Boonta Vista - EPISODE 301: All Kinds Of Wet Treasure

Episode Date: June 19, 2023

Lucy, Theo and Andrew bring you: A wet Jeep, the stinkiest Nazi rubber in Texas, airholing the Kennebec River, angry cows, Swiss diaper trouble, and a dispatch from a big dinner. *** Support our show ...and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at mailbag@boontavista.com! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to Bunteravista Episode 301, we're coming to you live from CSPN, the home of barge-based illegal sports in international waters. I'm your host Andrew and we are mere moments away from starting the first round of the 14th annual Monkey Knife Fight Invitationals. Here's a sure sign that things are about to kick off. Walking around the ring and holding a large card indicating the number of the thirty-card indicating the 14th annual Monkey Knife Fight Invitationals. Here's a sure sign that things are about to kick off. Walking around the ring and holding a large card indicating the number of the first round, that's one for you folks keeping score at home. Wearing a pleaded denim minisko skirt over a micro bikini and barely staying up on six-inch stiletto heels, slathered in fake tan and smiling lustily at every cat call from the audience. It, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, too, the audience, it, it, the audience, it, the audience, it, the too, the their, their, their, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, and their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their, their, their-a, the, toge, toge, toge, toge.e. toguuuu.e. togu. togu. togu. togu. togu. their, their, every cat call from the audience, it's Theo.
Starting point is 00:01:05 Yeah. And that's the funniest joke you could make in England. Nearly got me. Looking good. They do, they do love to have a joke that's just men in a dress and then also go psycho about gender stuff. Yeah. It's supposed to be funny, not sexy. Not when I do it though.
Starting point is 00:01:31 I'm 100% sincere at the moment. Yeah. I'm taking this very seriously. Really been working up to this. Yeah, I'm glad to be here. It is funny. I only brought the one sign, the sign with one on it for a true, thrown in a th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, thin in, thin in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in, in a thin in a thin in a thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th, th, thin, thin, thin, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, the thin, the thin, thin, the sign, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, to this. Yeah I'm glad to be here. It is funny I only brought the one sign, the sign with one on it for round one, but these monkey knife fights never seem to go past round one anyway. Yeah, it's a real one and done kind of deal. Yeah, you're right. And the rounds are 30 minutes long, so... So you're right, we really need a second sign.
Starting point is 00:02:09 Yeah, and if things... It's 30 minutes of fighting and then three hours of mopping. Yeah. Crossing back to the action, now let's get a look at the reigning champion. A six-foot-tall, 130 kilograms silver back gorilla known only as Dunstan the Destroyer. We can't get an interview with Dunstan's coach right now as Dunstan has fully removed the skin from his coach's face and body. And here's our challenger.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Primarily known as the breakout star of the highly immoral and mean-spirited hidden camera show, monkeys go nana's. It's Jumpy George, the world's most nervous chimp. Crossing Ringside for a quick interview with Jumpy George's coach, it's Lucy. Lucy how are you feeling about George's chances today? I'm the coach, I was fully ready to be the monkey. Some days you're the coach, some days you're a monkey. You know, I'm feeling good. He's got a spirit that you wouldn't expect from a monkey of such a nervous, you know, vibe. It's a big, big pull of urine around his feet. Is it just good to get out of that out of the way?
Starting point is 00:03:13 It's good to get that out of the way. Because, you know, you don't want to be needing to take a piss during the monkey knife fight. You know. No. No, no, you can't they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. th thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. the th. th. th. th the thi. the thi. the thi. the the the thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. ta. ta. ta. try. too. ta. try. thi. thi. th can't call time. So it's good to get all that out there, you know, it's focus. You need to focus on the knife phone. The monkeys that we put in there that can sign are constantly signing that they want to time out. Toilet. Bathroom. Bathroom. And Lucy, I notice your face still the face still attached. That's not the case for all that's that's the the the th th the th the th th to th the to th. to the to the thus the thus thus the the thus tho the the the the tho the the the the to focus to focus the to focus to focus the the to focus to focus to focus to focus the the the the the the the the the knife the knife the knife the knife the knife the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to focus to to to to to focus to to focus to to focus to thus. thus. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi. thi. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi. thi. thi. tho the the tho tho the the tho to feel good right? That feels great and you know I'm feeling great about it. Yeah. Happy to be here. No, that's not that's not the case for all our competitors. I'll just say I'm not going to name names but that's not. You go accept the risk. So how do you get your little chimp all revved up for a knife fight? HGH mostly. HGH and a some 41 album playing on 11. That's right. He's listening to Fat Lip. He's got his Bananas, laced with HGH. Oh, he's so revved up. He's so nervous. RIP. Jumpy George. We'll say that ahead of time.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Yeah, he's definitely not going to make it through this time. Jumpy George. You get paid out in the way. Yeah. I get paid. Yeah, either the prize money or the butcher money. The butcher money. Well, it is open waters here, so we're not going to frown on anything. Yeah, when we're done here, just step right over to our dog food stall. Is that what we? Manky steaks. We're a vertically integrated enterprise here at the CNSPN, what do we?
Starting point is 00:04:58 CSPN? C. I'm on the CSPN barge. not, one-knock. Yeah, I'm looking forward to gridiron with guns later at the day. Oh, that'd be a pretty good sport. Yeah, I mean, they're already got armor on, so it's probably not as ridiculous as it sounds. I think like to prevent too many, like season-ending injuries, I think everybody getsto prevent too many like season ending injuries I think everybody gets one of those everybody gets a derringer. Everybody gets one of the tiny little lady guns from the Old West that has two bullets in it and then I think
Starting point is 00:05:39 that's good because you got to make it count then you know you're gonna be serious you can't just be shooting around willy-nilly. Yeah you're not gonna with to, with a gun of that kind of size, you're not going to like, as soon as the kickoff happens, just start firing at the other team. You've got to be a lot closer to make it work, I think. And you've got to use it strategically. You don't get to reload until the end end end end end end end end end end end end end end end end end end end the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the quarter. Do they do quarters in American football or just halves? Gotta be quarters, right? More ads that way. Then they got a half-time break. Yeah, they probably do bloody 16th, you know? Yeah, they're crazy over there.
Starting point is 00:06:16 They're measurements, this is crazy. Yes, we sure are out in deep water here on the CSPN barge. Somewhere else that you might encounter water of various depths. Yeah. Is it a dam? Time to see what's going on in a dam in dam watch. Good enough for government work. Yep. It comes to some. KSNW, this new in Kansas. Man catches more than fish at Cheney Lake.
Starting point is 00:06:55 Fire Department helps reel in a big one. What do you reckon he caught, Lucy? Big, big boot. Yeah, it's got to be a big boot, right. I'm picturing big boot. Yeah, he caught Andre the Giants... Maybe a big can. Oh, maybe a rusty can. One of those like really big industrial-sized cans, you know, they need the big machine to open, they tip it into one of those really big mixing bowls.
