Boonta Vista - EPISODE 294: An Unbelievable Amount Of Deadly Hammers [FIXED]
Episode Date: April 27, 2023I apologise if you've already listened through the one where the audio was fucked but here it is fixed. If you haven't: ignore this message. Thank you. Love you. *** Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: 2... million hammers with one tiny flaw, a roadside zoo funded by local government corruption, a very unlikely train-adjacent tragedy, and history's most effortless prison escape. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at mailbag@boontavista.com! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista
Transcript
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Hello, welcome to Bunda Vista episode of the Chattanooga City,
told me how to be able to be able to be able to cover.
Yeah, it's obviously how I'm sick.
Everyone who's a big wet lips, live the same time.
Hello, welcome to Bundavista episode 294.
I'm Theo, and I have depression.
Yes, I experienced some mild interpersonal drama today.
I took far too seriously, so you better believe I've spiraled into a big old hole about it.
And I'm dealing with it, the only way I know how.
Opening and closing Twitter, putting a 70-inch-Oled TV into my J.B. Hi-Fi store basket
and then removing it, for finally queuing up a playlist of Alfa Arnold's while I do karate moves
in the middle of my office nude, like at the beginning of Apocalypse now.
I'm here with Ben who also has depression. Ben, you've purchased an entire army for Warhammer
40K, the Horace Heresy, despite having absolutely nobody who you know who plays Horace
Heresy and no time at all to paint them. How you going, buddy?
I'm doing great. Would it help you depression at all if I critiqued the way that you pronounce the name of that composer? Um, no. Okay, then I'm not going to. Yeah, I'm really really really really really really really really really to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. toea. th. toea. th. toea. th. toea. toea. toea. the the toe. their. their. their. the then I'm not going to.
Yeah, I'm really looking forward to playing the Horace Heresy, which I think is 40K
but it's set in the year 30,000.
31K, something like that.
Yeah.
Whether the Horace Heresy is happening.
Yeah. And so all the primarks and stuff are there.
And they're all fighting.
Yeah. So there's there.
. Yeah, and let's list off all the prime marks we know. Yeah, so there's... Lionel Johnson.
Yep.
Vulcan.
Rebutt Gierman.
Yep.
Shrek.
We were filling it easy 10 minutes of the podcast for this I reckon.
Sorry, I'm just thinking of an entire space marine legion built from the gene seed of
Shrek finally reunited.
What do you reckon their special thing would be?
Like you know the blood angels are vampires, Ultramarines are blue.
Yeah. They've all got like a thing.
I reckon it's like when you when you damage
them a layer is peeled back and they're even stronger underneath. That's so true.
Yeah, yeah. Remember how funny Shrek was the first time you saw it when you were a kid?
Yeah, fuck that slapped. Yeah, like he said crap. It's so irreverent. Yeah, these aren't your grandma's fairy tales.
This guy fent. Yeah, these aren't your grandma's fairy tales. This guy farts
Oh, okay, this guy farts for him. You know that ass is fun
And we did hear Andrew there. There he is he's wanking off his dick with all the joy of somebody closing shop at the end of a long shitty night
It's Andrew.
Andrew, would you be happening to have some depression over there?
Yeah, but when I do my nude karate,
I'm doing it like William Sadler in his hotel room in Die Hard to Die Harder.
Hell yes.
Just for, I want to be clear about that.
Yeah.
You know?
That was really William Sadler's time to shine, wasn't it? It sure was. He was looking good in that movie. It was looking slim. Yeah. It's not.
Kind of bad with it. Yeah. In an evil way. I don't think he should be blamed for Rennie
Harlan's failings as a director. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. You know? It's still a good movie. It's still a good movie movie. They're th. It's a movie. It's a movie. It's a movie. It's a movie. It's a movie. It's a movie. It's a movie. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still. It's still a good movie. They kill a fucking shitload of guys in Dihar too. The body account is way higher than you remember it.
That's right and he's getting people with like icicles through the eye. Yeah. You know? There's really good stuff in there. Yeah. I think I was actually thinking I want to watch Dyehart too when we were talking about this. I think I think it gets an unfair rap. That's my take. I think. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was the th. I was actually the th. I was th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. this. I think I think it gets an unfair rap. That's my I do too. I think I watched it last year and I'm like, you
know what? A lot of guys getting shot in this? You can't accuse it of being
boring. We need Lucy to come back so badly. You know the scene in die hard to, diehardt when when he goes and he's talking to the lady behind the counter and he has and he has the the the the the th. and he has the the th. th. the th. th, th, th, th, th, th, to to th, to to to to to to to has has has to has to has has to has to has to has to has to get to has to get to has to get to have to get to have to get to get to get to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get, to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th, th. the, the, the, the the the, the, the, the. the the the toe the the toe toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe, toe. to to to to the Die Hard to, Die Harder, when he goes and he's talking to the lady behind
the counter and he has to get a fax, he's faxing the dead guy's fingerprints to get an ID on
them.
Oh, I know the scene.
Yeah, and she's like, hey, you want to get a drink later.
And Bruce Willis, in his extremely charming 80s mode, he holds up his left hand and using his thumb he
kind of waggles his wedding ring at the lady to indicate I'm married yeah
and then in a fan in a fantastic pun he says just the facts ma'am you know yeah
yeah yeah that's pretty good like I assume the old TV show Dragnet is that
what that's a reference to I don't know I'm 32
anyway I think there is some deep part of my brain old TV show Dragnet? Is that what that's a reference to? I don't know I'm 32.
Anyway, I think there is some deep part of my brain that has always like hungered
for the opportunity to do that gesture.
Lady walks up at you while you pull side. Yeah, she says, hey I've got two beers.
