Boonta Vista - EPISODE 207: A Crate Of Your Finest Bitch Juice
Episode Date: July 9, 2021A new life awaits you, in the online colonies. In this episode we take a look at the futuristic Earth 2, plus: Queensland cops abusing their powers and losing their guns, French winemakers getting rea...lly quite mad at Russia over champagne, and more of Theo Sees. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at mailbag@boontavista.com! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista
Transcript
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Hello and welcome. He's head worse and worse than the time.
Okay.
Hello and welcome.
To Borda Vista, episode 207.
I am Ben and I am here in cyberspace.
That's right.
I am a real nethead.
A console jockey.
A console cowboy.
In the words of one of the characters from Tom Clancy's Net Force that I recollect from reading the book when I was like 12 years old,
I am a real loobe foot.
I believe that is a correct recollection, but I've not googled it.
Hacking my way through this digital meta space.
With me is a cube, who is Theo. Hey Theo.
How you going, man.
We're doing great. How are you? Good man. I'm just floating in cyberspace here.
Yeah. Got a green tint going on. Yeah, I'm sort of hovering above a sort of green grid on a black background and then above that, slowly rotating, but in a way that reveals that, uh, a thea. that reveals that, uh, th. Hey, thi, that, the, the, the, thee, the, the, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, how the, the, how thi, how the, how the, how the, how the, how the, the, how thee thee thee thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, how thee, how thee, thee, thee, thee, thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee thee the the thea thea thea thea thea thea thea'a'a'a'a thea'a' thea' thea thea, thethen above that slowly rotating, but in a way
that reveals that there's a lot of artifacts happening on the edges of your cube.
Yeah. I'm enjoying being a cube floating in midair, certainly a lot of my anxieties are gone.
But new ones have been introduced in like, so you know how everything's wireframe?
Yeah.
And I realize that people can just sort of see through the toilet door.
Yes.
So I'm a cube, but I still got a shit.
Which is an odd facet of the design of cyberspace.
It's not part of the design.
Every single thing is an abstract representation of data, but the data has tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha thia thia tham thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiol-a thia thioletha thiol-a thoan a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's data, but the data has to shit.
That is my understanding. Data must shit.
I thank you to Bill Gates for that one. That was his idea.
Yeah. I've got an IT degree and I do know a thing about things.
Data's got a shit. You know that a lot of people sort of venerate Bill Gates as this great programmer,
whereas really he was kind of more of a salesman and also the guy that insisted you
should be able to see through toilet doors to see the program shitting. Yeah.
Which fine for him. You know obviously it led off but for us just cubes in cyberspace.
If you're a cube and you're shitting yeah and everyone can see you.
Also with me is a sphere. Who's Lucy? Hi Lucy.
God, I wish I was a cube. I have got to say that with the, you know, the amazing technology
that allows us to render cyberspace, a cube looks pretty all right. A sphere looks like absolute
dog shit. It does, and I do look like dodge it, but here's the deal. I don't have
to shit. So... Cubes need to shit. Spheres are fine. Spheres are fine. There's some weird shit
going on inside of my, my shape, my body. I don't need to shit. So, you know, how look, you look.
Terrible though. I don't know how I would go if someone was like, you can be a good-looking cube that has
to shit or a terrible-looking sphere that doesn't have to shit.
I don't know what I'd choose.
You chose sphere.
Get back to me.
I feel I've made the right decision.
Imagine never shitting again, you know, just just imagine that life. Am I right? I think I
am each so their own. I went away camping for the last couple of days right?
And it was one of those ones where there's there's nothing there. They that's
it's just a spot that you have and they're like bringing everything you need.
And so I'm like, okay I brought a whole toilet situation. This is a, I brought a camp toilet with me, which is essentially a like 30 liter fishing bucket
with a sort of crude lid that opens up to be a toilet seat on top of it.
And I spent the days before I went camping being like, God, I hope I don't have to shit.
And then while I was there being like, God, I don't have, I hope I don't have to shit. And then while I was there being like God I don't have I hope I just I hope I don't have to shit and then I got to the end of
the three days and I was like oh I didn't need to shit didn't need to use
that at all. I'm sorry you didn't need to shit in three days is that so no shit's no shit's for three days well you know I arrived you know I I I I I on Tuesday and I left at 9 p.m. this
morning a Thursday and no shit's occurred in that time. That's wild. That is
absolutely wild. And I feel fine. Yeah. All three of you are looking at it was
revulsion at this point. And still none. Oh no oh my god when I got home.
Immediately shit. What have the better shits of my life? Muscle memory kicked it.
Like top five. I think this is an act of incredible willpower by me.
This brand new, still in the plastic camp toilet, unused at this point and I'm quite thankful.
The human body is so beautiful. Not like fierce though. It's Andrew. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. the m. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. Mus'. Mus'. Mus mine. Not like spheres though.
It's a big pyramid.
It's Andrew.
Hi Andrew.
Hi, I can't stop shitting.
That's a pyramid.
Yeah, pyramids have to shit twice as much.
But they look four times better than a cube?
Uh, look better than a sphere.
Oh my god. Don't even talk about spheres right now. That makes me want to fucking to f- Look better than a cube, rendered a lot better than a sphere.
Oh my god, don't even talk about spheres right now, that makes me want to fucking throw up just thinking about one.
I'm here, all right, I'm right here.
You know how shit you look. You're well aware.
That is a surprise to you.
All right.
Yep. Friends with Jay-Z. You know?
You know?
A lot of benefits.
A lot of benefits to the pyramid model.
I'm missing a reference?
Are you just friends with Jay-Ze?
It's a big Illuminati guy.
And as you know, a pyramid right up there. He does have that wink wink and eye up there Andrew and that's looking it's looking a little red buddy
that's me you're not feeling so good yeah no I'm just high all right and how do you tell the
difference between a wink and a blink with the like if the illuminati is going to kind of
all right you got those the special glasses from Contrara the lately uses the? Yeah. like like like like like like like the, like the, like the, like the, like the, like the, like the, like the, like the, like the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the Illuminati is going to wink at you the kind of, alright. You got those, the special glasses from Contraama, the Lealy uses.
Yeah.
Uh, but no, I, I agree.
It's hard to tell.
Um, I, I try and always blink more than once if I'm blinking.
So that you know, when I wink at you, you'll know.
So is it two winks for a blink? Yes.
Okay, that actually seems like I'm just doing it a lot.
It's a straightforward system, unless you're doing it a lot.
And then it's very confusing.
Look, it's a simple system really.
I don't have time to get into it in great detail.
A lot of pages in the manual.
And also I'm running back and forth to the cyber toilet constantly.
It is kind of unfortunate that like Western scientists and explorers and stuff had to invent
alien like visitations and stuff to explain how the Egyptians got the pyramids to shit the whole time.
Yeah, actually it turns out ancient brown people can make a pyramid shit all by themselves.
They didn't have to be from the fucking Pliades.
No, an alien made that pyramid shit.
That's Eric von Dandenkin's whole argument is the advanced toilet technology accepted by the
Egyptians most clearly have been the work of aliens.
Must be from another planet.
Now, all other planet Ben.
Andrew, I am...
Yeah, and that...
No, that is quite good.
I was going to say that I realized I left you in a bad spot to do a segue
and that I made you not look at the next thing in the notes at all.
Yeah.
But then you...
Yeah, you kind of nailed it then I just talked over the top of it so. Oh, podcast cancelled?
Yeah, I guess that's it.
Um, thank you.
We'll be deleting myself from the digital realm with a gun.
Thank you guys for being along on this crazy ride.
Two hundred and seven episodes. What a thrill.
