Boonta Vista - EPISODE 323: The Minecraft Batman Caviar Murders

Episode Date: November 27, 2023

Lucy, Theo, and Andrew bring you: The inauthentic caviar flooding our streets, a Dutch man documenting bat penises for the sheer joy of it, a backyard haul of trinkets and tortoises, a freak gun gesturing accident, and how to question a cop. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to B to this episode 328? I'm Andrew and it's been another long day here. It's a hundred and twenty-eight? 28? It's a three-minute lunch break. I'm Andrew and it's been another long day here at the counter of Earth's complaints department. It's 1 p.m. and I just got back from my 30-minute lunch break and there's a line that makes customs at Sydney International Airport look like the line at Regal Charcoal Chicken at 11 a.m. on a Tuesday.

I get that. I must go on. Opening my window back up, I call the next customer. Holding ticket number 200,671, her hair and face flecked with house paint. A woman named Lucy approaches the counter out out out out out out out out. the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. That. That. That. That. That. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. I'm. A woman named Lucy approaches the counter. Hello, madam, what's grinding your gears today? Just generally, this is just the general complaints desk. Yeah, it doesn't have to be, it's for the whole planet. It really, you don't have to... The price of groceries. Yeah?

Yeah. Through the roof, huh? It's bloody. I paid $9 for a pack of ravioli today. And I think that's fucked up. Yeah. I just saw a post on Reddit. I was scrolling in the toilet during my 30-minute lunch break. I just saw a post on Reddit. Somebody who works at Coles had posted a photo of a computer screen in the office where it was it was an email about the staff Christmas gifts the Coles were giving to their frontline staff to reward them for all the

hard work and all the abuses that they take all year long and they were rewarding everybody with a Coles branded water bottle. Fucking hell that's like even worse than nothing because now I've got to be responsible for this thing that I don't fucking want to use right like plastic now. No you can throw it in the landfill. And and they said it's a personalized Coles branded water bottle because it has a little white panel on it that you can write your own name on. Oh, like a child, like you would to your child at school. Yeah, okay. The poster said, yes, this is despite Coles posting record profits as they do every year.

They were also giving people five my thanks points. I hate this. Which is apparently equivalent. One of the things is going to drive me to a... AZO, do not listen. So please wait your turn in the line. And so you get five my thanks points I think that were called which the person said was equivalent to five dollars that you can only spend at Coles.

And it said in the email like, and if there isn't something that you want with that amount, you can keep them for something you're saving up for. At Coles. Yep. Yeah. And they said, this kick in the face comes after months of enforcing staff bag checks and locker inspections, despite the sheer number of customers who walk out with trolley's full of stock each and every day with fuck all down about it. And they're right to do it.

So they are. Apparently their solution to this problem is to search all of their employees every day. The one that gets me is for a to, um. Um, um for a for a to, um for a to, um for a to for a to for a to for a to to to to to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a th. th. their th. th. th. their th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th solution to this problem is to search all of their employees every day. The one that gets me is, for a while, our backup, the runner-up telecommunications provider in Australia, Optus, has been running this thing where it's like, give some back, give some of your data back to donate your data. What do you mean? Yeah, what do you mean? It's made up? It's made up. It's not real. You made the thing up. You can give it away. You can just give phones to pour people off this. You could just skip the whole whole thing. And what do you mean? Give data? We know it's all made up. The only thing that matters is like peak throughput. Like what the... Anyway, sorry, Lucy, it's your turn at the... Oh yeah, price of ravioli. Price of ravioli. Price of ravioli. But we're all making more money though, that's the thing. Yeah, totally. It's not worth as much though, the money.

And did you know in the 1980, like the interest rate the boomers had to put up with? Yeah. On their like 7,000 dollar house? I've been shoplifting a bit lately. It sounds like it's getting more and more normal. We're going back. Yeah, I feel like people who would never have shoplifted previously are getting on board. I have 1,000 percent had conversations with people confirming this. Yeah, me too. People that would never have done something like that before.

It's like, well, something for me. I guess I might as well call up tickets 200,672. A man named Theo approaches the counter, visibly, th and j and j and j and thi and thiii and to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi, thi, thi, thi. I thi, thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I feel thioli. I feel thiologeeea. I feel thea. I feel theologea. I feel thi. I feel thi. I feel thi. I feel thi. call up tickets 200,672. A man named Theo approaches the counter, visibly agitated and jumpy and clutching a handful of receipts from J.B. Hi-Fi. Hey. So, what's grinding your gears today? Oh my goodness, what isn't grinding my gears at the moment? I... Well, I tried to buy a PlayStation 5 the other day. So by way of, okay, so this is parenting shit. We had to have an excuse to take Finn in the car because he's go on psycho mode and we want

him to go sleepy mode. So like, all right, we're going to go and get you some diamond on from the, uh, from chemist's warehouse warehouse pharmacy of the of the of the yeah sure I see of the show yeah so we drive chip chip warehouse get there and like hey have you got any diamond on yeah you want the two to 12 years absolutely yeah you've got piles of it only in strawberry though so I knelt down I got I got on Finn's level. I said, hey buddy. They've got it, but it's only strawberry flavor. Is that okay? And he said, no. Yeah. So thank you very much. You're going to want to put that back on the shelf. We've got a, uh,

a no from the only stakeholder present. And then I wandered over to J.B. High 5, which is next to there, and I said, can I please have a PlayStation 5 with the Spider-Man 2 bundle, $120 off please, as advertised on your front door and they said, no. Oh. We are out of that, but if you go to Westfield Mount Gravatt, you can have one. They've got 64 of them there. So I drive there. Car park is absolutely packed.

It's still November, mind you. We're not even in the Christmas peak yet. And I get in there and it's there's just an absolute throng of people. And I make Friday. Yeah, Yuck Friday, as I call it. And I just felt bad. I just felt like deeply bad in my soul. And I immediately went, you know what? I don't need a PlayStation 5. I don't. I don't need a PlayStation 5. I don't. I don't need. I, I, I, I, I, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the C. the C. the C. the C. the C. the C. the C. the C. the C. the C. the C. the C. the C. the C. the C. the C. the C. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. the and the, and I just felt bad. I just felt like deeply bad in my soul. And I immediately went, you know what? I don't need a PlayStation 5. I don't need to be buying this stuff. I'm not this badly. I don't, not this badly. I don't need this ache in my soul.

I did buy a big screen because we needed a new screen because Caitlin has a job and she's going to work from home, which is lovely. So we need another screen. But I came with tons of styrofoam. I got the Stanley knife out, chopped the styrofoam in half, break it up to put in the thing. And as I'm doing that, there's little flex of polystyrene, and they're just blowing away and they're just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just going in the yard. And that's just going to be there. They're stuck to your hand.

They're all sticky. They're just going to be there now. They belong to nature for the next one million years. I should have made napalm instead. Azo, do not listen. Is this your gripe styrofoam? Yeah. Well, it's one of them.

