Boonta Vista - EPISODE 195: Google "Italian Parliament Fights"

Episode Date: April 18, 2021

Coming to you from the US of A, the whole team tackles: the ghosts of Flight 401, the secretive death boner, chimps with human dicks, and the much-vaunted return of the Bad Tweet Round-Up. *** Henno v...isits Annabelle: https://www.pedestrian.tv/film-tv/annabelle-doll/ *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at mailbag@boontavista.com! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to episode 195 of the American Comedy Current Events podcast, Bunter Vistor. My name is Ben and I am a 30 year old man who lives in Austin and drives a 1999 Ford Taurus. My two favorite things are going tubing on the San Marcos River and drinking between 30 and 40 Lone Stars while going tubing on the San Marcos River. With me as my co-host Andrew, a 30-something-year-old man who lives in San Jose California and catches the Cal Train to Palo Alto, where he does graphic design for Northrop Grumman. Hello. Hey Andrew. It's great. I get a lot of time to catch to to to to to to to to the to to to to the to to the to to the to the to to to the to drink the to drink to drink tube to drink the to drink to to to tube tube tube tube tube tube. the the tube tube tooing too. tho. their their their the the the the the the the the the the the theircocococococococococococococococococue. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. tubeau. tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. tube. I get a lot of time to catch up on my podcast on the train. You know you can, you're allowed to drink on the Caltrain.
Starting point is 00:01:08 Really? Yeah, so you can just buy like a six pack of beers on your way home and just get hammered on the Caltrain from Palo Alto to where you live in San Jose. That's just good time management. That's a cool thing to do th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho, tho, tho, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. thro, thro, thro, throo. throooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. You's. You's, thrue I do it, but if I'm just on the train hanging out and you come on and get drunk, not cool buddy. Come on, we're all just trying to get home. Yeah, stop being loud and rowdy. I'm quietly enjoying my 10% double IPAs that I am drinking six of in a 15 minute train ride. Also with me is my other co-host, Theo, a 30-something-year-old to to to-in, to-old, to-old, to-old, to-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-old-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo-lo, to-s, I, I, to-s, th. to-s, to-s. to-s. to-s. to-s. to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, so. to-s. to-s. to-s. to-s. And, so-s. And, so-s. And, so-s. And, so-s. And, so-s. And, so-s. And, so-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s. t-s. too-s. too-s. too-s. too-s engineering at MIT, and designed special types of civilian killing bombs for Northrop Grumman.
Starting point is 00:01:49 Hey, I'm just American man. Just a regular American guy designing special civilian killing bombs for Northrop Grumman. Yep. The only time I ever participate in introspection is the five minutes I sit on my couch and think about 9-11. Each day I do this. And you do otherwise you'd forget and you can never forget. You can never forget. The really hard days are like when on 9-11 where you go to your local supermarket and they've arranged the Bud Light cases in a moving tribute to the towers.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Yeah, it's a tough every time when you see that the beers. The beers the beers the beers the beers the beer the beer the beer the beer the beer the beer the beer the beer the beer the beer the beer the beer the beer the beer the beer the beer is. is the beer the beer the beer the beer the beer the beer their thi is thi is thi is. I thi-in to to to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they're they they they they they they they they they they they're they they they're they're they're their they're their the beer. the beer. the beer. the beer. the beers. the beers. I the beers. I their their their toe. I to-a. I to-a. I to-up. I to-I to-up. I to-upy. I to-upy. I they. I they arranged the Bud Light cases in a moving tribute to the towers. Yeah, it's tough every time when you see that the beers, in a loving tribute to our boys. In a loving tribute to 9-11. Good on them for doing it. I mean, good on them for, good on our boys for, and also not with us, is our co-host Lucy, who died in infancy due to the deficiencies in the American health care system. Wow. RIP. It's a shame about that infant mortality rate, hey. That's a real shame.
Starting point is 00:02:54 I guess I'm a ghost. I'm a train ghost. You're a train ghost. You're a train ghost. I just want, just haunt trains and I can I drink some beer? No, no ghosts, only people are allowed to drink beer on the train. Ghosts aren't actually allowed on there. You're on there illegally. Yeah. I don't think there's any law against it.
Starting point is 00:03:16 I think ghosts are allowed to drink from like a big, like apparition of a jug with XXX on it. Yeah, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Like, th. Like, tha, tha, tha, tha. Like, tha. G. G. Ghosts, tha, ghosts, tha, tha, tha, like, like, like, like, like, like, it. Yeah, like a moonshine jug. Like Moonshine jug. That's exactly right. It's kind of like trickling through your phantom bones, etc, etc. You didn't have to be a train ghost. You're untethered to the material realm. You can be literally anytethered to the material realm. You could be a plane ghost.
Starting point is 00:03:37 That's true I would love that. I'm immediately Googling Haunted Plain because it's got to be surely. I feel like I've just never really heard anybody talking about haunted planes. I've seen a lot of ghost movies and I've seen a lot of plane movies. The ghost of the guy that shat himself to death in the in the plane toilet. Yep. All those stories about like someone dying and them just getting covered in blankets. Okay well not covered in blankets, it's covered by a blanket I would say where they're like, hey he's sleeping. You're like yeah and they just draw a blanket over him. Yeah for eight hours. They stay as a ghost on the plane. All right ready everybody? Mmm. Eastern Airlines Flight 401 was a scheduled flight from New York JFK to Miami. Shortly before midnight on December 29, 1972, the Lockheed L-111 TriStar crashed into the Florida Everglades causing 101 fatalities.
Starting point is 00:04:35 The pilots, the flight engineer, two of the 10 flight descendants and 96 of 163 passengers died, 75 passengers and crew survived. The crash occurred while the entire cockpit crew was preoccupied with a burnt-out landing gear indicator light. They failed to notice that the autopilot had inadvertently been disconnected and as a result the aircraft gradually lost altitude and crashed. This is the first fatal crash of a lollas and first fatal crash of a Lockheed-Elead-L11 TriStar.
Starting point is 00:05:04 Then we got some stuff about, you know, the aircraft, the flight crew crew crew cc, the flight ccite ccite ccite ccite ccite clight clight clight clight cl. the flight clight clight clight clight clight clight clight clight cight cutu, the flight c' c' c' c' c' c' c' the flight c' the flight c' the flight c' thu, the flight cut, thu, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi-c, the the the the the thea ta' ta' ta' ta' ta'ea'eran tea'eran ta'eruu.ea'erannea' out out, theatea' out, thea' loss and first fatal crash over Lockheed L-111 TriStar. Then we got some stuff about, you know, the aircraft, the flight crew, the flight and crash, some of the stuff that was saying on the last recording. But then we get to the important part, reported ghost sightings. Over the following months and years, rumors began circulating that employees of Eastern airlines were reporting sightings of the dead crew members, Captain Robert Loft, and second officer Donald Repo, sitting on board other L1011s. In particular, N318EA. These rumors speculated the parts of the crashed aircraft were salvaged after the investigation and refitted into other L1011s.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Oh no! Inf infused with ghost energy. The reported hauntings were said to only be seen on the planes that use the spare parts. This is dope. They've made a haunted Frankenplane. That's awesome. That's the name of the movie that we're going to make, right? Yes, Frankenplane plane. Gossip regarding the siding of the spirits of Don Repo and Bob Loft spread throughout Eastern Airlines to the point where Easton's management warned employees that they could face
Starting point is 00:06:12 dismissal if caught spreading ghost stories. If you were on one of those planes and you saw a bunch of little turtle hatchlings you could say that it was haunted by the ghost of Mon th. th. th.... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's the. that's that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that's that's that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. that's that's the. that's that's that's that's thean. that's that's that's thean. that's that's that's that's thean. that's that's thean Mon Repo. Now that's a little joke just for Theo. And I can hear him laughing. You know the place Mon Repo where you can you can go see the turtle hatchlings in Queensland? I do, yeah. Yeah, it's just you didn't make, maybe you were doing a ghost laugh that their planes were haunted, heard that a million times. Interesting. Well they have to say that for a true and reasons. Imagine having to put out that PR statement like, no ghosts. They were going to get dismissed if they kept spreading ghost stories. Hmm, that's someone who doesn't want the truth out there. I'm hearing a lot of stories these days about ghosts on our airplanes, and I've got
Starting point is 00:07:09 to tell you, people couldn't be more wrong. Advertising like new, uh, phantasmus-free flights. Unlike our competitors, we guarantee a hundred percent ghostless experience. Oh, while Eastern Airlines publicly denied that their planes were haunted, they reportedly removed all the salvaged parts from their L-1011 fleet. Oh, just quietly taken them out anyway. Interesting. And then the ghosts just went away, did they? No, we always had like an exorcist as part of the ground crew? You guys are just only noticing because we're talking about ghosts.
