Boonta Vista - EPISODE 325: Do Waterfowl Know That They Is

Episode Date: December 10, 2023

Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: A helicopter pilot's divine encounter with a suicidal bird, a small problem in the pet skunk supply chain, a voyage around America in Blotter Watch, and re-visiting the Fabio goose incident. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello, guys, gamers are non-binary. Okay, they won't get everything they need. It's all good. Hello, guys, gamers and non-binary fans of irreverent improvised topical comedy, and welcome to another new listener-friendly episode of the Australian comedy, current events, podcast, Buntavista. As always, I'm your host, Ben, and I hope you're ready for 60 red-hot minutes of the wackest, goofiest, and, yeah, I'll say it, randomest news from across the world, but the world, but the world, but th, but th, but th, but th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, minutes of the wackiest, goofiest, and, yeah I'll say it, randomest news from across the world, but mostly America. How come I get in trouble for my intro is being alienating? This is the opposite of that.

This is what normal podcast sound like. Don't start a fight while we're doing the intro. That's right. For the next hour, we're bringing our trademark brand of offbeat humor to bear at the headlines that didn't make it to the front page or even the second page, mostly because they're just not that interesting. And to be clear, the four of us on this podcast aren't famous for anything else. That's right, none of us are professional comedians and you could accurately describe this show as a bartender, a power systems engineer a power systems engineer, and a copywriter reading articles verbatim off the internet.

But wait, before you put that gut in your mouth, let me assure you, this podcast does have a point of difference. We're a bit rude sometimes. We're seemingly quite comfortable using gay as a pejorative and will occasionally make reference doing something generously called the Samurai Voice. Sick of the sound of my voice? Well, so am I. But don't worry. There are other people on the show too. Also with me is Theo, who currently has Gastro and is trying to squeeze this show in between pissing out of his asshole. Hey, how's it going? I- Hey, Bud. I don't think we've gotten away with using gay as a pejorative. Nor should? Right, no one has called us out all that. No one's called us it about it.

And plus Lucy and I are both part gay. So we're allowed. Yeah, on your mother's side. I don't know. I don't know. too'e'n't, th, let me try that again. Hey bud, how are you? Hey, yeah man, I'm fired up. I am ready to go and I'm ready to hit the page six of the news where there's the titties are. Yeah. Hell yeah, we're also raunchy as well. Yeah, I'm sweating. I'm sweating. He's podcasting shirtless, which is like a, it's a good tactical

move. I was considering doing it myself actually. It's very hot here. It's hard to get my shirt off if I've got my headphones on as well. It's also not that hot in Brisbane today, strangely. It's hot in you. Yeah, I got a fire burning in me. Yeah, that fire is pure diarrhea, baby. Also with me is Andrew, who I'm sure is prepared for us one of his wacky trademark catchphrases. What have you got to say, Andrew? Diarrhea's a poppin. Whoa! There we go, that's the intro.

We're doing the show now. Are you happy? Yeah, is this what you wanted? Be sure to tell your friends to check out episode 325 of the podcast, Buntavista, and then once they're eased into it. They're lulled. They're like, oh, I know the language of this. This is the language of podcasting.that it is this is our copyrighted patented blend of humor and we are very litigious.

Yes. Don't do this. If we think anybody is reading past page 3, is reading past page 3, which is the tiddy girls for the record, if anyone's reading past page 3 and getting to the boring stuff at page 6 or 7 and thinking, this might be funny to tell a friend, you will be hearing from our legal representation. Oh, page 6 is the name of a publication, isn't it? That's why I always think page 6 is the name of a column.

That's so close up the front. Yeah, they really just have the one page in the way so it's's not just all tiddies on the British newsstand. Yeah. But yeah, page six, Ben, I understand to be a, is that a gossip column? I think it's a gossip column. I think you're right. A blind item gossip column in one of the New York newspapers. We've made this exact error, I'm going to say four or five times of the podcast hour. And that is also part of the podcast is that we're kind of in hell in a way.

In that not in a bad way like I'm enjoying being in hell, but we're repeating the same thing. We're covering the same familiar turf for hours every week and we're always ourselves. And you're not going to remember. Our aging audience enjoys the familiarity. Like the parts of the brain that have not completely at this point sort of start to fire. the the the to thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi thi thi thi the thi the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tho tho- tho- tho- tho- thi thi- theatu- tho- tho- like tho- like tho- like tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the tho tho tho tho tho tho tho-n' tho-n'-n'-n'-njo-njo-njo-njo-njo-of tho-n' tho-n' parts of the brain that have not completely at this point sort of start to fire off and go, oh, I recognize that. This is almost, you know what this podcast is like? It's sort of like the avant-garde experimental concept

album, an empty bliss beyond this world by the caretaker, where he imagines sort of what it might be like in the sort of the daydreaming thoughts of someone with dementia or Alzheimer's. So what he's done is he's sampled old sort of, what would you call it, maybe not big band, exotica maybe, but music from the 30s and 40ss put a lot of reverb on it and he just repeats little samples of it over and over and over again, like a little refrain caught in the brain of someone with dementia, but instead this is people largely in their 30s hearing us tell the same diarrhea story like once every 100 episodes. So don't try and copy this sort of trademark blend of humor and podcasting.

We will take you down. It's big money to be made here. Sometimes we like to try and bring the energy up by bringing in a segment that's a little shorter and a little snappier. Sometimes it's about car crashes, sometimes it's about ship crashes, sometimes it's about tragic deaths. But this time it's about little tiny snippets of police reports in a segment that we call Blotter Watch. We haven't really had any success fitting this into the mold of like the shipping report, the clipping report. The ripping report. success fitting this into the mold of like the shipping report, the tripping

report, the clipping report, the ripping report. Yeah there's only so many rhymes with that and if you can think of a good one, let us know. If you can think of a good one and you say it out loud you will hear from our attorneys. That's right, only email it to us. No. So the blotter watch is, I collect little bits from police blotters all over America. So these aren't all from the same town. It's just sort of taking the temperature of America, see what's going on, see what's happening in the psyche of the American people. These ones take place from between November 19th and December 8th.

