Boonta Vista - EPISODE 21: Diap Hard With A Vengeance
Episode Date: October 25, 2017Everyone's on deck we as detail conservative self-owns from Barnaby Joyce's marital strife to Pauline Hanson's murder tape. We also dip into some stellar examples from their counterparts in the US. ...We've also given a peek behind the scenes by not editing out all of our fucking around, which allows you to get a few minutes of Ben's very best stand up material. You're very welcome. Support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista Don't forget to rate & subscribe on iTunes if that's your thing. _____________________________ Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista iTunes: tinyurl.com/y8d5aenm Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/s?fid=144888&refid=stpr Pocket Casts: pca.st/SPZB RSS: tinyurl.com/kq84ddb Ear Buds Network: http://earbudsnetwork.com
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello Australians, if you are seeing me now, it means I have been murdered.
Earbuds, Melbourne'sist Club, episode 21.
I'm Andrew, and I'm joined by Theo.
Yellow.
From all the way across this pond, the pond I've been reading about.
The one pond.
We are joined by Ben.
I think doesn't the pond traditionally refer to the Atlantic?
No.
Okay, all right, yeah, sure.
Hello.
Let's not get into it.
The body of water, hi Ben.
And if I'm to understand correctly, extremely hungover, we have here, Lucy.
That's me, hello.
Good day.
How you feeling? How are you feeling?
How's you're feeling?
I did some spewing but I'm here didn't want to have all these
men on that podcast alone just talking alone talking about women and how
they be shopping hmm they do I have noticed that they do be shopping
for fuck sake
this is why I have to be well yeah well how do you feel now that you know that you
the one to introduce the
concept of shopping and whether women be doing it?
Ooh, damn, I really was.
Let's move on from this.
Hashtag, fake feminist, as friend of the show, Daisy Cousins would say.
Yeah, she would.
Speaking of conservative dickheads. I've just awoken this morning to a bit of a
bit of fun news about what appears to be. Deputy Prime Minister Bidbey
Joyce getting caught in an extra marital affair.
Whoa I didn't see this yet. What? What's that real? Welcome to the news? Welcome to the news, everybody.
Well, there was an article a couple of days ago by Sher? Welcome to the news, everybody.
Well, there was an article a couple of days ago by Sherry Markson in the Daily Telegraph
about some kind of dirty game being played against Barnaby Joyce and its personal life in some
way that could very majorly affect his family.
A lot of, a lot of sort of vague references to stuff
but no details and it appears to be coming out at the moment that Barnaby
Joyce has been engaged in some big extra-married or fair and has been thrown
out of home by his wife. Which of course has raised the debate in
Australian political circles with journalists and
stuff about whether or not a politician's personal life is fair game. I think
it is. I think it is when he's a very vocal no voter. Yeah well that's that's
kind of the argument of the moment is like if you're making a very vocal public
campaign against other people's rights to marry based on
you know some ideas of the the sanctity of traditional marriage and how important
secure marriages are and all that sort of stuff while you happen to at the same time be railing
some lady. Yeah.
Kind of makes you look a bit full of shit. I don't think he's railing her. I don't see that body doing any railing.
Imagine the color he goes.
Oh my god.
Just imagine.
Huffing and puffing and getting all like bright red.
Exhausted.
He turns like deep beetroot red when he's just kind of raising his voice.
Um, so yeah, I can't even begin to imagine the colors, the shades that he goes. I'm always secretly scared that that his deep face rending is like some horrible medical condition and that like millions of times I've made fun of it are going to like make me look like the worst person alive.
Well, maybe it'll be that, maybe it'll be one of
one of the other many things you've said. Who knows? Just my actions as a person
that might do it. I just Google newsed Barnaby Joyce's name and the like the
top thing that comes up is an article in the Daily Tully from Sherry Marx
and framing it as in like, Vyto to be joyous battles vicious innuendo.
So, you know, obviously,
coming from someone writing for a news limited publication
about the idea of it being bad to prime to someone's personal life.
Yes.
Pretty ironic when the only thing they ever do is pick,
seemingly at random,
generally private citizens in Australia and then try
and demolish them into the ground by doing exactly that.
Like, yeah, I mean.
There was the guy from Q&A, Duncan's story.
That's exactly who I was looking at.
And like, so that was, he was on Q&A and he said, hey, it's kind of crazy how they tax low-income people.
And then the first thing News Limited did was find his tax records and see how much tax he paid,
and then they got his son to talk about how much of a dead shit he is, and they just fucking
tried to ruin his life.
And then this, it's like, oh, some, you know, this is delving of the private life of someone who's very much a public figure and it's very much in the public interest, but still, you
know, it's bad when other people do it.
Yeah, and his actions, which have a sort of direct correlation to an argument that he is making
about public policy that will affect every person in the country. And yeah, it's just like you're saying, I mean, like,
that guy on Q&A, his one big crime was that he stood up in front of people and made a statement,
which was critical of the government.
Yep.
Yep.
And that immediately resulted in having his entire personal life played back to him.
And like you were saying, just a weeks-long campaign of just completely destroying this guy's, or whatever reputation he had had had, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, and th.... And, his, his th. And, his thi. And, his thi. And, his thi. And, his thi. And, his the, his the, his thi, his thi, his the, his the, his the, his th. And his th. And his th. And his th. His th. His, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his, his th. His th. His th. His th. His th. His th. And, his the, his the, his the, his the, his the, his the, the, the, the, the, the. And theeeeeeeeeeean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, theee. And the. And th him. And like you were saying, just a week's long campaign
of just completely destroying this guy's,
or whatever reputation he had,
and publicly airing every,
you know, a character defect of his and everything.
Yet somehow, we're all just supposed to say,
well, Barnaby Joyce is, he's a politician, so the stuff that he does in his own time
is just off the, you know, it's so the stuff that he does in his own time is just just off the you know it's off the radar which seems kind of dumb and shitty to me.
I think Australia has this massive problem with that sort of like almost like an old-world approach to
journalism about politicians like that where they're like oh we must stick to our code of honour of you know you can't approach their about politicians like that, where they're like, oh, we must stick to our code of honor of, you know, you can't broach their personal lives or whatever.
And the problem is that like, the press gallery journals and the politicians live in their own
tiny little designated city and all they do is hang out together and, you know, whatever, and they're all mates, like, there isn't this sense of antagonism to power that they should be?
That's what they're there for.
Well, I mean, I've certainly heard journalists in the past say as much to the effect of
like, not even that it's an old world thing of, oh, you know, politicians are allowed to
have private lives that we won't pry into, so much as, um, well, you know know we need to maintain relationships with
these people. If somebody has some sort of private thing that they don't want
getting out and a journalist finds out about it and tells everybody then no one's
ever going to talk to them about anything again. That it's just this
it's this symbiotic thing of oh well you know yeah we won't call
anything we won't call anything out because we don't want to be, we don't want
to be blacklisted or anything.
But it has the side effect, of course, of letting politicians be the ones in control of saying
whose personal actions outside of their public life are, you know, are worth discussing
or are noteworthy.
