Boonta Vista - EPISODE 251: A Certified Boonta Vista Oofa Doofa Moment

Episode Date: June 2, 2022

This week: A freshwater fishing hall of fame Hall of Name, even more Morb Report, a 100% mirthless Shipping Report, and a fraught emoji exchange in Paging Dr Lucy. *** Support our show and get exclusi...ve bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at mailbag@boontavista.com! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello and welcome to Buonto Vista episode 251. My name is Andrew from the Yazoo Herald and I'm here on the scene reporting live from Yazoo City, Mississippi at the launch of the inaugural event that the nation has been waiting for. It's honking across America. Yes, millions of citizens have gathered in this and many other states in the hope of honking loud enough to reach the ears of President Joe Biden and maybe even God herself. Now, I've checked out the event website and the Facebook page, and even though the event organizers have helpfully provided name tags for all 38 million participants, it's still not entirely clear why all of these brave citizens are out and forced today,
Starting point is 00:01:07 honking up an absolute storm. But asking the big questions is why I get paid $12,000 a year. Right here in our beautiful town is a man wearing a trucker cap and glasses, and honking like he was trying to expel his own gall bladder from his mouth. And his name is Ben. Ben, what righteous cause are you honking for today? We need to limit catching bagging limits on Bigfoot down to zero. Because frankly I don't think there's one on the books.
Starting point is 00:01:39 A single catch you mean? You shouldn't be able to get him at all, is what I'm saying. Like there's no rule in there that says... Don't catch Bigfoot. Right, that's right. And I'm thinking sort of implement this on federal lands, state lands, national parks, national monuments, private land, all of it, just coast to coast, even the non-contiguous states. I don't know if they're try updates on the Torah at the moment if they are. Check that one in. So we'll get to you in a second. Yeah, just sort of a blanket
Starting point is 00:02:11 band. Even the territories, you know, Puerto Rico, you can't get him there. Bermuda, is that the US? They got that one? Guam? I can see you've thought long and hard about this. Inside Guad Chattano Bay. Can't get him there either. Area 57? Yep. Well, area's one through whatever I'm up to right now. Yep. Hmm.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Very interesting and important stuff. Standing 15 centimeters away from Ben is a beautiful woman wearing classic checkerboard slip on vans and a homemade t-shirt with crude riding that states it's Morbin time. This young lady's name tag says Lucy. Lucy why have you chosen to keep on honking in the free world? I'm horny. Ah I'm horny. That's... That's simple but it's the truth. It's traditionally one of the top reasons to honk. It's right up there isn't it? Do you guys realize that the honky if your horny sticker is a pun? Because geese are very sexually active so it's the honking, honky's noise that geese make.
Starting point is 00:03:20 Oh, I thought it's because of the horn is the thing that you press. Huh? I'm gonna get a fact fact fact fact the fact fact fact fact fact the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact the fact the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the of of of of the the the of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of the of of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to. the top. top. top. top. top. top. top. top. top. top. top. top of top of to to to to that you press. Huh? I'm gonna get a fact I'm gonna get a fact checkers to look into that one. I'm only thinking about this for now for the first time. Can you get your fact checkers on to the fact that you said I wear Vans? I wear Converse Chuck Taylor. I thought Vance were shocks. Oh, bau. It's not called the converse. I. I. I. I fact fact fact fact fact fact fact fact fact fact fact fact fact fact fact fact fact. the fact fact. the fact. the fact fact. the fact fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact fact. the fact. the fact. the fact. the fact fact. the fact fact. the fact fact. the fact.? Unbelievable. Jesus Christ. He's deeply insulted Lucy's culture. Unbelievable. It's not called the Converse Chuck Taylor All Stars off the Wall Tour, pal. Idiot. He got me there. Finally, I cross to my colleague Chegg's Abanathy
Starting point is 00:04:01 in Monkeys' eyebrow Kentucky, who was holding a microphone in front of a man so sweaty that he's changing the local humidity level. Chegg says that this man is a father, a husband, a lover, and a gamer, and his name is Theo. Theo, what shit got you honkin like a goose? Well, first of all, I'm not on board with the honkin. Let me just say that. Now, I'm here because this is this this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is thu thu thu thu the. Now, I'm here because this is the only way you can raise awareness in the country for literally anything. And I'm today, I'm actually honking for anti-honking. No honking allowed.
Starting point is 00:04:37 And if you hear me honking, that's because I really want you to know, I hate honking. I hate honking. Hunks against honking. I hate... Honking against honking. Honks against honking. This man's hand has been forced at this time. That's right, look, sometimes the only way you can fight fire is with more fire. No. And I've just got the biggest horn I could find,
Starting point is 00:05:03 put in my earbuds and away I go, but do understand that I think that honking is immoral. I think it's rude. I think that you're possibly waking me up from a little nap I was deciding to have on the couch. Did you think about that, Mr. Honk-Kon-Kon? Or did you just want to say goodbye to your children as you back out of the driveway and everyone else in the neighborhood? I would stress that most of the participants,
Starting point is 00:05:31 most of the participants are just honking with their mouths. I want to make clear. Just yelling out the window. Ha ha ha ha. I would rather die than use the horn in my car. I would rather die in an accident that was avoidable if I, that I could have stopped by honking than honk. Whereas I love, I love a justified honk. One that's per the local statutes and allowances for honking. Well it's an emergency situation where alerting someone to a danger is of critical in that situation. Yeah, there's a guy driving down the wrong side of the road on that little on that little bit
Starting point is 00:06:14 that you zip up kangaroo point before you get to the story bridge. Oh yeah you know the one Lucy. And yeah someone was just driving down the wrong side of the road directly towards us. That's a honk. That's a honk- Yeah, that's a honking situation for sure. But, give my hawk. Yeah, if you're, you know, saying goodbye to your horrible little child, Crembus, yeah. And you decide to honk and you know, I kind of like start a bit and my headphones fall off. Ugh! Yeah. If you see your cousin, you honk to get his attention, so you know, hey, Dave, don't. Don't do that.
Starting point is 00:06:53 One, you've made me drop the pile of china that I was transporting from the dishwasher to the cupboard. And two, he might not be in a place to accept your honk. Have you asked? Are you ready to receive this honk? Hink? H this honk? H th? H to to to to to to th? H to to to to to to to to to honk? H to honk? H honk? H honk? H honk? H honk? H honk? H honk? H honk, you honk, honk, honk, you honk, you honk, honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, you honk, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the thoenk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk to to to to to to honk to honk to honk to honk to to to to to the honk, honk, not be in a place to accept your honk. No, have you asked? Have you asked? Are you ready to receive this honk? Yeah, put that honk in the cousins Facebook messenger, or possibly the cousins minus Dennis? And he'll get back to you when he's ready to receive your honk. Yeah, you just don't need to that. Keep that cousin shit where it belongs. What you don't understand is that to you it might be perfectly innocent and harmless to honk,
Starting point is 00:07:34 but I feel very guilty for being alive. And I'm going to assume that even, no matter what I'm doing, that honk is directed at me and I've somehow done something wrong. I'm in trouble. Hunking is also the sound of street harassment so it's got a double pleasantness you know? Yeah. When friends honk at you to say hello just don't. Just don't do that. Yelling out of your window at someone as a joke, you're just hearing the yelling from a car window. You're not really getting like the fun joke element of it. Yeah. Honk honk. Nice Chuck Taylor's baby. One guy once honked his horn at me when I was on the way to the Bang Nightclub with my friends and he yelled out, get a tan. I think about that one all the time.
