Boonta Vista - EPISODE 34: Barnaby's Choice

Episode Date: February 12, 2018

Andrew, Ben & Theo are talking about the moral minefield of public interest around the long-running affair of Deputy Prime Minister and Nationals leader Barnaby Joyce. We also cover Mad Mike the Flat Earth Rocket Man and the worst thing we've ever eaten while high. Support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista Don't forget to rate & subscribe on iTunes if that's your thing. _____________________________ Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista iTunes: tinyurl.com/y8d5aenm Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/s?fid=144888&refid=stpr Pocket Casts: pca.st/SPZB RSS: tinyurl.com/kq84ddb

Welcome to Buente Vista Socialist Club, episode 34. I'm Andrew and I'm here with Theo. Hey, it's so nice the intro music is so long now, it gives me more opportunity to hastily chew my dinner. Just try to digest mid-intro. That's good. It's the their opportunity to hastily chew my dinner. Just try to digest mid-intro. That's good. We're also here with Ben. Hello. I want to be angry that you put Theo first, but also while I was sitting there while the music was playing staring at Zencaster. I made my name for when I entered Zencaster as Cocksucker Greg because I thought that was funny. But then I misread it as that that that that that was funny. That's that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that. that. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that, that, that. that, tho, tho, tho, tho, that's that. Yeah, tho. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's, th. That's, th. th. th. the. that. that. that. that. that. that. I I I I I I I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that when I entered Zencaster Greg, because I thought that was funny, but then I misread it as Cocksuckerberg. I've only seen it as cocksuckerberg.

Oh, I was saying it in my head as if it was Mark Zuckerberg, sorry, Cocksuckerberg. A really good own if you want to homophobically insult Mark Zuckerberg, call him Cockerberg. Hmm. And it's got just a tinge of anti-Semitism about it too. Oh yeah, it's got everything. I guess it does. For the record, I was just being homophobic with Coxucker Greg. I was picturing sort of a man who's on a forum and he's letting

people know that that's what his interests are. I don't know what sort of forum if it's about cocks. I don't know, but that's what I was picturing when I did it. I'm imagining it's a bodybuilder for him. See, I was thinking like for chartered accountants. I like the bodybuilding one that he's a beloved figure on the forum and people just like, ah every thread becomes cock sucker Greg. You look really great. Loving those muscles, love those deltels. Love just suck that cock. Imagine if this was the first episode you listen to, you thou th you thou the tho-you tho' th you th you th you th you th you thin, you thin, you thin, you thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin thin, thin, those delts. Love, just suck that cock. Imagine if this was the first episode you listened to, you thought this is what the show was about.

I mean it is too. Yeah. It is. I mean, we pondered the deep stuff, like imagining people saying to each other, look, we'd ban him, but his advice on protein to just too good. I just kind of love him. I think he's kind of like an incest guy from Twitter. Hmm. Controversial figure that guy. Similar sort of deal.

He loves that incest. It seems like a friendly person. Yeah. It's a real champion of incest. Shout out to cocks like a Greg. Uh, don't know if you might be. There's an alternate universe where you're real and it might be this one. Now folks, when you do sign into the app that we use to record the show, like the guy said, you can put a name in for yourself if you're so inclined.

And Theo's name brings us to the topic that we were planning to discuss. Good segue. It's a big, big, big news story th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi- thi- thi- thi-a thi- thi- thi- thi- thi- thioo thio thi-ui-uio thio thio thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus where thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi-a. thi-out thi. thi. thi. to to to thi to to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. to the topic that we were planning to discuss. Big big news story this week and Theo has selected the name Barnaby's Choice which tickled me a great deal when he got in here. Tickled your turn up. So yes. Oh. For the uninitiated, Barnaby Joyce is the Deputy Prime Minister of Australia. He, within the last year or two, became the leader of the nationals who are half of the coalition, the ruling party of Australia, which is made up of the Liberal Party and the Nationals. The Nationals essentially, I guess, being the country version of the Liberals? Yeah, that's fair.

Yeah. Of course, we've all enjoyed it in the past when other governments have had to be formed out of, you know, they've had to make a minority of labor and the Greens and an independent or something and the LNP gets insanely mad saying they don't even have the numbers to make up the government by themselves, they're illegitimate, it's an illegitimate government. Whereas like every time they've formed government in the last half of many decades, it's literally been a coalition of two parties neither of which could actually get elected by themselves. So Barnaby's been in the news, it's been in the news because he's been a naughty boy. Ben would you like to eliminate the people on what Barnaby's been up to? He's been

fucking. Mm-hmm. There's been fucking and possibly sucking. I can't possibly comment on the sucking, but I can't picture it. I can't picture any of it. This is the worst part of it. All right, so he, uh, in November, late November of last year, I believe, announced that he was separating from his wife, weirdly, as part of a speech he gave about same-sex marriage. We had time to drop that. And there are a lot of rumors about his conduct, but it was never really made clear what he had done.

And then, so no press gallery journalists would report on it, no one in Mainstrade media would report on it, because there's this whole thing about not reporting about people's private lives until they decided two days ago, two or three days ago, that the fact that the former staffer of his, that he had been conducting a long-term affair with, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr-a, so thi, so thi, so the, so the, so the, so the, so the, so thi, so thi, so thi, so th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so thi, so the the the thi, the the the the the the thr thr thr thr-a, the thr-a, the thr-a thr-a the thr-a thrown the thr-n. So thr-a, so thr-a, so thr-athat the fact that the former staffer of his that he had been conducting a long-term affair with is up the duff. She's got a baby in the oven. Well, not sure that's how that's saying goes but... I think that's what the expression is. I'm pretty sure. I thought a baby in the oven was known as the California Cheeseburger. No? Never heard the expression? I hope the listeners at home just got a fill of the crickets that are in the background of Ben's audio in the silence after that. I feel like Theo and I psychically communicated to decide that we were going to give you nothing but silence there in it.

It paid off beautifully. Would you like me to explain what a California cheeseburger is? Yeah, very much so. Oh, it's the, well, it's from the, um, it's from the, like, Reefa Madness type days of anti-marijuana paranoia. That whole, uh, I got high, put the, the baby in the oven thingy was a turkey. Yeah, and then I, then I, oh, so high I ate my baby. And that's, that's the California cheeseburger, that's, um, that's, that's hipp., the hipp. That's hipp. That's, they. That's, they. That's, they. That's, they. That's, they. That's, they. That's, they. That's, they. they. they. they. thi, thi, thi, thi, they. thi, th. thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, th. That's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, uh, that, th. that, th. th.. What's the worst thing you've ever eaten when you were high? Me? Yeah.

