Boonta Vista - EPISODE 271: Bodily Beschamel (Feat. Riley Quinn)

Episode Date: October 27, 2022

Andrew, Lucy and Theo are joined by Trashfuture's Riley to solve liquid mysteries, resolve stinky workplace disputes, reflect on strength-based surgeries, consider the smell of milk jugs and much more.... LIVE AUSTRALIAN SHOWS COMING UP! - Trashfuture in Canberra with guest Andrew Law on November 15th, tickets available here: https://www.thestreet.org.au/shows/trashfuture-live-canberra - Trashfuture in Sydney with guest Tom Walker on November 10th, tickets available here: https://musicboozeco.oztix.com.au/outlet/event/3213de46-cef7-49c4-abcb-c9bdf4bcb61f

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Zankock, the tea too-lii Shonenoninoa Shunenna Shinonina the blue the the the the their their door to the'o'e I'm just theen the'e'er the'er the tree tooe toe thee toe to be able to be mucu and their their may even toe'n'eanita the inaicenaed
Starting point is 00:00:50 But, but, but the'kid today the today Can I just see a stop. Can I just be a stop. Can I just be a star? Can I just keep dog. Can I just keep on?
Starting point is 00:01:16 Can I just get done? Hello and welcome to Buntavista season 5. So glad to have you back for another go-around. I'm Theo and I'm ready. So let's start the show. You may have seen her writing on SPS comedy, Junkie, and of course Twitter where she has over 35,000 followers. She's the only member of the podcast smart enough to let her men's membership lapse. It's Lucy.
Starting point is 00:01:50 Hey Lucy. Hi. Hey, how you going? You're ready to kick off season 5? Uh, yes. Uh, yes. Wonderful. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:02:02 And also, also perfect, as always, he's the irrepressible, commendable, impregnable, masterful man himself. Runner up in Australia's best pussy eater competition 2017, Mr. Cook you, Kimchi and then smoke your ass out. The Segway Samurai himself, it's Andrew. How are you, buddy? Ho! Let's go! My man is pumped!
Starting point is 00:02:27 We'll record some Bunter Vista. It's the first podcast to ever run to five seasons. That's right. We're like, we're like the friends of podcasts. That's right. And who's number one, sorry? Just out of interest? I think it's us right.
Starting point is 00:02:44 Was he to an Australian contest? Oh, oh, I'm like, yeah. Jesus Christ. And like, even though, like, granted, I didn't win that year, fair enough. And the next year, the person who came first, wasn't able to compete due to dying in a tragic cut, breaks car accident. And still ever convicted for that accident.
Starting point is 00:03:06 But I was able to win. I was able to win 2018. Yeah. And finally, returning guest, great friend of the show, hopefully by now you've heard him on the podcast Trash Future, which is a twisted take on tech politics and everything in between, co-host of Boney Island Whitefish, with our very own Andrew, now on season season two so check that out joining us ahead of the Australian Trash Future National Tour. He's British but don't hold that against him. It's Riley. Hey buddy. That was 95% accurate. What do I fuck up? I'm just I'm just very very pleased to be involved in another season 5 of something. Yeah. You guys like the new, the new new the new the the the the the the the the the the the the the tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. the. the. the. the. the. the. thin the. thin thi the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin th. th. thin thin thin the. the. the. the. the. the the the thin. the the the. the. thin. the. the. the. the. the. th be involved in another season 5 of something.
Starting point is 00:03:47 Yeah. You guys like the new theme music? Is that that's just the theme music? Yeah, I know I didn't write that. That's the intro to Neon Genesis Evangelion. But you were like playing a cover. You know, it was not. No, no, that's literally a legally binding copy. That you own, right? That you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you th, you th, you th, that, th, th, that, th, th, that, th, th, that, cover, you know, it was not a that's literally a legally binding copy
Starting point is 00:04:08 That you own right that you're claiming caught like you know how like sometimes you'll see on YouTube someone's like I don't know posting oh I don't yeah I don't know I renounce copyright to this Yeah, I don't do that you specifically do not renounce copyright to that song you're claiming exactly yeah, well it's like when you, when something's this video. You don't do that. You specifically do not renounce copyright to that song. You're claiming ownership. Yeah. It's like when you, when something's been in the public sphere using that kind of, like how Coke is just shorthand for soda now? Is it? Yeah, absolutely. They no longer own that theme because we've got it. That's ours, it's the copyright. I think we could more say that Coke is shorthand for COLA, really. Hmm. Yeah, I mean we don't have to get into a sort of a... Just having a little Coke, but you're having a little lemonade?
Starting point is 00:04:54 Yeah. I saw my favorite one of those the other day on YouTube, which was, uh, no copyright infringement intended. You get away with anything. We're sorry if you were offended. Yeah, a copyright lawyer version of, no offense, but you are fucking ugly. You know, it's just made like, I'm gonna just close my eyes and start uploading videos, and if one of the videos happens to infringe a copyright, then, you
Starting point is 00:05:25 know, that's no fault of mine. I copy held responsible. Yeah. It's on my fault. Yeah, my eyes were closed. My eyes were closed. How can you label that, how can you label that intent? Your Honor, my eyes were closed at the time of the alleged violation. So I want to also sort of say, first of all, that, that, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be that that to be that to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I thateo theooooooo theooooooo thoooooooo to to to to to to to thateeee to thate of say first of all, Theo, thank you for
Starting point is 00:05:48 mentioning that there is a trash future tour in Australia. If you like Buntavista's Ben McLeh then you are out of luck to see him live with us in Brisbane. But if you like Buntavista's runner-up cutest boy, Andrew Law, then it is almost too late, but not yet too late to see him with us in Canberra. The capital of Australia, Australian capital. That's right, they're doing two nights in Canberra? They're doing two nights in Canberra, is that right? We're doing one night in Canberra, and we're doing one night in Camberra,
Starting point is 00:06:25 but we're doing it not really because we wanted to go to Canberra. We genuinely are doing it because we wanted to say hi to Andrew. Yes. You are going to hate Canberra. Oh, it's beautiful. I was about to say we love it here, but I am not here in Canberra. I am currently in Brisbane sitting in Ben's apartment doing this podcast. Ben has gone out to see a show. I can't be bothered to go to work. You do it. That's right. He's left me alone, unmonitored, so who knows what I'm going to have rubbed which part
Starting point is 00:07:03 of my body on when he gets back. That's the mystery, you know? You have to be okay with the fact that Louis has also rubbed his body on that as well. So if you're okay with some cross-contamination happening. Yeah, I think that's the idea really. Something of the United Nations. These are all the things that we deal with, when we establish, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, when, the the tho, tho, tho, thii, the thi, thi, thi, thi, they, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. united nations. These are all the things that we deal with, you know, when we, when we establish relationships with each other, when we cohabitate, all things of that nature, but sometimes when you have relationships you can run into a little problem here or there.
Starting point is 00:07:35 And when you run into a problem, who do you turn to, we all know who, it's mother fucking Dr. Lucy. So can we quickly turn to... No, I missed my chance. All right, park it. Park it. Park it. Park it. Also, one more thing about the trash few for a tour, Aure Australia tour. I got so distracted by talking about why we went to Canber.
Starting point is 00:07:57 I forgot to say paiged for just a moment, which is, do you like Tom Walker and Demi Lardner? There are a small number of tickets available to see us with them in Sydney. That is Sydney Australia's largest city. It's home of the famous opera house, beach, barrier reef. And I've heard also, it's Austrian. It's... Famous Beach. And best coffee?
