Boonta Vista - EPISODE 213: Dad Like A Hole

Episode Date: August 19, 2021

For some fucked up reason Americans don't use the handbrake all the time when parking. Go figure. Plus: Great American Hall of Name: Cornhole Edition, The Shipping Report, and a double dose of Nature ...Corner.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to Buente Vista episode 213. I am an executive here at the legendary marketing agency Bastard Anus and Anus. We've recently acquired a big name client, the Australian government, and they've entrusted us with rolling out their new campaign COVID not that bad Over it is standing desk wearing a suit that can only be described as precious My colleague Theo is swetterly reworking his ideas for pictures such as 14 days alone in your house. That's a lot of Netflix and Oh, you had something better to do than spend three months at home. How it coming along thea it's going really good I am kind of struggling with the little pink thing that comes out of my pocket what do you call that that bad boy a pocket square
Starting point is 00:01:17 not how he does it certainly not sorry we'll talk about, my horrible, ill-fitting suit, or the marketing ideas? Whichever one you think you are closer to having a grasp on, I guess. Okay, well, we better talk about the marketing ideas. Just pushing that pocket square right down. I'm thinking maybe like, how many vaccines did Anthony Albanese get us?
Starting point is 00:01:44 Hmm. Blame Italy. Yes. Yes. like, how many vaccines did Anthony Albanese get us? Mmm. Um, blame Italy. Oh, yes. Yes, that's the one country you can say that about. Could I combine your, those two pitches into one pitch, uh, where we start rebranding Anthony Anthony is Tony Bologna. So we're sort of riling up some anti-Italian sentiment and then implying, well not even implying, he is Italian, stressing how Italian.
Starting point is 00:02:12 Is it? Albanese? Yeah, yeah, when I said it was past to Albanese. Yeah, yeah, yep. That's with the squid ink. Yes. That voice that you hear is the voice of the man who not five minutes earlier was standing over by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by by the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the hear is the voice of the man who not five minutes earlier was standing over by the water cooler with his mouth completely enclosing the
Starting point is 00:02:29 cold water tap. It's Ben. He pitched me an idea earlier today that basically said, getting jabbed is bad when it happens in boxing, so maybe it's bad in a public health crisis too? And I think that's really going to cut through. As an alternative, I was thinking we could sort of try and take a, well, it's bad, but what are you going to do approach to COVID. You can't live with it. You can't live with it. Hmm. I like that. Yeah. Pfizer. What's the fucking rush? Yeah, yeah. COVID, you can't live with it, you can't live without it if we have anything to do with the matter.
Starting point is 00:03:10 AstraZenna who? Well, it's no longer AstraZeneca anymore, so we've got to... Ah, that's right. They've rebranded it to AstraZeneca-Ca-ca, I believe. That's, which I don't think is going to help one bit. No. I don't think it's going to help at all. This is called what? I'm taking my business elsewhere. The third rebrand will be Arse, Trezanaka.
Starting point is 00:03:40 And it's only going downhill from there. We could start calling Moderna, uh, ancient, because it's, it's old and out of fashion now. Hmm. Okay. We'll work on that one. That's the one where you decide that it's not good. Like in character where we've been just saying yes to everything we've said so far. You waited until we got to one of mine and then went
Starting point is 00:04:06 Not that great actually. I that's great. I mean I think I think put them up on the board put them all up on the board And later on maybe have a few a few martinis you know a couple of whiskey soures. We start tos and darts at that bad boy quite partial to a to an old-fashioned myself. I love an old-fashioned. I love an old-fashioned. So true. That's six of them for breakfast this morning. Because we work at an advertising firm,
Starting point is 00:04:34 and a show that I have not watched leads me to believe that that's how we conduct ourselves. It's like talks about. You should watch it. It's a tremendous show. Okay. Hey, check out well-regarded and critically acclaimed show, Madmen. Ad-Men. Admen. Sorry, yeah, they fucked it. Yeah. Because they work, like they don't work in like an asylum or anything, right? No. They're not patients in an asylum. The only thing they're mad about is ads. You probably make some sort of pun there, but I don't they. They they. They don't they. They don't they. And they. And they're they. And they're th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their th. their their th. th. thi thi. thi-a. th. th. their th. th. th. th. thi- Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their, their, their, their-too. thi. thi. their-too. thi. thi. thi. thi. The only thing they're mad about is ads. You probably make some sort of pun there, but I don't know how you feel. And then there's a lot on kind of mental illness and trauma and stuff in the show and what have you, I think as well.
Starting point is 00:05:14 No, I think it's about. And they live in Madison Square Garden? Madison Square Garden. That Square Garden, that's right. Yes. They live in the cube. That's what I call Madison Square Garden. Check it out of the cube. We're going to the cube. Imagine if the reveal at the end of the movie Cube was that this was all taking place inside that big cube, Madison Square Garden.
Starting point is 00:05:39 There is one person list of this right now who is just like run over to a wall in the room they're in and hastily marked out mentions of the movie Cube. Mention number 17 of the movie Cube. Is it about my Cube? Now look at the agency that we are at in order to inform our decision making about these kinds of ads and campaigns that we help to lovingly craft to be shunted on to be shunted on to be shunted on to be shuntied in order to inform our decision-making about these kinds of ads and campaigns that we help to lovingly craft to be shunted onto TV screens during episodes of home and away, we do a lot of research. You know, we do a lot of investigation. We go out, we get on the streets, we ask people what they think, we contract the Delta
Starting point is 00:06:22 strain, because we should not be out there doing face-to-face polling at this exact moment in time. No, this microphone is very dirty. Getting in people's faces. Right in there. Handing your saliva, sir. Handing someone my pen and clip in and clip. Handing someone my pen and clip and say, why don't you fill it in.