Oh, Theo doesn't take drugs. Well, all right, I'll give you one that I think kind of flip-flops between worst and best, which is that I was frying burgers in a pan, beef, beef patties, and then I ate the burgers burgers and I was like, good stuff. Still hungry for obvious reasons. Took a tube of cookie dough, the old pre-made cookie dough from the supermarket out of the fridge, started cutting it up into chunks and frying it in the beef fat that was still in the pan. Oh, hot damn. And I'll tell you, man, it was, it was something because the outs of the thi th. Because, because, the the the outside, because, the the the the the the the the beef fat that was still in the pan. Oh, hot damn.

And I'll tell you, man, it was, it was something because the outside got all like, all nice and hot and crispy, like a fresh cookie, but the inside was all molten cookie dough. And you're getting that sweet ummmami flavor from the beef fat. Yeah. So, um, I wannato say it was bad but it was actually just fucking great. I mean it's definitely gross but that sounds fucking amazing. Oh that sounds so good. Yeah so there you go. I think the one time that I got really high and the only thing that I had in the fridge.

This is before I was vegetarian I had like a kilo of uncooked bacon in the fridge. I knew I was too high to cook it without hurting myself. So I just ate a full kilo of uncooked bacon. Well at least it's cured. It's cured. So I mean it's not like it's raw meat. But my guts, they did not appreciate that, but I did while I was eating it. So who's the real winner? Me or my guts? Yeah. Why not both?

Why not both? So look, we've been a little sidetracked here, but the real point is, I don't know if we have the Barnaby Joyce has a California cheeseburger in the microwave. He does. And so suddenly we have reached the tipping point where after quote journalist end quote Sherry Markson decided this is the part where we're now allowed to talk about it because we got a cheap tabloid shot of his pregnant partner we're going live with the story. So now everyone is willing to discuss that Barnaby Joyce had an affair, which makes a lot

of articles that were written in October last year very, very funny because they were all written by people who clearly knew what was happening, but refused to explicitly say it because of the weird code of conduct that they are operating by. In the same newspaper, it should be added. So it was the Dettlegraph, right, that published. Same journalist. It was Sherry Markson both times. So I assumed they apologized for the earlier era.

Well, okay, so this is the thing. If you read the original story, which was the Barnaby Joyce battles vicious innuendo, so that was the one that led all the stories, right, and everyone's like, well, what the fuck you're talking about? What's going on here? We all read this article as Shari sort of defending him and claiming that it was a dirty fight against him. But if you're... Yeah, filthy smear.

But if you read it again, uh, basically, her position is that it's a dirty tactic, but also she's still publishing it. She's not really taking a position in this at all. It's just the word choice of vicious innuendo. And then outside of that, she's like, well, this is going to fuck him up, but then won't say what it is. I actually read a really good quote from her today after she had published this because, as we know, as we do or don't know, she's now the editor of the Daily Telegraph. She basically went from, I think, sort of the gossip columnist of the Australian to whatever she was doing at the Daily Telegraph before that. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she, she's, she's, she's, th. So, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, is, is, is, is, is, thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, of the Australian to Whatever she was doing at the Daily Telegraph before that but she's now the editor

So it was very much her choice to run this it wasn't you know She pushed it up and somebody finally relented it was an active decision from her and The quote I read today when you know she had been questioned about whether or not It was appropriate or whether or not it was in the public interest or whatever. The way she chose to defend herself was by saying, look, I don't think any of the punters out there are going to be saying, oh, I wish I didn't know that the deputy prime minister was having a saucy affair. Nobody out there saying, I wish they hadn't published that and I didn't know it now. I that I that I was I that I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I wish I didn't that that the the the th. I didn't the the deputy the deputy the deputy the deputy the p-a their their their their the deputy I didn't the deputy I didn't the deputy I didn't the deputy I didn't the deputy I didn't the deputy the deputy the deputy the deputy the deputy the deputy the deputy the deputy the deputy the deputy the deputy the deputy the the the the the the the the the the their their their their th. I'd th. I'd thi to thi thi. I thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Nobody out there saying I wish they hadn't published that and I didn't know it now. I was like that's, she's not actually making any kind of argument about public interest. She's just saying yeah but people want the dirt, people want the dirt, which they do, but yeah I mean that kind of brings us to the

whole larger issue. I mean obviously there is what you were talking about Ben of a lot of that sort of stuff going around of yeah whether or not it's appropriate to talk about politicians private lives and I'm sure all of all of us three would have seen sort of arguing between different journalists and stuff about whether or not it's appropriate and yeah and what constitutes public interest and where's the kind of litmus test for that and lots of that sort of stuff but now that it's out in the open people are really

people are really going to town about it and yeah I mean obviously there is the whole issue of journalists clearly all having known about it for a very long time and having said nothing. Which raises some questions? I've got a few examples here of how willing people were to talk about it without talking about it. So it's in the original Marxen article. She basically Da Vinci coded what happened into it.

So it's two passages that are key to this. In about the fifth or sixth paragraph, she says, the private turmoil has spilled over into his office with staff leaving at the hide of the situation. One of Mr. Joyce's female advisors left his office to work for another minister who was close to Mr. Joyce before moving to another MP. That of course turned out to be the woman with whom he was having an affair. And then at the bottom of the article is this one tiety little sentence that appears apropos of absolutely nothing. Mr. Joyce, who was married in 1993, his Catholic and is spoken often

of his conservative, social, and economic values. I wonder why that's relevant. Just sprinkle that in there. Andrew Bolt did a story about it in around the same time, where he... where are we? Oh no, actually, I'm sorry, he was just quoting the other one. He just does his usual thing where he takes somebody else's story and adds a few notes. He said, if true, Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce is finished. Turns out that's absolutely not true. He was not. And then... Not he was likely. And then in the Northern Daily Leader, which is a newspaper, the newspaper, which, it, it, which, which, which, which, which is, which, which is, which, which is, which is, which, which, which, which is, which is, which, which is, which is, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, the the the the the th. th. And, th. And, th. th. And, th. th. th. th. th. ue. He was not. And then... Not even slightly.

