Boonta Vista - EPISODE 362: I Guess I'll Go Die

Episode Date: September 10, 2024

Lucy, Theo and Andrew bring you: lateral thinking and technological innovation punished by Big Music, a case of mistaken organ identity, a trip down East Idaho memory lane, and all the egg that's fit to news. Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista Email the show at [e-mail]! Call in and leave us a question or a message on 1800-317-515 to be answered on the show!

Hello, welcome to Buntavista, episode 362. So you can just switch it on like that. Welcome to tonight's finale of Who Wants to Catch That Greasy Malat? Jesus. I'm your completely rehabilitated host, Ivan Malat. And as always, this show sees me and our contestants dumped into the Blango State Forest, but don't worry. Things are a little different to when I used to approach backpackers on the Hume Highway

and then murder them in this here forest. No, our contestants have one goal. Be the first to catch me. Ivan Millat. It's just one twist. I am completely nude and covered from head to toe in bacon grease. Will they take murderous old me down? Will I give them the slip? Lucy is looking like she's got a microhead. With us. With us as he's being through the whole series is our first finalist Andrew. Andrew, do you think what you have what it takes to catch Ivan Millat?

Oh, I did at the start of the show, but I've had my hands on him a couple of times and just like trying to grab a big, big warm bar of soap in the bathtub, he gets away from me every time. Nothing prepares you for how much oil I have on my body. Squip, you just gets out of your hands. And like what's really dispiriting is the way he cackles and laughs as he disappears back into the forest. Yeah. Ah, look, I'm having fun with it.

You can tell that this is a bit of a passion project for me actually. It's actually kind of what I tho tho tho tho th th th th th th thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus thus so so thus so thus so thus so thus so thus so thus thus so thus so thus thus so thus so thus so thus so thus so thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi thi to thi to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi what I was what I wanted the whole time. Oh yeah. A series of misunderstandings. She's got it wrong. And also with us is our second finalist, Lucy. Lucy, I'm about as slippery as mass murderer as you'll ever find. Do you have any secret technique you might be able to share with the viewers for getting a grip on old Ivan? Secret technique for getting a grip on, it's pig, pig, pig, pig, to, the the the the the the the the the the to, the the to, pig, pig, pig, to, the the the to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, the the tho, their their their thoom, tho- tho- th under their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, their, th, th, th, th, th, th under, th under, thi, thi, thi, toge, toge, toge, thin, thee, thi, thi, thi, their thi, to share with the viewers for getting a grip on old Ivan? Secret technique for getting a grip on pig, pig oil, slippery Ivan Millat. It's your murderer Ivan Millat. Look, I don't. I can't get a hand on you.

This is a problem, you know? Just slipping away like one of those fucked up like the toys that look like a fleshlight that kids have you know my mom got in trouble for giving me one of them yeah this is me Theo probably not me Ivan Malat not I'm not Ivan Malat imagine that that might be a sliding door moment his mom she must have been fucking awful one of those slippery things well well there you have it the contestants the contestants are ready I'm ready let's get to the the to to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeat theeeeeeat theeeee. theeee. the the the the the the th of those slippery things. Ah, well, there you have it. The contestants are ready. I'm ready.

Let's get to it. Ehh. Feehill music playing loudly. Come back. Now that's the greased up Ivan Millad intro. Put that one in your spreadsheets. Update the wiki. I'll get him one day.

It's part of my long-term plan to catch greased up Ivan Malat is to just kind of let him roam free but come back in winter, at which point, you know, the temperature drop really gets his heart rate down, slows down a lot, spends a bit more of his time looking for food than he does, people to not get caught by. And at a certain point, you know, you're out there, nude greased up in the forest, you just want to be held. And that's when I get you greased up in the forest. And that's when I get you greased diving going somewhere with that. I thought this was a segue. Just talking about being greased up in the forest. He was going somewhere.

Hey me? Well Ivan, well that's going somewhere now. Couldn't get my goddamn hands on them. I thought I had a chance to win this competition, but it turns out I've been scammed. That's right folks. It's time for scam watch. I was a scam. Warning, warning. Someone has successfully or unsuccessfully attempted a scan and must be judged. This is... SAM watch.

I was tickled by this story I saw the other day in the AP. North Carolina musician arrested, accused of artificial intelligence-assisted fraud caper. Uh-oh. Now, which one is it? Yeah. Is it fraud or is it just a little caper? I could kind of close by eyes and extrapolate this story. But is the end outcome that he was the only only person, like the only independent musician to make money from streaming? Yes. That would be very funny. Okay. See, look, I just wanted to see money from streaming? Yes, that would be very funny. Okay, see, look, I just wanted to see how we're defining a caper, you know? Can a crime be a caper?

Well, absolutely. Well, I think a crime can be part of a caper. A caper might be made up of a crime. Yeah, okay, multiple crimes, sure. So, so the definition that I've got here for a KAPA is an illegal or improper activity that is usually seen as amusing or not very serious. Right, like it's silly. Yeah. Now I would argue that the people who caught him decided it was in fact serious.

Yeah. A North Carolina musician was arrested and charged Wednesday with using artificial intelligence to create hundreds of thousands of songs that he streamed billions of times to collect over $10 million in royalty payments, authorities in New York said. What's the crime? Yeah, you rubbed Spotify? Yeah, maybe when you grant it? Oh, did Spotify...

Did Spotify not want the songs to get listened to? This is like what happens when, you know, like a small-time mobster robs a big-time mobster, like when they're transporting money from place to place, or like a big vat of moonshine or something. Yeah, robbing a poker game that's populated by Wise Guys. You're not meant to be up here. No, this is, you were not invited to this table. Michael Smith, 52 of Cornelius, North Carolina was arrested on fraud and conspiracy charges that carry a potential penalty of up to 60 years

in prison. Fuck off. That's so stupid. That's, yeah. I mean, first of all, victimless crime. Yeah, like you made the system. Yeah. You made it that way. I'm also just shocked that he actually earned that much money from like billions of streams. Yeah.

