Boonta Vista - EPISODE 276: Roadrunnered By The Coyote (with Will Menaker)
Episode Date: December 1, 2022Lucy, Andrew, and Ben are joined by Chapo Trap House's Will Menaker to discuss: Tear gassing your own troops for morale, losing 45 gallons of iPhones, and an American werewolf in Colorado. Plus: The C...lipping Report and the much-dreaded return of the RIPing Report. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at mailbag@boontavista.com! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista
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Welcome to Vista episode 276.
I'm Andrew and I'm here in New York City, one of the world's five biggest apples.
According to my lonely planet guide, which I'm holding open in front of my face, New York is the city of many restaurants, taxi cabs and centralized parks.
I bump into a gentleman on the street who bluntly informs me that he is walking here. I step aside only to find an elderly woman coming the other
way who tells me that she is also walking here. I get off the sidewalk and ask a hot dog
vendor for one of his findest dogs only to be told that he too is walking here.
He angrily shoves his cart against my thighs until I move. I look back at my lonely planet guide to find that the population of New York City is around 18 million people causing me
great concern about where all these people are going to be walking and if that
place will always be here. With me on my trip holding the Lonely Planet
to New York City and wearing an Iheart NY shirt and very small shorts on which he
has embroidered I heart NY, it's Ben. Good to see you blending in with the locals, Ben.
I love the Mets.
Is that correct?
Can't get enough of that good old-time American baseball.
Well yeah.
Yeah.
Scowling at her own copy of the Lonely Planet's New York City as she tries to find
somewhere to eat, it's Lucy.
Lucy, have have have have have you have you have you have you have you have you have you you have you you have you you have you you have you you have you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you th you the thease thoome thoom thoomease thoomease thoom thoom thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing the thoing the th th the the the th the the their their their their their the she tries to find a somewhere to eat, it's Lucy. Lucy, have you found which pizza place has the best pizza in the world yet?
I mean I haven't, but you guys heard of these bodegas?
No.
They make sandwiches.
I've been looking into these.
There's no other word in any ask someone to chop my cheese.
Anyway, not to worry, I can see our tour guide coming around the corner,
telling people that he's walking here and he's just a kid from New York.
Returning guest, host of the world's first podcast,
Chappo Traphouse, it is the one and only Will Manika. Welcome, welcome to the five-to-to to to to to here, pleased to host you in the number one city in the world, New York.
But I'd like to begin by, of course,
sending all my love and support back to Australia
and your beloved soccer roos who have truly captured the heart of the entire planet.
Are they doing well? They are doing well. Yes. They're doing so good. They have confirmed
for me that I finally can decide once and for all I find French people more annoying than
Australians. So I did root for the soccer roost. That's um, that's a tough contest. I think if I was
forced to choose between hearing like, I mean
the ultimate test of whether nationality is annoying is having a loud group of them near you
in an airport and I would be hard pressed to make that decision. Yeah, Australians and euros.
Yeah, God. Every time Lucy travels somewhere, we get a series of messages about the
Australians in the airport and she wanted to fucking kill them. Awful, hearing your own accent said back to you in an airport.
Particularly though, I feel like when we hear that stuff from you Lucy, it's when you've
gone to like a popular Australian holiday destination, like one of the nearby
Saladay countries. Well, no, like Bali I was thinking particularly last time you
were coming back from Bali and that's when you get... Really getting the bottom
tier of us. So you didn't enjoy your stay at the White Lotus Resorts
Lucy? That would be full of Australians in real life. I think Bali though you're
going to get like the most sunburned people you've ever seen outside of the British. Yeah I think Bali though you're going to get like the most sunburned people you've ever seen
outside of the British, I think.
All very sunburn, everyone will be wearing like a bin tang singlet, you know?
Yeah.
And possibly getting into a fight at the airport.
Why not?
It's a good place to fight.
Airports, airports turn everyone. And inside the heart of every man there is a beast and it awakens, it's th is th is th is th is the th is the th is the the th is the the the th is the the the British thii. th. the the British th. the British th. the British th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the British the British th. the British the British the British the British the British the British the British the British the British the British the British. the British. the British. the British. the British. the British. the British. the British. the British. the British. the British. the British. place to fight. Airport's drinking beer at 7 a.m. Airports turn everyone and inside the heart of every man there is a beast
and it awakens when you put him in an airport or on an airplane.
I wonder what it is.
Do you think it's just like...
It's like the stress, obviously flying is stressful.
It's also like, it's not a comfortable space. There's too many people there, and there's like, the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's tho, it's to to to that, it's to to to th to th th tho, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th. th. thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's not a thi, thi, thi, that, that, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi. It's too many people there and there's like an abundance of rules. There's more Society than you used to inside an airport and I think that the body it reacts to that they wants to act out
It wants to bite a stewardess on the arm and punch a security guard. I think it's it's similar to driving in that like it's sort of
It makes everyone in a competition, but unlike driving none of the people in the competition feel like they're in control in th in th in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the people in the competition feel like they're in control of the game.
Whereas like driving a car, you feel you have this illusion
that you're the captain of this little ship.
Whereas you have all the same stress in an airport,
but no one's in control.
Like everyone feels like they're being cheated in some way.
Then you're allowed to be drunk, which you can't do in the car. Well, not yet. Not yet. I'm working on, I'm lobbying the government here in America.
I'm very strongly on this issue. Getting some legislation in place. Me and Ben live in very driving-centric
cities, I think. They're quite spread out and the public transport cannot take you everywhere where you want to go. So I think, like the city I live in it, it, it, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, the, I the, I the, I the, I the, I'm the, not, not, not, not, I'm the, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not. Not, not. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, I the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, te, the, the, the, the, the public transport cannot take you
everywhere you want to go. So I think like the city I live in it certainly
brings out not great vibes in people driving and so you get to have that
experience over and over again of extremely aggressive drivers all around you
and then you know five minutes later you come to a traffic light and you
just have the same people sitting next to you.
After struggling to overtake you and tailgating and like giving you mean mugs and bad vibes
and the fingers they're gone past and then you just sit next to each other lights again.
I used it. You've been defeated by the system.
I use the horn in my car for the first time in like, actually possibly the first time since I've bought this car. Because I, as I have stressed multiple times in the past, only for emergencies.
You don't use it to say hello to people, you don't, none of that shit, but someone
pulled out in front of me the other day without indicating, almost hit them.
And I was like, fuck it, and I'm doing it. Not on the horn.
And then 30 seconds later, that the same the same the same the same the same that, the same the same the same that, the same th, the same th, the same th, the same th, the same the same th, th, the same the same the same th happened of like pulling up at the red light while we're directly next to each other and the person was just staring straight ahead
did not even like move their gaze slightly in the right.
Like the shameful look ahead. I was like come on confront me you know you want to.
We got a horse blinders on. Well I mean the fun thing though the fun thing in
America though is that if you find yourself at that red light with the driver you just honked out both of both of you both drivers can
point guns at each other yeah just a little no lack in challenge right at the
stoplight just put them to get out and punch someone here no yeah yeah exactly
well yeah I'm not getting out of my car that's because that's insane
I've got a 45 in the center console. I've seen quite a few videos lately that are
like I assume they're from TikTok you know poured it over to social media
platforms for old people. Yeah that's the only way I experience the tick tuc.