Starting point is 00:06:39 It's fine if you chew on it, I've got more pens. Kiss the pen if you need. Off into my Bolognaise bag. So you know, we do a lot of that kind of thing. And most importantly, we do polling, we do research. There's another very important poll that we've done recently, and we're going to reveal it unto you on this week's installment of the poll report. All right we have a little problem here which is that I thought I recorded the several minute long Polish Astronaution. Look I don't know if we need to do this to people a third time. I was so excited. Every time? It's so long. Look, if you feel that you still want this joke in your life,
Starting point is 00:07:27 you the listener, pause right now, go to YouTube. to thoooo, look up Polish National Anthem and choose the longest version you can find. Listen to all of that, come back here, resume the podcast. But if you don't want that, you are welcome. I implore you to find a version with the lyrics so you can read those. Yep, about the blood of the homeland and keeping away the horrible, whoever they hate, everyone I believe. Following Napoleon's example, that kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:07:58 So Ben, I am given to understanding that you conducted some important online research on behalf of this podcast that we are appearing on right now. That's entirely correct. The other day I saw an Instagram story post from a friend of the show Kara from Cruising for Reviews, World's number one only Tom Cruise movie review podcast, which Andrew and I have both been on. And she was saying, is it true that Americans don't really use their handbrakes? Now that is not a stereotype that I had ever heard before in my life. And so I thought there's only one thing
Starting point is 00:08:44 to do when faced with new information like that and that is to Google it. And I did Google it and I saw that there was some suggestion that that was the case but I couldn't find any fucking statistics on it. So I took matters into my own hands. I went on a little website called Twitter. I did a poll. Am I correct in understanding that Twitter is where you go to get facts? Yes, that's where I... Certainly if you want to know what's happening. If you want... Well it's number one fact-based website.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Data, truth, information, clarity. Go to Twitter. There's a reason that's where all the journalists are. And they spend all of their time time their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to Twitter.com. There's a reason that's where all the journalists are. And they spend all of their time there. Don't you have work to do? Journalists? It's my new thing that I'm doing. So the question that I posed was, do you, if you possess an automatic car, do you use your handbrake every time that you park? And then I asked respondents to declare whether they were American or otherwise. Now we got quite a lot of responses to this, about 2,200 people. Of the 1,083 non-Americans, these people not from the United
Starting point is 00:09:57 States of America, that responded, 88.1 percent of them responded to the infervative saying that they always use their handbreak when they park their car. That's right. Completely seen normal behavior. Yes, and then at 11.9% said they didn't, which to me, bonkers. But I probably could have, you know, non-Americans covers most of the world, it turns out. So you might have some Italians even.
Starting point is 00:10:23 You might get some Canadians answering on that Yeah, and they're sort of their proximity to America. Yeah Now of Detroit of the 1,206 Americans that responded 36.7% of them responded the affirmative saying they always use their handbreak when they park and then the remaining 63.3% said that they don't. So they just hold the they just put the break down the whole time. They're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to. to. to. tole to to. to te. to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their to when they park and then the remaining 63.3% said that they don't. So they just hold the, they just put the break down the whole time and they never leave their car? Well, now that's what I would think would be safe, but I think what they're actually doing is that they're putting their car into park, the little gear indicated by the P, little P there, which the little the little P, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the p, the little little p, the p, their, their, their, the little little little little little little little little p, the little p, their, their, their, their, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, thea, thea, thea., thea, thea, thea, their thea, their the, the, the, th P, little P there, which I believe is the P of the Princess and the P, the story. They've put it into park. So you just closed your eyes for some reason, I'm not sure why you've done that. Interesting. So they've put it in park, and then they've taken their foot off the break. They've put both their hands up, they've looked around, they've used their elbow to open to open to open to open to open to open to open, to open, to open, to open, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, pe, pe, pe, pe, pe, peree, peree, peree, peree, peree, peree, peree, peree, peree, peree, peree, peree, peree, peree, peree, peree, peree, peree, peree, peree, their, peree, their, peree both their hands up, they've looked around, they've used their elbow to open
Starting point is 00:11:25 the door handle somehow. Or they've just popped out of the top of their open top jeep. The convertible hummer that they drive, they have alley-ooped out of there and then they've walked off and they've left the car in that state. And this is what they do every day of their life. Which, you know, is bonkers, right? Like, that's insane. Yes, it's insane to me. My wife, my wife, Ellen, she... Shout out, Alanna.
Starting point is 00:11:59 Shadoult, Elinor. She... She thinks that I, that I pull the handbrake on too hard, right? So when I, when I pull the hand break th, th, th, th, th, the think, think, the think, th, the think, think, the think, think, the think, think, think, think, think, thank, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, thinkers, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, thi right, thi right, the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their thinks that I, that I pull the handbrake on too hard, right? So when I, when I pull the handbrake on, she's like, ooh. Are we talking button or no button? Uh, button? Who the, oh, wellucks wrong with you? Jesus! It's just a fun noise.
Starting point is 00:12:26 It's not a fun noise. It's an awful noise. Fun clicky clacky noise, you know? No, it's not fun. It's like putting a playing card in the spokesie bike. Tick, tick, tick, tick. I mean, one's evocthe sound of me with carefree abandon putting my parking brake on. That's true.
Starting point is 00:12:49 Hold on, I do, I stick my button in, that's fine. You know, you do. Unless my wife's not around, then I wrench that bad point. But she... Quick wife check. But she... You get out of the car and run on ahead, I'll park, I, I'll pull right up to the door and you can just hop out and I'll park the car. He's so considerate. Now she's gone. But so she thinks when I pull the handbrake up that I'm just like pulling it too much tension on the handbrake and I'm like this is. Now he likes it like that. That I'm like that. He likes. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th like, th like, th like, th like, th like, th like, th like, I'll just th like, I'll just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to just to just to just to just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thr- thr- thr- the the door the door the door the door the door the door the door the door the door tho the door tho tho thi thi that tho th it too far up that I'm putting like too much tension on the handbreak
Starting point is 00:13:26 and I'm like this is... Now he likes it like that. He does for a start. And also I'm just like, no that's the mechanism. So this is just one of these things where I think she might have been like, don't pull on the handbrake too hard and she's like internalized this to mean that you can put the handbrake on too hard. Like I think you can pull it on like so hard, like turning, like turning taps, you know, you can turn a tap off so hard that someone else in your house can't actually loosen it or they're going again.
Starting point is 00:14:09 Caitlin can tighten a tap so much that Theo cannot get it open. It's infuriating. She's got those Pilates hands, you know? There's incredible ability to turn to tap with those. However, I would argue that you are not in any risk of like making the tap or the parking brake non-functional. That's my opinion. I mean probably it is a thing that's under tension though. Like But I guess you wouldn't be able to pull it further than what it can take you would hope if your car was designed by someone with a who was smart. With a degree in carology. Yeah, He went to car university. Yeah, I would agree
Starting point is 00:14:49 with that. If you're talking about a steel cable that is attached to a winch type mechanism, I think that there's no danger of you with your regular left arm pulling it so hard that you're gonna snap this fucking cable or whatever, you know. But you're gonna pull on your hand brake so hard that your handbreak is going to whiff out of the window while you're not driving. Yes, you don't want that to happen. Yeah. So, it is crazy to me that 60-something percent of these people are saying, no, no, I just, I just
Starting point is 00:15:21 never ever use it. That's the car's job. So we, we. I would love a mechanic to actually let us know whether it's bad for cars or not, because it just feels like it feels like you can feel the car kind of settling in when you don't use the handbrake, it kind of settles down on its drive train. If I find you were on a takes some of that. A podcast with someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone someone you the the the the their their th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to. to. the. the. to. theee. theeeeeeee. the. the. the. the. the. the. thrain. I find you were on a take some of that. A podcast with someone whose job it was to do the research for the things that you're about to talk about. Okay well, well that information at hand. And I and I will I will say Theo just in terms of what we were just talking about. Of the two things that you want to put the most pressure on in your car, surely one is the simple piece of steel cable as opposed to like your
Starting point is 00:16:06 gearbox. Yes. So before we get into the mechanisms involved here I just want to talk about Americans for a second longer. You might well. Here is some quotes from some of the people that responded to the poll. Some of the Americans, boo! that responded to the poll, some of the Americans, boo, that responded to the poll. American that does not live on a hill. Why would I? That's one. Only do it when you're parking on a steep incline.
