Boonta Vista - EPISODE 143: Irma Gobby
Episode Date: April 8, 2020Lucy, Theo and Ben look at what's happening in the adorable joke country of New Zealand, the awful city of Sydney, and Mr Bean's bedroom....
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Welcome to Brink Vista episode 143.
I am Theo, your host, and I think probably the protagonist of this podcast.
I'm here at a car meet, one of those places that I know all about.
People come here to show their cars off and revit.
You put your foot down and you revit, I think.
I've just pulled up in my red rooster branded Toyota Yaros.
Making my little journey around to the back, to the boot,
to show you what I got going on in that bad boy.
I open up the boot and hundreds of chickens come tumbling out.
I'm here with Lucy who's just arrived in her subway branded Toyota Yaros.
She's pulled up. She's pulled up. She's pulled up. She's making her little route around to the boot.
Show us what's in there.
She opens it up. Hundreds of meatball subs come tumbling out. How are you Lucy?
Pretty good. I'm about to dig into a nice boot sub. There's still some that are good. There's still some that are good.
There's still some that have only touched other subs. I think.
I'm also here with Ben, who's just pulled up in his fur factory, a number one Vietnamese
restaurant in town branded Toyota Yarris.
I'm haris. Now, I want you to describe what's happening at the boot of this car, because I have my
own theories, but I want to hear it from the horse's mouth.
Is it liquid?
Are we fully liquid in this boot?
As he stops, some very suspicious sounds, various sloshings, wet noises, and as he leaves his car,
coming around to the boot, we're immediately arrested.
For being a foul of the two-person party rule.
I hate running a foul of anything.
We've run a foul.
Run deeply a foul.
So the moment that the viewer would get to see what's happening in the boot of the fur factory
complete mystery.
Yeah, it's number one Vietnamese restaurant in town.
That's right Toyota Yaris.
So this is exactly the end of the multi-partisan the Holy Grail.
That's quite right.
Hmm, interesting.
Can I just backtrack a little bit here?
When you say that you're the protagonist of the podcast, do you consider yourself to be in some sort of struggle
with the other members of the podcast?
That it is your narrative arc to overcome us.
I also, no, I don't think so.
I believe myself to also be the antagonist of the podcast.
As you are, the protagonist and antagonist of your own life.
That's exactly right, Ben. Now, speaking of running a fowliffowliffowliffowliffowliffowlion, to to to fowlion, to to to to to to to to to to to the fowlion to to the fowl to the tho tho tho tho to be the to be the the the the protagonist and antagonist of your own life. That's exactly right, Ben.
Now speaking of running afoul of confinement laws, should we dive right in, Ben?
I think we absolutely should.
Now, almost to me, and obviously I want to leave this to your good judgment
because you sort of birthed this segment into the world.
I think the next two stories might constitute a, the one thing
we didn't want to happen. Let's do it. I can't play the theme for you now, but I might put it in
post just here. This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. Now if that didn't happen,
it's because I forgot. Uh, Never tell us about it.
And that would be the one thing that we didn't want to have happen. Yeah, yeah. Wow,
it's really a real inception situation over here. It's not.
Certainly not.
Fair enough. This is a story from the Sydney Morning Herald.
Let me just read a little bit of this to you. New Zealand Health Minister David Clark has been demoted and only avoided
being sacked by a Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern due to the massive disruption it would cause,
after admitting he broke the country's strict coronavirus lockdown by taking his family on a 20
kilometer trip to a beach. First of all, an incredible boss move to fuck up so badly
that getting rid of you would only exacerbate the fuck up. Really just like
digging in deep there like a... Giving you the punishment you deserve would only
compound the errors that you have made.
Clark, in a statement issued early on Tuesday morning, said he had informed the Prime Minister of his breach of the lockdown and offered his resignation.
He later told the AM show, he quote, he felt, quote, like a complete dick when he realized
his mistake.
Clark even left the door open to residing from Parliament by not standing at the next election.
Oh my God, I love the New Zealanders.
I'm not going to quit now because you're not going to take it, but if you want me to quit when the next election is on, I'll do it.
He said that on the first weekend of the lockdown he traveled about 20 kilometers to
to doctor's point the to''ve let the team down. I've been an idiot and I understand
why people will be angry with me. They're truly Australia's Canada. I love the way
they speak. I felt like a real dick. Was that good? Yeah, that's spot on. People are
to be wondering which Kiwi walked into our recording studio.
Yeah, we got one of the guys from the worst idea of all time.
The hot one.
Let's not go into that any further.
They're both kind of, kind of hot in a waifish heroine way.
They're both extremely charming and attractive men.
Oh, um, when I was listening, they were talking about, is it P?
They've got their own word for meth over there.
It's bizarre.
Did you say P? P? P? Maybe.
I'm trying to remember.
If you know what the Kiwi term for meth is, let us know, because I've forgotten.
It's really just a service for me.
What a beautiful aside you've brought to this podcast. Clark told the
Prime Minister his movements during lockdown on Monday evening as he prepared
for Parliament's Epidemic Response Committee which will meet on Tuesday. She was
pretty angry, understandably, comor, disappointed,
they were a mess. She was pretty angry, comma, understandably, comma, disappointed,
comma. Hmm, they're not about that.
And I hope that encapsulates it.
Clark said of the Prime Minister's reaction on the AM show on Tuesday morning.
Bloody grammar police over here.
What are you bloody right for the Sydney morning, Herald Ben.
I am never writing another word again in my entire life.
Even tweets are too much for me at the moment.
I only doing videos.
Prime Minister Jacinera, in his statement issued the same time as Clark's,
said in normal circumstances, she would sack Clark for the indiscretion.
Just a lovely thing to have your boss say about you at a press conference.
I'd fucking love to fire the guy. I would love to fire him so bad.