Starting point is 00:08:30 If you disagree with me, come to the Sydney show and tell me there. You'll have to buy a ticket. He can't say that on here. I don't think he can say that. Yeah. You guys got that Sydney Show, hey? We're doing Gimpy, so that's pretty big. Yeah, yours is good too.
Starting point is 00:08:46 You're this good too. That's true. We are doing a live show in Gimpy tomorrow, provided that this episode comes out right after we record it, which I'm pretty sure it will. If you can get yourself to the city of, Gimpy in Queensland, you can see thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, thi, the, the, tho, tho, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. the, the, the, the is the is the is the is theea''''a'a'a'a' is tooooooooooooooo, to to to see us tomorrow. Riley, I just want to say, you know that you are truly an honorary member of the podcast when you derail a segue like that.
Starting point is 00:09:11 Which brings me, of course, back to It's time to page Dr. Lucy. If you find that you are having a little relationship trouble. Just to pick up your telephone and dial it on the double. You call one, eight hundred, three, one, seven, five, five, now your page and dot and see. Yes, classic relationship trouble here. This is the perfect thing to ask Lucy about, really. If we're keeping it real? Are we keeping it real here on the show? I think we're keeping it one hundred. I think we're always keeping it real, keeping it hunted.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Yes, thank you. Cap or no cap? Like, no cap? No cap? That's good. We're no cap. To quickly confer with each other off to the side. Is it cap or is it not? Do what do you say? It's like on University Challenge.
Starting point is 00:10:14 We're going to go with cap. Thank you. And you're like, oh, I'm afraid it was no cap. But let's see what they're taking home. These fine, the university, the they're fine, they're fine, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the they're their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their their. their. their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. tha. tha. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. tap. university challenge caps. Doing who wants to be a millionaire. I'll phone a nephew. Can I phone a nephew? Sorry. Can I text my uncle?
Starting point is 00:10:32 None of my uncles would know what cap was. To be fair. That's not uncle's shit. Yeah, they in turn would have to ask their children who were my cousins, so I think I could go, I could go cousin at the youngest and ideally, although, yeah, my nephew is not old enough to know what cap is, there's the problem. Geez. I think what we've done is we've identified two different lifelines, you know, phone and nephew,
Starting point is 00:11:00 text and uncle. I'd like to, I'd like to engagement farm and ask if if this if this this this this this this this this this this this this this this to I'd like to engagement farm and ask if this has ever happened to y'all. Yeah, sex to co-worker, you know. This comes to us from the classic place where all relationship issues are resolved. We are of course talking about the subredd. S. Relationship underscore advice. My co-worker has been farting a lot. Here in the detail. That classic problem. Recently, my co-worker has been farting a lot.
Starting point is 00:11:36 What are the implications of this? That's a loaded question. It's a huge question. It's probably got to do a duky. Probably some diet implications, I imagine. I just can't believe that my co-worker, let's Andrew L, or no, that's too specific. How about a law has been for enough a storm in the office, and it's all bean diet. It's got to go somewhere, come on. For more context, this person writes, it all started when that's to to to that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thuke thu thu thu thu thu thu thu th in the office. It's all bean diet. It's got to go somewhere, come on.
Starting point is 00:12:06 For more context, this person writes, it all started when we were working together and she passed gas. I'm not buying it. Women don't fart. Women don't fu. I laughed because I thought she did it with her mouth. Clarifying question.
Starting point is 00:12:22 He thinks that what she was like doing the thing where you put your two hands up to your mouth and make like a fart away. Very much. Like he just like had said like, oh hey, why don't we go to like that salad place for lunch and she had very rude and juvenile way of dismissing his idea. Yeah. I thought she did it with her mouth before noticing the smell. She was embarrassed but when I laughed her mood switched and she said, quote,
Starting point is 00:12:48 Oh, you like that, huh? Oh! I didn't know how to reply. Huh. Ever since that point, she has been really letting it rip all the time, sometimes even drawing attention to it by giving a warning beforehand and requesting silence. Oh my god, she is down bad, dude. She's like, I finally found a dude who's into this.
Starting point is 00:13:13 I don't know if it's impolite to observe this, but sometimes, um, sometimes I think on the internet, there's three categories of people writing things that happened, which is things that happened, things that didn't happen, and things that didn't happen, but the person writing it is jacking off to the fact that they're writing it and I think this might be the other one. This is just, this did not happen but they wish that this happened. She was so stinky. And she said, oh dopped in the lift and I couldn't get out. Oh, okay, look, look, we... Now, I had assumed at the start of this letter because it's a long-held policy on this show that I will not review the material before I start reading it.
Starting point is 00:13:58 But my assumption from the start of this was, how do I handle this relationship with a co-worker, as in, how do I get this person to stop ripping ass in in our the their their their their their their their their their their in in their their their their their their their their their their their their-worker, as in, how do I get this person to stop ripping ass in our cubicle or whatever, you know? Instead we've taken a turn here, she'll often say stuff like, that was like a carhorn, or that's a real stinker, complimenting the sound and smell of her flatulence. As far as I can tell, she only does this when I'm around. Is this a sign she might be interested in me? I am not sure and I'd hate to
Starting point is 00:14:31 misinterpret anything. This is a fantasy. This is a detailed fantasy. Does she want a far on me? Also she looked like my mom's friend. She looked like my mom's friend. She looked like my mom's friend who would come around after school sometimes. Every now and then mom would have to go out to get something and we'd be all alone. But she'd talk to me like a grown-up, you know? And every now and then, she'd rip an absolute pearl, you know. And oddly enough, I've been fixated on this ever since.
Starting point is 00:15:07 Oh man. This was written by someone who not only I don't think did this happen to them and they're jacking off to it, I don't think that they have a job. No, they don't have one at all. Like no one with a job works in a cubicle. That's from the 1990s. Yeah, that's some office space shit. Do people have cubicles anymore? Did those exist? So, Lucy, are you coming down on the side of this did not happen? 100% but they wish it would. 100% but they wish it did.
Starting point is 00:15:39 This did not happen, but this person is very horny. You can imagine what it'd be like if it did. Yeah. Something did happen once this has been written. Unfortunately, I'm concerned that we're playing into this Sicko's fantasy by being like, and then it's getting read in a podcast. Oh, they're going to read the words that I said and somehow make it more real. That guy's filthy. That I got farted around. I do commend the sort of, I commend the detailedness of the fantasy so that the that the sort of like
Starting point is 00:16:13 the the fart smell fetish can be transplanted onto what appears to be a polite company message board where people are like my my girlfriend never, you know, never closes her, never closes her wardrobe. Is it a legal kill? You know, it's like the normal stuff like that. And this guy's here being like, yeah, what about the fart co-worker, huh? Let's everyone take that seriously. She was really stinky though. I, now in fairness to this letter, this person did not say at any point That they work in a cubicle that was one of my imaginings so they could work say they could work say in an Amazon warehouse Or anything but I do not have a job he said cubicle I? But I think I think that where it takes the turn to unbelievable is um we go from she farted I laughed because I thought it was I thought I? I? I thought because I think think, I th, I th, I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that was that was th was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi takes the turn to unbelievable is we go from, she farted. I laughed because I thought it wasn't a fart.