I think we just talked about this before, the, whatever the fuck it's called, it was
like the midwinter ball or whatever, which is that like it's the charity gala thing for
press gallery journals and politicians, and it was the one where Turnbull like made fun of Trump for like a solid
couple of minutes or whatever. And then someone posted the video
I can't remember what it was but like it was it was it like it was it was like I'm so the the the the the the the the the the the the the is off the record this is.
this is off the record this is you know like. this is off the record this is you know like. I can't remember how they phrase it was was was was was was was was was was was was was was like. the the the they was was like. the they was like. the they was like. the the they was they was the the the the the the the the the the same was the same was the same was the same. the same. It was th. It was th. It was th. It was th. I was like. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was. I was. I was. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was like. It was like. It was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I they phrase it. It was the same sort of deal.
They were acting like it was like muck-up day for politicians.
Yeah, which is not the day when you just get to do silly stuff and no one holds you responsible
for it.
But yeah, I completely agree in the sense that it's just very, very weird that politicians are
the ones in this country who get to say when something isn't able to be discussed discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed to be discussed the to be discussed the to be discussed.. the the ones in this country who get to say when something isn't
able to be discussed in public by a journalist. Yeah, absolutely. Very
unsettling. I think in this case you know you could certainly draw
parallels to those cases in like in the US where I can't remember the guy's
name but it was well there's certainly been plenty of cases of, you know, like evangelical,
right-wing Republicans railing against same-sex marriage before it was legalized there, and then
inevitably there is some story that comes out about these guys like feeding meth and
dick to their teenage aids and stuff and...
Well there was one very recently where a guy that was, you know, very pro-life,
so same same kind of, same kind of mold, where it came out that he had pressured his mistress into getting an abortion?
Hmm. Yeah, that's right, like, like just before voting as well to make like abortion criminalized or whatever it was.
Yeah, what was his name? I am at a loss.
But, uh, yeah, I think in all of those sorts of cases, those are things where if that was just
an event in that person's life in isolation, it would be one thing.
But when that person is out publicly, publicly saying, no member of the public should be able
to do this kind of thing while describing actions that they themselves participate in, it's a little
rich. Mmm, it's a spicy meatball, that they themselves participate in. It's a little rich.
Mmm, it's a spicy meatball, that's for sure.
It is a spicy meatball.
So you layer that onto Barnaby Joyce's
accidentally being a citizen of another country.
And Barnaby Joyce is wanting marriage, strong marriage for his daughters to protect them.
Yes.
That is weird.
But it's their marriages that he wants to be strong, not his apparently.
Can we just read that quote?
Because it's the most bad shit insane thing of the world. It just doesn't make any sense.
Have you? Have you got it there?
Have you got it there? Uh, I thought we would have been the notes we might not have.
Here folks, there's a little, little peek behind the curtains here, everybody.
Yeah, this is how, how, this is how the magic is made as I scroll back to my own Twitter.
Everybody, everybody copy and paste stuff.
Um, I don't want to go that.
It's all. I've done it, everybody. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. the. It tho. the. It doesn't. thea. It's. It's thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo done it all this out.
I've done it, folks.
I've done it, I've found it.
Oh, good.
I can't wait to edit this out.
Leave it in.
That's good.
It's going to sound seamless, guys.
It's going to sound...
It always does.
It sounds slick, smooth and greasy.
So, Barnaby Joyce here, speaking out against same-sex marriage because marriage is the
best protection.
So he's asked how his four daughters would be affected if same-sex marriage was allowed.
Quote, we know that the best protection for those girls is that they get themselves
into a secure relationship with a loving husband and I want that to happen for them.
I don't want any legislator to take that right away from me.
Wow.
Now, it's, what I was marbling at about this is that there is no way to attempt to interpret
this that is not like really, either completely misrepresentative of reality or incredibly
offensive to his own daughters.
I'm trying to, okay so there's two things here that need to be sensicalized.
The first is what his daughter's being projected from.
What he thinks the bill is going to do, is it making straight
marriage?
Because that thing, if it's taken away from him, I think he's assuming that straight
marriage is about to be made illegal.
It's made redundant.
Would you like to hear my interpretation?
This is my most solid interpretation at this point.
Yes.
No. interpretation at this point. Yes. Number one, sorry, sorry, there are two out of
three wins. So the protection thing, Barnaby Joyce thinks that we are
living in frontier times, I guess, and that we still live in a world where if a
young woman wants to have any form of security in her life, that she needs to get herself into a marriage,
so that a nice stockbroker can earn money and take care of her,
and she can stay at home.
As as Elna, my wife pointed out,
a marriage is actually the most dangerous place for a woman to be,
if you want to go off the statistics. Yeah it is.
So, but the second part though, I don't want any legislator to take that right away from
me.
I really like the phrasing around the from me.
Because it suggests that it's like his role to organize a marriage for his daughters.
I think actually see what this might be.
He might be alluding to the fact there could be some hidden things in the bill getting
rid of how it was previously legal to marry all four of your daughters.
I, no, I think, I wonder if the implication of that last sentence is that by allowing same-sex couples to get married that it
will cheapen or ruin the the you know the the the the you know the that's what I'm
looking for it'll it'll it'll cheapen or ruin the you know institution of
marriage to a point where no one will want to get married
anymore or it won't be important or matter and then his daughters won't get married and protect them.
It's too fagged up there.
So yeah, basically legislators are going to make marriage available to same-sex partners
that will ruin marriage, no one will want to get married anymore and then all his daughters
are going to be gross spinsters forever because imagine a woman being single.
All gay apparently.
Shocking. No, thank you.
Oh, poor Barnaby.
So yeah, there's been a lot of cell phones going on with Barnaby.
He's in a very, very precarious position.
Add to his citizenship thing and now this affair, which is apparently a great look for him.
You can add to those things the plummeting support for the National Party amongst rural people.
So apparently they've just been losing huge amounts of support,
shockingly because it's almost like the nationals just get elected
by default and then go along to Canberra and do whatever the liberals want to do, even
if it's hugely not in favor of national votes.
Just a bit of a farming version of it.
We're just going to, we're just going to farm that up.
Well, they were in a Kubra twice a year for photo opportunities and they have some RMs.
So you know.
I have worked out how they can improve the nationals support ratings now and that's too,
I think they need to rally the Liberal Party as a whole to continue producing incentives
for big budget movies to be made here, and then which will draw big budget stars and then they
can go and threaten to kill their dogs again. I think we saw a bit of a bump
after the the dog killing episode with Johnny Depp and you know maybe they can
repeat that magic. They could threaten to kill like Vincent Donofrio, what's Vincent?
Donofrio?
Vincent Donfrio is twin ferrets.
Vincent Don Fratio.
Vincent Don Frato the frog, and he's two ferrets.
Yeah.
So, you know, this, these incidents of conservatives owning themselves quite publicly, of course, there's
all of Malcolm Turnbull's prime initiative is one extremely extended showcase of self-ownage.
It's the rare self-cuck that he managed.
It's he. Put himself into a position of power just so that the cock could be greater.
Yeah, yeah.