Yeah. From what I've heard about how much money you make from your songs on Spotify. Yeah, that right. Well, and that's why if you want to make money, you've got to think outside the box. Exactly. Absolutely got to use modern technology for modern problems. Modern technology and lateral thinking if you would like to get paid by streaming services. U.S. Attorney Damian William said in a news release that Smith's fraud cheated musicians and songwriters between 2017 and this year of royalty money that is available for them to claim.

What do you mean? You're stealing it right out of... There's a finite pool? Now that's the funny scam part of this article. So he's diluting the pool for the rest of the, for the rest of the artist is their, is their claim instead of them actually, you know, paying musicians. Well instead of, hey, you took Spotify's money. Yes.

It's actually, uh, Spotify has one of those little, um, take a penny, leave a penny jars out for the musicians. Yeah. It's like take a take a tenth of a penny leave a tenth of a penny. Leave leave a billion streams take a penny. Yeah god. He said Smith a musician with a small catalog of music that he owned stream songs created with the artificial intelligence billions of times quote to steal royalties. Sounds like he earned them to me, but- Sounds like a heat blank sounds like he made some music, earned money off it.

Yep. And made music by robots for robots for robots. Yeah. Exactly. Robots listen to it? Yes. A little beep. He presumably had some kind of robots set up for streaming the songs too. Like he can't listen to a billions of times.

No. He probably doesn't want to listen to it. It's probably not very good. Yeah, there's like 10,000 co-pilot whatever's. Chat GPT's there, not in their heads gone. Oh shit. Oh, this kind of wits. Oh no, I'm becoming sentient, you know. Yeah. Oh no, I'm loving and understanding art.

I feel bitter. Uh, a lawyer for Smith did not immediately return an email seeking comment. Now, let me just say, no one on God's Green Earth is immediately returning an email. That's not how that works. That's a very funny phrase. What would you do like you gave him five minutes? Like, fuck it, press send. Pick up the phone. You know? What happened to this generation? No one wants to work anymore, you know? Sending the email and then just sitting back in your chair with your arms folded and like an increasingly annoyed expression on your face. Yeah.

Can't believe he's not immediately returning. Christy M. Curtis, who leads New York's FBI office. Come on, you don't get the FBI for defrauding Spotify? It should be a sport at this point. Yeah. He said, Smith, quote, utilized automatic features to repeatedly stream the music to generate unlawful royalties. The FBI remains dedicated to plucking out those who manipulate advanced technology to

receive illicit profits and infringe on the genuine artistic talent of others. You heard it here from the FBI folks, AI, not art. Not, yeah. Also, we all sat down a little bit earlier and worked out who is going to make money from this streaming business and who isn't, all right? So let's get that clear. We all work out. It's not the musicians.

It's, it's, it's. It's, it's. It's Taylor Swift and this guy, the bald fuck whip from Spotify. Those are the two people that are allowed to make th thethis point, right? And you're not it. I'm sorry, we had the meeting. You don't... You got to show up for these things. You're not to buy this. Yeah, it's also really funny to like, this is like the shoplifting. It's like when you shoplift, you're making the products threat. It's like, when you're making the at all how it works. You're making it free for one person. Making it free for me.

This guy just made some free money for him. Yeah, here's the thing. They have way more money than you. You have very little money. Why not get some? Do you get a little? For you. A little slice of the pie.

An indictment in Manhattan Federal Court said that Smith created thousands of accounts on streaming platforms so that he could stream songs continuously generating about 661,000 streams per day. It said the avalanche of streams yielded annual royalties of $1.2 million. Getting that bank. Annual royalty. So how long did he do it for? Here is the paragraph with the single most crucial word

in this article. The royalties were drawn from a pool of royalties that streaming platforms are required to set aside for artists who stream sound recordings that embody musical compositions the indictment set. Oh it does work that way. So they're not just paying stuff out, they have been legally compelled to put aside a small portion of their profits so they can say, no, we are, we are giving them some money. No, we are.

Because we know without that, they wouldn't be, they wouldn't be doing that. They'd be signing everybody up to sick deals where you can get, you know, 40,000 streams a week and nothing. Does this just mean a song, stream sound recordings that embody musical compositions? I think so that like are they just meaning a song? A song so you can't just like upload. The same thing.

Silence or something right? But like, do they, it needs to be an ephemeral definition of a song. Yeah, they're a bunch of lawyers sitting down and like deciding whether the fucking eight minutes of field recordings in the middle of Francis the mute are available, like whether that's eligible for royalties? Like, just not like white noise and stuff like that, I guess. Well, that's a good question because I streamed probably more white noise the year that Finn was born than anything else that year on sport. Yeah that's like my that's like my top track it's like 737

cabin sound. Yeah. These um and so they can't get royalties from those? I think people have got to be getting paid off those because they have to be right because if you search for like you know ambient music the the the th th the th th th the th th th th th music th music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music th th th th th th th. th. th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin thin. th. th. thin. the thin. th. thin. thin th. thin. thin. thin. th. thin. th. thin paid off those because... They have to be, right? Because if you search for like, you know, ambient music or like soundscape type thing on Spotify, the amount of stuff that there is. The absolute avalanche of stuff that is all like Mandala spiritual recordings with an AI-generated cover. Of somebody's sitting cross-legged. Like there's just there is just so much of that stuff and I don't I don't see the incentive for people to churn it out and put it on there. No, they're not getting paid. Other than people just going,

oh yeah, I'll take that one. Or coming up in a playlist, you know. Yeah, my favorite aspect of those songs that are put on to get my children to sleep are like 35 minutes in where it goes, if you enjoy this audio recording, you'll love our podcast. That's great. Just being shouted at just after you've started to nod off. It's fantastic. Are the disintegration tapes valid for royalties? Maybe.

Is William Baczynski getting paid? I hope so. I know Trent Resnall is getting paid off his tracks that are just kind of ambient electronic buzzing and somebody screaming in the distance, you know? According to the indictment, Smith used artificial intelligence to create tens of thousands of songs so that his fake streams would not alert streaming platforms and music distribution companies that are fraud was underway. It is said that Smith, beginning in 2018, teamed up with the chief executive of an artificial

intelligence music company and a music promoter to create the songs. Put some good stuff out create the songs. Put some good stuff out in the world, folks. Do you reckon there is any good? I would love to hear them. Yeah, how bad can they be? Michael Smith. Easy to find.