And then in the Northern Daily Leader, which is a newspaper, there was this... Oh, wonderful story. Just... truly phenomenal. This headline alone is so good. Man on other side of Barnaby Joyce stalking accusation speaks up about hat-flicking pub incident, which is all contained in the opening two paragraphs. The man accused of stalking Barterby Joyce claims he has only met him twice but admitted to provoking him, which ended with a hat-flicking incident at the Gremond Hotel near Inverall on Monday night, former deputy, former deputy prime minister

and leader of the National Party. This was, he was former at the time because he had been section 44, and this is before he won the by-election and got his seat back. Bynaby Joyce told Fairfax Media on Tuesday that he was being stalked and did not deny flicking a man's hat off during a heated encounter at the New England pub. There's a line in there saying that the man is believed to have made a comment about Mr. Joyce's personal life as he left the pub, which prompted a threatening response when asked about the incident, Mr. Joyce that his private life is private. Until it isn't. And then the guy who broke that story, James and Murphy posted to do it saying today being like, well

I couldn't say it at the time, but the thing that the guy said to him was say hello to your missus for me, your mistress for me. And apparently that's enough to make Barnaby Joyce flick your hat off. Hmm, which like, I love that as just an extremely Australian country pub. Well, they're all wearing hats for a start. Is that like a, is that like a glove slap? I think it might be. It's getting there. It's getting there. What? There's a slightly humiliating element to it because you have to bend over to pick up your hat? Hmm, you might even have to dust it off. Oh, you don't want to do that.

Not in front of everybody. No. Yeah, so there's all kinds of interesting elements going on with this whole thing. And you know, like obviously, I don't know, I mean, there's examples of times that you can think of where somebody's family has been bought into the public about something. But often it is actually the politician who brings it up. I mean, I was just thinking that about, um, former Senator Jackie Lambie constantly bringing up her son's ice addiction and you know framing that as as for policy reasons that kind of stuff. But yeah like part of what's confounding about this whole thing is this idea that as people seem to constantly refer to

it, that this was like an open secret in Canberra. I myself had heard this thing directly from like at least two people, well before it was publicized, people who like work in the government or whatever. I'm pretty sure as soon as someone told me I said it on the show. But we're not, we're not Laurie Oaks or anything. I am. I'm Laurie Oaks. Yeah, I've changed my tie six times in this podcast, so.

Yeah, so number one, it's very weird that so many journalists and stuff would be aware of the deputy prime minister having a long-running affair with a member of his staff and not think that that should constitute something they should report on. And part of that is that you keep hearing these people saying around the political spectrum and different politicians and stuff saying well it's this private life and you know what what people do consensually shouldn't matter and everything. Now I've seen a lot of people challenge that by saying well he ran you know he ran the help to run the no campaign in the same-sex

marriage debate. People were saying well you know he wanted to be involved in what I do behind closed doors. He wanted to moralize about whether or not, you know, what kind of relationship I'm allowed to have. And I'm kind of like, I absolutely understand people's relative glee in that in saying like, well, fuck this guy. This is how he treated me and people like me. And now he's getting a big dose of it, so I don't want to let him off the hook. I totally understand that.

I don't necessarily think that that's kind of the driving issue here. I'm surprised that there aren't as many people in the context of as a workplace issue. Yeah, that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th th th th th th th th thus thus thus thus thus thus is thus is is thus is thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. This is is is is thi. This is is is thi. This is is is thi. This is is is is thi. This is is is is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi's is thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi in the public sphere talking about it in the context of as a workplace issue. Yeah that's a hundred percent the issue here for me because yeah it's not his position on same-sex marriage was obviously he was against it he ended up abstaining instead of voting but he was never he never quite very clearly was like, hey, family values. The one sound bite we do have of him talking about it was that completely incomprehensible insane thing that sounded like he was saying, hey, if we get gay marriage, I won't be able to marry my daughters anymore. Oh, it was, yeah, where he was like, I, if be able to marry my daughters anymore. Oh, it was, yeah, where he was like, if in order to keep my four daughters safe, I must

be able to marry them off to a man, and if gay people can get married, they'll no longer have that. Yes. It was like, it was very weird and very confusing. So it's not like a very clear through line. It would have really been good if there was a gotcha of him being like Hey, it's about family values, and then he's like also I'm horny as fuck. That would have been very funny I cannot stop fucking But instead we're left with this shitty middle ground and like, you know, it's it is it's insanely funny that he had an affair but It is, it's insanely funny that he had an affair, but, you know, if it was any, I don't know,

just the idea of a Polish being brought down for the fact that I had an affair is not, doesn't sit 100% well with me, but the fact that he was having sex with a member of his staff, like, that's just fucking, like, workplace 101, like, lesson one, don't fuck a co-worker. Listen two really, really do not fuck someone that is in a less powerful position than you. Yep. Yeah, that's the thing. It's pretty cut and dry, black and white in a lot of workplaces. I would have thought that, you know, anybody, anybody working for, well, wait a second, how does that work? Are people who work for, say, someone of you who is a direct staffer to Barnaby Joyce or whoever? Is that person a... They're an employee of the office, I believe? And not the political party. Yes. Folks, if you're out there listening right now and you're smarter than us, like I know a lot

of you are, please let us know, whether or not somebody who is like an aid or a staffer to a minister or a political leader or whoever, are they hired by the political party or do they just come with the office? It's not party money. Like it is government money I'm relatively certain but I don't think they're like a civil servant. I don't know. We're smarter people than us. Let us know how wrong we are. Sound off in the comments. Yes. But the point remains though that, you know, again, often what you hear from politicians when they talk about how they should get paid more and how they should have greater access to travel allowance and entitlements and all that kind of stuff. The line they often run is, you know, well, um, well you want, you want these people who are the best thi. the the the the th thi people thi people thi people thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi the the the the the the the the the the the point the point thi the point thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the point the point the point the point the point the point the point the point the point the point the point the point the point the point the point the point and entitlements and all that kind of stuff. The line they often run is, you know, well, you want these people who are the best and

brightest captains of industry and we could be out there working in private industries for three times as much money, but out of the goodness of our hearts, we'll grift you instead. But this, like this shit wouldn't fly in a corporate environment. No, absolutely not. It wouldn't fly for your just standard public servant. You would likely sack both of these people if you found out that have been going on or they would be quietly moved to other positions? Yeah, generally, even in the, even in the best case scenario for those people, I think, they would say, oh, we'll, oh, we'll, they'd say, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. thi, thi, that, that, th. th, th. that, thi, that, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th. th, th. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they, they th. they they they th. thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they wouldn't, it wouldn't, it wouldn'tthe best case scenario for those people, I think they would say, oh, we know about this now, you work in this department now, and you need to find

a job somewhere else. That would generally be the best case sort of thing. But yeah, it's interesting how few commentators seem to be talking about that as opposed to the idea of granting Barnaby Joyce privacy for these affairs in this difficult time and all that sort of thing out of the goodness of our hearts as opposed to the idea that yeah, he's just engaged in conduct in the workplace that is completely unacceptable. And I'm in my head, I'm try to give him the benefit of the doubt. You know, people are fucking stupid when it comes to sex and attraction and all that nonsense.