Starting point is 00:17:11 And then she was like, oh, this dude's in the farts. Then we immediately take a turn into, then she really wanted me to hear the farts, and she was talking about how much the fart smelled and how the smell was good actually. And I have interpreted this as she is in fact horny for me. Yeah. I mean taking if we're taking a very, very charitable interpretation that this is real, I think that's safe to say. That she is, yeah, for sure. That she noticed the thing thatthat like that's like a bit neggy but a bit kind of like You know self-deprecating and now she's repeating it to try and get the same results again Like hitting the hitting the dopamine button, but on you spread some James Joyce letters and she's like guys love Futs. I want that for me. I just want to look the way that the way that to get the sort of inventor of literary thur modern thur modern thu modern thu modern th th th th thu modern th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the of the- the-a. the. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the. the the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to look, the way that to get the sort of inventor of literary modernism is
Starting point is 00:18:07 you gotta give yourself a little ab massage every morning to really get the, get things working. You know what? If you're lucky enough to be lactose intolerant, then you can have milk with your cereal and like the man of your dreams will waft over on your stink lines like a classic hobo. Also, if you would like that to happen to you, you could also try being Theo's son. Yeah. And you will get your legs lifted up and your tummy rubbed, your legs bicycled, you know,
Starting point is 00:18:35 until you do some tremendous farts. Yeah, till that thing sings. So try that out, you know. Yeah, I got some, I got some gassy boys. I'm just... We feed them the bare boys. Milk. Milk, huh? Standard issue. Now, Theo, speaking of milk, Theo, speaking of milk, when you're feeding milk to a baby,
Starting point is 00:18:59 that's what I would consider pretty normal. However, sometimes you can take milk right out of the context in which you're familiar with, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, thi, we thi, we they, we they they they they the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, milk, the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, theateateateateateateateat, theat, theat, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their, their, the can take milk right out of the context in which you're familiar with and it suddenly becomes a mystery liquid. Mystery liquid can't tell what color it is with a slick oily sheen. What could it mean? Mystery liquid I see some goop that is forming a pool on the floor. Who is it for? I'm gonna taste the mystery liquid. I'm gonna taste the mystery liquid.
Starting point is 00:19:39 Mystery liquid. This is where we gingerly dip our index finger into strange liquids that we find around the place. Give it a little sniff and if it's not too bad, maybe just a tou toubic-avalanche tongue. It's a little taste. How else are you going to identify something like that, you know? I'd like to see you do it. This comes to us from the Lubbock Avalanche Journal. And I'm, I gotta be honest, I'm a little, I'm a little perplexed by the, by the name of this paper.
Starting point is 00:20:13 It is. Yeah. So Lubbock is a place in Texas, I believe, right? Like, like the, like the chicks song, Lubbock or leave it, you know? I haven't heard it. Uh, but then the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the name the, uh, like the chicks song, Lubbock or Leave It, you know? Haven't heard it. But then the name of the paper is the Avalanche hyphen Journal. It's like a, it's a newspaper and it's an Avalanche. It could be, you know? Evolance Journal, you're a fan of the Colorado Avalanx. Well, you know, you know, when they call something like a, yeah, they call something like a, like a herald journal or a morning herald, you know, that kind of thing. Those are things where you're like, okay, I get it.
Starting point is 00:20:51 You're giving me news in the morning. Are you giving us a deluge of news? See, I'm going to be honest with you. I thought this was an academic journal. The University of Lubbock, Texexexexexex Tex, Tex tex th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, tho, tho, tho, th, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th, th, th, th, journal, the University of Lubbock, Texas, Journal of Avalanches. I would believe that that's a thing that exists. Also, I know I only cleared one question. I'd like to ask a second, I haven't asked my one question yet. I would like to double that to a second question that's coming to my mind now.
Starting point is 00:21:17 Okay. We reserve the right to censor this question if we're not happy about it. Do you have like a bunch of Google Alerts set up for like in quote marks gross liquid, awful liquid, yucky fluid and stuff like this? As far as I understand it, Ben has a series of Google Alerts set up for all kinds of things. There's big foot related things, there's liquid related things. Wow. He's got a lot of Google alerts going on that he fissures through. To find us the most obscure and inconsequential news that we can hope to hear. So this comes to us from the perplexingly named Lubbock Avalanche Journal. Lubbock Police respond to video of officer leaving Mystery Liquid on DJ's door.
Starting point is 00:22:07 It's probably Pierce, right? Well, my immediate thought... Oh, never mind. My immediate thought is, um, when I used to have housemates instead of living with my wife and children, um, one day, my cat jumped up on his desk, and she did something that I've never seen before and never seen again. She jumped up on his desk and immediately shot like a thimble worth of just like coke like liquid from her like her like asshole pussy rea-yeah. Yeah just from her from her cat cloake area. And my coke you mean diarrhea? Yeah, just... from her cat-cloak, a-
Starting point is 00:22:46 And my coke, you mean diarrhea? No, I don't. Because coke is like shorthand? No, no, no, I mean like, I mean like a syrupy brown kind of mystery liquid. Like, like you poured some coke into a saucepan and cooked it down a bit. Yes, yeah, reduced coke. Okay. We're talking a coke roo. Coke shoe? The coke reduction. And yeah, I've never seen it before in all my years of cat ownership and I've never seen
Starting point is 00:23:15 it since. And I reckon that that cop pulled his pants down, got his old clawaker ready primed and fired a little bit of cop reduction zoo onto the... Okay, okay because we are going to get a bit of additional information about it. Oh okay that wasn't it. Well I'm look I'm not saying it was or it wasn't from the cop, right? Lot of police on Wednesday explained an officer's role in leaving a mysterious bag of unknown, quote, opaque white liquid, end quote, on a radio DJ's apartment door.
Starting point is 00:23:55 That sounds like he's shooting ropes on this dude's door, right? Yeah. I don't think I can name another opaque white liquid. Yeah, I mean. I can lose icing, like if you don't think I can name another opaque white liquid. Yeah. I mean. I can lose icing. Like if you don't put enough sugar in icing. If you watered down some like PVC wood glue maybe. What's the fucking thing you put between the layers and lasagna. Like a Beshamel.
Starting point is 00:24:21 Like, he was like, I'm like, maybe he's like, I'm gonna make you. Mr. D.J, thank you very much. Um, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I'm, th. I, th. I'm, th. I'm, like, like, like, like He's like, I'm, like, maybe he's like, I'm gonna make you, Mr. D.J, thank you very much, you know, for playing whatever the music is now. For playing my favorite song four times in a row. Coprock. Thank you for playing the entire soundtrack of Coprock. I also know that you're gluten intolerant, allergic to tomatoes, vegetarian, and so on. So I've made you all of the elements of a lasagna you can eat, please accept this bag of bechamel, and thank you. Yes, I've got this week you're getting a bag of bechamel, next week a nice bag of red sauce. You know, next week some blanched sheets of lasagna.
Starting point is 00:25:05 Got your lasagna subscription. Yeah, you're sub-structuring. You financed a lasagna and you're getting it in parts. You did... Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I can't wait till the end of the month when I can assemble my lasagna. Yeah, then pass the DLC.