God I would have normally fired him. But I can't. th I can't. th I can't. then. then. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I'd the the other. I'd then. I'd the other. I'd the other. I'd then't. I'd the other. I'd the other. I'd the other the other the other. I'd the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd thathe. I'd thathea. I'd the. I'd thea' threaten. thea' too. too too too too too thea'a'a'a'a' thea' thi. I'd thi. I would love to fire him so bad. God I would have normally fired him.
But I can't. Didn't can't. Because of the other stuff.
Because he's so fucking bad. He'd somehow make it worse. Right now my priority is our collective fight
against COVID-19. We cannot afford massive disruption in the health sector or to our response.
For that reason, and that reason alone, Dr. Clark will maintain his role.
Wow, she's gone in.
But he does need to pay a price. He broke the rules. Now let's see what harsh, brutal
punishment has been meted out to him here. Instead, he would be stripped of his associate
finance minister portfolio demoted to the bottom of the government's cabinet rankings.
Damn. What's the cabinet ranking the government's cabinet rankings. Damn.
What's the cabinet ranking?
You can just be like, it's like your MySpace top eight?
He's not my friend anymore.
They've got like a piece of paper posted out the front of the meeting room.
It's just like, ah, just send it out of his best friends.
Ag Minister just got bumped up to number two is now in a fight with a guy that looks after
maritime law.
Associate Finance Minister Portfolo, do you think that's something where people are like,
I've finally got it.
This is the power grab I wanted my entire life.
I hope he's doing okay after having lost that.
Ardern said there were no excuses for his actions.
Last week Clark came out of fire for driving to a mountain bike park,
more than two kilometers from his home.
Clark confirmed to stuff, this is one of New Zealand's major news websites,
what an adorable country. Yeah, sort of like the Sydney Morning Herald.
Yeah, Stuff. Stuff.
Stuff.
Horrible. A Clark confirmed stuff he had driven from his... Sydney Morning Herald. Stuff. Stuff. Stuff. Ed. Stuffer.
Adored.
The clerk confirmed stuff he had driven from his...
I don't actually know how to pronounce.
Deneed. Yeah, okay. I've never had to say it aloud.
And their accents make everything sound like a mess.
Sure do. Not like ours. Ours, it's the neutral.
It's the base, the base accent off of which other accents are built.
Yeah, other accents take ours and then remove four to five vowel sounds from most regular
vows. Don't know why they do that. That's right. Clark confirmed stuff, he had driven from his to
Needon home to ride andum bike trail. What is happening there? And mountain bike. They fired all the sub-editors.
Disgraceful.
Everyone's working from home, all the standards have gone.
That's right, everyone's drunk.
Everyone's fucking wasted at the editing desk.
I don't blame them.
This is my only chance to get out for some exercise in daylight hours.
The track itself is not challenging.
Okay, weird, and is widely
used by families of foot traffic. I know that now is not the time for people to engage in
higher risk exercise exercise activities. Does he mean like extreme sports? Like I'm not going
to go crazy snowboarding? I think he's apologizing for doing sick BMX jumps. I think that might be it.
But not too sick, just like, just a little one.
I wanted a little bit of some sick stunts on my lunch break, I fucked up.
He just does that one where you kind of like tilt the bike slightly to the side before landing.
Yeah, that's cool as hell.
Yeah. Or he's doing the ones where like his entire body posture makes it look as if he has done a jump, the the th. Yeah, the th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, just, just, thick, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the th, the the thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thiiii, thi, just just just just, thi, thi, that's cool as hell. Yeah. Or he's doing the ones where like his entire body posture
makes it look as if he has done a jump,
but the back wheel is stayed in contact
with the ramp the whole time.
Oh yeah, so he's riding along and then he kind of like
really hunkers down and then pulls the handlebars up,
and gets like maybe three or four inches of clearance. And it's not even like a wheelie or a mono or whatever, no. Because the the downwards motion of
going down the ramp has already sort of made that happen so it took no extra
strength on his part. But it still looks cool if you're say like a 12 year old
watching some of the older kids go on the ramps. It's very specific. Yes.
I see if this is a universal childhood
experience for everyone. Oh, that's sick Tyson. How do you do that? That's how I sounded.
And that's how he sounded for sure. Except he's a presumably 40-something-year-old man.
He apologized to the Prime Minister after Stuff reported on the mountain bike trip.
Oh, adorable country.
I have got this completely wrong.
I've made a mistake, Clark said, of the beach trip.
Clearly, I was not thinking straight.
I can't afford to make errors of judgment like this.
Clark said he didn't recall that he had broken the rules by going to the beach
until Monday night.
I thought carefully about was their their their their their their their their their theached the rules? It was bloody obvious at that point. I felt like a complete dick if I'm honest.
Kiwis have been ordered to stay at home for a four-week lockdown.
A severe measure hoped to break the community transmission of COVID-19.
It's precious.
What a fucking idiot.
What a dumb bitch little hobbit country.
Oh, you got me. I went to the beach please don't fire me. And
then he quits. And we tries to. It tries to and they won't let him quit. No. But he might not run.
This is this is totally alien as an Australian. I mean if I was cynic, I would say that this is a fun circumstance they can play out
to stress the seriousness of the lockdown with no actual consequences, where he just starts
to suck it up and be yelled out a little bit, and then be sheepish to the camera, and then,
even though nothing's really changed, they're still enforcing that hard line. But if I was not a cynic, I would say New Zealand is a joke country where adorable things happen.
I just find it very, very difficult to reconcile versus like Australian scandals where someone might be like
buying up property next to a rail line that they also have a hand in developing through parliament for like years and years.
And then nothing ever happens.
Nobody ever suffers any consequences.
And then the news switches to Cash Cow.
I love the Cash Cow. I think I don't actually know what time Cash Cow is.
