Boonta Vista - EPISODE 274: Turtles on the Blockchain (Feat. JR Hennessy)
Episode Date: November 17, 2022Andrew, Lucy and Theo are joined by JR Hennessy, host of Down Round podcast and author of The Terminal, to discuss amphibian poaching, the allure of the forbidden grease, aeronaut misadventures in th...e Alps, and more. Listen to Down Round: https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/down-round/id1636629847 Read The Terminal: https://www.theterminal.info/ Follow JR on Twitter: https://twitter.com/jrhennessy *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at mailbag@boontavista.com! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista
Transcript
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Hello and welcome to Buntavista episode 274.
I'm Theo and I'm stuck in the washing machine.
I'm stuck in the washing machine. I'm stuck in the washing machine. I'm stuck.
I called out to my stepbrother saying, oh no, stepbrow, my
airpods, they're stuck in the washing machine, but there's nobody there. And I
don't mean that just my stepbrother isn't there. I mean, that's weird all on its own,
but you know, well he's actually usually everywhere I go. I mean, we're pretty close. My parents are doing Renault there the moment, so we lost a bedroom, we have to sleep in this King's single bed together.
Anyway, no, it's not that he's not there.
The whole world's hum seems to have disappeared.
I just realized I can't hear any cars outside.
Usually around this time you get the school traffic too, and people honk at each other as they rush to work from work, always try to catch ball, always trying to catch up, but right now, it's still more calm than eerie, I'd say.
Oh, step, bro, where have you fled to?
Oh, I just found my airpods, and as I put them in, I hear that my phone has been running
on shuffle and I hear the song months by the Middle East for the time in years, and soon, and thoom soon soon soon soon soon soon soon soon soon soon soon soon soon soon soon soon soon soon soon soon the th. the th for the first time in years, and soon I'm crying, not out of sadness or fear, no.
A release of whatever dammed up inside me
in the hypolimnion of those waters,
alone here with my head stuck in the washing machine.
My tantalizing ass peacocked to the otherwise empty room
in an empty house in an empty street, alone but okay.
In another empty room, Andrew finds himself on a couch
black leather contrasted against the white walls. He's here for a casting call
for co-eds. He's checked the time zone. He's gone on his phone and put the
time to time to calculate it for his current time zone and it's spat out the same
time he typed in. He's not really sure what that proves. What he is sure of is sure of is that nobody's arriving to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thiiiii thi's thi's thi's thi's wearing thi's wearing thi's wearing thi's wearing thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi. toe. toe. toe. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's the the the the toe the toe toe toe toe toe toe the the the the the the the the the the the same time he typed in. He's not really sure what that proves.
What he is sure of is that nobody's arriving
to ask him if he's wearing any pandies under that.
Hello?
Hello?
Anybody there?
In fact, there was nobody there to meet him
when he arrived in, now that he thinks about it, there wasn't any other cars on the toauad. mean? he asks himself as he idly picks it some
crust on the couch. Has the world died or as he died? Is this the great casting couch
in the sky? Will he get the part? Finally, driving an empty bang bus through empty streets,
nobody to pick up and nobody to bang them? It's Lucy! The radio having played through to the end of Elvis Costello's pump it up has now gone silent. It's play the playlist. It's p pl pl pl pl pl pl. It's the playlist. It's the playlist. It's the playlist. It's the playlist. the playlist. the playlist. the the the their their their their their their their their the world. Has the world. Has the world's the world's the world. Has the world has the world has the world the world has the world has the world the world has the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world the world. has the world. has the world. Has. Has the world. Has. Has to the world. Has. Has to to to to the world. Has to to the world. Has to to their their their their their their their to th. Has th. Has thi thi thi tho tho thi thoo thooo' theo' tho theo' theo' tho' the world. Has the world the world it's Lucy. The radio, having played through to the end of Elvis Costello's
pump it up, has now gone silent.
It's playlist depleted, with nobody to replenish it.
And with nothing to hear, nothing to do,
and nobody share it with, she is now free to take in the city
with new eyes cast across angles and shadows and features.
They've been there the whole time, both created and hidden by our modernity, now as naked and free as the usual inhabitants
of her bus.
Yet, she still wonders.
Where is everyone?
There is everyone?
There is everyone.
There is everyone.
They're all at home, listening to the Down Round podcast.
Yes, it's the new podcast that's the new podcast's take it's a strong hands into the muck bit that is technology, business and a combination of business of of of of of of of of of of Its host thrust their big strong hands into the muck bit that
is technology, business, and a combination of business and technology that I call Biztech.
They pull out their take on it, and they repeat this thrusting and pulling motion for about
20 or 30 minutes per episode. Described by an Airbnb host as, quote, not creepy or weird,
it's James Hennesse. JR thank you so much for joining us. It's great to be here. I probably wouldn't have been here if I had
known that's how I wouldn't be introduced. That's fine. That's all good. How do you think I feel?
I'm trying to get this crust out from under my fingernails now. Of course, yeah. Of course. A little sniff.
And what a time as well I would say to launch a tech culture podcast during what I th. th. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It'sto launch a tech culture podcast during what I think is
by far the funniest error of being online in my entire life so far and probably forever?
Yeah, no, I absolutely. I was, um, we're kind of worrying when we're talking about putting it together, I was like, is there going to be enough material that's not just like
getting stuck talking about, I don't know, Microsoft Office on Off Weeks or whatever. And, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and it, and it, and it, and it, th th thi, thi, thi, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, just like getting stuck talking about, I don't know, Microsoft Office on off weeks or whatever.
And it turns out, yeah, it is an incredibly lively time to be talking about it.
So, very funny.
So, so, can you take us briefly through what the podcast is, who's on it?
what do you talk about?
Sure.
So, down around is, as you said, tech, is, who's on it, what do you talk about? Sure.
So down around is, it's a, as you said,
tech, business, culture podcast.
I hosted with Raff Dixon, who some may not know,
as a former member, or current member,
they're actually coming back of the meeting tree, an Australian dance music true.
And he's now a startup guy.
So he sells dog food, cat food online, which makes him well placed to talk about technology.
Equally as myself, I would say.
And yes, we do relatively fast episodes, they're like 20 to 30 minutes about whatever
the big tech subjects that a week is, we do two a week.
And we, well, I mean, we launched it basically because we were, we thought most tech podcast kind of sucked.
Most tech and business podcast kind of sucked too. I mean, look, there's some great ones if you, if you're boring. And you're lame. And you suck. And you suck. And you suck. And you suck. And, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you to, and you to, and you to, and you to, to, and you to. And, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to. to, to, to, to. to, to. to, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. And, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. So, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. too. I mean look there's some great ones if you if you're
boring and you're lame and you suck, you personally suck, there's a lot of
those but there's none that's like you know kind of try me try to be
relatively funny relatively smart I'm kind of I'm pumping my own tires here.
Someone needs to step in and tell me it's a good podcast.
I can't be saying this.
I do really like the fact that it's 20 or 30 minutes,
because I can actually listen to episode of that versus our podcast
where we did a two hour 40 episode?
Or was it three hours and something?
That was too long. And you know, a good proportion of that was just us reading out names from a list that
we found funny.
Well, I guess...
And that's the podcast you're listening to right now, so you should be listening to the
other one.
Yeah, please.
Turn it off.
