Boonta Vista - EPISODE 246: Notoriously Non-Fatal Automotive Silliness (with Devon)
Episode Date: April 28, 2022Lucy, Andrew, and Ben are joined by Kill James Bond's Devon to talk about: A cyclist's struggle against a mystery liquid, what to do when you've befloured your friend, and a car for broads. Plus: A le...ad piping and a little Tipping Report. *** You can find Devon here: https://twitter.com/Devon_OnEarth *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at mailbag@boontavista.com! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to Buntavista, episode 246.
We're here in 2023 on Elon Musk's epic Twitter.
I'm Lucy and I've just finished posting my daily quota of posting like a sir memes.
With me here is my good online friend Andrew, who is busy deleting any old tweet which implied that Elon Musk has a South
African accent or referred to Grams which is now a banned word on Twitter.com.
Hey Andrew has it?
Don't don't. He's gonna hear. He's gonna hear. Is he gonna hear? How am I ever gonna get to
Mars as a Mars slave if he finds my old tweets you know? You know? That'd be so good. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the the the the the the they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to me to I ever going to get to Mars as a Mars slave if he finds
my old tweets? You know? That'd be so good, wouldn't it? Yeah, apparently now he's like, people
who can't afford to go to Mars will be able to go there and work off the debt.
Did he really say that? Yep. That's so cool. Intentured Mars servitude. That's awesome. That's cool. Where do you that? That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thiiiiiiiiii that's th you that's so th that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so cool. that's so thi. that's so cool. that's so that's so that's so that's so that's so that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the the thi. the the the thi. the thi. thi thi thi. thi. thi. That's awesome. Intergalactic indentured servitude.
That's awesome.
Where do you think Mars is?
One of the galaxies.
Okay.
By intergalactic, I mean inside this galaxy.
Inside the one galaxy.
Intra-intragalactic.
Yeah, from part of this galaxy to another part of the galaxy.
Yeah.
Joining us also is my good online friend Ben, who was just finishing up his quoter of daily
tweets stating that apartheid was actually freaking epic.
Oh.
Ben, don't you wish that you had a Tesla vehicle so that it could drive you directly into
a brick wall killing you instantly?
I do.
But I can't afford the one that has the directly driving into a brick wall functionality. I have th th th th th th the th the th th th th the th th th the th th th th th th th th th th th. Yeah th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th th th th th th th th th-a that that that-in. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that-in' thathea thathea th. th. th. th. thathea thathea thathea that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It has the directly driving into a brick wall functionality.
I have to drive myself into a brick wall.
Yeah, that's rough.
It's real shame.
It's like a status thing.
My friends are like, oh, you have to crash your own car?
Ah, I see, time's a tough.
It's like when you text someone and the message comes up green.
It's basically the same. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th. It's th. It's th. It's thus, it's thus, it's thus, it's thus, it's basically thus, it's that, it's basically thus, it's basically thus, it's the same the same same same the same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same same. It's same. It's same. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thus. It's basically thus. It's basically thus. It's basically that, it's basically that, it's basically tho, it's basically thoasa, it's basically tho. It's basically the same. It's basically the same. It's basically the same. Oh. Yikes. Yuck.
Weird.
Disgusting.
Also here is our fellow podcaster and good online friend Devon, who has been jailed for
their many crimes against our Lord Elon, namely tweeting that PayPal is gay.
Devon, welcome to Buen Vista.
Keeping in mind that you will face the death penalty for answering this incorrectly, which do you find more epic, bacon or funding child labor in the Democratic Republic of the Congo?
Fuck me, Dad.
I think the true epic thing to do is to fund the coup in Bolivia a couple years ago. I think that's sick nasty.
I think that's really epic and cool. And I'd like to just just apologize right now for posting that's sick nasty. I think that's really epic and cool and I'd like to just just
apologize right now for posting that picture of him with the PayPal thing where he's
like still boulding. He looks 55. He looks fucked up. It's so weird. He looks so old. We can
only say this on podcast now, the only free speech platform that's left. That's right. That's right. That's right. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. It's how how how. It's how. It's how. It's how. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's that. It's th. It's so. It's so. It's so. It's so th. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's so weird. It's's left. That's right, that's right.
It's pretty cool how lots of people think that Elon Musk is going to buy Twitter and make
it free speech town.
Yeah. I think that's going to work out for everyone.
A man who famously takes praise criticism, very well. Well, he's also clearly not taken praise well either because he's had like however many
years of nerds telling him that he's Iron Man and he's become absolutely insane.
The human psyche was not meant to have like more than like one person tell you that you're
good uncritically.
Like your mom maybe or a friend that jeez you
up you can have that and you can be psychically healthy, but more than one and you turn into
Elon Musk, it's for the shame.
Yeah, people just telling under those drugs are funny.
Oh boy.
It's like if you trained an AI from being like, we trained an AI only on reading Reddit posts.
I just, I remember that one time that he like posted a picture of 2B
from near Alamada and everyone was like,
Elon could you please like credit the artist here?
And he got so mad about it for like three days.
It was like, no, and then he tweeted, I don't think anyone should ever credit artists. She's like, yeah, I'm out fucking, damn right.
I think, yeah, that's, like, what's cool about Elon Musk is that like,
I think that he is a true reactionary, but in like a very apolitical way, it's totally free of ideology.
It is simply, if anyone gets mad at me, I now hate
the thing that they like.
And I love the thing that they hate.
That's kind of it.
That seems to be the extent of his ideas about pretty much anything other than making
money.
But like with the, hey, bring back free speech on Twitter thing. I keep sort of finding myself going, well, it has a, like, and I. And, and I. And, and I. And, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, yeah, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, yeah, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, like, I, like, like, like, I, like, like, like, like, like, like, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like free speech on Twitter thing. I keep sort of finding myself going.
Well, it hasn't really seemed to work out for like gab and parlour and truth social and all the
other platforms that were like, we're not going to be... It's working out for truth.
There's a great place to post right now. Yeah, is truth social the one where, which is the one that that Trump said he was going to... That's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th. th. th. th. th. th. Well, th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. Well, th. th. Well, well, well, well, well, well, th. the th. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. th. the, the, the, th. thi. the, thi. thi. the, the, the, the, the, thi. the, the, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to post right now. Is truth social the one where, which is the one that Trump said he was gonna...
That's Trump's one, yeah.
Yeah, the one where he said I'm gonna be on there all the time and he's done like one post.
That's right.
I stopped one post saying your president will be here soon.
Awesome.
Awesome.
That rules. But like Gabon Parlor and stuff when they said, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we th, we said, we said, we said, we said, we said, we're th, we said, we're th, we're said, we're not going to censor anything. And it immediately turned into like the Nazi pedophile sex crime island.
And they went, oh, maybe not as much of that stuff, guys.
Oh, I thought this was a sex speech.
Oh, you love free speech, but you hate pedophilia. Oh. Yeah, I just I I strongly suspect that if Elon Musk
does manage to go through with buying Twitter he's going to say put an
edit button on there and don't don't ban any any groopers who post
Lelita stuff if they are fans of me and it won't work out great and
then he'll get bored of it after like three months and sell it and lose like
20 billion dollars. Yeah perfect I mean he's already losing a shitload of money
off this because he he bought it by putting up Tesla stock as the collateral
like five times as much as he needed which is very funny
because that sort of implies that both the banks and him agree that it's worth about a fifth
of what it's at, and that he's immediately tanking it already.
It's perfect. It's ideal.
Yeah, he's already wiped like a hundred billion dollars off the price of Tesla stock,
hasn't he? And doesn't Twitter make like no money? No money.
How do you make money off Twitter?
Jesus.
But the-
What?
Twitter blew, which we're all.
You can't super follow me on Twitter.
Yeah, no, Twitter makes no money and uh, he offered like 40% more than it's valued at,
which is another smart business move.
All for the power of spite.
I think I think the onion really nailed it with that Elon Musk
editorial which was titled, please like me.
Just paragraphs of him saying, I don't like that thing unless you do in which case it's my favorite. It's just, it's so insane that like you can become. you. It's that. It's just, it's so insane that, like, like, like, like, that, that, that, that, the the power, the power, the power, the power, the power, the power, the power, the power the power, the power the power. the power the power, the power, the power, the power, the power, the power, the power, the power the power the power the power, the power, the power, the power, the power, the power, the power, the power, the power, the power, the power. the power. the power. the power. the power. the power. the power. the power. the power. the power. the power. the power. the power. the power. the power. the power. the power. the the the the the the the the the power. the the the the the power. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the power the the power the power the power the power the power the power. the power I don't like that thing unless you do, in which case, it's my favorite.
It's just, it's so insane that like, you can become this rich and this influential and
we still have like a direct line to your neuroses.
Like I remember there was this really good month, like this would have been, I don't know,
seven or eight years ago where the not that famous actor, Stephen Dorf, got
Twitter and he only had like a thousand followers and he would just get very drunk and like
post really bad photos of his food when he was drunk could be like, how are you guys doing?
And then you'd chat to Stephen Dorf. And you'd be like, right, that makes sense.
I love that we've created this line to celebrities. It's the only good thing.
. T th. T th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, celebrities. That's the only good thing that Twitter has ever done. That's so good.
But like it checks out a little bit for me there when you're like, okay, you've not reached
a massive level of fame, you don't have a PR person handling this, whatever.