Starting point is 00:08:20 It just seems needlessly specific. It's very specific. Very directed. Yeah, odd. They didn't even hear you yell back. I can't. This is it. I remember being in a car with some guys when we were about 20 and the guy driving the car slowed down as he was going past a petrol station, put his window down and yelled at a guy who was filling up his car, nice petrol, you fuck wit. Oh, that's perfect. That's pretty good actually.
Starting point is 00:08:53 Now that's a big slam. All these years later, it's a nice petrol. That's pretty good. That's the exception to the rule. If you have some of that's wrong for doing it it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, the the the the the the the the. Yeah, that's justified. That's the exception to the rule. If you have some of that wrong for doing it, you know? It's your honk pass. The guy just said, I'd be like, yeah, I mean, I guess. I guess it's here.
Starting point is 00:09:15 There's no comeback. You can't be like, I'm not filling my car up with petrol. I'm not Mr. Petrel right now. I'm actually to just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I'm to to th. I'm not Mr. Petrel right now. I'm actually here to drink it. Slop, slap, slap, slap. That's right, jokes on you. There's a hole in the bottom of my car, and it's all coming out. Oh boy, well, it's been great to, I guess,
Starting point is 00:09:33 cast the microphone around and figure out what some of the beautiful citizens of America are doing, honking their way across the country. And we should also put our eyes about the place and drink in some more of the beautiful names of this country, don't you think, Ben? We absolutely should, Andrew, that's right. It's time for the Great American Hall of Name. I really thought in that first sentence there when you said cast that you were going to make a sort of a fishing transition there because this, this installment of the Great American Hall of Name comes from the Freshwater Fishing Hall of
Starting point is 00:10:26 Fame based in beautiful Haywood, Wisconsin. I've been here before. I drove a very long way out of my way to go look at a really big fiberglass fish that they have there. And I went, well, was that nice? It's a big fish. Yeah, that fish is, it was cool. I was there at sunset actually. It was weirdly beautiful.
Starting point is 00:10:45 I got back in my van and I drove off. Here we go. I'm going to start... Hold on. Just quickly, on the fiberglass fish front. Yeah, the big musky. Yeah. Is it...
Starting point is 00:10:57 I know that this is a really stupid question. It is a fish constructed entirely of fiberglass, yeah? Like it's not, it's not, that's not a form of taxidermy is what I'm asking? No, because this, this big fish is 143 feet long. Um, bigger than your average fish is what I said. Yeah, the big musky is 44 meters in length. No part of it was once originally an actual fish. That is an enormous fish though. It's a very big, big fish. That's like two cricket pitches.
Starting point is 00:11:30 Yeah, I guess that's true. Yeah. That's about the length of a blue whale, I think. No, bigger. Oh, I'm looking at the big musky right now. It's like they're trying to, they're trying trying trying trying trying to jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj-trying their trying the trying trying to jjo----------------------------------a--a--a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying trying.. trying-s. trying-s. trying-s. trying-s. trying-s. trying-s. trying-s. trying-s. trying-s. trying-s. trying-s. trying-s. trying-s. to- big, the big fiberglass fish. Yeah. Who do you think you are? Although, I'll say this, you know, we've got, we've got the big prawn, we've got the big pineapple, we got the big banana. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:52 Try them in with any other ones we've got, folks. We have so many. The dog on a tucker box. That's very small. Not even. regular dog size. That's the size of an actual dog. How long did you say it was 44 meters? Yeah, that's two blue whales in length. Wow. I mean I'm looking at it here on Wikipedia it says 148 meters. Well 46 meters wide, 68 meters tall. Propulsion is by two hydraulically driven walker feet. Gross power is 18.04 megawatts of electricity supplied via trailing cable. Speed is 0.1 miles per hour or 0.16 kilometers per hour. Big Musky was a coal mining, Bucharest,
Starting point is 00:12:39 right. Sorry. Yeah, you're looking at the dragline excavator of the same name. Yes. Now that is the first thing that comes up when you Google Big Muskie for some reason. I've clicked on the first thing here. I'm looking at the actual big musky statue at the National Freshwater Fishing Hall of Fame in Howard. Right, sorry, I do need to clarify. Big Musky. I do need to clarify big the dragline excavator. So Big Musky is the name of the dragline excavator. The big musky that's at the Freshwater Fishing Hall of the name, I don't think has a name, it is just a big musky. Right. And... I hope that helps. I want to say, I think that they've kind of innovated on the very large fiberglass representation of a flora or fauna. In this one, it appears that you can climb up through the fish's pussy and walk right up, and there's like a balcony in its mouth. Yeah, it was closed when I got there so I couldn't actually go inside.
Starting point is 00:13:35 It's where the controls are for... The big musky. No relation. That must have been very disappointed. Yeah, I still, I enjoyed looking at it. Also, its claim to fame the fame is is is is is the fame the fame to fame to fame the fame to fame to fame to fame the fame to fame the fame to fame the fame the fame the fame their to fame to fame their their to fame their to fame their to fame to fame is their to fame is to fame is the looking at it and that's what's up thing. Also, its claim to fame is that it is the world's largest musky, which like, you know that level of specificity means that there's just like other bigger fish out there. There always is.
Starting point is 00:13:58 And here we go. This is a list of names taken from the Freshwater Fishing Hall of Fame. Starting off nice and easy here. Charles Waterman. Mm-hmm. Perfect. Yeah. Bernard Fisher. Come on. Right place, right time. Right name. Jerry Pabst. Yes. Yep. Gil ham. Gilham. Homer Circle. This name could be pronounced two ways.
Starting point is 00:14:35 You could either say Nick Cream or the way that it's spelled. This could be Nick Kram. I'm going with Nick Krem. Nick Krem. Nick Krem. Nick Crem. Nick Crem. Uh, Donald Keester. That means butt. He does mean butt. Clive Gamin.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Mort Bank. Elmo F. Corn. Elmow F. Corn. That is corn with a K. With a K. Corn. That is Corn with a K? With a K? Yeah. Elmo that's fun. That's so much cooler.
