Boonta Vista - EPISODE 332: Cucked on CoD (with Patrick Gill)

Episode Date: February 4, 2024

Theo, Lucy and Andrew are joined by Polygon's Patrick Gill to discuss epic gamer relationship problems, the erotic nature of the Dutch trash can, the unquenchable cola thirst of the British donkey and more! ****** It's Freemium Freebruary! We generously unlock our bonus episodes for the shortest month of the year so you can get a taste of the good life. Subscribe if you like it, maybe? *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Almost on the Buntavista Support Group for Incredible Brave Soldiers. I know some of you are still taking your seats. Some of you are nervous. You know it's your first time. Some of you are back there at the coffee still. I know some of you are still taking your seats. Some of you are nervous. You know, it's your first time. Some of you are back there at the coffee still, and please go easy on the coffee. Right up front, I always like to say, you are not IBS sufferers.

You're not IBS survivors. You are IBS warriors. You are outstanding captains of leaky ships, sailing upon uncertain, turbine waters. You are not the shipwreck. You can rise above the siren call of a quarter block of Bree left out since family brunch. Please note that the toilets today run on the Disney World Ride Q-Cue system. QR codes for bookings are available in the package under your seat.

And while we're on the topic, you'll also find under your seat, a small bottle of Ben Fiber prebiotic fiber that the GlaxoSmith Kline Corporation has GlaxoSmith kindly donated to our group today. Thank you also to the Cinnamon Park Masonic Center for hosting us today in this historic and most importantly well ventilated venue. Most of you know me,, but for those new to us, I am Theo. Many are probably bored of hearing my story by now, but just so that you know, I've been down. I've been down the dark, stinky alleyways in the bad town, bad part of Jungtown. For the last few years, I've actually suffered constipation, which we don't talk about so often in here. And I think we need to. We need visibility. I know there's a few of my blocked boys out there in the audience. I've felt the accusatory stare of a boss as I take my Nintendo switch

to the work shitter for some scant joy as I heave and cry and often fail to avoid my bowels. But you folks know you ain't getting any work done if you've got a turd coiled up inside you as big as the anaconda from the movie Anaconda. But enough about me. I'd like to invite back, as always, the Queen of IBS, the Duchess of Dookie, it's my good friend, Lucy. Lucy, how are you feeling today? Oh, I have a sore tummy. What about you?

Sorta. Yeah, we've got sore tubbies here. We've got the sortum. Lucy, have you resisted the call of like half a pint of ice cream in the weirs at the night? Well, the thing is we're all like brave warriors, right? Like it doesn't matter what you eat, you know? It's going to happen. So enjoy yourself. That's my philosophy.

As long as we fight, yeah. Yeah, as long as we fight here on the battlefield. Yeah, it's kind of like the Som, yeah. We've got a new member today who has very firmly offered to talk to us. I invite to the stage Brother Andrew. Now Andrew, you tell us you have a mild lactose intolerance. Do you want to share your story of survival? Thank you brother Theo. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Many years, I didn't know what ailed me, you know?

I stumbled through life from one toilet to the next, wondering, why me? Why Lord? You know? Then one day, I found out about lactose-free milk. I thought it was the caffeine. I was wrong. It was the milk, and all that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that milk. I thought it was the caffeine. I was wrong. It was the milk and all that caffeine. And also the caffeine. It's important to note that it is also the caffeine. It's definitely the caffeine.

But you should be asking yourself if it's all the milk. Because when 10 o'clock hits and you grip your Nintendo switch ti. And you scurry off to the bathroom. You'll know. You'll know. But I'm playing so much. Will I stop drinking a lot of caffeine with milk in it? No. I'd rather die on my toilet than live on my knees. Me, me, the brother. Here's to that.

Raising my large cup of cold brew. I'm just scanning the QR's code now. Get in early on that queue. Pre-emptive. And welcoming back, a returning guest, one of our absolute favorites, an international speaker on all things sore tummy related, and also probably some gaming videos

with like millions of views, switch streaming, yada yada, yada. Gidda, Patrick. G gonna keep things PG-rated on to to to the to the to the th on th on th on th on th on th on th on th on th on tho-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s, th-s, th-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a, th-a, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th-s, th-s, th-s, th-s, tm. tm. tm. tm. tm. tm. tm. tm. tm. tm. tm. tm. tm. tm. tm. tm. tm. tm. Gooday, Patrick. Gonna keep things PG-rated on the channel today. Yes. Jim Bankhoff of the Vox Media Corporation will be watching and reviewing every single sentence I say on this podcast. And it'll be a part of my evaluation this year. Um, is... I was, as we're starting this conversation about IBS and stuff I was like

I should tell them about the time I pooped a bunch of blood and I was like wait I did that last time I did that first time I met these people as I told them I fill the toilet with blood it was like 12 minutes into the episode it was like 12 minutes into the episode I can get some more background there if you like. I wasn't here though, so dark blood, like blood. Oh, dark red blood, yeah. Oh, that's the bad color.

Is that right? Yeah, yeah, well, it was specifically ischemic colitis, which is the kind 80-year-olds get. Oh, yeah. Just, it's like the body saying you've been around for long enough, like, we don't want to be here anymore. Yeah, it's not good when the doctor goes, this shouldn't be happening to you. Yeah. Looks at you.

You've got the colon of an 80-year-old. You have Benjamin Buttons colon. Well, I think I might have though, because it's just been getting better. Oh. But before then, like... You are colonically Benjamin Buttoning. Years before then, I had really bad constipation problems because for some reason I was afraid of pooping. Oh.

It's understandable. I'd go to, I went to scout camp once, I think when I was like 12, and I believe I did not shit for an entire week because I was so scared of going to the bathroom. Like generally, or was that an out of the house problem? Was that like a, you're around people you don't know? It was a cyclical thing, right? But at home, the fear of pain, of pooping would stop me from wanting to poop. Yes. So then, yes. Pooping would become much more painful.

Speak your truth. It sounds like me and the dentist. Mmm. Yeah. Ooh, I don't want to go. What if I just don't go? And then my teeth just literally falling out of my head. the teeth. their takes a bunch of valium to get completely zooted out of his mind and then show up the dentist only to be told his appointment is actually tomorrow and he's just walking around the balls of camera fucking stoned out of his gourd. Full zombie mode. Thinking to myself, my wife will be back to pick me up in an hour. She was floating around. She will save me.

Yeah. That was a good day. Yeah. Yeah, 100% hapens. Yeah, 100% hapards. Yeah. It's not good at times or dates or taking drugs. I'm not. My wife said yesterday that it's like my most my most crunchy

granola hippie-ish feature is that I just kind of feel time, you know. Don't. Just like feel it out. I really know. Just ADHD coded it's okay. Not not real absolute time lover. No, no. I'll find out about it when I need to know or at some point afterwards. It's kind of the vibe of it. Yeah. Yeah. Look, none of us are perfect, you know, we all get into strange situation sometimes and I'm led to believe that it happens more often than you would think in the Netherlands. It's time for Dutch Watch. It's time for Dutchwatch. Hey, everybody. I'm from Holland. Isn't that beer?

Beer, beer, theo. This is a very thematically appropriate story for us, from the NL Times. tocknell. Firefighters rescue man stuck upside down in rotted him underground garbage container. How to get there? Now, you think to yourself, that's embarrassing. You know, whoops today.