What a thrill. It's probably more, but there is really any way to count it. So we were trying to work out, just a little peek behind the canton here,
there's a curtain open a little.
We're trying to work out what episode this was, what number episode?
And Ben said,
Ben said, episode 207, and Andrew said, yes, I got it right right entering it into cast. And what have you entered into
cast there, Andrew?
Oh no.
Uh-oh.
That's a hundred and seven.
That's right.
That's a little off.
We're terrible at podcasting.
It's a little off.
Every now and then I'll listen to another podcast, which I know it's crazy,
you're like, great at podcasting. We should make that a stretch goal.
Become good at podcasting.
Seems like a lot of work.
Some might say too much work.
It seems to be working for us now, being a bad podcast.
So, yeah, thanks for listening.
Thank you. That's it, we're packing it in. Yeah, I kind of figured it. Yeah, I kind of, I thi. Yeah. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that th. We that. We that. We that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that. We're that that's that's that's being a bad podcast. So, yeah, thanks for listening. I appreciate your spot.
That's it, we're packing it in.
Yeah, I kind of figured, um, since you told me not to look at this thing or read anything
about it, that maybe you would kick us off here, man.
And I absolutely will.
Could I get you to do me one single favor before I do though? No hands hands is is is is th as a th as a this this this this this this this this pyramid this pyramid this pyramid this pyramid this pyramid this pyramid this pyramid this pyramid this pyramid this pyramid this pyramid this pyramid this pyramid thusus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thoomom, thi. thi. thi. thoomoomorrow. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. toeaa. toea. toea. tea. tea. tea. that's fine. Could you use your pyramid mind?
I don't really know how this works, even though I introduce the scenario.
Could you kick off the scam watch theme for me, please?
Okay, but it's very awkward.
If I want to pick something up, I have to grasp it between the lids of my one big eye.
Big Illuminati eye. I'm really
uncomfortable if it's anything with kind of a rough surface. It's just it's it's
grazing my eye. I don't like that at all. But in this case I can just kind of
lean one of my points over and tap it down twice on the button that says
scam watch. that says, Scamwatch. That was so good.
So this was sent into us by a listener.
And I would love so very much to tell you who that listener was, but I cannot find the message
that this was sent to us via.
I checked...
But if it's you, you know it was you. You would know it was you.
You would know it was you. And I wish I could give you credit. I checked our But if it's you, you know it was you. You know it was you. You would know it was you.
And I wish I could give you credit. I'd checked our Patreon messages. I checked our Twitter DMs.
I checked our Twitter mentions. I can't find it. I can't find it. try to thea.
I might have dreamt it maybe. It's hard to say anyway. I'd like to talk to you guys about an exciting new opportunity now I don't want to sound like a sales pitch here but you know how
you're very familiar with earth one the one that you live on do you know I've been
calling it earth one the whole time referring to earth yes earth one that's right that's correct you know it's got Africa the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to Earth. Yes, Earth one, that's right, that's correct. You know it's got
Africa, it's got Beijing, it's got Switzerland, it's got New Zealand, you'd be familiar with it.
It's got Kevin's Warehouse, Eurasia. Matthew Riley, he's on there.
Sure.
Yeah.
So, okay, well what I'm suggesting is, Earth One, yuck!
What about Earth 2?
Yeah, now I've got your attention.
I'm listening.
Now, what is Earth 2?
Wow, that's a good question.
I'll let them explain.
Earth 2 is the beginning of our world's future virtual existence, and today you have a chance to own part of this incredible future.
We envisage a virtual digital world on a one-to-one scale with Earth.
Places in Earth 2 are essentially in the same location as Earth, because the Earth 2 digital grid system is geographically linked to the world we live in. The vision of Earth 2 is to create
a global digital representation of our Earth, a place where people can build, abide, trade,
live, experience, interact, and so much more. The vision is long-term and monumental.
And we feel the introduction of Earth 2 represents
the birth of the world's virtual timeline.
If you share our dream and our vision, then we invite you to partake and become part of history.
By purchasing your own piece of virtual land in Earth too, you're not only supporting
the virtual future of our world, but also creating an amazing
opportunity for yourself to make profit by becoming involved early.
So you guys are, you're all on board.
Like so far we've got basically the Sims, you've got civilization.
Second life. Maybe second life, maybe second life. I feel more than anything
else at this point. To me so far, this is a little bit reminiscent of Moon Real Estate.
That was my other point of reference. Which the listener might be familiar with from
episode 164 Jim's Moon Sailing, which we did with Dear Friend of the show Ben Jenkins,
Andrew and Lucy might be less familiar with it because famously no one in this podcast listens to episodes
that they're not on.
Absolutely.
Now, if you're somewhat confused by this concept,
I'll let them explain it to you again,
but in a slightly reworded way.
Earth, too, is the beginning of our world's future virtual existence, and today you have a chance to to own part part part part part part part part part part part part part part to to to to to to the virtual to to the virtual to the virtual to the virtual to the virtual to the virtual to the beginning of our world's future virtual existence and today you have a chance
to own part of this incredible future.
We envisage a virtual digital world on a one-to-one scale with Earth.
Places at Earth 2 are essentially in the same location as Earth because the Earth 2 digital
grid system is geographically linked to the world we live in.
The vision of Earth too is to create a global digital representation of our Earth, a place where people can abide, trade, live, experience, interact and so much more.
By purchasing your own piece of virtual land in Earth 2, you're not only supporting
the virtual future of our world, but also creating an amazing opportunity for yourself
to make profit by becoming involved early, but if you're still unsure, simply sign up for a free account
so we can keep you updated on
future releases.
Okay, you're asking, why would you do this?
And let me let them explain it to you.
Point number one, land value.
The price of land inside Earth 2 fluctuates from country to country, and since each block
is unique, they are one-of-a-kind collectible digital item.
Each piece of land starts at US 10 cents for a 10 meter by 10 meter tile.
Our in-game trading platform is available and operational now.
If you want to collect land someone else owns, you can make them an offer and if someone wants land you hold, they can make you an
offer. Before buying any land from another user, please note that all purchases
are final. Earth 2 is an open market. The prices are determined, like in the
real world, by demand and what another user wants to pay to collect a piece.
Reason number two.
Referral system periodic bonuses.
Land bonuses are in-game credits you can receive based on you playing the game and owning land
and how many new players are joining a country in which you own land.
You keep saying, you keep saying the word game, Ben.
Yes.
There is no game involved with this product.
Okay, thank you. Yeah. They certainly use the game a lot to refer to to a to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses bonuses. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to the the to to to to to to to the bonuses.e bonuses.e bonuses.o bonuses.e bonuses.e bonuses.o bonuses.e bonuses.o bonuses.e bonuses.o bonuses. to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the Yes. There is no game involved with this product. Okay, thank you.
Yeah. And they certainly use the game a lot to refer to a product that has no game whatsoever
attached to it. Just by playing and owning land in Earth 2, you can receive these in-game
credits as a reward for being an early adopter and helping Earth 2's community to grow.
Be proud of your Earth 2's community to grow. Be proud of
your Earth 2 country and help it grow. There are only a limited number of class 1,
class 2 and class 3 tiles available at each country with better rewards for
players holding a higher class of land. All classes will have the same ability to be
developed with buildings and help grow Earth 2. All thoes
if those two reasons aren't enough to get you on board, here's reason 3.
Referral System 5% bonus.
Oh, thank God.
For a limited time, there will be a promotional referral system which is beneficial for
the provider and the purchaser.
Every user will have their own unique referral code, which can be found on the
settings page after logging into your account. When purchasing land users will be able to be to get to get to be to get to be to get to be the the to get their their their their their their their their their their their own unique referral code which can be found on the settings page after logging into your account.
