Boonta Vista - EPISODE 73: Fantasy Island
Episode Date: November 12, 2018Andrew, Lucy, Ben and Theo are taking you to a tropical paradise where we can celebrate the departure of SuperRacist Ross Cameron and he hurt feelings of his pal Andrew Bolt. Also, Mark Latham joins O...ne Nation and we take your letters. Support the show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Merchandise now available: boontavista.com/merchandise *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista iTunes: tinyurl.com/y8d5aenm Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/s?fid=144888&refid=stpr Pocket Casts: pca.st/SPZB RSS: tinyurl.com/kq84ddb
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Welcome to Buente Vista episode 73.
You find yourself alone on a beautiful tropical beach.
You're taking a stroll.
You're not really sure how you got here.
But you're taking a stroll.
Off in the distance, you see a lone woman spearfishing in the surf. She's stabbing
the fish and then saying, eugh, gross. And that's Lucy.
Is that me? Why am I spearfishing? Well you don't like it, I'll say that much.
Did I just learn this? Because I'm in Hawaii immediately. I'm an adept
spearfisher. We don't have answers for the list. No one said adept. Just a terrible spfishing. Just hammering the water, getting nothing.
You're spearfishing, but, you know.
You know.
You see a thatched hut in the distance.
You continue your strolling over towards it.
From inside you hear the muffled sounds of the mighty, mighty boss tones.
You see the beaded curtains in the front of the Thatch-Hud part,
and you see a pervert with a beautiful mullet beckoning you inside. That would be Ben. Hello Ben.
I'm very confused because he said mullet and I said that's me and then you said pervert. What's going
to go to the pervert? What's going on? Well, you know I I'm going to say five days ago, I thought the mighty,
mighty boss tones and they might be giants were the same band?
You know what, in my head they are and I don't care to differentiate between them.
Oh me either.
Yeah.
Just speaking of Skarr, a full four days ago, a fultermo'er.
A fien't the show Ben Jung, was trying to explain to me why he
hated Funk and said to me the words, I feel about Funk the same way you feel about
SCAR.
That's disgust.
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, oh, that's awful.
That's very reasonable.
That's, oh, me being angry, I thought you were saying. He said it was reasonable. That's, how, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th th th thi thi thi, thi thi, thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi I thought you were saying. Yeah, he said it was reasonable
Oh
Hmm. That's how could you not like funk even people that like even if you don't actively seek out funk
If funk comes on somewhere you always got to be like oh this is funky. This is cool. I'm having a good time. We'll never say that. Oh, well, you don't. This is an internal bottle log and it's literally funky. Oh, just clicking. This is. This is. This is. It's this is this is this is this is this is th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. that's reasonable. that's reasonable. that's reasonable. that's that's that's reasonable. It's reasonable. It's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's reasonable. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's th. th. th. thi. that's that's thi. that's reasonable. thi. thi. the reasonable. the reasonable. the reasonable. the reasonable. the reasonable. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. that's that's thi. that. Oh well you don't this is an internal model log and it's literally funky. Just clicking your finger. What is that is that a bass
guitar? Oh. Hey I'm not done yet by the way guys. The muleted perman beckons you inside to an
uncomfortable looking couch it's clearly been lashed together out of bamboo.
And he's demanding that you sit down next to a jumpy fellow named Theo.
Hey, I feel like calling me jumpy kind of gives like way too much activity to what I'm
like.
There's certainly more of a passive creature.
Definitely.
More frightened than jumpy.
Yeah, I'm more aiming to capture like a nervous energy there.
Skittish as in you're like, you're on the balls of your feet ready to run if a loud noise happens.
But I also am not physically capable of running because I lack muscle mass mass.
You will fake before it happens.
The moustache had pervert demands that you sit with him and watch a classic VHS.
It's the 1999 Carrotop Comedy Chairman of
the Board. Five for five. We have to get, we have to get that for you, been on VHS.
I've never seen it anywhere on VHS. It exists, it exists. I've done some recent research.
Great. And here in behind you comes me, Andrew, locking the beaded curtain behind me and demanding
that you listen to my political opinions.
Superglowing all of the beads together.
One solid sheet.
And also insisting that you sit down on the couch and listen to the things we have to say
on this.
Buntivista episode 73. Folks, what is 7 plus 3?
Do you want someone to answer this? Is that one of those things where you need us to or you're just going to keep going regardless? Both. I feel like it's more than eight. It is 10. And what are the 10 most beautiful words in the English language?
Sky News fires Ross Cameron due to racist Disneyland rant.