That is embarrassing. Let me give you at least one more detail. It's got to be some part of like a really racist holiday tradition, right? Oh, you know about the Dutch. Oh, you know about the Dutch. A man ended up in a bizarre situation in Rotterdam last night. He got stuck upside down in the lid of an underground garbage container, with his legs and feet dangling out and the rest of him in the bin. The man's shoes had come off and his jeans were around his ankles. Hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. Step brother. Are you stuck? Yeah. I'm stuck in an underground garbage container. Oh boy. Firefighters have come to rescue him. Yeah, like, explaining that one. Yeah, like you get stuck, but you don't want it to be a garbage container,

and you certainly don't want your pants to fall down while like horns. H.A.I.FF plays. You think his pants just comically fallen. Absolutely. He was already in the bin. Yeah, okay. Has to have. Oh, I'm wriggling around and I can't get out. I'm Winnie. That's that's real Winnie the Pooing. That is Jim you and Winnie the pooing. He gets stuck in the hole with shirt on, bare ass, wiggling around the other side. Can't get out. Is this just like a skip bin?

What's an underground garbage container? Yeah, that's what I'm trying to figure out. Is that a thing that they only have in the Netherlands? Hey, while we're talking about things we only have in the Netherlands, I've seen this video video video video video video video video video video video video video video video Twitter, which has been going around like our discord and stuff, a whole shitload about Americans now just getting the technology to like lift up a street side garbage bin and with the truck arm and like lifted into the back of it. I also saw other Americans being like, oh, we've had that for ages. Yeah, that's been around since like the 80s I think. Okay, all right, because I thought this was like, new technology to you guys., to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the to to the to the to to the to their to their to their their their their to their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. A. Americans. A. A. Americans. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. tode. today, today, toge. A. A. A. A. A. today, today, th. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A's been around since like the 80s I think. Okay, all right, because I thought this was like, I thought this was like new technology to you guys.

Same and gone a little insane here, but you guys got those arms. You could, you've been... Did they come up with like a better way of doing it? Like, I don't think so. The way I'm picturing it, it just picks it around really? It just, yeah okay all right I've got eyes on this bin now what is this now you would think when we say underground bin I've put a link in the chat there in the window yeah yeah oh you'd think I'm going down into the underground parking of a building and that's where they've got sure right oh it's like a garbage shoot but like outside yeah Yeah but the whole garbage chamber is like down under the ground. That is so scary. Yeah when

they empty it out they they slide the whole thing up out of there. Oh so maybe some bullies put him in that bin. That's a little newspaper disposal kind of. Yeah. You know the little newspaper stand or something on the side of there, right? You open it up. Put your penny in. Jump in. Uh, yep, you open the door, you wriggling. So, so we were all picturing this guy like stuck in a garage or something. No, he's nude out on the street. He's nude us out on ass out on. He's nude ass out on his ankles. Riggling around. Help, help.

He's been put there by mean jokes. That's what I'm... Stupid little flatboats on the canals pointing at him. If you greased me up, I'd get out easier. Two first responders, each grabbed and pulled a leg, while three firefighters pushed the man's head and shoulders in the right direction through a maintenance door. So they've got three people underground? So did they just take him out of the bottom?

It sounds like, it sounds like, because as you can see from the diagram that I've shared, for anybody listening, this is an audio format, you will not be able to see what I'm describing. When the whole thing comes out of the ground, the container itself is quite large and the bottom opens up, much like the man with his jeans around his ankles. I'm guessing they've had some people climb into the bottom of it maybe and I like kind of trying to straighten out his shoulders while two other guys Yank on his legs. Okay. Pushed his head and shoulders in the right direction. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Makes sense. This is all the while. I just don't think the American mind can comprehend this level of infrastructure.

Like I think the crazy thing here is supposed to be the guy who fell into the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th the the trash the the trash the the th.. trash the the the the trash th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thrash. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. thr. I. thrash. I. te. I. te. I try. I the. I'm. I'm thin. I'm thi. I've they thi. I've ththink the crazy thing here is supposed to be the guy who fell into the trash can, but like, looking at a trash removal system this sophisticated is blown my mind. Yeah, the little thing on the top is like the tip of the iceberg, and then there's this big garbage compartment. There's a big iceberg of garbage. Yeah, and they pick the whole thing up up up up up up up up whole thing up out of the road and they like empty it into the garbage truck. It's fantastic. And the way he's picking it up is the way you would like pick up a little like treat and then, like drop into your mouth. Like if you're like a job of the hut and the th. the the the th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. the th. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. the th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. the the thi. thi. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. of dangled over your mouth and you drop it in like it's doing that.

It's all non-coded yeah. Oh and so the the chamber that you put your garbage into it's a bit like an Australian post office box where the parcel, the parcel draw in an Australian post office box where you like lift the thing up and then there's just a chamber, you place your thing into it and as you close the door it rotates and drops your parcel into the box so you can't reach into the box. They're doing a similar thing with their garbage here and apparently stops rats and such getting into the garbage and you can obviously get a lot more in there. Makes a sense. Gar more in there. Makes a lot of sense.

Garbage in garbage can. Doesn't keep guys out though, I guess. No. Did he say how he got in there? And also how his pants got off. Well, that to get him out first. So we've got five firefighters yanking on this fella, and I bet they all had rippling

muscles. All the while other police officers and firefighters shouted encouragement. This is so hard. Get him. Hope this doesn't awaken anything. In the Alexander district, firefighters were sent to the scene about 1040 p.m. and paramedics were asked to remain on standby in case the man need to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. All. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Alexander District, firefighters were sent to the scene about 1040 p.m. and paramedics were asked to remain on standby in case the man needed medical assistance. Quote, just give it a good pull, one firefighter told the others. Come on, let's go! another yelled. Yeah, I've got him. One yelled. Why are they got this much detail in here? About exactly what they were all shouting out. And weirdly though, it's being translated as well.

So it's had to have survived like one, one cycle to end up as editorialized as it is here. Then, as others gave encouragement, he tugged the man out from the bin. Let's stop saying like give it a pool and tug maybe I don't know. They yanked him. They jerked that man free. It took over half an hour for the emergency services to free the man from his predicament. Once he was right side up again and his pants were back where they belonged, debatable, the man told the emergency services that his bag with clothes and his house keys had fallen into the container, he got stuck trying to get them out. You know how you accidentally put your luggage down the garbage bin?

I have absolutely put a set of keys into the garbage. I've thrown my keys in the trash before. Yeah, I've had to get a locksmith. Yeah, I just threw them in the bin. Yeah, I've had to go down there. I went after them. It's like, oh, my keys immediately loosening my belt and I'm buckled. Just make sure I can get right in here. I'll get real slippery for this.

It's for flexibility. The fire brigade found the bag, but it did not contain any keys. Hmm. The mystery deepens. I wonder how many times this guy's gotten stuck. He had his story ready to go. Oh, my keys I doubt, yeah, yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I th. I th. I th. I can't. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I can th th. I th. I th. I this this this this this this th. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the, I the the the the the thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I the. I th gotten stuck. He had his story ready to go. Oh, my keys, I doubt, yeah, again. That story we were in the other week about it was like an old French guy or something who kept going into restaurants,

running up a huge tab, buying drinks for everybody else, and then he would say, ah, I'm having a stroke call an ambulance. And they were like, this is the 167th time we have asked this man to stop doing this. Maybe this guy is on a similar deal. The unfortunate man couldn't get into his home, so his neighbor took him to his family. The man was physically unharmed by his ordeal. Hmm. Psychically, however. Mentally, probably. I would be. I think I'd be working through that one for a while.

