Boonta Vista - EPISODE 343: Nobody Wants A Blair Witch Sandwich

Episode Date: April 22, 2024

Lucy, Theo, and Andrew bring you: Hitting the wrongest button a car has, monitoring activity in the deep, trading cryptic gifts with Bigfoot, stealing an ATM for peanuts, and stealing a new friend from Leipzig Zoo. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to Wundermister episode. Hello, Shenaiv too. It's a lot of my phone. Welcome to Woodivista episode... Just loat. Just loat! Welcome to Woodvista, episode 343. My name is Andrew, and I'm not having the best day. My bus was late this morning. The barista got my order wrong, but I'm way

too nice to say anything about it. And also I'm currently being sealed into an abandoned railway tunnel with bricks and mortar. I'll be honest, it kind of sucks. It takes a lot longer than you'd think to brick up and opening this size, and I am getting bored. Sitting here for fucking ages. With me, also bound to a chair with rope that's tight enough to turn his hands purple, Theo. Hey man. You get a bit over it by now? You ever get those days? Yeah, and you're like, oh, I just go back to bed. Yeah, how about you let me out of the chair and I go back to bed. Yeah, how about like, I can just hop over that wall because it's only bricked up to our knees. to the the to be. to be, the to be, th. th. th. to, th. to, th. th. th. th. to, th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. to, th, th. th. th. to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, to, to, to, to-a. toe. toea. toean, toea. toean, toe. toe. toe. toe. the. the. th it's only bricked up to our knees now. Uh, I can... Absolutely. I can skip straight past the bus driver. I called Dad when I said goodbye to. I got straight back to bed.

It's raining outside. I could be so cozy in there right now. You could, you know? And if you're going to like tie me to a chair, why not a comfortable one? You know? Yeah. Don't need one of these wooden arse chairs from a primary school that looks like you took it from? Oh the bloody the stools they'd make you sit on at the pub. Am I right? Oh you are right. What's it two two different places recently where I ended up sitting on like a bench, bench seating that was just like a very thin cushion on just a flat wooden bench. Yeah. I started feeling that over 30s thing.

I started doing that thing around like, oh, I don't want to go there. Their seats are really uncomfortable. The seats are not good. I can't sit on those for too long. Yeah. All my shit hurts already. I'm like coming in and a disadvantage. Yeah. Yes, that's right. You heard you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you that's you. that's you. that's you. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. that's that's th. th. that. that's that's that's that's. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm that. I'm. I'm that. I'm. I'm that. I'm. I'm. I'm. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm th. Yes, that's right. You heard her, folks, leading the angry townsfolk and placing brick after brick in the ever-shrinking opening with a sense of purpose and calm that can only be described as terrifying. It's Lucy.

Hi, I feel great. Like I'm having a great day. Yeah, I'm also feeling like you you guys are being really kind of ungrateful. There's a whole cask of a Montiardo in there. I can't reach it. Give me a big straw, maybe. I'll get you a big straw. I can't drink a whole cask either. Not a long enough timeline. You're being there a while. You should, yeah, you just ration it a little bit.

Oh, I'm going to die quick. Yeah, I'm having a great day. This is one of the best days I've ever had actually. You know those days where everything just goes right for you? Oh, you just ticking stuff off your tick to-do list, like, okay, brick up the boys? Yeah. What else we got? I feel like motivated. Yeah. Every time I like a video game, and it's just like Quest Complete,

and I get like a gym. Dancing bear on it. Not that I'd know. I'm not getting fucking anything done to this. Every attempt that I make to utilize some system to help me like, just do some stuff. I try it out and then one day later. I'm like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, like, that's like, that's like, like, that's like, like, that's like, that's like, like, that's like, like, that's like, like, like, that's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, like, like,. I try it out and then one day later. I'm like that's not working. That's not working. Like damn, it must be the apps that have something wrong with them.

It must be all these apps are broken. It has taken me so long and I'm talking like almost two decades long to remember to look at my to do list instead of just sitting in my chair like staring at the wall going like what the fuck am I supposed to do now? That's not an app I'm gonna open on my phone like there are because there are other apps on my there are other apps and you know how to get there with your thumb they're in like the front page. Yeah I put my favorites on the home screen. Oh what's in there? Is Discord who's yelling at us today? Uh, trying to manage your tasks while being bricked into an abandoned

railway tunnel. It's hard. You know, everybody give yourself a break because Po Buddy's Nerfect, you know? It's time for Po'Body's Nerfact. Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Pobody's Nerfect, no, whoopi's Nerfect, no, Whoa, Woopsy, Daze, eh, eh, yeah, Yeah, P, nobody's never fit. No, oh, oh. Oh. From News 12 Long Island, do I have to have seen News 11? Oh, oh. Oh, Andrew. We have to put the comedian of the week stinger back on the board. We do.

If it goes away for too long, people start yelling at us. They do, and they're like, commit to the bit, play it. Ken won't play it. He doesn't honor the code. He doesn't honor the Bushy don't code. You know, steel, sharpens steel, you have to pummel your mind with the comedian of the week's stinger. Too injured in through way crash after passenger accidentally presses vehicles start slash off button.

Oopsie. Can you do that? Can you? Is it just a button that turns your car off? Yeah, sometimes. You would think in the same way that like, you know, my car's got a, I don't know, it's like a weird little automatic shifter kind of thing that I have not seen in another kind of vehicle, but it's just, it's very like short and stubby. It's a little chode.

Yeah, a little chode. I've got a chode in the, uh, in the new car. Yeah, and you just kind of, you kind of click, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, you kind of, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a little, a the the the the the the th, like, like, th, th, like, th, th, like, th, th a th a the, a the, a little, a the the the thea, a the... the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the click it down into drive, you know, and I would have thought that if I was like doing a hundred kilometers an hour on a highway and I said put it in reverse that the car would probably say no, no, we're not doing that right now. Yeah, I got computers in the way with all that if you try to put on the cameras while you're going over a certain speed. It's like you don't need that. I also thought it would look cool and tried to do it. It would look so cool with the road going past like... But they don't know I remember I was I was driving with my sister and my wife in the car going 100 Kays an hour through like Gatton and I was like, hey, do you reckon I could put it into park?

