Boonta Vista - EPISODE 286: A Routine Cockpit Hatchet Pranking
Episode Date: February 23, 2023This week it's: A floor gun in Texas, a mystery smell in Texas, an aircraft prank crime in Texas, a URL feud in Kansas, and a misidentified flying prank over Lancashire. The clicking was Lucy it tur...ns out. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at mailbag@boontavista.com! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista
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Hello and welcome to Bundavista episode of the tripox key.
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We're recording 35 minutes ago.
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Hello, and welcome to Bunda Vista episode 286.
I'm Theo, and I'm here at the Buntavista reference collection.
Now, while it may seem we goof off a lot on this pod, actually take our craft very seriously.
That's why we maintain a complete collection of all of our references.
We also publish specifications of our references under an ISO standard,
which is freaking ISO 69-420.
So come with us now for a tour through the reference collection.
But I like the Louvre. It won't take you all day.
I'm here as always with my good friend Lucy, who's using a tiny brush to delicately dust the cube from cube.
Hey Lucy, can you tell us a bit about your role here as a curator and maintainer of our references?
Like you just pretty much summed it up, like I'm mostly dusting this cube.
Tiny brush stuff, yeah.
That takes up like most of my day, generally.
So really, the scissophian task.
Yeah, and it's a union shop as well, I'd say.
Yeah, absolutely.
Someone else comes here and dusts your cube.
Better not. And of course, here's the air scape. Better know.
And of course, here's Andrew, and he's counting the number of slices of horse on our reference to the horse slicer from cell.
How's it going, Andrew?
All horse slices.
Yeah.
There's a lot of slices there as well.
There are. And then every time I get towards the end it goes whoshed and it like will squish back up again. Yeah I start walking down, walking down,
well the thing is you don't get those little security tags you know that they put
in the door frames. Yeah I like to sort of touch each thing as I'm counting it
but I am very scared of getting my finger caught in there. you can slap you you can slap a little bit of paper on there because it is wet so it will
hold.
Oh yeah, it's true.
The paper right there.
That's true.
And then you know, I get it done.
I got to go back and start the second count just to make sure.
Yeah it's like painting the references collection to a close,
we have Ben, with our third and final reference, the big long wire that cuts everybody on aboard the ship from the ghost ship.
Ben, that wire is super nasty dude. What kind of things are stuck to that?
See now, I knew you were going to say that one. Of all the things that we referenced frequently,
and there's a ton of stuff that we for no reason
bring up in nearly every episode.
There was four, I forgot shooter,
but then I also couldn't work it into the intro.
So, you know what the common element
between those three movies that you've seen. But also, because it's not just that we reference the movie Cube.
We reference the scene in the movie Cube where a guy gets cubed inside the Cube.
Yeah.
All right, so let's break this down. In all three of those references, something that is made of meat gets bisected or broken down into further components.
Wow! A horse getting sliced, oh my god!
This is, oh no, I was going to say that this actually works out in the three dimensions
because the cube is someone getting split into three dimensions.
Three dimensions. The slices of the horse, two dimensions.
And then it doesn't really follow with the cable from from ghost ship.
Being one-dimensional. Well the cable is one-dimensional. If you have a very strange
I just think about cable's work, that is certainly true.
Maybe we could start try to work in a reference to the scene from the Resident Evil
movie where Colin Salmon gets diced up by a laser grid. Well, okay. All right. Now, Andrew, have you read the agenda? Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, the the the the the the the the the the the the the cable, well, the cable, well, well, the cable, well, well, the cable, the cable, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, the cable, well, well, well, well, well the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable, the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the cable is the the the the scene from the Resident Evil movie where Colin Salmon gets diced up by a laser grid.
Well, okay. All right. Now, Andrew, I know, have you read the agenda?
Because that's actually next on the agenda.
So we're all closed off on the tour part?
All references accounted for, yep.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah. Let's launch into the next reference.
We could work ourselves up to a fourth dimension by including Cube 2, hyper.. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Andrew, th. Andrew, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, the, th, th, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Andrew, th. Andrew, th. Andrew, than, than, than, than, than, thean, than, than, than, thean, than, than, than, ourselves up to a fourth dimension by including Cube 2, HyperCube.
HyperCube.
Yeah, or something else with a Tesiract in it.
Some of a lot of tesaracts in our normal lives and stuff as well.
There was that film adaptation of A Wrinkle in Time.
A tesaract features heavily in that.
And also weirdly one of the the gems or trinkets in one of the Marvel movies is
that they call the tesract as well I think. I haven't seen it. Really more of a cube.
Andrew has. He's nodding his head. Well, they call right it's just a it's just a little blue brick
you know and at some point the the freaking what are the cubes that the
transformers are collecting? Enijon.
Ena John. Why do you know that? Seen seen the movie a bunch of times like everyone else.
Remember both of your children's names right now on the spot prove that you can. No sorry I've pushed that out
for for Energoncube yeah Enron Cube and also the song that plays when hot
rod picks up the end of so much. You got the tuh. Not not feeling that song? No.
The disturbed song used in the first Transformers movie, I believe, is called Two Worldss.
Hmm.
Good track.
What it's like when two worlds collide?
Which is featured, actually that's not what it's called, it's called When Worlds Couled by Powerman 5,
that's right. that's right.
It's featured prominently in the movie Little Nicky, which for some reason Maddie watched the first eight minutes of this morning while I was showering. Just eight minutes?
Yeah. That's how long it takes me to shower. She's never seen it before. I think that's just what she wanted.
Just like a little little Nicky mood. Yeah. I'm really stunned as a grown man by how, not only how much I can watch, but how much I enjoy a full movie of
Adam Sandler doing a silly voice.
You specifically, that is one of the least surprising things in the world.
Doing a silly voice is a really, like a, that's a way to phrase what he's doing in most
of his movies.
Well, yeah.
There would be a much more problematic way to express it, but I love little Nicky,
you say it, no I'm not going to say it, but you know what I mean, you know what I'm getting
at.
What if we were samurai?
That's right, folks.
We love to sit around and marble at the garbage that churns out of American culture.
We like to check in with them and see what's going on.
And we're going to do that this week on America Watch.
Probably need an America Watch specific one of those, maybe with some gunfire in it.
Yeah, we could have probably reused the Bernie Bro down
Howdown theme for that but we didn't we decide at some point that we were
going to do that in the interest of recycling? We repurposed it for something else.
Oh fuck. Oh, and there's no way of doing. We keep those records in a different facility.
Fuck it. If you've listened to enough of the podcast to remember the episode where we said,
fuck it, we're using the Burdy Bro-Down Hodown theme for this now, and you can remember
what the thing was?
Mailbag at Punta Vista.com.
I think it's for America Watch, but hey, we'll find out.
This comes to us from KTAB, the tab, because the K is silent, on that one, in Avaline, Texas.
Rising Star, third grader finds gun superintendent left in school bathroom.
Now, from reading this, a lot of potential here.
From reading this second sentence, I can, I can pretty easily determine that Rising Star is the name of the school and they're not congratulating,
they're not congratulating the child.
I was like they're just saying this fucking awesome third grader did this.
Yeah, rising, rising star is a town in Texas, just a little bit out of Abilene.
It's not like captain of the third grade football team or something.
No, they're not like the they're their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their or something. No, they're not like... He put all the clothes together, like, oh, the gun's going to be in the bathroom.
I'm more picturing that he walks out of the bathroom doing like the full gun twirling.
He's tossing it up, catching it behind his back, you know?
He knows his way around a gun.
A third grader in rising star found a gun, the superintendent left in a school bathroom.
