Boonta Vista - EPISODE 170: Ragin' Cagin'
Episode Date: October 12, 2020If a hacker remotely locks your dick in a cage but you're wearing the cage hoping someone remotely locks your dick in there, have you really been hacked? Plus: charging entry to Bondi beach to democra...tise it, rescuing hikers with jetpacks, and Paging Dr Lucy. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at mailbag@boontavista.com! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: boontavista.com/merchandise Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista
Transcript
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Welcome to Buntavista episode 170.
We're here at the Boomer killing factory.
It's very real and our generators are powered by every tweet that says kill all boomers.
That's why Twitter's had to start banning everybody.
Dressed in a snappy tan suit and tie, reaching his hand into the big bingo ball cage.
He's pulling out a ball and he's yelling, number 13, unlucky for some, especially unlucky
for Grandma Jean, who is heading straight to the killing floor.
It's Andrew.
Hey, how you doing?
See you later, Grandma Jean. Enjoy it, I guess. It's not really made to be enjoyed, but it seems like a polite thing to say. Uh, I've got to say, if you love what you do, you'll never work a day your life.
And you do love what you do. You can see it in your eyes.
I will not be taking my mandated break this shift.
Frantically pacing and talking on his Bluetooth headset.
He's on the phone to head office, talking about strategies for optimization and increasing the boomer murdering productivity. He's saying things like
synergy and growth hacking and I think our skull crusher 5,000 needs to be larger. It's Ben.
Hi Ben. We need the skull crusher 6,000. We need it. Could I just start, uh, just before the
pandemic hit. I was just about to start doing a like once a month thing as a b..... to to to to to to to to the b b b b b b b b bing to to to the bing on the bing on to to the bing on to the bing on to to to to to to to thoom. the boom on the boom on to to to to to to to to the boom the boom the boom the boom on the boom on the boom on the boom on the boom on the boom on the boom the boom the boom the boom the boom the boom the boom the boom the boom the boom the boom the boom the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the bing on the bing on th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. to to to to to to to to to to tooomer. tooomer. tooomer. tooome. tooome. to. to. to. th. the the th, I was just about to start doing a like once a month thing as a bingo caller.
At a friend's cafe they were going to like open on Friday nights do bingo and burgers and I was so
excited at the prospect of like, you know, they love doing the cutesy like rhyming things or whatever,
you know, number 11.
A pair of legs, 11. Yeah, but just making all of them completely nonsensical, just being like number
17, a big fat chicken.
And they're just doing that for every single number.
I'm so excited.
And then the bastard COVID happened and I'm bereft.
I'm bingo-liss.
I'll never be the professional bingo caller that I dream of being. I'm genuinely sorry to hear that I can really really see you in that role. I'm bingo-less. Without bingo. It would have
been so good. It's very sad to live your life not free. Live your life constrained. You know.
I was really wondering how you're going to segue here but live your life shackled as it
were to your existence as not a bingo caller.
Some people opt to be shackled voluntarily.
Some people specifically have shackles applied to particular parts of them.
Because they want their hands free, and want their feet free.
You know, you need mobility, but there's other parts
of them that they feel need to be restrained. And these are the people who by
themselves chastity devices. This is the thing that I don't understand. Okay, and
welcome to this is something we don't understand, Corby.
Speak for yourselves. Oh, sorry. Now this is an article that Lucy was, I'm going to describe it as, too excited to talk
about.
She's been walking around the house chanting Dick Cage, Dick Cage for a while now.
I'm almost certain I watched a movie recently where one of the guys in the credits
was called Dick Cage.
It's a good name.
Good name, great product. one of the guys in the credits was called Dick Cage. It's a good name. I hope that was real.
Good name, great product.
This is from Agence France Pruse.
One day we're going to learn how to pronounce that
because it comes up like what in every four episodes.
Probably France, France pray or something, you know.
Oh, that is not today.
Smart, male chastity device can be controlled by hackers, users warned.
Were we just talking about how like stop adding the internet to things because it doesn't work?
Yeah, it somehow... It doesn't work and it's dangerous.
The last episode will rattling off examples like smart locks we didn't settle on smart dick
in there because of a software bug. Well, I mean, it's, it's bad to get locked out of anything, you know, your house, you can't, their their their their their their their their their their their their their dick in there because of a software bug. Well I mean it's bad to get locked out of anything.
You know, your house, your car, your urethra.
You don't want to be locked out of any of those things against your will.
Locked out of your urethra.
As you want to get access.
I'm trying to get access to my urethra. So you want to do some sounding, but you to, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, to, their, their, th, th, th, th, thage, thage, to, to, to, thage, thra, the, thra, thra, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. tha, tha, tha, tha, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, th-a, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha So you want to do some sounding, but you can't because you can't get into a urethr.
Because you can't get into a urethr.
Yeah, basically. I need to fish around in there.
I don't know how people do that.
I feel like any lockable thing that can be hacked is probably not ideal.
But the very least, you know, like toy handcuffs,
how they have a little release on them, by law,
all of these things should have, which I guess would not make sense if it's your house lock,
and like someone could just walk up to it and be like,
I'm just going to press the safety button and then walk right into your house.
I don't trust the computers don't trust the computers. I don't trust software. I've developed enough software in my life to know that most programmers are bad and lazy
and it's really easy to fuck things up without him thinking about it.
Don't trust him.
So, here we are, once again, from the pervert nation of France, sending us some vital information.
The maker of smart, male chastity device has
recommended using a screwdriver to break it open after warnings that it can be
locked remotely by hackers. I know when I'm just out and about and all of a sudden I
hear the sound of my chastity cage slamming shut in my pants.
Oh wait a minute. Oh no.
Just a little click just your eye twitches.
Everyone's like, what was that?
Nothing to worry about it, bro.
I have to go home and get my keys.
Just to sort of aid with the, again, this is an audio medium.
So I'm going to have to describe what this thing looks like.
It looks like a cage for your dick. It does. But I, just, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, just, just, just, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thei. thei. thei. thei. thei. thei. thei. the the they. th. th. th. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too, just, just, just, to.thing looks like. It looks like a cage for your dick. It does, but I just
because I want you when you think about jamming a, oh no one of the photos in
the Google images results I just looked at definitely has someone's ball sack in
it. Oh two of them do. It's pretty heavy duty, you know. It's very close to the penis. Oh it's got a hole at the end. You're not locking yourself out of you, the the the. thin. thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. Oh, the thin. Oh, the the the the photo. Oh, the photo. Oh, the photo. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the the the the the th. Oh, the th. Oh, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Oh, the th. Oh, th of your urethra actually. Oh yeah well otherwise you wouldn't be able to wear it all day. In that case I have no
issues with this. But you're jamming a screwdriver into one of the more
sensitive parts of the body. I probably don't want to do that. Well what are the
circumstances in which you might need a screwdriver you might find
yourself asking the Bluetooth controlled cellmate device, cellmate device.
Do you feel like that's potentially a clever play on soulmate as well?
Oh, that's nice. It's pleasant. How romantic!
Unless I guess in this scenario you may be doing it to, you know,
heightened sexual anticipation with your dominatrix lady friend or your penis is your soulmate.
And this is just helping you out with your relationship with your penis.
The cellmate device can be unlocked only via an app.