We have, we have like 35 episodes already.
You need to be listening to that right now.
Yes. In fact, many of our listeners want to go to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to go. to be to be to be to be to be thi. to be thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to be to be thi. to be to be thi. thi. to be thoen. to be listening. to be thoen. thoen. thi. thi. to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theean. thean. thean. thean. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the many of our listeners want to go longer. They say, you gotta make these an hour long.
People are so, you know.
Needy.
My goodness.
Yeah.
Well, they're so needy, but they're so, you know,
they've got Stockholm syndrome from podcasts like this one.
They feel like they need to be that long, you know. I completely agree though that I think like 20, 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 20 20 to 20 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 to 20 to to to to to to to to to to to to 20 to 30 to 30 to 30 to 20 to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to to. to to to to to. to. to to. to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. the. the. t. today. today. te. today. today. today. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. of give you the gist of a thing, you know, as opposed to sort of saying
we are slaves to the one hour format and we have to fill the time.
But what if you want to have a deep dive into Nando's?
Yeah.
That's right.
What if you want to spend 25 minutes getting to the first sentence of a story? You can't, if you take 20 minutes to talk about Nando's a disservice, you, you, the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their time, time, time, time, time, their their their their time, their their their their the time, the time, the time, the time, the time, the time, the time, the time, the time, the time, the time, the time, the time, the time, the time, the time, and the time, and the time, and fill, and fill the their their their their their their their their their their their tho's tho's tho's time, time, time, tia., tia' time, tiole., tiole., toile., to fill to fill to fill time, to fill time, the time, the time, the thtake 20 minutes to talk about Nando's, you're really only going surface level.
And you're doing it, you're doing a listener's a disservice.
Yeah, you're doing Nando's a disservice.
Yeah. Well, that's it. Well, exactly.
Exactly. They work so hard. And to be disrespected like that is, you know, beyond the paul. And look, 20-30 minutes is also good because it sort of maintains, the illusion, the illusion, the illusion, thiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, you're to to to thi, you's, you're to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to do is, you's is to to to to to to to, you is to, you is to, you is to, is to, is to, is to, is to, is to, is to, is to, is to, is th is th is th is th is thi, is thi, is thi, you is thi, you're thi. It is a thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. Because if it went for even 10 minutes longer than that, the sort of, the gaping void in our
minds would be revealed for all to hear.
You just really start to see the seams.
Yeah, people are asking, hang on a minute and you're done.
This guy has no idea what he saw.
Where are it, it's a song. Well, like Theo said, it's a perfect time to watch all of the worst kinds of businesses
implode simultaneously.
Yeah.
Got Deliveroo.
Delivero's died in Australia?
Are they their delivery?
It's out.
Yeah, they've, they've, uh, they've shut down instantly. They didn't even give people time to get in there and I
don't know, screenshot the history of orders. I don't know why I said that. There's no reason
why you would ever want to do that. No one in on the slack channels or anything. I kind of
appreciated the fact that we all just got the email at the same time. Yeah. We're out. We're done. the email from Deliveroo. You're a Deliveroo user.
I don't think I've ever used Deliveroo.
Well, that's, well, there you go, there's the reason why.
That's right.
You sign their death war.
That's me, personally.
What are you using, Lucy?
We're just use Uberids, because in Hobart, you know, there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's the two restaurants in Hobart. That's right.
You're like the only city that I can hang shit on.
That's true.
You're in a glass house.
You're in a big old glass house.
That's true.
What does Canberra Uberets look like?
Uh, very, very similar.
Can't get a decent pizza to save my life where I'm living.
Oh really?
Don't get them them th the the the thue thue the thue thue thue thue thue thue thue thue the thue thue thue thue thue thue thue thue thue the thoer thoer thoer thoer thoer o' the thuereea tho o'er o'erou-a' thoerou-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a that's that's that's to save my life where I'm living. Oh really? Don't get him started on the pizza situation.
You don't want to hear about that again.
Another 45 minutes that's going to be.
We are pros of running down the shock clock on this show.
We get to watch Twitter.
Twitter is dying.
Crypto is crashing.
Yeah, the whole tech market's down.
Facebook's thacking everyone, Amazon stocking everyone, you know, no one's
plugging into the metaverse.
I feel like dying is too nice a word for what is happening to Twitter, which is more like
kind of putting a towel over a bird and then hitting it in the head with a hammer.
Slowly, like every time you hit it, it's not dead and you're like, fuck, shit. But that one really, you could tell that one that one that one that one that one that one that one that one th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's the the tho's, the thoom. I's thi. I's that is the the the thoom. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the is the is too. too. too. too. too. tooe. tooe. tooe. too. the. It's is the. It's is the. It's is the really you could tell that one fuck that one did some damage that here comes the you brace them for the next hit it's a
you hitting a bird but it's like a decently sized bird like a goose and you're
starting from the feet you know I feel like that'd be you could be
killing a goose so like putting a towel over it and hit it with a
cricket bat or something no you need some other form of restraint, I think.
No, I think?
I think it's agile.
It's not agile, it's just, I think it's got a bit of like strength.
Like power, okay.
Yeah, totally.
They're also just very mean birds.
I think, um, hugely.
A lot of people out there have a, have a tha, have a tha, have atheir life, I think. Yeah, there was a park near where I grew up where it was like a pack of hostile gaise.
There was sort of, I guess it was one community that like lived for like the first 10 years
of my life basically. And I know we're really, really aggressive and then one day we went to
the park and it was a sign up saying, the gates have been relocated. Yeah, yeah, yeah the gates the gates the gates the gates were the gates were the gates were the gates were the gates. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I was a their. I was a their. I was a their, their, their, their, their, their, their. I was, their. I was, their. I was their. I was their. I was their. I was their. I. I. I was their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was te. I was te. I was te. I was ta. I was ta. I was ta. I was ta. I was ta. I was ta. I was ta. I was te. I was t park and it was a sign up saying the gates have been relocated. Yeah. We got a series of towels and hammers funded by the council.
And it was only years later than I was like, I don't think they relocated those gates.
I think they killed those gays. Yeah, I probably did. I saw somebody on Twitter today
posting about how they had they had like cornered a fox that was in their, there was a fox in their hen house, and I was like, a bit stereotypical, you know.
And this was in, this was in Melbourne, and they got the ranger to come and the ranger got the fox and went, yep, oh I just got to release him over here.
The person's like, huh? Yeah, you know, I usually just let him go in and park. The fox?
Yeah.
That's fair enough, I guess.
Yeah, yeah.
What's the worse that could happen?
Well, you know, plenty of hens in the sea.
That's just good business, isn't it?
Yeah, he's getting returned business a week later.
Yeah, he grabs the fox and takes it out to the truck. Good job, buddy.
Let's go.
It's free money.
Next suburb, let's go.
Twitter crashing, crypto crashing.
It's time for some more crashing news.
In an installment of Balloonly speaking. I think that's the vibe that you hear as you fall to your death from a hot air belay.
Like really slowly, yeah.
Yes. That one is from Matt who also did the whole report theme.
Yeah. Thank you, Matt.
He seems to be the master of inscrutable themes that get sent to us.
Sight on scene.
Hmm, kind of wistful.
Bless him.
Oh, that's a nice one.
Mysterious.
There's a lot of mysteries on this show.