Starting point is 00:15:10 That's so good. I wish my last name was Corn. It's not too late. With the backwards K. Is it in Unicode? The backwards K? I believe it is actually. Uh, Theoditus garlic. I think that's Theo's full name, right?
Starting point is 00:15:28 Yeah. Well, say it again? Theoditus? Theodotist? That's right. Oh, that's so good. Yes, the leader of the, it's the movie 300. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:42 Paul Quail. Yeah. For Forest wood. That's a good name. Dick lap. Now we're talking. I've got a bad case of to clap. Sugar Ferris. As far as I understand, sugar is not Ferris.
Starting point is 00:16:05 It's a little chemistry joke. There for you, Thea. Malcolm Wallop. Dwayne, Raver. God, that's perfect. Dic-dea-dea-dea-de. What's your name? You're not going to believe this. By the way, do you like fly fishing?
Starting point is 00:16:30 They call me Dwayne Raver. Sterling Moulton? Milt Deakman. Milt Deakman. American guys be named Milt. They sure do be. They do. I don't think I've ever met a Milt in my life. I hope to.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Will Dilg? Sorry? Will? W-I-L-L-Dilg? For free or for pay? I guess the dad I'd like to grandfather. That's right, Dad I would like to grandfather? Yeah, that's right. Dad I'd like to grandfather. That's right, dad I would like to grandfather. Yeah. Clem Dipple. Ken Eck. Ken Eck.
Starting point is 00:17:20 Perry Good. Come on. Babe Winkleman. This one is a toofer. This is a married couple. Bob and Fanny Cutts. I'm so stuck on Perry Good. Surely you must realize at the time of naming that you have named your child an entire sentence. Sure have. Well they called him Percival so this was a surprise. Irv Snell. Bob Propsed. Okay. P. Raymond Blank. I forgot to fill it the entire form there I guess. Ubi Bloom. Abbey? Abbey? That's right. This is not the first Ubi to come up in this segment either.
Starting point is 00:18:16 Americans be having guys called Abbey. No idea what it's short for. No, no idea. No idea. No idea. No. No idea. Kurt Gowdy. Grits Gresham. That's a sick name. That's a good that's a good like cowboy name I reckon. Yeah. Chip Lear. He's a nasty guy. He's a nasty guy. No one likes Chip Leair. Buzz Ramsey. Shaw Grigsby. Bob Cobb. Several of these have been mighty Booshars names. Yeah, 100% yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:58 These are really our fisherman names. Larry Colombo. Yeah. And last, but certainly not least, William Shakespeare. The man loved to fish. And this is actually, it's not like they've done a weird Hall of Fame thing where they're like, well, really in a way Shakespeare was the original fisherman. This is just a guy called William Shakespeare. I guess if you're called Shakespeare, what are you going to call your son?
Starting point is 00:19:27 Like, Steve Shakespeare? That sounds fucking stupid. This is Ken Shakespeare. Shut the fuck up. Man, you sound ridiculous. Hey, while we're on American names, I've literally no other way to kind of shove this story in, but I, I have to tell it. So as we all know, very serious news, the other day, great American actor Rayleigh Otter passed away. Yeah, RIP.
Starting point is 00:19:58 I was enjoying a breakfast with my wife, Caitlin. I was enjoying a breakfast with my wife, Caitlin. And I said, oh, did you hear Rayleigh Otter passed away? And she paused for the longest time and said, was he one of those prediction animals? Excuse me? What? Huh? And I kind of, you know, did the thing where you meant to put your car in third and suddenly it's in fifth and you're going entirely the wrong
Starting point is 00:20:33 speed. And I said, pardon? Like an otter? Did she hear Ray the Otter? Sorry, you said Ray the honour died. No, Ray the the great American actor. Just like, no idea who that is. Have maybe heard of Ray the honour though? Oh my goodness. What a way to honor his legacy. Oh he was in some great movies. Speaking of great movies, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, there's a movie that's that's been on all of our minds lately. Oh I know what it is. Oh what is this that you have for us Ben? It's the movie that's set this podcast on fire.
Starting point is 00:21:26 Yep, it's the name on everyone's lips. It is. Dr. Michael Morghius Living Vampire. We're heading back in for the morbid report, because there is nothing I find funny than people writing about this movie. Now, a lot of people are sort of on to the fact that it sucks, and all of the usual sort of newsplaces are leaning into that. So I have cast a net slightly further afield.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Andrew, do you think you could do me a solid and read this review of the movie Morbius from Christian Answers. Absolutely. Is there a particular tone you would like me to read it in? Uh, reverential, but otherwise just go over what feels right. Okay. Pious. Placed on the Marvel comic book of the same name, tells the story of Dr. Michael Morbius,
Starting point is 00:22:23 played by Jared Lido, Dallas Bias Club, Suicide Squad, House of Gucci, and his journey to cure himself of an otherwise incurable blood disorder. It begins with him being in hospital at a very young age where he makes a friend with the same illness, Milo. It's when that friend's life is threatened that his ingenious mind is witnessed. He's then gifted a chance to share his intelligence with the entire world all the while trying to cure himself. Now grown up, he believes that he has found a cure to help him and his friend Milo, played by Matt Smith, Dr. Who. However, as the old adage goes, be careful what you wish for. Mmm. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:05 So true. Lido carries the film. It almost feels like a one-man show. The subsequent characters could have been cardboard cutouts. Yep. I'm sorry, but that is going to be the most oblique explanation of the plot to the movie Morbious possible. You think leaving out the fact to the movie Morbius possible. You think leaving out the fact that he's a living vampire was...