And I'm sure maybe they fell crazily in love and it was an epic emotional experience beyond anything you'd ever Thought could possibly happen and it was so Overwhelming and romantic that they just had to go with it Hold on aside. Can I get you to pause that right there and say if you are an international listener who does not know what Barnaby Joyce looks like pause the show at this point search for a picture of him and then try to transplant what Ben was just describing. Surely the episode image is going to be just the biggest reddest Barnaby Joyce face we can

find, of which there are many. Oh God, it'll just be a picture of a beetroot. Now, like you said Ben, perhaps that was the case, perhaps it was a world-wi romance. There was a wild attraction they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they absolutely they absolutely they absolutely they absolutely they absolutely they absolutely they absolutely they absolutely they absolutely they they they absolutely they they they they they absolutely absolutely absolutely they're they're they're they're they're they they they they're they they're they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just they're they're they're they're they're they they're they're they're they're they're absolutely. they're absolutely. they was the case. Perhaps it was a whirlwind romance. There was wild attraction there. They absolutely couldn't stop themselves. They tried to stay away, but the stars were crossed, etc. etc. That version of events doesn't really jive with the fact that it had apparently gone on for a very long time. Months, if not years.

He had only just announced, as you said, he only just announced his separation at the end of last year. His new lady friend is heavily, heavily pregnant. It's clearly all been on for a very long time. And this leads me to the sort of second part of what I feel should be, I guess, more upsetting to both journalists and members of the public. There is the fact that it was a workplace issue, but there's also the fact that, to my mind,

it's very difficult to look at the timeline of events here and not feel that the way this news has been released has been very carefully stage managed to work around the by-election in New England and basically to have the whole thing roll out so that he got to he got to announce it and say I take full responsibility and I'm not proud of myself and all that sort of thing but only at a time when once again his political fortunes were completely secure. Like we said it's it's apparently been an open secret. Journalists have all been aware of it.

It's gone on for a long time. There were a lot of rumblings for a really long time that he basically just didn't live in his home anymore, that his wife had thrown him out, that she was sick of helping him cover up for this affair, all that kind of thing. Yet, none of this became public. When he did get Section 40 forward and for some reason didn't resign like so many other people had to, but he did get to hang out until they had the by-election in his seat. He basically barely appeared in public during that campaign.

I think he had a very strong polling lead, but he pretty much didn't appear in public in his electorate during that campaign. Apparently because his own campaign was so worried that his own family members were going to turn up at events and publicly ruin them. There I've definitely seen a lot of tweets to the effect that his own daughter was chasing him up Peel Street, which I'm sure is a street in Tamariff, yelling about how he was having an affair with a megaphone. So that all damaged things to my mind.

Yeah, yeah, it seems like everybody was very aware. That could have been pretty damaging. But again, that was only ever referred to in the loosest of terms, the vaguest of innuendos, even though, as we've said, after the fact, it's pretty clear that everybody knew about it. He has then won his by-election, because I think that like Tony Windsor wound up not running against him because he himself had been smeared so much in the last campaign against Barnaby Joyce about his marriage, oddly enough, it seems like Tony Windsor's private life is okay to campaign on, but anyway.

So yeah, he won his by-election, made his triumphant return, acting like he'd been thoroughly vindicated even though he wasn't actually eligible to be elected when he was, but whatever. And yeah, and then he came back in, as you said, announced his separation long after the fact during the same-sex marriage debate, when I think it's pretty safe to say that he got to get it out, but the news cycle swept it away because the, you know, the news was going absolutely bananas at that point when all of that was happening. And you know, now finally, well after the fact, it's been released in public and he gets to come out and say, oh, it's true, it's true, I did have an affair for fucking ages. Look at this nine-month pregnant lady that I just had an affair for fucking ages.

Look at this nine-month pregnant lady that I just had an affair with. Yeah, so like that's part of what just really bothers me about the whole thing is that it just seems that like I'm not, I'm not one of these like Twitter boomers who's all, oh, every journalist is bought and sold by the Murdoch media and is deliberately playing a part in this, but like it really does, the entire thing really does have the air of. He knew full well that due to those standing arrangements, no journalists would actually say this is what's going on with him, and he just stage managed the entire thing accordingly around that. Yep. I'm just going to go ahead and say that I think those conventions are shitty. I don't know, I think if whatever your conduct you're doing in private life, I think that if that presents any kind

of danger to anybody that that should be able to be discussed I think ifthat if that presents any kind of danger to anybody, that that should be able to be discussed, I think if what you're doing is, you know, inappropriate conduct or anything, which as we've said, I think that would have been under the guise of workplace conduct, then that should be open for discussion. I think if you are, you know, one of the leaders of the party which has made its entire bread and butter out of opposing same-sex marriage on the basis of the sanctity of marriage and how marriage will be ruined for all the well-behaved straits if this goes through, then yeah, I do think your own infidelity and apparent, you know, carelessness for your own marriage, it kind of does become a topic of conversation.

Absolutely. The important thing is, the important thing is that Barnaby did not suffer any consequences and he's totally fine now. Correct. Yeah, I think the, uh, the only consequence you have to experience was seven and a half minutes of absolute torture on ABC 730 last night. As he said the same sentence over and over to some very pointed questions from Lee Sales. She would ask very specific questions about whether there was misconduct with the staff person, whether taxpayer funds was subsidizing time that they spent together and he would just answer well I think private life should remain private every time apparently he said the word private 31 times in that interview. Jesus. It was really weird. thi thi to thi thi to the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi thii thi thi to to to to to to. Apparently he said the word private 31 times in that interview.

Jesus. It was really weird. He described the end of his marriage as the greatest failure of his life, which is kind of weird. But one of the stranger things is that he, he, so Lee directly asked him, you know, people have been accusing you of being a hypocrite because of your stance on blah, blah, blah, and this, blah, blah, and he just said, no, absolutely not, you know, just because my marriage didn't work out, blah, blah, blah, blah. He kept framing it as if some external circumstance made his marriage fall apart. Not that he's a horny man.