When purchasing land, users will be able to apply a referral code.
This referral code will give the purchase of 5% credit back on their purchase and 5% credit
to the owner of the referral code.
The referral code will remain active automatically on all future purchases unless the
purchaser changes again.
Pretty good so far, but what about point four? Resources gathered. When users
find loot, treasure, or resources on land that you own, you will automatically be given
a portion of the ownership depending on what type of land class you own. What? Why would
there be loot or treasure? Number five. Advertisement income. Hold on, it's just like, it's just like Earth One,
you know, how, when there's like a gold rush and all the land that nobody lives on yet.
Well, maybe you strike some of that black gold or that Texas tea.
And then you get to pick up the Beverly Hillbillies.
Number five, advertisement income. When advertisements are delivered on land that you own, you will be given a portion
of the review generated from those advertisements depending on the class of
land you own. How is it, how is it, how is it? How is it? How is it? How is it? How is it? How how is it? How is it? How are you will receive a portion of the value of those digital assets? So? the, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you to, you to, you to, you to, you to, you to, you to, you to, you to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their, you will be their, you will be their, you will be their, you their, you their, you their, you the the the the the the the the th, you th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, you thi, thi, the. theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, thi land that you own, you will receive a
portion of the value of those digital assets. So if a user wishes to build a house, game,
shopping center, and so forth on land that you own, part of the value of the assets used
to build will be given to you in game credit and added to your account.
Why would I let someone build on my land?
What a wonderful question.
I'll outliad the deal with the simple three-phase plan.
Phase one, claim land.
This phase involves the ability to claim, buy, trade, analyze, land trade prices, and more.
Phase 2. Resources.
Resources will be released in the first half of 2021 at the earliest possible point.
It will involve the ability for virtual land to begin generating different types
of resources that will be vital for building and economic purposes in Earth too.
These resources will be tradable between users for other resources or credits.
In the future, users requiring resources to build or for other purposes will need to generate
or gather resources or buy them with credits from users who have stock. We will also be releasing
details about general uses for the varying resources.
Is now the second half of 2021? I'd just like to point out.
Phase 3, terrain
In phase 3, users will be given first access to the Earth 2 terrain system.
What's the terrain system?
Earth already has train?
Is that just Earth?
That's not the Earth.
Take a quick look at their frequently asked questions.
To what extent will chance influence the game?
There will definitely be elements of chance, as there are on earth one, but not to an extent
that will make the economic simulation of game, sorry, the economic simulation a game of
chance, not even close.
Good planning and a neatly executed strategy will determine success, not luck.
Will I be able to wage war against the other players? Not in the sense that you can subsequently own their tiles, no.
But there will be, over time, several PV games that work within the game system.
And, if you opt in, you can participate.
But it will definitely be an opt-in.
If you do not want PV, the game will leave you alone. War is definitely not an integral and
indispensable part of the gameplay. Earth 2 will be a more peaceful place.
Now here's a question that wasn't covered in the FAQ. This is taken from the Earth
2 subreddit. The title of the question is simply, no Jules!
What's about 8x the Earth 2 subreddit. The title of the question is simply, no jewels!
Just about 8 exclamation marks. I bought three tiles earlier in the year. In
resources I see that I have no jewels. What do you have to do to be given jewels?
They say you have to visit your properties regularly, but why should I? It's boring and nothing is happening.
Here is a selection of the responses. I have 79 tiles I bought on the 4th of July.
This morning I've gotten one small yellow gem. It came from one land class 4 tile, brackets
US. Another response, I have close to 1,200 tiles and I've only gotten like 5 jewels, man.
Calm down.
Here is a third response.
I have a little more over 500 tiles and got two gems.
When we take into account what the other guy here said, 1,200 jules and 5 tiles,
it looks like we're looking at a 1 jewel per 250 tiles
ratio approximately, but they're not really something special either.
I have one that gives me... What is the jewel?
Oh, all the questions we answered.
Oh, thank God.
I have one that gives me plus.
the point 5% on limestone production.
Ah, it's just Warcraft now.
And no, you can't produce any of that yet.
Can't sell those gems either.
So at the moment, there of no use at all.
Edit. I actually have six gems now.
I loogged in before, I believe that's a typo,
to read up what the 0.5% was for, and a few minutes later, new gems appeared.
So don't know what triggers it or what the ratio is.
All right, so now you understand what the product is.
Right.
Let's learn a little more...
More limestone production for my terrain.
Yeah, but you can't actually produce limestone, so it's useless.
The founder of Earth 2 is a man named Shane Isaac and he lives in Brisbane. According to his LinkedIn he has been CEO since
November 2020, I believe the product launch in December of 2020. This is his
bio on the website. With over 20 years experience in development, product development and
management, Shane has an avid passion for big concepts and thinking outside the box. He has a burning desire to develop Earth 2 into
an alternate digital reality, a reality people can literally feel around their
physical presence anywhere in the world. Shane is the driving force
that brings a star-stutted team of professionals together for the
common cause of creating the Earth 2 platform for millions around the world. So I get that that's what his goal was.
I think what he accidentally created entirely by mistake is actually a Ponzi
scheme. Oops! Yeah, he slipped on an art appeal and created a giant
digital Ponzi scheme. So you buy something that has no value in the hopes that someone else will for no reason
whatsoever think that the thing you have is worth more value and then they buy it off you.
And then you've made a profit in virtual money and maybe you can turn that into real
money.
Here is a snippet from their terms and conditions.
The value of virtual land that is not yet assigned to ownership by any particular user is
set by us in our discretion, including by the use of algorithms that respond to various
factors including the apparent supply and demand and desirability of particular lots.
Obviously that means nothing because there's no supply because it's fake,
there's no demand because the supply is fake and desirability is fake because it's not
anything.
There is no inherent value in any virtual land, this is from their own terms and conditions,
and the value in particular blocks of virtual land and in the virtual land generally
may fluctuate a value from time to time by various factors including user demand
and our algorithmic determination of land values.
We reserve the right in the future to convert your holding of virtual land or any equivalent credits held in the earth two platform
to an equivalent value of a cryptocurrency that we may create in the future.
Oh my god.
Okay, so I've been sitting this whole time going, well, this is all one big speculative asset,
but at least it doesn't appear to be on the blockchain. Mmm.
Yeah.
This next sentence is quite good.
Any conversion would be conducted a valuation reasonably determined by us.
So people that have sunk $15,000 US dollars into this believing that the coin on there
is worth $15,000 dollars, they could just be like, oh, it's actually worth
10 Earth 2 coin,
which is worth $5.
If your membership is canceled in accordance with these terms, or you cancel you use the website
for any reason, you forfeit any virtual land assigned to your account, and we are not liable
to you in any way, including without limitation for the payment of any amount
in respect of the relevant virtual land.
That's so cool.
Any virtual land so forfeited returns to ownership by us and we've made available for
sale to other users at the price determined by us.
Oh, incredible.
Also getting your money out is insanely hard.
It's not like it's just a button where you go, withdraw money please. You have to email them to ask them to pay you out your money.
And that involves giving them your name, your address, a photo of your driver's license.
Like a whole to tie, their personal information.
And if you look at the subreddit for this or like a ton of other websites,
they will either take weeks and weeks to do it or or they just, or they just, is awesome. I will read this neat little summary of what the thing is from a website called AI Multiple.
In answer to the question, is this a Ponzi scheme?
Currently it looks like one.
People investing with the hope that later other people will buy it for them at a higher price.
The underlying asset currently has no real value, is centrally managed, can be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the thee thee thee thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the. I I the. I the. I the. I the the th. I th. I th. I th. I will the the the the the the the the the the the thi will thi will thi will to thi will toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thi will thi people will buy it for them at a higher price. The underlying asset currently has no real value, is centrally managed, can be manipulated
by a relatively obscure party, the developer company, and people already report cash withdrawal
problems.
