Boonta Vista - EPISODE 64: Sexual Healing
Episode Date: September 10, 2018Please come along as Andrew, Theo and Ben take you through this week's court case involving a weird sexual predator spiritual healing tennis coach and Joe Hildebrand’s latest idiocy. Support the s...how and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista Merchandise now available: boontavista.com/merchandise _____________________________ Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista iTunes: tinyurl.com/y8d5aenm Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/s?fid=144888&refid=stpr Pocket Casts: pca.st/SPZB RSS: tinyurl.com/kq84ddb
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi, I'm Joe Hildebrand.
Loo! Welcome to Bontavista, I'm Andrew and we are inching ever closer to episode 69.
I don't know what we're going to do on that special day. We're going to figure something out.
Isn't that right? Ben. We're going to figure something out. Isn't that right? Ben.
We're going to watch swap.
We're going something out. Isn't that right? Ben. We're gonna wife swap. Uh, only two members of the podcast are married, and we will leave it up to them.
It's gonna be expensive to send them from like the eave end of the country.
Half the shipping on a wife is murder.
Wait, I can't quite remember the show, wife swap.
No, so the...
So Kate would be essentially raising the girls.
Yep, should be raising my children.
Me.
That's right.
Yes, she would just be like cooking for you and just wanting to go out and drink wine.
And not be encumbered by children.
The idea is kind of that the households and the wives are diametrically opposed.
Hmm. I don't know if that's the case in this one. I don't know if there's like a real narrative
there of like one of them's going into the other household and like losing their mind
because it's so different. It's like this lady's a need freak and this family's hoarders. Yeah it's just like hey this is pretty normal. Yeah. There are always
things that like this seem like I should be portraying them as bad they're always like
this family's poor and this other family is normal.
Yep, and by the end of it someone always learns like that it's nice to have a family that
aren't pricks. That's like the big learning. Yeah, but then they learn that and then they go back
to their fucking prick family. They're just miserable. Yeah, come back and go, oh, right. Oh, my kids are dip shits.
All 19 of my children just fucking suck and I thought it was normal.
Yep.
And at the end of the day, you just want to get those kids out of the house.
As though you were performing.
And into the military.
Some kind of...
Hey, I was trying to do a segue there, Theo. Yeah, I know. That would be clever. It's trying to be clever.
Too bad.
Now we're going to wheel it around, change them into something else.
Getting the kids out of the house and into...
Well, no, I wasn't going to put them into anything.
I was going to say, as though you. That's speaking of exorcising. Yeah, thanks.
Thanks a whole bunch.
There was a little article that caught my mind this week.
Caught my mind, Jesus Christ.
Welcome to Buda Vista.
We're off the rails.
It's fine, I didn't need an intro either.
We're off the rails.
Well Ben said Theo's wife at some point and I thought that people were just kind of intimate from that. Oh, I'm defied by my wife, am I?
Yeah.
Why'd you marry her if you're not?
I mean, literally, in all urges, I don't think you could argue that Kate didn't transform
you from being a hideous basement creature into the wonderful person you were today.
Oh, that's absolutely true. Yeah you are kind of different. I mean I she literally forced me to buy a bed ensemble so.
Why didn't you just make your own? I feel like that's what a normal person would do.
Yeah I got to say like I'm I get like I get annoyed about that shit because not bed ensembles, about people.
About people who try to like paint their married life as this whole like, I'm still independent
and I'm my own person and I'm not defined by this marriage and all the sort of shit.
And it's just like, cool, but you don't have to get married.
Like we don't live in a world anymore where it's like ooh, you're not getting that big promotion unless
I can come over and have dinner at your house with your wife like we're in a fucking sitcom from the 80s
Like we just don't really live in that world anymore. It's always very strange to me
You know, you know, you know what I'm talking about guys sure and speaking of that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, tho thi, thi, thi's thi, tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho, tho, tho, tho, th th th th th th th th th th th th, th, th, th th, th, th, th th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's thi's thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, you know what I'm talking about that? Sure. And speaking of exorcisms. Yeah. My point about marriage being though, I think it's very
strange to ask somebody... He will stick way at his own time. No, no, no, I'm sticking
with this now. I think it's very strange to ask somebody to partner up with you for
the rest of your life until you are dead. But only a
little bit. Yeah, but like don't but don't make a big deal out of it. Yeah. I want
to have a shared bank account but I don't want you to affect my personality or
my habits in any way. Yes. Yep, I still want to act like it's exactly the
same as it was when we were just dating. The same children but different
living rooms,
that would be perfect.
I always remember this lady I used to work with
who had a kid and what you would always talk to me about
was like, yeah, you know, every weekend or every other weekend,
we like give our child to my parents who live nearby. And then we just have the weekend by ourselves or sometimes left the week by ourselves or whatever, because it's it's th, th, th, th, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, thi, thi, the, the, th be th be th be thi, th be thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, thi, the thi, that that that that the that that that that that the that that the that that the thi, the thi parents who live nearby, and then we just have the weekend by ourselves,
or sometimes left the week by ourselves or whatever,
because it's really important to us, you know,
that we have like time to ourselves
and we get to be our own people and all this shit.
And I was just like, why the fuck did you have kids, lady?
What? If your whole thing is like, I need to maintain my life tha...... thua.. to to to to to to to to maintain my life, to maintain my life, to maintain my life, to maintain my life, to maintain my life, to to to to to th. to to to be to be to be. to be. to be. to be. toe. to. to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, too, too, too, too, too, too, to me. toe. I. I. I. I, toe. I. I, toe. I. I. And, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the the tie. the tie. the tie. toda. today. today. today, t today, t t together. together, together, together, together, together, together. together. together. toe. tod like, I need to maintain my life exactly as it was before I had children.
It seems like the most logical way to do that would be to have some children and then
give them up for adoption.
Yeah, I mean if what you really want is the child birth part of the process.
You ought to be able to say technically I am a mother.
I just don't want to do the having and living with children part. That's fine. the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th. th th th th. th th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the. thiolea thea thea theolea theoleoleole. theoleolomea theateateate. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooeaaa the. the. thically I am a mother. I just don't want to do the having and living with children part. That's fine. Have a child. Give the child away.
Done. Done and dusted. Anyway when you're doing an exorcism, we got to that point.
There was an article that as I coined the phrase earlier caught my mind apparently
earlier in the week which is a bit of the old courtroom reporting from Michaela
Whitbourne of the Sydney Morning Herald with the headline discarnate spirits in the
courtroom as healer is cross-examined and I said yes yes bring this this article to me. And it just has all of
those great hallmarks of a grift. You know, just the complete bullshit of like the spiritual
healer or the motivational coach, like the Tony Robins's of the world. See those little bits
and pieces and you go, mmah, perfect. And it opens, it must be among the most arresting opening questions ever uttered in a cross-examination.