Yeah the only way anyone over 30 sure it's when the best videos get shared on
my Facebook neighborhood group. I get into a I get into bed at night while my wife's having a Tick time and I got to get like like like like the like to to to the like to the like the like the like the like the like the like the like the like the like the like the like the like the like the like the like the like the like th th. th. th. I th. I th. I they're like th. th. they're like they're like they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their their their their th. th. I th. I to to thi. I to to tip. I tip. tip. tip. tip. I the. the. I thi. I thi. I get into bed at night while my
wife's having a Tick-Tock time and I got to get her to like put headphones in
because otherwise I can feel the psychic damage. Oh man. She flicks through the
videos. Andrew that is such that is such a big problem in relationships.
I know needs to be talked about more. Women be watching Tick-Tox. Yeah, they'd be like, and it's just like, right as you're sort of like blissfully drifting off into Slumberland,
and then you just like out of nowhere, you hear just a blast of just shrieking audio
or someone, or just some mentally unbalanced person talking at you, yeah.
I've said this multiple times on the show, but my wife is constantly like, I am so tired.
I'm going to bed the bed the bed the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the so tired I'm going to bed at 830 p.m. and I go to bed at
like midnight and I just come to the open door and just see total darkness and
just her face lit up.
The glow, but the glow of the TikToks.
But I love the demon bazoo and the exorcist.
I've seen I feel like I've seen multiple videos off there of like just
just children showing their collections of guns like you know the heavily
modified like have you not seen any of these videos of like very young people all
going oh what are you holding and they're all pulling out you know like
it's some type of nine millimeter with an extended clip that they've
they've got auto switch
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm worried about your wife and the switch dog thing. She's not showing me those ones but
But yeah when you do have the vibes of anybody in traffic or on a playground could airhole you at any time.
It's a different it's a different thing. Well, I was actually I was thinking about this the other day and like, you know, using
the example of Australia and the gun buyback program that you guys pulled off after a massacre
that happened there.
And like, obviously in America, we're like, you know, 10,000 massacres beyond the one
in 1996, but obviously like, you know, it's off suggested that some sort of gun buyback
program similar to the one in Australia, would work here.
And I don't think it would work because you'd have,
like, what's the incentive to give your guns back?
And I think there needs to be a reward
if you do sell your guns back to the state.
And I think that reward should be like a get out of jailed,
to drive drunk. I think, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and, and, thi, thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and I thi, and, and thi, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the, and, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, the, the, the, the, the, the, and, the, the, and, the, the, the, the, and, the, the the, they, they, they. thi, thi, thi. thi. thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thithink you should be allowed to drive drunk or there should be like your blood alcohol limit should be raised in proportion to the number of guns that
you sell back to the government.
It's what every American desires most.
Because it's like, I mean, one's a tangible freedom that you're giving up in exchange
for a new and some way to be better freedom.
Yeah, I mean they're both, they both, they both endanger the public.
Yeah, you'd probably find equilibrium with the death toll for a little while there anyway. So like it's not, yeah. And then you just slowly wean that off the people who've been given
the 0.15 BAC allowance for giving up their 20 guns. I think you could really expand that program to just encompass a range of things and there would be like a tiered point scaling system where it's like you know
you give back a nine millimeter you get either like one one drink driving
offense or like eight shoplifting offenses you know you know really kind
really sort of spread it out I mean I think there's all kinds of
experience to be done with some sort of social credit system. Yeah, you know I mean it's
it works great for China but like for instance airports like a common
experience in America is like oh we're now boarding you know first
members of the military and I don't understand why those losers
get to get on the plane first. I think if you know recycled properly for a year you should be able to get on the plane on the the plane on the plane on the plane on the plane the plane the plane the plane the plane the plane the plane the plane the plane the plane the plane the plane the plane the plane the plane first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first first. to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th the. the. the. thr thro thea. thea. the the the the the the the the the the thro thea. thea. the. thea get to get on the plane first. I think if you've, you know, recycled properly for a year, you should be able to get on the plane first.
We, like, it's very interesting in Australia because we, we don't have
those kinds of vibes that much. We would never do that. However, you don't respect
your military, is that what you're saying? No, not at all.
Get out of here. That was your choice, you know.
But every now and then you see examples of people like trying to bring the troop kissing
stuff in and it's weird. Like I was at a school assembly for my kids recently, right?
Which, you know, when one of them's getting a certificate or something, they invite you down. Yeah. And, and like, they've started just recently, they've started going, and can everybody now stand for their th, like th, like to to to to to trying, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, something, they invite you down. And like, they've started, just recently,
they've started going, and can everybody now stand
for the national anthem?
And me and my wife look at each other and really?
And then everybody else does it,
and we both have to go, ugh, and begrudgingly get up.
I keep thinking it would be really funny to come out to the aisle and take a knee during
it.
But it's weird because like, because yeah like that never experience that in my entire life in
Australia.
Never been for an Aral game before.
Do they get people to stand? Yeah, it fucking sucks.
It's so weird. I hate it. And there's all that societal shame if you don't. Yeah. See like, yeah, like at a sporting events or something
like that, it's like, yeah, like, I'm not, I'm not trying to be a free speech martyr. I will
stand for the National Anthem. I will take my hat off, but my one concession to my own dignity is that I will not place my hand over to to thageee dignity thage dignity thian thian th. th. the the thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I will not thi. I will not the the the the the. thi. I will not theat. I'll the. I'll the. the. the. I'll the. I'll not, I'll not, I'll not, the. I'll the. I'll th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. Yeah. the. the. the. Yeah, I'll the. Yeah, I'll the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. theeat. I'm, I'm the. the. Yeah, no, fuck that. That, like, people who do that are out of their fucking mind.
That's very strange.
I will stand if they're doing it at like a footy game or whatever,
but I think because I don't want to be like king hit by some eel supporter behind me
who was in Afghanistan or something like, please.
The one of the one couple of guys, yeah, one of our war criminals, out of our arm.
Ben Robertson.
Allegiant, a legend.
I don't think you have to say a legend anymore.
I don't think you do.
I think it's on him now to kind of come good with the many, many, many, many accusations and piles of evidence against him for his war crimes.
You've got a perfect segue just sit there if you're sitting here.
Ah, committing a series of war crimes and then getting caught for all of them.
It's the one thing he didn't want to happen.
It must be time for, the one thing we didn't want to happen.
This is the one thing we didn't want to happen.
Now we've got, luckily we've got quite a few American-based stories, Will, so you
don't have to consider anything outside of the content.
Hey, I've been watching the World Cup the last week, okay?
I'm very, I'm very educated in what's going on in the world today.
This comes to us from military.
Hell yes.
Fourth Infantry Division accidentally tear-gassed its own soldiers during morale event.
Yes, slay.
Some 8,000 soldiers...
Some 8,000 soldiers were accidentally tear-gassed the day before Thanksgiving during a massive physical morale event in which soldiers scaled.
A lot of soldiers.
Thears.
This thanks gas the day before Thanksgiving during a massive physical morale event in which
soldiers scaled obstacles went through trenches and ran up hills. Division
leadership overseeing the event at Fort Carson, Colorado marked the boundaries of
the course with tear gas an unusual use of the chemical irritant given that it can easily
move with the wind. Why would you do that? Why did they do that? Okay. Okay why this? so so so so so so they so they so they? So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. thoo, thoooo. thoooo. thoooo. thooooo. thooo. their, their, their, their, the wind. Why would you do that?