You're Stephen Dorf, you get drug on Twitter, that's cool. And then eventually he did get too famous to be able to be tha to be to be tha to be thoom. But thuuuuuuuu. But thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu the the thu theate the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to toea. toea. toea. toea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. never happened with Musk. He's like being like, I hate pronouns while his partner is like,
so please stop, please stop. You could just be being massaged while getting your dick jacked
off at the same time. And instead you're posting. You could be getting a hand job where every
stroke of the hand job is from a different person. They're like rotating in and out.
That's true. Like you said with great rhythm.
Congoline running past.
Yeah.
You could be doing literally anything.
Like, you could be crushing Lamborghinis into each other.
Hold on, come back to the hand job because what I'm...
Yeah, okay, fair enough.
See, I'm picturing what you would need.
Oh, this is tricky because they've got to move past you but they've also got to be kind of synchronized. But I'm getting a mental image of like, as well.
You know like the old, you know the old Hollywood movies where where the camera goes down
the side of the fool as a row of ladies all tip down and dive in. I want that kind of mechanical precision.
But yeah, I was picturing kind of a sorcerer's apprentice situation. Yeah, maybe they're all on like a one of those small trains that they have at zoos, you know.
Yeah. Everybody gone past? Yeah. You ever seen footage of people driving in railway spikes where it's like three guys with mallets and like they're perfectly synchronized? Yeah. Yeah, something like that is happening but obviously there's maybe two lines of people moving past you in opposite direction? Yeah, thir thir they they they th they they they they th they're th th they're th they're they're th th they're the the they're the they're the the the the they're the the the they're the they're they're they're all they're they're all they're all they're all they're they're they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all th. yeah th. yeah th. yeah th. th. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Yeah, theeee. Yeah, thee. Yeah, theee. Yeah, theee. Yeah, thee. Yeah, theee. Yeah, they're they're they're the. Yeah, something like that is happening
but obviously there's maybe two lines of people moving past you in opposite
directions and then as one is lifting their hand off the next ones you know.
But not that like posting on Twitter instead of that. Yeah that's what he's
giving up. It's not a great trade deal. It's not good. It's not good.
Speaking of Musk, sometimes the thing is sprayed on you that leaves a strange scent.
This of course brings us to our regular segment.
Mystery liquid.
Mystery liquid.
Can't tell what color it is with a slick oily sheen.
What could it mean?
Mystery Liquid, I see some goop that is forming a pool on the floor.
Who is it for?
I'm gonna taste the mystery liquid. This comes to us from Cycling Weekly.
Florian Seneschal believes.
This comes to us from Cycling Weekly.
Florian Seneschal believes Parry Spectad Spectai spectator sprayed him with urine.
Believes.
This is an important thing.
Big, big, I want to believe poster up in this guy's place.
It's not a UFO, though. It's not a UFO.
It's a spray bottle full of piss.
This guy's a piss truther.
Florian Seneschal claims a fan poured urine on him while he was riding at Paris Roubaix on Sunday after being sprayed with a pungent liquid with just over 25 kilometers left in the race.
I gotta hear about the color. What color was it? At the point where you're getting piss like sprayed on you by this guy, I wouldn't refer to them as a fan at that point.
I think that's an enemy.
Yeah, it could have been a fan of a different rider.
A hostile observer.
Huge fan of me.
The quickstep alpha vinyl rider believes a spectator through a mixture of urine and beer
on him as he was exiting the 1.3 Kil, Siswang a Borgel cobbled sector,
dampening Senechal's spirits further
as he questioned why someone would do such a thing.
It also dampened him just generally.
I can only believe, if you say someone through a mixture of urine and beer, you've got to have tasted it, right?
It's a really specific mixture. How else are you got to have tasted it, right?
That's a really specific mixture.
How else are you making that call?
If you've been drinking beer, surely your piss is a mixture of urine and beer.
Yeah, that's true.
That's true.
Yeah.
Yep.
I remember getting into an extended argument with somebody once
about, like like drinking water,
right?
And how...
You don't need to do it.
Yeah, we don't have to.
The cowards and...
But like the thing that we were talking about was whether or not you drink something,
when you drink something like beer, whether you are consuming any water, whether
you... like if you drink something that is water
with other stuff added to it,
and they're like, no, now you're not drinking water.
And I was like, well, there's water.
There's water and then there's the other stuff.
And I'm drinking it, they're like, no,
the other stuff's in it.
It's tot's dehydrating you. You've got
you have some water with your beer. Well yeah but like you still there's still
water in the beer that you drink. There's water in it. Thank you. This guy knows
what's up. I sort of on I think you're not getting the effects of the alcohols, not a dehydrator. It's physically there, but it's not spiritually there.
Yeah, that's true.
Quote, I was riding with Alexander Christoph as the exit of Ciswang.
Sinichael told La Voix do not. I feel something splash on my own. I think it is beer, but I actually smell.
It's urine.
There, I am totally demoralized.
I don't understand how we can do that."
End quite.
Yeah?
I think we touched on this a little bit in the story we did a little while ago about
people throwing traffic codes into a river in America where they're like, why
would anyone do this?
It is fun.
I think it's just, this is really a why would anyone do this?
Because you can, you know?
You know, it's not a complex psychological phenomenon.
Uh, society tries to shackle us at every turn.
It does.
You know, and every now and then people have to
find a way to break free to do something that society says, hey, you're not really meant to do that.
You shouldn't put piss on the top-level cyclists. Don't put any piss on the elite athlete. I don't think they did. I'm going to say it. Beer smells a little bit like piss. I thrown. I think th. I th. I thin thin thin thi. I thin thi. I thi. I thin thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I don't thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. B s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s' thi. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. I thi. B. I thi. B. I thi. B. I thi. Soooooooooooooooooooo. B. B. I th. I th this is being really dramatic. You reckon he's just beer. I think it was just beer. What's this guy's star sign?
Can we find this out?
Probably a date.
Yeah, it was probably...
How many people called Florian Seneschal could they possibly be?
Not that many.
Uh, 10th of July.
What does that make him?
Is that a cancer?
It sounds like a cancer behavior. I have a real bitch-made guys, the cancers.
Absolute bitch move.
Uh, despite finishing 13th, this incident further compounded the misery
Sinichala felt on the cobbles on Sunday.
Well, riding over cobbles is going to make you fucking miserable, bro.
That's so European.
Get some pavement.
Investment, investment, idiot.
Invest in some pavement, idiot.
We've had smooth roads for like 80 years to help.
Yeah, fuck Europe.
Get some smooth roads or do the race in a car, you know?
Maybe a four by four.
The Frenchman seemed in a strong position with less than 50 kilometers
left to go in the race, riding near the front of the pack as he came into the Monsa Pavilion
sector. However, an attack by Wut van Irt, oh we got a fucking Dutch in the mix.
Fuck yes, baby. It left Seneschal and a few other riders playing catch up to the Belgian.
As the Belgian.
As the action intensified, Seneschal unfortunately crashed as he attempted to keep pace losing
his grip and balance on the treacherous cobbles.
Sounds like the Pierce wasn't really to blame for this performance.
Yeah.
I think it was the falling off the bike.
It's just blaming the piece, it wasn't the couples or my riding.
It was the we-wee.
This man's just refusing to take his L.
Disgraceful behavior, no honor.
So it's hard to tell though I would really like to know.
Oh, yeah, okay. So he was, um, yeah.
The piss happened halfway through his decent performance of the 50
Columbus left to go on the race. It's hard to say what having a mystery liquid
thrown on you would do to a mental state in this kind of situation. I think we
can all agree that he is weak. Yes, absolutely.
Wutven Eaert and Stefan King joined Van Bauer on the podium, with Seneschal disappointed at
the multiple incidents he was involved in during the race, especially the mystery liquid
poured over him by a spectator.
Is that from the audience?
Did you Google mystery?
Mr. Nisner?
I mean, I don't want to, I'm not going to pull back the curtain here and tell you how I find
these stories, but I will say searching for the exact phrase mystery liquid is part of the process of finding mystery liquid stories.
That's fair. It doesn't come up often actually. I was quite chuff to see this one.
You know, sometimes you're speaking about things that make you fall over on a road.
Yeah, all right? That's what we're doing right now. Yeah. And of
course this would be the perfect time to smoothly slide into a segment
known as the tipping report. I'm a minute for another edition of the tipping report.
Has been I got to ask has this completely replaced the shipping report in
your heart at this point? the shipping report in your heart?
Oh no, we still do both.
Okay.
You know, it depends what's more exciting on a given week.
The tipping report, obviously if this is yours.
What involves more deaths on a given week?
No, these are both deaths free.
I want to stress that. No, I'm sorry, I mean, I know that the segments themselves that we present present present present present we present we present we present we present we present we present we present we present we present we present, oh we present, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, that we present, that we present, that we present, that we present, that we present, that we present, that we present, that we present, that we present, that we present are the, that that that that that that that that that that that that, that, that, that, that, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th.. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thea. thea. taping, thea, thea, thea, the, the, thefree. I'm saying as you are going through the shipping news and the trucking news,
yeah, maybe you will lean towards which one had less fatal incidents.
