Boonta Vista - EPISODE 346: Accidentally Bone Collector

Episode Date: May 12, 2024

Lucy, Theo, Andrew, and Ben bring you: $540,000 of lost potential ostrich meat, a bus driver punished for being too Italian, the vagaries of tooth disposal, and the lucrative career of Mr Never Scores. *** Outro: Bone Collector - Ho99o9 *** Get tickets for the live show right here: boontavista.com/live *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show! *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista Website: boontavista.com Merchandise: shop.boontavista.com/ Twitch: twitch.tv/boontavista

Welcome to Buente Welcome to Winter. Welcome to Winterfist episode 346. My name's Andrew and I'm here on the new International Mother's Day for Supermothers. As I lay here in my soft, warm hay, muzzling at the hot dog-sized teet in front of me, I give thanks for all the mothers out there. But especially the one in front of me. I'm filled with the the the the the with the the with their the with respect their the the, or give thanks for all the mothers out there, but especially the one in front of me. I'm filled with respect, awe, and a deep well of terror. To my left, also suckling away at one of the teats of our supermother, hair matted down with

dried milk. It's Ben. Good morning, Ben. I fucking love the supermother, dude. She is a queen. She's literally a queen in like a hive organization structure sense of the friends. She's mother. She is giving mother. Yes. And also milk. Lots of milk. But it's messy. Thing is like you get really relaxed with your tummy all full of warm milk, but don't get too relaxed because if she rolls over you have to be ready to move. Yeah, we're ready to scoot out of the way there real quick, you know? Yeah, I'm running sideways unlike the people in the movie Prometheus. Mm-hmm. You know, they ran down.

to the line that thing was traveling. I watched Prometheus last night. Yeah, it's not good. Good never. Hi? Love it. Those two prequel movies are fucking fantastic. I've got to get on that. Yeah. Get on it, brother. I should give him another try. Maddie and I have watched all of the movies in the alien universe in the last week except for alien.

I don't know why we started on aliens. We've watched aliens, alien three, alien four, alien versus predator, alien versus predator, two, Prometheus and alien covenant. I'll tell you what, oh my goodness, half those movies are so good. I've only seen Prometheus. That's the most fucked up thing you could have said to me this morning. That's probably the worst one would have been saying I've only seen Alien versus Predatorium. Yeah. Who are all these guys? What is that guy?

Aren't they both aliens? They both seem predatory as well. And to my right, picking a teet hair out from between her teeth and looking not all that interested due to the sore tummy she's gonna get from all this hot savory milk it's Lucy. Like have you got anything else? Like do I have to drink all this milk? You don't want to offend Supermother. I don't want to offend she's got a temper. I've worked out where the milk is coming from. Yeah I don't I don't want to be the one to say to say to say to say to say to say to say say to say the to say the one to say the one to say the one the one to say the to say the the to say the the to say the the the to say the the to say the the the to the to the the the the the to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tea tea.a.a. tea' tea' tea' tea' tea' tea' tea'a' tea'a' tea'a' toa' to to be the one to say no more hot, salty milk for me. You know? No trunky milk for me, mother. Oh, come on the hell.

I don't like this one. I'm dumb it. If we ever had a veto before, like if we all... I had a joke veto on one of the ones I did, but not a proper veto. Which we should have come out for the turd factory perhaps, but... I think in our charter that any permanent member of the podcast is allowed to veto any motion put forward by a non-permanent member. I can't because this is absolutely... Nine minutes before the podcast was due to start.

I messaged, surely someone can grind out something foul for Mommy's Day. He did, that was very helpful. Yeah, he read the assignment. That's right. He read the assignment. He read the assignment. He read the assignment. He read the assignment. He read the assignment.

What's the fucking saying? God damn it, my brain is decaying. He understood. He understood him. Anyone can read the assignment. Well he had to read it first before he understood it. Yes. He grocked it. Yeah. He grucked it. He grucked it. Yeah. You can tell that he gruced it from how much it was the assignment. And finally, we're only five minutes into the intro folks, and finally, the heaving fleshy mound of muscle and hair that we worship and duly fear, the one we celebrate with tribute of Cadbury roses and thoughtlessly written cards, it's her, the Queen, the Supermother! It's Theo! Hey, what's going on?

You look great. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You don't look a year over eons. My 5,000... My 5,000 horrible little broodlings gave me five fucking minutes to do my hair this morning and that's all I ask.

You know, my, okay, so my, my teats, I don't think they're breasts, they are teats, they are kind of spilling out of a unicloafo vest, which, for some reason, has drawn the ire of the horrible little creatures that I could roll over and squish it at any point. Not a lot of listeners know this, but oftentimes the fantastical scenarios that we come with on this podcasted drawn from the fabric of real life. And Theo is still reeling from the fact that eight minutes ago when he logged on we all said nice vest he's wearing a vest. To be clear this is not like a vest like you would someone who works at Hertz behind the counter would be required it's not like a vest you would wear in a

billion competition. It's not like a pinstripe magician vest or anything. It's a casual puff a vest which I thought was fine to wear in my own house. From Uniclo, you say, it's a Uniclo. It's a Uniclo. It might be from Uniclo. Yeah. So your chest is warm but your arms are nice. arms. Yeah, it makes sense. It is a nice fest. You look great. Am I'm an alien? I suppose I am. Yeah, you have to be. You have to be. Tetes and milk. But I do lay eggs. Yes, you do.

Which would make me a monetary. So you can make an omelette from your things that you produce. Yeah. And it's pre-salted. Beautiful beautiful eggs covered in a fine layer of hair. You should make hairy eggs. Why aren't the eggs hairy? I want to know. Imagine a nice it'd feel to hold an egg that was covered with like the kind of... Well, the kind that like, like the outside of a platypus, you know? Yes. Yeah, okay. Smooth.

Smooth, smooth. Platipus eggs should come out, covered in like a leathery substance with hair on it, just like the platypus. An egg should communicate the type of animal that is inside. I went to the zoo the zoo the zoo the zoo the zoo the zoo the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the animal that is inside. I went to the zoo a couple of weekends ago and I went to the Turonga Zoo and I learned a fun fact about platypus is that they do produce milk and they do the young younglings do have the milk but they don't have nipples. How do they get the milk?

It's a logic puzzle. It's a riddle. You gotta squeeze the platypus so that it kind of oozes out of them. They've got like these like folds. The weird folds on their sides or something? I don't know, I only got to the part that was like they breast feed without nipples. Oh, Milky Flaps? I think they got Milky Flaps. I think they got Milky Flaps.

Yeah. So that's a real true fact you could take home from this podcast today. Okay, so we're back on. So I learned, we were never gone. We were never gone. What you're talking about? I learned a a a a a a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple that that that a couple a couple that a couple that a couple that a couple that a couple that a couple that that a couple that poosy that a couple a couple a couple that possy that that that that that that that that that that that a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a couple a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a couple a that a that that that that that that that that that that possums have like a forked dick and then the lady possums have either two pussies or two inside pussies whatever you call that else or is that both? Probably both. Mammals I think. No not mammals, marsupials.

