Boonta Vista - EPISODE 345: Drift Stance JDM Toilet (No Bidet)

Episode Date: May 5, 2024

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: The toilet purchaser's dilemma, fumbling a skill check to impress women, the end of the good times at Barefoot Lake, one man's war on Perth airport, and staying safe by not helping old ladies. *** Get your live show tickets at boontavista.com/live *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Hello and welcome to Buntavista. Cool. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Yeah, that's really cool.

Yeah, this is what I want to be. Oh, my God. Right. Yeah, awesome. That's really cool. Yeah, this is what I want to be. God! Hello and welcome to Buntavista, episode 345. I am Ben, and I'm here running a game of the classic highly influential pen and paper role-playing game, misery quest. It's a miserable day in the kingdom of Veltschmutz, as our adventurers trudged through the muck and the mire of the putrid swamps. It's been five days of leeches, mosquitoes and mud as our players navigate an extensive filthy marsh, choked with dead birds and sulfurous gases, hoping to make it out

the other side to reach the cave of certain disappointment. A series of failed mental health checks sees the players more depressed than ever. Lethagi and Anadonia the their their their their their the players more depressed than ever. Lethargy and Anahedonia are setting in, and they've almost run out of stale bread as well. All of a sudden, a disturbance in the mud ahead. An emotional vampire looms out of the muck, initiating combat. Rolling thinne for initiative and getting the highest score after taking into account the mental health penalties with a miserable negative 17, it's the party's spellcaster, a level 3 mudnome on wee

mage. It's Theo. Theo, what do you do? All right. So first of all I'm going to cast my most disappointing buff. I'm sorry you actually don't have enough spoons to do that. You've become afflicted with Malays. Then you've got to lie down in the mud for a while. Oh no. Next to the initiative order, it's the party's fighter, the level three wear sloth anxiety night. It's Andrew. Andrew, what do you do? Hey, I'm gonna try to overwhelm the emotional vampire by describing my entire childhood to him.

Oh, I'm sorry, you're having a bad brain day. You're gonna lie down in the mud the mud the mud the mud the mud the mud the mud... the mud the mud the mud the mud. the mud. It's the mud. It's. It's. It's the mud. to. It's to. It's the mud. It's to. It's to to to to to to to to him. Oh, I'm sorry, you're having a bad brain day. You're going to lie down in the mud for a while. Okay. It's not hopeless yet. There's still the party's healer, a level 3 beach elf crystal healer. Lucy, how do you use your crystal powers? Well, I'm an empathist, see. So what I'm going to do is make myself the victim in the situation, thus

defeating anything that is thrown my way. Oh, hey, let me just check something. Oh, this is, this fucking happens every time. You write these encounters and your players will always find a way to get around the rules. That's fucking incredible. You've defeated it through your incredible emotional, the emotionally manipulative abilities. Yeah, they're really handy. Yeah, and you're home to those from watching a lot of Tick-Tock and having a group of only female friends your entire life. That's right, I watched a lot of Tick-Tox about how nothing is my fault,

and everything is a boundary. That's so good. It's good to be healthy. And that concludes the Misery Quest intro. Thank you. Thanks, I like to. I enjoyed myself. Um, hey, sometimes in life, there's stuff we should chat about. It's time for, we've got to make up a theme this at some point. But, no, I mean, I probably won't be able to think of a fourth thing that will fit into this segment,

but who knows? It's time for stuff we should chat about. So I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday, humble brag. So I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday, humble brag. And he's in the market for a new, Humble Bragg. And he's in the market for a new toilet. Okay. For his, he's bought an apartment.

And he's, his old toilet is just not good. He's, he's worn through the old toilet. That's right. It's just, you take a little flush. It's like when you really start to notice the burn in after a while. It's like when you're walking, when you're walking along and it starts raining and it's only at that point that you realize that there is now a hole in the bottom of your shoe. Because the water is coming in through the bottom of your shoe. It's kind of like that except I assume the water and the dooke going out of the bottom of the toilet to somewhere else in the house. Yeah, because you've worn through the floor as well. So, presumably it's just whatever's below where your bathroom is. Hopefully you live in an apartment building at that point.

It's someone else's problem. Yeah, because if you don't, if you're just in a regular-style house, that's a U-problem, you know. Yeah, a problem problem problem problem problem problem that won problem that won problem that won problem that won problem that won problem that won problem that won problem that won problem that won that won that won that won that won that won that won that won that won that won that won that won that won that won that won that won that won that won't be evident at first, but eventually will become quite bad? Have you ever seen those pictures of like, um, in really old houses where they had like a disposable razor slot in the bathroom wall? Yeah. Yeah, that was a forever whole. You could just take the razor out of your safety razor and just push it through the slit in the wall. And then at some point people are like, they. they. they. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, tho thi, thi, tho, thoom, thoom, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. You th. You th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, th. You, thin, thin, thin, th. And, they, they, thin, they, thin, th. And, thin, th. And, thin, th. And, th. And, th. And, the wall and then at some point people are like under the house and it's just a massive pile of rusty razors under there

like that but with your shits your shits are down there. It's like how dentists used to have a little hole in their wall. The teeth? Yeah I can pop the teeth in there. Yeah just pop the. There's thousands of teeth in here. Where those come from? Yeah, you could be reselling those. You're gonna flip those? You're gonna flip those teeth? Now, I know you want.

Think of your career as teeth flip. Now I know you're in the refurbished teeth? Refurbished venus. Holes patched. Take the top off some teeth that we found in the walls. And just glue, I'll get a little crazy glue and I'll snap that on. And that, instead of running you $2,000, that will only be $1,800. Yeah, you guys remember that dentist that they... It was in Melbourne, I think think think they think they they they think they they they think they think they they think think they think they think think thi that dentist that they, um, it was in Melbourne, I think they redid the site, make it into a Harris scarf or something, and they just found like tens of thousands

of teeth in the yard. No, they were just putting them in the dirt out the back. Are you serious? They were putting them in the teeth hole. Yeah. Where do they put them? They put them in the teeth hall. I think they go in? Do you think they just throw me in the trash? Then they have to go into medical waste, I think. Yeah. Personally I would volunteer to smash them all up with a hammer into a fine powder. Oh! Oh I hate that. You know you've just you just you just you just you just you just you just you just you just you just just just you just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just got the the the the the the they just got they've just got the they're just got they're just got the th. You just got they're just got th. You've just got th. You've just got the th. You've just got they're just got th. You're just got they're just got the their their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're just they're just they're just they're just their their their their their th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the those break rooms but you can just smash people's teeth. Like bags of teeth. It's a rage cage, but only teeth is your hammer. You've got... Brunswick's first old teeth rage. Your five minutes starts now.

Check this out. So during Victoria's big build construction works, which is I think road and rail stuff. Archaeologists in the city made a gruesome find on the excavation sites. Over 2,000 human teeth were found in and around a collapse metal drain pipe. They were putting it down. They were making it the drains problem. Oh, you can't do that. If you've got to make something the drains problem, keep it soluble.