Yeah. But remember with the time you got stuck faced out in the garbage shoot and your ass was out and then five men had to pull you out while a whole bunch of other people watched you again. Churned little butts out. Yeah, sorry about that. bunch of other people watched you again. Surround and cheer, the Australian podcast talked about it. Yeah, sorry about that. Whole neighborhood came out to watch. My goodness.

That's a bad day, you think? Yeah. Okay. Or a regular, it sounds pretty. Depends how you look at it. It depends how idiots. It depends what he wanted to get out of it, I suppose. But for the rest of it, falling into a bin,

having your ass stuck up in the air wriggling around while all the neighbors look, It's a bad day and a bad sign. And we cover some other bad signs in the segment known as Omens and portents. You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn his fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon. And you shall know that God is God.

And bow down to his will. This comes to us from KPNX in Arizona, the Penix. Box of Human Ashes found on Arizona Walking Trail, Sheriff investigating. This is easier to me. Yeah, somebody like stopped to tie their shoe on the way up to scatter some ashes. Poof. Then, up. Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah, I thought you were implying that they just turned their shoe on the way up to scatter some ashes? Poof. And then, up. Oh, yeah, sorry.

Yeah, I thought you were implying that they just turned to ashes. No, yeah, somebody was scattering some ashes and they ex-tended to left the box behind. They did the whip. He was so mad when you finally. Down to the bottom if you're, like, I don't know. If you asked somebody to scatter you, and that's the verb used for what you wanted to have done to your remains, I don't think you have the right to get mad about where you actually

end up. That's true. I would be mad if someone got me to do like a three-hour hike to a peak, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, to-a, to-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s, th-s, thi-a-s, thi-a-a-a-a-a-s, thi-a-s, thi-s, thi-s, to-s, to-s, like, like, like, like, like, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to-s, to-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thooooooomooomoombushe, tho, thooooomoomoanananananan, and to-s, to do like a three hour hike to a peak somewhere you know you're sweating I'm all chafed because I wore the wrong stuff very much I'm in jeans you know and then we get up the top and that person starts kind of patting their pockets oh oh you guys are gonna believe this oh oh oh you guys I don't want to go back down and go back up again. Like let's have the ceremony. And then let's tip grandma just on the side of the path.

When we find her again. There's a Burger King on the way back from the mountain. They got good bathrooms there. Flush. I think when you see the box on the way back down, someone just takes takes takes takes takes to to to to to to the to to the to the to the to be the to be the to be to be the the to be the to be the the the the to be the to be the the the way back down, someone just takes a running kick at it. Dispensed. Also box and not like, fucking, what are you, you normally have it in a, we can't all afford an urn, you know. What's an urn? I was just thinking, dead vase. Yeah. The ashes scattering that I have been witness to have been like a cardboard boxes, yeah. You can just get thinking, dead vase. Yeah. The ashes scattering that I have been witned to have been like a little cardboard boxes. Yeah.

Yeah, they do a little box. You can get a nice wooden box that you'd like you'd use for cigars or something. Oh, okay. Or you can get just little cardboard box. I guess an urns for tea. Well, because if you're scattering the ashes, what are you going to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do the to do the to do the to do the to do the the the the the the thoes, thoes, the the the thoes, thoomease a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. the, the, the, the, thease thease thease a thease a theaugheaseasea. thea. theaughea thea thea. thea. theauxea. thea. thea. thea. are you gonna do with the urn after that? What are you gonna do that urn? Yeah. Smash it. I'm gonna do a Greek restaurant. Take a long kick at it. Oh, mum loved Greek food, plan.

The Cochise County Sheriff's Office is attempting to find the relatives of a deceased person. After a resident found their cremated remains on a walking trail. I'm taking that home that home that home that home that home that home that home that home that home. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's that. It's their their their their their their their their their g. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna their g. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm g. I'm g. I'm g. I'm g. I I'm. I I I'm. I I I I I'm. I I. I. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. I'm gonna. G. G. I'm gonna th. G. G. I'm gonna th. G. G. G. G. G. G. I'm gonna th. G. G. I'm the the the the the the found their cremated remains on a walking trail. I'm taking that home, personally. Like, it's a good fire. To do what? Yeah. Just, you know, pop it in something? Just pop it in some.

the tree? Just pop it in a dish? Like in a meal? the tree. I just keep you from. I found a guy. This is my grandma. This is someone. This is the grandma that I've got. This is a direct quote from the article.

The box of cremains. Mm-hmm. Do we call it now? I have not heard that on jeopardy the other day. I learned that like two days ago. Okay. The box of... Is it settled in America, Pat?

You guys got too much to do that you can't say cremated remains? Time for that shit. Yeah, we're turning and burn over. Have you read anything about our health care system? Yeah, uh, you know, it doesn't strike me as unusual that they've called them cremains. Okay. It does sort of have a trendy sort of cronut vibe to it now that's a bit cronite. I'll say for the record I love a portmanteau. Like it it scratches a nice part of my brain. I'm not walking around saying a sick feeling. Hmm. The box of cranes was discovered It scratches a nice part of my brain. I'm not walking around saying crone up a lot.

Hmm. The box of cremains was discovered on the afternoon of January 24th near Milepost 7 of Charleston you know the one which extends from Sierra Vista to Tombstone. What a film. According to a label on the box, the cremains belonged to an individual named Anne Kringle, who died in November 2012 and was cremated at a facility in Murietta, California. Right, that's pretty weird. That's a long time between being cremated and your box getting lost.

It's pretty strange. So people sitting around. Yeah, maybe this one thing. Doing a little Marie condo. Does not spot on joy. Anne's remains. Miss Kringle, it is not clear how the box ended up in a rural part of southern Arizona. Yeah, that's pretty far away, right?

Ah. From California? No. I guess that's not like, in terms of, again, it's a big fucking country. That's pretty far away, right? Oh. From California? No? I guess that's not out. I mean, in terms of, again, it's a big fucking country. It's, it's, what, maybe four or five hours drive? Okay. So the box didn't drive itself there.

It didn't drive itself. Yeah, where did they come from in California? I'll map this out for us. Uh, Murietta? Murrieta? Marietta? Well, it was cremated in there and found, uh, let's say near Sierra Vista, Arizona. So we know that the body has at least been to Murrieta. And we're assuming that we're getting a cremation done near where we live, right?

Or where the deceased lived. Yeah, I would assume this much. All right, boy, that, you know, that is about a 10-hour drive. Oh. Hmm. What you're doing with them ashes? Hmm. I guess we'll never know.

I guess we'll never know. . Interesting. I guess we'll never know. All kinds of mysterious unanswered questions. But hey, would you guys like to hear a question, get answered? We do that on our segment. Paging Dr. Lucy. It's time for Paging Dr. Lucy. If you find that you are having a little relationship trouble, just to pick up your telephone and dial it on the double. You call one, eight hundred, three, one, seven, five one, five, now your page and

I couldn't see. What you got for us, Lucy? So I went this morning, I was just browsing R slash Relationships Over 35. It's my personal new favorite. I thought I just searched the word video games in there, just sort of see what came up. So... I think the temperature of healthy stuff. I just thought I'd see what was going on. So this is from relationships over 35, 39 male, 40 female wife said I love you to a gaming friend. What should I do? My wife plays Call of Duty and have a lot of guy friends she plays with on there. However, the other night.