Why did they do that?
Wait, why they're, essentially they're marking the boundaries of like,
like a 5K endurance chorus with like a tough mutter event.
Yeah, like, like, theasters and gear gas that are bellowing chemical irritants?
Yeah, yeah, with airborne chemical weapons, that's right. Yeah, I mean, it's my understanding that the American military has a significant budget and they like, I reckon that smoke
Smoke canisters would probably be even cheaper than the tear gas you could put up a fence fence. Or just like maybe or just a guy holding one of those like signs that they have out of auto dealerships where it's like deals this way. You could. You???????? You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You can. You can. You can. You can. You can. You can. It's just just put. It's the the the we the we can. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. Yeah. It's. It's. Yeah. Yeah. It's. Yeah. It's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the those like signs that they have out of auto dealerships where
it's like deals this way.
I mean, it's just sort of like pointing.
Keep running, keep running.
You can just give him a microchip like a dog.
When you get those things for your dog so he can't leave the backyard.
Get a little zap.
Like they should just have those like the people standing there with cups just splash you with bear mace instead. It's like it's like a little like Dixie
cup but instead of water it's just like Tabasco sauce.
Blah keep running.
Maybe directly for your eyes. Yeah. Now it turns out we didn't know that this could happen but it turns out that the gas did shift with the wind,
settling on soldiers who were not told ahead of time that they would be gased.
This was really, it's a good, it's Thanksgiving Chernobyl a style of event. The wind had been blowing different on military morale today, then Kiev would be covered in tear gas to this day. Oh man, they did not have gas masks. They stand a requirement
for any time chemical irritants are deployed in training. That's a good, that's a good safety
tip. It cannot be said enough if you're going to be using tear gas, having a gas mask is a good piece of safety.
I'd love to know how many of those bad boys they popped.. It th for th th for th. Yeah th. It th. It th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. Oh, th. th. Oh, th. Oh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi. Oh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, theea, that, thea, thea, thea, thea, thea, thi. Oh, th know how many of those bad boys they popped for this event,
because if it's a big cause...
Do you need much?
I don't know.
A little tea gas goes a long way.
Just a little dabble do you.
Quote, the purpose of this event was to build unit cohesion.
Leaders at Echelon participated in this event with soldiers.
D. McNutt, a Fort Carson's spokesperson told military.
their statement.
Well, I mean, I think mission accomplished if it's like, you know, like a team-building
exercise.
I mean, like, there's not to be a positive experience to find everyone together. Because it's like, yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, that, that, that, that, thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi., like, there's not to be a positive experience to bind everyone together, because it's like,
yeah, we got-
Yeah.
Remember how we all got tear-gassed on Thanksgiving, Eve?
Yeah, really makes me feel close to you.
I love that.
And everybody gets to be thankful the day after that gas was not intended to interfere with the formations, but to deter
participants from leaving the course.
Build a fucking fence, just build a fence?
What is wrong with you?
Just a regular old roll a chicken wire and do it, you know?
I'd like deter instead of prevent, like they're trying to provide a disincentive to do it,
but they're not actually stopping you. We'll let the market sort it out out out out out out out out the the the the the the participants the participants. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to deter participants, to to to to to deter participants, to to to to to their, to to their, to to to their, to to their, to their, their, the cet participants participants participants participants participants participants participants, to to to to to their, to to the participants participants participants, I to to to to to to to to to to to to the participants, I, I, I, I, I, I'd to de the their their their to de their their to de-a, I'd their their to-a, their their their their part part, their, their, their, their, to dea, theto provide a disincentive to do it, but they're not actually stopping you.
We'll let the market sort it out.
It's very, I would love to have been in the room where people were planning this out.
How many do we need, how far apart, I think we're all assuming that the air will not move
at all for the entire duration of November the 23rd? So it's a disincentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcentcent. th, th, we th, we th, we don't th, we don't th, we don't th, we don't th, we don't th, we don't th, we don't th, we don't th, we don't, we're th. th. th. th. th. th. th, we're, we're th, we're, we're, we'll, we'll th, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll th, we'll th, we'll th, we'll th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thoooo'''-a'-a'-a'-n'-a'-n'-a'er, that, thi, thi duration of November the 23rd.
So it's a disincentive but also we don't want anyone to get gasped.
I'm just amazing, we're not going to sell them about it.
Some sort of like a retirement party or like, you know, a girl jumps out of a cake, but
they set off white phosphorus to like just a little pyro. row. Gender reveal party?
Yeah.
Pink and blue colored gas.
It's pink or blue seren nerve gas.
Troops are often informed ahead of time about whether they may be exposed to tear gas
as a safety precaution.
Army guidance instructs that soldiers should not wear contact lenses given that the gas can get trapped between them and the eye
causing severe pain.
Owl.
Pregnant soldiers are also advised not to be exposed to tear gas due to possible health
risks. There are some evidence that exposure to tear gas can increase the risk
of a miscarriage. Why are you being a pregnant soldier?
Oh, you're going to tell mothers what they can do?
I am in this instance.
You can eat your sushi.
I don't care about eating the sushi and the breed, but probably don't be a soldier.
Yeah, I'm with you Lucy.
Get women out of the military.
Yeah, 100%.
Get them back. back home. Oh my goodness. It's funny though if it like okay if it's an obstacle
course that you like some sort of marathon style endurance event with like
obstacles where you're also to your guest if you set that up event not as a
military morale day in which you're unaware that you're going to be hit with
chemical weapons and just as like like something're going to be hit with chemical weapons.
And just as like something you pay to do for charity, like yuppies in New York would do this
every week.
Oh my god, absolutely.
If you call that tough gasser, yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
People be like wearing those shirts to like every casual Friday, like, oh yeah, I'm a gaser. I'm a gaser. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I I I I I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. I'm a gas. Iassing. Yeah. I got gassed at the Brisbane Tough Gass.
The Caloundra.
I'm pretty sure we've had multiple stories on this show about people doing the tough mudders in Australia and getting...
What is it that... what is it they get from the mud?
Like a disease? Yeah, one that makes them ship themselves, right?
Some sort of flesh-eating bacteria. Well, it's usually something that that that that that that that that that that the that that the the that the the the the the the the the the the, the th Like a disease? Yeah, it's one that makes them ship themselves, right? Some sort of flesh eating bacteria? Well, it's usually something where people are getting like,
I don't know if it's a result of doing them in like paddocks where they've had cattle and
stuff like that. So it's like swallowing a lot of fecal matter, those type of diseases, yeah, yeah, that kind of like, uh, just shitting, like, th.. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, they, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's like, it's, it's, it's like, it's, it's like, it's, it's like, it's like, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, that kind of like, just shitting and vomiting a whole lot. A little G-R-Dia or whatever it is.
Yeah, nice.
Yeah, the CDC says it's C-Colai infection.
Check out this new diet I'm on.
Fuck. Oh boy, well hey, as long as nobody was killed.
We'd hate to hear about people being killed, and that's unfortunate, because now it's time
for much to the dismay of some of our listeners.
It's time for the ripping report, the RIP-I-P-Ing report.
That's right. I'm itching for another edition of the Ripping Report. This is the
much maligned, intensely dislike segment. We've only done once before. They got nothing but
negative feedback. We'll go through the news the last seven days and list some tragic
accidental deaths that happened.
