Boonta Vista - EPISODE 262: The Michigan Thumb Coast Conch Honking Jubilee
Episode Date: August 25, 2022Lucy, Theo, and Ben bring you: A regional event on the Thumb Coast that has something for everyone, continuing strife with Kia and Hyundai, an accidental gun delivery, school policy regression, and th...e Shipping Report. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at mailbag@boontavista.com! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to Punta Vista, episode 262.
Here we are in a John Deer combine harvester.
We're off to efficiently harvest a variety of grain crops.
Right here in the driver's seat with me in a gorgeous green flannelet shirt with
a delicate long piece of wheat perched in his mouth.
It's Ben.
Ben, would you say you're most excited for the reaping, the threshing, the gathering or the
winnowing?
What did you, what did you look up before you wrote this?
No, that nose, on my head.
Yeah, okay, I love...
Mine harvester okay, I love...
Combine harvester effects.
I love winnowings so much.
Big winnowing head.
Winnowings where you separate the lighter material from the heavy material, right?
Yeah, e.
E. G. The wheat from the chaff.
Yeah, that's the fucking expert, why don't you tell us?
And we know that combine harvesters are one of the most economically important labor-saving
inventions, significantly reducing the fraction of the population engaged in agriculture.
And that's why we've had to make this a team operation here in the cockpit
of the combine harvester, creating a job for three unemployed podcasters.
Wedged here in the middle seat due to his compact size, he's clutching a notebook, and he's
here monitoring the yield.
It's our yield monitor, Theo.
Hey, how's it going?
Pretty good, pretty good.
So you know that a real-time measurement can help determine which areas of a field are
more or less productive. These variations can often be mediated with variable crop inputs.
And so yield is determined by measuring the amount of grain harvested in relation to the area covered.
Lucy, took the words right out of my mouth.
And I'm really taken to this working, working with my hands, clutching the notebook, etc.
It's quite tied in here, it's quite cozy.
It's quite cozy in here, but I am glad, I'm glad for any job
now that they are rehabilitating podcasters.
I'm in support of her. I think the labor government's a right to do it.
It was either that or the coalition was proposing that they just take us all out and shoot us in the head with a big gun.. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's, it's the the thi, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It. It's, the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the thi. the thi. the the the the thi. the the the thi. the the the thi. the the the the thi. the the thi. thi. thi. thi the coalition was proposing that they just take us all out
and shoot us in the head with a big gun.
Yeah, and honestly, this is marginally better than that.
This is nice.
We're getting, it's too conditioned for a while.
Yeah.
It is.
We're reaping.
We're producing food for people.
Yeah.
Do you ever, would you say that your favorite crop to harvest?, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to to tho. tho. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We, th. We, th........................................................................................................................ We are grinding. Do you ever, would you say that your favorite crop to harvest is wheat, rice, oats, rye,
barley, corn, soybeans, flax or linseed, or a sunflower?
You know what, Lucy?
I'm actually a big sorghum head.
Yeah, I didn't expect you to say that. Yeah, no, I know, it's not the mainstream crop. It's not really what's what's, what's, what's what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's, what's the the the the the the the the their their their the the the their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their, their their their their the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. their thea' their thea' their thea' thii. thi. their their? Yeah. I didn't expect you to say that. Yeah, no, I know
it's not, it's not the mainstream crop, it's not really what's what's good or popular.
You can work every day with someone in such close quarters and not anything about it. Yeah, look,
it's not a million dollar crop, right? It's not gonna, it's not gonna get you fancy house on the hill made out of diamonds or whatever, you know the diamonds you get on the wheat business
But it's just solid
It's just a good solid biomass
You know my favorite thing about sorghum is yeah, that's my favorite is that sorghum is a genus of about?
25 species of flowering plants in the grass family
Yeah, I can't pronounce that way some of these species are grown as cereals for human consumption and some in pastures for animals.
Yeah, we're always saying that.
Yeah, I'm always talking about how it's used as fodder plants either cultivated and warm
climates worldwide or naturalized in pasture lands.
We're always riffing about that.
Yeah, we're sick of hearing it.
Yeah, well, I listen to you talk about,
no, you're also talking about Sorghum.
We're all kind of listening to each other talk about Sorghum in here.
And you've got to pass the time somehow.
And that's what podcasting is all about.
You know, the only thing that could make this John Deer combine harvester even better,
was if it was manufactured by Kia. It's time for Kia Watch.
So this is an update on a story that we did last week
in the episode 261 Steeler Kia Serento Challenge 2022.
So we were talking about how there was a viral Tick-Tock trend
sweeping the nation where kids were stealing keys and Hyundai's. What? I want it
so I think you might have missed that one. Yeah so I think he might have missed that one.
Yeah. So and key. Okay.
Yeah, so there's a thing where Australian cars have had engine immobilizers in them for like
20 something years, maybe longer.
So you need the actual key to the car to steal the car easily, whereas for some reason a lot
of American cars don't.
And specifically, like the last, was was it 10 years of Kia's and Hyundai's in America it turns out all you need to do to steal them is to like Jimmy a part of
your steering column off with a screwdriver and then insert a USB port
USB cable into it and so yeah kids been going viral on Tick Tock showing people how you can
steal submodels of Kia and Hyundai so I thought I'd delve into a specific instance of that happening.
This is a story from WJBK News in Michigan.
Southfield dealership has car stolen another damaged following new Tick Tock trend.
So so far just in line with what we've seen earlier,
but there's really, there's two words in this opening sentence that I want to know of.
Just let me know if you react that like if anything sticks out about the sentence to you it anyway.
The quote, Kia Boys have struck again, but this time they went straight to the source.
Has damned Ki-boys again. With a Z. That's Kier- boys, the the the the the the their boys, their- boys, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi-a-a-a, thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-in, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi-to-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-wo-so-wo-woo-woooooo-wooooooooooooooooo-s. tho-s tho-s thothe source. Those damned Kieer boys again. With a Z.
That's Kiebys with a Zed, that is correct.
Glassman Kia in Southfield had one Kia stolen off their lot, another damaged a week after
speaking to Fox 2 about the rise of Kia thefts.
Quote, the Kia boys strike again.
So hang on.
Hang on, let me get this chronology straight. They talked to the
news about the viral trend of stealing Kears and they were I assume pointing
to all of the Kears in their open unlocked yard saying and I would certainly
hate if someone came and stole one of these cars which again we're on the news saying news saying, are easily stolen, as per the trend on Tick Tock currently.