Starting point is 00:07:47 There is one Catholic priest on every flight everywhere. Don't look into it. Yeah. It's just like the air marshal? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. They're playing close. You don't know who it is. In an emergency he stands up and like rips off the fake collar over the top of his other collar, pulls out his Bible.
Starting point is 00:08:07 Look to your left, look to your right. Either of these people could be a Catholic priest in disguise. And then over time the reporting of ghost sighting stopped. That sounds like confirmed ghosts to me. Yeah, it also sounds like they're possibly a bunch of people with trauma, just slowly, kind of coming to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to you right right right right right right right right right. Look at to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to look look look look look look look look to to to to to to to to to to to you look look look look look look look. Look to you to you to to to to to to to to to to the the the their right right right right right right... Look the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their right right right. Look, look. Look, look. Look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look to to to ghosts to me. Yeah, it also sounds like they're possibly a bunch of people with trauma, just slowly kind of coming to terms with the trauma of... Could be. Could be ghosts, you never know. I think they took all the parts out and then put them all into one plane. One play. Sort of super ghost plane and to concentrate the ghost sightings. It's easier to manage a ghost PR crisis if it's just one aircraft aircraft. And the plane. And the plane. And the plane. And the plane. And the plane. It's the plane. It's just like like the plane. It's just like th. It's just like th. It's just like their th. It's just like th. It's just th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's like th. It's like tho tho tho their tho their their their their their their their their their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, their. It's, their. It's, their. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like th. It's like, like, thi. It's like, thi. It's like, thooooooooooooooom. It's like, th. It's like, their th. It's like, the ghost sightings. It's easier to manage a ghost PR crisis if it's just one aircraft. And they just let that plane just fly around by itself. Yeah. From port to port. Never really picking up any passengers. Sometimes in the witching hour you'll see
Starting point is 00:08:55 running lights but no plane on the radar. Hmm. Ghost plan. The original floorboard from Flight 401 remains in the archives at history Miami in South Florida, and pieces of Flight 401's wreckage can also be found in Ed and Lorraine Warren's a cult museum in Monroe, Connecticut. Oh hell yeah. That sounds so good. Oh, I swear to God, I feel like I've probably spoken about this on the podcast before, but friend of the show, James Hennessey going to that place that the Warren whatever
Starting point is 00:09:25 the fuck those people are called where was it them it'll very confusing they're the ones that are from the conjuring right oh yes yeah yeah yeah yeah so I got offered to go on that trip because this is a like a promotional thing while one of the fucking Annabelle movies was coming out or whatever while I was still working a pedestrian and it was like you were in Connecticut for 24 hours but you had to fly for like 18 hours either way to get there so it's just like uh that actually sounds like ass so I'm gonna say no but Hano ended up going
Starting point is 00:10:03 I'll put the episode to, the link to his story in the show notes, but like he was saying at one point while they're in the room full of terrifying powerful evil artifacts, someone accidentally knocked one off the shelf and then the guy was just like, oh don't worry about it, just picked it up and put it back up. It's not really how they play it in the movie, I've got to say. No, no it is not. So here's something for everyone to keep an eye out for in secondhand booksts, bookfares, the kind of thing that Ben loves to attend. God, I miss the Lifeline Bookfest so much.
Starting point is 00:10:35 There you go. Well, keep an eye out in the future four. which was documented in John G. Fuller's 1976 book, The Ghost of Flight 401. Fuller recounts stories of paranormal events support other Eastern aircraft and the belief that these were caused by equipment salvaged from the wreckage of Flight 401. A TV movie, the Ghost of Flight 401 was aired in February 1978. Yes. Yes. Based on Fuller's book, it focused on the ghost siding surrounding the aftermath. Eastern Airline CEO and former Apollo astronaut Frank Borman called the Gorman, the the the the the the the the ghost sighting surrounding the aftermath. Eastern airline CEO and former Apollo astronaut, Frank Borman, called the ghost story surrounding the crash, garbage.
Starting point is 00:11:12 Well, you fucking would, wouldn't he? He would say that. Eastern considered suing for libel based on assertions of a cover-up by Eastern executives, but Borman opted not to, feeling a lawsuit would merely provide more publicity for the book. Pretty, pretty astute, I think, based. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, to, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank, Frank. the, Frank. the, Frank. the, Frank. to, to, to, to, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their. their. their. their. their, their, toe. toe. toe. toeastern, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toa, toe. their, their, their, their, theorman opted not to, feeling a lawsuit would merely provide more publicity for the book. Pretty, pretty astute, I think. Yeah, maybe. All right, fair enough. My, there are no ghosts on any of my planes t-shirt. It's raising more questions than it's answering. Well, uh, I think we should try to find this book in this movie, personally. I am currently browsing eBay for original printings to the book,, I, I, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, the new, try to find this book in this movie personally. I am currently browsing eBay for original printings of the copy of the book because the new ones look absolutely dog shit.
Starting point is 00:11:51 I am currently thinking about a script for a Frankenplane. Here we go. $64 postage from the US, fuck me. Jesus Christ, these people. Oh, there are two books, sorry. So there is John G. Fullers, The Search for the Ghost of Flight 401. But then there is also Elizabeth Fullers, my search for the ghost of Flight 401. So I don't know if they had competing searches for the ghost within their marriage, maybe.
Starting point is 00:12:21 I think she, I think they got divorced and she did not get any of the residuals from the book book.. book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book book. the book. the book. the book. the book. the book. the book. the ghost. the ghost. the ghost. the ghost. the ghost the ghost the ghost the ghost the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the ghost, the the the the their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their f. their f. their f. their f. their f. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. think she I think they got divorced and she did not get any of the residuals from the book in the settlement. Or they split the search down the middle. Here's my search. Let me tell you something guys. In the 1730s there was a high woman by the name of Dick Turpin. He would steal, torture and kill, taking anything and everything that he could. The scoundre was finally caught and sent to death the death the the their their their their their their their their their their the name of Dick Turpin. He would steal, torture, and kill, taking anything and everything that he could. The scoundrels finally caught and sensed to death in 1739, but Turpin took matters into his own hands and jumped from the gallows with a noose around his neck, effectively killing himself. And for some reason, his ghost is reportedly taking a liking to the grounds of Heathrow Airport. Reports of sightings can be traced back to a the to a to a the airport, to, to, the, the, to, to, the, their, their, their, to, their, to, the, the, the, the, the, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, too, the.. too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, and, too, too, too, too, to, and, to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, their. And, t, t, t, t... And, t. And, t.a, t.a, the.a, the.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. And, thea.to a time before the airport was even constructed. Descriptions of alleged sightings often include a black stallion while many reports seeing Turban standing in the main terminal wearing period clothing, including a tricorned hat. I hope this is just a guy that dresses up and goes to Heathrow airport.