Starting point is 00:07:18 Yeah, I like that. A man fishing for crappy. I was midway through a sip of coffee there and I didn't quite catch that. This, this motherfucker fishing for crappy. What's the problem? What's the issue? Leaning over to my date when crappy comes on this game. It's fishing for crappy. I'll say, crappy, not a bad-looking fish. I think it's better than- Are we spelling it how you would think?
Starting point is 00:07:54 That's double P-p-i-e. Oh, that's a little guy. Look at him. Were we all aware of the humble crappy? No. I'd never heard of a crappy. I wonder if crappie's good eaten. He's nice. He's got a nice shape to him. Yeah, I like the shape of those fins. You know? It's really working it.
Starting point is 00:08:15 The name is deceiving. Yeah, good colors. A man was fishing for crappy at Chaney Lake on Memorial Day and found more than he bargained for. He found a Jeep, more than 16 feet below the surface. Not what I was expecting. It was low on my list of expectations. That's almost certainly gonna snap your line, I think. How did he really in a jeep?
Starting point is 00:08:40 John Mounce calls himself a big-time crappy fisherman. I wouldn't call myself that. I do, I do. Walking into the bar announcing it to a room full of strangers. Yeah, I'm a crappy fisherman. Big time. He's having fun with it. I like it. He has all the newest high-tech sonar gear including a live scope. Huh. I don't know shit about fishing. No. Yeah my father-in-law is a very keen fisherman and he's got like
Starting point is 00:09:15 the shit on his boat where and I'm sure that this is like very normal to anybody who's doing it in any kind of huge amount. But he's got like the sonar stuff where you're cruising around somewhere and then he's like, up, a whole bunch of fish down there. It feels like cheating to me. Dumb to fish? It feels like fishing sot. Like a...
Starting point is 00:09:37 Yeah. No technology passed, nylon. Yeah, that's all you can have. You can have a fancy fishing rod and that's it. So well apparently this guy has a scope that you can like send down on your fishing line? Like a GoPro type thing. I'm thinking like a sniper rifle scope. He's just like shooting fish.
Starting point is 00:10:06 Bending over the edge face under the water. Okay, no, this, yeah, yeah, I'm looking at some pictures here. I'm trying to figure out what a, it's live sonar. What a scope. Yeah, it is, it is straight up like an underwater infrared camera. That does feel like cheating. That's crazy. It feels a little like cheating, I'm gonna be honest with you. So I guess it's, yeah, it's different to traditional sonar as I understand it.
Starting point is 00:10:40 The Garmin live scope, the pen optics live scope. You can see what's going on down there. But here's my contention, that's none of my business. So that just looks like, that is just like a depth photo, right? Like it's showing, all right, this is a podcast so it's not a visual medium. It's shown what's down there. Yeah, yep. You can see like some kelp and stuff. It's a the bed the bed the bed the bed the bed the bed the bed th kind kind kind the bed th kind kind kind the bed th kind th kind th kind th kind th. th. th. th. th. th. thine the. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thia. thea. theaugheck. theck. thea. thea. thea. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. It's the. It's the. It's the. It's thea. It's thea. It's theananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananananannenea. It's thea. kelp and stuff. Yep. It's a coral.
Starting point is 00:11:05 You can see the bed. That kind of thing. I guess it's, is it infrared? Is that what that is? Is that lock nest? Getting a pussyate. From the back. That's not what I expected to see.
Starting point is 00:11:22 Huh. And that's what these scopes are for really. Yeah mainly. You can use them for other stuff like fishing but yeah if you want to do a little little treat while you're down there. Jesus. So he sent his live scope down there. Cheating cheating. On Monday he was about he was about 130 feet from the dam when he saw something on one of his monitors plural Kind of fucking rigged does his dude have yeah He dropped down his live scope to get a better look. It feels very American right like going You know, I'm just gonna get back to basics go out fishing etc. I need my my jewel monitor. I need my my jewel monitor to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the know, I'm just going to get back to basics, go out fishing, etc. Oh yeah, I need my my jewel monitor set up. Yeah, my live scope. I need my NSA approved fish monitoring devices.
Starting point is 00:12:17 My torque controlled fishing rod. You can just buy fish at the store. I don't know. Yeah. Someone else that doesn't, yeah. You know how many fish at the store. I don't know if many people know this. Yeah. You know how many fish you would have to buy to pay for a boat? And you're a fancy equipment too? Yep, yep. You'd be eating salmon every night. You could. You could be eating like a good fish even. Ooh! Contentious fish chat here. Here's my, here's my contentious fish opinion. I don't think any of them are that good.
Starting point is 00:12:53 No, they're not, are they. Fish, you're on blast. Seafood guy. Who me? Who me? I'm not? Yeah, it's very, uh, I largely think I can't really tell the difference other than like going to a really fancy Japanese restaurant and getting like, you know, extremely fresh sashimi
Starting point is 00:13:15 or something. Yeah, yeah, that's the only time. The rest of the time I'm like, wow, this is a lot like all of the other fish I've eaten. Oh, more wet flesh, thank you. Cool. I like it wet. Yeah, main question is what kind of source did you put on the wet flesh?
Starting point is 00:13:31 Yeah. So he dropped his scope down to get a better look. He said it was obvious to him that it was a Jeep. I guess. This guy's a jeep's a, you know, it's an obvious car. We've got a certified Jeep recognizer here. Pull it out and it's a Toyota Land Cruiser. Fuck, fuck, idiot.
Starting point is 00:13:54 Shit. Imagine saying that to the, uh, to the people who arrived later. Oh, it's obviously a Jeep. I knew it it's Jeep the whole time later. It's obviously a cheap. I knew it was a Jeep. I knew it's cheap the whole time. I saw it on my scope. Maybe your average man would have just thought it was some kind of car or off-road vehicle. There's got to be a shitload of these down there, right?
Starting point is 00:14:18 Cars, yeah. You know how people go, you know how, you know, they'll go scuba diving and they go to dive sites because there's just boats everywhere on the bottom of the ocean. Because once it's down there, what are you going to do? Yeah, that's right. It's the oceans now. That's right. The ocean's really big. Where's this? Is this in the ocean or is this on a lake? This isn't a dam? Isn't a damn? Even? Even a da? Even? Even? Even? Even? Even? Even? Even? Even? the the the the the the th? th. Even? th? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tham? tham? th. the. the, the? the? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What? What? What? What? th. th. What? th. the. What the. the. the. the. the. the the. the the. the the. the the the. ththem. Gotta be tons, right? Stacked up on top of each other. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:47 Go wading in and immediately bang your knee, really hard on a mast. It's probably what's happening. It's a Maserati. Mounce also noticed a couple of crappy on the hood of the vehicle. So he caught the fish first, then packed up and called the authority about the chief. What do you mean? You can't see a fisher than catch a fish. This is bullshit. You think he's targeting those individual fish? Yeah. Or
Starting point is 00:15:14 saying that he is but he's a liar. No, I think he's using his, like how is he... Because fish aren't really bound to stay in the same zone? No. Like I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. Yeah. their th the. th th the. th the. the. the. the. the. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the. the. theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat theat the. theat the. the. the. the. 't really bound to stay in the same zone. Like we are, like I got a house, I've got to keep coming back here. Yeah, they don't have a house. Houseless fishes. Imagine the freedom of being a fish, you know? We can't imagine with our nine to five life. What have they done to us? Yeah, we've made us land been lubbing any land lately? I guess. Yeah, I don't really
Starting point is 00:15:46 know any other way to be. What is life if not land lubbing? Love it or leave it? Yeah. Love it or live in the ocean. Laugh, leave. Live. Live. Live. Live. Live. Live. Love. Love. love. Do you say larp? Ha-lub. I just realize there's definitely signs you can get that say live laup, love. That surely exists. Surely that's an easy Etsy listing right there. Oh yeah. If it's not, I'm about to start a side hustle. And the cheaper if you buy them in three or more, so get one for each member of your polygues.