Its manufacturer, the Chinese company Chu-I issued a video titled When Nothing Else Works
I love that they had to release a video.
Have you tried absolutely everything to remove this cage from your penis?
Oopsies, sorry we locked your penis up.
The company's founder and chief executive, Jake Guo, said it was,
quote, simply not true that users could get stuck in the cellmate,
which is marketed both as an anti-cheating and submission sex play device. If you that's an interesting
concept need an electronic cage on your partner's penis to stop them from
fucking around behind you back, exit that relationship. Just get a
different partner. Yeah, don't you, that's very unhealthy thing I've ever heard. Locking up my partner's penis before heading out for the day. I love you, I trust, I that. Just, I that, I th th th th th th th th th thrust, I thus thus thus thu, I thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus, I thus, I thus, I thus, thus, I'm that's that's that's th. If th. If that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thate. If that's thate. If thate. If that's that, th's very unhealthy. That is the most unhealthy thing I've ever heard. Locking up my partner's penis before heading out for the day.
I love you.
I trust you.
I'm gonna snap this thing on your dick right now.
Have a lovely time at work.
Yeah, that's, that's no good to me.
It follows a warning from researchers that the cellmate, which clamps a metal ring around the genitals is vulnerable to being exploited by hackers,
who could lock them on-mass, potentially trapping thousands of users.
I think I just developed a new sexual fetish.
It's being the on-mass hacker.
The power trip of just being like, oh, 17,000 people can't fuck now.
You feel so powerful. You know in like, um, older prison movies, like, um, Escape from Alcatraraz and th, and th, and th, th, and th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thousa, thousa, thouss, thousands, thousands, thousa, thouse, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, thous, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, theateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateate, thous movies, like Escape from Alcatraz and stuff like that, where
they have the old style of prison door where somebody pulls a big lever at the end of the
row and they all slam simultaneously.
Yeah.
It's like that, but around the world, everybody's dick suddenly slamming shut.
Imagine if like you were wearing one of these, you suddenly felt it slam shut, but you saw someone else...
I'll try to imagine it.
You saw someone else across the room, just do exactly the same body motion as you at the same time.
Wait a second.
Hey bro, you Cajun?
Cajun? Are you Cajun right now? Cage. Are you Cajun?
Are you Cajun?
Oh, rage and Cajun.
So I guess what I'm a little puzzled by here, right?
So you got your, you got your dick cage on.
Well, you've said to yourself, kind of slap this on before it go
out for a little. I like your assumption that this is always being used on
oneself. I don't know. Look I assume that the relationship is like they said
for submissive sex play stuff where a lady says time to lock your penis up in a
little little cat. Yeah or a in. Yeah, I'm in.
And then you're not allowed out of it until the other person says.
Right, until they fiddle around on their app.
So, yeah, just a second.
Gonna fiddle the app so hard later, but not for a while.
And that's hot to me.
Oh, it's got to update first.
Hold up. Oh, it's got to update first, hold on. Sorry, honey, I've got to update my iOS.
Just give me half an hour.
It's like an unlock your penis.
So what's the circumstance in which you have it on,
but it's not locked,
and then the hacker can lock it,
or is the suggestion that the hacker could take control of the locks and keep them locked against your
wealth.
I assume so, right?
Well, what I've seen from the research I've done, what I've seen from looking straight
down is what I've seen from the years that I've been using one of these is you can like,
I think the whole thing is that they can randomly do it at any time throughout the day, right? Your partner, whoever it is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiol-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-s, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the the the the the the they-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-si-si-si-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s'-s, th-s, thi-thing is that they can randomly do it at any time throughout the day, right? Your partner, whoever it is, that is doing this weird submission play with you is like,
well, I just did it there and you're out for three hours.
It's sort of like, they can do it spontaneously.
They can turn it off for a bit.
They set timers on it and shit.
It's all about, the same, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, Damn it makes sense. I don't understand this one.
Like, it's still on your body if it's unlocked, right?
Yeah, so you just sort of, you can,
I guess you're consenting to wear it, knowing they can do it at any time.
Right, okay.
Yeah, or the hacker?
Or the hacker?
Keep it on there.
Which, again, so, like, that's, I think specifically maybe there are people that are kind of into the idea
that like, oh no, a hacker has locked my penis away and I can't control it at all.
Someone has certainly into that.
You have brought this weird hacker somewhere into your kink by being like, oh, this is the
worst thing that can happen to me. I hope he doesn't leave it on for 24 hours.
Oh.
Yeah, the hacker likes sending his ransom message.
If you ever want to get that thing off, oh, yeah, no, I do.
I do so badly.
What?
No, you've got to send me $500.
Oh, I don't have $500. Oh, I don't have $500.
Oh, no.
How long are you gonna keep it on for?
No, I just...
Tell me that I need to give you money, but slowly.
I'm gonna pay your installments, it's gonna take two years.
Oh, I love the idea of the hacker unwittingly getting caught up in the king.
Just being like, you'd ask your little pervert, leave me alone.
Keep sending this guy ransom letters and getting dick picks back.
They just keep sending you to like fucking water spray emoji over and over and over again.
Um, all right, so the company says, in case you cannot contact our customer support, of course.
Amazing visual.
Sitting there on hold being like, oh hey, yep, yes, sorry, this is my customer number, if you
could just release my penis, please. Thank you. How's your day going?
Oh, I can see that the product is actually registered under your Dominatrix's name.
We're going to need to speak to them.
You're not authorized to actually.
Is your mommy there?
Have they authorized you to call on the account?
So if you are unable to contact customer support about your caged penis,
the second option is to break open the cellmate cap with a screwdriver or similar, as demonstrated in the video on our
website, Guo said in a statement sent to AFP. This will allow you to remove the pin lock
and device. He added, compared to cellmate, wearing a traditional chastity belt, often made of steel,
with a classic padlock is much riskier. If you lose the key, you actually would need a grinder or bolt cutter to remove the cage.
Right, okay, it's got a point.
Mm-hmm.
I will say, I will say, at least there's a key to lose.
At least there's a key to lose.
It's not functional.
And hackers. Something where you just lose all ability to have any control over it at all,
without having lost anything.
Alex Loomis of pen test partners, which released the research reports,
questioned the screwdriver maneuver, wondering whether the required angle was possible while wearing a cellmate.
Also, it's a bit close for comfort, he wrote on Twitter.
Have you tried this for real? PTP also found other security flaws in the cellmate that could expose user information such as names, phone numbers, birthdays and location data.
Giving your birthday to your penis cage.
Just said you a little message on your birthday. That's very strange.
We'll let you out for one hour.
Unless you don't want that, in which case we'll keep let you out for one hour.
Unless you don't want that, in which case we'll keep you locked up for one hour.
Smart sex toys and devices are among a wave of new Internet of Things products and appliances introduced in recent years that could be operated remotely, but their connectivity is also made them vulnerable to security breaches and privacy violations. To guide against Hacks, Guo-Advised cellto remove the Chooey app on their phones and replace it with an
updated version. He's just got to update the app. Just update the app.
Every modern device can potentially be hacked nowadays he says, oh, okay.
Cool. Thank you for making it. This next sentence is really just something. When a possible security
leak with a game console, PC, smartphone or social media app has discovered and reported,
people don't seem to have the tendency to stop using them. Because my dick's not in a cage.