Starting point is 00:16:37 Now that one seems like they're trying to give us advice, to which I say, no, thank you, sir. The only time the parking brake is necessary is on a heel of any kind. And then finally, in this one I believe you might have to read as if it was being delivered with some sarcasm or irony. Oh yeah, I always engaged the parking break every time I park. What if there's a catastrophic earthquake and fishes in the earth crust cause the car to roll away. I mean what if there was an earthquake? What if you were wrong?
Starting point is 00:17:07 Hmm. Well, let's find out. Hmm. So, uh, there's, obviously this is an odd thing to have as a cultural difference, right? Like, uh, there's nothing that different about our cars. One of the suggestions I've seen off it around is that, is that for however long America has had a much higher preponderance of automatic cars, so people just don't really get that familiarity with the handbrake, say your average Australian or European might. And another point of difference is that in as far as I can tell, every state in Australia, in Australia you are legally required to have your handbreak on when you park your car regardless of where your car is. For instance, in Queensland, if you
Starting point is 00:17:54 are more than three meters away from your car, that car must be completely secured, which means you must have switched off the engine, remove the key from the ignition, wound up the windows with a gap of, sorry, wound up the windows th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the window th the window the windows the window is the window is the key from the ignition, wound up the windows with a gap of, sorry, wound up the windows but a gap of five centimetres or less is acceptable so that's good to keep in mind if you've got a smelly car maybe. You have to lock the doors and you have to apply your handbag. You have to do all that. If you're more than three well, well, oh God, I hope Caitlin doesn't find out about this because I just walk away from the car all the time, right? And she's like, you're going to look the car?
Starting point is 00:18:30 I'm like, yes, and I'll reach the pocket and lock the car. It's not through any kind of like- Stop padding you're going to pay for the check, you know? Yeah, it's not threw any kind of like stubbornness or anything like that. I mean it is now but like I mean I always just think like this there's nothing in the car are they gonna steal the floor mats? What sort of car do you drive again? I'm gonna one of those? Shodder? Yeah what color is it? And what streets do you usually park it on? So let's get into the nitty gritty here? Uh, so when. So when you don't have your handbrake on when your car is parked, the thing that is keeping your car in place.
Starting point is 00:19:12 Now, whether, if you're on a hill, obviously this is the thing that stops it from rolling, if there is, say, a strong wind, it is the thing stopping your car from rolling. If your car is hit by another car, this is the thing that will stop it from rolling. Yeah. The thing that's doing that when your car is in park, when an automatic car is in park, is the parking pole. Now this is not a man called Paul who's all the odd to your car because that would be very difficult to arrange. Thank you parking Paul. You've done it again. Ah, but we have fun on here.
Starting point is 00:19:47 Sub-Pud. No, it's not a man. It's a small, small metal pin that locks into a notched wheel that's on the output shaft of your transmission. So it's got some teeth on it. This little pin goes clunk and then it finds a groove and then it clunks into that groove. So that's why you were describing that say you put your car in a park, you take your foot off the brake and it rolls a little
Starting point is 00:20:13 bit and then it stills. It's settling into one of those, one of the teeth. Yeah, so that's it, finding finding it spot in the parking parking parking parking parking parking parking parking spottings. the parking spottings. their spottings. their spottings. their spottings. their spottings, findings, finding it, finding it, finding it, finding it, finding it, finding its spottings, finding its spottings, finding its spot, finding it's spot, finding their spot, finding, finding it's spotting, finding it's spot, finding, finding, finding, finding, finding, finding, finding, finding, realize why like constantly in American movies people like getting out of their cars and their cars are rolling slightly forward. You guys haven't noticed that? Yeah. Always like, oh I'm getting out to get a coffee, bam, car rolls forward a little bit. What's the fuck's happening with your car? Well that's because they're not putting, any of the strain off with the parking brake. the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their strain their strain their strain their strain their strain their strain their strain their strain their strain their strain their strain, their strain, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their train train train train train train train train train train, train, train, train, train, train, train, tea, tea, tea.a, tea, te.a, te.a, thau. te. t strain off with the handbrake or parking brake, they are putting the entirety of it on the parking pole, which means you're putting all of the stress on your drive chain components there. I'm going to really quote to you from the website, Drivers Ed Guru, which sounds like a
Starting point is 00:21:01 terrible website, but honestly, it seemed seemed quite quite alright when I was looking at it. The parking brake is called the parking brake for a reason. You should use it when you park your car. Many people think you only need to use your parking brake, also called the emergency brake, when parking on a hill or if your car has a manual transmission. This is incorrect. Whether your car is a manual or automatic, the terrain is hilly or flat, you should use your parking break the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking the parking break break break break break break break break break break break break break break break break break break break break break break break break break break to the parking to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to has a manual transmission. This is incorrect. Whether your car is a manual or automatic, the terrain is hilly or flat, you should use your parking brake every time you park. The car is held in park by a device in the transmission called a parking pole.
Starting point is 00:21:33 The parking pole can break or become dislodged and the car will roll away. Granted the parking brake the car in place while it is parked and will help protect the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tranauaulaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxeaulaxeaulaxexau,aulauauauauraneerololololole is terrain is terrain is terrain is terrain is terrainterrainterrainterrainterrainterrainterrainterrainterrainterrainterrainterrainterrainterrainterrainterrainterrainterraintermoyoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoynoyn. the the train will. train. train is. train train train train train train. train train train. train train train train train train train train train train train t nonetheless. The parking brake will hold the car in place while it is parked and will help protect the transaxle, constant velocity joints and transmission. A parking brake is capable of a stronger hold than only putting it in park, of course you still need to put the car in park. Additionally, if your car was hit while parked, the parking brake would provide further stability, lessing the risk of your car rolling way. You should set the parking the parking the parking the parking brake the parking brake the parking brake the parking the parking the parking brake the parking the parking brake the parking brake the parking the parking the parking, the parking, the parking, the parking, the parking, less, less, less, the parking, the parking, the parking, the th, th, the th, less, the th, the the the the the the the the, the the the, the the the the the the the, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, tranne.e, tran.e, tran.e, trane, tran.e, tran.e, tran.e, tran.e, tran.e, tran.e, tran brake while your foot is still on the brake pedal and before shifting into park this reduces the strain on the parking ball. Now once I read that, it stops that little rolling bit doesn't it?