Starting point is 00:16:32 There is actually a documentary. Cool. Oh no, it's in post-production. Live, love, larp. Ordinary people become extraordinary characters that inhabit other worlds. So it is a documentary about larping. Yeah. It's new for release soon. I think we should get a slice of the profits. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:53 But if they end up, if they end up owing any money, that's nothing to do with us. And on Red Bubble here, you can get yourself a print of Live. Love. And it's got like a cool, a cool helmet and some to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the their their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their larp their larp. I larp. I larp. I larp. I larp. I larp. I'll the tape tape tape tape tape tape tape tape tho. the the the the a cool helmet and some crossed swords. Putting that one up in my Funko Pop room. Sedgwick County Sheriff's Office deputies met mounts at his house far away from the Jeep. He showed them his video and detailed pictures from the scope. They said that that seems like too much stuff for fishing. Yeah. That's funny. They said it was definitely a Jeep. They agreed it was also easy for them to tell that it was a Jeep.
Starting point is 00:17:36 That's a red car. And began making arrangements to haul it out of the lake. Why? It's gaited them the coordinates and authorities set out to find the Jeep.. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tapeapeaugheatheauea' tape. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tape. tape stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff toe to find to find tape tape tape tipe tipeateateateateateatea tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip gave them the coordinates and authorities set out to find the Jeep. It's not going anyway. Leave it down there. Not bothering anyone. It's a fish house now. Yeah, it sounds like it's a nice, nice home for some gentle crappy, you know. Hmm. But divers with the Sedgwick County Fire Department had trouble finding it in the dark and muddy water. Ah, you should get some scopes, some fishing scopes, you find it straight away.
Starting point is 00:18:12 So Mouth said they called and asked him to return to the lake to help. Oh my god. So he did. But by the time he arrived, one of the divers had already found the vehicle. Turn around and go home, buddy. Go home, bitch. Oh, you bring all these stupid shit with you? Cool. Take it back home. Mounce watched as crews hooked onto the vehicle and pulled it from the lake.
Starting point is 00:18:38 He said, the Jeep is in bad shape. I bet. Yeah. Probably not usable anymore. That's not what you're supposed to store your Jeep. A bunch of fish shit in it. Like when you sign up to get insurance from a company and they have that box that says is the Jeep currently garaged or stored at the bottom of dam. If you say store to the bottom of a dam, your premium is going up. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mount said a woman, the bottom of the dam, your premium is going up. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:05 Mounce said a woman reached out to him about the vehicle. Her jeep disappeared in 2007 or 2008, and she wondered if it was hers. Okay. Yeah. I don't think it works anymore though. Do you have any more information about the Jeep other than I had a Jeep and it disappeared? Yeah, I can't see it right now so that's probably it. Just trying to claim that Jeep for herself. Yeah
Starting point is 00:19:30 free wet Jeep. It's to dry. Put in some rice. Free Jeep. Rice not included. Oh it's gonna be so many bags of rice. Hone. going to be so many bags of rice, honestly. The Cedric County Sheriff's Office is still trying to determine where the vehicle came from. Jeep Factory. Yeah. Solved it. A Sheriff's Office spokesperson said deputies could not find the vehicle identification number, but they think it appears to be an 80s model Jeep. This is a great detective work here. That's an old ass Jeep. How long's it been down there for, you know? Since the 80s? I guess. That'd be cool. That'd be cooler than if someone just bought an old jeep
Starting point is 00:20:20 and said, this jeep sucks. Rove it into the... You think that's what happened though? That's j- their their their their their their their their their th. That's their their it into the... You think that's what happened though, just like, oh this Jeep fucking sucks, I'm going to drive it into a tame. I should have bought a new Jeep. Splash. Cheney Lake Party Cove is a know what form that takes. Is it just people saying I like the lake? Hey, you're doing a great job, like. Don't put any more jeeps in the lake. Hey, stop putting jeeps in the lake. Leave the lake in the lake in the lake. Leave the lake in
Starting point is 00:20:59 the lake in the condition you found it with only one jeep in it. When you you put a Jeep in it pushes a Jeep's worth of water out of the lake. We never get that back. It would. So that's where erode the shore with all of those Jeep splashing in there and make them waves. You know, go to think about these things. So this is, this is from the Facebook page. Quote, John Mounce was fishing along the dam today and caught himself a Jeep. Then it's got the emoji that's kind of blushing with the big circular eyes.
Starting point is 00:21:35 Shocked looking emoji. And then the emoji with the top of the head is doing like a little mushroom cloud. Yeah, explosion. The divers caught the Jeep. He justthe head is doing like a little mushroom cloud. Yeah, explosion. The divers caught the Jeep. He just saw it on his stupid eyes. He just saw it on his bullshit camera. Yeah. You are an aquatic jeep spotter.
Starting point is 00:21:55 So you are not an aquatic jeep hunter. Now, if this guy was a hunter of jeeps, I would respect that more, right? Like if he went out there expecting to find a jeep, then, you know what, credit, credit to you. But he didn't. He went out there looking for some crappy and he found a jeep. So, idiot. Yeah. Fucked it up. Fucked it up. It up. It It's not even a bit like a fish. Uh, final line for this story from KSNW in Kansas. Somebody wrote this down, just so you know. Something got paid to write this down this final line.
Starting point is 00:22:38 Both Cheney Lake Party Cove and John Mounce are getting a lot of funny comments about the find on their Facebook pages. Okay. Go on. Any gags? Oh no, it doesn't give us any. It's just, oh.
Starting point is 00:22:52 Just letting you know that they are hearing some funny stuff. the cop's hearing some funny stuff. Yeah. Again, this just feels like this guy going to get so many funny comments on my on my Facebook everyone's loving it. The cops begged for my help. Yep. And everybody on Facebook is hitting like on my posts. Oh dear. Stay out of there everybody. Although sometimes you go down the dam you find a little wet treasure, but sometimes the wet treasure is disconcerting, like it is on this week's omens and portents. You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn his fire upon the ground.
Starting point is 00:23:43 You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon and you shall know that God is God and bow down to his will. So is this specifically about a wet treasure this omens importance? Yes. Oh okay. What kinds of wet treasures? That's right. Oh, we're doing a dramatic through line. What kinds of wet treasures like Loch Ness Monster getting eaten from the back? Yeah. Jesus. Can't put a dollar amount on it, but... Priceless.
