Boonta Vista - EPISODE 226: Chromakey Peacoat
Episode Date: November 18, 2021The Queen is absolutely dead. Additionally: A cryptic missive in Paging Dr Lucy, an Oklahoman Great American Hall of Name, French Johnny English, a silent pervert drone, and new segment 'Mysterious Li...quid.' *** Story Mode: www.goodreads.com/book/show/54982960-story-mode *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at mailbag@boontavista.com! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello and welcome to Bontavista.
There's a today.
You've done that long before.
Not as vigorously.
Oh, okay. You've done that long before.
Not a bigger slip.
Okay.
Hello and welcome to Punta Vista, episode 226.
Oh, please stop.
Jesus Christ.
My name is Ben and I am here in a highly classified facility deep below London
or a team of highly powerful officials who, officially do not exist.
Just entering phase 3 of Operation, pretending the Queen didn't slip over in the shower and die.
With me is Lucy, who is currently pitching buying a decade or so by getting Judy Dench
or Helen Mirren to pretend to be the Queen, estimated that upwards of 95% of people won't
notice. Yep. How you doing? Good. The Queen is dead. She has died.
The Queen is so dead. She's extremely dead.
Oh my God. I forget that the Queen's dead and then I'll wake up and I remember, oh we don't have proof of life yet.
Yeah, every day you wake up and you see a post from the telegraph saying the Queen is alive and you go, oh the Queen's dead. Yeah, just a million posts that are like, don't worry, she's alive. Yeah, she's alive,
but she just looks like shit and she can't be on cameras. She just can't, her camera's broken
on the face time, she can't do it. Yeah, she's a little too much of an Argo at the
moment, so we're keeping her out of the public eye. I think it would be very funny to have Helen Marentressed as the Queen and you th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And you th. th. th. thi th. thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, her thi, her thi, her thi, her thi, her thi, her thi, her tho, her thi, her thi, her thi, her thi, her thi, she's thi, she's thi, she's the, she thi. She's thi, she thi, she th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the that that that that theanan that thean thean theanan thean thean thean thean thi thi thi thi th have thousands of British people going, there's our queen, that's what she looks like.
There she is, that is our mum, the nation's mum.
I love, do you think the queen got a bit sexy all of a sudden?
The queen's looking right fit.
Also with me is Andrew, who is putting forth the idea that we should just say she's having a very long nap
for the next six months. Yeah, uh, that's is that's is that's is th is th is th is th is that's is th is th is th is th is th is th is th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that is our th, th, th, their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, that, that, that, that that that that that that that that that that their their their their their their their their their their that we should just say she's having a very long nap for the next six months.
Yeah, that's one of my ideas.
I mean, we already went with one of my other ideas earlier today, which I'm pretty proud
of, which is that we would say that the Queen is entering a new phase and that no one would
see her until February. And, you know, like, and fair enough, most people would agree that like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that no one would see her until February. And, you know, like, and fair enough,
most people would agree that like 95 year olds
generally don't enter new phases,
unless the new phase is like going to God's kingdom for eternity.
You get to have four phases in your life.
You get one from when you're 13 until you're 19.
You get one from when you're 20 to 30.
Then you get one from 31 to 45.
And then your phase after that is your last one.
That's what the movie Phase 4 is about.
Check out the movie Phase 4. What is that phase she's like going to go into, like,'s just Scorpio season for the Queen. She's getting into like crystals.
She's having a whole season.
Astrology.
Yeah, it's sort of one of those like slutty astrology kind of things where you're like,
yeah, so I'm a scorpio and I'm sex positive.
Queen's having hot girl summer.
Yeah. The Queen can't come out right now.
She's got a yonny egg stuck so she'll be a while. I think she's feeling herself too much.
The phrase the Queen is entering is known as being sealed in a big brick of
lucite with her thumb up so that we can just take photos of her in different angles and say,
oh there she is, she's feeling good. She's getting the big pieces of dowling installed in her arms
and kind of waving them about getting the big pieces of dowling installed in her arms and waving
them about to the camera. Yeah, we've got one head doing a thumbs up and one doing a sort
of a, you betcha, kind of a point. Yeah, she's got a green outfit on so we can key in
different colored dresses in post. Oh, genius. The Queen's funny in a green moth suit.
She's wearing one of those Lord of the Rings Andy Circus suits. Oh, genius. The Queen's funny in a green moth suit.
She's wearing one of those Lord of the Rings Andy Circus suits.
Which is ironic because your other suggestion was getting Andy Circus to play the Queen.
You can always tell it's him, you know, the way he inhabits those movements.
It's weird that he's got the Queen doing the like gollum squat all the time.
Lastly, also with us, it's Theo, who has been building on the new phase idea and suggesting
that we should say that the Queen is entering a transitional period and provide no further
details.
I do like that.
And no one's bought in on this yet.
I know we're all kind of on the team transition here. Maybe we can th can can can can can can can can can can can can can we can th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the thi the tho tho tho tho tho the. the. the. thoom. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thee. theean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. thean. the. the. this yet. I know we're all kind of on the team transition here. Maybe we can somehow kill Princess Die again?
I mean all of us in this room as part of the British Deep State want nothing more than to kill Princess die more than once.
Yeah, we, MI69 meets once a month for the last 15 years.
And we figured out a way to bring her back so that we can kill her again. meets once a month for the last 15 years.
And we figured out a way to bring her back so that we can kill her again.
Not yet.
Technology's not there.
Ah, shame.
Well, see you're 18 buds.
Yeah, we're trying to get a two-fer with Monaco and fucking
what's her name up there?
Is it a shooting location? Megan, Megan, Markal? No, no, no, no. They they. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. they're. they're. they're. they're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're shooting location. The princess that, uh... Megan? Megan, Markal? No, no, no, they're in, um...
Oh, they want to kill her so bad.
Yeah, they want to kill her so bad.
She was an actress, and she kind of went, whoop,
off the side of the hill.
She's kind of thumb.
Yeah, that's what you're going to say that, that. That sounds good. Grace Kelly. Grace Kelly. Right. I saw a tomb.
I was going to say that, but I didn't want to be wrong and sound stupid, so I thought
I'd try to make Theo sound stupid instead.
Betrayal.
This is my eternal curse is to kind of like know thematically what it is and who it is
that I'm talking about, but have no space in my brain for names. Yeah, so you're smart enough to have Voop up that hill, nothing else.
See, I thought Theo would be making the deep fakes, which all of those videos of
the Queen are, right? Oh, the computer's busy doing porno.
Oh, right. I've got a disgusting video of the Queen you can watch if you like.
Yeah. Play a free porn game that Queen you can watch if you like. Yeah.
Play a free porn game that makes you come in 30 seconds.
The deep fake computer is on one of those like
1970s microcomputer things where there's only so many compute cycles to go around and you've got to share them.
Yeah, and if we get that working on making the prince, uh, making the queen look alive,
then how whole income is just cut off. Yeah.
It's like CIA when we backed out of Afghanistan.
As we know, Britain is in dire straits at the moment.
We can't get enough jelly deals shipped in for Christmas time.
People are lining up for petrol.