So we thought we might do a little rundown of some conservative cell phones from Australian
from abroad to celebrate how well it's all going for conservatives at the moment.
I was thinking about dear friend of the show Pauline Hansen. Who is another person that frankly I would consider
her entire career in the public spotlight to be a massive constant cell phone.
Yeah it just it just never stops. Yeah I mean it's it's kind of wonderful
that the first time around her political career ended up with her going to jail.
So let's see what the future holds.
I'm quite excited.
Can she top it?
Can she top it?
Yeah.
You know, early in her career I was reminded recently of Pauline Hanson in her first Senate run.
Doing what we all do when we get that
big promotion that we've been thinking about, you know.
We've been angling for it for a while, we finally get in there and we know that the
haters are jealous, so we immediately get out of camera and record a message to people about
how if they are murdered they are to watch this tape.
We've all got one. It's extremely normal. In case I die autoerotically asphyxiating.
Do you have different ones for like different occasions? No, that's the only way I'm going to die.
So I've only done that one. Oh, I already know which way I'm dying.
Well, look, let me just play you a snippet of this tape here of the real gravitas in Pauline's voice.
Fellow Australians, if you are seeing me now, it means I have been murdered.
It's very presumptuous.
It is. It's very presumptuous. It is.
It's very presumptuous.
Oh God.
You think that somebody cares enough?
So why was she getting murdered?
Oh, I think she was just assuming that she was speaking truth to power in such an amazing way
that someone would probably front up and murder her shortly afterwards.
Wow.
There's like a very definitive conservative streak of people ascribing like the wrong kind of importance
to when millions of people call them an idiot.
Hmm. Like they, you know, it's the same thing when like, you know,
millions of people will call them a dip-shit for something they'll be like,
ah, this means they want me silence. So like, no one cares enough about you to try and
silence you. They're just calling you an idiot because you're an idiot. It's the same thing.
No one wants her dead. Well, I mean, no one is going to hire to to to hire want her to know that she's a dumb ass.
Yeah, I remember seeing somebody online saying something similar recently
where they were like,
every time all these people come out of the woodwork
and get mad at me and tell me to shut up,
just shows me that I'm right.
Like, what kind of social conditioning did you receive?
Like as a young person, as a person as a teen anything to come
to the conclusion that like a whole bunch of people shouting shut the fuck
up your opinions are wrong they're really stupid what sort of person heard that
kind of stuff growing up and went I got these motherfuckers now I could
tell how right I am by the, everyone's shouting that I'm wrong.
Yeah, it's the Miranda divine effect. Oh my God. Oh, well, look, we definitely have some examples from Miranda.
Although I will say that just to close that out, Pauline Hanson was asked about that, you know,
20-odd-year-old video recently on one of the god-awful shows, Sunrise,
that helped rehabilitate her image. Thanks very much, Sunrise.
Yeah, thank you.
Well, paying her no less.
Yes.
Yes, paying Pauline Hanson to give her time in the spotlight and rehabilitate her image,
so she could get back in and still be a big dumb joke. So she was asked about this
and what I really like is that on the chair on on the screen the headline is
Pauline Hanson too trusting question mark.
And so we're being asked about it this is her explanation. This is Pauline's explanation
of the video being released. He lied about that, saying that I knew and we agreed to have it
released. I ensured that a document was signed that it was never to be released. He did the wrong
thing by me and I'm embarrassed by it, but I had a price in my head at that
time.
You did not have a price on your head at that time.
Absolutely didn't.
Oh, I love it.
Conservatives love to make shit up.
They love it.
They really do.
Oh, like then were saying, just all these imagined, all these sort of like, yeah,
just the imagined importance of people going,
man, this person's a dip shit.
But they just make shit up all the time,
like, you know, my kid went to school
and he got told he has to sing rainbow sheep
and he can't say Merry Christmas.
Yes, yes, that's my favorite is the Can't say merry crissu th th th th th ththa thi thi thi thi thi thu thu thu thu thu favorite is the Can't Say Merry Christmas stuff. I love it. Oh, it's so good.
I would love to see an example of that. I mean, yeah, the last place I lived in Melbourne
was a very, very integrated suburb, like, wildly diverse population, October rolls around, fucking
Christmas trees and Merry Christmas shit everywhere.
Yep.
No one cares.
It's not a thing.
It's not a thing.
I just fucking, like my, the fucking, like the kebab shop around the corner from my
house is full of fucking like Merry Christmas stuff every time Christmas
all around it's like fucking all that shit is all up on the walls, all everywhere and these people are convinced that like Muslims are coming here and th... th. th. th. the to to to to to to to to the the to the to the the the the the to say. It's the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. It's th. It's thi. It's not thi. It's thi's thi's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the thr thrown the thrown the the the the the the thro the the the the ththe walls, all everywhere. And these people are convinced that like, Muslims are coming here
and that's the reason the government's forcing us never to say those two words again.
It's like, no one really cares.
It's not really like a point that you should be arguing.
You're like fucking 50 years old.
Why are you this angry about something not happening to Christmas?
They drive past that on their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their way to the shops and they're walking through the shopping center and they walk past the 12-foot Christmas tree with lights up the whole way and you know tinsel the whole
way through the shopping center and then they get to Woolies and it says you know wish your
family a happy holidays and they immediately drive all the way home to write a blog post on how Sharia
law is taken over. Pretty much, pretty much at this point.
Like Trump did his usual like,
it was like a week ago or something.
It was like, we're becoming a nation again
that says Merry Christmas.
Like, and people went nuts for it.
But is it, there's gonna be like a moment of self-interrogation where they're like,
oh, hang on. I've still been saying it this whole time. What's he bringing back? But there's never that.
It's just...
We all remember the bad days under Obama when it was illegal to say, Merry Christmas, you
couldn't gender your child.
You know, there weren't allowed any trans people in bathrooms and diapers were outlawed.
I still remember all the stories of people being sent
to holiday camps.
Having said, for having uttered the dread phrase, but luckily those times are gone.
Speaking of Sharia law, we also had Pauline's incredibly, incredibly stupid Berker stunt in the Senate, which
we talked about a little while ago when that happened.
Hugely, hugely moronic, but it had the even worse side effect of allowing Attorney General
George Brandis to rinse her in the Senate and make himself sound like a compassionate,
reasonable human in Paris.
To slither his horrible greasy body up into the high ground.
Yep.
And make people think that he was, he was okay, even though he is, you know, one of the
people who spends all his time propping up our little refugee and termit camps.
So, you know, when that guy gets to say,
man, you're being pretty mean to the Muslims
and everyone agrees with them.
Yeah, don't mind.
Don't look north of the coast or anything like that.
Yes, do not, do not ever do that.
My favorite thing about the Berker incident was, was it Nick McKim
who saw, you know, what looked like a woman
in a Berker in Parliament House with a bunch of like security guards standing around her
looking antagonistic? So he like went up to her and shook her hand as like a sign of support,
not realizing that it was Pauline Hanson. Yeah, God forbid that someone be nice to a Muslim
person, you know, in Australia.