So he's probably made a bunch of like fake artists. Yes. To like distribute his tracks. Yeah. Yeah, this is actually really smart. Like I'm sure this guy's a huge piece of shit, but I'm kind of impressed. Yeah, we should let him keep some of it, I think. Scammy scam, yeah. Sounds like a Spotify problem to me. I think this guy's doing good on the Stanley rubric.

Yeah, Stanley rubric. Yeah, Stanley Kubrick. The scamly rubric. Scamly rubric. Scamly rubric. He is, he is because. The first perfect score. No, but he did, uh, execution, fails on execution. He got caught. But all this is, these are a while ago. Like, he didn't get caught for a while.

Yeah, he was getting, he was getting annual returns for years. So I guess, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. He's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thea. the. the. the. the returns for years. So I guess yeah the only way in which we would mark him down on the scamly rubric is Perfect victim. Yep. Very bold. He's he's pioneering new ways of doing a scam. He didn't just like hire some Amazon web services time to just like stream his own songs right? Like he put in the work. He engaged other services. He took on you know a multi-billion dollar streaming giant instead of like an old lady in his apartment complex. It's not his fault it comes from a pool because that's an insane way to pay artists, you know? It's ridiculous. Otherwise they might get paid too much. Yeah. So I guess the only thing thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi their thi the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thooooooooooooo. the. thi. thi. th ridiculous. Otherwise they might get paid too much. Yeah. So I guess the only thing you could have done different is maybe got like three or four years

worth of, you know, a million bucks a year and then just taken it and shut all the accounts. Yeah, and flee. And just, yeah, move to the other side of the country. Fleet is freedom, flea to bel the th th, th, th, th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm th, I, I'm th, I'm that, I'm that, I that, the the the the the the th, that, the the th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, I th, I th, I th, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm the the the the the the the that, I'm that, I'm the the that, I'm the the the the the the that, the the the that, the the to the other side of the country. Fleet is freedom, flea bellies. So it's like a, I'm feeling like a 10106 on the scamly rubric. I mean, look, I think the executions, the execution's pretty good because it took them literally like, you know, five or six years. Like five years or something. Yeah.

To catch him, you know? Pretty good. He's the jam burglar, you know? You know, guys? You know, guys? Yeah, no. Like when a song is like, when you jamming out to a song?

Yeah, you're not really stealing songs. He's giving songs to the world. He's giving songs. Yeah. Like he still created some some songs with the AI. Yeah. I bet they fucking suck Smith boasted in an email last February that he had generated over four billion streams and 12 million dollars in royalties since 2019 authority said well don't brag about it. Don't send out an email where you describe the crime and exactly how much you profit it from it. They love it when you display the opposite of contrition. Yeah. When you say, actually, it's good that I did this. Even though we could all agree that it is. Yeah. The indictment said that when a music distribution company in 2018 suggested that he might be engaged in fraud, he protested, writing, quote, this is absolutely wrong and crazy. You know how crazy you sound.

There is absolutely no fraud going on whatsoever. I'm always saying this about the fraud I'm doing. Yeah. Do you know how crazy you sound right now? I'm sitting in front of my 2,000 computers. Yeah, yelling down the phone. What? Hey! No! A lot of people back down at the first, the first obstacle they go, no, this is too hard. It's a classic mistake. You've got to double down. of people back down at the first, the first obstacle they go, no, this is too hard. It's a classic mistake. You got to, you've got to double down. Double down. Don't back down. Always double down. On the phone of my power company about why I'm using more electricity than like the surrounding

six suburbs combined. I'm not sure. Do you take streaming royalties as payment? Uh, look, sometimes you almost pull off the perfect scam, you know? Sometimes you put in a lot of effort, you invest years, you make some songs that probably sound fucking cool and I want to hear them, you know? And it all seems like it's going great and then suddenly, the FBI is telling you that you might be spending 60 years in prison. You thoult you thou-you tho' tho you you you you th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' that that that tho' tho-s tho-s thu, thu, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi'-s, to''-s, to''-s, to''''e. tooo'e. toooooooooooooo'-s, to'e. to'-s, then suddenly the FBI is telling you that you might be spending 60 years in prison. You thought you were perfect, but you weren't. Because Po Buddy's Nerfict. It's time for Poe Buddy's Nerfict.

Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick. Pobody's Nerfict. No, no, no, pole body's perfect. No, whoopsy, daisy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Poe body's perfect. No, oh, bo-body is nerfied. And that includes our doctors, our surgeons, quite often our surgeons, quite often our surgeons, you know?

This is from Cocoa News in Oklahoma City. It's wild how often it's our surgeons. It's wild, how often it's surgeons. Man dies after surgeon removed wrong organ at Florida Hospital, lawyer says. Hey, sometimes you're in at work and you got a lot of your mind, you know? Yeah, it's a busy work. You guys ever just, like, you know, you're walking around your house, you're looking for something, you just just, you know? Yeah, it's a busy work. Probably overworked. You guys ever just, like, you know, you're walking around your house, you're looking for something, you just walk into

the whole wrong room entirely. Yeah, and then you don't even know what you're getting. You don't even know what you're doing. How often are you switching off? Yeah, just kind of the thrown out a little bit. The lawyer of a woman, the lawyer. The lawyer, the lawyer, the lawyer, the lawyer, the lawyer, the lawyer, the lawyer, the lawyer, the lawyer, the lawyer, the the the the the the the lawyer, the the the the the the lawyer, the the the the the the the the the the the th, you're just, you just, the the th. Yeah, you just the th, you just th. Yeah, you just the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, you just, you just, you just, you just, you're just, th. thro, you're just just thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, you just, you just th. You're just th. organ. Well, was it like right next to the right organ? Exactly, like what class were they? They look the same. Couple was visiting their rental property in Okalusa County when William Bryan, 70 began experiencing left-sided flank pain. So are we talking the property that they are renting? Probably they're renting out.