I feel like my PlayStation 4. He's not trap my penis. Ah, fuck, I've got to wait for 12 gig of updates before I can remove my penis from my
PS4.
Oh boy.
Incredible.
What a gift.
So, you know, maybe we haven't quite done a great job of explaining what the device was.
So I was thinking we could let ChuUI describe it to us themselves.
Have you got a little clip there, Andrew?
I sure do.
Hello, guys.
Let me introduce detail functions of CHOI to the app.
Skin QR code on the manual to download CHOI app.
Binding. Register with a device code or matching up with local Bluetooth.
After receiving your device, you will get supreme permissions for first time registered and golden luck will be appeared in the app.
I just want to point out that they have a list on screen. Oh my god, it's so good.
Of multiple devices that are registered to this one app, so theoretically you could be controlling many
penises. I assume you would be. And all of these devices are named Doge Cage 1.
As it, Doge.
Doge, Dose Cage, 1 through 3-4 and 5.
So a bunch of little sick, perverted, meme-loving fucks having their dicks locked away here.
And they point out here that once you have the device registered and you have the golden
lock and supreme permissions over that particular chastity device, you can transfer permissions
to that device to your friends.
Friends, I'd love that they say friends.
They say it repeatedly throughout the video as well.
Hey, would you, do you have any interest in operating Greg's penis for the weekend?
Hey who's turn is it with Greg's penis? Well you know yeah if you're going
out of town for the weekend can you penis sit?
My dog. Can you penis sit this weekend? I'll just transfer you the
permissions and then you can get in, water it, feed it? that kind of thing. Let them out to run around for one hour a day.
It should be fine. It basically looks after itself.
From missions kill your friends.
An upper right corner of the device interface, you can transfer device permissions,
that unlock timing and change device nicknames.
Instructions.
After downloading to an app, where and controller register at the same time and add friends
to each other.
Oh, being friends.
Oh, being friends.
The controller can give permission to wear in the authorization management interface.
After where has the permission to unlock, take on thethe little cartoon figures who are who are displaying this to us they
look so nice they look like they'll be very friendly to each other are they
nude yet because that's a very sudden transition
halfway through the man is just nude now a man and a woman on the
beach both operating their phones and giving each other permission to
both operate and operate the other phones and giving each other permission to both operate and
and operate the other person's device and now suddenly the man is alone and
naked in his bedroom. He looks so friendly. He looks so friendly.
Oh boy. Oh my god, after the wearer has the permission to unlock, turn on the
Bluetooth on phone, press the button on the device, the device will start to Twinkle
red. Twinkle is lovely. We all know Bluetooth is just so reliable too. to to to to too. to too. to to too. to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other person's the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the the other the the the thooooooooooooooo person's thoooooooo person's device. thoooooooooooooo person's device. thoooooooooooooooo. the the other person's the Bluetooth on the phone, press the button on the device, the device will start to Twinkle Red.
Twinkle is lovely.
We all know Bluetooth is just so reliable too.
Oh yeah.
I'm having trouble pairing with my penis.
Get in the car and it starts pairing to your chest and you lock.
Oh, you get it all backwards and then when you press your car remote, your penis unlocks.
I would love that little car unlock sound if this was my submissive man, I'm out with him.
Just a little...
Oh dear.
Oh, dear.
Bluetooth is a phone. Press button on the device, the device will start to tinkle red. So big. When the device's interface is open and device light will automatically
blues stabbly, then click unlock. The locking pin will pop out automatically.
Single players can also make time settings on the device's second interface.
Single players. So you can just time it yourself. I feel like what's that doing for you really?
I mean it's kind of outside of your control except you said it. So it's not. You can override it.
Well unless unless it's like once you set the timer you just can't unlock it until then. Without a screwdriver I guess. Yeah without just soaring the end of your penis off. Um, yeah, I assume that this is for like, um,
I assume that this is for no-fap guys, actually.
Like, um, great idea.
Yeah, that's, it's definitely a thing like, the kinds of no-fap guys who are like,
I would constantly jack off in my office at work and any bathroom I could find and just all over the place and
now I like put one of these things on and then I set it so that I can't take it off for
like 10 hours.
And then everyone goes, we support you bro in the comments.
I'm so proud of you man that you're not working constantly because you put your
tick in a cage. It's so funny like the language on those on those forums like Reddit no-fat
forums and stuff when guys are like I went for however many day I went for 70
days without jacking off but I you know I slipped and I did it yes they're all like
hey man that's just one time right back on the horse they'll talk to each other
like like severe alcoholics it's non one time, right back on the horse. They'll talk to each other like severe alcoholics.
It's non-toxic masculinity right there.
It's very weird.
Very weird.
You know, we love perverts on this show.
Or just talking about them.
We sure do.
It's also fine.
Another kind of pervert is the European.
True. You true. One type of person, notorious pervert.
And it seems like one of these notorious perverts has come to this,
our island nation and tried to spread his perverted ways within our culture.
I for one won't stand for it.
Here's an article from the Sydney Morning Herald. Ben has
helpfully filed this under Toilet Corner. It's in relation to the biggest toilet in Australia.
The city is by the beach. From the Sydney Morning Herald, quote, it's not elitist.
If you're starting the headline with that as a quote from you, if you did an interview
for the paper, and the headline started with a quote from you that said, it's not elitist,
you are 100% about to get rinked as an elitist.
Meet the man who wants to open a private beach club at Bondi.
This was very fun to me.
I'd prefer not to.
No, thank you. He has been branded an to to to to to to the to the the to the to the the to the the to the the to the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. theateateateate. thi. thiasteateateateate. And th. And th. And th. And the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And the the the th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And the. And the. And the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. It the. It's theanan is thean. He has theaneaneannea thea the. I'd prefer not to.
No, thank you.
He has been branded an elitist who wants to turn Australia's best known beach into a
private and expensive European style party den.
He's going to put in a conversation pit.
I mean that I'm on board with.
That's the coolest thing imaginable.
That is unfortunately not what this is.
No. Um, but Yannik Gazeek?, you you you you you you you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's? That's? That's? That's? That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's? That's? That's? That's? That's? That's? That's? That's? That's? That's? That's? That's? That's? That's? That's? That's? That's? That's? That's? That's? That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. I that's the ca? I that's the. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. That's that's this is. No. But Yannick Gazeki,
Yannick, you reckon?
Yeah, I reckon.
Yannick Gazeki says his proposal to rope off a small section of Bondi beach
and charge visitors $80 to enter his Amalfi Beach
actually democratizes Australia's most famous stretch of sand.
There's nothing more democratic.
Well...
It's a free market, baby.
It's the free market.
I would actually argue that he is actually doing a very accurate representation of Western democracy.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
He's no wrong here.
The people who front up the most money
get to sit in the nicest spot.
I love that though,
democratizes Australia's most famous stretch of sand.
It's not a leadest to give people an opportunity
to enjoy the beach in a different way.
He says, it's diversifying the use of the beach.
Diversifying the use of the beach. Diversifying the use of the beach.
Hmm. Interesting. 80 bucks. All right. What do we get for 80 bucks?
An author, avid fisherman, polo entrepreneur.
What is a polo entrepreneur?
Polo entrepreneur?
Entropone.
No, I can't make it work.
I like polentr-oprener is nice.
Poul entrepreneurial.