Starting point is 00:25:25 Oh, this is a business model. No, noodles just drops. We could do, Riley, do you think we could get VC funding for subscription dinner? Well, I mean, if you don't mind me going T.F. for a second. In Britain, that has sort of happened where our version of you guys have a after pay right like that's big in Australia oh yeah yeah yeah or whatever these services are called like buy now pay later so the big European one Klarna has is now in partnership with like our main food
Starting point is 00:25:59 delivery app so you can finance like a curry oh yeah that's that's that that has happened here already where you can if you're at the pub, you can go to the pub and buy like a beer or a serve of chips and afterpay it. It is. It is. That seems like it would catch up with people. It's not good. Like it's not good. No, but here's the thing Lucy. Here's what you don't understand, right? With your simple-minded millennial viewpoint. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It, you, you, you thi-you. You thi-you-you-you-you-you-you-you-you-you-you-you-you-you-you-uuuui-ui-ui-ui-a-ui-ui-u-u-u-a-u-a-u that that thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that th. th. th-a-nipipe-a-a-a-ni-s thi-s. thi-s. tho-upup tha-up tha-up tha-up tha-up tha-a-up tha tha tha-a-a-up that's tha-up tha- but here's the thing, Lucy. Here's what you don't understand, right, with your simple-minded, millennial viewpoint. You don't understand. It used to be really bad when people took out all these credit cards and they ran up a whole bunch of personal debt, right? But the young people today, they understand that that's not a good thing to do. They've cut up all their credit cards. No more credit cards, just after pay and zip and hum and the other 90 services like this. That people can spread all
Starting point is 00:26:56 their payments between but they don't have a credit card so. Biff, Pow, Splon, BAP and so on and so forth. But we can get this on like a like a 5.5% equivalent rate You can have a cop deliver some come to your door Yeah, what a world we live in What a world we live in? Hey, so cop cum come in yet? Don't even talk to me till I've had my cop come up. 10 bucks a month going up to me till I've had my cop cum. Ten bucks a month.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Going up to $15. Oh God, you gotta send in like, only 90s kids will remember how you had to send in a hundred proof of purchases and then wait eight weeks to get the bag of Cobcom Bashamel. Pulling up to the, uh, pulling up to the uh, pulling up to the Starbucks window. I want a hazelnut mocha, two pumps of cop cum. Just one pump for me. I don't want it too sweet. Well, Starbucks hack.
Starting point is 00:27:53 You know, actually, if you, if you order a double fat tall gronday with two pumps. of cumpet and tasks basically the same, it's a Starbucks hack. with two pumps of cop-com. It's actually 40 cents cheaper than a pumpkin spice latte and tastes basically the same. It's a Starbucks hack, a lot of people know about it. Yeah, look just ask for all of these things. I call that one the thin white line. The thin opaque line. So police on Wednesday released a brief statement after a video began trending in the Lubbock area showing an officer tape the sandwich-sized bag of liquid on a local radio personality's apartment door Tuesday evening, acknowledging that the officer
Starting point is 00:28:33 acted outside of standard protocol in trying to tape it. Yeah you're not supposed to tape it. It's you have glue for a reason. Acknowledging that the officer acted outside of standard protocol and trying to assist a citizen who the the the the the the the ss the ss the ss the ss the ss the ss the sa the sa the sa the sa the sa the sa the sa the sa the sa the the the the the thiage ta ta ta ta the the ta ta ta tape tape tape tape tape tape tape tape tape tape tape tape the the the the the the the tape the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the saa ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. for a reason. Acknowledging that the officer acted outside of standard protocol and trying to assist a citizen who suspected he was the subject of a prank. Uh, I just thought that cops were usually trying to collect DNA samples, you know, not handing him out to the community. Wait, wait, sorry. He said he was trying to assist a citizen who thought he was the suspect of a prank, like was this person the suspect of a radio phone, like a radio prank and then like the cop was like, all right, we're going to get this guy. So let's find out here. According to a statement from LPD,
Starting point is 00:29:16 dispatch received a check-subject ate at 737 PM Tuesday at an apartment complex in the 5200 block of Bangor Avenue. The reporting party stated an unknown substance described as a, quote, opaque white liquid that appeared to be milk in a bag had been taken to their door, possibly by a neighbor, according to police. The neighborhood requested the bag be given to an unknown person who lived nearby and whom the reporting party suspected was responsible for leaving the bag. A police officer responded and attempted to return the bag to the neighbor but did not get an answer at the door. The bag was left on the door.
Starting point is 00:29:53 The bag was left on the door. This occurred around 1046 PM. So the cops responded to a call about the come on the door and then they said, I think my neighbor did this and then the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop the cop. the cop. the cop. the cop. the cop. to the cop. to to to to to to to to to to to to to told. the cop tried told. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their.. the police. the police.. the police. the police. the police. the police. the police. the police. So. So, the police. the police. the police. the police. the police. the police. the cop. the cop. the cop. tap. tape. took. the tape. the the. the the. the. to. to. to. to. to. they said the I think my neighbor did this and then the cop tried to take it to the neighbor and then the cop tried to tap it to the door. Yeah, put it on. Can you return this bag of come to my neighbor? Yeah. I assume they're gonna want it. Yeah. No one answered theory actually, which is that this isn't come at all, that it's actually milk and there's maybe like a Canadian family in Lubbock. They got that Canadian milk. Yeah, because Canadians obviously, I don't know if you know this, Canadian milk comes in bags.
Starting point is 00:30:40 Oh yeah. That's the most fucked up thing I've ever heard. You drop off your handful of loonies and you take your bag of milk home with you. Oh my god! What? Unfortunately, I mean, yeah, a bag of milk is a handful of loonies now, but yeah, milk comes in bags in Canada. That's just like straight up like a, like an ice bag. They've got... How do you guys buy ice in Canada? How do you buy ice in Canada? All right, I guess, I guess it's time for fucking school.
Starting point is 00:31:09 Well, a carton, obviously. Did you say a cotton of ice? What the fuck is happening over there? No, ice also comes. Ice also. It's, you get your bag of ice, your bag of milk, your bag of milk, you make a light rushing. No, milk genuinely does come in bags, ice also comes in bags. I like the jug that you get to put your bag of milk in and then you snip the corner, you know? This is... Okay, so you do understand this then? I will. I will. So you pour it in a jug. No, no, no, no. You put the bag of milk into the jug hole and then you snip the corner of the thing and then you just tip the jug with the bag in it. Yeah, the jug gets gross also just so you know. Of course it does. Like the jug gets awful.
Starting point is 00:31:58 What is going on with Canada? Hey Theo, you know how you buy a bottle of milk and then you use it and you throw away the bottle? Yeah. What if you just kept the bottle forever? What if you kept it? Just keep filling it up with new milk. Yeah, again, you don't, you don't fill the jug up with the milk. Andrew was very important to say, you buy like a bag of milk and milk. I'm looking at it. You put those in the fridge. You pull out a bag of milk and then you put it in the... I don't know how
Starting point is 00:32:28 this happened, like which like plastic bag maker had connections to like the government in 1963, but this is how you get milk in Canada. It's not the only way, you can also buy a carton. And I'd like to, I'd hasten to add that when I was, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, to, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, tho, tho, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the,'s not the only way you can also buy a carton and I'd like to I'd hasten to add that when I was we were a carton family when when I was a we lad but you know many of my friends were bag families and you know it's and so whenever I hear a bag of opaque white liquid I was wondering where's this familiar from and of course the guy must be Canadian and they're saying hey take off you hoser go back to Canada to take your bag of common get out of here so it's a hate crime that's what we're talking about it it's a hate crime against a
Starting point is 00:33:14 Canadian that must be what it is like we know your secret your Canadian so how come the how come the jug is fucking standard issue I'm still stuck on this why are the tugs all the same? Do do? do do? do do? Do. do do? Do. do the the the the the the the the they the the they they they the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they'll they'll they'll they they they they they they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're the the th th th th thi ty ty ty ty ty took took took tip took took took took took th thi thi thi they're they're they're they're this why are the jugs all the same? Do you look because the milk bags are all the same but I'll just go milk out it all? But they've all got the same sort of like rippled pattern around them is this? What is it's what conspiracy is is occurring here? I again I couldn't tell you I mean it's not like the milk is cheaper It's not like it's cheaper not in the cart and it's still expensive in the bags. You got to factor in the jug, you know? That's why you've got to make the jug last for like 30 years, you know?