Sounds like landlords to live in? Probably they're renting, no landlords. Sounds like landlords to be. You know? Uh-oh. Couldn't have taken out his heart because he didn't have one. Yeah, get him. Oh, seriously that we... A manifestation of my sin. Oh, condolences to his widow. Yeah. They went to Ascension, Sacred Heart, Emerald Coast Hospital where doctors were to remove his spleen. Okay, so far so good. So far so good. Spleen somewhere it's like behind the heart or something maybe. We all know what it does. Yeah we all know what it does. Going to the Ascension Hospital makes it like you're going to the Ascension Hospital and you're not expecting to ascend? Yeah. You're dipping into the ascension chamber? Yeah. I'll see you soon. Yeah, I'll see you back on this mortal coil. Instead, the lawyer says, Brian's liver was

removed. Ah, now you need that one. I think you need that one. I don't think you can... Not really a like disposable one, like a kidney, you know? Yeah. Like his whole, his whole liver? Now liver's a big old thing. It's a big one. They can take like some of it off, right? Yeah. You can like, you can lose some of your liver. I don't know how close they are.

You can shave some of it off like a lizard or whatever. During this operation, Dr. Shacknsky removed Mr. Brian's liver and in so doing, transacted the major vasculature supplying the liver, causing immediate and catastrophic blood loss resulting in death. A news release from the lawyer reads, bleh. The surgeon proceeded with labelling the removed liver specimen as a spleen. And it wasn't... It's weirdest, weirdest sweet I've ever seenthe sharpie on the jar and like spleen. I don't know what all that fucking blood's about either. Geez, I'm this guy bleeding.

They're like, honestly, the spleen is so much smaller than the liver. Isn't the spleen like quite small? Got a little, I got a little diagram for you in the chat there. There's. The spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen is spleen is spleen is spleen is spleen is spleen is spleen is spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, I spleen, I's spleen, I spleen, I don't, I don't spleen, I don't spleen, I don't spleen, I don't, I spleen, I spleen, I spleen, I spleen, I spleen, spleen, spleen, sp- the sp- the sp- the sp- the sp- the sp- the sp- the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, the spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleen, spleenthe spleen like small? Isn't it a big spleen you've ever seen? I've got a little diagram for you in the chat there. There's the spleen, the spleen is like maybe less than a quarter of the size of the liver. Oh my goodness. You know? The liver is so much bigger than I've, that I thought it was. Oh, and then the spleen's just over there like a little kidney bean, don't mind me, you know.

Hiding behind the liver you might say. Yep. Using the liver as a human shield you might. You might. You might say if you were a certain surgeon. Well it's always in the last place you look. Yeah. Cuts out the liver, oh.

What does that look like to you guys? Well I just I I I I I I I I I I I I just. I just. I just. I just. I just just. I just. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the spi. the spi. th. th. th. th. th. th. the sped. th. th. th. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the the the sp. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. t. t. t. t.e. t.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e. t.e. t. t. taking the spleen out, he says, and he looks back in the hole. Fuck. Huh. Oh, fuck. We've all been there, you know? Wasn't until following the death that it was identified that the organ removed was actually Mr. Bryan's liver as opposed to the spleen. No one in the room was like, uh, well you don't want want to to to to the the the the the the the the the the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the spiole. the sp. the sp. the sp. the sp. the spi. the spi. the spi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the thea. the the the theaughe. Spe. Spill. the to the spleen. No one in the room was like, uh-huh. Well, you don't want to argue with the surgeon, do you?

Like, what if it's your first day in the operating room? I think the doctor's taking out the wrong organ, but it's like you can't fucking say that to the doctor, can you? He's letting his teage daughter pick which organs to take out out out out out Beverly Bryan, that the spleen was so diseased that it was four times bigger than usual and had migrated to the other side of the husband's body. Oh, bro! Did you just forget about it? You just forgot about it? You're like, oh, this thing's so big it looks like a liver. Wow. Your spleen is so infected that it's like connected up to other parts of the body and it's it's throbbing rhythmically in the

middle of his chest. Let's get it out of there. Dude, oh yeah it is more than four times bigger isn't it? It is by the look of it. Migrated around that. I don't think I don't think the spleen just cruises around your body like that. I don't think I don't know if organs can migrate like that I could be wrong. Here comes your spleen maybe. I don't think that getting sick would make your kidneys go oh I'm I need some time up by the shoulder. Yeah. And he's contracted so so diseased it needs a seaside holiday. It's moving to warmer climbs.

Oh, dude. Sorry to this man, but... Very much. Oh, goodness. The family was informed that Mr. Brian's spleen, the root of his original symptom profile, upon presentation to the hospital was still in his body and appeared with a small cyst on its surface, the news release says. Perfectly unmolested.

That's clean. Perfectly untouched. Man's wife is seeking criminal and civil proceedings and said, my husband died while helpless on the operating table by Dr. Shacknovsky. I don't want anyone else to die due to his incompetence at a hospital that should have known or knew he had previously made drastic life altering surgical mistakes. Okay. I was going to say, all right, maybe this is his first time and he knows now. He's not going to forget the difference between a liver and a spleen. I guess so. It's like if you don't want to have a doctor remove your wrong organ, like this is probably the guy. He's made the mistake before.

He's going to be like extra careful. And go which ones still have their liver in their body and the one that, I don't know. It's not about whether or not you take out the wrong organ and kill somebody. It's about whether you learn from it. Yeah. You know? We'll make mistakes at work. It's important to, yeah. Why do we fall down? The doctor's named the incident, Dr. Thomas Shacknovsky, General Surgeon and Dr. Christopher Bacani, Chief Medical Officer. Yep. Yep. You guys are busted.

You don't really want to get called into that meeting of work. You know, once you're done having that conversation with this man's widow and then you turn around to see your boss's head poking out out of an office. Hey, you got a minute? Yeah. So you know when you said it was four times the size of a usual spleen, you're like, oh. So the nerds from the lab have called. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I know. But they might have a point this time. They say. You don't want to get called into a meeting with your boss and he's got like the big illustration of a human body with the organs on it but like tape long stick tape over the labels yeah all right now let's start he's got the big plastic the plastic skeleton hmm you know what the spleen might look like oh I don't know but I reckon in my in my mind's eye which is which has infantasia by the way, so you know, who knows. It might look like a big egg. That's right, it's time for big egg.