This is the Toyota Corolla, which did not have computers in it. It was like, could I physically jam it into? Could I chuck it into park? Like, nothing will happen. And they're like yelling at me like, no, you can't put your park's driving on. And for some reason, like, my brain had completely forgotten the fact that if you put it into park, there's like a park gear there and it'll just like Like the car, like the car will stop the car Probably stop but the engine will keep going and like fly out or something. I like but I I completely like my brain just Rejected that as like hey, what if I put it in a park right now?

Sometimes you just get those thoughts. What if hey what if I did th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the thea tog tog tog tog tha tog the the the the the the the the the you just get those thoughts. What if, hey, what if I did push the button? Yeah. You know? Now, I wonder if I can jailbreak my Mitsubishi Atlanta so I can put the cameras on while I'm driving. Absolutely. It's got to be Android in there, right? I guess so. It's something, something shitty. The on-board system, but then you can just have like car play or whatever. Yeah, that's all I need.

Absolutely. Let me have, let me play my games on the little dash computer. You should be a lot of play games on there. That's why you get a Tesla. Yeah. It should be the same, just implement the same thing you use to turn off the cameras when puzzle bubble. What do you reckon would be the most distracting game to play on there? Because I reckon it'd be Minesweeper. Because you gotta get like lean right in, press on the buttons all the time.

It's really little. It's in the original resolution so it's fucking tiny. Yeah. Yeah, mine sweeper would be pretty good. People doing their daily wordles on the highway, you know? People would do their wordles on the highway. They absolutely. Just gotta get my wordles in. That's a highway game, I feel like.

Like you've got it in cruise, everything like, seems pretty cool ahead of you. So, yeah. There's really no risk. Like, it's the safest time to whip your phone out. Yeah. And if it's up on the dash, that's even better, you know, into Chrome. Yes, campaign to have New York Times gaming subscription in your infotainment system. Yeah, just NY-tuzzles. That's all you need. My mom's been playing that connections one. Yeah, Pat's mom told us about connections. I've been playing the connections. Mum's are playing connections. They love playing connections. That's their favorite NYU game. No idea.

Think of four things. Done. Two people were hospitalized as the result of an accident while a passenger caused a vehicle to stall on the threw way in Tuxedo park. State police say the incident occurred when a Chevy SUV driven by 35-year-old Jacob Rottenburg of Highland Mills was traveling northbound in the center lane. You can't be called Rottenberg. Where's your family from? What was your family known for? Oh we're stinky neat. We're kind of the stinkiest guys in any town we move to? It was reported that a passenger in the vehicle, 76-year-old Aaron Malik of Brooklyn,

accidentally press the start slash off button while attempting to adjust the temperature inside the vehicle. He doesn't know how to use the buttons. Just don't poke around. That button is so far out of the way as well. It's like to the steering wheel, isn't it? It is nowhere near you in most cars. It is not in the cluster of things you are generally using to control the heating. Yeah.

He's 76 though. So he's just poking around her. Just stabbing. Just stabbing their, just in there. Stabbing away. The vehicle stalled and nearly came to a complete the to to to to to to to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a to a the to a the to a the the to a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the in their stabbing away. The vehicle stalled and nearly came to a complete stop in the center lane. Oh boy. Don't do that. Meanwhile, 27-year-old Dean Knapp of Brooklyn was unable to avoid colliding with the Chevy. Okay, I found out whose problem it is.

It's his fault. Yeah, it sounds like you weren't at a safe stopping distance. You're driving too close, bitch? And because it doesn't sound like this guy did like the all of a sudden stop. It sounds like the engine turned off. And it kind of slowed down. And it slowed down. So how fucking close to you have to be driving?

It's not his fault. You should be ready for any vehicle in front of you to do emergency braking. I know we've said that you should drive the speed limit, but you should also drive with a safe stopping distance at all times. It doesn't get you there any faster if you're driving closer to them. You're still behind that car. You're still behind the car. You're still behind the car length. If you're on the main to to to to to to to to to to be, to be, the main, to be, the the the the to be, the the th. th. th. th. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, tho. You, tho. tho. You, tho. tho. tho. thr. throoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th car in front of you. Absolutely. That's right, that's right. And if you don't, stop complaining to me while we use the jaws of life to cut you out of the car. The car ahead of me pulled up real quick like,

oh stop. We're gonna go see the other guy first. Did it I say. Did it I unwedge the steering wheel from underneath your ribcage. Hey, shush! Take a little time. It's dangerous for them to drive this slow while like swerving back and forth, like two meters before their tailgate. It's so dangerous the way that they're making me drive right now. Slow down. Screaming out the window, you're making me do this. Yeah. You're putting both of us in danger right now. Yeah, while he like leans out of the window and tries to shoot their tires out with a 44-magnum.

Just calm down on the roads generally. Yeah. Like, just fucking relax. Just relax. Like, I have, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I have, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I think, I think, I think, I think, I think, I tha, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, tha.ea.ea.ea.. Just relax. Like I have, I think probably five years ago, maybe when I turned 30, I embraced the fact that it's not going to kill you if you go 95 and a hundred zone behind somebody. It's not going to get you there like any faster than the amount of time that I waste on my phone when we pull up at the end. Yeah. Just calm. Nothing fucking, nothing really ruffles me.. Maybe, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thir thir thir thir thir to toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo- the the thir the the the th amount of time that I waste on my phone when we pull up at the end. So just calm. Nothing really ruffles me on the roads anymore. I just... You'll get to your destination. If I merge into the left lane to... and that's the slow lane for Americans listening,

to get to like the ramp 2Ks before it comes up. I'm not stressed. Got plenty of time. I'm in my element. I left for the airport with a correct amount of time in case there was more traffic. Yeah. Mm-hmm. We are leaving for the airport hours before our plane is leaving, you know? Yeah, that's because kids love to not walk. Oh yeah, they do. They got their own things going on. Yeah, the leg's a lot shorter. They got whatever it is going on. We have to load those babies up in a trolley now. Hearing about... Give them wheels. There's got to be some people in the audience hearing I just go 95 in a hundred zone and it's like filling them with a blinding white hot rage. So angry.

Yeah, that's making me drive so dangerously. I um, I went to, I went to see a friend of the show Milo Edwards's stand-up when he was in town, which was great. We had a fantastic time. Go and see him if you're in Perth. He's currently in Perth. What's Perth? He's currently in Perth? That man is all over this country. What's Perth? What's Perth? He's way off. He's way off target. He's all the way over there, you know?

