Boonta Vista - EPISODE 233: The G-String Of My Deceased Mother
Episode Date: January 20, 2022Lucy, Theo and Ben get into: The infamous Pittsburgh toilet, Dutch hamsters sneaking covid into Hong Kong, a deeply unfortunate coffin swap, the limits of masturbation, and a man torn about selling hi...s shitty cars to the Taliban. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at mailbag@boontavista.com! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Great. Hello, welcome to Buntavista episode 233.
I'm Theo and I have the night off.
My wife has packed my son Finn in the car and driven to the in-laws for a visit.
So I've just got a podcast with my buds and then free time.
So we're talking like 5 p.m. all the way up until whenever it is that I decided to go to
sleep with absolutely zero responsibilities.
I'm thinking maybe, you know, I do a few chores first up, listening to strapping young
lad, kind of just like, fucking wild and out around the house.
And then like once I'm satisfied that I've at least sort of made
myself a little bit productive and that kind of thing, might sell in for some Sakiro.
Maybe I'll meet, I'll beat Madame Butterfly. See what's next. If I'm not looking for something
so intense, maybe I can kind of switch over to inscription, pretty cool little card game
with some mystery going on there.
Maybe I can do some game development for myself. So like, I mean the world's my oyster
all kind of sounds, sounds kind of ideal to me. But wouldn't you know it? Hovering above my left
shoulder is a horrible little devil with a shitty little pitchfork. It's Lucy.
Hey Lucy. Hey man, you should have a brus pitchfork. It's Lucy. Hey, Lucy. Hey, man.
You should have a brusky.
Yeah, now, I reckon that's a good start.
And also, what you were telling me before
is that instead of like relaxing and enjoying myself,
maybe I should like think of things I did in my teens or 20s,
and then like regret those things.
Like maybe hyperfixate on specific th, th, th, th, th, th, and th, or 20s and then like regret those things? Like maybe hyperfixate on specific events and try and extract new and horrible meanings
from my memories of them? Can you tell me more about that?
You should like go all the way back. Like you should think about things you did as a child that you're
embarrassed about. Oh, I've been thinking a lot like lately, not like to great depths, but I haven't like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, like, like, like, like, to great depths, but I haven't really had the time. And this evening, I've got time to explore it a bit more,
that maybe I really like harmed my relationship
with my parents by being such a shitty little child.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
You should really dwell on that.
Really fixate on that.
You've got a lot of time.
Go deep. You know, think of anything you did that you might have disappointed your parents or otherwise completely damaged your relationship within and thus your relationships with everyone else in your life and future.
I reckon I can probably come up with a few things.
Probably like prepare a little mental list and then go and have a shower and that
will just like last for like 35 minutes while I'm just sort of standing motion
thinnking, turning memories over in my mind and that sort of thing. Great idea. All right, well that's one option. So I've got enjoying
myself spiraling into regret and also hovering above my right shoulder is another
horrible little devil also with a shitty little pitchfork it's Ben and Ben
you were saying to me, don't
listen to Lucy, instead try and think of some new things I could be regretting about my
current life. Now that doesn't sound fun to me. I've got some other fun things that are,
you know, on the possibility list. Can you give me the elevator pitch real quick? Oh, sure. Well, obviously you've got so many so many things thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin thin thin thin thin to to thin to to to to thi to thi to thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi things that you could be doing tonight, right? Yeah. Like so many. But you only have a finite amount of time to do them in it.
Only so much.
So I also want to kind of spend that time wisely.
Yes, and it's really important that you spend this time wisely
because how many nights like this are you going to get off?
This year?
Yeah. the perfect thing. You know what the worst thing in the world would be? Oh fuck you. Is that if you spent your whole night thinking about what the perfect thing was
instead of picking the perfect thing, wouldn't that be terrible?
So what if I like opened steam?
And you know I'd already said, look, hey, Sikiro, inscription,
both good options. But what if through see if there's anything on sale,
nothing really there.
And then maybe if you did that for 45 minutes, then you went, no, no, no, no, I've actually
been doing this for too long.
Maybe I should do something shorter and I should go watch a movie and then you could
go and you could sit in front of the TV flicking through Netflix or Plex or any of the services
and then you could spend two hours trying to pick right movie and then it could be too late.
It's too early to go to bed but it's too late to start something.
So maybe maybe should just fall asleep there on the couch.
Beer open but untouched because you've been too stressed to drink it. I'm think that so so far so so so so so so so so. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi. thi thi thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. to try.to drink it. I'm thinking that so far so good just a couple of comments there.
Okay.
We do risk we do risk in this scenario actually like not achieving anything
productive whatsoever so what I'm thinking is keeps a movie but then beforehand I set up
bit torrents so that I download a copy of Ableton live.
Yeah because I don't currently have it in my in my setup.
I don't actually have Bitcoin on my laptop so I probably have to look
at best, sorry Bitcoin, BitTorrent, sorry. So I probably have to look at like best
bit Torrent client for Mac OS. You might want to... Yeah you'd probably want to go
into the Discord and then ask people hey what what turrant sites we're using these days?
Which turrent clients are the best ones and then wait an hour while they devolve into some
weird argument.
Is Switil and still the VPN end point that you want to kind of connect to, to avoid
your, like being logged by government trackers and that sort of thing. Is the guy that runs this Pirate Bay proxy a pedophile.
Yeah.
Yeah, or just a drug trafficker.
Yeah.
Can I just make like a little another suggestion, kind of left field?
Yeah, we're sort of in brainstorming mode.
Yeah, so you could choose.
I've got all night.
You could choose the perfect movie to watch on Netflix, but while you do that, what you could do is open your phone and open the app Twitter.
Because you might be like, you might need a little more stimulation, a little more mental
stimulation and you could scroll a thread of people arguing about something that makes like,
it makes you want to not be alive anymore and just keep reading that.
Check out the replies to a Scott Adams tweet or something. And then you could start scrolling through the profiles of the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the people, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. You might, thi. thi, thi, then you could start scrolling through the profiles of
the people who reply to those things favorably. And then you could realize
that you've entirely missed the movie heat the whole time that it's been on the
TV. And that movie is three and a half hours long. It's 11 p.m. But you certainly
learned a lot about the beliefs of a guy called Patriot Dilbert. Oh, bless.
Oh, it sounds like I've got a really cool and fun night ahead of me.
You know what, earnestly my secret to getting through those nights is the nights where you have
free time, which is such an insane thing to complain about, is that I make sure I put in
the work during the day of setting in stone to the things that I'm going to do that night
That's good and having the movie chosen I have it already downloaded and ready to go or whatever
So I just I cook my dinner have a lovely time doing that. I sit down I watch the movie and I go oh, I might read my book for a bit and then bam I don't spend the whole night just being like, what if I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the movie the the movie I'm the movie I'm the movie I'm the movie I'm the movie I'm the movie I'm the movie I'm the movie I'm the movie I'm the movie I'm the movie I'm the movie I'm the movie I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the th th that. the th the the the the the the the movie I'm the the the the the movie I'm the movie I'm just just the movie I'm honestly think that that's the that's the girl.
I think I'm gonna, there's no phone, gonna put that on charge.
Yeah.