What's big and small at the same time? Big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, bitch, egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, big egg, the egg round up. What are we got in egg news this week? Two residents made a bizarre discovery while cooking at their home in Yunnan, China in late July. A woman cracked open a large and strangely shaped egg, expecting to find a triple yolk inside.

But the pair were stunned when they discovered a second egg hidden inside the first, almost as if they were unnesting a set of matrushka dolls. I don't like that. I don't like that. That seems unholy. Really? I think disease and famine are coming their their to to their their their their their their their their their, their, their, tha, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoom-a, tooom. tooom. tooom.. tooom.. I, tooom. I, tooom. I, tooom. I, tooom. I, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, their, their, th............................................................................................................ like disease and famine are coming to your family. Mmm. Because there's, because of the two eggs. Yeah, an egg inside another egg.

But I think that's not off God. Yeah. Do you, do you think it's a good omen, Theo? I mean it's, it seems to be extra white if you need like carbohydrates and stuff. Yeah, because it's kind of the egg, an you know like a double yoker or a triple yoker. No, where it's like oh I thought I had one egg but I'm actually getting a lot more of the good stuff from the egg. Yeah, no, you're not. You get more of garbage unfortunately and more shell too. Yeah, you thought you had an egg but you've kind of most of an egg and a small, like some of an egg and a smaller egg? Mm-hmm. Hmm. A really exciting, quote-unquote, discovery of endangered coastal emu eggs as

wowed conservation as some forestry workers. The nest was discovered during a recent routine habitat inspection ahead of forestry harvesting in the Clarence Valley on the New South Wales North Coast. Coastal emuels and an endangered species with fewer than 50 estimated to remain in the New South Wales North Coast. Coastal emuils an endangered species with fewer than 50 estimated to remain in the wild. Apparently they've got predators. I don't... What's a coastal emie? Does he look like cool? Is he kind of like the surfy guy? Yeah. Yeah, he's selling hemp, sax. Yeah, it's got a puka shell necklace. Yeah. Markets. Did they say what the eggs tasted like? I bet they taste great. I just he just kind of looks like a regular

you maybe that's really disappointing. I can't I don't know that I have like any evidence for this so much as it's just a feeling but I kind of think that the bigger the egg is I think the less pleasant it would taste. Yeah. I don't ostrich eggs apparently good. Maybe. But also, it's too flinstonesy for me, I think. Yes. Yeah, to keep it simple. Yeah. They need to be like our domesticated, specifically evolved birds.

Thank you. Duck eggs, fine. Quail eggs, a little too small. You've got to do a lot of the thom thoe thoe the thoe the thoe thoe thoe the thoe the thoe thoe thoe thoe the thoe thoe thoe thoe thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, thoes, th. It th. It's, th. It's, th. It th. It th. It's, th. It the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea. I thea Yeah. You gotta do a lot of them to make up for like a normal egg. You know, picking shell out your teeth forever. Aye, ay, ay, ay. And finally, two brands of eggs are being pulled from store shelves in Wisconsin, Illinois and Michigan after Selminella warning. In an announcement published on Friday, the FDA said eggs from the brands, Milo's Peltry Farms and Tony's Fresh Market. Hey, come on down to

Tony's Fresh Market for eggs, which are distributed by Milo's Poultrie Farms, LLC were being recalled across three states because they were possibly contaminated with Salmonella. The recall comes amid a cellmonella outbreak in the Midwest, according to the CDC, 65 people from nine states, including the three where the eggs were sold, have been sickened by the same strain of cellmonella with 42 of those who have become ill from Wisconsin and 11 coming from Illinois. That's all the egg that's fit to news. So did you think you wanted to have a song first so you found some egg news?

Yes. The song came first so you had to find some egg news to fit the song? Oh, cool. It's a real segment or the egg scenario. Yeah. Can I just say Americans love having Salmonella. Do we just not hear about it here? Like do we just not take it very seriously or do we just not get it as much? I don't know. I guess so. See I got I got really confused at some

point because I looked up like the stats around the rates at which people in the US get salmonella versus here and it seems like Australia Australians get salmonella at a higher like rate per capita kind of thing I just don't hear about that I never hearing about salmonella outbreaks especially not hearing about it in context like in reference to eggs I assume it's I assume it's mainly like from people like cross-contaminating themselves in their kitchen would be Americans are really worried about raw eggs yeah I mean I think I think it's mainly like from people like cross-contaminating themselves in their kitchen. Americans are really worried about raw eggs. I mean, I think it's because Adam Law has been telling people you can eat chicken that's a little bit pink.

Okay. I don't want to, but... Yeah, we've got to stop this man. He's a danger to a health and person, yeah. Now... It's always on the TV when I switch it on. I think my TV is always on the TV. He's coming to get you. Now if someone were to aggressively stop Adam Law from making his TV shows. He's a lawyer, so we don't want to. I said if, I said if. They might end up on a police blotter.

Lucy, what's a time for? That's blotter watch. All righty, this is where we read out things from the police record in the Greeley Police Department. All righty, this is where we read out things from the police record in the Greeley Police Department. Some callers, August 20, 145 a.m. Caller at a hotel in the 5600 block of 10th Street, stupid. Again, insane way to name your streets. Just call it like Steve Street. You know, get serious.

42 Steve Street. Yep. Reported a man on the do not rent list came in. He tried to rent a room without ID because he knew he wasn't allowed. And when turned away, he said, OK, I'll just go die. Perfect response. Yes.

Perfect response. I'll just go. Yeah. Guess I need houses to live. Hmm. 12.15 p.m. A caller in the 400 block of 42nd Avenue reported his daughter was walking to school and passed a decapitated rabbit on the sidewalk.