It can get very intense I think. Yeah on the battlefield. You never know when love will strike on the battlefield is as well. That's so true. Which call of duty? I need to know. However, the other night I caught her telling one of them about a situation we were going through. She was referring to me as her husband, etc. And then at the end of it, she said to him, thank you for letting me cry, I love you, have a good night. This person lives states away, etc. Am I overthinking this or is this something I should be truly concerned about? You need to be extremely concerned if your life is getting therapy in war zone. Talking about your marriage issues? Well, you did talk about the medical insurance situation over there, so it's sort of teletherapy.

That's true, yeah. Yeah. Oh, if your wife is more comfortable crying it out and discussing her true issues with, with, I play a lot of Fuller Judy online and I would say like 80% of the voices I hear are literal children. Like they're maybe eight year olds. Yeah. I've said before many times, any time I go through a cycle of playing a call of duty, the

first thing I will do on the setting which automatically mutes everyone in your lobby. I do it every game. I've been doing ranked play and I'm just, I'm muting those shit straight away. I don't want coms. I'm too anxious, I can't, I'm not in there. I'm not lobbying. I get it that does raise the question of whether this conversation is happening in like all chat, right? Like, public game chat. Like whether, you know, they're on a

private discord call together. Like whether there are people overhearing that conversation. Yeah, I would love to hear that. Thanks for letting me cry. I love you. Where are we dropping? It, you used to hear some shit if you'd be on call of duty. Because a lot of times people wouldn't know that they left their comms open so you'd hear like, yeah. Arguments, you'd hear like dogs barking and babies crying, like, people smoke alarms beeping. Yeah, children screaming at their mothers. Yeah, a lot of people on there that don't realize that the PS5 isn't automatically muted on the controller. It's insane that they do that. It's horrible. It's the their their their their their their their th. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. It's their. It's their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the their. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the th. thi. the thi. thi. thi. do that. Yeah, it's horrible. It's not cool Com's channel sounds like the hospital from Jacob's ladder. There's no way to find that story. There's no way to find that story that I saw recently that was like about some kid, I don't know if you like assaulted his parents or something. No, it was an advice column thing.

It was somebody writing into an advice column and saying, my son is like psychotically aggressive about his video games, and when we have asked him to stop playing, he screams at me and his father, says that we are quote fucking him in his ass. And like I think you've lost your son by that point. Yeah he's gone. He's not your son anymore.

It belongs to the Activision Corporation now. Here's their ward. Oh my God. I look, I'm going to say, Verdict. Verdict, you should be concerned. Yeah, you're getting cucked on Call of Duty. That's pretty rough. It's a rough time for you. That's no good. Don't the other one.

He's probably got a way better KDR too. Oh, probably. This guy doesn't sound like he even plays Call of Judy. Yeah. He's the double. He's the double. He's Judy. Yeah. He's got the double prestige, gold deagle. I can never ask. Yeah. But you know what? I kind of want to watch them play together. Let's see what kind of chemistry they've got. Yeah, let's see how it is. All right. Another normal one. We're engaged.

Now that we've set a date. We've finally set a date. All of a sudden, I'm seeing all the things that weren't a problem in our pre-2020 life that I've ignored for a while. The room that was supposed to be an art studio, it's entirely his 3D printing room. He makes twice as much as I do, yet we contribute the same to the household. Not annoyed because I can't afford it, but it, but thue it, thue it, thue it, thue it, thue, thue, th. thue, thue, thue, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to thi. toooooi. tooi. tooi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, the household. Not annoyed because I can't afford it, but he's always buying new 3D printers, board games, toys, gundums and transformers and guns. We have no money saved for the wedding. I'm not exactly fiscally responsible myself, but his hobbies have taken up the house and pushed mine out. I've been supporting him emotionally since COVID hit and even took on some riskier chores for him with asthma. Getting him to take back cat

litter duty with his allergies was nigh on impossible. But we own two dozen clothed face masks at this point he can wear for two minutes that this takes. I mean the charge of. What is changing the cat litter doing to him? He just, let's give him allergies. I think he has used, post-co's probably used post-COVID lung combined with allergies to permanently get out of catlator duty. Yeah. They're using, they must be using the paper stuff that, you can get the crystals. You can get the fucking, they got all sorts of technology now. I'm in charge of the catlater and it smells really good.

Really? You tip it out and you go, oh, nice. Okay. I'm in charge of the groceries dinner deciding what we are going to eat from Skip. I'm in charge of the floors, the sheets folding laundry is 100% on me, but at least he will do it. He's got ADD, but since COVID, he only focuses on his toys and 3D printer and video games. Uh-huh. Unlike me with random days off, he gets three on three off right now a four-day work week on campaign and yet he doesn't do almost anything when he's not working.

He even has the audacity to ask me to make extra stops for errands on days at his home and I'm working. Oh, bro. Hey, you're marrying a child. He's doing, he's doing, he's doing, he's doing, he's doing, he's doing, he's doing, he's the th, he's th, he's th, he's th, he's th, he's doing, he's doing, he's doing, he's doing, he's doing, he's doing, he's doing, he's doing, he's doing, he's doing, he's th, he's th. thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's thi, he's th. th. thi, he's th. the the the the the th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th you're marrying a child. Yeah, he's getting... He's doing parent pickups. Get me some mac and cheese on the way home, he says, in the middle of the game of call of duty. The thing that pissed me off the most is that he knew I had a migraine and spent the night in the bedroom playing with his squeaky new transformer and kept the light on when I wanted him to rub my back. He also woke me up early on my one day off to make me feed the cats as there were no

food bowls prepared. He came downstairs working out. Three to print a new one. What's he doing with this thing? No one does anything with 3D printers. What do you need somebody fucking 3. Oh, this guy does. Our sex life is th th th to to th to to th to th to th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi thi thi thi. Hea. Hea thi. Hea? We tried that. It doesn't work. This guy does. Our sex life is a wreck too.

Not for lack of trying, but it's the same every time. His once great foreplay had turned into grabbing a boob, pouring at my crotch or a combination of the two. I tried to initiate again the other night and and finally lost... Yeah, fellas, fellas, is that bad? Yeah, I was gonna say, oh, that's bad. Oh, that's bad. I'm touching her woman's zones. I tried to initiate again the other night and finally lost no nut November,

but not until after he showed me his next 3D printing project. Yes. Babe, babe, you want to get hot and heavy? First, hold up. Hold on. You've got to see what I made. You've got to see where this is. I made new wings for my Gundam.

I think you will agree. I have improved upon the design. All right, leave. Please leave the room. Please leave the little dude from Akira and the floating chair. Is that where you're making the 3D printers? You're making little Gundam accessories? I guess? I think, I mean, I kind of figure to this point, like,

anybody that I know who has used a 3D printer for a long time is generally just kind of like using it to make little pieces of, I guess, like, just sort of gadgets and little prototypes, like things they're building for themselves, like, you know, I'm, yeah, I'm making a thing that can convert like, a box fan into like a filter for the air in your house or whatever. Like, it's, it's never sort of, don't know I've 3D printing is kind of like VR-ish in the sense that when everybody first saw it they went wow the possibilities are endless and then after a little bit we were all like oh the

possibilities have ended. They have ended. Yeah they're over. They have we've seen we got right to the edge of the possibilities and looked over. Like they're using it from like medical stuff right? then they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they have they have they have they have they have they have they have they have have have have have have have they have have they have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have have. They have. They have. They have. They have. They have. They have. They have. They have. They have. They have. They have. They have. They have. They have. They have. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're, yeah. They're, yeah. They're, they have. They're, yeah, they have. They're, they have. They're, they have. They have. They have. They have. They have. They have. They have, they have, they have. They're, yeah, yeah and looked over. Like they're using it from like medical stuff, right? Then there's some good things. Yeah, haven't they used to do? Like little spare parts or whatever. Little spare parts for your body. That's what I'm saying.