Gonna put, again, microwave or might even oven,
because I've got, we'll finish this podcast just before five.
So I'll be able to heat the leftover pasta bake up in the oven.
Oh, that's nice.
Nice. That's nice. Yeah, pop open my 12-year scotch, play some Sekiro, and then read some Arkady Renko,
hard-boiled Russian detective until I fall asleep.
Yeah, that classic bachelor lifestyle.
Yeah, so fuck the both of you for suggesting I go off on a spiral of regret and negativity.
And if we've engaged with you enough on this intro,
we've hopefully actually made your paranoia worse.
You have made a hell of your own making where you're asking two people to improvise ways to make you feel bad.
Two people that know you well as well, that seems to mean.
Yeah, this podcast can be pretty strange sometimes, but it's not the strangest place.
The strangest place is the Netherlands. It is time of course for the segment either
known as Dutch Watch or Netherlands Corner or Netherlands Watch or Dutch Corner.
And this is where I would put the theme.
Tell me, buddy, I'm from Holland. Isn't that beer?
You would. But maybe it will. Maybe I won't. Maybe I will.
You'll find out, the listener. This is from our dear, treasured friends at Dutch News.
NNL, except no substitutes.
Hong Kong officials try to track down Dutch hamsters with COVID.
So far, so good.
Mm-hmm. Yeah. The authorities in Hong Kong are anxious to trace the whereabouts of
hamsters reportedly imported from Netherlands, which may be infected with coronavirus.
What?
What?
I remember that period in like February, I'm going to say last year, where it was kind of
like, maybe coronavirus would be a funny thing that doesn't really go anywhere?
And then like two weeks later, they're like, oh, we think dogs can catch coronavirus.
Yeah. And everyone's like, oh, it's that kind of thing.
Yeah. My heck and papa. It really was a tight turnaround from, you mean like the beer?
To I haven't seen my family in a year. Yeah. Some of the hamsters... And we're still here.
Yeah, here we have. I'm a crone. How you doing? Some of the hamsters were sold at a pet shop whose Yeah, here we have. Omicron, how you doing?
Some of the hamsters were sold at a pet shop whose owner has since been diagnosed with
coronavirus, local media reported.
Makes sense.
Subsequent testing of the animals in the shop showed that 11 hamsters had the Delta
variant.
What?
That's not true.
That's simply... It's funny that they have a specific variant. Obviously they do, but like, the idea of like a hamster getting Omicron is quite funny to
me.
How do they test them?
They're gonna put the little thing up their own nose?
Yeah.
The tiniest little swab you've ever seen in these little nose.
Now hold that really adorable mental image in your mind as I read you the next paragraph. I'm sorry. Hong Kong has been virtually free of coronavirus infections in the last year because of stringent measures.
People who purchased a hamster in the last three weeks have been urged not to cuddle the animal
and to call the hamster hotline so it could be picked up and killed.
You know that adorable pet that you just got and you love?
Do not give it a cuddle.
We're sending someone to your house to to to throw it as hard as they can against the wall.
Really? Disincentivizing you to call that phone number.
Please, we are urging you.
Have your peck killed by us.
The hamster hitman come around your house with a big team.
The hamster swat team that come and just fill him with bullets. So what would like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the one one. What the the the the the h h. the h. the h. the h. the h. the h. the h. the h. the h. the h. the h. the h. the h. the h. the h. the h. the h. the h. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. th. th. the. the. thester SWAT team, then come and fill in with bullets. Also, what are like a one-two punch to have the first half of that be,
oh, don't cuddle your hamster, and the second half be, please request someone come around
and murder it.
And also, no final cuddle before it's gone, I guess.
If we're not available, put it in a little plastic baggie and get a rolling pin. Or you can use a juice syrup.
Come on.
It's her. Well as we found out, it's actually more efficient to squeeze in my hand.
And I'm going to apologize in advance for the next sentence as well.
The other animals in the shop, which tested negative, were also put down.
Oh, come on!
I'm not their fault.
Jesus, Christ, this is grim.
It's so grim.
I'm so sorry.
The other...
The call order applies to all hamsters born in Hong Kong since December 22nd.
When a shipment of the animals arrived from the Netherlands, a second shipment arrived
on January 7th, the South China Morning Post said. The Hong Kong health authority said at a press conference that the virus may have jumped from hamsters to people.. to to to to to the to to the to to the the to to the to the the to the to the to the the the the to the the to the th. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I toome. I'm to toome. I'm today today today tre tre try try try try try try. I'm try. I'm trea. I'm th, the South China Morning Post said.
The Hong Kong Health Authority said at a press conference that the virus may have jumped
from hamsters to people.
If you have a hamster, keep it indoors.
Health Chief Monsu Fy said, don't kiss your hamster.
And also call the phone number that...
You have it murdered.
Yeah. When we talk about the shipment of ham how many do you reckon we're talking about here?
I don't know.
I'm picturing a shipping container, 10,000 hamsters.
It's insane that they've completely blankets stopped all sales on hamsters because of one
shippling hamster.
Is it one company importing hamsters to Hong Kong?
Can't you just breed them in Hong Kong? Why are you importing hamsters?
I don't know much about the pet trade.
The fancy ones the import hamsters.
You know, those are domestic hamsters are always a little bit shit.
Yeah, this is a little, they're beautiful hamsters with the fancy hair.
Yeah, I prefer to get of infectious disease from animal to human
is not thought to contribute significantly
to the spread of coronavirus, although in the Netherlands,
infected mink may have passed the virus to workers.
Oh, oh.
It's a real.
What are you doing with those mink?
Yeah.
The workers have been advised to stop kissing the mink. We know that dogs, cats, thats, cats, cats, cats, cats, thets, thets, thets, thets, thets, thets, thets, thets, thets, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, thiets, tho, tho, tho, the mink. We know that dogs, cats, ferrets and hamsters too can
get coronavirus, a spokesman for the agricultural ministry told broadcaster
NOS, but so far that has not been shown to play a relevant role in coronavirus
infections in humans. The ministry said it would liaise with the Hong Kong
authorities to verify the information and said it would involve the
Public Health Institute RIVM if the virus has made the jump from hamster to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the Public Health Institute, RIVM if the virus has made the jump from hamster to human.
According to the RIVM, Dutch research shows that most animals with coronavirus are infected
by their owners and that their symptoms are generally mild.
That's good.
That's good.
Sounds like it's the owners who should be put down.
You know?
Maybe man is the real-. Man is the disease.
Man is the real diseased hamster.
Yeah.
It'd be a shame if like hamsters with Delta just got a horrible little cough and then exploded
on day four.
He's got the sniffles, he's got a runny nose and, oh, okay, he's turned into a cloud of fur
and trapnel. Oh, that's a shame. Common symptoms include detonation.
Exploding like one of those birds that gets hit by a tennis ball during like a professional match.
So, I don't know if you, do you know specifically that video of the baseball pitcher who hits a pigeon out of the air.
Yes, yes I do.
He has a consultancy company and the logo for that consultancy company is an upside-down dead pigeon.
Wow. Oh, so he's not, I don't think he's truly like conflicted about the type that he
coblemoed a pigeon with a 140 miles per hour fastball.
Yeah, I guess it's a real pigeon would have done the same thing to him
type situation, I guess.