Here we go.
A Tennessee man died on Thanksgiving after he caught on fire while being defibrillated at
a hospital.
Oh.
That's kind of the one thing you don't want to happen as well.
Wow. Yeah, not good.
Which one do you think they listed as the cause of death? Probably the fire? I think what he caught on fire? th th th th th th th th th the th the th th the th the th th the th the th th the thi thi the news that that the news. that the news. that that that tho tho tho the. the the. the. thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes thoes the. Here the. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. Here. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean thean thean theananananananananananananan one do you think they listed as the cause of death?
Probably the fire.
I think what he caught on fire?
So they, so they, so they, what, it wasn't clear is what this story implies.
When they hit him with the paddles, it was just, you know, there was, I don't know, some like birch
bark they're just covered in tinder.
It was really unfortunate.
Were they defibrillating a scarecrow?
He was wearing a lot of Calvin Klein won,
and unfortunately it's a verifiable substance.
I mean, I think that we can definitely say for certain that the fire didn't help the situation.
Yeah, that's certainly true.
Apparently this happened sometimes. You just catch on fire. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. Were the tho. Were the fire, the fire, the fire, the fire, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're were were were were were were were were were were were were were were were they were were were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were. Were. Were. Were. Were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were thi. thi. thi. the fire. the fire. the fire. the fire. the fire. the fire. the fire. the fire. the firethat's certainly true. Apparently this happens sometimes. You just catch on fire. Yeah. Not often, obviously, because they probably wouldn't do it if it was like a,
hey, there's a 50% risk that you will become the guy from the rage against the machine album cover
when we do this. I have an unidentified driver of an SUV in Florida died after a collision forced their car off the road through the car park park of a fire work. the fire, yeah, yeah, yeah, and fire, and fire, and fire, and fire, and fire fire, and fire, and fire, and fire fire, and the fire fire fire, and the fire fire, and the fire fire, the fire fire, the fire fire, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the fire, their their their the fire fire fire, yeah, yeah, yeah, their their their th. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, their their their their their their, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, th. Yeah, their, their, their, their, their, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their. Yeah, their, the Florida died after a collision forced their
car off the road through the car park of a firework store and then subsequently
into the firework store which then caught on fire. Wow. They didn't. And then all
the fireworks ignited and then the person died inside the store. That's like a
John Landis movie and I mean like the Blues Brother not the one where he
actually killed those people. Not the helic- that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. That's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the Blues Brother is not the one where he actually killed those people. Not the helicopter. Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a real, that's the modern day Viking Pire way to die.
It's a hell of a way to go.
Real spectacle.
I'd be happy to die in such a comical way.
Like while it's happening you'd be like, oh you got a little bit of time to laugh about it, I guess.
A 72-year-old man in Livingston County, New York died after he ran over himself with a bulldozer?
Oh, come on now.
How? Yeah. Well, the theory is either he was doing some sort of repairs on it and it accidentally kicked
into gear or he left it in gear while he jumped out to do something and repairs on it and it accidentally kicked into gear or
he left it in gear while he jumped out to do something and then it
it oh my though it's like the yeah it's like the Anton Yelchin death
really really bad yeah hey we're pinning that one on Jeep yeah yeah yeah
fuck you Jeep you took our boy away from us unless it was another make of a car in which is a a to jep the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they. they. the the they. the the the they. the the the the the the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the you Jeep. You took our boy away from us.
Unless it was another make of a car in which case, apologies to Jeep.
And I have one more here.
A quote, elderly, that's the only bit of biographic information I have about this man.
An elderly man died in the town of Whitland in Wales after being trampled by a cow that
escaped from a nearby animal market. Well at least he was elderly. Yeah, thank God. Well, yeah, a
lot of the complaints about the last time we did this for about the age of the
people that died. So I'm making sure it's only old people this time so it's not as tragic.
Pretty fucked up. This guy was. This guy was walking through the middle of town where nominally cows should not be.
That's not your fault.
A cow was.
Yeah.
It's rough.
You think they're going to charge the-
And you believe there are some people who say we shouldn't eat these fowl creatures?
It's so fucked up.
You've seen what they're doing to elderly people in Wales?
Bovine elder of use.
We've got to get the the thi the thi to get these guys out of here.
And that concludes the ripping report.
Oh my goodness.
I think people are going to like it this time.
I think they're going to ask for it to come back.
We're going to turn people around on the ripping report.
Yeah.
Do you think they're going quotes from the animal marketplace where the
cow had escaped from and they didn't really mention that the cow killed a kite.
You'd feel bad if it was your cow.
You'd feel pretty bad, wouldn't you?
What happens to the cow after that?
Does it just go back into circulation with all of the other cows?
Where it becomes just a cow?
Which it is. I wouldn't want to cross that cow. Nice. I'd be getting rid of that cow.
Thank you.
We're going to ask you to come down to the station and work with a police sketch artist.
His name is Gary Larson.
Could you tell us more about these tools that the cows were using?
Putting five of them up, now can you point to which cow it was? No, they all look. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thuuu. thuu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. tho. that. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. that to to tho. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to come to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Wea. Wea. you point to which cow it was?
No, they all look, fucking they all look the same.
Calm down, okay, alright, let's not go there, all right?
I understand, tensions are high.
Oh boy.
Well it sounds like that cow is going to escape with its crime, and it must be time to check in on Crime Watch. That's right, it's Crime Watch.
This comes to us from WINS, the Wins in New York.
Man with 300 iPhones violently robbed near Apple's Fifth Avenue flagship.
Wait, did he buy 300 iPhones from the Apple's Fifth Avenue flagship?
Wait, did he buy 300 iPhones from the Apple store on Fifth Avenue?
And it was just immediately bugged?
Now I know it might sound like that's what happened.
Now we're going to need you as a special New York correspondent here, Will, to let us know,
looking at the details if this was in fact a rookie move.
A man carrying 300 iPhones was punched in the face and robbed near Apple Fifth Avenue early Monday morning, police said.
The 27-year-old victim was targeted moments after he left Apple's 24-hour New York flagship at East 58th Street.
The victim regularly makes large purchases from
Apple as he resells the phones through his small business.
Oh he deserved it then. That can't be a good business model? That can't be good.
He's charging more than they do at the 24-hour Apple store? How much can you possibly
put on as a little extra on top of the price of that phone to make it worthwhile for you to buy 300 iPhones from Apple at full price? With only, with only the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th only tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thoesels tho tho the thoesl. thoesl. Oh thoesl. Oh thoesels phones phones phones phones phones phones phones phones phones phones phones phones phones phones phones phones phones tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th phone phone phone phone phone phone phone th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi the the the tho to toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe toe thooooooo tho the the that phone to make it worthwhile for you to buy 300 iPhones from Apple at full price.
With only with only a small capital investment of $300,000.
I have managed to make $35 in profit. Yeah, I don't I don't get it because like Apple are
Apple are notorious for you can only sell their products for, you know, if you're a retail
you can only sell their products for you know, if you're a retailer, you can only sell their products for the actual price.
Yeah, same as Game's Workshop.
Yeah, if you buy one from J.B., Highfile, Big W, or wherever, or the Apple store, they're all the same price.
So there's no incentive to buy them at any specific place.