Fewer fatalities. I will say more injuries in the typing report than there are in the shipping report
I have found so far. To be fair, at sea, if you get injured at all, you're dead.
at at the sea so often at like a 19th century level, but still.
Like, I don't understand what's happening out there.
Yeah, the sea has not changed.
The sea's brutal still.
Yeah.
She's still a big, wet bitch.
Amen.
But also, yeah.
Like, a lot of the stories that we have about shipping-related issues are like, there the the the the the the their their their their their their their their th. their th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thiol, thiol, thiole, thi, thi, thiolomea, thiolomea, thi, thi, thoomk, thoom. thoom. tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea related issues are like there was a fire on the boat.
Yeah, or they lightly collided with each other. Yes or...
Or a shipping container laden boat bonked into something.
Whereas, and I don't want to be a down though, this segment is essentially a list of car accidents.
Which is, you know, yeah. They're bad, not funny necessarily. Anyway, here we go.
So I've designed to simplify the format of this, uh, this segment a little bit,
because I had to find different ways of phrasing the fact that a truck spilled some way,
so I'm now going to... Can I ask, can I ask a question real quick? Yeah. Are we behind are we the the the the the the the th the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that th that that th that that that that that that that that thate the the the not the not th the not th th the not thu. not thu. Not funny, not funny, not funny, not funny, not thu. Not funny, not funny, not thu. Not th. Not th. Not, not funny, not th. Not, not th. Not, not th. Not, not, not, not, not th. Not, not th. Not, not th. Not, not th. Not, not that that that that the the the the the the thean. theanan. Not, not thean. Not, not thoan. Not, not tho tho theanan't that that truck spilled somewhere. So I'm now gonna... Can I ask a question real quick?
Yeah.
Are we behind the curtain right now?
Because it feels like we're behind the curtain.
No, this is...
Have you pulled back the curtain?
I'm fluttering the curtain a little bit.
But it's to explain the way that I truck spill put that substance at that location.
Okay, let's go.
Out of respect, I'm not looking back at the open curtain.
Please don't.
Yeah, I'm just, I'm, I'm scared ahead.
It's private.
It's private.
We appreciate that you're not.
Yeah.
A truckload of white paint on Kelly Avenue in Edmund, Oklahoma.
That's. A truckload of white paint on Kelly Avenue in Edmund, Oklahoma.
That's a, that's no good.
Yeah, it got all over people's cars as well.
And people did not like that.
You know when you see like just on a random street somewhere that, you know,
someone has dropped a tin of paint off the back of a yut or something like that.
That's there for ever. Yeah, no, it's never. Proper splatter, it's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. That's that's no thoome. thoome. that's no good good. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their thoooooooooooooooooooooo'er. their their their their thoooooooo That's there for ever. Yeah, no it's never good. Proper splatter it's there forever. Now imagine a truckload.
One bucket of glue on the San Mateo Haywood Bridge in California.
That could cause some drama. I love that shit because that's not a crash.that's just like one bucket has fallen off the back.
Yeah, oh so good.
But it could cause chaos.
Oh absolutely.
Yeah, but like car combat game chaos of like the person behind you suddenly loses, you know,
yeah. This is like a Mario cart level of driving. Yeah.
Yeah. Oh fuck.
Opposive like an oil slick on a James Bond car or some
shit. Mmm. Cooking oil on the M25 between and uh tell me if I'm pronouncing this right or wrong.
South Mims and Enfield. Yeah no that's the right. Yep that's correct. Those are the two
normalist British place names though so. Yeah that's where someone in fake taxi is driving to.
Where you went up to South Mins, first.
Oh, I gotta get to South Mins, but I forgot me purse.
Oh, I reckon we can work something out, love.
Christ a life.
I gotta get in a big task go before it closes.
Oh, can I come back there with you, love? I've seen like two fake taxi stickers on the back of cars recently where I'm just like
what are you?
What do you do?
Do you think that you're the fake taxi?
Is that what they mean?
What's the end game here?
Yeah.
Just like, you know, don't be ashamed of porn that's fine, that's natural, whatever.
Don't put it on your fucking car, you creep. Get a sticker that says real taxi.
And then just see if you can work something out.
Yeah, I think that actually there might be a lot of regulatory issues.
There might be some issues with that one.
Yeah. You can't get a sticker that says the cab that trades sex for affairs.
And that's a free speech issue that we should take up. Let's tell the the the the the the the the the the the the the that. that th th that th the that that that the the that the that the the the the the the the the the the. the. the that that thate. the. the. You the. You can't the. You can't the. You can't the. You can't that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the the the the the the threate threate to threate to threaten to threaten to threaten the threaten toe the threats toe threats toe toe that toe for fares. And that's a free speech issue that we should take up.
Tell Elon about that.
I will say that a truckload of cooking oil that will produce a much more Mario Cart-like
effect.
Yeah, that's a recipe for silliness for automotive silliness.
Notoriously non-fatal automotive silliness.
The hijinks are on the fucking horizon and you're spilling oil.
Let's go.
Um, Corsold 2000 on US Highway 59 near the Big Jake restaurant at Moscow, Texas.
Moscow Texas. Yeah, and I bet you, I fucking bet you, they pronounce it like Moscow, Moscow, te-Texas. Yeah, and I bet you.
I fucking bet you.they pronounce it like Moscow.
I'm willing to bet so bad. I just wanted to find out, Corseal 2000. Yeah, what's that? I don't know what that is. It's a compound.
Oil. Yeah, I also immediately good. Coarsole series oil. It offers a low pour point, good solvency and colour stability. Yep.
Oh, nice.
One of the many benefits of Corsol 2000.
Thank you to sponsor this week show.
Coursol 2,000.
Big Jake's barbecue on the other hand.
Oh, how many restaurants are they called Big Jake's?
Well, there's only one big, it's Big Jake restaurant, or Big Jake.
It's a Rout, not Big Jake's. There's no possessive arrest there.
It's a Routes Chris situation.
But there's, but there's a Big Jake's Western dive in Moscow, Texas.
Wait, does he have two, does he have a bar and a restaurant?
Maybe they're using big, at the same way that you say big tobacco this is big Jake he is the industry in Moscow Texas big jakes Moscow Texas all right what's on the menu that's what
I want to know you all right you peruse that I'm gonna keep going with
this 16 cows on interstate 80 near Joliet Illinois oh did like they like spilled
or of yeah but they lived the cows survived incidentally Lucy I don't know this this is a was this tipping? They like spilled or they just like, well they lived.
The cow survived.
Incidentally, Lucy, I don't know,
this is a fun bit of trivia,
but the last time I saw you in person,
before I got into Chicago where we hung out,
I went to Joliet, in Illinois.
That was the lastoliet Ironworks and then I drove in Chicago. That sounds pretty boring. Yeah it was it was very boring actually but it was
I did that. Well yeah 16 cows. The cows lived which is good to know. So um at Big Jake's
it seems like it is big Jake's Western dive Moscow Texas right but the Western dive is very small. They're doing a much better price on pancakes than we are. It's a fuck sanake. Big Jake's a th. the th. It is like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like. they. they. they. they. they. they. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. It was th. It was th. It was very very very th. It was very th. tou. tou. tou. tou. tou. tou. tou. tou. tou. tou. their their their their their their their right? But the Western dive is very small.
They're doing a much better price on pancakes than we are, because we talked about the
pancake parlor recently.
Oh, pancakes in America, you're getting a great deal.
Yeah, yeah.
Check out America if you're looking for pancakes.
Here we're like three pancakes with nothing on them, that will be 30 Australian dollars. Yeah. That's what we like to say to people.
At Big Jakes, you can get three eggs, choice of one meat,
hash browns, two pancakes, or a biscuit with gravy for $9.95.
Oh, that's not too bad at all. And when they say your choice of one meat,
you name any animal. Any fucking meat, baby. Anything.
You can get pancakes stack of three, $5.
That is so much more reasonable, you know.
They got one of those weird American zoos out back and you can just peruse that.
Any meat?
Have you got sloth?
Oh, we got slothed.
You can get yourself. Four pieces of fried quail served with ranch dressing for 1095.
Is that real?
Foyle with a ranch?
You can get fried frog legs tossed in crystal hot sauce and tiny.
Oh, they do just have meats?
What the fuck are you talking about?
They're just got meats in this fish, god.
You can get a a cup of crawfish etophie? Oh why are
they doing French cuisine? Is this like East Texas? Where is this? Is there a bisque?
Etufé? Is it a dish found in both Cajun and Creole cuisine? Yeah yeah this is
got to do over rice. You can also get yourself fried pickles with ranch.
Mountain oysters. What is a mountain oyster?
Is that the test? Is not a testicle? Yeah, sheep's testicles I'm pretty sure.
Yeah, rocky mountain oysters or mountain oysters or meatballs also known as prairie oaistries in
Canada. That's the one. Or in French, animas. Yeah, shut that on my fucking pancake. Why not?
There go. You can also get chicken fries. Or in French, animals. Yeah, shut that on my fucking pancake. Why not?
There you can also get chicken fried steak, chicken fried pork or chicken
what does that mean?
Chicken fried steak is the fucking best.
It's so good.
I've been meaning to do chicken fried steak again.
You can get yourself a chicken fried steak sandwich basket.
What's in the basket?
All right.
That's a series of words.
Oh, you get a basket with a sandwich in it and they put fries in the basket too.