Starting point is 00:23:29 He's a living vampire part of the kind of relevant. Yeah, that's kind of like the first thing you have to know about Dr. Michael Morbius is that he's a medical doctor. It's on all the merchandise. It says the living vampire. Yeah, he's the living vampire and a medical doctor. It's an amazing the first. It's the the first. the the the the th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. the the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. Incredible. It was really a surprise to me in finding this review that this is like someone who's been like, you know what I really love It's great. See what he's been up to. It's fantastic not even the best Jared in that movie, but go off I guess. Wow, yeah, true. I am I have taken to lately using a common sense media. Or is it? Is that one of those ones where they tell you whether the shit in there is going to upset your kids? Yeah, but like I like it because it has reviews from parents and reviews from kids. And and on each of them the kids say it says you know this is what the movie is rated and this is what's in it and they them, the kids say, it says, you know, this is what the movie is rated
Starting point is 00:24:27 and this is what's in it and they give you like the nuts and bolts characters say this, this number of these swears, you know, all that kind of thing, this kind of violence. And adults review it and kids review it, and both the adults and the kids say what age of kid they think it is appropriate for. Okay. And it and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it's th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's th is th is th is th is what's is what's is what's is what's is thi's is thi's is thi, thi's is thi's is thi's is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi that their thi thi thi thiii thii thi thi thi thi ththe kids say what age of kid they think it is appropriate for. Oh, okay. And it's really interesting because sometimes the kids are like, no, this is like for kids who are sort of 14, 15 years old, when the grown-ups are like, yeah, it's fine for 12-year-olds
Starting point is 00:24:59 or whatever. It's very interesting because like those things don't have any sort of common way of lining up. It's when when when when when when when the the the their their th. It's thi, it's thi, it's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and, thi, thi, thi, and, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and it's, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and, to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, to, to, thi. And, and, thi, and, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, thi, to, thi, to, thi, thi. And, thi. And, thi, thi. And the, those things don't have any sort of common way of lining up. It's not like all the kids say, kids should be allowed to watch whatever they want. And all the grown-ups go, you shouldn't watch anything. Yeah, well I should be able to watch whatever movies and also I should be able to have ice-cream, and bedtime should be midnight. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:25:21 However, the Christian version of Common Sense Media continues. The desire to see Morbius find a cure is driven by the truly well done acting of Lido. Well, yeah, and I tell you what, he wouldn't have been able to pull something like that off if he hadn't have been method acting in crutches for the entirety of the shoot. If you hadn't drinking blood, lived as a living vampire for several years before this movie. As soon as it got to the part of the movie where he was drinking blood out of bags, I was just immediately like, did he get them to put some real blood in a bag? He would, huh?
Starting point is 00:25:57 He probably would. That's why he's so fantastic. That's why he gives such a stellar performance, just walking around in his little hoodie, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm a Dr. Michael Morbius and then you can't understand the rest of the dialogue. He says that line there's so many times in the movie. I'm Dr. Michael Morbius, the living vampire by the way. I'll just say it straight up. That is not anyone's name. Dr. Michael Morbious. Everybody in that movie saying it like it's a real name. Oh Dr. Morbius. I. I. I. I. I. I is is is is. I that. I that. I that. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. That. That. That. That. That. That's. I. That's. I. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. I movie is saying it like it's a real name. Oh, Dr. Morbius? Like, the no person in there is like, you work with a man whose name is Dr. Michael Morbius?
Starting point is 00:26:33 Dr. Who? The plot is simple enough. Not too complicated, easy to understand and follow. However, if you are not familiar with the source material, you might not comprehend some references and end credit scenes. The attempted love story is awkwardly paced and chemistry feels a bit forced. The CGI effects and cinematography are lacking and come off cheap, rushed and poorly done, which is a shame considering Lido's performance. I just don't know about this. This is an insane thing to write. It's really going to hurt his Oscar chances, you know?
Starting point is 00:27:09 They, um, what was the thing they did with the Oscars this year where they were like, we're going to have a fan favorite category. Oh, really? And that's just going to be like the meme category from now on? Yeah. Because lots of lots of Psycho Zach Snyder fans were trying to sway it for Justice League and stuff like that. Terrible. And Jared Lido is just going to win that every year. Yeah. Yeah. For Morbius. Well he's already won an Oscar. So, now we get into any issues that the good Christians among us might find. I see.
Starting point is 00:27:53 Objectionable content. There are intense sequences of violence and some frightening images. The desire to consume human blood is a given in this story. You haven't said anything about a vampire yet. Yeah, this is the first time you're part of it. It's a given in this story about a scientist with a blood disorder. Like, that's all you've given us. And evolutionary dogma is a consistent sci-fi premise.
Starting point is 00:28:20 What hung up on that evolution thing? What do they talk about evolutionary dogma in Morbius? I think they... I believe they're referring to a belief in evolution. A belief in science in general? A bit where he talks about how that species of bat is the only animal that evolved to drink the blood of other animals. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:28:41 I believe, is my recollection from having watched it one time and not really paying attention to it. And this guy said, what the fuck? Yeah, it's actually a lady that wrote this. Women can review movies for Christian websites as well, Lucy. Get with the times. You're right. I'm sorry. Women can write stuff down. There is some brief language, an F word, Get the fuck out of here.
Starting point is 00:29:05 A, my God! Some S words, A-S, damn and hell. Overall, the foul language was lighter than I expected, and overall not very noticeable. Blood is shown in medical blood packs from which it is consumed. There is violence, but due to lackluster CGI, it comes off cartoonish. It does.
Starting point is 00:29:29 The bit where he's like kind of, I guess, struggling to hold on to his vampire-ness, and he's like yelling at the girl, and he's like, get out of here, and then his face goes, goes a little bit vampire. He morbs out a tiny bit, yeah. And he's like yelling at the girl, and he's like, get out of here, and then his face goes a little bit vampire. He morbs out a tiny bit, yeah. When he's, yeah, when he's just morbing a bit, boy does that not look good. It looks like shit. It looks so bad. Hmm, the entire movie looks dreadful. Also, I don't, like, I understand that the opening part of this movie is, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the that the opening part of this movie is set in Greece for some
Starting point is 00:30:07 reason. I don't know enough about the Morbius Law to understand this. I think they're gonna, they're trying to establish a sort of darken. Oh sorry, not that part, the part where he's at the school is in Greece. Oh, yeah, why are they in like a, like a disease center in Greece? I don't know, but it is very funny, it's just like a kid going outside and then being bullied by a bunch of Greek children is. I don't know. It seems like there might have been a message there. And I don't know. Morbius, racist against the Greeks.
Starting point is 00:30:37 They might have invented democracy, but, you know. At what cost? In our rush to mine, mine the movie. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to. the to. to. to. to be, to be, to be, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. theybuea.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. toea. toeck. the the the the the theto mine the movie Morbius for every scrap of content. I can't believe we haven't touched on the fact yet. Okay, so they got two writers for this movie. First writer, Matt Sazama. No big deal. Second writer, Burke Sharple. Oh goodness. And I checked and that's not racist. Oh good, thank you.
Starting point is 00:31:10 The film doesn't address God directly, but it brought to mind the fact that we are living in a fallen world where disease and death are rampant, and living vampires. Yeah. It's got vampires in it. I'm not sure this is a Christian movie. Biblically, we understand that God created a perfect world.
Starting point is 00:31:32 And fallen nature, disease, sickness and death, are all the result of sin. We also know that our hope is in Jesus and his promise to deliver us from sin and death through him. In contrast, Dr. Michael Morby's thethe living vampire's ultimate goal is to save himself. Which I don't actually think he's an accurate assessment of Dr. Michael Morbius's motives. He's trying to save a child. He's trying to save children everywhere. He is. It's the Doctor Who guy. He's the real piece of shit in this movie. He was also ready to take to to to to to to to the the to the to the to the to to th. He's th. He's th. He's. He's th. He's, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to be. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. M. M. M. M. M. M' the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's, th. He's, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I, thi. I's, thi. I's, thi. tei. tei. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the real piece of shit in this movie. He was also ready to take himself out because of what the thing turned him into, because it turned him into a monster.