It sounds like... Stop flushing stuff down the toilet. Even if you think it's flushable. It's a... I mean, look, if it goes down the toilet, it's technically flushable. But that doesn't make it good, you know? Anything's flushable if you like you try high enough. Yeah. It's kind of like the clumping cat litter stuff, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, th, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind of, it's kind th. th. th. th. th. It's kind, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind, it's kind. It's kind. It's kind. It's kind. It's kind. It's, it's kind th. It's kind of, it's, it's kind of, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's kind. It's kind. It's kind. It's kind th. It's kind of, it's kind of, it's kind of, it's kind of, it's kind of, it's kind of, it's kind of, it's kind of, it's kind of like, it's kind of, it's kind of, it's kind of, it's kind of and it's gone, but is it? I mean it's gone somewhere. Yeah. It's not my problem anymore. It's out of my hands. Or did they just

open a pipe and go, hey, would you look at that? They opened a pipe because it was, I assume that this is just old, unrecorded services, right? So, like, they only started riding down where shit was recently, but these were from, the that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not their, it's not their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, right? So, like, they only started riding down where shit was recently, but these were from two dentists in the 1800s and up to the 1930s. Oh, so they didn't know any better. They didn't know. They didnodegradable, but in general they're not. Yeah, I won't worry about mine being biodegradable. So a friend of mine is buying a toilet. Yeah. Because his toilets not very good. From Liz Dukies. We've talked about toilet shopping before so we can skip the obvious. But have you guys ever been in the market for a toilet? I've never required a new toilet. It's always coming to the house. I'm in the market for a toilet. Really? It's just something I've sort of

realized it's like we could just buy a new one. Like this one's just not very good. Okay, so this is kind of what I'm getting to a little like the mechanism of the flush or whatever. But if they're bad, there's nothing you can do about. Smash them up with a hammer. Yeah, you can't get somebody to like turbo charge your toilet I guess. Can you retrofit some powerful new equipment to my toilet? Can't really refurb the to, you can get a cool toilet seat like with like shells and like seahorse. Like a blower coming out the top of the cistern. I'm in the moment for that. I'm thinking feedback from the exhaust to increase airation.

Getting a bump stock for my toilet. This baby automatic. I want a clear cistern like the PlayStation controllers. Yeah. Oh yes, Y2K aesthetic toilet. Yes. Clear crystal plastic shit. What if the whole toilet though, Lucy? Extra toilet toilet. Yeah.

You don't. You're supposed to look after for health reasons. And this would make it even easier. Yeah, exactly. So a friend of mine is in the market for a toilet. It's got to be rough. And the thing is, we've talked about how absurdly cheap, like comparatively the cheapest toilet at Bunnings is. It's like 130 bucks, which to me, a toilet is like something that you buy and it basically lasts

forever, you use it multiple. It's wow, they're just like $200.30 I think I'm looking th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's basically thi. It's thi. It's th. It's thi. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's the the the the the the the the the the the thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's basically thi. It's basically thi. It's basically thi. It's basically thi. It's basically thi. It's basically thi. It's basically thi. It's basically thi. It's basically thirty. It's basically thirty. It's basically thirty. thirty. thirty. thirty. thi. thirty. thi. thi. It's basically thi. It's basicallyimes a day. It's like $200. Yeah, something that weighs that much should not cost that little. 130 I think I'm looking at. There's, they're mostly paid out of recycled smashed up teeth as far as I know. Yeah, and you know what the problem is? It's bunnings, undercutting all the neighborhood mom and pop toilet the toilet stores. You know, you used to just just just to the corner store and get yourself a new toilet from someone whose name you knew.

Not anymore though. Pop in some sweets that have called the Fsler. Yeah, 134 bucks is the cheapest one you can get bunnings from Estilo. But they can also be absurdly expensive, right? Because you can have good toilets and you could have bad toilets. There is no way for you to find out the functional qualities of, you can't test drive a toilet is essentially what I'm saying. Yeah.

Like, if a $500 toilet is like, oh, this flush is good. You can't just go to the showroom and try it out. You can't like- What about those ones that are, that have, you know, so bunnings, they're all up on the shelf, right? But like what about the walk in, like- You can't shit in those. No, no, you canthey say in the lane.

They're not flushable. But like, what about the ones, the showrooms that you walk in and they've like got the pre-built rooms in there? Well, I don't think they make them flush. I don't think they're not connected to anything. So what are you supposed to do? Like, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? If you're going to buy... What the fuck are you supposed to do about anything? Bunnings actually is pretty is pretty reasonable with their policy that if you buy something and you take it to the today, thinnene..... th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. they they their not the. that. they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not. they're not. they're not. they're not. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. So. thi. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. It's. It's not, they're not, they're not, they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not they're not this is actually not for the fitting, you know, that I need it for or whatever. You can take whatever back to Bunnings and just say, not fit for purpose

and they will refund your money. So I'm proposing he takes home the toilet, shit's into it, sees how he feels. If he doesn't like it, take it out of the back, blasted off of the garden hose, back to bunnings. Keep Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep your your your your your your your your your thagagagag. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep. Keep, keep, keep, keep, keep their. Keep th. Keep, keep, keep th. Keep, keep th. Keep, keep, keep th. Keep, keep, th. Keep, thi. thi, thi. thi. thi, th. th. to, to, th. to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to, to to, to to to, to to to to to to to to to to th receipt. But do you want to go through all the pain of insulation? Yeah, you got to pay someone to install it. Not great reviews on the $134.00. The Estillo? Not rated highly. I would go with the evercare, $396. Yeah, you always want to go with like the thing that costs. Not the bottom line one, right? You want to go with the, with the $400 toilet. Not the top, just like, yeah. You don't want a $1,200 toilet. That's putting on airs.

That's gilding the lily, toyle. So thi's $1,000. The five stars are very warm. What about? They're very happy with the toilet. Oh no, Dr. Glutius gave a bloodster. Well, he has special requirements, so I don't know if that's fair. Yeah, one star, staff very rude, threw me out of the store as soon as I was done shit. Yeah. I think Dr. Glutius is exceeding the duty cycle on those ones, though. No one one it down because like the flush isn't powerful or good or because of residue that it leaves behind.

They're all just about how it's like a cheap build and it doesn't fit properly. Is there someone out there? This is where my mind went is like, well, I guess there would have to be people that review toilets so you can find out if the flush is good. But there can't there can't there can't, installing, and then taking a massive dump in a toilet so he can do like a YouTube, and I am saying a heap, because it's almost certainly a man, doing like a YouTube review of being like, yep, the waste gone, clean and efficient, barely anything left in the bowl. Basically never have to touch the toilet brush. This is worth $700. How are they controlling for variability as well?

Like how are they doing a median shit? You need to go to like, you know how the... America has that, um, the warehouse that's full of like the standard cigarette, the standard apple, the standard apple or whatever so that you can test stuff you need the standard turd. I think it exists actually. Ben you've really ruined my morning now. I've just immediately found the YouTube channel toilet reviews 9482. I reviewed toilets. It started when I went into a McDonald's in Long Beach and saw poop in the urinal. This person is actually

just going place to place and reviewing the individual toilets. CVS Sherman Oaks toilet reviews. New reviews every Monday and Thursday. Now they're possibly, they're probably, I don't think that they're getting what we need, but they're probably, that probably is a way towards getting what it is that we need. You know, these toilets, there are toilets everywhere, all around us. Yeah, okay, so I know where you're going with this, but I was thinking about that as well. If you find them in the field, right? You would need to have an incredible to toilet

because they don't have like the model number, the make, they do have the make but not the model number like printed on the toilet yeah you would need to go to like a million public bathroom I feel like there's a name plate on the back with like name model capacity oh this toilet was made on a Friday that thing's got to fall apart. That's a bad batch. This person is, this separate account, smedly plumbing, what toilets should I buy? We test the best and the worst. They are reviewing all of the toilets that Home Depot sell by installing them. Okay. And then running through a range of things to see what will and will not flush. Now starting with to toilet paper.