Because they're packing it in, like, you get a screen, you're getting like one kilogram of polystyrene. Yeah, you're right. And you may as well just like, swerly we've figured out something better by now. Yeah, you'd think. What about just some rolled up newspaper? Roled up newspaper. Sometimes they... Yesterdays, you don't need to read it. That's not news anymore.

They stamp like the recyclable thing on the big chunks of styrofoam and I do not believe them. I think that's a lot of. Yeah. Some of it claims to be in the same way that theoretically we can recycle soft plastics, but it doesn't mean we'll their way that theoretically we can recycle soft plastics but it doesn't mean we're doing it. All right. Some of those little beans are like they dissolve right? I think they've got dissolvable ones now. Yeah I don't always use them. That's how they make Mountain Dew code red. That's right. That's delicious though. Wouldn't wouldn't know none of my business. Oh never task. task. the today. the the the th th of th of the th. th of the th. th. th. thoe tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' the the. theateateateateateateateateateateat th. thoes theat theateateat. tho- tho- tho- their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho- tho- tho- tho-in the tho-in the the the the. the. the. the. the. theateateateateateateateateateateatease tease to-s to-s. thas. tasting Mountain Dew Code Red?

That's a crime. It must be time. Is it? No. Look, I'm going to be really honest with you. Of the things I think, all right, making Mountain Doe Code Red and selling it to children, that's a crime. Is that better?

It should be. Okay. Uh, also Mr. Beast should be a crime. What's Mr. Beast, you're going to jail? Yeah. Crime watch. Please put down your weapon. You're a direct violation. You're a tel to put 1 1369. You're not have five seconds to climb. Help me! 1369. You now have five seconds to try. Help me! Hey!

Help me! I'm not Great! HENBREEN! HENTT! This comes to us from Cell Press. Half of tested caviar products from Europe are illegal, and some aren't even caviar. I don't want to know what it is at that point. I don't want to know what it is at that point. As a crossover, are the illegal ones also not caviar?

One of our kids had beef with us the other day because we got we got barn me from this barn me place while we're out and and like I just got them as they as they come you know no chili on hers and she was like what's this brown stuff on the bottom? A little pate? I was like... Pate? And she's like, yeah, it's a bitty? Yeah, it's a bade. And the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th the the the the the the the thee. the thee. thee. thee. the the thee. the the the the ththis brown stuff on the bottom? A little pate? A little pate for you? I was like, yeah, it'll be a pete. And she's like, what's that?

And I said, hmm, don't worry about it. That's best not to think. It's meat spread. to say, don't worry about it. And she was like, oh, okay. And she was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. worry about it. It's fine. It's definitely not liver. And we ate our lunch and on the way home in the car I said, by the way, I have some news for you about your bun meat. Pateau's made out of liver.

Yeah. And she was like, how could you do this to me? How could you do this to me? I said I didn't want to eat liver to eat live live live live live live live live live to eat to eat to me? How could you do this to me? I said I didn't want to eat liver and then you lied to me and I said in my defense I had already paid for the barn me. I was going to say I'd be on her side if you hadn't already purchased the barn me in which case I'm not. You want me you want me to return this? I'm not throwing out a and in this day and age be a bloody $18. the b b a b. the the $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $18. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I'd th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to theeeeeeeeeeeeeee. to to to to to thee. the. the. th bloody $18 barn me, you know, next week. A bar me doesn't cost eight bucks anymore. A thousand dollars.

Cost $10.80. Yeah, so I think she scored that one away as like a deep betrayal. So that's pretty cool. That's cool. It's nice to have a little bank of resentment. That one's hidden the therapist later. Yeah. Something that. The first time I remember being lied to. Wild caviar, a pricey delicacy made from sturgeon eggs,

has been illegal for decades since poaching bought the fish to the brink of extinction. Today, legal, internationally tradable caviar can only come from farmed sturgeon and there are strict regulations in place to help protect the species. However, by conducting genetic and isotope analyses on caviar samples from Bulgaria, Romania, Serbia and Ukraine, nations bordering the remaining wild sturgeon populations, a team of sturgeon experts found evidence that these regulations are actively being broken. It's fucked out what they're doing. Yeah,

squeezing those eggs out? They're little sturgeon pusies. Milking those, milking it sturgeon. Huh? All attempting to figure out how a caviar gets out of the fish at the same time. They squeeze them out. It's messed up again. It's?. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah??. Yeah? the the, they? the they? they? they? they? they? It's they? It's they? It's they? It's they they they they the regulations. It's they they they th th th th th th th th th th th th thi the the the th th th th thes thes thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th are are are are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th are th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the thea thea thea thea''a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a' theati thea thea gets out of the fish at the same time. They squeeze them out. It's messed up like, yeah, they give them a little bop on the head and then they squeeze the, squeeze the exit. Do they come back around or they kill them? Well, I mean, I figure if it's the, if they're doing like this black market, then it's a bit of meat thrown in for the deal, right?

Yeah. You toss that aside into the big vat and then they turn it into those jars of British fish paste that they sell in the specialty section of the supermarket. That's the, can I just, can I put England on blast for a second? Mm-hmm. We're slowly getting more and more like, like, in the the that. Yeah. Yeah, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, can I just, can I put England on blast for a second? We're slowly getting more and more like interesting foods in in our Australian supermarket duopoly. The aforementioned coals also on blast. And Woolworths, you're on blast too. And they've got like the sort of international foods aisle, you know. Yeah, one one aisle for foods that come from. You got Mexican, England, and then maybe like a Dutch one. India as well. They got India. Yeah. I'm sure it kind of varies, you know, relative to the demographics of the area you're in. For me it does. For me it's like we've got

Mexican food, Chinese stuff, or like, you know, broadly Asian category. They throw like some Korean chips in with all the Chinese sources, all that kind of thing. And then there is like the little, the little England section. And I'm going to say it's the worst section of the super the worst. I do purchase Jaffa cakes from the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the supermarket. Absolutely the worst, yeah. I do purchase Jaffa cakes from there. Why? Just a little treat for me. It's just a little treat. There's a place on... Are they like orange-flavor? Yeah, they're little chocolate-al-orange biscuits. There's a place that down towards the Gold Coast called Sids pies and they do fantastic pies, but it is a British shop and they have all the British imported delicacies. It's just a big old fucked up section, fucked up food, all blended fish and stuff, wet potato. Yep. Meat paste. They do love meat paste. Brits love a little petto. Yeah. Let's have a

little look on the on the Woolworth's website. They do have the the sub category of international foods. UK foods. Dr. Pepper, I'm gonna go ahead and dispute that right out of that. Is it British? No. They've got fucking cherry coke on there too. Okay. Get out of here. Ah, you can get yourself a can of chip shop style mushy peas. Yeah, Mr. Tateau chips. Bachelor's brand, which sounds about right. Yeah, that sounds like a joke. You can get yourself a tea, you can get our mate delicious yeast extract. Yeah, I mean, look, we can't talk. We're doing it right over again. We're doing it right over again. But ours is the good one though.