And he was being supported by Aidan Jones, who is also great comedian, and he was sort of working out a set where he's like playing a Chopin piece and then talking through the piece by sections. And it was very good but he's talked about classical music and somehow in the course of this set he drops the line poetry, poetry is worthless to the crowd. To this crowd of like Canberra, Unistute type people. And which made me laugh very hard. Made me laugh very hard. And they clarified by saying, sorry, when I say worthless, I mean without value. Does it?

Like, me and Elder were hooting. And there was just like one corner of the room that went like stone silent, you know, and it's very funny to think about someone being filled with like an absolute white-hot fury at the suggestion that like someone else just doesn't isn't feeling poetry, you know? It's a funny thing to get incredibly mad about. It's funny because you're the target of that joke, you know? You're a poet for sure. Yeah, it's like if someone said podcast or worse. Yeah, it's like, it, it's, it's, it's, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi, it's thi, it's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the their their their their the their their their the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thoooo-co-co-c. tho-co' thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th the target of that joke, you know? You're a poet for sure. Yeah. It's like if someone said podcasts are worthless, right? Yeah, I'd be like, yeah, 100% totally. They're just filling in the time. Just relax. Yeah, they're just, you just listen to three

jerkoffs right now. The fourth one is not even here. Not even getting too hard. Not even getting your value. Yeah. Three quarters of a nut. Yeah, you should pay three quarters of nothing for this episode. So Dean Knapp of Brooklyn, who we have identified as wrong in this situation. Dangerous driver. You fucked up. You should be on a list, frankly. The list of people who are cubed inside their car. Oh your legs got all squished up, that's a U problem, brother.

Maybe if you had to maintain a safe distance. And then here's the thing, even if there's a gap, and someone else gets into that gap, move a little further back. Yeah, two car lengths between you and the car in front, you know. Just slow down, brother, brother, brother, brother slow down, brother. He was transported to Garnett Medical Center for evaluation and being told that he's wrong, while Malik was taken to Westchester Medical Center with injuries not considered life-threatening. Well, that's good. No tickets were issued in connection with the incident. Few. Yeah, is there one they should have imprisoned the guy who rear-end to the other guy, I think. Probably.

Is it a crime to like switch the car that you're in off while you're driving? Is there a specific law against it? Yeah. Oh, my car's got to be awake at all hours just to make you happy? What if I've had enough? All right, Theo, quick idea for you. I want to know what you think of this, right? What if, when a driver rear ends another driver,

regardless of the severity of the incident, we engage in new scared, straight program, where we put, like, winch straps around the car doors so that you cannot open the door and get out. We then tow your car to a wrecking facility and start to cube your car with you inside it. Yes. But we only go like 20% of the way to a cube and that's our new scared straight program, you know, to help you understand if you rear our new scared straight program, you know, to help you understand if you rear end somebody going too fast, you will be fully cued.

We should do more scared straight stuff. We should be getting like those real baby dolls and like just making us like people who drive those big stupid ram trucks just like hit one of them and pretend that like they've killed a child. And like the mother is like out there screaming she's wailing on the road but it was like it was just a doll. Did you see the tick-talk of the of the lady who claims she caused 30,000 dollars of damage to her car because she ran into a bollard at the bank. And she heard it go crunch and then she kept driving. Yeah, cool.

And she's, and she didn't even see it. It's like, yeah, that's because you're driving an M1 Abrams in the parking lot of the first choice bank or whatever the fuck. Your car's too big. Here's an idea, Lucy. Come down to earth. What if, just to scare scare, just to scare, just to scare, just to scare, just to scare, just to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to caq caq cuss cuss cuss c. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tha, th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the tha, the tha, the tha, tha, tha, tha, thruu.augha, tha, tha'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'era'a'er.a, Lucy. Come down to earth. What if, just to scare straight, the Dodge Ram drivers of the world, right, we take, you know, in like, you know, in like MythBusters and some of those sorts of shows where they want to show something happening to a body in slow motion, and they get those like, like, they get like the rubber bodies made out of like ballistic gel. And sometimes they have like pockets of red fluid inside the organs and stuff.

They do them on the, forged in fire? Yeah, all right. So one of them, but it's a baby. Yeah, and it's full of like yellow blood, oh sorry, it's full of fake blood and bones and stuff. And then we put one of them in a baby carriage and we push it out in front of a Dodge Ram, kind of like the scene in speed where like Sandra Bullock's Annie accidentally hits the cart. Turns out it's full of cans. Oh, what a relief for her character. Yeah. But in this case, it like, fucking splatters horror show style.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th You know, not this one this case, it like fucking splatters horror show style

right up your windscreen. Yeah, we've, we've, um, we've popped some of that contact explosive in there as well. Yep. Just really make it. Blast through your engine block as well. I'm just thinking blasted that baby all over the... Nuking this baby.

And then when they pull over to the side of the road, we jump out and we go, yeah, makes you think, doesn't it? Yeah, it really makes you think about what's happened here. Now there is a risk that they will be blinded and drive their Ford F-150 into traffic or whatever but that's also you know a consequence of having that kind of vehicle that someone will try to scare you straight that's a foreseeable consequence. Yes. Should have thought of it when you were putting down your deposit of the dealership you know will someone try to scare me straight yeah with a ballistic gel baby because of the vehicle I'm buying.... th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the theeeeeeeeeateeeate. the their their theateeeee. theat theee. theat the. the. the. gel baby because of the size of the vehicle I'm buying. Probably. It's kind of obvious.

How about them cyber trucks? They're going great. Did I really even have to talk about it? They did recall all of them. They did recall all of them. That's so good. The pedal gets a little bit, oops, a daisy wedged into full accelerator position. It's so good.

He's so stupid. What a dumb cut. He's such a... The truck that can't get touched or rained on. You can't get bird shit on it. Check out a Hyundai 30. I really hope he does it. Check out a Hyundai 30 or take somebody else's Hyundai 30. They're apparently easy to steal. Wow, when your Hyundai 30 gets

stolen, it's a scary time in your life. That's a bit of an omen. It's time for omens importance. You shall see hail fall from a clear sky and burn his fire upon the ground. You shall see darkness cover Egypt when the sun climbs high to noon. And you shall know that God is God, God. And bow down to his will. This comes to us from a storied publication, UFO sightings hotspot. I wonder who put this show in the notes? Wait, he does all the notes.