Huh, that's crazy dog. Isn't nature spectacular? Yeah, it is. Yeah. And it's something... Sorry. Just look, I just googled possum vagina, you keep going. Puh. I've got a lot of reading to do. Nature is something that we explore in Nature Corner. me home to the place. I belong. Will take a stir. Nation corner. Rubber crab. Snip my dike.

Lucy. Lucy, how are you going there because you would sort of make in a face there the whole time? They have two vaginas and an extra pseudo-vagina. Oh, was that to redirect the Simon from unwanted mates. Oh, perhaps. If he seems like a pathetic loser, you're like... Is this a pathetic loser, it's like get that out of here? Wait, sorry, I didn't need to shift a little bit. It's like a fake controller that they give to the dude to think he's playing. Yeah, dude, you can absolutely nut in me.

Use this one. It's foul. I might just leave that one alone. That's for later. I can just think of a tool now, singing, Prying, open my third vagina. Jesus. This is from KWKT. The quacked.

It's too early for it. Yeah. Valley Mills ranch owner searches for 120 missing ostriches after extreme flooding. That's a lot of ostriches. There's too many ostriches to have. To have. You imagine. You imagine.

Like looking at you. Just heads sort of following you around. I saw a video the other day and it was somebody in like a, somebody in some type of commercial like meat prep place and they had strung up a dead ostrich that had had all of its feathers taken off and its head and it was like, it was, it was just strung up like they were ready to sort it out like a chicken except it was the size of an ostrich and let me tell you doesn't look right no that's it looks like a Ron Muick sculpture yes it feels like the kind of world building they'd include in the background of blasphemous.

Yeah, it's not, it was not good. I was like, you shouldn't be doing this. Yeah, it doesn't be that. Yeah, a foul right that you're performing here. Oh, the plucking of the ostrich. You are the, a foul, a foul right. Oh, I guess you're not getting the stinger. Is it out? But is it on, is the stinger on the soundboard? No, it's done on there.

I need to know what we're playing for. You hate the stinger. I don't hate it. I don't hate anything. We are constantly getting comments from people saying, Make Ben do it. He 't commit and we're angry. Yeah, and it's just the ones that I, the stingers I made, that he made, the awful ones that I made to be deliberately unpleasant to listen to that he won't put on this. Yeah, what's your problem with those ones? But he'll put the fucking Polish National Anthem on there.

Yeah, it's declared twice or one episode. They're not foul. Because they're not in the clade. You're not like a bird or fowl. I mean, they are disgusting. They're disgusting. Horrible animals. You imagine, you know, They're just shitting everywhere.

So they're not foul. What makes a foul. You have to be in the group. Check. We're talking turkeys, chickens, etc. Megapodes, chakalachers, Guards, Turtles, Turkeys, Grouse, Guards, New World Quayles, pheasants, Partridge, Guinea fowl. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

It's good to know. I'm going to store that in my third pseudo-court drawer. People, people pulling the car over to get the no-pad out and write down, Gwan equal foul. And then indicating to pull back onto the road. Not looking either. Do you reckon the comedian of the week's singer is just called comedian. That's got to be it?

Seems reasonable. I don't know. How long have we had it for? Six of September. Well the uh... I guess we'll find out. The what's that smell one is not. No, because it's the smells that the go hmmm one but it's called what's that smell. that's that smell. Yeah, which is really fucking confusing. You can't. the, uh. the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, the, th. th, th, th, the, th, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the, the, then the one I have here is all capitals comedian. You haven't... Yeah, okay, that sounds about right. The severe weather and flooding we experienced this weekend. We experienced. I didn't experience that.

Him and the Ostages. The severe weather and flooding we experienced this weekend has ruffled some feathers and one ranch is try to fix the situation. This guy's going to lose the farm and you're making fucking jokes. Yeah, this guy's not doing well, mentally or financially. Punching down. He's going home to Carlogene Moss and saying, it's going to be all right. Yeah, she's asking the opposite of where did you get that? Where did you lose those? You th you th you th th th th th th th th th th and you don't th. You don't to to to to to to to to the the their their to their to their to to to to to to the to be all right. She's asking the opposite of where did you get that? Where did you lose those?

You don't have to know everything, Kaila Jean Moss. The Siberia Ostridge Company in Valley Mills is still looking for many of their birds that got loose. Just a hand up to the forehead, scanning the horizon. Well, I'm out of ideas. They're pretty big. I'm thicking I could find I can't of ideas. They're pretty big. I'm thinking I could find an ostrich. Yeah, the ostrich hunter. That's what they call you. There it is. It's really tall. It's got spicuous. It's just there. I can see its head. Big orange bird over there? What color in an ostrich? Ben says, he's put his head sideways like a dog.

Like a dog that's hurt a car that he doesn't recognize, pull into the driveway. It's like big orange bird. Black? What? I was gonna go with white? Black and white. Yeah, black and white. And they're sort of the color of the French made.

They're pink. Oh, yeah. And we have big, pink legs. They're kind of sluttie. They're kind kind kind kind kind kind kind of kind of their. They're kind of their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that that that that thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. sluddy. They're kind of cunty. Dude, they're kind of serving. You said it yourself, Ben, they've got pink legs. They're wearing a, they're their pink legs and they're wearing a French maid's outfit. It's like they're covering their nudity with a feather bower, dude.

It's sluddy. It's kind of, it's giving coquettate. You, you, you, you, you, burns coquettish as hell, dog. Quote, I've always had a finger in the ranching operation here all my life. That's hot. Don't say that. Okay. Come on, man. Don't need to describe it that way. I've been squelching around in the ranching business for years. And I've seen several flood, but this one was one, but this one of the grand... And I've seen several flood, but this one of the granddaddy of all floods, said,

Reg Lindbergh, Superior Ostrich Company founder. You can't pluralize flood two different ways in the same sentence. That's chaos. You deserve to lose your ostrich. This guy can put that in my that in that in that in that in th. that in th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that's chaos you deserve to lose your ostrich this guy can I'm gonna put that in my vocab the granddaddy of yeah storing that one for later I'm putting that on rotation yeah oh this is the granddaddy of all pet nets Linberg believes the floodwaters carried the ostriches into the Bosque River God what an image that's not we mean it's obviously a tragedy but the the the the the the the the the the thity thity th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the the. the the the the the. I the. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I can can can't the. I can't the. the. the. te. tra. toda. tra. te. toda. today. today. today. the. the. the. the. the. carried the ostriches into the Bosque River. God, what an image. It's not, I mean it's obviously a tragedy but also.

These birds might be dead. Yeah. Do you think they float on the surface like a duckwood? That's what I'm picturing. And I would prefer to picture it that way. They look buoyant. Yeah, but I'm not sure if they're balanced they're balanced they're balanced they're balanced they're balanced they're balanced they're balanced they're balanced they're balanced they're balanced they're balanced they're balanced they're balanced they're balanced their balanced they're balanced they're balanced the immediately flip upside down legs in the air. You don't be able to get back up. Horrible. Yeah. Ostriches do now this is this is according to venerable

publication. You're learning a lot. Yeah yeah yeah this is according to the venerable publication homework. Study. Yep. Ostriachers do, though it is considered to be unusual behavior. An ostrich can keep a float in the water and kick with its long legs to propel itself and this act has been observed in many situations. They kind of like got the perfect body shape to be, you know maybe 800 meter swimmer. They do seem to be doing a duck style then. Oh my god, ostriches are doing it duck style? You've heard it here first folks. Ostriches are doing it duck style. 2024.