Disgusting, terrible.
Well, I'm trying to remember what Pauline Hanson thought that kind of in fact.
She was like, see, even he didn't know it was me.
Yeah.
Well, about the Nick McKim thing, she was like, even he didn't know it was me.
And yeah, he was like, oh, I just thought it was some lady and I was trying to be nice to her and if I had known it was her I
would have thought of to fuck off. So you know it's very done. We have a we have
our other beloved friend of the show Corey Bernardi on the Australian Front.
He's had some classics like his recent move to leave his actual political party that he was in with claims that he was going the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho's tho's tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thoo' thooo' tho' to to thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tho tho tho tho th like his recent move to leave his actual political party that he was in with claims that he was going
Devastate the establishment with his own conservative party, which turned out to just be his
His like male chimp subscriber list
Which it turns out is not a political party
So that was a good move for him. He's really sort of, he's
taken himself from a position where like he got to mouth off about whatever
idiotic shit he wanted and everybody had to pay attention because he actually
held, you know, held a vote and some influence in a party which, which did not have a
huge majority. And now that he's removed himself to go off and do his conservative thing, he's, he's, I saw a thing where he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's th. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, th.. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, t. He's, t. t. ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, t go off and do his conservative thing, he's, I saw a thing where he was complaining to the media a while ago where he was like,
yeah, journalists all don't want to talk to me anymore.
Everybody used to listen to me and give me all this airtime and all of a sudden,
I'm being silenced.
And it's like, you deliberately took yourself out of a position of influence and now everybody's really glad they don't have to talk to you. Well yeah, and also like all the journalists have to divide their time between, you know,
all the other like single person single issue parties, you know, like George Fox Motoring Party and
the please stop throwing trash into my front yard specifically party. Yeah, so there's a lot
a lot of people they have to come up. Yeah, so there's the adult type of fetishist respect party. Yeah.
So that was a really good cell phone for Corey just sidelining himself
politically which have enjoyed. And then as we have referred to previously, there was
the very strange anecdote from him when he was on his UN posting in America during the election
campaign as he gleefully recalled, going to Starbucks, ordering coffee
and saying his name was Trump, so they would have to put it on the coffee cup and call it out.
And then when they would call it out, he would just stand there and listen and not go and
get his cup of coffee. Which...
And owned lips. Yeah, take that. Now I get to look like a fuckwit and not have my coffee.
Take that. Imagine being that poor person who's just working in Starbucks and you just don't deal with shit like that all day.
Yeah, just looking at the cup like, uh,
called it out four times and nobody shows up for it yet.
The only like proper response to that is to look at it, yell the word turnip one time and then throw it on the floor.
Trunk.
But his most recent wildly spectacular cell phone was getting himself very, very worked up about a charity fundraiser
at a school for the one-girl charity which is if if I recall correctly is about
raising funding for education of girls in like African countries is that?
That is correct, yep. Right ballpark. So so the concept of this thing is it's like, it's like, it's like, it'sthat? That is correct, yeah. The right ballpark?
So the concept of this thing is it's like, it's just like fucking, you know,
jeans for jeans day or like wear a Hawaiian shirt to work day
or whatever the fuck.
It's come to school in a dress and do everything in a dress all day. Corey Banadi was outraged because he described it, he described trying to get boys to wear
dresses in school as, quote, gender morphing.
Which while, you know, not, well A, that's not what the campaign is about and B, it is
also not a thing.
Actually, I think you'll find it's like a 30 long book series by K Applegate. Morphin time.
Mighty gendermorphing power ranges was a show when I was a kid.
But so the school had been hoping, hoping beyond hope to raise $900 for this campaign,
but thanks to a complete idiot senator's intervention
and trumpeting this thing to the entire country,
they then raised more than $275,000,
which one girl CEO Morgan Kugel said was more than any one school
had ever generated a loan on one of its campaigns.
Wow.
That's just like Caleb's cell phone of posting last week's Buntavista on his Twitter account
and making it one of our most popular episodes ever.
And we made $250,000 from that too, so.
We did.
Thanks, that's true.
All I have to do is 3 and 18-year-old with gun violence and uh
completely sincerely. Oh, extreme. I could tell in your voice, Ben, that you were very sincere.
Please don't. If you're a lawyer and you are listening to this collecting evidence, I meant it.
I own several guns that I know have you some.
It is so easy to get in Australia too, aren't they?
Oh, well, you're in America now, so maybe...
Yeah, you just bring one home in your bag.
Bring home a gun.
That should be easy.
Please check this man's cavity.
I mean he's returning.
Could be smuggling a small derringer inside.
Do you think the human body only has one cavity?
Well, how many cavities have you got that you
think might fit a gun? I really had a very small gun in my mouth if I try. But I
feel like that would that would like really interfere with you answering any
questions from the TSA agents that they might have.
There's tiny glimpses of gun in my mouth as I completely garble answering what my age
is.
Yeah, as you work work the gun around and you have a single bullet falls out onto the counter
as you're talking.
Yeah.
So yes, according to Ben, it's real.
Everybody else, it's real.
Everybody else sits not, and Ben is also the only person who is legally responsible for
the contents of this podcast.
As per a document, I had him signed but did not show him the details of.
Yeah, he'll sign anything.
Yeah, he'll sign anything.
So that was a good one from Corey Bernaddy.
And of course on the Australian front we would be remiss to not mention the all-time Hall
of Famer.
Tony Abbott, a friend of the show.
Tony.
Reluctant former Prime Minister.
Tony.
He's, like his entire Prime Ministership was one very elaborate cell phone.
Pretty much.
Yeah, I often referred to him as the
dog that caught the car. He became Prime Minister and just had absolutely no
idea what to do. It was pretty pretty out of control but even beyond all this
terrible policy decisions and general awful conduct, leathery, parchment-like skin, darting lizard
tongue.
Apart from all of those things, he still just had such a string of incredibly weird shit
there was the onion eating, which we all remember, which we all know about.
Well, he did it more than once.
He did it more than once.
Yeah, exactly a week afterwards was when he did the second one, right?
It like was not a very...
It wasn't a gap.
No, it was like the next week he was...
It was like a big, big shallot sort of thing, a big green onion.
Just, yep.
Very normal to just the thing to pretty much undo
as prime ministership in the end, which, you know, as incredibly tone-deaf and unnecessary
moves go, that's an all-timer right there.
There was the weird little wink that he did to the guy on the radio station.
There was a poverty-stricken woman calling in to talk to him on the radio station. There was a poverty stricken woman calling in
to talk to him about the horrible conditions
in which she finds herself.
Even describing, I think it was she like,
it was some terrible confluence of things like,
she was like a disabled pensioner.
And then she mentioned to Tony Abbott on this call that she had turned to doing
a phone sex, a phone line sex work kind of deal in order to try and make up some of the
sort of shortfall in money that she can't get from the public welfare safety net.
And upon hearing the word, sex, Tony immediately turned and winked lasciviously
to his to the person hosting the show and of course his face was being filmed right up close
and he had no good explanation for that one but it was extremely weird. He's just weird about
sex in general. Which is surprising because he's Catholic. You'd never anticipate that.