Hey, hey Ben, not to interrupt the segment before we're all the way into it. But I'm just wondering, like, do you have any kind of image in your mind of what the modern-day technology being used for blotter management is? It's just like it's a database, I think. They just basically, as they get the call, they file a report and that goes into a little database that I think mostly just gets published as a PDF that journalists can look at. Because blotter used to just be a big piece of paper, right?

That's correct, yes. Big pad, you'd get a call and go, clown with a knife, huh? Crazy. Write it down and then the police do nothing. Write it down. Yeah. Yeah. And these days, it's all bloody computers. It's all bloody computers. Where's the heart and the soul in violent policing anymore?

That's right. This one's from November 19, 3.45 a caller in the 400 block of Double Tree Drive reported someone pounded on the caller's door and left a figurine on the porch. Hmm. What if the porcelain man left a porcelain man for you? Yes. Yeah.

And the porcelain man isn't made a porcelain. A lot of people getting confused about the porcelain man's origins. He's a regular man, but he's wearing a porcelain mask that has no features on it. Yep. And if you're unfamiliar with any of this, because this is your first episode, go back about, what do we say? What are the good episodes now? 100, 150 episodes back? 50? Yeah.

Back when we were young. Yeah. I don't think the porcelain man is from within the last 12 months, that's my opinion. Yeah, go back a year. I think you'd be fine then. I think we've largely gotten over our COVID depression by then and really get back into the swing of things. Pause this episode and then you know when you've done the whole thing in sequence. When you've done a hundred, hundred odd hours, you'll be caught up. Yeah. I think I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. th. th. thi, I've thi, I think th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I've th. I've th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. the the thin, the the the the thean thin theean thean thean the thin the the the the the the the the the think I might have mentioned this before, it's about the cyclical nature of this podcast, but the blind boy podcast, he starts every single episode by saying if you're unfamiliar with Laura, this podcast, go back and listen to an earlier episode, but he does it at the start of all the episodes. So even if you, if you chain that happening, you'll just go back to another one, you to go back further, to th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi the the they their their their their their their their thi, their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the the the, the, the, the the the, the, the the the th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thii, thi, thi, thi, the thi one and be like, oh shit, I have to go back further. Oh, I have to go back further. We don't want you to do that.

No. Don't bother listening before episode 200 except for the good ones from before then. November 21st, 10 a.m. The caller in the 4,800 block of 10th Street reported a man running westbound with a rifle in a case. Okay. Oh, all right. Yep. Got important people to see. Yeah. I reckon one of life's true joys must be

stepping out of the maintenance door on top of a building with your rifle in a case. Yes. Placing the case down on the concrete crenulation surrounding the edge of the building. Flicking the little metal clips off. Oh my god, yes, absolutely. Opening up a velvet lined. Yeah, and we just don't get to experience that anymore. No, it's all computers now. It's all computers these days. It's probably a little button

that you press on your briefcase. Ben, when I was watching one of those old James Bond movies, Sean Connery's, James Bond had a rifle that was tactfully concealed entirely in the butt of a rifle. Yes. Now, that's a bit of a suspected thing. They give him like, it's one of the real early ones, right? It's one of the first, first three Bond movies I'm going to say. And Q, is it Q? Yeah, it's Q. Branch. G, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th. It's, it's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it was thi, it was thi, it was thi, it was thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that-a, that-a. It was that-a. It was that-a. It was that-a. It was that-a, that-a, that, that, th the first, the first three Bond movies I'm going to say. And Q, is it Q? Yeah, it's Q. Q Branch gives him, gives him a, like a traveling briefcase.

And he's like, now pay careful attention. This side has a knife you can pull out. Yeah, dope. It's a flat throwing knife. And Bon takes out and goes, hmm, and appraises it beautifully. And then he says, we've also got this thing that looks like shaving cream, but it's actually a tear gas canister.

And he's like, cool. And he says, here's this empty briefcase. You can, it's got a magnet up the top. You put the tear gas canister up the toe If someone tries to do exactly what you were just describing Theo, push the clasps out to the side so they've satisfyingly flip open. The tear gas canister will explode in their face instead. Oh no, ah, I don't know where I am. It's not what I wanted. Keep your documents in the clasps and then push them out, you know, and he's like,

And finally, here's this thing that you can put inside your suitcase, and it's like the butt of a rifle and all of the other components of the rifle are in that. And he pulls it out and assembles it all, and I'm like, yeah, it's still looks a lot like part of a gun. Yeah, still looks a part of a gun. Yeah. Still looks like half of a gun. Hey, don't worry, he's only got half a gun. It's only got half a gun. What's he getting up to over there? Could be anything. He gets another half of a gun.

We're fucked. Well, like, the other thing he shows him about the briefcase right at the start is like, in here if you unscrew this thing, all these rounds of ammo come out in this tube. And I'm like, oh damn, the suitcase is going to shoot people. He's going to have like a trigger and he could pull a shoot out of his suitcase, but no, he's like, they're just for the gun, is your gun. Yeah. You know, they literally, Ingram, I think.

There's a couple of places that have literally built models of their sub-machine guns that fit in a suitcase, manufactured, etc. for special forces. There's a thing that they do. Yeah, that's really weird. Give it a little pull. Brapp. They shouldn'tthing that they do. Yeah, that's really weird. Give it a little pull. Brap. They shouldn't do that. November 22nd, 3.30 p.m.

A caller on the 1,000 block of 9th Street reported a couple people, quote, being weird, back by the dumpsters. The caller wouldn't elaborate. He just wanted an officer to come out. Hey, let your freak flag, let your freak flag fly. Yeah. And also, where would you rather they be weird? Yes. Can you think of a more, a more apt school? Yeah. I want to come to your living room and do that? No. They were doing it in the perfect place to do it. It seems like everything is in its right spot. Down by the dumpsters.

That's what the weird stuff happens. Yeah. Theo, it was a real gun, an AR 7 sniper rifle. A-7 sniper rifle. A-Ir-I don't know what that of his gun YouTube videos yet. I like the mechanics of it. They go click clack and stuff. They got little springs in them. You like that guy from Layer Cake.