Okay. Not pleasant. She just found it that way. Yeah. She just saw it that way. My blood-smeared daughter reported seeing it. Yeah. A lot of people calling the cops this week about animals, animal situations. Yeah. I mean, yeah, we've, they're so cop-pilled. They are so cop-pilled. 3 p.m. Caller in the 1900 block of 18th Avenue reported an unhealthy looking dog walked through her

backyard. I got that every day. Okay, well, this time the cops might actually do something about it. Lucy calling the cops, yeah, he's back. He's back, he's back in the yard. It looks so sick guys disgusting. Police were unable to find the dog but He looks so sick. I was disgusting. Police were unable to find the dog, but believe it was likely a fox with mange. Just what you're saying, Theo,

like I was watching the first Dirty Harry movie, right? Which is from like 1978, I think. Yeah. And it's set in San Francisco and has the, it is San Francisco, yeah. And like it's sort of charming how it's like we need to get these scum off the streets. We need to clean up these streets. Yeah. I need the right to execute any long hairs that I see on the street who may or may not be committing a crime.

My gun is so big and they don't even let me fire it. That's right, these damn lawyers want me to not violate all their rights. But there's a... and in San Francisco, you know. Yeah. So there's a scene in this movie where Dirty Harry stabs the Scorpio killer in the the the the the the the thki ki thki ki thiler in thiler in thilor in thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the thi thi the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the toe toe theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the the the the the a scene in this movie where Dirty Harry stabs the Scorpio killer in the leg with a knife and he says, Oh, my leg! And he hobbles off into the night. They're in the middle of like trading money for a hostage or whatever. And Dirty Harry ends up interviewing like the park doctor. There's just like a first aid like full sort of little building in this large public park and there's a doctor who works there 24 hours a day and if somebody comes in and says I've I've got hurt in the park or out

in public he's just fixing them up and I was like this seems like a thing that's that's weird to think of existing in America at some point. Yeah. They don't have like public toilets now. Yeah, because what if they help a homeless person? They don't have services, they have police you call the dog, you think you saw. You see a dog, call the cops. Call the cops. Fox with mange, call the cops. Shoot the dog. Yeah. You see a dog. Call the cops for. You see a dog. Call the cops. Fox with Manch, call the cops. Call the cops. August 22nd, 830 a.m.

Caller in the 1100th block of a hundred and fourth avenue reported an injured pigeon in front of her house. Come and shoot it. The pigeon, you called the cops. The pigeon didn't have any visible trauma, but every time it tried to fly, it would just face plant. Oh no. Just calling the cops. It's like you see a pigeon falling over, and you called the police. What town did you find, Lucy? This is... Every animal is like... The Greeley Police Department, which is...

I can't remember what state this is in. Colorado. They've got a disease called like the Vector or something. Yeah, something's gone on here. If this passes to humans, we'll all be face planting. Greeley, Colorado is under the dome, you know. Yeah, something weird's going on here. 9.30 a.m. Caller at 9th Avenue and 8th Street

reported a man with a steak knife okay the man was using the knife to scrape a pair of swayed boots and the caller said people were uncomfortable just out on the street with steak knife scrape scraping your sway boots just scraping myping my boots. Just scraping my boots. Oh man can't scrape his boots on the street anymore in this town? Got to the point where mankind even scrape his own boots with a steak knife. I kind of, I want a little more information about that part to be honest. I'm like, was he scraping dog shit off the bottom of his boot? Was he like picking stuff out of, out of the tread in the soul of his shoe?

Was he just scraping like lines? Scraping the sides to... Into the swayed upper? For you swayed in the swathe, I don't know. This is like a French satirist's idea of an American town. What? It really is. 9.45 a.m. A.m. A caller reported. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A.. A. A.. A. A. A... A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. A. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. A. S. A. S. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. 9.45 a.m. A caller reported his truck broke down in front of a house in the 1100th block of 30th Street Road. He said he was working on getting it moved but kept getting the police called on him. God Almighty.

I see a truck. A stop truck. That fucking truck stopped. I don't know if... People just keep calling the cops. I don't know if I've if I've like talked about this in recent memory on the show but I feel like I keep seeing all these American social media posts where they're talking about parking on the street that they live in, like on on the street, not on the footpath, not on someone's driveway, that they're just

like, yeah, we- On street parking. Yep, and we, you know, I had some people around for dinner, some people came to visit me, one of them like parked on the street out the front of my neighbor's house, and when they came back out, there was a note from my neighbor saying, Do not park here. We got this. My, um, we used to live myself and a couple of friends of mine in a cul-de-sac and, you know, so, uh, the garage was taken by my friends broken down Nissan S-13, so, that's...

High priority, storage. Well, it's not moving. And... Nissan S13, so that's high priority storage. Well, it's not moving, anyway. And wouldn't make sense to put it, like the other cars behind that car. No, certainly not. You'd be like, hey, can you move your car? You're like, yeah, yeah, in like six, nine months time. And then, you know, my car was in the driveway.

And then my friend's car, because again, this is a cold a a a a a a a cold is a cold, the cold is a cold, the cold, the cold, the cold, the cold, the the thrarara, thra, thra, th. the driveway and then my friend's car because again this is a cul-de-sac so the amount of street frontage that we had was about the driveway right because it's sort of like a wedge-shaped property so my friend would park the next little bay over and he got the same thing got it like I think the next door neighbors were operating a child care or something like that and because there's always cars coming and going and a note on the window saying do not park here. And I was like, you got to fuck it. Oh what?

You've got to win this argument so bad. And he's like, ah, actually I might just park somewhere else because I'm not going to get in a fight. You should get in a fight. You should get in the fight. You should get in the fight. It's more fun that way. Look here's the Brisbane City Council. I found it. Here it is like not interested. Some people just want a quiet life. It seems from what I've observed on social media to

be like a more common America brain thing of you own the street directly outside your house. Yeah, it's like part of your property. But I've seen people talking about like, yeah, parking, a friend parking out the front of a neighbor's house and then saying, move your car in case I want to park there, and they're like, this person has a driveway and they don't park their car in it? Yeah. Like, just this bizarre. Close your eyes and imagine the place I was going to move my car to. Now imagine you parking your car in that spot.