Entroper-a-Urpollur.
Um, no, no one doesn't work.
Is Polo the horse one or the water one?
Water polo is water,
all right.
Horse Polo is the horse polo.
So this is a great bio for this guy.
An author, and we'll come back to the author part.
An author, avid fisherman, polo entrepreneur and former lawyer.
What a...
That's quite a line up.
Willingly telling this about myself to the newspaper.
Mr. Goseck says he will not be fobbed off by Waverly Council.
I'd love to pull out my phone, deactivate my chastity device and get fobed off on the beach.
Mr. Gazeki says he will not be fobbed off by Waverly Council, which initially deemed the project unsuitable.
Council staff are now considering a revised bid from Mr. Gazeeky's company to run to the to the to the the to the which initially deemed the project unsuitable.
Council staff are now considering a revised bid from Mr. Gazecki's company to run the
beach club between February and May next year.
Quote, we're certainly going to take this process very seriously.
We're going to look at it very closely to make sure it's being addressed rationally
and in a way that is procedurally correct, he says.
The accusation of elitism clearly rankles Mr.
Gosecki, who arrived in Australia as a child speaking broken English following the death of his mother.
Oh,
something happened to you. Yeah, I'm not a hundred percent sure what like your very early stage of
childhood has to do with whether or not you are an elitist at the age of 47. But they also, they go back to, um, where he come back to, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to their their their to to to to to to to to to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi throwne thi to throwne to-a to-a, throwne, throwne, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to do with whether or not you are an elitist at the age of 47.
But they also, they go back to where he comes from later in the article.
So there's a sentence down here, it says, born in Poland, Mr. Ezekie's early childhood
was spent in Nigeria where his father taught in the university before the family moved
to Melbourne in the only 1980. So his father was a university lecturer. Like the implication of arriving as a child speaking broken
English is like you know how they in movies in America they show people like
rocking up to Staten Island yeah yeah I should say whichever fucking one it is
you know there's like 500 of them on the front of the ship being like our
life here we'll be beautiful I don't think that's what this situation is
mr. Gazeek you name's mr. Johnson now I don't know why the guy the guy I the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the guy the the the guy the guy the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the think that's what this situation is. Mr. Gazecki, your name's Mr. Johnson now.
I don't know why the guy of Stratn Island is British.
They also made me change my name, isn't it?
So yeah, I completely agree Ben.
I can't be elitist. I arrived in Australia as a child, speaking broken English. I can't be elitist I arrived in Australia as a child speaking broken English
I can't be elitist my first language is Polish
yes it's very clearly intended to paint a picture of I am a refugee you know who else his first
language was Polish Tommy was so huh and he made it big
I don't know what the implication is there honestly
is a powerful rich man now And he made it big. I don't know what the implication is there, honestly.
He said, well, rich man now.
So he has been rankled.
Bad news, everybody.
Mr. Gazeck, he's been rankled.
Sitting in the living room of his Bondi house
that he shares with his wife, Natalie, and their four children.
The 47-year-old paints a very different picture of his beach club from the proposal that
outraged Talkback Radio and social media last week.
It's family-friendly.
It's not like an Abiza club, he says.
It's fine dining, but in a casual fine context.
Oh, it's casual fine.
It's casual fine dining.
So the $80 beach club that privatizes a portion of the beach is casual fine dining.
So it's actually, it's fine ti.
What's elitist about a place that you have to pay to access and has fine dining?
And by the, but in the sense that it's a, it's a casual context in the sense that it is
on the beach and not in a restaurant.
Mr. Gazeke's older children, Indigo and Blaze...
Oh, yeah.
Wander passed as their father responds to critics such as 2GB's Ben Fordham, who said the plan was, quote,
just not something we do in Australia.
Network tends the project described it as some wanky European-style beach club.
Why? So, that first sentence, his children want to pass,
while you're asking him that question? What is the point of that? What is the relevance of that?
I feel like whoever has written this is having a bit of a laugh here. I just wanted to get the names
Indigo and Blaze in the article, I think. I hope so. They just want you to know that this man who has been accused of being a wanker is 1,000
percent a wanker.
That's the vibe I'm getting.
Mr. Gazeki dismisses talks of quote, privatizing beaches and charging people for access as hysteria.
It's open to everyone, he says.
It's 80 bucks for food and alcohol effectively, cheaper than any restaurant in Bondi. So is he saying that the food and alcohol is free when you get inside?
If so I'm listening.
Yeah, I'm maybe on board with that.
Oh, so this will become more apparent as we go down here.
But so I like, as we go down here we've got, it's definitely not elitist, it's not privatizing,
it's not any of these things.
It's just a place that you have to pay to get into for fine dining.
It's open to everyone who will pay $80 to enter.
Like that's not open to everyone.
And it takes up space on the beach.
Yeah, it's either a public space that everybody can access and once you're there you can,
I don't know, pay for food if you want to but you don't have to, or it is a privatized space.
It's one of the two.
A brochure for their favorite beach in a luxurious hospitality context as well as the high-end
demographic from greater Sydney within the 30 to 60 age demographic. So again
not elitist just for rich people who want fine dining in a luxurious context in the 30 to 60 age demographic.
Is this for swingers? Starting to get the vibe.
That's what European style generally means. That's what- Yeah,
fucking other people's wives. That's exactly what European style means.
I just love getting really mad at the idea that this is like an elitist proposal when
your own proposal says that it is...
It's for rich cunts.
It's for rich people.
It's for rich people.
It's for a high end demographic.
My private beach use to the exclusion of many other interest groups. In a letter to Waverly Council's general manager, Mr. Goseeky says, exercise tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, th. that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, that's tho, tho, that's that's that's that's that's tho, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's,ly Council's general manager, Mr. Gosecki says, exercise jogging and swimming quote, currently dominates beach use to the exclusion of many other interest groups,
such as those who wish to seek a refined cultural and culinary experience embodied by
premium beach.
I love that he's like all these people that are swimming at the beach, are ruining it for people
who want to have fine dining at the beach. Just go to Europe, bro. Europe exists. the beach. the beach. the beach. the beach. the beach. the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their use their use their use their use their their their their their the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the te.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.ea.. the the to have fine dining at the beach. Just go to Europe, bro. Europe exists.
But there's also like...
You trying to go back where I came from?
I suppose I am.
Jesus Christ.
Back to the sunny beaches of Poland.
Um...
Is it born in the Baltic Sea?
Like, there's a...
It's very hard not to think that like all the way through
this he's talking about like in the letter here it says it calls the Beach
Club quote a democratic proposition that will increase dining opportunities
while serving alcohol on the sand in a quote controlled premium
environment keeps using like premium and everything as like a premium experience.
Premium. Although she hasn't used the word bespoke yet because that's the one that makes me want to vomit the most.
It's like this like a refined cultural experience and everything on the beach. There's a very strong
vibe that I get of. Yeah yeah but you know you guys are really dominating
the whole beach experience for people who want to go to the beach but not
like mingle with the rest of you fucking riffraff. Yeah, also for dining I
love to just go to the beach for dining you know. What it's very it's very clearly
supposed to be a you go to the beach and you pay in slots to reserve
yourself a small part of the beach where nobody else gets to bother you or sit too close
and then you get to have all of the rabble kept away from you, you know.