Please, and I suck your penis. Yeah. And I go, uh-uh, I've got two beers. Please and one pussy. Yeah, and I go
Uh-uh, and I just kind of weigh now granted. I'm not wearing a wedding ring at the moment because I got too fat for my wedding. I don't wear mine either
Yeah, I get dirty tires. Oh, you guys are fucking pathetic. I get little skin bubbles. We got we got all kinds of problems like I I simply need to have my wedding ring resized my wife my beautiful wife Elna we have to get her wedding rings remade
Because she got either some kind of bug bite or
Like she was gardening and she got a thorn has pricked her or something in her finger and she's like got an allergy type situation and her finger ballooned up in a way that really suggested that it was
going to explode like a party popper at a fifth birthday. And we were both
looking at it with great concern and she got me to get my wire cutters from the
garage and very carefully
snip her engagement ring and wedding ring, chop them, and we released her finger. Oh my god. But it's okay because the engagement ring, the ring I bought her was a real piece of shit.
So... Don't worry honey.
I felt... It's honestly one of my deepest insecurities, how bad I feel about the
incredibly cheap ring that I bought it.
Because I was like, our love is so pure, who cares that I don't have any money because I'm an idiot.
Yeah, it turns out that's not the right life lesson to learn. Yeah, yeah. And the problem wasn't like that I didn't have access to money.
I've always made pretty decent money.
It was that I spent all of my money
like a drunken fool at all times.
So I didn't have like access to money in the sense of having put any away.
You know. So at some point, we're going to like melt those bad boys down.
Make a nice new ring, you know.
Or you could make a little statuette of fucking Sanguinius, the blood guy.
Maybe.
For 40K, Horus Heresy.
Or be watching a lot of YouTube videos.
Yeah, because you're depressed, you establish that early on.
Yeah, I've stopped reading books.
That's like the first thing to go with...
Oh, is that what my problem is?
Do I have depression?
Yeah, you've been depressed your entire life and you've not known.
That's why you haven't read a book in 25 years. Oh, no, that's not true. I read a book. I reckon I read it think think th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that tho o' tho o' tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thee. the. th. th. th. th. th, oh no, that's not true. I read a book, I reckon I read a book in the last six months.
One book?
Yeah, go on.
I read.
Was it a, was it a, an episode of Playboy?
Ha ha ha ha.
An episode of Playboy.
the episode of Playboy.
What the fuck?
the issue? I was going to let it slide that the that one. the the tho................. the... the.. the. the. that one, the. that one, that one, that one, the that one, that one, that one, that one. that one. that that that that that that's. the that the that. the the the the the the the the the the the the latest. the latest. the latest. the latest. the latest. the latest. the latest. the latest. the latest. the latest. the latest. the latest. the latest................................................................................................................... the of the depression thing. I was going to let him have that one without comment. Can I get
April's episode of Playboy? The paper episode that you have here. It's so long between
episodes and people expect you not to spoil it. It's crazy. I'm not meant to talk about Erica Eleni's titties for one whole month. Who the f-fuck is that??? that? that? that. I is that. It is that. It is their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, for a month. So close to the edge. I'm not meant to talk about Erica El-Nayek's titties for one whole month.
Who the fuck is that that's sad?
She was the Playboy Playmate who appeared in the Stephen Seagal film Under Siege.
She comes out of the big birthday cake and unveils her beautiful breasts.
I was really worried that you were actually about to that a Playboy Playmate from this current month. No, don't worry, don't worry, I also am very old so my only reference for Playboy Playmates is like
Pamela Anderson when she looked like an entirely different human. Like have you
you guys ever seen Pamela Anderson when she started being in Playboys and like I think the
late 80s I want to say? I'm 32 years old. Yeah, no like like Google some pictures of her and she just looks like a totally have you ever
seen a picture of Pamela Anderson. Google Pamela Anderson are you gonna want
to flip over to the images tab because you're in for quite a treat.
Pamela Anderson, before she was Pamela Anderson Lee and then not
Pamela Anderson Lee anymore. Yeah. Anyway, you know, she looked good and then she got a job
in the TV show Home Improvement. Yeah. Great stuff. She was in Home Improvement. Congratulations to her.
No, I swear the mum was Brunette in that. No, she wasn't the mom. She was the girl on Tim's
Toolman Taylor's TV show, Tool Tool Time and she left and was replaced by
Heidi and if you're under 30 you should start the podcast now.
Oh it's been a really long day for me and Theo and Ben's just here yeah yeah that's right
he's here for us yeah I've had a of, I've had a week of moving house, fellas,
of moving my house to another house, and I've been saying for the last couple of days,
I can't wait to die in this house so I don't have to move again.
Yeah, moving, fucking, moving is just the pits.
Yep. And this is the first time I've moved with like kids who are old to to to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have the the the to have the to have the the to have the the to have the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th f moving moving moving moving moving moving moving moving moving moving th f thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to move to move to move to move to moving to moving to moving to moving to moving to moving thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi Yep. It's just the word. And this is the first time I've moved with like kids who are old enough to have a significant amount of their own possessions.
God damn.
You know?
And so I went over there, not, I was coming back not an hour before we did this show,
after doing the very end of it, which was to get all of my stuff out of the garage,
it's been done. I collected up all my tools, all my this and that, you know, my drop saw,
my drill, all this, that, and the other.
Folks, speaking of the TV show, inside the TV show, tool time and also the tools that I collected,
it's time to talk some more about some tools. It's time for the PSA per segment.
This comes from WMTW, the WomTW, in Maine.
This comes from WMTW, the WomTW, the Wom Twir, in Maine.
Stanley, Black & Deco recalls 2.2 million fiberglass WMTW, the Wombertwer, in Maine.
Stanley, Black and Deco recalls 2.2 million fiberglass sledge hammers due to injury hazard.
Is the issue that they're fucking made out of fiberglass?
What? I was also quite intrigued by this. I didn't know that was a standard construction material for hammers.
Or at least not outside of Poland.
I'd like to apologize to our many polish.
Many polishers.
Sorry about that?
Both of you.
Yeah.
Is it, like, is it the handle it's fiberglass?
I honestly don't know.