The others are disgusting. Apparently Dr. Pepper is from Waco, Texas. RIP to them. Wow. The whole place. Sorry about the what the ADF did to or whatever, I don't know. We can get, you know all they're fucked up chocolates. You can get a double decker. You can get a whisper. I don't like the look of these. Like they got they are kinds of candies where I think I think we've we've generally got candies or they come from other places where like you get the concept buying the candy, right? A bright crawler gummy worm, you know?

They put little eyes on it on the package, worm, and it's a worm-shaped candy, right? Yep. Gummy bears. We all get what's happening there. Here's a picture. I'm just putting this in here. Can you describe the thing I'm showing to you, Lucy? This is-

Describe the object? Well, so, so this is a bag of swizzles, drumstick squashes. What the fuck is that supposed to be? They're just a rectangle that's white and pink. White on one side pink on the other like a domino shape. Yeah, like a pencil eraser. But but like they're kind of flat? It's giving a bad vibe for me. What does the word drumstick have to do with anything here? And Squashies is like an eagle-girl from 2009 word for sex. Yeah, I think so.

Probably, I could say. Do they sell non-squashed ones? They do. Someone writing an extremely angry email defending drumstickes right now. And the act of Squashies as well. Me and my wife met. We met at a Squashies as well. Me and my wife met. We met at a Squashies Meetup.

No, okay, look, they've got the drumstick. They gotta fucking get it together. They've got a drumstick, so in its unsquashed form, and that appears to be, hey, you know a lollipop. You're familiar with a lollipop right Lucy. Yeah, I know a lollipop. You get big ones you put on your sailor outfit. Yep, you're looking you say Papa, Papa. Want a pony. Go on down to the industrial zone. They have a raspberry and milk flavor chewy lolly. Those two taste sensations. Raspberry and milk. Yeah, yeah, the the the one one. I I I I I I I I I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I the the the one. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the lolly those two taste sensations raspberry and milk yeah yeah yeah no I'm yeah but it's like it's a it's a brick shape and it's got a paper wrapper on it and it's got a stick stuck into it what? They get their forms negative aura on this thing their forms are all mixed up feel free if you're driving the car right now just to get your phone to the their try the their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try try trys their their their their their their their. Negative aura on this thing.

Their forms are all mixed up. Feel free. If you're driving the car right now, just get your phone out of the pocket, keep it below the window line so you don't get trouble. Yeah. And look up a swizzles drumstick, yeah. And say to yourself, I'll go buy a bag. You say what? Steal a bag of swizzles drum drumstick Squashies from your local Woolworths. That is your crime pass. Ooh, we haven't done a crime pass in so long.

You can shop lift. Squashies. And of course they have the most British flavor of all on the Swizzle's website. Rubb and custard flavor. Hey, hey. I'm not saying that- What's the problem? Putting rubarb on blast real quick.

Nah, rhubarb, rubarb and custard drumstick squashy? Little far, you're going a little far. Anyway, those are fake foods as far as I'm concerned. Yep. The results of the tests by these genetic and isotope analyses on caviar samples, published on November 20th in the journal Current Biology, show that half of the commercial caviar products they sampled are illegal and some don't even contain any trace of sturgeon.

They're just a different fish's eggs. What if you paid like $500 and it wasn't even from the right fish's pussy? Yeah. Excuse me sir. It's from the wrong pussy. Lucy, did you know a Jaffa is a type of orange? I didn't know that. I didn't know that. I didn't know that, Andrew. That is fascinating. Just found that out, just that minute. I was like, what the fuck do they call them Jaffa cakes and Jaff's the shit anyway? I assumed it was a slur. Yeah, just the really old-timey one. It probably is, to be fair. And whatever, you know, they'll find they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll they'll to find, to find, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be that, that, to be to be that, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that, that, that, that, that, they'll find someone to use it on. Do you think it's illegal because

you're not supposed to be selling caviar or it's illegal to get it out of another fish and then call it caviar? And then yeah, and get a bunch of money for it. I've never had cavia. Can't be that good. I think it's fine to lie about where the eggs came from to be perfectly honest. If you don't know, if you're the the the the the never going to buy, you know, Clav Kalash brand caviar ever again. If you can't tell, it's fine, it's probably fine. Maybe it's like really little fishy boba. Yeah. It is. What is caviar, if not really little fishy boba. If not boba persisting. Quote, the conservation status of the Danube sturgeon populations renders each individual important for their survival, and the observed intensity of poaching undermines any conservation effort, write the researchers, led by Arn Ludwig of the Leibniz Institute for Zoo and

Wildlife Research. In Europe there are four remaining sturgeon species, including Beluga, Russian, Stelate and Stirlet, that are capable of producing caviar. The last remaining wild populations of these species in the European Union can be found in the Danube River and the Black Sea. Each species has been protected since 1998 under CITES, the Conventionube River, the Black Sea. Each species has been protected since 1998, under CITES, the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Flora and Flora.

Unfortunately, I'm on the CITES diet, so... Police are after me. That's the one thing they don't want you eating. No, it's in the name. In 2000, their sites listing was accompanied by a strict international labelling system for all caviar products designed to stop illegal trade. That's usually the thing that stops illegal trade is a series of strict labels. Yeah, a big sticker on there. You can't fake that. Uh-uh. Yeah, uh-uh. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. You wouldn't. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the th. It's it's the the the the the the the the the the the the th it's th it's the th it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi the thi th i's th i illegal trade is a series of strict labels. Yeah, big sticker on there. You can't fake that. Uh-uh.

You wouldn't download illegal caviar, etc. No enriched uranium allowed through this port. Yeah. Fuck! I'm sorry, sir. Yes, sir. I feel like if you wanted to just eliminate like, you know, one strata of society and I'm not saying that we should. But just say you're in the business of doing it.

Uh-huh. Yeah, maybe tainted caviar might be a place to start. You're saying we taint the caviar on purpose? Not we. I mean, like if some hypothetical person, hypothetically wanted to, you know, maybe eliminate like, you know, like a thousand billionaires all at the same th......... th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to just, to, to, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to just, to, to, to, to, to, to, to just, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to just, thi.... And, the thi. And, the the the the thi. We. the the thi. to just, to the to to the the to to the the to the too.a.a.a.a. to to just, just, just, to, just, just, to to, you know, maybe eliminate like, you know, like a thousand billionaires all the same time, like just maybe just like just cleaning shop. We've got to get rid of these unscrupulous caviar consumers. I'm saying sort of like a Batman style figure but for like, you know, destroying the earth or whatever. Yeah, hypothetically yeah in Minecraft, in Fortnite.

In Fortcraft. In Fortcraft. Despite these protections, it was widely known from local anecdotal accounts that illegal poaching is still happening. They can't do that. It's illegal. Even though no formal investigations have been conducted, so we're just taking some... poaching is still happening. They can't do that. It's illegal. Even though no formal investigations have been conducted, so we're just taking some Knarks word for it. Yeah.