Theo finishes his video and he says, oh, that's really interesting, just turns and writes one more name on the bottom of the list. December 1st, caller said a man carrying a stick was walking around with his pants down and yelling at people. When police arrived, others advised that the man was not causing trouble and that his pants were up. Ha! Oh, that guy? Hey, take a look at him.

He's a bit odd. Therella's a friend over there, pants all the way up. That man is entirely pantsed. Maybe you recall us doing a rasherman bit about this segment last time, or maybe you don't. Maybe you recall differently. There it is. Highbrow. Cultural podcast.

We'll took this day. December 3rd. Two callers reported a suspicious person attempting to steal a bicycle. The suspicious person was actually the owner of the bike. Well, that's very suss then. Why would he need to... Why would he have to steal his own bike? Possibly insurance fraud? Ah, this is December 3 as well.

Caller said a well-dressed man all in black and his puppy, who was in a crate, had been asking people for money and were refusing to leave. Shoot them both. Kill them. Should have given some money. Take them out! December 6th, 502 p.m. The caller from Dorsey Drive reported one of the traffic lights was staying red.

The caller advised that the light never turned green green green green green green green green green green green green green green green green green green green green green the the the the the the th the th the th the th turned th turned the the the the the the the their the the.. the. their their thoed the traffic lights was staying red. The call revised that the light never turned green. Oh my goodness. You're receiving a call from hell. Yeah, you're dead bro. You're sitting there forever. Yeah, it's never going to change. You're too pathetic to do anything about it. You're not going to drive through it. You're not going to drive through another car comes. What if someone sees you? Yeah, what if you call the police? Yeah. Yeah. What the police? Yeah? What if you? What the police? What the police? What the police? What? You? What? You? You? You? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're the car? You're? You're the the car? You're? You're the call? You're? You're the call? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? You're? You. What? You. What? You. What? You. What? You. What? You. What? You? You? You. What? You? You? You? You? You? You? You. What? You? You? You. What? You? You? You? You. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the th. the the th. the the call? Did a U-turn and then just went back the way you came instead of driving through the light that never changed. What would that say about you? Yeah, maybe it's trying to tell you something. That's probably what I'd do actually. December 8th, a woman on Oriel drive told police that she went out to her jeep, the door and found a shirt and pipe that that's, that that thap, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, tho, the, the, the, thee, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th, that's th th th th th tho, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's that thean thean thean thean thean thean thean theanan theananan, that that that that, that, to her sitting in the front seat. She said that nothing in her vehicle was taken and no damage to her jeep was present, she turned the shirt and pipe into

police to go to property. So what's the crime? Someone had a cool afternoon in her jeep? Yeah, I wonder what sort of pipe they mean. Probably. Oh, that's all I can think about, Ben, because it really changes the tone of it, right right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, the the the th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, the their, their, their, their, their, and, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the shirt, the shirt, the shirt, the shirt, the shirt, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. the. theat, th. th. theat, their, their, their, their, and pipe, and pipe, and pipe, and pipe, and pipe, their, their, the tone of it, right? Like imagine if you get in and there is like a pressed, well-folded, buttoned-down shirt and the kind of pipe that Rod Serling would smoke after it just finished, like writing an episode of the Twilight Zone. Yeah, beautiful point called Pipe. Or... Got a visit from the Tolkien encrypted.

Either that, or it's maybe a very, a very like worn out sun damaged shirt that says I'd rather be fishing and there's a bunch of like cigarette bones in it and the pipe is one used for methamphetamines. Yes. Or it's a length of PVC pipe. Yeah. Free shirt, free pipe. What's the fucking problem. Yeah. Free shirt, free pipe. What's the fucking problem? Free shirt, free pipe, baby. That's living. Are you tired of paying nothing for the same old superior quality free episodes of the

Buntavista podcast? Do you want less politics and more content about diarrhea, our animals gone wild? You're tired of skipping through those hours upon hours of paid product placement for Mark Wahlberg film shooter. Well, boy, do I have the offer of a lifetime for you. That's right, for just five US dollars a month. You too can be a premium VIP member of the Buntavista Patreon. That's right, just five US dollars for all of our bonus episodes.

That's over 300 hours of content from the hosts you know and definitely tolerate. I'll even throw in access to our glamorous and exclusive Discord server, where bizarre arguments only happen once or twice a week at most. Head to Patreon. to the next five minutes and I won't know because that's not my job, but you'll be enjoying the sweet satisfaction of supporting us, and we will love you romantically for it. That's my promise to you. Uh, well that's a report from things that are happening on the ground. Sometimes we like to check in on things that are happening up in the air in a segment that

we call helicopterly speaking. Ah, this is your captain speaking. Please return your seats for their upright positions as we are coming in hot on another edition of Plainly Speaking. Now if you the listener would like to take a more active role in this podcast, what you could do for us is just... We've been waiting for you too. Yeah, just to use your imagination if you could to, I guess, superimpose the sound effects of a helicopter into that intro that you just heard rather than the ambience of being in the cabin of a commercial plane and also maybe the captain is saying stuff that someone on a helicopter would say.

Yeah I don't think they really get on the intercom. No they just turn. They just turn. They just tell you. It's ever a headset there though so. Yeah I think I don't think I don't think I think I th think I th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi. Yeah. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. their their the. their turned. They just tell you. It's ever a headset that I say. Yeah, I think everyone can just kind of hear each other the whole time, right? Yeah. So yeah, sort out some kind of version of that for yourself in your mind palace and save us a little bit of work, okay? Thank you. Yes. From KC-A-W in Iowa, the k-kaw! The kkaw! Yeah. Sulan air rescue pilot back to work after getting hit by bird while flying. Who was flying? Who was hitting? Time to find out more. I mean, they were both flying, certainly. Oh, he could have been standing on the tarmac.