Starting point is 00:33:55 That's why it gets so gross. It's because you have a, because it's not even like you're sort of pouring milk into the container. Any milk that gets into that jug is in there by accident, which means you're not really thinking about it, which means that a layer of accidental milk is allowed to build up at the base of that jug until it gets awful. If you are a Canadian listener who is not a savage and regularly puts your milk jug through the dishwasher, please write into your mail bag at Punta Vista.com and let us know if Riley is actually from a horrendous family. If you're soping, soping up those milk jugs maybe with your hands. We were from a carton family. We never got the bag.
Starting point is 00:34:36 Right. Right. That's good to know. Also maybe they were even cleaner than a bag and jug of family. You know. I think that was the idea, yes. This may not surprise you to know, given that I'm a very pernickety person, but my house was extremely tidy growing up.
Starting point is 00:34:54 And there was never going to be a milk bag in there. It was going to be carton the whole way. Rintz the carton before it went into that kind of very full on gotcha. A Lubbock radio personality known by the DJ name JR, DJJR, later took to social media claiming to be the apartment resident on the receiving end of the bag left by the officer. He shared a doorbell security video of the incident on social media. In a Twitter post he said he called the non-emergency police number and was told the officer believed the bag of
Starting point is 00:35:29 liquid belonged to him. That's bad police work. Generally speaking, like not even if you are on duty as a cop, but if somebody handed you an unidentified bag of white liquid, opaque white liquid and said white liquid, and said, Hey, can you just try to return this to my friend across the way? My answer would be no. No. And then I would just keep walking down to, I don't know, the lone star bar and grill or wherever I'm going in love. You know, I would not say, let me take you work. But I, it's Bar and Grill or wherever I'm going in London. You know? I would not say, let me take your bag.
Starting point is 00:36:09 I would not say, let me take your bag of liquid anthrax, sir, and go and put it in someone else's house. Yeah, like, how far can you take this? This is just a symptom of the loss of social trust in the United States is that a cop's not, is that all of a sudden it's newsworthy if a cop takes, takes a random bag of liquid to you and tapes it to someone's door at your request. Return to the neighbor, you know, very kindly. We used to talk to one enough, you know? This is a bit of bowling alone was about bagging alone. It's so, it's so sad that that neighbors that neighbors that that neighbors that that neighbors that that neighbors that that neighbors that neighbors that neighbors that neighbors that anymore they have to involve the authorities you know. A source told the Lubbock Averlanc Journal that the first
Starting point is 00:36:48 reporting party has been frequently pronked and presumed a neighbor in the nearby apartment was responsible for leaving the bag of liquid. In its statement Wednesday LPD apologized the confusion the video had caused adding that even though the officer had good intentions, it was not the right cause of action. He should have investigated that bagger cum. Yeah. Once again, you dip the finger in. It's right.
Starting point is 00:37:12 Give it a little sniff if the smell isn't too bad. Light touched the tip and the tip. That's your job as a police officer. That's what you signed up to put your body on the thin white line. Now they're like, oh, we can't, we can't even, we're not going to taste the come anymore due to being defunded in Biden's America. They used to do their job. It used to be that you could call up the police and say, hey, ah, this is really weird. I keep getting pranked. My neighbor has parked his anonymous white van, full of van foe in my driveway.
Starting point is 00:37:49 My neighbor also works at the CBD of Oklahoma. Can you just sort of return that to him for me, please? And they'd take your van and they'd drive it down to the federal building and... You know, and they'd be ready to help you out like that. Now... No more? They just... they'd take your van and they'd drive it down to the federal building and... You know, and they'd be ready to help you out like that. Now... Not anymore. They just... Not anymore. Not in Biden's America.
Starting point is 00:38:13 Not even task in the come. They won't do anything. Uh, this article closes out by saying, just like its appearance, the identity of the quote, opaque white substance in the bag, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thand they they they they they'd they'd they'd the, they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd their they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd they'd the quote opaque white substance in the bag remained unclear Wednesday evening. I think if it was milk one of the neighbors or whatever would say oh it's milk. Is milk. You know and I guess we've also kind of established that nobody actually nobody is claiming to be the originator of the bag right? Really we've got a neighbor who's like, I got this bag of cum-looking stuff, a cop who is like, oh, can I help you with your come, sir? And somebody else who's like, that's not my cum. I think something else is going on.
Starting point is 00:38:58 They should all have to, all three of them should have to produce some opaque, white liquid. Yes. And look look the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- thi thi tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- thoom thoombu tho- tho- tho- tho-n. tho-n. tho-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n. tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the thee thea thea thea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'ea'eateateat at the like opacity, you know how there's like varying opacity. Hmm. Figure out who it is. Easy, line up. Yeah, get a cum line up. I'd know that come anywhere. Yeah, I've seen that come.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Uh, suspect number five, please fire your ropes. Hello, it's me, Ben, from this podcast. Marian Webster defines a podcast as a program made available in digital format for automatic download over the internet, and that simply could not be more true. If you like what we do and want more of this podcast made available to you in digital format for automatic download over the internet, simply go to Patreon.com. S. Bonavista and hit the enormous red button that says subscribe. For five US dollars a month you get access to our weekly bonus episodes, our entire archive of bonus episodes, our exclusive discord server and an RSS feed of both the bonus
Starting point is 00:39:58 episodes and free episode that doesn't have these ads in them. That sweet, sweet subscriber cash allows me to the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to to their, to their, to th, to thi, thi, thi, to to thi, to to to to to to to tho, tho, thiolk, to, to, to, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, is, and, is, is, and, is, and, is, is, and, and, is, and, and, and, and, and, thi........... And, thi. And, thi. We. And, thi. We. We. We'll, t t t t t t t tttttttto.a.au.au.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. And, t t t t t t them. That sweet, sweet subscriber cash allows me to do this show full-time without having to get a real job, and frankly, that whips to me. The other guys also get some money or whatever, but I don't really care. Anyway, check that out if it sounds good to you. Love you. Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear. Folks, some of the things that come out of the human body are truly mysteries, you know, mystery liquids and everything. Sometimes the things that go into the body are mysteries. And we're going to delve into that a little in this week's edition of our mail bag. 1,803175, that's the Boltonista hotline. 1,803, 1,000, 1,000, 5, that's the bolterto Vista hotline. One, eight hundred, three, one, seven, five, one, five, that's the Boltervista hotline. You can send us an email.
Starting point is 00:40:53 Mail back at Bultivista.com, maybe DM us on Twitter. You could even message Facebook. We don't really check the Facebook, yeah. Eight hundred, three, one, seven, five, one five, that's the Bolivistar. That's that's that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the Bont, the Bont, that's the Bont, that's the Bont, the Bont, the Bont, that's the Bont, that's the Bont, that's the Bont, 5 515 that's the Bunchervista hotline 1803175 that's the Punta Vista hotline now two bits of information to preface this with one is for Riley's benefit and that is that on a recent episode, Thank you. You're welcome.