The Bondi Beach Club concept draws on Mr. Gazeaki's experience running polo events across
Australia at locations such as Sydney Centennial Park. What's elitist about this guy? I don't get it. Like many people in the hospitality
and entertainment sector, the pandemic froze Mr. Gazecki's business and led to the cancellation
of polo matches. Yeah, that's exactly the same experience as everyone in
hospitality and entertainment who has lost their jobs from the pandemic. Like many, like many elite polo club organizers across the country.
We were struggling with finding ourselves in a position where we were prohibited from generating an income to support our family, he says.
It's not sustainable for us to just sit in our hands.
I feel like it probably would be, to be quite honest.
Yeah, I think if you can afford four kids in a house in
Bondi, you'd probably go home. No one thinks about the polo entrepreneurs during this pandemic,
you know? Shamefully, they completely slipped my mind when I was thinking of all the people
they were affected by it. Sorry, to all the polo entrepreneurs out there.
Born in Poland, Mr. Gosecki's early childhood was spent in Nigeria where his father taught a university before the family moved to Melbourne in the early 1980s.
I couldn't speak English when I first arrived.
What I do remember is making my friends through sport and drawing, he says.
Mr. Gazeki's older brother and father later returned to Poland, leaving him to
make a life for himself with his beautiful wife Natalie and kids. His passion for polo is matched by a love of nature and fishing. As a young boy in suburban Melbourne, he fished in the Yarra River.
And often wakes up before sunrise to cast a lure at North Bondi for tuna and salmon.
Why do I care about this?
Those are not fish I associate with onshore fishing from Bondi Beach.
It's getting some salmon?
I didn't think, I mean I could be wrong, but I wouldn't think there'd be a big salmon population
at North Bondi.
And tuna are things that you go out like charter fishing for.
Yeah.
You have to like go to actual ocean to get tuna.
If we're making a complete ass of ourselves about the kinds
of fish you can get at Bondi, please write in and let us know. If you have ever hooked a
50 kilo bluefin tuna off the North Bondi pier. Just throw on your little fishing rod out,
reeling up a big tuner. Just one of those hand reels, you know? His study is filled with
fish skeletons. This guy's like an alley cat. Just open cans and fish skeletons
everywhere. His study is filled with fish skeletons artifacts from his travels.
His study is filled with fish skeletons artifacts from his travels.
Who describes things they get on their travels as artifacts?
Like your fucking Indiana Jones. It's a souvenir, bro.
Like, that's the heart of the covenant. Yeah, like, the figure of St. Thomas.
Like just...
Weird Artifacts of Power, it there. It's got the Dechron up on up on the wall.
Oh no. And a cover illustration of his Adventure Angler Comics series about the world's first
fishing superhero.
Dope.
This is a new kind of guy.
He might be a guy of his own. I don't think this is a type.
Adventure Angler Comics, huh?
Uh-huh.
Is this just by him or...
Sounds like he made
his own world's first fishing superhero?
It's a real and not good comic.
My goodness.
Look at, here go Lucy. Look.
Trevally destruction. Travali of destruction. Oh my goodness.
That's pretty good. It's nice.
That sure is a fishing superhero comic. Mr. Ezekie also authored.
11,000 people like the Adventure Angler Facebook page. So it's got an audience.
Oh, all right., well good for him.
Now this is where I said we would come back to being an author. I'm sorry I just looked at
the Travalley of Destruction Cover. Where he's a white man with a large fish, possibly a travalli.
You type so. It's heavily implied. Uh, from some, uh, how would you describe what's happening here? It's a
white man running away from some black men with spears. Oh is it? It's you would have to
describe the people in the background of this image as a very, very, very antiquated trope of, savages. Yes. If you were in the 1930s you would say, uh, you would say, uh, they, uh, they, thirty's you, uh, they, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, the the the the their, how their, how their, how their, how the the the the the the the the the the their, how their the the the, how the, how the, how the, how the, how the, how the, how the, how the the the the the the the, how their, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how, how their, how their, how their, how their, how their, how their, how their, how their, how their, how their, how their, how their, how their, their, their, their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their, their, their trope of savages.
Yes, if you were in the 1930s, you would say,
Ah, it's the natives.
But this is a comic from like right now.
Hmm. Great.
So, so back in his bio we said an author, avid fisherman and polo entrepreneur.
But we never got to the part about being an author.
So it says here, Mr. Kaseki also authored Crocs and Baramundi, an account of his travels
with the filmmaker and crocodile hunter Malcolm Douglas that he says was, quote, tracking
to be a bestseller when it was published in 2001.
Unfortunately, Malcolm formed the view that it portrayed him as difficult
to get along with, which he notoriously was, he says. Mr. Douglas, who died in 2010, sued
for defamation and the book was withdrawn from sale as part of an out-of-court settlement.
But Mr. Goseck plans to republish the book after buying back the rights. My goodness. So yeah, I did go and do a bit more reading into this thing
that this guy is proposing. And he was saying it would be fine dining because the nearby
restaurants would be the one who would do the food for it. And it would work as you paying
$80 for a two-hour slot of using the beach.
I don't know whether it's you're paying $80 to reserve a seat.
So I don't know, for example, if like, you know,
four of us went down, are we paying $80 each for two hours?
Do you book a table for $80?
And then once you're there, I'm assuming it's not $80 buys you all of the food and drink you can
ingest for two hours. Because I can ingest a lot in two hours. That's kind of one
of my skills. Big time ingester. I love to adjust. What are my favorite things? So basically
everyone says this guy's big idiot.
Everyone except for the people running restaurants nearby who could sell some food through it.
But why not just go to the restaurant? You know? Why not?
Why not? I will say I don't think that he made these comics having a little brows of them right now.
Either do I. Either do I. Well, I think...
Fuck that guy.... Fuck that guy.
Fuck that guy.
And your stupid beach club.
We're all breaking up with that guy.
And we often need to try and find out if we should or should not break up with somebody,
we will refer to Dr. Lucy.
I think it is his series.
Like it's all specifically about Sydney stuff.
Is it?
It says his series on the thing.
This is very confusing.
Some of the ones on Facebook are from like 1974.
But the ones, yeah.
Well, it says 1970 something on it,
but it's clearly drawn like very recently.
Yeah.
It's like vector art.
Because the ones that are dated 2017 are drawn in exactly the same style.
Oh, maybe. This is very confusing.
We'll get to the bottom of this later.
Yep.
But for now, time to check in with Dr. Lucy.
If you find that you are having a little relationship trouble.
Just to pick up your telephone and dial it on the double.
You call one, eight hundred, three, one, seven, five one, five, now your pageant.
Docu-si.
Hey, uh, just on the Adventure Angler comic, they've posted a link to a shirt that you can buy
that has Adventure Angler covers on it.
Check out our new Adventure Angler cover compilation t-shirt, ideal for casual barbecues,
first date, all that really important work interview.
And the first replies from Dennis Pryor saying, fuck me gently. With one like from adventure angler.
All right.
So, Paging Dr. Lucy, time to ask Dr. Lucy for a relationship advice.
What to do?
I've been charging my roommate $100 plus the cost of raw ingredients for me to meal prep lunches
for him.
Personally, I prefer having more variety in my prepared meals, so I'm happy to actually
do this.
Unfortunately, I just found out from bumping into one of his friends who I met briefly
at our apartment that he has been using this to boast to his social circle that we are
a couple and I have his significant other.