It's probably been. Probably been. Unexplained anomaly near Antarctica, moving north, causing 80. Probably been. Probably been. Unexplained anomaly near Antarctica moving north, causing 80 foot waves. Well, I mean, if it's near Antarctica, any direction. It's north. 80 foot waves. It's up. You know? It's a lot of fate, huh? That's a big wave. What's, what's 80 feet in a real measurement?

Like 20... No. 24.28 meters. Yeah, okay, pretty big. Pretty big. I've never made a wave that big. I'm going to be honest with everybody right now. The huge anomaly showed up on Ventusky.com, Ocean Monitoring System, does appear to originate from the Antarctica area deep down in the southern hemisphere. On April 9th, the day after the eclipse of 2024, around 2 p.m.

Eclipse Monster. And on April 11th, it suddenly disappears off the map. That's a Godzilla, right? Ooh, it's a Khadjou of some kind. Do you think the eclipse happened and whatever kind of kaiju was down there went? Who turned out the lights? Yeah, he got really confused. Yeah.

Probably. Out of Antarctica. Said, oh, it's back. Don't look straight at it. It's back. Now. Now, now. Now, now. Now, now. Now, now. Now, now. Now, now. Now, th. Now, th. Now, th. Now, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha'n. th. thoom. th. th. th. tooom. tooom. tooom. tooom. too. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. to. too. too. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. It look straight at it. It's back. Now I'm sweeping. This thing, which is the size of Texas, travel down here because... This thing, which is the size of Texas, traveled down here between South America and Antarctica, then up through the Atlantic Ocean, implying that there is a very large field of waves measuring

about 80 foot. What do you mean this thing which is the size of Texas? Is it not just, are we not talking about like a tide, like just a wave? Oh, like so they've seen like a wave disturbance that's the size of Texas. Maybe? Maybe. I don't know about the scientific qualifications of whoever's the article. You're questioning the scientific qualifications of UFO sightings hotspot? Like I figure if it was the size of Texas we might have seen it. You probably say it. I know they're saying

see it on the map but I mean like see it. Like saw it with eyes. With eyes. I'm down here in Tasmania. I'm down here in Tasmania. That that. I the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th their th th th their their th their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-s, thiiiii-s thi, thi, thi, th on the map, but I mean like see it. It's like saw it with eyes, yeah. With eyes. I'm down here in Tasmania. That thing's not far away. Realize, real eyes, UFOs the size of Texas. Yes. Yes. Yes.

25 meter high waves, is that going to be like doing some tsunami types? That would be a problem I think for life and limb. You guys ever see those videos that are like from I don't know container ships and deep sea vessels and stuff where they're just in a storm? None of my business. Few things in the world I would like to do less than be on a boat where that is happening. I... That's that's nightmare than be on a boat where that is happening. I... That's nightmare town for me. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not spending a lot of time on shipping vessels, only for a few reasons.

Speculation runs rampant regarding the nature of this anomaly. I'll say. We've already got Kaiju. Underwater, Texas. We're speculating right now. You guys speckin' out? You guys speckin' off? Yeah, you're thinking on some speculations? Yeah, I'm speckin. Could it be the aftermath of a meteor impact in the ocean? Hmm. I didn't actually think of that. Or perhaps the result of an undocumented seismic event? Well I mean it's documented.

You're documenting it right now. Yeah, you're documenting it in your article. Yeah. How did you see it on the like signals and stuff? That's, yeah. I think blog posts are the main type of documenting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're taking seriously here and podcast. That's how you know something That's that thi that thi thi thi th. It it it it it it it. It's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin. thin thi thin thi thin thi thi thi thin thi thin thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th are the main type of documenting. Yeah. That we're taking seriously here. And podcast. That's how you know something that's been documented. That's true kinds of media, yeah. Yeah, you know how like when a true crime podcast takes like all the articles that journalists wrote about something and then reads them out into a true crime thing?

And then they're documenting the crime. Finally, someone documented this. Finally, someone shone some light on this. Another theory? Not saying whose theories these are. I'm going to guess the author of this post. This guy and his friends maybe. Dude's ripping bong hits at 3 a am in a room covered in tool posters. Allow me to posit another theory.

Nothing wrong with listening to tool. Another theory posits the involvement of an unidentified submerged object or USO. Oh. Oh, it's a thing. Yeah. Do you think there's Ugoes as well for ones that go underground? Maybe. I suppose they're submerged too.

I guess. He's submerged if you're submerged in dirt? Or you're just buried? Buried, U-Bos. Yeah, sort of U-BOs. Yeah, sort of U-Bos. A colossal underwater craft. This hypothesis suggests that the anomaly may not be a rogue wave, but rather a massive object emitting signals, mimicking the characteristics of an 80-foot wave.

Also, there's no wave, it's just sending out like transmission signals. Yeah. Okay. Like this will really fuck with their signals. It's mimicking the characteristics of an 80-foot wave but saying splash. Yeah, to what end I ask. Whoe-wewew, whew? Blub, blub. Notably, the absence of any tsunami warnings along the trajectory of this peculiar object adds to the mystery. Once again, the presence of an inexplicable energy form hints that the existence of a large object underwater lurking within the depths of the southern hemisphere of our planet. I don't know that it does. Yeah, but it could if you take another bong hit and think about it.

Yeah, I guess so. You know? Do a nang and then think about this big thing underwater. If you're really ready to accept whatever, sure. So I googled 80-foot wave to try to see this thing and all the YouTube videos are like Man Surf's record 80 foot wave. So like maybe it's not that big wave. Maybe it's just a large wave. It's just a big wave. Sebastian's Studener, Guinness World Records. That'd be easy for me to surf. Yeah.

The big of the wave, the easier it is, because you can't fall off it. Yeah, it's true. If you fall off, it'll just keep you going. It'll just help you out. Yeah. Hmm. Who? Hello. It's me.

Ben. From this podcast. Maryam Webster defines a podcast as a program made available in digital format for automatic download over the internet. And that simply could not be more true. If you like what we do and want more of this podcast made available to you in digital format for automatic download over the internet, simply go to Patreonvista and hit the enormous red button that says subscribe.... to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, from th, from th, from th, from th, from th, from tho, from thi, from thi, from thi, from th, from th, from th, from th, from th, from th, from th, th, th, from th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. From thi. From thi. From thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. From, thi. From thi. From thi. From thi. digital format for automatic download over the internet, simply go to Patreon.com slash Bonavista and hit the enormous red button that says subscribe. For five US dollars a month you get access to our weekly bonus episodes, our entire archive

of bonus episodes, our exclusive discords, our exclusive discoids and free episode that doesn't have these ads in them. That sweet, sweet subscriber cash allows me to do this show full time without having to get a real job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job job, and to to to to to to to to to to to their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the having to get a real job, and frankly, that whips to me. The other guys also get some money or whatever, but I don't really care. Anyway, check that out if it sounds good to you. Love you. A... Colossal, unidentified, submerged object. Who could be driving that thing?