That's right, yes.
And then you're telling me following that.
Yeah.
On the news, they had two Kia's stolen.
Yeah.
No, one stolen, one damaged.
Yeah.
Sorry, I'm going to start that quote from the start again just because I really like the
impacts that phrase has.
The Kia Boys strike again.
Took about a minute.
They broke the window and did what the Kia boys have been doing.
George Glassman, President of Glassman, Kia.
He's there in his office like, damn those Kaya boys!
But he respects him so fucking much. Is the, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the Kia boys. But he respects him, he respects him so fucking much.
Is there a Korean version of the Confederate flag?
Because that's what they're rocking.
On top of their stolen Kia Sorrento.
In Detroit alone, about 150 Kias and Hyundas are stolen in July.
East Point has had 15 stolen this month alone.
Clinton Township has had 17 since mid-July, and in Roseville, seven were stolen since June
1st and 18 more attempts.
Quote, these kids, they get in, they get in with their buddies, and they ride around
to them.
Police Lieutenant Clive Stewart.
Stop fucking talk. Why are they all talking like this?
Like a Cohen brother's character.
Glassman says he locked down all the new kios,
but the fieves still targeted the old ones.
They got away with a kioforte and damaged the steering column of a kia soul.
I just enjoy the fact that like up until this point they've never considered that cars could
just be stolen straight off the lot.
Yeah, it was so weird that they put this technology in cars for other markets like for Europe
and Australia and I think even was Canada on the list as well.
But they were just like, oh fuck it.
I'm sure nothing will happen to them in America. Quote, it's my understanding a number of other dealerships have been hit.
We are not immune just like a customer, said Glassman.
You should be slightly more immune.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
My first, if I was going to steal a car, my first instinct wouldn't be from a dealership.
Yeah, you'd be like, they probably got countermeasures of some kind. Yeah, like boulards or a a a a the ball, if a the ball, the ball, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to to to to th, th. We' th. We' tho, tho, tho, th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We' th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. We're th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thin, thin, to thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. We're the,'d be like, they probably got countermeasures of some kind. Yeah, like ballards or something that just stop the cars. A couple of bolards I
reckon. Just a few bolards would really fix this one right up. Yeah,
what's a bolard cost you? I don't know, you know how to concrete, you could probably
make your own bolards. Well, actually, so I saw like a cross-section of what actually goes into a bollard foundation. They th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, like th, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, just just just just just just just just just th, just just just just just just just just just just just just just, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin's thi's thin's a thin, thin, thi's a thin, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, goes into a Bollard foundation, and they're
not fucking around, because that thing's got to, that thing's got to stay steady.
It's got to stop in the...
Kia Forte.
That's...
You need one that could pop out of the ground.
What's a Kia Soul? What's a Kia Forte? What's a Kia say Kia Soto? I was making a little joke there because Kia Forte.
What did you mean like Kia Piano?
Pianomiso?
I'm like, shut the fuck up.
The Kia soul I don't think we have over here.
And the Kia forte I also don't think we have.
Did Americans write into you talking about the pronunciation of Hyundai? Uh, I hope not.
If they did, I'm going to start checking those things even less.
I said the forte is the Serrato in Australia.
Oh, it's a fine looking car.
The word Saratian, it's disappearing off the lots.
Hmm.
I have hot cakes.
They keep getting stolen.
Glassman says, if you have a kia, park it in the garage.
If not, yeah.
Okay, well that's confusing phrasing.
If you have a kia, if you have a kia,
do whatever you like.
Don't.
Don't.
I think you say, if you don't have a garage,
get yourself one of those old school clubs to go across the steering wheel to deter the thieves.
Oh, like across, I thought it just meant like get a club to go and hit some thieves.
Like an improvised bashing weapon of some kind.
Yeah.
I feel like we're not improvising as many weapons as we're used to. Wow, weapon has got so much better that you don't toto improvise. Yeah. Mellay weapons, not cool anymore.
They're not hot.
Yeah.
I'm going to get back to specking in Mellay.
I'm going to get the strength points up though, I think.
And gamers will love that one.
They will. Obviously we've been painting a pretty, not a great picture of Kear and Hyundai at this point. I I I I I I I I th th th th th th th th and th and th th and they they th and th and they're th and th at th at th at th at th at th at that that that that that that me that me that me technology technology. technology thatomeat. that. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. theat. theat. th. theat. th. they theat. theat. theate. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeahthis point. I think they're fine.
Well, they could put engine immobilizers in.
That would be my recommendation.
But I do, they've been in the news for other reasons,
which I thought I should maybe highlight.
This is a story from the Associated Press.
Park outside.
Fire risk prompts Hyundai Kiya hitch recall. recalls. They just told me to park it in the garage. Yeah really. It's the perfect crime.
I will say. Burned if you do, Hyundai-less if you don't. In fairness, I think these new ones do have
the engine mobilizers. So you can act accordingly whether you have the easy steel model or the
burn my house down model. To work out whether you park it inside or outside.
Outside, yeah.
I don't think we had a handy nemonic for that.
I can't think of one.
Hyundai and Kira are telling owners of their large SUVs to park them outdoors and
away from buildings after a series of fires involving trailer hitch wiring.
The cream automakers.
That's their advice.
Yeah, your car's got a set on fire.
What are you going to do?
Park it outside.
Just park somewhere else.
It seems like if you have to...
Where do you have to park?
A field.
A field.
Find some sorghum.
It seems like if you have the knowledge of the defect enough to say, whoop, you can't might catch a fire, you should be recalling that vehicle.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The Korean automakers are recalling more than 281,000 vehicles in the US because of the problem,
but they haven't figured out how to fix it yet.
The automakers reported 25 fire or melting incidents in the US and Canada caused by the problem,
but no crashes or injuries.
The recalls cover more than 250,000 Hyundai palisades and over 36,000 Kiatelrides
from the 2020 through 2022 model years. So actually I think some of those might be, because the cutoff was like 2021. So you might have the easy steel catch on fire bottle. So double check that one.
Now that's exciting. Yeah. What do you hate most having you cast all it or dying and fire? Oh my God,
this thing is enormous. No wonder it's doing numbers in in America. Is that one of those kid
killer SUVs? Yeah. I love those over there. You can't see a kid so you run them over? Yeah. How tall is the front of your car. It th. It th. It's. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. tttto. tto. to. to. to. to. to. tto. t. t. t. t. t over there. You can't see a kid so you run them over. Yeah.