Moving to marshmallows. Then we're on to flushing golf balls down the toilet. But I don't think you should do that. Stop it for a golf ball. We're onto a big toilet full of Nerf bullets. You know how you're always asking yourself, yeah, but what if I eat 40 to 50 Nerf gun bullets? Yeah. And then I can't flush tool toolet.

Not doing that. Well, okay, it's a sensory thing and it comes to me. He's now flushing medicine bottles down the toilet. Cranberry sauce. Flushing like a full. Cranberry sauce? Stop it! This man must be stopped! Flushing like a full... You know when something comes out of a can and like just in the cylinder, like like pal dog food in the 80s, you know? Yeah.

Just a full log of cranberry sauce, seeing if that goes down. I'm questioning your diet at this point, a fruit cake. We're flushing a fruit cake down. And the final test, the final test, they they they're they're they're they're they're the, tha the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi final test, shoot this man before it destroys the city's pipes. He must be killed. The final test, and they're really trying to ascertain the accuracy of claims of a powerful flush on these toilets. He is flushing what looks to be eight to ten billion balls down the toilet. Stop it!

Kill him! Kill him now! Drone strike, that facility! Smetley plumbing, you are on blast. Sounds like the toilets are on blast. They can't be connecting this to the city pipes. No, that's what I'm thinking. They're collecting you in a big pocket at the, because otherwise the billiard ballad budget alone would ruin the project.

This also just, this sidesteps the important thing to me. You're not testing it with poop. Well, that's the only thing that really bad is here. I think if it can handle half a dozen billion balls, billion balls, I think I thi said. I think there are nuances to the way that it flushes. Like that that need to be tested with the source material. You think it's got to be real. You think it's got to be authentic. Yeah. I think something about the way it grips to the sides is a key element of what you want from a toilet. You can't be using Osset's turts. Yeah. You can't. You can't be the the the th. You can't the th. You can't th. You can't th. You can't th. You can't th. th. th. th. th. th th. th. th th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's thi. thi. thi. that's got the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. the. the. thi. the. the. the.. Well, I think we solved that one. Should he get a toilet? Or should he still, he doesn't know.

Is he considering a Japanese toilet because that's all anybody is talking about? He can just get those. No, he's considering a Japanese toilet brand, but not one with a bidet. What? But there is a Japanese toiletiletololololese the the the toilietietietietietietietietietietietietietietietietietietietiettea that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not one with a bidet. What? He doesn't want the bidet, but there is a Japanese toilet brand that he was named checking that it's like, oh that's a, sorry, that's a really good quality toilet.

Just to be clear, your friend doesn't want a sparkling anus? He does not. Geez. Oh, sorry, Toto, the Japanese toilet brand, told tho, he's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. that's. that's. that's. that's, that's, that's a really. that's a really. that's a really. that's a really, that's a really, that's a really, that's a really, that's a really, that's a really, that's a really, that's a really, that's a really, that's a really, that's a why are you doing international toilets if you're not going to cop the bidet? You know, they're sold over here. Oh, now that's an attractive toilet. I think it's just Japanese craftsmanship. Oh, is this an import? Are you driving an import toilet toilet stanced? I'd only buy an Australian made toilet. I like to support local. Yeah. Think. Dude, did you get your toilet stanced? I got a drift-stanced J. Toileet.

No bidet. Another supercharged toilet. That's what's going on. I'm really deep in toilet reviews. Do not not. If you were thinking about it, do not. All these people are saying the same thing. This person says, you crap all over it unless you have precision aiming. You literally have to think about butt positioning in order to not leave skid marks. Oh, this is-

This is going to be Americans shitting in a European toilet, right? So like European the tooomkhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit to shit to shit to shit to shit to shit to shit to shit to shit to shit to shit to shit to shit to shit to shit to shit shit to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toilets have like a much smaller hole at the bottom, but it makes the flush way more economical. Like it uses way less water, right? I think it's just Mandela. Mandela's a problematic brand. Well now I want to say it's a budget bunnings brand. Yeah, Lucy what model is this? Mark, can you pull up that toilet?

$274.4.4. 4 star 4.6 later full Rococo rimless back to wall toilet suite. $274 at Bunnings. That is the second toilet that comes up if you just Google Mondela toilet. I hate that. Poor reviews. Yeah.

A lot of mentions of skid marks. That's why golf balls won't cut it. I'm just trying to imagine getting online and being like, hey everybody, I'm making too big a mess when I do my shit and it's someone else's problem. Bunnings, I want a refund. I keep having to use the toilet. I keep having to wash my skid marks off the toilet from all the turds I'm doing. Other websites are getting really bad reviews as well. I hate this the the the the to to the to the to to the to to the the to to the to the to the the toyilet. I thilet. I'm thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thia thinks. I'm thinks, I'm thiae. I'm thia thiae. I'm thia thia thioboomks. I'm thia. I'm thiobe. I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi. I thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thin. I'm thin. I'm ti. I'm making ty. I'm making ty. I'm making ty. I'm making ty. I'm ty. I'm making tip are getting really bad reviews as well. They hate this toilet. You'll see inside the toilet though. I'm seeing pictures with the lid down.

I've got to see what's packing. Show me the skid marks, you know what the fucking tragedy is as well is that these people have a fully installed toilet that they've bought that they've bought that they don't like. Imagine having an unpleasant toilet experience every time. You're living with that toilet. Like you're not getting a new one. This is a really kind of selfless act, I think, is like getting a bad toilet and being like, well, I'm fucked now for like the next five to ten years. However long a toilet last.

But there's still time to save some other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other other people other people other people other people other people other some other people. I can warn somebody else. Man. Like a ghost trying to warn people away from the hornet house, you know? Don't come in. It's dirty in here. It's nothing to do. It's Mondella. Mondella. And that was stuff we should chat about.

Wow. Buying a toilet where the hole is so small that it's like just for farts. It's a joke toilet and it's just for farts and you keep trying to shit into it and you're getting shit all up the sides and it's everywhere and you either got a scrubbe fridge with a toilet brush otherwise everyone else in your family's like, why the skin marks all the one thing we didn't want to happen. It's time for the one thing we didn't want to happen. This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. This one comes to us from WRGA in Georgia.

The wargasm. That's right. Oh, okay. Okay. Man trying to impress woman at bar accidentally kicks hole in the wall. Well, I'm impressed. Don't put it in the news. Cut to the, cut to the chase though, was she impressed? It's an impressive thing to do. It's like a spinning back kick, who was it? It's unclear what kind of trick he was trying to do.

Question mark kick. Check this shit out. The Daniel son, top. Police spotted to harvest moon on Broad Street Tuesday after a man kicked a hole in the wall. According to a Rome Police Department report, the 26-year-old man told police he was attempted to do a backflip to impress women inside the bar when he accidentally kicked a hole in the wall. Got to run up the wall foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot foot the th. I the the th. I the th. I the the the th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I'm. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. true. true. true. true. true. true. tolue. tole. ttoy. the wall. Gotta run up the wall foot straight through. I would do anything to have seen that. Just lying on the ground being like, okay, that was unbelievably embarrassing, but at least this is the end. I can just leave and I'll never hear about it again. The manager told police the man was not being aggressive, just extremely intoxicated.