What does he consult?
What's a consultant?
Do any of you know?
I think you just take meetings and then you charge $300 an hour.
That's my understanding.
That sounds like a job for me. Now that was a pretty sensational story, but it's not the place
that we normally get our sensational stories from. Usually we get them from the UK tabloids.
It's time of course for tab-boid phenomenon. Violator,
Discentraider,
turn around it.
This headed man destroys church.
Keep a noise phenomenon.
This is a story from Wales online.
I just sort of bear with me because there's a few twist and turns in this headline.
Self-proclaimed, son of the Delorian inventor,
quote, receives orders from the Taliban.
What?
Pardon?
Is this like a little regency thing?
Like, is it?
Are we going to install an anti-Delorian inventor?
What?
Now this takes a few terms.
The self-proclaimed son of the Dlorian inventor is designed a rebooted version of the
famous car and claims he has received orders from the Taliban.
Ty Delorian, who claims to be the son of car legend John Delorian, says the current
rulers of Afghanistan want his back to the future cars to be the son of car legend John Delorian, says the current rulers of Afghanistan want his back to the future cars
to be used by government officials there.
Oh my God.
He has been trying to reignite the Delorian Motor Company
by building hybrids of the iconic cars.
He says he has now received an offer from the newly formed
Afghan government. In an email, he was told the militant group that that back control of the country last year wanted to mass produce his vehicle for its government officials.
He said he was, quote, open to the business opportunity as he felt it could be used as part
of peace negotiations as a, quote, vehicle for change.
What?
Is this just one guy said some stuff?
Yep.
None, like he's just said some things that aren't true.
He's said that the Taliban has approached him and he thinks he might be able to create
peace with the Taliban regime by selling them his version of the Delorian because he is
supposedly the son of John Delorian, that's right.
Unconfirmed. I feel like that's pretty easy information to confirm the information the information that's the son of John Delorian, that's right. Unconfirmed. It's pretty, I feel like that's pretty easy information to confirm if someone is the son of someone.
You'd think that. Uh, tie of Newkey, Newkey, Cornwall said he had subsequently been in contact with the British government, who told him it was illegal to make deals with the Taliban.
But he did say, if they did drop their hardline stance against women, he could be open to entering
into discussions with them.
Oh, he's an ally.
Do you know if that was the thing that finally got the Taliban?
They want that Dolorin so bad.
They convert that Dolorin so bad. They want it so bad, they convert to feminism.
I don't want to foreshadow too much, but there's a twist coming up in this article that
you have no possible way of anticipating.
Like this, all of this so far is not the twist.
This is the setup.
The twist is still coming.
John dies at the end of this story.
I mean John John Dj John John John John John is. I mean John Delorne is already dead, that was it?
He said, quote, I had offers for business from the current Afghan government, but I don't
really know what to do about it. It was via email saying that they had received previous
reports of the car on their desk that they were interested in mass producing it.
They would start with cars for government officials and then lead on from that. Now what does that mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean mean th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they to they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. th. th. thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the on from that. And what does that mean? Does that mean they start mass producing them for everyone else as well?
I think they're replacing the Toyota Ux.
Yeah, they mount 7.62 mil heavy machine guns on the back of them and kind of roll around.
But imagine if that was a car with like cool doors that went...
Pchoov. Now, what you describe it is quite silly. But imagine if that was a car with like cool doors that went...
Pchooh.
Now, what you're describing is quite silly.
And just hold that in your mind.
All right.
Because it gets worse.
I found the UK government, and they said they wanted to see all the emails.
And they told me it was illegal to do business with the Taliban in any way,
their shape or form that put a bit of a dampner on things. But I probably wouldn't have pursued it anyway because of their laws against women.
I love how open this guy is.
Oh, but maybe, probably not, but you never know.
But, oh, the Taliban?
The Taliban pretty bad, but are they that bad?
Imagine phoning the British government.
It'd be like, hey, is this the British government? Can I make Delorians for the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the, is this the British government? Can I do business with the Taliban? Can I make Delorians for the Taliban?
Don't worry, I'm gonna ask them about their women's stance.
I'm gonna get them to come around on the woman thing.
How do you guys feel about chicks now?
Oh, still bad, huh?
That's a shame.
I thought the car could be used to get the to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, their, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, their, their, to, to, their, their, the, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta,a, ta.a.a.a.a.a.a, t original Delorian helped bring groups together, maybe the car can be used to get the Taliban to drop their hardline stance. Like a new beginning in the Middle
East peace negotiations. Incredible. What a guy. The communication was supposedly from
Karen Afghani Transport Minister Kudratalzaki. He apparently wrote to Thai, quote, the civil aviation
of Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan
extends its compliments to you in your brilliant motor vehicle, a Delorian motor company,
a delirion motor company, in any way shape or form.
And it's kind of not his thing.
I just want to note that I found this man's Instagram.
Don't look at the car. Don't you look at it.
You close your eyes right now. I've scrolled quite far back back. There there. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There. There's. It. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. I. It's, th. It's, the th. I's, the the th. It's, the th. It's, the the th. It's, the the the the the the the the the the the th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th.............................................................................. the the the the the the the the t the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t Don't you look at it. You close your eyes right now. I've scrolled quite far back. There's a lot of pictures of legal letters from the Delorian Motor Company in the matter of
intellectual property proceedings. Oh yes, yes sir. The correspondent said they would quote,
like to move forward with investment in your business and describe the cars as quote perfect for the
rural roads in Afghanistan. How can that be true? How can that possibly be cool?
Tai claimed it was signed off on by the head of the Taliban,
Hibatullah Akhwanzada, and said he was now dealing with his deputy and the transport
minister.
He said it was not a shock to him that some governments were interested, but he was surprised
that it was the Taliban who came forward. He added, quote, the car has had a great deal of exposure across the world and I previously
had correspondence with the Indian government.
I did anticipate someone mass-producing these vehicles or a four-wheeled version at some stage.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Something just happened there. Yes, so
So that's kind of four wheels classically traditionally yes traditionally
Yeah, he's really he might be referring to a four wheel drive version perhaps of this because the
Lorians are a rear wheel drive probably not what I'd want in the desert. No
In rural areas it said of probably pretty fun like a group B rally car, but uh he's describing adding a fourth wheel. He's describing adding a fourth wheel. the th. that's, th, th, th, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so that's, so, so that's, so, so, so, so that's, so, so that's, so that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's, that's that's, that's that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, like a group B rally car, but...
He's describing adding a fourth wheel to the current design of the car that he has.
Which has four wheels. His car has three wheels because it is a hybrid between
a wheel and a bike.
A DMC Delorian and the Reliant Robin the tidy three-wheeled British car.
I can see where you might be getting confused here.
Classically the Dolorian has four wheels and when we talk about hybrids in like, in, you
know, motor business, as they call it in the business.
We're talking about like a car that has an engine and then a battery and they sort of
supplant each other quite well.
The battery is giving like low down torque, efficiency, etc.
So now you've gotten, you've been bamboozled here because I said the word hybrid in the
context of cars, so you interpret it as a hybrid. What I meant was a hybrid in the sense of...as any
sane person would do. When both a fly and a man go into a teleporter, and then you get a hybrid.