Yeah, I've seen this going down off a fish. Everybody knows. Yeah, everyone's having a good time eating their caviar, cut price. These fucking nerds come in with their little probes or whatever. One guy's got to ruin it. Labels. Yeah, pocket square. Checking angles on it.

Those guys would be such dorks. These sites guys, you know, you know the type. Did you know you're eating the wrong eggs? I didn't even care. I didn't care about it. Yeah. To find out the true source of the commercially sold caviar products being produced in native sturgeon regions, the researchers bought caviar both online and in person from a wide variety of sources, including local markets, shops, restaurants, bars, and aquaculture facilities. What kind of costumes do you think they were wearing

while they went undercover to buy this caviar? Oh that'd be great. Just dressing up as a rich guy. But in a really silly way. Smoking jacket, top hat. Top hat. Part of you. Cigarette in one of the long holders like the penguin? Oh shit, we do we need to bring that back. Bring that back. Yeah. Big big joint in the end of it. We need we need teens to get Audrey hip burning. That's right. No, you can smoke cigarettes again but only. Yeah. If you keep it far enough away from your face, it's actually not that bad. All the bad stuff stays over there. Keeps the cancerous chemicals away. The taste comes back to you. These also included five samples that have been seized by authorities.

That's... Too rude for restaurants. I'm picturing the, uh,, the cops putting out the five cans of caviar. Yeah, like a little... $20,000 off our streets today. Yeah, a little fan of tiny spoons. This could fetch up to $3 million on the street. I got sniffer dogs in the Concord terminal. In total they collected and analyzed 149 samples of caviar and sturgeon meat. After analyzing each sample's DNA and isotope patterns, which just means...

Ooh, yummy. That's definitely sturgeon. The team found that 21% of the samples came from wild-court sturgeons, and that these wild-court fish were sold in all of the countries studied. They also found that 29% of the samples violated sites, regulations, and trade laws, which included caviar that listed the wrong species of sturgeon or the wrong country of origin and categorized another 32% of samples as quote customer deception such as samples declared as wild products that actually originated from aquaculture. This is really like a labeling concern to them.

It's, I'm just going to say it, it seems a little pedantic. You know? Yeah, like obviously we shouldn't be having a to them. It's, I'm just gonna say it, it seems a little pedantic. You know? Yeah, like obviously we shouldn't be having caviar at all. It's stupid. And you don't need to keep all the fish in little fish jails, or pull them out of the ocean and pop them on the head to, because we can do without it. Society's moved beyond the need for caviar.

But their problem is like, no, it's saying the wrong thing. Hey, this was actually not wild caught. We got a wrong egg situation. Yeah, this is from a different fish's pussy. Yeah. And I paid too much for it. Or too little. You didn't pay enough for your caviar. Three of the samples served in Romania in a dish called Sturgeon Soup.

Weren't sturgeon at all. Instead, the researchers identified the fish as European catfish and Nile perch. Hell yeah! Just the dirtiest fish. We're just scraping up the drinks to feed you. That's great. I love it. I hope that paid a lot. God, guys, just real quick,

Google European catfish. Just have a look, a quick look at the European I know what a cat. Oh my god. That's a... Oh my goodness. It startled me. One of them would keep you selling sturgeon soup for a while. That's the fucking, that's the fish that swallows you in half-life.

You can sell so much sturgeon soup with that bad boy. Yeah. There's like a lot of... That's so big, I wonder if it could swallow me whole. I think it could actually. That is the size of a man. Yeah, that's how I would describe that bitch. Yeah.

I'd say larger. There's these people are talking about nine kilo, sorry, nine foot long European ones. Then we've got this 234 pound nine foot well's catfish and that's a 106 kilos. I gotta say this though, they're kind of gross looking. Yeah, it's a, it's a, God's mistakes sort of deal. Every moment I live is agony. Whereas if you look at a sturgeon, to have some little fish.

Here we go, one and a half meter, Wells catfish choked on American red-eared, slide a turtle in. Oh my god. Don't need a turtle. Well, he didn't. He got... He tried, though. These fish are just too big. Fish too big.

Put them back. You shouldn't be in there. You should not be in there with those fish. Get out of that. The author suggests that a large volume of illegal poaching activity could be an indicator that local seafood vendors are lacking adequate income opportunities which might increase the pressure to engage in illegal fishing activity. They also point to the fact that there is likely a lack of effective law enforcement in these regions, either because stopping illegal poaching isn't a priority for local authorities,

or because they don't have the tools to prove a fish's illegal origin. Yeah. In the Balkans, you say? I think that tools to prove a fish's illegal origin. Hmm. Yeah. In the Balkans, you say? I'm going to too busy like changing their country's name or whatever. Yeah, groaned to a new war that I don't understand. Get their asses. Take that the Balkans. Taken Country?

Yeah. He'd about the Balkans? Balkan country? Yeah. He heard about the Balkan powder keg? No. No. I don't know anything about the Balkans. No either. It's a pocket of the world that doesn't exist in my comprehension.

They're just over there doing different stuff. They're doing their own thing, you know? To be honest, that's their business. Starting World War I, etc. Hmm. Hello, it's me, Ben, from this podcast. Miriam Webster defines a podcast as a program made available in digital format for automatic download over the internet, and that simply could not be more true. If you like what we do and want more of this podcast made available to you in

digital format for automatic download over the internet, simply go to Patreon. Vista and hit the enormous red button that says subscribe. For five US dollars a month you get access to our weekly bonus episodes, our entire archive bonus episodes, our exclusive discord server and an RSS feed of both bonus episodes and free episode That doesn't have these ads in them. That sweet sweet subscriber cash allows me to do this show full-time without having to get a real job And frankly that whips to me. The other guys also get some money or whatever, but I don't really care. Anyway, check that out if it sounds good to you. Love you. A country that we do know a thing or two about big asterisk next to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. I I their. their. their. I their. I their or two about, big asterix next to that, big asterisks next to that, is the Netherlands. It's time for Dutch Watch. Hey guys, what's up with your new Prime Minister or whatever you got over there?

Yeah, you see that news Lucy? Yeah. What's up with the... Hey guys, what's up with your new prime minister or whatever you got over there? Yeah, you see that news Lucy? Yeah. The surprise winner of the Dutch elections was Geatwilders. Oh, okay. Geets back. Geets back.

Yeah, I think, you know, seeing the probable Dutch PM geared to wielders. Everyone's got to, every country's got to have a turn at like electing somebody who's just pure evil. Yeah. You give all the rest of try, you go like, hey, maybe you know we can change a few things, move some dials on education or tax rates or whatever. It's boring after a while. Everyone gets bored with that. It's time for someone who's just like... It's time for a total psychopath. Yeah, it's just sent out and out. Time to Satan's spawn. Yeah. Let's bring him in. We've all, we've all been like, you know, kind of leaning away from electing the guy who wants to ban Islam. Yeah. But, but hear me out. Yeah. leaning away from electing the guy who wants to ban Islam.