Oh that was incredible. Wow!
I'm not even going to verify if that was 10 words.
Oh dear, that's right folks.
Can you repeat that? He got fired, why? Well, have you actually not called this story? I called that he got fired? you repeat that? He got fired why?
Well, have you actually not called this story?
I called that he got fired. I didn't actually, I didn't find out why.
It's a lot for a, for a racist Disneyland ran.
What is the racist Disneyland run?
So, um, I'll read to you here.
Well, you're about to find out. I'll read to you here. Well, you're about to find out. Oh, I'll read to you here from story.
Oh, it's my cellar door.
Read to you from News.com.
That are you.
Sky News commentator Ross Cameron has been sacked by the broadcaster after launching into a racist rant
about Chinese people visiting Disneyland.
The comments, which went to air on Tuesday, were described by Sky News chief executive
Paul Whitaker as, quote, totally unacceptable.
Cameron was the host of outsiders on Sky News, which he presented with spaghetti-haired
fuck Rowan Dean.
Sky News is committed to robust discussion and debate.
However, this language is totally unacceptable," said Whittaker.
Cameron's rant used a number of unusual and racially loaded descriptions of Chinese people.
Here's the quote for you.
Quote, if you go to the Disneyland in Shanghai on any typical morning of the week,
you'll see 20,000 black-haired, yellow-y-eyed, yellow-skin Chinese, desperate to get into Disneyland,
he said.
Wow.
Wow.
That's the thing, according to the Guardian, Cameron was defending China at the time.
Oh my goodness.
He was, and that's the thing, is that like, he has been, it's like, I don't know if you've got
the Andrew Bolt thing already loaded up, but like, Bolt's like, I don't like China, but he
always goes into bad for them.
Like, this has been his thing for ages.
He's just a fucking old-timey racist and has no other, their idea how else to be. Apparently there's no other way to describe 20,000 Chinese people other than just saying
20,000 Chinese people? What was the context of this? Was it about like trade tariffs or something?
Oh, here's the context. So continuing, quote, the Chinese civilization is the oldest continuing
civilization in the world, okay? It's not going anywhere. He added that Chinese people were flocking to Shanghai Disneyland because they quote,
like and enjoy and embrace many aspects of Western culture.
So he was actually defending China against allegations that the country was trying to influence
Australian intelligence networks.
So he's basically, I enjoy this because he's got every aspect of
this wrong. It's great. Like the idea that you would bother to, I mean, like, I think
we've talked about this before. There is a big difference between like seeing how
unhinged American liberals are about Russia and election
interference and stuff like that, versus like you don't have to you don't have
to sort of believe that like China, sorry that Russia has personally rigged every
voting machine in the United States to also believe that
Russia will like employ espionage to get one up on its rivals on the world stage?
Like that's not, that's not by any stretch of the imagination unreasonable.
I think it's a fairly established fact that different countries have intelligence agencies
and they use those to try and gather intelligence about each other.
And like we have tons of shit like Sam Dastiari taking shit loads of money to say,
to like just chat away very openly to Chinese billionaires.
Hey, how about that South China Sea?
How about that?
How about the South China see? So um so yeah's all, he's like defending China by saying, hey,
why would they, why would they bother to try and get intelligence out of us and influence our intelligence networks?
Which is sort of dumb to start with.
But then he also conducts his defense by just doing slurs?
There's some full-on slurs too. Like
what? They're wild. On what? I just don't understand like how what he was saying
necessitated that in any way shape or form. It also rules like how much he would have been
getting paid by Sky to be so bad at television
to not realize that maybe doing full-on like anti-Chinese slurs might cause you some issues.
Yeah, you can only be like a level eight races on Sky.
Yeah, can't go all the way up to 10, you know. Well, that was the other thing about like the, the,
you know, admonishment from the, from the CEO and all that kind of stuff,
where it's clear that the problem here is that he just forgot the crypto part of
crypto racist. Yeah.
It's like, you forgot to like couch it in just bizarre, um, abstractions and just said the quiet part loud instead.
Well, I mean, let's go back to the quote from Sky News Chief Executive Paul Whitaker.
Sky News is committed to robust discussion and debate. However, this language is totally unacceptable.
I love it when debate is robust. It's one of my favorite kinds of debate. Just give me that robust debate. I'm, I'm here for a totalle that. I'm here for the thi. I'm, I'm th. I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm it when debate is robust. It's one of my favorite kinds of debate.
Just give me that robust debate.
I'm here for robustly debating who is and isn't human.