Yeah. In doing a bit of research for this, I found out too much about Tony Abbott having
sex. There were all the weird comments about his daughters and how, it was during the election
campaign who's like, I'm the one with the good looking daughters.
Like parading them all around the good-looking daughters.
Like parading them all around, all dressed in white constantly. It was very strange and
very on the nose. And then he got into his public comments about his daughters and their
virginity, his adult daughters. A bit weird. And their virginity, which was very strange.
How did that make virginity, which was very strange.
How did that make you feel, Lucy?
As an adult virgin.
Just felt very...
Firstly, that's extremely rude.
Secondly, that's extremely rude.
Secondly, I hope to have sex for the first time very soon.
And I don't really want to be bullied until that point. How soon? Well it'll happen, it'll happen for me, maybe
2018 could be my year. Yeah, would you say that you are like holding out because
you believe as Tony Abbott does, that virginity quote is the greatest gift you
can give someone? Wow I really don't think that it is.
It absolutely isn't.
Anyone who's taken somebody's virginity, I really, that's not a gift.
It's not a gift.
No, it's, it's, yeah, it's probably the worst sex you're going to have with somebody
or just the worst, isn't it?
Yeah, it's just bad.
That's bad, Tony.
Why are you talking about that?
So this is all weird shit that he said like,
in the lead up to becoming Prime Minister.
This is what it's like the stuff that you were saying during the election campaign.
So this is from a piece about that.
The opposition leader says, men and women tempted tempted tempted tempted tempted tempted tempted to to to th by thi thi thi thi. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's bad. That's bad. That's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's bad. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. that's bad. that's bad. that's bad. that's bad. that's bad. that's bad. that's bad. that's bad. that's bad. that's bad. that's bad. that's is from the piece about that. The opposition leader says men and women tempted by sex before marriage should try to abide by
quote the rules but at least use contraception if they can't wait. But Mr.
Abbott confessed today that his daughters have told him to keep his
lifestyle advice on sex and drugs to himself, owned, saying that they've told him quote dad you did, you did all those things, and I did.
But this next bit, somehow, this never cut through
when this story was in the media for me,
and God I wish somebody had to ask him more questions about it.
Mr. Abbott, who was previously admitted to once drinking,
quote, some sort of hemp yogurt that left him, quote, away with the fairies for about 12 hours,, and th, and th, and th, and th, and th, th, and th, th, and th, and th, th, th, and th, and th, th, and th, and that left him, quote,
away with the fairies for about 12 hours, told 3AW,
he did not want to offer sexual counseling to the nation, which is a shame.
How did we never get any more information on Tony Abbott doing, A, doing edibles,
and B, has anybody here ever heard of consuming weed in the form of
yogurt?
I mean, it's got fat in it so it's possible, but...
Yeah, all right, calm down.
That's weird.
Ben, have you ever heard of...
Blunty weed size?
Don't you have to boil the yogurt at some stage?
Yeah, it seems like you would have to, hey? That's really weird.
To me, hemp yogurt sounds like... Then that just sounds gross. You're just making like a weird,
slick, buttery yogurt. What if you were making like, um, yeah, what if you were making like, the way you make natural yogurt or whatever, you know, just leaving it to strain through a Muslim-Chulain-a-in-t, that's really, to-it-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-wea-to-wea-wea-wea-wea-to-wea-wea-wea-wea-wea, th, th, th-to-to-t, that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's th. That, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that. That, that. That, that. that. that. th-he, th-he, th-he, th-he......... the-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-h. th-he-he-he-he-he-he-h. th-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he-he you were making like, uh, the way you make
natural yogurt or whatever, you know, just leaving it to strain through a muslin cloth or whatever,
but also just shoved heaps of weed in there to absorb in. It sounds like the worst possible
way to make an edible. Yeah, it just doesn't seem like it would work at all, which is very strange. Hemp yogurt to me just sounds more like it's one of those hippie bullshit things you
buy that's not actually psychoactive.
They just like putting hemp in everything.
Maybe just ate moldy yogurt and got insanely poisoned for 12 hours.
I'm going to see if yogurt...
And that's what he thinks drug use is and that's why he's so against it. Yeah, let's just put the call out there.
Folks, if you have ever heard of any form of weed in fact involving yogurt.
I just googled, it does not sound good.
No, it seems like a million other ways to achieve what you're trying to do.
I'm just imagining like, I'm just imagining trying to like drink a large rotten yackle, you know?
It's bad and it's bad.
I'm having a really hard time with this.
Yeah, I'm gonna go on a limb and say, no hemp yogurt for me.
Okay, so you can infuse weed into milk?
Apparently.
I've heard of that. I've heard of people.
There was a thing on the something awful forums for ages where they were,
and I assumed it was just people trolling about boiling weed in milk to get people to waste their weed.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that you're still wasting your weed.
Well, if you're giving it to Tony Abbott, you're wasting it.
My God, I just cannot believe that he let that slip,
some sort of hemp yogurt without, and I like that it's hemp as well, it's not even...
It's just the hemp, it's just the rope part. The part we make rope out of.
He actually just ate a hemp t-shirt that had some milk soaked into it and had been left there for a really long time.
He ate the hemp cloth someone was straining their natural yogurt through.
Very, very confused. So yeah, Tony, Tony all-time champion. He
certainly looks like he has zero plans of retiring and letting someone else climb up
the charts. I think that he is going to continue owning himself savagely and
publicly until they drag him out of Parliament in a box.
That's my take on Tony.
So you know, that's just a taste.
It's just a taste of our local self-owning.
But we have of course had some absolutely staggering examples from overseas this week.
It's such a universal thing.
Conservative's just, yeah. Their pants down. Well, well, the things that has inspired this week. It's such a universal thing. Conservative's just, yeah, their pants down.
Well, the thing that has inspired this episode, full stop, and it's a bit of a continue on,
it's a bit of a continuation from last week's diaper fetish talk, was this Turning Point USA protest
on campus at Kent State, I believe.
And yeah, they were basically putting on this protest
to protest against like safe spaces and Libs being big babies.
And they thought, what really captures the idea of a big baby?
Nappies, nappies on adults. Hell yeah. They had some little like playgate
things. Some little... yeah, then they all put on nappies and sat down on the floor
with dummies in drawing things with crayons. So the thing about this is it was one guy that was wearing a diaper, right?
Yeah, I think everybody else.
I'm pretty sure it's just a one dude that's in the yellow shirt that's in all the photos.
I could be wrong.
I might have just made this entire narrative up in my head, but it seems very much like, they've
all been like, oh, we'll make fun of it by making it like it's you know for kids and when everyone goes like yeah we can all wear
diapers and the rest of like oh oh you know we'll see how we go and then there's
this one fucking guy who's in the middle of every photo wearing nothing but a
t-shirt and a diaper with a dummy in some photos and he's sucking his thumb thumb in others and just the fucking you you got it there there there there there there there there there there the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th is the the the the the the the the the to to to to thus thumbed to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the to the the the th is is is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th. thus thus thus thus the is the is the is thumb is thumb is thumb is thumb is the te is. te is. te is. the the the the the the the the the the the thumb is thumb is just the fucking you you got it has to be some point right where you're like
oh this is hilarious satire and then the moment where you're on buttoning your pants and
sliding them off and you're standing there in broad fucking daylight with your bare legs and
you're just like uh no we fuck this we know we're the ones wearing it we're in diapers.