True. Yes. Correct. Albatross. They're not good at landing on land for a start. So they're a likely suspect and they would cause you a workplace injury, in my opinion. On November the 22nd, Wings Air Rescue in Sioux City was flying to Storm Lake Hospital for a patient, when all of a sudden, a waterfowl broke through the helicopter's windshield hitting the pilot.

Oh shit. Now that's a classic uh-oh moment. Mmm. Uh-oh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Topical. I'm just checking off. Every comedic beat that we're hitting.

Topical, cultured, raunchy. Really smart. Really smart and surreal. The five cornerstones of the comedy pyramid. Oh, you got the four pillars of hip-hop, and then you've got the five pillars of Punta Vista. That's right. Quote, we're canceling the mission, said a radio transmission from the incident. Uh-uh. We're done. Yeah. This mission is over. Will you make other arrange for us?

We hit a bird. We're diverting to the Storm Lake Airport. Did you hit the bird or did the bird hit you? You know? It's really something we think about. Yeah. I mean, how fast was each going? Yes. I think the one that was going fastest relative to the ground is the culprit. Yeah. And also I think maybe mix in a little intentionality there right maybe the bird meant to hit the helicopter yeah sick of this shit we've been struck by a bird we've been targeted by a bird yeah and he got a lot of foul if if this went to like a civil court who's winning who's paying for the other ones? Insurance claim?

I assume the bird's dead. The bird is probably not alive. Yeah. Due to the thing where it's smashed into a helicopter windscreen in mid-air. In fairness, some birds are more robust than others, but I take your point. There's no eagle smashing through a cafe window to try and steal it the jacket from drive. That's right. Walking it off. Quote, climb up over the top of the wind towers and then made the approach to the hospital pilot Troy McCormick said and just about that time wham! The bird came through the windscreen and hit me right in the side of the head here. Boom! And then exploded.. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tack tacket. tacket the their their their tacket tacket the towar from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from from. tacket. the the the the the tacket. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te the windscreen and hit me right in the side of the head here.

Boom! And then exploded all over the inside of the aircraft. Oh my goodness. Yeah. I gotta say, even if the helicopter, even if the helicopter, that's gotta be distracting. Having the insides of a bird on the inside of your helicopter? Do we know that the bird did that because that because because that because because that because that because the the the the the the the the the the bird did the the the the we know that the bird did that because of the helicopter? Or if sometimes birds just do that. Birds just do that sometimes. Birds will just pop sometimes.

Maybe it ate some wedding rice. Yeah. Yeah! There's a nice little wedding down by the lake. Oh man I love eating a kilo of fun cooked ricecooked rice. The best day of my life. I guess my question is, was there potentially any pre-existing relationship between the waterfowl and the patient that they were transporting? Oh, good point. Maybe, maybe, you know, they, maybe this was... Come around for a second shot, you reckon. Yeah, injured and they were like, look, before they regain consciousness, I've got to put

a stop to this. I'm going to make sure he never wakes up and talks to the police. Now I know I'm a waterfowl and I can't get into a hospital, but this guy will be vulnerable when he's between hospitals. I think they're a waterfowl? What would they think that they are if they had a self-conception? I don't think they're a person? It might not have come up. Do Waterfowl dream that they're people?

I'm not saying that they think they're something else. You just don't think that they think they are? Well, what evidence do they is? I think I'd take your point, Theo. Do Waterfowl consider themselves within any kind of categorization of the birds that they are around? Oh, we don't mix with those grounds-dwelling guys. Or other kinds of birds? Fire type of birds, the try to thin try to think of two kinds of birds.

Yeah, yeah, the fire, wind, most, it's most of them. Most birds, yeah. Earth, which would be like, you know, ostrich and stuff and then... Oh yeah, yeah. Heartbird. Yeah. The humble heartbird. Well, I hope that answers your question. Yeah, we got way more types of birds. Great stuff. McCormick, the pilot of the flight, was hit by what he believes was a duck, X-Files theme

coming in. Doodle. McCormick said the details the details the details the details the details the details the details the details the details the details the details the details the the details the the the the the that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that. that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. the thi thi the the the the the the the thiole thiole the thiauuuauauauauadu. thiaught thiole that that ththeme coming in. Doododdl. McCormick said the details are fuzzy. There's got to be enough left in the helicopter. Atomized. Turn into a fucking bird-like vapor. Oh my goodness. But surely even if they get jibbed, the little beaks got to pop off and bounce somewhere.

You've got a beak in a couple of webbed feet there. We had to identify a by dental records, by which I mean, we looked at the beak because it was the only thing that was left. We got nothing here to idea him except beak and feet. Well, no teeth, so it might be a hen. I'm just looking into those little jagged bits on the beak. Knock me out for a little bit, I think, he said. I don't remember some of the information about what all happened.

I love Americans. I don't remember some of the information about what all happened. Whereas in Australia you'd probably say, I don't remember what happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Some of the information about what happened.

I don't have all of the data what pertains to what might have been the thing, what happened. You all. I remembered a crew member talking to me a little bit, telling me what we needed to do, and we did that. We were were able able able able able able to to to to to land to land to land to land to land to land to land to land to land to land to land to land to land to land to land to land to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me to me to me to me to me to me. to me. to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theto me a little bit, telling me what we needed to do, and we did that. We were able to land at the airport safely. Step one. A scolic was covered in blood and feathers, but thankfully wasn't injured by the incident.

However, the helicopter was another story. So he wasn't injured, so this bird came in through the window, hit him in the head and then exploded. So we, is this like, you know when you get a beer bottle and you hit the top with a hammer and the bottom pops off? Yeah. This is what happens? I do that several times a day, yes. Like, beak hit the pilot's head. And then the rest of the bird exploded out of its ass. It experienced violent cavitation at the rear of the bird. Which caused the pressure differential. Yes. The birdie went pop.

It caused the bird to evacuate most of itself from itself. I would probably not appreciate if I had just described the brief state of unconsciousness and probable concussion that I had, I would not appreciate then immediately afterwards being described as uninjured. If you get a concussion at work, you have been injured Yeah you get to get home. Oh that was weird time to land this bloodied helicopter. Don't know where I am what I'm doing. If you can't remember being injured did it really happen you know and he has for his guess mementowing the helicopter to safety. I guess I'm flying this helicopter you need to land. You need to land. And he has his guess. Just momentoing the helicopter to safety. I guess I'm flying this helicopter.