Well, my understanding is that breakfast television runs from 4 a.m. until about 4 in the afternoon.
There's, yeah, there's breakfast time.
And the cash cow is just always on TV. Always in the frame.
Doesn't matter what channel you're on.
Doesn't matter if it's the ads. Doesn't matter what the show is.
Somewhere the cash Cow will find you.
Here's a second installment of the one thing we didn't want to happen.
Arguably a more egregious installment of it.
This is a new story from the ABC, the Australian one, the OG.
Two off-duty police officers have been fined $1,000 each
after breaching coronavirus restrictions by attending a party of the Sydney CBD at the weekend.
At the weekend, I don't know about that.
Sorry, I'm being very picky today.
Very picky. I don't like that phrasing either.
I'm pleasant.
Would you say at the weekend? On the weekend. Thea? Definitely on the weekend. I don't even know why this is
up for debate. Maybe it's some Sydney shit. Yeah, it might be some Sydney shit. ABC or... I know
tiger's probably good his filthy little dictionary fingers in there somewhere. Yeah, but now it's made me feel
bad because I've suddenly become one of the people needlessly complaining about something that is under Tiger's purview.
Shout out to a friend of the show, Tiger Web, whose job appears to be fielding emails from
a hundred and twenty-five-year-old men who are annoyed that they're using like bad conjugation for French verbs
or whatever
instead of the naturalized English version of them. It's very strange.
Officers spotted a 27-year-old female senior constable drunk about 8.30pm on Saturday.
She was being assisted by a 31 year old man and officers sued and found out the pair had been in a party at a nearby apartment.
Oh, that's embarrassing. Drunk at 830.
Oh, that is better.
Come on, sis.
That's a... Jesus.
Even more embarrassing is the next sentence.
Uh, well, this sounds mean and judgmental now.
The woman was taken to St. Vincent's hospital and darling Hurst and discharged at 2 a am I'm drunk. that's really drunk. that intensely drunk. Have we as a society lost our alcohol
tolerance due to quarantine? I don't know how much I would have to drink to get that drunk
anymore. By 830 though. I have had to take someone to hospital for being too drunk. Which, I mean,
was a mixed experience dealing with absolute professionals the entire way.
But also, there's like, if you are one of the people bringing in a drunk person on a Friday
or Saturday night, there is a very like underlying current of just, oh, for fuck's sake,
from everyone that you deal with.
Like just, it makes up such a huge dent in our health system,
like how many beds are occupied by people that just got hammered and did something fucking stupid.
And they have a responsibility of care, they can't discharge you until certain conditions have been met.
You're there for quite a long time, you know, you're tying up staff that could be looking at other things or whatever. And most of the time, all they can do they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can th th they can th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th time, all they can do is just like try and give you water until you stop throwing it up.
It's a weird experience.
My recommendation to listen to the show and everyone else, don't get so drunk you have
to go to hospital.
Sounds bad.
I don't think police should be allowed to get drunk.
.. Yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. And, thi. And, thi. thi. thi. teea. tei. tie.a.a.a. teiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. toooooooo, to get drunk. That's a treat and that's not for them.
Yep. That's fair. That's for us to enjoy. You made your decision in life.
You get to get off on the sick satisfaction of being able to tell other human beings what to do.
You don't get the refreshing delights of having an ice-cold beer.
So your ideal set up is sort of where the police are occupying a kind of monastic existence.
Exactly. They should have to.
Completely without any treats.
No treats.
Are you thinking maybe they also wear a very cool kind of trench coat overcoat?
I just think that it would be lower friction for if you need to deal with a situation, a full
360 kind of awareness of a situation where you need to fire two pistols in any and all
directions. Just stand and deliver.
You try to do cool moves that reduce the chance of being shot by other people maybe?
I mean, you really want to avoid injuries in the workplace. And you're thinking maybe that if if if if if if if if if that if that if that if that if th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the.e. their their the. the. the. the. their the. their their their their their their their their being shot by other people maybe? I mean, that's right. You really want to avoid injuries in the workplace.
And you're thinking maybe that if they have to have some sort of, like, ceremonial dress
weapon it could be a really badass samurai sword?
It's exactly what I was thinking.
Eventually someone's got to close the distance on you, it's all up to say. Oh, finally there was some sort of movie that described exactly. the the the the the their their their their their their their their the distance on you, it's all up to say. Ah, finally there was some sort of movie that described exactly this.
Oh, well.
Oh, well.
Oh, police late.
Maybe we could call it good balance man.
Perfect.
Sold.
The guy who couldn't look at art but really wanted to.
One thing about equilibrium...
Christian crosses because of symbolism.
There's a bit of an equilibrium that's always stuck with me as just a really strange detail.
Like one of their little world building moments is they have like an update over the
Don't know fucking loud speakers or whatever of the government saying all of the things they have just destroyed
For emotion crimes or whatever they called and one of the things in the list is like
X amount of computer strategy games
It's just like yep, they just took off age of empires too for making people feel too
emotional.
That's very strange.
Uh, it continues.
Police later discovered a 27-year-old male senior constable attached to the Fairfield
City Police Area Command had also attended the gathering.
Two other women, 28 and 31, who were not in the police force, were also the apartment.
All five people have been fined $1,000
for preaching the coronavirus social licensing laws,
which forbid a person from leaving their home
unless it is for work, school, to get groceries
or a limited number of other essential trips.
So take that, cops.
God, they suck. I can't imagine going to go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to a to a to to go to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to a to a to a to a thoo.ooooooo. thoooooooooooo. tooooo. to a to a to a to a to a to bad. I can't imagine going to a party right now.
That's crazy.
I can't imagine going to a party with some cops.
At all.
Sounds like a fucking parrot.
Like a cop party?
Good Lord, can't be good.
Yeah, it's a weird one.
So these laws are quite different from state to state, right?