So, yeah, that makes, I mean, he's, you know, he's apologized for it post this.
He's also been suspended from the Liberal Party for four
and a half years after like comparing the Liberal Party to the Nazi Party
for refusing to let him stand up and make racist speeches at party events
and stuff which is very cool. So that makes that makes two of the original three outsiders hosts now who have been fired for being
quote, extremely fucked up.
Mega racist.
Super racist.
Just super racist.
And now all we can hope is that Rowan Dean's tight curls are atted at escalator and that he
gets sunk in there and then the
show will be taken off the air.
Oh, that's a great image.
So Andrew Bolt understandably got very upset about all of this and he wrote a column defending,
defending Ross Cameron.
Now, I will note in this defense that at no point does he actually like explain again why
this particular sentence needed to be loaded with like anti-Asian slurs.
But from Andrew Bolt's column, he says, uh, all those journalists and activists now calling
sacked Sky News host Ross Cameron
are quote racist, scare quotes racist, are fools or liars or just lazy.
Cameron was sacked last week by Sky News after an activist group tweeted a clip of him saying
quote, if you go to Disneyland in Shanghai on any typical morning of the week you will see 20,000
black-haired, yellow-skinned Chineseinned Chinese, desperate to get into Disneyland. The
activists sleeping giant are of the left and determined to destroy Sky by
attacking its advertisers. I wonder if it's more that they would just like Sky
to stop being overtly racist?
And having people... Like hear those words and not think that they're their th stop being overtly racist? And having people...
How can you hear those words and not think that they're racist?
But, like, this is great though, like,
he says, Cameron Shaw gave them material to work with,
stupidly using provocative language that, out of context, made him seem an anti-Chinese bigot.
Provocative.
But even when you... But again, like, yeah, if by provocative we are using the coded language
for very racist, hmm. But then you put it into context and there is still just no adequate
explanation as to... Yeah, The context doesn't do anything good.
Yeah, he's like, China's not trying to influence our spy networks,
and look at them all with their yellow skin and their slanty eyes.
What?
How did that have to be inserted into that thing?
Makes no sense.
The media left pounced.
SPS said, Ross Cameron has been let go from Sky News after on-air comments.
Many said were, quote, racist.
Or, you know, we could just call them racist.
From the ABC.
Ross Cameron sacked by Sky News after making racist comments.
That's better.
And from the Sydney Morning Herald, Ross Cameron sacked for racist comments.
But the Sydney Morning Herald was still honest enough to confess after quoting the offending words,
the context of the comment was not immediately clear.
Hmm, it kind of was though.
Yeah, but also when it comes to like, um, Ross Cameron and Roanedine, it's also generally very difficult
to ascertain context because both of them just ramble like fucking
lunatics.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um...
See, the idea of Cameron being anti-Chinese is a joke, he says.
Is it?
The claim that he showed racism, defined as prejudice against people of another race in the
belief that one's own race is superior is a lie.
Oh, goodness.
Cameron is in fact notorious as an apologist for China, and his badly chosen comment came
during another long rave against its critics. I, you know, you know you're always having a good time when you have to say,
the Macquarie Dictionary defines racism.
Oh yeah, if you bring up the dictionary racism, you know it's bad.
Oh dear.
He denounced those who, like me, a Sky colleague, called China a strategic threat
and defended it as the inheritor of the oldest continuous civilization in the world and our most important trading partner.
Unlike the United States, he stormed, the Chinese have not dropped bombs on anyone else
in recent decades and had instead lifted 800 million people out of poverty since 1980 in
quote the greatest humanitarian achievement in human history.
Cameron's quote, slanty-eyed comments were meant to contrast the populist image of the Chinese
hordes with the fact that many Chinese were just queuing to get into Disneyland, a symbol
of US culture.
Oh shit, we're the ones that are racist.
That's right. Guess so.
So call Cameron.
I hate it when I reflected in a dark mirror.
But if you call him a racist and parenthetically for using explicitly racist terms for no
particular reason, you're wrong.
Says Andrew.
Thanks, Andrew.
You should have showed us.
Oh dear.
That's, yeah, he didn't do particularly well on his smarmy logic front on this one.
And like, yeah, I mean, I suppose with a lot of right-wing commentators, they really do love
the whole trope of like, um, divorcing the substance of what you say with the intent, you know?
They do love that whole thing of like, ah, he may have used a bunch of explicitly... the substance of what you say with the intent, you know?