Perhaps, some type of cryptid. It's time for crypted watch. say they've heard unusual animal sounds at night and several ATV writers say they've seen unusual-looking creatures in the distance. The next guess might have taken one of the best ever pictures of the Loch Ness Monster. Monster. Long-stuck. Long-stuck. Long-stuck. Never heard that one. That's nice. Really? Yeah.

Yeah, we lost it for a while and then Angie's like, oh yeah. Wait a minute. I did something for that. By the way, just on that previous story, the news said it was actually a software era. So now I actually believe something's on. It's a dodgy excuse. They would say that, wouldn't they? I was just a glitch. Yeah, the computer didn't reveal all our secrets. Codes, stuff, you know. This comes to us from a report given to Lons Strickler of the Paranormal Blog, Phantoms and Monsters. For over 10 years, Bigfoot swaps gifts with North Georgia man. That's just nice. It's pleasant. That's beautiful. I'm really excited to find out what kind of gifts we're talking about here.

This first started happening in 2013. The family friend, we'll call him Joe to preserve his anonymity, lives on the outskirts of a small town in North Georgia, about five miles away from the nearest gas station. There's quite a bit of forested area, but most of it is private property. There's a house right across the street from him, so he's not totally isolated. Anyway, one evening, Joe got done picking squash from his garden. He had put them in a bucket that he left on the porch and forgot about overnight. The next day he went looking for the squash and realized that he left it outside.

He went out onto the porch and the bucket was gone. There's only one explanation. Big thing. He didn't really think too much of it. He figured a raccoon had taken it. Yeah. Probably a raccoon. Are they picking up buckets? Yeah. Probably. They're mischievous creatures. They are. I feel like they would just take the squash out of the bucket, to honest, easier to carry, you know. He did find it strange however that whatever it was had taken the whole bucket and that none of the squash had been spilled out. Yeah, I think a raccoon would knock the bucket over. Maybe a guy just found a pumpkin soup coming from the house across the roads.

Someone found a bucket of squash. Nose. It was like something had carried it away, taking care not to spill any of it, as opposed to rummaging through it like a raccoon would. Now, only two possibilities here that a raccoon... Or Bigfoot. There's nothing else. It's either one type of animal I thought of or Bigfoot. You know?

A few days later, Joe came home from work to find a dead mouse on his doorstep, wrapped in a leaf and some grass. Thank you, Bigfoot. Thank you so much. I treasure this beautiful gift. He looked at it for a moment in curiosity. This mouse had been meticulously placed inside the leaf, along with grasses almost like a sandwich. It'd be rude not to eat it. Yeah.

In Bigfoot's culture, this is one of the finest delicacies. And also, well, all right, maybe the problem here, do you think Bigfoot would take the life of a mouse to provide a sandwich to a man? Maybe the mouse is already dead and he didn't want to waste it. Yeah, he thinks it's like an old, do you think... Maybe he laid an old mouse friend to rest. This is like his little coffin. He then began to think, maybe someone was playing a prank on him. Or maybe there was some witch or somebody in the woods trying to put a curse on him. Yeah.

I'm thinking that, like if I get a sandwiched mouse leaf on my doorstep, I'm thinking it's the occult. I was thinking like that this has a lot of parallels with Blair Witch where they wake up and like there's the guys teeth and tongue or whatever in the sandwich. I don't know what the fuck that was but They're like oh nobody wants a Blair witch sandwich. No, you know, no. No, thank you. Yeah, what about ham and cheese? Yes. Bigfoot consider it. Stick with the classics, club, Cubano. And we could just list some good sandwiches that would be better than that one. Bigfoot, get up Trader Joe's.

Bigfoot buy some pastrami challenge, 2024. Look, to be honest honest I don't think Bigfoot is going to engage in any kind of sandwich that requires like factory farmed meat. Oh yeah he's very into that. He's not going to like that. No. He's not. The aura coming off of the meat is fucked. Yeah, I think the I think the hormones coming off a factory farm to meet would terrify and sad in Bigfoot. Yeah, a great deal. Nothing else happened for about a year. That's a while. Yeah. That's a hot minute. Yeah. Nothing else happened for about a year until one night. Joe was sitting in his living room watching television when he saw something out of the corner of his eye through the window around his garden. He looked out and saw a figure hunched over, looking through his squash plants.

He then went outside to confront whoever or whatever this thing was. When he got outside, he was surprised by just how little noise the creature was making, like it was trying to hide. He took a step on his porch, causing the wood to creak, and the creature looked up at him. Yeah, it's like the creature that's kind of trod softly on this earth, leaving not a trace. that one with nature, you know? He couldn't get a good look at its face, but there was a distinctive eye shine caused by it looking up towards his porch lights. It stood up on two legs and he got a good look at its body. Okay, Bigfoot's hanging dong. Yeah, we're talking

sea cup. You can... Human Nichols. It's crazy to be able to see the definition of the abs through a layer of matted fur. You know? That defined. Yeah, he must be fucking yoke. Come, gutters. And he knows that you've got to eat like a really mushroom-rich diet to be getting any protein,

getting enough protein when you won't eat the animals of the woods. Yes. You know? He's working hard. He's eating a lot of peanut butter. Making his own tofu. You know, it's hard to get the grams of protein in.

I don't think Bigfoot would take protein powder. I think that would also come off to him as a natural. No, I think he's kind of a purious. He wants natural food, real food. Bigfoot, 100% nattie, confirmed here on Buxta. It was very large and bulky, yes. He's bulked out, he's ripped. He estimated it must have been at least seven feet tall. It was black and hairy and manlike in its form.

As soon as it saw him, it bolted away and into the woods with lightning speed, still barely making a sound. I think that was just your neighbor, Jerry. Getting caught taking his squashes again. Harry, man-like, squash thief. Bulky. You know what's man-like? Is a man.

Is your neighbor Jerry bulky? Yeah, is he his suit? Is he Greek? Uh-oh. My Greek neighbor Jerry. There was no doubt in his mind that it was a big foot. And Joe understandably had trouble falling asleep that night. As he lay awake, he began to wonder if the creature he had just seen had any connection to the mouse he had received at his doorstep about a year ago.