Now we're the huge babies.
This um that that was exactly what I thought about it, Ben, was, um, I was just trying
to imagine the, the conversations that happened before this and then some decisions were
taken and then somebody went to a store and they were like, hey, I need a dummy.
No, they absolutely already had all this.
I need large adult diapers for me, a university student trying to make some kind of point.
The Turning Point USA college stuff, it really seems like a big cell phone factory, doesn't
it?
Like, it's terrible.
And even better, after a little bit, the protest was actually disowned by Turning Point USA,
the main organization.
Oh, the phrasing of their statement.
What did they call it?
Something and obscure.
They used two really odd words.
They said, quote,
while we support all of our chapters to do innovative and creative activism events,
this event clearly crossed the line and delved into the very obscure and inappropriate.
The intention of the event was to criticize safe spaces, which we support.
However, the execution and choice of imagery was poor in taste.
Meanwhile, they're in a fucking safe space at uni, not being murdered while they're
being huge weirdos.
Yeah.
It's incredibly weird. Like, yeah, they had the other protest where they were like, um, dressing up as, um, like, like, like, like, like, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, um, the, the, the, their the, the, the, the, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th.. the, the, the, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, theat, th like yeah they had the other protest
where they were like dressing up as cops and going up to people and giving them
citations for being triggered. Wow. Which again is that kind of thing where you
just imagine a bunch of like really really lame you know student student politician kind of types all sitting around and talking
about this thing and then getting out into the real world. Can you imagine how many people
they stop and say some stuff to who immediately go, fuck off and keep walking?
These things, they don't exist outside of their little fucking thought bubble,
like, you know, people just shouting triggered at each other, or, you know, did you just assume my gender
and all this sort of stuff?
That it, people, this never happens.
Like, yeah, people on the left try and think about this sort of stuff and not be gigantic, inconsidurable dickholes to, you know, people that are different to them, their.......... their, their, their, their, th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thi, thin, thin, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. People, th. People, th.. People, th... People, th.. People, th. People, th. People, th. People, th. People, th. People, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, they, they, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the. People, thin, thi. People, thi. People, that are different to them, but they don't. Like, the only time I ever see this sort of language is from these fucking idiots who
just repeat it verbatim into like an echo chamber until they pass out from, you know, the
effort of it. And so like if you go up to someone on the street and you start shouting
this sort of stuff at them, like, 99% of people are just going to be like,
what the fuck are you talking about?
Yeah, that's absolutely it.
What are you talking about?
It's just being like people having a normal conversation.
Some dude walking after they're being like,
ah, you triggered your little bitch.
And they're just like, I don't know you.
Okay. What are you doing? What is doing doing doing doing doing doing doing doing back local for a second for a really, really good localized example of this.
And a friend of the show, Nikki, old friend, Wine Mum on Twitter, she had a post earlier
today about Australian conservative columnist Miranda Divine.
Ah, Miranda Devine.
And it was just, it's just this sequence of, her getting owned. Sequence of incidents, yeah, where, where Miranda is just... What is just... What is this. What is just, what this this this this this this this this?? what is this, what is this, what is this, what is this, what is this, what is this, what is this, what is this, what is this, what is this, what is this, what is this, what is this, what is this, what is this, what, what is this, what is this, what is this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what is this, what is this, what is this, what is this, what, what, what is this, what, this, thi?? What, thi? What, thi.a? What, thi.a? What, thi. thi. thi. thi. this, this, what And it was just, it's just this sequence of, her getting owned.
Sequence of incidents, yeah, where Miranda has just destroyed herself by saying something
incredibly dumb and then immediately having someone go, no, that's not at all, what you
think it is.
And the first example was, during a, during a rugby game, Miranda says,
Did David Pocock actually do jazz hands when he scored a try?
What a tosser!
David Pocock himself, then replies to her,
it was actually Oslan's sign language for clapping.
I have a friend whose first language is Oslan, so I did it for clapping. I have a friend whose first language is Osland so I did it for her.
A normal person at this stage would go, oh, oops, like I mean a normal person wouldn't make
that joke in the first place, I mean, but we've all like overstepped and said something
stupid where we've just looked stupid and then you go, oh, that was really dumb of me. Uh, sorry about that. I publicly apologize. But she did it. Well, she didn't? Well, she didn't. Well, that. That that. That that. That that. That that. That that. That that. That that. That that. That that that that that that that that that that that that that that that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, thi tho. Oh, that was, that was, thi. that was, thi. that was really dumb of me. Sorry about that. I publicly apologize.
But she did it. Well, she didn't. Well, she did say this is the thing. She tried to explain it to David. But the problem is that the explanation was just a revelation of how completely fucked her brain is by her own politics at this point. So she says to David, oh sorry I thought it was this other thing.
And then posts a link to one of her own articles saying,
for those puzzled about my aversion to jazz hands, it's the feminist version of clapping,
which triggers anxiety.
Wow.
And she has a link off to one of her own blog posts,
which is about, of course,
liberals and lefties with their safe spaces on college campuses
and all this sort of stuff.
And much like so many of these things,
it's clearly one of these things where like she's she's seen like one person's
like idiotic tumbler post about how like they don't like clapping because the
sound is aggressive so maybe you could just wave your hands instead you
you know even then you've seen something like that
that's not well so innocuous like it you know even if that was something
that like people were doing no one's forcing anyone to do it's so innocuous. Like, you know, even if that was something that like people were doing, no one's forcing
anyone to do it.
It's always just as a polite consideration.
Like, who gives a shit?
Why are you like someone in their mid-30s that's obsessing over this imagined insane
version of what you think 18-year-old are doing? Like, it's just, well, apart from anything else, most of, I would say that most of the
things that she's talking about, yeah, are those types of things that don't really happen.
In the same way that the rights, you know, cultural obsession with safe spaces and trigger
warnings and stuff like that are so massively overrepresented
compared to yeah the the quantities in which they exist in the real world.
I mean the whole safe spaces thing I am given to understanding that the whole
safe spaces thing is about the universities that created an actual physical space and said this is a safe space that you can go and sit at if you if you know want to get away from the, you know, the the the qualities the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the qu. the qu. the qu. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the qu, the qu-quality qualities, the qu-quality qualities, yeah, yeah, the qu-quality qualities, the qu-quality qualities, the qu-quality qualities, the qu-quality qualities, the qu-quality qualities, the qu-quality qualities, the qu, the qu, the qu, the qu, the qu, the qu, the qu, the qu, the qu, the qu, the qu, the qu, the qu, the qu, the qu qu, the qu, the qu, the the the the the the the qu-u the qu-u-u-u-u-u-quality quat-u-u-u-uant, the quatuant, the quat, the quatua-qua-qua-qua-qua-qua-qua-qua-qua-qua-quahuant qua-quahuant, the qu that created an actual physical space and said this is a safe space that you can go and sit at if you if you
you know wanna get away from it you feel threatened or whatever
and to my knowledge the number of universities in north america that
actually have safe spaces it is either two or three universities
so like that's and obviously it immediately became a phrase
which was then co-opted straight into this other thing but like the amount of
time people like Miranda spend referring to all of this stuff compared to how
much it actually exists in the real world is just staggeringly unbalanced.