Starting point is 00:32:10 He was, he was going to kill the Morbius inside of him. Yeah, which is all of him. Did you even watch Morbius? It sounds like this lady barely watched Morbius from 202. I'd just the the the th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiol-soo thi th. thi thiol-sooom. thoing thoomoom-sooombs. thoombing tho-soo-soo-soe. thiol-soe. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th-son th-son th-son th-son th-son thi-son't thi-son't thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s. thi-s-s. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerer-sooooooooooooooooooooooooomsoe-a-to. Not even really paying attention. Like honey, are you are you going to watch the movie or should we just? Yeah, no, I'm watching. Are you going to watch the movie or should we just? Yeah, no, I'm watching. Because we can just switch it off. to watch it. Who's that? Who's that? Look. He was introduced like the volume too. told. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. the. to. the. to. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the., and I can hear the Tick Tocks because you've got the volume turn up. Now, unfortunately, I think we need to address another issue, which is that the presence of Matt Smith in this movie, has done nothing to dispel the rage inside of me that is ever present as a result
Starting point is 00:33:01 of Britain trying to insist that their men are good-looking. Oh yeah. You're putting Benedict Cumberbatch in movies, you're putting Matt Smith in movies, you're putting Eddie Redmayne in movies, and you're saying, hey! This is a hot guy. Have you ever seen a guy this hot? This guy's not a geography teacher. He's actually a movie star.
Starting point is 00:33:23 Wrong. Yeah. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. You's th. You're tho. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's t. t. too. too. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You're th a movie star. Wrong. Yeah, yeah. It's a Tom Hiddleston. You're still put Tom Hiddleston and stuff and people are getting horny about it, you know? I mean, he was pretty good in Skyl Island. But was he, was he sexy though? A little bit. There was that bit where he's got a katana and he's wearing a gas mask and he's in a big cloud of green smoke and he's doing cool moves. That's pretty cool. But I mean Matt Smith, they do have Jared Harris who could get it.
Starting point is 00:33:49 He do have Jared Harris is getting it. This I know for certain. He is getting it for sure. Lucy are you a Charlie Hunnam head? Not anymore. I'm a reformed Charlie Hunnam head. Not after that King Arthur movie that you went and saw for some reason. Yeah, that's where it all went downhill. Oh yeah. I love it. I'll tell you who got a who got real fucking hot in my opinion. Aaron Taylor Johnson.
Starting point is 00:34:18 Who's that? The dude from kick ass. Oh sure. Yeah, that guy, that guy, adulted out like a boss. I don't know. Didn't enjoy that sentence. Yeah, you got all yoked. He got all yoked with his old wife, you know. Not specifically, but oh shit, she is old. She is 55. Oh.
Starting point is 00:34:49 Oh, yeah. You can't put a number on that sort of thing, you know? I mean, you can. Yeah, well there are, there's like a few very hard numbers that we must as a society respect for sure, yeah. She looks significantly older than him. Good for you, sweetie. I wonder if they had like, uh, I wonder if they had like a, I wonder if they had like a McCrown style beginning to their relationship, you know?
Starting point is 00:35:12 What do you mean by that? That Emmanuel McCron is married to his former school teacher. Oh, that he's married to a pedophile. No, no, a French woman is. Sorry. But we repeat ourselves. Things are different over there, you know? Okay, so Aaron Johnson began a relationship with director Sam Taylor Wood
Starting point is 00:35:34 after meeting on the 2009 set of the film Nowhere Boy when he was 18 and she was 42. Mmm, yeah, no, that's... That is a certified Buntavista Uffa Duffa moment. The idea of having sex with an 18-year-old boy is upsetting to me. Well, that's good. I am 31. Yeah, yeah, that is a gulf. That is a vast gulf of time. It's pretty big, isn't it? Jesus Christ. I, um, do this is for you, Theo. It's getting an official, did you say, an official Buntavista ump-dumpa moment? No, it's a certified Buntavista Uffa-duffa moment.
Starting point is 00:36:23 Ah. Oh! moment. No, it's a certified Budapista Uffa Dufa moment. Ah. Uphadda-da-da. Thank you very much. Thanks. Hi everybody, it's me. It's Theo. Now I guarantee you I'm more afraid of recording this promo than you are of listening to it, so hear me out.
Starting point is 00:36:38 If you haven't already, maybe check out our Patrion. It's a great way to support the show and it's to to to dedicate time to this thing. You'll get all of our bonus episodes, it's over 300 extra episodes in total, and we'll set up a feed over there with none of these promos so you won't have to hear this ever again. You'll also get access to our Discord, which honestly is turned into a nice and funny place full of mostly normal people to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thia thia thia thia thia thus. thus. thus. thus. thus. thus.. So that's Patreon.com slash Bunter Vista. Check it out. That is a vast gulf of time between those two Hollywood professionals. There's another vast gulf out there,
Starting point is 00:37:17 the vast gulf of the ocean. Crisscrossed as she is by commercial shipping vessels. It's time for the shipping report. I'm itching for another edition of the shipping report. This is our joke-free segment where we, joke-free, death-free segment where we cover a maritime instance of note in international shipping news from the last 7 to 14-ish days. Can I just note Ben before you get into it that pretty recently we were we were taken the task by a listener who I can't remember where I saw the comment or the email or whatever yeah by a
Starting point is 00:37:57 listener who was really offended by how much we had let the no jokes standard slip. Yeah. you know like actually upset? No, I think they were doing they were doing it in a fun way where it's impossible to tell if They're actually mad or having fun. Yeah, so you know, we just want to say we respect you and we respect the institution of the shipping report. Yes, we will respect the rules that we have created. Here we go. The bulk carrier Penguin Island caught fire in the North Atlantic some 600 nautical miles west of the Azores. And you know, boat on fire, no laughing not funny. Not at all funny. Yeah. I think a boat named Penguin Island, a little
Starting point is 00:38:47 bit funny, but that's not enough. That's just an observation. We can't be held countable for that. No, we're not even, we don't have a single hand in the naming process of any of these ships. The self-discharging bulk carrier American Courage ran aground off the West Breakwater in Fairport Harbor, Ohio. What do you think that they had to specify that they were self-discharging? Well, it's a very specific type of vessel. They have their own crane on there to discharge their own cargo, which is neat. Oh, I see.
Starting point is 00:39:21 Okay. I was a little confused because I used the same equipment when I'm self-discharging or Being discharged by others. This is a joke about you Are you normally self-discharging or are you often I mean, are we talking about median? Is that what we're talking about the mean? Because Well, the mean is I've got 1.2 people involved. All right. And I love that you're willing to work blue about yourself. That's great. It just seems like you're inviting a conversation about it, which would be the worst thing that could ever happen to you.