You invented Bitcoin but worse.
Congratulations.
This is so good, but who is, you know, think about the kind of guy that's invested
that has 1,200 tiles on Earth 2.
So, are you sad for him?
They have like a leaderboard on their website where it's like the most amount of assets
people own.
And the top, I think, is somewhere around like 150,000 Earth 2 coin, which is not a
cryptocurrency. That is just an arbitrary thing that used for...
Yeah.
Well, what was until a couple of months ago was US dollars.
And it's supposed to be a one-to-one translation, but it's not.
So you don't know whether this person has sunk in like a hundred thousand US or whatever.
Like, it's very hard to tell.
There are no figures on how many users it has. Either way, it's probably a lot of money. It's got to be right.
To be invested in earth to get five jewels.
And they've chuffed in videos of what the thing itself is actually like,
even though, so what it is, is you click on a tile
and you go, I want to buy that, and then maybe someone buys it off you. But they keep being like, but it's also, but it, but it, but it, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's their, but it's their, but it's their, but it's their, but it's their, but it's their, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also, but it's also a the the the the the the their their also a their also a their also a their also a their also a their also a their the have used some like GIS earth mapping thing where they take actual data about the
earth and then they draw unreal engine map shit on top of it. There are trees
there are mushrooms whatever and then they're like they've put up these videos
being like oh check out our physics simulation and it's a guy driving a a Jeep around on Earth 2, but that's not something you can do in it.
You can't enter into Earth 2 at any point.
But you might be able to drive a Jeep around soon.
Maybe.
No promises though.
I'm listening though.
I've got to say, because I can't drive around a Jeep
in Earth One. I can probably sort you out with a Jeep. I don't think I could do it. If you really
want to drive a Jeep around, I find you a Jeep. Also their logo is like an extremely blatant
rip-off of the EA logo, which feels like one of the more prominent logos in the world. Ah. But minus the pyramid. No, I'm thinking, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can can can, I can, I can can, I can, I can can, I can, I can can, I can th th logos in the world. But minus the
pyramid, no I'm thinking of very old EA logo. No I'm talking the modern one
that's just an EA. Okay. So if you if you Google Earth 2 logo and you can pause
the podcast to do this, your brain almost automatically passes it as the EA logo and I urge you to do this.
They also have a larger representation of a sort of a hero image which is two earths conjoined in the
manner of conjoined twins that looks like a ball sack that you're viewing from underneath. It's powerful stuff. So how do we how do
we rate this? Victims? You know, the hmm. Perfect. I don't feel too bad for the victims
because you're grouping on people who would buy crypto otherwise.
Except they're not even smart enough to buy into crypto.
Yeah, they're just spending their money on this, which doesn't really exist and doesn't really make sense.
Which isn't really anything, yeah.
I'd like this because the exit scam is like baked into it.
Yep, they're just like, oh, we'll just cancel your money because you just bought in-game tokens and they're not worth anything. It's kind of the perfect scam.
It's like a... I feel like it would be hard to prosecute because you could just be like, it's
it's game, it's the Earth 2 game, you know, you bought your tiles and yeah. You got a a drill that was on your screen for a little bit that gave you you you you you you you you. Yeah. You got your ninja fortnight skin.
You paid for it.
And now you have it.
Uh, bullsiness.
I mean, not incredibly balsy to revolve nerds.
No, it's kind of a, you could be like, in Harvard and doing this scam for like a course or something.
I can't tell if the pretending it's the start of a future digital representation of Earth
that will last throughout the ages is either unnecessary fufera or a master stroke of making
it very confusing to figure out what's going on.
Yeah, I'm confused by that, because you can't even go into this earth too?
No, you can't at this point, no.
Very unclear.
But you can buy, you know, you can click on a random point in Azerbaijan and buy a 10 by 10
meter square of it.
So they put in the getting money part, but literally no other part of
the thing. They put in about where they get the money. If you're a user, you're currently at step
three, which I believe is question mark, question mark, and as a product owner you're at step four,
which I believe is profit. Yes. So they've done quite well there. I like it. I'm into it, you know. But I can I can drive a Jeep on earth too
so you know. No you can't. The developers could drive a Jeep on earth too. You're not allowed to.
You can't do it. You just get your jewel that gives you 0.5 limestone production.
And you don't produce me a limestone.
Terrain is coming in the future.
Pretty psyched for terrain at some point.
So, you know, which also doesn't make sense
because it's meant to be a completely one-to-one version of this earth.
Which has its own terrain.
Which has kind of be baked into it.
Terrain is actually one of the biggest features of the earth.
It's right up up up there the earth. It's right up there.
Congratulations Shane, you have come up with a wonderful scam. His last business is registered
to the suburb of Birkdale. So if you live around there, keep an eye up for Shane Isaac.
And then the crime pass for this week is to... Ah, just kidding. Don't kill that man if you see him in the street. Oh, I wasn't gonna say that at all, but. Oh. And th. And th. And th. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. S. Sish. Sish. th. Sish. th. Shane, their. Sish. Shane, their, th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. to the. the. the. the. th man if you see him in the street. Oh, I wasn't going to say that at all, but okay.
Oh.
Well, I mean, the murder part, you know.
Kill him in Earth too.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Perfect.
Hello.
It's me.
Ben, from this podcast.
Marian Webster defines a podcast as a program made available in digital format for automatic
download over the internet, and that simply could not be more true.
If you like what we do and want more of this podcast made available to you in digital format
for automatic download over the internet, simply go to Patreon.
to the to.
to hit the enormous red button that says subscribe. For five US dollars a month you get access to our weekly bonus episodes,
our entire archive bonus episodes,
our exclusive Discord server,
and an RSS feed of both the bonus episodes and free episode
that doesn't have these ads in them.
That sweet, sweet subscriber cash allows me to do this show full-time
without having to get a real job, and frankly, that whips to me.
The other guys also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also also guys also get some money or whatever but I don't really care. Anyway check that out if it sounds good to
you. Love you. Huh. Speaking of... Uh-huh? Yeah. Sorry I thought you were about to go from a
ha into one of your classic segues. One of my classic segues of course if you were about to go from a ha into one of your classic segues. One of my classic segues, of course, if you were going to be killed on earth to, who
would you expect to shoot you except for a classic policeman?
I for one I'm signing up to become a cop on earth to.
I like that you said police man with the intonation that a child would use. A policing man.
Now, you don't have to worry about it too much around here
because cops can't shoot you if they can't find their guns.
Must be time for an addition of cop watch.
That is distinct from scam watch.
Yeah. That sting is so versatile. Really is. It's also completely. It's also completely. That is distinct from scam watch.
Yeah.
That sting is so versatile.
Really is.
It's also completely different to, I guess, all of the other watches that we do, the boat watch.
Podcasts that don't have segments do.
How do you just go into another story without having a little piece of music to divide it up? How do you delineate between things? Who could say?
Do you just get to a point and say, well, enough of that.
That'll do.
And here's another thing.
Well, maybe you could listen to Buntavista episodes, one to...
I can't remember what that podcast is about. I'm not interested.
No one needs to know, you know, what this website's about.
This is from the Brisbane Times, BT.
That's what they put in a little mobile version.
That's what we got.
It's the other BT thing that's like the media.
The mech from Titan Falls 2.
No, I believe you're describing the Mazda BT70.
Yep, sort of yut.
Strangely enough.
It's like you almost said BTS.
You're describing the the K-pop band or BTS, no, no sorry BTN, behind the news the Australian
Children's Television Program?