If you buy them off like eBay or whatever, the only thing that's going to make you want to get one from there is if it's cheaper than you could buy it from the Apple store? Maybe he's doing like a
value ad. And the person hasn't deleted all of their erotic photography from the
photo album. Yeah, get something extra. What if he puts like some little
stickers on there or something and then he knocks more than the price of the stickers on there? Maybe I'm just like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like I'm just just just just just just just just just just just just just like I'm just just like I'm just like I'm just like I'm just like I'm just like I'm just like I'm just like I'm just like I'm just like I'm just like I'm just like I'm just like I'm just like I'm just like I'm just like. I'm just like. I'm just like. I'm just like. I'm just like. I'm just just sort of like trying to process the mental image of what 300 brand new iPhones
look like.
Was he pushing it down the street on a fucking wheelbarrow or something?
Like they're in the box and everything?
Like yeah, they're in the box? I mean like 30, 40, 50 at most I can imagine getting
in a backpack?
Well, we have some detail on that here a store clerk put the phones
300 iPhone 13's in three large bags around
145 a.m.. Okay. Why are you buying 300 iPhones at 145 in the morning? This is perverted? This has to be the most effective way anyone's ever
come up with to get robbed. Yeah. You're making a $300,000 purchase at
145 a.m. on Fifth Avenue. As the victim was walking to his car, another car
pulled up alongside him. Two men jumped out of the car and demanded the bags,
police said. The victim put up a fight, sparking a struggle in which he was out of the car and demanded the bags, police said. The victim
put up a fight, sparking a struggle in which he was punched in the nose. The
thieves managed to snatch one of the bags before taking off in the car. The bag
contained 125 iPhones worth 95,000 dollars, according to police.
Oh my god. Yeah, that guy sounds like the sweetest lick of all time.
It's just like, he just came out of that sort of the neon sign flashing over him that said,
Rob me. I have, I have a hundred thousand dollars of merchandise easily in this bag here, ready to go.
It's a gift wrapped for you.
Yeah.
Get it delivered, like, this is psycho.
You can't even say I got robbed in broad daylight. Like you're out there in the middle of the
night. Cutting your $300,000 worth of phones around.
I mean, the only way this makes sense to me is if he like smuggles them into prisoners or something. That would be the only value ad I'm seeing here it's like the one you can't just
get buy an Apple product because you know they're so rare they're so hard to
come across how many how many cartons of American spirits do you think an
iPhone 13 is worth? What's the markup? Yeah. Man, like, I'm really struggling to picture.
I think we all are struggling to picture the scenario in which you can profit from doing this.
But at the same time, if you have the money available to go and buy 300 iPhone 13s,
he's obviously making money somewhere along the line.
I don't, I don't get it. Is there some way in which
you can sell iPhones to like drug dealers? Is he is he like jail-breaking
iPhone 13's for people and selling them for more? I don't understand.
I'm like I would assume that there has to be some sort of a black market angle
to this or like you said like hooking drug dealers up with them because this this doesn't seem like I mean like they had a car
ready to go so this doesn't seem like it was a random mugging.
I think presumably people were aware that this schmuck
was fucking buying $300,000 with the phones every week walking out of the phone
walking out of the phones every week walking out of the morning with twiddling his thumbs and whistling with a big fucking piece of straw sticking out of his mouth. Gawrish! I've got so many
cell phones for Sarah in the big city right right this way sir. Yeah no I mean it's
maybe it's an inside job maybe he insured all of the phones that the
phone's stuff. I've been doing some, doing a little bit of
maths here. He's carrying approximately 180 liters of iPhone boxes on him just
in terms of the volume that his purchase is, which to put that in some American numbers I believe
that is 45 gallons of iPhones. Imagine, imagine trying to run away from assailants or thieves on the the phone's, I believe that is, uh, thieves on the phone's. thi, that, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the phone, thi the phone, the phone, thi thi the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone the phone thi, the phone thi's, he the phone their their their their thi's, he's, he's, he's their their their their thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he thi, he's thi, he thi, he's thi, he's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's Imagine, imagine trying to run away from assailants or thieves
on the street like hauling that fucking load on you. Three boxes of that. Also, they're like point of
sale system set up to take a $300,000 purchase in one swoop. Well, they're after
I think, you know. Yeah, I guess so. Nothing but the best. And once again, also ridiculous
of him to do this and you know the current climate here in New York City
which is a 10,000 percent increase in crime over the last four weeks
alone. I've heard that. Yeah, I've seen I've seen five murders take place
in front of me just this week. So the idea that anyone's leaving their house
here in New York is a fool already to begin with, let alone to make huge huge
cash purchases of valuable luxury tech items. It seems like the amount of
violence that needs to be done with you to do to lose a hundred and twenty-five iPhones should be more than one punch in the face... the face in the face in the face in the face in the face in the face. He the face. He th. He th. He th. He th. He just just just just just just just one punch. He just one punch in th. He just one punch in th. He just th. He just th. He just th. He just th. So th. He just tho just tho-in th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So. So. So. So, so th. So. So, so th. So, so th. So. So, so th. So, so th. So, so th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. So, thi. I thi. So, thi. I thi the the thi the the thi the thi the to be done with you to lose 125 iPhones
should be more than one punch in the face.
One punch in the face wouldn't divest me of my one phone because I can't afford to replace
it.
Yeah, I take more than one, just from my one iPhone 13. Yeah, I mean this guy's got a bit
of a problem though because as soon as he gets punched in the nose or pretty much anything happens,
he either has to let go of one of the bags or continue being punched in the face.
He doesn't really have a lot of options. That's true. Like, that's okay. I mean, what do you... He took a bath on the iPhone deal, but I mean, like that's really only a side hustle. This guy's, this guy's main source of income
is flipping luxury automobiles and other good investments like that.
I'm just picturing like Robert De Niro and Val Kilmer and Tom Seismore,
all standing around a diorama of Fifth Avenue.
And I got a hot tip.
The guy looze up at 145 AM.
He's one relatively weak man with not a lot of good situational
awareness they will need a crack team of five guys I don't hope we need any guns
wean grow doesn't fuck this one up for us
oh man the victim was not seriously hurt and refused medical attention at the
scene police said I assumed you to embarrassment yeah yeah the MYPD has not yet to release medical attention at the scene, police said, I assumed you to embarrassment.
The NYPD has not yet released a description of the suspects or their vehicle as the
investigation continues.
Hey, citizens, be on the lookout for anyone with an iPhone in New York City of New York City
over the last day.
You see an iPhone 13, Please contact the police immediately.
Or 13S though, so that knows it's dead somewhat.
Are they are, are they fancier?
The 13 is?
I think they're slightly smaller.
Okay.
I assume that's, that's not gonna play into it at all.
Well, look, seeing as these guys had the inside scoop and everything, I think they knew
that they weren't going to need to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to bethey knew that they weren't going to need to be armed.
However, as you alluded to before, Will, many of the fine citizens of the United States
have chosen to exercise their Second Amendment right to stay packing at all times.
And so that brings us to this week's edition of The Clipping Report. Oh, that's a good one. Oh, that's a good one.
This...
This, uh...
Do you want to explain this segment for Will?
Yeah, the Clipping Report is a roundup of the last seven days of news in the United States,
where someone carrying a firearm has accidentally discharged that firearm around to other people,
but no one has died.