Like people making things where they go, oh, I'm building a little gadget and I had to like, and I made a hinge in to to to to to to to for this thing. I feel like that's the majority of it. I'm sure there are people, oh one of my kids' friends came around the other day and she had like a big 3D printed snake that her dad had made where like it had printed with all the pieces already like interlocked, you know? And I said, huh, and I went about my business. Yep. Now Pat, you're a big 3D printer guy, right?

Yeah, obsessed. Constantly surrounded by the hum and wine of my 3D printers making little guys. How much is this? I didn't think I've never seen one. I know that people make guns with them over here, and that's the one thing I'm curious about in the story, Lucy, is that earlier in the post, we did have a sort of checkoff's gun. Is it going to go off? No, it's not. They don't mention the guns again. No mention of the guns just absolutely. Above the fireplace, above the fireplace, leaving it there there there there there there there there there there there there there the their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the fire, th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, that, the, the. the, the, the, the, I, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the. I's, the. I'm, thean, thean, toean, toean, thean, thean, toean, toean. thean. thean. the All he's doing this guy is he's doing the John Malkovich in the line of fire and making

a gun that can go through a metal detector. Who would he kill this guy? Who'd be real mad at? He likes Gundam? The edits to this were basically just her being like, I tried to talk to him, but then he went and started fiddling in his 3D printing room. She asked, is this fixable or are we screwed? Should we postpone and get counseling?

What if you cut this man out of your life entirely and went on to live a happier existence. That's pretty much what everyone was telling her, thank God. He's left behind just 3D printing the pieces of a new wife. Creating her from memory. Laughing me fiddling with her at night. Keeping the neighbors up with all the creaking joints. Oh my god. These things aren't as expensive as I thought. Lucy, these edits are very, very bad.

Oh, you can read them out if you like. Edit three. I got out of the shower ready to go. That's a pretty, that's a strong signal from your wife or future wife. Out of the shower, saying, sex time, ringing the big dinner bell. Ooh, I'm all wet and cold. Don't you want to toub. Hoppe it. I got out of the shower, ready to go, and he was still playing video games.

I tried to get his attention. He was mad I showered without him. Still kept playing. I told him to turn it off and shower. Then he comes back and says, what do you want to do today? Maybe he fell down some stairs. Maybe the stairs. Laundered on his head real hard. We don't know. Uh, edit, we talked.

The details aren't super important, but the timeline is to make a space for me to work on my art when I want to in the next month. I also told him he has to get some medical intervention of some kind, he has great benefits to either change slash ad medication, get therapy or some other kind of professional help for his ADD. Spoiler-elot! He's not going to do any other things. He just wants to play with this three-day printers. You're going to break this man's three-day printer. Yeah, kick it right in the middle. Not trying to get into heteronormative stereotypes here. A lot of fellas out there waiting to marry Mother 2.

The sequel, you know? Yeah. What if you made my macaroni and cheese while I played with my 3D printer? And then left me alone. Don't interrupt me? God. macaroni and cheese while I played with my 3D printer. And then left me alone. Don't interrupt me! God. That's a huge bummer.

It's pretty Blake. Oh, we can use technology for all kinds of stuff. 3D printing. And more importantly, coming up with brand new technology that will innovate in ways we cannot possibly imagine. It's time for pickleball watch. Have you been exposed to a lot of pickleball, Pat? Is it running wild over there? Nobody I know has gotten it, but I know it's out there. Oh no one's been making about a pickle that you know?

Yeah, no. I think there is a disdain in the voice of a lot of people I hear talking about pickleball. I don't know any pickleball people. It's kind of a lot of people I hear. We talk about pickleball. I don't know any pickleball people. It's kind of a silly name. It's sort of like silly place to start from when you call your sport. It's a bit silly. There's no pickle involved. It just seems like a squash, tennis type situation.

Yeah, yeah. It's on a little court. And it seems like it's very popular with older folks as well. I was gonna say, it's kind of an old people thing, right? Yeah, if you're getting out of the house, meeting people, getting some exercise, you know? Yeah. Oh, those looks fun. Hmm. More like a paddle than a racket.

Right. Yeah. Maybe you don't have to run around as much if the court's so little? Yeah, it's a smaller court. Yeah. I think we're a pro-Pickleball podcast. An update on the pickleball situation, which on this show we first talked about in August 2021 in the bonus episode, Alano Whitley. And we gave an example of the community response to pickle ball

in episode 318, the Hyundai-30 giraffe killer. This comes to us from Bay Area News Group, new quieter pickleball equipment, takes a swing at the sports noise problem. So I guess that's the main issue is that people can hear you playing it. The pop pop pop that's become synonymous with pickleball may soon be a racket of the past. They're having fun with it. Nice, yeah. At least that's the lofty goal promised by a new generation of equipment technology specifically developed to lessen the frequency, pitch, and overall acoustic burden of the

booming sport. Rather than listening to plasticy staccato thwax, imagine slightly padded thumps when paddles and balls collide. Sounds kind of nice, honestly. Yeah. Everybody imagining it? Yeah. News of this emerging gear could be music to non-players' ears, especially as the fast-growing

sport has sparked neighborhood clashes and legal battles in recent years. Complaints have popped up in Berkeley, San Francisco, Los Althos, Menlo Park, Walnut Creek, and across the Bay Area. But residents and elected officials have continually struggled to craft solutions that resolve pickleballs, cack off in a soundtrack without shutting down the sport altogether. How loud is this? Yeah, it's really that loud? I'm looking some up now.

I feel like they solved that pretty quickly with squash and they just play it inside a room? Yeah, no, I see the problem. So it's like a, it's like a ping pong paddle, right? But then they've got, it's a plastic ball that's slightly smaller than a tennis ball with holes in it. So you whack in that, you're making a noise. It's like a little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little, right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. A little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little making a noise. It's like a little, a little acoustic explosion there. A pock, if you will. A pock? Yeah. It's kind of soothing though. And I think the thing for me is looking at this, this is a sport primarily played by people who look like they're in their mid-30s and over. And if you take away the sound of the ball, what you're going to start hearing is just the noises 35 plus when people make when they move

around. Yeah. Yeah, which is way worse. The sound I make when I get up off the ground, if I'm sitting on the floor and then I have to get up, it's gonna be audible. Do you have to be dressed like you're in Weezer to play Pickleball or is that just all of the photos that I'm looking at? It's just kind of a cultural thing, I guess. They're loving it. They are bloody loving it. They're loving it.