When you put a reliant robin and a delirion inside a teleporter, you get a delirium that
has three wheels.
It has two back wheels and one front wheel.
Why would you take a wheel away?
What could be improved by fucking...
It is the shiniest little car.
So it's a Reliant Robin,
in brushed metal silver with gull-wing doors.
What?
Yep.
And what do we call this thing?
So we can go and search for it.
I don't even know what he is calling this.
Delorium, Reliant Robin, now that looks like shit.
Yeah, it's ugly as fuck, right? It's approximately one foot wide.
Slightly shorter than it is wide. Seats 0.7. And that's perfect for the rural roads of Afghanistan.
So that's wonderful.
He continues, the story is still developing. If it goes anywhere else, I don't know,
but if they drop their hardline stance, I would be interested.
My ambition has always been to mass produce these cars and reignite the Delorian dream.
It's just a shame the Taliban is so controversial.
He really thinks he has something here, doesn't they?
It's a shame they're so spicy at the moment.
If only the Taliban was less spicy to toucest.
I would rather get an offer from someone else.
I can see it legitimately happening and could be mass-produced in the future and
be a great seller in third world countries.
We could then repay the British taxpayer and build Delorian
cards here for the rest of the rest of the world right back where it started.
Ty has also been at the center of a legal dispute with DMC itself where he's
been accused of passing off his prototype cars as legitimate Delorians.
Now, yes. I can see why they would think that given that he has included the DMC logo
completely verbatim on the front of what can only be described as a reliant robin with gull-wing doors.
Yes, it's also on the shitty jacket and hat that he wears every time he poses for a photo
with them, which is cool. Does this count as a scam? He's doing a scam and
I think I like it. I think he earnestly believes that he's not but I also
think he might not be a very smart man. He's not great at what he's doing. Yeah
but he is doing the hell out of it. He's really gunning for it.
Time maintains he has a right to sell these cars and said the case was ongoing and that
it was and that he expected it to end in court. He added, quote, I spoke to my solicitor and
this is not going away. I've paid court fees of 600 pounds and it's all been filed accordingly.
There is going to be a hearing and I cannot see myself losing. They seem to be under the impression I've been selling cars.
I've not sold any.
It is purely artistic impressions at this point.
It is not a clear-cut trademark infringement.
However, if the Taliban.
But he also advertised them on his website.
He'll sell you one for 25,000 pounds.
Oh my God, that is so much money. Yeah, for a car that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that that that that that that that that that that that that that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is so much that is so much that is so much that is so much that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is. that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is so much. that is so much. that is so much. that is so much. that is so much. that is so much. that is that is that is so much. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. thate. that. that. that is so much. that is so much. that is so much. that you can't really fit a person in. That's for your child to drive.
Oh, you don't want one?
Well, maybe the Taliban really wants them, you know?
I don't want to make a journalist, but I've had...
A lot of interest from a certain ruling militant group of a certain Middle Eastern
country. Podcasts. They're nature's greatest natural resource and it's important that they're harvested
sustainably.
Editing, production, fart sound effects.
These are all important resources from our local ecosystems.
That's why we're asking you to go to Patreon.
to their to-Vista and pledge five US dollars a month to help support
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In exchange you'll get an extra sustainably farmed episode every week, access to our Discord
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Thank you for helping look after one of nature's most precious resources.
Now he's certainly going to be receiving a lot of mail from the lawyers at the Delorian
Motor Company.
We also get a little bit of mail over here.
It's time to dip into our mail bag.
Theo, if you wanted to do a little dance just to really...
But we don't really check the Facebook. Yeah, there you go.
1, 8003175.
That's the Boltervista hotline.
One, eight hundred, three, one, seven, five, that's the Boltonvista hotline.
You can send us an email.
Mail bag at Bolivista.
Maybe DM us on Twitter.
You could even message Facebook.
We don't really check the Facebook, yeah.
That's the Bulte Vista hotline.
One, 8003175, that's the Punta Vista hotline.
That's the point of the hudlin.
That's beautiful.
This letter was sent into us from cherished, listener of the show, Duffo,
in regards to our most recent bonus episode,
Dr. Jackoff from Mr. Hides in the bathroom and says he has diarrhea.
And he just wanted to sort of provide some context for some things we were talking about.
Now, Lucy, you weren't on that episode. I wasn't. I've simply seen the title, which is very descriptive.
It is wonderful.
I think it gets straight to the point of it.
It was about a guy who was jacking off from 2 a.m. to 4.30 in the morning in the bathroom,
hiding from his wife.
And then he's told his wife that he had diarrhea and then said no I was jacking off and we talked about how long it's appropriate to jack off for and apparently we're prudes
about this. We are light weights. Duffo writes, hi Bontovista. In the Lucy-less
paging Dr. Lucy, which okay fair enough, you discuss a man who jerks off for two
and a half hours in the bathroom and your concerns could be on the money,
but as online citizens I do think your Overton window for these matters may need to shift
a little.
Personally, I joke off a normal amount that does not need to be commented on.
Personally, I usually find my not safe for work material on discord servers that
helpfully categorize the things you might be interested in.
As you can imagine, the people who are regular posters
in these discords are hyper-sexual personalities who love over sharing.
For these porn enthusiasts, a regular jerk off session
is somewhere in the two to four hour range.
Several people exceed this with alarming regularity.
Here are some confessions I have collected for you. And just to be clear, these are other people, things other people said, this is not Duffo.
He's normal about masturbating.
I quit my job in June 2021 to focus full-time on stroking.
I quit my job in June 2021 to focus full-time on stroking.
Stroking what?
His penis.
Oh, it's beenched. I've averaged six to eight hours a day, every day, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, thoomom-a, th, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th eight hours a day every day during that period.
My new job starts next week, so that will change, but it's been an amazing half a year.
Wife has no idea, as I kept renting the office I had before I quit and would go there and
stroke solidly nine to five every day.
No, I'm refusing to believe that one. Do you reckon they're like going
out for the like office hours lunch rush? Like they've done like four hours and
they're like, oh, time to go get a little rice noodle bowl. A little bit of blood
soaking through the front of their pants. It's like when people retire, you can't just go from like, work to nothing. You've got to find something to fill your days with. And I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, thi, tho, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. Like, thi. Like, thi. Like, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to nothing. You got to find something to fill your days with. And I think it's probably a responsible thing. What I wanted to know is how
many comes are we talking? That's one that's my first thought. Like are you
jerking off all day for one? Or are you doing regular ones? Imagine what a come it
would be? You know? What if it was just wasn't that great? Imagine one big. Here's another one. Qq me to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the their to to to to to to to know what it to to know what it to know what it to know what it to to their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. What I wo. What I want. What I want. What I want. What I want. What I want. What I want. What I want. What I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want to to th. What th. What th. What I want havre to come. What if it just wasn't that great? Imagine one big.
Here's another one.
Quit me job and took a sabbatical in July.
Saved up enough for six months.
Have been edging ten hours a day, every day for five months.
One left before I start back. It's been totally worth it.
What?
Like...
Like... I enjoy the human orgasm as much as much as much as much as much as much as much as much as much as much as the human orgasm as much as much as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as th as to as to as to as to to to to th as to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too. too. too. too. too. the tho. the tho. the tho. thoooooooo. the too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too orgasm as much as anyone else.