I'm like I'm looking at fiberglass hammers, not sledge hammers, just... Oh no, yeah, fiberglass sledge
hammers, okay. I'm looking at fiberglass sledgehammers right now and it looks
like the head of it is metal. Yeah. According to a news release in the US
Consumer Product Safety Commission, the head of the recalled
sledge hammers, quote, can loosen prematurely and detach unexpectedly
during use, posing an impact injury hazard to the user. This is one of those
final destination, like intrusive thoughts that I've had for a very long time,
right? Like what if the head just comes off the axe and sort of flies, you know,
60 meters across the campsite and kills our dearly beloved
grandfather right? I get I get way more of a wily coyote kind of vibe right
which is that you're doing a like a full-bodied overhead swing yeah to hit
to hit say let's say like a tent peg maybe you're trying to bang a railroad
spike in like we all do from time to time. And so at the at the apex of the arc,
maybe the thing detaches and you get to the bottom right and you go,
huh? And you look, you look at the handle and then as that's happening,
the head of it comes down, bonks you right on top,
big lump comes up, yeah, piano keys, the whole nine yards.
Yeah.
So far, the company has received 192 reports of the sledgehammer heads detaching.
Oh my god, that's...
Causing two reported injuries to the face and head.
Yeah, and look, if you're keeping note at home, your face is on your head.
Yeah.
They're making a distinction here between someone getting hit in the non-face part of the head
and then someone getting hit in the face part of the head.
And both of those, very bad.
Yeah. Those are both critical hits as far as I'm concerned.
Yeah, you can get in a two-times damage bonus when you get yourself in the face with the sledge hammerhead. So you guys know about rabbit punches right? No. Okay so in the
in the pugilistic art form of boxing it is illegal to punch somebody in the back
of the head right it's called a rabbit punch right and the reason for that
is because you clock and them
straight in the brain, right? And that's bad. Whereas... Straighten the material.
Yeah, so if you are boxing or doing kickboxing or mixed martial arts or whatever,
it's way better for you to be hit directly in the face because there's so much tissue
between there and your brain.
I guess what I'm trying to say is if I were to be hit in the cranium, the cranial region
by a detached sledgehammer head, I hate to say it, but in some ways you would probably
be better off to be hit directly in the face, perhaps your cheek or your nose or whatever.
Doctors say it's probably the best place to be hit directly in the face, perhaps your cheek or your nose or whatever.
Doctors say it's probably the best place to get hit.
Your nose your teeth and your eyes are on the front of your head and like, those are
very susceptible to injury in my experience.
Yeah but a sledgehammer heads, a sledgehammer heads.
Well sometimes they're quite small because this covers their very small as sledge hammers. Oh we've got a variety of sl. A h h. A sl. th. th. th. th. S. S. S, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, them, them, them, the, theateateateateatheet, thease, thease, thease, thease, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, the, the, the is theateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateateate, theateateate, theateate, their the,edge hammers and also their very largest sledge hammers. Oh, we've got a variety of sledge hammers.
This is 2.2 million hammers.
There's an unbelievable amount of deadly hammers are at loose in the United States.
And also I would point out that the brands covered by this,
which are DeWalt, Stanley, Blackaddecker and Craftsmen,
also available in Australia.
I have not checked if there is a similar recall happening in Australia.
We report, you find out.
The Sledgeham is impacted by the recall include those sold at Home Depot, Ace Hardware
and other hardware stores nationwide and online between November 2013 and November twenty-two-two-triven.
Small window that. hardware stores nationwide and online between November 2013 and November 22.
Small window there.
The sledgeham is included in the recall include those weighing between 2 and 12 pounds.
Pretty big range.
It's a big range.
And 14 inches to 36 inches in length.
It's normal to have a 14 inch sledge hammer.
It's fine. It's actually suitable for most jobs. It's normal to have a 14 inch sledgehammer. It's fine. It's suitable
for most jobs. It's about how you swing it. How the fuck are that? Surely they all have
different designs. How is this being all ramped up in one? Just being careful. Bad hammer
glue. It's one batch of hammer glue that went wrong. That's like, but it's from 10 years. It's like a hundred batches of hammer glue. It turns out we actually th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's about th. It's that's about that. It's about th. It's about th. It's about th. It's about th. It's about th. It's about th. It's about th. It's about th. It's about th. It's about th. It's about th. It's about th. It's about th. It's th. It's th. It's wrong. That's like, but it's from 10 years, it's like a hundred batches of hammer glue. It turns out we actually sorted out hammer construction, well
you would think a little while ago and they didn't really they didn't fuck with
it all that much. You get your fiberglass handle, you get your head, you put some
hammer glue in there and as long as the hammer glue is fine, yeah. the hammer glue is fine, the hinder-in is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tham, tham, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, tham, tham, tham, th. the, thu, thr-a, thu, thu, thu, thu, the ha, the hau, the hammer, the hammered, the hammered, the hammered, the hammered, the hammered, the hammered, the hammered, the hammered, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. thr-a-a-a-a-a-in, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-a-a-a-a-a-s, thr-a-a-a-s, throoooomuuuu. thr-a-s, th no contingencies. One night shift security guard falls into the giant van of hammer glue and ruins the whole batch,
you've fucked eight years worth of hammers, which is 2.2 million hammers, which is almost 300,000 hammers a year.
I feel like this should be like, you know the design on like a pickaxe type thing, a
matic if you will?
Are you talking about where it's wider at the end of the handle?
Yeah, and the axe, like an axe handle, yeah, where you put the thing on the bottom and it
slides out, it can't actually get off over the top.
Yeah, it seems like that's what they should be doing. That's an old design. You can have that.
Yeah, and an incredible piece of engineering as well with that style of if it's on a hammer
or matic every single blow fixes it harder onto the handle.
And then to remove it, all you have to do is just tab it on the other side.
How do they get the little ship?
The recalled DeWalt and Stanley Sledge Hammers are yellow and black, while the craftsman's
sledgehammers are red and black.
Now this is the PSA per segment, so we're going to let you know what's up.