So Ben, you work in a bar if I understand correctly. That is correct, yes. So let's say someone tries to do a backflip in one of your establishments. I'm going to guess the bigger one because I cannot imagine how someone could try to do a backflip off the wall inside the scratch. They're simply... It's physically not room. It is not. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to be to be to to to to to to to be to to the to to their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. to. to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to do a backflip in off the wall inside the scratch. There's simply... Yeah it's physically not room in there to backflip. Yeah it'd be like trying to run up the wall and do a back flip inside a phone booth you know it's just not happening it's not happening. Are you calling the cops? Or are you saying that's enough of that? their tip or are you saying that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's saying, that's the thing. the thing. the thi's thi's the they's they's they's they's they. they. they's not they. they's not they. It's not they. It's to to to to to they. It's physically. It's not they. It's not they. It's not they. It's not they. It's not they. It's not they. It's physically, it's they's they's they's they's physically they's they's they's they's the the they's physically they. It's they. they's physically they's physically, it's not they. they's not they's physically, they's not they's not they. they's physically, it's not they's physically, it's not they. they. they. they. the it's time to go. Yeah I think you just tell him to leave say I think at that point I don't think that's a cops yeah just be like hey man you're an idiot. That was really embarrassing for you it's probably best for you if you go

home now. And we do have security cameras and we got that and we will be watching that all the time. I mean the stuff what's up to like help him save face though, like, hey, what happened, man? You're usually doing backflips, no problem. That's the first time I haven't seen you nail that on the first try. That's crazy. Get out of here. I've seen you do 20, 30 back flips in my time here. Each one, a little higher than the last.

It must be some sort of structural deficiency in here. Get the fuck out, get the fuck out here. The man was asked to leave the establishment and complied. Okay, yeah. I bet. You know what? Yeah, fair call. I can see everyone's making some pretty good arguments and I'm just gonna go. Hey, we'd like to hang out. That's probably not gonna happen now. So, uh. Ladies want to come home with me? Ladies. Good evening to you. Good evening to you. to you. the the the the the the the the. We. We. We. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. Hey, the the the. Hey, the. Hey, the the. Hey, the. Hey, the. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. Hey, evening to you, fair thee well, I must bid thee do you? We may meet again under more fortuitous circumstances. You know you're having like a really bad night at the pub when you are up on the Fail Army broadcast on the TV on the wall before you leave for the night? Yeah. Oh, fuck, they submit that so fast! Oh, everybody's like it. We should get a Pale Army TV, Ben.

Yeah, that'd be good. Just like a really tiny walk out after you, after an hour. I think you'd hook up your own one, where, like, you put your own stuff on it, and at the point where you kind of want people to start clearing out because you're going to close in half an hour, just start running a loop of like cartel execution videos. It's really bring the mood down in the place. Encourage everybody to kind of mose on, you know what? Talk on an ISIS beheading video instead of closing time. Yeah, when they come in two minutes before you're about to close and you're like, don't ask for a drink and they look and go, you know what? I think we're good. I'm just going to.

You do create a problem though that the people that are left there are like the last people that you want to be alone in a bar with, did you? And now you're an execution video. Yeah, the one thing you don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin thin thin thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thu, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th we're th. I th. I th. I thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' the. I'm the. You're th. You're th. thoooooooooooooooo'n'n't thuuuu. I'm thin' thin' you don't want to hear is, oh, I've seen this one. This is a great one. Nothing but hits, baby. Welcome to the snuff bar Milton. The man was also banned from the property. Okay. That's a, yeah, I mean, I get it. It's fair. He's probably already. Like, the thing itself was the punishment. Yeah, hey, it's the wall kicker. He's back. Like, give him them the the the the $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $200. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. that. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. the the the punishment. Yeah, hey, it's the wall kicker. He's back. Like, give him 200 bucks to get the wall fixed. And then like, let him cut back. You know, he's, he's just trying to have fun. Just try to impress them ladies.

Aren't we all? It'd be cool if the picture that they put up behind the bar, like do not serve this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this the wall hanging upside down. Body starting to turn sideways the way that indicates he will definitely not land. Yeah, well then, because you know, if it was you, you'd come back in like trying to sneak in the you see that and go, you know what? Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. I'm gonna go. Ripping off the fake mustache. I don't need this. Hey, is it a crime to get really drunk, try to press a group of women, try to do a backflip and then kick a whole little wall at a bar? No. It will be soon.

Unclear. But if it was, we maybe would have put that segment under Crime Watch. It's time for Crime Watch. Please put down your weapon. You're a direct flight. You're a trial for 13 section 9. You now have five seconds to fly. Help me! Help me!

Help me! Please! I'm not going to be My boss! Help me! Sorry, I just checked the chat to see what Theo had posted in there earlier. Those are beautiful toilet seats. I'm genuinely considering buying one of those toilet seats. They look loud. It's soft clothes. They're soft clothes. They're soft clothes toilet seats. I'm genuinely considering buying one of those toilets. They're soft clothes. They're soft clothes toilet sets. My concern is more like...

That they're porous because they're timber? Yeah, the wooden... But they're probably... They're like apoxid or varnished or whatever. Yeah, but you're gonna wear that off. That's such a timeless touch. The way you're going going to go going going going going going going to go going to go going to go going to go going to go going to go going to go going to go going to go going to go going to go going to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go to go toilet bin. Who be getting through that varnish in no time. Stripping it back. I'm gonna buy a seashell toilet seat. I'm just gonna do it. You should. I'm gonna buy it today. Yeah. Our friend Hannah, I believe, bought a

seashell toil toilet seat at some point. Amazing. I'm not certain she did. Definitely seems like some shit she'd do. This is from W. I. N. K. In Florida. A wink. A wink. Party's over. Dirt Parking Ends at Barefoot Lake. Damn fun. End of an era. All I heard was Barefoot Party. That's... Yeah.

The Lee County Sheriff's Office has made it clear. The party at Bearfoot Lake is over. Yeah. The Lee County Sheriff's Office has made it clear. The party at Barefoot Lake is over. Oh. Following the barrage of complaints and concerns from visitors to the makeshift beach, LCSO has now established a mobile command center to monitor the private property. Why? Why? Mobile commutes?

Make shift? Ah, is it? Plenty Americans are always calling the dirt around their lake a beach. Yeah, that's not on. That's not on. Yeah, beaches are at the ocean. Dirt and sand are different. Beaches are at the ocean, but the beach also has to be the right kind of beach.

B. And that's not on, the beach. the beach. British people are also calling a hideous field of rocks a beach and that's not on either. You know what Italy's doing it too. Italy, you're on blast. Italy, fucking get it together. Beautiful waters of Chinquaterra, still not a beach. Uh huh. Yeah. Beautiful waters of Chiquiteria. You are on blast. If I'm walking down to the water and I'm going like this the whole time, oh. Oh, oh, I rolled, oh, I rolled, I rolled, I rolled, I rolled, I rolled, I rolled, I rolled, I rolled, I I the the the the the the the the the th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th. I th tho, tho, tho. I's tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho. I's tho. I's th. th. th. I's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I's the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi tha. I'm the tha thea tha thii thoooooooooooooooooooo' th. I's tha. I's and I'm going like this the whole time, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, fuck.