Continuing his affair. Yes. Yes. Yeah, there's a huge difference between, you know, you're at the Christmas party and you get to Hammond and Barnaby and his staff are fucking the copy room or whatever, and the next day while they're blisteringly hung over, they both go, oh no, what are we done? Versus like, I continue to conduct a long-term affair over the course of years. Because it basically sounds like he had his wife and four daughters in his electorate, and he had his Canberra wife. That's essentially what it sounds like. So, I mean, for at least a little period, we were wrong about having multiple families

being dead. Oh yeah, yeah, well. He was living the dream. Just, just for a time, just for a time there. Well, yeah, and as I have heard other people say, and I completely agree. It's, it is a shame and it is complete and not a bullshit to see, you know, journalists talking to, again, the deputy prime minister, when the prime minister goes overseas to do something, this guy is the leader of the country. And he horny. And, and no one has, has sort of put it to him

in the context we are talking about of, you know, like he said, he keeps going, oh, just because my marriage didn't work out, I'm not perfect and it's, or what a regret, all that kind of thing. It's almost like his marriage didn't work out because of a series of choices he made as an adult, as a, yeah, like, just as a as a consenting adult went through and made a series of choices and continued to make and stick by those choices. Like I said, it's not a one-night stand. It's just continuing to essentially have a second partner and know that that's going on.

And obviously having it get to a point where he's gone, it seems like the time on this whole thing is just about up. I'm going to have to figure out how to gracefully exit my actual marriage. But no, nobody actually says that to him. They'd just go, how are things in your private life? And he goes, I'd rather not get into into into into to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get their their their their their their... their, their, their, their, their, the their, the the the the the the the the the the the a the a the a the a the a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a the.a, how are things in your private life? And he goes, I'd rather not get into, I'd rather not get into the accidental implosion of my marriage. I mean, the big takeaway from all this is that none of this would have been an issue if he had embraced the Polly lifestyle. Hmm, yeah, it's true. Well, look, you're gonna have to start campaigning for that because, while, while we to to, w we to, w we to, w we to, w's true. It's true. Well, look, you're going to have to start campaigning

for that because, while we do have marriage equality now, you can't be married to multiple people, can you? I don't believe so. No, I've not checked. But, also... Because as a staunch Catholic, he can't just be in a polyrelationship. He's got to be polygamous. He needs multiple Y. That actually just was going to lead into the next point that I was going to make was that, uh, were they, what's going on with this contraception method here? Where they just like, fuck it.

Who cares? Because like, all right, I've been thinking about this. It's not like, I mean, I'm not, you got two kids, so you're kind of an expert on this one, but it's not like, you strike rate for getting pregnant, not even close to 100%. It's not like, oops, the condom broke. My first one was. My first one absolutely was. What? One time and then Ellen was pregnant.

That's it. We, we got married. You can trace it back to a single time that you had sex and you absolutely know for sure. I can trace it back to the week after we got married. But surely that's like 20 instances, right, on your honeymoon. I don't know about 20. The week after you're married is your honeymoon. It's the horny moon as we call it. And you'll say you could track your, you could track your child back to a single instance in the week, in the week following your marriage, which is your honeymoon. It was probably the first one. It was one instance of sex that took a week.

All right, but my point is, so you guys at that stage, you were having unprotected sex throughout your honeymoon week. Well look I still agree with your your central thing to see which is we made it we made a we made a conscious decision to say well it doesn't matter now if we get pregnant. Okay so my point is he's a middle-aged man I don't she's much younger than the man actually I think she's in in like mid-30s whatever it's not like one time... 20 years younger than him. It's not, it. So, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, th, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look, look's much younger than the man, actually. I think she's in her like mid-30s, whatever. It's not like one time... 20 years younger than him. It's not like one time the condom broke or he didn't pull out or some shit happened. And that was like a a mistake

that they made and then boom, that's it. Like surely they have just got to be being super careless. Which means you really got a picture Barnaby Joyce with his mistress, knowing that it would destroy his entire life being like, multiple times, we're like, fuck it, we're raw dogged. Yeah. Oh, look, but we all know it's sexier when there's a bit of risk involved, don't we? Do not encourage that on this podcast. Everybody, please, use contraception. It's not sexier. It's unsafe. Hey, the risk doesn't have to be around the contraception. It can be anything. You can be anything you like.

Someone could be putting a gun at your head. Also, don't David Carridine yourself for anything, folks. Or Michael Hutchins, if you'd like an Australian reference. Anyway, let's not list everyone that... I can only think of two, honestly. So, yeah, no, I can, well, I completely agree that Barnaby was raw dog in it. But... agree that Barnaby was raw dog in it. But multiple times surely. It's probably got a latex allergy. Well you can get the latex free ones only cost like three

bucks more. You got to keep in mind he's charging all of this to the corporate accounts. So I've got to fly under the radar. Oh do. Yeah well that's it was probably an expense of scandal and they said oh oh, what's all this? And he was like, oh, I'll pay for that. Sorry, that's been erroneously reported, which is, as we all know what every politician gets to say. They get to go, oh, I didn't realize that I reported all my latex-free condoms on there. I'll pay for them. And then from then on he he he he he he he he he he he tho, he tho, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was like, th, I'll pay for them. And then from then on he was like- Maybe this is what broke the story. People like, hey, why is your weekly budget $3 up? That's weird, all the other line items match? Hey, interesting. Although, latex allergy is an acquired allergy. You can get it from continued

exposed to latex. So, hmm, yeah, lots of service workers get it from wearing latex gloves every day. You actually get more illogic to it over time. Well, look, either way, clearly he was bought undone by too much fucking, one way or the other. Who among us? Me? Yeah. Well, Theo. It's okay. I understand.

I think another thing that we've learned is that it's just reinforced yet again that there is effectively nothing that an Australian politician can do that will actually have any kind of negative impact on their career. Well, I guess they weren't technically a politician, but I think the, I'm tiddy fucking your mother. Oh, that's great. That might have undone someone. For anyone who's not familiar with this one, we ran over on a previous episode. We listed a bunch of sexy Australian political scandals. One of them was a guy who became the police minister. Yeah. Became the police minister for about three days before he was at a work function,

had taken off his shirt while hammered and was gyrating against the chest of a female colleague. He then turned to that woman's adult daughter and said, hey look, I'm tiddy fucking your mother. Cool. Which, what a line, what a line. It's the fact that he said, mother. It's not mum. Well, he's shown respect. You show respect. Yeah, I mean, Yeah, I mean,