Oh, okay. I thought it was like a basket made out of a sandwich.
That would be...
No reasonable version would read those words and think that.
It would be pretty cool to me.
Chicken fried steak sandwich basket with fries $9.95.
You just can't beat that value.
Get yourself down to Big Jake's Western dive.
And you know that the way that's working there are getting paid the federally
mandated minimum wage $2.50 an hour.
That's right. You got a tip for those taskles, baby. Oh, you want to pay more for your pancakes?
You can get yourself a 16 ounce rib eye steak for 2895.
Ask for a larger steak upon request, $2 per additional ounce.
Now that's just fucking business.
That's decent. Hell yeah.
Hell yeah, I'm going, I'm taking myself down to Big Jake's Western dive.
Now I've got, um, I've got two more things here on the tipping report.
Mm-hmm.
I have a load of raw chicken in downtown Tuscaloosa, Alabama.
You're gonna get salmonella.
It's no good to me.
Yeah, if you eat it. Yeah, it's a free chicken, that's free chicken. How soon have I come across the chicken chicken you know?
I did like, you were hit by the raw chicken truck. I am. I took some some frozen chicken thighs out of the freezer yesterday and I like
because I was going to do something with him for dinner and I put him in the microwave and like started defrosting them in there. You left him in there. Well and then then El no the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll to to to they. I'll. I'll to to to to to to to tho. I the the chicken. I the chicken. I the chicken. I'll. the chicken. the chicken. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'm th. I'm to. I'm to. I'm to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. the the the the th. I put them in the microwave and like started defrosting them in there. You left him in there didn't you? Well and then Elno went to
Costco and came home with like an easy dinner from Costco and this morning I
woke up and went, oh fucking chickens in the microwave still isn't it?
And I was like it's good it's good it's good it's getting been microwaving this all time. I was like it's pretty it's pretty cool and I the I the I the I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th I'll th th th th th. I'll th. I'll to to to to to to to the th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll thi the thi. I'll the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. I'll thi.'s getting towards the point. You know? I was like it's pretty, it's pretty cool and
um, oh I leave I leave stuff out to defrost and it will be completely defrosted but if it's
cold, whatever, it's fucking fine. This I picked it up in the microwave and I was like, that is so room
room temperature. Well yeah, because it was warm and then it was in a sealed small environment. Yeah, yep. That's actually the perfect environment for bacterial growth, actually.
You've created like a fucking...
So in the microwave is the danger zone that is referred to as the temperature danger zone.
It's that.
Uh, so I did something that I do not frequently do,
which is I just popped that bad boy straight in the bin.
Yeah, that's fair. Wow. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th that's th th th th th th thiue. th thozy the the the the the the thoome. the the thoomathea'er. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thue. thue. thue. thue. thue. thue. thue. thue. thue. thue. thue. thiue. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. theananueueueueueueueue. theananananneuoooooooooooooooooooooooooe. Soe. the. boy straight in the bin. Yeah, that's fair. Saluted it on the way out.
Sorry for wasting you $6 worth of chicken or whatever.
Wow.
We lived well.
Reasonable.
And finally, I have 250 kilos of weed
on interstate 70 west of San Luis Zuri.
Yeah, can I get a triangulate location on that's what we call that.
You mean marijuana? 250. 50. That's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a little. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait, sorry. Wait, sorry. Wait, sorry. Wait, look. Wait, look a little. Wait, look a little. Wait, let's a little. that's a little. that's a little. that's a little. that's a little. that's a little. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're. We're a little. We're a little. We're a little. We're a little. We're a little. We're a little. We're a little. We're a little. We're a little. We're a little. We're a little. We're a little. Wait. We're a little. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. We're th. We're th. th. We're th. We're th. We're marijuana? I mean that's sweet marijuana.
250 kilograms.
That's almost as much as Andrew grew and then had stolen from his house.
That sounds like a small amount of weed to me actually.
You have had weed one time in the last year and it was at Andrew's house and you hated
it.
Made me feel very anxious actually.
I couldn't tell because you didn't move for like six hours.
That's how you know weed is good if you can't socialize with the people that you're
spending time with.
Is that what you're supposed to do?
Yeah I'm try to talk Maddie into weed at the moment and no argument I have sounds
good where I'm like, oh it'll be great You won't want to talk to me. We'll be too focused on what we're doing to enjoy it.
Oh man, I got super high. Completely catatonic,
off that fennel, phenomenal.
Don't do what I did, which was obviously do that extremely repetitive task of packing
posters while always a little bit high, which I essentially just like black-sighted myself. When you say you're micro-dosing canniburter?
Obviously I made some cannibur right and I was trying to figure out what the potency of it was.
Yeah.
Um, which the general rule of thumb is, uh, the potency of every batch of canterbuter you make
is about three times as much as you think it is.
That is correct, that's what I found I found I was packing those posters for guilt, too, but...
Um, I was, I was, uh, explaining to somebody the other day, probably my wife.
I was probably mansplaining to my wife.
Uh, we're talking about how, like, I think for a lot of people if they very occasionally have
weed but they do it in the specific context of I'm going to have a bit of weed and then
be on this couch while the TV is on, it's very easy to just get like locked to the couch.
And then it's like pretty exciting if you do something like go to the kitchen or take
the bins out, you know, you're like, oh, look at me out here in the big open world.
Yeah, that's my typical.
Yeah.
Whereas what you should do is take yourself entirely outside of that context and get really
high.
And then you're having an adventure, you know?
Oh, I'm trying to buy popcorn at the concession stand. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm like th. I'm like th. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm th. I'm th. I'm liketrying to buy popcorn at the concession stand. I'd, oh yeah I got, I got very high and went to see the Northman with my friend.
Was it good? It was so fucking good. It was very, very good. I have been curiously watching
the some takes roll in about like, oh, white supremacists like a movie about a buff Viking, so the movie
must be white supremacist.
Well, no, I think you'll actually find that's all on the grounds of David Eggers' hair cut.
Uh, well, I will dispute that on the grounds of his long and luscious eyelashes.
He sounds sexy. A man has got some... Everybody thinks he's British by looking at him, which is fair.
I think he's got like a very, he's got a very British look about it. I think the hair coming.
What do you mean by that? Yeah, what's where he go with this pal? What do you, what are you,
what are you driving out there son? Look. He looks like a swamp freak? that's fair enough, like I understand.
It looks like a pedophile.
But then you find out he's American and you're going, oh, okay.
But yeah, it was really good, but the cinema that I went to,
they had a sign up that was like olive oil popcorn, and I went, excuse me?
No, I love the olive oil popcorn.
Did you go the palace?
It wasn't the olive or popcorn. Did you go to the palace? It was at the palace. And then I went up and I said, I will have a popcorn.
I will have your largest popcorn and Coca-Cola.
And this man has the nerve to turn around.
He turned his whole body around, you know, 180 degrees.
And he pointed, he pointed at the really large popcorn machine that was
directly behind him and filling up my whole field of vision, which was empty with its
light turned off and a big sign on the thrucks and said, popcorn machine is broken.
Oh my god. And I went, oh, and then I went, I'll just take the Coke. And he went, we have Pepsi.
It's the worst experience.
Why don't I just kill myself in front of you?
I said, make it Pepsi Max for God's sake.
So I took my Pepsi Max and my bag of peanut eminem's.
Didn't have anything salty though.
Oh, that olive popcorn's yummy.
It's real salty.
Cinema was too small.
Bad projection.
Loved it.
Had a great time.
Palace, which location of Palace is it?
This was, this was in the Cinema District in Cambrou.
The Palace Cinema District Cambra, you are on blast.
I should specify there is one cinema and it's that one in that particular place
Cool. I had like a weird weird vibe gone over the projection where like when um maybe you can explain to me what was happening here Ben
Where when it was like a full black on the frame there was like a large sort of red patch in the middle of the screen Oh no, I don't know. Well generally that might be just from some emergency lighting that's the that. There was like, the the the the th that was like, that was like, that was like, that that that that that that that that that that the that that that that the that that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that that that that like like like like, I that like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. that that that that that that that that that that that the middle of the screen?
Oh no, I don't know.
Well, generally that might be just from some emergency lighting that's on the roof and you were stoned
and you had a hard time figuring out.
Yeah, maybe.
But either way, I'd unironically had a fantastic time, very good movie.
I'm glad that that wasn't infused with irony for you. Nope. Because, hey, if you're really high and you're a and you're th and you're th and you're th and you're th and you're th and you're th and you're th and you're out and you're out and you're th and you're th and you're thi and infused with the irony for you. Nope.
Uh, because hey, if you're really high and you're out of the house, you're having an adventure,
you know, the popcorn machine's broken.
That's nightmarish, but okay.
That's just, that's just, you know, a little bump on the road.
It's a cobble on the long street of your piss-soaked journey, you know?
Yeah. You you. You you. You you. You you. You really. You really. You really. You really. You really. You really? You really? You really? You really. You really? You really? You really? You really that you really that you really that you really really really that you really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really started that you really started that you really started the the the the that the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's th. th. th. th. that's th. that that that that that that that that that. that that. that that. that. th. th. th. You really started like that was going to be the start of a segue and then it seemed you...
I'm not... Where are you going with this?
Oh, no way.