Like, uh, obviously, you know, double, the the the the the their their their their their their, th, th, you know, double-checking and claim I make here because we are not the
most authoritative source of information. It changes all the time. But compared to the other states,
Queensland is relatively lax. One of the acceptable reasons for leaving a house in Queensland right
now is visiting other people as long as there are not more than two people visiting that household.
And they are not strangers to the people that live in that household.
So you can kind of just like go to people's houses.
And if you try and do that in New South Wales or Victoria, you'll be shot with a very big gun.
So real contrasts there.
Hmm, very weird. I don't know why Australians are so obsessed with what you're allowed to do and what not allowed to do.
You think the focus should just be on not doing anything?
Probably just on not doing anything as much as possible, but I feel like every post is about some Australians trying to get like a loophole.
Game the system? Yeah. If I visit my dying grandfather but my girlfriend is there I can fuck her. Fantastic.
Exactly. Exactly.
I think that's the George Costanza approach.
I don't know enough about Seinfeld to get that, but well done for you for that reference.
Sorry, that was my first time I got to do a, haven't seen it to you.
Oh. It doesn't feel good.
It doesn't feel good. I also haven't seen it, so really, really nailed
that one. Oh, look, I bet there are people that are listening to this that are rolling
in the aisles of the church they're in. Actually, they're going to be mad because I just
extrapolated that was probably a plot detail based on the like stuff I know about Seinfeld through cultural osmosis. Oh, that's the only th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm that, I'll th, that, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, cultural osmosis. Oh, that's the only thing I've seen maybe three whole episodes of Seinfeld in my life
and then the rest I'm just like, aha, you bet you're pretzels. Yeah, absolutely.
Kramer says the N-word.
I don't know why they had the character Kramer do that racist rant in the show.
Very strange.
Very weird. You guys know the website, Twitter.com, right?
Sure do.
I'm a little familiar.
Nah, well, you are pretty small, that's true.
I wouldn't call you my familiar, though.
Oh, damn it.
Oh, that's a good one.
Oh, fuck.
That sucks.
That sucks.
Then why am I laughing?
We'll never know.
So you know how most of the tweets on there are bad?
I say a good 90 to 95% of them are bad.
And the problem with that is that 90 to 95% of the tweets that we see are bad
and we specifically have curated timelines that we think are the best possible result
of being on Twitter.
Do you ever get the impression of like the tweets
that you're not seeing?
I think there's like weird lovecrafty and moments
where you'll look in the replies to something,
like a very, like a big tweet from a celear. Yeah, and it is like a like a like a like a big like a big like a big like a big like a big like a big like a big like a big like a big like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big th. Like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a big, like a th. A th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A big t. A big twea, like a big twea. A big twea. A big twea. A big twea. A big, like, like you'll just get a slice of what Twitter is actually.
Yeah.
And it is a fucking nightmare.
You open the turd door.
All the turds come straight out.
Turds just come rolling out of the boot at your car.
It's like the elevator doors from the shining tuards.
From the turd Yaris. And sometimes it'll be a tweet that you just figure that everyone will be in agreeance
with because that's like the sum total of beliefs of your own timeline and you go on there
and there's all sorts going on.
People have no idea how to think or act.
And we should force them.
We should.
People should know better to say the things that I like.
They should think the same things that I that I that I that same things that I think, and it's offensive that they don't.
I, it's such like, it's one of those things that like right-wing people on the internet
always make fun of left-wing people for right, being like, oh, you hate other people
have different opinions. I do, it when other people have different opinions.
I do because they have the wrong one.
It's infuriating to look at.
Even when it's like people that I like about the most trivial thing,
I'm just like, oh come on!
Why? Why?
They're some total of their life's experiences and learnings
and kind of taken all of the same inputs that we have to a particular issue and then come
up with the totally wrong output and you go, hey, buddy, think the thing I think.
And all you can do is tweet that at them until they do. Yeah, or just a picture of a
clown. Oh, yep.
Presence? Presence? Presence? Presence? Do Clown?
Unclown? Unclown?
Well, anyway, tweets, they might all be bad and it might actually be almost impossible to look
at the website without seeing a bad tweet, but to stop you from even having to put in that much effort,
we have a segment here and
it's called the Bad Tweet Roundup.
Yeah, it's the Bad Tweet Roundup.
Theo, I believe you put this one in the group chart.
Can I get you to perhaps read it out for us?
Sure, and I mean I think really my voice will lend it an absolute, very, verimilitude.
Verisimilitude?
Verisimilitude.
I definitely know what that word means.
Yep.
And I agree.
So this is from a man who's online, and he's got a blue tick to the name.
And he's got a blue tick next to his name.
Mm-hmm.
But also the dog rates account also has a blue tick next to his name.
You don't have a blue tick? Look, you would have had one too if you had your real name on there.
We all got them back in the day, back on the SBS days, don't talk to me and I don't want to get
rid of it because I don't want to get banned. Are you want that the secret bit of code that allows your replies to go directly into
the eyes of celebs?
Oh yeah, does that get you on the top of replies?
I think so.
But it does, yeah, it gets you past that ceilet barrier where they've got the only-
Only verified people?
Mm-hmm. It's a twee-hmm. And how we live we live we live we live we th we th we th we th th th th th th thi we thi we thi we that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the theate. theateate. th. theate. that's that's that's that's that's that's th metaphor for society. Really? It is. And how we live in one.
There's a tweets of Chris Randone.
Chris Randy won if you ask.
It'll make sense when you read the tweet.
Quite the opposite. Oh contrary, Lucy.
If you're asking for nudes during this pandemic, you still haven't learned.
That shit is played out.
Have a girl send you a picture of her reading a book out loud.
Or listening to a podcast.
Go on.
How the fuck?
So you know they're not dumb.
It depends what podcast they're listening to, am I right?
