not, I'm
not experiencing any symptoms whatsoever.
And then they'll let you go home.
Just um, do not wash down that Chinese Redpool or Lipton Peach Ice Tea.
Don't pour a Lipton Peach Ic over your me goregg and you will be okay.
Now, has anybody ever seen the movie Pontypool? Excuse me?
Is that, that's the zombie word virus one or whatever right? Correct.
Never seen it. Really good. Uh McCatty in the lead role,
who I will never stop. I will never stop confusing him with Lance Henrickson when I see him.
You're just making up British names, aren't you? It's American, the American guy.
Oh, see, I always confuse Stephen McCaddy with a different actor. This is very interesting, but not very
interesting, that's just for me, he's always a guy I've had a problem confusing
him with someone else. This is mildly interesting. This is interesting to me.
And so I'm assuming that what coronavirus does to people is very similar to Ponty
Turkle. Sorry, it's Stephen McCaddy and Joe Turkle are the two people I always confused. Fair enough. In the movie Pontypool, the th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thi, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thi, thi, thu, he thi, thi, thi, for thi, for thi, for thi, for thu, for thu, for thu, for thu, for thu, for thu, for thu, for th, for th, for th, for th, for th, for th, for th, for th, for th, for th, for thi, for thi, for thi, for thi, for thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi's thi thi thi thi thi's thi, thi, thi, thi,. Sorry, it's Stephen McCarty and Joe Turkle are the two people I always
confuse. Fair enough. In the movie Pontypool a mysterious virus starts to spread
through a town and it manifests itself in people uncontrollably speaking this
strange gibberish where words lose all meaning. And I assume that this disease has spread to the country of England.
Because it's Brexit day, folks.
It's Brexit day. Everybody is getting what they always wanted, I assume.
A Brexit. A Brexit for the soul.
I have very deliberately just stopped allowing my brain to absorb
any new information about Brexit some time ago. Except it happened. That kind of snuck up with
me because I had been like, it's never going to happen. This is some dumb shit happening
in the fucking UK which I don't give a shit about. What the fuck? Who fucking
care? Oh it happens. It's's been happening for like eight years it never
ends except it has ended so in in the lead up to this Boris Johnson and some other
people decided that they wanted to turn Big Ben back on the great big clock,
which I think had just been turned off because they were like, it cost too much money to run?
Uh, no, they, so starting in 2017, they started this like four-year-long
restoration project. So it was basically completely silent except at enormous expense,
they ring it on, I don't know, Christmas Day or New Year's and some other shit, but it's
like two holidays a year.
They could have just sent me up there with like an ant horn.
Hang out the side.
A boovizola.
Yes.
Oh, aw.
And the campaign, the campaign, I don't know how to describe this.
The campaign for getting it to ring for Brexit day. was they were trying to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they's they's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their things.a. things. things.a. things. things. things.a.a.a.a.a. tha. their their their their their their their their to describe this. The campaign for getting it to ring for Brexit day was they
were trying to raise public money, like raise money from members of the public to pay for
the enormous expense of making it ring. And they were saying that they wanted people to bung,
bung a Bob to Big Ben for the Big Ben Brexit bomb. It's very simple. Bung a box for a Big Ben for the Big Ben Brexit bomb.
It's very simple.
Bung a bob for a Big Ben Brexit.
Make Big Ben for Brexit.
Bung a bob to big Ben for the Brexit bomb.
On Brexit day, the bob we've bunged will allow Big Ben to bong for Brexit.
Uh, if you can bung more than one bob. Bung that, bub those bob. Bung those bobs. Bung th. Bong. Bong. Bong. Bong. Bong. Bung th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th for, th for, th for a bong for a bong for a bong for, th for for for, for a bong for a bong for a bong for a bong for a bong for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for for, th for, th for for for for, th for, th for, th for, th for, th for for, th for, th for for for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for th for a bong for a bong for a bong for a bong for a bong for a bong tho bong for a bong for a bong for a big bong for a big bong for a big bong for a bong for a bong for a bong for a bong for a bong for a bong tho bonged. Bong th forto bong for Brexit.
If you can bung more than one Bob, bung that, bung those bobs.