And he definitely believed that thing could carry off that bucket of squash. Only two things in this world are interested in and will attempt to move a bucket full of squash. Raccoon, bigfoot. The next morning, Joe decided to try a little bit of an experiment. He took some turkey, no. Don't get him processed meat, dude. Maybe it's fresh turkey. Maybe it's fresh turkey. I doubt it, though.

He took some turkey and rolled it up in a leaf and some grass, much like the mouse had been, and set it on his picnic table, out on the lawn and left for work. When he got back that evening, the turkey leaves and grass were gone. Yeah, that's because you left meat outside. And you left leaves. Leaves in the woods. Where the bear can get it. What if Bigfoot thinks that you're mocking like the funeral of his friend? Yes.

Like he, that was a funeral and you've just brought out some fucking turkey meat. Yeah. Hey, what if I, look, we've got a terrified farm animal that we sliced up I got to put it in a little coffin just like your mouse friend. Just like your mouth. Yeah. He sat by that mouse's bedside for days. Held its little poor, you know, made herbal remedies, made a poultice and rubber on the mouse's back, yep out of a tiny little acorn, you know? Out of a tiny acorn for the mouse to help ease him into the next life. And you're laughing?

And you're putting turkey to mock him? To mock him? To mock his little friend? Fucked up. It's so messed up. It's also kind of fucked up to think of your Greek neighbor Jerry coming over and going, ooh, turkey. Mmm-num. Don't mind if I do. Treat for Jerry. He studied the area around the picnic table but was unable to find anything.

Not even the grass had been disturbed as far as he could tell. Got a photographic memory for the grass in the yard. Hey, I'm just checking out the wildlife of North Georgia. I guess the first mammalian species listed is the American black bear. Seven feet tall. Sort of yeah large can stand on two feet. Likes a slice of turkey. Got bulk. Oh, a black bear wouldn't last a second with a slice of turkey. Mm-mm. Gone before you can breathe. Then he approached his door,

and on his doorstep was another mouse. This time decapitated, and instead of leaves or grass, there was a small pile of berries next to it. Again, occult, witch stuff for sure. Yeah, he got a witch bear. Or this mouse's wrong Bigfoot somehow. Yeah perhaps acted as an informant trying to tell the national inquire about

Bigfoot's location. Snitches get decapitated and given to this guy. He hasn't seen the creature again but he believes that it's the one he's been swapping gifts with. It continues to the present day, where he got a whole deer antler just four months ago. Oh my goodness. Oh, the gifts are getting bigger. Also, another Blair witch type item, I think. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Like still animal carcass stuff? Like, got anything? The antlers kind of bit of the sacred geometry in it as well. Mm. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, th, th, the, th, th, th, the, th, th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it to to to thi, it, it to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the present, it, the present, the present, the present, the present, th, the the th, th, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thean, thean, toda, today today today tha the-nit thean, thilers kind of got a bit of the sacred geometry in it as well. Mm-hmm.

He's set up trail cameras before to try and see if he can capture the thing on video leaving presents, but he never catches anything. Well, you're kind of betraying Bigfoot's trust there. Yeah, come on now. Like, honor the code. He's still trying, and I'll keep you posted the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to the the their their their their their their their their their their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. tre. tre. tre. tre. treoooooooooooo. tre. tre. tre. tre. tre. tre. train. try. try. trying, and I'll keep you posted if he catches anything. He told me he feels like it's always watching him and will intentionally not show up when he puts up the cameras. But I don't know if it's intelligent enough to understand what a trail camera is and that it takes pictures. I think it is. I think it knows. Just like intuitively. Oh, you don't think Bigfoot knows how to put on a show the show on a the show on a show on a show on a show on a show on a show on a show on a show on a show on a show on a show on a show on a show on a show the show on a show the show to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. It is the. It, you don't think Bigfoot knows when he's being observed?

You don't think Bigfoot knows how to put on a show? When he's being taped? You noticed how hard all of his muscles were popping and you didn't think Bigfoot knows when he's being watched? He's always kind of throwing it back in those pictures, you know? He's sticking that ass out. Bigfoot just like, thiiiups just out of range in the woods just before he comes back in. Oh, I've got a pump on chasing that mouse.

Oh. Ooh. To capture and expose Bigfoot would truly be a crime that should not be committed. Crime against nature. Crime against humanity because you know that we're awful monsters and we do terrible things to them Crimes will be studied in crime watch 1369. You now have five seconds to fly. Help me! Get me! I'm thrown away!

Please! This comes to us from WJHL. WJHL. What have we got? Nothing there. No I got nothing. We shall. The shrell. The shrell. The shrell.

In Tennessee. You've got to give you a call signs more magic. Yeah, that's got to be. Gh.HL. That's just hard. ATM that's got to be... Can give them some juice. J-HL, that's just hard. ATM thief leaves local bank missing less than $2. How? Got a feel for this guy.

The Kingsport Police Department, the KPD, is investigating an ATM theft that reportedly occurred early Monday morning. A release from the KPD said the incident took place around 2.30 a.m. at the Bank of Tennessee on North Eastman Road. Responding officers found debris and the ATM in the roadway on North Eastman Road. That's like an early start to your day. Stealing an ATM at 2.30 a.m.

I'm a late finish. Yeah. Maybe just one more before bed, you know. Just one more. Three a.m. going back for more. It makes so much sense to steal an ATM because all the money's in there. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I want is the money. An investigation reveals that the suspects hooked up the ATM to a red Chevy Silverado and pulled it from the ground to steal it, the release said. The KPD said Bank of Tennessee employees were able to determine that only $1.84 was missing from the ATM as

a result of the theft. What the kind of? Are you the coins in your ATMs? Where are we Tennessee? Coin-Atium. Is this like a coin star? What can do you? That's one of the coins stars?

America's Best Coins.com. Welcome to the world of investing. Oh, confuse, that's what the finding this and Natty. America's Best Coins.com. Welcome to the world of investing. Oh, it's crypto. Yeah, I know. It's all like Bitcoin. Tell me about real coins. Well, if you're try to find out about like a coin ATM, you just get a million Bitcoin ATM. Yeah.