Just for like three points this part where I was like, I'm pretty sure he's trying to
gin up a segue and then it just hasn't been.
I... I... You know, I was simply, I would have thought that you guys would understand at this point that I was simply trying to advocate for the joys of being high in public.
Sometimes I think that even after all these years, you guys don't really know me.
Sometimes I think we need to see someone about the state of our relationship and who
would we see?
But Dr. Lucy.
Yep, this is of course where we take complex interpersonal problems and we present them
to our resident relationships, Dr. Lucy. This is a post from the Reddit, sub-reddit,
Relationships Over 35, my personal favorite. Oh, that's a new one. I haven't seen this one before. I'm not seen this one. I. I'm not seen this one. I'm not seen this. I. I. I. I. I this. I this. I. I this. I this. I. I this. I. I this. I the same the same the same. I. I. I the same the same. I. I the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've the same. I've th. I've th. I've the same. I'm th. I've th. I've th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I've. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th th. I'm th th th th th th th thin. I'm not th th theeeeeean. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not th th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm not th. I'm notdit, a Relationships Over 35, my personal favorite.
Oh, that's a new one.
I haven't seen this one before.
You both have, I've done several stories from it before.
But that's all right, I barely pay attention to me to.
This is,
we're gonna go on a bit of a journey with this one.
Okay. So, we'll start here with the original post.
Our relationships over 35.
Embarrassing, quote, flowery incident with another male leaving behind a guilt feeling.
That classic pickle.
Mm-hmm.
At my, brackets, 37, male, house, recently and not concentrating, I spilled flour on my friends, 48, male, the thirty-eight, male, we' we' we' we' we' we' we' we' we' we' we' the, the, the, the, the, th. We're, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, our, our, our relationships, our, our, our relationships, our their, our relationships, our relationships, our th- their, our relationships, our relationships, our their- their- their- their relationships, our relationships, our relationships, our relationships, our the male, house, recently and not concentrating, I spilled flour on my
friends, 48 male, suit trousers.
All been there.
Feeling embarrassed, I dusted it off, but really felt his privates in doing so.
I liked it.
I am by, married five years, I had never touched a male in that way before.
He didn't seem to mind and made nothing of it.
He is also married and by.
My wife, thirty-eight, female, knows I'm by and accepts it as she is quite understanding.
Our sex life has stopped since our son was born and have been told this can happen.
I'm feeling guilty of what happens.
I mean this can happen like it happens when you spill flower on your friend's
dick and then you touch a dick. No I think the thing that he was told can happen is
stopping having sex after a child was a child's recently been born.
That makes more thing. What is your take on this please? No disrespectful replies, please.
Now, no disrespectful replies.
This obviously has some hallmarks of...
This is someone telling on themselves a little bit, right?
You can sort of...
Oh yeah.
They want someone to be like, you know.
You're into it.
Once I want to reply, you should fuck your friend.
Yes.
You should do it now.
That would be cool.
Oh well, I mean.
I guess I must.
I have to.
It also has a slight air of someone who is getting some form of sexual gratification
from describing the incident as well.
Well, I mean, we can all understand that. I'm just, I'm a little curious about the, my wife knows that I'm by and accepts it.
But, I mean, Lucy, you're a big math's head, right?
Yeah?
Married at first sight.
I think it was, last year, the elder's been watching for good name. It was a by guy and, like, um, like, to say, um, like, to say, um, the, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, the, my, my, my, my, the, the, the, the, um, um, um, um, my, my, my, my, my, um, um, um, my, my, my, my, my, um, my, my, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the last year the elders been watching it for good name.
It was a by guy and like sometimes when you watch a show like that a reality show on
Australian network television you get a little window into how most people might just be acting out there in the world you know.
Yeah. Like you gotta get a slightly more normy view of the world. And the way that the entire
cast of this show reacted to being informed that this dude had had like less than a handful
of sexual encounters with men at some point in the
past.
Yeah, that was psycho about it.
They were all just like, oh I'm totally fine with it.
But then I was like, do you want to have sex with that guy?
Oh, you said, oh, wait, the way as a man, you're sure you're not going to suck his dick. Yeah, it was, it was quite remarkable to see a group of like I assume 20 and 30 something
year old Australians all act like it was the most fucking scandalous thing that they'd ever heard.
Bisexual, like attracted to two kinds of people.
And, and I, in my memory the crux of the issue was this woman saying like,
uh, yeah, well maybe we can be married, but what if he, what if he gets the penis urge?
And he has to have his penis it scratched, you know? Is he, is he going to be able to go without the penis for the rest of his life? We all have it. That's what being married is. It's ignoring the penis urge.
Get a strap on. What do you mean?
Very, very straight. We have the technology now. We can do it. It's really easy. So while I do look at that and think that it's funny to say my, my wife knows about my condition. Clevities. Also. Yes, but the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the pain is the pain is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is is. Get is. Get is is is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. It is. It is. It is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thin is. Get is. Get is. Get is. Get is. my condition. My condition.
Clevities.
Yes, but then, but then, my shiel, if you spill flour, if you spill flour on someone's private parts,
you do, you should not dust it off.
You are not under an obligation to dust that off yourself.
There's an area, like there's a line where it starts where if you've spilled the thing in that area, you are under no obligation
to clean it anymore.
I'm going to say, naval to mid-thigh.
Yeah.
I disagree.
I think if you do spill flour on your home's testicles and crotch area, you can't just
add to their pants or some shit.
You can't dust it off, but what you can't dust't be interpreted as sexual. You want to just
just back of the shit. Not in that area. Yeah, yeah. He needs to be, he needs to be flitching
and pulling away. Like just, smack it like a swing. You want to use the blade of your hand like
your karate jumping and just really... That's the ideal scenario. Don't have any ambiguity there because it might lead to what happened to this man.
Now I'm going to read some other posts from this gentleman and I'm going to read them to you in reverse chronological order, just the titles.
Here we go. So this is a post he did in R slash relationship goals.
An embarrassing incident with another male leads to a guilty feeling. This is a post
in R slash relationships. An embarrassing incident with another mail leads to a guilty feeling.
In a deleted post in R slash relationships over 35, physical flowery contact with another
mail. Come on. Now all the ones I'm about to read to are all deleted posts from R slash relationships.
Embarrassing encounter between guys.
I feel guilty over physical contact with another male.
I am feeling guilty over physical contact with another male.
I am feeling guilty over innocent physical contact with another male.
I am feeling guilty over innocent physical contact with another male.
I am feeling guilty about an incident that happened with another male.
Spilled flower on Fred's trousers and guilt.
Guilt and spilled flower.
Spilled flower.
Spilled flower.
Spilled fillour.
Spilled fillour.
Spilled flower.
Spilled flower.
Guilt over spilled flour. Guilt over spilled flower? That one has a question mark.
Male, 37, spilled flour on a male friend's 48 trouser, felt his penis on dusting it off.
I liked it though.
Wife knows I buy and accepts that.
Do I need to feel so guilty?
And then I have one more for you.
This one is posted in R slash jerk buds. 37, male, buy, chubby, average-sized
manhood looking for regular jerk made on Snapchat. Similar age, no face, message user name.
My wife is cool with it. Hmm. Hmm. My brother, just be bus sexual. It's completely legal.
You just joke off with some guys.
Like, it's normal.
You don't need to do the flower pretense.
That's so many posts about the flower.
It's walking around with the fucking cup of flower.
It's like, what?
Oh, shit.
Sorry, brother.
I'm so sorry.
Either your wife knows, and this is like an understanding you have
that is mutually beneficial
to both of you, or you straight up cheating, but don't, the flower thing is very silly.
This is extremely frivolous.
He's like, honey, how's your day?
And he's like, oh, I spilled flour on Steve again.
You're not going to believe this.
So embarrassing.
I also really enjoy that in his original post he says that he spilled flower on his friend's
suit trousers.
Like these are some fancy gentlemen, you know, they're like, hey, I immediately thought of
it like as out of wedding or something.
Like that was what happened to mentally.
I'm imagining, um, hey, uh, look, so lunch break at work at the accounting firm,
but like, I just live around the corner, you want to come back to my place for lunch.
Yeah? Oh, I make it a quick lunch. You get there.
Oh, I better dredge these pieces of fish with these handfuls of fl-
Oh, oh, oh, no, dust, dust, dust, dust, dust, dust, dust, dust dust, dust dust dust.
Oh no, dust dust dust dust dust dust dusting down, dusting up, and then increasing the speed at which I'm doing that as your breathing seems to quicken.
Dust on, my wife is okay with this. My wife is fine.
My wife loves this. My wife loves this. My wife has been a problem. She knows about my deal knows where the eyes seem like them moving.
Where the eyes seem like they're moving. My wife is behind that painting and she is loving this.
Oh dear.
So, uh, so do we, we think?
I mean, I don't even know how you're spilling flour onto somebody's lap.
Yeah, there's some like context that's missing here that I would just love to have.
Yeah.
Hey, you see any weevils in this flower? Oh, I tripped.
I don't know. I don't know at what stage this is happening.
Why was your friend in a suit and what did you need the flower for?
Yeah, you're making fresh pasta on a business lunch.
I will generally say, when I'm embarrassed about something, I don't usually make 35 separate Reddit posts
about it. Asking for people to weigh in, you know? I will say congratulations to
him for finally finding the formulation of this post that didn't get deleted.