In the time you've been in this courtroom, have there been any discarnate spirits in the room?
Tom Malomby, S.C. asked Sydney Tennis coach turned spiritual healer Serge Benheon
in the New South Wales Supreme Court on Wednesday.
So began his questioning of Mr. Benhain 54 who is suing his former client and acupuncturist,
Esther Rocket, for defamation over social media posts, branding him a sexual predator and
cult leader.
Mr. Benhain, who operates the business, Universal Medicine from his home, near Lismore,
a lot of great stuff about that sentence.
Described himself in court as a quote, teacher and, quote, practitioner, whose healing techniques include, quote,
esoteric breast massage.
Oh, boy. Which is taught by him but
performed exclusively by women. I wonder how he teaches it to the women.
But he has so it's entirely platonic then. Oh yeah. Watching the woman.
What do you reckon the answer that he misspelt erotic?
How do you misspthe answer that he misspelt erotic?
How do you misspelt like erontic?
Esoteric. The guys being a deer. He's getting there, he's catching up.
You gonna, oh, okay, I've got it. No, this is, okay, so any time that any kind of joke or like
conversation or anything relies on me remembering things that happened
up to 30 seconds ago will not work I'm just putting that out for future
podcast kind of stability okay keep that in mind folks keep that we what we keep
in mind what we keep in mind a beautiful goldfish friend the a good bit
all right continue I'm sort of the opposite my short-term memory works fine
but I cannot remember what I did yesterday.
No, that's not the opposite, because I can't do either.
That's exactly.
So you... It's up to 30 seconds ago.
Your brain doesn't work.
No, it is very bad.
Okay. I've not been jerking.
Oh my god, there's rules. Why do you think I tell the same stories over and over? They're great stories and I love hearing them.
Thank you, Pat.
Anyway, you're saying something.
He told the court on Wednesday, just assume it.
When you're doing an exorcism.
You tell the court, like this guy did on Wednesday,
that he quote, had an understanding, and quote, which was stronger than a belief that in one of his many
past lives he was Leonardo da Vinci.
Oh.
And it has a quote from him you saying.
The privilege Leonardo da Vinci had to have so many direct spiritual descendants.
Very lucky.
I feel like maybe, maybe he just does stints in different people, you know?
I don't want to, like, okay.
Are you gonna devil's advocate for the... does stints in different people, you know? I don't want to, like, okay.
Are you going to devil's advocate for the... Well, no, I'm just trying to think here,
with the whole like past lives thing,
I've heard people talking, I don't know if I've heard people talking this,
when I see people talking about the shit on the internet, they're talking about this as if as if as if as if the their their, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they, they, they.o, they.o, their, thi.o.o.o. their. their, their, their, their, the So it's not like you are going through the ages in various lives, you sort of your spirits popping up around all over
the place. So there's not really, that doesn't give you like a finite number of people that
could have been Leonardo da Vinci in a past life. Oh, okay, so it's like, it's kind of like
you've plugged yourself into the animus. I don't know what that means. All right, let's move on.
You were saying something about an ex-assasance game. It's a gaming joke.
Mr. Bainhayon said. Oh, is that the thing from Assassin's Creed? Yes. I've never played an Assassin's Creed game.
Oh, you've got to pick up four for PS4. You've got a PS4 now. It should be like 20 bucks. that the one th. Ass. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thea' th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. theeeea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. be like 20 bucks is that the one that's got boats yeah yeah I want to play the boats one yeah it's
very good okay now I drew you say something about ghosts mr. Benheon said
the essence that was in that life is today in this body before you fuck I would
love to sit in a core room and say stuff like that. That is incredible. I'm going to work on being just in my daily life saying stuff like that.
Yeah. And it's going great.
So on to the defamation case. Mr. Benheyen said that he felt, quote, raped and stripped by a November 2014 blog post, well we've all been there.
Oh, Jesus Christ. We've all been there. By Miss Rocket, which was followed, which was by, by, by, th by, th by, th by, th th th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, just just just just just just just just, thi, thi, just thi, just, just thi, just just just just just, just just just, just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, thing, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, being we've all been there. Oh Jesus Christ. We've all been there by Miss Rocket, which was followed by two comments on the post and
a series of tweets in 2015.
Some more tweets back in court.
Shout up, Mark Laither.
Where they belong.
Her writings were an attempt to demolish his reputation, he said.
Miss Rocket had accused Mr. Ben Hayne of being a quote sleaze bag guru and claimed that
he performed a quote sleazy ovarian reading on her during a treatment session that involved
inappropriate touching.
What a shock.
Mr. Benhain is suing her over that allegation and a host of others he said she made,
including that he is delusional, dishonest, and a leader of a socially calmful cult.
He denies the claims and says he bought the defamation case in 2015 not only to protect
his reputation but because, quote, it's one of my principles that we should live in
a fair and decent society.
And I guess what's implied is that he wants a fair and decent society where he can do ovarian readings and esoteric breast massage on as many
women as possible. Isn't it weird that all of his techniques relate to the to like
the reproductive organs of women? That's kind of...
Oh man. That's not really weird. I mean that's where your power center aligns. Where many of the best chakras are as far as I know. I think so. I so. I so. I so. I so. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi. I thi. I thi. I th th th th th th th to to do to thi to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do th th th th th th th th th th the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. the. Do the. Do the. Do th center aligns. Where many of the best
chakras are as far as I know. I think so. The service as he offers are all
esoteric modalities. So I some of those might not be the horny ones. I couldn't tell you.
Yeah. Miss Rocket has pleaded a range of defenses including truth and honest opinion. I
love that you can plead
like in a defamation case you can say yeah well I said it because it's true.
On the second day of the three-week trial Mr. Benhain told Miss Rockets Barrister Mr. Malomby that he
could indeed sense discarnate spirits in the courtroom but declined to count them.
That's where I draw the line, sir.
It's so baller, I love it. It's great.
He denied this was because he couldn't really feel their presence, saying,
quote, I could count them if I wanted to.
He's counting Canadian ghosts.
Oh my God. He says, saying, quote, I could count them. He's counting Canadian ghosts.
Oh my god.
He says, saying, quote, I could count them if I wanted to, but it's not something I practice
and it's not something I'm allowed to do.
Oh my god, this is the uncle working at Nintendo of staring directly up.
Oh my god.
Jesus Christ, Theo.
I can do the ovarian readings, but I cannot count the ghosts in the room.
If anyone listening is confused about what it is that he does, let me just read you a quote
from him explaining his work.
The essence of the work that flows through me is in line with that which can be called
sacred and esoteric by nature.