Uh, from the Associated Press, nine injured as hot air balloon crashes twice in Alps.
That's unfortunate.
So, okay.
Okay. That's unfortunate. So, okay. A hot air balloon crashed twice Saturday on the eastern edge of the Alps in Austria,
injuring nine people as a hard landing apparently bounced the pilot and the co-pilot out of the basket
and sent several passengers back into the sky on their own, authority said.
Oh no.
Oh no! It's like a sequence of things that you don't want to happen while you're in the hot
air balloon.
That's a nightmare scenario.
First you got the crashing, two thumbs down.
Then you sort of look up, pilot and the co-pilot are out of the basket.
You're like, does anyone know how to fly a hot air balloon?
Does anyone know how to pull this rope?
Yeah, I was going to say, I feel of all the air vessels,
this is the one where an amateur could really rise to the plane, right?
Yeah.
You think so?
You have those? Remember, there was a story a few months ago about the guy that took over the plane when the guy passed out. It was like a single, it was like a single prop plane.
It was like a small aircraft and the guy got talked through it by people over the radio
and he was a hero or whatever.
Imagine if you had, you'd took the rains as a hot air balloon and brought it back to safety
as a passenger. Can't be that. You that. You that. You that that that that that that that that that that that thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's thi's thi's thi. It's thi's the the the thi. It's thi. It was like, thi. It was like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is was was was th is th is th is thi's was like thi's was like thi's was like thi. It was like, thrown. It was like, took took. took took took took took took took took took thorough thorough was like was like, it the local paper and they'd be like, yeah, buddy, come on. Who are you kidding? I'd be immediately getting up. I'll take care of
this. Yanking on the one chord they have. A lot of fire coming out. Balloon goes up and going,
oh, oh, let me try something else. They've only got the one chord. I'm yanking the the cord again. Well, the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good. Well the good the good. Well, the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the good the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their fire their fire their fire their fire. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the th. th. the th. the the t. today. the the the the the the the the the the the the ing the cord again. Well the good thing about that is if you go up you're never going to hit the
ground. So as long as you're pulling that cord you're fine. You're good.
There's some steering mechanism. They've got like little little things don't
they? They got little handles they pull. Do they? Has anyone here been up in a hot air balloon? I have been a hot air balloon. I have, yeah. How do they come back down? That's what I want to know. They just wait. Yeah. You're low, you're low it,
they have less fire? Yes, less fire. Fire levels down. There you go. Figured it out.
Amazing. Slowly.
Pop a few strategic holes in there.
Sonia Kelner of the Lower Austrian Red Cross told news agency APA that two of the
arguments were seriously injured in the crash in the Buckley's Welch, a region, an area named
for its hilly landscape.
They were found with two other slightly injured passengers at Unterek.
The other five passengers were found with minor injuries near Stang about five kilometers
away.
Stang.
Yeah.
This is better than the guy from the story a couple of weeks ago who was picking pine nuts
in his little balloon and just flew off never to be seen again. Oh yeah. Yeah, all right pinks. Things really sucked for that that that that that that that th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. the the the the the the th. th. the the the the the the other the thi. th. the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. theeea. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th, yeah, ri-pinks. Things really sucked for that guy. I feel like he got the
bad end of the balloon stick. Hmm, already had to work harvesting pine nuts. Then he had to put
all his money into a, like, weather balloon type arrangement for the harvesting of pine nuts.
Then betrays him.
Yeah, then it got away from him.
He's off.
The Courier daily newspaper reported that the accident occurred as the balloon was about to land on a meadow.
It apparently descended too quickly.
There you go.
Should have kept the fire levels up.
And bounced off the ground, knocking four people out of the
basket, including the pilot and co-pilot. I feel like this isn't even the first story that we've
done where people have just bounced out, like comically out of the balloon when it's hit the ground?
Shouldn't you have some kind of belt? Yeah. I'd probably have a belt.
Kind of keeping you attached to the balloon there. Yeah. Maybe like a, you know the, you know like the sort of elastic cargo nets that they have for trailers?
Hmm. Like a box trailer?
Yeah, or for like the boot of a schoda.
Yeah.
One of those over the top.
Yeah.
They were dragged along for a few meters, and in parentheses here, yards.
Got it. I'm there.
Oh, okay.
Oh, yards.
Before the balloon took off again with its five remaining passengers.
Still, the pilot was able to instruct the passengers in the sky by phone on how to make an emergency landing.
The balloon eventually came to halt in a forest.
There you go. Can't be that hat. Don't call yourself a pilot. Yeah, there's got to be in the forest. There you go. Can't be that hard.
Don't call yourself a pilot.
Yeah, there's got to be another name.
Balloon operator.
Yeah, I think it would be.
I think it could have a whimsical name.
You should have a whimsical name, yeah.
Yeah, I don't know what it would be.
It's something based on like balloon air or something. Okay, so it's something that has the vibe of the 19th century.
Yeah, but definitely not pilot.
It implies a bit of skill.
The civil name of the hot air balloon pilot is an aeronaut.
I said there we go. That's exactly the sort of thing I was like, I was an actually
being full. Yeah, that's fine. I'd be perfectly happy with that, you know. Pretty cool name. Not so cool to crash one.
No good.
A bit of a crime to be that bad at flying a hot air balloon.
Folks, it's time for crime watch.
Please put down your weapon.
You're a direct fly.
Pull aboard! You know one thirteen six nine. You now have five seconds to try.
Help me!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey! This comes to us from WCMH, the work mher. In Columbus, Ohio, why is used cooking grease stolen from restaurants?
Question as old as time.
I've never, I've never thought, imagine that to be a problem.
I can't.
No solution in mind for this.
No solution in mine.
Not a question I've ever contemplated, to be honest.
Isn't this a Simpsons plotline?
Yeah, they steal the...
It was actually.
They steal the grease, the old grease traps.
Yeah, but like most good plot lines, there's a little nugget of truth in it.
Mmm.
It's one of the seven basic plots, you know?
Stealing grease.
Yeah, thease heist. In Fight Club, they were stealing fat, not grease, right?
That is true, yeah.
I guess there's a distinction.
Why are criminals stealing used cooking oil from restaurants
across Central Ohio and elsewhere?
Simit Majumda, the president of Buffalo biodiesel said the crime has cost his company,
millions of dollars.
Quote, it's ballooning.
Hey, a little overlap there.
Oh, call back. It's wiping out a third of our business, Majumda said. To put that in
the numbers, 10 million to 15 million dollars a year. That's sounding good to me so far.
That's a big grease box. Well, I mean, that's 10 to 15 million dollars worth oil to them.
But I wonder if it is worth 10 to 15 million dollars to people stealing.
Yeah, street price.
How much is stealing?
This is, I'm picturing the cops with like the jugs of oil on the table.
We have seized oil with a street value of $5 million.
And they're slipping over comically.
Buffalo biodiesel provides thousands of restaurants
across 12 states with containers
to dispose of used cooking grease.
The company then collects the grease and processes it to manufacture biofuels.
But as fuel has become pricier over the past year, the grease has become a more
valuable commodity. Now I feel bad this is recycling. The grease must flow.
Sometimes company drivers will arrive to collect the grease only to find
the container has been emptied already.
But Jumda says he's dealt with greththefts in mid-Atlantic states, such as New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania for several years, but said he's noticed more Ohio incidents
in recent months.