We bug enough bongs for Brexit.
Big Ben.
We'll do multiple bongs for Bobbs on Brexit.
Why do British people have a brain on this?
Why are they like this? They think this shit is cute. You've got your fucking Boris Johnson with these, oh look at me
I got messy hair, I used to play rugby with the old boys at Eaton College Wales.
Here's a cute little bit of words. Oh I'm so daffy. Oh fucking
bugly boo-boo. Except you didn't. I called t Truck's lorries. Which is perverse. It's a
lorry in it. No, it's not. It's a truck. Shut the fuck up. I'm trying to figure. No, no, it's
in it isn't. Oh, now for international listeners, for any Americans listening, the UK is, it's like
another country.
Yeah, it's probably two years.
The UK is a country.
It's probably too much going to.
The UK is a country.
It's very complicated. I don't want to have to explain this.
It's not here where we are. It's very complicated. I don't want to have to explain this. It's not here. It's not here where we are.
There's a place called Europe.
I'm trying to think of any movies they might have seen Europe in.
James Bond. He spends a lot of time in Europe.
Yep. It's true. And he's English.
England is also a country.
It's part of the UK, which is also a country.
The movie, the movie Euro Trip? Yeah, two thousand and four. I believe that that was...
Mr. Bean movie? Oh, what's that, uh, the Jigolo movie, the sequel where he's in Europe?
Do you Spigolo, European Jigelow?
Yes.
These are all great places to really beef up your knowledge of Europe.
Mm-hmm.
I think that's most of them, though.
That's most of the other countries or that's...
No, that's most of the places where you can learn about Europe. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's, I think that's basically it.
National Lampoon's European Vacation.
Hey, there we go.
Well, that's a good syllabus.
So there's a little bit of reading material for you there.
Hopefully that makes this a little bit more clear for you guys.
When we do say that they tried to bung some bobs to Big Ben to make Big Ben bong for Brexit.
But the bobs that they bunged were not enough to make Big Ben bong for Brexit.
Now you understand what we're saying.
You hate to find out that when you have put in the hard yards to bung
one of your bobs to make Big Ben bong for Brexit, but when Brexit comes,
the bob that you've bunged wasn't enough
to make Big Ben bong on Brexit day.
Don't bung another Bob.
It turns out there are no amount of bobs you could have bunged to make Big Ben bog on Brexit
day because the House of Commons committee that makes the decisions on whether or not
Big Ben bogs won't take donations.
Oh. That seems like a fundamental problem because
here you are. You've you've bunged all these Bob to Big Ben for the Big Ben
Brexit Bong and then the day of Brexit comes and now you're Bobless and you're
bongless. And boneless. You're boneless. Yeah. Bongless and bobless you know.
I hate the UK. A fucking stupid place.
All right so what happened was Boris Johnson says we're gonna make big Benbomb
and then some parliamentary committee says no we're not. And he goes okay how much is
it gonna cost 500,000 pounds? Cool. Okay well we'll do a little crowdfunding and then some people do it and they raise
277,000 pounds.
And then that committee says no.
And now we're bongless on Brexit day, even though we bunged 277,000 bobs.
You hate to see it.
So now what they're doing instead is a light show, which seems patronizing to me.
How about some colourful lights?
Will that make you feel better out the bomb that you bunged for a Brexit bong?
I guess.
How do you represent Big Ben bonging through a light show, you know?
Like interpretive dance, it's just someone standing on the top just like waving their arms
simulating bogs.
Oh dear, absolutely ridiculous stuff.
You do hate to see it and you hate to not hear it, I guess.
You hate to not hear it.
You've got your big, fucking, extremely gnarled ear that is a bright red
colour. It's got tufts of air coming out of it like fucking marsh foliage. Describing
the most British ear that's ever been described. It is the sort of ear you would expect to find
on a like 150-year-old hobbit. It is angled towards Big Ben, there is a very stumpy hand, also bright red,
weathered from a hard life of picking up warm beers, slamming them to your mouth, putting them down
and picking up the newspaper. And it's waiting. It's waiting for the bong.