And the world will be right again. The car parks are fungible. They are. They are. It's just I can't imagine. I can't imagine being like I own all of the street around my house and if you park there, I will encounter you. There is some sort the the place.. I the place, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, some, I the place, I the place, I the place, I the place, I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the place to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place, the place the place the place the place the place the place the place the place the place the place the place I the place I the place the place the place the place the place the place the place I the place I the place the place I the place I to to to to to the street around my house and if you park there, I will encounter you. There is certainly some sort of like ownership of frontage and stuff in America that doesn't necessarily always extend to Australia, right? Where, like they often really don't like footpath, because they're not going to walk on them, right? So in like, hey, don't build a footpath out my frontage, I don't need it. Right? As like, like, like, like, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th.a, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the like, hey, don't build a footpath out of my frontage, I don't need it. Right. As like, well, okay, well, imagine that footpath is actually, it starts somewhere else and

goes somewhere else. I imagine. Not for you. Not driving a car. Imagine not driving a car. Imagine getting around a different way. Yeah. Maybe you could drive and catch one of Brisbane's fantastic new metro buses. Yep. Yep. That beautiful new underground metro bus.

August 23rd, 630 a.m. Caller at 6th Avenue reported a squirrel on the sidewalk next to a speed limit sign. The caller was worried it had rabies and there were a lot of dogs in the area. Any indication or was it just visibly a squirrel? Maybe just a squirrel? Quick show up and shoot the other dogs so that they can't catch rabies. Blam! Blam! It's like them doing the, the fucking, the gun training scene at the start of the induction of men in black. Finally my time to shine. Come out. Blam, blam, blam. Duperman, blam. Squirrel, sickly looking dog, man in a parked car.

Bang, bang, bang. 3.45 p.m. Caller in the thousand block of 3rd Street reported someone's pet turtle showed up at her house. She wasn't sure where it came from or what to do with it. Lucy you are taking the piss. I'm not taking the piss. This is all from like a three-day period. This cannot be. Do you have someone else you could call? Like neighborhood watch Do you have a Facebook group? Like Greeley, community notice board, maybe. There are just no other services.

Tick Tock glitch, call 911, and then as soon as it connects, start saying, please, please, please, please. They will connect you to somebody super fast. God, that's... But it is, like, it's a nation where,, 70% of other services have just been taken by the police now, right? I guess so, yeah. So, like, no, they got defunded, remember?

Oh yeah, that's right. We shouldn't have defunded them. Now who's going to come and shoot that squirrel? that turtle and have the, uh, aiming finess to get it to get it to get it to get it the th th their th th th th in th in their their their the their the thine their're gonna shoot that turtle and have the, have the aiming finesse to get it in one of their wet holes. Yeah, I think. It oughta bounce what off the shell. None. Take it hurt. It does, it does genuinely, I don't know why I'm so stuck on it, but

doesn't it just reflect like a deep, deep paranoia that this guy is just like, look, my truck broke down and I need to report it to the police. Yeah, hey, just getting in here. Just getting in here. There's a truck on my street that shouldn't be on my street. Police intervene. Yeah, just getting ahead of this one, my truck is broken down, don't shoot me. If someone asks you to come and shoot me. Please don't.

Thank you. Please don't. I looked out of my window and I saw someone off my property that I don't know, please send the police. Like this is fear of the other taken to just an absurd degree. Yeah. Incredible new heights. There's a squirrel, th thank thank th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thank thank thank thank thank thate thate. Thank thate. Thank thate. Thank thate. Thank thate. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank that. Thank thatn't thatn't thath. Thank than. Thank than. Thank than. Thank than. Thank than. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. Thank th. T T T T T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. the. the. the. theateateate. theateateate. theate. theateate. Thank you theate. Thank you the. Thank the. Thank the. absurd degree. Yeah. To incredible new heights.

There's a squirrel with a patch of fur missing. Please come merkit with your big gun. Get it away from me. Yeah. I dreamt that like my house got raided by like people. I don't think they were police, but they were certainly part of some sort of service. And they had H&K, UMP 45s, but they were shooting like 50 cow bullets, and to me this was very important to the store. That's important to the plot, like. Yeah, well it certainly changes things.

I guess so. Yeah. Now some services have disappeared. some services have decayed over time. People left offend for themselves. However, some services only grow stronger. Some services only become more and more enveloping of their community, delivering sweet, sweet, tangible benefits to the people who reside there. I am, of course, talking about the Homestead Assisted Living Facility in time for Homestead Assisted Living Watch. We hadn't checked in in a while.

And it was like, there was some really good ones, so I picked the best. I know we got listeners in East Idaho right now who have been desperate to find out what's going on with the homestead assisted living facility, which is... And who would know about the good work that they do if they didn't first write about it in the newspaper and then we read it out for people in largely in Australia. If they if they weren't busy paying a copywriter to write the most complementary depictions. Let's be honest now it's chat GPT. Oh no! This is from the East Idaho News.

Seniors get a chance to experience a custom-made zip line. You're getting just like out-of-the-box zip lines? I feel like most of them have to be custom made, right? Like, yeah, because if you're not... Hey, you got a patch of ground that's exactly 116 meters long. Sort of a little inflexible. I don't know if you can put the seniors on the regular zip line, so. Are they giving them the euthanasia zip line?

Zipping them down to a big meat grinder. They soil and greening them at the end of the line. You guys ever seen the, the guy that invented the euthanasia coaster? Oh yeah. It's such a good read, like it's so much more than you'd expect. The coaster that basically goes up in a real high like a regular, regular coaster, but then just subjects the, you know, after the drop, you get a loop and then a tider loop, and then tider, tider, ti tie to the tie, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the, th, th, the, th, the, th, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th... the, th. tie. the, tie, the, they. they. they. It's, they. It's, they. It's, the they. It's, the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, then a tidaloo, and then a tider, tie to tie, tied, you know, until you're dead kind of thing. And that... It doesn't sound like a pleasant way to die, doesn't it? I think it is.

I feel like it probably feels nasty. No, I want to go out doing what I love. Anyway, they do that? In a bold move that defies stereotypes about senior the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the stereotypes about senior living. Everything you thought you knew about senior living, forget it. Out the window. Out the window. The homestead senior living, a local retirement community, recently treated its residents to an exhilarating ziplining adventure.

The challenges preconceived notions about aging. I think we've said that three times now. You guys got notions about aging or senior living? Yeah. Sometimes it happens on a beach. Yeah. It makes you old. Yeah I haven't thought the other day the beach that makes you cuck old. I don't know what to do with that one. So now it's here. You go there and there's just a chair. Just a beach chair. This one's for you.