You need to land. Oh! This is describing the injuries sustained by the helicopter. Quote, this window had a great big hole in the middle of it, McCormick said. This aircraft was full of bird guts and feathers on broken glass. It's like Tom Waits' throat. McCormick has been flying since 2001, suspicious. Yeah, boy, his arms tired. Since September 12th. Is that a passion for flying?

That could be me. It doesn't seem so hard? Yeah. He joined Wings Air Rescue roughly a year ago. He said this was a freak accident. Yeah? Okay. I guess. Yeah, you don't have to say that. No one's like this was either intentional or perfectly normal. Yeah, I'm not getting up in a helicopter because I think a duck might pop. Yeah, duck might fire straight through the glass in front of me, hitting my head and rendering me briefly unconscious and I'm not willing to take that chance.

You guys remember when Fabio got hit by that goose? I sure do. I'll never forget. Neither will I. My goose is a big bird. Yeah. It really looked like somebody had put a ham in a pillowcase and swung it at his face, didn't it? Sure did.

And if you're under the thirty... Yeah, if you're under thirty, uh... Sort of, just imagine the... Just imagine the most beautiful man in the world. History's most beautiful man was hit the face while on a roller coaster? That's right. If you're under 30, please look up, former Italian model? It might still be Italian. Former Italian.

Former Italian and model. We got the surgery. Fabio. Assigned Italian and model. He got the surgery. Fabio. Assigned Italian at birth. And just drink in that for a while that was allegedly our conception of as attractive as a man could become or be born as I assume. I think Fabio came out looking like that. If you guys had to guess how old Fabio is now, what's your guess? Right now? 72. 63. He's 64 years old. He looks exactly like

Michael Bay. He looks like halfway between Michael Bay and Iggy Pop. Yeah. He does, doesn't he? He's got the youthful vitality of Michael Bay, but the leather of Iggy Pop. It's sad to me now that, you know, there's always so much information going on to the internet. It is all computers these days. And I think there's a lot of figures from our youth who were, you know, known for whatever. And now you kind of have to add, it's been long enough that I have to add young onto the end of the search term if I want to see what they looked like

when they were famous to me originally. No? That's sad. Can I read you a passage? This is from Fabio Lanzone's Wikipedia page under the subtitle, Goose Incident. I've never read the text of this before. On March 27th, 1999, an event occurred that became known as Lanzoni's goose incident. During a promotional event, Lanzoni was seated in the front row of the inaugural ride of the Apollo's chariot roller coaster at Bush Gardens, Williamsburg.

He was accompanied by more than 30 women dressed as Greek goddesses. What a life. That's baller. that's baller. Yeah. Once the ride ascended to 73 miles per hour, Lanzoni claims a flock of hundreds of geese flew by a one of the geese was sucked into the ride. Sucked into the ride?

That's like 120 Ks an hour, 110 Ks an hour. That's fucking nuts. Hundreds of geese, hundreds of kilometers an hour. Beautiful. That's a long established. That's 10,000 kilometer per hour gheat. That's right. Apparently sleeps in a hyperbaric chamber.

Good for him. That was always a joke. Oh, that's real. Oh, fuck, yeah. About Fabio, you mean? That's awesome. What the fuck is a hyperbolic chamber? It's like they're like hyperoxidtonated environments right or slightly high pressure or something?

What's a deal with them, Theo? Let me see, from Wikipedia. This podcast is get better and better. A sealable diving chamber closed bell or dry bell is a pressure vessel with hatches large enough for people to enter an exent compress breathing gas supply to raise the internal air pressure. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, and it says it's a dry bell. Yeah, it's the wet bell temperature that gets you. Yeah. Quick question, Ben, if you could have one made available to you, would you sleep in a hyperbolic chamber every night? Yeah, I actually think that would be really good for my sleep apnea if I did.

Oh, because there's an extra like oxygen availability, surely. And the pressure, that's what CPAP machines do, but I hate my CPAP machine, so I don't use it. It's no good. I don't want to sleep like a fucking robot would, because robots have you plugged into something when they sleep. And they're always snoring. Yeah, that's true. The program to snore. His secret is still looking good, besides beast mode in the gym and avoiding alcohol drugs and sweets, as he always has, is that he sleeps in a half-baric chamber. Quote, reverses the aging process, the Italian born star, whose real name is Fabio Lananzone, told the magazine. Cool. Yeah, I mean, I think he looks about 64.

Yeah, I think a 64-year-old man. I think a lot of people are allowed to say reverses the aging process without being held to account. And I think, yeah. I don't want to call him out. I want to call him in. Fabio, come on Bonifester. We have to tell you about aging and de-aging tech. We just need to tell you that if you had been sleeping in one of these things for 30 years, and also it was reversing the aging process, you would be a very small child.

If it was reversing the aging process, it like at a twotwo to one rate of your aging. Yes. Do you think when you guys picture reversing the aging process, like I know you do. I know you're sitting around thinking about the aging process and wishing you could reverse it like we all do. Do you imagine that you, I guess reversing the aging process doesn't necessarily imply reversing the process of growing, does it? Yeah, I don't think it would shrink back down to like, to like a kid and then a toddler and then a baby and then an embryo, you know? I think it's, it's only, it's only, it's only, it's, it's only, it's, it's only a, to, to, to like, to like, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the, the the the the the the the the the the the, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the baby and then an embryo, you know?

I think it's only, it's only reversing the effects of after your body starts like aging, deteriorating with age. You're at your peak at 35, and that's when the point where your body starts degrading. So I think it brings you back to being 35. Okay. My problem is I've got like no point at which I can return to in which like I was, I had vitality. Yes. I've never felt okay.