Starting point is 00:13:19 Absolutely. I think I'm starting to think that maybe maybe we're wrong. Maybe there's more haunted airports than we thought, you know? Like one? Over the years, Theo, the Denver International Airport is a status-based reputation for being one of the most evil places in the world. They've got all their fucking like-weighed shit there. All they're like under construction signs make jokes about it as well, like when there's a new shop going in, they'll have a thing up there being like, this is a secret tunnel into the fucking hollow earth. They are, they're really leading into it.
Starting point is 00:13:55 You've got to read about Denver Airport. I love this so much. All right. Alright, so it's established a reputation for being one of the most evil places in the world owing mostly to conspiracy theories rather than ghosts. Nevertheless, the story goes that you'll hear unnerving Native American chanting between Concourse A and Jefferson Terminal Building. Employees assert that music being played on a loop as part of an arts program. The others agree that it is music being played on a loop, but that its purpose is to drive out any angry spirits.
Starting point is 00:14:29 Meanwhile, a third opinion maintains that it's actually ghosts chanting. But who really knows where the truth begins and ends? I feel like it would be relatively easy to establish if it was audio being played out of speakers deliberately. I found the computer that VLC is looping this stuff on. It's right there. My goodness. I just purchased a 1978 copy of my search.
Starting point is 00:14:59 So I've chosen to back women on this one. Okay. I've chosen to support a woman in this venture. I'm just gonna like that. I'm an ally. Hmm. So there you go. If you know about any haunted airports or planes, please send it into us a mailbag at Wunta Vista.
Starting point is 00:15:21 Scare. Sca stuff, you know, scary vibes. Sometimes you get scary vibes in the form of omens and portents. You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn his fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness, cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon. And you shall know that God is God. Bow down to his will. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ah. That's right. Perfect. It's...
Starting point is 00:15:58 Uh-huh. I didn't know we had an ape version of that theme, that's incredible. Oh dear, you know how scientists are always, hey they're doing stuff to make our lives better, you know, they're putting, they're putting pizzas in a robot's and making you get off your couch to go and get it. And that's just making life better for everyone. And I can't think of any argument to the counter of that. Every now and then though, the scientists at the Fucked Up Science Academy, they do it again. And they have done it again. This is a press release from Cell Press. Scientists generate human monkey chimeric embryos. Please stop doing this. I think there's going to be a twist in this story not given away by the headline that makes it sound bad.
Starting point is 00:16:49 Uh-huh. The word chimera is never bad. What could go wrong? Stop stop trying to planet of the apes, you know. Hey, this is our planet of the apes, this planet of the apes, you know? Hey, this is our planet of the apes, so we like it the way that it is, with us being the main kind of dominant ape. Yeah, keeping apes in their place, you know? Yeah, Parliament House.
Starting point is 00:17:19 I would like Parliament House. I thought this show wasn't political anymore. Can we get a version of question time with just chimps? Please. It'd be very funny. Put a little suits on them. That would be pretty good. I'd like that. I imagine, and I'm not saying that I believe that Italian people are chimps. But I imagine it would look like what the Italian Parliament does when they all start fighting each other. You see that? Those videos are just like punching each other at the face. Yeah, they're throwing bananas. They're throwing bananas and beating on their chest with two fists. This is not a racist podcast. I just want to, I'm not a racist. I can't speak for any
Starting point is 00:17:57 of the other three, but I'm not racist. This is not a racist podcast. Is Italian a race? Google Italian Parliament fights. Investigators in China in the United States have injected human stem cells into primate embryos and were able to grow chimeric embryos for a significant period of time up to 20 days and then they were forced to flush them down the toilet. Because they'd learned how to open doors. Yeah. The research, despite its ethical concerns, just leaving that, just hanging in the middle of this paragraph.
Starting point is 00:18:34 And we don't have to name those. It's just kind of obvious. Yeah, just sits in that area, the general kind of vibe. Despite its ethical concerns, it has the potential to provide new its its its its its its the the the the the the the the the their their their their to provide their to provide to provide their to provide their to provide to provide to provide to provide to provide to findeits, toeits, toeits, toe area, the general kind of vibe. Despite its ethical concerns, it has the potential to provide new insights into developmental biology and evolution. It also has implications for developing new biology and disease. I agree it does have implications for developing new disease. Sure does. The crazy monkey plague. The work appears April 15th in the journal, Cell. Quote, as we are unable to conduct certain types of experiments in humans,
Starting point is 00:19:10 it is essential that we have better models to more accurately study and understand human biology and disease. So senior author, Juan Carlos, Pizzue Belamonte. He sounds hot. He does. He does. He desired Professor Juan Carlos. Not a racist podcast. I said he sounds hot. Oh, it's positive racism. Yeah. It's the best kind that's right there in the name. He's a professor at the Gene Expression Laboratory at the Salk Institute for Biological Sciences.
Starting point is 00:19:43 So what's the, what's the ethical atom they're trying to split here? It's not they're not able to conduct certain types of experiments in humans so the simply the only ethical thing we can think of is to develop human monkey chimeras. Yeah. Inject them with technically illegal. Yeah with hot source and see what happens. Like I think the idea is that you make a being that has like pretty much all the same DNA and internal organs and everything is a human. Yeah, but it's also such a disgusting affront to God that at the end of the experiment everybody's happy to see you blow it away with a magnum. They want they want it to be close to human but not so close that they can that they can they can they can they can they can they can they can they can't they can they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't they can't the the the th. th. thi thi thi the the the thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they can't they can't they can't they can't thi thi thi thi thi to thi te te. te. te. the. the. the. the. thi to be close to human, but not so close that they can't like sign the sign language symbol for pain.
Starting point is 00:20:34 Sorry, guys, I've just dropped an image in the chat there. That is Juan Carlos Ibizzoi Belmonte. Wow, what a stone-cold fox that man is. He looks like a exact 50-50 cross between Peter Garrett and the character Jeff from Superstore. He looks like the yellow goblin guy from Sin City was able to grow to full hitch. Wow. Wow, so you're like Theo's comparison but not mine. Yours was very accurate, Ben. Very accurate.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Let's keep imagining that he's sexy, though, in the following quote. An important goal of experimental biology is the development of moral systems that allow for the study of human diseases under in vivo conditions. I'm always saying this. So, like, my understanding of that sentence sentence is you can't test on humans but you can test on chips but chimps don't exactly model humans so we have to make a chimp body model a human body. Do you do that by simply turning a chip into a man? It's just getting around a little loophole I think it's clever. Like we're testing certain kinds of liver disease? this, this this this this this this? this? this, this, this, this, this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th this this thi this thi this is this is this is tip tip this is this is this this tip this this this this this this tip te thi this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th th th, but th, but th, but th, but th th th th th tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip te te te te te te te te te te, te, te, te, te, te, turning a chip into a man. It's just getting around a little loophole. I think it's clever.