It is non-traditional following no allegiance to any cult, form, or belief other than that which is found intuitively at the inner heart center in accordance with the impress of the hierarchy.
No claims are made... I don't think he knows where the heart is. Just putting that out. It gets more clear. No claims are made other than the stance that the work work the work the work the work the work the work the work that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the that that the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the the the the their, I. th. th. th. th. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the.a.a. the. the. the. the. the. the. that out. It gets more clear. No claims are made other than the stance that
the work like all other before us should always be ascertained by the individual to be the
work of the truth or not. My goodness. Well, that all sounds very conclusive. Yeah. And I don't know
that you guys, but any time that I'm describing my work, I often preface
it by saying that it's not a cult.
That's generally the first thing that I flag when talking about my work.
Oh my fucking God.
Definitely not a cult.
So like the title for his website is Serge Ben Hayen, I'm not really sure.
An extraordinary, ordinary man.
Oh my God.
Oh my, this is amazing.
This is the copy he's written about himself is fucking wild.
This guy rules.
He's a remarkable man who, by his way of living, is carving away for others to be inspired
to claim their extraordinaryness
and shine in their own right.
Now, funny thing.
Oh, he told Mr. Malumbi that he felt the discarnate spirits, particularly when you walked
into court, he said.
On Tuesday, Mr. Ben Hayan told the court about his successful former career as a tennis
coach. On Wednesday under cross-examination he admitted that he went bankrupt in 1995
and emerged from it in 1998. Is it a weird to get your psychic powers right after you
go bankrupt? It's a bit odd. It's kind of weird coincidence. He agreed that he had amassed
a considerable number of assets in the past 20 years when his focus shifted to spiritual healing.
Isn't it weird. Made a whole bunch more money doing that. It's odd.
He now lived, quote, very comfortably.
In 2016, he had a taxable income of more than $188,000, while his wife Miranda made $176,000.
He agreed that this was, quote, rather better than when he was a the the then's then's then's then's then's then's then, then, thousand dollars while his wife Miranda made a hundred and seventy six thousand dollars. He agreed that this was quote rather better than when he
was a tennis coach.
Just I think he might be aware that what he does is extremely creepy from this sentence
on his website. Sacred esoteric healing is a technique where the bracket fully clothed
end bracket client receives gentle application of hands
Hens
Like he's clarifying that he's not just groping people. Hey hey hey, hey, no one's nude here. It's not fucking weird. All right?
It's totally it's it's not groping if there's clothes apparently
What a creep can we just can we talk about him being a tennis coach?
Yeah, sure.
That's weird, isn't it?
How many, I wonder how many people he molested while he was a tennis coach?
Like, because you think of like a man coaching women in tennis, and it's always like, you you know the comedy film where he's like
adjusting their swing from... It's all in the hips. It's all in the hips and I wonder
whether that's where he kind of started his healing techniques.
Probably maybe he was doing a lot of therapeutic massage at the time.
Who could say?
Interestingly enough, it says that, so you know, they were making their hundreds of thousands
of dollars a year from his business.
About $50,000 of his income that year came from the Universal Family Trust, which also
distributed $129,000 to
his daughter Natalie, about $100,000 to his son Michael, $60,000 to his son Curtis and a further
$35,000 to Curtis's wife, Isabella. Another $400,000 went to a company.
This guy is making fucking crazy bank out of ripping people off with this shit.
I am ready to scam people with spiritual healing.
Well, if you can make like a million dollars a year out of them.
My house is full of incense.
You're absolutely ready to rub some titties.
I don't really do anything.
I read insane blogs constantly.
I am so prepared to charge people a hundred
bucks to come into my living room and for 20 minutes just like sit there while I like stare
at their shoulders and be like, oh, that's where the trouble is. It's clogged. Your energy's
all fucked. Oh, you clogged energy's fucking up all your muscles.
Yeah, just every day you just, you just eat edibles in the morning and talk at someone for half an hour
when they come in and then charge them 150 bucks, you know?
Like, that is actually kind of my dream day.
If I just ate like four edibles and then someone was like, I've got a sore shoulder
and then I spent two hours slow motion trying to find like the single muscle fiber that was out of
joint. It's like oh that's not it. It's very important to your treatment that
we sit and watch all the Hellraiser movies. Even the bad ones which is everyone
after the second one. Sit down with me. Would you like some seaweed crackers?
The third Hellraiser gets a pass from me.
That doesn't mean it's good.
I haven't seen any hell raises.
I've got to get on that during the holidays.
Oh man, one and two.
Come on watch two on VHS at my house for the ultimate experience.
Hell yeah. You don't really get the full impact impact the thah in the that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. that is that is that is that is that is that is that. that. that. that. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the full impact of the sound from the, what you call it, the big
thing that goes, blah!
Oh, inception.
No?
The Leviathan?
Thank you.
Yeah, what's it?
That's what makes two so cool is they introduced all that mythology stuff and then ignored
it in every subsequent movie. Yep. And, uh, the movies get like, um, what, what, what, what, um, um, um, um, the, the, what, the, what, the, what, what, the, what, what, the, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what the, the, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the big, the the the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, the big, thi, thi movie. Yep. And the movies get like progressively further and further removed from Hellraiser to a point
where it's very clear that somebody was just developing like a direct to DVD like cop thriller.
And they said, that's literally what they were, right?
Is that they got all these scripts and they were like,
at Hellraise, it's into it.
Throw a lament configuration in the last five minutes
and we'll give you some funding.
Yeah, there's movie, there are like Hellraiser movies
that legitimately, I would say for 95% of the runtime, the movie make no reference to anything to do with the like the actual Hellraiser
mythology. And someone just turned around like, oh yes the cube. Yeah at the
very end someone's like oh I found this I found this cube. Is it about my
cube? So this guy gets asked really the whole of your extended family gets
there living from universal medicine? That's correct Mr. Ben Hahn said. Asked where the money came from, he replied. the whole of your extended family gets there living from Universal Medicine? That's correct, Mr. Ben-Han said. Asked where the money came
from, he replied, the business. This included running workshops and selling books
and recordings. Asked if Universal Medicine also received donations, Mr. Benhain
said it who received some contributions and he felt more comfortable with that word.
If I consider if a person uses their own contributions and he felt more comfortable with that word.
If I consider if a person uses their own volition to give some money, that's a contribution.
He said, boy.
He agreed that those contributions may have been in the hundreds of thousands of dollars.
They also received bequests including a half share of a woman's house.
Okay.
Yep. Okay.
Yep, yep.
Um, you are on the title of the owner of half of that house now, aren't you?
Mr. Mulombie said.
That's correct, Mr. Benhain said.