How tall is the front of your car?
It's actually three meters taller than the cab of the car somehow.
We've put new technology in.
$85,000 people paying for a Hyundai.
It's fucked up.
The world's so fucked up.
In documents posted Tuesday by the US National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, the
company said debris and moisture can accumulate in a circuit board in the tow hitch wiring.
That can cause an electrical short, which can lead to a fire.
Hyundai said that dealers will inspect the wiring and remove a fuse as an interim repair.
The company says a final repair has been developed.
Now I'm a little bit of an electrical guy. That's true, yeah.
Now, my experience is that they put fuses in to stop things from setting on fire.
Now, they're saying that, take this one out.
I think they're taking the fuse out to stop there being a circuit there.
Oh, yeah, yeah, you're just going to take the, remove, the power, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to stop there being a circuit there. Oh, yeah, you're just going to take the, remove the power from the,
yes. From the whole thing, yeah, got it.
So you won't be able to use your toe hitch, I guess, because you won't be able to, your lights and stuff won't work.
But, um, your house won't burn down.
Yeah, so that's pretty good. Hmm. That seems smart. Yep, giant, 10 meter tall, kid killer SUVs.
They are certainly specific to the region of America.
And that is some bullshit.
It's time for regional bullshit.
Regional bullshit.
Regional bullshit.
Every little town has got their own bullshit.
Regional bullshit.
Every little town has just going to be devastated because it is the 25th of August today as
we're recording this, which means that we all missed out on the 24th annual Cheeseburger in Case
Phil.
Now, that's usually in my calendar, so I don't know what's...
It's always mid-August.
It's mid-August every year, except for the year they had to cancel for COVID.
Now, we obviously know what the cheeseburger in Caseville is, but I thought I would maybe just
give a quick summary for the listener.
This comes to us from the website My Michigan Beach. Ever tried a
cheeseburger in Caseville, Michigan? No, intervign. Now's your chance. The
Caseville Cheeseburger Festival held every August is the event of the season
on Michigan's Thumb Coast. Where? The Thumb Coast.
People in Michigan love to head down to the thumb coast.
People in Michigan love to head down to the thumb coast for the weekend.
I'm heading out the thumb with the kids.
That's the sort of thing they say to each other all the time.
Yeah, Michigan people are always saying that.
Smell the cheeseburgers, wafting through the air.
Hear the sounds of Jimmy Buffet songs miggled with the laughs the laughs the laughs the laughs the the the the air, hear the sounds of Jimmy Buffett songs mingled with the laughs of party-goers
on a Lake Curon Beach. Folks are already making plans for some Michigan fun in the sun,
but what is the amazing case-filled cheeseburger festival all about? I love an article that
asked the question that I'm asking. Yeah. I said, but what is this? I was thinking that, too. It's weird because it's like a quarter of the way th th th th th th th th th th th th th th through th through th through th through th through th through th through th through th through th through th through th through th through th through th through th through th through th through th through th tho tho thoe tho' the the tho' thoer was thinking that too. It's weird because it's like a quarter of the way through the article.
You've already got me on the hook.
Yeah.
And with only seven lead-in questions.
It all started with musician Jimmy Buffett's signature song, Cheeseburger in Paradise.
An ode to his quote, carnivorous love of cheeseburgers and a dream of eating them in a tropical paradise. Inspired by Buffett's tropical music and carefree attitude,
the Cheeseburger and Caseville Festival began in 1999 as a way to wrap up summer with a bang
while drawing tourists into town.
Now, almost 25 years later, thousands flocked to the shores of Caseful at the
Michigan's Thumb to enjoy friends, family and fun at the Cheeseburger and Caseville Festival each August. This popular festival grew
quickly. Caseful has even earned the nickname Key North an homage to Buffett's
beloved Key West. Nobody's calling it that. It's so good. At this quote
celebration of life and the cruise we are making through it, as Buffett
says, you can enjoy tenful days of fun, games, music, sun, and of course, cheeseburgers.
Really, really strong on the Jimmy Buffett kind of theme to this.
It's so specific.
It's so specific.
What do we love? Cheeseburgers, Jimmy Buffett. Was Jimmy Buffett
bored here? Was the Cheeseburger invented here? No and no. I've got to say it's sounding good to me
though. Well, I'm going to make it sound even better by giving you an almost complete list of all
the events that are happening at, well, happened at the 24th Cheeseburger in Caseville.
Buy a duck, race the duck, win a buck.
Mm-hmm.
Sorry, hang on.
Is it just catching up with that sentence?
Yes.
Just catching up with that sentence.
Yes.
First you have to...
Are you responsible for this duck now?
Well, up until step two. Fuck I've got to look after this duck. Where you have to... Are you responsible for this duck now? Well, up until step two.
Fuck, I gotta look after this duck.
Where you race the duck.
Are you renting it?
I believe it's a rubber duck.
Oh. I could be wrong.
The winning a buck? I don't know if everyone wins.
How much does the duck cost?
Are you losing money just by going into the buyerioduck, Race the Duck, Winnebuck event?
Sounds like a money pit.
Second we have the Seashel Hunt.
That's just good clean fun.
The hat-making workshop and flip-flop-off contest.
Yeah.
The cornhole tournament? Incidentally, in some big cornhole news, the world record for largest cornhole tournament
was broken at the Iowa State Fair this week with like 930 participants.
That's a tournament for having the largest cornhole.
That's right, yes.
They've got to stop naming things, things.
Or like, stop referring to things once they just become synonymous for the word for us.
For something else. Yeah. Why, would you prefer it to go by its other name?
Dad Hole?
I mean, obviously, but...
Continue with the list here, the frog jumping contest.
The conch honk contest.
The conch honk contest. I just, I hope so bad it's like a hundred people lined up just tuning conches while a bunch of people are walking past with like decibel meters.
Honking your conch.
Honking on my conch.
Me and 99 other people from Caseville hooking our conches together.
We have the cone eating contest. Stop it.
The hula hoop and limbo contest.
The annual cheeseburger best photo contest.
The annual best dressed cheeseburger house.
What fuck is a cheeseburger house?
Stop. Stop. Stop subtly revealing new the new. house contest? What fuck is a cheeseburger house? Stop...
Stop subtly revealing new world law.