Starting point is 00:21:46 Like, we're testing certain kinds of liver disease on people, but we can't just vivisect a human liver. So we have given this chimpanzee the liver of a human man. Yep. What's next? The penis of human man? Where does it end? Hmm. It's just a monkey but it's got a white man's penis. I'm sure there are hundreds drawn images on the internet on deviant art of that exact concept. And because they've been able to, you know, sort of give it the penis of their choosing, they've given it a perfect, it's nine and a half inches, it is. Is that the perfect, sorry, nine and a half inches?
Starting point is 00:22:29 It's a perfect length of a human penis, that's right, yeah. Not, you know, not joke big. It's still huge though. That's joke big to me. Not one of those ones where you're like, oh, this is actually affecting, the the the thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thin, the, the, th. thi, the, the, the, th, the, the, is, is, the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, the, the, the, is, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. is, th. is, th. is, thin, thin, the, thin, thin, the the thin, thin, thin, their, thin, their, thin, thin, the th. thin, th. It's thin, th. It's thin, th. It's thin, th. It oh, this is actually affecting your health. Like you get an erection and then you fall over on the bus. You can't travel my bus for fear they will pass out. Can't legally drive just because you think of some sexual imagery. Oh man. I saw it particularly hot billboard and then crashed my car.
Starting point is 00:23:06 It's basically just like a... Yeah. It's just like libido-based an arcolepsy, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, here I go. You picture like an inspiring sort of like... What are those overcoming problems? I've learned to become never horny while I'm outside.
Starting point is 00:23:26 Just a montage of them looking at women in bikinis and being like, oh I can't. Made some beautiful lovely woman and she's like, but I want you to be horny's. But I can't. Damn it, Deborah. I left that life behind. I give up horniness. Every time I get horny, I lose you again. I'm imagining like a like a Farrelly Brothers type of movie where there's a lot of like, there's a lot of shots in a comedic montage of them like doing stuff together and falling in love where like the end of every scene is like the guy unconscious on the ground but he has a big boner. You know, they're down to the beach together and she takes off her caftan to reveal
Starting point is 00:24:16 the bikini that she's in and then the shot is just him unconscious big boner. Silouetted against the sunset. You see a man lying down. And every time, and every time she looks back and does that, oh you face, you know? Looking at his erect penis and just smiling and shaking her head. There's something to me that is very inherently funny about the idea of somebody like going unconscious and collapsing rag doll style but also having a raging boner poking out of their clothes.
Starting point is 00:24:50 That's very funny. Oh boy. So that's what they're doing with these days. So that's what they're doing with these things. And it's sort of like just a Santa Claus thing that's a myth. It's the strangulation. If you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It is th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's a the. It's a the. It's something. It's something. It's something. It's a the. It's a the. It's a the. It's th. It's just kept secret from us. Don't people get erections when they die? Is that a myth? It's the strangulation. If you die of asphyxiation, you get a big old boner.
Starting point is 00:25:11 I think that's sexy, right? I think that boner was already there. There's that bit in, it's one of the like Pierce Brosnan Bond movies, where he's he's like getting choked to the the thionionionionion th. th. th. thuze thuze thuoson, thuoson, thuoson, thuoson, thuoson, thuoson, thuos, thuas, thuas, thuas, thuos, thia, thus, thuas, thus, thus, thus, tho's tho's tho's tho's thia, you thia, you thia, you thu, you thuase, you thuase, you thuant, you thu, you th th th th th th th th th th thu, you thuant, you thuant, you thuant, you thuant, you thuant, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, thi, thi, the throngi the the thin, the the the the thin, the the thi thi thi thi, thioked to death and the villain ladies like you know what happens to a man when he dies strangulation as that's got to be got to be golden eye surely that had funky yonks and strangling everyone with a sexy thighs yes that is the one whereas the the later fucking what's his name Daniel Craig who's the guy Daniel wallop in the guy?
Starting point is 00:25:45 Daniel Greg Bond. Doesn't have that problem. Canonically. I don't know if we've spoken about this before, but how like, during that scene where it's just mad smirkelson whaling on his dun sack with a length of rope is like at this point it's permanent damage and then keeps going. So for the next couple of movies you just like... So his dick don't work though more.
Starting point is 00:26:10 I think it's a brave choice. To have the first... It really was. The first bond to consta state in a reaction. First bond with the dick and balls that looks like a butterfled quail. Oh, oh. Oh, God. Hey Theo, I just want just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just I I just just I just just I just just I just just I just I just I just just just I just just just I just just just Hey Theo, I just want to circle back for a second.
Starting point is 00:26:28 So if I'm getting this right, what I'm picturing, this is, if I'm picking up what you're putting down, Theo, is that the thing that people say where like the last thing somebody does when they die often is like void their bowels? Yeah. I'm wondering if basically you're suggesting that that is an urban legend. That's a cover story. That's an urban legend that has been circulated to keep people away from the pants region of someone else. That is exactly what I'm saying. Do not look at this man's pelvis for he has shit himself and that's the only reason you can't look at it. Wouldn't it be gross if you went over there and it smelled like doo-doo?
Starting point is 00:27:08 You can't flip him over right now because of all the shit that's in his pants. And this is basically the most important matter that the New World Order attends to. Just like arch-catholics. They're trying to keep decency alive. The two things at Illumidatiity are are are are are are are are thity are thityityityityityityityityity are thiat of decency alive. The two things that Illuminati are covering up are Area 51 and the death boner. Yeah, part of like, you know, all the special makeup and reconstructions and stuff
Starting point is 00:27:35 they do for funerals, open casket funerals. Soaring the boner off. Yeah, but. Taping it under the pitch line. Part of it is just like... Another closed clasped casket funeral. He got here too soon. Well you know how they can open the top half of the casket? Oh, that's why the top half's the only one that's open. It's like those doors for horses, yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Yeah. When you see a funeral where the top half of the casket, when's the the the be a series of large nails driven through the bottom half of the casket. That's what's going on. It's the death bone-up. It's so interesting. I was at my uncle's funeral. Bottom half is close. There was a side that said, do not open, it's full of wasps. There's a bunch of human shit in there. the thinn' the bone-o, their-up, tho, thi. It, th. It, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, their-up, their-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-up-upon, it's, it's, it's, it's the-upon, it's their-up-on, it's the-upon. the-uphough, it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the like hitting the boner with a large hammer until it cracks and then like taping it to a leg. Why do you have to hit it with a large hammer? Well they do it straight down so it kind of makes a comic call like noise and it just pops into their octave. So we're saying that this is a permanent boner.
Starting point is 00:28:39 Yeah, absolutely. Oh, that's upsetting. I'm thinking he just take that bad boy off with a Haxor. That's pretty... It's true. He just toss it into the casket loose with him. Well, seeing as this is an arch-catholic new world order thing, it's why you can't he's being buried with his favorite possessions. Sorry, Edgard, go on. Maybe they just take it off and give it to his wife
Starting point is 00:29:09 as a souvenir. Just a, oh no, it's just a perfect 10-inch long coffin. They're lying with velvet. Just a little erect penis in there. Oh, no. Oh no. Oh no. Amazing. Amazing. Hole. Hole. Oh, she just throws a pinch of dirt into that hole. She just throws a pinch of dirt into that hole that's next to the main hole.
Starting point is 00:29:43 I just picture a funeral. They do two graves side by side. They've got the cask up on the things, they's next to the main hole. I just picture your funeral. They do two graves side by side. They've got the cask up on the thing surrounded by flowers, there's the portrait of the man, and then they've got the miniature cask next to it with miniature flowers, the portrait of the perfect length of a penis. Whoa, that's what they're giving these chimps. Hmm. Yes, perfectly smooth chimp penises.