Yeah. Yeah. He got there. He wanted this advice. He wanted someone so bad to be
like not only is it morally right for you to go back and suck him off? but it's actually e-it's a the same to their way to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to people people people people people people people people people people people people people people people to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the their people their people their their their their their their their their their they. this advice. He wanted someone so bad to be like, not only is it morally right for you to go back and suck him off,
but it's actually extremely hot as well.
You should have been getting...
You should have been getting all the flower off of his suit pants with your tongue.
Yeah, something a little damp to get it off.
Foolish, we don't like to waste food.
Hi everybody, it's me.
It's Theo.
Now I guarantee you I'm more afraid of recording this promo than you are of listening to it, so
hear me out.
If you haven't already, maybe check out our Patreon.
It's a great way to support the show and it gives us the ability to actually dedicate
time to this ever again.
You'll also get access to our Discord which honestly is turned into a nice
and funny place full of mostly normal people to hang out with. So that's
Patron.com slash Bunter Vista. Check it out. Yes, it's so true. That's so true.
You know, I was dusting flower off of my friend's suit pants.
And after a minute, I was like, damn, there's something rigid and cylindrical in there.
What are you hiding?
A lead pipe!
Ah!
With a lead pipe. She's mighty angry, ready to start a fight.
With a lid pipe.
She's sweet and red, she's swinging lead.
Gonna hit you in the hand, yeah.
With a lead pipe.
This is the segment in which we ask,
Hey, what do you awaken from a deep sleep
thinking about crushing into spithereens with a lead pipe?
Oh, what stops you from going to sleep at night?
Because you're so full of a white-hot rage that you would happily pay money to destroy this object, person, or concept with a lead pipe, you know?
And as is tradition when we have a guest such as Devon, we're going to ask, Devon, what
would you murder with a lead pipe?
This is such an honor to be asked this because if
you follow me for any length of time on the good website twitter.com you will
see that I have a great deal of hate in my heart for machines, robots of any
of any description. But for today's lead pipe list I thought I would draw from a
very personal source which is
children's TV characters from Britain.
Oh, oh. Anywhere between the 80s to the 2000s. So welcome to the you will have to
Google all of these zone. I'm ready my hands are prepared. I'd like to beat up Paddington with my face.
What? Why? No, he's everyone's friend. That's uncalled for.
Jesus, the Christ. Okay, let's just crack right on in here. Macapaca from in the night garden.
Oh yeah, fuck that guy. Yeah, fuck that guy. What the fuck you?
Fuck the entire night garden. I know, sorry, they're British. I need to be clear that these are all British, so they're all going to sound like this.
Oh, I've, I have seen more, I've seen more than my share of the nightgarden.
Now Ben, you might be just simply looking at an image of a character from the nightgarden and thinking,
that's correct. I fucking, thuuuuuuuu fu this this this this. I fucking hate this, right? But you really aren't prepared for the sensory onslaught that is the actual show.
Because there are a bunch of characters and they pretty much all speak some type of gibberish.
Macapaca, for example, his vocabulary solely exists of saying, Macapecker.
Is Maca pepper a man?
I'm sorry, I've assumed.
It sounds like the bit in the middle of husk
where they all go.
But also, there's all of these like interstitial bits with a group of birds singing a song and something about it is very out of
tune and it makes me want to kick a fucking hole in every door and wall in my
house. That's right. So I hate it, I hate it very much. What are the other characters
called? We've got upsy-dazy. You've got Eagle-Piggle that. Yeah, I tried to lend myself to one per show
and it needed to be Macbacca about Eagle Piggle
is on thin fucking eyes.
There's also, there's also the Pinky Punk and Ninky Nonk.
Yeah, which, the tombly bruddles.
It's disgust me so much. It's really it's fucked up. It's really fucked up I don't know. Um zippy from Rainbow. This is a puppet with a zip for a mouth which is
existentially terrifying. That sounds very um oh this is this is the the kids show version of David Cronenberg's character from the movie Nightbreed.
That is a camel-colored gimp mask. That is what it is. Like it is, yeah.
Jim from Rosie and Jim. Rosie's cool she can hang. Rosie and Jim was a show about two
rag dolls living on a houseboat in the Birmingham canals.
They come to life when they're left alone and that is fucked to me.
By Jim.
Look at pictures of them and I do not like it.
He looks like a pedophile.
We can't confirm that, but I strongly believe it to be true.
Believe it. The Talking Head Head statue from Art Attack.
Did we, our art attacks were different, right?
Did we get an Australian art attack?
No, it was a British guy.
I can't remember, it was too long ago.
No, I remember this talking head, he's like a...
This hurt, yeah, a Caesar statue statue. Yeah, he's like a... This hat, yeah, Neil Baccarans. Oh, no! Yeah.
He's like a little Roman bust.
He's awful.
Yeah, I find it deeply unpleasant.
No, thank you.
Yeah, it's huge like rubbery bust that were just talked to you.
Very intense eyes.
What's the... No, there's a different...
There's a different, Mr. Maker, that's who I'm thinking of. I fucking hate Mr. Maker, lead pipe, Mr. Maker.
He's no Neil from Art Attack.
That's fair.
Neil from Art Attack, of course.
The lead singer of Massive Attack.
But yes, all of the characters from Mr. Maker and Mr. Maker himself can get the
lead pipe, in my opinion.
Completely reasonable. Chazz from himself can get the lead pipe, in my opinion. Completely reasonable.
Uh, Chaz from Morph, uh, the little white play guy, he's a piece of shit.
He's always getting Morph into trouble and he could fuck right off.
I'm sick of him.
Who the fuck?
Oh.
Oh, I'm familiar with Morph.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's Theo.
That's so. It's so fucked. I would never say such a thing about theo.
Especially what he's not going to listen to this.
He won't.
Theo posted a picture in the chat today that was basically...
It's just like him.
Yeah, oh my goodness.
That is Theo.
Oh, you can't just say that, Lucy.
Oh, Chess from you. Say what you will about. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That is. That is. That. That is. That is. That. That is. That. That is. That is. That is. That. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that is. that is. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. That. That is. That. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. That is. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that is that is that is that is, that is that is that is, that is that is that is that is that is, that is that is that is that is that is. that can't just say that, Lucy. It's sort of like...
Chess from...
Say what you will about.
Say what you will about Gumby.
At least they've given him a sort of a shape that is unique and it's identifiable.
You can recognize Gumby from a silhouette.
This is just like the minimum effort you could do to make it a like humanoid-ish clay
figure.
This is awful.
That's true.
Well, because I, you know, like you said, Devin, I would need to search for these.
And I did, and it immediately came up with Chaz and Morph and they are identical in every way other than
the shade of brown that they are.
That's right.
Chaz is perfectly white and he is evil.
Chas, disgusting cracker.
That's right.
That's, I stopped myself short of saying that's right that's right.
I don't know if that's right.
Yeah, fucking, okay. So Chas is an awful honky and we'll just, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's right. that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right, that's right. I don't know. Yeah, fucking, okay. It's sure that that's right.
That's right.
Jazz is an awful honky and we'll just, yeah.
That's right.
Uh, just another one that I've just put in here for what I think the pipe feel would be good.
Uh, Burke from trapdoor.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. fun to... I think you might have actually come up before as the object of someone's eye,
or at least the various clay creatures from beneath the trap door have certainly been the
target of someone's pipe before. That would be a great pipe feel, I think. Open that trap door.
Yeah, I think the pipe would just thunk right into the clay, you know. Yeah,
Another clay guy, everyone knows this, love. Pingu's dad.
Sick as them.
Okay.
He's, he's absolutely disrespectful.
He's always yelling at Pingu.
I appreciate Pingu's always getting into hijinks, but.
You know, you know who Pingu's dad is?
Pingo's dad is, uh, is Clay Penguin Frank Costanza.
Yeah.
Screaming it is sad at every opportunity.
Embarrassing him, making his life harder.
I think Pingo kind of deserves it.
I think Pinker was a wayward child and this is simply Pingo's dad being like,
hey mate, can you cut that shit out?
I'm on Pinker's dad's today.
Okay.
Are you taking Umbridge with P Pinger's dad's parenting style?
Like, do you think you should be...
I'm taking Umbridge with Pinger's dad's parenting style.
Well, Lucy, Lucy, I would say to you that in the Costanza metaphor, neither child nor father is blameless.
They both kind of suck and scream at each other all the time.
That is true. Sorry, I've been watching a lot of Seinfeld lately.
I have to.
I went on Master Domain recently and I've just gotten hooked on the damn thing.
Yeah, except you go on, you're like, I'm here to talk about Seinfeld.
No, no, good show.
They say, what?
They say, what? Hmm, wonderful. Great show. Yeah, no good show.
Okay, Pingu can Pingu as well then, fine.
Just in terms of like having a fair hand on this.
Yeah, yeah.
An adult and a child to make sure you've fully rounded that out.
I will leave Pingu's mom both widowed and childliness.
With nothing but the barren wastes of Antarctica.
She has a younger son as well, right?
There's like a...
Oh, the infants, that's right.
Wee, maybe?
Yeah.
Zeberdie from the Magic Roundabout.
Now, this comes with a caveat.