I don't know if you do.
I'm not, probably it seems like you don't.
Not as much as these people.
I just don't think that I could take off six know is, if he hits his goal, that's one come per 10-hour session.
Yes. That's just, I'd get bored. My thoughts would begin to drift. My mind would start to wander.
Yeah. I, well maybe that's part of it. It's like, um, it's like meditation.
Yeah. Occupying yourself so you can, yeah, all right. I don't think that's what of it. It's like, um, it's like meditation. Yeah.
Occupying yourself so you can, yeah, all right.
I don't think that's what this guy is doing.
I think he's, I don't think that's what he's doing.
I think he's designing.
Hours is insane.
Yeah.
What if he was doing it like,, but the whole time he's got his dick out.
Yeah.
I've got one more here for you.
Go on.
What a fucking weekend!
Four exclamation marks.
I broke the 40 hours barrier again.
I jerked for 41.5 hours on Saturday and Sunday combined.
Why don't you sleep?
You're not sleeping enough. Sunday combined. Why don't you sleep?
You're not sleeping enough.
I passed out with my dick in my hand, that weird sort of drooly emoji, twice.
What an amazingly weekend.
You like you skipped a sentence in there.
Okay, because I don't think I understand it.
Is that, do you know who that is?
I'm guessing that might be his mistress or his mummy.
All right.
I was talking about his real mummy here.
I thought maybe it might have been some sort of adult,
what's the website, some sort of only fans personality or something.
Oh, I was reading it as, uh, guess what?
All from mummy Remy. I think you might be right though, because I just googled that in,, inc inc inc inc inc inc inc inc inc inc inc inc inc, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th. th. that, th. th. thi. that, thi. that, that, thi, thin, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, as, uh, guess what? All from mummy Remy.
I think you might be right though, because I just googled that in incognito because I'm not
insane.
Uh, and I got nothing.
So they did a 41.5 hour jerk off session in a 48 hour period, all for mummy
Remy.
What an amazing weekend.
Can't wait for the next weekend.
Two more droll emojies.
When are you cleaning your house? You know, you've got five days of work.
You've got two days of staying awake for the entire weekend, grinding your penis into a stump.
What are you doing your chores?
You know? When are you having lunch? Who's cooking?
How clean? Yeah, I get a little, I get a little hangry by like 1030 a.m.
Imagine the power of those forearms though.
That's so much exercise.
Well, I mean that's your first mistake.
You're not going to get into a 40-hour session using your forearms to masturbate.
I'm sorry.
You have to kind of change your shoulder.
Yeah, shoulder and bice. You need to change your technique.
You need to revise, unlearn some habits.
I hope this contextualizes the behavior of Dr. Jack are for you.
Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, I don't approve or endorse. I simply report the facts. Thank you.
So much. I honestly don't think I knew what I was dealing with.
No. I wouldn't say this makes me what I was dealing with. No.
I wouldn't say this makes me feel any better about the information.
Well, okay, so I will say that just because like these guys exist doesn't mean that two and a half hours is also fine.
I think it's fine now. Actually, I've taken the meme and I think it's good.
Jack off George as an outlier. It should not be counted.
It's like, I can't, this is, and these, it's nice that these people have found supporting communities where they can, they can share this sort of thing.
And have people say, congratulations. But like, life is finite. There is only so much time in a week.
Is this the thing? You're like, you may as well just be fucking wired up to a tube.
You're spending it going to work, Ben. You could be spending it jacking off for 41 hours.
It is true. You don't see me at the club?
I don't see you in the bathroom bathroom bathroom bathroom bathroom bathroom bathroom bathroom bathroom bathroom bathroom bathroom bathroom bathroom bathroom bathroom for to the bathroom for th then for the bathroom th for th for th for the bathroom th for see me at the club? I don't see you in the
bathroom for a two and a half hours. Oh that's um. Now imagine if there was a
way for you to see other people in the bathroom. It's time for the all report. It starts making sense as you have the fence voices calling.
You're falling.
This is from WTMJ News in Milwaukee.
South Milwaukee home features four toilet communal bathroom.
Oh no, no.
When you're looking for a new home, two things that are always on the must-have list are a specific
number of bedrooms and bathrooms.
You may feel that any home you buy has to have at least two bathrooms or three
or four. But what if there was a house that...
How the fuck can that be? How is that? What's the other thing we were talking about with the like
Americans having these mansions where there's like one bathroom for every bedroom? Like,
welcome to my 18 bathroom house and you say, God, you have to check each one all the time? You have to their tho' to th th th th th th thoom. th th th thoom. th thoom. thi. th thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thate. thate. thateateateateateateateateate. thate. thateateate. their their their their their their their stuff. their stuff. their stuff. their stuff. their stuff. their stuff. their stuff. their stuff. their stuff. What's th. What's th. What's is. What's is. What's th. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's. What's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thea. thoooooooooooooooooooooooo. their. their. the their. their their. their their th.. So much you have to employ someone full-time.
What if there was a house that had four bathrooms in one?
I'm listening. It feels like that makes it one bathroom. That's one bathroom. That's one bathroom that you've got. Yeah. One South Milwaukee home is popping up all over
social media due to the uniqueness of one of its three bathrooms.
The home, which was built in 1851 by the Fowl family,
features a bathroom that has not one toilet, but four.
That's right, the home has a communal bathroom.
But what makes the bathroom even more strange
is the lack of partitions.
The toilets are simply sitting there next to each other with nothing separating them.
So while multiple people can use the bathroom at once,
they will have to look at each other while they do it. Have you seen a picture of
this? Is there a picture? I have, yes. I should have dropped on the thing, but
it's literally it's just... Just describe which way are the toilets facing each
other? No, they're parallel, you know, you're all looking at a mirror though. the the the their, the the the picture, the picture, the the picture, the picture, the picture, the picture, the picture, th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, is thi, is thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is, is th. Is, is th. Is, is th, is th, is th, th, is th, th, is th, th. Is, th. Is, th. Is, th. Is, th. Is, th. Is, th. Is, thi, thi, thi, that, is that, is that, is that, is their, is their, their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is their, is thate. Is thate across from the vanity. Oh, okay. So you are staring into each other's eyes.
It is at least like good manners to pick the toilet that's furthest away from anybody that's already in there.
You don't want to be freak about it. Don't be weird. Don't make this weird.
No, you kind of want to go the one that puts one toilet between you because you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho the tho the tho tho tho the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that's that's that's that's that's tho that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that puts one toilet between you, because you don't want to say I'm disgusted by you, you just want to say I'm politely giving you some space. The home is called the Hawthorne house.
It is a farmhouse that was built in 1851 and eventually was donated to the Girl Scouts of America who made additions including the unique bathroom. Okay, I mean, okay, I mean, okay. Okay, okay. Okay. I mean, okay. Okay. Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. I. I. I. I. the. I. the. the. I. the. I. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. I. I. I. I. I, the. I, still. Okay, but at the same time.
According to Jane DeChristopher, a broker associated with Marla Sotheby's International
Realty in Milwaukee, Herbert Hoover's wife shared tea with girls' counts there.
Now I assume they made the house, not at the bathroom specifically.