This doesn't have to be a lived in universe.
Okay, so we've already covered two aspects of a cheeseburger contest here.
The next thing is the best cheeseburger contest. Okay. Which is distinct from the best cheeseburger contest here. The next thing is the best cheeseburger contest.
Okay.
Which is distinct from the best cheeseburger photo contest.
And I don't know how.
This photo versus the actual cheeseburger.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Check the symbol versus the symbolized.
Yeah.
The Cigna.
The cheeseburger 5K?
Yeah. Yeah, flamingo races for children.
What the...
Sorry. He sure does.
Yeah. Yeah, I don't, I don't entirely sure about...
Oh, maybe that's when you have to hop, and it's for kids.
Okay. That would make more sense than riding a flamingo.
Or if they're just whipping flamingos out there for kids.
Who knows?
Who knows?
Like pig races, but, uh, with flamingos.
I'm just on a flamingo.
Yeah.
The adult and teen jokokokoke run? What's the difference between the adult and the teen version?
One of them is way ruder.
Hang on, oh, they're different events.
I thought that there were combined events so that you had to have a team of one adult and
one team doing Joker?
The Joker Poker Run.
We got the electric foil boarding lesson in session.
The stand-up paddleboard lesson in session.
The stand-up paddleboard and kayak sunset session.
There's just too many things.
We're like halfway through the list.
The Cheeseburger Museum slash what is it contest.
Fuck me.
There's more events than Hobart has in a year.
Ah, this is just a little set of three here.
The mud bath, the slime party, and the kids' phone party.
Oh, you've got all viscosity's covered.
That's right.
We have Kids Safety Day.
All right.
Hopefully that happens before the phone party.
Jesus.
We have the military tribute?
Of course.
Of course.
It'd be cool if they did the military tribute by honking their conscience.
At the slide button.
It's the 21 honk.
Conch salute.
Playing the last post on my conch. We have bags, balls and burgers.
We sure do.
Golfing under the stars. It just seems unsafe.
And of course, last but by no means least, famous chicken dinners. What, this is, that one intrigues. What is famous chicken dinners?
I think it speaks for itself.
Just a food truck or that's an event?
I don't know.
It actually is quite hard to find out information about any of these.
Like the website just says what the event is, what date it's happening on and
who sponsors it, but with no real description of what happens or what to do when you get there........
it, but with no real description of what happens or what to do when you get there. I assume everyone in Caseville just knows what the What Is it contest is and what famous
chicken dinners is.
And what to wear to the slime party? What's the dress code? Is there an adult's phone
party or just for kids getting loose?
Are they going to slime when you get there or do you have to slime yourself?
You know, it's come pre-slime?
But you can still get pregnant for pre-slime.
I was reading that the parade at this festival attracts over a hundred thousand people every year.
No, come on.
Which like no event in Australia attracts over a hundred thousand people.
Like anywhere. What's so special about this parade?
Is it hoony?
I mean, the Cranola race riot, maybe.
Yeah, I think they're harvested sustainably.
Editing, production, fart sound effects.
These are all important resources from our local ecosystems.
That's why we're asking you to go to Patreon.
to their to'n'eviso and pledge five US dollars a month to help support the healthy
growth of a homegrown podcast.
In exchange you'll get an extra sustainably farmed episode every week,
access to our Discord, and a naturally pristine, promo-free podcast feed.
Thank you for helping look after one of nature's most precious resources.
All those people, they're going to have to get there somehow.
And because it is on the shore of Lake Huron, some of them might get there by boats,
which are a type of ship, or vice versa.
It's time, of course, for the shipping report.
I'm etching for another edition of the ship and report.
You nailed that.
That was so smooth.
Yeah.
In my effort, sorry to try and zoom in on the thumb coast.
Michigan's got a real state of two states thing going on, don't they?
They're like, we'll have over here and also this little bit over here.
Are you talking about the Upper Peninsula?
Yeah, so I zoomed in on the Upper Peninsula and for some reason just zoomed immediately into a place that's just called gay. Hmm. I have my favorite shirt that I own is from a place in Michigan.
It's the beautiful town of Gaylord Michigan, and it is the like 2010 Gaylord Michigan basketball camp
but I spelled basketball wrong on the shirt.
Oh wow.
Yeah, basketball.
It's very good.
One time I mistakenly referred to people from the Upper Peninsula as being either Upers or
Upeys, which is what they call themselves one of those two things.
That's their word.
And someone wrote into us and was like, you dumb, fucking asshole.
But I can't remember which one it was that I said, which one was wrong.
Don't write into us. Here we go. This is our no jokes, no deaths, no deaths at all of this segment, not a single tragic death,
where we read through the last 7 to 14 days of shipping news. The Rollon, Rollo-off
cargo ship Al-Nawa Express ran a ground north of Razgarib in Egypt.
Hmm. Shame. Man, that's a damn shame. Al Nawa Express ran a ground north of Razgarib in Egypt.
Shame.
Yeah, that's a damn shame.
The Cape Size bulk carrier brave sailor collided with the Panamax bulk carrier lucky joy at Singapore bunkering anchorage.
Not that lucky.
It's bad news.
That seems like a joke.
It seems like a joke.
The general cargo ship Manasa Moon M. suffered engine failure while transiting the Dardanelles.
Roughly 300 containers were damaged after a container fire on the container ship Zim Charleston,
while it was off the coast of Colombo-Shralanka,
the general cargo ship Sun Unicorn suffered engine failure in the Black Sea
shortly after exiting the boss for a strait.
Terrible, awful.
The bridge of the inland cargo ship Southford was destroyed after it struck a bridge over the
Shelter Rhine Canal near Rilland
Zealand in the Netherlands.
Yeah, how ironic.
Just an observation, not a joke.
The bulk carrier Maritza collided with bulk carrier Joy at West Hinder Anchorage near
Ostend, Belgium.
And finally, the General Cargo Ship, Evolution 8 8 struck the birthed chemical tanker Golden
Creation at Gamtian Busan, Korea.
Yeah.
Thanks for that, then.
Yeah.
I was trying to be, I was being really good then.
No jokes.
Some great names in there. I'm going to say, of all the shipping reports we've done since the first one, that
might be the best collection of names we've had.
Sun Unicorn?
I like Sun Unicorn.
Yeah, wonderful.
That's a, like a heavy psych band I reckon.