The original series of the magic roundabout, a lot of them are very nice looking apart
from Zebdi. But the, the fucking, like, their their their their their their their their their their their their their thamamamamamamamamamamamamamamamam, but the fucking like animated show the film, all of their
designs are horrid, so from the film every single character from the magic
roundabout, but from the show to Giusebody. This appears to have the same
level of animation quality as something akin to Veggie Tales. It's Veggy Tales vibes, yeah. Hmm.
Upsetting.
Yeah, like if you look at Ermentrued from like,
the magic roundabout where she's like a puppet,
fantastic vibes.
Wonderful last, just a cow with a hat,
little smile on her face.
If you look at Hermitrude from the fucking, like film,
horrible.
So many teeth stood on two legs, unacceptable to me.
Technology should not have gone this far, that's what I don't think.
Any of the boobers? Now, I'm going to give you a spelling for that one.
Thank you, I appreciate that very much.
B-O-H. B-A-H.
These guys are, I'm swinging younger. These guys, these guys are, I'm swinging younger.
These guys, my little sister is watching these on TV.
They all look like a little penis coming out of an uncut.
Line them up.
They look like an uncut little, little chode.
They do, don't they?
What are these creatures supposed to be?
I cannot possibly tell you. Let me just check out
the Bubba Wiki. Yeah if you could that would be I did. They're always flying
about the place and I think it would be good to really just like cold shot as
they're coming towards you. Oh uh the Bubbas the central characters of
Bubba a group of atoms of energy.
Oh.
When they sleep in charging pods, I can see there.
Yeah.
Do you have a list of their names?
I do, in fact.
Oh, the Bubars are furry atoms of energy, power, and light,
according to Buba Fandem.
Upon waking up from a slumber inside their ladle-like
pods in the magical luminous boo-ball, the colorful energetic bubars come to life dancing and
flying away in the massive colourable boo-zone. They enjoy to do many sorts of physical
activity like jumping, bumping, shaking, spinning, falling, bouncing and flying,
and are powered by the laughter of children playing with them.
I don't care for that at all.
Yeah, it's a lot going on with that.
So Heath's Booba is a different color and has its own unique name, which are the only
ways to tell each one apart.
That's fucked up. Its front side is a bright shade of its base
color while its backside is a darker shade of the same color. That's true of my
Bubers. Humbah, Zumba, Zumba, Zing Zimbab, Jumbar and Jingbar. Now I'm not going to name names here, I'm not going to
to single anyone out.
I feel like someone in there getting a little too big for their britches.
Yep, manwise.
Yeah, it feels like he's really pushing.
Bit much.
How many syllables do you need, you big orange showboat?
Save some syllables for the rest of us.
Um, yes, any of the boobers easily take them out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out, the boo-bos easily take them out, no worries, Diddy Dick and Dom from Dick and Dom into bungalow.
I- Come on, come on. So what this was was comedy duo Dick and Dom,
putting their heads through a black cloth with a tiny body attached to it,
and doing physical comedy within the confines of a cupboard in the eponymous bungalow.
Dick, sorry, sorry, I'm just reading the legitimate, the legitimate title of the show.
Come on. Yes, go on. Sorry, is this different to Dick and Dom in Da Bungalow?
Yeah, Dick and Dom in Debunglo is the parent show, but there was a segment that featured
the characters Diddy Dick and Dom.
This is deeply unpleasant to look at.
This is sort of like if a punch in duty show was real life people from an open mic night.
Yes. I'm also slightly upset by the fact that Dick and Dom when I saw a picture of
these two I was already like you are too old to be on a kid show and then I
saw a picture of ditty. The fuck is 50. Like his these these creat yes so they live
within this cupboard and you just open up the cupboard and they do bits at you and I think it would be good to just open it up and absolutely go to town.
Just ramming that part of brass knuckles or something just like that.
They've got a real Hamish and Andy energy.
Yeah, they don't. They wouldn't be ready for it as well.
Because you'd open up the cupboard and they'd be ready to perform and then the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their they'd open up the cupboard and they'd be ready to perform and then, you know,
Yeah, they would start to go into their like song immediately.
Bill and Ben the flower pot, man.
Yeah, fuck him.
Yeah, fuck him.
They gotta go.
Get them out of here.
Nice and easy. Shatters.
The last two, these aren't unique. You won't have to Google either for these guys,
but obviously snarf from Thundercats can just absolutely go.
Snarf! Stop hitting me with that lead pie!
No, your bloodline is over, my friend.
You have been driven beneath my heel.
There is no future for you in this place.
Salting the earth that he's buried in. And finally, I'd say Mr. Blobby,
but I genuinely am concerned that I wouldn't be able to defeat Mr. Blobby in hand-to-hand
combat. Yeah, I think Mr. Bolley might actually absorb all kinetic energy in a way that would
make it impossible to injure Mr. Blobby. I think he is a vessel from hell. Do you think he's like,
do you think he's like Black Panther where he can absorb kinetic energy and directed
outwards Ben? Is that one of Black Panther's abilities? That is why I did not care for the movie.
Kind of sucks. Well they were just like, uh, check out this dude's suit. He is basically invincible.
Oh, okay.
Mr. Blobby is just so...
Such a cursed thing to say.
It makes it upsetting.
It's really cursed.
Like, people have to know.
Like, the people that design these things...
Is it because they don't have enough distance from their own creations that they're so absorbed in the work of it they can't have an objective look at
it and be like oh this is a this is a nightmare? Well the thing about Mr. Blobby
is that he wasn't actually a children's TV show character he was from
Noel Edmunds House Party where they had like a bit where they would trick celebrity guest into thinking that they were appearing on a kids TV show. Right. I only
doubt Mr. Blobby just sort of fuck with the environment in various ways.
Oh that makes more sense. I do like that clip of him just walking on stage and
crashing into things. That's a good time. It's good yeah.
It's good here where it looks like he's going to hit by a car,
which is quite satisfying to behold. It's a good bit for exactly like 30 to 40 seconds,
but it's been going for like 30 years. It's fucking floppy. Are there still people to trick?
No, no, they've had to change tack after the first series came out, but it's...
Yeah, it's kind of like the like the Borat sequel.
Yeah, now at this point he walks out on stage and everyone just points him and goes,
ask Mr. Blobby, hey!
And then like that's the humor value, and he pushes someone over or something.
In fairness, that is most of Western culture at this point. If you pointed a thing and say, hey, I remember you?
Oh yeah.
I remember you?
Imagine being Mr. Blobber.
You'd never pay for a pint in your life, you know?
My, uh, my neighbor.
Not because anyone's getting him for him, but he is just stealing them.
Oh yeah, and also no one was letting you into a pub.
Try to stop it.
You'd get murdered.
Um, I was, I was talking to my neighbor the other day and he said, oh, if you've seen the
new Spider-Man?
And I said, yes.
And he said, it was great, wasn't it? I said, sure. And I said, it does make me wonder though, like,
if you are not, say, my age,
will you appreciate when a 50-year-old Spider-Man from the year 2000 appears in the film?
Like I said, is that, do kids,
a kids enjoying that when they say, oh there's some other Spider-Man's and
they show you Toby McGuire and Andrew Garfield and he was like...
You imagine a single 10-year-old being like, oh my god, it's Toby McGuire from Pleasantville, you know?
But yeah, and then my neighbor goes, yeah, but who's buying the tickets, you know?
And I went, oh, God.
And that bum me out heaps. Yeah, now I have not seen a single Marvel film since end game because I'm sick of it.
I'm done of it. I will see Thor because
Tai Kortidi is doing another gay Thor movie and I'm like all right for fuck's
like fine got my money beautiful Kiwi. Yeah you'll be other I'm on that same
diet. I took myself into end game and I was like I gotta see this through and
this will be the last of these movies. It's been heaps since but I'm I'm gonna see that love and thunder the thun the thuuuuuuuuuuu. I thu. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu. I'm thu-a thu-I thu-I'm gonna thu-I's thu-I'm gonna the. I'm gonna gonna go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go go. I's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. I. I'm to to to see to to to to to to to to to to to to the. I the. I'm these movies. It's been heaps, it's been heaps since but I'm only going to see
that Love and Thunder and even if it's only half as good as Ragnarok was I'll be like, all
right. Well, I will very happily confirm for both of you. I have watched just out of some
terrible misplaced completism. I have watched these subsequent like post-end game movies and boy, oh boy
Does it really feel like?
That that was the end of that sequence of films, you know?
I saw I saw the I saw the Scalager Hanson Black Widow movie and I went, huh.
And then I saw the, uh, the, uh,
Shang Chi movie, and I went,
huh, you guys are just gonna keep doing these, I guess.
Oh yeah.
It's forever until I stop making money.
There's no like end date.
Yeah, that's gonna be a while, because there's a lot of things that they will not stop making, you know? Hmm.
It's cool.
Now, I wonder, Ben, yeah.
Since we've been on such a wonderful ride, do you think we can go a little further down
the road in an installation of the long-running...
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!
No!
In an installation of the long-running and beloved segment,
Car Watch!
Yes.
A rhetoric question.
Yeah, he sort of hit that before there was a chance for you to answer there.
Yeah, yeah.
That's a sort of ask forgiveness, not permission scenario.
There goes a car.
Yeah, I'm a fucking absolutely right.
Yeah, man.