The previous owner owned the home for 40 years, the current owner purchased it two years
ago with plans of making it into an Airbnb.
In all that time, there were never partitions between the toilets.
Well, I guess you're not using them.
Why would you put partitions in there?
You're not going to use them at all, right?
But why would you... Do you unplumb them? Like how a
couple of... Like how one of the smokestacks on the Titanic was fake. You've got a couple
of fake toilets in there and just two real ones. Yeah, just sort of make the house a little grander.
Yeah. Like, don't shit, those are those are decorative toilets. please don't shed in them. Like, let's say you lived in that house.
What's your strategy here?
Do you sort of form a like an informal set of rules
around being like, okay, guys, we're sick of cleaning four toilets,
just use the closest one to the door?
No, I'm gonna, look, I'm gonna propose an alternative here,
which is to say, if you use to use toiletsleets the the the to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean to clean the to clean the to clean the the to propose an alternative here, which is to say, if you use
toilets less frequently, you don't have to clean them as often.
So you're rotating your toilet.
There's a minimum of six toilets in this house.
Six sides on a dice.
I mean, you can use the sort of ticket system where if your number is...
Yeah. Yeah, something, modulo 6 equals 0.
That's right, thank you.
And you can just, I'm sure you can get guests to understand that system where you just
have a string of tickets on the door with your toilet number is, yeah.
And the ticket number percentage six equals.
Take remainder.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think the problem here would be like, you know if you own, say someone in your early
20s and you're not great at just like getting on top of your stuff while you have a
kitchen or a shared kitchen or whatever, and if you have tons of plates and bowls, you'll
just use all of them before being like, you won't clean as you need them................. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the, I. to. the, I. to. to. to. I. I'. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll just. I'll just, I'll just. I'll just. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'll the the the the the the the to. I'll to. I'll just just just just just just just to. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. tip. t. t. tip. t. tip. tip. tip. the the the just use all of them before being like, you
won't clean as you need them, you'll go like, I'll just grab one of the clean bowls.
And then a week later you're like, holy fuck.
I think you would slowly destroy all four toilets and then eventually be like, ah shit.
Now I've got to clean four toilets.
Yeah, I have a working bee, you get it all sorted out,
good for another couple of months. Get some people around, put some beers on, everyone pick a toilet.
I don't, no, not that one, that's the one where we put the ice and beers in. Well all you've got
is toilets, everything looks like. On January 3rd, the home was put back on the market.
Zillow had Hawthorne house listed for $450,000.
And Christopher said there are around 25 showings in just about one week.
Now however, an owner, the owner has accepted an offer.
Since 1851, several people have owned this house and no one added partitions to the
bathroom.
Could the new owners be the ones to make the addition?
Don't I?
Sure.
Anything would happen?
You can probably just get rid of three toilets.
Yeah, I just, but then you end up with like a freakishly large bathroom with
just one toilet, which has its own sort of...
Which is also, it's weird.
What a free standing bathroom? Oh, yeah, claw foot bathtub. Do you reckon maybe they're like running a fowl of like heritage protection stuff?
Maybe.
Oh, that toilet's an antique?
Oh, that people are like, no, no, no, the unique, four toilet, no partition, quadra, shit,
bathroom that you have.
Oh, Milwaukee-style.
Yeah.
It's called a Milwaukee bungalow.
Did we talk about this on the podcast thing?
It was going around last week about the fucking, what state was it?
It was like one of the like, Wisconsin or something.
One of the cheese states.
Where like you have a freestanding toilet in your basement that has no walls, hiding it from the cheese states. Where you have a freestanding toilet in your basement that has no walls
hiding it from the rest of the basement?
No. What the fuck?
No.
I'm going to look this up.
Okay.
Basement toilet regional.
That'll surely get us there.
And that's not a competition for the best basement toilet in the region. It's the Pittsburgh Toilet.
Yep. Which is not a sex act.
A Pittsburgh toilet, often called a Pittsburgh potty, is a common fixture in pre-World War II
houses built in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States and the surrounding region.
It consists of an ordinary flush toilet installed in the basement with no surrounding walls.
Why?
Most of these toilets are paired with a crude basement shower apparatus and large sink,
which often doubles as a laundry basin.
I'm looking at pictures.
There's some Pittsburgh parties in here.
Oh my God, what it? Do you think the, do you think the cutover, like regionally happens all of a the basement the basement the basement to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, what- Do you think the cutover like regionally happens all of a sudden, or is it like a
sort of graduating thing where you go from Pennsylvania to
Pitsburgh to Toilet's style as the partition wall gets smaller and more innate and then
just disappears entirely?
Bamboo screen, hanging curtain, bead curtain, nothing.
Oh now we're in Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh.
Sorry, I'm continuing for the Wikipedia article here because there is some wonderful phrasing here.
Because Western Pennsylvania is a steep topographical zone, many basements have their own entryway, allowing homeowners to enter from their yard or garage,
cleanse themselves in their basement and then a sin. They mean take a quick shit. Well, you don't want to carry those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those those the the their their their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their their their their their their their to to to to their in their in their in their in ti.a.a. It's ti. It's. It's. Ita. Ita. Ita. Ita. Ita. It's. Ita. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's their ti. It's their yard or garage, cleanse themselves in their basement, and then ascend.
Well, you don't want to carry those turds up the toilet with you, up the stairs with you.
This is like exactly describing the ritual that like the Christian idea of baptism came from,
the idea of you descend down a stairwell, you cleanse and then you ascend having been purified? That's what we call the Pittsburgh baptism where I'm from, which is coming home from work,
doing a nasty shit, hopping straight into your shower, and then going upstairs and saying,
honey, I'm home.
What the fuck?
The toilet fixtures would also limit the harm of sewage backups in
Hillie, Pittsburgh, providing a lower flushable outlet than the main part of the house.
What is up with American toilets?
So you should be using your Pittsburgh toilet.
You want to use the lowest altitude toilet you can find.
Well, it's just gravity, isn't it?
The third's going to want to go downwards. Origin.
These toilets largely serve to prevent sewage backups from flooding the living areas of homes.
As sewage backups tend to flood the lowest fixture in a residence,
a Pittsburgh toilet would help to fix, would be the fixture to overflow.
So that's why there's no walls?
Is you don't want to just like the wa wa wa wathat you... No this describes that there's no walls to the toilet. It's just how we do
things in Pittsburgh. This is historically an industrial town, toilets such as
these were said to be used by steelworkers and miners, grimy from the
day's labor they could use an exterior door to explain the lack of walls still, yeah. It still doesn't. Oh well.
Maybe you Philadelphia people like your beaded curtain around your toilet,
but it's not how we do things here in Bitsberg.
Here if you have to go take the washing out of the dryer, there should be a 50-50 chance
you'll see someone taking the most heinous shit you've ever smelled
in your life.
Fucking hell. Imagine how terrible that toilet would get.
Like you've just come home, you're, from your 10-hour shift at grease trap cleaner at KFC.
You put your horrible cake down on this disgusting to the toilet.
Just unload. your horrible cake down on this disgusting toilet.
Just unload.
The idea of having vernacular, like regional toilets is so funny.
Yeah we just have normal toilets in Australia. Sometimes they're in their own room, sometimes
in a room with a shower.