Starting point is 00:30:14 I wouldn't trust a chip to clean a penis. I wouldn't think it's looking after it properly. I don't know. I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, I would, however. I don't think it's looking after it properly. I don't know. I would, I would however, I would absolutely trust a chimp with a human penis to squat on a log, scratch at the human penis, sniff his finger and then throw his arms up and fall backwards on the log in a very funny way. He's got that down. He's going to get that right nine times out of ten. It's a little known fact that approximately 40% of Jane Goodall's work is just circumcising apes. You know what chips just love jacking off? Imagine they they do with a human penis. That'd be the single most disturbing thing I think
Starting point is 00:31:01 you could possibly see. I don't like thinking about it. This is burging on furry territory we're getting into right here. I don't like it. If anyone listening to this is getting off on this filthy talk? Yeah, stop it. Stop it. Don't say filthy like that. They'll enjoy it. Another 190 episodes or so available on our Patreon feed. The, the way you sought out the problem of that being an unsettling thing to see Lucy is that you also change the DNA so that they also have human hands. Human hands. That's right. Oh, that's okay.
Starting point is 00:31:32 Just these giant man hands on a chimp. He's nine and a half inch human feet. I'll lose the ability to do a lot of stuff. They'll be trying to do a lot of stuff. They'll be trying to grab onto branches and falling down. All they'll have the ability to do is be on the ground and jack off with their feet. Yep. Imagine that he's hanging from a branch using his hands.
Starting point is 00:32:03 He is masturbating his perfect human penis with his feet looking directly at you. That's hell. So I guess what we're saying is, you know, science. What an amazing thing. What amazing time to be alive and we're all looking forward to, I guess seeing this in zoos. Yep. The chimera with the human dick? Yeah, okay. That's what you want to take your kids to see. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to The chimera with the human dick?
Starting point is 00:32:25 Yeah, okay. That's what, yep. That's what you want to take your kids to see? That's right. Uh, the rest of this article is about science. Yeah, honestly, I don't think we need to actually get into the details of this or anything that could have lay a huge man's dick. Hey, please. We've already... We have written to tremendous movies at this point. I think we're doing amazingly.
Starting point is 00:32:51 Yeah. We've been brainstorming over here. Podcasts. Their nature's greatest natural resource and it's important that they're harvested sustainably. Editing, production, fart sound effects. These are all important resources from our local ecosystems. That's why we're asking you to go to Patreon. to their to'n'eviso and pledge five US dollars a month to help support the healthy growth of a homegrown podcast like Wntavista. In exchange you'll get an extra sustainably farmed episode every week, access to our discord and a naturally pristine promo-free podcast feed. Thank you for helping look after one of nature's
Starting point is 00:33:33 most precious resources. If you would like to option these story ideas please contact mailbag at Buntavista.com but now, we have to keep rolling along. We have to revisit a segment that we haven't done for quite a while. It's the bad tweet roundup. Yeh! It's the bad tweed roundup. Nay. Lucy, what do you got for us? I don't know if we've spoken about this before but I think it's time to talk about Chrissy Tagan. God damn it. You know, um. I've been saying Chrissy Tegan this whole time. Me too. I don't know if I've ever heard it out loud. I don't know if I've ever heard it out loud. But don't write in. I don't want to know that any of us is wrong, particularly not me. I'm going to, just this is a blanket sort of piece of advice.
Starting point is 00:34:29 And this is certainly not a criticism to anyone that's contacted the podcast before, but don't send us a correction unless the corrected version of the thing is funnier than the corrected version of the thing is funn't. good advice. Yeah, or if it makes somehow makes us look smarter. Yes. Then just whatever we were currently wrong about, but I don't really see that that happen. If I say like a really big word correctly, I would appreciate messages of praise. Yeah, more writing in to validate when we do get it correct. More positivity, less negativity. More good vibes. It's also what Chrissy is looking for. So so Chrissy quit Twitter three weeks ago and is back on Twitter. So she's finally done something that is relatable, you know?
Starting point is 00:35:12 Hmm. When she did the, when she did the quitting, also she didn't just do what some people will do when they get caught, like being a big creep or whatever on Twitter. A lot of the people who are the very kind of, it's my whole life to go viral with like epic dunks on conservatives kind of people, you know. I feel like a lot of them just eventually come out as people who were using Twitter the whole time to see photos of other people's genitals. And what a lot of those people will do is as this stuff comes out, they just never tweet again. The account might stay there. It might get deleted, but that's just it. That's the smart way. If you stop tweeting and a week later,
Starting point is 00:36:00 just silently delete your account. Yeah, you just vanish. You never acknowledge it. You never directly attribute stopping to your many crimes or anything. What Chrissy chose to do was to tweet a very long thread about about how unfair it is that she is just a just a simple multi-millionaire supermodel with a very famous also rich husband just tweeting about a relatable doing extremely rich people stuff during a pandemic and then sometimes my husband's John Legend by the way yes and then when people say come on man give me a break right like hey you're attacking me with an emotional gun yeah she tweeted this whole emotional thing about how it's affecting her and how she cares about what people think of her.
Starting point is 00:36:49 She just wants to be able to swan around the village and interact with her little serfs. I have them fan her. But this is just like an ideal thing of like, you don't need to be on Twitter. Imagine having all the money more money than you'd ever need to work again and then you choose to go on Twitter. Twitter is is the sewer where we all live. This is what we do because we are unhealthy. We don't have any other option. Yeah, that's right. I understand that she is a human being and she feels all of the same emotions that we all do. She can experience pain and sorrow and all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all all th all th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. feels all of the same emotions that we all do, she can experience pain and sorrow and all this stuff and that's all valid and it's fine. But also, you're so rich that like if the trade-off between having a million, fucking billion dollars is that suddenly you can't use the worst website in the world because people are rude to you all the
Starting point is 00:37:41 fucking time, it's probablytime. It's probably fine. Like... It's probably fine. Also, just do something else. You know, she got a horse on a whim. She did get a horse on a whim. Just invite David Lynch to dinner or something, you know? You don't have to log on. You don't have to do that.
Starting point is 00:37:57 Anyway, so she did quit, and now she's back. This is from this is from this is from from from from from from from from from from from from th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to th th th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the tho too the the thi th th the the th th th th iety. This is what Chrissy tweeted on Friday. Turns out it feels terrible to silence yourself and also no longer enjoy belly chuckles randomly throughout the day and also lose like 2,000 friends at once, lull. Lull. We can all relate to that. Very upsetting to talk about 2,000 Twitter followers as friends. But anyways, moving on.
Starting point is 00:38:23 She added, I chose to take the bad the bad to to the bad to the bad to to the bad to the bad to to the bad the bad to to the bad to the added, I chose to take the bad with the good. In response to someone Friday who asked her what she's been up to, Tagan drolley replied, I've spent weeks just saying tweets to shampoo bottles. Yeah, no, okay, that's pretty relatable. Whenever I can't try and go off Twitter a little bit. I just find myself like thinking like just ridiculous things and turning them over in my mind until they make sense and they never do, but that's just what my brain does for like six hours a day now. So I kind of feel for her there. You're feeling for Chrissy? I mean, what if you just like come back with an account that's not got your name attached to it? That's true. She could just just just just just just th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi. ti. try to try to try. try. try try to try. try try try try try try thi. try try and just just just just like come back with an account that's not got your name attached to it? That's true.