Yeah, I've never felt okay. But there has to be a time where you felt the least not okay. Yeah, I guess. Like as far as like being able to breathe to to to to to to to to to to to to the point, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the th. Like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the point not okay. Uh, yeah, I guess. Like as far as like being able to breathe normally and stuff. Yeah. I don't know. I think the point is we need to get five of your blood boy. Back to before I had gas stroke. Yeah. Like two days ago? Two days ago. Yeah. What if we could reverse that process?

Now we need to just get you all over Twitter inexplicably. This man has reversed his body clock by two days to before he had gastro. So, um, listeners of the show, if you have any way of getting in toubio, we would love to talk to Fabio and to talk to him about the hyperbac chamber that he sleeps in. Please make it really clear that it didn't come up as a result of talking about the goose incident. We won't bring up the goose incident. We won't when we talked to him. No. We would prefer it if you didn't say, well they were talking about, this is how you came up, they were talking about somebody getting struck at a high velocity by a waterfowl, and then that brings up some bad memories for you. Don't lead with that and also say to him, yeah, check out the show, but not the one that

just came out. Don't listen to that one. If right? Fuck. Jesus. Have some fucking sense. You know? So I trust we'll be hearing from Fabio soon. Yeah. It's not very common, McCormick said. Now we do have to look out for birds all of the time. And we do dodge birds once in a while, little barrel roll. We have hits, we have had some hit glass, different parts of the time and we do dodge birds once in a while, little barrel roll. We have hits, we have had some hit glass, different parts of the aircraft and have not had any issues, but to actually come through the windscreen, never experienced that. I feel like he's setting a very specific bar here. I think he's moving the goalposts.

It sounds like birds have hit the helicopter a lot. I was like, what the fuck you're talking about? I???? I, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the goalposts. It sounds like birds have hit the helicopter a lot. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? I remember the helicopter thing. We're talking about a bird smashing through the window of a helicopter and then exploding. Yeah, gotcha. Almost two weeks later, McCormick and his co-workers find the absurdity of the incident to be funny. And are even teasing the fellow pilot about his encounter with the duck. the duck. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, the duck. I, the duck. I, the duck. I, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was their, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I their, I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha, I was. I was tha, I'm, and tha, and tha, tha, tha, tha, tha'colic.a'ea'ea'ea'cockea'cockeluckea'cockeliphaugh. I'm tha, I was. I to be funny and are even teasing their fellow pilot about his encounter with the duck. Imagine the duck's widow reading this in the paper. They're laughing about it. I think it's nice to have like a funny jovial relationship with your

co-workers. I feel like if one of my co-workers had a goose or a duck smashed through a window at high speed and then nearly caused like a fatal aviation incident that covered them in bird blood, I wouldn't wait like a fortnight to be like here comes duck boy. How long are you waiting? I'd probably give it a year. Really? I think it a year. Really? Very reserved. It sounds like it could cause some complicated traumas to my mind.

The family of the patient who died because they had to turn this emergency medical flight around reading this in the paper. Oh man. That is actually quite strange though, don't comment on that at all. Oh, yeah. Well, that says to me... It says they were healed by the power of duck blood. That duck gave its life to save that guy. Doctors had no explanation. They are calling it a miracle. His liver's working again. New treatment for gout. Duck vapor. Duck vapor.

Pipe it into your hyperbac chamber. Yeah, it's like trying to reproduce the Goudaise. Was it the duck? Was it the helicopter? Was it the combination of the duck and the helicopter? I'm grateful. Super thankful, he said, because it definitely could have ended differently. I see a lot of the hand of God in how things played out. Now, steering the bird? I don't want to turn this into the fucking Richard Dawkins' atheism hour. I don't want that at all.

God tried to kill you with a duck, bro. Yeah, I'm glad this man can rationalize this in a sort of that God, the hand of God was there in intervening and saved him. That's fucking awesome. Love that for this man. Just, I don't see, and maybe this is why I don't have any religious convictions anymore, is because I don't see the hand of God in a bird smashing through the wind screen, and just putting its insides all over you and your helicopter and nearly killing you and someone who was trying to get to a hospital. It would be different if he was like, you know, the bird smashed through here and we had to like divert to a different airport and then we found out later on that the airport we were going to had to be closed down because of a big blizzard we wouldn't have made it

you know. Yeah, maybe a suicidal duck. Yeah, that would maybe make a little more sense or like Theo said, you know, the duck gets vaporized and cures. A rare disease in the patient in the back from inhaling duck blood mist. You know, sure, I get a bit more. When the story is, the duck went through the windshield, I got clocked, the duck died, and then that's kind of the end of the story. My workmates make fun of me now. Don't kind of know, I don't really get what God was changing the course of. I think he popped the duck.

I think the duck was popped by God. I see a lot of the hand of God in how he popped that duck. Saved me by popping that duck. I mean, I'm sure it happened, happy for this man. It's good, good on you. Great. What are they putting in these ducks? Yeah.

These days? Probably vapes. Wednesday was McCormick's first day back to work since the incident. He said, he's excited to be back in to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to the the the the to the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the thoompopping. thoomp. their poppopping. their poppopping. their poppopping. their poppopping. their poppopping. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thoppoppoppoppopp. thopp. thoomp. thoomp. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thoome. tipe. tipe. tipe. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip.oomorrow. tip. tip. He said he's excited to be back in the sky, continuing to save lives if that life that we talked about before God saved, and will hopefully avoid any birds. Yeah, I hope that for all pilots. That's my wish for you, pilots. Pilots, if you're listening to this, my wish for you, not just a Christmas wish, but

an always wish is that you avoid all birds. You can have this wish all year round. That's the Pilots Pledge prayer. And you can do the Pilots Pledge prayer at any time throughout your day in your life. Just say, hey, pilots, avoid those birds. I'm thinking about you while you're up there. I also do the birds pledge, which is birds avoid those aircraft, and then it's kind of, it's working for everybody, you know?

The bird blessing of the pirates, pilots throw a pledge. The pirates. That's right. Oh, when I'm flying a helicopter and a duck comes blasting through the windshield, striking me in the side of the head, temporarily knocking me unconscious and killing itself in the process, that's the one thing I didn't want to happen. It's time for the one thing we didn't want to happen. This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. It's time for the one thing we didn't want to happen. This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. This is from W-O-O-D in Michigan, the wood.