So we don't actually have the money in the budget to set up any super computers for doing deep fake stuff.
Like the processes are all too expensive. They're all, you know, you, you, you, you thiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you know, you thi, you know, you thi, you thi, you thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thiii thiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi, thi all too expensive, they're all, you know, booked out for Bitcoin mining and everything.
So we are forced to just put the Queen's face onto like the Snoop Dog app.
We've got to put her face onto Cardi B's body in the Wap video.
Yeah, we just got Blingy here in the UK.
So it's going to feel like, it's going to be pretty good.
Upgrading all of our government systems to Blingie.
The Queen.
Jealousy is disease, bitch.
Oh dear.
RIP, the Queen.
Yep. RIP, Blingie. 140 years old, still hot as hell.
Even hotter where she is now.
She's dead.
What do you mean by that, Ben?
She's in hell.
The Queen is in hell.
Because the Church of England is a false church.
Yeah.
Wow.
Everyone British is in hell. It's just, you know, that's true.
Yeah, because they live in Britain.
The living hell of the Britain.
If only they could get some sort of advice on how to fix their horrible, horrible situation.
Around here we do like to give out a little bit of advice on a segment we call Paging Dr. Lucy. You call 1,800, 3,17, 5,1, 5,5, now your page in dot-1cane.
Perfect little fart there.
And we do that live every time, thanks there.
Every single time.
This one comes to us by way of, uh, the part of the internet that has the most real posts of anywhere on the internet.
And given that everything on the internet is real, that's saying something.
This is from the subreddite relationships.
29 year old male. My ex, 30 year old female, told me to watch 500 days of summer in a text
message after two years of no contact.
Why would someone do this?
Why would someone do this?
Why would someone do that?
My ex and I were together for out. Either of I, but I get the gist.
My ex and I were together for five years and broke up about four years ago.
For the most part, we had a good relationship and grew up together.
I thought we'd get married, as did everyone we knew, but we had some struggles with depression
and eventually she couldn't cope and left.
We haven't spoken at all for a couple of years now, but two days ago to to to me to watch the movie 500 days of summer. Why would someone do this? Before you
say ask her I did ask her what she meant almost immediately and she hasn't
replied. For what I can tell it's about a couple who don't end up together so
why suddenly contact me about that? Too long didn't read what is 500 days of summer and why would next tell me to watch it after the the the the the the the the the the the the the movie the movie the movie the movie to the movie the movie the movie to to the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie to the the the to to to the movie to th tho the movie to tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. I I th. I thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. thoooooooooooooooo. the. thoooooooo. to to to What is 500 days of summer and why would next tell
me to watch it after two years of silence? Now Lucy, as the other person on this podcast
who has seen this movie, what did they mean by that? I don't actually know. It seems misguided.
Because as the person said, it is about a guy thinking that he's found the love of his life, and then them sort of happily, eventually being like like, th, th to th to th th th th to th th me th me th me th me th me th me th me th me about thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi to to to to be to thi to me to me to me to me me to me me me me me me me to me me me to me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me to me me me the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi.. I thi. as the person said it is about a guy thinking that he's found the love of his life and then them sort of happily eventually
being like oh no. We weren't right for each other. Is that what she's getting it?
Is she saying that I'm summer and you were just Joseph Gordon Leavitt to me.
You will find your woman who's in the lobby of the Bradbury building applying for the same job as you and she likes the same
Architecture or something and her name is Autumn I think which is really on the nose.
It's very on the nose. Yeah. I have to confess in my head when I was first reading this I was
confusing this with the other Joseph Gordon 11Eleven movie, 50-50. Yeah.
That's a very different film.
Yeah, that's a cancer one.
That would really change the tone of somebody messaging you out of the blue after two years to say,
watch this movie about a young person who gets cancer.
I was like, yeah, well, like I get why you do that, but also don't do that. This is like the classic, you may you, you may you, you may you, you may, you, you may, you, you may, you, you, you, you may, you, you may, you may, you may, you may, you may, you may, you may, you may, you may, you may, you may, the classic, the classic, the classic, thi, thi, thi, the classic, the classic, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, get why you do that, but also don't do that. Yeah.
This is like the classic, you may be a bit drunk or you're in a vulnerable moment, you're
feeling nostalgic.
So you reach out to the one where you were like, that was the one that got away.
But maybe she'd only seen the first 20 minutes of 500 days of summer.
Maybe, yeah, and she's fucked up. Yeah, and she's fareded. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah, yeah, thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. Yeah, th. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. toeee. to. to. to. the. thee. the. the. th. the. th. Yeah, she fell asleep halfway through the movie. It was like, I think I'd get the point.
Yeah.
Oh, I've been mixing up this and 50 first dates for like...
You have to watch 50 first dates, uh, 10 times to get 500 days of summer.
You know, I'm just gonna text all my exes later and just be like,
watch big daddy.
What?
And then not say anything else.
Watch eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and whatever it is they text back, just reply, sorry,
who is this?
Oh, fuck.
Yeah, just wait a day to be like, sorry, this is, I don't have this number.
And also, all the photos have been removed from my apartment? Yep, just wait a day to be like, I, sorry, this is, I don't have this number.
And also, all the photos have been removed from my apartment.
Very strange.
Message your ex and say, watch little Nicky.
And when they say, what does that mean, say, think about it.
If you think about it, it should be obvious.
Maybe this is just a prank. It's like, well, this will confuse the fuck out thathe number. We thathe number. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We're thi. We're thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the photos, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, all, the photo. the photo. th. th. th. th. th. th. the photo. th. the f. th. th. the f. th. the th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. the th. the the the th. the thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the this is just a prank. It's like, well, this is confused the fuck out of it.
We're going to really fuck with Steve.
He's just walking around the house,
watching it on his phone,
and be like, why?
I'm relatively sure I remember the part of this.
I kind of, I get what you're saying, Ben,
about having a little moment of vulnerability because I feel like a while ago,
some point, months and months ago. Me and my wife got hammered at home.
During the pandemic, that's what you're allowed to do, it's legal.
That's true. And I can't remember how we got to the conversation,
but I was saying that there was a song that I had been listening to and I was like,
oh this one, it really gets me because there was a song that I had been listening to and I was like, oh, this one, it really gets me
because it's a woman singing about her ex.
And some of the things she says in it really make me think, I was like that at times in relationships
as a younger guy and in our relationship as well, you know, when we were starting out.
Just things I was kind of shitty about. And when I look back at them, I go,
I'm like, I'm kind of embarrassed to myself
and I feel bad about doing it at all, you know?
And she was like, oh my God, that's so sweet.
And we had this big, deep, meaningful conversation.
And then like, a few days later on,
and she was like, I have no idea what the fuck the fuck the fuck the fuck the fuck the fuck the fuck you're talking about. I do not remember this at all.
A little soulbearing session later on she's just like no I three bottles of wine.
Okay well the good news is. You're talking about pal. You've market tested it with the market,
which is your wife and now you can drop that at any time and know it will work. Yeah.
Yeah. I can bring it back out, you know.
Yeah.