Oh, I rolled my ankle, I rolled my ankle, I rolled my ankle, bring the car around, bring the car around. It's not a beach. Yeah, no. We should have another word for that. I'll call it a foreshore. For sure. Yeah. Hey, sorry. Roughly 200 people visit Bearfoot Lake in Lehigh Acres.

Okay? Like in total? Now, like there are 200 people that regularly go there. They rotate just those 200 people. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it's a roster of 500 people and there's always 200 people there. You know, they keep it stocked around the clock.

Yeah, time share. Yeah. 200 people to me is not conjuring like what I would think of as a problem at this point. Wow. 200 Floridians. Yeah. Uh, roughly 200 people, blah, blah, blah, which makes for a melting pot for hijinks. Uh-oh. A melting pot for hijinks?

Melt worst kind of jinks. You don't. This is the first time I've read one of these where I've been like, oh, it's definitely AI. Yeah. Because that's just not a thing. A melting pot for th for th for th for th for th for th for the the the the the the the the the the the the the the just not, that's not a thing. A melting pot for hijinks. Hmm. A fine had broken out Sunday and a man was arrested after going on a punching spree after his ask to slow down his dirt bike.

A punching spree. Yeah, he punched like 20 people. Like he was just like in the mix with a bunch of people around him. He punched men, women, children. Like he was punching literally everyone around him. Now with the mobile command center, ATV and dirt bike riders will need to find a different location to ride their vehicles. What is this beach? So this is a vacant lot in Lehigh Acres in Florida that has a like perfectly rectangular lake in the middle of it and it's just like private property with no house or anything on it owned by someone

that lives in the Czech Republic and like local families have just been using it as like a place to go swimming but also and ride ATVs and get into punch-ons. There's like lots of viral videos of like big fights breaking out at Barefoot Lake. It's just full of like near near Do Welles. Yeah, that's where all the ruffians hang out. My raffians. I'm gonna walk the long way. I don't want to go near barefoot lake. I might get waylaid by ruffians. Got like warriors style gangs there. Like Point Break beach gangs. Yeah, very strange situation. Mostly funny because it's called Bearfoot Lake. Hey, that place sounds dangerous.

You should try and get as far away from it as possible. And the best way to do that would be on a plane. We speak about planes and plainly speaking. It's time for plainly speaking. It's time for plainly speaking. You're doing some wonderful work there on their segues speaking. You're doing some wonderful work there on the segues there been. I find the secret to it is to repeat the component words of the name of the segment as many times as possible before getting to the theme. So I just put this in here because I thought it was really funny basically.

This is from the West Australian. One Perth resident complained about aircraft noise more than 21,000 times last year accounting for nearly half of all complaints in Australia. Oh my god, what are we picturing? What's the the the the th the the th the th the th the times the the the times times the times the times the times the times times times times times is possible times is possible. Yeah? Yeah? Yeah. times. times. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. times. times. times. times. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. times. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. times. Yeah. times. Yeah. times. times. times. Yeah. times. t. t. t. t. Yeah. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toge. the the the the the the the th. the th. th. the toge. te. times. times. times. times. times. times last year, accounting for nearly half of all complaints in Australia. Oh my God, what are we picturing? What's the demographic here? Complaints George. I'm a 60 year old man, right? 60 year old, yeah. 60 to 70 year old, white man.

Yeah. that's like a white Australian guy named like Les. So he's fucking hates it. He was there before the airport. So we're tok tok toking toking toking toking toking toking toking toking toking to to to to to to to tod tod today today tha tha tho to to to to to to to tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoooooo. thoooooo. thooo. thoooooo. toe. toe. toe. toe. tho. What he fucking hates it. He was there before the airport. So we're talking an average of love like 57 complaints a day, right? Is that it? So many? Single Perth resident is said to have complained more than 21,000 times about over flying aircraft last year. It would be like maybe I would love to know how many flights that were over his house and if it was every time I hear a plane.

Every time I hear a plane, right? That's got to be. Yeah. The unidentified complainant's prolific record is revealed in numbers provided to a Senate inquiry looking into the impact of noise from aircraft on cities and regional centers. The data shows that the number of people complaining about aircraft noise has actually fallen since 2019, but the number of complaints has almost trebled because those complaining are doing so repeatedly. A submission to the Senate inquiry by Air Services Australia, the federal government organization that manages the country's skies,

reveals complaints doubled to 51,589 in 2023. However, more than 30,000 of these were made by just five people, led by the Perth complainant who filed 21,716 complaints or an average of 60 per day. As a comparison, the next biggest complainant in Brisbane, fired off 4,071. 60 per day. Which is still so many. It's so many. Like do you think he's got it like on auto? It's got to be. I think this came up. So we talked about a very similar case to this, like two years ago in the bonus episode Dingus Day at the Polish nook about a guy who made 23,000 complaints in one year about

Dublin Airport and he constituted 90% of the complaints about Dublin airport was just this one guy. And I think the article we read about it did suggest that sometimes these things were automated. The people just set up a thing to be like for every flight that goes overhead, file a complaint about the noise. Have you considered just like enjoying the people just set up a thing to be like for every flight that goes overhead file a complain about the noise. Have you considered just like enjoying the sound of it? What a rush? Beautiful machine? Yeah, big wush? Ooh! Yeah, imagine getting it here a big wush like 60 times a day.

I... I'm definitely like, of the mind that the levels of industrial and ambient noise we hear all the time is probably very bad for us. This is one of my crystal adjacent hippie beliefs. Like mentally. Yeah, like living in cities, not physically. I don't believe it, I believe that's where autism comes from. But like that there's something there that like, it's probably not good for your mental health in some way to constantly be on like, like the, like the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the their all all all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their all their their their their their their their their their their that there's something there that like, it's probably not good for your mental health in some way to constantly be on like crazy loud levels of noise

as background noise and the planes probably. But what if we try it, we don't know. Well, I mean, we're doing it for long enough. But like, what are these people want? Yeah, I also don't understand what you can kind of do about planes. Because all you can do is change a flight path, which is just making it worse for the environment. Has it stopped the thing? Has it stopped the planes going overhead? Apparently not. Although I guess, like, they've got a curfew at Sydney airport for these reasons. Well, because like, there was all the people around like the inner west stuff,

near the airport were just sick of that shit. The Greens in Australia have made like a really big deal in lots of different cities about flight paths and aircraft noise, which is something I just do not notice or give a shit about. It's a thing where I've lived in Essendon and like very, very close to the airport. It's like you just, it just becomes background noise. It's quite a pleasant little sound. I live... Take a Dillinger escape plan on your speakers.

I live right close to a train line that freight trains regularly go on, like the really fucking long, really loud freight trains, and it's loud and it's often, and it's throughout the night at times. And I'm like, yep, okay, I just got used to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to to to the the to to the the to the the the their their their their thoomk, to to to be to be to be the their their their the. tooom. tooom. tooing, that's, that's, th. the their the the the the their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. theathea' thean. thean. today, thea'ean. train. train, train, train, train, thea'e.e.e.e.e. their, the night at times and I'm like, yep, okay, I just got used to that noise. You can get white noise playlists that are of that sound, you know? Yeah, we just make it like an ASMR thing. Make yourself enjoy it. I live in the apartment from seven and I've got bigger things going on right now. I live in a very quiet suburb and if I hear any kind of noise I can't immediately identify. I'm calling zero and then pushing in zero and holding my finger over the make call go button.