Starting point is 00:22:10 Yeah but I then started like I can't think of what like the muscle memory of the order that I do that in. I definitely put it in park first and then put the parking brake on. Yeah I think I do too. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the thi. the the the the the the the the th. the thoes. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoro. the. the. throwne. throwne. te. teeea. tea. train train tea. train train towa. train towa. toware. towa. the. parking brake on. Yeah, I think I do too. But I think I have my foot on the pedal for the entire... Yeah, so it's that entire series of sense. Absolutely, because otherwise it's going to roll away. Yeah. Something that also just like broadly doesn't make any sense to me about saying like, oh, well, the only time I would use that is on a hill is the idea of trying to make an activity that is so process and muscle memory
Starting point is 00:22:50 driven have discretionary components. Yeah. Yes. Like the whole thing with driving a car competently is doing the same things over and over and over again. Like, you know, doing a head check over your shoulder before you change lanes, even if you're pretty sure that there's fucking nobody on the road with you. Yeah, opening your beer can while you're driving without making the wheel squiggle. You want to practice that as many times as you can.
Starting point is 00:23:15 You just always do these things. And if you always do the brake, I put my car in a park or first gear, and I put on the parking brake, and then I get off the brake and get out of the car, like, then you don't have to think to yourself, is this enough of an incline for this to be an issue and should I put it on this time? Just do the same shit every time, over and over again. Ideally when you get in your car, if if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, if, the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. thi, thi, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the th. th. And, th. And, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, then, th. And, then, then, then, then, then, then, then, thin, th. And, th. And, wasn't on, you should have that same like expecting a stare but not finding it kind of feeling. I've been like, whoa! Man, it's just weird, Americans, a strange breed.
Starting point is 00:23:53 And if only there was some other way we could celebrate the deep, deep breaths of American strangeness. Ben, do I have wonderful news for you, my friend? It turns out someone, very smart and handsome, invented a segment, in which we will talk about this very matter. It is, of course, the Great American whole of name. Now, this is of course the segment where we explore the rich traditions of Americans giving themselves just very idiosyncratically American sounding names in a way that's hard to
Starting point is 00:24:46 define but it is just wonderfully rich it's a rich tradition now the way that we conduct this segment is I try and find long lists of American names mostly through major sports this week I have chosen a sport that is not particularly major. Are you guys familiar with cornhole? Yes. Now I am extremely pro cornhole. Theo you look a little confused there. I mean I'm familiar with my cornhole. How familiar? I mean I'm familiar with my cornhole. How familiar? I mean I try. I can find it by t I mean, I try and... I can find it by a touch alone. I try not to be a stranger.
Starting point is 00:25:30 You might know the sport cornhole maybe by some of his other names. Like bags, baggo, beanbag toss, dummy boards, dog house, sacks, beans, bean bag, bean bag, bean in the hole, ramps. And if none of those are ringing a bell, maybe, tou, tou, maybe, maybe, th, maybe, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I bag, bean in the hole, ramps, and if none of those are ringing a bell, maybe you know it by its other name, dad-hole. Kids, you want to come out the back and play dad-hole? Dad's dad-holing again. Kids, I've had six beers and I'm ready to chase you around the backyard for some dad hole. So cornhole is you've got a board on an angle
Starting point is 00:26:13 there's a hole in it and you've got a sack of what was once filled with corn but is probably filled with plastic beads now and you try and get it into the hole or on the board. I picture it feeling just like those you know the microwavable wheat bags. Yeah and they're real out there they've they've got a very satisfying feel too. Hmm. The lavender ones? Come on. No, just that wheat by itself. Oh I like the lavender ones. Okay. Each other. It takes all kinds. So to get this list, I got about like 1,300 to 1,400 names deep in the 2018 standings for the American Cornhole organization. And I was just down to regular people at that point, I think. Like, these are competition, well, I mean, they're entering contests, but you know,
Starting point is 00:27:08 these aren't, yeah, they're not household names. But without further ado, here are some of those names. Mickey Pope. John Hammer. Ricky Bachelor. Seth Drain, Austin Swan, Jerry Stallions, Eddie Rubel, Chris Tingler, Missy Box, Eddie Rubel, Chris Tingler, Missy Box. Hollywood Page. Yes.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Heaven Baker. Preston Street. Sorry, that last one sounds like like a, like some weird porno version of Kevin Bacon. Yeah, that's good. Tom Bobo. Bobo Lamb. Bobo Lamb. Sandy Peacock. Terry Trion.
Starting point is 00:28:12 Terry Trion. It sounds like a weird like 80s school ground insult. Oh you being such a Terry try on right now. Bobby Mumper. Tanna Halbert. Dawson Cleland. Dulson Cummings. Delbert Rhodes. Channon Thomas. That is Shannon with a C.H. Yep. That's someone's just taken channing and tatem and put them together They have Gage foreman Trenton
Starting point is 00:28:54 Breeden Brody Swink Brody Swink Bill Cotton game Cut a hip Cut a hip. Slade Tomberlin. Clifton Whitmer.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Tevin Maddox. That is T-E-V-I-N. It's Kevin with a T. Randall Garrison. Jackson Garrison. But that's Jackson spelled JAX S-O-N. You can't do that. Craig Arbogast, Craig Arbogast Jr. Dalton Hardy, Ace Rogers, Third Heiter. That is third as in the ordinal after second and heighter as in height plus an ER. Third hider. Cannon hatcher. Canon is a strong name. Berkeley pear. Berkeley is spelled. B. E.RK-L-E, Berkeley pear. DJ Long. PJ Trotter.
Starting point is 00:30:15 PJ Trotter. CJ Slug Ants HALS This spelled S-LUG A N-T-Z Slo Ride Cantrell Take it easy. David Diesel Dave Vaughan Tim Scooter Huffnagle, Terry Teebone Dawson, and I've got a final two names for you here, Michael Mann. Hmm. Beautiful. Where's Anderson?