Superintendent Robbie Stuteville confirms the third grader found the gun at
Rising Star Elementary School back in January and notified a teacher immediately without moving or touching the weapon.
So you told me the third grader was a pussy?
Yeah. Get him. Rising Star, third grader, too scared to touch a gun. That's the headline. Stuteville walked KTA B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. Robb. B. Robb. Robb. Robb. Robb. Robb. Robb. Robb. Robb. Robb. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. the. the. the. the. the. Rob. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Rob. Rob. Rob. Rob. the. the. Rob. Rob. the. Rob. the. the. the. the. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. the. G. the. R. R. R. R. R. R. the. R. the. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. G. S. S. S. S. G. S. S. S. S. S. G. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. G. S. the. the. G. G. third grader, too scared to touch a gun, that's the headline.
Stuteville walked KTAB and KRBC through the incident explaining that both he and the school
principal open carry on campus.
That's so cool. That's dope. That's dope. That's dope as hell.
Yeah, and there's no way it can go bad. Nope, until...
Because that gun stays attached to his hip at all times.
The thing is you've already you've already got like a power imbalance at school
where it's all it's all classes that are being run by adults with kids who are
I know I hear you in for a penny in for pay. I have to do everything that this adult tells me and then what if we just lay it on? What if we just lay it on the subtle threat of the, of the adult of the adult of the adult of of the adult of of of of the adult of the adult of of of of the adult of the adult of the adult the adult of the adult having the adult having the adult having the adult having the adult having the to to to to have to have to have to have the the the the to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to have.. to have. to have. to have. I the the th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. the. the. the. the. theate. the. thi. thi. thi. to. thi. the. the. to. to do everything that this adult tells me. And then what if we just lay it on,
what if we just lay it on the subtle threat
of the adult having a side arm
while they told you that it was time to come back in from recess?
I bet it's visible.
It's open carry, it has to be visible.
Yeah.
One of those leg strapped, leg strap holsters. It's tuck tucked tucked tucked tucked to to the th, it's th, it's th, it's the th, it's th, it's the th, it's th, it's the th, it's th, it's the th. It's thu. It's thu. It's the the the the tooom. It's tooom. thoom. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha, theaugh. thea. thea. ta. ta.augh.a ta.a ta ta.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. thea. thea. thea.pped leg-strap holsters. It's tucked into his guard belt.
I don't think the gun is necessarily as a threat
to the third graders.
It's probably more towards external threats.
I'm saying that the majority of these schools are probably not going to have a circumstance
where Superintendent Robbie Stuteville, John wicks his way to have a circumstance where Superintendent Robbie
Stuteville, John wicks his way to saving the student body. Well he wouldn't need a
gun, he could take someone else's gun. With a pencil, with a pencil to shoot them
with their own gun, so unnecessary. When he was using the restroom, Studeville says he
took the gun off and placed it in a stall where it was then left unattended for around 15 minutes until it was found by the the student.... the student. the student. the student. the student. the student.. the student the student the student the student the student to the student to the student. to the student. to to to to to to to s. to s-s. to s-s to s-s to s to s-s to s-s to s-s to s-s, to s-s, to s-s, to si to si-s to si-s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s to s the the their their their their their their their their their thexxxxeaxeaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxa. theaxxa. the. toxe. toxxe. toooseudeville says he took the gun off and placed it in a stall,
where it was then left unattended for around 15 minutes until it was found by the student.
I'm just going to put this gun here.
Okay, but that phrasing as well left unattended until the student found it as if the student
is now the person attending the gun. It's fine. The gun is now being monitored. The phrasing that also
makes it sound like he took the gun off, hung it up like, you know, on the little bag hook,
on the back of the toilet door and then like went off to use the urinal. Yeah, like it says he
placed it in a stall, like it, like not the stall he was in. Good point.
I think in reality though, the situation I'm picturing is that he went to take a shit and
as he drops his pants, he's like, oh, I don't want this just clattering around on the
floor.
Yeah.
Maybe it's on the hook and he just, and he gets up, turns around, and out he goes, and he gets, and he the the the the the he up, and he he, and he he, and he he, and he he, and he he, and he he, and he he, and he turn, and he turns, turns, turns, turns, turns around, opens the door and out he goes. The night before he had a four alarm chilly and he is sweating it out.
His mind's not exactly in the zone.
Yeah, he's not thinking right.
He's on a hair trigger here.
He's neglecting the strap.
He's not keeping that thing on him.
His brow is sweaty.
He's keeping on the floor of a middle school.
Elementary school. I don't, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He was th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's thin's thin's the is the is threaten's theeats, threaten's threaten's the is theeats, he's threaten's the is the is threaten's the't know how Americans do that shit.
Whatever they have. Elementary. Quote, there was never a danger other than the
obvious, the stooped bill claimed. I feel like that's a significant danger.
Amazing. Incredible sentence. Other than the fact that I left a gun in the care of a child.
Of a child,
of a child.
There was no danger.
I can't think of many higher dangers than that.
Like that's up there.
It's me and the top.
It's very obvious, though.
It's a bit pass-a.
There was never any danger other than the thing that this press conference is about. The thing that I'm speaking to the cameras about today.
That's the best attempt to wriggle out of something.
Other than the thing that I've done wrong?
I have done nothing wrong.
I've done nothing wrong.
My God.
He then went on to finding the firearm. Quote, this is one of those examples of guns in schools, Stuteville said.
It is? That's an example of a gun in school.
There's so-
I can think of several others that didn't go well, to be honest.
Check out the clipping report.
There is so much about this and about the pro guns in
school's argument that really seems to suggest that like guns being in the
school that's just part of reality that's part of the fabric of the
universe. Yeah what do you want to do about it? You could change that as much as
you could change the tides you know try to stop the sun from coming up every morning. you can't. And also there there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's the there's the the the the the the the the the the the pro the the pro guns the pro the pro guns the pro guns the the the pro guns guns guns the pro guns the pro guns the pro guns the pro guns the pro guns the pro guns the pro guns the pro guns the pro guns the pro guns the the pro the pro the the pro the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the there's there's there's there's their the their their their their their their their th. tho. tho. to go go go to to their thoooo. their their their the the the the the the the the the the you could change the tides, you know, try to stop the sun from coming up every morning.
You can't. And also, there's got to be guns in this school. I can find a way. He says,
regardless of who takes responsibility. It could be anybody. It could be who's going to be.
The child who found it. Anyone. Anyone. We're all part of this together.
It takes a village to look after my gun.
Regardless of who takes responsibility, they are a considerable danger and one should school
their child to be on the lookout for any unusual placement of a weapon
or anything out of place.
But yeah, I left it there as a lesson.
Yeah, make sure. I'm a true.
Imagine what would happen if something did happen.
Man, it's so funny to blame like, hey, you've got to make sure kids know about
this stuff. Because I'm a forgetful old man.
Who has a six- on his hand who might leave it
on the floor if his shit is particularly nasty.
I'm kind of imagining the grizzly alternative to this which is that a kid found his gun
that he left in the toilet and something bad happened.
And this guy then coming down to lecture all the students and say, well, you guys, you
didn't practice gun safety.
You know, parents should have taught your kids better.
Guns just lying around the school.
That's just part of life.
You guys should have known better.
Thursday night, Stuteville says the rising Star School Board is meeting to discuss the
incident.
This is at least their second meeting on the matter.
Going down to school to get yelled at again.
In the meantime, Superintendent Stuteville is no longer bringing his weapon to school.
Ah, freedom curtailed.
Because he's fired.