So what's the, what's the, what's the scam here do you think?
Because they're saying, okay, so obviously bio, biofuel and stuff becoming more valuable
because petrol prices are up, what with OPEC etc.
JR probably knows. But you can't sell, you can't just sell a jug of grease.
I think it's just for personal use. Just for the love of grease. I see. Yeah, who are you're fencing this?
Liquid Gold too. You've got a, you've got a precursor ingredient here, but you know, it's not a not a controlled substance
I don't think.
You got to turn it into that sweet, sweet gold we call fuel.
I just love the idea of a person in the biofuels game who's like happy to accept stolen
merchandise.
Yeah, just like a sleazy character.
There has to be, there has to be another connection to this, right?
Because otherwise...
I don't want to know where it came from.
Yeah, exactly.
I don't ask no questions.
Well, we've got an answer for you here.
Okay.
In October,
which you wanted a reported thefts at an Ohio restaurant in Newark and another in Ptascula, or possibly Patascala.
Quote, they'll aggregate that oil and sell it through a broker, so that way it's kind
of washed and it'll go off to a refinery and they're making a lot of money.
They're doing some oil laundering.
Oil laundering.
That's great.
I'm just imagining the kind of slime ball who would be like a grease broker.
No one's going to be able to track this.
We've run it through three deep fries.
It's uh...
They go to him because he's a master at laundering it, which means he just puts it all in one
big bat.
We've been following quite a few of like these particular kinds of stories, like the explosion
in catalytic converter theft over there.
There's the explosion in Hyundai thefts.
A lot of a lot of crimes which seem to be kind of reflective of life not going that
well in the state. When you are doing fast and the Furious heists on, like, the tankers of tankers of the tankers of thanks, like thanks, like thanks, like thanks, like thanks, like thanks, like thanks, like thanks, like thanks, like thanks, like thanks, like thanks, like thanks, like to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their thes, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their their thea, thea, like, like, like, their thea, thea, thea, like, thea, like, thea, like, to to thea, to to to t of reflective of the of life not going that well in the state.
When you are doing fast and the furious heists on like tankers of used friar grease.
Yeah something something something something something something something something something something something.
Yeah, something something's something. I can't do it.
It's like, the same family of crimes as like ripping copper wire out of the walls of the yeah. Yeah, like good honest criminal work. Yeah. the thick. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin thin thi, thinks thinks thinks thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tank tha tank tank tha tha tha tha tha. tha-s tha-s than. than. thanks, which thanks, which thanks, which thanks, which than. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. know. Yeah, like victimless. Victimless crimes, you know.
Can't knock it. Exactly. And it keeps, it keeps it, it's liquidity in the market.
It's bringing, it's keeping the wheels of American capitalism turning, you know, it would collapse without
our grace brokers. Mm-hmm. Cooking oil theft is not a new crime. The National Renderers Association,
the NRA.
No.
That's just a little joke they made, right? That's not...
What do they do at the meetings? Taste this.
The National Renderers Association has estimated that up to $75 million worth of old cooking
grease is stolen each year, the Washington Post reported in 2019.
That cannot be true.
This sounds made up.
The post reported that rendering companies pay restaurants a fee to haul away their used
cooking grease, which they then recycle and sell for components used in
products such as biofuel, animal feed, or thats used in perfume.
Alex Benin, commander of the property crimes unit at the Columbus Division of Police in Ohio,
said that while these thefts have been reported, he doesn't believe they're on the rise,
just that they go underreported.
He thi thi thi that's thi thi. He thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi deep underbelly of grease thift. He's on the beat.
Stealing grease the whole time.
You're just opening your eyes.
Exactly, exactly.
Finally the media is clang attention.
Quote, the used cooking oil is taken by the restaurant operator,
put in a tank in the back of their building and then collected most times by a third party once a month, Benin said. There could be quite a bit of time that they may not notice their grease is gone.
It's a sad, sad society.
See they're letting themselves being taken advantage of. You gotta be out there checking your grease
daily. You can't even leave all of your thousands of dollars of grease jars in your back alley anymore without someone taking them and selling them, selling them
on the gray market to a grease broker to eventually be sold to a biofuel refinery.
I'm imagining like a tightly choreographed kind of like heat ice of grease from the back
of a restaurant. Yep, the loop gets put on the camera. Exactly. They go they go through
like all of the insanely tightly planned heist, you know, guys with AK-47s
rushing through, they've got like flanking vehicles and they get away with it and then like
the main guy doesn't come, the normal guy bustle and then there's quite a quite a long period of time
of one person standing there with the tap open, just waiting.
Hey, where the oil go?
Uh, grease thefts can also be difficult to investigate, he said.
Quote, obviously it's a liquid. It doesn't have a serial number, he said.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Until now.
I would probably wouldn't crack the top 100 priorities of the Columbus Police Department.
Yeah.
Someone took my dirty old grease.
It's like, cool, all right, boy. I have 35 homicides on my list.
Hey, someone took all the grease out the back of our Long John Silvers.
Please, please do something.
Take some big PVC jug.
Yeah, we'll look into this straight away.
Go straight into evidence, sits there for months.
How many, how many unprocessed grease jugs are sitting there in similar cop stations across America.
It's a tragedy. Thanks to sick.
Quote, most of the smaller restaurants that we do here are having issues with this.
They generally don't have a security camera or really good lighting on those tanks where
they place that in grease.
You need 24-hour security. You need armed guards.
I'm suspecting the employees, you know, they know there's no security cameras.
They know what time the grease goes out and when it gets collected.
Take an home a pocket full of grease every night.
You know?
Bennett said legitimate collectors have used cooking oil typically arrived during regular business hours.
In large, tanker type trucks with drivers in uniform.
Okay. It's legitimate operation. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th cameras. th. thi cameras. th. th. thi cameras thi cameras th. thi cameras thi cameras thi cameras thi cameras thiures thi cameras thi cameras thi cameras thi. thi. thi. thi-ty cameras thi-ty cameras thi-tha cameras thi cameras thi cameras thi cameras thi cameras thi cameras thi cameras thi cameras thi cameras thi cameras thi cameras thi cameras th. th. th. th. th. th. thi cameras th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiauuiauiiauia' thia' thia' thi. thi. thi. thi. thanker type trucks with drivers in uniform. Okay.
It's legitimate operation.
Yep, so the guy who turned up with the horizontal black and white striped shirt, the
hamburger outfit at 2 a.m.
Dragging away a greasy sack.
He's drinking.
Quote, almost certainly if it's after hours small vehicles, panel vans, it almost certainly
likely is not legitimate and they should call the police, he said in advice to businesses.
Sorry, the thing about the guys arriving in like business hours with the truck and the sucker
truck and they've got all the official outfits, reminded me of like, we, we like finished up, we're doing a team day and we went to Corbett the c Corb the c Corb. corb it to, Corb it to Corb it to c Corbett to c Corbett to c Corbett to c Corbett to c Corbett to c Corbett to c.. C Corbett, corbett, corbett, c. A c. A cork, cork, cuck, cuck a cuck, cuck, cuck, cuck, thea, truc, truck, truc, truc, truc, t official outfits, reminded me of like, we, we like finished up, we're doing a team day and
we went to Corbett and Claude, you know, the pizza place, I don't know if that's across
Australia or not, anyway. None of us are from Brisbane. So, no, it's, I don't think it's a Brisbane thing,
it's a chain, but anyway. And it's in the middle of the city and like halfway through lunch, a sucker thru truck th thru truck th th th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the th. It's th. It's, thi. It's, their their their their their th. It's, their. their. their. their. their. It's, their. It's, their. It's, their. It's, their. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, their. It's, t. It's, today. It's, today. It's, today. It's, the the the the the the the the the the today. the the the city and like halfway through lunch, a sucker truck arrives to empty
the port of potty's.