The Big Ben Bong for Brexit. Because you bunged that Bob bong. The Big Benbong for Brexit.
Because you bung that Bob. And the Big Benbong never comes.
A single tear rolls down the ruddiest cheek you have ever seen.
It plops into the warm beer, lowering its temperature and making it undrinkable.
This beer is 11 degrees now. Oh, disgusting! Another day ruined. Another
day in dreary great England ruined. So, you know, they got that going for him, which is nice.
Now, before we run out of time today, I think we might take a quick little trip over to a little place we like to call
Nature Corner.
Country Roads, take me home to the place I belong,
I belong,
will take some,
Nature Corner, Robbercraft, Ultanism, nation corner, roller crabs sniffed my deer.
Beautiful.
That eagle gets me.
Every time.
That's the good stuff.
Now Ben was perusing local news as he likes to do.
Man of the People.
He likes to have his ear on the ground.
What I particularly love is that we live in a time now where the sort of veil of secrecy
between us and reporters has completely dropped.
Thanks to their bosses trying to drum up fucking social media metrics, they force them to tweet
about every single moment of their lives, even when they're off the clock, they're live
tweeting the radio, they're doing whatever, they're always tweeting about everything
that's going on.
They're just like us.
They're just like us. And we get to see behind the today, and just, their, their, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, their, their, thi, to, th, th... their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, te, te, te, te, te. teat, teat, tea, tea, twea, twea, twea, twea, twea, thi, never would have gotten before, you know, 10, 20 years
ago or whatever. And it's stuff like this, it really makes you admire the industry as a whole.
This is take as an example. This is the wind-news Tasmania state political reporter, Meg Sides.
This is a tweet you did yesterday afternoon about 2.30 in the afternoon.
Here we go. The snake handler we were interviewing in regards to a
snake bite death just got bitten by a tiger snake and is being treated by paramedics. We are currently
in possession of the snake. There was a little update to this in the replies, in even worse
news, I was holding the snake at the time.
Oh my goodness, Nick.
So, just, let's get the thought process here, right?
So someone died from snake bite death.
So they're like, we will get an expert.
We better interview a guy holding a snake.
When he should be holding a tiger sake at the time that we're interviewing him. Yeah. And that she that she that she that she that she that she she she that she that she should that she should that she should that she should that she should should that she should should that she should that she should should that she should should that she should that she should that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. thi. that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to thiiiiiii. I thiii. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I the time that we're interviewing him. Yep. And then she's gone, oh, well he looks quite cuddly actually.
Could I hold that?
And the guy's gone, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
And then I assues- He definitely won't bite anyone, he says.
If there's not a chance, he'll bite anyone.
And then he goes, ah, I've been hoisted on my own tiger snake. Ow, my petard.
The man was transferred to the ICA shortly afterwards and anti-vetim was administered.
The snake is back in professional care.
It's good time.
Now, I do just want to dip a little further into this scenario because we really have
to try to project ourselves into the mindset of the person who is holding the tiger snake,
I believe that would be Meg in this scenario. Certainly. The person who's holding the tiger snake
when it bites the professional snake handler causing him to say,
oh no, I've been bitten by the very poisonous snake. professional snake handler, causing him to say,
oh no, I've been bitten by the very poisonous snake and immediately need paramedic attention.
I'm assuming at this point a lot of the focus goes
to the man who's been bitten by the snake, right?
Well, you're just flailing around with this snake in your hand, right?
Well, and then you have to stand there and I guess kind of try to be chill while you're
holding the snake that you are now keenly aware is poisonous and apparently does not
have as big an aversion to biting people as you were led to believe.
Absolutely. Or his appetite for biting has just been satisfied.
Well, or has the snake's bloodlust been conjured?
Is he like, you know what? That felt good.
If only there was someone else around here.
I could sink these two little pointy bad boys into it.
See, I would avoid this by never holding a tiger snake.
Yes. Yes. Like preparation is better than the cure, you know?
Is that the thing? Prevention. Prevention is the only prevention.
Snake abstinence is a position that we champion on this show.
I would like to give some more time to the sentence. We are currently in possession of the snake. Because to me like as you've described right so the guy, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the sentence we are currently in possession of the snake.