Oddly enough you are all correct.
Oh, hmm.
This is from the Brisbane Times.
Queensland Police use of check-in data sparks reform calls.
Now, sure, that's mildly interesting. We've
all been loving how the Queensland police said, hey we want you to check in
everywhere that you go for safety and that's all it's going to be used for.
Until until the second that they wanted it for something and then they were like,
no I'm getting in there. You remember that metadata the second that they wanted it for something and then they were like, nah, I'm getting in there.
You remember that metadata, the metadata stuff?
Well, they're like, no.
We'll never look at it.
Oh, no, we did a bunch.
And we're like constantly asking if we can look at it.
We'll never look at it, but it's strangely important to us that you legislate that we can look at it. Just in case. Just in case we don't.
Imagine the people running this country,
explorers on a ship.
And along the way, they pick up your data in the form of turtles.
And what they're going to do is get your data, their data, to you, without boiling any
of your delicious.
And it's walking around so the data is delicious,
and if it's walking around so slowly, it's a...
You wouldn't, and you know, you're never gonna be able to taste this kind of data again.
No, and God, you wish you had some fresh meat.
Oh, so bad. You're right out of beef.
You're just down to cornmeal.
Water everywhere, but not a data to eat. Hmm.
Hmm.
God, we're so fucking smart without literary references.
God damn.
So Queensland police, shockingly have used data collected by the check-in-Queslan app,
despite promising,
despite the state government promising,
it would only be used for contact tracing purposes.
Why is it always the Queensland police?
Yeah, I love the fact that we have to like, you know, there's this clear, like trade-off
between privacy and having all this information there so people don't die so when someone gets
coronavirus we can work out who's touched them so more people don't die so that when you know someone gets coronavirus we can work out who's toucest them so more people don't die.
And all you have to do is just have complete trust in the system and you just don't go and touch that data.
It's all you got to do. It's all you got to do just leave the data alone. But that's not what they've done.
No. But they probably had a
good reason. Oh I'm sure it was a tremendous reason. Of course. I think the reason
was mainly because we we want to you know. Well it would have made their lives a little
easier as we'll find out. Well yeah. Of course it's all very helpful when you do actually want people checking in in places,
so it's always a good move by the government to just legitimize everybody's paranoid thought
about what is the worst thing that the government could do with the data that I've collected
on you by immediately turning around and doing that very thing.
It's so good that like this whole thing, the whole fucking last what year and a half we've been dealing with this shit that
there's been this massive thing in just being like hey we need to change the way
we have thought about everything for the last however many hundred of years it's not
about the individual anymore it's about making sacrifices for the
people around you it's about being considerate, it's about choosing, you know, the safety of
others over your own personal desires, the world's going to become weird, it's going to be
hard, but hey, if we all make these sacrifices, we will get through this together.
And that's what it's all about.
It's about community, it's about trust, it's about generosity, it's about patience. It's it'll be a really beautiful moment for all of us to finally prioritize
These things over anything else
Cops will still be cunts though
Yeah, everyone do those things except for cops because cops are cunts and you can't change that just be the same as you were before. Yeah, you just have to deal with the fact that cops are cunts unilaterally across the board. They can't be reformed. They're all bastards. Nothing will change. Just the same. Just the same. Just the same. Just the same. Just the same. Just the same. Yeah. Just the same. Yeah. Just the same. Yeah. Just the same. Just the same. Just the same. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. Just. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same. Just the same same. Just the same. Just. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the same. the deal with the fact that cops are cunts unilaterally across the board they can't be reformed they're all bastards they can't be trusted nothing will
change it but everybody else completely change your behavior please thank you
very much it's great it's fucking great
the Brisbane Times can reveal the police access checking details as part of an
investigation into the reported theft of an officer's gun and taser from a regional pub both of which are believed to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their their. their their. their. their. their. their their their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the ththeft of an officer's gun and taser from a regional
pub.
Both of which are believed to have been stolen on the night of the first state of origin
game from a locked room in the Miriam Vale Hotel about 450 kilometers north of Brisbane.
It has led to calls from Queensland's privacy and human rights commissioners for the
state government to keep its word, and ban the use of data for all the contact tracing purposes. Oh, ah. Oh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their tase of ta, ta, ta, and ta, and ta, and ta, and to calls from Queensland's privacy and human rights commissioners for the state government to keep its word and ban the use of data for all the
contact tracing purposes. Oh there's nothing politicians love more than
standing up to the Queensland police. Oh yeah and I'm always locking my gun
and tase are away in a pub on state of origin night. Well you don't want to have it on you
because you know fucking have you guys got a room that I could block my gun in.
You just thumb in the little loop on top of your gun open and being like
oh you South Wales gets one more try you fucking sees what happens to you
cunts. But they need those guns though right to police coronavirus. I love going to the airport and having like 70 police there to make sure that that that that that that that that that that that th that th th th th th that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the the the the the the the the the thu thu thu thum the the the their thu their their th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th the the th th the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the airport and having like 70 police there
to make sure that nobody has the coronavirus.
And they all have their guns just in case someone does have the coronavirus.
It's very easy for you.
From your fucking position of privilege to sit here.
And you know what, imagine if it was your grandma's at the airport.
Yeah, and she's got coronavirus.
There's a single molecule of coronavirus heading directly for her mouth as she's taking a deep
breath in, and you're saying you wouldn't want a member of the Queensland Police Service
there to fire his gun and hit that molecule of the coronavirus.
Oh, you would fucking latte,that you fucking latte, fucking,
fucking, you know?
I do know.
And firing a gun in the airport, probably not going to hit anybody.
Wow.
Famously empty places.
Yeah, well, they are at the moment because of coronavirus.
A lot of cops there, though.
Yeah, tarn of them.
Won't some brave soul step forward and shoot this coronavirus out of the air.
We're all saying it.
Take a stand. You want to grab a gun.
Yeah.
The closest holster you can find.
Yeah. And remember you paid for that gun with your taxpayer dollars.
So it's technically yours.
Just shoot until you hit the coronavirus. I've heard it's sort of like a... I'm sorry I can't think of a real-world
analogy of this at all. It's like when there's aliens and if you kill the main
one all of them die. Yeah. Star Wars of the the one you take out the
droid control ships, you know. And so just do that with coronavirus. Thank you very much.
Why do we waste time with the vaccines when we could have taken a gun-based approach to all of this?
I probably would have preferred like a vampire type analogy. I think that would. Oh yeah and all of these,
yeah, that's that's a good one. They're all they're all- You gotta take out the head vampire, right?
Yeah.
That's how it works.
So, um, hey.
Pick your own analogy that you prefer the most out of those provided.
That's right.
So, you know, could, could be any analogy that you're like,
where did this police officer's gun go?
It's disappeared disappeared disappeared vampire and a reflection.
Stolen, from the room he locked it in, didn't you?
He's stolen, he locked it up.
He looked it up, so safe.
Very clearly, locked it up in the pub somewhere.
Uh, that's what I clearly remember doing, he told all of the other cops who were like,
where's your fucking gun?
Response to a series of questions from this masthead, Queensland police said the hotel
investigation was the sole time officers had accessed the data, which they had legal capacity.
Just once, what could it hurt? But they were now being directed not to except in
extraordinary circumstances approved by a deputy commissioner. So nowhere in that sentence were like consequences or anything like that.
No, that's not a thing for police around here.
Okay, cool, just checking.
We can go on.
Yeah.
Uh, not, it's not the type of thing we're used to seeing around here.
We wouldn't want anyone to get shocked or scared.
You know how there's like two sets of physical laws that govern the universe. The primary one for most of us is that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction and for cops for every
action. You have completed the action. That action is done. Yeah. So this is despite a joint
media release from Perrier Anastasia Palishe and three of her ministers in late March
announcing the app would start becoming mandatory
and that the data collector would quote only be used for contact tracing purposes.