Asked if he had said this woman might be reincarnated as his grandchild, he said that this was suggested, quote, playfully.
Oh my God.
Wow! that this was suggested quote playfully. Oh my wow. So which which half of the
house is that is it the bottom half and is he allowed to install glass
ceilings and is she still in the top half? Jesus fucking Christ. Wow just try to
work out at an angle here. The house has a naturally wide walls now and for some
reason all of the portrait paintings in the house are missing the house has a naturally wide walls now and for some reason all of the portrait
paintings in the house are missing their eyes.
Wow, Mr. Benhain agreed that after the woman died, he said she had returned as the child
of a German woman, although he did not use the word reincarnated.
Reincarnation is a science, Mr. Benhann said. Is it taught at universities? Mr. Malompe asked.
Not yet, Mr. Benhan replied.
The hearing continues.
Wow. I'm telling you, you've got to get in on that racket, man.
I'm really thinking about it.
Basically, that's all I've been thinking about for last few minutes.
I could probably swing it.
If I'm taking this money from rich people,
who cares?
Morally it's still good.
Yeah.
Yeah, right?
Uh, wait, no.
No?
Wait, did you say, if you're taking money, morally it's still good?
Well, from rich people.
Oh, for rich people.
If I'm taking this from like, let's say only from people who are earning over 150 grand a year.
I'm a little conflicted on this one because, look, on one hand, I think that for example,
if you're like, I don't know, if you're, you know, convincing
someone that they're in toucest with like someone that they loved in the afterlife or something
I'm not doing that part. I'm not going to John Edwards them because that shit is evil.
Yeah, yeah, I think that shit's pretty terrible.
That said, I think conning people should be legal. Okay.
I think...
I'm listening.
Yeah.
Um, I don't think it should be a crime.
If you can talk someone into giving you like a hundred thousand dollars of their money
with nothing concrete to like, to show for it, I think you should just get to keep the money
I think it's an art form like I mean sell it's like sure
well but like burglary is is that you go in and you you take the stuff that if
the person saw you taking it they'd be like hey that's my stuff yeah but if someone's
like holding a Nintendo switch and you're like, can I have that Nintendo Switch?
And they're like, no, and like, hmm, what if I ask you extremely esoterically?
I'm like, well, yes, then.
Well, if you said to the person, hey, if you give me the Nintendo switch, you'll get 600 Nintendo Switches back and also 60 kilos of gold and
it'll all be waiting in your house when you go home and they go, okay, then that guy deserves
to lose this Nintendo Switch. That's my take. That's an interesting one.
Well, Mr. Limitarian Politics Podcast. No, no, it's just-
We're talking victim-punning effects.
It's not all crime, it's not all crime, it is specifically running cons on people.
I think-
On rich people, or people in general.
Like, you don't sound like that conflicted by this.
So what about like little old ladies that are getting like those Robodile scams
where people like
calling them up and like Nigerian printing them and they have never used the
internet before so they don't realize it's fake. Here is here is the essence of
every con is that you've got to be a fucking greedy dip shit to go for it. Every single
person who gets fleeced by one of those things thinks that they're going to get a whole bunch of something for nothing.
I swear to God this has got to be like the monologue of some character in a movie played by Brad Pitt
who just like swindles people. It's so true though man. I remember there was an article in the
paper in camera a million years ago and it was about someone getting Nigerian princed, right?
And they were talking about how they had been contacted
via email by someone who was like,
hey, I'll give you a million dollars
if you just hold this money in our bank account.
Also, we will need you to transfer us $100,000 first,
or however it works, you know.
Just give us all your bank details and transfer all of your money to us
and we will launder it somehow and give you back five times as much.
And they did the shit. And they did like multiple rounds of it, right?
And the whole reason they were in the paper is they were doing an interview to say like, hey, don't get fooled.
It was like, no, I wouldn't get fooled.
No, well, the funniest thing of the article was, they were like, yeah, so they asked
us for all this money, and so we gave it to them.
And they gave these people like $150,000, right?
It was fucking nuts.
They gave them all this money, and they said, yeah, so when we cottoned on was when they asked us for money to like launder the money but what they
meant was like to wash the money. They said oh we we want like you know we need
another 25 grand or whatever so that we can wash this million dollars that we're
going to give you and they were like yeah we just thought it was really funny
because we'd already given them 25,000 dollars to wash the money and we were like, why do you need to wash the money again?
Oh boy. And I was like, don't go in the newspaper and tell people you this fucking dumb.
That's wholly unnecessary. Folks, so they deserve to lose them up to you. Yes, I agree Theo. If the wallet inspector comes to you and asks to see to to see to see to see to see to see the to see to see the to see the to see the to see the to see the the to see the the the the to see the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the money their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to wash. to wash. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why. Why th. Why theole. Why. Why the. Why their their their their their their the lose their money. Comes up to you. Yes, I agree, Theo.
If the wallet inspector comes to you and asks to see the content of your wallet,
and $50 is then snatched from you, if you lose a pineapple on that basis,
maybe you deserve to lose your pineapple.
That's all right.
All right.
My goodness.
So yeah, I think you've respect the con man. That's all I'm saying.
Take some balls. Take some balls to do the grift.
Speaking of grift, do you guys see that video of Laura Luma?
Altrudeaura Luma at the hearings in the states.
And with some like...
Begging Jack Dorsey?
Or something doing like, uh, auction voice over the top of her?
Well, it's because, you know why?
You know why that was the case?
So there's two videos.
There was one video of Laura Luma out the front of this thing as Jack Dorsey, CEO
of Twitter is leaving.
And she's just saying, can I have my verification back? Which is some extremely lame shit, and he totally ignores her and shuts the door and drives off.
But in the actual hearings, she's also in there standing up and saying,
we should all be very afraid because they are censoring conservatives.
And also, Jack, you should give me my verification back on this thing.
And, um, but she's holding in her hand the whole time like a fucking selfie stick with
her phone on it in like landscape mode in front of her face the whole time and
while she's talking all you can hear over the audio is like the guy who's
actually behind the mic on the panel going what's actually behind the mic up on the panel going,
What's this lady talking about? I can't hear it. I can't hear anything you're saying?
I can't hear anything you're saying. And he looks at it holding the phone on the selfie stick and it just looks like the sign you would hold up at an auction.
And so he starts doing the whole auction voice.
Can you do it Ben? thii? th., I absolutely cannot. But that guy did a really good one.
Oh well, that's enough for people to imagine, I guess. What about you, Theo? What about you, Theo? What about you, Theo?
I can barely talk at a normal pace without getting too shy. Oh, oh dear. And also, super bitch thing to do that's like, oh, I lost my tick, now I'm going to have to have to to to to to to to to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to to to the the the to also super bitch thing to do that's like, oh I lost my tick, now I'm going to have
to go and complain to the CEO of Twitter.