Although, do you, have you ever lived in a sharehouse in Queensland at all where it's not
an outhouse, but like the door to the toilet is on like the landing of the stairs?
So like it's slightly outside the house but not really?
A couple of my friends have had those just in like shitty old Queenslanders where like
you would go out the back door and then you would be on the back deck and they'd be the stairs down, but to you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the door the door the door th thooooooooooooooo o' the door thoooooooooooooooo o' house. their. their. their. their. their. their.. their.... their...... their........... their... their. their... their.. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. th. to. th. th. their th. their their their their the then you would be on the back deck and they'd be the stairs down but to you're right they'd be the door that
was the bathroom so that door faced the outside world.
Yeah. Which um, you know if you had a view from that deck, pretty good beautiful. Yeah,
yeah, carve a little like quarter moon out of the door so you can see out. Yep. So if I could see you. Yep.
Being peeped on in your Queensland to toilet would truly be the one thing you didn't want
to happen while you were taking shit in there.
It's time for the one thing we didn't want to happen.
This is the one thing we didn't want to happen.
I like your little segues keep in. They're straight to the point. I know Andrew. He loves taking his time with it. He's edging his segues all the time.
He's like, oh. And he doesn't care how long they take. That's the important bit.
He's not time pressed.
Um, this story is really grim. I just want to say that in advance. Um, everything else we've said that the thirty to to to to to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say thy. I thi. I thi. that that that that that that that that that that that. that that that that that that that that that. that the. that the. to to the. I to toilet stuff. Should have maybe done this one first.
This is from WSYX News in Columbus, Ohio.
Columbus family traumatized after finding wrong woman in their loved ones casket.
Like it's a little bit funny.
Hmm. It is a tiny little bit funny.
Whoops. Oops. That's a tiny little bit funny.
That's a perfect impression of what the funeral director said as he got that phone call.
He's the wrongest I've ever gotten it.
The family of Sonia White was preparing to lay their loved one to rest at a local funeral home,
only to find a cask contained the body of a stranger. It was traumatic. No one should have to go through that with their loved one to rest at a local funeral home only to find a casket contained the body of a stranger. It was traumatic. No one should have to go through that with their loved one,
White's cousin Lisa Hardin said. Hardin said she went with White's daughters and other family
members to a special viewing Monday afternoon. Quote, when we walked in there, it was a different body in her casket with her clothes on, her undergarments, her bucking, her wig. We were very devastated, we were all crying.
Oh no, I thought they just like gone and they like...
It's got her wig on?
It's not like they just pulled the wrong one out.
They put her clothes on.
They had the wrong body from the start.
That means someone else is also going to have a very embarrassing mishap at their funeral.
Yeah, that's a real, but if she's in there, then, oh no.
We were very upset because we were already having a hard time.
Yes, yeah, I would imagine.
To go in to view her body, and then when we walked in, it was a whole other body, to have to sit there. For us to view a body at 430, and their, and then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then then their.30, their.00, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. So, to, to to toea. So, toea. So, toea. So, toe. So, th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. was a whole other body to have to sit there for us to view a body at 430 and then they tell us to come back at 630 because
they had to swap them out and change the earrings Hardin said that was too
much Jesus Christ you never want anyone in charge of anything to do with the
grieving process to be like ah hey can you come back a little bit later
yeah yeah process to be like, uh, hey, can you come back a little bit later?
Yeah.
Sorry, we've got, um, we've got some trainees in at the moment.
It's still working the process out.
We've had a little bit of a whoopsy here.
And if you could just maybe go around the corner and grab a bite to eat and then
come back, we should hopefully have this sorted out. It's nothing to worry about. It's th, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, their, tho, their, the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they. We they they they the, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoooooooooooooooooooooooomoomoomorrow, too, thoooooomo, thooo, tho, tho, thi have this sorted out. It's just nothing to worry about. It's just a classic wrong corpse situation.
It does not raise more questions than answers. No, don't think about it too much.
What if there wasn't a viewing?
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah.
Well, then you've got two angry ghosts.
That's how you get psychotically angry ghosts.
They dress them in the wrong wig. Buck eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eye eyeically angry ghosts. You get haunted by some woman that's like the, uh, just looks just like your mom's hair,
your mom's earrings and dress.
And undergarments as well.
And undergarments, very important.
Hey, those look just like my mom's g-string.
You wear my mom's g-string says. You wear my mom's g-string?
The ghost-wearing?
The g-string of my deceased mother?
Sonia's sister, Keisha Givens, said they chose a scarlet casket since the 51-year-old was an avid Buckeye fan.
Quote, everything we picked for my sister, we picked with love,
exactly what we thought she would have liked, Given said. Sonny's daughter, Courtney, th-white, th-white, to-wite-wight, th-wi-white, th-white, th-wi-white, th-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-wi-s, gi-s, gist, gist, gist, gist, gist, gi-m. Goyoye. Goye. Goye. Goye. Goye. Goye. Goye. Gg. Gg. Gg. Gg. Goy. Goy. Goy. Goy. Goy. Goy. Goy. Goys. Goys. Goys, gi-s, gi-s, gi-s, gi-s, gi-s, gi-s, gi-s, gi-s, gi-s, gi-s, ge-s, th-s. G-s. G-s. G-s. th-s. thwooomeaaa-s. G-s. G-s. G-s. Goyea- said. Sonny's daughter Courtney White said her mother died unexpectedly. It was
already an awful experience and then for that to happen just makes it worse
Courtney said. No one from the Marlon Gray, sorry Marlon Garry funeral home
returned AB6 on your side's phone calls. Family said the owner
apologized for the mix-up and agreed to pick up the tab for the services. Yeah I mean I probably probably probably probably probably probably probably probably I wouldn I wouldn I wouldn I wouldn I wouldn I wouldn I wouldn I wouldn I wouldn I wouldn I wouldn I wouldn I wouldn I wouldn I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't I the I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the mix-up and agreed to pick up the tab for the services.
Yeah, I mean I probably wouldn't pick up the phone either for a while.
Yeah, I'd probably be having a pretty bad day I imagine.
Do you reckon the phrasing, pick up the tab was theirs?
Yeah, it's a strange phrasing, huh?
Yeah, this one's on the house. Just a free before you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, th, the th, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. the th. th. I th. I that's tho tho tho th. Yeah, I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi thi thi tho tho tho tha tha tha tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' tha' one's on the house. Just tap in the counter, walking off.
Yeah.
You get the wrong corpse?
It's free.
Oh, that's our guarantee.
The family said the owner had been in hot water about a decade ago for a mix-up with
a baby's remains.
Oh my god.
This is not your first mix-up? But also, is that, how, is that like common knowledge?
Why do you know that?
Did you go to the funeral home that you know had the baby mix-up?
Yeah, everyone's like, don't go to Marlon, Gary.
Yeah.
You know what happened there with a baby and you're like, lesson, oopsie-dupsy. Quote, it's like, is this the very first time this has happened?
Why us?
I don't want to wish that on anyone else, but why did we have to experience that?
Ask daughter, Kovina what?
Do you check that the, um, that she didn't die through some sort of face-off accident?
She did say it was unexpected.