Because to be, like as you've described, right, so the guy, he's been bitten, we've gone...
Oh no.
Shit.
Call Australian 911.
What triple zero as we call it.
And they have been like, and I guess we'll keep this. You've got to go to hospital. We'll just hang on to your tiger to to to to to to to to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to to you to their their their their to their tiii ti ti ti ti ti ti to to to to describe to to to describe as you've to to describe as you've and I guess we'll keep this.
You've got to go to hospital. We'll just hang on to your tiger snake for a little while.
Just hang on to it.
Like two hours later is when she tweeeered the snake is back in professional care.
So there's like a two hour window where they're like, and um,
we'll just, I'll put this in the back of my car. I guess I'm gonna chuck this in the back of my RAV4.
I just let him slither around for a little bit until someone comes and takes him from my hands.
I believe you basically just have to stand very still doing the pose that Britney Spears did when she was holding the large snake at like the MTV, oh
sorry, the VMA's, I believe it was the VMA's, holding a great big snake and you
just have to just let it slither around on you and remain very calm.
Try to slow your heart rate, I guess.
Don't show it. No sudden movements like to reflect that you would prefer to not have the poisonous
bitey snake on you anymore.
Act like you'd love it.
Pretend like you're just waiting for it.
Psychology.
Oh, I'd absolutely hate to be bitten.
Wait, that's the wrong reverse psychology.
I'd love to be be bitten. Well, start try to assert yourself as the alpha in the alpha in the alpha in the alpha the alpha the alpha the alpha the the the the the the the the to the the to to the to the the the to the to not to the the to not to not to to to to to to to to toe-s the poe-sieaity, to to to to not to to to to to to not to to to'd love to be bitten. Exactly. Start, well start trying to assert
yourself as the alpha in the scenario, you know. If you show yourself biting another
person harder than it can bite. Maybe bite the snake. Just get in there. Yeah.
Although I really must reiterate Lucy's position that I agree with entirely, which is
Don't hold the snake
Oh, so you don't like birds. You don't like snakes. Is there any animal you do like?
I don't mind the birds that pick up the snakes and fly off of them.
The enemy of your other enemy is now your friend. Yeah, as long as I also don't have to have that gigantic talent eagle land upon me or
anything like that.
What if a giant eagle picked up you, would you find it funny then?
Oh no.
It would be very funny.
Where am I coming?
You know how there are like historical cases, theyrowns.
You know how there are like historical docke it's a baby away? Like, it'd be a part of you, despite the overwhelming existential terror of watching a bird take
your baby away, you kind of have to laugh, right?
You know, I'm one of the odds.
I think you'll just pick up my baby.
And then you go back to hysterical grief.
I do not see that coming.
I will, in 25 to 55 years time, I will laugh about this. And one day hopefully I will reconnect with my child that has been raised by eagles.
I'm assuming that's what they do with babies.
That's what I would assume is happening when the eagle's saving my baby is, he's another life
is for him. He's not my child anymore.
It's how most adoptions work. That's right.
Oh my goodness.
Well, um, I kind of feel like that's about all we have time for.
Now, if you would like to bung a Bob to the show,
for only five Bob a month, bunged to us monthly, um, you two could be listening to a bonus episode every week.
20 quid.
20.
It should be noted that this is absolutely not a one-to-one currency.
It's five American dollars.
Not sure how many Australian dollars that is, and it's definitely not five quid.
I will tell you, it's roughly eight Australian dollars.
And five pounds is approximately 1,200 Australian dollars.
That is correct.
I've been to London and I can confirm this is true.
Can I just, a little, sorry, backtrack slightly, just looking at a story
here from Slate. According to a 19-10 story in the Milwaukee Sentinel, a two-month-old child was stolen from its cradle by an eagle,
who then took the infant to its nest at the top of an oak tree.
So I think you might be right.
I think...
Wow.
It took it there to raise it as its own.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Beautiful.
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Yes. And that's it for us, folks.
Thanks for joining us.
And maybe we'll see you over on the bonus one, you know?
Maybe we will.
Wink, wink, wink.
See everybody.
Bye.
Bye. you know