It sure sounds like that, doesn't it?
Uh, he is now.
Oh, he's.
Since this article was published, he resigned.
He was not fired.
But yeah, he's no longer there.
He is also, uh, he's way younger than you're picturing.
Oh.
Like if I'm picturing like a Texas super-
I'm pictu for old men. Yeah, pretty much. I'm picturing Superintendent Charlemers at all at all times.
What is that? I don't know what that is. This guy looks like he's in his 30s. Okay.
Too young. He should be in school. He's also in this photo he's wearing, I'm going to pronounce this wrong. But uh, uh, too young. He should be like. He's. Yeah. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's at at at. He's at at. He's at at. He's at at. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He th. He's. He's. He's. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. at. at. at at at all. at. at. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to pronounce this wrong, but
uh, you-
Shakuta Reeves.
Oh, thank you.
Yvolda?
It's the town where that, the Texas shooting took place?
You're gonna have to narrow that down.
The school shooting last year?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, if only there'd been a gun in that... Oh, Uva, yeah. The U one. Yeah.
Well, if only there'd been a gun in that...
Well, I mean, that's...
All right.
I mean, it's pretty safe to assume.
That's the shirt that he chose to wear to a meeting.
Oh!
What?
the treats?
To make a very clever point. Yeah. About the need for him to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the the to have to have the the to have the to have the the the the the the the the thu. tha the. the thoom. the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the ground. To make a very clever point.
Yeah.
About the need.
I'm sorry, what's the need for him to have a gun?
Yeah.
Incredible.
This is a guy.
I love how it says he's no longer bringing his weapon to school,
but not that the school no longer allows weapons.
Just him.
You've lost your gun privilege, you've lost your guns at school privilege.
Um, Lucy, I had to go backwards, but you say you don't know who superintendent charms is?
No, I said I don't know what a superintendent is. Is that just like a principal? Thank you.
No, it's got to be a... Not a zoomer. Jesus. It's got to be a, the principal's dad, right? Yeah, like, like a... Extra, like a mega principal, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, like, like, th, like, like, like, like, like, th, like, th, like, like, like, like, like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm to, I'm like, I'm like, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm to, to, to, to, to go, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to go to go to go, to go, to, I to, I to, to be a the principal's dad, right? Yeah, like an extra, like a mega principal.
It's like all of the teachers, uncle.
You're Valde?
You're Valde?
You're Valde?
Well, that's what the thing's saying to me, but I don't know.
So he's wearing a shirt just saying that.
Yeah, I think maybe
trying to justify their stance as to why these guys carry guns. Seems like he might have maybe
whiffed that one. Yeah. I'm starting to think that I want to move to this town because I think
that the way everybody is described would be a really good like ego boost. I think I think it would
make you feel good about yourself. For example, Rising Star Police Chief Don
Braille confirmed there is an active investigation. You know I've heard great
stuff about that Don Braille is really going places. Mm-hmm. Rising Star
Podcaster, Andrew Law. Rising Star garbage man, you know, Andrew law.
Everybody's getting in on it, you know?
Yeah.
Uh, Chief Bradley says the Eastland County Sheriff's Office took a phone call,
and that was the first time anyone had alerted law enforcement,
despite the gun being found in January.
Do they even...
Okay, but what do the cops need to know about this? Hey, a kid found a fucking gun. th th th th thue thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu- thu- thu- thu- thu- thu- thu- thu- thu-in thu-in thu-a thu-a thu-a thu-a thu-a thu-a thu-a thu-a thu-a thu-a th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than than what do the cops need to know about this?
A kid found a fucking gun at school and it was because one of the dipshits that worked
there, shit so bad he got short-term memory loss.
I'm hearing a lot of ad homonyms there, Ben, not a lot of logic.
I think, I think you're wrong Ben and the issue is in fact that a child handled a firearm without an open carry license and they need to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th fu th fu th fu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu-fu-fu-fu-fu- thu- thu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-f thu-f th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu thin thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu the issue is in fact that a child handled a firearm without
an open carry license and they need to know what to charge the child with.
That's right.
That's right.
You got it.
Yeah.
Need something on the books.
That kid only has the implied concealed carry that the tex as a god-given right.
That's right. Get that kid, lock him up. Try it as an adult for
sure. Lock him up. KTAB and KRBC asked Chief Braille if there is also an
investigation underway into the failures of report and he said he is currently
looking into the legalities. He said this on speakerphone miming looking through a book.
It's two things you're asking him to do, like give him a break. Oh you want me to look
it up? You want to do two investigations? Yeah. We've got an investigation happening already. Please.
Give me a break. Hi everybody, it's me. It's Theo. Now I guarantee you I'm more afraid of recording this promo than you are of listening to it,
so hear me out.
If you haven't already, maybe check out our Patreon.
It's a great way to support the show and it gives us the ability to actually dedicate time to this thing.
You'll get all of our bonus episodes.
It's over 300 extra episodes in total and we'll set up a feed over there with none of these promos so you won't have to hear this ever again. You'll also get access to our Discord which
honestly has turned into a nice and funny place full of mostly normal people
to hang out with. So that's Patreon.com slash Bunter Vista. Check it out.
Boy. The legal system. It stinks.
Hmm. Boy, the legal system, it stinks.
Mmm.
All of them?
Well, the Texas one, how about that?
Oh, okay.
Do you think we can say that the Texas legal system stinks?
Yeah.
The Texas legal system, it stinks.
And what else stinks?
You can find out on what's that smell?
It's not what's that smell. It's not what's that's now. It's that's now. It's that's now.
It's D- it's D-
And the truth is,
and I feel so angry.
And the truth is,
I feel so angry.
And the truth is... I feel so fucking sad.
And the truth is...
things like sex in here.
So what should it be called for you?
That is still, uh, things that...
Smells the Maki-Hum.
Alright, it's just you sent me an intro thatthat was named what's that smell? The matically.
Yeah.
And then and then the guy says what's that smell?
I think that's kind of I think that's kind of part of the bit.
Yeah, like I'm not all comedians but the bit.
Which of us are?
Name the funny ones.
It's not.
Tax are not.
. Texan not or clearly not me. I mean I've got a job
We all yeah, okay. Hang on We'll litigate this afterwards. Yeah, yeah, right down now which of us you think is the funniest and then
Send it to someone who isn't us
From KVII news the KV in Amarillo, Texas
Oh, that's a town to live in source of mystery smell in hemp hill. to county under a to the city. It. It. It. It. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to wee. We will. We will. We will. We will. We will. We will. We will. We will. We will. We will. We will. We will. We will. We will. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toe. We'll to to the. Hang on to the. We'll theillo, Texas. Oh, that's a town to live in.
Source of mystery smell in Hemp Hill County under investigation.
Yeah.
What could the smell be in Hemp Hill County?
Yeah, token on that, on that weed.
Yeah, I'm doing the hand gesture that the most annoying person you've ever met in your life does to signify that they think someone's smoking smoking the the the thoing thoing the thoing the thoing the the thomomomomomomomomom, thi thi thi thi that weed. Yeah, I'm doing the hand gesture that the most annoying person you've ever met in your
life does to signify that they think someone's smoking weed.
You've got to make this noise though.
I think he's been puffing on a little bit of that Jimmy Hendricks Origano.
Hmm.
He's been toking on the devil's lettuce, I think.
The source of a mystery smell in Hemphill County is
under investigation but it's no longer believed to be natural gas.
Well, that rules add it down. One thing that smells. It could be any of the
other spells. Yeah, let's list them all off. Yeah, I think that's what most of the
investigation has been so far is like just listing
smelry, lavender, ummmi.