No, lose your tick like a man, like the guy that pretended to be Italian Elon Musk.
Wasn't that Alex Q Arbuckle?
Yes. It was lost his tick because he was one of the first people to get canned for pretending to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their the Alex Arbuckle? Yeah, he lost his tick because he was one of the first people to get canned for pretending
to be Elon Musk on Twitter.
It was like, ah, mama Mia.
Oh no, I got too fascist and I lost my tick.
That was a, that was a good bit for about five seconds and then like 6,000 Twitter
it was great while he was doing it.
Yeah, yeah, well he was doing it for like a day or two.
It was superb, yeah.
And then everyone else was like, I'm French Elon Musk.
It's like, boo.
Oh, look, this account running French Elon Musk has taken a big toll on my life. I need to go on a retreat now from the stress of running
my account where I pretend to be French Elon Musk. Uh, hey guys, speaking of...
Hi Andrew, speaking of Elon Musk, Elon Musk, a musketeer. Go on. So I assume, I assume that we've all seen that he has come out again, guns blazing, about the man
that he's accusing of being a pedophile.
Yeah, I believe this time he used the words child rapist.
Uh-huh. Child bride.
He also used.
So he sent two emails to a reporter.
I cannot at this point remember the reporter's name. But he sent him two emails to a reporter. I cannot at this point remember the reporter's name,
but he sent him two emails.
The first one saying, off the record.
By the way, on background.
Well, the first one he said off the record
and the second one he said on background.
And in both of these cases, as the reporter said,
off the record is a two-party arrangement. You need to have agreement the the the the the the the the the the the their their. their. the their. their. their. the their. their. their. their. to to to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. their. their. the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the their. the the the their. the their. their. their. their. their. their. together. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea.ea.ea. tea.ea.ea. their their their their their their their their their the record is a two-party arrangement. You need to have agreement from the person
that what you're telling them is off the record
before you proceed.
Otherwise, if the person doesn't agree
that it's off the record, they can print whatever the fuck they're like.
If you were having a conversation with someone off the phone,
on the phone, you said, hey,
can we keep thisell you then.
But instead Elon must just sent this guy an email with off the record at the top
and then went into the whole thing about how the diver from the rescue team
absolutely is a pito and you should stop you should stop protecting child molesters you sick sick fuck, he said to this journalist.
And he again doubled down on the whole position of like, oh, well he threatened a lawsuit,
but I never got sued, so doesn't I tell you that he actually is a big chomot?
So it's going well over a Tesla.
And, yeah, sent him another follow-up email
and this guy has published both of these things and said, never agreed for any
of this stuff to be off the record. So Elon Musk... which is very funny because
as we all know Elon Musk is a brain genius. Oh the biggest genius of our time,
the true Da Vinci. Maybe he is also, was Da Vinci in a former life.
But now he is making the move, which I think I saw somebody online refer to as like stage eight or nine of the meltdown,
which is he's going on Joe Rogan's podcast.
Oh, God, yeah. That's gonna go well.
Oh, man.
My goodness.
Rick and Morty Man cannot log off.
I wonder if he's gonna do DMT.
I hope so.
Well, he's having enough trouble with the Ambien, you know. I just can't leave it alone.
But we've all in there. He's absolutely going to lose his...
Or DMT.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Fair enough. My wife gets things like Xanax and shit now.
And so if I'm super stressed out she's like just take,
oh no, they're like valiums, whatever the generic valiums are.
If you're looking for something to, if you're stressed out and looking for something to take,
I've got some like tramadol in the cupboard.
What is that?
It's like oxies. Yeah, you could just casually
take some of those. Well, actually might still have some oxies from when I am. Are we still
recording the podcast? Yeah, sure. Okay. What drugs do you like to take them? I've never taken any of these
recreationally, which is probably why you could use them. Yeah, I don't do drugs. I only smoke weed. Yeah, well, that's fair.
It's a plant. How can a plant be a crime?
God put this on the earth for us, man. But you're right, Penn, it felt like the podcast took a very solemn shift there for a second.
What into us talking about what kinds of drugs we have in our house?
Yeah.
No, well, I don't think that you should be stigmatized.
Theo, I don't think you should be stigmatized to being so insane that you have drugs in your
house to stop you from freaking out.
Don't make it about this, Edge.
Don't do this.
Hey, uh, I don't know if I spoke about this on the podcast, but when I was flying back from
Japan, I had like two valiums but couldn't fall asleep and just completely lost my mind.
Like, nice.
Oh.
I had a couple of whiskeys and a couple of valiums and was just like, no matter what I did,
I couldn't fall asleep and I've been up for a really, really long time and I was just watching
the animated film Coco and just crying my eyes. Oh my god. Completely unable to like...
Cocoa makes me cry Stone Cold Sover. I was a horrifying experience. I just like couldn't function at all,
but that movie, delightful. Very sad in so many different parts.
Yeah, yeah, I felt, much like Moana,
it genuinely left me feeling like I had actually learned something
about another culture.
Like the whole, uh...
Mowana was delightful. It was a nice movie. Yeah.
But like in Coco with all of the Day of the Dead Festival stuff where it like actually explains
what the point of it is and you know putting people's pictures up and everything.
Yeah, it was nice.
Yeah, and I was like, oh, my dead grandparents.
Well, that kind of stuff.
And then my kids just look at me weird while I cry on the couch and they're trying to watch their fun movie.
It's funny because he has a guitar and you're just like, oh, mortality!
No! It's his grandfather's guitar.
Oh, he wrote the song for Coco! All right, well I won't be watching that movie then. Oh, I'm gonna re-watch. Oh, my God.
It's beautiful.
It's beautiful.
Now, what's the deal with Rosebud?
What's the deal with?
What thereast?
Oh, he can't say that word to me.
I've watched too much Grotey porn to hear that word.
What? I've played too much the the, oh fuck, the Sims.
You know, it was one of the cheat codes in the Sims.
Oh, well, anybody who doesn't know what that refers to in a pornography context,
count yourself lucky and do not go looking.
That's all I can say to you.
That's all I can say to you.
Let's leave that at that, lest I be forced to explain further.
Anyway, speaking of people who should I guess probably be medicated,
oh my Joe Hilderbrand had a story in the paper, not a story, an opinion piece full of his opinions.
And let me tell you folks,
his opinions, dog shit. Dog shit. Each and every one. I'd just like to wheel back around
for a second and say that I don't actually think that anybody should be forcibly
medicated. I don't think anyone was going to take that as sincere. Although... No, but still.
This week's crime pass.