And so the entire restaurant is just like blanketed in diarrhea, measmus.
Oh, God.
Going past like, what's that smell to, it just being like, sticking to you the whole surface.
They just like wave and they go on with their day.
Yeah, but at least you knew no one was stealing all of that shit out of the forecloth.
Well, I don't know. I didn't check their ID.
That diarrhea might be on the black market by now.
So they're just coming after hours in like a dark van and be like, oh, yeah, I'm here to pick the grease after hours. I think they're just just just just just just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just their they're their they're they're just their they're just their they're just their th. their there. their their their their thoing thi. thi. they're they're they're they're thoing their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they're they're they're they're th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. they're th. they're thi. they're thi. thi. the. the. the. the. theeate. I're theate. Yeah. I're theate. Yeah. I're just the. I're just thee. Yeah. I'll they're just're just stealing the grease after out. I think they're cutting the hole in the chain link. They're just stealing it, okay.
They're coming through with a collection of like empty Coca-Cola bottles from home, you know?
Empty RC cola, filling them up with grease, taking them away. I think it's smart. I think they've worked hard for this and they deserve it. It's th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they're they're their, their, they're they're their, they're they're they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they their their their their their their theateateate, they're just entitled to that grease, renderers. You know? Yeah. You
don't own grease. It comes from nature. You can. From stolen liquids from nature to stolen
solids from nature. Folks, it's time for Nature Corner. From the Associated Press
From the Associated Press turtles in demand as pets leading to see the guy dressed like the hunter from Jurassic Park. Oh yeah.
Little hat done up on one side.
It's hunting turtles.
Yeah. Don't let it get away, you know?
Wildlife trade experts believe that poaching, driven by growing demand for pets in the U.S. Asia and Europe
is contributing to the global decline of rare freshwater turtle and tortoise species. One study found over half of the 360 living turtle
and tortoise species are at risk of extinction. Put them back. Yeah. Just put that turtle back.
Put that guy down. Come on. It's not yours. Went out for a walk the other day and uh, the weather the weather was finally nice to go. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. to. the to. to the to to the to the the to to the the to the to the to the to to their, their, their, thea. their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. te. total. total. total. total. total, total. total. total, total, total. total, total. total. total. total. total day and the weather was finally nice enough to go for
a little walk, take my camera with me.
And I thought, I won't see anything because I haven't been out in ages.
And the first thing that happened was a very large cuckabar landed on a branch right in
front of me with a baby turtle in its mouth.
Oh no!
Oh no!
Oh no!
That it cracking a nut.
And I went, neat, click.
The thing I struggle with with turtles
and obviously the great and beautiful and ancient creature
is their innate frisbiness.
And I don't think I would be able to survive with a pet turtle. Like, why do they make them so circular?
Why do they make them like that?
Just give them, just give it like, just once, just once.
Just once.
Just one, he's got a shell.
Like, you don't hurt him.
What is it, surely, what is the flight?
You'll do it on the kitchen of tiles. No, no, not cruel. Just to see what the flight path looks like.
Yeah.
How it feels.
How aerodynamic.
Exactly.
How far it goes.
The problem is you're out in the backyard with your mates and you say just what.
Just one.
Just one.
Just one.
It's never just one.
What if you give it a frisbee across to your buddy and the? Exactly. What if it's the most perfect weight on it? It's got
those curves like an airfoil, it'd be so like a hero dynamic. Or even like you throw it
and it's not very satisfying, but then you're like, I don't think I did it. I don't think I could do that better. I th. I that I that I that I that I can't feel like I can't think I can't that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I think I can't th. I can't th. I can't do th. I can't that. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't thi. I can't thi. I can't thi. I can't think th. I can't think th. I can't think I can't think I can't think I can't think I can't think I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't th. I can't the. I can't the. I the. I the. I theat. I the. I theat. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I that better. I think it's a technique problem. It's on the wrist, obviously.
Yeah, yeah, just like a...
It is it. I don't know, maybe the elbow has to do it.
I gotta try again.
Yeah, and then that's a slippery slide.
Like skipping a stone across a pond, you know?
Just one more.
Oh, you can skip one more. To be clear, we are pro turtles. Yeah. We're all for the little guys.
I don't know if I like them.
Speed up.
You know, speed up.
They're stinky animals, right?
Are they?
Turtles are stinky.
Yeah.
This is the first time hearing of it, but it does sort of make intuitive sense.
I never really think of reptile to be stinky.
Yeah. a mammalian thing to be too stinky. Well because they're kind of slimy too. Yeah so
are they slime? I guess turtles are actually. Look at that mark on them. Yeah if they're hanging out
in water and all the sort of, everyone I've known who has had pet turtles the tank has been like a stinky zone. But anybody that you know that it's had pet turtles can you tell whether the smell is the smell the smell the smell smell the smell the smell the smell the smell is the smell is the the the the the the the tha tha tha tha tha turtle is turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles. I turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles turtles the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell smell the smell the smell is the smell is the the the the the the the the the the the the the tank tank is the the smell the smell is the smell is the smell is the smell the smell the smell the smell the smell is the tank or the owner. Uh, well... True.
That's a certain genre of guy that owns turtles.
This is how I feel when my kids are like, we want to get guinea pigs or rabbits or whatever,
and I'm like, no, I don't need that smell in my house.
No, thank you.
If you are, if you have owned turtles in your life, please write into mail bag at B, to, tha, tas, tas, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, thu, ta, thu, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, thu, thu, tha, ta, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, ta, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha-a, thauu-a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a, tha, tha, tha, you have owned turtles in your life, please write into Mailbag at Buntavista.com and tell us,
turtle stinky? Yeah. Is he stinky? Was he stinky?
Subject line, Turtle stinky. And also, we describe the sort of smell as well. Yeah. Yeah, what kind of smell.
Yeah. What kind of smell?
The flavors of animal musk? You want them really, they want them. Get into it. Do they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. tha. tha. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeahto what it is. Get into it. Do they pee on you while you're holding them? They are that kind of.
Oh, I bet they do.
Yeah.
These concerns of turtle theft have prompted a dozen proposals to increase protection
for fresh water turtles at the 184 nation convention on international trade in endangered
species of wild fauna and flora or sites. Hmm. Hmm. I feel. I feel feel feel feel feel feel feel feel they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're th. thee the the. thee. thee. they're they're they're they they're they they're they they they they they picking and choosing about the letters they wanted to include in the acronym there.
Meeting in Panama, November 14th through November 25th.
So you still got time to get there, folks.
It's still on.
In Panama.
Yep.
Nip over to Panama.
Get your ass to Panama for the... and save the turtles. Precise figures on the turtle trade, especially illegal trade, can be hard to find.