I'm peeping out from behind my curtains my heart rate through the roof. I'm so scared. I immediately burst into the children's room and I tell them someone is coming to get you. Someone is trying to kill you, stay here. The house is compromised. The house is compromised. I say stay here until I come back. If I don't come back it means I've been killed and then I forget about telling them that and I go back to bed. I'm going to start making complaints about the garbage me up on Thursday morning. What if it's um, what if it's not like a boomer aged person who is doing all of these, but what if it's like more of a Reddeter type guy

who doesn't like this and thinks that it's his right to not hear planes? And he's like maybe created like his own little application, hooks into like some API for flight paths, and every time something goes over him, it just automatically fills out a thing and submits it. Because that's like so many complaints. I prefer thinking of an old guy, literally just sitting and firing off an email,

every time he hears a plane. He's opening his very old, like Dell laptop. Yeah, he's got a Telstra, the Telstra email address. He's got the IBM thing pad that they forgot to get back off him when he retired in 1998. Yeah. He's saying all the words out loud as he's typing them into his email client. I was most displeased to hear yet another plane.

Please refer to my previous 20,000 emails. You ever seen anyone over the age of like 45 type. Yeah. It's really frustrating. And they won't look at the screen the entire time. They'll look at the keyboard the whole time, just typing it out. And you can see just the mistakes accumulating on the screen. And they stop. And they look up. And then they move their hheheir their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the screen. And then they stop and they look up and then they move their hand purposefully over to the mouse. Sort of put the cursor where the first mistake is and they click in there and then they look back to the keyboard.

They place their hand very purposefully back on the keyboard and tap out the new mistake. They look up and move their hand to the mouse. Click. Anyway. Now he's getting over the little red mouse pointer thing on the IBM thinkpad. Yeah. And then really slowly trying to get it. Anyway, Air Service has declined to disclose the identity of the Perth complainant and whether they were filing on behalf of dogs, him, I want to know who he is. No, we know that if you make enough complaints the airlines will murder you.

We know that now. Yeah. Oh man, yeah. Dial it back, man. Oh good. I reckon if we sort of just looked at the suburbs that are under the busiest flight paths around Perth Airport and then filtered for residents who are over 50 and whose name is Les or Reg. And I reckon we're there. I reckon we can probably get him. 100%. Be like, hey, get a fucking hobby.

Do something out, move somewhere else. Like I know it's not that easy to move, but I know you got money, Les. Yeah. I know you bought that house 30 years ago. Obviously that's spare time. Yeah. Oh good. I don't know what the solution to any of this is either. Like, I mean, plane travel is bad, but it's also kind of the only way we can travel long distances currently that makes sense. You also can't just have your airports be like an hour and a half away from your major cities. It's not like we can just be like we're getting rid of Brisbane airport, it's now only the sunny coast airport, that's it. That's what you've got to go. I don't know what these people want. Like put your energy into pushing for a high-speed rail. Yes. Yeah. Do something helpful.

It's not going to happen, but neither is your thing. Yeah. Push for the cooler thing. Yeah. You're, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the thi the thi the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiii. thiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the thi. but neither is your thing. So, yeah. Push for the cooler thing. You're asking for something to stop instead of asking for something to change. Yeah, it's easier to tear something down and just to build it up. Yes. That's why doing this podcast is so easy. Have you thought about designing and building your own line of quiet planes? Now we're talking.

Get to work. Are the planes too loud for you? Invent a plane silencer. You know, take it as an opportunity to really let your mind work and come up with like a solution. Creative solutions. Try a little lateral thinking, Reg. This independent DIYer hand built his own Shinkansen.

In only 26 years. Uh, look, I don't think that the airport is actually going to take any of this on board and stop flying planes in there. So even having a complaint flying here, I think is a bit of a scam. It's time for scam watch. Warning, warning, someone has successfully or unsuccessfully attempted a scan and must be judged. This is Sam watch. This comes from WGN in Chicago, the wagon. Wagon watch. Don't fall for the falling lady scam on escalators. If you see a lady fall down, kick her and say... I would never fall for them. Say, call the police. Stay away from my money. Bitch! Nice try, sir. Ladies a man, man.

Start punching. Ask questions later. Yeah. Has someone in your neighborhood asked you for help? Destroy them physically. There's a chance that lady taking a tumble in a crowded place isn't so helpless. Travel experts are warning. Be suspicious of everyone around you.

Lay your backpack on the front. The commotion could be part of a scam travelers encounter at airports, train stations, and tourist attractions. Quote, if there's any crowd or something jostling or someone spills ketchup on you or there's a commotion, all these thieves are trying to distract you, travel blogger and influencer Johnny Jet explained. What are we doing here? I'm immediately finding that guy. If you get jostled or there's a crowd or there's a commotion, pull them out and start blasted. Start shooting. Johnny J, middle-aged man.

Concerning face. I don't know. To Johnny Jet, concerning face. R.E. Face. Something about this man that I do not like the look of. Basically any situation that occurs. Crowd, Jocelyn, ketchup. Ketchip? Ketzip, also thieves? Barbecue sauce? theauteau. to get me started.

You know you're in a rough neighborhood when they're spilling barbecue sauce. Ah, Alabama white barbecue sauce! Thieves! Hey, you guys hear a commotion hands over my wallet immediately. One such scam involves a person. Sometimes a person dressed as an elderly woman, you're getting Mrs. Doubtfired? Yeah, have you been Mrs. Doubt fired? Right. It is, sir. Pretending to fall down an escalator, Jet said. Have you seen a Mrs. Doubtfire fall cartwheeling down an escalator?

Protect yourself at all times. Oh, mother, I've been slipped over. Yet another reason to open Carrie, in my opinion? Yes. Oh yeah. You never know when you need to stand your ground, although I'm not sure how that works if the escalator is still moving you. The old lady's at the bottom of the escalator and you're stationary but the escalator's moving you towards her, is it still correct to shout, I'm standing my ground? What do you think?

It's a philosophical conundrum. She's coming right at me! Back, back, bang, back, back. A lady goes arse over tits on the escalator. Vats immediately kicks it. Chook. There's a 90% chance of hitting their head. Here we go. As bystanders rush to help, their pockets are emptiedto phones and wallets and handed to accomplices riding the escalator in the other direction. What is this Ocean's 11 bullshit? Yeah.

I like it. It's creative. I don't believe this for a second. I believe this happened once, maybe. How many, how many people do they think are involved in this, in this scam? 20 to 30 individuals. Yeah, this is a makeup department. This is some real like I got pickpocketed and I was on the Truman show. Yeah. You know, everybody in this airport is is conniving to get my iPhone 10 out of my pocket.

This is a great excuse to just not help an old lady that fell down. I'm not someone for that. Yeah, good luck your old bitch. It's my self-worth. I'm not going to do this. I've seen this one before. Oh yeah that's definitely a compound fracture. Goodbye. Are they finding a new escalator? Or can you just stand by this one escalator and see the world's greatest show go off the whole day long? Every 15 minutes, oh bother! So the way this is supposed to work is that the robust young acrobat in Mrs. Doubtfire cosplay falls down the escalator. Oh!