So, I don't know, maybe I have to watch 500 days of summer and then send her a message
about that at some point.
Yeah, do it.
Oh, you're the one that didn't get away?
Yeah.
You're the one I definitely should have broken up with.
I made the right choice there. I am thriving, fuck you, I just made you watch a not great movie.
Oh, so what was her name in the movie, Autumn?
Oh wow, look at him go.
I believe that the name of the woman he meets after summer is called Autumn, yes.
Yeah. Oh, fuck that.
Do you get it? It's because like life goes on and they like that that actress and-
You're so stupid in the first 10 years of this decade. So meet my new girlfriend's springtime.
Fuck you! God. Directed by the guy from Scrubs or whatever. I don't know.
I'll never watch Garden State.
That's my promise to you.
I'm relatively certain on a recent episode Lucy said the Garden State is good, but she's
got her headphones off right now so she can't defend herself.
What did you fucking say about me?
What, what is your opinion of the movie, Garden State?
Oh, I don't like it. Maybe that's surprising to you. Wait, what was the
opinion of the film 500 Days of Summer? Yeah, that's what I fought for. Yeah, okay.
Very different films. I had a different film. Sorry. I had a twee indie comedy about depression
and shit was the one that you liked. All right. I know it. Huckabees is a fucking perfect movie, piece of shit. Haven't seen it. Oh my god. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie. I was the movie th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Iabees. I heart Huckabees is a fucking perfect movie, piece of shit. Haven't seen it.
Oh my God, watch that movie immediately.
Leave this episode and go watch that film.
It's so good.
Oh boy.
I saw it with Steve Corel in it and they're in a van and the sun has colorliness.
And the sun has little miss sunshine. Oh little miss sunshine. A little miss sunshine. A lot. A little miss miss. A little miss. A little miss. A little miss. A little miss. A little miss. A little miss. A little miss. A little miss. A movie. A movie. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. I. the. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. this. were really the same kind of movie. Extremely tree indie movie energy.
Yeah.
My heart Huckabees is not that though.
It's a really good movie.
It's so good.
It's very good.
Yeah.
You probably the 15th person to yell at me to go watch that.
And I'll probably be the 16th and 17th. We can make this happen. So, alright, we're gonna get Theo into a new movie.
Anyway, 500 Days of Summer, a film where the characters have infuriating names.
Some names are not infuriating. Some names are just a pleasure to listen to.
To grease up your ear holes and slide them right in.
And that's what we do on this segment.
The Great American Hall of Name. It's the Great American Hall of Name.
That's right. This is a nothing but positivity segment where we celebrate the beautiful, wonderful American tradition of giving your kids
just the stupidest fucking sounding names that there are. And this week, thank you
by the way if you started listening to this podcast because you saw a
billboard in Yazoo City, Mississippi thank you very much. We're not making fun of you, we love
Americans. You're a beautiful people. These, these names, this week come from the team
rosters of the college football team, the Oklahoma Sooners, the team of the University of Oklahoma,
I believe, taken from 1930 through to 1970. And here we go. We're starting off easy here. Curtis Berry.
Fred Cherry. Yeah. Leroy Corn.
With a K or I see? That's with the C. God.
God, so cool.
Nehemiah Flowers.
Oh.
Gus Kitchens.
Frank Kramer.
Frank Kramer.
Every one of these just makes me imagine the sentence.
Please, Mr. Blank is my father.
Yeah, Mr. Kramer.
Mr. Kramer is my son.
Mr. Kramer is my father.
Call me Frank.
Hul ham.
John Funk.
Funk.
Funk. Funk. That's a sick name. That's a great name. John Funk. Funk? Funk.
That's a sick name.
That's a great name.
Mr. Funk was my father.
Johnny French,
which is of course the French export version of Johnny English.
I just, I needed to check just then that the the professional the professional wrestler Terry Funk
That that his birth name is Terence Funk
Terrence Funk sounds way better than Terry Funk.
But I'm saying is he's just wrestled under the name Terry Funk for decades and decades
Turns out that's just his name.
Sorry. I'm still stuck on Johnny French.
The French guy is a soon.
He's like a bubbling French guy at a suit.
He knows no fear, he knows no danger.
He knows nothing.
He has a pedophile.
That is the other big departure is that whenever he's like tripping and falling over,
he's not discovering the secrets he's meant to uncover, he's molesting someone.
Do not watch Johnny French, or as it's called in France, Johnny Francois.
What if there was French Mr. Bean?
Monsieur Bean.
Monsieur legume.
Monsieur legume.
Missio legume. This next one sounds so luxurious to me.
Larry Vermillion.
Oh la la la.
Sorry, can you spell that for me?
That is Larry spelled a regular way and Vermillion, V-E-R-M-I-L-L-I-O-N.
Sorry, my hearing is all off today.
Larry, the million.
I mean, Larry, the million would be wonderful.
Very luxurious.
Jerry Tubbs.
I love good Tubbs.
Jim Files.
Jim Files.
Love's computers, that man. Jim Quick. He's an asset. Mike Rush. Cash gentry.
It's very good. He's rich. I'm circumcised. That's uh. That's cash gentry. It's very good. He's rich. It's rich. I'm not circumcised. That's, uh, that's uh, that's cash gentile, like that.
Such a fucking idiot.
Bill Conchrite.
He sure does.
Chad Valance.
Oh.
Chad Valance?
Mmm.
That's good.
That's good.
Who wouldn't want to be fucked by Chad Valance?
Like if you came home and your wife was being fucked by Chad Valance, you'd be like,
I understand.
I get it, baby.
I would enter this into the hall except that this person was not American.
I used to have a doctor whose name was Dr. Chance Pistol.
P. P.
What a fucking name, I will never forget that.
As long as I live.
Should have been a professional bull rider.
Chance Pistol, God damn.
Anything other than like a GP.
Yeah, that's a name of a guy who fucks your wife.
Yeah.
I tried to get him to do it and he said it was unprofessional.
Chance Pistol calls the shots.
He chooses whose wives to fuck.
If you're lucky enough, Chance Pistol will fuck your wife.
We'll turn up at your house in his fucking red Pontiac with the yellow flames going
up the side.
A bathwalker.
Yeah.
So close. So close.
Throw the baby out with the bathwalker.
A-R-T-H.
Poth.
Possibly short for Bath Holmue, I guess.
Probably.
Weber Merrill.
Huh.
Don P-P-R-P-R-P-R-P-R-P-R-P-R-P-F-R-I-M-E-R, P-Frimmer.
Frimmer? Yeah, I don't like that. Disgusting.
Right, Phoebus?
Right, Phoebus?
Ralph Stuffle.
Ralph Stuffuffle Bean?
Oh, come on.
That is outrageous.
That's what's on the tape.
Yeah, my granddad was the stufle beaner in this town.
He stuffled all those beans for the whole, all the townsfolk.
They got their beans stuffled by my granddaddy.
W.D. Goins?
Yeah. I hope you live in a nice house. Wouldn't I be the funny story in their life?
American men be called Merle. I'd love to have a guy called Merle over there.
And Walt, you know, they got some names. Granville Liggins? Yep. Jeep Dewberry. His name is not Jeep.