Apparently he's shown people my photos in our apartment to prove that we are together and has been describing in great detail our imaginary sex life. This is really awkward and I still have seven months on
the lease. Is this even worth uprooting from the apartment for? I'm kind of mad
because this is a great location at a great price and if possible I would like
not to leave especially since I've done nothing wrong. Any advice would
help greatly please thanks in advance some lady from Reddit. What you do here Lucy? I thi I I I I I I I I th th th th th th to to to to to to th to thi to to thi to to to thi I thi to thi thi to thi thi to to this to to this this this to this this this this the to to this this this this to this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this thus I th. I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe toe toe toe. I have toeateateateate. I have toeateate. I toeateate. I toeate. I'm toe. I'm toe the the thanks in advance, some lady from Reddit. What do you do here, Lucy?
I straight up believe this one and you should immediately move out because it's super
fucking weird.
It's a really weird thing to be doing.
It's a lot of effort to move out though.
It is.
And the location's so good.
This is a pre-location.
It doesn't seem like he's going to murder you, you know?
I mean, it's the describing in great detail our imaginary sex life that's really, really the kicker.
Yeah, that kind of makes it hard to come back to a friendship, doesn't it?
Yeah.
Although I would be interested if someone did this to me, I'd be like right, what's, what he been saying about me what am I up to in the bedroom how do I fuck what's my fuck style that he is
imagined what if um what if everything that you were saying was so
complimentary of you that you were like keep telling people like maybe he's been
going around to your social circle to be like guys she fucks like an absolute demon
like this is the most profoundly enjoyable sexual experience I've ever had.
She is a true master.
If there was a ranking system for Fox Stiles, she'd have a black belt.
And you'd be like, oh, yeah, all right.
Happy to have that in the public.
Very complimentary.
She fucks like a big foot on the solstice. 100 bucks for meal prepping, that's a thiiiiiiiiiiiiiioliiolioliolioliolioliolioli. thioli. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiol-a, thiol-s, thiol-fix, thiol-fix, thiol-like, thiol-s, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. th bucks for meal prepping, that's a pretty good deal.
Not sure why that's relevant here.
I mean he's posting the food that she's making him or something.
Well, how many hours does meal prep take?
I mean, I know that none of us are meal prep people, you know?
No, I cook when I need to eat.
Having stuff in advance makes me feel like I'm controlling my own life in a way that I rankle out. I just think like most meal prep things look very bad.
Like they're all sort of steamed chicken and some cubes.
They are. I don't get it. They always make these like chicken and vegetables and
then they're like, there's my week's food. You're gonna microwave chicken five days old?
It's fucking crazy. Don't do that. I am. I generally,
I'll eat leftovers, but I kind of draw the line at like if I have eaten something for dinner
and then the next day I have had that as leftovers for lunch and then if I eat it again for dinner,
I'm like, that's it.
I'm done with the meal. Three main meals in a row is enough for me to say I'm finished
with this meal for a while. So I don't know how anybody does the, I'm just going to eat the same
same meal what two, three times a day? That would make me very sad.
But I suppose it's usually for people who are working out or on some kind of meal plan or diet
thing for whatever kind of exercise thing they're doing and a lot of people who are in that
place have got to a point where they go, ah, I have divorced myself from the need to enjoy
the food I'm having. Food is solely food.
If only we have Theo here to discuss this after he was on the silent diet for quite a while.
He would have a different take here. He loves cooking so much but he's also happy to have
nutrient slurry. So it's baffling. Classic nutrient slurry.
So your view Lucy is that she should sneak in at night, put a chastity thing on its
penis, permanently lockets?
Yes.
That's just generally what I feel like all women should be doing with their male roommates.
Hello, it's me. Ben, from this podcast.
Merriam Webster defines a podcast as a program made available in digital format for automatic
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If you like what we do and want more of this podcast made available to you in digital format
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That sweet, sweet subscriber cash allows me to do this show full time without having
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The other guys also get some money the the the the the their their their tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi whips to me. The other guys also get some money or whatever, but I don't really care.
Anyway, check that out if it sounds good to you.
Love you.
What have you to have to you, Ben?
Ooh, it's time for...
Plainly speaking.
Ah, this is your captain speaking.
Please return your seat to their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of Plainly Speaking. Plain Talk, plane talk. Is it? Plain talk? Bagely. It's sort of. I mean it's about
something that is controlled by man and airborne. Oh you mean a plane?
No. Don't know how else you'd get into the sky? Well let me tell you.
Please do. This is an get into the sky. Well, let me tell you. Uh, please do.
This is an article from the BBC.
Jet suit paramedic tested in the Lake District could save lives.
Could. Could.
Could end one very quickly.
Could go wrong.
A jet suit for paramedics, which would see patients reached in minutes by a flying medic.
They put flying in quotes there.
I think that's legitimate.
They are flying.
If you're in a jet suit, you're flying, right?
You're flying.
You just have to be airborne to be flying.
Surely.
Under your own power, I think.
Has been tthat is the
Great North Air Ambulance Service, a first test flight was carried out in the
Lake District, Andy Morrison, the director of operations at Gnaus, came up with
the idea and described seeing it as quote, awesome. That wouldn't been awesome.
It is. It's fucking awesome and shit. It's the best kind of man on the street
come out. He said it meant a paramedic could the the the the the the the the the great, to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the air the air the great the air air the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great great the great the great the great the great great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great the great. That the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the great north air air air air air air air air air air. great north. great north. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. That's. That's. That's. That's. It is. It's fucking awesome and shit. It's the best kind of man on the street coming in.
He said it meant a paramedic could, quote, fly to a fell top in 90 seconds rather than
taking 30 minutes on foot.
There we get the sarcastic fly again there.
Like you're being very patronizing about something that is objectively objectively objectively, objectively objectively objectively, objectively, objectively, objectively, the nene............ that is that is that is that is to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe. toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, to to to toe, toe, toe, toe, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thea. the the the the thea' toea. toe, toe, toe, the the, there are dozens of patients every month within the complex but relatively
small geographical footprint of the lakes.
We could see the need.
What we didn't know for sure is how this would work in practice.
Well, we've seen it now and it is, quite honestly, awesome.
Mr. Morrison said the exercise demonstrated the huge potential of using jet suits to deliver
critical care services. This, imagine being the like... I this is a typo. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the the thi. I thi. I thi. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. We thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi theeeeeeateat, thi thi theeateateateateat, thi thi thi thi thi thi ththe huge potential of using jet suits to deliver critical care services. This, imagine being the like, yes.
I think it's a typo. I think he meant to say the huge potential of using jet
suits deliver radical care. Oh, simply freaking epic. Like this would be such a
fucking sick thing to be told you were going to be doing from now on. Yeah, I'm very cool. You're a paramedic and you're like, you, you, you, you, you, you like, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, th th th th thi, you're like, thi, thi, thi, thi, they, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. their, their, their, th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the th. th. I th. the th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they. thi. I thi. thi. their, were going to be doing from now on. Yeah, I've been very cool. You're a paramedic and you're like, you know, my job is to get to people and
render them first aid. That's what I'm trained for. That's what I'm qualified for and I find that very fulfilling.
And then your boss is like, by the way, I'm going to need you on plane Instagram lately. Seeing a lot of guys in jet packs. I think we're really well on our way here.