Starting point is 00:39:58 The bulk carrier La Richaulde was disabled off the western coast of North Island, New Zealand while en route from Newcastle to New Plymouth. Yeah, unfortunate. The water supply tanker, Lotus struck the birthed general cargo ship Vyacchuslav Anissimov in Ulysses Bay in Vlad of Ossetoport. I wonder if they've checked what they're floating in. Hmm. Yep. The captain of the bulk carrier interlink veracity was arrested by the Australian federal
Starting point is 00:40:38 police off Port Headland, Western Australia, after allegedly throwing 320 kilos of cocaine overboard to be collected by two men in another boat. Just two men. That's can they lift it? Yeah I mean I didn't really question that I suppose it's in the water and if you had two of you rubbed it wouldn't be too hard. It wasn't one giant 320 kilo bundle it was in smaller bundles. Oh. Yeah. What was that? Can we get that name again?
Starting point is 00:41:08 Interlink veracity. Wonderful. That is a, I named a boat while high on cocaine name. I think it's actually one of the things that Officer Kay says during his baseline test in the movie Blade Runner 2049. Really? Well, no. He says the word interlinked that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi thi thi thi that's thi thii thii thi. thi. thi. thi. thi test in the movie Blade Runner 2049. Really? Well no, he says the word interlinked a few times though and I thought that was close enough for a joke. The, ah, oh, no, sorry I've just realized my mistake there I didn't mean to make a joke and I'd like to apologize. The offshore support
Starting point is 00:41:38 vessel Crest Tarasco was bordered by five men armed with rifles while off the Tabasco coast in the Gulf of th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. toe, Lucy toe, Lucy toe, Lucy, Lucy, Lucy, toe, Lucy, toe, toe, th. toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, Lucy, the toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, the the the the the the the, the, the, the, toe, toe, toe, to, to, to, to, to, to, toe, toe, toe, toe, the toe, the the the th. the the the the, the the the, the, the the, the, the, the.auuu.au.au.au.au.a'lia'lia'liol while off the Tabasco coast in the Gulf of Mexico. It's a real place, Lucy. It's not funny. It's not a joke. Mexico was real. I'm not making a joke. I'm not making a joke.
Starting point is 00:41:55 Okay. You just seem to be laughing because it's called the Tabasco Coast. Next you're going to tell me to's a place called Wistershire. Ah, yeah, it'd be pretty crazy. Uh, shocked to discover that my beloved Baja Blast is named after a place. What, Mexico? No injuries were reported, but the pirates did take off with 35 autonomous breathing devices as well as communications equipment. Oh, that's bad. The cruise ship Carnival Freedom suffered a funnel fire while being birthed at Grand Turk Island.
Starting point is 00:42:39 The Iranian Revolutionary Guard boarded and seized the Greek Suez Max crude oil tankers Delta Poseidon and Prudent Warrior in the Persian Gulf for alleged maritime regulations violations. We are on some great names this week. These are nice. I feel like this is, you know, we kind of hit our stride. I mean, we got the best names in the first time we did this. I don't think we've ever topped Ionic hawk. No, how, th. And, th, th. And, th, th, th, th. And, th, th, th. And, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. And, th, th. thi. tho, thu. thui. thui, thu. thi, thui, thui, thui, thui, thui, thui, thui, thui, thui, thui, thui, thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thi. thi. thi, the, the, the the the the the thi. And, the the the thi. thi. And, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thrui. thrui. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And, th best names in the first time we did this. I don't think we've ever topped Ionic Hawk. No, and how could you? But Prudent Warrior?
Starting point is 00:43:09 That's phenomenal. What was it incredible? Was there like Delta Poseidon? Delta Poseidon. Delta Poseidon, that's a great ship name. The product tanker Chem hydra, ran the ground and was subsequently refloated in a canal lock in Montreal. Phenominal. And lastly, 18 shipping containers were swept off the container barge Namthong 27 in the Andaman Sea. They're with God now.
Starting point is 00:43:36 They are going to wash up on the beach somewhere and belong to the child that first opens the seal on the containers. That's how maritime law works, I think. I think so. Yep, we don't know an awful lot about the maritime shipping industry and there's no one we can ask about it. But we also don't know a whole lot about love, but there is someone we can ask about it. It's time for paging Dr. Lucy. Perfect. If you find that you are having a little relationship trouble, just to pick up your telephone and dial it on the double, you call one, eight hundred, three, seven, five one, five,155, now your page in dotting say. This is from our favorite subred, R slash, relationships over 35.
Starting point is 00:44:29 Would you be mad over your boyfriend, replying with fire emoges to a Facebook friend's story? Would you be mad over your boyfriend's story with fire emogies to a Facebook friend's story? Let me stop you right there. Yes. So my, female, 42, boyfriend, male, 38, replied twice to a girl's story with the fire emoges, twice within a week. We have a bad history with trust, and he says he doesn't know why he does stuff like that. I have a huge issue with it considering our history
Starting point is 00:45:08 of mistrust on his end. This is so good. The idea of not only looking at someone's Facebook story. Fucked up. But replying to it is super fuck? Is this what the over 35s are doing? Like I'm quite useful, so. You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th. Is this what the over 35s are doing? Like I'm quite youthful, so. You wouldn't know.
Starting point is 00:45:25 I wouldn't know. It's just like a funny as fuck problem to have in your 40s is to be like. You're too old for these. Like yeah, just be like, oh, Steve's fucking looking at a bikini pick again, and then move on with your life. Like, you don't need to be like, hey, thua. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, is, is, is, is that, is that, is that, is that, is that, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is thi, is the, is thi, is, is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the, is the, is the, is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. the, is, to be like hey, so is three fire emojis? Well six really because you did it twice didn't you Steve? So what's up with that? One I could handle. Maybe a bit of a personal question. Have any of us
Starting point is 00:45:55 ever been in a relationship with someone who has cheated on them? No. Not to my knowledge. Sort of. But I'm always one step ahead. I don't know. No. Not to my knowledge. Sort of. But I'm always one step ahead. I don't know. Because like, I don't know, I think the, it's a weird place to be in because like I'm this kind of age now, right? I'm relationships over 35. And one thing that me and my wife both say is that
Starting point is 00:46:27 like you do get a very different view of relationships in like your teens and your 20s and your 30s and everything, you know, like it's very easy when you're like 20 years old to have an extremely black and white morality about relationships and about like loyalty and all that kind of thing and and for people to be really insecure about somebody expressing like that anybody else in the world is good looking or attractive or anything like that I think this one's like not on the like this is like sending a message to someone telling them that they're hot. Is that how a Facebook story works?