Sorry, like J. W. P. You're absolutely right. Yes. Come the fuck on. So I, so one of the things like,
I have a theory and I don't know how this pans out,
right, but with these Great American Hall of Names.
So obviously the first names,
first names, they don't, they don't name people like they used to.
Yeah.
But they also don't have surnames like they used to either. I think people got rid of the embarrassing ones.
Right, or just like, or at some point,
you know, having the last name Feeber
became made you of like completely unfuckable
and your bloodline died off.
Oh, natural selection. Yeah.
Only the good last name survive.
No one's marrying Jeep Dewberry so the Dewberry line dies off.
Jeep Junior, come in here.
Laddie Birge.
That's good.
Laddy Harp.
Mm-hmm.
Boyd Bib.
Bill Hill.
Bill Hill, Plato Andros.
Excuse me?
Greek import.
Eaun Bergert?
It may beaert.
It may be.
So it's E-R-A-N.
Aaron Bergert. I think it's Erin because Americans can't say Aaron.
Oh, Aaron, yeah, Aaron and Aaron to them are the same thing. It's the same name. Harley Smalley? Yeah.
Kind of undid the coolness of the first name with the last name.
This is Harley Dinky. Jewel sweat. Oh fancy. J U E. L. Yeah. Prentice Gort. That was
straight a pinch on name. Yeah. Prentis Gort. That was straight up pinch on name. Yeah, 100%.
Bruster Hobby?
It's good to have hobbies.
Boots Bagby.
That's a three Tolkien type name.
It is, yes.
And this one's a bit of a thinker.
Richard Inman. And then of course, I've got to finish this the same way I finish all of these.
Here's a little quickfire, three names for you.
Dick Carpenter.
Yeah.
Dick Petticoat.
And lastly, Dick Favre.
No.
You don't have the name Dick Favor.
You can't say, hi, I'm Dick Favor.
And people would go, great.
Lovely to meet you, Mr. Favor.
What were you telling me for?
I just can't believe guys used to go by the name Dick. Like... They still do?
And Dick meant the same thing back then as well.
Yeah.
It meant penis, yeah.
It meant penis.
And you would just say, hi, I'm Dick.
It's me, Richard Dick Johnson.
Yeah, my parents called me Richard, but I choose to go by the name Dick Penese.
Yeah, tho. is Panisse I have chosen to go by the name Dick Panisse. Oh boy. What another beautiful assortment of names. I consider myself to be something of an
ethnologist for the American people. I mean I don't feel like you're really doing a lot of diving
into say the origins and the meanings of the names so much as which ones are funny yes yeah which is more important absolutely
interesting hi everybody it's me it's theo now I guarantee you I'm more afraid of
recording this promo than you are of listening to it so hear me out
if you haven't already maybe check out our Patreon it's a great way to
support the show and it gives us the ability to actually dedicate time to this thing. You'll get all of our bonus episodes,
it's over 300 extra episodes in total, and we'll set up a feed over there with none of
these promos so you won't have to hear this ever again. You'll also get access to our Discord, which honestly is turned into a nice and funny place full of thomen thia thomen that's Patreon.com slash BunterVista. Check it out.
Ah, segments.
I'm always saying this.
Yep.
Segments. We simply love to have them.
Although if you are a new or an old listener, you may be saying to yourself, this podcast just
doesn't have enough segments for me.
Hmm.
And when are you going to bring the Bernie Howdown or whatever the fuck back?
Oh, I left that off the list. I'm going to put that one back on there.
I need him to, he needs to run again for us to bring that back. The Bernie Brodown, Hoadown theme theme theme theme theme theme theme theme theme theme theme theme theme th th th th th th th th th down th down th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank, th. Thank. Thank. Thank. th. the, thi. thi. tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. to, to, thi. to, to, to, to, to, thi. to, thi. thi. thi. thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, the Bernie Bro-down-How-Down theme. Thank you. But when we retire one, we must create another or several more, as seems to be our want.
And so to that end, allow us to introduce a new segment.
This is formalizing a topic that we have discussed multiple times in the past.
Here to our hearts.
I can't believe, I was absolutely certain this morning
that we already had this one, but apparently we don't.
An official segment.
Well, please allow us to christen the segment officially.
Mystery liquid.
Mystery liquid.
Can't tell what color it is with a slick oily sheen.
What could it mean? Mystery liquid. I see some good that is forming
a pool on the floor. Who is it for? I'm gonna taste the mystery liquid.
I'm gonna taste the mystery liquid.
I'm gonna taste the mystery liquid.
Oh, can I just...
You just made that today.
I asked you this morning.
Oh, wow.
This is like, the one actual skill that is brought to bear in this entire podcast is you making themes.
Oh, wow. This is like...
The one actual skill that is brought to bear in this entire podcast
is you making themes.
The rest of us are just bringing nothing to the table.
You're our Lynn Manuel Miranda, for sure.
Love biting your lip.
You can get a little lip bite for us?
My kids keep watching the, uh, no good.
The Lin Manuel Miranda.
It makes it look so easy.
Just effortlessly sexy, that man.
How can anyone be that sexy?
There's an animated movie, it's like a little, little musical.
And my kids have been watching it a lot, so I have to hear a lot of Lin
Lin Manwell Miranda rapping.
Which is cool.
I'm sorry. A is cool as hell.
A hip, a hop, a hip-a-do the hop.
Something about someone, I didn't really know who Lynn Manuel Miranda was,
but then looking at his Wikipedia page and saying that his background is coming from a hip-hop improv group.
That explains just so much that's really incredible.
I am... Those guys have the best flow. You know? Yeah. I watched Hamilton. I watched
Hamilton so that I could talk about it on the film drunk podcast, the frotcast. Oh, what do you think? Vince Vanceini and Madlieb,
which is very fun, but when I put it on I was like, oh yeah, this is a Broadway
musical, so it's like three and a half hours long. Yeah. Oh my god. It's crazy.
And you can't even watch it at double speed because then the raps will become
unintelligible because of how fast they're rapping at normal speed. I really have to agree with the sentiment that the
that like the popularity of that musical came from being shown to an audience who had not
encountered rap before that point. Hmm. I don't normally like rap but... It's sort of historical as well.
It doesn't feel threatening when I'm here on Broadway, hearing this rap music.
Oh, when Lynn Manuel, Miranda bites his lip.
I feel a mystery liquid coming on.
This comes to us from WJBF News in Augusta, Georgia.
Residents living near Rocky Creek told to stay indoors.
Strong odor coming from the water.
That sounds bad.
Yeah.
It's a bad liquid when it's like, when you have to stay indoors even though the liquid's not like coming indoors. You're not near the water, it's not like coming down your chimney or nothing. It's not like to come down your chimney or nothing. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's the to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the though the liquid's not like coming indoors. You're not near the water,
it's not threatening, it's not like coming down your chimney or nothing. It's just over
there. That's a nominous liquid. But you still need a wall between you and it somehow.