I reckon. Evolution 8 as there were eight versions of the film evolution, thir. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. th. I. I. I. th. th. I... th.................................. th. to. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th David Duchovny. And the only one left in, of the main cast,
is Sean William Scott.
Everyone else has been replaced by someone else.
I imagine for a lot of those boats,
having that accident was the last thing they wanted to happen.
Oh, I said that wrong.
It was probably the one thing that they didn't want to happen. It's time for the one thing we didn't want to happen.
This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. This story comes to us from the Philadelphia Inquirer,
Rifles delivered to high school in suburban Philadelphia by mistake. Uh-oh. Yeah, that's like a, that's a, oopsie.
Oopsie.
Yeah.
I'm also enjoying that the delivery driver is like, well, it says here on the form.
Can you just sign?
Or says something close to it on the form, maybe. A FedEx worker accidentally delivered 30 rifles intended for a private collector to Chester High
School in suburban Philadelphia on Friday, according to Chester Police.
The delivery, six boxes containing 0.30 caliber M1 rifles was dropped off Friday afternoon,
Chester Police Commissioner Stephen Gretzky said. Within minutes the driver realized his mistake and contacted police who were able to pick
the guns up Monday and give them to their intended recipient.
Quote, it really was just an honest mistake.
The address is a very similar, Kretske said.
Everything was legitimate and no charges are going to be filed.
The guns had been ordered by a collector who owns an auto repair shop in Chester Township,
which borders the city, Gretzky said.
What the fuck?
Why do you collect guns? Collect beany babies.
Like, you know? I'd collect funco pops.
Even if you are collecting guns. Like to me, if you're a gun collector, you're like,
oh, I've got this cool old Winchester from the 30-tester thirty thirt. thirthirthirthirthirthirthirthirthirthirthirthirthirthirthirthirthirthirthirthirthirthirton, or thir thir thir thir thir thir thir thir th- th- th- and thi- thir th- and th- and th- and their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their the their their their their their their their and their their their their their thu, thu, thu, and thu. thi thi thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi thi, and thi' thirty, thirty, thirty, to' to' to' to' to' to' to tho' tho' tho' tho' the thi thi guns, like to me, if you're a gun collector, you're like, oh, I've got this cool old Winchester from the 30s or whatever, or I've got several different,
like, what do you need? This one's 30 rifles? 30 M1 rifles for. You're not a collector, that's,
like, that's an arsenal. That's bulk, yeah. Yeah. Hmm. That's so fucked up.
It's odd that that's not even like a point in this story.
I've been like, hey, why did this guy need like a small armies worth of guns for?
Yeah, like, we found out that something insanely dangerous had happened, and it's fine.
The police went and picked it up and then dropped it off to the lunatic who ordered the guns and they're safely in
his hands yeah lucky they weren't at that school.
God damn that's just that fucking country man.
So hang on it so the addresses was it what was similar about the addresses the street name is it something else?
they don't get into detail on that I'm gonna assume maybe it wasn't about the addresses? The street name, is it something else? They don't get into detail on that. I'm going to assume maybe it wasn't just the number was off or something.
Yeah. But not, but he made a mistake. So the FedEx guy read them. So he gets to the school with his crate full of rifles.
Yeah. And he's gone, huh? The thing on that indicates that they're from the gun store, right?
What?
I mean contains guns.
I feel like for legal reasons you would probably want the opposite of that.
Like when you get stuff delivered from like, if you're getting sex shit online,
they put it in discrete packaging.
Can you just get a gun on like Amazon Prime?
I mean... Yeah, they put it in in in in a the discrete in in a discrete in a discrete in a discrete in a they put it in a discrete packaging that
says LH trading. Yeah, that's right. The website Love Honey and every postman
would know what that is. What a specific example. I believe they do free shipping
over $60. Actually they would probably be the easiest company to get a
sponsorship from it Australia I reckon. Let's get an ad deal with Love Honey. Yeah, hit us up. They use really inclusive language on their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the. the. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. theeat. the. the. the. their the. the. the. to get a sponsorship from it Australia I reckon. Let's get an ad deal with Love Honey. Yeah, hit us up.
They use really inclusive language on their website.
They don't seem exploitative.
Let's do it.
Ben will test out your vibrators for you.
Before it gets sent to you.
But like, I think there are probably legal requirements
that if you're sending a gun in here,
because like a teen will be
like oh dope I take this gun maybe but wouldn't it have to be signed for by the
recipient I would hope so yeah but if that's true then someone at the school was
like whoop okay I had also assumed that a crate full of guns was perhaps
something that didn't just go in the post.
Yeah.
They even just go to FedEx and go, hey, I'd like to send someone, this box full of guns.
And they say, okay, are you sending it to a school?
And I say, no, I'm just sending it to some guy.
30 guns. So six boxes of like M1 rifles. You're looking at like, that's like a quarter
of a pallet worth of stuff there. Yep. Yeah. That country's fucked up, man. Country stuffed.
So weird. Not like Australia, no problems. We don't have any problems. Community members
learned of the era Monday evening when Chester Upland School District Superintendent Craig Parkinson sent a letter to parents outlining the issue.
What a big wet kill joy.
Sorry we got all these guns.
Dear parents, 30 guns arrived at the school, but we didn't do anything with them.
Yeah, and then the police came and took him away, so. I don't know what you're all excited about.
I was reading another story this week about a school resources officer,
which is the cop that is stationed at a school in America.
It's what they do for some reason.
Having his gun stolen out of his car.
Just like.
Oh, so I was, I was reading,
so we got two books from the library about like working dogs.
And one of them is for the police, which I hate,
and the other is for, for firefighters.
And the guy who is the partner of the dog that for the firefighters
also has a gun. What? Why? That's like bro, what are you doing? What do you need to do?
You don't need to shoot the fire. Well what? Why does he have a gun? I don't know!
Is it like an emergency animal put-down situation? I've got to euthanise the fire dog? Dog's gone fire mad. That dog's starting
fires. I thought, swore I would never do this. Just one bullet in there with the name of his
trusted service out of all that. And scribes on it. Why are you, why were you getting out books about
working dogs? No, I, um, I didn't. It's just from's just from the library. Caitlin's got a constant
stream of books that she gets out from the library. And she's just reading up on dogs with jobs?
No, they're for Finn. Oh, okay. Sorry. That makes more sense. It's a picture book.
Right. Okay, I thought these were like how to train your police or fire dog.