Each sledgehammer has the brand written
on the handle, in case you've never looked at any of your positions before, and
the model numbers of the DeWalt and Crafts and Hammers are marked on the hammer
head. If you own one of the recalled sledge hammers, stop using them. You're
probably using it right now. You probably, you get out of bed in the morning, your the legs out of the the the the their their their h h ha, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you their their, you their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and their their, and their, and their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and their, and their, and their, and the, their, and tha, and tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, theaugh, thoooooo, thea, thea, thea, their, their, are probably, you get out of bed in the morning,
your alarm goes off, you swing your legs out of bed, you pick up that hammer and you start
swinging.
Because that's life, you know?
You've got to get stuff done.
You're not going to get anything done when you're not swinging your Stanley Brand
sledgehammer 18 hours a day. Someone's got to do it. Apparently it's you, but we're
begging you. Stop. Stop swinging the sledgehammer for five minutes. Look at the
label. See if it's one of these. We're not going to say what they are.
Contact Stanley, Black and Decker for instructions. You can receive a full refund.
Maybe you could spend it on a sledgehammer that won't try
to murder you.
I was going to put the full list of model numbers in this article for complete this,
but it is unbelievably long.
It is just every kind of hammer.
If you're in America and you have a sledgehammer, put it down.
You're probably windmilling it about your head right now while you listen
to the sunsel wireless headphones. Stop.
We're begging you.
Stop.
In between an animal sanctuary and a preschool, swinging that hammer around, safe in the knowledge
that that head will never detach from that fiberglass handle because it's held in place
by the incredible old superior quality free episodes of the
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Ah folks, it's a jungle out there. And as we've often said, where the jungle ends, the zoo begins.
Yes.
It is time W, Watch.
ZWO, ZW, Wattch.
Clever girl.
T'W, Z, W. W. G. W. W. Z. W. W.
Z. W. W. W. S. W. W. tho. W. S. Y. W. S. thi. W. the W. S. thi. W. thi. W. the W. S. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.SYX in Ohio, the Wissex in Ohio.
The Wissix!
Ohio man used more than $300,000 in taxpayer money for Wilderbeast Hot Tubbs Roadside Zoo.
Huh?
What?
Now, I have to explain something to the listener right now, which is that there are commas between those items.
Yes, I'm sorry. explain something to the listener right now, which is that there are commas
between those items.
Yes, I'm sorry.
It's not a Wilderbeast hot tub roadside zoo where you go and there's a bunch of wildebeests
that's drinking the beers in a hot tub.
That'd be freaking crazy.
That'd be insane.
Write that down.
That's a million dollar I do. A fiscal officer in Ohio went on an unusual spending spree for five years on the taxpayers
dime, a state order report shows.
Cyril S. Viestra of Wilkesville was sentenced nearly five years in prison on corruption
charges.
Quote, this was an abuse of the public trust at its worst, auditor of state Keith Farber said.
Yeah.
No, I feel like the Iraq war might have been like an abuse of the public trust.
Yeah, Bush.
Yeah, we're coming for you.
Rumsfer, finally.
Cheney, pal.
Take him down a notch.
You just imagine where to get ready eventually gets dementia and we have to put up with like people being sad about it.
Yeah.
I'm gonna pay $50,000 for one of George Bush Jr.'s paintings and then I'm gonna hang it wrong.
Yeah, that'll get him.
Take that! Put my little wiener through it.
Get one of his paintings and then do the thing where you cut the eyes out and you look out from behind
the shitty dog that he's drawn?
Yeah.
And if you're...
I don't know, I can't.
Quote, public funds that were supposed to be used for roads and bridges and needed services
instead was stolen to buy kayaks, a popcorn cart, a swimming pool, a drum set, gazeos.
The list goes on and on.
When those people drive on those roads and or bridges, do you think they're having that good a time? Do you think they're having... All right, all right, hear me out here, right? I like where you're going,
Andrew, I'm gonna hear this. Let's, let's think about, let's have a proportionate scale. See, been shooting all this down, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho, yeah, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, yeah. Yeah, tho, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. thi. thi. thi. tha. tho. th. th. th. th going to hear this. Let's think about, let's have a proportionate scale, right?
See if you've been shooting all this down, yeah.
Let's, a proportionate scale of your enjoyment, right?
You're driving along a road or a bridge and it's got like a couple of potholes, right?
And you're like, oh, it's been a no. Oh, I hope I don't get a flat. Then you're driving along a road that doesn't have any potholes.
And do you know how much you enjoy that?
Not at all because you're not thinking about it in the fucking slightest.
At all.
However, if you're at home sitting on your couch and somebody said how much you enjoying yourself
and you go, you know, five out of ten.
Then they give you a popcorn cart
and a drum kit and they say how much you enjoying yourself now. Yeah, yeah.
Do I have to pay for this though? I am shooting straight up to an eight or a nine,
right? And then they say, oh well I'm glad you're enjoying yourself your new swimming pool is outside.
Maybe you can paddle around in it in your kayak.
All right, so your understanding is that this is a sort of Robin Hood situation where
he's taken state funds, bought kayaks, a popcorn car, a swimming pool, a drumset and gazemose
and then handed them out to people?
No, no. All I'm saying is that he has optimized the enjoyment that is happening as a result
of the expenditure of the money. Absolutely. $300,000 for the transport department.
That doesn't even get KPMG in the door, right?
Like, that's gonna get signage on a road probably.
We're thinking about doing roadbooks at some point.
KMFDM?
KMFDM?
I reckon they would probably play for you for like five grand.
They opening the new intersection.
There's a-
One of the big five consultants is.
But if you're at a 30, I promise Lucy's coming back soon.
There's an intersection that's like not too far from me.
It's where you come off the
motorway going southbound just after green slopes and they put a they put a
overpass there and they like dug the road down a little bit and that cost
200 million dollars. How many drum kits could you hand out to people who
live in Brisbane for $200 million?
I think that's a drum kit per person.
I've just, I haven't got the maths.
You could let people choose if they wanted, you know, like a full acoustic faber or if
they wanted like an electronic, if they wanted like Yamaha V drums.
Yeah.
Oh, you live in an apartment, you don't want to bother your neighbors?
Nice set of V-Drums coming over to you, and some sweet, sweet headphones.