Sage, wait, let's stick to herbs until we get to the end of them.
Uh, sheriff and Brent clap.
Mmm. You can't be called Brent and be the sheriff.
Shout out to the guy that got in touch to let us know that we completely over act to act to act to act to act to act to act to act to act to act to act the to act the the to act the the to act to act the the the to act the to act to act the to act to to to to their their their their the their. their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they. they. they. they. they. they. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they.... If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If, th. If. If. If, te. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If. If, te. If. If. If. If, te. If. If, th. If, th. If, they. Shout out to the guy that got in touch to let us know that we completely overact to
American names. He's just sitting there nodding, yeah, I know a Brent clap.
You know a Sheriff Brent.
I am Brent Clap.
No, I'm Brent Clap.
If you're a fan named Brent Clap.
If you're a fan named Brent Clap, you're afraid of writing. Two p's though, don't write in if you are.
If you're a single p.
We do not want to hear about that.
Not interested.
I only want that pee-pee.
Theo is the comedian.
He got me.
He got me.
Congratulations, you are the comedian of the week.
This week's clown.
Okay. This week's clown. Uh, Sheriff Clap said his office received reports of a natural gas smell.
Oh, well it's probably natural gas.
From south of Canadian.
Yeah, they probably talking about oxygen.
Yeah, from south of Canadian.
South of Canadian.
Natural gases.
I'm sorry, I'm just, I've just being told the location of a place
which is making me think I've had a small stroke.
Oh, well, why don't you keep reading and then get to the next part.
Yeah, Texas is south of Canadian land or whatever.
A natural gas smell from south of Canadian by the dinosaur all the way to Higgins.
All the way to Higgins. All the way to Higgins. South of Canadian, by the
dinosaur, all the way to Higgins. Is this a straight, stinky shot to Higgins?
Canadian Street Amarillo. Oh, this is a quest marker from New Vegas. Canadian Texas. I don't say right.
It's a fucked up concept.
Canadian is a city?
Canadian Texas.
Denim, denim hat, denim chaps.
They say a partner at the end of every sentence.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You are not the comedian of the week
Yeah
We're already giving that one out sorry
Shit, West Texas gas and energy transfer put together a team to try to find a source all the biggest noses in town. Yeah, every time we get one of these stories
that it's about trying to figure out what a smell is,
it's all I can picture. All I could picture is them just going around town,
rounding up the people with the biggest honkers and saying, all right, get on a segue,
zip around. You there, big nose.
All right, I got to say I amthe fan of the Canadian Texas dinosaur.
This is a bright green sauropod on top of a hill in beautiful Canadian Texas.
That's a cool little roadside attraction they got going on there.
It's bright green. Yeah. That's just nice.
Hmm.
The hill though that's on.
Oh dog shit, that's a terrible hill.
Terrible.
Glad they smither.
Have you ever heard of grass?
Yeah.
Get him.
Quote.
All detectors deployed by pipeline companies failed to detect natural gas or other harmful chemicals said clap
No pipeline company detected any leaks or drop in line pressure suggesting a leak
Clap said that the source of the odor is as yet unexplained, but all parties involved agree. It was more of a chemical odorized natural to odourized natural gas.
Because as we all know, they put the smell in.
They put the stinky smell in.
Yeah.
I, you reckon you could get that like, just in its own form?
Just the smell?
Just a jar of like stinky smell.
Well, I would put it into a perfume bottle.
Yeah.
Nice little, nice little squirt of natural gas stink before you go out. I don't
want to sound like a I don't want to sound hysterical or like a conspiracy
theorist but I will say this is a second story we have in a week of a state
that's like a fair way from Ohio having a random chemical smell. That's true.
Mmm. Yeah you could say that but that
would be kind of a bummer. That's right. You are not the comedian of the week. No I'm wearing
the other comedian de l'arte mask the sad one. Oh no I'm the tragedian of the week.
You don't want to be stuck in that one for the week. No good.
So here's a fun fact about the smell from natural gas. It's the same smell that you make when you piss asparagus.
Is it? Yeah. Did you just make that? Chemical composition wise or just like subjective experience? No, methenithial. Methenethial, methanithio, methaneithel. That's nasty.
I'm not fucking with asparagus.
I don't want to smell that.
You can try and put the emphasis there if you want to give that a bash.
Methiodofadol.
No, I'm good.
Okay, yeah, same smell.
You guys eat as asparagus? No, I'm good. Okay. Hold it. Same smell.
You guys eat as asparagus?
Yeah, you got to imagine the smell of asparagus.
You just get used to it.
You just, you're embracing that.
I don't never think anything's ever been noticeably different about my piss.
Like, unless there's some insane amount of asparagus I'm supposed to be eating.
No, no, no, no, no. It's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's a. It's a. It's a. It's a the it's a the the the the th. It's a th. It's a th. It's a the the the the th. It's a to. It's a to. the the to. the to. the to. the to. to. the the the. the. the. the. the. the the. the. the. the. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a to. It's a to. It's a to. It's a to. It's. It's a to. It's. It's. It's a to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. It's. It's no, no. It's a any and all kind of thing. But, and this might be
an urban myth, but there are genetics for whether or not you produce the smell and whether or
not you can smell the smell. So I know I'm a producer and a smeller. Andrew, if you want to bring
some of that, some of that piss over here to Queensland. I can give a sniff for
you. You would know which one you are. You'd have to smell someone else's piss
to see if you were a smeller but not a pizza. Yeah, that's why I'm sending it to
the thi. Yeah, we're narrowing down. If I can't smell the spargas in his piss that means that he is not a producer but he also might not be a smell is why, while he's up here, he can smell some of mine.
Yeah, I think I'll do the Pepsi challenge.
I'll send it to you in what is the best possible way.
The Piss-P-P-P-P-P. Yeah, P-Piss-P challenge.
The P-Piss-Pch-Pi challenge.
Everyone's doing it. It's all th- It's a really, th a really fun urban myth as well, because a lot of the other ones are about waking
up at a bathtub full of ice with your kidney removed.
Yeah, that's not a myth.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Uh, Kansas, Texas.
Oh, Amarillo, Texas.
We're so good at podcasting. This is incredible. It is eight hours and seven
minutes by car to get to Topeka in Kansas. So close your eyes for a moment and
imagine if you will a very fast flashing sequence of you flying down the highway as we take you
to Topeka Kansas for Grudge Watch. This is of course the storied segment we've done for countless years where we cover
grudges, vendettas, feuds, long-running gripes, neighbor disputes that you would see on a
current affair etc. This one comes to us from KSNT News in Kansas.
The Kossuntite to you as well.
Topeka restaurant owner in dispute over website naming.
Casey McLennan is the owner of Little Russia little Russia.
Check out Topika Kansas' Little Russia. The Russian corner in
Topeka? Oh my goodness. I bet it pops off there. The Borshed? The vodka's? The porogy? Is that
Nope? Polish? Been a lot of racism down there recently though. Oh well. He hates it. Well, well, what can you do?
Oh well? What can you do? Oh, well? What can you do? racism down there recently though. Yeah, oh well. He hates it. Well, you know what?
Oh well, what can you do?
Division is an unfortunate product of human society.
You just have to live with it.
With any new business, advertising is important.
So you can imagine the disbelief he had when he found out that he wouldn't be able
to use the unique name of his restaurant when registering his domain.
Little Russia Chili Parla taken. Chilli Parlor dot com that's right. Boy you really think
that'd be available. Yeah. What might first be looked at as a coincidence
that would be just a genuinely insane coincidence. That would be a wild
coincidence. That'd be so crazy. What might first be looked at as coincidence quickly turned into a
dispute.