It's not about physical.
Connect with them mentally.
Has one of those little icons that go next to it for a...
Do you know what that is?
Because it looks perhaps like an angry cat.
I think it's a cow.
I'm just going to maybe...
Owl, the famed bird that digs.
Dig deep.
Dig deep.
All right, so have a girl send you a picture of her reading a book out loud.
So, who's she reading it to?
A picture of her reading a book out loud.
So I don't know how you're
supposed to tell that from the picture or listening to a podcast which would
just appear to be them with headphones on. But is their phone also visible and it's
can be clearly seen that they're listening to a comtown or whatever?
You can do like the Blade Runner looking in the reflection thing to like yeah there's a
small mirror in the the background and you can see the phone screen and then
you can be like oh they're listening to Radio Lab they must be a genius.
So speaking of geniuses this guy is bio just a quick of course when you
see these tweets you have to go and immediately check what kind of audience they have. They're a daily fantasy
sports writer, I don't know what that is, and host on I don't know what that side
is, Awesome Mo.com, but they're a mental health and anxiety coach an MLB
rider. I don't know what that is. And host of podcast from the dome on iTunes and Spotify.
It's a great name.
Can I just backtrack a little tiny bit here?
I've done some investigative work just now.
So this is not, I think his intended usage, but the dig deep hashtag with a little icon next to it.
Yeah, a little fucking owl. I believe it is a tiger and it is the slogan of the Benedict College Athletics
team.
Okay. Or at least of their football team. Yeah, I think he just meant dig deep as in, I don't really know what he meant, but
that was a question. He hates a dumb broods. That's what I'm getting from this. Can't
see the dumb broods. But he's horny for smart broods, so that means he's actually an ally.
Or is a better ally someone that loves hot chicks regardless of how smart they are?
I think that loves hot chicks regardless of how smart they are. I think
that is. Reading a book or listening to a podcast so you know they're not
dumb. Oh boy, it's gonna be a year. But Ben you did a little more investigative
research I believe and found this this additional tweet from him.
I certainly did. Which I think is really like as far as Hemingway
goes along the lines. I just saw it. And he says on a side note dot dot dot dot I miss my wife
hashtag the bachelor. And really he has described an entire world with a
consistent in a workings and logic all contain within this one tweet. That hashtag
just opens up just because all there's two ways that you could look at this, right?
This could be a guy who is just live tweeting the bachelor who suddenly missed his wife.
Mm-hmm.
That's how I read it.
But it's quite sad.
Or there's the second way, which is that this is a man who misses his wife, who he met
on the Bachelor in Paradise. Which he did. He met his wife on the Bachelor. th. This th. This th. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This is, th. This is, th. This is, th. This is, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh wife who he met on the bachelor
Which he did they met his wife on the bachelor and paradise
What what he was on the US? I believe maybe the fifth season of the US bachelor in paradise? Hey, then what? And then he met his wife?
And then within a year they got divorced and now he watches The Bachelor, live tweets
it and talks about missing his wife that he met on The Bachelor.
What is happening right now?
Miss my wife.
Why would you not put, by the way, I was on The Bachelor in your bio.
You know, surely that's more important than being a baseball writer.
How does that not fit into your...
Oh, what a man.
On a side, don't, dot, dot, I miss my wife, hashtag the bachelor. Just...
What a tweet. What a beautiful, beautiful story.
Now do we have to round out this segment?
Is your question, should we read out the second tweet in the bad tweet roundup?
I believe we've got one more.
It's a late entry.
All right, let's move on.
It looks like we've got a tweet there.
So maybe I guess, yeah.
Right in before the buzzer. It goes a little something like, Mr. Bean would do all kinds of Rube Goldberg hijinks on your cliff.
Right, and who was that from?
Well, that's 17, 19 p.m. so it's about one hour ago.
Sorry, I'm reading from the bottom up as far as the tweet goes.
Sorry, that's a blue tick. That's from a Lucy Valentine.
Okay. Listen.
We're all dealing with this trying time in our own little way.
Am I wrong? Is that the end of your explanation? Am I wrong? Tell us just like set the scene for us.
Extraordinary claims. You want me to set the scene? On why Mr. Me? A hour ago? though? Don't, don't describe what you're trying? to, tho? the time? tho. the time? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the th. the their their their their th. their tho. their th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. their their their th. th. their th. We're their th. their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We're all all all all th. tho. We're all all all all all all th. th. We're all all all all all all th. We're all all all th. tho. the the the thr. Extraordinary claims. You want me to set the scene?
An hour ago.
Alright, no, don't describe what you're picturing just yet.
Describe what you were doing an hour ago.
Watching Mr. Bean?
Yep. All right. Where we go?
Like the series? Mr. Bean's Christmas, you know where he gets, it puts his head in the turkeys asshole. It's what's, th th th th th is, th th th th is, th th th th th th th th th th th th thi to thi thi to thoom. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooom. tooom. to me me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me me to me me me to me me me me me me me me me me me me me, to bea, to bea, to bea, to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. thoom. thoom. thoom. tho. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. too. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe he gets, puts his head in the turkeys
It's a classic, that's, it's what it's so, so formative I think for me. It's a comedy moment.
Yeah, me too.
When he stops his head all the way up that turkey clacker.
And he's always just, he's getting up to mischief all the time. Is that Christmas? It's Christmas? It's Christmas. What's Christmas. the Christmas. What's Christmas. What's. the Christmas. What's. the Christmas. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's th. th. that's th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. So. So. So. So. So. the the the the the the th. So. So. So. So. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So. So. So. So, so. So? Yeah, that's a ridiculous thing. You're right.
You're a hundred-perce-
You're a hundred-perce-correct.
I feel foolish now.
So, what you're asserting here,
is that were you in some sort of intimate relationship with Mr. Bean?
The guy is always up to mischief.