Starting point is 00:41:30 On a recent episode with beloved friend of the show, Max Laverne, please listen to The Horse and the Rider, where podcasts are available to you. On a recent episode, we were discussing how not delicate surgeons are when performing surgery on people. I was making wild claims like they just shoved their hand in there and jiggle it around, or they pull out all your guts and put them in a bucket, you know. Ben then implored any doctors who listen to the show, because we know there's a few, to write in if they would care to validate or invalidate my wild claims. So there's
Starting point is 00:42:10 your context Riley and additionally maybe a little content warning for if you are not a fan of hearing about surgery maybe skip ahead by a couple of minutes. I think it's yucky but I'm gonna press on. Well you are very brave you are a podcasting. It's not an audio medium, but you will see me somehow getting whiter through the... It is an audio medium. It's not a visual medium. Whatever. It's true. This comes to us from listener Sam. Dear Buntus Vista, R-E, surgery. First, you'd be surprised by how many nooks and crannies there are in an
Starting point is 00:42:45 abdomen. There's actually quite a lot of stuff in there, and it forms all these layers. One of my favorite layers is called the omentum, which is a big sheet-like fold of mostly fatty tissue that overlies all the intestines. If you are doing open abdominal surgery, known as a labyrinthe. The-obey. The-T-o, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. thr-in. the th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. R. ttttttttttte. tttte. ttte. ttte. ttte. thae. tha. tha. t is usually the first layer you encounter, and if someone is stabbed in the abdomen, you can sometimes see a bit of this tissue poking out. In cases of serious infection, such as a burst appendix, the omentombant can somehow crawl over to the site and try to wall it off in an attempt to prevent the spread of bacteria and fecal thrown throughout the abdomen. That's pretty cool. The's th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. In thi. thi. thi. In thi. In thi. In thi. In thi. In, thi. In, thi. In, thi. In, thi. In, thi. In, thi. In, tha. In, tha. In, tha. In, tha. In, tha. In, tha. In, tha. In, tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thau. thau. thau. thau. thau. thea. thau. thau. thau. thau. thau. thau. thau. thau. thae.'s pretty cool. There's so much fucked up stuff going on in there. There's little towns, you know? Not my business. Anyway, if you're doing a laparotomy, you often just lift the momentum out of the way, which sort of involves placing it and the large intestine to which it attaches on the patient's chest.
Starting point is 00:43:40 What? What? What the fuck? This feels like it's from sort of surgery from a previous era, right? Yeah. This is my point though, is that you would think that they'd need to be, they'd be, they'd be delicate and they'd be finessing stuff. But what they do is they cut a big hole in and they yank all your shit out. Chuck it in th th thu thu th fucked up to me that like the thought that there is like layers and stuff like a lasagna in there. They're just like deconstructed because to me, the inside of your body is obviously bones.
Starting point is 00:44:17 You've got the organs and the wet bits and then it's just like a contiguous sort of like red substance up until the skin. A lasagna, a bodily lasagna. But yeah, you can't just be like fucking be- And this is the beige-mouse. It does sound like he's talking about the veshimal layer. The body beige mout. So he says he has not himself seen the big red came out of a bucket approach to extra corporeally organizing the visceral organs, and what I was talking about there was basically picking all your intestines up
Starting point is 00:44:48 and out and putting them in another dish. He continues, but it would make some sense, especially if you needed to access some organs behind all the intestines, such as the kidneys or pancreas. Interestingly, the limiting factor of the incision size you use is actually the biggest thing you're hoping to put in or pull out of the abdomen. It's all well and good to remove a gallbladder, but if the hole in the abdomen is too small to extract it, you've got a problem. One runs into a similar problem when trying to pull out a liver, or sorry, when trying to put a liver in or pull a baby out. In ter tas. the t's a pretty rare event, but it does still happen. Most commonly, it's a surgical sponge or similar.
Starting point is 00:45:28 These sponges are actually manufactured with a material that shows up on x-ray, to make identification and retrieval of them easier. More rare are other surgical instruments, such as clamps. This is obviously not ideal, but imagine the circumstances under which this may occur. Emergency trauma surgery, for instance, where a lacerated, inferior vena cavava can produce blood loss into the open abdomen so brisk it sounds like a babbling stream. No, don't we?
Starting point is 00:45:53 No, no, thank you. The ababling stream is a pretty huge amount, by a body standard. Um, I'm, this is one of those things that I'm absolutely sure I have told the story about on the podcast before, but once I punched a hole through the layer of muscle and skin in the front of my shin, and I could see the, I'm just gonna take my headphones off while you talk about this. And I could see, I could see blood coming out like in big gouts with the pace of the pulse and it took I would say five to ten seconds to fill my shoe. Yeah yeah so you know you
Starting point is 00:46:32 have you have told that story before and it's fun every time. You've been you've been so injured. I've never been that injured. That's pretty good ones. I did see a post today where somebody was talking about what's the worst pain you've ever experienced and I saw you commenting on that Theo but mine was probably when I when my appendix was just about the burst last year or whenever it was. I was thinking or talking to someone about this recently and thinking about how like it's a very, very different sensation from, you know, I've had third degree burns and broken bones and large lacerations and big puncture wounds and I've been bit by dogs.
Starting point is 00:47:18 Nothing's happened in a while, to be fair. Except for my appendix deciding to just about explode. And it's a really different vibe from getting, I guess, what is a relatively superficial injury to the outside of you, versus your body sending you a bunch of signals that are like, you're going to die. You're going to die if nothing happens about this thing that's going on. I don't like it. You're going to need to have to to to to to to to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have a look to have to have a look to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have a look to have a look to have a look to have a look look about this thing that's going on in there, Bernard,
Starting point is 00:47:46 I don't like it. You're gonna need to have a look. You're gonna need somebody to check that out. By the way, it's on the inside. We're talking about a lacerated inferior venicava producing blood loss into the open abdomen, so brisk it sounds like a bubbling stream. And the only thing preventing the patients from from from the patient patient patient patient patient patient the patient the patient the patient the patient the open abdomen so brisket sounds like a bubbling stream and the only thing preventing the patient from ex-sanguination is direct pressure by a surgeon's hand and multiple surgical sponges. It's not impossible for something to slip
Starting point is 00:48:11 out of view and disappear between the intestines or into the pelvis. There are many surgical procedures that require a great deal of finesse. Neurosurgery comes to mind although the delicacy of operating within the cranium is sort of offset by the brutal the brutal the brutal the brutal the brutal the brutal the brutal the brutal the brutal operating within the cranium is sort of offset by the brutal power drill and band-sore approach required to actually get inside the skull. I feel like it would be harder to lose something in inside some scull though, right? It's less mushy, there's not so much cavities. It's not so much cavities. It's like, the thinn't the brain crevice. Yeah, you've got like the thinking shock creed in there. I don't think it's, I don't imagine that they get to the end of surgery and go, huh?
Starting point is 00:48:52 Would you look at that? I've sewed my foot inside his brain. Hey, I thought I was can hear one of them. So there are things that require finesse, but it is true that many things take more force than you'd think. The self-professed jocks of the medical world, orthopedic surgeons, are especially notorious here. No. No. Carpentry tools work exactly the same on the human body, but bones.