Because the jetpack accident happens.
Technology has been pretty fucking shit up to this point.
Like the jetpack problem has not been solved well before, you know, you get the whole thing
about like where the points of propulsion are because we've got, you know, legs and
and it's hard to have like turbines pointing at your legs and stuff.
But it seems to be getting there.
The test flight was carried out by Richard Browning, founder of gravity industries. He said the suits had too many engines on each arm and one on the back,
allowing the paramedic to control their movement just by moving their hands. The biggest advantage is its speed, Mr. Morrison said. If If If If If if the, if the the the the idea, if the idea, if the idea, if the idea, if the the the the the the the takes takes takes takes takes takes takes the takes takes takes takes the takes takes tube tube, tha tha tha tha tha tha thae, the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tue, their tue tue tue, tue their tue, tue their tue tue tue tue tue tue tue. tue. te, te, te. te. te. teu. teu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. teu. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. to control their movement just by moving their hands. The biggest advantage is at speed, Mr. Morrison said.
If the idea takes off, the flying paramedic will be armed with a medical kit,
with strong pain relief for walkers who may have suffered fractures,
and a defibrillator for those who may have suffered a heart attack. In a jet pack, what the tak will tak the patient may only take. And the the the their their their their their their their take. And take. And take. And take. take. take. take. take. take. take. their their their their tak take. If their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. If their their tak. If take. take. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. tea tea ta ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta mean the difference during life of death. So this is very cool, right? It's very cool.
You've gone, oh, I've bloody knicked me, fucking,
oh, oh, bunged me leg, help.
Yeah, I think that's how English people talk.
I'm not having a laugh.
I'm not pulling your leg, Mr. Arnade help.
I said one, I'm not pulling your the o'erfn. I think you know, send one them jet pack folks. And then- How are you an orphan?
It's the only kind of English person I know.
And so this could go one of two ways to my mind.
The first way this could go is an extraordinarily handsome man or woman rocks up at a jet pack
tends your wounds, picks you up Superman style, flies you out of the fens or wherever the fuck you are
with their shirt unbuttoned a little bit at the chest and it's like the cover of a Mills and Boone,
or you've broken your leg, you're lying on the ground, you hear a roaring sound and all of a sudden
a guided jetback slams into the rock things to it dies. It just really fudges the landing and absolutely access themselves.
So this company has an Instagram, if anyone's interested.
It's take on gravity, gravity industries, where you can watch some footage of the jet pack if you're interested.
How's it looking to? Does it look reliable?
It looks pretty awesome. I don't know about reliable.
I'm not true. I wouldn't be going in it myself, but it looks pretty fucking cool.
Oh, it does look cool except
It does also cost $440,000. Jesus. Hmm. Oh wow. I'm looking at the Wikipedia article for Richard Browning,
who is the founder, as we mentioned of Gravity Industries, an English inventor,
entrepreneur and speaker.
He has a Guinness World Record for the faster speed
in a body-controlled jet engine powered suit.
He's been dubbed the, quote,
Real Life Iron Man by media outlets around the world.
Three citations on that one.
Three citations.
Don't have to make it uncool like that.
Yeah, come on, man. Just like be chill about it. Don't be like, oh, I guess, yeah, a couple
of people have kind of compared me to Iron Man. I don't know if that's something you want
to write that down if you want to write that down. I have some citations. Like, what you're doing is in... Oh, no. Oh, oh, oh, oh, what, what, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what you, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what that, what, what, what that, what that, what that, what that's th. that, that, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. th.'m going to put an image in the chat and that
I would want one of you to describe what I have just shown you because this is
taking the turn that is not good. Have a look at the chat there.
Real time. Oh my goodness. Oh no. Nope. Don't like that.
Lucy, would you like to describe?
I mean, is that like an AK-47?
I think it's an AR-15 by the look of it.
A-R-15 perhaps strapped to the guy's shoulder,
the guy in the jet pack shoulder? I'm not sure. It's got a lot of wires on it, so I assume he is remotely controlling this gun with his hands.
Oh, no. He is remotely controlling it with the helmet.
Yeah, it's nothing like having the barrel of a gun that you're going to be firing about three inches away from your ear.
Yeah, that doesn't look ideal. Also, why does... I don't know why he needs this gun but I'm not liking what I'm seeing. Alright so the good news is that it is it's a BB gun,
it is not a real AR-15, but it is certainly controlled by the helmet. It is, it
features a two-axis gimbal that rotates from side to side,
moves backwards and forwards, mirroring the movement of the pilot's helmet. So if this guy looks at you, he is th. th. th. th. th. th is thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I thi, thi, I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th is not th is not thi, thi, thi, thi, thin thin thin thin thin thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi. thin, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi of the pilot's helmet. So if this guy looks at you, he is pointing a gun at you.
Is this for like duck hunting?
I don't know.
So I'm just looking at a video here from CNBC where somebody got invited to come and test
drive the suit.
They're talking about how cool it was.
The suit costs $440,000. The suit and the fuel
together weighs about 100 pounds. Oh God. So you have to carry all of that on your person.
He was talking about how cool the, how cool, what's the guy's name, Richard Browning?
The CEO is because...
As we call it.
Old Brown Dickie.
He looks really cool flying around because he's had tons of practice because he invented
it.
And he said, so I got to try and test fly it, which meant being tethered to a thing on a crane,
while you try and fail over again to get like two centimeters off the ground because it's very, very difficult
to control.
It takes at least two full days of training in order to be allowed to take the tether off
and attempt to fly it.
One day of pilot training costs $40,000 US.
One day of pilot training. It's going to cost you around $100,000 Australian to be trained enough for them to unhook you from the big cable.
Please release me from the tether. Do you've given us another 50 grand?
I think the problem with all this kind of stuff with like, um, this kind of, you know,
flight with I guess as little a structure around you as possible,
is that it does involve the potential for just a human body
to be hurtling through open air at speed.
And generally speaking, if you hit something while that's happening,
that's kind of it.
Even if you don't, even if your fuel runs out, not going to be a glider because you're a man
You have to have a big heavy thing strapped to you
You're not gonna slide on down into the Hudson River pleasantly. I guess been I would
I think part of the reason that they were talking about all of the sarcastic
flying stuff is that I think
the propulsion seems to be like pushing you off the ground, but
not actually propelling you through the air.
So some of these, you know, he looks like he's kind of six or ten feet off the ground
while he's firing along, but you can't just say, right, off I go, Ironman style,
up into the air.
So you're saying without something that creates aerodynamic lift, you're more just sort of
playing keeps upsies with yourself than you are actually flying.
Yeah, which I think why we're getting the sarcastic air quotes around flight throughout
this article, which of course makes the whole thing sound a lot cooler when it's not, you don't like get a, get a call, an emergency call over the airwaves., and the air, and the air, the air, the air, the air the air the air the air the air the air the air the air lift, the air lift, the air lift, the air lift, the air lift, the air lift, the air lift, the air lift, the air lift, the air lift, the air lift, the lift, the air lift, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the lift, the the lift, the lift, the lift, the lift, the lift, the lift, the lift, the lift, the lift, the lift, the lift, the lift, the lift, the lift, the lift, the lift, the lift, the lift, the lift, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, of course makes the whole thing sound a lot cooler when it's not, you don't like get a call, an emergency call over the airwaves, and then one of you goes,
open the roof and it shoots up out of the roof of the paramedics hut, shoots up out of the
paramedics chalet that you're in in Europe, and then flies up to the peak and sets down next to someone who goes here's your little barrel of rum.