Carl Schmitz, managing director of facilities development and equipment standards for USA Pickleball, said that as tennis courts, basketball courts, and other spaces in community parks were rapidly converted to try and meet the demand of pickleball players across the Bay Area, many of those changes happened without much research into how the game might increase the amount of noise and number of people in those spaces. We just have to meet the ravenous desire of the pickleball players. Yeah, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they can they can their their their th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, te, te. toge, toge, teea. toge-s. toge. toge, toge, te. te. te. te of the pickleball players. Yeah, they can't be denied. They're bashing at my door right now. More courts? Schmit said that's why Pickleball USA has been researching and investing in solutions with

acoustic engineering firms for the past 18 months, aiming to change the actual sound of the game and also help local communities understand how to best study and improve the past 18 months, aiming to change the actual sound of the game and also help local communities understand how to best study and improve the acoustics of assisting facilities before installing additional courts. Glad we got some people out here solving the real problems. Yeah. You know? Somebody's got to tackle that.

I'm installing an illegal silencer on my pickleball paddle. 3D printing a silencer from a pickleball paddle. Finally, we have a use. On Wednesday he demonstrated... Your own tobacco firearms and pickleball come to my door. On Wednesday he demonstrated a handful of new equipment specifically designed for quieter play at Petermont's Linda Beach pickleball courts. That location was fitting since players are already required or at least encouraged to only

use equipment that's been certified in USA Pickle Balls newly launched, quiet category of products. I think they're running a racket. I think they're running a racket. I think they're running a racket. Andrew, you are Bundervista's comedian off the way. Oh no! I didn't mean to do that one. Fuck! Peter Mon officials have even printed out a color-coded list of acceptable paddles and

balls to use at Linda Beach. Generally speaking, Schmidt said quiet certified paddles can reduce the sound of contact from 90 decibels, roughly the volume of hair dryers and power tools, down to only 80 decibels. That's so much. I don't think that's a very little reduction. Lovely. So the description here of like what we're reducing the noise from and to, from roughly the volume of hair dryers and power tools, to, closer to the noise levels measured on a busy downtown street or near a garbage disposal. That's also not quiet.

That's not quiet. I would think that a garbage disposal and hair dryer were making roughly the same amount of noise. Yeah. Can I just say before someone writes an angry email just before someone's emails. So someone's already written something in the show chat in the discord to say you stupid you stupid motherfuckers. 80 decimals is approximately one-tenth the volume of 90 decimals. It's a logarithmic scale.

Oh is it really? Somebody else is going to be writing a letter in taking you to task saying decimals. Yeah, 100% do I? I heard that. Yeah you tot are saying decimals. Yeah, 100% I heard that. Yeah, you totally did. God damn it. I'm fucked. There's no escape. There's no escape from from our pedantic listeners. There really isn't. No. There's a strongly established pattern where we were somebody who's listening to the episode. They comment on the Patreon saying you said to the episode, they comment on the Patreon saying, you said this thing wrong and then two minutes later, they comment again going, oh, you address that. I'm so long.

Well, I'm glad that you did it. Yeah, we've got to, we've really got to reiterate our stance that you listen to the entire episode before. Like write and down, you know, you, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that thaton, thaton, thaton, thaton, thaton, thaton, thaton, thaton, you say thaton, you say thaton, you say thaton, you say thaton, you say thaton, you say th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. thaton, thaton, that and that and that and thaten, pat thaten, pat thaten, pat that and that and that and that and that and that and that and thaten thaten thaten thaten thaten that listen to the entire episode before. Like write them down, you know, keep notes by all means. Yeah. You should be listening to this because they think you guys are smart? I hope not. Obviously.

Fuck, I hope not. That's worrying. It's a really concerning idea. Hmm. This new generation of gear aims to lower the pitch of the ball pops, which can negatively impact players hearing. They're all half deaf anyway. Let's be real.

Yeah, that's right. What pops? You know? What pops? They're all saying. Eh? Is that's what the person they're talking to says. Since the launch of the first quiet paddles by Owl Spock in to, to, to, to, to, the. the. the. the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. thi, thi, thi. they. thi, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. Wea, they. Wea, the the the the the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, they.. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a, they's, the first quiet paddles by Owl Sport in November, Schmit said it's possible to cut the acoustic signature of the sport in half, especially when combined

with other interventions, such as fabric sheaths that cover louder paddles and sound-absor panels designed with innovative nanofiber fibers and polymer cores that can be installed along fences around pickleball courts. Close the room. Put a roof on the roof on top. Inside. Yeah. Squash courts are loud as fuck.

If you are walking along on the street outside, it is not a concern. Hmm. It is not a concern. Justin Long, as far as I know, not that one. Director of the City of Alamators Recreation and Park Department, he's the I'm a Mac guy. I'm a PC, I'm a Mac, I'm in the movie Barbarian. He was great in the movie Barbarian. He was so great in the movie. Crapers. Jeebers. Fucked up Kevin Smith one, Tusk. Tusk. Yeah. Horrible. Awful film. So not that guy is one of many city administrators as far as we know is one of many city administrators who are increasingly trying to find new tools

and data to understand, let alone mitigate, just how much noise pickerball games create. Quote, the good thing is that dialogues are happening, Long said. It doesn't need to happen in court. No, just on court. He might be the comedian if so weak, yeah. Hmm. Hmm. You got to think about what kind of pollution noise and otherwise so you're putting out into beautiful nature when you play

whatever your fucked-up sport is. Let's take a turn now into the world of nature corner. Country Roaughs, take me home to the place I belong. I belong. Who to be some nature corner. Robbed Crest. It's my dick. This comes to us from the BBC. It's having a little overlap with Britain watch here. Sick Devon Donkey saved by being given 24 litres of cola.

He just left me for the today. He just left me for real. given 24 liters of cola. He just left me for real. Yeah. Was he hung over? Did he need 24 liters of full sugar coke? Well, he had a sore tummy. Yeah. Wow, we're bringing a full circle right here. That's beautiful.

Yeah, and we planned this too. Maybe, as far as you know, maybe. As far as you know. Vets resorted to Fizzicola to help ease a blockage in a sick donkey's stomach. We've all been there. We've all been there. We've all pooped a bunch of blood because our tummy hurt, you know? Yeah.

And what we need? 24 liters of cola. So many liters. That's so much. How many do you think you could get down before you died or whatever? Point nine. I struggle to get through a 600 mil bottle. 0.9. What? What, Max? I struggle to get through a 600-mill bottle.

Yeah, the amount that I am able to like comfortably drink in a city sitting goes down every year. I'm currently at a point where my favorite serving size of cola is the slim ladies can. Oh, those little, those tiny little cans, yeah. Yep, yep, yep. Those are cute. That's the perfect amount for me to have with a sandwich. I just put that in my pocket, put my mom away.

Yep, and keep going on my day. Nice and warm by the time you're ready to drink it. that's getting so warm. Hate the article say if the donkey liked it? Does it say if the donkey got jitters or got really excited? Couldn't stop talking about its favorite prog record. Joey from the donkey sanctuary in Sidmouth Devon had a condition known as gastric impaction. There's a lot going on animal wise in Devon. Last week we had the missing, what's the fucked

up little guy that went missing? The little guy. Uh, yeah, there was a, um, with Josh Sawyer, uh, Binterong. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. One of them little fellas. Also in Devon, they got all kinds of animals doing the wrong things over there. Oh, someone, someone just commented on like a five-year-old episode to take us to task about something. About how we often talk about like Americans and their private zoos, where there's just like little roadside zoos in Alabama,

where people have acquired a bunch of exotic animals and put them in waiting pools. And they said, you guys always marvel at this, not taking into account things like, the Australia Zoo started by Terry Irwin. And I would argue that there's a difference between like a commercial zoo. Yeah, you literally referring to a single zoo. Z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z z. to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to the the the to the the the the the the the the the of of of of of of of the th of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of th of of the the the the the the th th th th their th their th their th th their th their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi the the the thi the the the would argue that there is a difference between like a commercial zoo. Yeah, you're literally referring to a single zoo. Like a zoo.