Yeah, we're going to throw in the USB MIDI interface with that, just in case.
And Ben, this is what I understand taxpayer funds to be for.
That's correct. Just out of curiosity, Theo, do you reckon that's maybe the first time you've tried saying let him cook out loud in conversations?
Is that like a new thing that you're just seeing works for you in your age bracket?
Yeah, let him do it.
Let Theo cook.
Let the to cook!
Let the to cook!
The Auditor State Special Investigations Unit identified more than 3310,000 in misappropriated township
expenses with multiple purchasers for a roadside zoo created by Viestra.
Investors caught on to purchases from the township's debit and credit card going to Union Ridge
Wildlife Center in 2020. State records showed Veistra's name on the business.
A search warrant by multiple state agencies yielded a golf cart, a riding lord mower,
a animal rescue trailer and six vinyl windows awaiting installation in a building under construction for the wildlife center.
So Ben, I just want to get this straight because clearly you're on the side of big government here.
Yeah. So...
Statist Ben. You would rather that they filled in a few potholes and killed all the animals that Cyril was going to rescue?. the the the to rescue to rescue to rescue to rescue to rescue to rescue the the to rescue to rescue the to rescue the the to rescue the the to rescue the the their their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all the animal the animal the animal the animal the animal the animal the animal the animal the animal the animal their their their their their their their their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all to rescue. 0. 0. 0. 0. 0.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. that they filled in a few potholes and killed all the animals
that Cyril was going to rescue?
I think so. This will come up later.
Oh no.
Oh no. We picked the wrong side.
Oh, no.
Possibly predicted.
Also, it's nice to know that.
So you probably put the threshold at getting caught at misappropriating town funds at about 300,000. Yeah
300,000 you probably find. Neat. Yeah, don't get greedy. That's his problem.
Keep it down there. And if you could be fucked, take a cement mixer out there,
fill in a couple of the holes on the highway and say oh it's happening. That should be his punishment. I'm getting to it. And if it. If it. If to it. If to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If th. If thi appropriating. If th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. couple of the holes on the highway and say, oh it's happening. That should be his punishment.
Hey, I'm getting to it.
I'm getting to it.
Lightning McQueen from cars.
He's got to fill in all those potholes now.
I haven't seen it.
I haven't seen it.
I've seen it like 19 times now.
After that, the state auditor began its audit. Auditors totaled $311,608 in misspent funds by
Viestra who was elected in 2014. Very specific. That's what auditors do, I believe.
The state's report showed the fraudulent transactions beginning in 2016 with $592 spent.
That number jumped to $2,501 in 2017. Spending spiked dramatically during the next three years.
So he went from about $590 bucks and he was like,
ooh.
And then two and a half grand,
he bought himself a Roland, he got a synthesizer for himself.
He got himself a Moog mini, you know.
Yeah. And then in 2018 he spent $69,654.
Slate increase there, went up to $81,179 in 2019. And then in 2020 he went, whoa, this is
crazy, this is getting out of head, let's pump the brakes. I'm taking it back down to 66,904.
Let's cool it down. Yeah. He's realized he's got a problem. of head, let's pump the brakes, I'm taking it back down to 66,000, 9,000.
Let's cool it down.
Yeah.
He's realized he's got a problem.
Yep, and he needs to shave off about 20 grand to make it reasonable.
500 bucks, that feels good.
Two and a half grand, feels even better. That feels five times better. Yeah, you know what I feel better than
the two and a half grand is $69,000. That feels fucking fantastic. What about 80 grand?
You know what? This is the point where he's hit diminishing returns. You know what? Yeah, it feels good,
but doesn't feel that much better than the mid-60 bracket. I'm just gonna, it's not worth the risk.
Pull it back to 60?
I think I've found my level.
Yeah.
And unfortunately.
Might buy a pole star too.
The cruel people of the audit department decided just when he found his level.
He decided, he decided that 60,000 was about right and the government disagreed.
Yeah.
Investigators said Viestro was planning to create the zoo and start a lodging service through
Airbnb at his home.
He created false documents which included invoices, written statements and trustee meeting
minutes to mislead others.
Here are some of the purchases noted by the order.
Five Hot Tubbs.
Wilder. Singular. Singular. Two snow owls from England.
Windows for a primate exhibit. Gazebos. Generators. Greenhouses and cuassexuals and
cures. Feistra also bought personal items such as electronic devices and video games,
sandals and more. Sandals and more.
What more could there be?
Etc.
He pleaded guilty in October 2022 to felon accounts of engaging in a pattern of corrupt
activity, theft in office, and tampering with records, plus a misdemean account of
dereliction of duty.
Ah, you got me. I have two other stories related to this that I would like to read out to you.
They're both from a newspaper based in Athens, Ohio, the Athens Messenger.
This first one is from October of 2019.
Nearby Wildlife Center, home to unique animals.
Yeah, that sounds fun, fun for you and the kids.
Good to me.
Good to hear some good news stories.
Yeah.
It's not often one can be just feet away from a Bengal tiger.
Finton County has a population of two.
Union Ridge Wildlife Center, not normally accessible to the public,
opens the gate to people on Saturday and Sunday for its full open house.
This is a busy year for the center, Taylor Mershian said.
She's a recently new volunteer to the center, and she took this reporter on a tour of the
facility.
Chimpanzees have recently added to the mix of animals.
The capperchins had a tendency to stick out their tongunge tonguonguongu tongu tongu tongu tongu tongu tongu tongu tongu tongu tongu tend to stick out their tongues as people walk past their giant enclosure. A few spider monkeys also live at Union Ridge.
I'm just very tickled by the haphazard addition of animals being added to the mix.
It really makes it sound like it's one big room for the animals.
One big old animal hall.
Like a bunch of chimps riding a wilderbeast? A few spider monkeys
also live at Union Ridge but they weren't necessarily open to the public
during this event, Mershin noted. They tend to get a little quote grabby which
isn't ideal for small and curious children. They also have a new enclosure in
the works. A hut for the center's pod of pelicans was also created next to the
area's pond. Other feathery creatures that live at the center include snowy
the towards, barn owls and bald eagles. Also wandering around the facility
where a pack of Irish wolfhounds, some friendly, some shy.