Starting point is 00:39:08 She could just make a different account. Well, then she wouldn't be able to, she's like, oh, a guy named Bonn legend has seen my husband's Bonn legend. My husband. Are you saying, Ben, that she should try to do the Stephen King Richard Bachman experiment? Yes, essentially. Except don't do it for fame. Just excise the thoughts from your brain. Just be like, just put your dumb jokes out there and then don't look to see if people have responded to them at all. Just get the sentences out and then play with your kids.
Starting point is 00:39:44 Yeah. Squeeze those blackheads out of your brain surface and just go about your business, you know. Yeah, so I did just want to revisit some of some classic classy tweets. Sorry for not supporting women here. Please don't cancel me. But I just can't with these. You know, you might remember when she tweeted, my mom treats her airpods like they're disposable Bies a few a month. She says they would be easier to not lose if they had a cord
Starting point is 00:40:12 Ha ha ha hapods cost. That's so relatable. How much do airports cost? Airport pros cost like four or five hundred bucks? Pardon? Yeah, I was I was buying some new headphones recently. And I was like, what are good wireless headphones on Twitter. And I said, you know, ones that like sound okay but aren't wildly expensive because I don't have an insane amount of money to burn on this sort of stuff. And so I was like, oh, AirPodods, they're really good. And when looked at, maybe three or four hundred dollars? Even regular Airpods cost $160. Yeah. In Australia,
Starting point is 00:40:54 the like default ones with the charging case at $250. Oh, my goodness. If you buy Airpods Pro from Apple.com, you with a charging case as standard with free engraving, they are Australian $399. Free engraving? Yeah, on the little charging case. Awesome. That's very relatable, you know. I love the idea of trying to do a tweet like, isn't it annoyingthat airpods don't have a cord by just saying that your mom buys a few a month? We drop a few grand on airpods every month. Loll So silly why is everyone mad at me? Just get us on with a cord for fuck so. I know right. I buy the same ear candy headphones? they cost 30 bucks? They're all right. They're? th. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just just. Just just just just just. Just just just just just just. Just? Just? Just? Just. Just? Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just? Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. their. their. their. their some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the the the the the the the the the the the their. the their. So.. I buy the same ear candy headphones about once a year they cost 30 bucks. They're all right but they're on a cord so you never have to charge him
Starting point is 00:41:51 and they're kind of hard to lose. I had to replace them last time because they got ran over by a car. And if that doesn't happen, no it was by my neighbor's car. They fell out of my pocket into the gutter because my pockets are really small because my shorts are quite small. So things just sort of fall out my pockets all the time. That is a known fact about you. Hmm. You should get some different shorts. That sounds annoying.
Starting point is 00:42:12 But you don't just get your man servant to pick them up when you drop them. No, I should look into that though. What if I drop a grand on a man servant to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their s s sa. tho. to to to to to thoom. I to their their their their their their their their their their. I their their. I their. I their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I's. I'm the. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm to. I'm toooooooooooome. I'm toooooomorrow. I'm toomorrow. I'm to. I'm th What you can do, Ben, is you can get these shorts that they have like bigger pockets on the sort of left and left and right. Are you thinking like, how dais did you say, maybe if you want to? No, no, no, so hear me out here, right? What you do is you get these shorts and they have, like larger pockets and those kind of pockets. They also have pockets on the back. And the fabric goes down further to accommodate even more pockets. And they're right on the sides of your legs. You can carry all kinds of cargo in them. Yep. You have a little Velcro kind of pulse.
Starting point is 00:42:56 All you need to do is... They're going to keep your headphones right in there. Yeah, just just all you need is to have the bottom of your shorts come down to just below your knees and I believe that's the look you're you're hungering for. Kids are got to be wearing cargo pants again soon. Oh they're going to. I feel like early 2000s fashion is starting to come back. It's got to be almost cargo pants time. I was saying to um I was saying to Elna the other night, we were talking about like, you know, just buying clothes and how I'm old now. And I was like, yeah, I still just wear like very fitted jeans because I have for decades now. And I was like, I know that, I know that like zoomers are all like, skinny jeans are out,
Starting point is 00:43:42 you old fucks. And I'm like, maybe that's the case what the fuck am I supposed to do I'm meant to go out and get myself like some acid washed wide leg 1990s jeans sing them up with a big belt you have like two choices right where like you either keep dressing in the way that you've always dressed that is appropriate your age and you know or at least feel looks good on you, or you look like a grown man trying to dress like a 19 year old, which is fucking stupid. It is.
Starting point is 00:44:12 I tell you what, more than ever before at this point of my life, I really understand people that I used to look at, not mockinglyly, but like, uh, with sort of bemusement or kind of fascination, was when I would see like an old guy just like walking around Melbourne and he'd have like, you know, a pastel suit with like big wide lapels. And it was just obvious that they had gone like, you know, at some point in like sort of 1976, they'd been like, this is my look. This is where I stop. This is where I get off the fashion train.
Starting point is 00:44:50 Yeah, and you can very clearly see if you look at different, different old guys walking around exactly where they were when they just kind of went, no, this is it. You can date when they turned 37. Yeah, when they just they just they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. And I I I I I I I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. And I th Yeah, when they just said I'm done. I am done. And I absolutely think that it's... So you're done? I'm probably done. But also, like it is more dignified than being like, I'm not an old guy, I'm hip. That's just... Start doing those Tick Talks about how millennials are trying to cancel Eminem or something. Imagine if I join Tick tok and I was like like like like like like like like like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm tho. I'm th. I'm th. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. And I th. And I th. And I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I am the. I am the. I am the. I am th. I am th. I'm hip. That's just... Start doing those tic-tocs about how millennials are trying to cancel Eminem or something. Imagine if I joined Tick-Tock and I was like, I'm going to be a cool dad who does the Tick-Toc dances on Tick-Tock. Yeah, that we've put out on the podcast, but
Starting point is 00:45:48 Sorry in a format where we point at them We're kind of dancing a little and there's text Yes, and then there's a little bubble that just says don't give chips a human dick while we're making the face that says mm-hmm This opinion's correct Yeah Yeah, I think comes up that says We need to talk about. Chimps with human hands and penises, and I pointed it and then go, mm-mm, wag my finger. And then a bubble comes up and says, chips without human hands and betas.
Starting point is 00:46:14 And then, yeah, you're dancing approvingly. Yeah. I think we're on to something. Okay. I think so too. Lucy, you can set that up as the as the youngest 30-something person on this podcast. Who has Tick Tock on their phone? Psychos. I don't. Eleanor. Eleanor does. Psychos, comma, Ellen. She's two separate things obviously. She's younger than me, but older than Lucy. But also she's, she's observing. She's younger than me, but older than Lucy, but also she's observing. She's not participating, you know.
Starting point is 00:46:50 Which I think you can't observe it without changing it in some way. Am I the youngest? How old has it been? How old are you thi? I am 30 years old. Oh. When's your birthday? June? You're a little older than me then. Yep. Very slightly. A little bit wiser.
Starting point is 00:47:08 A lot wiser. How much wiser are we talking? I'm going to say twice as wise. I feel like that's a big stretch, but whatever. So fucking wise. So wise. Never been wiser than I am right now. I've got that the tatatatatatatata tattoo tatatatatatatatatatatatat tato tato the tato tato tato the tato tato tato tato tato tato the tato that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that tha. tha. tha. toda. today. today. today. today. that that that today. that that that that that that that that that that that that I've got that the tattoo that the guy from De Antwerd has, the pretty wise tattoo on my throat. That's how fucking wise I am.