Well, they were trying to trace something.
I thought they had contacted at one point.
Uh-huh. Imagine you've lost a gun and you've looked really hard.
Oh, jeez. Oh, I wish I knew where this firearm of mine was. You've gone to the pub for state of origin on work time.
You've taken your work gun, your work laptop probably, just to get some emails done.
And wouldn't you know, the darn thing's just gotten away from you?
You remember that thing from maybe, I'm going to say three years ago of a guy who was an
FBI agent who was at a wedding
and he was in the dance for it, he did a backflip and then his gun fell out of his
wife's belt of his pants and then fired into the crowd and then it was captured on video.
No way of knowing what happened. He does the universal, hey don't worry about it,
gesture everyone around him grabs the gun, hey don't worry about it gesture everyone
around him, grabs the gun and puts it back in his pants. Ah, the burden of power.
So anyway, the mystery was solved the next day when the unloaded firearm was found
during a quote more detailed search of the pub, a police spokesman said in a statement.
Now, when they say more detailed search, do you imagine that what they mean is looking around
for the first time?
I think having a man's look the first time, am I right?
A bloody girlie look the second time?
Well, they probably wouldn't have had that much time to look for it, what with, you know, having a check with the contact, trace first first first first first the first the first the first the first their their their their their their their tracacetetet, their their their their their their their their their their their their theateateateateatement theatheir thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they thi. they they they they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, theateateateateateateateateatea. teateateatea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. thea. thea. time. Well, they probably wouldn't have had that much time to look for it, what with, you know,
having a check with contact, tracing data, etc.
Yeah, right.
It was probably also, it might have helped that they weren't like seven pines deep the
second time around while they were looking for it.
Yeah, yeah. And also that he probably wasn't just back at home, you know, taken taken taken taken tha, tha, tha, tha, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that, that, that, that that that that that that he's, that, that, that, they, their, their, their, their, their, they, they, they, they. they. So, they. So, they. So, they. So, they. So, they. And, they. And, that, that, that, that, they. And, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thiii's that, that, that, that, they.taking his pants off to get into bed when he's like, wait,
fuck, fuck, fuck.
I knew I forgot something.
Taser, shit.
Better check everyone's contact tracing data.
Did I say forgotten?
I mean stolen.
I got pickpocketed by someone who took both of my service weapons off me while I was
standing at the pub.
Police are on the hunt for Aladdin.
It's just...
They haven't found the taser.
Oh boy. It's just, they haven't found the taser.
No, the taser is still loose, which is awesome.
Although they say that the taser was unloaded.
Like, I guess it means it doesn't have a little pack of the barbs or whatever in it,
but it's a very funny phrasing to me that I've never heard someone be like, oh that taser is loaded.
That is a live taser.
It just wouldn't work if it wasn't loaded, right?
I wouldn't deploy anything.
You know that like, I think, there's a guy in where the fuck Miriam veil is just firing off
endless taser rounds to his friend's balls when they're drunk on a Friday night. They're like, hey, Gaz, you couldn't fucking handle being tased in the balls.
I fucking could, fuckin' taasty balls.
Ah, fucking you wouldn't, I fucking would.
And this is going to happen every Friday night for the next seven years.
Yep.
Most tased balls, I could, Gwyslaid Queensland belongs to a man named Gaz. Oh boy.
Well...
Anyway, where was the taser?
Did they find it?
No, they haven't found it.
Investigations into the missing taser, which was also unloaded, are ongoing.
It could, it could be anyway, really.
And we will be blaming just some random member of the public. Yeah.
Yep. And it's good that they accessed our data and they were right to do so and they should
do it more often. No please. They accessed our data and I'm gesturing to me and Theo. That was
my fucking precious data. That's true. And if you don't want them to access your data,
then I'm kind of just shrugging my shoulders here. Well I wouldn't I would th say th say that th say that that that that that that th say that that that th th th th th th say th say that th th say that's th say th say tho I wouldn't say that's tho tho tho tho tho tho that that the the the. Yeah tho. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi thi thi thi thi thi theeeee. Yeah. Yeah, thi's thi's thee. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.'t want them to access your data then I'm kind of
just shrugging my shoulders here. Well I wouldn't say it but well oh you you
don't want the cops to steal your data and yet you participate in society.
Very curious. Very curious. Oh you want to use a phone.
La-da. La-da. want to use a phone. La-Di-Dah.
Congratulations to you. Speaking of La-D-Di-Dar.
Speaking of La-D-D-Dah, this is the story I enjoyed very much.
I've also enjoyed Ben's title of this story, which I will read out.
Pick behind the curtain, it says,
There's no.
Champagne from my real friend.
Real Champanskia from my sham friends.
That will be funny soon.
You'll get it later.
Thank you so much.
Oh, this is so good.
Some Reuters. Russia forces the French to call champagne sparkling wine reserves
Champagne scoia for a local bubbly.
That's so cool.
It's so cool.
She's fucking boss for their furilly.
France's champagne industry is up in arms after Russia enacted a new law forcing producers
from the champagne region to label their bubbly sparkling wine while allowing domestic
producers to continue to sell to sell champagne scooguil.
The law signed by Russian President Vladimir Putin on Friday requires all foreign producers
of sparkling wine
to describe their product as such on the back of the bottle, though not on the
front while makers of Russian champanskier may continue to use that term alone.
Oh, it's so good. This is amazing because like the whole thing.
It operates on like a gentleman's agreement, right? That people like what we must respect the tradition, obviously this has been produced in the whole thing. He's up to. It operates on like a gentleman's agreement, right?
The people like, well, we must respect tradition, obviously.
This has been produced in the finest of ways.
We can only call champagne from the champagne region of France.
And they're just coming to be like, nah.
Fucking in.
How's the champagne.
You're just a sparkling wine.
Yeah, from now on, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the on, the thing we produce is champagne, and you've got pussy water, so...
Oh, you're setting me another crate of your finest bitch juice?
Tremendous.
About 120 countries respect France's appellation to the champagne to the champagne to sparkling wines
made under specific conditions in the champagne designation to sparkling wines
made under specific conditions in the champagne region.
The French Champagne Industry Group called on its members to halt all shipments to Russia
for the time being.
You mad?
Yes.
Oh, it's so funny.
They're like, no more champagne to Russia until
we get this sorted out.
Oh my god, the Champagne committee deplores the fact that this legislation...
Hold on, hold on, this is a direct quote.
Can you at least do the accent?
Yeah, sorry, you gotta...
I don't know if I can do a French one.
Definitely this will not be the first time.
. And definitely this will not be the first time. I can't do a French one.
Andrew?
Here we go.
The champagne committee deplos the facts of this legislation does not ensure that Russian
consumers have a clear and transparent information about the origins and characteristics
of wine.
Maxime Tuba and Jean-Marie Berlaire, the group's co-presidents, said in a statement.
Oh boy, French trade minister Frank Rista said he was tracking the new Russian law closely
and was in contact with the wine industry and France's European partners.
Is this guy French?
He is also French, yes.
He sure is.
We will unfailingly support our producers and French excellence.
He said on Twitter.
Oh, Moet Hennessy, the French maker of Verve Clucco and Dom Perignan Champaigns
said on Sunday it would begin adding the designation sparkling wine
to the back of bottles of Moet and
Dom Perignon destined for Russia to comply with the law.
Oh, that is so funny.
Their shares have been down.
Shares in Russian sparkling wine maker, Abraud Durso were up more than 3% after rising
as much as 7.77% in early trading.