Starting point is 00:24:21 This comes to us from K-H from KHOU in Houston, Texas. The coup! Man finds lost Nazi loot on Texas beach. Hey, that's mine. Give that back. It doesn't belong to you. It's not for you. How do I get up?
Starting point is 00:24:42 It's not for you. Yeah, I guess they got some beaches. Okay. Texas, pretty big. Texas, yeah, they got a whole bit dangling in the water down the bottom. They got a chunk. I feel like it's got to feel pretty good if you're one of the states in the US that gets a little bit of ocean, right? Yeah, it must be nice. Otherwise you're stuck with the Great Lakes insisting that you have a beach? Yeah, it's not really a beach. It's
Starting point is 00:25:09 not a beach. Like Michigan, not a beach. Yeah, that is. Lake Edge. Christopher Davis has been combing the beaches of Texas's Galveston Island for years. Describing what he usually finds on his searches, quote, mainly sea beans, old bones, unfortunately old coke bottles. Sorry. Mainly, primarily, mainly sea beans. Check out this new diet I'm on. Uh huh. You should not be on that diet Lucy Bines. Yep. Check out this new diet I'm on. You should not be on that diet Lucy. I know it's your body your choice but. Beans are good they're fibrous. Yeah. How's Pat? It's good. It's good. I'm just looking at some sea beans. Okay. What's a sea bean? Do they
Starting point is 00:26:10 look like beans? Like grain beans or bean beans? Sea beans also known as samphia, glasswat, pickle weed or sea asparagus, depending on where you are in the world. All right, grain bean situation. It's not ringing any bells. Yeah, yeah, I can smell that. With the highest salinity tolerance of any plant. Huh. Sea beans are considered halophytes that flourish across saltwater beaches and coastal marshlands.
Starting point is 00:26:40 They are technically flowering succulents and their branch-like stalks resemble thick grass that when eaten provide a satisfying, salty light....... Yeah, that, that, that, that, that, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the, I the, I can the, I can the, I can the, I can thi thi, I can the, I can thi, I can thi, I can thi, I can thi, I can can can thi, I can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can can thi, I can the, I can the, I can the, I can the, I can the, I can the, I can the, I can the, I can the, I can the, I can the their branch-like stalks resemble thick grass that when eaten provide a satisfying, salty bite. Oh, you can eat him. Yeah. This mothuckers eat like a lot of sodium. It does, but hey, you know, you've got to season your food properly. Mainly sea beans.
Starting point is 00:27:02 None of those things are particularly unusual, particularly compared to the finding he made in San Luis Pass near Galveston Island late last month. Quote, as I was going along I noticed in that pile, hey there's one of those bundles, Davis explained. You know the ones? You're immediately familiar with the bundles but for those that aren't aware, what is it? the the that, hey there's one of those bunds? the the bu bund. the bund. the bund. the bund. the bund. the bund. the bund. the bund. the bund. the bunds? the bu. the bu. the bu. the bu. the bu. the bu. the bu. the bu. they. Yeah? Yeah, they. they. they. Yeah, you? Yeah, you're, you're, familiar with the bundles, but for those that aren't aware. What is it? Hey, there's one of those bundles, Davis explained. And there it was. A giant hunk of dark brown rubber, covered in barnacles and drenched in an ungodly smell.
Starting point is 00:27:41 Not what I thought a bundle would be. Nope. You got some stinky rubber, hey buddy? It just sounds like stinky rubber. It'll be your stinkiest rubber, please. Quote, it was horrible, a horrible stench, Davis emphasized. To say Davis was excited, who would be an understatement,
Starting point is 00:28:04 it was the potentially lucrative discovery he was looking for. Quote, I feel like a kid in a candy store with an unlimited budget, Davis said. So he feels like somebody with diabetes. Yeah. I'm gonna need some kind of elaboration. He knew exactly what it was. They're playing coy with us.
Starting point is 00:28:29 They're trying to introduce some interest. They shouldn't have put the n-word in the headline if they didn't want us to... Pardon? I skipped past that one. I'm not sure what you're saying right now. The other, the other n-word. About the Nazi loot. Oh, oh, I forgot I forgot. I that that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is thii- thi- thi- thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thii thi- thi-t. thi-t thi-t thi-t thi-a thi-a thi-a tha tha tha thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing thoing th other, the other N-word. But the Nazi loot. Oh, oh, I forgot about the Nazi loot.
Starting point is 00:28:49 That has exited my brain. Mere seconds ago. Serendipitously, the discovery was made on Memorial Day weekend. Well, salute the troops. Yeah. By getting, OK. Davis had heard stories about pieces of Nazi loot lost during World War II washing up on Texas beaches.
Starting point is 00:29:15 As the story goes, back in 1944, American ships off the coast of Brazil spotted a German blockade runner called the SS Rio Grande. Des was called the SS Rio Grande. Des was called the Rio Grande? Sure man. The U.S.S. Omaha and the U.S. Jue. Fired on the Nazi ship, sending it and its cargo three miles down to the bottom of the ocean. That's too far down. Yeah. That's... I don't want to go down there.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Not play James Cameron. Yeah. That's, I don't want to go down there. Not believe James Cameron. Yeah. He's right down there. That's scary to me. I think three miles to him is nothing. He thumbs his nose at three miles. Yeah, that's shallow to him. Yeah. How far is the, the Mariana trench? How far down is that, that, maybe? 10 or 12 Ks? So probably like seven miles I'm gonna guess. Damn bro get out of there. The entire loot had remained there until about three years ago when the floating bales of rubber started washing ashore. Oh So they they they rubbered up their treasures, I guess. Yeah, okay.
Starting point is 00:30:29 Good on him. Keep him safe. Hmm. What makes the find even more interesting are the tales of treasure, specifically gold they may contain. Quite, I think the gold came from the fact that a lot of people think that the Nazis on board would escape to Argentina and so they were packing the gold for them to have when they finally made it there.
Starting point is 00:30:53 If they made it there, Davis said. Davis and his friends started cutting the rubber open. Their effort didn't result in gold. Only more of that nasty smell. Huh. That's a... I was hoping for some Nazi stuff, but instead I got something yucky. Uh, if anything, discovering the stinky load of latex has left Davis wanting to find more.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Why? Why? That sounds stinky. This man is addicted to stinky rubber now. Just kind of, you ever just, you can't, oh it's bad, but oh, but you can't stop smelling it? Yeah, like petrol. Yeah. Ooh. Bleat. It brings a girl home, it, uh, it's bad, but... Ooh, but you can't stop smelling it. Yeah, like petrol. Yeah. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:31:47 A bleach. Brings a girl home into his, into his bedroom. What's that smell? Oh, you're not going to believe. I found some stinky rubber on the beach, and it contained no Nazi memorabilia. I wished it was Nazi memorabilia, but it wasn't. But it wasn't, it just sucked. And it stunk real bad.