Right, you're saying in this children's book with a fireman and a dog, and a dog, yeah.
The fireman has a gun visibly.
In every picture.
That's really fucking weird.
He's just straight up got a glock on his belt the whole time. I'm gonna, hey I just want to Google, do fire. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. thi. that, the that, the the the thi belt the whole time. I'm gonna, hang on, I just want to Google, do firemen carry guns?
Oh, it's the first thing.
That's awesome.
Are they armed firefighters?
Yes.
While firefighters in civilian life,
including those who fight wildfires do not tend to carry guns or firearms,
there is one group of firefighters that are armed at all the times military firefighters. He's not it's not the guy it's not him he was a he was regular who's a civilian
firefighter civilian firefighter. Although there's some sort of crossover with
the DEA because the the dog the dog's there because the dog's there because the dog's the dog's there because the dog's the dog's the togne the togu the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the dog's the dog's the dog's the dog's the dog's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tog's tog's tog's tog's tog's the tog's tog the the the tog tog's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the dogs are snitch. The dog is there to sniff out kerosene and then
they just work backwards to say that the whole fire was deliberately lit.
Huh. Sorry I've gotten really distracted by a quarry question here because it's answered by...
No, it's asked by the craziest person alive. Is it true that some firefighters carry guns when going to a fire started by a terrorist?
Ready to kill a terrorist. Ready to kill this terrorist that started the South's fire.
Really, you really come in strong with a premise.
They should.
They should.
Douglas Winston, who worked in municipal public safety from 1989 to the present,
says, as others have said, there's really a chance to know a fire
a terrorist. Seems unlikely. to the present says, as others have said, there's rarely a chance to know a fire is started
by a terrorist.
Seems unlikely.
It's so fucking weird.
Oh wow, as a tactical medic, I carried firearms and incidents involving criminals, but I was
there to support the police tactical team and provide medical aid to victims.
And then one answer which is just, only in USA, LaMau. Beautiful.
Classes are scheduled to resume in the 2,621 student district on Monday.
Parkinson said the boxes were delivered to the school's loading dock and secured inside the building over the weekend.
The standard practice for any delivery.
The boxes did not appear to be suspicious, Parkinson said.
Quote, we wanted to communicate with you about this in case you hear rumors in to be suspicious, Parkinson said.
Quote, we wanted to communicate with you about this in case you hear rumors in the community or in social media.
Parkinson said in the letter, we're focused on a positive start to the school year and can't wait to see you and our students back in our schools.
Sorry, the last minute rising inflection was because I didn't see the exclamation
mark when I started the sentence and I didn't know to start sort of to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to to the to to to the to to the the the to to the the to to the to to to the the to the started the sentence and I didn't know to start sort of rising my inflection earlier.
Speaking of schools, it's time for school watch.
This story comes to us from K-O-L-R-News in Missouri, which I initially read as K-L-O-R-N-U-R-N-U-S, the
C-The-Claw!
The Claw! K-O-L-R News in Missouri, which I initially read as K-L-O-R News, the Claw!
But that doesn't exist, there's no station with that number.
Cassville School District returning corporal punishment for students.
Fu-finding. Finally. Thank God.
This is so fucking weird, man.
An old school discipline method is making its way back to school in one local school district.
What do we think it is?
Is it the cane?
It's not the cane.
It's not not the cane.
But you are close.
We have learned that the Catsville School District is bringing back corporal punishment for
students. Under the new policy, students could be punished with a paddle.
Pardon?
Come on.
They're bringing back paddling.
Come on.
Administrators say it would be the last resort for parents and faculty members if other
means of discipline do not work.
Jesus Christ. What is fucking wrong with these people?
Read one book. God Christ. What is fucking wrong with these people? Read one book.
I suppose. God damn. Were you guys around, were you at school when when the cane was there?
No. No were you? Yeah. What? You're not that old? You're like, what? Like three years older than me?
That's fucked up? That's insane. I think they got rid of it in like grade 5? Is three years older than me? That's fucked up. That's insane!
What?
I think they got rid of it in like grade five.
Is that?
No, 100%?
This is at my, at my primary school, in Mackay.
In Mackay.
Yeah, in Mackay.
They do things a little differently up there.
They still hit their kids with a weapon. Fucking Jesus. So that would have been in 1992, up to, through to about what,
1990, uh, four or five?
Are you fucking serious?
Yeah?
Jesus.
Oh, God.
This is a thing.
You could just get caned.
Yeah, yeah. People, kids got regularly caned. Like, we're talking like once a fortnight. There was a kid, sent to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the thi thi thi, the. the. Through the. Through the. Through the. Through tho tho th. Through the. Through the. Through the. Through the. Through the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. Te. Te. Te, the, the, the, the, their the, theate. their their theateateateateateateateateateateate. theateateateate, theate, the, the, regularly caned like we're talking like once a fortnight
There was a kid sent to the principal's office to get the cane
And I don't know I think they get on the hand yeah, it's a hand thing right they're gonna put their hand out like the fucking
Like they're getting the pain box from June
What that's that the gum jab jabber is the stabby thing is that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thabby thabby thabby thabby thabby thabby thabby thabby thatting the the thabby thaboo tha thy that's that's thy the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha' tha' tha' th stabby thing is the gun. That's the stabby thing. I don't think the pain box has a name. Okay, they get the pain box from
June. Queensland got rid of corporal punishment in 1995. Yeah. Yeah, there you go. That's
that's insane. The way my parents talked about it, I assume it like. I thought it was in like the way my parents talked about it I assume it like I thought it was in like the 1950s.
Yeah it's sort of sort of concurrent with like blackbirding.
Fucking.
Uh, Western Australia got rid of it in 1986. Uh, New South Wales got rid of it in 1990.
Man, that is so... I am. This is blowing my mind. Yeah.
Oh, the Northern Territ I am... This is blowing my mind.
Oh, the Northern Territory got rid of it in 2015.
Oh.
Okay.
And, um, yeah, I mean if you know anything about Australia and the Northern Territory,
and how the youth that treated in the Northern Territory, That makes... Yeah, it starts in schools, so that's...
Fucking hell.
That's so cool.
That's... Oh, okay, so this is quite interesting.
Oh my God!
All right.
So in Victoria, government schools banned it in 198, uh, non-government schools got rid of it in 2006.
And that's so cool that you could just have a school that's just like, oh no, we're
the school for hitting people.