It's one of the crucial details.
You're not supposed to find with this one.
Yeah, sort of the opposite.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A 53-year-old man from Cowlitz County, Washington was shot while duck in a boat, when he grabbed
it to go off when he grabbed
it to steady it. My man's on some Dick Cheney shit. Yeah. Oops. He's got to
apologize to his friend that shot him. A man inside a pet store and Little Rock
Arkansas shot himself in the leg and hand when the gun he was carrying
accidentally went off. Why is he got a gun the the the gun the the the the the gun the the the the the the gun the the the the the the the the the the gun. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. the boat. the boat. the boat. the boat. the boat. the boat. the boat. the boat. the boat. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. th. th. th. tho. tho. the. the. the. theat thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the thoo. the tho. Arkansas shot himself in the leg and hand when the gun he was carrying accidentally went off. Why has he got a gun in a pet store?
In case, the pets get out of the hand.
Yeah.
Safety first.
A 34-year-old man accidentally shot himself in the thigh and the carpark of quick
response in the carpark of quick response.
Very quick response.
That's good. That's good. The response was still close by.
You nick that femoral artery, you only got about two minutes. That's a quick response you're going to need.
Do you think this guy was unloading, I assume he was unloading his handgun before going into the gun store?
I assume so. That was my assumption, yes. Which meant he kept that loaded gun on him right
up until...
Is that... Yeah, well, I mean, what if someone tries to, I don't know, pull a gun on you outside
of the gun store and you don't have your gun?
He'd be fucked.
A man fled the scene after a gun he was carrying in his pocket, accidentally discharged a shoe store
in Valencia, Mall in Los Angeles. Again, due to embarrassment, I'm assuming.
But also just having it loose in your pocket, just like, ooh, spook myself.
Got to go.
I mean, I think the thing though, like, other than the hunting accident one, I think like
the thing that the thing that these stories haven't common is that, like obviously, you know, obviously, the th story the the the the thin story thin story thin story thin story the thin story the the the the the thin story the the the the thin story thinks the thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks, thinks thinks that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks thinks the is the is the is the is the is thi stuff thi stuff thi stuff thi stuff thi stuff the the the the the the the thinks thinks thinks thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, the thinks, the thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, that's that's that's that's that's thinks, that's thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, thinks, th know, guns, that's the last line of defense in like a home invasion-style scenario.
You know, obviously every man's home is a castle and you need some sort of defense, right?
In case, you know, barbarians are at your gate.
But also give in mind that your car is just an extension of the castle.
And when you take your car is to, let's say, the shoe or pet store, when you go in there to conduct business or exchange money, that's also your castle. So it's important to basically be like John Wick at all times if you are engaging in the
service economy at all.
It's just, it's so fucking wild to me how many of these involve somebody like shooting
themselves in the leg just because they kind of bent over to pick up a penny or something.
It's very funny if the last thing you said before you shot yourself to death the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to up a penny or something, you know? It would very funny if the last thing you said before you shot yourself to death was
Ooh, a lucky day.
My lucky day.
Bam!
A security guard accidentally discharged his handgun while holstering it while working at a bar in Des Moines,
called Ricochet.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
The only injury from that was someone got some minor abrasions from
shrapnel from it hitting the ground. It's just quite funny. He got ricocheted at
ricochet. I got ricocheted at ricochet and all I got with these minor
abrasions. And then a large bar tab so that I didn't sue the bar. A 26 year old Minnesota man was accidentally shot by a friend while he and the friend were
both shooting at the same coyote.
What a pros up here.
Was the coyote, how should I put this, sort of clever or you might say Wiley?
He was unpacking a crate at the time. The coyote evaded their, uh, the coyote evaded the gunfire on,
Acme brand rocket skates.
I'm assuming in this case right that there were like two guys shooting at a coyote and the
coyote is moving like just running sideways and and they've both panned around,
and one's just shooting, shooting,
friend is in light of fire, bang.
Mailing, oh no and each other.
It's talking about like Val Kilburn and Robert DeNiro,
setting up the apple store heist.
I'm imagining these two guys,
the coyote job, like Robert DeNiro and Sean Bean and Ronin, where Sean Bean sets up the ambush, but like
De Niro just points out that both of the guns they're firing are directly at each other.
They're like, yeah, we'll just be on opposite sides of the roadside and when the car passes,
we'll both just unload bullets into the car.
The car will be in the roadrunner, the ta te. The car will be in the roadrunner, to prevent, thullulls, thulls, thulls, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, the, th, th, the, they're, the, they're they're their, they're their, they're their, they're they're they're they're they're, they're, they're, they're, they're they're they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the, the, the, thi, the, thi... the, thin, thin, thin, their, their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their. their. their. their. they why the roadrunner works alone. Yeah, well I was going to say it must be really nice for the coyote to get to be in the
roadrunner roll for once, you know.
We'll wait until he runs through the middle and then we'll unload on him.
Yeah.
They got road runed by the coyote.
That's incredible.
A 21 year old in grand shoot. handgun in the parking lot of the Fox River mall. Why, you don't need to unload your hand, I don't think you need to bring your handgun
to the mall.
Yeah.
That's wrong, Lucy.
Typical liberal.
Liberal fascist.
Well, I mean, like, yeah, unload it.
It's got to be loaded.
That's the whole point. You think I'm going to get caught lacking in, the parking, the parking, the parking, the parking, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to, the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, to, to, to me, to me, to me, you you to be. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. Typ. Typ. Typ. Typ. Typ. Typ. Typ. Typ. Typ. Typ. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. I. I. I'll. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I some of this stuff, sometimes some of our American listeners
will ride in and let us know how it's going for them.
And one of them was saying a little while ago they were like, I've had to ban guns in
my house because my father-in-law constantly, he has the two hand guns one on each hip.
Oh my God. It carries everywhere and he's like, I'm just,
I'm very worried about exactly this happening
in my house with my kids.
And I've had to tell my father-in-law,
you just can't bring your multiple guns in the house anymore.
Can you just leave him in the car and the house?
But then what happens if something happens between the car and the house thous thto that, you know, I mean, you said they're an American listener, but I mean,
I don't know, they don't sound American to me.
I mean, like, it's completely, it's completely unreasonable to be worried about someone carrying, you know,
someone kidded out like Arnold at the end of Rambo, who comes over to just say, hi their grandkids or something like that. Acc, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, like, like, like, thi, thi, like, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, like, like, like, like just say, hi, their grandkids or something like that. Like, accidents like this only sometimes happen.
I mean, they only happen enough that an Australian podcast
can do, I don't know, a weekly roundup
of such incidents happening.
But no, like, that's a completely irrational fear.
The thing you should be worried about is if a drug cartel attempts to kidnap you on your way to the Piggly Wiggly. In that case, in that case, you'll want to have the guns on you in case, you know,
in case someone tries to rob 300 iPhones from you.
That's right, when 400 commandos from the Sinaloa cartel drop in on your granddaughter's
fourth birthday party, yeah.
You will be so thankful that you had two guns on you.
Think about how much cooler the iPhone the have felt if as the two guys popped out
to jack him.
He was just like, well he could have dropped, drop the bags and like slow motion as they,
before they even hit the ground.
He's upholsted.
Bang, bang, bang, bang.