Huh. Huh.
The center is not at all a petting zoo though. Rather, this space is a sanctuary to animals in need of rehabilitation.
Hence why it is only open to the outside world twice per year.
Most animals native to the area who enter Union Ridge's gates are released back into the wild,
those who can't be released to become educational ambassadors of sorts.
Here's a second article from the Athens messenger.
This one is from the 21st of April this year, so just a couple of days ago. Chimpanzees rescued from Vinton County Zoo.
Four chimpanzees, April, Anna, Lucy and Cash have been rescued from the Union Ridge
Wildlife Center by officials from the Ohio Department of Agriculture and the Global
Federation of Animal Sancturies. You fucked it.
Yeah.
Oops, it's an official Bonteufista Ofer Duffer moment.
Last week's rescue follows formal complaints to both the ODA and the US Department of
Agriculture by people for the ethical treatment of animals, PETA, which also assisted
with funding the animals sanctuary care, according to a press release from Peter.
There are other wild animals who remain at Urban Ridge Wildlife Center.
In October, Cyril CY. Vistra, owner of Union Ridge Wildlife Center, pleaded guilty to stealing public funds to pay for the personal expenses and to support the non-profit roadside zoo he operated.
personal expenses and to support the non-profit roadside zoo he operated. I'm never going to be able to deal with the phrase roadside zoo.
They're not good and they should seem intuitively bad, but the American hungers for seeing
a capubara next to a petrol station, so they need these.
Feistra admitted to Peter that he had kept the chimpanzee Tonka, who appeared alongside
actor Alan Cumming in the film Buddy, from July 2021 to February 2022, after his former
owner falsely claimed to Peter that he had died and brought him to Veistra in violation
of a federal court order requiring that he be sent to an accredited sanctuary, according
to Peter's press release.
So they, the previous owner of this celebrity chimpanzee faked the chimpanzees' death so he could
send them to a roadside zoo being funded by embezzled money by a local public servant.
Yeah. It's a lot, a lot happening there. A few mistakes have been made at this point.
We've all been there.
Peter was able to locate Tonka and arrange for his transfer to save the chips where he's
reported to be thriving.
That's very nice.
I like this, Veistra was ordered to forfeit to Vinton Township a golf cart, a tractor and
other property associated with the zoo he operated. Not his tractor. My beautiful golf cart, come on.
I got bad news, Ben.
The Allen Coming film, Buddy, only got 26% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Oh, that's very disappointing.
This is a 1997 film, Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun Times gave it a two out of four,
saying, one of the peculiar Sun-Times gave it a two out of four, saying, one of the peculiarities...
Close stuff.
Of the film.
Is the vast distance between the movie they've made
and the movie they think they've made.
Damn.
The film was criticized for its unrealistic animatronics,
especially when compared to the real ape performers.
So, you know, perhaps that's a good review, really, for our monkey friend.
Or ape, or whatever the fuck.
Don't write into the show and tell me, I'm talking about the wrong type of monkey.
Or ape.
At the end of the day, aren't we all a type of monkey?
Or ape?
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess that's true, that one of those is true.
Sorry, is that the end of that story?
Yes, that is the end of that story.
Sorry, I thought you were starting the most baffling segue of all time.
No, I was looking at reviews for that fucking movie from 1997 and oddly enough,
they haven't all been perfectly captured.
Some of them have been consigned to the dustbin
of history, that's right, we're talking about the big digital graveyard where you will
never find any of the details again. It's time to check in on the real graveyard of life.
It's time for the Ripping Report. I'm itching for another edition of the Ripping Report.
All right, I've only got one for you, because there were some other ones, but they were just grim.
They weren't grim in a way that made you go, ah, they just made you go, oh.
They weren't grims that make you go, hmm.
That's right, that is true.
So this is a, this is about a man.
He's in the city of Alwa in Rajasthan, in India.
They didn't say his name or his age,
but they did say that 23 years ago he retired from working as an electrician for the rail network.
So he died in freakish and tragic circumstances when he was urinating on some train tracks
and then nearby a semi-high speed train, which I think I read they go between 140 and 160 kilometers
now of these ones.
This was traveling near him and it hit a cow. Now this cow subsequently
exploded into pieces and then one of the pieces the cow traveled thirty
meters and hit him and killed him instantly. Oh my god!
Oh my god! Oh no!
And like that sounds crazy when you say it, right?
Yeah, when you say all of those.
Yeah, where you read it, when you say it,
if you saw it happened, if it happened to you.
Any version of perceiving it?
It might just be crazy, I think.
Yeah.
Well, no, what I'm trying to say is like if you've ever seen say a side of beef or a full
brisket, you know, that's hefty.
Yeah.
Oh, like a Flintstone steak kind of thing on the on.
Yeah, yeah, like the buffalo ribs they put on the, no, not a buffalo, sorry, I mean,
the brontosaurus ribs that they put in nature... You guys checked out cows? Really big.
Cows are about the size of a cow. That's something they don't tell you about cows.
Hearing reports that a cow-sized cow flew with this man. Folks, if you're under 30, check out the television show
the Flint Stones. I reckon it sucks. I reckon it probably sucks.
Those live-action movies though.
Incredible.
Got some Carl McLaughlin, great production values.
That first one? The first one is the first movie I can remember seeing in cinemas.
Wow.
It's my earliest cinema memory is the first live action Flintstones movie, which I think is 93 or 94 I would have been three or four years old I think I remember seeing
Dynatopia that wasn't in cinemas there was a TV movie in two parts there's a
miniseries you dumb fuck you fucking you fucking you fucking
did you see a movie called dinosaur the oh did you see a movie dinosaur
Theo did you see a movie where's backaur? Dinosaur? Oh you didn't see the movie We're Back?
No, I reckon he saw the movie Dinosaur like an early, like a 90s,
the 90s, GNI-Scius?