They do love that whole thing of like, ah, he may have used a bunch of explicitly racist slurs,
but also, yeah, he loves Chinese people.
Loves him.
Loves them.
Dear, oh dear.
So, um, so now we have lonely Rowan Dean.
Peace. Peace. Peace. Peace?
So I guess, only one left. Only Roan Dean left.
Who are they going to get? They're going to have to give Daisy a full-time show.
Well, they had, they had, this fucking name, the...
Oh, I can't remember his name, the MP...
Craig Landry.
Yes.
Craig Laundry.
Craig Laundry.
Craig Laundry.
Craig Laundry, the washing machine-shaped man.
They had him on and it's just that kind of shit that just makes me go like...
Why, how can a government minister just go on a show
that effectively operates as propaganda for them?
Although I was seeing a clip the other day from like a Donald Trump election rally
which was being covered by Fox News and then, um, and then, what's his fucking name,
Sean Hannity just got up on stage and started like, whooping up the crowd.
And then Judge Janine got up there and started like talking to the crowd at a fucking Donald
Trump political rally.
And I was like, that's cool.
Cool.
Cool that, you know, quote unquote journalists from the, quote unquote, that's cool. Cool. Cool.
Cool that, you know, quote unquote, journalists from the quote unquote fair and balanced
network are literally just participating in like election rallies for the Republican government.
So I guess Craig Laundry going on outsiders doesn't seem quite as bad
by comparison.
Well, he also said that he's not getting paid, he's just in it for the love of it, so I
think it's probably fine if they're not getting...
Just there to say slurs.
Just here. Just here for the slurs.
Where else can you say slurs for free?
So if we are to try to consider the future career of one Ross Cameron, we need only look
ahead to how things have been going for other former outsider's host, friend of the show, Mark
Latham.
Things have been going for Mark Latham as always very well as they usually do.
I think...
Very normally.
Yeah, very normal.
On the previous bonus episode of the show, which you can subscribe to on Patreon.
tho and Vista, I believe we discussed the breaking news that Mark Latham had announced his intent to join Pauline Hanson's One Nation featuring Pauline Hansen.
And since then there's been a bit bit of extra news about it.
I believe we also made some bets.
And I feel like mine's, mine's gonna pay, you know?
Yours is looking good.
Oh, we'll need to check in on it, but I think... So the bet was, we were trying to throw on bets about like how long it was going to to to to to to to the to the to to to the relationship, to the relationship, to the relationship, the relationship, to to the relationship, the relationship, to the relationship, to to the relationship, to to to the relationship, to to to to to to to to to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to be, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the relationship, to, the relationship, the relationship, the relationship, the relationship, the relationship, the relationship, the relationship, the relationship, the relationship, the relationship, the relationship, the relationship, the relationship, the relationship, their the the the tooke, make the tha, make, make, make, make, tooke, make, tooke, tooke, tooke, tooke, tooke, their, to me in on it, but I think, so the bet was, we were trying to throw on bets
about how long it was going to take for the relationship between Mark Latham and Pauline
Hanson to implode? Completely implode. It's on the way.
What was your call like one or two weeks? I said a week. Theo said three months?
I split the difference with one month. I realize that's not really splitting the difference the difference the difference the split the difference with one month.
I realize that's not really splitting the difference, but let's not get into that.
So things are looking pretty good for Lucy.
Looking good.
Because Mark was supposed to announce all of this on television with the leader of his new party.
And I feel like it's the...
I'm trying to remember the thing I was reading about, like, he did like ads for the
Lib Dems and One Nation during a recent election? Was that the deal?
Okay, I have no idea.
I'm trying to... yeah, he did, he
did more than one party's political ads during the last thing. Oh wow, of course he did.
So it all went very well, when with this article from Ten Daily by Chivon Kenner, Pauline
Hanson and Mark Latham were set to appear on Studio 10 on Wednesday morning
following the announcement that the former Labour leader will run for a spot on New South
Wales Legislative Council for One Nation.
But there was a major glitch with the planned interview.
Mark Latham didn't turn up.
Leaving his new party's leader to talk to Studio 10 alone while sitting behind an empty chair.
An unmasked symbol of his absence
so early in his time with One Nation.
Oh.
The pictures are just beautiful.
I love that they didn't just like, they didn't just like, they didn't just like,
they didn't just like, take the chair away either.
Oh, no. That was a very intentional move.
They did it so that they can point out, like at one point the host is just like, look at the empty chair here, as if that was out of their hands.
Where's Mark? Where's Mark then, hey?
Was she pissed off?
I reckon she's furious.