Oh my god, that's the fucking Loch Ness monster. Wow! They look like the Lochness monster! We're solving so much stuff today. That's what it was the Loch Ness Monster was just one blown escaped. Just an ostrich. That's fucking incredible. They really do be looking, except for the size thing. Is the Loch Ness Monster meant to be big?

It's probably meant to be bigger than an ostrich, even though an ostrich is big for a bird, it's small for a crypted beast in the... Yeah, but maybe maybe it's just just thi it's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi, thi, thi, thi thi th thi th thi th that's that's th that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, but maybe it's just closer than you realize. Yes. Right now we're looking at about 120 birds still unaccounted for, said Lindberg. There's too many ostriches to have missing! Or in the first place? Lindberg and his team have found 80 ostriches within five miles of the ranch. So it's so far up to 200 ostriches. Video game quest ass activity.

Hurting the ostriches. Hey there, Traveler, can you help me find my 120 ostriches? I can give you coin. But there's a catch. Three cloth. How annoying would it be if you had to do like an individual escort quest for every one of these 120 ostriches? Yeah, no this way this way he's stuck on a tree Yeah, they've got like the morrow wind level follow mechanics where they move much slower than you and you can lose them very easily and you'll never be able to find them again because there's no map markers and you can't finish the game. the guy the the theyneu the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they. they. they. they. they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I they. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their. their their their their their they. they. they. they. they. th is th is they. the. the. the is the is the is. the is they. the is they. theeeeeea. theeea. thea' thea' thea' thea' they. thea' they. their their the is the game because this guy that you needed to follow you was just completely disappeared he doesn't like reset to go anywhere else.

The prophecy has been. So, like I'm constantly saying, I'm not looking to besmirch anyone but potential insurance scam? Can you insure your ostriches? I fucking bet you can. Absolutely, yeah. Maybe flushed those ostriches. Yeah. How the flood got rid of them?? them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their prophecy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah? I bet you can't. Absolutely, yeah. Maybe flush to those ostriches. Yeah.

How the flood got rid of them? Ah, I'm going to need my money back for my ostriches. Yeah. Where's your bathroom full of feathers, sir? Very, very, very large French made, thrown, this is from my boaurs. This is for me, my boa collection. This is where I come to have my balls tickled. Oh this is the room I sashay around him so and it's kind of private. Is that a crime? Is it a crime to serve in the privacy of your own home? You might actually

be hate cramming me right now I think. I'm gonna be rich. Strike that last thing I said from the record. The others may come as a financial loss. Plus also they're dead. Write them off. Yeah, well, you know, he's got his mind on his money. What about emotional loss? Yeah. You know, what about pepper? I don't know if this guy cares for these birds. He, I don't think he does, based on the rest of this article. Okay.

What about all, I'm gonna name all 120 of this. All right. And they're all women, interesting. What about Debbie? Ostriches are women, that's my understanding, yes. That's true, emus of men. Correct. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, we learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn we learn we learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We th. We learn. We th. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn th. We learn this. We learn this. We learn this. We learn this. We learn this. We learn this. We learn this. We learn this. We learn this. We learn this. We learn this. We learn th. We learn this from homework.study.com. Immus are boys. Osterages of girls. That's science. You can tell which one they're going to be when the egg comes out from the color of its feathers. Yes. Yes. On the egg.

Quote, when we process them, the meat's worth anywhere from $2,000 to could be as much as $3,000. They're valuable. It's just a big hit, said Lindbergh. Yuck. So we're processing these ostriches, huh? We're both meat. Yeah, ostrich meat. He's ranching these ostriches for their delicious, tasty ostrich meat. Well, $3,000 to $3,000 to $3,000.003,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00,000.00,000.00,000.00,000.00,000. th,000. to to $3,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000540,000 worth of lost ostrich meat.

That's half a million dollars of ostrich meat. Why are you processing ostriches? You are sick in the head, sir. It makes me sick, you're fucked. Yeah. Oh, I don't like what I'm reading here. I'm just reading about like what does ostrich meat tasks like. Yeah. With ostrich being taste like? Yeah.

With ostrich being so lean, most would expect it to be tough or gamey. However, it's quite the opposite. Ostrich is tender, juicy, and melts in your mouth. Its flavor is more like beef than it is poultry. Okay. Yeah, ostrich is the beef of the ground. Beef Bird. And many appreciate its subtle notes of butter and toasteatee that's coming to us from American ostrich farms.com, who I would trust to answer the question, is ostrich a good meat? Now, I don't need a whole bird, so it's not going to cost me two to three grand. I only need a little taste, I think probably to start off. How much do you reckon a, how much meat are you getting off a fully processed ostrich? They look big but it's probably mostly feathers right?

Yeah mostly feathers, a lot of hollow bones. So an ostrich weighs, oh my goodness, a hundred to 130 kilos. Jesus, really? They've got to have some meat on that, and those legs. That's what they saw the picture again. Ah! Ah! This is... Yeah. Yeah.

Over an ostriches fertile life, about 40 years, she has as many as 1, 600 chicks. They're all women, which translates toates to 64 tons of meat conservatively. I like the way you're speaking about them. Why are you giving me this total as a, as all of the progeny of a 40-year-old bird? Yeah. A fully grown ostrich yields about 80 pounds of retail cuts. So you're getting 40 kilos of... So it's about 75 bucks a kilo.

That's very fucking expensive. That's very expensive. But where else are you going to taste ostrich? Oh, fuck. I've just accidentally found a whole subgenre of YouTube food influences roasting a whole ostrich. That's gonna be like an AI generated please for the love of God tell me that's not real. Christ. This is what it's what it's looking like. Is that fucking the Turkish guy that's always grinning while he's cooking stuff? Maybe he's Turkish. It looks like a giant chicken or turkey I guess.

I'm having a bad time. I don't enjoy that. That's made me feel ill. It's so big. That bird is too big. It's really... Leave the hostage alive. It's conceptually very upsetting, isn't it?

Yeah, don't care for it. Andrew, have you ever watched, it's one of the early Popeye cartoons, it's Popeye versus Sindbad. Uh-huh, yeah, and there's a part where he gets Sinbad's giant bird and then puts it into a volcano and then pulls it out, and then eats it because it's a giant whole roasted bird. It looks exactly like that, and the scale is exactly the same.

And Popeye would be loving that because that's a lot of protein. Yeah, he loves eating meat. And Spinch. Spinch. He loves eating Spinch. He loves his spinch. He's a spinch guy. You know what, you know what Popeye sounds like, y'all got any cans of spinch? Yep, he's always saying that.

Some of the ostriches have been found by using a helicopter and drone footage. Others show up at the Lindbergh's front door. They enlist police resources for this. I think this guys are pretty wealthy ostriches I guess he's probably wealthy, yeah. I think he's got a lot of stuff at his disposal. Do you think it's possible that they're not really being very honest about this and like 79 of the ostriches that they found have just turned up and they found one with the use of like a helicopter and extensive drones? And they're like, oh yeah, mix of techniques. It's a their their their their their. Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, it's a mix of their, it's a mix of techniques, it's a mix of techniques, it's a mix of their, it's a mix of th. thin, it's a mix of th. th. thin, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. theean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, the. the. thi. thi. It takes a mix of techniques. This is worth it. Quote, I found one this morning and she was just up there walking around the house.