Immediately all of the all of the marks around them, let's say five, six, seven marks, rush in. Yeah, trying to dispense help. They are, they are instantly ringed by another, let's say, 10 people rivaling through all of their pockets and backpacks. Also, I'm going to guess there is a continuous stream of people heading up the escalator in the other direction. Ready to receive. Ten people? The other goods. You need a person for every person that's trying to go through a pocket, right? Yes. But it's like the Toyota production line. Everybody is in the one spot and they have one job to do. Yeah, except they're on an escalator so they're moving. You've got the tumbling granny. You've got the guy on bum bags, you've got the guy on wallets,

so forth. I've been studying pockets. Yeah. I'm into a guy that's there to get shit out of the travels that you you you you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that you're that's that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. out of that. That's why they're so successful with this scam. They've got a can ban going on. Yeah, yes. They've got a trellow sorted out. The guy who's effortlessly getting into your travel wallet down the front of your pants, you know? Yeah. He's in there. I don't think pickpocketing be really worth it thathe thii. Let's cancel your cards for me. I put a hand in my pants, come back with a jelly star.

Throwing it away and disgust. Do you reckon the bum bag guy's understudy to the tumbling grandma? Oh, there's definitely a hierarchy. Watch and learn, young blood. Oh, one day. Oh! Tumbling down. I mean, you know, it's like being a stuntman, right. Learn, young blood. Oh! Oh! Tumbling down.

I mean, you know, it's like being a stunt man, right? Like all of the effort goes into doing the fall and making it look like you've been hurt. Yeah. Yeah. You thought I had a compound fracture? Jokes on you. Now I have your, like, half a sleeve of nicotine gum. Mm-hmm. I've got your pouch of champion ruby tobacco that is three quarters empty. Your Home Depot loyalty card. I've got a phone so small that if I try to hold it in my cupped hands

it slips through the cracks in my fingers. Oh, I got a phone, but I accidentally breathed it in. Oh no. Truly, truly sick sad society here. Oh, I got a phone, but I accidentally breathed it in. Oh no. Truly, truly sick sad society here. If this is the travel advice that you're getting, is any person that you see who seems like they need help is out to get you. I think it's very reflective of what seems to be the wider trend in American society. Yeah, is this an American guy? Johnny Jet? Oh yeah, he's visibly American. Oh yeah, have you seen his face?

Picture is the most American man you've ever seen. Yeah. Yeah. He looks like an airline pilot who retired, gets his teeth cleaned twice a week. And now he waits, bogs. Yeah. So just circling back to the phone thing, my niece who's 14 years old, 14, 15, she actually thinks it's cool.

So my phone isn't actually like Chugie or anything like that. She thinks it's not Chuggy. Are you going to team to sign up on the phone? It's been, it's teen approved. It's been, it's this cool or chuggy? No, this was- You can say it if it's true. This was uninvited.

It's kind of like anti-consumerist, you know, I'm sort of pulling myself out of the rat race of getting a more expensive bigger phone. It's probably giving Y2K, right? It's probably giving Y2K. No, definitely not alive in Y2K. They still love those Y2K vibes. Oh yeah, they love a Y2K vibe. Yeah. I'm just looking at Johnny Jet.com. Just nextime you want to weigh in on the... I could find a T to say that it's stupid. Ten minutes. Give me ten minutes. I'll the tea to say that that that pho-it is stupid. I don't think they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're give. I they're give. I they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. I'm just give. I'm just give give give th. I'm just give thi. I'm just th. I'm just th. I'll th. I'm just th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll the. I'll thi. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll the. I'll th. I'll th. that their phone is stupid. No, they're all very honest these days. I'm just looking at Johnnyjet.com because Johnny Jet is a media company. And Johnny Johnny Jet is... He's doing point hacks. He's a point hacks guy. Well, I'm just looking at the travel tip of the day and the travel tip of the day is

golden retriever dies after airline sends pet to wrong airport and doesn't give him water. That's not a tip. That's not a tip. And that's not fun. That's not nice. I'm trying to figure out how that applies to me and my travel. I don't want to tell this guy how to do his job, but that's not the,. That's not the tone. Don't do that. Here's another travel tip of the day.

Yikes, United Airlines flight stuck on tarmac during a tornado. We've got our rewards and points guides, credit card guides, and then basically what seems to be AI generated social media churn posts. So... Yeah, this website's garbage. It's good to know that we've got Johnny Jet out here looking after us, telling us not to trust each other. Ideally you should kick an old lady if she falls down in front of you. Yeah, say not today, bitch. And then immediately followed up with a critical hit from your 22 pistol. Yeah, that's right. Johnny Jet, I'll kill you. I'll kill you. I fucking hate you, man.

If I see it's on site. You're a walking fucking dead man. Johnny Jet. Do not set foot in Brisbane, especially the inner west of Brisbane. We will get you. Now, I will kill you. I will kill you. Johnny Jet. And I'm not joking. I'm gonna fucking kill you, Johnny Jet. If I see your dead-eyed grin in my neck of the woods Johnny Jet, I am coming for you with a steal bat. I will take your life. I learned about you five minutes ago.

I'll fucking go to prison for the rest of my life if that's what it takes. I don't give a fuck. If that's th th that's that's that's that's that's tha that's tha tha that's tha tha tha tha that's that that that that that that that that that that thatk thatk to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to foomk. I'll to f. I'll to to to to to f. I'll to to f. I'll to f. I'll to to to f. I'll to to to to to to you to you to you to you to you to to too. I tho. I'll tho. I'll tho. I'll tho tho ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta ta today. I'ma today. I'm today. I'll today. I'll too'a. I'll too'a. I'll fucking go to prison for the rest of my life if that's what it takes. I don't give a fuck. You're gone. If that's what it takes to protect my kids from fucking Johnny Jet, I'll do it. I don't want them to have to see this man or hear his poisonous, poisonous views. Now, look, I know we all think that he's encouraging us to stand on the neck of an old lady who has fallen down. But the article does continue. If you see someone fall down an escalator, the stairs, or anywhere else, if you see someone fall over in the pub after attempting to do a backflip to impress a lady, you don't have to be too scared.

Yeah, you don't have to be completely cold-hearted to avoid being scammed." Johnny Jeth says, just take a split second to make sure you know where your belongings are before jumping into action. Quote, stand back, guard your valuables, then carefully move into help, said Jett. Not his name. Echoing advice from travel writer, Rick Steve's. Rick Steve's. You know what? Rick Steve? If I see you in public? I'm going to do the thing from Scario too where he uses his finger in a weird way to fire

the gun like 20 times really quickly. I'll fucking kill you, Rick Steves. Rick Steves, I am going to curbstomp you like Edward Norton in America History X if I see you. Say goodbye to your family, Rick Steves. Probably do it sooner rather than later. Rick Steves, I'm gonna make a widow out of your wife. I'm gonna orphan your children. Rick Steves, if I see you, you are going to be on the news. You're going to be on the news that night. Just because I edited you almost entirely out of this article for length and clarity, that won't stop me from fucking diving you.

Rick Steves? I've been, I've Steve's? Get your affairs in order. Keep your head on a swivel. I've been running the numbers on the scamly Kubrick on this one. Oh! And it's not looking good. We had someone pine for the scamly. I pine for the Stanley Schaumley Kubrick. Yeah, the scamly Kubrick. Yeah, the scthe Stanley Kubrick. Scamley Kubrick? Yeah, the Scamley Kubrick.

That's the, that's the Schubric, the cube-shaped rubric, for scabs. For scabs. Yeah, because of the three axes of our data points. Three axes, that's right. Originality, execution. And are they, are they kicking someone that's worth it? Boldness, isn't it?