Yeah, the number of expenses scandals that there have been in Australia where people get caught just lifting, you know, $15,000 to go to the grand final of the footy or whatever, and then they get caught and they go. Forking out thousands and thousands of dollars for helicopter rides or plane trips for 45 minute drives. Well there you go, Bromwom Bishop, the former speaker of the house, Bromboon Bishop was one of the very, very, very few scalps to be claimed by an expense of scandal. And that was just a case of how extreme it had to get. Barnaby's been caught up in one of these before, actually. From memory. I believe he charted a plane flight for something that's about a

45-minute drive. Well see I'm not so hot on that one because he... Ah yeah it was a 45-minute drive wasn't. I was going to say... I'm pretty sure that this was one of the first articles I wrote for pedestrian. I'm pretty sure there, I think there is a bit of debate around, around MPs for rural electorates charging for charter flights and stuff like that because not everywhere is actually accessible by car or by commercial flights, although, as you said in this case, it was for some way that was 45 minutes away. He was also caught up in, he went to mining magnate and big-time liberal national donor Gina Reinhartz,

her wedding or her daughter's wedding in India, and charged taxpayers for the flights back. I think he, and again, all that happens is the people say why the fuck are we paying for that and he goes whoops I guess I'll pay for it the end and as we all know if somebody turned around to one of us and said I'm gonna need you to pay 15,000 dollars for something by tomorrow to avoid any bother we'd all be like sure he's $15,000 no worries. Yeah, I could do that Well with the help of our patrons, yeah patrons, please if you're listening to this and you're not a patron Help pay for our scandals. We don't have any yet, but we'd like to start having them. Yes. I love scandals. What sort of scandal would you have the thooo. I think? I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. theeea. theea. thea. theea. thea. thea. thea. thea. theea. thea. theea. the. the. them. Yes, I love scandals. What sort of scandal would you have Theo if you're going to have

them? I think I'd treat myself to some like really nice like moleskin notepads. I'm picturing Theo's marriage, Theo's marriage collapsing because it turns out he's been having a long-term affair with Barnaby Joyce. Wow, that's a good one. God, can you imagine? It would be almost worth it. I think, honestly, my reading is that Caitlin would be so impressed that you managed to pull it off that she couldn't even be angry with you. Uh, she would absolutely be infuriated. Well, apparently you know your wife better than I do. Yeah, I think, um, well, look, if there's one thing we can say it's that, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, that, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, that, that, that, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, think, well look, if there's one thing we can say, it's that Barnaby Joyce has four children. Four children, a wife, somehow managed to conduct a long-term affair,

and that says to me, he was... I think about actually four and two-thirds children at the moment. Yeah. But his, his old wife is only responsible for four of them. I would just say that that's a pretty strong sign to me that he is not helping out with like the housework or or the kids in any way because who has got time to conduct a long-running affair? Shall we, I don't want to make this call Rashley so I'll see if you two agree with this..... th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th the th th the to th thi the the to agree with thi thi the thi the thi the thi thi their thi thi thi thi hea hea his hea his their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. to thi tip. tip. tip. today thoooooooo. the. the. thi thi thi thi thi thi th time to conduct a long-running affair? Shall we, I don't want to make this call Rashley, so I'll see if you two agree with this before we make an official declaration of the podcast. Barnaby Joyce, not woke. Yeah, I think I can get behind that.

Barnaby Joyce, not woke. Let's say so. Oh, rough. Scathing indictment handed down by the show. Do you? Do you? Let's say so. Yeah. Rough. Scathing indictment handed down by the show. That's official Punta Vista Cannon from now on. Barnaby Joyce, not a feminist. You heard it here first, folks. It's an exclusive. Yeah, I don't think anyone's bothered to say it before.

Yes, yes. So, uh, he'll never be held responsible for anything like all of our politicians and he'll get to do whatever he likes and then at some point of his choosing he'll get to retire on a deliciously large pension forever. I think we should also just before you write this up, definitely note that this is a hugely gendered thing. A lot of people have obviously been making that point, but the roles were reversed and this was a female MP who had gotten knocked up, forgetting from an affair that they were cheating on their partner with four kids with.

She would be 100% instantly ousted from the political system permanently and probably also never get hired anywhere again. Yeah. Yep, I think that's probably a fair assessment. It's a, yeah, it was quite a sad statement as well from Barnaby's soon to be ex-wife, I guess. Yeah, where she basically said, you know, we're all really shattered and everything. And also, like we made an agreement that because his political career was important and everything, I completely put my career on hold to raise our children.

Now here I am at whatever, whatever, I'm going to guess around like 50 or whatever. Just hanging out with before kids and no career prospects. So, thanks Barnaby Joyce. You really did it, your big red horned dog. Big red dickhead. Big angry red dicks, all right. That brings us back to what I guessed on last week's show was asking about. He was asking about something from the week before, which to be honest, I couldn't remember all that well.

The angry red dicks thing? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I recall that. But then I wasn't there at the start of the last episode to talk about that. What a to do. Now that reminds me folks, we are going to be changing our dates, our dates that shows come out on. Date Night with us, Date Night with the Crew. We're just trying to get a little more consistent on the delivery of our bonus episodes to our sweet, beautiful patrons whom we love and we kiss on the mouth and face every night before we go to bed. So from now on, these episodes will be coming out on Mondays.

You might even be hearing this one on a Monday. If everything goes according to plan, you will. It's Monday right now. And... Well, I mean, not everyone listens to it, the instant that it comes out. It's Monday plus however many days it's been since Monday. That could be minus a day if you're in America. Yeah, it's true.

I want you to do the maths. You do actually get that on Sunday. Listener, I want you to look at the date that you're on currently. Then I want you to subtract how many days after Monday, the 11th I believe it's that. that. that's. that's. th, it's. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's th, it's to be to you to subtract how many days after Monday the 11th I believe it's going to be, or the 12th, and then do that translation and then instead of us saying hopefully it's Monday, say hopefully it's that, unless you're in a different time zone which would move you to a different day and then subtract whatever time you need to and hopefully it's that day for you. And bonus episodes will now be coming out on Wednesdays.

Unless you're in America. You gotta do that, Maths. Someone's gotta do it, and I tell you what, it's not gonna be me. Hell yeah, buddy. Oh, just quickly. My partner would like to say hello to everyone from me on the podcast. She just said that to me in a message. Oh, okay. Hello everyone from George. Hi George. No, sorry, no, not to you guys. No, it's to the audience. For fuck sake. Well, I'm... Hello to the audience from George. Can you say to her to her anyway? I, you see her relatively often. You don't, not, not, not, not, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me, to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th the tho, tho, tho, the the, tho, the tho, tho, thoooooooooo-mea, thooooooooo-mea, thoooooooo-mea, thoooo' the podcast to the audience from George. Can you say all to her anyway? You see her relatively often you don't need to say hi to her.