Hard to tell, usually, isn't it?
You never know what's going on with emotions.
She's always in a very heightened emotional state.
So he's on the verge of crying, but I mean, yeah,
considering what we were saying about the relationship
with most one nation members who get elected,
seems to be you run on the one nation ticket
and you get elected, and then in less than one month,
you have a falling out and publicly quit the party. So this is kind of keeping with that th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thin the. I thean thean thii. thi. thi. thi thi thi, you the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You th. You thin, you thin, you thin, you thin, you thin, you the you thean you you you you thin thean you thean you thin thean thean thean thean theee the the the th in less than one month you have a falling out and publicly quit the party.
So this is kind of in keeping with all of that.
I think Pauline's very used to being embarrassed by her candidates at this point.
She loves it.
She lives for it.
It's a kink.
Pauline looking to get cucked on the political stage.
That's right. Pardon me. Pauline said, I am absolutely thrilled to have him on board.
He's going to be a great state leader for the party.
She told Studio 10, but host massive dickhead Joe Hildebrand pointed out the fact that
Latham had already broken a promise by not appearing on the show.
That's the only good thing he's ever done.
But he's not on board, he's not here, Hildebrand said.
He's not even become the New South Wales leader and officially endorsed Kennedy yet,
but he's already broken his first promise at a time when people are losing faith in mainstream
political parties and you're capitalizing on that, your straight talking straight shooter has just lied to our producer. Oh dear.
Angela Bishop was quick to question the integrity of Latham as a state leader
and the strength of the marriage between Latham and Hanson.
Quote, this morning is the time you've chosen to announce yourself as a team.
This is part of that announcement as a team and the team isn't here, Bishop said.
Bishop continued by quizzing Hansen on Latham's the the their toe's their th's them's them's tham's tham's tham's tham's tham isn't here," Bishop said.
Bishop continued by quizzing Hansen on Latham's changing political ideology.
Latham was the Labour leader when the party lost the 2004 federal election to John Howard.
He quit federal politics in 2005.
He's completely switched his ideology from what I believe were closely helped police,
which aligned him made up a lifelong member of the Labour Party and has gone all
the way over to the other side. That's right, he's already, he's joined and left the liberal Democrats in the
space of like less than the year, you know. But yeah, apparently he was just like doing another
interview right outside the same officers. Yeah, and the like, the, um, they had like staff just like running around like crazy looking for him. And he's like, oh, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he, he's the, he's like, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he had like staff just like running around like crazy looking for him
and he's like oh no I wasn't me no no it doesn't ring a bell he's off his
bloody rocker he absolutely is like I don't and I think when we were talking about
this on this previous episode I was saying I don't know if the intention is for him to
to actually like run for a seat or anything or if he's just in a in a leadership role or whatever.
But apparently yeah the the plan is for him to run for like a local government seat
in New South Wales on a platform of stopping immigration.
Right. Of course.. Right. Of course.
Of course.
Can't wait and he's going to be fucking crazy.
Even crazier.
God, can you imagine him being back in Parliament?
Oh God.
Well, he won't be back in Parliament.
He'll be in the New South Wales Legislative Assembly. legislative assembly. And he's probably not even going to get there, let's let's be real.
Although I feel like we keep saying that about things and then they keep happening.
Anything can come true.
It's time of dreams coming true, you know, anything can happen. It's a magical time in the world.
I wish it wouldn't. It's time, it's time of magic, it's time of mystery. It's time. It in the world. I wish it wouldn't. I wish it woes.
It's time, it's a time of magic.
It's time of mystery.
It's a time of the phantasms and ghosts.
Halloween.
Ghost buses.
Oh boy.
Folks, have you seen this, have you heard about this ghost bus?
Have you seen the bus?
You've seen bus memes?
I know you might be thinking perhaps the panel van that Scooby-Doo and the rest of the team
drive around it.
But no, that's not the ghost bus that I'm talking about.
It's also called the Mystery Machine, not the ghost bus, you get a fucking clue. I bet there are are are there are there are are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are there are so there are so the the the the the the the their their the thi thi thi thi- thi-oing thi-u thus. thi-u, thi-u, thoing tho. tho, tho. thus? thus? thi-u. thi-u. thi-u. thi-u. thi-u. thi-u. thi-u. thi-u. thi-u. thi-u. thi-u. thi-u. thi-u. thi-a-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thi-s. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-s. the mystery machine, not the ghost bus, get a fucking clue. I bet there are so many people listening to this that are like, whoa, I'm so glad that
got cleared up.