With onlookers cheering the participants along. Blake Jenkins would push the residents from one end of the dining room to the other in a wheelchair at top running speed while they hung onto the zip line handle and at the end they would crash into a tower of toilet paper rolls. We have read this story before? Have we? Have we? Have I just not here? Oh no?

It's very possible? Had we? This is really coming back to me. Oh no, I'm worried to be. Oh no, oh no. Oh no. Turns out we did. Anyway, from East Idaho news, seniors treat the community to a smooth, refreshing lemonade. Do you want to drink some lemonade that's been juiced by the oldest hands you've ever seen?

Yeah, like I don't want to be ageist here. I just... Oh, go on. No, that's a little treat for yourself. I'm being mean. I'd let my grandma make me some lemonade. I don't know about someone else's grandma. Absolutely. They'll probably put salt in it and someone else's grandma. This is the, oh yeah. It's probably their secret. Idaho style.

Sprinkle of salt. East Idaho lemonade. What would Johnny Knoxville's bad gnafie? What would Johnny Knoxville's a thi. Bad grandpa put in your lemonade folks, huh? Freaking cocaine. Probably horse come. Yeah. Just come. At the homestead, senior living community spirit and engagement took center stage with a free lemonade stand open to residents in the community.

I love it when it. I love it when engagement takes center stage. Yeah. What's that look like? What do you mean by that? Just words. The lemonade stand manned by enthusiastic residents, each with a gun behind them. Smile. Smile. Manned and sometimes woman.

Yes. Offered a variety of flavors. Well, we've got lemonade. Can you list them? Like, what other flavors are there? Just a variety. Just a few. It's not only your business.

I'm actually really like getting the vibe that they've stopped spending as much time writing these stories. Like, this one's got chat GPT. Vibs, you know? Yeah. So detail. That's more time everyone's got chat GPT. Vibs, you know? Yeah. So detail. That's more time to cook up schemes.

Starting to put East Idaho News' press releases about the homestead senior living into like the plagiarism detection software. As residents took turns, holding signs and flagging down people passing by on Main Street in Rexburg, they began a little competition to see who could bring in the most customers. Get that bikini on. Again, doesn't tell you who won. Nope. Or who any of these people are. I want to know who the best senior is. Who's got the most Riz?

Yeah. They, um, yeah, they do a lot of quotes from the seniors. They talk about how much fun they had. They never name any of them. You would think that. Because they're not really people to them, they're just content. They're fungible. They're fungible. They're fungible.

And every time you say fungible, I know what it means. Yep. I'm gonna keep saying it. It's a heartwarming sight to see everyone mingling and sharing stories over a glass of lemonade, creating an atmosphere of joy and camaraderie. Is it? Is it? Is it? Is it? You're making them do an activity for children? Just old ladies jumping out into traffic like in Happy Gilmore. You gotta get me out here! They're gonna sell lemonade for money.

Drink my lemonade! I don't, I don't wanna. Don't jump out in front of my car and demand that I drink your lemonade. Yeah. Yeah, also charge money for it. Back yourself. You know? You know? Otherwise, how good can the lemonade really be? Yeah, free lemonade. That's not the kind of lemonade I'm after. Hmm. Is it freshly squeezed? Is it like packets of coolade type shit?

You know? Is it organic? Did you just buy it? Did you hand squeeze it or not? Probably not. You're an assisted living. They don't have produce over there, right? Yeah. Not anymore. No, they're done with that. I don't have any. Oh, I'm getting the feeling. Like that is an episode of the podcast put to this time. Yeah, I think it was. I think it ran really smoothly. No hitches. Absolutely nothing wrong. It came out as smoothly as a as a thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. thi. thi. thi. thi. smoothly. No hitches. Absolutely nothing wrong. It came out as smoothly as a spleen, you know? Yeah. Right out of that. Po body's perfect. I got a new chainsaw that I got to go and play with. What could go wrong? You know? It's a very small to. It's like a little chowed chainsaw.

It's good. It's perfect for me. Oh, a little chod? Yeah, it makes me feel much less likely to injure myself. Got like a little baby chainsaw? Yeah, little chainsaw for babies. And I'm going out to Yum Cha. Oh! With the chainsaw or unrelated? Depends if they don't have what I want, I go out to the car and I come back with the chain or... You know? Z-Z. Where's the things I want?

I can't even think of any of the things that I want right now. I've been eating good. Went out for a nice dinner last night. So I'm not currently thinking about food. must be nice. It is. Well, thanks for listening everybody. We respect you all. Yeah. Yeah. That sound right? Yeah, we respect you. And Ben will be back. He is coming back. He did not abandon us. No. Next week? Is it that so? That'd be nice. We all miss him, don't miss him? We'll miss him. Terribly. But he's in Mexico. He says he has not been kidnapped. their thin. thi. thi. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thi. the. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. We all miss him. Terribly. But he's in Mexico. He says he has not been kidnapped or stabbed. No, he's in, he's in Texas. Oh, he's in Texas. He was in Texas. He was in Texas. He was in Texas. He's in Lubbock, Texas.

He's in Lubbock, Texas. Beautiful Lubbock, Texas from the chicks song, Lubbock or leave it. Yeah. You know? You guys. You th. You th. You th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho tho tho thi. thi. thi's in tho tho tho tho tho tho tho he's in Mexico. He's in Mexico. He's in Mexico. He's in Mexico. He's in Mexico. He's in he. He's in he. He's in he. He's in he. He's in he. He's in he. He's in he. He's in he. He's in th. He's in th. He's in th. He's in th. He's in th. He's in thi. He's in thi. thi. thi. thi. theea' thea' thi' thea' thea' thea' thi' thi. thi. hea' hea' or Leave It. You know, yeah. You guys ever listen to that one? No. No, no big chicks heads? Not a chicks head. Not a country and western guy. Oh, Lucy is. It's just got to be real new.

Yeah. Gotta have a trap bead on it and be about a truck, right? Yeah, I don't think the chicks are singing about trucks or drinking beer, so it's probably not really up my alley. Anyway, yeah, they got a fun song about murdering your your friends' abusive boyfriend. That is fun. It is fun. All right. See everybody. Bye-bye.