Do you reckon if you put LSD into the tip of a blow dart, it would work? It would probably
depend where the dart hit, I guess. I don't, right in the dick. Right in the bullseye. You can blow dart, uh, LSD laced darts into Joe Hilderrand's glands, or the Joe Hilda Glens,
if you will.
That's good.
That's good.
That's this week's crybass.
Yeah.
So he wrote an article, and when you consider what the Australian media landscape has been like over
the past week or so
which has been Steve Bannon getting interviewed on four corners. What else
have we had? We've had a lot of good stuff. We've had you know the new Prime
Minister Scott Morrison up there saying we don't need gender whispers in
schools let kids be kids. Let kids be kids.
Let kids be not queer, is what the Prime Minister would like you to know.
Yeah.
Oh, he was also out there today calling on the power of prayer to solve the drought.
So that's cool.
It seems like as his job as in running the country, there may be some sort of like physical
aspect I think to doing it.
I don't know, I could be wrong.
I think.
No, I think it's mainly a spiritual role.
Yeah.
It's mainly encouraging people to pray.
Like the Queen.
That's what most Australians are looking for in 2018 is just encouragement to pray.
It's about it.
So considering how not great things are going with our media landscape at the moment, Joe has
written a piece entitled Big Problem with Identity Politics.
It's right folks, it's time for another big cry about identity politics. has written a piece entitled, Big Problem with Identity Politics.
It's right, folks, it's time for another big cry about identity politics.
So here are the opinions of a really dumb man.
There is something cripplingly sad at the heart of identity politics, which perhaps
explains why those who practice it always seem so morose. You know how serious you are Ben? Yeah. How literally soul-destroying
it must be to believe that you are defined by the skin you are born into
rather than the heart that beats inside it. That the experience of the body is
more important than the life of the mind.
I just had like one of those, you know those like scenes in The Simpsons where it just like flashes up to Homer's, what's going on inside Homer's head?
I just got that as the life of the mind of Joe Hildebrand.
It's made me think of bloody, uh...
It's the Colin Brothers movie, the second or third one.
John Goodman screaming, I'll show you the life of the mind while the building is on fire
and he's got the axe.
Barton Fink?
That's the one.
It's pretty good that I got that considering that I have not seen Barton Fink.
Oh, wonderful film my friends.
You simply must watch the movie. Okay.
The problem is that when you define yourself by your race or gender or sexuality and others by theirs,
you immediately vacate the field of intellectual rigor,
what humans once optimistically call the Battle of Ideas.
Oh, shut the fuck up.
This is a mad libertarian shit.
I love it.
I just, I love this stuff so much because it's just this idea that like, if people just
stopped talking about any of this stuff, it, racism would be solved, you know?
Yeah, like, if, if people in the States stopped
talking about like unarmed black men being shot by the police then it just
wouldn't happen? Or just that people wouldn't care? Which one is meant to be the
outcome of it? Well I think if you're shot by the police you're just not
supposed to define yourself by it. Yeah, I think it you're shot by the police, you're just not supposed to define yourself
by it.
Yeah.
I think it's the point that he's making.
If you get a hole put in your head by the people that are supposed to protect it.
Just don't be so pissy about it, basically, I think.
I'd be so pissy about getting murdered. Instead of the most the most the most most most most most most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi thi thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. It is thi. It's is thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. I's is thi. I is th murdered. Instead of the most compelling and logical arguments gaining a sentency,
all points of view are reduced to the fleshy bits of whoever is espousing them.
Hence, only a woman can understand sexism and no Caucasian can comprehend racism.
Well, he obviously can't comprehend it, so there's probably a kernel of truth to that.
Hmm. To grasp an issue or what might now be called an experience, you don't have to examine or
explore it, you only have to be it.
Your only qualification is your body and of course the opposite applies.
Anyone who doesn't meet at least one physical criteria for oppression is seen as illegitimate.
Again this idea that like, yeah only a woman can understand sexism is like,
no, but maybe you could listen to a woman talking about it.
No Caucasian can comprehend racism.
Maybe if you tried listening to some of the people who were like victims of systemic racism,
maybe you could start to understand it.
Maybe if you like interviewed somebody for this instead of just, uh, whatever this is.
I don't know what the fuck this is, this is like... And I guess what gets me as well as like,
is, that's not even what anybody's saying.
Nobody is saying that.
That's right, it's a complete storm.
Only a woman can understand sexism.
Only people who are not white can comprehend racism.
Like I can comprehend the existence of racism without having been oppressed by it.
Like I don't understand what he's finding so complicated here. It's so dumb and it's like, it's like, it's like, that's like, it's like, it. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, I, I, it's like, I, it's like, it's like, that, that, it's like, it's like, that, it's like, that's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's, it's, it's, it. that's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right. It's right, it's right, it's right, it's right, it's right, it's right, it's like, that, that, that, that, right, that, that, right, that's like, right, right, right, right, right, right, that's like, right, right, that's like, right, right, that's like, right, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, that's like, it's like, I don't understand what he's finding so complicated here.
It's so dumb, and it's like, only someone as dumb as this
would truly believe that there's a marketplace of ideas
where the most rational bubble to the top
and are accepted as fact when we know time and time again,
that people are dumb. Well, he's got a fucking column in the paper, doesn't he?
That's exactly right. And you know, wow, like, you're telling me that there's, you know,
as a white man, he's not unfairly, you know, benefiting.
If someone as dumb as him can get away with writing stuff as dumb as he does and get paid for it,
that's probably a little something wrong, I would say.
But yeah, like this concept that people are all, like if we all just sat down and rationally hashed this out, that like you said, if you ignore it, it all goes away, the racism goes away and we just go, well we just need to talk, we just need to talk seriously about why what your feeling is not real, yeah, like people are
by and by rational instead of all of these things being defined by people being irrational, which they are,
which people are by definition. It's not going to get better, right? Like,
it's not going to suddenly solve itself. And I think, yeah, anyone that believes that
is a huge dip shit. Well, like, it's, as well, I don't understand, like, yeah, having your whole
political position seemingly be set up around like I don't know I
guess deliberately saying there is no circumstance under which I could ever
understand or empathize with another person in their position so I'm not
going to try like it it almost yeah it almost seems like just kind of I don't
throwing your hands up and saying,
oh well, you know, you've told me that I don't understand what it's like to be discriminated
against because I'm white, therefore I can never understand, so I won't even bother listening
to you about it.
Guess I'm just a racist, huh?
I guess I'm just a big racist.
He did this to me. Hey you know what this is actually about guys?
This brings us to the lampooning of Scott Morrison for being not just straight white and male,
but also horror of horrors a Christian. Oh Jesus Christ. If being a straight white man is
the trifector of cultural oppression these days, then
Scomo has just taken out the quadrilla.