Some things you get on you and they stink, but like you understand because it's made contact with you, you know? My, my parents were given some fish by my fish by my, the fish. It, it, it, it, it, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, the, the, thi, the, the, thi, it's their, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's their, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not because it's made contact with you, you know? My parents were given some fish by my father-in-law, but he doesn't do like the whole sort of vacuum
pack thing.
He just like puts fish into a sandwich bag and freezes it.
Like just a thin plastic bag.
And then, you know, stuff's getting tossed around, all that sort of thing. So they put some of that, like a bag of that fish in., like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, like, that, thii, thii, thii, thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin plastic bag. Sure. And then you know stuff's getting tossed around all that sort of thing. So they put some of that like a bag of that fish into
their fridge to defrost and which it did but then also all the liquid came out of
the bag and like went across one of the shelves and dripped down the back of
the fridge and went into the vegetable drawer and all that
sort of stuff.
Yeah, we had an entire thing where I took everything out of that fridge.
I took every jar, everything and washed it.
I took every shelf out and scrubbed every shelf with hot soapy water.
I scrubbed the entire inside of the fridge with hot soapy water and all that sort of stuff.
Weeks later they're just like, I open that thing and it's like a punch in the face.
Look this is going to sound wasteful but fridge is on Facebook marketplace and gum tree
like 50 bucks and often free.
People just want to get rid of them.
Oh she got a new fridge.
So you know some things like you've had that contact and you say yes I
get it I get why I stink now but it makes sense that I smell bad. Yeah but when
it's just like you can't go outside because there's some stuff somewhere in
your vicinity. Yeah that's no good. That's not a stinky liquid.
Augustified Department and Emergency Management Agency is strongly advising the public in
the area of Rocky Creek near North Lake Road and Commas Drive to stay indoors due to the
strong odor coming off an unknown substance found in the area.
That's a mystery liquid right there.
Those in the area may smell an odor similar to a petroleum-based substance.
Hmm.
Yeah.
So that could be petroleum.
Not petroleum.
Petrol, could be lube.
Could be anything.
It smells like lube out here.
According to a spokesperson,
Richmond County EMA is currently in the process of gaining direction from the Georgia Environmental Protection Division as to clean up.
Can you tell us what this is so that we can know what to do with it, please?
Everyone's just standing around in the like the silver ET suits.
Yeah.
Can we have seen this kind of goot before?
Nope. Emergency management is also coordinating with state and local
agencies including the Richmond County Marshal's office, Georgia Department of
Public Health and the Georgia Department of Natural Resources fisheries division.
Everybody is asking everyone else to be the first to touch the goop.
Just like pulling rag being like no idea doesn't goop touch. That definitely seems
more like a Department of Public Health sort of thing to do. Well the marshal, the marshal. The Marshall should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should should be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their the the tou. tou. the touch. the the the the the the the the the the the the the It definitely seems more like a Department of Public Health sort of thing to do.
Well, the marshal, the marshal should be touching the goop for sure.
Where a state agency and you're the feds?
The fed should be the first to touch the toup.
It's your jub.
Just task your tongue. Put a little bit on your elbow to test the temperature and then a little bit on your tongue to test everything else.
It might be the stuff from the Stephen King short story the raft but it
might not. It might be the stuff from the stuff. Hmm. It might be petroleum. It might be ocean girl. It might be the stuke into a puddle. What's the one that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that tun is tun is tun is tun is tun is tun is tun is tun is tun is tun is tun is tun is tha tha to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tha tha tun is might be tun is might be tun is tun is tun is tun is tun is tun is tun is tun is tip. tip. tip. tip. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. It might be.
Ocean Girl doesn't turn into a puddle.
What's the one that turns into a puddle?
Alex Mack.
It might be.
Ocean Girl could just hold her breath for very long.
Possibly indefinitely.
Oh, and she can communicate with whales.
One whale.
Get a straw and just suck some of that up and see if it's 90s TV sensation Alex Mac.
Yeah, can she make microwaves explode with her mind?
Jail for a sex cold or something?
Yeah, she's in that sex cult.
Yeah, she's in that sex cult.
No, that wasn't her.
No, that's someone.
I think it's like Allison Mack.
Oh, oh, wait.
Oh, wait, no, that's that's that's that's that's that now that's the chick from Smallville is in the sex cult, right?
Yes, yes.
But wasn't the chick from...
I've got to stop saying chick.
That's a terrible habit.
Something happened with her.
What did that bird do you?
Hmm?
Which one? Not Allison Mack.
Larissa Alenick?
Okay, what she do? do. Let's find out controversies, controversies, come on now. Personal life? No, no. She is normal
and well adjusted. She had a stalker at one point, that's that's upsetting. Oh, no, here is she had a
supporting role in Atlas Shrugged part two. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. You're canceled, Seth. Oh boy.
I really thought, yeah, really got some wires across there.
I would like to issue an official apology to proud objectivist, Randy and libertarian, Larissa
Alainic.
Is she actually a libertarian or did you just need a paycheck?
Well, the money was not good for Atlas Shrugged Part 2.
Hmm.
That famous Kickstarter project.
Allison Mack, on the other hand, she was in a nexium.
She was in a sex cult.
Yeah. and everybody watched it. I watched it and that was fucked up. I don't have time
to watch another fucking 10-part series on some shit that's happening in
Netflix so I just wait for everyone I know to tell me about it. Like oh that
Tiger King, that lady killed that guy or the Tiger did something. I think
I think um I think guys weird as per my long documented issues with watching very long stuff, we're actually on, we're
well into the last season of the Sopranos.
We're gonna do it.
Hell yeah.
Wow, you got there.
We're gonna finish a show that ended in the year 2000 or something.
But we did watch, we watched a little four-part documentary about like the multi-level marketing
scam that was the leggings, the people selling the leggings.
Oh yeah.
That was pretty interesting.
I watched all the Goop Show.
No, it does sound like Moana Jane though.
Lucy, why did you do that?
Why not?
Okay.
Yep.
What's the Goop show?
Aston answered.
There's a goop sex show.
There's a lot of like, yonny stuff in there.
It's like, Won'teth Paltrow come to your house and be like, this is why you're
fucking sucks.
Yeah, it's great. She's a fantastic. I love her, she's a psychopath. Some herbs and a Muslim rap.
You're gonna want to stage your pussy. Yeah.
That's just not good. I, yeah.
The the TV show I'm thinking of is Lula Rich.
Is that about Lulu Lemon? It's about Lula Rho.
Lulu Lemon, are this an Australian company? Sure. Sure. Um, no, they just make, they're the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their they're their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their he their he their heurge. Huse. Huse. Huss. Husse. H. H. H. H. Huss and a muse. H. H. H. H.e. Luloo Lemon, is that an Australian company?
Sure.
No, they just make, they just make like very expensive active wear and shit.
Was it Lulu Lemon that got done for saying that they're active wear?
No, that was Hilton.
Why do they all have to, why are they all anagrams of each other?
What the fuck is going on? But no, Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou Lou l l l l l l l lue, th. Lue, lue, lue, lue, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, is, is, is th, is th, th, is th, is th, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is th, is, is th, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thoo, tho, thoo, thoooo, thoo, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, they all have to, why are they all anagrams of each other? What the fuck is going on? I don't know.