I mean and even that even like for Miranda
Divine to come out and say oh this guy just kind of waved both his hands for a
second. My assumption is that he's doing this extremely hyper left-wing feminist
virtue signaling at a rugby game of course the most the most obvious
place to do those sorts of things and And when the guy says, it's sign language, it's a thing deaf people do.
She doesn't say, like Theo said, she doesn't go, ooh, I was a dick there.
Instead she goes, oh no, let me explain.
I've written an extremely weird essay about the one time I heard that somebody in a university class
somewhere floated the idea that they could do that instead of clapping. So
that's why it's still a normal thing for me to say. Can I just say that on the
left I think though I think we see people that do stupid stuff like
conservators or they complain about, um, we'll get to the Mike Dice tweet I think in a sec but like when the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th, we'll get to the Mike Mark Dice tweet, I think,
in a sec, but like when people complain about stuff that they don't like seeing, and then
people on the left go, oh, are you triggered? Do you need a safe space? Can I just say
that I, that's not very, like, don't do that? It's not very funny, I don't think. If, if the more the more the more the more th, thu more thu more thu more thu more thu thu thu thu th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's not, that's not that's not that, that, that, like, like, like, like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. that that thi. thi. that's not th. thi. th. the thi. that's not thi. that's not thi. thi. the more we do that, the more this bullshit's just going to continue
into eternity, I think, like, just, just leave it be.
Are you triggered there?
I've been guilty of doing that before.
Oh, I've done it before as well.
The instinct is definitely just to be like, ha ha!
We're throwing your own thing back in your face, but then, you really are really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really, yeah, it's the just don't look kind of thing.
Just, a lot of that on both.
I think there's a lot of that on both sides where in exactly,
the same thing you were just saying a few minutes ago,
about, yeah, about like conservative people saying,
oh, did you just assume my gender?
And like it's this, it's this, even if it's intended to be, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, this where even if it's intended to be you know snarky or whatever
It's still this this weaponizing of
Language that you yourself are saying you don't believe in yeah, that's that's right and by us doing it. We also say that we don't believe it when you know I think you know triggering is a you know this this came from a psychological a medical medical thing and you know it affects people that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. thi. the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. know, triggering is, you know, this, this came from, you know, a psychological and medical, medical thing and, you know, it affects people that have got PTSD and that
sort of thing. I don't think we should delegitimize that as well.
It's, and it's much easier and funnier to just call them a huge dip shit.
Absolutely. Just reply, blue, blue, blue to all that makes people so mad. I did that to a guy that was like virulently anti-circumcision.
And he was just trying to pick a fight with me for like an hour.
It's just, that's all you can say because it's not, there's nothing worth debating there. Oh, I went through a whole thread of, um, of angry landlords a little while ago and just replied,
Wha! To each one.
I saw that, I was telerious.
Yeah, I think it's very, like you're saying, it's very similar to the right-wing stuff where
you see people saying, yeah, where like, where people see, you know, a politician or a left-wing person say something
about old white men and they go, oh, you're being racist against me.
And ageist.
You're being ageist and racist and sexist against me, an older, you know, cis-head, Caucasian
man.
This is, you're not supposed to discriminate.
That's your thing. And it's like, well, yeah, and your side of politics is constantly talking
about how like identity politics isn't a real thing and everyone's an individual and you don't
get to take offense on the basis of all this stuff. Yeah, and when you actually don't play
into it, then they, then it's like, yeah, it only exists in their mind.
It's like the Milo thing when you attack him and you're like, oh, but you can't attack
a gay man.
And it's like, no, that's the identity politics you're accusing us of.
We can attack him on the basis of all of the horrible shitty stuff he says.
Yeah, because we actually respect gay people, we can believe that some of them absolutely suck us in a huge dipshits.
Did anybody here see that new ad from the NRA?
No.
It is insane.
It's really bad.
Yeah, I saw this thing the other day and it was just, it was just staggering.
Without you saying anything about it, can I just assume that it's, they've tried to get like a very diverse array of people talking about how much they love guns, being like, well,
black people use them and gay people. Is that what it is? Uh, no it is in fact, um, it is in fact Dana Loche, if you recall her, um, it's a
goddamn that. Let's all have an awkward pause for a moment while I find this thing.
Leave this in as well. I'm not gonna leave it in. No, I'm gonna do a quality stand-up in that time, so then you'll going to leave it in. No, I'm going to do a quality stand-up in that time,
so then you'll have to leave it in. Yeah, okay. Hit us with a, hit us with a good stand-up
while I track this down. Hey, so you guys hear about, um, you're about this Elon Musk guy.
It's like, come on man, we've already invented the car.
Who's that, sorry?
More, did you say Elon Musk or Elon must? Elon must? More like,
uh, more like, uh, fuck, um, I was, uh, I was at the shops the other day and I was, you ever noticed that the price
of goods is steadily been raising in line with inflation and you're like, whoa, this used
to cost less.
Hey, can I, can I heckle during this?
Please don't.
This is already very fragile.
No, it's, it's a, yeah, it's like it's just a, you're just trying it out, right?
Yeah, this is all, you know, this is, this is gonna go on my Netflix stand-up special.
I'm just still working out, you know, what's good, what's bad.
This is gonna go on your real.
Yeah.
All right. So I got this ad. That was great by the way, Ben. Thanks so much. Thank you for really keeping it going.
So, here's a very, very normal TV commercial
starring Dana Loesch, who is a spokesperson for the NRA,
which if I am given to understanding correctly, is a sportsman's rifle association.
Right?
Hmm.
Yeah, I think it's sort of like a hobbyist's collective.
If you like guns and you like to shoot him off, you can join this club.
Here's a very normal thing for a group like that to say. Let's just take a listen
to this one minute long ad.
We are witnesses to the most ruthless attack no president and the people who voted for him
and the free system that allowed it to happen in American history. From the highest levels
of government to their media, universities and billionaires, their hateful defiance of his
legitimacy is an insult to each of us. But the ultimate insult is that they think we're so stupid
that we'll let them get away with it.
These saboteurs slashing away with their leaks and sneers,
their phony accusations and gagging sanctimony
drive their daggers through the heart of our future.
Poisoning our belief that honest custody of our institutions
will ever again be possible.
So they can
then build their utopia from the ashes of what they burn down. No, their fate
will be failure and they will perish in the political flames of their own fires.
We are the National Rifle Association of America and we are freedom's safest place.
Holy fuck! Wow! Like a RTS games from the 90s?
How like before every mission?
Yeah, this is absolutely like a speech from the Handmaid's Tale or something.