But, but, hear me out. Yeah, they're kind of leaning into that. Yeah, just for one cycle, just to see what happens. Our progressive Netherlands. Yeah, no, basically as soon as that happened, I was like, uh, Netherlands, not beating the charges, I see. Yeah, occasionally, like, I do kind of, you know what, maybe the Netherlands, maybe the charges I see. Yeah, occasionally like I do kind of go, you know what, maybe the Netherlands we need to ease up a little bit, you know, they got a lot of good things going for the riding their little bikes smoking their little weed.

Yeah. And then they're like, well, what if Satan had a horrible little eagle's nest on his head? Mm-hmm. That's this guy. Yeah, you do think to yourself, maybe we're not so different, and then they do something super racist and you go, oh we're not so different. Yeah, we're not, we're really not, we're all the same deep down. Yeah. White countries, I mean. Yeah. From Algamine Nidelins Perspiro,

Dutchman helps solve mystery of bat species extremely long penis. Oh yeah, I've been looking at these things for ages, and I got to my ears. Crack the code. I've seen a lot of bats penises let me tell you. This bat is unusual. This bats got a little something extra. Oh that bats got got that thing on him? Thanks to a Dutchman. It's not how you want to start any sentences. Yeah. Thanks to a Dutchman researchers have been able to solve the mystery of a bat species extremely

long penis. Yon Dukin, 72, from Horset and Mars, has been filming serotine bats in the attic of the St. Matthias Church in Castanray near Venray for eight years. Why have been doing that, sir? Why have been Castanre near Venray for eight years. Why have you been doing that, sir? Why have been filming? That's with huge dicks for eight years. Just at home he's got like, uh, like, you know, Dennis from Always Sonny just has his drawers full of sex tapes. This guy's house. Thanks to his footage of their mating, hmmm.

Researchers have determined what the animal does with its long genitals. Is it mating? I think it's putting it in the bat pussy. Sorry, I just need to marinate in this for a little bit. He's got his big telephoto lens. I've been filmingenating this for a little bit. I'm back with you in a second. He's got his big telephoto lens. I've been filming these bats fucking for 12 years. Average Dutchman interests.

Filming bats with big penis. Riding a book. Bat dong. The bat does not use its exceptionally large penis for penetration, but as an arm during mating. A European team now concluded after studying the images from Castan Ray and other places. Okay. Power! after studying the images from Castanre and other places. Okay. Pahua. You can caught the animals mating 93 times in his footage. Why did you need so much?

Why did you need so much of this footage? There's no explanation. Like it's, there's no need for you to keep filming these bats mating. I don't know. You get yourself 60 or 70 bits of footage and you're like, yeah, but what if my backups fail? It's the Stanley Kubrick of filming bats with extremely long penises. Gonna be here all night if we have to. For the first time a mammal has been documented that reproduces without penetration during mating.

A baffled researcher from the University of Lausanne, Switzerland reported. A baffled researcher. The male uses his penis to push the female's tail skin aside. Oh come on. That is followed by a long, silent embrace during which the sperm is transferred. Exactly how that happens needs to be further investigated, you can said. Well, we've got just the guy for the job. We need to send you back in. Yeah, I mean, to be honest, he didn't sound like he was going to stop filming them.

The serotine bat's penis is about seven times longer than the length of the female's vagina. Huh. That's just showing off at this point. Also notable is that the gland expands in the shape of a heart. Oh. What? And becomes much wider than the female's vagina. That makes penetration impossible, the researchers said.

So they got this giant, girthy, heart-shaped, and also long bat penis. Oh, that's a funky looking little penis. It's a joke dong. It's not for, yeah. You guys want to see this penis? Yeah, I guess. It's well, it's more of an illustration. It's one from my personal collection. All right, as long as it's through a thrown through a lens of... It looks, it looks like, so we've got an illustration of a little heart shapes at the end.

Yeah, we've got an illustration of what seems to be a bat's tummy. Yeah, we're. We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're the, we're th, we're all, we're all, the th, th, th, th, th, that's that's that's all, that's that's the, it, it's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that's, that's, th, th, that's that's that's that's the the the th, the th, that's th, that's that's th. It's that's more that's more that's more that's that's that's that's that's that, th. It's th, heart shapes at the end. Yeah, we've got an illustration of what seems to be a bat's tummy. Yeah, we're all looking at this. And then there's Big Bonner coming out of there. And I would say it looks like the scene in the first alien movie by Ridley Scott. Goaded Ridley Scott, where the alien, the xenomorph, chest bursts out of the guy's chest for the first time.... But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, but, but, but, but, the the the the th. the the th. the the the the the thum. th. the the thum. the that, the the that, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th's, the th's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that that that that that tumumat that that that that that that that thumbs. that's that's thumbs. that's thum. the alien, the xenomorph, chest bursts out of the guy's chest for the first time, but imagine that the alien that came out was ET. Yeah, it looks like ET got flayed. Yeah. Yeah. So everybody just feel free to imagine your penis is a ET's flailed head. That's really horrible.

Like, how you zoomed in on that? They've really gone to tell, there's little hairs on it. Yep. The veins's gone up the sun. It's quite graphic, yeah. Yeah. It's for science, though. It's for science. Nothing weird about it.

Nothing weird about this bat's penis. Oh, so were you filming that stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff science? Science? Yeah, yeah science. So we would know. Science men. Yep, definitely, definitely science. But the great big heart-shaped weird penis, it is the incorrect shape and it is impossible to penetrate according to researchers. We have really just gone through a collection of God's mistakes. Yeah, but these bats are, they're making do. Yeah. You know, being creative with it.

You know? It's not about the size of your fucked up weird-shaped penis. I feel like in this case it is. It's the motion of the ocean. In a bad way, yeah. I don't know, that's what he's doing with it. Yeah, as long as you can push aside the tail's skin. Yeah, go on. Please continue to describe it to me. When I got up today, we were going to record in the morning, we usually record in the morning, we got delayed. So I went back to bed and I closed my eyes and I opened them up again three hours later. What a little trait for you. Still tired. Oh, I was going to say that's too long. That nap is too long. No, not if you have it. Not if you have it at 7. th. And I. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. the to. th. the to. th. to. the to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to the the the to to th. to the morning. We're the morning. We're the morning. We're the morning. We're the morning. We're the morning. We're the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the morning. the the morning. the the morning. the the tod. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. today. We're wea. We're wea. say that's too long. That nap is too long. No, not if you have it, no, not if you have it at 7 a.m. Yeah, that doesn't count as a nap. It's just going back to sleep.