She was looking for somebody to come out and maybe give her some food or something, said Leiburg. Get away from there. You are free now. This guy's gonna fucking-run. He's gonna make you meat. He's gonna do a chicken run. he the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the' the. He's the' the' the' the' the' the' the' the' the' the' thu thu's thu's thu's the the the the the the the the the th the the the th. He's th. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. thea thea' to to thea'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a' thoooooooooooooooo' the the' the trade a Joe's, the weirdest trader Joe's in history. Do a chicken run, let's- Chicken run it. How are they kicking them all in there? Yeah, let's get like a wild camels in Australia situation going, but with ostriches in the states. Yeah, and they deserve it. You remember that, um, remember that town we talked about where it was basically completely taken over by turturturturturturturturturturturturturturturturturturturturturturturturturturturturtur- I???? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, that? Yeah, that? Yeah that? Yeah that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th the the th th th th th th th thi thi, tha tha tha-a tha-a' tha-a' tha-a'eat tha-a'eat tha-a'eat they're they're they're that that thi they that th we talked about where it was basically completely taken over by turkeys. Yes. Like super aggressive turkeys. I will never forget. Was it turkey vultures?

Turkey vultures? Sorry, turkey vultures. Even worse. Beyond this win, Linberg is still looking for the others. Quote, we'd like to be able to count the dead ones as to the today. I think the today's thea. toldldlue. told. thea. thea. thea. tha. thea. thauuu. thea. thea. thea. thau. thau. thau. thauillue. thae. thae. tuillue. Turkey. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. theaulch. theaulch. theaulch. theaulch. Turkey. the. Turkey. Turkey. Turkey. Turkey. Turkey. Turkey. Tirty. Turgthe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. tha. tha. tha. tha. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. tu. toke. toke. toke. toke. toke. toke. toke. toke. toke. toke. toke. toke. toke. toke. toke because there's still a big, it's still a big mystery to me as to what happened to 120 birds said Lindbergh. I think it was the flood. I think the flood took your ostriches away. Yeah. Probably. They're gonna stop turning up in town soon, surely. We'll get one wash ashore in like the Galapagos. Yeah, this one rocks up in Nova Scotia somehow. What the fuck? If you live near this guy, if you live near this guy and an ostrich turns up in your yard, shelter that ostrich.

Hide that ostrich. Protect that ostrich. That ostrich is your best friend now. Yeah, fall in love with that ostrich. That's long pink that ostrich. That's long pink legs. And Frank that ostrich in your... Don't, come on. You know? I want to know where the Bosk River goes and where this guy is. I want to know where this is ending up because the Basque River seems to run directly through the city of Waco. This might be the second craziest thing to ever happen to Waco. Yeah. Fires, floods, they get it all. Okay Superior Ostrich, let's really drill down on this. Enhance. Enhance. We're getting, we're deploying the full satellite

abilities of Google.com here. I don't know enough about the way rivers run in America to know whether this guy's upstream or downstream of Waco. I think he might be upstream. I think that if they keep going, they could end up going through Waco. Like literally through the middle of Waco. Let them go, you know? You heard it here first. Beforethrough the middle of Waco. Let him. Let them go, you know? You heard it here first before all the Airbnb's are booked out for the hotels

are filled to the brim with ostrich observers. Get your tickets. You could buy property like and set up an Airbnb in the ostrich epicenter of Texas. Oh, the famous ostrich Eppercenter. Yeah. Oh my god, it's the ostrich epicenter of Texas. Oh, I prefer it's an ostrich epicenter. Yeah. Oh my god, it's the ostrich capital of the world. It's the urban ostrich capital of the world.

Y'all wouldn't believe it. I stayed in this Airbnb and you could just open the kitchen window in the morning and the ostriches put their heads right in. You can feed them right there in the morning and the ostriches put their heads right in you can feed them right there and uh. Would that be pleasant? I don't want to be around an ostrich. I feel like they've got a negative aura. I think I could befriend one. I think they'd see my true spirit and sort of be like yeah. He's one of us. I can rock with this guy. Yeah. Come party with us. The ostrich. I don't I think they are probably not friends to us only kind of, you know, fellow kind of travelers in this world but not wanting to strike up a companionship with. You don't think they appreciate music? Oh, certainly not. Not at all.

Not at all. The art rock sensibilities of everything, everything, everything would be completely lost on an ostrich. How was everything, everything, John? Oh, I was fucking fantastic. Oh, that's nice. I think the ostriches are... Yeah, they're like to imagine dragons. Yeah, yeah, they're big dragon's. Yeah, I thinks it's a big speaker out there on the farm. Jeremy Renner record. They're listed too. Ostrog. They're big Renner heads. Oh.

You get a big speaker out there on the farm? Start playing the latest Jeremy Renner. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh. Yeah. I better get down there. I hear this one's about his daughter, but it's also kind of horny.

Let's go listen. He really does contain multitudes. If you find any lost ostriches in your area, Lindbergh is asking that you give him a call, you can reach him at, no, don't. Don't, don't try to call. Let's just, let's give people the correct approach here. If you find any lost ostriches in your area, Lindberg is asking you give him a call. Don't give him a call, but you could potentially steer him in the wrong direction by calling him at 214, 514394 and then say, hey, I saw all your ostriches

in the opposite direction of Waco. Go over there and look for them. So his phone number's just there. Yeah, and you could just call him up and say... You can call up the ostrich butcher himself. The number that we're ready to get out of the public episode. Give him a piece of your mind. He put in the newspaper. He put it in the newspaper. If he didn't want to be called,

call him up and say, heythey'll never find them and hang up. Just hang up out of anxiety. Your ostriches are here, man. They say they don't want to come home. Hey, I think I saw your ostriches running in the direction of Personville. This is just past Grosbeck, a little bit past Lave, a little bit past Mart. So I think if you get on the 164 and you just keep following that, you're probably going to find them. Looking at a map? Are you looking at a map right now? No, this is just from my memory of Texas.

Once you get to Buffalo though, you're going to want to get on I-45 South. Start heading towards Centerville. Hey, I-45 South. I bet some buses going there. Those are driven by bus-I-in bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the thi. the driven by bus drivers. It's time for bus driver watch. This comes to us from WVIT in Connecticut, the Viet. Avon Police investigating reported erratic behavior from school bus driver. Oh. You don't want that. No. This could take a series of turns. It could get real, real dark, couldn't it? Children's and parents of Avon Public Schools alerted police of what they say was erratic

behavior coming from their bus driver on Wednesday afternoon. Now, I hate to pull back the curtain. But I just got to point out to the listener that the article the article the article the article the article the article the article the article the article the article the article the article the article the curtain. But I just got to point out to the listener that the article says children and parents. Ben chose to say children's and parents. Oh. Putting the curtain back now. Thanks very much. Quote, there was no erratic driving or anything to indicate that, but they were concerned enough to call, said Lieutenant John Schmolberger of Avon Police. Come on! Just a Schmolberger from me, thinks about that hungry.