Starting point is 00:30:58 Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Which I believe both of them to be the directors of the same name. Amateur Cornhole is on the side. That's beautiful. While we're talking about the Great American Hall of Name, Yeah. On that side that we all know and love Twitter.com. A friend of the show Kia who's Duck Honkin on Twitter was watching the baseball and he was like what's up
Starting point is 00:31:32 with the names on the guys from the Israeli baseball team the Israeli National Baseball team and I started looking at their names which which were all names like those classic Israeli names like Mitch Glasser, Thai Kelly, Scott Bircham, Nick Rickles, a lot of names like that, and when I started looking into it, it turns out that that pretty much all of the players on the Israeli 2020 Olympics team, so I'm looking at the Wikipedia entry for Scott Bircham, who played for the Colorado Rockies, some other teams in Major League Baseball. In November 2019, he obtained Israeli citizenship so he could play for Team Israel and baseball at the 2020 Summer Olympics. Then we've got Jeremy Black who obtained his citizenship in late 2019. Then
Starting point is 00:32:38 we've got Nick Rickles who let me see here it was on the roster of the 2020 Olympics. And so I started looking into it and they're all players who used to be in Major League Baseball, they're all American born, like Jewish American players, used to play in Major League Baseball. A lot of them went on to be in like a Team USA at various Olympics and stuff like that. And basically what happens is Israel says, hey, come over and live here. You only have to like, you only have to basically like visit Israel and we will give you dual citizenship pretty much immediately. So everybody goes out and hangs out in Israel for several weeks and then they say you're a citizen now which means you can be on our Olympic team. Which you know don't know if I really feel like it's super if it's super in the
Starting point is 00:33:36 spirit of the Olympics? No what they should do instead is have a mandatory two year and six month conscription into the Israeli Baseball Association. Now if they did that with everybody instead of the other thing. Instead of the other thing. Maybe they'd be, you know, doing everything. Who'd be? Be an improvement. We're just big baseball heads over here, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:05 Hmm. Are you tired of paying nothing for the same old superior quality free episodes of the Buntavista podcast? Do you want less politics and more content about diarrhea, or animals gone wild? You're tired of skipping through those hours upon hours of paid product placement for Mark Wahlberg film shooter? Boy, do I have the offer of a lifetime lifetime th th th life th th lifetime th lifetime th lifetime th lifetime th lifetime th lifetime lifetime lifetime lifetime lifetime lifetime lifetime to to to to to to to to to th for to to th for th for to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the their. I. I the the th. the th. the th. th. thi. thi. the the. the the the thea. the the thea. the thea. thea. the thea. thea. thia. thi. I thi. I thi.through those hours upon hours of paid product placement for Mark Wahlberg film shooter. Well, boy, do I have the offer of a lifetime for you. That's right, for just five US dollars a month, you too can be a premium VIP member of the
Starting point is 00:34:33 Buntavista Patreon. That's right, just five US dollars for all of our bonus episodes. That's over 300 hours of content from the hosts you know and definitely tolerate. I'll even throw in access to our glamorous and exclusive Discord server, where bizarre arguments only happen once or twice a week at most. Head to Patreon. Dot com slash Buntavista. Sign up in the next five minutes and I won't know because that's not my job, but you'll be enjoying the sweet satisfaction of supporting us and we will love you romantically
Starting point is 00:35:01 for it. That's my promise to you. Well, that's one kind of news. But on this podcast, is that the only kind of news you're going to get? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, several kinds. I mean, I don't know if learning about handbreaks is news or if that's just education. Infantatement. I'm so, I'm happy. I know where the, what the bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit bit is is bit bit bit bit is bit is the bit the bit the bit the bit the bit the bit the bit the bit the bit is the bit is the bit is the bit is the bit is the bit is the bit is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th. new. new. new. new. new. new. new. new. new. new. new. new. new. new. new. new. th. the the the the the the the the the that's just education. Infantanimate. I'm so, I'm happy I know where the, what the bit is holding it in now. Yep. And hey, you could say whenever you learn something, that's news to you. You know? Hmm.
Starting point is 00:35:39 So you know, you can learn things about, um, about handbreaks, about the Israeli baseball team. And of course, another category thaaaaaaaa, I tha, tha, thiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's thi, thi, that's thi, thi, that's thoomome is thoome is that's thi, is thi, thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeeananananananananananananananan. that's that's theananananananananananananananananananannenenee is thi. thi. the Israeli baseball team, and of course, another category of stuff. How was this still going? This is the segment that we call The Shipping Report. I'm itching for another edition of the Shipping Report. That is right. It's the Shipping Report. Our zero jokes, deadly serious catch-up of the last seven days in international shipping news. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:36:11 Ten 40-foot containers of rubber wood were swept off the container barge MCL Premier in the Andaman Sea, all of them washing a shore on several resort island beaches. Does it say whether or not the wood was still dry when it washed up? I did not see any information that effect, I'm afraid now. Because, no. the tho' tho, their the the the the the th, the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the their, their their, the the the their, their, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th say whether or not the wood was still dry when it washed up? I did not see any information that effect I'm afraid now. Because like that's gonna ruin that wood. It might yeah that'd be a shame. If it's dry that's great news. The bulk carrier Zen Juan should contacted the the embankment and catwalk of a, oh I'm so burby in the moment, Jesus, I'm gonna just start that one again entirely. The bolt carrier Zen
Starting point is 00:36:52 Juan Shun contacted the embankment and catwalk of a fairy pier on the Huangpu River in Shanghai while proceeding up river with a cargo of industrial sand. This motherfucker really fucked that embankment up. It's right in there from the cargo of industrial sand. This motherfucker really fucked that embankment up. It's right in there from the pictures that I saw. And that's quite a gentle euphemism when talking about a shipping carrier containing a contact containing industrial sand, contacted the embankment. Ah what? It set the embankment an email? To whom it may concern? I just fucked your shit up real bad. No joke.
Starting point is 00:37:32 Oh, I am sorry. Sorry. The general cargo ship Sam Boat 2 sank in Buda, Taiwan after strong winds pushed her into the port's breakwater. The typhoon in the vicinity I believe. That's no good. So what, does anyone want to explain breakwater to me? Maybe someone who lived on a boat for some formative period of their life?
Starting point is 00:37:52 Yeah, that would be a sort of a rock wall or similar structure that's used to protect the harbor from, you know, the outside elements from your waves and such. Oh so it's not actual water. No, breakwater is a wall. Hmm. Well there you go, I, hey I just learned something. That's news to me? The aggregates carrier Indy Nermatalia 07, carrying 2,200 tons of cement and ground on a coral reef in West Papua. Don't do that. I was carrying some bags of cement around recently, and let me tell you, this stuff's pretty heavy. Did you run a ground on a coral reef?
Starting point is 00:38:32 No. That's probably for the best. Did it fall into the ocean and form 2200 pounds of concrete? That seems bad. They didn't say. Okay. Whenever I think of running a ground on coral reefs, I think of the scene in Castaway when Tom Hanks is trying to get off the island and he gets washed back in and then he like, he stabs a big hole in his leg on a piece of coral underwater.
Starting point is 00:38:59 Hmm. Screams, like he yells while he's underwater. Oh, very, very visceral. You know those movie memories of like somebody getting like stabbed with something that just make you go, ooh-hoo, when you think about it. No, thank you. Like a, like green room, you know? Oh yeah, I mean, let's not even describe what happens in the green room, green room scene, because that is, uh, if you see it, real heads, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real wood chips, uh, wood chaps, the wood chips carrier Crimson Polaris. Wonderful name. Now that's a strong boat and the very cool name. Well, unfortunately, it broke in half off of Hacinojah Port in, and the bottom. And the bottom. That's not the
Starting point is 00:39:41 opposite. The back and the front both fell off. It broke off in Hachinohe Port in Japan after dragging anchor and running a ground off the port's breakwater. Andrew you'll recall the breakwater from earlier. At least- Now I'm tapping my temple now. I know what's up. At least one half of the ship was subsequently refloated. How? I have... Not much use. Yeah, you need both the end of ship.