Like, do you not have just animal guys over there? Like we have animal guys. No, no. Not really. You can't just acquire exotic animals here. Yeah. Like it's not allowed. There was like a motorbike garage where this guy was like trying to make the longest, he

made a highly Davidson with like 12 engines or something all in a line. And also, he had like a Lama Sanctuary or whatever, just out the back. Just sort of like combination world's longest motor bike and Lama sanctuary. Eventually he's going to put all the llamas on there. Yes. Ideally, yeah. It's the end goal. No, I knew an animal guy. What did he have? He had some illegal tortoises.

So there's a, there is like a law enforcement to animal guy pipeline where like law enforcement in a town or region will figure out who the animal guy is. So when somebody has an animal that they shouldn't have, they'll just give it to the animal guy. So he had like an illegal African tortoise that wasn't supposed to be over in the states that was in his carry. He had some emus, he had some bats, I think he had some spiders and stuff. A lot of chickens, a lot of dogs. So the deal there is like the police would otherwise have to put them in like those little bomb disposal boxes.

And like robot was up to it and bish. Yeah, and like that's a lot of effort and paperwork and stuff. So they just give it to a guy? Right, yeah, it's either that or they auction it off for... Wow. They do a drug dealer cars. Do you think if you like a vaporize a tortoise that is just the shell left? Or do you think it's all going? I think so, yeah. If you like, like a... One of the pyrolight ovens that do the self self self self self self self self self self self self? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? I thi? I thi? I's thi? I's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just thi? I's just just just the the thi? I's just thi? I's just thi? I's thi? I's thi? I's thi? I's thi? I's thi? I's thi? I's thi? I's the th. I's th. I's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. It th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the? Yeah? Yeah? the? the? the? the the theat the theat the that do the self-cleaning, you reckon the shelf-cleaning you're going to be left. Yeah. Yeah. I found out, I found out the, remember the toilet, tortoises feel pain through their shells?

It's really sad. It's really sad. Yeah, I didn't like, I didn a video of like a tortoise like doing a little dance to get its back scratched on like a brush or something. It's like, oh, because it's definitely. If it can feel bad, it can feel good too. That's right. There is there is light and shade in all we do. Yeah. My shell is an erogenous zone. Oh boy. Yeah, um, we have very stringent biosecurity laws here. And I love you for it. It's probably for the best. Johnny Dip to task about it.

It was so good when he had to say, you've been a naughty little boy. Biosecurity is very important. Or whatever he said in his little video it was great. Yeah and we had our I think he was the deputy prime minister at the time just this raging alcoholic being like I will personally kill Johnny Depp's dogs. It was a good time to be in Australia. Yeah he did directly threaten to kill Amber Herd and Johnny Depp's talks. Yeah. Which like most people who have a couple of little dogs as pets would take pretty rough,

I think. Most people would be pretty offended. Not me. That's fine. How did, again, I really, I genuinely do love Australia's dedication to biosecurity. But how did it get started? Like, when did this become a defining trait of nuclear land? I think it's partly because we have the ability to do that. Yeah, being a, being a, being a separate continent and the vast majority of people got to get here by plane. Yeah, we have, we have much more of a building kind of, yeah, yeah, we've fucked up a few times by introducing some species that we shouldn't have. Got those cane toads in there, that's no good.

Oh yeah, we messed up. Got those rabbits and boxes. No good that one. Yeah, no good, no the deer. And we said, enough is enough. Enough is enough. Yeah, they kind of like walk around. Sniff your bags. Sniff in your bag. I like sni for dogs, but they're just for fruits and stuff. Just for like, yeah, fruits that might have line of to get trouble if you're like an old Chinese grandma bringing

a bunch of medicinal herbs and roots through and then they'll go through your bag and say no. No. They toss it all in the bin. Yeah, we went to Fiji last year and we bought like a big crazy shell that we bought from a market or whatever. But when they give it to you, they like specify this has been treated like and sprayed and everything. And then they put it in a thing and seal it up with like an officially stamped thing

so that you can get it back through Australian airport, you know. Let's check back in on Joey the donkey. Joey the donkey. He was having a bad time. It was so bad that he could not eat or drink anything, and he was in a lot of pain. He said, I need soda. I use this trick all the time. Oh No, not not LA ice. I need RC collar at the minimum. Oh, slapping the Pepsi out of your hand. No, it's got to make it worse.

Not diet. Oh. It's the it worse. Not diet. It's the real sugar that helps. It is though, for real. When you got a sore tummy, you need that like actual sugar sprite. You know, you need a lemonade. Yeah, I need a solo. I'm all about a solo.

Ooh, I'm a bit hungover. I need my lemonade. Vets at the sanctuary gave Joey 24 liters of the fizzy drink over four days through a tube in his nose. Oh and now he is quote back to his usual happy self. Really pumping it in there. It's six liters a day through the pipes. Samming this fellow with cola. Damn. And you'd assume that's caffeinated as well, right?

So. Yeah, he's up all night. Yeah, he's slipping out. Why cola? Why not like lemonade? Well, why not monster energy drink if we go on that? Yeah, it does. You know all those videos of people putting something in a petri dish and then pouring some cola over it?

No, I do, I, you're right, the healing properties of cola. Vet Jamie Forrest said the cola dissolved the blockage. A procedure the sanctuary had tried before with quote, really good and quote results. He explained that they used full fat cola. Not sure about that. Okay. Do I mean full sugar? I'm not sure that they used full fat cola. Not sure about that. Okay. Do I mean full sugar? I'm not sure that there's fat.

Full sugar is in whole diet. I think that is what they mean. There is any fat in a cola generally speaking. Make sure to shake your coke up. You want to emulsify the fat in that bad boy before you drink it. I don't want it to split. Oh I hate it when my coke separates out into layers skimming all the fat off my coke before I drink it. He explained they used full fat cola because Joey needed the extra calories to prevent damage to the liver and

kidneys. Yeah yep that's what I was telling my dad when I was like 19 and on a steady diet of store boughtbought RC cola with like vanilla essence dropped in so I can make vanilla coke without paying for it. Wow. That's smart. Yeah, it's a Renaissance man. Really something. This is really making me want a soda. I like a vanilla coke. I appreciate a vanilla coke at times. Love a cherry coke. Have not tried the AI designed Coca-Cola. It's so disgusting. It's so bad. That AI's not, they're not making stuff for me. I don't want to know about it. What would it know about the tastes, the sensation of feeling

human experience. Yeah. Don't, like, I don't want to do that. If it's like, okay, so it's an AI Coke. It can't taste. So, is it like, if it's based on like survey data of like things that people have said that they like about the flavor of coke, it's gonna be really fucked up because like, when YouTube asks, like, the the the th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, the th, the th th th they like about the flavor of Coke, it's gonna be really fucked up because like when YouTube asks me, like, have you heard of Walmart? I'm like, no. Yeah.