That would unfortunately would be very unexpected. She died mid-freaky Friday. It was unfortunately both the freakiest and final Friday of her life.
The daughter said they are sorry for the family of the other woman who was first in their
mother's casket as they were also likely traumatized.
Yeah. Yep. It's a one-in-one-out situation. You
expect you loved one when they passed to be handled with care and to be that
careless with someone else's family member is inexcusable, given said. The family
said they want to be advocates for others who may experience
similar issues and plan file a complaint with the state of Ohio, board of
him barmers and funeral directors. My goodness. Although I would say the treatreatreatreatreatreatreatreatreatreatreatreat treatment th th th th threat treatment threat th threat threat the threat threat threat threat threat threat threat threat threat threat threat that that that that that that that that that they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're that that that that that that that that tho. that that that tho. that that th Although I would say the treatment that they got was probably preferable than the episode
that we did on blast testing and organ removal and subsequent sale on the gray market.
What was the name of that episode?
Not a blast testing.
Sounds about right.
Yep.
Oh, nope.
It is episode 110.
Blast testing.
Just blasting.
All right.
Yeah, we're getting better at our episode names, I think.
Yeah, I think so too.
Really improving.
This also made me think a little bit about, um,
God damn now I'm gonna fucking pause it.
What was the baby swap, the fungible baby?
Yeah, completely fungible baby?
Where we talked about the baby swap, which that was a fucking harrowing story.
But also, the thing that gets me with this is, obviously, this and the baby swap are unbelievable,
like, horrendous, traumatizing things to have happened to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to have happen to you and like a crazy,
crazy slip up with just unbelievable shocking ramifications but also
statistically even if this only happens one in a million times it's gonna
happen. Yeah yeah you're gonna have a whoopsie every so often you're gonna
forget what order you put your toe tags in?
Yeah.
Everybody has a whoopsy at their job.
Gonna have a coffin flop.
I showed, I showed coffin flops to my sister when I was on holidays from McKay.
And she kind of looked at me like, is this the sort of thing that you find funny? And I realize that, you th you th you th you th you that you that you that you that you that you're that you're that you're that that of thing that you find funny? And I realize that, you know, in a lot of ways we're quite different people.
Maybe that's not funny to everybody.
I mean, it's pretty funny.
It's pretty fucking funny.
I hope those guys are all right.
Probably not.
I mean,
You laugh about it later?
Would you laugh about it later?
I'd want people to laugh if it were me being the freaky Fridayded corpse.
Yeah, or if my corpse kind of like fell out of the wet pine at the bottom of my coffin and
I sort of rolled nude down the little dirt hill.
Like, I'm just saying, and put this in my will, if you must, or at least I'll tell you guys so you can relay that information, if you go to an open casket viewing of me after my
tragic death and there is a 75-year-old Vietnamese lady in ruggers and blundstones, you're allowed
to laugh at the situation.
You can get some juckles out of that.
You know, I want you to laugh. And similarly, if you are part of a large extant Vietnamese family, and you open, you're
confident, you're confident to find a 36-year-old man in your grandmother's dress.
Tell him he looks nice.
He does look kind of nice with it, though.
It's incredible what those makeup technicians could do. Very impressive. Tell him he looks nice. He does look kind of nice with it, though.
It's incredible what those makeup technicians could do.
Very impressive.
Damn, auntie looks gorgeous today.
That's your crime pass for the week.
Is you can make a tiny whoopsy at work, even if the work that you do is critically important
for people's mental well-being and has huge ramifications in their lives.
Especially you, Theo, do a little fuck up at work as you what happens.
What's the worst that could happen?
If you're one of our like child forklift horde that's been now employed by the federal government,
just have some fun with it.
Just kind of like, you know, see if you can do a full 360 with a pallet loaded.
I mean, I don't know if like...
With that bad boy around.
You know, different people have had different childhoods, but like I feel like everyone had
a fuck around on a forklift when they're a teenager at some point, like...
I haven't. I haven't. You got an uncle with a place and he's like, yeah, go on
then Ben, give it a try. And then you're like, whoa. My uncle was a pitafile. Is that real?
One of them. Sorry. Did he have a fork-liphift though? No, but I think he invented the, uh, the, you have to like, the breathalyzer in your
ignition that gets installed if you do too many DUIs.
Yeah.
Or, that's what my parents came up with to explain why he had a breathalizer in his car,
hooked up to the ignition. I got some questions and probably
some regrets that I've fallen already. You should probably think about them for
the rest of the evening. This is not a story that I've told on the podcast at all
because it's absolutely heinous but since it's come up, last year I found out
that like a family friend of ours when I was growing up was a, was a pedophile. And I found out that like a family friend of ours when I was growing up was a pedophile.
And I found out accidentally because I was on the phone to my mom and she was talking about how
she had Googled someone's name for some reason, like from Harvey Bay, just to, I don't know, look them up or whatever.
And then they had come up in the results for a courier mail article that was like, the worst
crimes to have ever happened in Bunderberg was like the headline of the article.
And it was behind a paywall so she couldn't see what it was.
And I was like, oh, okay. But then then then then then then then then then then then then then then I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thia. thia' th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, th. I was, t. I was, too. I was, too. I was, too. I was, I was like okay but then I opened that article while I was on the phone to
her and then the lead image of it was the face of a man who worked at a hobby
shop that I worked at in Bunderberg illegally when I was 14 and I wasn't really
employed there I was getting paid cash and commission it was very dodgy and I like, huh? That's slightly concerning.
And then I was like, oh wait, I have a sign in for this because of work.
And then had logged in, it turns out the man was a, he was a petophile, was convicted for
having a child pornography collection.
It's pretty weird.
Yeah, that's gonna get a yikes for me.
That was a big yikes moment, but also
mom had like said that as a joke like what I was like oh I wonder what this is for
she was like oh he was pretty creepy and yeah he sure was yeah yeah that's been
Buntavista comedy that's a comedy comedy story to end that on.
What a great episode, I had fun.
You know how like, it's really only like the last 10 minutes of like a movie or a concert of whatever
that is really how you think about at the end is like the last impression, which is why movie executives
are so focused on having happy endings and stuff because that's generally how people rate things. I'm glad I'm glad I put that at the end of the lasting impression, which is why movie executives are so focused on having happy endings and stuff because that's generally how people rate things.
I'm glad I put that at the end of the episode.
Me too.
Yeah.
But like then sometimes you've got movies like pie which you know end with a man drilling.
You know end with a man drilling into his own brain. No, no, it ends with a man sitting, he's the young girl that lives in his building, thua happy. He's just doing little smiles. Because he can't do maths. He's doing little smiles.
He's doing little smiles. He's like the opposite of you. Unless. No power jewels to today.
Thank you for listening to Bonavista. Check out the patron. If you're not already supporting us, that would be lovely. I use that money to buy weed. And we will will will will will will will will will will will will will the their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. He. He. He. He. their. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. that money to buy weed. And we will catch you next week.
Stay safe out there.
Check to see what the worst crimes are in the town that you live in.
Yeah.
You might be surprised who comes up.
Number 14, we'll shock you.
Start with a list of your sort of medium-distance family members and just start, just start duck-duck going.
I googled my family members and friends and I'm low-key shook.
Anyway, bye. Bye. Bye. to