Well, they don't have a serial number, you know?
That's the problem.
So many things don't have serial numbers.
It's causing problem.
But turtles, they've're thinking you get a turtle and get the old Dremel out?
I think so. Like, and I go, as long as it's not hurting them, right?
I want to be clear about that, but I'm pretty certain you could Dremel a security code,
a serial number into them, top and bottom, so make sure you've got a matching set. And there may be a little tag around their thing to make sure that the meat matches the shell.
Yeah.
You wouldn't do it if it felt to the turtle like having its tooth drilled, you know?
Yeah, I assume there's no nerves in the shell.
I don't think the shell...
And if we're wrong, don't write in.
Yeah. If you know th you you you you you you you you th th you th you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho their their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thu. thu. thu. turtl. turtlea. turtlea. turtle. turtle. turtle turtle. turtle. turtle. turtle. turtle. turtle. te. te. the. the. the shell. And if we're wrong, don't write in. Yeah. If you know what turtles feel through their shell, don't tell me about it.
You can't know. You can't know that.
I'm just googled it and I'm really sorry to tell you guys that.
They can feel it when you toughs their shell.
There are nerve endings, innovating even the bones. No they the the the the bones, the the bones, what the the the the the their their thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine thine th an thine th an thine. What thurtles. What thurtles. What are are turtles. What are thurtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtes, th is th is th is th is th is th is th an th an th an th an th an turtes, th an turtles, th an turtles, turtles, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, turtles, shell. No, no. They're made of keratin, so I guess it's
kind of like your fingernails. Kind of like fingernails. They're like one big
fingernail, that's fucked up. Don't like that at all. I'm off turtles now.
Based on US Fish and Wildlife Service data, Tara Easter, a University of
Michigan doctoral candidate who studies the trade estimated the commercial export trade for mud turtles in the United thoe. thoe. thoe. thoe. thoe. to thoe. thoe. tho. tho. No, tho, tho, tho, no tho, no tho, no tho, no tho, no tho, no tho, no tho, no thi, no thi, no thi, no th, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the thean, thean, thean, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiioliologe, thiologe, thi, thi, thi estimated the commercial export trade for mud turtles in the United States increased from 1,844 in 1999 to nearly 40,000 in 2017.
Oh my god. And Musk turtles from 8,254 in 1999 to more than 281,000 in 2016. Wow.
Just your own turtles, you know?
One of us driving that. What's what's incentivized turtles, you know? One of us driving that, what's incentivized turtle acquisition among the American population?
It can't just be people sitting around like COVID going, I wish I had a little amphibian
to look at in my house.
Which had a boring pet.
Yeah.
That feels pain through its fucking protective fingernail.
I wish I had a, wish had a pet who was a big stinky toenail.
Coved was a tough time, you know.
In the proposal to ban or limit the commercial trade in more than 20 mud turtle species,
the United States and several Latin American countries cited data from Mexico that found
nearly 20,000 turtles were confiscated, mostly at the Mexico City Airport.
From 2010 to 2022.
What do you mean?
Going through the old full body scanner?
Oh, you can't take this through security.
You had a, this got to go and checked. You know the police are, police are that that, that, thing thing thing thing thing thing thiing thiing their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tha, tha, tha, tha, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, are taken that. They're frisbeeing at themselves.
Among the world's most trafficked animals,
Freshwater turtles are targeted by criminal networks that connect with buyers on the internet,
and then transport the reptiles to black markets in Hong Kong and other Asian cities.
This is shocking.
World's most trafficked animals.
Yeah, they shouldn't be doing that. There's got to be more interesting animals to traffic, right?
Yeah.
Whenever you hear about animals, you hear about birds and stuff.
People be people wearing birds on their person while they're going through airport customs and whatever.
Stuff in a bunch of poster tubes.
Well, thaturtles. I think they're... Well, they're easy to stack, really.
Yeah, yeah.
That's true.
It's not going to cause a fuss.
Like you could just chuck one in your backpack.
A bird would definitely cause a fuss.
Yeah, I tend to think that about people having a bunch of birds, like stuff down their pants and in their coat and stuff, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, their, is, is, is, their, their, is, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, their, thatheir, it, it's, it's thuage, it's their, it, it's not, it's not, it's not going, it's not going, it's their, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. It. It's, it. It. It's, it.... It's, it... It's, it, it. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th. It's the, thi. It's not going. It's not going. It's not going. It's not going. It's not going. It's not going, more, more, more, more, more, more thi. It's not going going thi. It's not going going, more, it's not going. It's not going.bing in there. He's not doing anything. Well, back to sleep, you know? So it's, it's toenail on the outside but they've still
got bones on the inside. That's correct. Yeah, yeah, much like your finger.
Yeah, I guess. Well, I mean your finger doesn't have toenails to be fair. I guess.
Yeah, all right, it's like my finger.
From there they are sold as pets to collectors and for commercial breeding food
and traditional medicine. In many countries trade is poorly regulated or not
regulated at all. We need to get the government cracking down on turtle trade.
We need... is what crypto is going for. We want to be as free as the turtle trade. We need, this is what crypto is going for.
We want to be as free as the turtle market.
Which also trades on crypto currency.
The lucrative business, some turtle species coveted for their colorful shells or
strange appearance can fetch thousands of dollars in Asia.
Add to threats turtles already face. Those include climate change, habitat destruction, the tholity. Wee. Wee. Wee. Wee. Wee. thi. Wee. Wee. Wee. thi. Wee. Wee. Wee. Wee. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. We want thousands of dollars in Asia, add to threats turtles already face.
Those include climate change, habitat destruction, road mortality, and predators eating their eggs.
That's a fucked up thought.
I'm...
I'm...
Yeah, you go...
Sounds like you got no sympathy for the turtles of the world, my friend.
I have the utmost sympathy for the turtle, and it's...
it is a fucked-fuckfuckfuck fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fucked fuckedurtles and it is a fucked up thought to think of a
a slow turtle getting popped on the road. Like...
Every time I'm driving long distance in Australia, I am just staggered by how many wombats there are,
toes up on the side of the road. It's a bummer to think about it.
It's a huge bummer. It's a bummer to think about, but also I got to look at him, so.
They're big guys.
They just, it's like hustle, you know?
Get out of there.
Come on.
Come on.
Do better.
The United States Association of Reptile Keepers,
which advocates a responsible private ownership and trade in reptiles and amphibians, said it a statement that quote, addressing reductions in wild populations by limiting
captive breeding and legal trade is counterproductive. If we don't have enough
of a species on earth, the solution should be to make more of them, Daniel
Parker said, the director of media for the group's Florida chapter
by cracking down on breeding and trade authorities are missing out on free
market conservation solutions.
They are crypto guys.
Mmm, sounds like it. God.
That's a horrible phrase.
Crypto guys who are horny to see some turtles, fucking.
Since 2018, the Collaborative to Combat The Illegal Trade in Turtles, an organization
of mostly state, federal and tribal biologists, who combat poaching of North American turtles has documented at least 30 major smuggling cases in 15 states.
Some involved a few dozen turtles, others several thousand.
I would like if they had the same kind of situation that they do in like Africa with the guys who go around and brandish guns at poachers, you know,
hmm, put the guys who go around and brandish guns at poachers, you know? Mmm.
Put the turtle down.