I am so full of just a Schmolmberger. That's what the hamburger is called in Sweden. Quote, some yelling, some loud outbursts, some hand waving, but nothing that was directed towards the kids. This guy's just sick of the rat race. He's just driving. This guy's just fucking driving. Hey, what the fucks the matter with you?

What are you doing? What the fucks a matter with you? He's acting like the rest of us should be every day and this crazy fucking world. Yes. Are you doing anti-Italian discrimination against this passionate bus driver? He's passionate about his job. He's driving the kids and he's trying to get them there as fast as possible. And safely as possible. So he's yelling at people when they don't indicate if they merge too soon, don't leave enough space. He is trying to get there as fast as possible like like like like like like like like Mario like like like like like Mario like their th as th as to th as th as th as th. th. to th. th. th. to th. th. th. to th. to th. to to th. to to th. to th. th. thi. thi. to to to to to thi. to to to to to thi. thi. thi. thi. their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to their. to to to to to to to to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. to to to te. tea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. to thea. thea. thi. to. to get there as fast as possible like Mario in the Mario Kart series.

His hero. Another famous Italian. Yes. Italian American. He is just articulating, he is firing blue shells. He is shouting, Wahhoo! You know? Yeah. But that's normal for them. It hasn't worked out how to get the sparks yet. That's culturally normal for those people. Yeah. Uh officials say they received a call from child on the bus and later parents just after 3 p.m. on Wednesday. Quote, the parents arrived at the next bus and had the kids come off the bus.

There were no issues getting the kids off the bus. All the kids were able to exit the bus safely, Lieutenant Schmolberger said. According to authorities, the driver followed protocol and drove the empty bus to the next stop, where police ultimately spoke with it. Quote, when people are concerned about somebody's driving, certainly impaired driving comes... When people are concerned about somebody's driving, certainly impaired driving comes to the forefront. There were no issues with that. There was no indication that bus driver was under the influence of any sort of narcotic or controlled substance or alcohol, Lieutenant Smallberger said. Sounds like a classic Nothing to report report report if you ask me. Yeah, it sounds like this guy's Italian. What's the crime? It's Italian American. It's getting too passionate about his job. Yeah.

There's just you know he's trying to enforce the road rules the only way he knows how, yelling and gesticulating, because that's how he was raised. And you're trying to stop him from doing that? If it comes out that there are more details from this and he was like yelling racial slurs or something, just pretend you never heard the segment. You can just forget about it. Just forget about it. You listen to so many podcasts, just drop it out of your brain. And also there's so much there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much there's so much their their their their their their tho. thi. their their their their tho tho tho thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. their th. their th. their their th. their their their their th. their th. th. their their th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. try try try try to try try try try tha try tha try try tha the. the. the. the. the. the. Why do you have to convince yourself of another bad thing? Yes. Just take this one, a beautiful story about an unfortunate Italian American driver. Yeah, a proud, unfortunate Italian American driver. Yeah. Just wanted the kids to get there safely. A letter sent from Avon Public Schools to parents outlined the incident. It says the district is working with police in the bus company, specialty transportation to ensure appropriate actions are taken. Quote, we're just really trying to figure out what's going on. What really happened?

Trying to get video. If anybody had video recorded on a cell phone, that's where we're at, Lieutenant Schmolberger. Police say, Police say the driver was fully cooperative and that's that that. If you were on that bus, what's the matter you? No snitches. Fuf'm Kulo. Paisano. What's that?

Okay, great. Oh, let's get all the kids off the bus because this man is second generation European. Okay, sure. I guess that's what we want now. I was just trying to get them home for afternoon tea. They need to manjay, you know? That's right. Eat. You do skin'y. Pregor.

NBC Connecticut contacted specialty transportation and Avon public schools, but they were not able to provide additional comment. Yeah, because he didn't do. What did he do? What did he do th do th do th do th What did he do? Called the cops. Oh, my bus driver is from New Jersey. Ooh, oh, making me scared. I'm hearing an Italian influenced New Jersey accident for the first time. I'm going to call up my mom and dad.

This guy doesn't sound like me. This guy doesn't sound like he's from Connecticut. So, um, let's get him fucking fired. Sick of this shit. Not just fired, but get the police onto him. Ruin his life. Yeah. Yeah. That's fucked up.

This world's so fucking crazy. The world is pretty crazy. And sometimes people tell us about how crazy it is by riding into us, by riding in to us with their phones on the BonteVista hotline. It's time for the Bultivista hotline. You can send us an email. Mail bag at Bolsavista.com. Maybe DM us on Twitter. You could even message Facebook. We don't really check the Facebook.

Yeah. That's the Bultivista hotline. [phone] that's the Bultivist a hotline. So it's sent into us by listener James in response to a discussion that we had about how dentist dispose of teeth. That was in episode 345. And we were kind of imagining sort of like a properly labeled bag, kind of sealed up, throwing in a, in the proper bin? Yeah, sort of like, I was always getting dumped under a house like old disposable razors. Yeah, that's right. Hello, Bunters Vista. After listening to the latest free episode, I thought you, I just thought you might

like some teeth go when dentists are done with them. I have to be pretty up front, however, I have never worked at a dentist practice or bio waste company before. I have, however, worked in the print and copy department of an office works. Sure. Same thing. This is so, this is beautiful writing. The forward sizzle there. It's so good. Incredible. As you might be aware, Office Works as a service where you can pay a 17-year-old to definitely not read all your private documents as they securely shred them. In my time in print and copy I shredded everything from legal documents to wedding

albums to one time a shoebox full of nude Polaroids. This is... The story we go. Insane. Yeah. Did you get to keep the shoebox or? When you like ritualistically burn them if you had some polaroids to dispose of, that burns so good. Why would you take them to shredder? You want someone to look at them

if you're taking them to office works. Or, or this is from the estate. Oh, true, might be from your estate. These are grandma's nudes. Yeah. And you don't want to do it. Yeah. Yeah. The secure shredder was a beast and could go through most paper clips slash staples, but we would kindly ask people to not leave any bulldog clips here as they dull the blades. Yeah, sure. Okay, so paper, stables. Yeah, paper clips. And that's it. That's all we're feeding this thing. Brutal though. That's a crazy shredder they can get through a paper clip. That's fucking terrifying. Yeah. Once, I was shredding a box of files from a dentist's office which shut down and I heard the telltale girk of a bulldog clip hitting the shredder.

One clip not being a huge problem, I kept shredding but soon heard the grind of another clip. Now, assuming that the customer had not checked their documents for clips, I started checking the sides of the stacks for them but found nothing. After the fifth or so, quote, clip that the shredder tore through, I started shaking the piles of documents to see if anything came loose. Attached is a photo of some of the human teeth that I had just spent 20 minutes grinding it to bone meal. Are you serious? They sent a picture. Yeah, we got two photos.

Uh, bro, were you grinding teeth onto grandma's shredded nudes? Thanks. Why were there teeth in there? You're so unpleasant. Oops, they's. Why would you need to file the teeth with the paperwork? Yeah, they're nasty, right. Those teeth do not the not the th not th not th not th not th not to not th not the the the theath do not belong in people. I see why they pulled them out.