No. Oh, I love mine for YouTube. Every time I get the survey, I say it goes, what do you prefer, Coca-Cola, Pepsi, RC Cola? And I always tick the, I have never heard of any of these brands, but no.... the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. Yeah, thi, that, thi, that, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I, no, no, no, no.. I, no. I, no.. I, no. I, no.. I, no. I. I. I. Yeah, I. I. Yeah, I. I. I. Yeah, I. I. I. Yeah, I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I thi, I that, I that, I that, I that, I to. I to. I to. I that, I ty. I that that that th thi, I thi, I... Yeah. First time I'm hearing about any of this. Very cool how we've kind of just made this self-perpetuating system of complete garbage that, assumingly has like human inputs and outputs at some stage? Because people are putting money into these surveys, right?

But no one's answering them. Do you guys see? What the fuck is going on? What is happening with, like, like, what is it, what is happening, like, like, like, thing thing thing, thing, thing, right? But no one's answering them. Do you guys see? What the fuck is going on? How? What is it? What is happening with like, how is this our economy now? There's just like five layers of ads for nobody, by nobody, and then a video pops out from Polygon? Like, I'm not fighting the end results, but... How is it, how is it getting paid for? I don't know. I don't, I don't, I, I, I, I, I, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, and it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it's, it's, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, thi, the the the the, is, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, not fighting the end results, but... How is it getting paid for?

I don't know. I don't know. It's so fucking fun. It is so funny to like spend billions and billions of dollars telling people about soda and then asking them, hey, do you know about soda? They're like, no. I don't even understand what language you're speaking. Uh-uh, never heard. So da? So da? Is that what you're saying? Cocay, Kala?

Never heard of it. Maybe one of your readers, listeners can tell us how it all works. Maybe. Please. If you know how this works. I assume everybody saw that thing a couple of weeks ago where a purported AI stand-up comedy thing put out a George Carlin stand-up special. Oh. The dudesy AI, I think it's called. And they are, they put out this hour-long stand-up and they said, oh it's an AI stand-up special

and it's like, you know, faking George Carlin's voice and doing George Carlin's style stand-up. And lots of people in the comments go, wow, it's like George Carlin as her with my own. And after a week or two, um, I think they, I think they got like directly asked. It's, it's from a podcast with like Will Sassow and another comedian. Oh, right. Where they like talk to the quote unquote AI on a laptop and then they riff on it, then it's, it's not good. It's not good. It's the dog shit, Edrus. Yeah, yeah, well. So they, so they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they got, they, they, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they got, they they they they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they they they they they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they they got, they got like, they got like, they got like, they got like, they got like, they got like, they got like, they got like, they got like, they got like, they got like, they got like, they're, Andrews. Yeah, well, so they got like directly asked about this, and I'm not sure if it was like we have been sent a season to CIS type thing, and then they immediately said, oh no, it's not AI, like this comedian wrote a script and we got an AI to say it. Oh, okay.

So that was the human inputs and outputs of that although I do believe the Seinfeld show that was AI was actually AI because it got stuck in like a transphobic loop for like two days. You remember that? Remember the Seinfeld one that went off the rails is just like well here's my ideas about who is and isn't people. We're getting some human inputs on this show. This is the, this is the end goal of all AI. Remember the, remember the Microsoft one before all the LLM stuff that's just like, yeah.

Yeah. Because it was just fading off everyone else. Hey, I'm racist now. The Seinfeld AI suddenly installing itself on high school computers for some reason. Oh boy. I've been re-watching Seinfeld recently and there's that scene where they have the season-long plot line where they're pitching their pilot, they're trying to get on NBC with their pilot, and they're at Russell Dalrymple's place, the guy from NBC, and his daughter comes comes in and it's Denise Richards playing his daughter and they're like how old is your daughter before she gets there

and he says she is 15 years old and they go uh huh and then she comes in and she's bending over and they both like gorp at her cleavage for ages? Come on come on that didn't have it there yeah so there's just a straight up plot line about how horny Jerry and George are for a 15-year-old in an episode of Sunfield. With a little bit of art imitating life there, you know? Cool. Or the other way around, whichever one he did first. Good society. Oh, and Elaine's the only character is the character the character the character the character the character the character th is th is the character th is the character the character th is th is the character th is the character th is th is the character the character th is th is the character that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. theateat. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat. the society. Oh, and Elaine's the only character who's like,

Huh? How old was this girl? They're like, hey, cleavage is cleavage. They're like, cleavage. They say that? Yes. Yikes. And does one of them say it? Cleavage is cleavage?

And then a third person comes saying, goes, cleavage then goes, cleavage is cleavage. And then a third person comes and goes, cleavage is cleavage. Oh, we're talking about gleavage. Yeah, it's right out there. The 1990s, folks, different time. Now we can just get AI to do that for us. Mm-hmm. We administered the cola by putting a tube into a jowe's nose, going directly into his stomach. And then we administered the cola three times a day, over a four-day period to break down the impaction. Someone should have done that to you.

Pat. I would have loved it. Yeah. Yeah. This is so sad. If I knew that it was an option, I'm probably, yeah. Yeah. Uh, gastric impactions are rare in don't and the sanctuary only sees a couple of cases a year, he said, doesn't sound that rare.

No, like if you're doing like, if you're putting 24 liters of cola through donkeys like, semi-regular, I feel like that's not rare. That's like a thing that you do now. It's not that rare. Sounds like... It depends on like how many donkeys they're dealing with. True. Like, in total. Is it all happening to the same donkey? Yeah, it's a one problem donkey.

Yeah, we've gone through hundreds of liters of cola and it's all on Joey. Hmm. He also warned that cola should only be given to animals by a vet for a specific reason and not as a regular drink. I love how they immediately know how people are going to respond. Has anybody seen the video of the pig drinking Bud Light Lime? Yeah. No, I don't remember this.

They look so happy. Yeah. Like, can't we just let them like have the life that we can't have for ourselves? Yeah. Let them have a limited. It's like when they have those videos of a horse drinking a beer, you know? Yep. It's good stuff. Yeah, that's just good fun for everyone. A bear smoking cigarettes.

Yeah, a monkey doing cocaine. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Ideally, the monkey's in a suit. Maybe suspenders. Yeah. If you want a cigarette, they want a cigarette. Let them in, you know? Oh, boy.

That has been an episode of the podcast, Bundafista. Pat, thank you so much for joining us. Yeah, thanks for having me on again. Anything to plug? Anything we should be directing people's eyes and ears towards? Yeah, sure. No, I mean, yes, no. You're searching around the room. You don't want these people. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thuh, uh, uh, th, th, that, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that,. Um, yeah. No, I mean, yes, no. You're searching around the room.

You don't want these people. Uh, uh, no, I do twoitch. t. T.v. Such. And I do videos on Polygon's YouTube page. That's YouTube.com slash Polygon. Wonderful. Thanks very much. And we'll see everybody next time. Yeah. Unless you

hate it. Unless you turned it off 40 minutes. And this is freebie and free brewery. Is it free free brewery? Fremi and free brewery. Let's all get behind that. So you'll be getting twice as much in your inbox. Twice as much. We only ever remember to talk about whatever we're doing or want people to do in the final 30 seconds of the show. And that's- Look, I told my wife last night, if this starts becoming a job for us, I don't think we'd do it. So that means not organizing, not planning, not planning, not doing anything

that sounds like it's not fun. Just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theananan. thean, theanan, thean, thiii. thean, thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. th fun. Just showing us. They can tell. Only transformers only. That's right. Mm-hmm. Bye-bye. Bye. you