Yeah, we're Catholic so we're just going to whack your child in a face with a stick.
Yeah, and that costs you $30,000 a year.
And you can imagine the people that deliberately pay for that school.
It's very cool stuff. Yeah.
In New South Wales first band at 1987, the band was repealed in 1989 and it was
banned again in 1995.
It's gonna get a bit of another go.
Tasmania government and non-government schools in 1999.
The ACT got rid of in 1988 except for non-government schools, which is 1997.
Northern Territory it was for both kinds of school in 2015.
What the fuck is happening here?
Western Australia is the same deal,
non-government schools, it was twenty-fifteen.
South Australia, government schools, 1991.
Non-government schools, twenty-nine-nine.
toovern schools, it has never been banned. to tho'-coo, very. the th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, thock, thock, thock, thock, thock, thock, tho, tho, tho, tho, what, tho, tho, tho, what, what, what, what, what's, what is, what is, what is, what is, what is, what-s, what-s, what-s, what-s, what-s, what-s, what-s, what-s, what-s, what-s, what is, what-s, what-s, what-s, the-s, the th-s, th-s, th... th. th. th-s, th. tho-s, tho-s, tho-s, is tho-s, is tho-s-s-skkkko'-sho'-sho'-sho'-sho'-sko'-sko' in 1994, in non-government schools,
it has never been banned.
Oh, cool.
Very cool.
We've got some cool private schools in Queensland too, so.
You could easily run for office on a platform of we need to bring back the cane for children
and you'd get one seat in Parliament.
If you're party...
You'd get like the Atherton Plainlands. Like if you were saying you're bringing back corporal punishment for kids and making it
mandatory to drink water out of the garden hose, I reckon you've got two Senate seats and
maybe a chance at a lower house seat.
Fuck.
I, yeah, it's so fucked up.
Like that hole, that boomer and now Gen X and now elder millennial mindset of like, well
this fucking shit thing happened to me.
And I'm fine.
That's why I want to hit my kids.
That's why I want them to get skin cancer.
That's why I want like, they should be getting more lead in
their drinking water as far as I'm concerned. Yeah, Macai like recently voted
to get lead back in their drinking water so they're doing good. Get rid of
fluoride in the water in Queensland yet but we really didn't for a long
time there. Oh no we so in Mackay they had it and then they voted to get rid of it.
I care. I care. I care. I was like top of my head probably 2016. God damn. I love Queensland. What a beautiful place.
Yeah, greatest place on earth. The superintendent said that this decision was a result of a survey
sent out the parents last year. The parents responded saying discipline is one of their biggest concerns. One parent
of a Casfield student said she was shocked by the decision. Quote, I do not think it is appropriate,
said Miranda Waltrip. You know there are a lot of kids in the school district that don't have
parents that use resources the way that they should for their children.
don't have parents that use resources the way that they should for their children. Waltrip has three kids in Casfield schools.
She said she was shocked to hear students opted in and could be disciplined with a paddle.
World Trip said she would like to see the district try other methods.
Sorry? Pardon? Yeah.
Yeah. So that's not true.
I don't think. What do you mean? So the bottom
part of this story they say that it's the parents opt in. So I don't know if they've just
phrased that awkwardly, but it's not like they're going to be kids. That's fine.
Your parents can opt in to having you paddled. The kids that are like, yeah, please paddle me. Do not paddle them. Stay the fuck away from those kids.
Yeah, they're horrible kids.
They're the ones that are always in a thing
where they roll their eyelids back,
at the back of class for no reason.
You know what the thing's called.
Don't play coy with them.
What's that called? Okay. Quote. You know, I feel like if they had a different outlet, like counseling service in school
instead of corporal punishment, there would be the more appropriate answer, Waltrip said.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a crazy thing to the even say.
Yeah, but how much is a paddle cost?
It's probably quite cheap.
Got to talk to these kids?
Jesus.
At the end of the day, they're having they're they're having they're having they're having they're having they're having they're having they're having they're having they're having they're having they're having they're having they're having they're having they're having they're having they're having their their their their they're having their the end of the day, they're having to hold a child down and spank them or use whatever means that they can to make the child submissive when that is not the issue.
It is the fact they need to be heard because children act out for varied reasons.
So this is, you know, like whatever, whatever, whatever, like whatever, whatever, like,
whatever's interviewed for a story, and they're not like, a subject of their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their subject, their subject, their subject, their subject, th. Yeah. As a woman's just like, hey, here's a bunch of reasonable points. Yeah.
Wall Shrip said this policy is a snapshot of the community in Cassville.
Quote, we live in a really small community where people were raised a certain way and they're
kind of blanketed in that fact that they grew up having discipline and swatts.
And so for them, it's kind of like going like to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their's kind of like going back to the good old days, but it's not because
it's going to do more harm than good at the end of the day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't think it does any good.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's only harm.
It's pure harm.
So that math will be an answer to keeping kids in classrooms after parents said suspensions were one of
their biggest concerns last school year. The complaints that we have heard from
some of our parents is that they don't want their students suspended. They want
another option, Johnson said. So this is just another option that we
could use before we get to that point of suspension.
Come on now. What? What? Have one more meeting about this. Yeah. Like think about
what you're saying. Just you can't just be like well the parents don't want them out of
school with suspension so we're gonna have to fucking hit him. Yeah. And the parents are like, oh yes,
you'll have to hit him. You'll have to be out of my son. You simply must. Yeah. I don't want I don't want to have to handle someone. Oh. I to like someone. Yeah. Yeah. I to like someone. I to like someone. I to like someone. I to like someone. I to like someone. I to like someone. I to like someone. I to like like like someone. I to like like someone. I to like like someone. I to like someone. I to like someone. I to like someone. I to like like to like to have to like to like to have to have to have to have the the the the the the the to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to be to be to be to be the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I. I. I. I their their their. I. I. I'll. I'll. I'll. Someone else paddle your son. That's a whole extra level to paddling your own son.
I'd like some fucking...
Sorry, I was about to be like some idiot teacher.
We love our teachers.
Teachers are the most hardworking people on earth.
Yeah.
Uh, except for all women.
Hmm. Thank you.
You're all welcome.
It just, you don't paddle my child.
Please.
And the, why the paddle?
The paddle is just goofing up the whole process.
You're making it silly.
Yeah, you're only a clown element to traumatizing your child.
Well, we're not going to suspend Billy, but we are going to have to run him over with
this tiny car.