Yeah, good cold taking them out. Yeah, just putting together a little paperwork, little document, please find tooth attached for reference. Yeah. Yeah, the tooth looks kind of like this. Oh, here it is. It's this tooth. So what are we doing here? Like, for a clear idea of the smell of the tooth, open the attached bag. That's fucking nasty. Yeah, I'm just filing it for reference? Hey, boss? Maybe? Um, so I'm shredding the documents just like normal. Getting rid of the bulldog clips like you tellips like you tell told me. And you're not going to believe what I found. Teeth.

Teeth. What do you do with these teeth now? You got some loose chompers in there? He does answer that here. Attached the photo, bone meal, piles of shredded nudes. I then had to call the customer and point out that we do not dispose of human remains, and they should come and collect the rest of their paper. Yeah, wise, wise, thue, thue, thue, thue, and thue, and thue, and thue, and thue, and thue, and thue, and thue, and thi thuice, and thi, and thi, and the, and the, and the, the, thee, the, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee thee thee their the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thee thee thee thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thee, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, theeauuiiiii.ean, thean, the rest of their paper. Yeah, wise, actually. Yeah, fair enough. They do a lot of things at office works. They are, probably not human remains. Yeah. Why are you keeping, why is anyone, sorry to any parents

out there that keep your children's teeth, but I find that it's a bizarre thing to do. Yeah. Yeah. Theo, Andrew, you keeping teeth? Me? No. No. Yeah. Well, well, kind of. Kind of. Okay. And fair enough. Well, so, so every now and then I'll realize that there's like a small pile of teeth that I've got to get rid of, right? Due to having children who lose their teeth. And so when, I hope, I hope neither of them are outside right now, when the tooth fairy comes, when the tooth fairy comes, which is me sneaking into my child's room at night and tactfully removing the tooth from under their pillow

and exchanging it with a massively inflated like two to four dollars or whatever. Jesus. And then because it's at this point it's like you know 1130 or whatever I'm doing this before I go to bed and then I just kind of bring it back into our room and I go I'll just show it here behind something. So you're just collecting teeth. Well and then at a certain point you get another tooth and you go to put it in in the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to the the to to the to to to the to to to the to the to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to too. I to too. I'll just too. I'll just too. I'll just show I'll just show I'll just show I'll just show I'll just show I'll just show I'll just show I'll just show I'll just show I'll just show I to just show I to show I I I I to show I I I I I I I I I I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the too. too. I'm just show. I'm just show. I'm just show. too. collected now. At a certain point, you get another tooth and you go to put it in the spot and you go, oh, there's a bunch of other teeth in here. I gotta do something about all these teeth. Could we come in a bone collector? Yeah, yeah, and you don't want that, the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to bea, to to to to bea, to to to to be a to be a the to be a bunch, the to be a bunch, to bea, to bea, to bea, to bea, to bea, their tiea, tooes, tiea, tiea, and theatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat, theat, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their tie's that movie. He didn't know that that's what he needed.

But then it happened to him. Kind of a, you know, just keeping them all in their head. For now, yeah. For now. You seen that photo? It's what a child's skull looks like with all the teeth locked and loaded, ready to go in there? And we're letting that happen. It's so upsetting. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that happen. It's so upsetting. That's fucked. It's really not good. That, I don't know what,

there's some sort of phobia in my brain that looks at those images and just gets unbelievably fucked up by it. It's not good. That's not all, teeth shouldn't work that way. We should make teeth on demand. Start proactively removing all of your children's teeth. Yeah, just in time teeth. Your body should spin up a tooth when you need it from the cloud. Yeah. Instead of just having a bunch of extra ones sitting there doing nothing. And they should happen when you're an adult as

well so you don't have to worry so much. Yeah, just make a new one tooth. Just pull it out. You spin up a new tooth. Kids, they shouldn't have to worry about their teeth. They should be worrying about college sports. It's time for college sports watch. Sorry, I got so invested in doing the segue that I forgot to finish the last part of the article. He says, hugs and kisses, James. Thank you, James. Thank you for that horrifying story. It's genuinely interesting.

You got through the threshold. Doesn't happen often. This is from W-I-N-K in Florida. Wink! That's right. Scorless Eagle, up for a ward at NIL Summit. Think about name, image and likeness deals in college sports for a second. I happen to damn it. Okay. I've just got an empty room in my by-byte. Yeah, you've opened the door. Huh, there's nothing here in here. I guess I'll come back later.

I can't do anything in this room right now. But they're not a bunch of tarps on the floor and not much else. All right, so name image and likeness deals are what college sport athletes do to make money because they're not allowed to get paid. Yeah, because of the national college athletics whatever rule that they've had for like 120 years. Not to be too pithy about this, but this is a deeply stupid country. Oh yeah, America? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's dumb as fuck. Yeah, really weird. Why are you watching like uni students play sports? What's wrong with you?

College sports in general, very strange, but also they don't get paid money for it. Yeah, and you're not allowed to be paid money for it, except you're allowed to be paid money for selling the rights to your name, image, and likeness. And they have to pretend that they're doing book work the whole time? Yeah, because they've got to be there on a college. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. their. Yeah. They've got their. They've got their. to be their. to be their. their their to be their their their to be their their to be their their their their their their their they're their they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're.. they're. they're. they're. they're. their. their. to be to be their. to be to to be paid. to to their. th. the. the. their. their the. their their their the. their their they're not their. they're not. they're not have to be doing your like degree or whatever yeah to be at the college so yeah you can't only do college by sports sports man yeah yeah you got a really fucking weird system over there yeah imagine like going to watch like some people from USQ Q Q to play football USQ Q Qu quitage oh that's that's definitely a UQ Quittage lead. Oh, 100%.

I know that much for sure. Those fucking nerds. It's fine that, like, it's fine that the college students don't get paid because nobody makes any money from college football. Yeah, it's not like a multi-million dollar industry. It's not like they have new, like billion dollar stadiums that they can put like 80,000 people in to watch teenagers play sports. That's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Think about name image and like this deals in college sports for a second. Is there something in the room now, Theo? Open the door? That Is child screaming in the room now?

Names like Shadur Sanders, Caitlin Clark, or Brunny James probably come to mind. Yeah. Absolutely. They do now that you said them. Caitlin Clark is. Never heard the other ones. Brony James is LeBron James's son, who is, I think one of the most touted NBA future prospects or whatever. Oh that makes sense on account of being LeBron son. And who's Lebron James? FGCU basketball player Brandon Dwyer probably did not. That is true

they got me. It's you got me. Wasn't thinking about Brandon Dwyer at all. Quote I guess I've paved the way for notthey got me there. As you got me. I wasn't thinking about Brandon Dwyer at all. Quote, I guess I've paved the way for not being successful on the court and still being able to be successful in the name, image, and likeness aspect of college athletics, Dwyer said. Dwyer is one of the big-time performers in NIL, despite having never scored a single point in his entire eagle career. Oh, that wasn't a name. He's just a scoreless eagle. He is a scoreless eagle.