The woo-hoo'd. Michigan businesses may have sold rabid skunks, state warns. Oops. Oops. Skunks, state warns. Oops, oopsie-doopsie. Skunks purchased from certain Michigan sellers could have been exposed to rabies, the state says. Now this is a little, Americans probably won't get why this is funny to us. Yeah, because there's a little cultural difference here. You wouldn't, you wouldn't buy a skuck. No. We go to the subway restaurant and there's no little glass cabinet there to buy a skunk sales. You wouldn't buy a skug. No. We go to the subway restaurant and there's no

little glass cabinet there to buy a skunk from. Yeah, that's right. If you need a skug from Subway. Yeah, that was on the bonus episode. I was on the bonus episode. Check out the bonus episode for a joke that's not going to land over there either. Yeah, and I think in retrospect you can get little, those little bags of chips at the, these ones here I think as well. I'm not gonna go check. I just wouldn't get them, because I'm eating a subway sandwich. You wouldn't like some potato chips with your subway sandwich?

I'm getting a foot long because I'm not a baby. But then also that's an awful lot of sandwich.. I th. I th. What's on your what's on your subway order? I think I've ordered subway like once in last 10 years. I think I got a, what's the one with the three meats? The Italian BMT? Oh yeah, yeah. I'm all of that. Yeah, you get a smoked, smoked cheddar on that. I don't know. I don't know. I can never never the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I can't get th. I can't get th. I can't get th. I can't get the th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. Get th. Get a the the th. Get a th. Get a th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've the the the the the th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've thin. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've th. I've thin. I've th. I've th. I've Chipotle sauce on there. What I'm saying is you sound very confident about whether or not they will have chips for a man who's ordered subway once in the last 10 years. Oh, I work two doors up from a subway so I've got eyes on a subway. I'm basically monitoring the situation.

So they are for the first time, so that subway has been next to the bar for, I mean, like 10 years or something. There's a subway next to your bar? Well, it's two doors over, but yeah. And yesterday, completely out of the blue, they must have got like a catering order wrong or something, or someone didn't pick one up and they just dropped over two enormous boxes full of sandwiches. Like, hey, do you guys thii. I ate a shitload of fucking subway yesterday. Hell yeah. Yeah, it's great. Gave them to customers. Hey, do you want some complimentary subway with your beer? Yeah?

Who's saying no? Free sandwich with the beer. We cannot work out the insurance to make this, uh, okay if something goes wrong with this subway. Just FYI. Don't sue us if you get sick from eating the subway. The warning applies to skunks purchased in the last six months from countryside feather farm slash roses skunks in Attica or through a Chesterfield township slash new Baltimore seller linked to roses, the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services said Wednesday.

Can you just hit me with the first fragment of that sentence please? The warning applies to skunks purchased in the last six months from countryside feather farm slash roses skunks in Attica. Theo, imagine dipping into your filing cabinet and trying to find the date on your skunk pursion receive. Oh what batch code do I have on the skunk? Lifting up its tail. Oh, can you believe it? It was fucking 12 months one week ago.

Warranty on this skunk is void. This is great. The business provides domesticated skunks to those looking for pets, according to its Facebook page. Looking for a pet? Why don't consider a domesticated skunk? There is someone in the discord who has a skunk, right? Yeah, I mean, I've seen that skunk. That would rock. Yeah, it would rule. They look cuddly. Yeah.

It's not natural. Friendly little guys. No, it's not. From nature. And do they, do they typically fix them? I can't imagine that they would leave to express that gland outside so it doesn't do it inside. Americans also declaw their cats as a matter of course. I reckon that that stink glands coming out. Oh, that can't be good for him. Declorium? No, the stink thing. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know a skunk purchased from the business tested positive for rabies November 29th according to MDHS. What was its behavior. How did they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the theat theat theat theat theat theat the the theat the positive for rabies November 29th, according to

MD-Double-H-S. What was its behavior? How did they know to test it? I want to know the signs of the rabbit's skunk, yeah. Same as all of them. A little bit of froth, weird, confused, agitated behavior. Like an old person who didn't get served fast enough for cafe. serve fast enough for cafe. Damn.

Yeah. Social commentary. Topical. Topical. Topical. Officials say they don't know exactly how or when it was infected, Brue, but a preliminary investigation indicates rehabilitated wild skunks could have been co-mingled with bread and captive skunks at the new Baltimore site.

To the mix and their skunks. Yes. Yeah, they're wild skunks and their domesticated skunks at the new Baltimore site. To the mix and their skunks? Yes. Yeah, they're wild skunks and their domesticated skunks. He's going to scooping up loose skunks and putting them in with the good ones. Hey, let's top up the skunks that we have indoors with these outdoors skunks. Yeah, they may not be the best quality, but these skunks were free, so it's all profit. MD double HS says it has been working to reach buyers based on facility records and department

of natural resources permits, but it is notifying the public because rabies is fatal to humans and animals who become ill. Even if a skunk is vaccinated against rabies, it could still be at risk, according to MDHS. Yeah. The department urges owners to have skunks tested to to to to to tested to the tex to the to the tex the the the tex ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths thiqs ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths ths their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their ths their ths ths ths they is they's ths thii. I thousa. I is thousand te te. Ia. Ia. I've teauu.m. D. M.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D. M.D. th. M could still be at risk, according to MDHS. Yeah. The department urges owners to have skunks tested for rabies. Now what do we know about the rabies test from the many times we've discussed? If you want your skunk tested for rabies, they've got to take its little brain. They have to centrifuge its brain. They have to kill the things th th th th th th th th th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. They th. th. th. th. they th. they they thi. they they they they thi. they they they they they they thi. thi. they they they they they their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. their. Yeah. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their thi. their thi. thuu. thu. thu. te. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. Department tea. Department their their their brain out of its little head. They have to centrifuge its brain.