If whitewashed your son, and if he does it again, he's getting suspended.
Students will only receive the new discipline if parents off their children in.
Dr. Johnson says the paddle-based discipline, you have to know how fucking insane you sound, will only be used
as the last resort. Corporal punishment will only be used when other means of discipline have
failed, and then only in reasonable form when the principal approves it, Johnson said.
But it doesn't work. Yeah. Where do you get the paddle? Because I can only think
of one place where you're buying a paddle. These days? Love Honey.com. to you. And they've got a quality
range of them. Dr. Johnson said he does not anticipate using this punishment often, but if the
principal punished as a child this way, it will be done by administrators only and only in the
presence of another certified employee. Certified for what? Certified for
what for paddling kids? For paddle observation? Yep. You paddled him.
God damn. Parents can also opt in or opt out at any point in the school year.
Which seems dangerous to me for the reason of like imagine you've had a really shit day
with your kid being like really annoying, like that's it?
I'm going to sign that form.
I'm opting you back in.
How fucked would it be if like everyone knew who the opting in and the opting out kids were as well? Yeah, I mean that's it feels like it would maybe it would your parents opted in. Like, damn, Brandon's mom fucking hates him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it feels like it would maybe be a really easy way for kids to track which other kids
had a shit life at home.
But because kids don't have like, um, empathy or sympathy.
Yeah, they just bully that kid.
They'd bully the fuck out of them.
Maybe they're they're they're they're they're they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just th kid. They'd bully them. Yeah, they'd bully the fuck out of them. Maybe they're just putting these parents on a list. Oh, it's a honeypot. Yeah, it's a honeypot. Like, we're gonna
hit your kids. You just got to opt in. Yeah. Oh, you were yes please with three
exclamation marks on the form. How much do we have to pay you? Service is free, sir. But with one sucked up. Yeah, it. It that's. It that's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's that's a that's a that's a the that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a th- It's a the th- It's a h- It's a ha. It's a honey- It's a honey- It's a honey. It's a honey. It's a honey. It's a honey. It's a honey. It's a honey. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th-s. It's a h-s a hens-s a hens-s a henshoney-s a hon-s a hon-s a honey-s a honey-s a honey-s a honey-s a honey-s-s-s-s-s. That's the fucked up. Yeah. It feels like
this also shouldn't be like a school policy issue. Yeah. More of a legal issue? Yeah, like they
can't just be like. We kind of, we got together and we decided, time to start hitting those kids again.
Like, um, like hitting someone is assault.
No one is a child.
My layman's understanding of the roar.
God damn.
What if there was another person there watching?
And they were certified for Whitewater rapids.
But, we're certified at something.
I know it's like a whole, you know,
a woke, younger, millennial parents thing or whatever,
but like, the idea of raising your children
as if they are people with bodily autonomy,
and that being a completely foreign concept to older people?
It's so, it's so weird and the, you can, you can also spot the moment that their brains
shut down where you're like, oh, you know, I understand, you know, everyone used to hit the kids,
you didn't know any better, blah, blah, blah. We know better now.
We know it doesn't help it actually causes a huge amount of
issues. Obviously it's going to cause, you know, rift in your relationship. So, you know, it
just doesn't work, it doesn't work. And so all you're doing is you're being violent
against your children. And they're like, yeah, yeah, well, but, but anyway, you know, you got to, sometimes they just, they just got it, you know.
It's like, oh, you just want to hit your kids.
You just want to, you're frustrated and in the moment you want to hit, hit something.
Yeah, that's such a fucked thing to say as a relatable thing as well.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I'd be like, oh, I know, but you kind of two little faddle.. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. they, oh, oh, oh, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they just just, you just, they're just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you just, you don't. I, the concept, I got, I got, I got two little boys now. I got two little, I got two little fellas.
That never paddled.
Two boys, unpaddled.
Unpaddled.
And like, the thought of just like being violent against them is not even as like a reactionary
thing, but like, as a, as a form of their like discipline and well-being is just, that's just fucked up. That's just a nightmare thing to think.
It's, like obviously this is not analogous
because it's not the same, but like,
the whole thing with where,
10, 20 years ago or whatever,
people believe that with dogs,
the only, like, way to train them was by, like being aggressive and asserting dominance, and like, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, like, like, the Caesar what's his name kind of approach
is that that um the one of the main characters of the new planet of the ape series I believe
new the 10 years go but like that whole thing where people like oh you have to you have to be the
alpha which it turns out was a concept that was fucked from the
yeah stolen from wolves and not true for them.
So I didn't know that wasn't true.
Yeah, it's definitely, that's not even how wolves arranged their packs.
The guy that did that study was doing really bad science.
And like all of the studies we have now show that if you try and do like, disciplining your dog by like yelling, like, they they they, they, they, they, they, they, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, th.............. So, that's, that's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th.. So, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's, that's, that's, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, that's, that's, thi, thi. Yeah, them or hitting them when they've done something wrong instead of doing like positive reinforcement. You basically train your dog to fear you and to be violent. Yeah.
Because that's what they've been shown and that's what they respond to and they associate
you with fear and like it fucks them up real bad but also people aren't good at dealing
with their frustration which I guess it's same as true of parenting of being like, all I need is for this thing that I'm caring for, to listen to me because I have its best interest at heart and it's
not doing it.
And so they kind of, it was convenient when we believe dogs work that way for people who are like,
great, I get to channel that anger into being a good dog owner.
And now I'll watch like try to do that shit to their dogs like screaming at them and I'm like, yeah. Well that's, we've known that that's not how that works for a real long time.
You just fucking your dog up, bro.
Shit sucks, man.
Be nice to the people around you.
Unless they're posting cringe online and then destroy them.
Absolutely crush them.
Destroy their self-esteem. Send them a JPEG of a gun. And they just sort of...
Leave it at that.
I guess that is technically constituted an episode of the podcast.
Buntivista.
And it's the positive stories you come here for.
Oh man.
Yeah, I tried to spice this thing up with some less depressing stuff.
But again, I kind of put the depressing one at the end there.
Take your kids out of the Castle School District, I guess. And keep taking them all the way past the Missouri border.
Yeah. All the way out of the United States. I don't even know what borders Missouri. Yeah, keep going until you get to Canada or Mexico. It's beautiful over there.
Let us know once you've done that, we'll catch you next week.
Bye. Bye. you know the tp.