Yeah. That's right. It makes more sense. Here lies Brandon Dwyer, he never scored. Yes, correct. He is an eagle with zero swag. Dwyer's Mr. Zero, Brad, propelled him to social media fame, earning him several NIL deals like Sunny D for example. That's great. I love this. Mr. No Points? Yeah. Getting

endorsements for being Mr. Fucking Loser. That's great. That's genius though. Just to capitalize on and push yourself online is like, I suck at this. Yeah. His teammates hate him. Yeah, surely this creates like a perverse incentive for him to never fucking score ever. Yeah, because if he scores now it's done, it's over. Mr. One point doesn't have the same ring. Mr. scored exactly once. It's not too bad. If I'd like, yeah, not great. Mr. scores twice. You're not getting anything from Sunny D. No, boring. No one's coming knocking.

Now he's up for the Innovator of the Year award at the NIL Summit. Quote, I'm very honored and humbled by the nomination. I just make relatableable basketball videos, you know? I go to the gym, I have fun with my buddies, and we just film some funny content. And I've been able to get recognized for that that that that that th you th you th you th you th you th you th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi that that that that that that that that that thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. Now th. Now th. Now th. Now th. Now th. Now th. Now th. Now th. Now th. Now th. Now th. Now th. Now th. Now th. Now th. Now th. Now th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi thi thi the the the theanan thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean thean been able to get recognized for that. His teammates hate him like for sure. Your teamates fucking hate you dude. I hate this guy. Oh you didn't score again. Why don't you make a really big deal about that on the internet? Thanks for your help.

Everybody else in your team who's working so fucking hard. Everybody else in your team again? Oh, you're skipping practice? Oh, to record another one of your little videos. Yeah. Make it Tick-Tox. Lunch is a rude, isn't it, pal? Sounds like most content creators out there, but what makes Dwyer an innovator is really his ability

to make an impact online without making one on the court. You fucking suck, dude! Fuck you! I haven't scored any points on the court ever either. Yeah. That would be awesome if we have one of us. to make an impact. Quote, that'd be awesome if we have one person at the podcast, it was Mr. No laughs. Mr. Zero hits. And if you think that's th suck, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, you, thu, thu, thu, thu, that, thu, thu, you thu, you thu, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, you suck, thu, thu' suck, thu- thu- thu- thu- thu- thu- thu- thu- thu-I suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu. thu. thu. thu' suck thu' suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck at the podcast, it was Mr No laughs. Mr. Zero hits.

And if you think that's one of us, just keep that to yourself. Never, tell us that. Never nominate who you think is Mr. No, chuckles. Quote, I get to represent the school on social media and in the classroom and on the court and during games. It's just been really cool to see the fan interactions where people come to home games or away games just get a picture with me afterwards. Well make fun of me while I'm on the bench. I'm actually laughing.

Yeah, they're laughing at you brother. Everyone the court is pointing and laughing. Oh, do you they're going to score to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their their to their to to their to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tho.o.oe.oe.ooomea.oomea.oomorrow.oomorrow.oome.oomorrow.e.oomorrow thea.ooooooomorrow the. I their their their the court is pointing and laughing. Oh, do you reckon they're going to take you off the bench today? And if they do, you're not going to score any points? That's really funny, dude. It's funny. It can't feel good to be on the team, but also be treated like the shitty mascot of the team? You're just a gesture at this point, right? What if your mascot was the Fguuuuu? the Fgu? the Fgu. What if the Fgu? the Fgu? the fg. What if the fg. What if the fg. the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. thu? thu? thu. thu. thu? It is thu. thu. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thu. It's thu. It's thu. It's thu. It's thu. It's is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It is th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. It's thi. It's funny. It's funny. It's thi. It's funny. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's, please welcome to the court. The loser! He sucks, doesn't he, everybody? Boo here! He comes out like Charlie Brown, shoulder slumped, dragging his feet. Look at his posture. The posture of a true loser, this guy sucks, ladies and gentlemen, pelt him with popcorn. We're gonna put him in the stocks afterwards. Everyone's gonna line up and spank his little bottom. He sucks. Dwyer has graduated with his bachelor's degree this weekend,

but he has two years of eligibility left, and he'll be back. Eligible for what, continuing to be a fucking loser? I don't think you're playing in the NBA man. Why do they want him on the team? Yeah, you definitely, what happens then? When you're two years is up? Yeah, you're not getting picked for another league. I guess he's getting his bag now.

He's getting his bag now. Then he's gonna be an agile coach. Yeah, that's right. And you're gonna brand yourself as Mr. coaching. Hey, I just want everyone to understand that we're all important members of the team, even the ones who don't put up any points. Yeah, yep, like business analysts. Quote, I love the game. Love getting better, love the gride, and I've kind of put that love of the grid in social media as well. Kill yourself. Sorry. That just came out. You're not getting better though are you? Johnny no points? Doesn't sound like it. You're not getting better.

Fuck. Shooters got to shoot so we might finally see him hit one soon and who knows it could go viral. So he's actually still playing and trying to... so this guy actually legitimately sucks. He's he's deliberately whiffing all these throws for sure. I mean my heart goes out to you. I also am horrendous at sports, but I didn't get any like sponsorship or like appreciation for my family or like at some point to get into the college basketball team, right? Yeah. Yeah, but at what point though does this turn into like, you know, at some stage he's suddenly going to put up like 20 points and a half and cash the hugest bet on himself of all time? Oh yeah. Yeah, you're probably better on this guy.

You are allowed to bet on yourself to lose. Yeah. That sounds made up, but maybe. But what if you're really bad. You're right. That does sound sound tho tho tho tho tho sound tho sound tho sound tho sound th. tho th. th. th. th. tho tho tho th. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to, to to to to to to to to to tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad? You're right, that does sound made up now that I said it out loud, but wasn't there someone in an American sporting league just made like a ton of money on themselves like a couple of weeks ago, right? Oh, because they... Oh, it's really been turning into a massive scandal now that they've introduced Australian- Sports Bet apps and that's it.

It's bad. Yeah, I don't think Americans are prepared for the sports bed app to be like mentally and emotionally spiritually. No, it will permanently fuck you up and it will stay a part of life forever. They don't even have bank transfers. You got to ease them in. Why did you, why did you move to this instead of like modernizing everything else? Yeah, you skipped the middle bit and just went straight to the rot. I wish they'd stayed with the sports betting where you had to like call up like a bookie in Vegas.

Because it feels dirty. Yeah, that feels fun. The time I bet in America was actually in Vegas. It was back when you could only like do it there, which seems like the correct way of doing things. Just sort of have like a crazy zone in Nevada where anything goes. We should also have a zone like that for Benny. The ACT. You should not be able to put it all on shredder from an app. No.

You want to go and see his teeth snarlin. You should have to go to the warehouse, put it all on shredder. I've never had the sports sports the sports the sports the sports the sports the sports the sports the sports the sports the sports the sports the sports the sports the sports the sports the sports the sports the sport the sport the sport the sport the sport the sport their that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I that's. I. I that's. I. I. I that's that's. I. I. I that's that's that's. I that's that's that's that's that's that's that's to that's to that's that's that's that's that. I. I's th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm theateathea. I'm. I'm to. I'm to. I'm that's to that's that's that's that's that's ther. I've never had the the sports autism like like some people do where They're they're super super yeah Where they're they're like stats. Yeah, yeah like I'm sure you are about the hockey Lucy or that kind of thing my money-balling hockey Lucy actually don't bet on hockey. I only bet on basketball My brother-in-law who is who is Elna's younger brother. He's got sportism he does we got a stop. It's sportism. Well his his name is Jack and for many years we have referred to it as Jacksburgers so. Oh, we don't say that one anymore. Ben getting distressed here. Cut this out. It's this out Mar- It's a good. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the their their their their their their their brother. My their brother. My their their brother. My their brother. My their their their their their their their. My their. My their. My their. My their. My their. My their. My. My. My their. My. My their. My the their. I the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. My th. My th. My brother is. My brother is. My brother is. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. So... Oh, we don't say that one anymore.