Yeah, Dinosaur was like 96, 97?
This is crazy.
I feel like we're all having dinosaur-related early cinema mime.
Wait, are you thinking of the TV sitcom Dinosaurs?
No, not the baby. It's not what he's thinking of. Not the mama? Oh God. I'm so tired at this
point. No, a cartoon dinosaurs. You're thinking of where back? I don't think I am. Land before time.
Land before time. Andrews all over it. No Ithink it's all over it. Andrews all over it.
No, too early.
No, that's too niche, Ben.
We're back is too niche.
Yeah, no one saw that movie.
It's really fucking weird.
I reckon it's Lamb before time.
I reckon you're right.
I have no idea what I think is the earliest movie I remember seeing. I remember going to see the Ralph Bakshi Lord of the
Rings movie. Holy fuck. Not like in the 70s. Oh yeah that doesn't scan. No I
remember I remember my parents taking me to see it at a cinema called Electric Shadows
which was like the independent cinema in Camber? Yeah, you know and it was a real piece of shit because we went in and like, like, the like, like, the like, like, the most the movie. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the most the most the the most the most the most the most the most the most movie. the most the most movie. the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most their movie. the most the most the most the most the most like the independent cinema in Cambron, you know, and it was a real
piece of shit because we went in and like went to sit down and watch this
movie and I can't remember which member of the family it was but one of us sat
down and just the entire chair gave way and just collapsed on itself and we
had to move to a different row and then we had to watch a Ralph
back she animated movie. Hard a different row and then we had to watch a Ralph Baxhi animated movie.
Hard times back then, hard times.
Yeah I've also seen the Ralph Baxie animated Lord of the Rings at the cinema when I put
on a screening of it last year because that movie fucking rules.
This guy's a packed house.
We sold that out. Everyone was hooting and hollering in this economy so good
if you're under 30 check out the animator Ralph Bakshi
smoke one joint and watch wizards holy shit dude Ben have you watched American pop yet no
I still haven't it's on my list no it's on plex baby you know I will get in there
that's a Ralph Baxshe joint.
If you're under 30, check out Ralph Baxi. Check out fire and ice. Frank Frazetta and the
guy that drew Dynatopia as background artists for that movie. We are issuing an official Bontovista. That's what's up. Yeah, it's extremely that's what's up.
That's extremely, that's what's up.
God, we love words.
I love saying them. You love listening to them.
Fuck yeah.
Uh, the way we butcher these words, it should be a crime.
It's time for Crime Watch. Yeah! Oh! THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H H! Crime watch. This comes from KPTV. The Cupid. Uh, yes. Crime watch.
Crime watch.
This
the
K.
K.
K.
K.
K.
K.
K.
the Kuppetiver, in Washington.
Cowlitz County releases wrong inmate from prison.
Whoops.
Search underway.
Oopsy, dupsy.
What a fun headline.
Look, you know, yes.
Did we squeak the wrong guy out?
But we're looking for him.
You're welcome
The Cowlitz County Sheriff's office is looking for a convict who was accidentally released from custody according to officials
So we so we're saw we that's a bun to this to we are saw we that's a bun to vista we are so we
Land before time yeah, I was fucking right. That's what he says.
Lamb dunk.
Swish, boonk.
You are the perfect age to have seen the first Land Before Time
before time before the subsequent 6,000 Land Before Time
sequel.
And if you're under 30, you should watch the first Land Before Time
and then Google, hey, is there any really fucked up trivia about any of the voice actors from Land Before Time that'll make you really depressed?
I don't think there was.
Alternatively, watch a good movie.
Hey, oh, hey, we're podcasted in the year.
Deputies say they learned of the inmate Brian Francisco Roman.
26 of Longview escaping prison Monday.
Roman was able to leave the prison.
I mean he didn't escape prison.
Roman was able to leave the prison by impersonating a cellmate scheduled for release.
I reckon a guide came in and said,
Are you the guy who's getting out today? And he said, yes.
Yes.
You guys are going to love the next three paragraphs on this article. I want, like for anybody who thinks that maybe, that maybe, that maybe, that maybe, that maybe, that maybe, that maybe, that maybe, that maybe, that maybe, that maybe, that maybe, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi going to love the next three paragraphs on this article.
Like for anybody who thinks that maybe we're unprepared, I've stressed this tens, maybe
dozens of times on this show.
Ben really prefers that we do not read the stories before we read them on air.
I specifically ask you to not do that. According to the CCCSO, a corrections officer went to get an inmate scheduled for release and to to to their their their their their the the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. Yes, the the the the the. Yes, the. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the an in the an in theanan, theanan, theanan, theanan, thean, thean, thean, thean, the an the an to the C.C.S.O.
A corrections officer went to get an inmate scheduled for release and found all three inmates in the cell asleep.
They were in a little cuddle-puddle.
When the officer called for the inmate, Roman claimed to be the prisoner being released.
Uh-huh, that's me. That's me.
Yeah. Oh the guy getting out today? Uh-huh, that's me. See what they don't
tell you when you're the guy that picks up the guy that's got to get out
prison is that other people also got to want to get out. You want to more than
one guy wants to leave? Yeah. Doesn't check out. I work here and I love it.
Authorities say during the release process Roman received the inmates property including clothing keys and wallet which contained
Which contained ID which I assume had someone else's photo on it and a debit card
It was only I gotta need this stuff
? It's gonna be real hard unless you have all of this stuff
Have you lost weight the guard, giving him his ID back?
It was only after the inmate who was meant to be released,
questions corrections officers about his release time,
did they realize what happened?
So when you're going to let me out?
Yeah, we did.
Stop trying to trick us.
You don't here anymore, OK? We let you go an hour ago.
If you're getting out of prison, right, like that's the long, do you reckon that's the longest day
in prison and the last day in prison? Do you think those are the longest days in prison?