Fucking, absolutely right.
You're a today.
You're a tod't argue with that.
This comes to us from the legendary publication,
Stuff.co.NZ.
That is one of New Zealand's premium news web fans.
That's one of New Zealand's publications, I would say.
It is if I had to... It's where they all get all they do some.
Oh, Lucy can you do a New Zealand accent? Can I do a New Zealand accent? Yeah. Do you want to read something?
No. There's no quotes in here. I was going to do one. Can anyone else do one?
Can anyone else do one?
Oh, I cannot.
I have no access I can do.
Damn.
Well, you know, when you want to know when the first season of Amazon's Lord of the Ring
series is coming out, you head straight to stuff.
stuff.coe.
NZ-Zeake-Ze. and Zed. No one has yet come forward to claim New Plymouth Airports abandoned Suzuki Swift,
but car dealers say the owner could well be a young woman.
Okay. Interesting. I'm listening. You got my attention. Airport staff are calling for the
registered owner of a 2018 blue Suzuki Swift license plate LMP 788 to come forward or risk it being towed from the spot it has called home since March 2020.
They have got fucking nothing to do over there.
This could belong to a lady, I don't know.
Ooh, like a lady car.
Nation gripped by dusty Suzuki Swift.
Oh my god, it's so cool that they are like
publishing a new story that is the equivalent of someone at the wedding saying,
uh, the owner of a 2018 Suzuki Swift.
Could you please come get your car?
Your lights are on.
New Plymouth Airport Chief Executive David Scott said they've had no responses so far,
but it's early days.
We're only two years into the search.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But how many women can they be?
We've done a bit of research, but it's all been a bit difficult.
Actually done a lot over the last year or so.
The owner's trail is gone dead.
I am so...
What the fuck?
What the bad?
To all of our beautiful listeners from Altairo in New Zealand, uh, I wish you...
Please don't hold this against us.
We're nice people.
Oh my God.
It was like a British person who moved to the Netherlands when they were like 18.
I think at times you nailed individual syllables.
Yeah, that's definitely moment.
I just sounded perfect to me.
Yeah. Hopefully the owner will see the story and come forward. When or if they do, Greg
Ozzy Davis of New Plymouth's wholesale district importers car yard said the typical owner
of a Suzuki Swift was a young woman.
I'm Googling Suzuki Swift. I need to know know this is a phonology on this car.
Are you not familiar with the Suzuki Swift?
I don't know how to drive a car.
So we just do...
You'll know the Suzuki Swift when you see it.
Beautiful car.
That's a car for chicks.
Well, I don't know what it, you know. No, this is a car for Dameses, James, James, James, James, James, James, thames, thames, thames, thames, thames, thames, thames, thames, thames, thames, thames, tham, tham, th Nah, this is a car for dames. You're absolutely right.
Classically, you know, most Suzuki Swift owners that I've known have been women. Mm-hmm.
It's a broad wagon.
What's the name of the little, the little Suzuki four-wheel drive, not the
Vita-The Vatara?
No.
I'm, that's gonna, a Sierra maybe? It's the Vatara? No. I'm...
A Sierra maybe?
It's the Vatara.
It's the Suzuki Vatara.
That sounds made up.
I don't think it is.
I think it was Sierra.
I'm just trying to remember because I used to live with a young woman who drive
a Suzuki, but it wasn't a Swift.
It was a little, the little, um, the little like soft top Sierras.
And in the apartment complex we lived in,
someone would get into the secure underground parking
and slash the plastic open with a Stanley knife,
like once a fortnight to get to the delicious burnt CDs inside.
It's like, it has buttons in a zip. You can just jump
in, you know? Anyway, generally a younger person. No, fuck, don't even try. Please. Can we just... Oh, yeah, go on, go on, go on. You started. Generally a younger person. No. Sengel. No. What? What? No. to say it? to it. to the to say it. to the to to the delicious. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. to to the. to the. the. to to the to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. to to to to to to to to. to to. No. Sangle. No. What?
What? Say it again? Not a family because they're not sit up very well for boot size.
They don't have a great boot he said.
All right. We're doing the flight of the Concord. So upsetting.
You can probably just slice the segment off the end of the episode if you want it.
Be a good hour. I don't want to get into he You can probably just slice the segment off the end of the episode if you want it.
I don't want to get into heady marketing technology, but I believe New Zealand is one of our
key markets and you're deeply upsetting the people of that beautiful country.
They'll enjoy it.
No, they're not even in our top 20. Yeah, no, mine is just America.
Britain is not even like number one. today. It's number three for us. Yeah, mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. to. to. Mine, mine. to. to. Mine, mine. Mine, mine. Mine, mine. Mine, mine. Mine, mine. Mine, mine. Mine. Mine, mine. Mine, mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine, mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine, mine. Mine. Mine, mine. Mine, mine. Mine, mine. Mine, mine. Mine, mine. Mine, mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine, mine is, mine is, mine, mine is just is just, mine is just, mine is just is just, mine, mine is just, mine is just, mine is just is just, mine is just, mine, mine, mine, Britain's maybe like number three for us. It's number three for us. Yeah, we're
US number one, Australia number two, UK number three.
And that's what's up. That's what's up. Davis said he had sold many of the cars and there were
thousands in the country. New Zealand is so cute.
Darryl McDonnell, owner of New Plymouth's amber and black quality cars,
claimed he had looked into the abandoned car and had found it had money owing to it.
Money owing on it, not to it.
The car is not collecting debts, is what I'm saying.
It was a shame no one had looked into it earlier, he said
because something bad could have happened to the owner. Like Davis, he said the cars were especially popular with women,
who were usually either young or elderly.
I hope that helps.
Yeah, women are generally an age.
Typically. Yeah, nine out of ten times a woman will be some years old.
She's never asked him it though. I'll tell you that for free.
No, no, don't do it.
They've got one, but do not try to ascertain it.
Do not try to divine that number.
Quote, but not just women, I'd drive one. Yeah, man.
This is nothing.
It's literally.
I saw the headline of this story when I was doing my usual news perusal.
And I was like, oh, so they've identified a specific young woman who might own this car.
And then literally the article is just two guys being like, yeah, chicks drive this car generally.
And that's a new story.
Yeah, my wife knows I drive a Suzuki Swift, but she's understanding about it, you know.
Incredible. That's so good, man.
In the two years the car has sat at New Plymouth Airport, it has clocked up $7,810 in parking fees.
I don't think it's worth getting that car back.
Yeah, no. In my opinion.
At someone else's car, no worries.
At some point you've got to cut your losses, you know.
How have they not towed away a car that has been in an airport for two years?
Right? It's wild.
They're just... Are there so few people in New Zealand that there's just lots of parking
going at the airport and they don't really mind?
Oh we could be collecting those parking fees.
The car appears to be in good physical shape from the outside.
They've said a reporter out there to press their nose up to the glass.
Yeah, it seems okay.
With little obvious evidence that it had been parked for more than two years.
However, it is unlikely it could be driven away as the battery would be dead,
really padding the word count on this story.
Yeah, no, this is incredible as like a display of just, I need words for this fucking story.
And even just to begin with, I need a story.
There's a car over there.
All right, beautiful.
Shicks drive this.
It would not be possible for it to have a current warrant of fitness.
I think we should just start assigning those to good looking people.
Oh, it's a thing they could give out in Britain.
Oh, I'm issuing you with a warrant of fitness, love.
Oh, cool, blimely, love.
You're under arrest.
Oh.
It would not be possible.
It would not be possible for it to have a current warrant of fitness,
and passenger cars are automatically
deregistered if they are unlicensed for 12 months.
Damn.
Well, an ambiguous end to that story that contained no information.
It could... Yeah.
The car could belong to a woman.
It's, some might even say it's likely.
These several men say that it's likely.
Oh boy.
Women be owning Suzuki Swift.
Now at this point we should note that uh...
In protest of the suggestion that it is mainly women that own Suzuki Swift's, Lucy has left the podcast.
She sure has, yeah. She is gone. That's it. So we'll be left to me and Ben to say goodbye and thank you to Devon.
It's been an absolute pleasure. Hold on, we haven't said it yet.
Oh, fuck. Hey, goodbye. Well, it sucked then.
Fuck you.
Fuck this podcast.
Thank you.
Thank you for being here.
Devin, where can the delicious people of the internet find you?
Oh, Jesus.
You can't find me at Devon, underscore on Earth on Twitter.
I'm got a podcast with Abigail Thorne from Philosophy Tube and Alice
Avazandum from Trash Future and well there's your problem called Kill James Bond
you can find that basically anywhere and I'm also on the trash future streams
GMT about nine until 11 on Mondays and Thursdays
I think that's it.
Yeah, that's it.
Oh shit, I also edit 10,000 posts with Sake,
Gosvani, which you can also find wherever podcasts are stored.
That's right.
Thank you.
I feel like I've been on all of those podcasts.
They're good podcasts.
Yeah, shut about the Matrix where they won't take it.
That's true.
That's the Matrix all about, you know?
It's about posting.
That's right.
If you ask us saying, he will say, everything is posting.
Ah, you ask you saying anything, you'll, yeah.
He'll segue into posting very smoothly.
Well, that's it for us.
Thank you very much for joining us.
And we see anybody next time.
Bye-bye. you know, the today.