Pavel Titov, the president of Abrao Durso, told Radio France International his firm did not
have any sparkling wines that would be called champagne in its portfolio.
He said he hoped the issue would be resolved in favor of global norms and standards.
It is very important to protect the Russian wines in our market, Mr. Titov said.
But the legislation must be reasonable and not contradict common sense.
I have no doubts that the real champagne is made in the champagne region of France.
Boring.
B.H.
I don't want to hear it.
Someone's got a case of old polonium poisoning coming up.
Oh my goodness.
Hey, this guy was shot dead on a bridge.
No way of knowing how it happened to why.
Don't ask any questions.
No way to know.
The European Commission said the Russian law would have a considerable impact on wine exports and said it would do all it could could to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to the the to the the their their their their theoleoleoleoleole the the theoleole to theolome thoomeolomea. Someone's thioleoleolomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeomeome thiolome tholome tholome tholome tholome to know. The European Commission said the Russian law would have a considerable impact on wine exports
and said it would do all it could to express its disagreement and concern.
We will do everything necessary to protect our rights and take the necessary steps if this
law enters into force. European Commission spokeswoman Miriam Garcia Ferrer said.
She sort of had her hands on her hips the whole time, sort of frowning.
He did for sure.
Shaking her head.
Ask what countermeasures the European Union could take in response to the Russian law.
She said it was premature to discuss such a situation.
They're going to fart into all the champagne.
The champagne are the champagne are the champonskier.
Oh, this is just so funny.
That's right.
Because French people love this shit.
French people love being precious.
You know, there were so many problems with Australia.
Like as a people, as a country, we have a bunch of horrible hang-ups.
We're awful, we're horrible fucking people, by and large, but at least we're not European.
Like this shit where they're like, oh, these eels, they were harvested two weeks too early
to really be called eels.
We would kill you for suggesting that's our eels.
Like it's just the fucking best.
That's so good.
You know, for all of Putin's horrible, horrible crimes,
at least you can say this is quite funny.
This is a boss move.
Putin, you get to shoot down one more passenger airline.
Let's take your pick.
On balance.
He does have the soul of a poster.
Mmm. God bless. God bless you, Vladimir Putin.
That is a very serious position of this entire podcast.
To former FSB agent, Vladimir Putin. To former FSB agent,
Cumb, President, a man who has bald-facedly assassinated several of
his political opponents right yeah good on you well done mate also outlawed
acknowledging queer people anywhere in the country
good don't like that good good the bullying of the French
yeah well you should be more bullying of the French. Yeah, well.
You should flip it around.
I mean, he's doing the bullying, I wish I could do to the French, but I don't have that
because I'm not the, you know, the head of state of a large nation that could do this.
Yet.
And I've tried to be.
What if he flipped it? And he got the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole the whole.... the whole the whole the whole the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. the whole. to. to. to. to. to. to. tool, tool, tooling. tooling. tooling. tooling. tooling. tooling. told. told. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the that. that. that. that. the that. the that. that. the the that. the the the the the that.ol. the the the the the the the tried to be. What if he, what if he flipped it and he got rid of
the whole, you're not allowed to acknowledge anybody as gay or anything?
And it was just you're not not allowed to acknowledge that France exists.
Oh my god it would be so good. Just like someone was like, hello my name is Francois.
I'm from the Western Bronin's France.
It's lovely to meet you. Oh, you're from Western Russia.
Oh, that's so interesting.
You must try our Champonskia.
You're from Russia. You're German?
Oh, I have so many things to show you. We have so many wonderful cheeses here.
You're going to love them.
Champinscho is absolutely delightful as to die for... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, to, to, to, to, to, to please, to please, to please, to please, to please, to please, to please, to please, th, th, th. th. thi, thi, to thi, to to to to to thi, it, it's thi, it's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to meet, it. It, it. It, it. It, it. It, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, to me. It. It. It. It. It. It's to me. It's thi. It's thi. It's thiole, the, the. It's thease. It's theolou-a'erooooooooome. It's tooome. It's tooome. It's tooome, tooer is absolutely delightful as to die for...
No please, I'm from Regional France!
Oh, you're Polish!
Oh, that's so interesting.
None!
Everyone are looking very suspiciously of their colleague when he says they have to get out of here
and see his mistress on the way home.
Hmm. Report him to the secret line.
Hey, this loaf of bread you baked seems awfully long and narrow.
Oh dear.
Hey, I think we have time just before we go for another installment of Theo C's. the segment where Theo tells us about a dream that he had induced to him by the drug effects
or partially his own psyche. We actually had someone send an email in telling you to get
off effects or. Why? Now this person has had a very bad experience with effects on
which I absolutely respect I've had a bad time with some medications myself.
Oh, 100%.
I would say probably don't tell someone that you just know from a podcast what to do with
their medication.
Hey, real quick, just give yourself discontinuation syndrome if you can.
I mean, this is more or less what they were describing has happened to them was that their discontinuation syndrome was very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very....... I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, th. th. I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. I, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, I, I, I, I, I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, the. I'm, the. I'm, thea. I'm, thea. I'm, thea. I'm, thea. I'm, thea. I'm, thea. I'm, thea. I'm happened to them was that their discontinuation syndrome was very very bad and I sympathize with that a lot
but I am going to and theyo this is just something I feel about you about you
I'm gonna let you make these choices about your body yourself thank you so
thea thia' to their own I's absolutely bonkers dreams and then I use the book sorry very normal dreams
if you're Theo I use the book 10,000 dreams interpreted by Gustavus Hyman Miller
to interpret the meaning of those dreams Theo would you please recount for us one of your dreams
absolutely and this is convenient for me because
several of my therapists past present and potentially future know about the podcast now. So if you're listening to this this will save you some time.
Everyone out there is a potential therapist. I feel like we could cut the middle man out of these so easy.
I think so. Okay. That's a dream I had on the evening of the 4th of July 2021.
I was doing work from my old bedroom at the end of Dad's house, as I often am in my dreams.
And I was way behind on producing an initial draft on designing a train station across
the road from Epworth Hospital in Melbourne.
I had to give my draft to a guy at my workplace who's super intimidating to me for review.
But now when I look back at it, I can see issues.
The train lines should be snug all the way to the top of the block, but they're not.
And they merge into one line when they leave the station, which would be terrible for
throughput and signaling.
Now when I zoom in on the lines represented in orange neon wire frame, they're too wide
and instead of trains they have little spidery bugs travelling on them, or maybe the bug
coasters from roller coaster one.
I have another go at that.
Maybe the bug coasters from roller coaster tycoon one.
At any rate, I need to get into work to deliver these.
So I take a big weight in each hand and
start running to work along the eastern side of the Pacific Motorway through South Brisbane.
There's a bus station sort of off to the side that I often find myself going to in dreams,
so I run towards it along, service roads and the like.
As I go along, I'm constantly frightened by cars veering around corners too quickly, without indication.
Now I have to do this little game of chicken with them to work out which side I need to move to avoid them.
Instead of the bus station, I eventually find myself running into a train station.
From the inchy way, everyone's funneled through a corridor to get to the platforms.
At this point, I'm jostled from behind.
I expect to discover that my my my my my to discover the wallet my wallet my wallet my wallet to discover the wallet the wallet the wallet tholetetetetetet my wallet to discover the the the to the to discover that my wallet has been stolen from my
back pocket, but instead a second wallet has been planted in my pocket. I talked to station
security about this painstakingly explaining that no, I did not steal this wallet and some
urchin placed it on me. I replay the event a few times with some variations.