Starting point is 00:32:07 Walking into this dude's house, gagging, and he says, what? Oh, yeah, I can't even smell anymore. You get used to it. You get used to it, trust me. God damn. Don't, uh. What, get rid of it? No, I'm hoping for some more. Yeah. It's all I can think about.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Stinky, stinky rubber. My God. Hello, it's me. Ben, from this podcast. Marian Webster defines a podcast as a program made available in digital format for automatic download over the internet, and that simply could not be more true. If you like what we do and want more of this podcast made available to you in digital format for automatic download over the internet. And that simply could not be more true. If you like what we do and want more of this podcast made available to you in digital format for automatic download over the internet, simply go to
Starting point is 00:32:50 Patreon. to the to'n'evista and hit the enormous button that says subscribe. For five US dollars a month you get access to our weekly bonus episodes, our entire archivethe bonus episodes and free episode that doesn't have these ads in them. That sweet, sweet subscriber cash allows me to do this show full-time without having to get a real job and frankly that whips to me. The other guys also get some money or whatever but I don't really care. Anyway, check that out if it sounds good to you. Love you. Uh, right, okay. Speaking of wet treasure?
Starting point is 00:33:29 Mm-hmm. Sure, I mean, look, there's no rule against reusing it. Okay, well, I'm just, look, honestly, I'm trying to find a thread. More wet treasure. More wet treasure? Well, look, yes, please. This story's got some... I'm never going to say no to wet treasure. You guys know that about me by now, right?
Starting point is 00:33:49 Yeah, yeah. If we know anything about each other after all these years, it's this, Theo will never turn his nose up at wet treasure. I'm never going to say no to wet treasure? Sometimes the wetness is a river and sometimes the treasure is the relationship between a father and son. Wait I haven't gone far enough into this story to establish it's father and son. It's fine. Maybe it's just buddies. Anyway it's time for the nothing to report report. It's the nothing to report, report, report, report, report, report, the nothing to report, report, report, the nothing to report, report, report. What happened? Nothing. Shhh. So you should mind your fucking business. It's nothing to report, report, report, report,
Starting point is 00:34:47 report, nothing to report, report, report, report. Nothing to report, report report, report. Nothing to report report, report. This comes to us in the morning sentinel in Maine. Pair arrested for Augusta shooting had been firing into river, police say. What's the crime? What's the crime? They're just fishing. They're using a different kind of scope for their that's right. It's blasting in there. 50 cows. Two men were arrested Saturday on multiple charges after police say they shot a gun into the Kennebec River in downtown Augusta near several people who were fishing on the
Starting point is 00:35:31 Western Bank. We're all just fishing. Yeah. You know. Police also say in papers filed at the Capitol Judicial Center that a woman who was frightened by the gunshots and, quote, running for her life, fell and broke her leg. Skill issue. Yeah. That's a it's a you problem. You know how many times of my life I've been running and fallen down and broke my leg? Zero. That's zero for me, skill issue. Yeah, I'm yet to break a bone, and I never will. Same. Zero for three, broken legs when running well scared on this
Starting point is 00:36:05 podcast. Lady? Yeah and I do a lot of running while scared let me tell you. A lot of shrieking while he does it multitasking. Fleaing I'm a big fleaer. Not a fight guy. Very flight. Yeah mostly flight. Now that you mention it. A round 6.30pm. Augusta police received a number of a fight guy. Yeah, mostly flight. Beak into flight, now that you mention it. Around 6.30pm, Augusta Police received a number of 911 calls reporting a person or people shooting guns in the area of Water Street, according to the department. Wow. Wow, serendipitous. You can't write this stuff. Also, imagine if it was just one guy, and they thought, man, that guy's firing so many bullets. There must be multiple shooters. the police. the police. tha. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the fight thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. the fight thi. the fight the fight the fight the fight their th. thirty their thirty thirty police thirty police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police police. their their their their their their their their their their their their their the police. the police. the police. the police. the police. their the just one guy and they thought, man, that guy's firing so many bullets, there must be multiple shooters. No, I'm just really good at firing this gun.
Starting point is 00:36:50 It's got to be- Pull the trigger so fast, dude. A gang of guys, well, cops down there looking genuinely impressed. Well, we thought there was a posse. Yeah. Are you fanning the hammer on the hammer on tham hammer on the hammer on tham hammer on the hammer on that revolve? Oh boy. Three people who were fishing told police that they were about 20 to 30 feet south of the train trestle, you know the place, when they heard too many yelling and saw them throwing beer cans into the river. One of the people fishing heard one shot and looked up to see one ing beer cans into the river. One of the people fishing
Starting point is 00:37:25 heard one shot and looked up to see one of the men shoot into the river about 20 feet in front of one of the fishermen. Shoot some beer cans. Yeah. That's classic. If you don't want people to do that, don't put it in movies all the time, you know. Yeah. I am really torn because shooting some water with a gun, very cool. Loud noises, they're scary to me. And I don't like being scared. I'm going to keep it real with you. I'm not a fan.
Starting point is 00:37:53 Not trying to get scared. Unless I'm watching the bye-by man, you know? Oh yeah. That's screenwriting for the ages. It only gets scarier as you watch it more and more and get more and more kind of acquainted with the depths of his character. Like what's going on in the mind of the bye-bye man? You know?
Starting point is 00:38:13 Always trying to leave a party when he can't. But oh. By-oh. I just got a... Anyway, man, I'm being a bit too... saying to his girlfriend, we don't have to have to have to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too tooom and say to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too.... the the the the the th. the th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the the tho. the the the the. the the the the thooooooooooooooo-a. the the the the the. thoooooooooooananananananananan got to... Anyway, man, I'm being a bit too... Saying to his girlfriend, we don't have to go around and say bye-bye to every person at the party before we go. We can just go. You're the bye-bye man. You gotta say bye-bye.
Starting point is 00:38:34 I just want to say hello for once. Hello, hello, you know. Another, according to police affidav, said he heard the gunshots and saw two rounds go into the river about 20 feet in front of them. He saw the two men on the trestle continue to walk east across the river, stopping to fire another round. The witness told police that one of the men on the trestle yelled down to them, I discharged it safely, I didn't want to hurt the girl.
Starting point is 00:39:06 So, what I'm getting here, the picture that I'm getting here is that these guys are walking across like a raised railroad track above where some people are fishing off a thing and they're shooting over the heads of the people who are fishing. I'm not going to hurt you. Blah! Blam! A third person fishing told police that he heard someone say, go for it, before the first two shots were fired.
Starting point is 00:39:37 I would like to think that that was just one of the fishermen who was into it. You know? Yeah. Pop that bad boy off. Hey man, hey, yeah, really cool. That's really sick. Maybe even before they started, are you gonna fire that gun or what? I don't have all day man. responded to Water Street in the area of the railroad trestle with several officers crossing to the east side of the Kennebec after two men with a small caliber handgun were seen crossing the river via the railroad bridge.
Starting point is 00:40:17 They're going hobo style, these guys there, walking the rails. Yeah, you don't want homeless people to be armed? You don't like it. Wow. Wow. Wow. Both men were arrested and taken to the Kennebec County jail. What is the crime? What's the crime? Oh it turns out. It is on Tuesday Peter Gabriel Junior. Uh-oh. What? Uh-oh! What? You're in trouble, Peter Gabriel, Jr. 30 of Pleasant Point was charged with reckless conduct with a firearm. What, you can't have fun with it?