That's just me, have a little... I had a nap the other day, which is unusual for me. It's out of character for me. And slept for too long, an hour and a half, two hours or something. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's at at at at at at at at at at at at at at. It's at that's at that's at that's at th at th at th at th at th at th at th at th at th at th at th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's that. It's that. the. the. the. It's the. It's the. It's that. It's that. It's at. It's at at. It's at. It's of character for me. And slept for too long, like maybe, I don't know, an hour and a half, two hours or something. And that fucked me up for the rest of the day. I felt like I had been shot with a tranquilizer, I had a nap. That's ruining my entire day if I take a nap. Yeah, I went and had a little nap yesterday because I've been feeling very, very migrainee

for like two days, we're dropped. And I went to have a little lie down because we're having people over in the afternoon. And I lay down and just put a timer on my phone immediately for like 25 minutes. Yeah, that's it. 25 minutes? Oh. You got it. You got it. You know it. Hey, when we're doing the Netherlands thing, they mentioned a place name, I immediately open up Google Maps and I zoom in on the Netherlands thinking I'm going to find the place name. I never do. But I do then just spend the rest of the episode zooming in on places called like Decoxdorp.

Sex Beerum. Arson. and so forth. So anyway, check out maps of the Netherlands. Maps of the Netherlands. Um... Um... Uh, we already did a crime watch, but here we are with another crime watch. I don't know how to get back in. I've segwayed out of this segment.

Oh, you've locked yourself out. Oh, I don't know. I left my keys in the segment. I left my keys in the segment. I guess we'll just have to do this one from outside the segment. We're gonna do a crime watch. Hit it roll. Just hit it roll.

Like at the, yeah, we're too big to fit back in the crime watch segment. That's right. Uh, this comes to a K-S-T-U in Tampa, Florida. Oh, the K-Stu! The K-Stu! The more stolen items found in backyard of St. Pete Man arrested for stealing endangered tortoises. Put him back. Came for the tortoises. Are they tortois?

St. Pete's detectives dug up more expensive and rare collectibles in the backyard of a man's home in St. Pete. St Pete. You can't sink. I don't think he's not, no, come on now. Like, are we... It's not his name. Do we have no respect? You know? Yeah, are we, is this a nickname for St. Petersburg? I googled St. Pete, and I get St. Petersburg, Florida. But like, they're

really angry about this. Yeah, that's got to be it. Yeah, St. Petersburg, but all the way through this article they're calling it St. Pete. I don't like that. Yeah, overly familiar. Yeah, come on. Yeah, I'm not going to kiss him on the mouth or anything. It's a saint. This is the same man who back in May was arrested and accused of stealing endangered tortoises and rare comic books. This is a real, like, do you think maybe this guy had a big kind of thing where he made a wish and he woke up as like a 40-year-old man and went, ah, I have the strength to get away with whatever I want. It's time to get all the pet turtles and rare comics that I want.

It's a more common combination than you'd think as well. An autocrast. The pet turtle and comic nexus? Yeah. Strong crossover the there. Let's see what else he's stole and see if this is bolstering or weakening our theory here. He also stole an autographed guitar and medieval helmet. Hell yes. I'm picturing him using all of these items at once.

He's got the helmet on. He's playing the guitar. The tortoises there. Those are item as hell, by the guitar, the tortoises there. Those are item as hell as well by the way, like... That's very cool. An autograph guitar and a medieval helmet are just some of the rare and expensive items, St. Pete Police say, Joshua McCarty Thomas stole. Quote, it's been a lot of connecting the dots,

SPPD public information officer Yolanda Fernandez said, this one has been extremely unusual since the very beginning. I mean, we found two endangered stolen tortoises. Now I did say turtles early on. Oh, don't get mad. I said turtles when I wasn't quoting the article. That's all so don't get mad at KSTU and also especially don't get mad at me. If you were in the middle of writing a comment on the episode, learn your lesson.

Choose kindness. Wait the three minutes until we address it so that you don't have to do the standard Buntavista listen to practice of writing a comment to say I can't believe no one mentioned this thing and then writing another comment four minutes later saying oh they mentioned the thing. Also consider we're all in our mid-30s to early 40s so we've finished learning stuff you're only in my early 30s you're in your life let's settle it down there my goodness good let's settle it down there my goodness okay Lucy can learn two new things. I got a little room for information, just a little bit.

Well, too much though. We don't want to go crazy. Back in May, detectives found two Galapagos tortoises worth $10,000 each inside McCarty's home. I don't feel like you should be raiding tortoises on how much they're worth. Like, yeah. Who's that? Who are you selling that to? What are you getting from having that in your home? Like what is its value to you? A friend? You're getting a lifelong friend. He's going to outlive you most likely. Yeah. Do you want to live to bury your turtle? Or do you want to be outlived by your turtle? It's the saddest thing in the world to bury your turtle?

To bury your colapagus tortoise. No turtle parent should have to bury their turtle. So true. There's some sad, sad ex-turtotal owner out there writing a very sad email right now. Oh my god, they're so big too. A Galapagos tota? Yeah.

How big we're talking? What would you name? Oh, that's a big boy? What would you name a pet? Galapagous tortoos, that thee? I don't know. Cheddar. Cheddar? That's pretty good. That's cute. Look at the necks. They all look like Hans Malman. They do. They sound like them too. Little old guys. Yeah, they look pretty cool. I wonder if they smell like shit. I'll guarantee. How dirty you think a tortoise is? Maybe not that dirty, but if you're like 80 years old. And a turtle. I mean tortoise, tortoise... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. They're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're they're all they're all. They're all. They're all. They're all. They're all. They're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. they're they're. th. th. they're. they're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. that. theat. that. that. that. that. that. that. the. they're all. they're like 80 years old and a turtle, I mean tortoise, tortoise.

Fuck. Oh, fuck. Probably not going to be so angry right now. Probably not going to smell great, I think. I'm keeping them outside at the very least, that's all I'm saying. A tortois is a tortois. So as tortoes is a turtle. So, as a torto. A torto. A torto. A torto. A torto. A torto. A torto. A torto. A torto. A torto. A torto. So, torto. A torto. A torto. So, a torto. So, a torto. So, a torto. So, a torto, a torto, torto. So, torto, tortoise. So, tortoise. So, torto. So, tortoise. So, tortoise, tortoise. So, tortoise. So, tortoise. So, tortoise. So, tortoise. So, tortoise. So, tortoise. So, tortoise. So, tortoise. So, tortoise. So, tortoise. So, tortoise. So, tortoise. So, torto, torto, torto, torto. So, torto, torto, torto. So, torto. So, tortoise. tortoise. tortoise. tortoise. tortoise. tortoise. tortoise. tortoise. tortoise. So, tortoise. So, tortoise. So, tortoise.ing about tortoises, you can say turtles. So all tortoises are a type of turtle, but not all the turtles. Tortoises are totals. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And the way to remember that is the one of them starts with te not. Yeah. On Tuesday... That news has already happened.