Far be it from me to be remotely offended by this, indeed as a failed rock star, I applauded
to Knightley's rhyming of Jesus with Refugeesus.
However, it is a perfect example of why defining someone by their racial, sexual or
even religious identity is both utterly pointless and deeply hypocritical.
Allow me to demonstrate.
He felt like that needed to be its own paragraph.
Allow me to demonstrate.
Scomo has long attracted special attention for his skin, color chromosomes and god-bothering
ways.
A 2016 Fairfax opinion piece opened with poor Scott Morrison as a wealthy white male
Christian he's got it tough.
And a Huffington post piece opened with Scott Morrison, a straight white Christian male
politician claims he has experienced the same sort of hatred and bigotry which
face LGBTI people striving for marriage equality.
And of course since becoming PM he has only been defined ever more by his whiteness,
straightness and churchiness.
Again, I am far from outrage, but here's a fun little fact.
Morrison is actually not the first straight white, male, Christian, and quite a bit
wealthier.
In fact, the bloke who Morrison replaced was also straight white and male and Christian,
and quite a bit wealthier, yet he was breathlessly fated by Fairfax.
It just...
It's almost as if the religion is not the problem that people have here. It's the...
his cruelty and his hypocrisy that people are picking at like I
don't he brings out this point that you know everyone almost every prime minister
up until this point in time has been a straight white male Christian right like
like people are not this is not new to people I don't think people are particularly outraged by it, right? Because like how could you? I think
the point that people have is that to have that face and then to go out and, you
know, tell refugees that they are never going to, never going to arrive in Australia and to you know, show up in Parliament, waving a piece of coal around showing how, you, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you, you know, you know, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, and to, you know, show up in Parliament waving a piece of coal around showing how, you know, incredible it is when we're
all just sitting there and going, yeah, that's cool, that's, that's, we're going
to die and probably real soon, like, is it like, am I nuts? Like, is it like, am I,
am I nuts? Like, I don't know? Well, yeah, in his case, it's specifically that, like, like, like, I that that that that that that that that that that, I that, I that, I that that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I, I, I, I, I, I'm never, I, I, I'm not, I'm not, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm that's, I'm never, I'm never, that's never, that's never, that's never, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's his case it's specifically that like, you know, I know that, like you're
saying, it is not news to anybody that all save one of Australia's prime ministers have
been straight white Christian males, but does he think that like that's helping make his point?
Yeah, that's helping make the point of other people.
He's essentially just confirming that the society we live in is structured around the idea
that only people who fit that criteria are eligible to be the Prime Minister of this country.
That those are the only, those are the only people who are seen as like meeting the criteria.
Despite our significantly shifting and evolving demographics.
Yeah.
So there's that part.
And there's also, so yeah, like the idea that this does not, you know,
reinforce the fact that we live in, you know, a fucking patriarchal society, which
as lots of right-wing people will love to remind you, is founded on Judeo-Christian ethics
and morals and all that kind of shit.
But also, yeah, the fact that he is, as far as I know, far more so than a lot of other
politicians. Like, I mean, again,
I don't think it's any secret that any given politician will identify as being Christian,
but does that mean that you just say the Lord's Prayer in Parliament in the morning,
and maybe you go to like a, one of those prayer breakfasts every now and then? Maybe you go to like a one of those
prayer breakfasts every now and then maybe you go to church once a week or
whatever while you're fucking your like parliamentary aid on the side like
you know I don't I don't think there's any strong correlation between
someone in politics identifying as a Christian and that person
actually holding the moral conviction Christian and that person actually
holding the moral conviction of that church's teachings. I think it is a
you know a posturing thing for a lot of people. It's a lot of people saying
this is a thing I need to identify to be seen as eligible, hence the history of
who has been the prime minister in this country.
Absolutely, but I mean we know the story of the Good Samaritan where, you know,
Jesus came across this man who'd been severely beaten and left on the line of the road,
and he's a foreign man. And of course Jesus took that man and he put him in a prison.
And he put him in a prison and say, look, you can't, we have to have you in this prison and make sure that everyone can't have that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that to have that that that to have that everyone can see you in this prison or else other Samaritans also want our help
and it all just becomes this big mess. And we can't have that. We can't have that. So I think
that's pretty famous teaching. And the thing of like, you know, helping your neighbor and
kindness and that sort of thing which is what I assumed it's actually about. And again, as far as I am aware,
Scott Morrison is also a much more publicly churchy person.
So much more so than Malcolm Turnbull just, you know, going to a prayer breakfast every now
and then, but other than that, just living his life in a fairly agnostic manner, which
I think is what we all picture him doing.
I don't think anybody on the fucking planet imagines that Malcolm Turnbull goes home at night and before
he turns into bed, kneels down next to his bed and folds his hands and says, Lord, I need
guidance.
Sure.
Sure.
He's also wearing one of those pointy sleeping caps while he's doing it.
But I mean, I need your guidance on how to compromise my morals yet again.
But honestly, like I don't care if you are, right? Like I don't, I think, you know, whatever, we're going to have people of all kind of faiths
and what have you, take up, take up, you know, positions at all at all levels, right? Like, I don't, I don't
care. The thing that people I think mostly have an issue with is Scott Morrison is his actions. If your actions don't match match the kind the kind the kind the kind the kind th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I think mostly have an issue with is Scott Morrison is his actions. And if your actions don't match, you know, the kind of image that you're trying to portray
for yourself, then you know, maybe that's bullshit.
Yeah, you can be as churchy as you like, except that if you are the person who
architected the entire Operation Sovereign Border scheme. Yeah, it's...
Then you don't get to act as though you are a good Christian person.
That's right.
You don't get to have, you know, a series of people try to like commit suicide
and self-immolate in a prison that you set up.
You don't get to have like a whole bunch of children attempting to commit suicide
in camps that your government is running
and also claim to be a good and generous Christian.
You can fuck off with that.
Uh, what's his name, Joe continues.
Oh, so, and I like this as well. Not only was the PM before Morrison,
but so is the man who will be PM after him, a Christian.
Yep, snap your guarders and call yourself Ethel.
Okay.
Because Bill Shorten is, wait for it, straight, white, male and Christian.
And if that wasn't enough of a co-inky dink for you...
I fucking hate this guy.
It's also worth remembering that all three men have something else in common.
Their asylum-seeker policy, yet sadly, only one gets a tribute song on the ABC.
It's enough to make baby refugees cry.
Yeah, because only one of them's in power at the moment. Only one of them is the
fucking Prime Minister at the... And here's the thing, right? Like, it sucks when Bill
Shorten does it as well. Yeah, and it wouldn't... It wouldn't matter if he was... like, you know, if he was
an atheist and he was doing it, it would still suck.