Or even cooler, he did the thing from that terrible movie with the Irish guys where Billy
Connolly has six guns. Oh yeah.
Boondock Saints?
Yeah, Boondacks.
That was the, that was the dumb guy movie of my college, college years.
Yeah.
That was the movie that was spoken of and hushed, in hushed tones about like, bro, you've got
to see this movie.
And, coincidentally, it was everyone from Boston who was a fan of that movie.
Yeah, I can see that.
A 57-year-old man accidentally shot himself in the left knee in his apartment in the goose island neighborhood of Chicago.
Oops, he's. Yeah. That where you guys are from? He's the goose. A man told police officers he was, quote, messing around and accidentally shot himself
all at a bar in Lubbock, Texas.
I mean, guns are fun though.
Yeah, that's the unfortunate thing.
It's, you know, they're good for fun and around with your friends at a bar.
That guy definitely said the words, hey, this out at some point before it happened.
I was just watching the classic movie Tombstone the other day.
Oh, a five-bagger, a masterpiece, absolute masterpiece.
That beautiful little scene where Johnny Ring goes doing his gun twirling in the saloon and then Doc Holiday
twelve his little cup you know it did make me think you would want to twirl a gun.
If you had a nice six shooter. It'd be really fun.
I love Tombstone because it really underscores how cool it would be alive to be in like
the 19th century in likethe American West, because it's
like you could smoke opium, you could fucking be drunk all the time, you could shoot people.
And as long as you'd like made a convincing case that they like cheated you at Faro or something,
like the law would just be like, this is a private matter.
Yeah, well, what did you expect to happen?
Did it happen outside the saloon? Well, what are we meant to do about it?
Oh, I feel under the weather.
Get me another bottle of Lordnum.
And finally, a man accidentally shot himself in the thigh while at the Cinemark, Tinsal
Town movie theater in Medford, Oregon.
Medford, Oregon.
Yeah. I just watched Double Indemnity last night, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, and there, there, there, there, there, there, there's, there's, th, th, th, th,, Oregon. Medford, Oregon. Yeah.
I just watched Double Indemnity last night, and there's a very memorable part of the movie
where one of the witnesses to the murder that takes place keeps saying, I'm a Medford
Man from Medford, Oregon.
So a bit of kismit for here last night to today, Medford, Oregon is on my mind. Do you think they stopped the movie?
No.
Depends on what movie it was.
Yeah.
Or was it just like, sir, can you just, stop screaming?
Stop screaming.
Stop screaming.
Stop screaming.
Stop screaming.
Sorry, I think, sorry.
That was my thigh.
That's me screaming. I took my wife to see. I, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, th. It's, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the th, the the th. It, that, that, that, th. It, th. It, th, th. It, th. It, th. It, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thea. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thigh. That's me screaming. I took I took my wife to see Richard E. Grant
at a local theater. He came came through town to talk about his talk about his memoirs and
making movies and his famous friends and shit. And he was like right in the middle of
doing some dramatic bit and somebody's phone went off in the crowd and he just stopped
and roasted him. He wasn't fucking around.
He was like, oh everybody stopped.
Are you okay?
Have you got it?
I was spitting my best Whitnail and I anecdote and this fucking prick ruined it.
That's right. Well he came out in the whithnail coat and everything.
Did a little scene. Good on him, you know?
Bloody good on him. I would like to, I mean, if I brought, you know, if I, if I, if I,
if I was, if I took a gun with me everywhere, I would like to take to the movie theaters,
because I would like to be so overjoyed by the movie that I just have to fire a gun in the Sam style. Yeah, exactly. Just of how like how moved I am by it. Plus if somebody's like
talking through the whole thing, crinkling, crinkle and wrappers and everything, you could just
do a little, just a little point. A little point. Little, little brandish, you know?
Maybe just stand up and lift the shirt. Just lift it up. What you don't want to happen, though is to go, hey buddy, stand up to like lift your shirt and the the the the the the the shirt, and the shirt, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, the, the, the th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, like, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, just, just, just, just, just, just, just to go, hey buddy, stand up to like lift your shirt and then you're an axed, bang!
That's probably exactly what happened.
I was actually just trying to threaten somebody.
The guy was like audibly reading the IMDB trivia while they were watching the movie.
This guy's like, no, hey, no court could convict him.
Do you, Will, do you get many of the theaters with like the motorized recliners over there?
Yeah, I mean, there's definitely a bunch in Manhattan.
None of the ones I go to like regularly in my neighborhood
have the big lounge seats where you know,
you have like the, you can like press a button and it goes, oh,
it goes back.
My, my local one is replaced thahahahah and I'm just picturing somebody, maybe I'm
picturing somebody overweight at the end of the movie.
Like putting the seat back up and as they fold up the gun is just compressed in their
wave line.
This spills out, goes off.
Bang.
Hi everybody, it's me.
It's Theo. Now I guarantee you I'm more afraid of recording this promo than you are of listening to it, so th so so If you haven't already, maybe check out our Patreon. It's a great way to support the show,
and it gives us the ability to actually dedicate time to this thing.
You'll get all of our bonus episodes, it's over 300 extra episodes in total,
and we'll set up a feed over there with none of these promos.
So you won't have to the to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the to have the to have to have the the to have the the to have the the the access to our Discord, which honestly is turned into a nice and funny place full of mostly normal people to hang out with. So that's Patreon.com slash
Bunter Vista. Check it out.
It's a bad vibe when someone shoots themselves during the movie. It must be time for omens
and portents. You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn his fire upon the ground.
You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon.
And you shall know that God is God, and bow down to his will.
This comes to us from the Denver Post.
What's killing dozens of cows near Mika?
State officials don't know.
It's probably somebody...
The relatives of a Welsh family.
What the fuck?
I'm not gonna rest until every one of them.
Something killed dozens of cattle around White River national forest lands in northwest
Colorado and state wildlife officials don't know what it is.
A rancher in the area first reported the death of about 18 calves early last month.
In Colorado parks and wildlife investigators initially thought wolves might be responsible.
That estimation was significant because the site sits a considerable distance away from
North Park where the state's only confirmed PAC lives, meaning that if wolves had killed
the calves, Colorado likely had a new and previously unreported PAC.
But now, the death toll has increased to about 40.
CPW Northwest Region manager, Travis Black told the state's parks and wildlife commission on November 17th,
and over the past few weeks investigators have found no evidence that the wolves are responsible.
Wolves, innocent.
Always, always blaming the, whenever livestock turns up dead, they always stick it on the walls.
It's perplexing, Black said.
We're scratching our heads a little bit.
We don't know exactly what has occurred up there.
Only as many as five dead cows suffered injuries that might indicate a wolf attack,
Black said.
Quote, missing tails, bite marks on the hocks and flanks and hamstrings, he said.
But there's no evidence that the wolves ever return to their prey,
which would be unusual unless the pack hunters have been spooked and were too afraid to return.
What do we think, guys?
I got bad vibes from this.
A predator?
I think in the ex-file stuff, you know, it's like the cow-eating alien.
You say predator, you're talking. Yes. Well, I think there'd be a few hallmarks of a predator attack, you know, spine removed, skin removed,
elaborate show-through with a proton cannon. Yep, tactical nuclear missile launched in the
area. Have we all seen, have we all seen prey? I thought it was very good and I liked how
it was just kind of cruising around and observing the different animals and going up, you're the best one I've seen so far, I'll kill you.