Not only does the person who purchased Little Russia Chili Parlor.com not own a restaurant
with that name, the person who purchased Little Russia Chili Parlor is a neighbor living
in Topeka.
That's so good.
That's being on your grind.
That's looking at your neighbor's restaurant, being like, oh, doesn't have a website up yet.
Plus I hate that guy.
It's a great move. I like it.
I'm so desperate to become the comedian of this week's episode that my brain was like,
Pokemon Go Daddy to the Pulse, which doesn't...
It's seven elements that is not...
Yeah.
And for Poles we mean Polish people.
I've just attached a photo in there, in the chat here so that you can see this this beautiful venue. Which appears to be, it looks a lot like maybe a barn that fog-horned would come walking out of in a leadership episode.
Holy fuck I would love to go there so much.
All of the text on it looks AI generated.
I actually can't...
It does! What does that say?
On the side? I think. Yeah,? Oh, Coca-Cola, I think.
Yeah, above the Coca-Cola part.
That is AI-generated text. That has the same form where you're like, well, there's the shapes of letters.
No, it's the, it's the, it's the, the venue was previously, Porobsky's deli. All right, well that. And anyone could get up and take that sign down, you know, whatever you want.
That word underneath.
Is that just GROC?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Just got to go down and get some Grock.
I said anything.
I'm going to the Grock. It's a problem that has the new owner of this restaurant hot.
So I think that's a chilly pun, but it makes it sound like he's turned on.
Because someone's denying him the URL that he wants so bad, but he can't have it.
Tell me how much you want that URL.
They're holding the URL up above him and dangling it around and he's trying to jump up
and get it but he's so small, he's so small.
And they're really tall as well.
They're so tall and they're holding that, this podcast is...
They're being so mean about it too.
It's seem brady?
Kind of brady almost.
But the key words of the business name, Little Russia Chili Parlor, are not in the
domain name we are currently utilizing at 508 pickles.com.
Because they're already retaken.
That's 508 pickles, by the way.
This place just sells chili and sandwiches, but I've just learned about something called
cowboy candy, which is candy.
Oh.
And you can get a quart of it.
Whatever the fuck that is.
Whatever that is.
I love America so much.
Boy, candy.
Quote, so it changes the efficiency of the website marketing.
The biggest challenge of any business is letting people know you exist.
I think it's being a good business first.
Cooking the chili and stuff.
Yeah, how's that chili?
Having good chili, like focus on your chili.
Before you complain about your SEO, tell me how that chili is.
Do you have that chili that makes people say,
holy fuck, I'm going back to whatever that place was called.
Which by the way I googled it it was the first result. No one's typing in a URL. No. No 22.
Well I think they do things a little differently in Topeka Kansas. When it
comes to registering a web address it's first come first serve.
KSNT TV called the man who purchased it several times. He works for the state's health department, but he did for a turn the calls requesting an interview.
Let's put this guy on blast.
I hope he did like a food inspection there was like, no website.
All right, writing that down for later.
The cool thing is there's nothing on the site either.
Like it's just just it's parked and
Yep, it's not free courtesy of go daddy.com beautiful
I wasn't getting anything at first because I've got like ad blockers on and it's just one gigantic ad
So it didn't work obviously didn't get his get the bag for this Well, he's he can write it out. What if little Russia chili parlor expands to being a global? It's? It's to be a global operation? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's? It's like. It's like. It's? It's like. It's? It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's like. It's. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the bag for this. Oh, he can write it out. What if Little Russia Chili Parlor expands to being a global
operation? A chain. Mmm, then you gotta get that URL. That's true.
I'm sure that he looked out the window and thought, little, little Russia
chili parlor, that's gonna be the next McDonald's. You know?
Yeah, I think that'll be it for sure.
Quote, we talked about pricing back and forth, and I didn't feel like I wanted to be held hostage
to something like this, McClennon said.
I feel like I shouldn't have to be paying, I shouldn't have to, I shouldn't be having to pay 10 or 20 or 30 or 100 times what the domain registry to to th th th th th th to th is th is the domain, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I didn't, and I didn't, and I didn't the, and I didn't thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I th, and I the, and I the, and I the, and I the, and I the, and I didn't the the theeeeeeean, and I didn't theeeeean, and I didn't theeeean, and I didn't the, and I the, and I times what the domain registry fee would be. Oh, is that all?
Bargain.
I mean, that's still...
It's like 200 bucks, right?
Is it?
$20 or whatever, right?
A hundred times that?
That's a lot of cash.
That's a thousand bucks.
That's right.
Sorry, some of us aren't used to the finer things. Okay. $1,000 domain, that's a... Yeah, I remember you roasted me about how much I paid for a kettle, so...
Yeah, you got a fancy kettle.
I know much.
Russell Hobbs' kettle.
I don't know what that means.
I have literally no idea what that means.
It's just, how much was that?
It's fine, hey? What, what's it like? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? th? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It's? th? It's? It's? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It? It's? th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. It's? It's? It's? It's? No, I mean yes to a hundred. How much did it cost? Say the number.
90 bucks. Oh. Kettles cost $15. I bought one kettle for $15 approximately, what year is it?
Fifteen years ago, never de-scaled it, and it is going to rest. I bet it looks so good inside.
I'm never looking in there.
There's nothing to worry about in the Brisbane water.
I feel like I'm getting more calcium from the calcium buildup inside the kettle.
And calcium's like good for you. It makes my bone strump.
The kettle can only hold so much so the rest is going to you.
Yep. And I win as the consumer of the calcium that's in my horrible kettle. Sir, your bones are too dense. The. The the the the the the the thi thi thin in in in thin in thin in thin in thin in thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin the. The the. The the the the the the the the. There's the. There's the. There's the. There's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's the br the br the brism the brins the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. the the theeeeeeeeea. thrie. thea. thea' thea' thriea' thea' thriea. thrie. th consumer of the calcium that's in my horrible kettle.
Sir, your bones are too dense.
We were having an issue with our tomatoes getting like a bottom rot.
Wink on the big ones.
And Elinon looked up and said, oh, it means that they need calcium and you meant to
get powdered milk and put it in your watering can.
Give him a little bit of milk.
Give you your tomatoes a bit of milky.
You're not growing bones?
I'm gonna need to dial back to the
the wink on bottom rot for you to explain what that could be.
Like, hmmm. Let let your imagination run wild, my friend.
McLennan says what is going on feels predatory and unethical.
All they want is to be able to...
Yeah.
All right, yeah.
Have you checked?
Have you looked around?
Were you about to defend predatory capitalism?
No, I mean, that's just the nature of what we live in.
The invisible hand of the market is slapping the head of your penis, and you're just going to have to deal with that. And you hate it and you wish it would stop doing it.
This guy, look, this guy needs to learn. He lives. He lives in capitalist heaven and this
is just supply and demand. This other guy has got all the supply of little Russia Chili Partler.com domain names. And he, he has the demand. If it's his neighbor, this is got to be th. And, and you th. And, and you, and th. And, and th. And, and th. And, th. And, to th.com domain names and he hears the demand.
If it's his neighbor this has got to be personal like he hates this guy right?
Maybe go over there and shoot him with your gun. Yeah. Or before you blam
murder of the gun get a dot-net web address. Yeah.
Little Russia chili parlor dot net that's not so bad. Yeah fine.