Eventually there's a lady there who tells me the wallet belongs to her husband who works with me. We spend some time confused about each other's story details. I
proceed to the train station which is outdoors and the platform is sort of ruined marble and
nulled wire bars overtaken in places with lush growth. I'm on the wrong platform
and the train is on the other platform about to leave, but every path that I take ends in some pile of marble bricks or twisted wire.
I'm on the train, but it's constructed such that there's a single line, and I spend
some time working out how they would deal with two trains coming from either direction, wanting
to travel and who gets priority. We're almost at the next station but another train, the train, but to to to their, their, their, to another train, their, their, their, their, their, tho, tho, thr-and, tha, their, tha, their, tha, their, their, their, their, tha, thaui. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the. So. So. So. So. So. Some, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, train, and train, and train, and thea, is their.a, and the.eto travel on this line, so we need to reverse the train to the previous station so that it may pass.
At work now in a tutorial room and the tutor says that he has important news and that such
and such whose wallet I have and who I am tracking down has died.
I ask him, what did you just say?
And he repeats that such and such has received a promotion and will be leaving the company. I'm in the nosebleed seats at the opera, walking around, talking to people from work
and trying to make sense of things.
They notice that I'm confused
and the dream is starting to take on an unstructured
post-modern disassociation.
I say, yes, it's the effects,
or please don't think too harshly of me. into the washroom, which has big flat shiny tiles reflecting green glow from the room beyond.
It's unisex and there are also toilets here with no walls which everybody is using.
Everyone is smiling and having a normal time.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, thank you so much for sharing, as always.
I love this inside into your mind, as I love learning about you in any fashion.
I have these dreams and I just write them down.
We're going to start with train.
Gustavus tells us that seeing a train in your dream,
to see a train of cars moving in dreams, you will soon have cause to make a journey. To be on a train, and it appears appears to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a to make a journey. To be on a train and it appears
to move smoothly along though there is no track denotes that you will be
much worried over some affair with which you will eventually prove a source of
profit to you. To see freight trains in your dreams. I don't believe we
did. These were passenger trains, right? So let's skip over the dream. To find yourself in a dream on top of a sleeping car? No, we we we we we we we we we we th. to to to to to to to th. the th. th. their to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to thi thi will thi to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. the will to th. to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is th is th is th. th. th. th is th. th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi will will will thi will thi will thi will the the will be theeeeananan. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thra, we can avoid that entirely. Next up I have wallet.
To see wallets in a dream foretells burdens of a pleasant nature will await your discretion as to assuming them.
I could not tell you. An old or soiled one implies unfavorable results from your labors.
Well, it didn't appear... It was a nice wallet.
It was like, oh, well, that's...
That's great news.
Look forward to pleasant burdens.
Pleasant burdens.
It's like a small child, maybe.
Oh, no.
Oh.
Oh, no.
Hmm.
It's nice.
Finally I have here, according to Gustavis, what to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to Gustavus, what it means if you see an opera in your dreams. Oh, ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
Uh, to dream of attending an opera denotes that you will be entertained by congenial friends
and find that your immediate affairs will be favorable.
Oh, everything's working out so well for me.
Well, these all sound quite good. There are a few things in there that were too for me to look up. I believe you mentioned, was it the M3?
The M1?
Yeah, it's not in there?
What would it be at that stage?
Whereabouts were you, sorry?
Sort of like, let's say, like green slopes?
the M1?
Let's say, like green slopes? The M1 area there? That'd be. That's, the M. the M. the M. the M. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. the M- th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. Yeah. the M- th. th. th. th. the M- th. the M- the M- the M- the M- the M- the M- the M- the M- the M- the M- the M. the M. the M. motorway. Oh that's the M1. Yes you're on the M1 at that
point yeah it's not that's not in there. No the M1 it's not. M3's in there but yeah
yeah it's a shame about the gateway.
Hmm. Hey there Ben here. Yeah just a mind a question on this one, I actually got that the wrong way around.
The M3 is the stretch of the Pacific Motorway from the CBD all the way to eight mile planes, which obviously encompasses the part that takes you through green slopes. I'll be the first
would admit that I'd had a couple of beers before recording this episode and that I get that wrong.
And I apologize. Sorry. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day or if you're just starting out your day.
I hope you have a lovely day. Yeah, talk soon. Bye.
That has been the segment. F.O.C.C.s.
Thank you so much. This sounds quite good for you.
Yeah, things are going well.
Yeah.
Still, it's still a toilet in that dream,
but we'll whittle those down.
Yeah, I don't know if we need to look up toilet every time. I dream about the toilet often when I need to go to the toilet, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to go to the toilet, you know? Oh, that could be a... You certainly not some bunch of hang-ups that I always dream that
I just can't find the toilet. I have like 10 dreams in a row that I can't find the toilet
and then I just wake up and I had to pee. I had a dream last night that I pissed myself and then I would worry when I woke up that I would have pissed myself that I w w w w w w w w w w w pissed myself the that I w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w w pissed myself that I wa that I wa that I wa that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have th that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have that I would have th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the to to to to thi thi to to thi thi to to thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi do. I do get that from time to time, so. How good's that relief?
Woof, haven't pissed myself.
Kissing yourself.
Oh, it feels good.
And then you get up to go and take a piss.
And then you wake up again.
And then you're like, God, this is good.
I wish I could piss. I kept having dreams that I was drinking Tropical Punch. And I was like, God, this is good.
And then I wake up and I'm like, oh, I'm quite thirsty.
I wish I could drink something.
But it's too cold to go out to the camp table on which my water is.
And I fall asleep, dream about Tropical Punch.
God, I love some tropical punch.
Me too.
This part, guys, brought to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to you to to too. Sweet, sweet, sweet tropical punch. This podcast, brought to you by Mildura Tropical Punch.
Oh, I love a Mildura.
Yeah.
I don't even know if they have a tropical punch.
I feel like they've got a tropical juice flavor.
Oh, they got apple and guava.
It's like that's a good one.
Mildura, tropical fruit drink, I believe they call it.
It's not juice, it's not juic.
It's not punch, it's not juice, whatever it is.
I crave the taste of it.
This episode is brought to you by Mildura.
I believe, based in Mildura.
Hmm. Wouldn't that be a weird coincidence?
That'd be strange.
Well, I think that's a podcast.
I think that's a podcast.
We've officially finished a podcast.
That's what's up.
God damn.
And we love to see it.
Thanks to stopping by everybody.
Uh, you know, if you have any unwanted medical
advice for Theo just right in to mail bag at Buntavista.com and we'll shoot
that one into the spam folder on purpose I think. If you think it's time he started
getting his prostate exams let us know send them into the mail bag at
Budavista.com. I don't know what age is supposed to start those but I assume I'm too young and it's I'm too young too I'm too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too to to to to too to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too too too too too too too too too too too too too the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toe. toe. I'm toe. I'm't know what age you're supposed to start those, but I assume I'm too young and it's,
I never even have to think about it, so.
Well, that's it everybody.
We'll see you next week.
Bye.
I was actually kind of hoping that one of you Andrew would tell me. Andrew maybe because you're the oldest.
Yeah, I'm 39 this year and every now and then I'm like,
hey, you want to check this out?
And they say, sir, please, please pull your pants up.
Close the door of my office.
So the doctor will see you now.
The doctor will see you now. The doctor will see you now.
Um, my, one of my grandparents died of bowel cancer before I was born.
So we're all a bit, hey, let's check that shit out.
So I, I've borne it up with doctors and they're like, eh, it's probably fine.
One of my grandparents beat bowel cancer, so so I don't know if it's competition.
Mmm, okay.
Wow.
Wow, we're gonna finish this one on a sour note.
Okay.
Can't wait to get to heaven until my... So this is a grandmother I never met.
She fucked up.
My goodness.
Well that's it folks.
And we'll see you.
Bye-bye. the