But no, Lou LaRow was like a multi-level marketing scam where you said,
hey I'm going to buy some leggings and sell them to other people and they just shipped you like,
you said, I want to buy 30 sets of leggings and they just ship you.
He's like, they send you that but you don't their, their, to, their, to, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, they just ship you. He's a great, here's 3,000. You are us. They send you that, but you don't get to say like what prints you're getting on the
leggings or anything like that. They just send you that and you have to ship. You know,
you got to sell whatever you get. Oh man, I've got to sell a hundred shirts that
say I'm a big dumb fuckhead and my pushy is broken. I got the s the s the sw I the s the s the s the s the s the s I the s I the s I the s I th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got th. I got thus. I got thus. I got thirty thirty thirty. I got that. I got thirty thirty. I thirty. I thirty. I thirty. I thirty. I thirty. I thirty. I thirty. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm just just just theee. I'm just theeee. I'm just just theat. I'm just the. I'm just the. I'm just thi. I'm the. I'm the swastika leggings. The part that was that was particularly crazy to me was that so like it almost had this
sort of stupid like NFT type thing to it where because nobody knew what prints they were
going to be receiving and everything was done in a relatively limited run it introduced this
kind of artificial scarcity factor to it
where people would see someone posting on Instagram.
Yeah, I had these, this prints and people would be like, fuck I hope I get that.
Yeah, those look really cool.
I got 700 that just say diarrhea chick on the ass.
And they they were talking in the documentary to one of the designers who was like, I had
to make 100 pattern swatches a day to make like 100 different patterns of leggings.
And so all they would do was just like send all these runs of patterns
up to some like drop shipping company who they were stiffing on all their bills and
say give us another gives like 2000 in this print and 2000 in this print and
ship them all out in these random jumbled-up orders.
Absolute crazy areas big cult energy all that we're gonna do a
cruise together. Imagine, imagine if everyone at your office said, what if we all went
on a cruise together? Yeah. How about I kill myself? Yeah, I'd rather die. Yeah. Just
The good news is that you'd probably end up sleeping with that one co-worker that you've
thought maybe about, but you would also end up accidentally sleeping with two people that you would definitely
regret it.
Yeah.
And also you've got coronavirus now.
Yeah, you would also do it on the second night of the two-week cruise.
What's the thing you get on cruise ships wherero? I don't know. Yeah, Gastia.
Guardia. Giardia. Yeah. Legadia. Legadia. Yeah. Leguardia. I got a bad case of the effort to contain the unknown substance, or mystery liquid, includes setting up boons
along several portions of Rocky Creek in order to keep it from moving further southward.
Seems to be implying that it's...
Sensitive? Yeah. Why don't you just test the substance?
And also that it's like moving at like a speed that's slower than water should be moving as well?
Yeah, it sounds slow. We just have to try to the to to to to test to test the to test the to test the to test the to test the to test to test the the to test to test the the to test the the to test the to test the to test the to test the to test to test to test to test to the the their s s s supes to to to to thoonsonses thoonses thoonses thioms their their their their their their their their their their their their their s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s their their their their their their their thoonsonsonsonsonsonse the the the the the the the the the the te tea tea teauuooseaupseaunsusususususususususkeonsonsonsetsetsetsets the the the tooons like moving at like a speed that's slower than water should be moving as well? Yeah, it sounds slow.
We just drop it a little further up and when it kind of goops its way down there, that'll
be it for it.
So we work out whether it's edible.
They're setting up the barricades they use for the larva in like, John Taze Peak. I reckon they should like maybe push a cow or a deer or something into the water and see what happens.
Yeah, see if it comes back changed.
Yeah, or if it's like immediately subsumed by the goop and just a skeleton comes out, you know.
It could be FEV. You don't know until you push a marine in there.
Yep. See if it comes out super intelligent and 10 foot high.
Yep. Hmm.
You never know.
That cow's very proficient and heavy weapons.
What happened?
I'll say this.
I don't know how to transition to this next segment.
How about this?
How about this? Let's think about it for a second.
Hey, the only thing we can do with the mysterious goop, potentially from another planet,
probably.
Can anyone prove to me that the unidentified goop is not from another planet?
I'm waiting-
This might be a blob situation or perhaps a venom situation.
Mmm.
And it makes sense because, I mean, I don't think human technology has reached the point where we can make that sort of goop yet. Yeah. No, we can't make semi-viscous liquids.
Imagine how mad you would be if you were just being a huge pussy about dipping your finger in the
goop and everybody was like, you try the goop and you were like no, no and you missed the chance to have a venom suit. Yeah, tiny at the office. the office. the office. the office. the office. the office. Yeah. Yeah. We the office. the office. the goop, you try the goop, and you were like, no, no, and you missed the chance to have a venom suit.
Yeah, Tony at the office is just like living this life where he's always in the venom suit
and he always gets what he wants.
Everyone wants to talk to him about his venom suit all the time.
Could have been me. And he's like, oh, you know, it it it, it, it, it, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it. It's, it. It. It. It's, it. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It, it, it. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It, it, it. It. It. It. It. It. It, it. It. It, it. It, it. It, it. It's, it. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, tony. tiny. tiny. tiny. It's like, oh, oh, it's like, it's. It's. just hang out. Yeah. It's a very, look, I think this is a very pro-touch
the unknown substance argument. Just have a taste of it. Yeah. It might form a sort of symbiotic
relationship with you and also be sentient and also be... Does Tom Hardy voice both
Venom and himself in the movie? I believe so. I haven't seen it. I believe he does. That's cool.
Fun movie. I want, I mean like if I got a venom suit, I wouldn't want it to be like a
bizarre version of my own voice. I want it to be Tom Hardy's voice. I think it's just a coincidence
that they have the same can do with this strange unknown substance
probably from another planet is to observe it.
What better way to observe things from afar than with a drone?
Nice. Thank you. Sure. Yeah, all right. Okay.
Here is something which seems to be denoted as a segment, despite not really being one. Okay. Okay. We don't have a... Do we, wee, to the the th. to to to to to to to to to to to to the planet to the planet the planet the planet the planet to the planet the planet th. the planet the planet the planet th. the planet the planet the planet the planet the planet the planet the planet the planet, probably, probably, probably, probably to be, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, probably, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be, from, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, the planet the planet the planet the planet the planet the planet the planet the planet the planet to the planet to be, the planet the planet, to the other th. the other the planet the other the planet the planet the planet, the other th. th. the. to the. to to th. th. which seems to be denoted as a segment, despite not really being one.
Uh, dronely speaking.
Do we, we don't have a snuff.
We use the planley speaking thin thee thin.
We've done dronely speaking like four or five times now.
Really? There's no need to be rude to me.
Should I use the plainly speaking?
Yeah, chuck it.
Just put a buzz on it or something th or something th or something th or something th or something th or something th or something th or something th or something th or something th or? Uh, this is your captain speaking.
Please return your seats of their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of Plainly Speaking.
What have we got here, Ben?
Oh, you want me to read it?
Sorry, I was busy copying and pasting it.