Down around how's a dot net URL and those guys seem to be doing okay
And they know all about this stuff. Yeah, they're sort of tech heads the kind of tech whizzers I've
Hmm well good luck to that guy. Maybe just focus on you chili. I think that's the yeah, let the let the chili speak for itself. Just put some dashes in there or something. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh???? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. tr. tr. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. true. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. ththink that's the, let the chili speak for itself. Just put some dashes in there or something? Oh, don't put a dash in your, you know, that's fucking hideous. Oh, God
no. I'm just having a little look, you could get co, you could get dot store, you can get
dot shop. How old to me? Little Russia Chilehouse dot gay. Yeah, that's right. There's all those those new top level domain names. Oh there. Oh there there. Oh there. Oh there. Oh there. Oh there. Oh there. Oh there. Oh their their their th. Mm-hmm. Oh, that's right.
There's all those new top-level domain names.
I forgot about that.
Oh, really?
You can get Little Russia Chili House.
to-Coulauce.
Yeah.
Pretty cool.
You could get it dot horse.
Yeah.
What about Little Russia Chili House.
that restaurant.
Yeah. You could get dot rodeo.
Yeah, you're in Texas.
You don't need a URL again.
It's 2020.
That's right. Just sitting in here writing.
Yeah, just sign into Facebook again.
One last time.
You know.
My goodness.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Okay. Yes.
Hey, this guy must have thought to himself.
Does my neighbor hate me or is he playing
some kind of sick joke on me?
Speaking of people who think that someone might possibly be paying a sick joke on them,
it's time for plainly speaking.
This is your captain speaking.
Please return your seat to their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition
of Plainly speaking.
This comes to us from CNN.
Pilot thought instructor who died in flight was quote, just pretending.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But we're hearing about it, so it's sort of given away the end of this.
Yeah.
That would be pretty funny though like as a gag.
Like it would be good.
To die.
Yeah, like to pretend to die.
Tell my wife I loved her.
It's a bit of a weekend at Burney's kind of vibe.
A flying instructor died in flight after suffering a cardiac arrest. It's a bit of a weekend at Bernie's kind of vibe.
A flying instructor died in flight after suffering a cardiac arrest, but his co-violent
thought he was fooling around and only realized after landing on the runway with the man slumped
on his shoulder.
So it would be a weekend at Bernie's kind of vibe if Bernie had pretended to be dead and that
allowed them to let him
to pretend that he was alive. Okay good just double-checking the through line on
that one. According to a newly published safety report on the incident the pilot
thought the instructor was pretending to be asleep as the pair flew a circuit above
near Blackpool Airport in Lancashire, England on June 29th 2022. The qualified pilot asked the pair flew a circuit above near Blackpool Airport in Lancashire, England on June 29, 2022.
The qualified pilot asked the instructor to accompany him aboard the four-person Piper
P.A. 288 for safety reasons during windy conditions, according to the UK's air accidents
investigation branch. Prior to take off, the pair chatted normally, what'd you guys talk about?
Just normal stuff.
It's just normal stuff.
Yeah, regular stuff.
Football.
Uh, the pub.
The pub.
Peel Pie.
Simple as.
Uh, they chatted normally while the pilot taxied the craft out to the runway. The pilot told the A.A. I. B. He said that the instructor the instructor the instructor the instructor the instructor. the instructor. the instructor. the instructor. the instructor. the instructor. the instructor. the instructor. the instructor. the instructor. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the pair. the pair. the pair. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. That. That. That. That. That. That. I. That. That. That. That. That. I. I. I. That. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. That. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. t. t A-A-I-B. He said that the instructor's last words
were, looks good, there's nothing behind you.
Oh man.
Put that on my tombstone.
Goddam.
It's kind of a bummer, isn't it?
Did he not just say like my chest hurts?
he just, he just had. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. th, th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. Look, th. Look. tho. tho. thoooooooooooooo. Look, th. Look, th. Look, tho, tho, tho. Look, th. Look, th. I'm having a heart attack over here. His last words were, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
My arm really hurts and I'm not sleepy, you know?
Yeah.
Shortly after takeoff, the instructor's head rolled back.
As the two pilots knew each other well, the co-pilot thought his companion
was, quote, just pretending to take a nap. Is that a thing thing thing thiiii thing thi thing thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, just a classic classic classic classic thi, th, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thou, tho, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, th, th, thoo, tho, th to take a nap. Is that a thing? Like, is that a common thing to do?
It's a pilot thing, you would get it.
It's a classic pilot's, Jape.
Just wait until one of your instructors does it, Lucy.
When you're like, I don't know what to do, and they're like,
just joking.
I'm bad.
We do, yeah, we have fun.
When the plane turned around, the instructor slumped over so that his head rested on the co-pilot's shoulder, but again the pilot still thought a joke was being played upon him.
He's really committing to the bit.
Oh boy.
After landing safely with the instructor still resting on his shoulder and not responding,
the pilot realized something was wrong and alerted airport emergency services who were unable to revive the instructor.
Well, he didn't really land safely. I mean, someone died.
What I'm hearing is like he probably shouldn't have like continued with his flight.
What he probably should have like maybe like just maybe not
take it off or landed quickly? How do you not continue with your flight? Did he
just keep going with his like his regular route? Yeah yeah before landing just pull
over somewhere. Yeah yeah before landing just pull over.
Turn on the autopilot. They probably should be some sort of like explicit
your guy has to be either conscious or not acting unconscious. They're probably should be some sort of like explicit.
Your guy has to be either conscious or not acting unconscious rule before you land if there's another guy. Yeah, like he completed his circuit. I feel like he shouldn't have done that.
Maybe like a mandatory no jokes policy just so there's no confusion. Yeah.
So they should have implemented the Shipping Report policy.
That's right, yes.
Maybe this guy had done it before.
Like to think this is a joke, it sounds like maybe it's happened too many times.
It's really, really funny.
I think this guy was a massive fan of the novel, The Young Adult Novella Hatchet, in which a Canadian teen
is stranded in the wilderness because the pilot has a heart attack and dies. Yeah. And he was
referencing that. He was referencing, previously he's referenced hatchet.
And now he's up in the plane and he's like, oh he's hatcheting me again.
He's doing his famous hatchet bit. Now that's a good bit. Yeah, that's some good gear. Because we've all read Hatchett, so we all know about the pilot at the start of hatchet.
Yeah, he dies of a heart attack. He dies of a heart attack. I mean the boys on a plane gone over to see his mother, right?
And then the pilot gets hatcheted which the novel hatchet. Yeah. Yeah, the the the the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, thatchet, that, that, thatchet, thatchet, thatchet, thatchet, thatchet, thatchet, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the th, the the the the th, the the th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the novel Hatchet. Yeah. I went as that pilot for Halloween last year. Yeah.
And everyone was like-
Three other guys at the party dressed as the pilot.
You farted and you clutched at your shoulder.
And then everyone's like, wait a fucking second.
You're hatcheting me right now.
You're a guy from the opening pages of Hatchet. The young adult novel that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that was that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the thauu. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's that's that's that's that's that that that pages of Hatchett, the young adult novel that was mandatory reading for a very specific set of millennials.
It might still be. They don't seem to change that stuff very often. You know there's a sequel to Hatchett? Yeah, there's two. There's one. They wreck on the original entry. That's right. So there's the one where they send him back into the wilderness. So the military. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the the the the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the original. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they send him back into the wilderness so the military could study his survival techniques.
And then there's the bear, the bear one.
I forgot what the conceit was for that one.
There's the one where they completely wreck on the ending of the first one, I think?
That's right. Yeah.
So that he's hatchet longer.