Starting point is 00:47:07 Well that's never tried to reply to a Facebook story. I have no fucking idea. I'm no clue, never watched one. I've only just gotten on to Instagram now and I'm afraid to press any button when I'm watching stories. Yeah. Just in case it DMs my penis to them. The perfect time to start using Instagram, 2022. I've got nothing else on. It's too old for these problems. Yeah, and I think, I mean, weirdly enough, I would find it easier to give advice to someone
Starting point is 00:47:42 who was like, my boyfriend fucked someone else. Like he went out, he went out with some friends. We'd been fighting a lot lately, he got kind of loose and he came home and said, look, I've made a big mistake and I did this thing. I would find it way easier to talk to someone about that and to say, well, you know, you got to think it it, like, do you think it was like a spur of the moment thing? Do you think he's been wanting to do this through ages? Do you think he's done it before? All that kind of stuff. What's going to happen if you break up? Are you married?
Starting point is 00:48:13 Do you have to get a divorce? Will you have boyfriend won't stop horny replying to other women on social media. That's so, like for some, it's just embarrassing for him. It's so embarrassing. Like, just go look at porn. Yeah, it's like what the fuck's wrong with you. It's almost, yeah, it's really weird that in my mind, it's almost like more, yeah, it's more concerning this behavior than like somebody just going out with people in a real social interaction and
Starting point is 00:48:56 and doing something like that, you know? It's somehow hornier than looking at porn. Yeah, absolutely. I assume because like, you know, like all the old stop sending unsolicited dick picks kind of discourse where it's like, it's not because this person just desperately needs someone to look at their penis. It's because it's a real person that they're interacting with. Yeah. Or it's not because... Yeah, whereas those in porn... They're not real. Yeah, that's the issue. Yeah, whereas those in porn, they're not real. Yeah, right. Of course. Kind of, kind of composites, if you will. No, you know what I'm saying though, which is, yeah, this, this, this kind of like having a, not, not a real person,
Starting point is 00:49:44 having a one-to-one interaction with someone that you know is seeing the thing that you're seeing the this this kind of like having a not not a real person having a one-to-one interaction with someone that you know is seeing the thing that you're sending to them. Yeah. Yeah. Because watching porn on a website where someone has, you know, uploaded videos from a payside and you watch them without paying like a normal person. That's a one-way street. You are watching some other people have sex, you jacking off, and then you close your laptop and you go on with your life.
Starting point is 00:50:11 Oh, sorry, one step you miss there where you go into the comments and you reply, very hot. I'm horny from Brisbane. I love reading the comments. We should read some porn hub comments next week. That's a good idea. That's a great idea. Sensational. Yes. Um, but yeah, this, this is like, no, I need to tell that. I looked at this girl and I thought, ooh, yeah. It's a difference between liking a pick and sending fire emogees. Yep, I need, I also you're allowed to fucking look at the picture and not even like it. You don't have to like it.
Starting point is 00:50:45 Yeah, leave no trace. I think is the... Yeah, leave only footprints. Yeah. Leave only read receipts. Anyway, embarrassing to be that old and to be watching Facebook stories. It's embarrassing for both of them to have this problem. It's just so weird.
Starting point is 00:51:03 I feel like if you had like a nice healthy relationship you'd just be like, Steve, you horny dumb ass. Yeah. Like first of all, have sex with me, I'm right here. Second of all, just don't. You don't have to reply to it. Just look at it. It's embarrassing. You look at Samantha's holiday bikini snaps and just go, wow all we were. Internally in your head. Yeah, it's. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. the, the, the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the th. Steve. Steve. Steve. S, the th. S, the the the the the the the thi. S, the the the the thi. S, thi. S, thi. S, wow or we were? Internally. Yeah, quietly awoogering. Yeah, just do what we all do in Jack Hoff to it. You don't have to reply, damn cousin, you're looking great. Yeah, you really answer the Jennifer Connolly lately, hey, Andrew. Yeah, like, and also, you know, like you're saying, Ben, you could say to somebody, hey, I understand
Starting point is 00:51:49 that you're a human and that you look at porn and jack off and all that sort of stuff. But when you're doing this specifically, it makes me feel bad, it makes me uncomfortable, you know, it makes me uncomfortable to know that other people can see you kind of being publicly horny about other women and stuff like that. Super embarrassing. Can you just stop doing this particular thing? And I don't... And I don't...
Starting point is 00:52:13 And I don't know why. Like, he does not know why. And he does know why. He does know why. He does know why. He does know why. He's 70% rocked- it has to go somewhere, you know.
Starting point is 00:52:28 30% horn dog. I mean, because he wants Samantha to reply and be like, oh my God, Steve, you're so sexy. You should leave your wife and marry me. Oh wait, can other people see this? You know? You know, they could just become Polly. That's like another solution to open to them as well. That's right it's actually oppressive to be mad at him for this because he's probably too scared to tell you that he's Polly and you're
Starting point is 00:52:56 being polyphobic. Yeah evolutionarily you know like being poly actually kind of makes more sense like he should be able to like it makes more for society for him to be replying. So you you that that that that that that that that that that's like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like that's like that's like like that's like that's like th a that's like th a th a th. That's like tho-like tho-s like the tho- like the the the the the the other the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th of th of tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thooo. thooooooo. thooo. thoooo. thoo. to, like it makes more sense for society for him to be replying. So you haven't put any comment replies in the document bin, but I have no doubt that there would be some in there being like, well maybe you should consider being polly. I think actually the relationships over 35 is relatively conservative in their views. Oh, okay. Polynegative. Good.
Starting point is 00:53:26 Good. Replies, okay, he doesn't know why he did it? Unless he has some sort of clinically diagnosed blackout disorder, he knows why he did it. And we all know why he did it to get attention from her. I agree. Yep. Thank you. A little bit extra detail here. Oh, okay. Apparently, and this is me
Starting point is 00:53:47 quoting from the original poster here, apparently it's his old friend's ex-girlfriend. Missed opportunities there. Oh, water under the bridge. What, yeah, apparently not. Apparently he's horny for the water. He's trying to get under that bridge. He wants to be under it. Oh wait, okay, so I thought... Got a reply here from LF- the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi thi, th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th, and th, and th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is tho to to thooo to to the to to that to to that to to to that to to to that that that that that that that the water. He's trying to get under that bridge. He wants to be under it. Oh wait, okay, so I thought... I've got a reply here from LF86 that says, I don't think I'd ever be mad about a fire emochi, but whether or not it would bother me would depend on the context.