Earlier this year, a federal judge in North Carolina sentenced to man to 18 months in prison
and find him $25,000 for trafficking turtles.
That's so funny, you're in prison, like, what are you in for?
Nothing.
And they're at the bottom, the bottom rock of the prison high rock, like the low catapar.
It's the trafficking.
Yeah, it was called Selling.
Oh my goodness.
The man trafficked 722 Eastern box turtles.
The North Carolina state reptile.
Oh, no wonder he got the, the judge bought the hammer down.
The state reptile.
As well as 122 spotted turtles and three wood turtles through a middleman for markets in Asia.
The man received more than $120,000 for the turtles, which have a value of $1.5 million in Asia.
He's getting stiffed. That's not enough. What was he fined? How much was he find again? He was fined 25,000 but he also had to go to prison for 18 months.
Yeah. It's got to do it cost to doing business. Yeah. You reckon they've
they fact that in for that price? Do you think they've done the proceeds of crime thing on him and taking his turtle money?
His green backs if you will?
Took the turtle.
Yes, they've saved it, yeah, absolutely.
In 2021, a Chinese national was sentenced to 38 months in prison and fined $10,000 for
money laundering after previously pleading guilty to financing a nationwide smuggling
ring that sent 1.2 millionturtles worth more than 2.2 million dollars from the
US to China. The man used PayPal to purchase the turtles from American buyers, advertising
them on social media and reptile websites and sold them to Hong Kong reptile markets.
What do you reckon they put in the description field for that transaction? Legitimate turtle. Lunch. I'm looking at the eastern box turtle and that's that's that's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. The thi. The thi. The thi. The thi. The thi. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. The th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. the. the. the. the. the. the. theimate turtle purchase. Lunch. I'm looking at the eastern box turtle and that's just a little guy.
You shouldn't be laundering him.
Do you need a turtle that badly?
He's just a little fellow.
Is that a prestige pet?
Wood turtles also look pretty nice.
That's a classic turtle.
The wood turtle.
If you ask me to close my eyes and picture a turtle, it's pretty much that guy.
Yeah.
Oh, they describe it as one of Ontario's most attractive turtles.
They want me to fly off.
Furtle!
Oh. A New Jersey man was sentenced to two years probation in order to pay $350,000 in restitution
and fines for smuggling.
I'm not giving one up with these numbers.
One thousand three toed and western box turtles from Oklahoma to New Jersey in candy wrappers
and socks.
A thousand turtles. Yeah.
That's a lot.
He's working hard.
We're giving that. Candy wrappers. The illegal trade has prompted governments to
propose listing for the first time 42 turtle species under sites including North American
Musk turtles. Though some species like the Eastern Musk turtle are common, a listing
means traders will need a permit to sell them internationally.
Commercial sale of other species such as alligator snapping turtles found in U.S.
Gulf states and reaching up to 200 pounds would be limited.
Proposals would also tighten regulations on 13 others already listed for protection.
Folks, stop stealing turtles. I feel like the guy's doing the turtles that are the size of a jeep.
I feel like the guy's doing the turtles that's slot into the socks.
Playing a very different game than the fucking Florida snapping turtles that are the size of a Jeep. It's a big
sock. Yeah. I do love the libertarian guy and being like no we need to
breathe them like crazy so there's plenty more to steal. Plenty of turtles for
everyone. Yeah free market Darwinism. Incredible. Well free market libertarians. It's really only a hop step and a jump from
the classic sovereign citizen. It's time for sovereign citizen watch.
I feel like we haven't heard from any sovereign citizens in a while. I feel like it's kind of gone
out of fashion a little.
Oh, no, they've had a lot on their, they've had a lot on their plate with the anti-Vax stuff.
Yeah, they've been busy.
They've been busy.
Don't you, don't you worry, they've been busy.
This comes from the Otago daily times. Man demands $6,000 from police in bizarre sovereign citizen argument.
Worth a try?
Pro move.
How do you think he demanded to be paid?
Something silly.
Something silly.
They're on Ethereum now.
What do you reckon?
You think it's crypto?
Yeah, gold bars.
Yeah, I'm thinking more gold bars, something physical.
A Queenstown man refused to undergo a roadside breath test, then demanded police pay him $6,000 in quote,
gold bullion for taking up his time.
I should say, I should have said good bullion, yeah.
I think you were there, you were there with gold bars.
Yeah. When bars are bullion, right? Is the same thing? It's same tha same tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. tho. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta.? What's the difference? Is that the same thing?
It's the same thing, yeah.
When Rubin Jeremiah Henry, 30, a carpenter, appeared in the Queenstown district court
on Thursday on charges arising from the July 22nd incident, he proffered a quote, sovereign
citizen argument in which he claimed he was not subject to New Zealand laws.
The judge alone trial began with the defendant refusing to
move from near the back of the court, judge Chris Seigrove, I'm not a ship so I
don't belong in a dock.
That's the big moment of a sovereign citizen's life as well.
You're such turds. You can picture them rehearsing this in a mirror at home before coming in the court?
That's the big moment of a sovereign citizen's life as theds. You can picture them rehearsing this in a mirror at home before coming into court?
That's the big moment of a sovereign citizen's life is the yeah, arrested them. Just waiting for that. Being like, I know, I know the laws.
There's no other way to express, there's no other way to express your ideology, you know.
Yeah, dreaming of the day when they can yell, I'm not a ship at a judge. Exactly, yeah. Argument well made.
There, somebody was doing this in a Camber court recently,
and the judge just said, you are an idiot.
So this guy, but you are a moron and a fool.
Can he say that?
I don't know if that's like a legal argument, but just some good fun
editorializing it.
I think it was just commentary around the legal argument, you know. And Lucy, I'm pretty sure that judge was a woman.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Internalized misogyny much?
Sorry, I will do it.
I'm going to take some time off from the podcast to pick about things and do better.
Oh, here we go.
When Judge Seygrove addressed Henry by name, the defendant asked him if he was referring to a quote artificial person.
It's surely at that point you just go shut the fuck up, shut up.
You know how crazy you sound right now.
Yeah, you know who I'm talking to.
Yeah, you're the guy. I got the picture here.
Reading from a statement, he said he was not subject to, quote, enslavement,
and it was a crime for a court to claim authority
over a living man or woman in their natural state.
It's so strange how they all come up
with the same language and the same arguments
despite like vastly different legal systems and context.
They've all kind of just absorbed the same.
I don't really get it.
So if you're a sovereign citizen, you're just like you're outside of law.
I think a large part of the issue.
And James jumping if you are a sovereign citizen expert or anything.
Or a sovereign citizen, you're a free man on the land. Yeah. I think my vague understanding of it right is that they've all kind, they've all kind of, the, you.. th. th. th. the, th. th. th. th. the, th. th. the, th. th. th. th. the, th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, their, their, the thean, thean, their, thean, thian. So, thian. So, so thian. So, so thian. So, so thian. So, so thian. So, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their thean, their the land, you know.
Yeah, I think my vague understanding of it, right, is that they've all kind of, they've
all looked at the same websites and they've all encouraged each other the same way into
believing that there is like, you know, a magnacata constitution type based interpretation of the law which supersedes everything
from there on down so they can just say, uh-uh, police don't count, court
doesn't count, I've got the cheat code and it's my turn on the Xbox, you know?