Here's 500 milligrams of codeine and I'm off. Good luck. So yeah when they're
talking about like hey it would take you only minutes to get up so somewhere that
might normally take you half an hour to walk. I think what they're really describing
is somebody being able to glide six to ten feet above a surface that would
normally be a bit more time-consuming to walk up if you were if you were
kind of doing mountaineering type stuff. So you can get to someone sooner
you can carry enough stuff to, I guess, give somebody
pain relief or whack a bandage on something.
You can't carry them back down, you can just hang out with them.
While the other people take half an hour to walk up there.
The nature of this suit, the fact that the thrusters are mounted on the arms means you
can't hold anything. So yeah, that would be out of the question. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I that the thrusters are mounted on the arms means you can't hold anything.
So yeah, that would be out of the question, unless you sort of dangle them from a rope below
you.
Yeah, you also cannot tenderly stroke the face of the victim.
I'm burning all their skin off.
Oh no, that'd be awful. You like, rock up. And you're like, great, I'm just going to put
a bandage on this person. I'm going to have to wait 15 minutes for these jets to cool
down there before I can come to you. Put your hand up to see if they're, to put your hand
up to take their pulse and accidentally blow all of their skin off like that's getting set on fire and that classic gift. Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna put down $440,000 on one of these suits.
This does-
What price point would you lay your cash down for this for?
At what point would I sell all of my family's belongings in order to become an iron man?
Like if this was, how much does jet ski cost? I feel like we've
actually looked this up on an episode before. I feel like we definitely have.
We definitely looked up how much both jet skis and golf carts cost. Oh no, sorry,
I'm thinking of golf cards. I mean if this was like, if it was 1500 bucks to
get a jet pack and speaking as a person who has no money ever, I would save up to to get a jet pack. That would would th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I th, I th, I th, I th money ever, I would save up to get a jet pack. That would be fucking amazing.
But it's very hard not to get the feeling that this article, the original one that we're
sort of talking about here, which is, hey, you could be a medic, a medic with this thing.
It's very hard not to get the feeling that this guy has invented his jetpack thing. He's taken on a lot of investor
money to do it. It's also extremely expensive. So basically at the moment the market for this
is like Saudi Arabian princes who want to do something cool. And then outside of that, it doesn't actually
have a purpose. So this seems suspiciously like this company has sent a bunch of things out to various
places to say, hey, imagine if your medics had jet packs and they could just fly to the
scene of the accident.
And they went, that would be cool.
And an article was born. So I'm quite curious, because so the Great North Air Ambulance Service, which is the one
that did this test, the normal way that they do these things is with a helicopter.
So having a helicopter means you've got to spend a lot of money maintaining the helicopter,
you've got to pay a lot of money to have qualified helicopter pilots on call.
You've got to pay a lot of money for helicopter fuel. So I assume it the one the one the one the one the one the one th is th is th is th is the one th is th is th is the one th is th is th is the one thi is thi is thi is the one thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, which is the one one the one the one the. This is thi. This is the one thi. This is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the one one one one one one one one one one one thi, thi, the, the, the one to pay a lot of money for helicopter fuel.
So I assume it's relatively expensive to have these, but I wonder at what point does it
become more cost-effective to buy a $500,000 jet pack and spend $100,000 training paramedics
to be able to use it.
Like when does this become more efficient than doing it with a helicopter,
I wonder. Good question. Seems silly, but it is awesome. I wonder if they're actually going
to start doing it or whether they just did this test and was like, yep, pretty cool. We can.
Pretty cool. This to me has all of the hallmarks of something that we'll get up to this point, and then they will finally get the actual costings of of...... th. pretty. pretty. pretty. pretty. pretty. to to to to to to to to to their, to to to to their, to be, to be, their, to be, their, their, to be, to be, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, their of the hallmarks of something that will get up to this point and then they
will finally get the actual costings of what it would take to procure let's say two of
these suits and training for all of the paramedics who should theoretically be able to operate
them going up to that because it looks like it would take you a significant amount of training to be able to confidently like traverse any sort of distance distance distance distance distance distance the distance the distance to the distance to the distance to the distance to the distance the distance to to the the the the of the of of the of of of the ofing the actual the actual the actual the actual the actual of the actual the actual of the actual ofing ofing the actual of the actual the actual the actual the actual the actual of the actual of ofing of cost cost cost cost cost of of cost of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their their their their their the actual the actual the actual cost cost cost of the the the the actual cost cost cost of the the the the actual cost cost cost cost cost cost. the the the actual the actual the actual the actual to the actual to to to to that because it looks like it would take you a significant amount of training to be able to confidently like traverse any sort of distance and the training also costs an
absolute shit load of money and then you also have the issue of like at least if you've got
a helicopter everybody involved like you said is a qualified helicopter pilot and the
only people who can fly the helicopter are people who are licensed to do so,
as opposed to, have you had your mandatory two days training to be the rocketeer?
And then eight months later, we're gonna be like, oh, everybody else is on call.
Here, put on the suit and fly out the side of this mountain.
Just skim this checklist of things not to do while in the jet suit.
Yeah, then immediately wily coyoteing yourself into the side of an alp, you know?
So like I said, I think if you lost control in this thing moving at any kind of speed and
hit something, you'd be having a really bad time and then they'd have to send out the next jet pack to come and get you.
Just a pile of people in jet packs slowly.
I'm going to get someone who can land here. Then you've got to pay for all your jetpack repairs.
It's going to be so expensive. The other thing I like in this article is that it was
Andy Mawson, the director of operations of the Great Northern Air Ambulance Service who th, th, th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th in this article is that it was Andy Morrison, the director of
Operations of the Great Northern Air Ambulance Service, who came up with the idea, described
seeing it as awesome.
So like he just saw this thing on Reddit.
It's like, oh, it's so cool.
How can I get work to pay for a jet pack?
And honestly, if you could pull that off, the dream. This has all been one guy's long, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the great work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the that off, the dream.
This has all been one guy's long, long effort to get work to pay for a jet pack.
And we support that.
Well done to him.
If you can get your work to pay for a jet pack, right into the show.
Mailbag at Buonto Vista.com.
Ask your boss.
Go on, you deserve it.
You do. You also deserve a nice shirt.
Go to shop. Buntavista.com and purchase one. You like that? That was very smooth.
Yeah, people have received them now so I think we can feel relatively comfortable sproking them.
Yes, I agree. Yeah, we got some really, really fucking nice shirts on there from a bunch
of different people. Andrew's done some, they look gorgeous. Check
them out, get that. Also you can sign up to Patreon for a year now. Oh, that's true.
We're going to remember that. Annual memberships are now available to the
Patreon if if you don't like the idea of having your card or whatever charged for five bucks once a month,
if that's a pain in the ass to you, then you could go to Patreon and sign up for an annual
membership.
Beautiful, and if you sign up for the annual membership, you get a discount, you get two months
free every year. Doesn't that sound sweet?
It does.
Well, that's it for us.
Thanks for joining us, and we'll see you later.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye. you to be