Yeah. Now, it's finally my the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. the. the. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the. the the the the the tho. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. theat. teat. teat. teateat.. tea. tea. tea. tea. theat. the the the the the the the the the th hatchet. Now it's finally my turn to say novel size acts to say Ben you
have described all of the novels from the hatchet series on here before.
Oh no! That cannot be true. No or maybe what happened was you talked about the
first novel and then I went away and read the plot of all of the novels on Wikipedia.
Maybe that's what happened. That sounds pretty likely also. And if you're under 30, you know the deal by now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah the the the the the the the the the th now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now the the the the the the the the the th th. the the the the th. the the th. the the the the of of of thoes the of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of ofes ofes ofes ofes the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. to.e.e.e.e.e.e. to.e. to. to. to. to.. That sounds pretty likely also. And if you're under
30, you know the deal by now. Yeah, what are you doing, listen to a podcast? You could be
doing drugs right now. Your immune system is still vital. Check out four ACODMT. Yeah.
Rock your shit. The instructor, who had close to 9,000 hours of flying experience, barely any of them fatal,
was said to be in good spirits before his final flight.
I did explaining to this guy's wife, she's like, why didn't you just land the plane and call an ambulance?
Why didn't you help him? You just have to be like, I thought he was japing on me,
that really happened. Shit.
He was having a snooze.
Can't get that 10,000 hours, hey?
Malcolm Gladwell, pilot mastery.
Quote, people who had spoken to him on the morning of the incident said he was his normal,
cheerful self and there were no indications that he was feeling unwell.
The A.A.IIAIB report said. The three people who had flown with him for the trial lesson just prior to the incident said he seemed well and nothing abnormal had
occurred. No, he was just leading the whole time. It was...
The medical department of the UK Civil Aviation Authority reviewed the incident and the
instructor's medical history and concluded that, quote, from the evidence provided, it's likely the individual suffered a cardiac arrest as the aircraft took took took took took took th th th th th th tho tho tho tho tho tho tho the tho thi the thi thi the the the the the the and concluded that, quote, from the evidence provided is likely the individual suffered a cardiac arrest as the aircraft
took off.
End quote.
He was known to suffer from high blood pressure, sky high, you might say.
All of his blood pressure would be high.
But it was within regulatory limits.
What does that mean?
I mean, I'll ban you from being a pilot.
It says the treat. The AAIB's report concludes that while on this occasion the instructors
co-pilot was qualified and was able to land the plane safely, the outcome could have been very different.
That's true. If something else happened, it would have been different.
Things would have been. Hmm. That is the nature of causality of of of of of the cause of to be to be to be to be to be the causality of to be to be the to be to be the to be the to be the to be the the to be the the to be the to be a to be a to be a to be a to be a the the the to be a to be a to be a to be a to be allowed. A to be allowed a to be allowed a to be allowed a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their th. I the of. Wea. Wei. Wei. Wei. Wei. Wei. Wei. Wei. theole of the of the. the. the. the. Wei. I the. I the the thue. If something else happened, it would have been different. Things would have been.
Hmm. That is the nature of causality, I guess.
And I believe in my heart, in my soul of souls, that we have enough time for another, plainly
speaking, on this episode of Punta Vista. This comes to us from WTAE news, the
Wattay. High school student
charged after sending air drop that mentioned bomb on Texas flight. Yeah, all right.
Who's still airdropping? That feels very 2010. That's the umbrage that you take
yeah. That's also my umbrage as well. We're co-umbridged on this.
You're only recently in the Apple environment. I don't know if you can be like, oh it's very
passe, she said an airdrop. Yeah. Airdrop rules. It's a good thing. What are you doing with it?
Just like sending links to my wife while she sits right next to me on the couch. Don't you have a number? I say the link to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the to to the the to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the apple the the the the the apple the apple the apple the apple the the apple the apple the the the the apple the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thaplea. Apple. Apple thaplea. thaplea. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th sits right next to me on the couch. But don't you have like a fucking chat?
I say the link to my wife. I say it letter by letter to her face.
H T T P S colon forward slash.
I know we always say this but try talking to her.
Well it's good though because then you just the link just pops open and you're not, you're not getting a message.
You don't have to have it written down, you know?
Taken up valuable space in my messages.
It was a crazy step to take, but it's working for you.
Never been airdropped anything in my life.
I'll air drop something to you next time I get us.
Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh it it it to you. Oh. Oh. Oh it to you to you to you to me me to me to me to me to me to me to to let it drop something to you next time I get us. Oh, I'd be lovely.
Please do.
You might like it.
A Pittsburgh high school student has been charged after sending a text message while
on board a flight that forced passengers off the airplane in Texas and detained
the students for a day during a field trip.
Legend! That one is going in the yearbook for shore.
Like, that's gonna be a very memorable story.
Yeah. I'm into it. I think it's a good thing to do.
Brian Cook, director of communications for Central Catholic High School, there's your problem.
Said on Friday, while on the tarmac in El Paso, Texas, a text message and photos were
sent via airdrop that included the word bomb.
Are we going to hear the whole thing?
Well, you're going to get some clarity later on.
Because, like, I've stopped clicking now at Ben's request, so I've got nothing else to look at...
Are you going to have to look at the notes, like while we're talking?
No, that's going to be more clicking.
You're going to have a conversation with us?
How did your mouse get louder?
I've already... My old mouse, but...
My old mouse, but...
It's a razor wireless. Oh wow that looks like a cyber track. It's dead like X hyper speed. Crazy mouse. I'm sorry I didn't realize the click would be louder.
It's quite audible. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna stop clicking. All right.
Be here now. Be here now. I can't. Be here now. I can't.
In the moment.
I can't.
Practice mindfulness.
Now for you listening at home, now is when we recorded the podcast.
You'll be listening to it at some point in the future, and Theo also won't be focused on what he's doing then.
Yeah, be there then.
Be here then, then, then, be where you are at the time that you're listening. Be then now.
Especially if you drive. Yeah. On Monday, the Texas Department of Public Safety said a juvenile
suspect was detained and will be charged. Try it as an adult, throw the book at him. Lock him up.
Lock him up. We're a third grader. Get him at the same time and children.
Let's the third grader execute him for clemency.
You already know how to handle a gun.
Have a look for a gun in the toilets.
According to the Public Safety Department statement, American Airlines flight 205
from El Paso to Chicago was in taxi when passengers received
the following message on their Apple device via airdrop.
I have a bomb would like to share a photo.
Okay.
Yes.
All right, that's pretty, yeah, pretty direct.
Based on...
They've set the name of their phone to I have a bomb so that when they tried to send
the photo it comes up as I have a bomb would like to share a photo with you.
Yeah. They are. Bunchafist is comedian of the week.
Based on this information, the AA aircraft taxied back to gate A2.
Subsequent investigation. It's got a head on back.
Important information.
Hey, we're just whipping this bad boy around real quick.
Oh, I left my wallet in the terminal.
Subsequent investigation resulted in the identification of a juvenile subject who confessed to the airdrop.
It is pretty juvenile if you ask me, that kind of behavior?
Yeah.
Yeah. I can't imagine being a cop and having to say in cop speak.
The suspect, the juvenile subject confessed to the airdrop.
Suspect involved air dropping.
Evidence supporting the confession was discovered in the suspect's cell phone.
The cell phone was seized as evidence.
A bomb squad search of the aircraft passengers and luggage was negative for explosives.
The threat was mitigated and deemed non-credible.
Thank you.
Thank you, Mr. Police for sorting that out.
I gave you all the clues.
It was that guy's phone.
I feel like, hey, do you have a bomb or were you just
like doing a gag?