But like, the only problem with that is, whenever people try to do it, like Wesley
Snipes with his tax stuff when he went
to court and said, constitutionally I don't have to pay my tax and they said
wrong you are going to prison. Like you would think that there were like a lot of
examples of people trying to expertly deploy this stuff in court just like this guy
and being thoroughly ignored and booked in court, just like this guy,
and being thoroughly ignored and booked?
No, no, I think you've got the wrong tack on this, Andrew.
They are the only ones standing up for what's true and right in the world,
even though they know that the system is going to cut them down.
Just like it cuts down, you know, free trade, people selling child pornography on the internet and so on.
No, they're modest for the cause. Yeah, be right. They do. The market, the magneticator is all there
would come back to. They always say that they're right, guaranteeing and try on the
magna cata, which supersedes all other succeeding political documents. It's a good line. It's a good line. It seems like it might be true.
I don't know.
Feels kind of true. I'm not an expert. It sounds smart when you say it out loud.
It's the same as the, um, I mean, the micro nation people are kind of similar.
It's sort of like a different level, but they argue on the same merits, basically.
They truly are the the the the the the the the th, basically. They truly are the Nelson Mandela's of drink driving. The police summary of facts said Henry was pulled over at a routine stop on Lake Eslenard
just before midnight on July 21st.
He refused to produce his driver's license, giving his name and date of birth, or
undergo a breath test and spoke to officers through a small gap in his window.
So, it's a good mental image, but like, I think though you've got to appreciate it.
I'll say this with the, I'll say this with the caveat that I'm sure that there is all kinds of, you know, institutionalized racism and police unpleasantness in New Zealand just like there is everywhere else. But like you see a lot of stories out of the states where somebody like
doesn't instantly comply with the police and they get air hold like three
minutes later. It is it is nice to see somebody winding down their window
two centimeters and refusing to get out of the car or anything and the cops just sort of going, come on.
Please.
Come on.
Blow on the thing or we go to jail.
Come on.
The standoff continued for about 20 minutes, but eventually the defendant, who had a woman
and puppy with him, got out and said he would go to the police station, quote, under extreme duress. A short time later he tried to get back into his car and resisted as he was arrested
and handcuffed. His uncooperative behavior continued at the police station and he was charged
with failing to supply identifying particulars, refusing to accompany police, resisting a constable
and refusing to give blood. I mean, you know, they're all, they're all very much in the same ballpark.
Yeah, and also all of those things are good, but he's arrived at the, at the correct answers through the wrong working, I think, as well.
Constable Vicky Gonzaga told the court the defendant's quote, quite erratic behavior made
her suspect he had been drinking.
No, I think that's just sovereign citizenship, right?
Yeah, that's just normal stuff.
Yeah.
It's insulting, to be honest.
This man standing up for the rights of every one of us, living out of the yoke of having
to pay taxes and so on.
But also some famously he has been drinking.
He has been drinking. He has been drinking. Yes.
Henry told the constable that he was quote a living man who presides within himself and quote.
And that the police own...
Don't say that. Don't say if there's a man in you.
No. I am up my own ass.
Just the Magna Carta say something about this? I don't know that it does.
It's all magic spells, isn't it? If I say these words in this sequence, they gotta let me go.
The handcuffs will fall off. Everyone will clap as I walk out, you know? He told
her he was a living man who presides with it himself and the police owed him $6,000
to be painting gold bullion for the time they had detained him.
It's awkward. Judge Seigrove told Henry he deemed the defendant's sovereignty argument,
which he had also filed with the court in written submissions as a denial of the charges.
Referring to a recent court of appeal decision that found acts of Parliament were binding on all New Zealand citizens,
he said such arguments had been tested in court and, quote,
consistently rejected.
The courts had to uphold these acts, including in this case the Land Transport Act.
Hemry was convicted and fined $1,200, court costs $520 and disqualified from driving for six
months.
Damn.
Tyranny of the state, huh?
Didn't get his gold bullion.
It's a shame.
Rough.
It's a real shame.
I think maybe they would get more people signing on if they weren't such dwebs about
it the whole time, just like dragging their heels, being like pulled around by their hair, shoved
into lockers and stuff.
You want a cool sovereign citizen.
But they call sovereign citizen. You want to call sovereign citizen, but they're all just... They're kind of the deweevey urins of like the Patriots and Rowan types.
Yeah. I feel like if you had a guy that, you know, if you had a sovereign system who is,
you know, young, strapping, muscular, handsome, you know.
You know, owned a great singing. You know, I'm just, I'm spitballing here.
Yeah.
It'll be good for the movement, yeah.
It'd be wonderful for the movement to have a figure like that.
I assume that they're all kind of seeing themselves as like a Neo, a V for Vendetta type figure.
You know, rising up, breaking the shackles of the system, breaking free. But it's not really how it comes off, you know?
It comes off as like the more hardcore version of a libertarian which people already don't
like.
Yeah, kind of going, kind of, eh, like a lamea version.
At the cops, you know, through like a tiny gap in their top of their window. See a vexatious living vibe. They kind of, they just seem like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's not, that's not, thi, that's not, thi, that's not, that's not, it that's not, it that's thi, it thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's not thi's not thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tiny gap in their top of their window. It's the effects actually litigant vibe.
They kind of, they just seem like an extreme version of like a habitual
council letter writer.
Yeah, extremely to the next level.
Always the craziest people.
Yeah, you want someone that's more like a, um,
war lord, like medieval prehistoric. Yeah, that's the kind of vibe you want it
you do what a you do what a libertarian you want you want someone accumulating
you know followers and an army or something right written you of armed
supporters not someone who seems like you know yeah yeah no I will not submit to a
breathalyzer test and also I am selling you as chattel for six horses
exactly that's exactly I do I do I do get to six horses. Exactly, that's the same trtle.
I do get more of the cooler vibe from the people who just kind of say, hmm, this block
of land is now a country and I am the king.
Yeah, absolutely.
They're making something of it.
They're plunking down, they're building something.
Well, and it's more kind of like, you know what, I've drawn a little line around my sandbox
and it's my deal in here, as opposed to trying to operate just in the society that you live
in but also telling everyone at all times that the rules don't apply to you.
Yeah.
Nobody vibes with that.
That's no good.
It's like just...
Just leave then if that's the case. Oh, downer. Dear, oh dear. Well, from a bunch of people who don't know anything,
to people who do know things, you should be listening to Down Round podcast.
Hmm. Copy yourself a better than Down Round, you know?
Yeah, absolutely. You must be.
And surely the last hour of listening has suggested I know what I'm talking about.
Absolutely.
On topic's French from turtles to...
The magnarta.
The magna-potter.
Turtle poaching and oil theft.
Yeah, I'm well read on all these subjects.
And more.
.. I'm well read on all these subjects. I'm all. Yep. Aeronaut Dynamics. Absolutely. All things of that nature. You probably won't hear about those on downround, but that's fine.
But who knows? If they come up, you'll be ready. You know. I'll be ready. Yeah, exactly.
Folks, that has been an episode of the podcast.
Buntavista. Thanks to joining us, Henno.
Oh, it's a pleasure as always.
All right, everybody. Thanks for listening. Check out down round. We'll put the old link in the
description and we'll see you next time. Bye bye. Bye. Bye. Hi. you