Starting point is 00:47:30 Wow, that's pretty wise. I got bad news for you guys, which is just that I am 100% becoming less wise as time goes on. Me too. I feel like I think about how smart I was like when I was at school and now I'm like oh I don't that that's not the brain that I have in my head now. Remember being able to like read an entire sentence from start to finish? I remember being able to like read a book that was pretty cool yeah like for fun yeah now my brain don't work oh oh my brain is all the like capacity that I would have used on like learning is now just reading posts.
Starting point is 00:48:10 Beautiful beautiful posts like this next post from Chrissy Teagan. Yeah, well you guys probably remember when she tweeat the twee. theytea. I remember that specifically. I'm sure you recall that one. How'd that go for you, Theo? Not, not great. So I got, I got, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to to to to to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thea. thea. thea. thea, like, like, like, like, that specifically. I'm sure you recall that one. How'd that go for you, Theo? Not not great. So I got, I made a very lazy quie, a quote tweet of. A lazy quief. A lazy quief of this. A quie to depend you doubt about it. With some illusion to who she would be playing in the movie Parasite.
Starting point is 00:48:47 And somebody screenshoted this and was like, ah, these, you know, left-wing men think that they're feminists, but, you know, making fun of a woman who lost her baby. I'm like, okay, first of all, I didn't know that about her because I don't insanely follow the personal lives of famous people. Because I don't care. They're not like us. You know how people will respond to those quote tweets where it's like, post the last four celebrities you've saved on your phone. That's who you have to survive in a zombie house where you like, why do you? Why don't have celebrities? What know they have some celebrities. What the fuck is wrong with you? They're not human.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Which leads me to point number two, have some god damn class solidarity. For fuck sake. Like, just, like, she went on to sort of say that, oh, and she's a person of color who's found some success. That's not the, what's so we, so we, the, so, the, the, the, the, the, the, hey, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is thi, is thi, is they, is they they they they they they they they they they they they they they, they they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, that entire exchange to me was that, you know, yeah, like you said, this person going, hey, Chrissy Teagan is simply an innocent woman of
Starting point is 00:50:12 color who has suffered loss. Unisoned girl boss. And, and yeah, like being unable to hold the two thoughts in your head simultaneously that it is sad for somebody to have a miscarriage and lose a baby. That is absolutely sad. Nobody is disputing that. But also that it's kind of fucked up to be like, yes, I have a live-in nurse and I make them dress up in a funny costume at Halloween. During a pandemic, and it's also fucked up. It's just you don't have to tweet this. You don't have to put any of this out there. the thing th the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin the the the thr-I thr-I thu-I tho-up. I tho-up. I'm tho-up. I tho-I that tho-I tho-I thu thu an thu an thu an thu an thu. thu. thu. th. th. I th. th. th. th. th. thu. thu. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I the the the thea thea thea that's that's to that's that's to that's thea that's kind that's that's kind that's thea thea thea thea thea tweet this. You don't have to tweat this. You don't have to put any of this out there. They don't have to do any of it. And it's the thing I think a lot of people pass over about that image is that it looks like she lives in Jared Letto's room from Blade Runner. It does. Like, her house is insane. The bench that's behind her is this marble thing, I think, from memory that costs more than my house. Like, there is nothing, the reason like that people are dying of the pandemic largely because of people like Chrissy Deegan who have accumulated all of this wealth and just
Starting point is 00:51:17 going, well, okay, well I guess I've got this money now. There's nothing for it except to buy large marble plinths to assemble around my house and tweet insanely like 400 times a day... the the the the the the the the the their. their. their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. T, th. Then, th. There, th. There's thi there's there's thi th. There's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is there is nothing, there is nothing, there is nothing, th. There, th. There, th. There, the, the, the, their is nothing the. There's nothing the. the. There's nothing then' is nothing then' is nothing then' is nothing theateate. There's nothing the. There's the. There's th it except to buy large marble plinths to assemble around my house and tweet insanely like 400 times a day. Oh, well luckily it doesn't get worse apart from this tweet which I assume is the one that she got bullied enough that she left Twitter. One time John and I were at a restaurant and the waiter recommended a nice cabinet. We got the bill and it was $13,000. How do you casually recommend that wine? We th? We thine? We thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the wine the the the the. We got the bill and it was $13,000. How do you casually recommend that wine? We didn't even finish it and it had been cleared. I think the answer
Starting point is 00:51:53 to how does someone just casually recommend you a $13,000 bottle of wine is that they... Probably because you're at a restaurant where that's how much the wine costs. It's probably because they know that you live in the Jared Leto pyramid from the film Blade Runner 2049 so they're like, hey, you might like this one. You know what's relatable is like finding out how much the steak costs and going, oh, we have to do a din and dash now from the, from the weird Eiffel Tower restaurant in Brisbane there is no more relatable normal person experience that eating a 180 day dry-aged Angus Rump and running from La Dolce Vita on Park Road in Milton.
Starting point is 00:52:43 I know I know that I know that you have to take these things with a grain of salt, like these websites that speculate on how much somebody is worth. I mean they're all entirely foke. Yeah. So the grain of salt is kind of like, sort of a salt mine worth of salt. Like one of those, like one of those Himalayan lamps. That's that's the grain. But like, but yeah, I don't I I I I I I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I don't, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, of those, like one of those Himalayan lamps. That's, that's, that's the grain. But like, but yeah, I don't, I don't think it's unreasonable to look at Chrissy Teagan and John Legend who are people who between them have like lots and
Starting point is 00:53:17 lots of, the best-selling albums, stadium concert tours, uh, cookbook, Kitchenwear line. A career as a supermodel, like their own clothes line of kitchen products, cookbooks, all of those things, and then there's the living in the big fucking mansion and buying $13,000 bottle's wine part. So I think that maybe the waiter knew who you were and and that you and your husband are worth tens of millions of dollars and can afford that bottle of wine. Because you'll notice that the story didn't end with her saying we then refused to pay for
Starting point is 00:53:56 the bottle of wine. Yeah, it would have been like, fuck, that wine was expensive anyways. It did. And then you tweeted about it. It didn't. Yep. After being bullied about, you know, saying that she's being bullied and how much this affects her, knowing how much people are upset about her tweeting about how much money she has during the pandemic, she just thought, you know what, I'm going to twea this story about the $13,000 bottle of wine. What all these people are yelling to me? Why is their their thi, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, saying, thi, thi, thi, saying, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi. thin, thi. thei. thi. thei. here is that the Forbes guess of her, not guess, the estimation or whatever of her net worth back in 2018, and this is her net worth, I don't know if this includes John Legend, was $11.5 million. There you got.
Starting point is 00:54:41 Damn. That's not in society money. That's, I have money. That's... No. That's...I have escaped society. I live on a little green hill above society. I kind of look over or down at society. I don't have to be there anymore.