Uh-huh. And you think that mischief would extend to... You know that it would. You know that it would. So you're picturing that maybe
you're in bed, and I'm using you in the general sense, I'm not trying to make
people picture this about you. I'm just saying a woman, or anyone that has a clit of some kind, they're on a bed, he walks into the room, he puts
his foot on a loose floorboard.
The floorboard goes up.
I think so, Ben, just sorry to break the flow here, but I think we need to describe why
he can't just approach the situation in a normal fashion.
It is of course because he has glued both of his hands inside of asbestos gloves, which he needed
to fireproof his hands.
Now this also happened after he was reading a very comically large book called How to
Have Sex, but he sweated so much when he was reading it that the pages got stuck together.
That's right. And then he tried to improvise, which got him into the gloves situation. So he's put a foot on the plank. The plank has gone up. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. This. This. This. This. This th th. This. This. This. This. This. This. This. This th. This. This. This. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. Itried to improvise, which got him into the glove situation. So he's put a foot on the plank.
The plank has gone up.
It's knocked over all the books on the bookshelf.
They've slid down onto his writing desk.
This has caused the thing in his typewriter to go kitching,
which has knocked over a glass.
The water from the glass has gone down to a powerboard,
which has shorted the electricity.
That has caused a light bulb to fall out.
That has fallen onto the cat.
The cat has been startled.
It's jumped up onto a desk, knocked over a small bust of the queen.
The bust of the queen has in turn knocked over a feather duster,
and that feather duster has gone straight onto the clitoris of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of the electricity of of of of the electricity of of of the electricityer the electricityer electricityer the electricityer the electricityer the electricityer the electricityer the electricityer the queen has in turn knocked over a feather duster and that feather duster
has gone straight onto the clitoris of the person.
Wow, you really elaborately described it.
Yeah, well an incredible retelling of it Ben.
There's just one moment that was that was missing.
The cat actually landed on a billiard's table, all the billiards, sweat flying in all directions. One of them hopped off of the table, rolled out the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the front the front the front the front the front the front the front the front the front the front the front the the the the the the the the clutter the clutter the clutter the clutter the clutter the clutress. th. th. th. theter. table, all the billiards balls went flying in all directions.
One of them hopped off of the table, rolled out the front door, onto the highway, out
front of the house, where the three-world car immediately bumped over it, spun 400 times, exploded,
the shockwave of which has now blown the feather duster off of
its perch, to reach the climax.
And that's what you're picturing, Lucy.
That's sort of what you've got going on your head.
I mean, I wrote a short tweet and it seems that it's painted a very illustrative picture
for both of you.
Well, that's just a pair of words.
You could conjure any sort of scenario.
As I said that, we experienced a brownout in this house. It's just...
Oh. Wow. You know who's coming.
Whoa. That's my Mr. Bean sound.
It sounds like maybe a glass of water might have tipped onto a power board somewhere in your house?
How loose do you reckon your floorboards are?
Oh, bless.
Bless that simple man.
Your ears always getting into hijacks, isn't he?
You imagine him try to hold down a job.
He can't. He just has no respect for any social rules.
No respect.
He goes into a store and he's unplugging shit.
He's just, he's throwing things around.
He doesn't care.
He's a loose unit.
Do you think that he is just an incredibly unfortunate person or it's cause through his own actions?
Like he's personally corporal.
The hubris is absolutely core to everything that drives him I think. So that another person that had the
same number of setbacks and hijinks could maybe have reflected on it and done
things to avoid this happening in the future but Mr. Bean has just brazenly
carried on without adjusting anything about his behavior to the detriment of all
the people around him.
He doesn't seem to see the consequences of his own actions or perhaps he's just so free that
he's just taking things as it comes.
But he lives on his own without a career, right?
He's a girlfriend at some point, right?
Does he? Isn't there Mr Bean girlfriend?
Extended Mr Bean canon.
He goes on a date, oh, he got to watch all the original Mr. Bean's.
Yeah.
There's not that many of them, right?
Like it's one of those things where as a kid you like, there are a hundred these. Irma Gob. Mr. Payne getting those gobbies. Long
suffering gobbels. Yep, long suffering, three episodes. He's going wild. He's going
ape shit on that clitoris. Every single night something different happens within the house,
causing a cascading series of events that causes her to have the longest most arcane full-body
orgasm she's ever had.
She orgasms and it sets off the next chain of dominoes.
It's like a full like 23 hour, 59 minute cycle.
It begins again every day.
It's like sore.
And he's just like walking through the door just being like I've already started it.
Now, congratulations Lucy on being the first host featured in the bad tweet roundup.
Now, like one are you isn't going to lose it in the next three to five days.
I mean I just feel like I'm probably not going to do sexualized tweets about Mr. Bean
regardless of how my situation changes but we will see.
We'll see about that.
I'm going to move on to another segment we have.
An extremely dubious installment of Nature Corner. We'll see about that. I'm going to move on to another segment we have.
An extremely dubious installment only Nature Corner, rubber crab, sniffed my dear.
So, this is only Nature Corner.
It a very, very loose sense,
because it is from a summary of a journal article
that was in the journal Nature.
We can all agree that's Nature Corner, right?
Mm-hmm.
It's clever.
I just found this very funny.
That's my only justification for this.
I'm gonna read you three paragraphs here.
Hell, you're doing the notes. That's certainly true. Human curiosity, even about trivial matters,
can be so strong that people are willing to risk uncomfortable electric shocks in order to satisfy their inquisitiveness.
Johnny King Lau and Cowell Muriyama at the University of Reading UK and their colleagues asked volunteers to view videos of magic tricks. The volunteers were then offered the chance to
see how the trick was performed, but before they could learn the secret they
viewed a spinning wheel that gave them their odds of learning the solution
versus their odds of receiving electrical shock.