Yeah. On Tuesday, detectives grabbed shovels and started digging in McCarty's backyard after the investigation led them back to his home. They found expensive jewelry and other items wrapped up in Walmart shopping bags. They were also led to a storage unit where they found signed musical instruments and framed art. Oh, yes. This guy is this th is th is th is th is th is th is thiiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. thi thi thi thi th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the thate thate. Yeah, the the th th th th th th th, th, th, th th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. thee. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th they found signed musical instruments and framed art. Oh yes, this guy is addicted to items. He's the Danny Ocean of stealing items. He just likes items, huh? He's not picky. He's not so much a career criminal as he is a man just really set on bolstering his inventory. He's a collector, yeah.

What if he needs some of this stuff later? What if some of these, how bad are you going to feel if you take this stuff off this guy and later on you find out some of them were key items? You know? Yeah, no, he can't finish his quest. She's gonna have of prophecy is broken. Yep, it's going to be some NPC hanging out a block from his house just waiting for him to come back with that autographed guitar. Oh.

Oh. Oh. McCarty Thomas remains in the peniless county jail where he's been since May. Too long. What's the crime? Item theft. You got his stuff. Just ask him to give it to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their tock from a block a block a block a block a block a block a block a block a block a block a block a block a block a block a block a block a block a block a block a block a block a block a their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thock. thock. their thockleaucockleau.c. Hea. thefte. theck. theck. theck. Hea. Hea. theck. Hea. Hea. He long. Well, what's the crime? What's the crime? Item theft? You got his stuff, just ask him to give it back. Yeah. Plus, look around your house. You must have like 200 items just in your line of sight.

Some people don't have any items. Yeah. How's that supposed to make them feel? He's currently facing 10 different counts, including burglary and grand theft.......... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. to thi. to to thi. to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi burglary and grand theft. Quote, we've recovered everything we can so far. He's the only one who knows if there's anything else out there. There's a hundred, there's so much stuff out there though. He's got all tortu. He knows that there's more items out there and he's going to be getting some of them. Yeah, have they run the bloody correlation or whatever in their database? This man's responsible for items all over the tri-state area.

Huh, well, well, at least nobody got shot. Perhaps he had an antique pistol in there. You wouldn't want that to go off and hit anybody. Otherwise we'd have to put them into the clipping report. It's time for the clipping report. I'm in a fucking dish and with the clipping report. The clipping report, of course, the segment where we track news about people who have accidentally let a round off, somewhere where they shouldn't. You know? Don't do that.

Just a little bit. From the San Antonio Express news, man shot himself in the head while playing with gun. It's all fun in games until. Until, yeah. That's the worst. That's the place. The one place you don't want to show yourself. This is like the opposite of those UK headlines that reveal like 400 different facts in one sentence. This really boiled it down, winnowed it to just a gleaming, pure, dense piece of information. A man accidentally shot himself in the head early Wednesday on the northeast side. It's not what you want, is it?

Hmm. Officers responded to a shooting shortly after midnight in the 500 block of Lanark Drive near Kruger Middle School and Loup 410. Upon arrival, officers were informed that a 22-year-old found a gun on the table in the home and began playing with it. Yeah, wee! What else are you going to do when you find a gun on the table? He's got ADHD. It's his fidget toy. According to the preliminary report, a person at the residence told him to quote, put the gun down. But he put the gun to his head and accidentally shot himself. Like is it a joke? What if I shot myself in the head?

And the next thing you know you are shooting yourself in the head? I suppose so. Record scratch. You're probably wondering how I got here. The big hole in my head. A sergeant on the scene said five people were having a get-together when the incident happens. Who's the clown who just rested his gun on the table? Rested it on the table. Playing a little like, spin the gun. Hey man. You don't, you, you don't want to play, you, you don't want to play. the. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the th. I tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. thoooooooooooooooooooooooo. thooooooooooo thoooo he here here here here here here. tho the the the clown who just rested his gun on the table. Rested it on the table. Plain to like spin the gun.

Hey man, you don't want to put your gun down near Toby, dude, just letting you know. He's got it-edged. He's got wandering hands. He will put that gut against his head and shoot himself. Oh boy. Oh, The man was transported to a local hospital in critical condition, police said. Yikes.

Oh, yeah. Just don't do that. Don't do that. Hey. Take that away from this episode this week. Don't put a gun to your head even as a bit. You're at the firearms training. What you're never going to want to do do do do do to do to do and like what you're what you're never gonna want to do. Let's load the gun. I'm slowly putting rounds into

the gun, put it against you, phew! Brut-da! Yeah, you know, often when you do leave a gun around and somebody plays with it, accidentally you shoot himself in the head while goofing, the cops will show up. And when the cops show up, we have a little people what's going on. That's right. It's time for cop watch. From K-A-R-E in Minneapolis, we care. We care. We care.

That's nice. Wasika police may be dealing with impersonator. The Wasika police department said it may be dealing with an impersonator in the community. Was he running around shooting people? A guy that just does impressions. Hey, who am I? Who am I? Take this out, license and registration.

I'd call the cops on that guy. Someone out here pretending to be you. He's doing a really good. Send someone out quick, he's nailing it. On Saturday, Captain Chris Marcusen said a resident reported a strange encounter Since I went out quick, he's nailing it. On Saturday, Captain Chris Markison said a resident reported a strange encounter with a man who claimed to be a Wiseka police officer. Quote, it was approached by a person that he believed was a police officer at first, but

after a few minutes of talking to him, realized this may not be a police officer, Captain Marcus said. The resident told police that the possible impersonator claimed to be in the neighborhood due to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the neighborhood a to to to to to the to to the resident a to to the resident to the resident to to the resident to to the resident to to to to the resident, to to to to to to to the resident, to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the neighborhood the neighborhood the neighborhood the neighborhood the neighborhood the neighborhood to the neighborhood the neighborhood to the neighborhood the neighborhood the neighborhood due to to the neighborhood the neighborhood due to to the neighborhood to the neighborhood to the neighborhood, the to the to the to to to the to to to police that the possible impersonator claimed to be in the neighborhood due to a noise complaint. The resident said the man was skinny, tall, and Caucasian, and appeared to be in his 40s. Not jacked, not a stripper. I think we can rule out stripper at this point. Said the man was buffed and smooth. Really sexy. It's really to be the the the the the the the the the the thipipipipipipip th is is is is really th. I was th. I was th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to be thi to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be in to be in to be in to be in to be in to be in to be in to be in to be in to be in to be in to be in to be to be in to be in to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the to be the the the the the th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the nea the nea the neighborhood the neighborhood the nea the nea the nea the the the the the the thia smooth. Visibly dripping oil. He's really oily.

He's really oily. Bottles all the way down the side of his pants. He's holding a boom box. He spoke with the man briefly, and then the man left the neighborhood without any problems. The resident told police to this man was driving a black SUV that featured a light bar on top and a spotlight on the driver's side. Don't do that. That's some zodiac killer. Yeah, I was thinking like, what's the crime? But yeah, often the crime is.