So maybe it's starting with cows.
Well, the predator comes to the planet and he starts out like on like a rattlesnake, which
is just like, okay, tutorial level.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay, let's start.
Let's start to start the level one. Okay, like, but in the, in in in in in in in in in, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. the, the, the, tho, the, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th.. I. I, th. th. the. the. threat. threat. threat. threat. te. te.e.e.e.e. te. te.e. te. te. te. the. the. the in the, in this news account of cattle mutilations, I'm sort of suspecting,
like if you read into it or subsequent follow-up reports, will there be a plot line about,
you know, the local, like, ranch or whatever, the patriarch recently died and then the sun came
home after many years abroad to reclaim this rather haunted estate?
And is there any sort of full moon involved as well?
I think this could be a likeanthropy skinwalker type situation.
I was definitely where my mind went.
I had assumed that this was a werewolf situation
because it had some hallmarks of a wolf attack, but not all of them.
It's sort of a of wolf and man type situation.
Well, and particularly something that would indicate the werewolf blood last,
but not necessarily having the stomach to eat all of the 18 to 40 cows.
Yeah, because the man.
Or because the, you know, the full moon only lasts so long and then next thing you know,
you're naked and the woods covered in blood.
Very badly needing to take a shit.
By the looks of... Or maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, the, the, the the the the, the, thi, the, the, the, the the, the the, the, the the, the, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th take a shit. By the looks of...
Or maybe this is some sort of gang of bodybuilders who have fallen under the sway
of YouTube masculinity influencer.
Yes, yes.
And they've taken their dietary advice to eat raw meat to a ludicrous new hide.
You need the freshest raw meat that you can get.
You need all the liver you can
find. Investigators used trail cameras and surveyed the area by flying over head at Blackset.
Several people had reported hearing howling over the past few years, but those reports have not
been confirmed. In one case the howls likely came from coyotes. A lab analysis of hair and
scat that might have belonged to a wolf came back from coyotes. A lab analysis of hair and scat that
might have belonged to a wolf came back in conclusive he said.
Where wolf?
It could be those alpha males. They're out there howling and doing like, doing man stuff.
Wacking on their balls. Yeah. Rubbing each other and having their shirts off and being nude in the forest. When you're with your homies, sometimes the blood gets up and then there's just like,
oh you're in a field with cows, there's only one thing to do.
Just give yourself over to an orgy of bloodletting.
That's what being a man is, you know?
I take off everything except for my two handguns.
Just in case anything happens.
Fully nude man except for those like under the armpit holsters.
Couple of Sam Browns on that.
Quote, we have no evidence of wolves in that area, Black said.
That doesn't mean they're not there.
Sometimes wolves can be difficult to locate.
Yeah, sometimes they're in the heart of man. That's right. I mean all the times I've th th th th I've th th I've th I've th th I've th I've th th th I've th tho tho tho' thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. Except thi. Except thi. Except tho. Except tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. Yeah, sometimes they're in the heart of man. That's right. I mean, all the times I've gone out looking for wolves.
Haven't found them.
Loom once.
During the investigation, two other possible explanations
emerged, Black said, wherewolf.
First is a type of bacterial infection.
Boo. If the cattle were sick, any sort of attack or chase by wolves would, it could have, I. I. I. the the, I. the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. times. times. times. times. I times. I've times. I've times. I've times. I've times. I've times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I times. I've times. times. times. ti. ti. ti. ti.s. ti. ti.s. ti. ti. times. I've times. I've times. I've times. I've t of bacterial infection. Boo! If the cattle were sick, any sort of attack or chased by wolves could have exacerbated their
illness and killed them, Black said.
Come on now.
This guy's reaching.
He doesn't want to say the W word.
That's his problem.
But when experts examined the dead cattle for such an illness, those results came back inconclusive as well.
I'm starting to think they've got like not much of a lab going here.
They're just taking all the stuff down to Gary at the lab and he goes, oh, oh,
the lab is just the local barbecue restaurant.
They're like, we'll process this evidence after we get a good smoke on it for about 12 hours.
That's it.
But yeah, they come back to the lab a few days later and he goes, I don't know, it tasks.
I don't know what to tell you.
Microscopic lesions that typically indicate such an infection weren't there.
And the second new possibility is that dogs used to protect livestock might have attacked or startled the cattle,
Black said. But those dogs aren't generally in the area this time of year.
Weirwolf.
Yeah.
Well, agreeing that it's a werewolf, you know.
Despite all the uncertainty, Black told the commission the investigation isn't yet
over.
In time, more evidence might come to light, offering an explanation
as to what killed the cattle. I hope so. I'd like a little update. I think that it's the park
ranger, dude. I think he's killed him. I think it's Travis Black, because, you know, he's making busy work for himself. Well, who benefits? Yeah, the park park rangers. Well and I think that he
is the werewolf is what I'm saying. Oh you think he's the werewolf, okay. Well
yeah, because like obviously you don't you don't want people to know about the
were wherwolf but you also it's your job to like provide some explanations,
which is why everything he's coming up with sounds like total bullshit. What if I think I think the cow, I the cow, I the cow, I the cow, I the cow, I the cow, I the cow, I the cow, I the cow, I the cow, the cow, the cow, the cow, the cow, the cow, the cow, the cow, the cow, the the the th. th. th. thi is thi is the thi is thi is thi is th. th. th. the the the the the the the th. is is is is the th. is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is is th. Is is th. Is is th. Is is th. Is is th. Is is th. Is, is th. Is, is th. Is, is th. Is the the the the the the thi is thi is the thi is thi is thi is thi is thi is the. the. the the the thee. the the the. the cows tripped and fell onto one of the other cows and it was a domino style topling of a series of cows.
They all got mad at the previous cow and bit them on the leg, causing their eventual death. I just think that cattle crimes like this are bound to happen in a country that has spent
two years systematically defunding the X-Files and Van Helsing departments of local law enforcement
agencies.
I will also point out this man has the same last name as the werewolf in the Twilight
books.
So, um, wow.
He's related to Jacob Black is what you
saying that. Yeah, well, yeah, because isn't isn't the deal in Twilight that they all just,
they all just like puberty style become werewolves? They don't have to be like bitten by one, right?
Yeah, they, it's either fits of rage or at will, and they're not weawilves, they're not werewolves, they're lycenthropes. Sorry? No, I called them werewals before.
That's not on you.
Don't worry about it.
Didn't know we had a Twilight Scholar on the show.
I've watched them a couple of times.
My goodness.
Folks, that has been an episode of the podcast,
Wintivista.
Will thank you so much for joining us. L Lucy th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, the thi, their, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to, to, to, to, thi. thi. to, to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to toooooooooi. too. too. to. to. to. th me. And once again, I'll be cheering for your soccer roos here in New York City.
Someone's got to do it.
The whole world, the whole world is rooting for Australia right now.
We stand with you.
Excellent.
Well, Australia is very used to getting excited about this kind of stuff, and then as soon
as the excitement reaches fever pitch, we immediately lose. It's gone. It's done. You'll be, th.the next group. Yeah. Yeah, we'll see how that goes
But obviously people can find you on Chappo Trap House. Yes, sir. And thanks to stop and bye. We'll see everybody next time. Cheers guys
Bye. Bye. Bye. you