Volunteers then had to decide on whether it was worth taking the gamble to satisfy their curiosity. Even when their chance of getting a shock was 50% or higher, some volunteers took the
risk.
Scans of the volunteer's brains showed that anticipation of having their curiosity satisfied
activates neural pathways similar to those involved in expecting a reward, which
the researchers say could partially explain why curiosity affects decision-making.
So, wow. First of all, this is a very, like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, first of all, this is a very like, weirdly roundabout way, like I'm
sure obviously these are smart people that have thought about this or whatever, just the
spinning wheel of possibly getting shocked and magic tricks. A two elements to this that seem
very theatrical. It's very elaborate. There's so much pageantry in this. I like it.
You could just have a piece of paper that says, yeah,
like a 30% chance we're going to shock you.
Oh yeah, that's pretty good.
No, they got to spin the wheel
and it kind of clacks over very theatrically and then stops
and then they've opening a jail cell or something.
And the magic tricks element, like, is that the most captivating thing they could think
of in terms of their being like, oh, I've got to know the secret?
Couldn't give a shit how a magic trick was performed. Like, I guess it would really depend
on, like... just go-go-go-it. I'm just enjoy vision of Lucy Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, the vision, the vision, l Lucy, l Lucy, li, li, li, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, like, I th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and go look it. I'll just enjoy the vision
of Lucy being in Vegas and just being like I don't get about these clowns.
You've got your free tickets from the hotel that you're staying at, you're sitting up the back
just being like, fuck off! fucking hate magicians, scourge on society.
Like, so you're sitting in a room, they've got to, I assume, tiny little CRT TV playing
80s videos of magic tricks.
If we're talking like some guy just being like, is this your card?
It is your card, isn't it?
That would not be enough.
Yeah, to be like, oh God, I've got to know how we did
it. But if it's like crazy, like, you know, super elaborate, making an elephant disappear
behind a mirror kind of shit, how do you like... You can just watch the 90s program
Magic's biggest secrets finally revealed. I'm surprised those people weren't killed by the Magicians Guild for making that show. How did I get away with it? I used to love that shit as a kid. I used to love it too.
Which I guess if this study was being done on like 14 year olds, sure.
Growing adults you should just be like, yeah, he put the card in upside down and all the other ones are the right way up so you can tell where it is. Oh, he palmed the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu thu thu thu thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus tho thu. I that is the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to love to love to love to love to love to love to love to love to love to love to love to love th. I th. I th th th th th th th th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th thin thin thin the. I the. I the. I the the the the the the the the the the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to, he palmed the coin just there. Yeah, I can see it when he was making you look at the handkerchief.
Exactly.
Also, how bad is this electric shock?
Maybe it's just a little one.
Maybe they're excited at the idea of getting a little electric shock, you know?
Yeah, do you reckon that they'd like facted in people with like, the same level of shock as like you know those like a
no one would ever buy one on purpose you'd only ever get given one as like a
21st birthday present where it's like a Russian roulette of a minor electric
shock. Have you seen those? There's like a little plate everyone puts
their thumb on and then it like spins a party game thing. Yeah yeah but like nothing
that anyone normal spins around them. Like the party game thing. Yeah, yeah, but like nothing that anyone fun would do,
or anyone normal would do for fun.
But they exist. I assume it's like that.
I was thinking like the ones that they put on your stomach to simulate labor.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I just watched a documentary about that.
It was a 50-second clip of Joe Hildebrad having one of those done to him.
Definitely go to YouTube and look for... Joe goes through labor.
I think that's the one.
Yeah.
I don't think it's going to be that strong.
I think they wouldn't be able to get past an ethics committee if it was going to cause you like actual pain.
Yeah, surely not.
I don't even know if they even actually shock them. No, that's
right, it's a bit light on the detail. I feel like to, it's sort of like negotiating with
terrorists, right? Like, they have to... Should always do it. That's right. If they're
setting out to do a study where they're going to shock people and the word got out that people
didn't actually get shocked.
I think that it would kind of ruin studies for the future to be published in the journal
nature.
Well, you wouldn't know something fun.
Now, I've never double checked to find out if this is true.
But it's one of those things that to me is more interesting than what the reality
is. So take this with the grain of salt. I got this from a web comic. But, strong start.
It's in dinosaur comics, the one by Ryan North, it's very good. It's a good comic. It's talking
about how doctors, you know when they do the thing where they say I'm just going to take your pulse, what he alleged in this webcomic was that they're not actually taking your pulse.
What they're doing is something where they can just observe you breathing normally, but
it's something that stops working the moment you're aware of it.
So that by hearing or reading this piece of information you've fucked it up.
Right. Makes sense.
So again, I don't know if this is true, but if it is, I've fucked you up for it.
It's probably not true.
Yeah, for surely.
You just lost the game.
Oh, remember the internet?
I don't.
I wish I didn't. Lots of people out there probably still wearing shirts that just say you lost the the the the I don't. I wish I didn't. Lots of people out there probably still
wearing shirts that just say you lost the game.
God, 100% I don't enjoy thinking that thought. Well you don't enjoy thinking most of your
thoughts so this will hardly come to surprise. Theo you've hastily entered some words
into the document that I believe that's some
things you want to talk about.
This is just a very quick update from the previous week.
You may cast your mind back to some real estate agents that we covered last week and their
approach to determining whether tenants could be allowed leniency for
rent and some of them involved quite arcane forms that people would have to fill out, including
asking whether those people have access to their super.
Now a couple of days after this started to go out,
there was a wonderful little thing
that appeared online on Twitter of all places
from ASCC, the Australian Securities and Investments
Commission.
And it basically said, if there are real estate agents out there asking for people to access
their superannuation to pay for their rent, then there are real estate agents out there asking for people to access their superannuation
to pay for their rent, then they are effectively acting
as an unlicensed financial advisor in contravention of some boring nerd acts.