Starting point is 00:40:58 What's it for then? What's it for if not killing? If I can't have a little fun with it. Hmm, not seeing a, Peter Peter Gabriel Jr. attributed to recording artist Peter Gabriel. Oh, it's disappointing. Instead, that would be Isaac Ralph Gabriel. Hmm. look old enough to hold a gun. His son was born in 2001. That's too late. It's too late to be born. Yes, it's been Peter Gabriel's son corner. Yeah. Remember Peter Gabriel? I do remember Peter Gabriel?
Starting point is 00:41:34 Some cool bands. Yeah, I didn't have some bangers. Remember sledgehammer? Yeah. Sledgehammer. Honestly, I'll always go a good sledgehammer. Police say he was holding the gun at the time of his arrest. Busted. Busted, bro. That's your first problem. You've got to get rid of that gun. Yeah, or hide it behind your back.
Starting point is 00:41:59 Yeah, you could put it in your pocket or something or in your pussy. You know. Just tuck it, tuck it in your pussy. Austin Saucie, 28. Oh, what's he serving? What's he serving? Austin Saucie. Uh, 28 of West Enfield was charged with reckless conduct with a firearm, discharging a firearm near a dwelling, what, the ocean where the fish live?
Starting point is 00:42:31 The fish dwelling? I suppose it is their dwelling. And possession of a firearm by a prohibited person. Had a little trouble before maybe. Oh, firearms for me but not for thee. Mm-hmm. Nobody was struck by any of the shots that were fired. Police say.
Starting point is 00:42:54 So again, I ask you, what is the crime? What is it? Yeah. Have a little fun with it? Is this a crime to have a little fun with it now? Yeah. So make me a crim? Probably. Next is going to be illegal to fire your gun directly up in the air while hooting and hollering. Jumping around. Yeah. What next? The woke mind virus. A man can't simply hold
Starting point is 00:43:21 his two revolvers aloft barring them into the heavens. A guy can't point both his guns at the ground and fire them repeatedly until his feet raise up several feet from the surface of the earth. Next you'll be telling me when I'm angry, I can't throw my hat on the ground and shoot it with my gun. Can't shoot my TV to turn it off. Can't put a little thing in it that says bang when it comes out. They don't want you to. What you have fun anymore, folks?
Starting point is 00:43:53 Yeah. It's a work agenda. Ah, water and fish. Truly two of the beautiful wet treasures found in the kingdom of nature. And what else would we find in nature? That's right. Other kinds of animals. It's time for Nature Corner. This comes from KCNC in Boulder, Boltonister, Nation corner, rubber crab, Sipped my dear. This comes from KCNC in Boulder, Colorado, the Kusinich. Cows attack joggers in two separate incidents in Colorado.
Starting point is 00:44:53 Yes. I hope that this is like, you know the stories about the killer whales, like capsizing boats? Yep. Yeah. Yeah, I hope that that's, uh, it's just happening with all the killer whales like capsizing boats. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, I hope that it's just happening with all the animals now. Hope it catches on, yeah. Just cows knocking people over. PVP flags on. Track meets in our battlefields.
Starting point is 00:45:21 Track meets are our battlefields. Boulder, Colorado. Officials with Boulder County Parks and Open Space. What is a park if not open space? So true. They are sending out a warning. Probably some grass, I think. Bit of air. Are they covering all of the air? They are sending out a warning.
Starting point is 00:45:48 After two different joggers had frightening run-ins with cows in the past week while out on the trails, one was badly hurt. Oh no, did the cow recover? They both happened in Superior on the Meadowlike Trail. Cows headbutted and knocked over one jogger on the weekend. That's a funny animal to be attacked by. Like, I must suck, but it's comical. Yeah. I don't want it to happen to me, but I will laugh if it happens to you.
Starting point is 00:46:22 Skill issue. So that person wasn't seriously injured. Then earlier this week, several cows surrounded a second runner and she had to be taken to the hospital after getting hurt by the animals. Quote, it was a surprise, but we do know mother cows can get agitated, said Vivian Janatpur, Boulder County Parks and Open Space spokeswoman. Official say in both cases mothers were
Starting point is 00:46:52 protecting their young and that the rancher who leases the area was there long before the path was built. Parts of the trail are now closed. Okay it seems pretty cut and dry to me. Yep, stay out of their business. How about that? They were there first, and then someone got a big old map out and they drew a line in between a cow and daughter cow. Mm-hmm. We have some breaking news folks.
Starting point is 00:47:20 We have just received a story hot off the wire from listener Daniel. It's time for a little breaking news. This comes to us from insider. Too many kids in school are still wearing diapers, Swiss teachers complain. Oh no. No. Swiss educators are sounding the alarm. There are more and more children in schools who are still wearing diapers. Quote, kids are going to school as early as four years now, so yeah, you might find some stealing diapers.
Starting point is 00:48:01 Dagmar Rossler, head honcho of the Swiss Federation of Teachers told 20 Minutin' Who could say what it means? But it's not just about the age they start school. An increasing number of older students also depend on diapers and it's not for health-related reasons. Child development expert Rita Mespa once even had an 11-year-old patient who wasn't taught how to use the toilet on their own. Jesus!
Starting point is 00:48:31 That's... That's bad. Yeah. That's no good. Don't do that. The number of kids wearing diapers in schools has skyrocketed, she told, the Sontag-Zaitung. And they're not just doing it ironically? Yeah, is this like a bit that they get from like Logan Paul or something? Educational scientist Margaret Stam is familiar with the problem too.
Starting point is 00:48:58 Diapers have come a long way over the decades. Nowadays they can be worn quote like normal underwear, she told, uh, son tugs I think we need to start with an apology for the state of diaper tech, like skyrocketing. So kids get conditioned to diapers. She went on, some parents let it slide. It's turning into like borough out. Some parents let it slide. It's turning into like bore out, some parents let it slide. Because diapers are a convenient relief. It's not seen as a problem these days. I don't want to shit in a diaper. This is, what's going on? Yeah, I don't want to be like the guy that's like, kids these days are getting worse and worse, but I 't want to be like the guy that's like kids these days are getting worse and worse but I think there might be something wrong with our
Starting point is 00:49:52 society now. We kind of we kind of broke things a bit. You know, like I know a lot of teachers and they're like yeah year one or prep or what have you you know the first part of it now is just dedicated to getting anyone to sit the fuck down, just sit down for a second, like, because unfortunately, like, everyone's working two jobs now, and so everyone's going to give your kids a diaper. You've got to give kids a diaper and a device. That's right. They look at it. I live near a school. I, I, I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their to their their their their their their their their their their to to get to get their their their their their their their their to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tea. I tea. I tea. I tea. I tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. I tea. I tea. I tea. I tea. I their kids a diaper? You've got to give kids a diaper and a device. That's right. They look at it. I live near a school and I remember probably last year, day one of school, this kid just like, escaping the bounds of school.