And you probably could have got to answer.
Yeah, I think as soon as the child stands up and says, oh, that was me, I'm really
sorry.
You can probably just wrap it up.
Yeah, you're probably fine.
I don't want to be controversial here. I don't want to, I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to just, to just, to just, to just, I to just, I'm just, to just, to just, to just, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like thua, like thua, like thu. I just, like thu. I just, like to just, like to just, like to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to to thu. I'm just, thu. I'm just, thu. I'm just, thu thu thu tho. I'm just the. I'm just thooma' tha' tha'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a' tho don't want to be, I don't want to be controversial here.
I don't want to, I'm not trying to upset anyone.
Lock him up.
I'm not trying to offend anyone.
I'm not trying to get a laugh.
No, no.
I'm not trying to make anyone have to make anyone. How long has it been since since, the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I. I. I. I. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm not. I'm like since 9-11. I think it's been since 9-11 was
the last time a 9-11 happened. I think we can maybe dial it back. You should be
able to take a nail file through customs again. You should be able to say that at the counter.
You should be able to walk up to the counter of Northwest Orient Airlines and say, hello,
my name is D.B. Cooper, I would like to get on this plane.
I have laughed.
I should think that's a funny joke.
Ben, I'll go you one better and say, the planes in 9-11, the planes featured in 9-11
were not bought down by bombs,
so I think you should still be allowed to take a bomb on a plane.
It's also true.
We should have been able to joke about bombs on planes there's a diet time.
No, I'm saying I think you should be allowed to have to have V bombs. Yeah. Like we we got rid of what box gutters and shoes we dealt with
the shoe menace. Water? America's still dealing with the shoe menace right? Yeah
you still gonna take your shoes up there. It's really undignified.
Like I don't think I should have to do that as a grown woman. My socks.
One guy put a match to the soul of his shoe like 20 years ago.
Is that what that is?
Yeah, like a guy had a shoe bomb.
And then he started setting fire to the bottom of his shoe.
No, everybody just went, hey, cut that out.
And they took his shoe off him.
Quit it!
So again, no planes bought down by shoes.
Let the people of America have their shoes back.
Have we had any planes in recent memory taken down by internal bombs?
Like external explosives, obviously yes.
Yeah, shut out.
Yeah, not that I'm aware of.
Yeah, I think it's time to make bombs back on planes.
It's just like weed. No recorded fatalities.
How can a plant be illegal?
Yeah. It comes from the ground.
If I have a bomb, I should have the right to transport it with me on holiday.
If you're moving between cities, how are you going to get your bomb there?
How do I'm going to get your bomb there? How do I get my bomb there?
What if I live in Tasmania?
Can't drive a truck there?
You can't take so long on the ferry.
You can't drive.
Not catching the spirit.
Spirit of Tasmania is out to you.
That's gone.
Stop's in Jolong now, I'm not going to jolong. Oh my goodness, so Richard Reed, also known as the shoe bomber, and I believe we're
not talking about Mr. Fantastic, from the Fantastic Four.
On December 22nd 2001? Yeah, there you go, you're correct.
No, no, no, no.
Not even close.
He did it. There he is. He knows the name of A pornster. Haven't seen it. Not even close. He did it. You're a pawny little man. There he is.
He knows the name of A pornster.
Haven't seen it.
Reed boarded American Airlines Flight 63 between Paris and Miami
wearing shoes packed with explosives,
which he unsuccessfully tried to detonate.
Passengers subdued him on the plane,
which landed a Logan International Airport in Boston, the closest US airport. He was arrested, charged, and indicted.
In 2002, he pleaded guilty in US federal court
to eight federal criminal counts of terrorism.
So he got convicted of attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction, attempted homicide,
attempted murder.
What's, what's the distinction there? Oh God. How can you get
done for homicide and murder? If you're the law that killing someone?
Rode into us last week about the statute on arson in Indiana let us know the
difference between homicide and murder.
Attempted homicide, attempted murder, interference with flight crew and the tenants on an aircraft,
attempted destruction of an aircraft or public transport vehicle. Well, that would interfere with the flight crew.
Use of a destructive device during and in relation to a crime of violence,
attempted wrecking of an aircraft or public mass transportation vehicle.
You can't just like charge a guy with different permutations of the same crime.
Attempted destruction of an aircraft and attempted wrecking of an aircraft.
I like it.
Maybe the, you know, opposition had a great lawyer.
Maybe.
Found some loopholes to charge him with eight different crimes.
I like it. And so he received, uh, three consecutive life sentences and 110 years without parole.
He didn't even kill anyone.
For what? For what? For what? For what? For what? For what? For what? For what? For?
For what? For what? Yeah? Victimless crime.
And that's me.
And please don't weigh it on who you think it is.
It's up to us to decide who is the Budavista comedian of the week.
Yep.
Again, very sensitive.
Yeah, I really say this.
You don't say this.
Don't even give us mixed feedback because that's sometimes worse. I really like this but, oh please don't.
I really enjoy the show.
But, pack it in.
When did I leave it?
If you're...
House to the shops, to the school, playground.
If you're writing feedback to us,
Trymate Sactuary.
Little Russia.
We haven't actually got to the punchline of this article yet by the way.
Oh, we're done.
Yeah.
Oh, we'll get there.
Uh, the threat was mitigated and deemed non-credible by the courageous police. Central Catholic families, who said their sons were traveling with the group, said the junior at Central Catholic changed the name of of of of of of of of of to to to to to to the to their their their to their their their their their to their their their their their their their their to, their to, their their to, to their their, who said their sons were traveling with the group,
said the junior at Central Catholic changed the name of his phone to, I have a bomb, and
then use Airdrop to send a photo of another student who was on the trip to all of the passengers
on the plane.
No, that's just a good roast.
That is a great break.
That's comedian of the week. Sending it to everyone and then showing Carl who is next to you. Hey Carl, you have
a bomb by the way. You are pranked. You got pranked by the best.
King of the Slams. Officials said that the suspect will be charged as a juvenile, that's very nice of them.
With false alarm or reporting an emergency. Officials said that the suspect will be charged as a juvenile, that's very nice of them,
with false alarm or reporting an emergency.
So funny to do that to someone else.
That's really good.
Hey, you quit sending bomb threats.
At least he immediately said, oh,that was me instead of, no, it
was the guy in the picture.
It was Carl.
Carl, 100% did this.
Stop felony yourself.
That is Carl all over.
My goodness.
Folks, that's a little something we like to call an episode of the podcast
Punta Vista.
And I reckon, oh, no, we've still got a bit of freemium freebrewary to go, don't we?
Yeah, there's one more freemium freebrewary episode left, and then, what are you going to do?
Only four episodes in a four week period?
You can't go back to that.
Oh, Christ, no.
People will be asking you, hey, did you hear the latest thing that's funny on Bontovista?
You have to pretend. Oh, it was on a bonus episode. I'm sorry.
Oh, did you catch who the comedian of the week is? And you'll have to pretend like you know who it is. Oh yeah, I just like, I can't remember. There's just so many.
It was like, and you're trying to John Edwards them into being like a
a bob, da, da, da, da, juh.
I remember but you say it first.
Yeah. He has a beer, she has, yeah.
So yeah, if you're freaking out at the prospect of that happening to you, just remember you
can really get ahead of that by signing up to the Patreon and getting all of the episodes
all the time, you know?
Maybe you will turn out to be the Bundy Vista community in the week.
Probably.
Only one way to find out though, and that's to listen to every...
Every bit of it.
Bye everybody.
Bye.
Bye. you know the