Oh, you don't have to, if it's too hard to read that.
Sorry, I was trying to get an image for you guys because I was being generous.
If you look in the chat, so you can look along while this is being described.
And can the listeners look at the chat right now?
Nope. This is a story from Japan today.
Docomo, Docomo, not sure. Develops blade-free, thi-d. Dro, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe, to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. So, th. So, th. So you th. So, th. So, they. So, they. So, they. So, they-in. So, they-a-in. So-a-res camera and LEDs.
NTT Tacomo Inc has developed a blade-free blimp-type drone
equipped with a high-resolution video camera that captures high-quality video and full-color
LED lights that glow in radiant colors.
The drone, which uses helium to stay loft and is propelled by ultrasonic vibrations,
is expected to be used at events, etc, for practical purposes, including aerial
videography, as well as surrealistic standalone attraction.
Don't know what that means.
Docomo said it aims to commercialize the drone within the current fiscal year ending next
March.
I assume that the goal here is to have these gradually get bigger and bigger until it's just like the blimp from
Blade Runner. Yeah. And it's making big honking noises and then telling you you should check out
life on your four collars. And things don't go wrong with blimps or your ships as far as I understand it.
Traditionally speaking no. Traditionally I think helium is a non-problematic way to fuel an airship.
The blimps are really gaining in popularity.
They're really blowing up right now. Hmm. Because I got air in them. For the record,
the Hindenburg was filled with hydrogen, wasn't it? Yeah.
Okay. Well, I don't. And it also had like explosive coating on the outside of it.
Oh. Helium's fine except for the fact that we need most of it for MRIs.
And comedy.
Ah, but there's all that helium 3 on the moon.
There is that.
And if we just clone Sam Rockwell, yeah.
We could have a stupid looking little ball floating
slightly above the moon's surface.
But it has other advantages.
You could easily hit it with a stick.
You could. I cut just want to pop it. Yeah.
Unlike conventional drones that require propellers and sometimes wings, Tacomo's drone uses
uses helium to remain airborne and is propelled forward, backward and up slash down via small
modules that produce ultrasonic vibrations to move air.
The module makes little noise with its minute vibrations and is safe to touch.
So even if the drone were to collide with a person or an object, serious injury or damage
would be highly unlikely.
As such, the drone is ideal for airborne use at events, commercial facilities, other places
where people gather and your bathroom when it spies on you silently.
Yeah, it just floats on in there.
He didn't even realize you'd left the door open.
And here's that little guy, he's just drifting in through the doorway.
That he's watching you.
I didn't know what this was.
Oh, how, hey, how long have you been there?
Just slowly floating in there. Slowly backs out of the road. Hmm, I don't like him. Only noises the auto focus on the camera.
VZ-Zop, v.
What am I, just comically extending its lens out directly towards your penis.
Interesting.
One of my kids got a drone recently.
Just like a little, little one, there's no cameras or anything.
It's just got a little- You say that passively.
You got your kids a drone. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I bought th. I bought th. I bought th. I bought th. I bought, I bought, I bought throw. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi a little you say that passively you got your kids a tron I bought I bought one of my kids a drone
But yeah, it's not like it's it doesn't
Connect to a smartphone and it doesn't have a camera on it or anything like that. It's just little little remote control thing with a little
Control thin and everything and it's very small and lights up with lots of LEDs and stuff like that and it's like small and something a kid can pilot. Something an eight-year-old can
steer around, you know. And it's still loud as fuck. Yeah, so loud. Oh, they're very
loud. Drones are very frivolous, I don't care for them. We don't need them.
I'd prefer that we didn't have them.
Think of every drone that you know.
Name a good drone.
Name a drone that's helping people.
Name one good drone that you like.
Do you reckon Walley as a drone?
I haven't seen it.
He's a robot. Yeah. I think you have to be remotely piloted to qualify to to to qualify to qualify to qualify to qualify to qualify to qualify to qualify to qualify to qualify to qualify to qualify to qualify to qualify to qualify to qualify to qualify to qualify to to to to to to to to I think you have to be remotely piloted to qualify as a drone.
And it would be weird if there was a little man sitting in a room somewhere that was controlling the little, the little wall-the-guy.
Yeah, and if it's sort of flying by itself, but autonomous, that's a sentinel.
Yes. And it's there, and they will just monitor. And it's there to protect the Halo installation that it's in.
And it's got a name like,
Penitent Architect or Patient Orthodontist.
A bit a while since I played those games.
Haven't played any since, Halo 3.
Don't know what's happened since.
No, me either.
But I will one day go and read the Wikipedia article about the Four Runners from the Halo
series and be like, oh that's cool.
Nice universe you made there, Bungy.
Yeah, I'm also never played Halo.
The Halo Universe is a world entirely different from ours, other than the fact that it is, I mean it is just our world in the future. Anyway it's an entirely tielylylylyly thelly thea thea th. thiiiiiiiii th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi. thi. thi. thi th. I's th. I's th. I' th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. th. I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. th it is just our world in the future. Anyway, it's an entirely different world from ours and there's another world.
It's entirely different to ours. And that is of course, the Netherlands.
Everybody, I'm from Holland. Isn't that beer? It is weird. It is weird. It's so weird. It's So weird. So this is a little, this is a little
follow-up to something we talked about at length in episode 180 Battlefield Urk, which was
that for some reason at New Years, everything goes to shit in the Netherlands. It becomes a little riot, you know. A series of
cross-country riots where everyone's just blowing their own hands off, try to destroy people's
homes with fireworks for some reason. It's absolutely not. So this is a little follow-up to that. This is again
from the one, the only, Dutch News.NL.
Cabinet considering New Year fireworks banned to save hospitals.
It's the only way.
Yep. New Year fireworks could be banned for the second year in a row after the cabinet asked the outbreak management team for advice on the safety implications.
The government announced on November 8th last year that fireworks would not be permitted
to prevent the health care system being overburdened.
They are, just for some context, the Netherlands recorded like 100,000 COVID cases in one day this
week.
Oh my god.
Yeah, they're not having a good time over there.
And all of that... But yet, all of those people in the ICU are going to have to get
ejected because there's a bunch of guys who have blown their heads in half with Roman candles. I think the other issue is that when you are in a weakened state from COVID,
you are especially susceptible to fireworks attacks. Oh. Oh. Oh, th, th, th, th, oh, oh, th, oh, th, oh, th, oh, th, oh, th, oh, oh, th, oh, th, oh, oh, oh, thi, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, thi. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, th. Oh, th. Oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, theat, theateat, that, thateat, that, that, that, thateat, that, that, that, that, Oh yeah, that's right, you take additional explosive damage.
The number of injuries treated in emergency departments was 75% lower last new years.
Tured Defarber, the chair of the Dutch Obstowick community told RTL news.
News.
The medical evidence has shown that a ban works, he said.
Hasn't completely eliminated the firework damage, clearly.
FNV Zorg and Weld-Zion, the health care branch of the largest Dutch trade union,
also called on the government municipalities and citizens to take responsibility over new years,
which is the busiest period of the year for the emergency services. Pressure on hospital staff is already immense. It's playing with fire to put more
demand on these caregivers through irresponsible behavior, a spokesman said. The government tighten
the rules on fireworks earlier in 2020 to ban the most dangerous types, including rockets and firecrackers.