And they may face for individuals a maximum of five years imprisonment and or a fine of
up to $126,000.
And for corporations a fine of up to 1.26 or is that, fuck, have they used a comma where
they meant a period?
Oh my God, what is going on here?
That's either $1.26 million or or 1,260 million dollars which I
think Ben that is how many billions? Yeah so that's a one and then a four to
seven zeros. Yep so a huge amount of money which was briefly very funny like all
things that come up in the coronavirus and then it was gone sort of like a feather that's been let go of and strifed up and then the thrifed up and thin th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th in th in th. th. th. thin here thin here thin here thin here thin here th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. thin, thi thin, thin, thin, thi thi thi thin, thin, thin, thi thin, thin, to thin, thin, thin, thin, the. thin, the. thi. thi. the. the. the, th up in the coronavirus and then it was gone.
Sort of like a feather that's been let go of and strifted up and then caught fire in radioactive
winds.
Such are the days of our lives and so on and so forth.
I also looked it up.
It is P that is the word for meth in New Zealand.
They've got their own little words over there.
How you spelling that? just p. Do we th that is that is that is th th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thathea the. th. th. tho-a tho-a tho-a tho tho tho-a tho-a tho-a tho-a tho-a tho-a tho-a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi-a thi-a thi-a thi-a-a-fff. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. theeee. theateeate. theateate. the. the. the. over there. How are you spelling that? That's cute. Just P, but just the letter P.
Do we have some sort of etymology there?
No, so they also, apparently, and this is from,
from meth expert.co.NZ.
Wow.
They also call it pure.
Now, I don't know, like, like all of these agencies, I'm sure none of these names are actually
used by anyone in real life.
So take that with a grain of salt or with grain of pee, I don't know.
I don't think we can advocate for people doing meth on this podcast.
No, you know what, do it in the hell you like.
There are no rules now, as long as you are alone in your house.
Crime is legal, and that's your crime bus.
If you want to get into substance abuse in a big way and let it ruin your life,
we're not going to stop you. And the cops can't either, because th th th th th th th because because th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th or thi that that or that or that or that or that or that or that or that or that or that or that that that that that or that or that or that or that or their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Uh, uh. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, or, or, or, or, or, thus, or, thus, thus, thus, that, that, that that that thoan. thoan. thoan. thoan. thoan. thoan. thoan. th your life. We're not going to stop you.
And the cops can't either because of this grandpass.
And sorry, I will just add, I have just noticed that Lucy's name in the, in the cast
app tonight is Mrs. Mead really setting the stage for what has occurred tonight well
before we even realized.
You were basically asking to be grilled about this.
She loves it.
Oh my goodness.
She's gone now.
What?
Excuse me?
What?
What?
to be?
took.
I disappeared for five seconds.
They're not going to say anything to me in that time.
What were you doing? What could possibly have been more important than
podcasting? Just turning the fan on it's bloody hot in here right? All right no
that's fair enough. What were you saying was it nice things about me? Yes.
Because you were talking about math and then I'd came back.
Speaking of um callbacks Ben should we revisit and Lucy Lucy as well, but I don't think you're
on that episode, Lucy, so apologies.
But we did previously, I think it was a Ben, Andrew and Theo episode, talk about the perfect
crime.
And this was a gentleman who started his first ever shift,
working overnight at a service station, I believe,
stole 11 grand worth of stuff, and then just removed his employment file,
and then they had no way of finding out who he was or contacting him.
And as far as we know, was never caught.
Wow, what a man.
So in a similar fasce to this, Theo,
do you want to walk us through this little missive
from the Oklahoma City Police Department?
Absolutely.
And first of all, I mean, it should be noted that no cops should be allowed to be posting
on Facebook.
True, or Twitter. Especially viral posts.
They're all disgusting.
Oh, yeah, I don't really want to see like the police doing the Harlem shake.
No.
You know?
That was approximately eight years ago.
No, we don't need to get back into that.
But it goes us. So this man walks into a convenience store,
with it wearing a shirt with the store's logo on it.
He convinces the store clerk that he's there to take over the shift for her.
She says, oh, okay. And then leaves.
He then steals everything and walks out. Oh, there's a lovely detail here.
Oh, absolutely.
Oh, Ben?
To quote, once behind the register, he continued checking out customers for several minutes.
Which is really just incredible method acting, I feel.
That's icing on the cake.
Like just walk in.
Walking a mile in a stranger's shoes.
It's impressive.
To me this is just making me think of how like useless I am as an employee.
Like just thinking back to being like a teen working at Woolies and being like,
oh, you can't let me use the checkout supervised.
I've only watched someone do it for 24 cumulative hours
This guy just walked in somehow figured out the fucking
POS system for this service station
Presumably knew where some things were kept in the prices of some things. It's extremely impressive. This is a high level heist
This is one of those things where if the crime that you do is really intricate and slightly funny,
it should be legal.
It should be legal.
Oh, 100%!
Like, the cops should find this guy, shake his hand, and then they should all take off their badges,
throw their guns in the sewer and then go and do something worthwhile with their lives.
What you what you what you what you what you what you what you what you what you what you are what you are what you are what you are what you are what you are what you are what you are what you are what you are what you are what you are what you are what you are what you are what you are what you're what you're th. So what you're th. So what you're describing is a kind of like irony test, I think, before the courts.
Of how it's actually extremely funny and that's what they'll let you off.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You should be let off of any crime if the judge has a little giggle about it.
You get a little chuckle, they're just like, ah, go on then.
Oh, you got me.
Until the day you get a great judge Pagliachi.
Look, that's probably all we got time for.
Probably time to log up.
Yep, we're done.
Uh, thanks for listening to the podcast.
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Yeah, you want to say bye. Oh, yeah. See ya. I can see.