Like, oh, it, yep, yep, he's very dumb man.
He is wildly moronic.
And yeah, like you're saying, what?
So, is this fucking TV show tonightly meant to go back in time and do a version of this song for every prime minister that this policy has been going under?
Are they supposed to do one for Bill Shorn and say, oh, if you become the prime minister, then this song about you also?
Which, which absolutely would have happened as well.
Like, let me just say that categorically.
Like, people would be shit talking Bill Shorten
if he was in power right now, right?
Because that's what you're supposed to do.
It's, yeah, it's very dumb.
Ah, you want to hear a sweet, sweet bit of being a huge, fucking moron and not getting anything?
Here we go.
Of course, the savvy identity politician
would say that this only proves the point. If you're a straight white male and Christian,
it means you have no empathy for all those nasty brown-skinned Muslims coming over in boats.
Damn it's gods. No, it means that if you are a straight white-male Christian who displays no
empathy for those people, that's what means you have no empathy for them. Inconveniently for them, the the the the the the the the the th th th th the the th th th th th th the th th the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi-a, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thi-s, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, tho, that's what means you have no empathy for them.
Inconveniently for them, the most outspoken advocate for both people in the country is probably
an Anglican priest called Rod Bauer.
Should Father Rod's position on refugees also be dismissed because he is straight white,
male and Christian? No, because he's speaking in favor of them.
Because he's using his faith for kindness. Like what is this... it's not... it's not... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's the the most... It's the most... It's the most... It's the most... It's the most... It's the most... It's the most... the most... the most... the most... the most... the most... the most... the most. the most the most... the most the most the most the most the most the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. the most. The most. The most. The most. The most. The most. The most. The most. the most the most the most the most the most the most. the most. the most... the most... the most... the most... the most... the most... the most... the most... the most... the most... the most... the most... th. It's th. th. th. thi. thi. thooooooo's most the. theat... the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most... the most. speaking in favor of them. Because he's using his faith for kindness.
Like what is this?
It's not a difficult concept to graphs.
Father Bob also rules, right?
Like, it's not, it's almost as if it's not their faith that defines them, but the actions
that they take.
Yeah, like, was this, identity politics would have us believe that possessing just one of
these properties would lead us to a certain worldview and yet Bauer and Morrison share all four
qualities and have come to completely opposite positions on the issue that defines them
both. That little experiment alone is enough to prove it is utter worthlessness as a political theory.
Well, number one, that's fucking not what it's about, like I say.
The idea that like, yeah, if you want to understand like systemic racism and its effects
that you should talk to someone that it actually affects as opposed to like,
yeah, having brown skin automatically means that you have had
exactly the same identical experience to every other human being with brown skin.
The fucking moron.
My goodness.
And he closes out his ridiculous article after some other silly shit by saying,
Personally, I'd rather live in a world where people can say what they want.
And ideas are judged on their merits.
But what would I know? I'm just a straight white male.
Farkadle.
The absolute...
Dipshitted creton. There was a time where I didn't think like... Look it all. The absolute dip-shuted cretin.
There was a time where I didn't think like, I thought, there's no way that Joe Hildebrand
could be, like he's bad, but he's not like a Andrew Bolt, but he is, he just lacks the
pizz.
He's like a boring bolt. Yeah, he doesn't even have like the smugness to carry any of it off.
No, he doesn't, it's like, it's so transparent that you can immediately see there's nothing new that's being said here at all.
And it doesn't even, he doesn't have even the good sense to make it entertaining.
No, not even slight.
So...
I do really enjoy though that he is framed, he is like book-ended that article by saying,
if only the world were about achieving merit on the basis of the strength of your ideas
and the power of your logic and your ability
to comprehend and execute arguments as opposed to your status as a straight white Christian
male.
And then he goes about just demonstrating absolute, fucking done to head it in comprehension
of incredibly basic arguments. Like, just, tripp--o, to-e'-a-sit-on-exa, on their, their-headed, in comprehension of incredibly basic arguments.
Like, just tripping over his own dick with these incredibly stupid points that he's making
that all really clearly contradict each other if you hold them up to the light for even the merest second.
While an incredibly uncritical editor just shepherds it through.
No, that's good, print it. Because yeah, we're gonna get to print, whatever.
Look, I got an important question, which is, you still with us, Ben? I sure am.
Ah, there he is. A sweet baby boy. No, I have a horrible admission to make. I got distracted because it looks like whoever is on at work tonight is fucking up something very bad with our social posts and I'm... It. It. th. It. th. th. th. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's, that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. thi. thi. th. horrible admission to make. I got distracted because it looks like whoever is on at work tonight is fucking up something
very bad with our social posts and I'm trying to figure out who it is.
Stop it.
I'm always on the clock.
Always on the cock.
But it also looks like no one's working tonight.
How has this happened?
Oh, it's a ghost is updating the website! A ghost is tweeting out the captions from articles but not the articles themselves.
Oh, the ghost in the machine. Who is doing this? Well, we'll leave you to solve that mystery.
I'm so sorry, this is very unprofessional. But in another it is. Very professional.
Yeah, just not this profession. Yeah, wrong profession. Yeah, you're supposed to work on the thing that you're currently being paid for, but that's
okay, we can go through this afterwards.
No big deal.
Hey, look, some of us just...
No, she is here.
Your only crime, Ben, is caring too much.
That's...
You're exactly right.
And the drug is.
Oh, yeah. I don't buy a lot of weed. I thia I that I that I that I that I that I that I that I that thia. I thia. I thia. I thia. I thia. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoomompera. thoomathea. thathea. thoomatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheatheat. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. thooo. thoooooooooooooooo. th. I think that is a crime. Technically, if you want to get technical.
So on that note, folks, I think we will wrap it up.
As always, you can find extra bonus episodes over on Patreon.com for only 5 American
dollars a month, while they still have dollars. Of Of course that gets you some extra bits of content.
All the other jazz that we do gets you, you can submit questions to the mail bag
but we will answer on the bonus episodes, all that kind of thing.
You can go on the Discord and bully me like all the rest of them.
You can get on the Discord on the old chat, bully Theo.
All in good fun, isn't it, mate? Just having a laugh, huh?
Just pulling your leg, right?
Uh, huh?
Uh, huh?
Uh, unnel.
But until next week, that's it from us.
And we'll see it later.
Bye.
Bye. Look, honestly, I'm so sorry. So distracted. She just got back to me.
They're sorting the problem out now.
So, do you think now that that mystery has been solved,
that you could take the time to say goodbye for listening?
Hey, listeners.
Goodbye. the