Starting point is 00:50:40 He's out of there. He's running down the street. He's going, I want my fucking iPad. Are you serious? Are you serious? Oh my God. Oh, oh, like five. Oh, Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:50:55 I think we might have messed a few things up. Yeah, I think we might have taken it a little bit too, but. It don't think it's, it's not parents' fault probably because everyone's got too much on. Everyone's got too much on. There's too much shit. We destroyed society. Can we get a little less shit going on? Yeah, there's no one to care for our children anymore and now the children are turning up in their
Starting point is 00:51:26 in their shit pants all day and just saying fine no this is fine to me. I love the excuse is just like all diaper tech is better. Yeah. Okay and you can just strap up all day. You're good enough for astronauts good enough for my little Billy. Little Bonnetton. Yeah, he's got a note from his doctor that says he's allowed to play Roblox all day as well. We watched the Kira Knightley Pride and Prejudice adaptation last night. I love it. Because we were like, oh, it's got Tom from Succession.
Starting point is 00:52:02 It does. Uh, Mr. Damorsie. Damors seen that? Pry and prech? Yeah. Oh, it's a bit of pride, a bit of prejudice, you know? Yeah, pretty much sums it up. One of them's proud and one of them's prejudice. Yep.
Starting point is 00:52:16 She's like, I'm proud and he's like, you're a poor. Your family makes me sick, you are disgusting. Will you get married to me? Will you kiss me? But yeah, we were sort of talking about how like how everybody goes ape shit when like somebody new moves into the locality because there's nothing going on. Yeah, there's like 12 people. Yeah, no one's, everybody's just like, well the main things we can do are read the book. We pass the book around, we practice the piano and we speculate on a neighbor that might be moving in in three months, you know? There's a scene where they're watching a parade of soldiers coming in and I was like, yeah, you'd be going to Abe shit. Look at all that stuff moving. Look at all those people
Starting point is 00:52:58 moving past you. Just related to the diaper? She has a sheer volume of stimulus. The theory of saying there's too much stuff going. I'm saying, let's return to pride and prejudice days. Three books per household, zero iPads. Yeah. Yeah, I'm becoming trad. Kids have too much shit. They do have like way too much stuff. And the stuff they've got's really good as well.
Starting point is 00:53:23 It is. Me and Patter would the the they were to to to the kids to to to to to the kids the kids to the kids the kids to the kids the kids the kids they were the kids the kids the kids the kids their their tho tho tho tho tho tho tho they've got's really good as well. It is. Me and Pat were telling the kids this the other day, his kids. It's like, we didn't have any of this shoe. We had to make our own fun. Yeah. We used to pick up the biggest sticks in the yard and then run at each other with the sticks. That's right. And then we had to wait six months till your birthday.
Starting point is 00:53:47 That's right. You know, couldn't just download a new game over the air. Magically over the air, you know? So apparently, kids are getting conditioned to diapers in Sweden. She went on, some parents don't slide, because diapers are a convenient relief. Apparently there are parents who put their kids in diapers for outings, or because they want to sleep in a little longer in the morning. All right, I can't respect that one.
Starting point is 00:54:15 Yeah, I don't want to get up. That sends a totally wrong message, says Stam. The ones suffering... Fuck you come down my children, then. I'm sleepy. Federation head, Dagmar Rosler told 20 minutes them. Parents have a responsibility to make sure their school-aged kids aren't wearing diapers anymore. When 11-year-olds come to school in diapers, that's a worrying trend.
Starting point is 00:54:40 It sure is. Teachers aren't there to change their student's diapers. That's crossing a line. Hmm. Hmm. I'm not there, so. That's cool. Who's gonna do it? Clearly you.
Starting point is 00:54:55 Tie his shoes. Change his diaper. Charge his iPad, send him home. If my kid doesn't have a sparkling clean dry nappy when he gets home from high school, you're going to be hearing from me. I don't even think of that. Yeah, who's going to change his fucking nappy at school? Does he do it himself? No, he may get the teachers do it.
Starting point is 00:55:19 That's fucked up. Hey, help me out. When you call him one of the kids to a math problem and he goes two plus... Yeah. Just gets that thousand or a thousand miles to. I remember like, I remember, yeah, like the ages with our kids where they were either like stopping breastfeeding or getting out of nappies and like... think we we always sort of said with the breastfeeding thing and obviously lots of different people are gonna have very different
Starting point is 00:55:53 views about this but I think I've known quite a few people who had the attitude of like if if you are old enough to be asking for it it's too old to have it anymore. Yeah. Oh, mother may I? Yeah. Talking about this the other night, I'm sorry, I can't, I can't with that one. Yeah, yeah. That was it for us when, when the kids were like hassling Eleanor about it.
Starting point is 00:56:17 She was breastfeeding, their today. She was breastfeeding. Finn had to be cut off because it was just like ruining his life. It was like a cocaine addict. Yeah, yeah, they come up. Let me add it. Let me add it. They're doing the grabby hands. There's so much more the life than this. I mean it's pretty good but there's more. It's pretty good for life. And the same with nappies, it's like you don't want to be having a conversation with someone while you scypahahah of their pants yeah you know yeah and he does the June thing where his eyes flick back at his head just screaming like a toddler and kicking you oh god
Starting point is 00:56:56 damn I'm so happy I'm so happy not changing naies, it rocks so much. We shouldn't have destroyed the village, just personally, I think, just as a personal opinion, being like, hey, having people to like help out each other and stuff. That would rock. That would rule if we had a sort of like a kernel of society left any more instead of... We've got Blippy. Yeah, we've got Blippy. Yeah, and there's a video where you can see Blipty. of society left anymore instead of... We've got Blippy. Yeah we've got Blippy.
Starting point is 00:57:25 Yeah and there's a video where you can where you can see Blippy is very educationally teaches you how to shit as well if you are. That's right. You can show your children. Having some issues. Yeah. Don't show you the children the blippy shitting video. Try it. I haven't seen it. Anyway, t Try to avoid it if you can. And you really should be trying to avoid it, you know. Yeah. The blippy shit. Blipy blasting turds.
Starting point is 00:57:55 Oh boy. Hey, we did get another piece of listener correspondence this week. We had an episode a while ago that apparently nobody from the show can remember. Yeah, we memory hold it. But we had a story about the preparation for the Micheliners' All You Can Eat Spaghetti Dinner, which which was, now what I can't remember specifically was whether or not the, whether or not you were supposed to eat all the spaghetti before or after the marathon. I would be eating it at the end, just personally. Oh right, I do remember talking about that.
Starting point is 00:58:41 I remember saying you shouldn't eat your spaghetti dinner before you run. Good. I'm glad we're, glad we're all on the same page here. So a listener of ours, Brandon attended the all you can eat spaghetti dinner in in Minnesota, right? And so he sent us in a little field report from the venue. And we're going to check it out now. Here we go. This is Brandon, Andrew, A.C., the small one. This is Brandon. I'm reporting to you live from the Superior Ballroom at the Belief Entertainment Center for the Brandnos Marathon. You can eat Entertainment Convention for the Grandmo's Marathon,
Starting point is 00:59:25 all you can eat spaghetti dinner, present to Benacolinas. It has been probably here. It is loud in here. It is packed with literally thousands of people, I believe. I just got done with my spaghetti and meatballs, and it was okay. It was pretty okay. I would not pay $16 again for it but all the proceeds go to the marathon so I suppose it's a good prize. Yeah, so that's that. I won't be here next year but I hope this is worth it. Cheers. It's an ominous end to that as well. Well, I won't be here next year. I heard about this is worth it. Cheers. It's an ominous end to that as well. Well, I won't be here next year.