Starting point is 00:49:22 You hear that, people intending to build houses but wanting to save on spaking wood places? You're gonna want this house to last, though. You're gonna wanna pay a little extra for the bone. Yeah. Splashed out for the bone, but you know, it's worth it. Oh, shit, you got bone? Walking into someone's house and running your hand over the kitchen counter, is this
Starting point is 00:49:46 bone? Yeah, it's actually a 70-30 bone bamboo mix. Google intermedullary nail removal if interested and not feeling squabish. I won't. I can tell you I will not be doing it. Oh, I watched like 20 minutes of that shit the other night. I know, I saw the thumbnail is enough. Even. Even th. th. th. th. thi thi's thi's thi. thi's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi. thi's thi's thi. thi's thi's thi, I's thi, it's thi's thi, it's thi, it's th. that's that's that's th. th. th. It's th. It's th. th. It's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's the. the. the. theateateateateateateateateateateat theateat's thumbnail. Even the thumbnail's enough. So look this is gonna sound bad when I say it like this right but in this video they were operating on an 87 year old lady who had been blasted by a car right so except she'd been blasted by a car three years prior. So as a
Starting point is 00:50:29 as a pedestrian, right, somebody had hit an 87-year-old woman and just exploded her fibias and tibias and such. And so they had bolted them back together with like steel rods and these intermedullery nails. I have no idea if I'm saying that correctly. But the operation that they were doing three years later was that some of the nails had broken and they have to get them back out and replace them. No. And in this video they were talking about a, getting in and like pulling out these fuken metal screws that are going through this rod and your bone and stuff.. I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th right right right right right right right right right right. I th. I th. I th right right right right in and like pulling out these fucking metal screws that are going through this rod and your bone and stuff but there was a section of the video that was like what to do if the screw has a stripped head
Starting point is 00:51:14 and they were like you got to get something clamped on to it and then they have this long long metal rod with like a big bulbous head and then they they backslap that so they they hit up and away from the leg to like pull the screw out of it without being able to unscrew it. And the whole time I'm like, that's somebody's old nana over there that you've got with their floppy legs and such. I Cannot even begin to comprehend what the recovery for something like that would be like at that age, but the the trauma looked Absolutely out of control. Hope this was interesting and I was chuffed to get called out on the pod
Starting point is 00:52:01 Bizzoo Sam And get this get this everybody, we get to play our favorite, breaking news, Stinger. Wow. And scrambled eggs on toast and coffee out of the orange mug. While we are in the middle of recording this very podcast, I have received another letter from another doctor. This comes to us from Tom, who the of recording this very podcast, I have received another letter from another doctor. This comes to us from Tom who writes, hi, Bunts.
Starting point is 00:52:30 I'm a fresh young doctor, finishing up my first year. Pornhub category. Really? Can any fresh young doctors then? I'm a fresh young doctor finishing up my first year of practice. Just sending through some insights on episode 270 wherein Andrew mentioned some stories from his mother's work in operating theaters. I'm gonna again point point out that it's fucked up that smart people
Starting point is 00:52:56 listen to this show. We've got like some of the smartest listeners out there like you know people doing like PhDs or like post grads in like quantum mechanics and New York Times best-selling author motherfucker doctors surgeons yeah and this is mostly about you know a bit of come getting getting tapes for someone's door well I'll put this to you everybody wants to turn their brain off in their downtime, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Just what I want to hear someone stupid than them talk for a while?
Starting point is 00:53:32 You're about come? Hey, you guys heard about come? Well, I was just reading about Channel 7's new flagship TV show in which they are going to pit different balloon artists against each other. So, you know, something for everyone. We to to to to to to to th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th? You th. You th. You th. You th. You want that's that's th. You want that's that's that's that's that's th. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah? I th. Yeah? I th. Yeah? I th. Yeah? I th. I th. I th. It's that's th. It's th. It's th. It's that? What thaten wa? What thoananananananananananananananan woananananananananan't that's that's that's that's thathea? pit different balloon artists against each other. So you know something for everyone. We have to get into this. I mean just leave that one alone. Number one everything Andrew says is absolutely true. God I love being vindicated. Probably in general. They did not say they didn't say that. Hey Andrew can I see the letter? Absolutely I'm gonna I'm gonna
Starting point is 00:54:04 forward it on to you guys I'm reading it from my phone to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th to th to to get to get to tho to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get into to get into to get into to get into to get into to get into to get into to get into to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. the thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. to letter? Absolutely. I'm going to forward it on to you guys. I'm reading it from my phone right now. Looks at it. It looks like a note. Looks like you said to yourself. That's it. That's the notes app. It looks like you're sent to a screenshot, a screenshot of a Microsoft word. Number two. We don't use a red bucket thoom thoom thoom tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. I tho. thi the. I'm tho-a tho tho tho tho tho tho th. I thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I tho tho. I tho. I tho. I the. I the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm to to to the. to to to to to in general, but certainly in regards to these stories.
Starting point is 00:54:25 Thank you, Tom. Number two, we don't use a red bucket for concreting. We use an arguably cheaper looking plastic bucket that gets thrown out afterwards because medicine is extremely wasteful. Three, Max's joke about filling the person with compressed air is actually the truth. In laproscopic surgery, we need the light from the camera, but also space to work. So through one of the holes, we fill the abdomen
Starting point is 00:54:49 with non-flammable gas to give us some room to work. Oh, inflates you, it makes you big and round. Yeah, what if they filled it? What if they filled you with hydrogen? Imagine. That's how I want to go. The fun part of this is that once we take the instruments out of the abdomen, once we take the instruments out, the abdomen deflates through the holes like a big whoopi cushion and makes very funny sound. It's doing the fucking, the bender thing.
Starting point is 00:55:20 Finally, point number four, Theo Skyroom came out in 2011, not 2012. God damn. Wow. We do have the smartest people listening. Well, Theo, I suppose that's the end of you on the show. Yeah. You're done. He's done.
Starting point is 00:55:38 He can never come back from that. Canceled. There's no point anymore, you know. No zap apology. back from that. Cancelled. There's no point. There's no point anymore, you know? No, it's apopology. Do you think Canadian doctors keep all the guts and stuff in a bag? They put in a jug. Put in a jug. And then they tape it to the doors of their friends and enemies. So that just about brings us to the end of the show. But I believe that Riley had another question. As though he were the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their api api apie. Do their apie. Do their apie their apie apie thapy. Do thape apie apoape apoape apoape apoape apoape apoape apoape apoape apoape apo. Do apology. Do apology. Doape apy. Doape ap. Do. Doape ap. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do th. They th. They were th. They were th. They were th. They were th. They were th. They were th. They were their th. They were their their their their their their th. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. They're they. They're they. They they. They th. They're they. They're th about brings us to the end of the show, but I believe that Riley had another question. As though he were a scientist peering at some interesting chimps through a paint of glass, had some questions for the Australians before he drags his ass over here. What is your question, yeah? So okay my question is, okay, look at at the beginning of the beginning of the episode,
Starting point is 00:56:27 several of you opened beers. Andrew, you in particular opened a relatively high percentage, sorry to reveal to everyone that you've been drinking a strong beer, IPA, and I wanted to know if Australia has also has the you might say trend in beer consumption where you have strong IPAs with sort of aggressive names. Oh like you know hell spike IPA and it's 9% and it tastes like you're licking a railroad track. You bet your ass we do. Oh, I can't believe I'm traveling for 24 hours in an airplane to go somewhere that's
Starting point is 00:57:14 exactly as annoying as where we live in the same way. In fairness, there will be a great many other choices of beer for you. I just drank a cactus-based beer before I came here. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, thi. the the the th you thi-I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th you. You. You th you. You. You. You. You th. You th. You the th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You're thi. thi. thi. teeat-I teat-I tea tria tea. tea. tea. theateat-I thi-I thi- of beer for you. I believe I just... Well, I've actually... I just drank a cactus-based beer before I came here. Okay. Well, thank goodness. But I'm looking for mostly wine. I'm looking for mostly wine.