Starting point is 00:40:08 I know much about boats, that's right, you need a front and a back. Can't just be cruising around in half of a boat. If James Cameron's Titanic taught me anything, you need the whole boat. And the whole door. I'm going to go start a Facebook account about that. And that should be your only joke. The general cargo ship Hagland Borg on route from Frederickstad to Trondheim was disabled by an engine room fire and taken under toe to Ida Haven. It's a shame they weren't carrying any industrial sand.
Starting point is 00:40:42 I could have put the fire out with the sand. Yeah, that's a good point. An unnamed 65-foot luxury motor yacht sank in Italy after it was hit by a wine tanker. No. Mm-hmm. Mamma Mia. So... So...
Starting point is 00:41:02 I'm trying... I'm currently trying to picture a wine tanker. Look out, it's 3,000 tons of Sangio Vese. Now I've giggled wine tanker and it's showing me something that looks a lot like, you know, the trucks that carry like fuel in them. Milk and petrol. Yeah. Or like the planes that tha tank tha tha tha tha tha tha thuuil thuil thuil thuil thuil thuil thuil thuil thuil thuil. thuil. thuil. thuil. thuil. thuil. Yeah. Oh, or like the planes that carry fuel in them except it's for refueling Italian fishes out on the Mediterranean
Starting point is 00:41:34 to get a bit low. I guess I'm looking at a picture of one now. I don't know if this happened to you as well because your Google algorithm might be different but when I googled wine tanker, the first result is the wine tanker that hit this yacht. Hmm. It's the only wine tanker. Cesarie. Cesarie. That's very, what an odd coincidence.
Starting point is 00:42:02 That's so strange. Oh, it's a, what I'm trying to... It's on, I thought the wine tanker was a boat. Yes, it is. Oh, I'm seeing images of trucks. Yeah, you need to put in wine tanker boat. Ah, one tanker boat, okay. I'm looking at a very fun truck though that is shaped like a big tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha that that tha that is a that is a tha that is a that is a thue that is a very thui that is a very that is a very thrue thruea that is truck though that is shaped like a big barrel of wine that's pretty cool. That is fun. So what I'm trying to picture with a wine tanker is are we talking about a like a if if they were just carrying like many many many cases of
Starting point is 00:42:38 bottles of wine it would just be a shipping container ship right when we say a wine tanker we're talking about like a massive hold filled with thousands of liters of wine, right? Yeah, and they're just dipping a hose in there. That's like, it seems wild to me that that exists if that is the case. Huh. Sorry, I'm just reading about this. They used to do it with beer where they would have giant purpose-built tanks that were just full of the stuff and then they'd unload it on the other side into barrels.
Starting point is 00:43:16 And it's wild. The first ever dedicated wine tanker was the Bacchus, a converted cargo ship launched in France in 1935 with the capacity of 337,000 gallons of wine. That doesn't seem right. Yeah, but what are we having after dinner? Uh, I do have... I do have...
Starting point is 00:43:41 Oh, a second tanker or are we all done? You guys, wait? Would you guys go another? I do have a... I do have a second tanker or are we all done? You guys, you guys, wait, would you guys go another? Yes. I do have a, I do have a news story here that may be relevant to our interests. It's one minute long and in fairness it is about the kind of wine tanker that travels on land. I know that this is the shipping report, but um, don't if you guys have one minute of time to listen to this. All out. Okay, here we go. It was a most unusual heist in California.
Starting point is 00:44:10 Started, it's going viral as you can imagine. All right, check out this guy in his underwear. He tries to overtake this tanker truck, which is hauling a wine, and the driver wouldn't stop because he's like, this guy is nuts. So he takes off, well, you can see the guy actually jumps on the back of the tanker truck, and then he starts chugging the wine out of the back of the tanker truck. All right, so this driver is like, police, you've got to haul this, you've got to get this guy off my truck. finally able to pull him over. The guy just said was, they don't know what was going on
Starting point is 00:44:46 with him. Nothing like driving around in your underwear, seeing a wine tanker and immediately thinking, I gotta have me some of that wine. I'm gonna immediately going war boys. I'm going to try to pull out in front of the tanker first in my 1998 Honda Accord and just slow down until he stops and lets me drink the wine. But failing that, I could simply jump on there and chug wine out of one of the holes. That's a pretty flawless plan when you think about it. I mean you need a
Starting point is 00:45:26 keen eye to notice that it's a wine tanker, right? He was all over it. Yeah. I mean kudos to that man. Good as to friend of the show, the man and his underpads who jumped onto the back of a moving truck and chugged a lot of wine. Hmm. And congratulations. Who says there's no such thing as a free lunch, you know? Dreams can come true. Dreams can come true. Oh, that's beautiful.
Starting point is 00:45:54 You see some wild things out there in the world. And you also see some wild things out in the wild. Like we do pretty much every week in Nature Corner. He's done it, he's pulled off the list of just how beautiful what I just, I just watched something truly phenomenal. Andrew miming an eagle taking off while Theo is miming a happy dancing crab. Ah, I just watch something truly phenomenal. Andrew miming an eagle taking off while Theo is miming a happy dancing crab. Oh, it's just beautiful when men feel comfortable to express themselves, you know? Oh God.
Starting point is 00:46:49 So what we're doing? That's what you are being who you really are for a few shining beautiful seconds. I've got to get out of here and go to confession. Huh. What I've got for us here is a story that a long-time listeners will recognize as a bit of a running theme, and new listeners, to you, I say, welcome. It's so lovely to have you. Hey, sit down. Sit down. This is from WGAL news in Pennsylvania, the Wagal. Search Underway for Marsupial on the Loose in Pennsylvania. Now that is of course Pennsylvania, the stateogal. Search underway for marsupial on the loose in Pennsylvania. Now that
Starting point is 00:47:26 is of course Pennsylvania, the state in America. Just to be clear, the search is on for a wallaby in Lebanon County, Pennsylvania. The marsupial has been spotted over the last few days in the Mount Zion area south of Harrisburg. Everyone wants to catch a glimpse. Each day I stop here on my way home just to look for it, Dave Berger said. Now Dave Berger, uh, good name. This is the only, wonderful name, this is the only sentence he contributes to this article and he's never mentioned again. We're not told who Dave Berger is. We're not told what he does or how he relates to this. How'd they get in toucest for them?
Starting point is 00:48:08 Is he just a guy? You're there? Calling up the newspaper. Hey, uh, you guys need to speak to anybody about that wallowie? This is amazing. Like, I guess, I guess he was the spot where people have been looking for him and they're like, hey, are you looking for that wallowie? And he says, you bet your ass. Now put this in the goddamn newspaper, each day I stop here on my way home just to look for it.
Starting point is 00:48:30 Every fucking day. Gamewarden Derek Spittler is also looking for the animal in the hopes of catching it. We want to do it in the safest way possible and we want to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get that waugh waughaughaughaugh waugh of the way way possible and we want to try and get that wallaby to a facility where it can be well taken care of, he said. Cocking a big rifle. Sharpening several swords. Some people are worried the wallaby could get hit by a car and the Pennsylvania Game Commission said a coyote could be a predator. The wallaby is mostly attracting humans.