Serial murder. Yes. It's using, using all that power that the police currently have and also abuse. They said the SUV was marked Wasika Police and also featured a four-digit unit number on the back window, but police say this vehicle is not one of their squad cars. Surely that makes him very easy to find. Easy to identify and... How many of them... How many of them. How many

black SUVs has this police department got? None from the sounds of things. Well one now I guess. Quote it's very concerning to hear something like this captain Markson said as of this point the person has not been located's very concerning to hear something like this, Captain Markson said. As of this point, the person has not been located, but we continue to investigate. Police say impersonation cases like this are rare, but they do happen. The Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension said over the last three years, Minnesota law enforcement agencies have reported 194 impersonation cases, including 68 so far this year. That's a, I think that's a problem as soon as somebody's just out there saying, what if I would have to cruise around

and pretend I would have to stop me from pretending I'm a cop. What's to stop me? Yeah, I mean, I don't know anything about law enforcement. And I'm kind of just like, mean, the the thirty-like, thirty like, mean, thirty that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's What's to stop me? Is it illegal? I don't know anything about law enforcement. Uh, and I'm kind of just like mean-spirited and real piece of shit. But I'm wondering if that's not going to stop me. Jeff Potts with the Minnesota Chiefs of Police Association is encountered a handful of cases during his career, and he offers this advice. Quote, if you ever find yourself in a situation that doesn't feel quite right, you can ask the person who says they're a police officer if you can see their identification and a badge

and police officers should be able to produce that, Potts explained. Or they might just say, shut the fuck up and they hit you with the gun or shoot you with it. Yeah. I think that's the that's I guess the other issue here right which is that in Australia if somebody said I am a cop and you went no you're not they'd go fuck but like I saw a couple of people walking past in the the thoo'court the other day. I was out running some errands at lunchtime and I thought, I'm going to get a falafel. And I'm standing there waiting,

and this person comes walking past and I was like, oh, I got a whole bunch of bulky shit around their waist. And it was a gun. And, you know, so, but it was a plain clothes person. Plain clothes cop, of course had a sleeve or two of questionable tattoos. Yeah, well, Ned Kelly on this. And two other plain clothes lady cops with him.

And all of them were dressed in like casual, I'm just someone at the mall clothes, but they all had their full utility belt Just to guess I need to light someone up. Yeah with the full-sized gun holster and the radio and the pepper spray and the handcuffs and all of that shit and I was kind of like who who's not noticing that you're a cop when all three of you are very visibly kid it out? And if I don't think you're a cop, you just be like, hey, does that guy have a gun? Hey, that's fucking terrifying.

Like, I guess, I guess the reason I think of it is because like, it's so culturally different here to see a gun in real life. Do you see someone with a gun? It's super uncomfortable. It takes me back every single time when I see a cop's gun, I'm like, oh, that's an item of power. Yeah, generally speaking, the only time you're seeing a gun is on a uniformed police officer.

And that's not that common unless you live, I don't know, in a city kind of thing, I think. So it was very jarring and very, very out of the ordinary to see three people with like holstered guns and not a uniform. It was, it was like so noticeable because it was so out of the ordinary, you know? So here if somebody said to you, I'm a policeman, and you'd go, nah, if someone just walked up to you, you know? But over there, anybody can go and buy themselves a Glock, right? Yeah. Anyone can go get themselves... Pretty much anybody.

Anyone can go get themselves the same guns that the police have and you could buy yourself like a bulletproof vest or a stab vest. You could just sit there and go through and say here's all the stuff that the cops in my city or state wear including like... Sexy police outfit, buttons down the side. Bones outside boom box. You could I think quite easily just say all the stuff that my local cops wear and I'm just going to get myself the the b my my my my my my my the the the the the the the the the the the the b my the the b my the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the b. the bu bu. th. thi bu bu. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi bu bu. thi bu. thi bu bu. the bu bu. th. the bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu bu. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. thin. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t all right, here's all the stuff that my local cops wear and I'm just going to get myself identical kit to that that all plain clothes police wear. And then you go up to somebody with your gun and you say I'm a cop and they go, uh-huh.

Okay? Yeah, by the way, here's my gun. Oh, should I give you my gun? You say? Because you also have a gun in this scenario. Well, that's what that's what makes it so appealing, right? Everyone has a gun. So no one has a gun. Yeah, so no one has a gun. No one's gonna shoot anybody over there. And that's how it tends to go. We gotta check it out. I think there's another slide issue here. It says if you th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th I th I th I thi thi thi thi thi thi th I I th I th I th I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the. the. the. the. I the. the. I the. I the. the. I the. the. the. I the. the. the. th. And that's how it tends to go. We go check it out. I think there's another slide issue here. It says if you're ever in doubt, Potts said you can also call dispatch and ask them if an officer is in your area. Pots said dispatchers should be able to verify if the person you're seeing is actually out on police business. Quote, we always t and the dispatcher will help you out. I feel like that is kind of counted a little by the seemingly pervasive American attitude that if you don't do exactly what a cop orders you to do, no matter what it is in the instant they tell you to do it, that you're like an active threat to them and they can execute.

Because they're going to panic a little bit, like they're going to them and they can execute you. Because they're gonna panic a little bit, like, they're gonna panic because you ask to see their badge. I imagine that if you like roll down your window and a police officer's like, get the fuck out of the car right now, you know, blah, but you, and you put one little finger up, you go, ah, uh, uh, uh, I'm just going to make a one phone call. I'm going to reach down. I'm going to call 911. I'm going to call 911. Just check that you should be here. And they probably react very well to that. Yeah, I'm going to call your boss right now. Yeah, just check if you're supposed to be here.

Bang, bang, bang, bang. I don't know. I feel like there's a lot of examples of times when, times when like disagreeing with a cop is immediately seen as like you are, you are being aggressive with me, you are attacking me. Disagreeing with me is violence. Don't do that. And that's why you should have your own gun. Basically. I believe that's the position of the podcast, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, totally. Yeah.

And if you don't have one, you can just take one from your local police officer. Yeah, the police will just give them a replacement. They've got tons of them. They've got heaps of them back at the station. Yeah, don't even don't even worry even worry th even worry th even worry th even worry th even worry th worry th worry th worry th worry th worry th worry thi thi th's one of your two crime passes for the week. This has been an episode of the podcast, Buntavista. Thank you for listening, if you did, if you turn it off halfway through, up yours you smell. We don't like you. Everyone's talking about how much you smell. All your friends talk about it when you leave the room. If you listen to the show all the way through, they're not talking about you. You you you you to you to to you. You to to to to you. You to to to to to to the the to the to the the the the the the the it when you leave the room.

If you listen to the show all the way through, we're not talking about you, you smell great. You smell amazing, actually. You smell as nice as a freshly oiled male stripper on his way out to a call. Buttons down the side of his pants ready to rock. Yeah. We hope you have a wonderful week. Thank you for stopping by. And we'll see you next time today