Boldness, boldness and execution and is it punching up or punching down. Yeah, victimliness. Yeah, more punit, you're taking advantage of people's, yeah, boldness, pretty funny. Not the boldest one we've seen, but I think throwing in the old lady, fallen down the excalator,'ve seen, but I think throwing in the old lady fallen down the execution, falling down the escalator, that's a good start. Execution, well they're obviously, they haven't been caught yet. Yeah.

But on the punching down side, I think they're just gone, it's on for young and old. It's a massacre. You are specifically praying on the good-hearted as well. The good, kindly husbands of Idaho and Wisconsin and other parts of America where they go. Good Midwest boys, good Midwest boys who are just trying to help because they were raised right? Yeah. And they say, honey, watch the kids for a second I'm going to go help that old lady because you know what? And you're kicking them out. That old lady would have helped me. Can I...

Too bad. I've got a phone's gone. I've got an issue here actually, which is that I think that I need to walk back what I've said about Rick Steve's. Well, I can't. I've looked at some pictures of pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures pictures He is not the dead-eyed shark that Johnny Jet is. Johnny Jet looks like a blight on humanity. Johnny Jet, Johnny Jet looks like a swarm of locusts got together and figured out how to animate a human body and pilot it around and see if they could end the species.

Rich Steve's looks like a labral. He's got a very warm energy to him. Oh, what a kindly smile. I'm just getting Mark to bring up some pictures for us here. Unfortunately, Rick Steve's really looks... He will not stand a chance. Young Rick Steve's traveling Europe looks like someone that Ben would be very close friends with. Yeah, I love this guy's whole vibe.

So, I'll watch the glasses, the hair, the beard, the shorts. He's drinking a beer and eating some bread on the side of the road with his shirt popped off, he's living, you know. This dude rules, he looks great. I'm sorry, I want to apologize to Rick Steves. I will not kill you, it is not on site. I will not Sicario to you, Rick Steves. I take it back. Let us please walk that one back.

Johnny Jet, though, I will redouble my efforts to end you. All of the, all the, all the energy that I was gonna put it. Killing Rick Steve. All of the rage that I what I was already directing at Johnny Jet. Johnny Jet, literally any day next week could be Day of the Soldado for you. Hey, today. Hey, today. We're going to have to film Sucario 3 to come up with more things that we're going to do to

Johnny Jet. Even crazier ways to use a gun. Rick Steves is a vocal proponent of legalizing cannabis. Rick Steves, I'll fucking kill you. I'm going to turn you with a fucking dog food rest. Bench is becoming Wesley Snipes with the tear rolling down. Wait, did you say legalizing cannabis? Legalizing, he also supports solutions to homelessness, and in 2005 he constructed a 24-unit apartment complex in Linwood, Washington, called Trinity Place, and administrated by the local YWCA to provide transitional housing for homeless mothers and their children. Rick Steves, I won't kill you. I love you, Rick Steves. You're a good guy. Rick Steves. Rick Steves, you got it all figured out.

Rick Steves, I'm a saint. I officially give you the protection of the podcast, Buntavista, wherever you are, anywhere in the world. I will protect you with my life. I will lay down my life for you. Rick Steves, I'm writing your name out and then designing a series of protective sigils around it in order to keep you safe. I'm directing my energy from far away to preserve you. You know? Oh listeners of Punta Vista! Here our call! Use your energy to put white magic spells of protection around Rick Steve's. He is part of our coven now.

Gather ye rice and maketh Elbereth. Rick Steve's is an active Lutheran. Rick Steve's a fucking kill. This is a fascinating man. Rick Steve's contains multitudes. There he is. Oh, Richard Steve's redirects here for the American serial killer, save Richard Staves. Okay, Richard Steve.

Richard Steve? Richard Steve, I'll kill you. Black magic only for Richard Steve's. Yeah, I want to know what's what's going on with the serial kill? What did he get up to? Was it anything good? He was, no, nothing good idea. Oh, this guy really is like the Bizarro

Evil Rick Staves. Because his picture of Dorian Gray. Yeah, this is like two, two Ease Well, three Eaves really. Richard Steve's with three Ease. Which one's the bad one between Yin and Yang? Is there a bad one? Are they just? I think we need both for harmony. All. All right, so you need Rick Steve's, the saint that Holmes, orphans by hand, and Richard Steves, the American serial killer who murdered five men in a multi-state crime spree. I am liking that he murdered five men and they said, I don't like that. They said, hey, we have acquitted you for reason of insanity, and then they let him out of a mental hospital and he immediately killed his neighbor. Oh my God.

And then they said, you know what? Back to jail, buddy. Yeah. Go on, then. You blew your chance. We gave you, we trusted you out there letting them out we believe that everyone deserves a second chance oh no yeah everyone except this guy bring him back in bring him back in yeah it loves killing people that's been Rick Steve's corner yeah and that is I'm gonna say absolutely bit an episode of

the podcast Buntavista thank you so much joining us, paybos and freebos alike. If you like what you hear, you can get twice as much of it a week by simply signing up to our Patreon. It's the price of like a schooner of beer, like a schooner of cheap beer, a month. Like half of a beer in London. Beer is expensive now, if you notice that. Not this podcast though. It's pretty cheap. Yeah, this podcast, good value for money if you like it. Bad value for money if you don't. Yeah. We have a live show coming up June 15th, Newstead Brewingco, Brisbane, tickets at Buntavista.com slash live. Buy your tickets now so I know how many seats I have to rent. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, th, th, th, it it it it th, it th, it their, it'll th, it'll th, it'll th, it'll th, it'll th, it'll th. Yeah, it'll th. Yeah, it'll the, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's, it's, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's th. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's, it's. It's, it's, it's, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. Yeah, it's the. It's the. It's pretty the. thea's pretty the thea' thea' the the thea' thea' thea' the thea' thea' their tickets now so I know how many seats I have to rent.

Yes. Because it'll be really embarrassing if I don't rent enough, but also really embarrassing if I rent too many. I do know an exact number of seats. I want there to be enough for maybe like five empty spots just in case we end up with awkward arrangements of groups. Yeah. You know, people that don't want to sit next to each other. The problem is that if we hire too many seats and we don't want it to look empty and like we didn't sell enough seats, we'll have to do something else with the seats like, put them

all up on stage with us. And that's going to make to come out and it will not happen. We don't, there are no guests. We don't know anybody else. We don't really know anyone. They did not return our calls. They did it. People don't really like us that much.

Yeah, we're kind of loners, Mavericks, and as far as I know the only podcast in Australia. Unpleasant to deal with. Yeah, singular. We like each other. Other people don't like us. Uh-huh. So we'll see you with that. It should be a lot of fun. I'm going to say that.

Yes, good move. Good move. Good move. Yeah. It'll be funny. Yeah, so stay safe out there until the live show. That's because we need you there. It's also the end of Playprol. So stop telling your friends about it.

Do not. Hide your love away. For 11 months, do not recommend this podcast. Kikit Kast Light. What was that name of the podcast you said I should listen to? I've never told you. I've never to tol the the th the th th th a the th you th you thured thured thured tha tha tha tha tha tho to tho to to tho told told told told told told told you told you told you told you told told you told you told you told you told you told you told you told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told. told told told told told told told told told told told told told told told told. told told. told told told told. told told told told told told told told told too tho. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to too. to you about a podcast. I just know what the fuck a podcast is. I don't know you. We will see you ne nex thee. Bye!

Bye. you know the