Yeah. And there's no money in those. No. Never was. Do not steal a Bitcoin ATM. That is not real. Just putting your money into a Bitcoin ATM and it just mulches it? Omnom. Hey, that just cube my money? The release said that soon after KPD officers found the truck used to pull the ATM into the road parked in the 1,700 block of Harris Street. officers spoke with the owners the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the PD officers found the truck used to pull the ATM into the road parked in the 1700 block of Harris Street. Officers spoke with the owners of the truck who don't live on Harris Street and determined the pickup truck had been stolen earlier in

the night according to the release. Smart. Yeah, I was like, fuck, they got him. They tracked down the, they just checked where the Ute. It's. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. they're. they're they're. they're. their. their.S. their.S. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. They're just. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. They're. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. their. t. t. t. t. t. try. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. their. their. their. their. their. the Ute went. It's not their Ute. Damn. Yeah, these guys are like ghosts. Slipping right through their fingers. What if you used your own car to do a crime and then just parked your own car far away from your house? Yeah. And then you were like, hey, that's my car, but it shouldn't be over there. And they'd say, couldn't have been this guy, they must have stolen his truck. The perfect crime, am I right? Yeah. Perfect alibi. My truc's not meant to live over there. It doesn't go there.

Wow. It's truly a wild world out there, and sometimes we take that wild world and we contain it in a cage. And we call that a zoo. It's time thine thine thine thine th that a zoo. It's time for Zoo Watch. Z-WO-O-W-W. Z-WO-W-W-W-ZW-W-W-W-ZW-W-WATZW, Z-W-W-WATCH. Z-W-W-W-WO, Z-W-O Watch. Clever girl. This comes to us from...

D-W-D-WO-D-WO-W-ZWO-W-Watch. This comes to us from... Dewelleau-D-Wiley. Grow up, come on. Serious news show. From Deutschwilly? W-E-L-L-E. How are you saying that? I'm saying that as Deutsch-Willy.

Yeah, I'm saying it as Deutsch-Willi. Oh, Dutch Willie over here. German Willie. Endangered monkey stolen from Leipzig Zoo in Germany. Put it back. Yeah. Or... That's home.

Take them back home. You know? That's your two options. Take him back home. Put the monkey in a funnui to the toom. And I want to say the second Scooby-doo, where they've got them on a plane. They're going to an island. Disguise your monkey as a man. Yeah, that's the funniest thing you can do.

Well they disguised Scooby-Doo as a lady. They did. They did. On the plane. Sun hat. A kind of sexy, a sexy sundress. Rottro. You know? Jesus. Rut roe? Rho! I'm rock!

Oh no. Yeah, put the monkey in so nice regular clothes, put it on a plane with you, say, oh, that's my friend. He doesn't speak English or German, you know? He speaks something else that no one on the plane speaks. Yeah. He would like some food and a bag to shoot him. He has a condition.

He has a condition. He has a condition. And it's actually really rude that you're asking about it. Yeah, don't stare. Don't stare. Didn't realize we were ableest on here. Mm-hmm. I'm going to be posting about this on social media. I'll tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. to be to be to be tho' tho' tho' to be to be tho' tho tho. He's a tho. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He th. He th. He to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He thi. He's a thi. He's a thi. He's a thi. He's a thi. He's a thi. He's a thi. He's a thoooooooooooooooooooooo. He's a thi. He's a ell you that much. I've got a thousand followers on Twitter and they are going to be hearing about it.

Be hearing about how rude you were to my friend who is, to be clear, a man. A human man. A man friend here. My very offended, a very offended human man friend who was eating some of his own ticks right now. He's got some stuff going on, okay? Get him out of there, take him back of the jungle. The Leapsic Zoo in Eastern Germany said Tuesday that one of its monkeys had been stolen from its enclosure. Don't. Or at least take his friends. Yeah you gotta take him all.

So he's got just take one. We've got room for take his friends. Yeah. Yeah, you gotta take them all. So he's got to take one. We've got room for the whole family. Oh, scary. Scary, scary look a monkey, this kind of monkey. The employees at the Leipzig Zoo discovered that the lion-tailed macaque was missing on Easter Sunday while inspecting the private enclosures. Oh, he's... Why does he look so like, a little bit evil, right? He looks fucked up. I don't like him at all. Yeah. He is going to tear your kitchen two pieces.

Yeah. You think it's gonna be fun. No face. You saw one too many movies about people having fun with monkeys. And you said, Yeah, thus, that looks super. Super. Going to a zoo. Yeah. Get the monkey for the fun. This guy's got a bet.

Some monkeys have a good, a pleasant vibe. Good aura. This guy has a very negative aura. Very sharp teeth. Very sharp teeth, angry face. Teeth are so sharp. Cool tail. It does look like a little lion's tail. It does look. He looks like a lion. He's got kind of like a mane on him. But then he opens his mouth and looks like he's going to take all of your skin off. Yeah. Don't like that. Donto take all of your skin off. Yeah. Don't like that.

Don't take him home. Leave him there. Just not bothering anybody? Yeah, he's actually in an ideal spot for a lion-tailed maccog right now. The zoo determined that there were, quote, clear signs of a violent break-in from unidentified individuals and believed that traps were used to steal the animal. The serious business thake thake thake thoom tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thom-like, th him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi-s that that that that that tho-s, tho-s, tho' tho-s, that that that that thee-he thi-he traps were used to steal the animal. The serious business.

Oh, we've been misgendering this monkey, apologies. The female macaque rumor is 15 years old. Lion-tailed macaques are considered an endangered species. They are known for the tip of their tails, which is tufted like that of a lion. Lovely. Another 12-year-old macaque male living in the same enclosure was still there and seemed unharmed by the break-in. That's rough. Good, she's kind of a bitch. Yeah, take my wife, please. Rodney Dangerfield monkey in the enclosure. However, a zoo spokesperson told the German billed newspaper that the male macaque, you know, misses his partner as the monkeys have a social

disposition. Try playing cards with the monkey. Try asking the monkey if he wants to watch a TV show together. If he wants to use the switch? Yeah. Oh my goodness. Play the switch with your lion-tailed macaque. Ask the monkey if he wants to play wario wear with you. You know? Do not give your monkey balatro. Do not like balatro. The two worst things you can give a monkey at the same time are balatro and cigarettes. Yeah. I think it's over for that monkey. Love the both of them too much. I think monkeys would love cigarettes.

Yeah, why have we tried? Has true belief? If they didn't, why would they smoke them? Yeah, exactly. And I've seen them them them them them them them them them them th would they smoke them? You know? Yeah, exactly. And I've seen them smoke them. So, who's wrong? Who's right?