Okay I didn't realize there was a limit but yeah. Look taking into account that the George is saying hi to the audience just on behalf of herself to the audience so that's been done. That's done and dusted. All right. This is a separate now. Additionally to that that that that that that that that that that that to that to that to the to the to the the the to the to to the to the the to the to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to the audience the the to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the audience. I the audience. I the audience. I the audience. I the audience. I the audience. I th. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I the. I the. I th. I th. I audience. So that's that's been done. That's done and dusted. All right. This is a separate now. Additionally to that, I would like to say hi to her. So if you can send a message to George that says Andrew and Theo say hi. No, no, no, no, no, I don't put me on the same message. You want your own message. Jesus. All right. I've written Andrew says hello. Theo. Do you want to say to to to to to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to say to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. to say. I. to say. I. Yeah. Jesus Christ. All right, I've written, Andrew says hello. Theo, do you want to say hello or hi or... Give her a hey. Yeah, it says hey.

Make me sound formal now. Are you sending these in two separate messages? Yeah, two separate lines. It's just been seen. Um, it doesn't appear to be typing. It's great. this. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. toe. toe. thiiii. toe. toe. toe. toe. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to be typing. It's great. This is a cliffhanger for the episode. More on this says it unfolds, folks. All right.

All right. She's not typing. I can't help you. Oh, she is typing. I'm sorry. We're back. The three little dots are doing their wavy dance. She's not a very fast typer. Oh, she just said, where the fuck is my Gidea from Lucy? Oh, well, look, good question.

I'm going to abandon this bit because I can't type fast enough with my left hand to respond to her and then convey it back. It's good. I feel like this bit is thoroughly worn out. It's welcome. Was it ever welcome? Anyway, folks, that's probably about all we have time for today. I can't believe we didn't get to get into the rocket man. Into rocket man. He's really one of my favorites.

We've run out of time. Look, we've got five minutes. Can I bash out a quick summary of his adventures? Absolutely. All right. Pound it out, then. Don't say that. So there's... Pound out a hot five for us, will you? There's a man, his name is Mad Mike Hughes. He is a stuntman.

And he made headlines in, I believe, November of last year, uh, when he said that he was going to fly a rocket that he built himself up into the sky in the service of flat-earth truth-orism. So at the time that it was reported, everyone was like, this guy's going, I think it was, I was not that high. 1.6, no, 549 meters in the air was this planned trajectory. And everyone's like, hey man, you can't see the curvature of the earth until you're about 30 times higher than that. And he was like, shut the fuck up. But he may... He should have said, there is no curvature shut the fuck up. But he made...

You know what he should have said? There is no cover the earth. Oh, that would have been a much better shot him right down, yeah. So the way this sort of came about is that before he was into flat earth stuff, uh, he had a kickstarter for $150,000 and he made $310 from it. So he didn't have enough money to make the rocket, but all of a sudden he got this money from Flat Earth research, a flat earth organization, and it was enough for him to build a rocket, and it suddenly became a flat earth thing.

So a cynics reading of this situation would be that he saw a source of money, flat-earth people, and he decided, cool, I get to do my rocket, whatever, suddenly I'm a flat-earth guy. But he did seem to because the Bureau of Land Management said to him, hey man, you absolutely cannot fly your homemade rocket through public lands. And he was like, ah shit. So it came up with another plan. He found a small bit of private land in California.

I can't quite remember where. But it was a bit of private land, so he was fine to do the launch on there, and he just, and boy, California was where it was. And he announced that he was going to go straight up this time instead of in a parabolic arc. Although of course, as Theo would probably clarify, you could still describe the way he traveled with a parabola, but that's fine. Wow, that's really astute. Mm-hmm. So, he announced that he was going to do this trip and his second one, and he got a lot of criticism because people do it from the last time, and now, th, th, and, th, th, and, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, and now, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thro, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, throooooooo, to to thi, thoooooooooo, thee, thi, thi, thi,to do this trip, and his second one, and he got a lot of criticism, because people do it from the last time, and now it's a bit of a running joke, that people will comment on his shit with stuff like pictures of the curvature of the earth

or whatever, and he is very active on Facebook, and he replies to all of these people, and it is absolutely incredible. So he was telling these people and it is absolutely incredible. So he was telling these people, no, I'm not going up to prove that the Earth is flat. I'm going up to raise awareness so that I can raise the 1.8 to 2 million USD required for him to do a manned spaceflight later in the year. And is he also going to make that rocket? He's not clarified on that. But a lot of people would come in to go to his Facebook being like, hey, you know, for like

200 bucks, you can basically just strap like a GoPro to like a really really high altitude weather balloon or whatever and one of his responses to this really succinctly sort of defines his worldview. Brian it is all about a manned privateer flightto the edge of space. If you cannot get your mind around flat earth, then go put your head back in the sand, dude. This is not the only time I've been at the leading edge of something. I've revolutionized NASCAR. I am the world's top limo driver, and I have the only man in history to design and build, then launch myself and my own rocket. So fly your drones. Oh, I think they should call him smart Mike. I think they should.

Normal mic, normal mic use. Hang on, we're just going to blast back the, uh, what is the limo driver? He is the world's top limo driver. And this is not, oh yeah. By any stretch of the imagination, the first time that he has made this claim, he's repeatedly claimed to be the world's top limo driver. How do they rank... Oh fuck, I want to know the criteria around them. The metrics, most trips, the most customer satisfaction.

Who's the officiating body of... I don't think it's an official title, but he seems very convinced of it. Maybe someone got him a mug. This just really reminds me of the time I was at like a rural McDonald's and I had this tiny roundabout like on the corner of the block where McDonald's was and a limo had tried to go through it and got stuck on the roundabout. Then they started doing the Austin Powers reverse backwards, go forwards. reverse backwards, go forwards. The million point turn.

For like five minutes. Oh, that's good content. That's so good. Oh, my goodness. Well, um, so the final update on this is that three or four days ago, he, all the press arrived, he got on his rocket, you went to take off and the thing didn't work. It turns out that he had, there was a bung actuator on it. Actuator was fucked up, but he reckons he's going to fix it.

It's basically ready to go. He can't, it could happen within the week, but he's not super sure because he is currently busy silling the governor, the franchise tax board, the legal department for the franchise tax board, the attorney general of California and Senator Kamala Harris. He's not made clear why he's doing that, but in a small footnote on the Facebook post, in which he said that. So this is quite confusing because it was a Facebook post without a picture attached to it,

but there's a sentence in there that says, also, this picture is the beginning paperwork to run for governor in the once great state of California. So in top of him suing all those people, he's also running for governor of the state of California in the 2018 governatorial election. What a man. What a man. Just, I respect the hustle. I respect everything about him.