Starting point is 00:49:00 I have a lot of people come out in the last couple of nights looking for this thing, so people are interested in it, Spittler said. You can keep a Wallaby in Pennsylvania with a permit. The Game Commission said no one in the area has a permit. I am honestly shocked that they need a permit. Yeah, that's a... Pennsylvania, I assume, a far-left state run by Marxists. Well, I mean, obviously the permit system isn't working, because there's a guy with a wallaby and there's no permits. Why do you need a wallaby in, you know, Lebanon, County, Pennsylvania?
Starting point is 00:49:37 Nobody needs a wallopi. Is this going to turn out to be one of those things where they pronounce it differently? Is this LabBannon? Pennsylvania? Because we got a lot of stuff about the Mackinac Bridge and I don't want to go through that shit again. It's true we received many many emails about the Mackinac Bridge fiasco. It's the worst. Honestly I'm not even looking at our emails right now because all we got over the last week was answers to Andrews' the the the their their their their their their their thes th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thecken. thecken. theckin. B. B. th. th. th. th. th. th. I've th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's te. It's te. It's te. It's tea. It's. It's. I'm tea. I'm tea. I'm not tea. I'm toda. I'm today. I over the last week was answers to Andrew's question about people detailing their public situation, which I'm very happy for all of you. I simply don't have the time to read the volume of responses we got. No, I also, I didn't really need to know.
Starting point is 00:50:19 I just wanted to present the idea that we are tolerant. And I think I successfully did that. And then when all the letters started rolling in, I was like, it's only so far. All right, the primary stress in Lebanon County is the the theb. So I think we're all right. We're safe. Okay. Americans, you know, they're just going to have their fucking, like, you can't just get a their their their their their their their their.
Starting point is 00:50:44 Americans, you know, they're just kind of have their fucking like, you can't just get a dog. Mm-mm. There's so many different kinds of dogs. We don't even keep wallabies here. No, if someone told me that pet wallaby, I'd like, oh, you work in like wildlife rehabilitation and you're fostering one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:59 No, I have it in my apartment in Kensington. You'd say, let it, let him go. Put him back in the bush where he belongs. Send him back to the wilds of Pennsylvania where he can roam free. That's right. I hope he's happy out there. Yeah, he too. He's a big guy from the photo that I saw. Big for a wallaby. Got a big boy. Small for a kangaroo. Well, yeah, but he's not a kangaroo, so he's not. Hmm. But if he was, be a little small side. My understanding is that once it gets over a particular size, it becomes a kangaroo. Yeah, kangaroo is Wallaby's dad. Yeah, it's like podies and horses. Yes. I know nothing about ponies. I'm not going to you know, you know, the, like the dwarf ponies? Like, like little, uh, shit on dogs?
Starting point is 00:51:52 Yeah, yeah, yeah, like those are just ponies the whole time until they die because they never got big enough to be a horse. And that's a shame. That's nature. Every pony dreams of becoming a horse. That's so true. Not for everyone though, you know? No. It's not for everyone to become a horse is what I said Ben. It's not for... Who's got the ball right now?
Starting point is 00:52:18 Who's gottaking ownership? Hey, a wallaby. Now that's a pretty weird animal to have in Pennsylvania, but you know what's a weird animal to have anywhere? The Humble Cuddlefish. Oh, it's normal to me. I'm doing a podcast the fucking joker. We need to be just about anywhere except like hanging in a Bodgy's cage.
Starting point is 00:52:47 Yeah, that's the primary place they should be. Yeah. This is a press release from the University of Cambridge. Cuddlefish retain sharp memory of specific events in old age, unlike humans. Study finds. Fuck you. Got us. Cuddfish can remember what, where and when, specific events happened right up to their last few days of life researchers have found.
Starting point is 00:53:11 The results published this week in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society, B, are the first evidence of an animal whose memory of specific events does not deteriorate with age. Researchers from the University of Cambridge, UK, the Marine Biological Laboratory, Woods Hole, Massachusetts, and the University of... God, France conducted memory tests with 24 common cuttlefish, Sepia officinalis, half of them were 10 to 12 months old, not quite adult, and the other half were 22 to 24 months old, equivalent to a human in their 90s.
Starting point is 00:53:49 Huh. That's whack. I don't think that's equivalent, just personally. No, it doesn't have the rich wealth of experience to draw on that a human being in their 90s would. Although, at 12 months old, you're Kate Winslet's character from Titanic, and a mere 12 months later, you are the old lady who's pretending to be Kate Winslet's character from Titanic. I don't know. I mean, she's... I mean, she's... I can already see the frustration on your face here, man. In the sense that she's acting, Kate Winslet is also pretending to be Kate Winsletz character. It's all pretend. Talking to James twe 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12 two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw tw two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two tw sense that she's acting. Kate Winslet is also pretending to be Kate Winslet's character.
Starting point is 00:54:25 It's all pretend. Talking to James Cameron. I thought that was a real survivor. Talking to James Cameron, so... Carrying her Emerald or whatever. So I'm playing Kate Winslet's character in the movie Titanic, yeah. But old? Kate Winslet is playing Kate Whittle's character, but old? Kate Winslet is playing Kate Whedlitt's character, but young?
Starting point is 00:54:47 Oh, James Cameron's giving direction to her. So you're up here on the deck, you know, everything's great, you're here with your beautiful boyfriend, Billy Zane, you got your whole life ahead of you, like a 12-month-old cuttlefish. Cuddlefish can remember what they ate, where and when, and use this to guide their feeding decisions in the future. Oh hell, man, I mean, that's me right there. You also remember where your food is. Well, I also remember if I ate at a place and I liked it, I say, hey, we should go
Starting point is 00:55:23 back to corbthe queue. Yeah. You might remember for a whole year. Yeah, get some more of that crispy octopus, you know. What's surprising is they don't lose this ability with age despite showing other signs of aging such as loss of muscle function and appetite said first author Alexandra Schnell of the University of Cambridge's Department of Psychology, who conducted the experiment in the marine biological laboratory in collaboration with NBL senior scientist Roger Hanlon. As humans age, they gradually lose the ability to remember experiences that happened at particular times and places. For example, what we had for dinner last Tuesday?
Starting point is 00:56:00 Hmm. This is, what did you guys have for dinner last Tuesday? Fuck? Hmm. Hmm. This is, what, what did you guys have for dinner last Tuesday? Fuck. I, it didn't work last Tuesday. I might be dumber than a cuttlefish. I think I'm, I think I, I'm a, are you dumber than a cuttlefish? I just checked my work calendar. I might be some seconds in there. Let's just see. Well, Karnay Asada tacos and I had about nine of them for dinner
Starting point is 00:56:31 while I was sitting in front of the TV. I was at the in-laws place and we had... That's in your work diary of course. And we had... No, there's a very regimented life. Two, two diaries at once here. Nope, can't remember. Andrew? Lasagna. Probably had lasagna. Could have been anything.