You know? Is the monkey wrong for having a little fun? Yeah. I bet in like that 1800s you could definitely see a monkey smoking a cigarette. That's such a good Google image search, by the way. Monkey cigarette. What does it mean? What does it mean? It's like John Wayne.

Oh now this one's smoke at a pipe. Oh my god. Oh my god, North Korea star, Azalea, the Smoking Chimp. Smoking Chimp featured at North Korean Zoo. I can't believe we keep making like AI and all this dumb bullshit. It's real. When we have, we've got it all right here. The wonders of the world. Right here.

Can't just have a monkey smoking a part of a day. Oh my god, Azalea smokes a pack a day. That's too many many cigarettes the cigarettes the cigarettes the cigarettes their their thia thia thia th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's, th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's not thi. It's not thi. It's not th. It's just just just just just like like like the the th. It's like the the th. It's just just just just just th. It's like thalea smokes a pack a day. That's too many cigarettes Azale. It's probably not good. Jesus. I don't think, I think, I think the monkeys want to smoke, that's my opinion. They do. They can force a monkey to smoke, but I want to. You know, he's wearing a t-shirt, he's smoking a cigarette, he's getting what he wants the their their their their their their their their their their their their their that. You know he's wearing a t-shirt he's smoking a cigarette he's getting what he wants. What does it say about me that, what does it say about

me that seeing a monkey smoking does not make me feel any when he was bad as like you know when people have those videos or like pictures of you know like a six-year-old Chinese kid smoking cigarettes? Yeah and everybody's always like, ha it's funny. He looks like a season pro. Those ones make me sad thi that like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the same th to say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like. their. their. their. their. their. to. to. their. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. their. their. I. their. I. the. the. I's. like, ha, it's funny. He looks seasoned. Looks like a seasoned pro. Les wants to make me sad. The smoking monkeys though? Hmm. It's okay.

I mean, I know it's not good for them, but. We can't, we're not expecting to have a, like, consistent opinion on things, I hope not. Smoking children unfunny, smoking monkeys. Funny! Oh, that's a sad headline. No more cigarettes for smoking Malaysian orangutan. Come on. Let him live. Here's a thought though, if you are going to, and I am, and I do have a very consistent opinion on the show that, zoos are prisons. We have imprisoned these animals. The only place worse for an animal that on the show that zoos are prisons.

We have imprisoned these animals. The only place worse for an animal that a prison is your apartment in Tokyo. Yeah, or the horse slicer from the movie cell. Yeah. Yeah, like, if you're going to take an animal from the beautiful jungle that they live in and then put them in like a little enclosure in a suburban environment or whatever, let them have a siggy. Let them have a little siggie.

Let him have some beers. Little dart. Let him have a beer and a dart. Let them play on the switch, you know? Yeah. I don't know, we're all trying to pretend. They know they're not in the jungle anymore. They can see you looking at them. That's why they're smoking. They can see you taking pictures of them with your phone. Like they know they're not. Oh, I'm in the jungle.there's trees in here they're not that stupid. I remember how in the jungle there were three trees? No, they know what's going on. Yeah. Let them have the Siggs. That's all I'm saying. You know?

Hmm. German police in the state of Saxony, where the Leipzig Zoo is located, have launched an investigation into the theft and have put out a call for witnesses. Security measures of the zoo have been ramped up in response to the theft, full armed response teams at all gates. Leapsig Zoo Director, Yorg, Yonhold, called the theft of the macaque, quote, bad news. End quote. We don't know the motive behind the theft, but we are extremely concerned about the welfare of the middle-aged animal whose species appropriate keeping and care requires specialist knowledge, and we very much hope that the animal would be recovered or returned unharmed.

You and Holt said, return that monkey. Yeah, give the monkey back. Give it back. You can't own monkeys. Keep it back. Zoos on monkey. Don, the monkey. Don, the monkey. Don, the monkey. Don, the monkey. Don, the monkey. Don, the monkey. Don, the monkey. Don, the monkey. Don, the monkey. Don't. Don, the monkey. Don't. Don, the monkey. Don, the monkey. Don, the monkey. Don, but the monkey. We, but the the the the the th. We, but the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. We, but th. We, but th. We, th. We are th. Wea, th. We are th. Wea, the. Wea, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea. Wea the. We are the. We are the. We are th monkey. Yeah, give the monkey back. Give her back. You can't own monkeys. Keep it back. Zoos, don't own a monkey. Yeah, for some reason the zoos are allowed to own a monkey, but you're not? Yeah. Does that seem fair? No. But I don't make the rules, you know?

Oh well. I guess that's an episode of the podcast, Buntavista. Do you concur? thia concur? that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's? that's that's that's that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? that's? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi-a? thi-a? thi-a? thi-a'er. the thoooooooooooooomoomoomooooooomoomooomoomorrow. that's thoom? thi-s. th's an episode of the podcast, Buntavista. Do you concur? Yeah, I think that sounds better, right? I agree. You listening at home, do you concur? Leave a little bit space, your answer? Was that an episode?

Was that an episode? Comment on the Instagram. Say yes. Yes. Yes. Do a comment on the Instagram that says yes engagement bait do you think a monkey should smoke a cigarette yes please write in to mail bag at mutter vistas dot com with your opinion about monkey smoking cigarettes whether or not it looks cool but most importantly

don't write in if your answer is going to be very serious and make us feel bad we don't like that we don't need that. I they don't that they don't that. I don't that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I th. I the th. I the the the the engagement. Eng. Enga. Enga. Engag. I'll the engagement the engagement. Engag. Engag. Engag. Engag. Yes. Engag. Yes. Engag. Engag. Engag. Engag. Engag. Engag. Engag. Engag. Engag. Eng. Eng. Eng. Eng. Eng. Eng. Eng. Eng. I'll the engagement the engagement the engagement the engagement the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll to to to to to to to th. I to to to the to the to to the to to to the to to to the to the to the the to the the thi. I'll thi. I'll the the thi. thi write in if your answer is going to be very serious and make us feel bad. We don't like that. We don't need that. I don't like to feel bad. We don't need that in our lives. We've got other stuff going on. If you like to feel bad, maybe keep that to yourself bloody Trent Resnock. Freaking head checked. Oh, thanks everybody. We'll see you next time. Bye. Goodbye. the