You watch all these videos and he's very earnest. Uh, I frankly, I'm in love with him and I really hope that when he dies from his rocket exploding him directly into the earth, he has a big old smile on his face. I, I really like that, um, everything that I, I've, I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I've, I, I respect that I respect that I respect that I respect, I respect that I respect that I respect, I respect, I respect, I respect, I respect, I respect, I respect, I respect, I respect, I respect, I respect, I respect, I respect, I respect, I've their their their their their their their their their that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've that I've th. I've thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that I've thi thi thi that I've thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi old smile on his face. I really like that everything that I've ever heard about this guy, nobody has ever like given any impression of expecting any other outcome than Mike exploding when he tries to take off in his rocket. 100% he's going to die. Yeah.

Yep, there's absolutely no kind of like, ooh, let's see what happens. We all know what's going to happen. Yeah. He is going to uncle and aunt Beru himself. Which leads to this week's crime pass. You are legally allowed to fly a homemade rocket on public lands, federal land, whatever the Australian equivalent is of Bureau of Land Management Land.

Get in your rocket, launch yourself at 800 kilometers an hour, directly up or across or any direction you like. Godspeed, I'll see you in Valhalla. If you feel like doing a Wiley Coyote rocket on the train tracks kind of deal, just go for it. Whatever you feel really. If you want to strap the rocket to your back, put on a pair of skateboards, set up a ramp if that's the most efficient way for you to get up high, go for it. If you want to tie the road the road the road the road the road the road the road the road the road the road the road the road the road the road road road the road road road road road road the road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road road to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that's the most efficient way for you to get up high, go for it. If you want to tie the roadrunner to a rocket but then had the roadrunner slip

the bonds of the rope and attach you to the rocket and then you're stuffed in the sky mugging at the camera sort of like how did this happen? Go nuts. Yeah. And look, before before we duck, I'm gonna pull one question from the mail back here. And non-patrons should keep this question in mind. Friend of the show Nick Cornish asks, Will Theo have to get the Walluigi tattoo, since he wasn't on the Buntavista crew, when the gold tears were decided? Oh, I was talking to the people at work about this yesterday, because we were talking about

Wailuji for some reason. I said, hey, we have this thing on our Patreon for the podcast. And then it only occurred to me as I was explaining it, that Theo does not have any tattoos. It's not the sort of person that would get tattoos, and would get tattoos tattoos tattoos tattoos the tatoos, and would get tattoos, and would get the tho, and would get tho, and would tho, and would tho, and would probably tho, and would probably tho, and would probably tho, and would probably tho, and would probably tho, tho, tho, tho, thatu, thus, thus, thus, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the sort the sort the sort the sort the sort the sort the sort the sort tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the sort thi, the sort the sort the thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thatu, thatu, thatu.a.i. Weauooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, thatu, thatu, th would get tattoos and would probably be kicked out of home by his wife if he came home with a Walloigi tattoo. God, I'm so scared. You have to do it. So for people who are unaware, on our Patreon, we have several different tieers of goals for types of content we will start producing once we hit certain, you know, X dollar amounts per

month in pledges from our patrons. And the very top tier that we have is that each member of the cast will get a tattoo of strange Nintendo freakshow character, Wailuiji. And yeah, so Theo wasn't on board when that was set up, but now he is, and you know, his names on the Patreon and also that goal is on the Patreon. So I don't know, I feel like we can all just draw a line straight between those two things. We're not silly. You've been taking that cash.

It's very true. You can't betray the patrons. Where do you reckon you're going to get the the the the the the the the the the, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, Theo, the the to, the the the the the the the the the the the patrons. Where do you reckon you're going to get it for you? This is a nightmare to me. I've thought about this. I'm thinking like, um... I was literally thinking about this on the bus ride to work this morning. I'm thinking, so far I've got my hip.

Okay. Classic, classic no-show spot. I won't get it on your ass. Yeah, I thought little Wailuji head on the butt would be pretty good. Well, I can't, all right, so if I was going to get it, I want the like, Wailuichi from Mario Kart, like, barely able to step into a cart that's just way too small for him with his monstrous spider legs. You want the longest toiluigi? Yep.

The long boy. Yeah. But yes, I will lose sleep about this as the Patrion crawls inexcruly towards that goal. So, hmm. I, I want to get one towards that goal. So. I want to get one by a friend of the show, cartoonist Brandon Reese. Oh, God, that would be so good. Yep, he does a delightful while Luigi floating through space with it.

I'm going to Google that. All right, I'm not allowed him with his dick out. Let's just draw that line. So for all those reasons more, if you are not currently, a patron, you can get on over to Patreon.com forward slash Punta Vista. And sign up if you would like to support the show, get additional episodes now coming out on Wednesdays, possibly Tuesdays depending on where in the world you live. And if, yeah, that too, that too.

Look, time is a funny thing, you know. And of course, if you would like to contribute to our number one biggest overarching goal of all just having to get a really weird tattoo of Wail Luigi. And there you have it. Mine is going to get a really weird tattoo of Wail Luigi. Yep. And there you have it, folks. There you have it. Mine is going to be sick. That's going to be really fucking good.

I'm going to get him done as religious iconography, and it's going to fucking kick ass. Nice. Nice. Very into that. So on that note, folks, we'll leave you to it. Leave you with all of the horrifying mental images that we've left you this week of Barnaby Joyce having an affair. While Luigi floating through space with his dick out, a rocket man exploding in the sky. But there's also positive images too. A newborn baby, the world's greatest limo driver. There's all kinds of nice things you can think about too. This is like the fucking end of an of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of the of of the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi this thi this this this this this this this this this this this this this this thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th thi th thi th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii thi thi thi greatest limo driver. There's all kinds of nice things

you can think about too. This is like the fucking end of an art house movie where they're trying to convey the message that life is full of good and bad things. All right, folks. That's it for us this week. We'll see you over on the bonus episode, our sweet patrons. So long. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye-bye.

And you can't describe things straight up and down with a parabola that's, um, parabola needs like a quotient to the second power. Oh, what, you fucking- That's absolutely absurd. You're suggesting that, no, because that way it would have had no lateral movement, which would not happen in any system Or you said straight up Oh fuck off

I'm just talking about actual physical system No, that's completely