In 2019, almost 1,300 people went to hospitals or their family doctor with fireworks related
injuries in friction years.
That's really something.
That's so awesome.
Being like waiting until the next day until your GP opens and being like, hello doctor,
I have blown off two of my fingers.
Just, so just for context, as of 2020, the population of the Netherlands was 17.5 million people.
Considerably...
That's quite a lot.
Like, that's a lot of firework injuries, huh?
Like, imagine in Australia, if in the news they were like, over a thousand people were
severely injured by fireworks yesterday.
Yeah. And we got a lot more people than that. A lot less fireworks.
Leo Gerneveld of industry body BPN argued that the new rules made a total ban unnecessary.
All we have now is ornamental fireworks which are safe if they use properly.
So they still had, what was that, so a 75% reduction on 1300, so a quarter of that, 350, 325 people
were still injured by fireworks with the firework ban.
There's too many people.
Yeah, and also your hospitals are all overwhelmed because of the novel coronavirus.
It's been really weird looking at Dutch news every week as I do.
Just watching them go back and forth constantly where they're like, good news, music festivals
are open.
Oh no, we just recorded the most coronavirus deaths.
Oopsy.
Oopsie.
Oopsie, whoopsy indeed.
So good luck to them.
On not setting the country on fire and for also recovering
from the devastating impacts of the novel coronavirus both short-term and long.
I think the novelty is sort of worn off at this point. Yeah. This is the normal coronavirus now.
Honeymoon periods over. I'm starting to feel a little resentful, to be honest.
Yeah.
I've got the 24-month itch.
I'm desperate for a different pandemic.
Don't say that.
Oh, another one.
They found some smallpox vials just in a drawer somewhere in America.
Oh, yeah. So we might, you know.
That's exciting. More on that, you know.
Next week. Next week. Ben, I saw a little thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm thi, I, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I th. I th. I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm thi. I'm thi, I thi, I'm thi, I'm thi, I've thi. I've thoo. I'm tha''eeat, thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi, so... That's exciting. More on that, you know. Next week.
Next week.
Ben, I saw a little while ago,
I was observing your behavior online as I do,
like you watching the Dutch.
What a strange way to describe whatever it is you've done.
And, um, you, you were commenting on the vaccination rate in the US and how like when they started
vaccinating people, I was watching that.
Yeah, they were way out in front.
God damn, they are vaccinating a lot of people really fast.
Clearly they have decided, like the lockdown thing has failed. Containment is a total failure.
Yeah. They were nailed it. Yeah. Yep. That diseased monkey has bitten Dustin Hoffman and it's all pop enough.
And you know so their rate was absolutely crazy and then like I think it really felt like Australia was just kicking that can down the road and dawdling and like haggling over the price of the vaccine.
We're still sort of like hitting the little primer button on the motor mower engine that is our vaccine supply. Yep. And sort of pulling it as kind of like smoke coming out, etc.
And so since then...
Do you want to, no sorry, do you want to spend more time on your mower metaphor there?
Yeah, go on.
I think I think I landed that and we're...
Okay.
We spent a while yanking the cord, then our arms started to get a bit sore and we said, I'll let
that sit for a minute. I'll let that sit. Maybe it's flooding. A neighbor popped over the head and started yelling,
oh, you're fluttering it.
No, you're fluttering it, back.
You're like, no, it always does this.
It always does this.
It's fine.
You're gonna have to put it up. That represents the AstraZeneca failed PR campaign.
Yeah, the, um, the stroll out.
The word of the year.
Not acknowledging.
I'm always saying this.
I'm always saying this.
Nice stroll out, Scomo.
Oh, Scottie for not getting.
Good. I, no, I'm not going to be drawn on this.
If you have tuned into the podcast as a result of seeing a billboard in Yazoo City, Mississippi,
we are talking where Australia is.
We are talking about our Prime Minister.
So yeah, it really felt like we were like back were, we were like, back of the queue,
we were doing a terrible job, it was all going very slowly.
Um, but now it just seems like America got to about half of the country, and then
everyone went, no, I'm good.
Yeah.
They really did.
Like, they hit the ceiling.
Those people that are not vaccinated are not going to get vaccinated. We've figured out who wants to get vaccinated and who doesn't and that's the end of that.
Like Australia is obviously going to taper off hard as well once we get to everyone that's
open to the messaging and stuff but we are already-
the people who are currently doing the demonstrations in front of Town Hall in Victoria with the
the gulletine. The effigy of the premier and they're putting him up in the in the in the in the gallows
Yeah, yeah, that's pretty cool.
Yeah, but now you need the name you need the vaccine to go to the pub so yeah fucking a better fine. You want to find a bloody get it fucking he's reaching through the window fingers stretching out for a pipe and like, come on. Oh fuck it all. I'm in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the th. th. the th. th. th. th. In th. In th. In th. th. Yeah, in. Yeah, in. Yeah, in th. Yeah, in th. Yeah, in, in, in, in, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you, you, you, you, you, you, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, you's, the, the, i, i. Yeah, the, the, the, the, the. Yeah, the. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. like, come on. Oh, fuck it all out. I'm getting a jab. Geez, you got me.
You got me.
So I'm in, I'm in, I'm in the Australian capital territory
and I think that they, they've basically stopped
counting at like 97-ish percent.
All right.
Just a little, little ACT break.
Oh, I'm not up there in Queensland, begging 20% of people to get a bloody vaccine.
Yeah, roast them.
Fuck it, I don't know about that.
Destroy them.
Mmm.
But yeah, in the states, it just seems like half of the population has decided which,
which side their bread's bottled on, you know?
Yeah.
And good luck to you. And for some of those people, it's on the bottom. Good luck to you guys with the no longer novel
coronavirus. Yeah. Hmm. Get your booster shots. That's what I'm saying. Yep. Because you're
gonna need them, pal. Well, that's it for us this week. Thank you for joining us to discuss unexplained
goop-like substances, terrible relationships. Very funny names. If you've got a
funny name, try chuckling. Okay, sorry this is, I don't even know if this is mean to
single the person out, but someone emailed us a great American Hall of Name
suggestion which I get a lot of these and maybe I should compile them because
mostly it's kind of pointless to just send me one. I can't do anything with just
one.
Oh god damn it who was it?
They always... Someone with a very classically American name sent me through one and I was just like,
you can't have a funny name yourself and send one through and pretend like your name isn't funny.
I wish I could find who it was. God damn it, this is going to annoy the shit out of me.
Anyway, what a wonderful story I've just told. We loved to hear it.
Oh, sorry, no, I found it.
Okay, it's not that funny.
His name is Logan Freiborn.
That's pretty good.
That's a June-ass name.
Yeah.
Thank you, Logan.
Thank you, Duncan, Idaho.
Well, that's it for us.
Thank you for joining us.
We love each and every one
of you dearly and individually based on your own merits and qualities. Yeah.
And we'll see you all next week. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. the