Starting point is 00:54:16 What's the content of the story and what's their relationship? I'd say you're probably focusing on a tiny symptom of a bigger problem. I just don't date people if I don't trust them. And OPE replies, they were her selfies, and he private messaged her about them twice in a week. Oh, okay, well. You're answering your own question. Like. I also thought there was a bit here. In the original twice but there's a clarification down here. Where is it? Whether he responded twice to the same story? Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:54:54 He private message to that twice on two different occasions. So this is two sets of two. This is four. Yeah. Oh, sweetie. Lucy, can I hit you with a series of this person's posts? Yes, please. Oh boy. Okay, so we've got, would you be mad over your boyfriend replying with fire emogies to a Facebook friend story seven days ago. Thirteen days ago. What if your boyfriend says he's attracted to transgender and says he is attracted to men bisexual
Starting point is 00:55:26 but has never experienced it? What would be your thoughts? Yeah. Oh, shit. All right, this is guys. Followed by, 13 days ago, sexual moaning in his sleep and stroking himself, question mark. My 42-year-old boyfriend,
Starting point is 00:55:46 oh, she's 42, he's 38. Yes, yeah. Plays with himself and moans like he's having sex in his sleep, even after we have sex. Is this a common thing? It makes me mad because I feel like he's fantasizing about someone else. With the reply, LMAO turn around and go back to sleep. Why do you think he's not dreaming about you from Jabber the Slut? That's cool because that one cuts both ways. Because he probably is and you're also...
Starting point is 00:56:18 You should be with someone else because you don't trust them. Wow, then we have 17 days ago. Being monogamous shouldn't be this hard when you're in love, right? Is monogamy that much of a struggle when you're in love? 42 year old female, I've been with my boyfriend, male 38, a year and a half. That's not long enough for all this shit. No. Brief background. We've had some struggles within the beginning.
Starting point is 00:56:43 He was seeing someone else the first couple of months that we were seeing each other. He begged and pleaded, so I gave it another chance. Okay, so the trust issues are, he was cheating on you for the first several months of your relationship. Yeah. Then I could see he was acting different and I saw a PM he sent a girl on social media complimenting her picture. So I ended it because there's no reasoned the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first thi. the first. their thi. thi. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. the first. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. He her picture. So I ended it because there's no reason to private message someone something like that. And if she messaged back, who knows? But with his track record, I wasn't dealing with it. Well, three weeks later I'm getting flowers. He's
Starting point is 00:57:15 showing up at my work hysterical. And needless to say, here we are again. I need to see a picture this guy. I bet he's the biggest fucking loser. Recently I saw two messages he started to send his exes but didn't finish or hit send, but obviously it's something on his mind. At this point it's a pattern. He says he has commitment slash monogamy issues, but he loves me and wants this more than anything and he's not going anywhere. I obviously don't believe it. I don't think relationships are for either of these people. I think you, yeah, neither of you. They need to go have some training.
Starting point is 00:57:52 Hey, do you guys want some more details on this horrendous relationship? Absolutely. All right, so 23 days ago, she posted in R slash relationship, how to handle this baby mama situation. My boyfriend who I live with still has his baby's mothers on his Amazon Prime. Sorry, so he has kids? He has children, that's right. That's so cool.
Starting point is 00:58:21 This is quite sad, actually, she's been posting to all of the relationship. Oh no, seven months ago. It gets worse and worse as it goes, six months ago, when will I feel better? I broke up with my boyfriend two and a half weeks ago and I'm going through it. There's no trust. He cheated on me and lied the whole time we were together and then after this she's gone back with him. Seven months ago, my boyfriend this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th then then then then then then then thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus. thoom. thus. thus. tho tho tho tho tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. to th. to th. tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thooooooooo him. Seven months ago, my boyfriend didn't care that I broke up with him. Long story short, he and I've been together almost a year. He cheated in the beginning with a girl he was seeing for me. We didn't know about each other.
Starting point is 00:58:54 He begged, cried, pleaded, to give him a shot. Saturday he was acting funny. So I saw he private messageaged a girl saying, wow, while I was... Yeah, that's really gonna... You can't act normal the entire day if you've just DMed a girl, wow. Like you've just seen a cool like scene in Iron Man or something. Oh my goodness. Um, so, so she says that she broke it off with him. I immediately went on to the dating site to see the messages to the girl that he was cheating with,
Starting point is 00:59:35 told the girl he couldn't stop thinking about her and only was with me to get over her with, obviously isn't true because he ended it with me for her, but he smoked so much weed. He probably doesn't remember. This guy is such a catch. Oh man, 11 months ago she asked the exact same question about her bisexual boyfriend. People's thoughts on this. A year ago she was asking about getting cheated on. Oh no. I just... This makes me sad. Like... Come on sweetie. Come on. Oh dear.
Starting point is 01:00:10 Oh, this post-sue just keeps going. I've got another post from her here, from this person. When your ghost comes back, are they considered a zombie? What? What do you mean? She's been thinking about something else? No, she hasn't.
Starting point is 01:00:29 She hasn't. She wasn't. She wasn't. So I've been dating a guy, 50 since the beginning of November. Oh, spicy. So I, 41 F, because she was, this was a year ago, so she was one younger. I've been dating a guy, 50, since the beginning of November. And then he ghosted her. So she wasn't talking about actual ghosts and zombies. She just did a fun creative headline for... Yes, because she's done one post in R dating over 40, didn't know that existed. Did I just get ghosted? One in R ghosting, did I just get ghosted? One in R dating advice,
Starting point is 01:01:02 did I just get ghosted? One dating advice, did I just get ghosted? Oh, oh. Sweet, you should get a PS5. Hmm. How depressing. Ah, she's also accusing her ex of having borderline personality disorder. Uh, yeah. I think you might also need a little break from online. Yeah. You need your in-person support networks to be like a little better
Starting point is 01:01:32 so that you're not asking Reddit. It's so that like one say podcast couldn't accidentally find out every single thing that's happened to your life by scrolling down through this page. And feel really bad for you and pity you and if you're listening you should dump him sweetie yeah oh no she's also got a series throw the whole man out do you heard that one did you write that did you write that did you invent that I think I invented that one yeah I think you did she she's also done a series of posts two years ago in R slash Contrave, called Contrave, which is
Starting point is 01:02:14 Contrave is a medication which is a combination of bupropion and Naltrexone. They're just making this up in America, huh? Sold under the brand name Contrave, a fixed-dose combination medication for the management of chronic obesity and adults in combination with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity. And there's Contrave posts like,
Starting point is 01:02:38 gaining weight? Why does it seem like I'm gaining weight? Followed by, constipation and nausea. Wow. Don't take your way by drugs everybody. Just post in your whole life on Twitter. Yeah. You should put it on a podcast instead. Yeah, I would never do that. Boy oh boy. And that's what's up. That was what was up. Absolutely.
Starting point is 01:03:09 That was what was previously known as what was up. Well, I'm not really sure how to wrap this one up, you know? You guys seen Top Gun Maverick? It's fucking terrible and super gay. Yeah, we're great. Those two things are not related. Good to positive, super gay. Negative. It's terrible.

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