Starting point is 00:54:54 You know, in the SimCity 2000, the arcologies you could build, I think they were called? The little glass domes full of plant life that sat way above the city. Yeah. Yeah, she's in one of those and she's looking down at me and my net worth is let's go, the Falcon is $300. My laptop is dying. It's probably worth about $200 at this point. My TV I bought for $600 about eight years ago. I have second-hand TV please. I don't know my collection of paranormal 1970s paperback books is probably worth $15,000. I'm gonna put my net worth at $15,000 and $900. If I didn't have those paranormal paperbacks from about 900 bucks. So if you got the bill for that for that wine bottle it would put a big dint in it that would only be
Starting point is 00:55:43 covered by your paranormal novels. I would have to sell my collection of about a hundred nineteen seventies, nineteen eighties paranormal paperback books, yes, and that would be absolutely galling to me. I've spent a very long time collecting this. Hmm. Yeah, I would have maybe said something like $13,000. There is absolutely no way I can pay for that wine. I would just laugh. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I'd have, I'd have, I'd have to have to have to have, to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to sell, to sell, to sell, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. I the, the, the, the, the, the, the thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, to to thean, to to to to to the thean,, there is absolutely no way I can pay for that wine. I would just laugh. Also, I guess, I guess, who's a, hey, there's something behind you.
Starting point is 00:56:11 It's also like even, even a, smoke bomb. Even at its most fundamental level, right, I think that the overwhelming majority of what I would consider to be normal working people simply have never had an experience of going into a restaurant, ordering whatever they want to eat, ordering whatever they want to drink, and never looking at how much any of those things cost at any stage of the transaction until you get the bill. That's that's the part. A normal person does at a nice restaurant, it says, can I get your second cheapest bottle of cabinet? Yep.
Starting point is 00:56:48 I'm no mug. I'll take the second cheapest. That's right. Is that, uh, is that price by the bottle? Oh, it's by the glass. Oh, uh, smoke bomb. One garlic bread, uh, no, like, uh,'m sorry it's just because you
Starting point is 00:57:07 associate getting one garlic bread with being sucked off by a delivery robot so brings me a child. You know the the waiter brings it out and I just sit there and go well well. So I don't know if you know this but Domino's and Nero. Okay, we're halfway through the transaction. I'm winking at him a lot. Check out the recent bonus episode. I can't remember what that episode was called. Didn't like any of my suggestions. Yeah, that's true. We had really good suggestions there.
Starting point is 00:57:42 He just breezed straight ahead and gave it something that apparently was not memorable at all Fine editing rights. An empty man a plan a canal What were the suggestions you put on let's look? It's an't it ionic. I believe we? We both like. Oh, it's interesting you laugh at that one. God fucking damn it. So? So? And I've already placed some in the in the in the in? It's a good one. It's. It's, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, like, like, th. It, it, like, it, like, th. It, it, th. It, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's a, th. It's a th. It's a th. It's like, th. It's a th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's like, th. It's a th. It's like, th. It's a the, itthat one. God fucking damn it. So. And I've already placed some in the in the chat there for, so feel free to disregard my suggestions as well for this. It's a little peek behind the curtain. And uh, sorry, the other suggestion, there was two suggestions, there was, isn't it an ionic from there,
Starting point is 00:58:21 and then there was smack my chops up for me and no one laughed at that so he's a different one that no one laughed at. Took my revenge by picking a different name without consulting anyone. I've got mad with power. So Lucy what you're saying is that we should all aspire to be more like Krusey Tigger. Oh yeah that's definitely what I'm saying is that if you are rich and enjoying all the fruits of being rich, stay off Twitter. That's for us. That's for the filthy little piggies in the swamp. It is, it is truly.
Starting point is 00:58:51 She grew up kind of normal. Like she lived in a not super wealthy household. Like you should have some memory of what it's like to be a normal person. If like you can still twea twea t. You're twe-you twe-you the, you're the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th-I, th-I, th-I, th-I, th-I, that, th-I's, th-I, th. th, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. And, th. And, th. And, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, thi. And,- You can still tweet, you just don't have to tweet about your life like it's relatable. Don't mention the horses. Or being like, I can't remember which of our eight cars I left my phone in. Oh, it's all right.
Starting point is 00:59:15 I just bought a new one. Oh, that's my casual horse. A horse for the day and a horse for the night. So, with that in mind, are we ready to move on to some of our own correspondence? Yes. Oh please, can I get a little theme check here? Because I haven't heard this. One, eight hundred, three, one, seven, five, five. That's the Boltervista hotline
Starting point is 00:59:46 One, 8003175 that's the Boltervista hotline. You can send us an email. Mail bag at Bolsista dot com. Maybe DM us on Twitter. You could even message Facebook. But we don't really check the Facebook game. 8003175. That's the Boulter Vista hotline.
Starting point is 01:00:14 1,803175. That's the Buntervester hotline. Beautiful thank you. Welcome to the mailback. This came to us via listener Cameron. Who says, Dear Buntavista Crew, I was listening to last week's bonus episode, Carnival of Holes. That's a good one. Now if uh, just as a refresher, if you are a subscriber to the bonus episodes, Patreon.com slash, Punta Vista, this was an episode where we inadvertently talked about cruise ship means and lists from carnival cruises about things people miss about going on cruises during the pandemic. I'm still very sorry about that episode. cruises during the pandemic. I'm still very
Starting point is 01:01:05 sorry about that episode. Truly one of the most dying episodes with ever. I'm much like the Concordia this was something of a cruise ship disaster. So Cameron says I was listening to last week's bonus episode Carnival of Holes and got a huge surprise as you read out a meme that I made a few years ago. Wonderful what a beautiful thing the human experience is. Back in 2017, I was an active part of the Imigur, Imgir, how do we want to do that? I have never thought about how you're meant to pronounce it.
Starting point is 01:01:39 No, I think it was true. I'mgir. Imgir is like, that's a Swedish first name I'm pretty sure. This is my daughter Imgir. Your roll-ups are ready. I was an active part of the Imgir community and I made a bad meme about boats and Archimedes principle of relative buoyancy. I'm surprised and delighted that it's still circulating amongst cruise officiados such as yourselves.
Starting point is 01:02:04 You fucking cheeky, fucking, sort of shit. Cruise officianato my ass. Hope you're all well and thank you for your podcasting service. Kind regards, Cameron. X-O-X. Hold on a second. That's one kiss, one hug, and one more kiss, and there's only three of us.
Starting point is 01:02:24 It was a small kiss as well, one big kiss. So how do we want to distribute these? Can I have the big kiss please? There's four of us, so I don't have to be touched at all. I'll have a heart, oh. I think Andrew can just have the kiss in the hug. You're rejecting Cameron's good faith here, his show of... Cameron's not going to like that.
Starting point is 01:02:50 Oh, no, well, sorry, as per the previous main episode. I have mono, so just, so kind of no... Ben will have the big kiss. I will hold Cameron in my arms and give him one closed mouth kiss. No, no, like right on the lips. It's gonna go to five to ten seconds, my eyes wide open, staring straight in his the whole time. So I will say in retrospect, my recollection is that this is the one one we listed off that
Starting point is 01:03:23 anyone had anything positive to say about it and it was Theo who said, no, that's actually funny. There you go. I could be wrong, dig into the archives. I'm sure it was nice. I don't listen to podcasts, but sure it's good. That's a guy activity. Who has the time? Well, I think, speaking of who has the time. Well I think speaking of who has the time we do not have the time for any more podcast on this episode. We can't simply release another 90-minute episode because one of us is stoned one of us is drunk and the other has just taken a cericle. Really sad I missed out on that one. We'll leave you to sift out who is who in that. Impossible to produce. Do your own rankings on that one.
Starting point is 01:04:09 Yeah, no, I mean we'll absolutely do that again, just not today. We can't... That was a wonderful episode. I listen back to it and all of it was a surprise to me. A surprise and a delight, I might say. You have it folks. Well, we'll see everybody next week. Bye. Bye. Bye. Say goodbye, you see. We all said it at the same time.
Starting point is 01:04:38 We all said it at the same time. Yeah, yeah.

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