Yeah? I'm... That sounds like something that someone in a prison movie would say? Much like... All you need to know is the the the the the the longest the longest the longest the longest is the longest the longest the longest is the longest the longest the longest the longest the longest the longest the longest is the longest the longest the longest the longest the longest days the longest days the longest days the longest days the longest days the longest days the longest days tho thi is thi is tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to go go go go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to to to to to to to to to to toe. We toe. We to know is the two longest days you're ever got to have it here your first day your last day
Capiche. Yes, capiche. Um I much like literally from Shawshank redemption. I don't know at this point. No, he no red says to Andy. You better get busy living or get busy dying. Yeah, that's what he says in that way. Oh, the first and last the the the the the the the last the last the last the last the last days days days days days days days days days days days days days days days days days days days days days days days days days days. the last days. the last days. the last days. the the the longest the longest the longest the longest the longest the to to to the the the the longest days. to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th. two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two two tod two two today. two today. thy. tho tho tho tho the the the the the Red says to Andy, you better get busy living or get busy dying.
Yeah.
That's what he says in that way.
Because the first and last days of being in prison.
Get busy living during your first day and then get busy dying during your last day.
Yeah.
Hey, by so you just started your second longest day in prison.
Roman was last seen wearing a blue hoodie sweatshirt, a black shirt, gray sweatpants, and brown slippers.
If you see this man, leave him alone.
Yeah, don't, standing your fucking business.
Mind your own fucking business.
He did. And plus it's not him. He's the other guy because he has these idea, these wallet.
Yeah, you're gonna go up to him and you're gonna say, hey, are, hey are you, what's the guy who was meant to get out's name?
They don't say.
Hmm. Were you meant to be released from prison and he'll say, sure.
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Here's my
ID. I shaved. Or whatever.
Maybe he did the, uh,
the doctor Richard Kimball shave off his beard and dye his hair a darker color.
Yeah.
Gas station bathroom, dye job.
Classic.
If you're under 30, check out the movie, the fugitive, staring Harrison Ford.
That's pretty good.
No, it's a perfectly... And then don't watch it.
It's a really serviceable thriller, in my opinion.
Which is why I'm saying if you're under 30, you're going to watch it, you're going to be like, ooh.
I thought the third act could use a little bit of tightening up.
Shuttip. He didn't fucking have one. Yeah, yeah. Uh, let's, uh, let's, uh, you guys wouldn't even, you're even tick-talk?
You think Richard Kimball's tick-talk?
Why didn't he do a viral tick-talk to prove his innocence?
Pointing to some ticks that says, I murdered my wife, shaking his head.
It was the one-armed man?
Noting.
And arrest warrant has been issued on charges of escape in the second degree.
What's the first degree, like stabbing a guard and getting out?
I don't know.
I reckon first degree is when you use your pickax to break your chain when you're on like rock-breaking duty.
Yeah. And you run away like rock breaking duty. Yeah, and you
run away like through the bayou and there's bloodhounds after you and deputies
firing off their shotguns in the air. I think that's first degree. Yeah, but
whereas if you walk out and no one's even, no one even knows and you're just like
trying to just hold it. You want to smile but but you can't. You probably actually can because you're impersonated.
Just got out of, you smile as much as you want, actually.
Yeah. But no one knows.
Oh, you look really happy, is it because you escape from prison?
No, I was released. Let me show you my ID.
He was walking out of the thing, thinking, damn my life a movie, you know.
Yeah, but life a movie. You know? Damn my life of a movie, for real.
Escape in the second degree, criminal impersonation in the first degree,
forgery, because I assume he had to sign some paperwork to get someone else's pants back.
I am Craig.
Oh, perfect.
Off you go.
You're Craig right, for sure.
I am Craig.
Just signs Craig.
One word. Theft signs Craig. One word.
Theft in the second degree and theft in the third degree.
And on this podcast we do not recognize the difference between those crimes.
Both cool.
If they're saying that the escape, forgery and criminal impersonation charges are from this escape,
they can fuck right off. They walked in there and they said, hey, which one of you guys wants to go free?
And he said, oh, I'd like to. They said, tremendous to leave prison today.
Yeah, you know what? I'm actually a guy that doesn't like being in prison? That sounds great.
Hey, doors open. Who wants to walk out it?
the exit?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Folks, I'm going to tell you a little fact right now. Are you ready? Are you sitting down,
listening to this? Maybe you're in your car, maybe you're in your home, maybe you're working,
and you've got your wireless earbuds in.
But the fact I'm going to lay on you is this. You have just listened to an entire episode of the podcast,
Buntavista. Yeah, and playpull is closed as well. It's slammed shut.
Playproll. Well, we've got some more days in playproll. There's several more days in playprol. Yeah, you're going to be able to play Peral right up until I guess when the bonus episode comes out a little bit after actually.
Now I'm the first to admit that I do not know how many days are in different months.
I think days have September, April, June and November.
PlayProl is one of the normal ones. Yeah. That's, and as we all know, reality is taking place in the present. So, you know, you've got five days, five days?
Reality is taking place in the present.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We are living in the moment.
What I'm saying is, if you leave this on your podcast app and listen to it on like
the second of May, that's not my fucking problem. I don't have to deal with that. I process it, you know, you can't
send me a fucking message that says, hey, it's actually the 7th of May and I'm
listening to this and I've got a problem because it's the 26th of April now.
It's playprol, bitch. Don't fucking come back to me about it later. It's play April April April April. It's play April. It's play April. It's play play play play play play play play play play play play play play play th. the th. th. the podcast. th. th. the th. the th. th. th. the thioppically. thiopoomp-a' thoomp-upon. their thiol. thi come back to me about it later. It's playperal and you can
plug this podcast that you love. Tell somebody about it. Go and go and put a
bloody review on the podcast store. The podcast store. Go down to the brick and mortar
podcast store, ask for a feedback form, fill it in. Take one of the staff picks, little handwritten notes that they've put in front of one of the other podcasts like serial or whatever the fuck.
Copy the handwriting exactly.
Criminally impersonate Mitch, the employee at the podcast store and say,
One of my quirky faves, this is a real popcorn classic, five stars.
Done, easy.
Too fucking easy.
Well, we love every one of you individually and we'll talk to you soon. Bye. Oh.