Yeah. They have to kill the thing. Which they typically don't come back from. Yes. So, like, I don't think it's fair to say the department is urging owners to have skunk tested for rabies. They're urging them to have their skunk put down. Yeah. And allow their their their their their their their their their their their skunk put down. Yeah. Yes. And allow someone else to test for rabies.

The thing at the end of the movie Hannibal, where Ray Leodda gets the top half of his skull popped off, and then Hannibal feeds him some of his own skull. First of all, that's an act of fiction. I don't think it works in real life. Second of all, that was on a person. Yes. Skunks are different. That is true. It's so true. Maybe there is a pre-death rabies test frannels, but if so, an awful lot of raccoons have been put down that didn't need to die. Yeah.

Do you want the one where we have to kill it or the other one we don't? I don't know. Just do whatever it feels right. They both cost the same. I don't have all day. I can't be around. I actually have some executive dysfunction and some decision fatigue, so I'm going to let you choose. One more thing is just going to ruin my day. Quote, if you have purchased one of these skunks from these facilities in the last six months, one of your

many skunk purchases was from one of these facilities, we are urging you to contact your veterinarian to have the animal examined. If we, if you have interacted with the skunk from these facilities, we recommend you contact your health care provider or local health department about possible rabies exposure, Dr. Natasha Bagdessarian, Chief Medical Executive for the State said in release. Quote, it can take months for rabies to show up in skunks. If the skunk you purchased is showing signs of illness or has died, please contact your veterinarian and health care provider immediately, as you may be at risk for rabies in required treatment. See, you might, you don't want to jump on it too soon because you might still have months of use left in this skunk.

That's right. What a grim thing to say. If you are the owner of a dead skunk, you might have a fatal disease. For humans who have potentially been exposed to rabies, treatment is available to prevent infection according to MD-DWHS. In animals, initial rabies symptoms include fever, lethargy, vomiting, minimal appetite. The disease can progress within days to weakness, difficulty walking, seizures, paralysis, excess saliva, difficulty swallowing, strange behavior and aggression, MDWHS says. Just keep a keeping out for those secondary symptoms, Theo, because based on the first set, you may have rabies. Hmm.

In humans, my brain, brain blended. In humans, early symptoms include fever, headache, weakness, and discomfort. Yes, yes. Yes. Have you been, you've not been comfortable for a while? No. Uh, rabies can then progress to anxiety. Uh-huh. Difficulty sleeping. Yeah. Confusion.

Huh. Huh. Yeah, confusion Hallucinations Uh Agitation I'm definitely agitated a lot of the time Oh, get into a Dabee hi-fi and see what happens. Yeah Difficulty swallowing. No, you don't have to have all of the signs. No, and fear of water Oh, oh Yeah. So if you randomly develop hydrophobia. Yeah, they stop drinking, don't they? Such a strange little touch. Oh, it's not like you won't get

on boats. Yeah, he doesn't have the thing from the Truman show. Oh, Truman had rabies this whole time. We have to have him put down. That's the twist of the movie. He seemed like an ordinary guy, but he has rabies. He has rabies. Never finished it. Interesting film though.

What if a guy had neighbors? Yeah, it all seems normal, but it turns out it's a very elaborate rabies. As general rules to protect against rabies MD DHS recommends avoiding contact with wildlife reporting sick wildlife to the DNR seeking medical attention if you are bitten or scratched, getting animals vaccinated against rabies and contacting a veterinarian if your pet is bitten or scratched. Buntavista recommends not not like buying a skunk from a shop. Don't get a roadside skunk.

That's like weird. That's like an odd thing to do. And plus if you got the skunk, you're going to be kissing it on the mouth. Yes. Oh my god, we're going to... So it's basically a one-way ticket. What else are you going to do? You're not going to not kiss your skunk? Come over here, Pepepe. On his wet little nose? Yeah, I don't do too. Pep, come here. You'd name yours after a... After a sex pest?

No, I'm naming him after the racist frog. I don't think the frog's racist. No, the frog beloved by racists. Not racist himself, but beloved by racists. Yeah. I'm going to call my skunk. I don't know, probably just like a regular man name, because that's the funniest thing to call an animal. Doug. Doug, come over here for a smooch. Oh, I love you, Doug. You're not stinky, you're not stinky, but you're a stinky. Come here. Who wants his gland expressed? I'm doing this at the supermarket while he's in the little, like, the child area.

Pupus. I'm gonna get you some of these chocolate cookies. Into the waste produce pin. Nike, when I get you grapes, don't you, Doug? It's not illegal to take one or two grapes for your skunk. Like they're the grapes, th g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g ga. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I' thi. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I's thi. take one or two grapes for your skunk. Like they're not going to call security on you. You can taste the grapes and give one to Doug, your skunk. Well, I'm buying it for him. I have to know if he likes them or not. I'm not going to buy a whole kilo of grapes if Doug isn't going to love the grapes. Doug loves a grape with a good snap to the skin I say as security leads me out of the store. No Doug, don't get violent.

I'm sorry, he's very protective. You're going to have to get your hands on me. Well, that was probably an episode of the podcast, Buntavista. Thank you so much for joining us. Remember, send this episode to your friends that would otherwise find the other introsing. This is the only way they're going to get into it.

Because right now this podcast is too abstract, too obtuse, too law-dense for the average person to get into it, so please. Also, if you could send the podcast to any of your friends that may know Fabio, but I must insist that you pass along the instructions that we gave earlier in the episode, do not let the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the theee an theeeeeeeeeee theeeeeee that's that's that that's that that that that's that that's the instructions that we gave earlier in the episode. Do not let him listen to this one. Also do not bring it up in the context of him being hidden in the face with the bird. That's right. Just sort of make it like flow naturally from the conversation. Yeah, wait for an opportune time.

Just like maybe you're talking about my favorite Australian podcast. You might enjoy it. Hey. You might even. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. oh, ha ha. Sorry, I was just thinking about my favorite Australian podcast. You might enjoy it. Hey, you might even enjoy talking to you. Yeah. Book, let's see. I can't figure out. Oh! What? Ha! Ha!