Starting point is 01:00:08 I heard about this on a podcast and I went there and it was not good. Did he say $16? Man, food is so cheap. I know it's garbage. I know it's just like their cooking spaghetti in one of those big pots that they used to cook people in, stirring it with an enormous spoon. 16 bucks is not a lot. There was a picture of this in the Discord and it was like some drier spaghetti and a few meatballs and they didn't
Starting point is 01:00:35 cook the spaghetti in the meatball sauce. It was just dumped on top. I think that's a logistic, yeah they've so very dry looking yellow noodles there, and a extremely demure looking lady ladling on some orange sauce on that. And some bread rolls. Yeah. It's really, um, I don't know if, when's the last time either of you went to a buffet? See, I know, yes, but they're good ones, they're great buffets. Okay.
Starting point is 01:01:10 Kail and I were literally talking about this yesterday and I've, I've long said that I don't get my money from a buffet. I'm only a little guy. Yep. I don't, I can't do like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I can't, I, I, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their th. Yeah, they. Yeah, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're good, they're good, they're they're they're their good, they're their their their the thing, you think you're going to get your money's worth, but you're only got a little belly. My tummy's my tummy hurts. It's full. And I haven't even gotten to the little marshmallow pile yet, you know. So I don't do that. I tend to, I tend to just go, I'm an alacarque guy. Yeah. I always have been, always have been, always will be. Because there's there's there's there's there's there's a there's a there's a there's a there's a big, there's a big, there's a big, there's a big, there's a big, there's a big, there's a big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, th. th. the the the th. th th th th th th. th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, their, thi. thi. thi. ti. I's tou. I'll, tou. tom. I'll, tou. tom. tom. to. tou. ttto. I'll, tttt buffet in a city at a like, it's like a labor club or something. The star buffet and it's like, it's like a whole little town, you know, they've got, they've got all the different stuff, they've got roasts, they've got pizza, they've got pasta, they've got the Chinese food, they've got all kinds of things,
Starting point is 01:02:03 they've got a kinds of things. They've got a whole dessert buffet and ice cream machine, a chocolate fountain. Fountain, you can dip stuff into baked goods, all these things. But I think unfortunately I've hit a point in my life, metabolism wise, where I'm sitting down with a plate of food and then I eat the plate of food and my body says, that's enough food for you. Yeah, and then you try to push through it and it and it's a it's a it's a it's a it's a th.. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their their. their their their their their their their tho. thea. thea. to to. to to to to to to thea. thea. thea. thea.the plate of food and my body says that's enough food for you. Yeah, and then you try to push through it and it's a mistake. It's not, it's not happening at all. You gotta be, you gotta be a seconds guy if you're going to a buffet, right? And I know I'm not a, I'm not a going can't sit. I don't want to force it. I don't force it, you know?
Starting point is 01:02:46 I can't do it. I can't do it. Anyway, I guess what we're trying to say is go there and get yourself a lot of spaghetti. Yeah, wrapping spaghetti. Get some not very good spaghetti. 16 bucks fill your boots. The problem is like I reckon if you put your heart and soul into it you could do good bulk spaghetti right? Like yeah very hilarious. Yeah easy. You know like it's an eminently like slow cookable sauce.
Starting point is 01:03:19 Get that going. I'm not really a meat bowl. I think a meatball is a poor. It's a poor pairing. It's a poor pairing. You prefer like a meat sauce. Yeah. You prefer like a meat s sauce. Yeah. I don't. I the the to to the to to to to to the to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. to to th. th. th. th. th. th. to to th. to to to to to to to to to the to to to to the the the the the the th. th. the th. to th. to th. th. to th. the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho. tho. tho. tho. to to to tho. to to the to the the the tho. to the to to tho. to to to to tho. to to to the that going. I'm not really a meatball. Like, I think a meatball is a poor. It's a poor pairing. You prefer like a meat sauce? Yeah, I don't have to cut up my meatball to have with my spaghetti. Americans love a meatball. They do. And it's a bad dish, right? Because it's wet on the outside, and it has to be dry on the inside. can't cook a meatball. Really bad deal. Yeah. You can, you can. You can cook a tendon
Starting point is 01:03:45 meatball. The secret is to soak your breadcrumbs in milk before you put them through the meat. You know, I'm talking. Anyway, no, no, I'm a raggoo boy. You make as much or as little as you want. In fact, I might make a little Bolognaise today. Now, slow cook that thing. Yeah, con. C. I. I thue. I thue. thue. thue. thue. thue. thue. thue. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. th. th. th. to to to to th. the the tend. tend. to cook. to cook. to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. tha. tha. tha. tend. tend. tend. tend. tend. tend. tend. tend. tend. tend. tend. tend. tend. tend. today. today. today. today. today. Now, slow cook that thing. Yeah, con, I don't have any pork mints. I like a good 50-50 beef and pork. But pro, everything else. Yeah. Throw some, throw a little bit of spices in there for your full palate. Yeah, little salt, little pepper. Yeah, if you want more or less. Get yourself, uh, get yourself, you know, a 500 gram packet of spaghetti. Yeah. So you're easily feeding, I don't know, five, six people.
Starting point is 01:04:32 I don't know, who could say, I don't know how to, I still don't know how to portion that. Yeah. You measure out 100 grams of spaghetti, and then you go, oh, this is too much spaghetti. Yep. That doesn't look like enough spaghetti. Yeah. Or in my case, what I do is I say, I say, oh, there's, you know, I don't want to cook the whole thing of spaghetti
Starting point is 01:04:55 because that's always way too much spaghetti. So I'll put in less spaghetti. though. thii. that's that's of spaghetti left in the bag. Yeah, I wish I had more spaghetti. Might as well pop that in the pot and then I go, oh, it's too much spaghetti. Yeah, 500 grams is the wrong amount to put in a spaghetti packet. I think this is probably... I think I could probably cut this one off.
Starting point is 01:05:15 Folks, if you have any ideas about the perfect amount of spaghetti for them to the the thethen sell to you right into mailbag at Buonto Vista.com. If you don't have any opinions about that at all, you can simply sit back, close your eyes and let a contented smile play out across your face. You can always shut up. Yep. It's legal. four and under and you're eating free at Grandma's Marathon spaghetti dinner. So get enough kids. Get enough kids and that meal's paying for itself. Pick up some spaghetti, drop off a diaper. You know how cheap it is to have a whole bunch of kids. Well that's it for us folks. Thank you for for a singular episode of the Buntavista podcast. And we will see you later.
Starting point is 01:06:09 Bye bye. you to be the tree

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