Starting point is 00:57:34 I'm looking for most wine. I don't really drink much beer. I don't really have a wonderful time. I'm mostly looking for wine. I like sort of very powerful reds, so like I'm really looking forward to this hurrah. You're going to have a great time. And it won't cost the earth. I'm looking forward. I'm looking forward to, Milo, my co-host from Trashfuture, has, I believe he has, and he didn't buy this, I believe it sort of was just left at his place, a special suitcase for transporting wine. That's such a Milo thing to have. It's actually more of a me thing to have, but it was left to him at his house.
Starting point is 00:58:15 And so now he, like just by I believe in X. And so I want to bring the special wine suitcase to Australia when I go to Australia for the tour, which I'm going to plug again, and then bring home, because you can bring 30 bottles of wine into the UK per person. Really? Yeah, you can bring a huge... Because we only recently developed a domestic wine industry that's worth a dam, and so I don't think that we sort of have tariffs set up to protect it. Amazing. Which means that you can really bring some wine back, which I intend to do. Well, I will 100% sort you out with quality Australian wines. Oh, thank you very much. I'd be interested in some stuff from the Margaret River area.
Starting point is 00:58:58 And possibly the Barrasa Val. You want that Mara. I'd like to look at a bottle of Penfolds and then say one day. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, to to that to that that that to that that that to that to that that to that to that that to to that to to to to to to to to to that to that to that to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooke. I toe. I the. I the. I the. I the. I will the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. toea. I woeroeroe. I will toe. I will that Barrosa. You want that McLaren-Vall. I'd like to look at a bottle of penfolds and then say one day. You can have some penfolds. You can get the cheap one. It depends on what being you're pulling from. That's right. Sorry, okay. I'd like to look at a bottle of penfolds grange hermitage and then say one day. Yes, I believe that answers the question appropriately and we will absolutely hook you up with a range of wines. Thank you. And by the way, thank you for allowing me an extra question.
Starting point is 00:59:35 I know that you guys don't usually do that with your guests. No. We don't like... If somebody tries to ask one question, we usually just all screen pretty much until they hang up. Yeah. You don't hear that. We cut that out. We happen because of that. We don't make it clear to people beforehand. Just because the guest says something like, hey, can you hear me? What the fuck? What did you just fucking say? What? You're here to listen, you know?
Starting point is 01:00:08 That's our vibe. So as discussed earlier, we hear from Buntavista, minus Lucy, because it's her birthday month, and that's a woman's right. It's actually my birthday tomorrow. So it's allowed for me to not be in gimpy on my birthday tomorrow, so... It's allowed for me to not be in Gimpy on my birthday. That's our gift to you. So we the lads will be in Gimpy at the Heart of Gold Film Festival as some type of side show. I believe some of our listeners will probably be driving up from Brisbane.
Starting point is 01:00:43 We're looking forward to seeing you. It's probably too late to organize a flight from Perth, you know, just to check that out. But there is plenty of time for you to book tickets to the Sydney and Canber Shows of the Trash future Australian tour. I will be at the Camber Show. There is another Melbourne show that has been added that is Britonology and that is thine thine thine thine thine that is thine thine that is thine thine thine that is thine thine thine tho- tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to be to be to be to be to be too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the to be their. to be the to be to be to to to the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the at the Camber Show. There is another Melbourne show that has been added that is Britonology and that is going to be Nate and Milo with the guys from Sands Pants Radio. There we go. So we will put links to all of those things in the show nights so that you can easily locate tickets to the Sydney show or the Melbourne Britonology Show, and catch these guys on their first of what I'm sure will be,
Starting point is 01:01:31 you know, many biannual Australian tours. Oh yeah, for sure. This hasn't been a gigantic pain in the ass. Not at all. Well, it'd be so cheap to do. Milo, tried to like figure out our tax situation and he called the Australian Tax Office and just with the question of,
Starting point is 01:01:53 hey, do we have to pay tax on the following earnings, and furthermore how? And the woman on the other end of the phone was just like, ah to know that. Probably fine. Great, just don't, just don't. It's not a problem. Thank you for tolerating my Australian accent. I promise not to do it on stage at the Australian live shows. You probably will. There we go folks. November the 10th. I want Milo will. November the 10th in Sydney, November the 15th in Cambron. We will have those links in the show notes. Please if you are in those cities or near near nearby. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the to. I to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the th. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the 15th in Canberra. We will have those links in the show notes.
Starting point is 01:02:25 Please, if you are in those cities or even nearby and willing to take a little drive, come and check it out. Do you have a nice bottle of wine for me? I'll drink it. Get excited to watch Riley do that like, to do that like pangs-eye thing of of whirlpooling a bottle just just pulling out the cork and upturning an entire bottle to to to to to to to to the to the to the to the the thi the the the the thi the the thi thi the the the thi the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the cities the the cities the the the the the the cities the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the city city cityyliysysysiysiysiysiysi.li.li. tieysiysi.liysi city cities tieysiysi. tieysi. their thiysiysi. their their pooling a bottle just just pulling out the cork and upturning an entire bottle of Merlo whipping it down. The yellow tail maybe. Oh no. I will only do that with incredibly nice one. Yes. Like I said, Grange Hermitage, if you bring me a bottle of Grange Hermitage, I will will whirlpool shug it. Excellent.
Starting point is 01:03:06 Not a new one, though. It's got to have some good age on it. Right, at the very end, I want to be coughing upset of it. Yes, that's what we're talking about. Love that. All right, folks, well, that's it for us. And we'll hopefully. Ooh, threw. Oh, Andrew, I have one other. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. to to to to to to to be to be to be to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I have the. I have the. I theate. theate. theate. thooooooooooooooooo. I the. I to to to the. I have the. I is that Andrew and I have a podcast within a podcast.
Starting point is 01:03:25 If you're listening to this podcast or my podcast, you've probably seen it. It is the Boney Island Whitefish where we watch every episode of season 5, the first and only season as far as we're concerned, of the show Criminal Minds. So do, I mean, look, you're probably going to check it out by default, but go ahead and listen to it. You've already, you've probably thi thi thi thi thi to thi to thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. to listen to listen to to to to to to to to thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to the., you're probably going to check it out by default, but go ahead and listen to it. You've probably already subscribed to it. It's on either one of the Patrions. Yep, there's a free episode out now, and I think subsequent episodes will be on the bonus feed of either Trash Future or Bunda Vista.
Starting point is 01:03:58 I'm pretty sure you will be seeing a certain Lucy Valentine guesting on that episode very soon. Absolutely. Spencer read number one fan. So we're excited to see you over there too. Folks, it's an absolute bevy of content. If you honestly cannot stop listening to things, we've got you covered. So with that, we will leave you and see you next week or hopefully in person next month. Bye bye. you and see you next week or hopefully in person next month. Bye-bye. you

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