Starting point is 00:56:56 I've been in, I've been in lockdown for a week now and I've gone crazy. Crazy hot. Whoa! Because of what you've done with your hair, you look fucking fantastic. And again, this is an audio medium, but I need you to imagine that Andrew is cut his hair high and tight and he has bleached it blonde as fuck and it looks fucking sick. You look great. Thank you so much, Ben. We'll see what happens at work tomorrow.
Starting point is 00:57:25 So you see what kind of normy comments I get to work. When you hop on that webcam? That's right. Cuddlefish do not have a hippocampus. And their brain structure is dramatically different to ours. The vertical lobe of the cuttlefish brain is associated with learning and memory. This does not deteriorate until the last two to three days of the animal's life, which the researchers say could explain why episodic-like memory is not affected by age in cuttlefish. To conduct the experiment, the cuttlefish were trained to approach a specific location in their tank marked with they prefer and king prawn, were available at specific
Starting point is 00:58:05 flag marked locations and after specific delays. This training was repeated daily for four weeks. Then the cuttlefish's recall of which food would be available where and when was tested to make sure that they hadn't just learned a pattern, the two feeding locations were unique each day. All the cuttlefish, regardless of age, watched which food first appeared at each flag and used that to work out out the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their. their. the cuttlefish, regardless of age, watched which food first appeared at each flag and used that to work out which feeding spot was best at each subsequent meal time. The old cuttlefish were just as good as the young ones in the memory task. In fact, many of the older ones did better in the test phase. We speculate that this ability might help cuttlefish in the wild to remember who they
Starting point is 00:58:39 made it with so they don't go back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back back to to to to to to to back to the same partner. Such behaviors might promote gene spreading throughout the regional population's edge now. So they have developed flawless, beautiful memory so they never fucked the same fish twice. Yeah, they've developed the kind of memory that allows them to look at the door of a pub and go, oh, it's my ex, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, oh fuck, I gotta get out of here. I'm going to the other spot with the king prawns. I do prefer grass shrimp, but I don't want to have sex with that X again. I'm going to the king prawns. So that's just another way that cephalopods are better than us.
Starting point is 00:59:27 So I had that pure of spirit. That's true. They're a noble of intention. I think I mentioned this on the podcast, but last time I did acid I watched a lot of squid content on a TV that I was sitting three feet away from. And I just got the overwhelming impression that they're up to no good. Like specifically there was a bit where I became quite convinced that some cuttlefish I was watching were had developed some sort of evil priesthood.
Starting point is 00:59:59 I can't articulate that particularly well because I was on acid, but I was just like, yeah, this checks out. God, these guys are fucked. Try acid if you get the chance. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful drunk. Well if they were in an evil priesthood, that would support my decision to eat them. Thank you for your service. Yeah, whereas like everything I see while I'm not on acid, makes go, Ah, octopus's, remember your birthday from five years ago and bring you a gift.
Starting point is 01:00:28 And I'm like, oh, fuck, I gotta stop eating these guys. I've got to stop going to Corbycue and getting the crispy octopus. Octopuses are the most thoughtful, active listeners in the natural kingdom. But how does that make you feel about it? Studies have found that octopuses aren't just waiting for their turn to talk. They're also waiting for you, the opportunity to crush you under an anvil or maybe a large piano. Maybe. Once it comes around, yeah. But do we not deserve it? That's all I'm saying. Anyone who's seen the Jason Mamoua documentary Aquaman?
Starting point is 01:01:10 Wonderful. I haven't seen it. Wonderful film. You've got to support Australian filmmakers, Theo and watch. Taqua-Wattie. No, he's not even an Australian. James Wann. Director of...
Starting point is 01:01:26 Did you direct the first Saw movie? Did a bunch of Fastesses and Furiices? Haven't seen them. Yeah, it's fine, me either. I feel like I'm going to have to watch them all one day, but it hasn't happened yet. The Fast, Fast and Furiouses? Yeah, I haven't seen the latest one, but otherwise I've seen them all and I like them. I think I've seen the first, I want to say the first three, maybe four. Seven is a phenomenal movie. It's the best in the series.
Starting point is 01:01:53 I haven't seen nine, so I don't know. But seven you really get a lot of Kurt Russell shining through in a very beautiful way. It's Kerr us, the thus. Okay I'll th Russell, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that th. thus. that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I've th. I've the first, I've th. I've th. I've th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. Okay, I'll watch that. Big fella himself. Anything from the man, Kurt, you know? Aging like a fine line that man. Facial hair of the gods. He does, he wears a beard very well. Some of those moustaches he gets, like bone tomahawk and stuff like that.
Starting point is 01:02:22 Gotta love it. Beautiful man. That. Gotta love it. Beautiful man. That's right, folks. We recommend Kurt Russell. What are the things we've recommended so far? It is the episode. We got Kurt Russell, acid. Uh, putting your handbreak on.
Starting point is 01:02:40 Putting your handbrake on. Yeah. Leaping out of your car, just an only in your underpants. Yep. To chug wine from a moving tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank tank to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thank, th. tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to, to, to, toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. yeah. That's better. Leaping out of your car, just and only in your underpants. Yep. To chug wine from the moving wine tanker, yes. An act with zero downsides. Yeah, and really, isn't that all you need in life? Safe car, free wine, Kurt Russell, you know?
Starting point is 01:03:02 Deep, psychedelic experience that changes how you think about things. Yeah, I would like to do that actually. It's been a while. Well, I think that's it. Is that it? Yeah, I think we've reached the end of podcast. That's going to be it. It looks like we've run a little short this time. It's only one hour long.
Starting point is 01:03:21 I just did a guest appearance on the podcast 10,000 posts. That one went for an hour and a half. They were like, somehow every time I guessed on somebody else's podcast, it goes very long. And there's no way we could draw any inferences from that whatsoever. Nope. Everybody claims it's because of my calm relaxing voice. He is relaxing. They're lulled into a hypnotic state in which I talked to them about the Matrix and its many parallels to the modern world of posting and I explain how I think that if the Matrix was happening now Neo would be an anti-vaxxer. So please check out the podcast 10,000 posts.
Starting point is 01:04:09 Check out. The podcast 10,000 posts, acid, Kurt Russell, drinking wide from a moving wine tanker, putting a handbrake on. Joining the Israeli baseball team. And finally, check out shop.buntavista.com. Snag yourself a little t-shirt maybe, you know? Little tote bag. What of the other things we sell?
Starting point is 01:04:34 Hat. Hmm. Stubby cooler. Nice jump up. There's no stubby cool or something. Well, that's it for us everybody. Thanks very much for stopping by, and we will see you next time. Bye.
Starting point is 01:04:48 Bye. you to be

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.