Oh, it's definitely like a command and conquer game person talking to you before you start.
Like, if you just depended like the word commander, comma, and then started
playing that.
Um, yeah, I hope it goes without saying that the visuals during this commercial are a lot
of flashes of like, um, violence in hot spots around the world. Um, a lot of shifty-looking
people in turbans.
Yeah, cool.
A lot of Antifa having riots, journalists, just being journalists.
I really like how there is basically absolutely no mention of anything to do with guns or gun control or anything.
Well, it's implicit. You meant to shoot everyone mentioned.
Yeah, the entire thing is basically like, yeah,
imagine daring to resist or undermine the president.
Frightening stuff.
It, like, yeah, it's, that one is a whole thing to deal with.
Their hateful defiance of his legitimacy is an insult to each of us.
I like the idea of us burning it down and building a utopia, that sounds nice.
Sounds good.
That does sound nice.
Oh yeah, a cultural Marxist utopia.
Hell yeah.
That's sure.
How, how's that for a line to wrap it up on though?
They will perish in the political flames of their own fires.
Yeah.
That's pretty dope.
I mean, if I'm going to die, I hope it's in the flames of my own political fires.
So, yeah.
If it's not border-explicitiation.
It is right out there.
It is right out there. Look, you know, obviously we've got got a lot of, a lot of other guys like this to cover.
A lot of other sweet conservatives.
Um, should we just have one more and then we can maybe take the other, the other guys over to the, um, to the bonus episode?
Yes. Sounds good.
Because we've been going for nigh on an hour.
Well, again, about half an hour worth of cuts to make, but... That's true. Oh, sorry, you have.
I'm leaving the stand-up in, obviously. Yeah, thank you. This is going to be my big break.
Finally. So look, all right. We'll just have one last one here from sent in by a friend
of the show, Connor Golden about other friend of the show, Mark Dice, good old Dark Mice.
I have heard you twee, if you tweet Dark Mice at him on Twitter, he will block you immediately.
And this was, this was Mark saying that he just phoned the Baltimore police to
report the kill Trump song by Abdel Ibrahim and they said they don't care and then hung up
on me.
It's such a good tweet.
It's so good.
The best thing about this is their willingness to post shit like this is so good.
These things that just show that the world doesn't take them seriously in any fashion
because the shit they do is not real.
And they think it's, again, they've mistaken it for a sign of legitimacy instead of what it is,
which is the world being completely indifferent to them and they're made up complaints.
Well, yeah. Exactly. Yeah, like, I don't know. I just can't imagine thim imagine thim imagine head to write that out and look at it and think, yes, this is very sympathetic towards me.
I don't sound like the person, I don't sound like the person wasting the police's time by ringing them up to say that a song upset me.
Somebody threatened Daddy.
Yes, just for Theo's benefit.
He was triggered.
That little snowflake was triggered.
Yeah, absolutely.
And he does.
I immediately take back.
He does.
I mean, he really does.
All right.
I tell you what, folks.
We are going to log the F off. But we are going to continue on this very thio thio thio thio thio thio thio tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to th gonna log off we're gonna log the F off but
we are going to continue on this very topic on this week's bonus episode this
is gonna include a bit of bit of chat about beautiful people like Stephen Crowder
Gavin McInnes and of course we are gonna have to just take a quick listen
to baked Alaska's response to the Eminem Donald Trump distraq that's that's incredible that's incredible. that's to to to to to to to th to th th to th to th to th th th to th to th th to to to to to thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to too-you to-yo to-yo-yo-yo-y-yo-yo-yo-y-yo-y-you-to-y-y-soe-I toe-to' toe-to just take a quick listen to baked Alaska's response to the Eminem
Donald Trump disc track. That's incredible. We're going to listen to the actual
audio of him rapping him response to Eminem guys. I hadn't seen it until today and I can't. It's... You will. You will again. How about that? All right. So there you go folks. Thank you for listening. to you would like to hear more about this. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tr. true. the m. true. the m. the m. I. I. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. M. I the tre. I the tre. I true. I to. I again. How about that? All right. So there go, folks.
Thank you for listening.
If you would like to hear more about this topic, please feel free to jump on the old Patreon.
If you are already a patron, we love you.
Your kisses are in the mail.
If you responded to a little giveaway of Friend of the show stickers made by Dear Sweet Friend of the Show himself,
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It's been an elaborate ruse around a competition just to obtain personal information about you.
And once again, Ben is left holding the bag legally. So glad I've said and done all of the things that I've said and done.
Yep, signed all those documents.
Uh, so yeah, and you can, you can sign up for that if you would like to get that stuff
or you could, you could rate us on iTunes if you like that sort of thing.
Any of you guys ever get into reviewing stuff online?
No.
No.
God stand it.
Yeah, me either.
So I understand if you're not going to rate it.
It's fine.
It's fine.
You know, but people have.
Maybe you're like uh.
Maybe you're like the people that leaves you're like them. Maybe you're like telling strangers on the internet what you thought of it.
Maybe you're like one of those people that leaves a review of every single thing that you ever stop at.
As a Google Maps review of like a forest and you leave five stars and you say it's good.
I've seen a lot of those people. I've been staring at a lot of Google Maps lately and people have all sorts of opinions
about all sorts of places.
Yeah I love people who did that shit.
There was a guy who lived near me in Melbourne who just reviewed everything that was like
with him walking distance to my house.
It was like Yarra Bike Trail, four stars.
And you also had this great habit of dropping into each review that he had a girlfriend.
There was like a local jeweler and he was like, it was great.
They like fixed something or whatever.
For my girlfriend, whose wrists are very slender.
I was like, all right.
If you've got to get that, you know there.
Yeah, I'm always buying jewels for my wafi girlfriend.
Same.
Well, I'm assuming that, you know, maybe they got some sort of special links that his girlfriend
slender risks could hold up because like a normal, a normal kind of Michael Hiller
chain would just crush her, her bird-like bones under its weight.
Out of curiosity, Theo, when was the last time that you bought your wife jewelry?
I can't, I'll get it wrong.
Let's keep attacking Theo's marriage.
This is great.
All right, let's take it off line and go and review Theo's marriage on the other episode.
If you are a patron, we will see you over there. Go fuck yourself. What are you going to do? You can either go the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the to to to to to to to to to the the the the th. I th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I tho, I can't, I can't thi, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't, I tho, I I I can't, I I I I can, I I I I I can, I I I I I I I I I I, I, I th. I I, I th. I th. I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I can't, I can't thi, I can't thi, I can't thi, I can't thi, I can't thi, I can't thi, I can't tho, I can't tho, I can't tha, I can't thi, I can't thi, I can't, I can't over there. And if you're not, um, go fuck yourself.
What are you gonna do?
Yeah.
You can either go fuck yourself or you can sign up for the patron.
One of those, only those two options.
Unfortunate.
Jerk it, uh, get off the pot.
That's, yes. Yeah.
All right.
Thanks, thanks, folks. We'll see. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. tha. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thanks, folks. We'll see you soon. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye.
Bye.