Ben getting distressed. Cut this out, Mark. He paid him sense. But yeah, like he's, he followed like the AFL extremely closely for years and a lot of stuff, and it's also been extremely into the NBA for years and years and years. And I've talked to him about this over the last, you know, several years where he was saying, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. thi, it's, to to to to to. to. to. to, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th to th th th th th th th to him about this over the last, you know, several years where he was saying it's crazy how extremely dramatically it has changed in a short period of time to, he was like, all the group chats and stuff that I used to be in with people where we like talk about the NBA or talk about the AFL or whatever. He was like all of these dudes only talk about it thrown the lens of betting now. the the the the the the the th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the is is is is is is is is, the is, the is, the the their, the the the the their the toe theyyyy is toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaa is their their their thea is the the AFL or whatever. He was like all of these dudes only talk about it through the lens of betting now.

Yeah, SportsBet does those ads about like, they've got like a group chat feature on SportsBet. Sick. Society. Yeah, he was just saying like all these other dudes his age, all these other like 30 year old guys who basically have completely lost the ability to look at it as like a game or a sport everything is just props and odds and what you're betting on this weekend nothing's like do you enjoy watching the game of the sport and the answer is no fucking what of them do

well that ends up sportsman that and he's just like every guy that I hang out with now that's that's that's around my own age that's thin th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th The answer is no. What game? What game? That ends. That ends just like every guy that I hang out with now that's around my own age, if we hang out the whole time they are just like casually looking at and doing bets on their fine. Yeah, they should get the, uh, it should get a San Remo jellyfish. Yes. We're way about it. It's got living life again. It doesn't work work the scroll the scroll the scroll the scroll the scroll the scroll the your sports bet on there. It's got living life again.

It doesn't work on it. The scroll bar hides the bet button. The button's too small to register my feverish taps to place a bet. Not good, that's my opinion. For some reason, I went unnoticed with my tiny phone for like the first couple of weeks and then I had a absolute heater of a run every single place that I would go to. The cashier would be like, oh, that's a really tiny phone. Like, yeah, that's a small phone I've got, isn't it?

Ever I went to staff and say, hey, what the fuck is that? Now you're having conversations with people, meet people, making friends. We're having a laugh. That's beautiful. Yeah, consider getting a tiny phone. That was almost certainly an episode of the podcast. Buntivista. Possible.

And Happy Mother's Day. A Happy Mother's Day. Yeah, to all the mothers out there. Especially the Supermothers. Yes. Mostly. Yeah. Um, the live show. It's still in the future, unless you're listening to this after it's happened and then

it's in the past. That's on you. That's on you. Yeah, you missed out. Maybe the only live show we're going to do for a pretty long time. You probably started an episode three or whatever, unless it's all the way through. That's a really silly thing to do. I do that. It's fucked up. Start now go backwards. Yes, yeah. I reckon the good episodes, the ones that are about, yeah, I'll be generous. I'll say two years behind where you are now. So if you're listening to this in 2016,

no, 2026, this will soon no longer be a good episode as well. So get in quick! The live show will be at Newstead Brewing Coe in Milton, Brisbane, Queensland. It's going to be this. It's like the thing that you're listening to right now, but a little bit longer and live. The chemistry is going to be fucking amazing. If we can podcast while smelling each other's pheromones, that shit is going to be crazy. I'm going to be magic too, nervous. Theo is going to be sweating quite a lot. We're going to give him some beta block. to be to be to be to be to be sweating to be sweating to be sweating to be sweating to be sweating to be to be sweating to be sweating to be sweating to be sweating to be sweating to be sweating to be sweating to be sweating to be sweating to be sweating to be sweating to be sweating quite to be sweating quite to be sweating quite the the b tho-s tho-s, tho-s, thoomkiing quite thoing quite thoing quite thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. thi-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s the chemistry the chemistry their their their their their their their their their thi-s. theasing theasing thea-s. thea-shauuuu-shau-shau-fo-fo-shau-fucking th-fo-fucking th- it all. Otherwise we might have to get him to do his bit from a box on the stage.

Oh, could you? Could you give me like one of those Perspex drummer's boxes? What if we could do it so that it's like you can see, everyone can see into the box but you can't see out of the box? Do like a two-way mirror situation. But what if the artist to be has has has has has has has has has has has has has to be on has to be on has to be on has to be on has to be on is to be on to be on to be on to be on the to be on the the the to be on the the to be on as the to be on as to be on to be on to be on the to be on to be on. to be on to be on to be on. to be on. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the th. the the th. th. the the th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. the th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the thooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. thoo. the. th. th Theo has to be on the inside just looking at himself the whole time? You know? True. That can't be good. That's a one-way mirror. I'm thinking of those those pods that they put in offices for you to take a call in, you know? Yes. It's one of those little guys. Yes. But it's a screen and it's got your faces on it. Like I'm doing the podcast like normal. Yeah. So for for the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. It's tho. tho. It's tho. It's tho. It's tho. It's tho. It's tho. It's tho. It's tho. It's tho. It's tho. It's tho. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's tho. It's tho. I's thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I's th. podcast like normal. Yeah so for the rest of us it'll be a really

intimate in person affair and then for Theo it'll be in the box. You'll be in the box. You'll be Saturday. You can get those tickets, Pointe Vista.com slash live. We will see you next week and maybe sooner if you subscribe to the patron. That'd be nice. And until then we will be feverishly continuing Theo's crate training. That's right. We're going to get him so ready. Put up in the box. Bye.

Bye. Bye. And the envelope, I don't overdose. I can smoke a o and steal coke With no, the blow. I ain't writing on my East Coast, nigger with a thing for. Round skin mama with a crate of pulse. Let the camera roll, love the carpet roll, when I touch the stove. Cook down so we tip toe down. Come around to with it that drip-trip zip knees getting straight for that shine so I let them do their job and let them let them take it down take it down so I let them do their job and let them take it down so so I let them do their job and let them let them take take take take take take them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them them their it their it their it their it their it their it down their it down their it their it their it down their it down their it down their it their it their it their it their it their it them them them them them them them them them them them them them their it their it their it their it their it their it their it their it their it their it their it their it their their their their their tak it tak it tak it tak it tak it tak it tak it down tak it down tak it down tak it down tak it down tak it down tak it down tak it down tak it down tak it down tak it down their their job and let them, let them, take it, take it down. Take it down.

Take it down. So I let them do their job and let them, let them, let them take it down. Take it down. So I let them do their job and let them take it down. So I let them do their job and let them take it down. Our mother's crying, children dying, eyes lying, I'm normal for a bloody face down. Don't make a fucking sound. All I believe it from a dream.