I've been calling it a ghost bus all these years.
I am 37 years old and every single day in conversation I have been referring to the vehicles
that the Scooby-Doo people drive as the ghost bus. Hey you know those, you know that mystery that mystery that mystery that mystery that mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery mystery that mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery the mystery they people they people the the thi people people people people thi people people thi people thi people thiDoo people drive as the ghost bus. Hey, you know that mystery-solving team in their ghost bus?
Everyone looks at me like I'm a damn fool.
Yeah, I think they're called the ghost buses.
Who you're going to call ghost buses?
No, I was trying to figure out a way how it'd real life to give that a thumbs-down react.
This is a comedy podcast, folks.
It tries to be.
So this has been the latest in the ongoing farce that is Scott Morrison's prime ministership.
I'll be the first to say it. He's a bloody drongo.
Absolute bloody drongo. Absolute galah. Stone the crows.
Reggie think... It's true.
What cunt! It's pretty... It's pretty wild like how quickly people have completely turned on him for this very obviously like manufa suburban dad. It's pretty, it's pretty, it's pretty wild like how quickly people have completely turned on him for this very obviously
like manufactured suburban dad ochre personality thing.
It came out of literally no way.
He's never been this person.
He's never been this person.
He's never been this person.
Good.
I think he's ever been a person.
There was a really good piece on...
From the Monthly?
The Monthly, Sean Kelly?
Yeah.
It was Sean Kelly.
I can't remember what the article was called, but it was like,
the appearing prime minister or something.
Yeah.
And yeah, it was basically about how Scott Morrison's career
has essentially been defined by like refusing to, refusing to
kind of have a personality or details or any of that sort of stuff, like a lot of it's been
about the conspicuous refusal to commit to lots of different things, even from his time,
even from his time way back in first getting into Parliament and even before that, through to now. But he was sort of, I guess the main cut and thrust of the piece
was that he has spent so long very, very assiduously refusing to be painted
into any particular box or defined in any particular way because that means that he
can just move out of that particular phase of his political career and then define it himself once he's
passed that point and that has kind of left him in this shape now where he's a
bit of a no-man and so he's now having to try and very quickly define himself
for the electorate in these very very broad brush strokes and people are not buying it.
So it's a good piece I would recommend checking it out.
It's quite a long read but um...
That article we can think of the name of.
Look it up.
Shut up Ben.
No link.
No link. Jesus Christ.
I'm looking it up, you're a fucking prick.
Leave no trace. Is that what it is?
Looking for Scott Morris.
What the fuck did I think that was?
The rise duck and weave of Australia's no fault Prime Minister from November the 1st 2018 by
Sean Kelly. Please get on that. Interesting piece but yeah it's a particularly
interesting from that whole way that he's kind of declined to be defined as any
particular thing. And there's lots of little interesting exchanges you know know, which are very telling about the
way that he conducts himself now.
So for instance here, you know, as an excerpt from this, it's talking about how during
an election campaign the Australian reported that he had, quote, displayed an almost paranoid
concern about answering even basic questions.
Later as immigration minister under Tony Abbott, this tendency would be seen as a tactic
to preserve secrecy around a controversial area of government policy, but the habit
had been there all along. In government, it simply persisted.
Morrison scrapped the practice of his department announcing the arrival of each boat carrying asylum
seekers. He replaced it with a weekly briefing.
Then he scrapped the weekly briefing in favor of a weekly press release, depriving journalists of
the chance to ask questions. But even when he had been in the habit of
appearing, his refusal to answer questions about what he dubbed quote on water
matters had been notorious. Absurdest exchanges became expected.
And this is one of those journalist. But in terms of making a judgment if those asylum seekers do come to Australia doesn't that mean that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be their, to be a to bea, their, their, to bea, to bea. to be. to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, to, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the of those, journalist. But in terms of making a judgment, if those asylum seekers do come to Australia, doesn't
that mean your turn back that Boat's policy is kind of, and he interrupts to say, well, you've
made a whole bunch of presumptions there on which I'm not about to speculate.
Well, maybe you can clear them up for us, says, well, you're the one making the
presumptions, not me. So, it just like immediately introduces an idea and then says,
well, that wasn't my idea.
It's very interesting, particularly in light of the ghost bus business this week.
So this is from the Sydney Morning Herald by a friend of the show, Michael Koziole.
Says the self-styled Skomow Express might be tearing up the Bruce
Highway this week but for the most part Prime Minister Scott Morrison is touring Queensland
by jet. Pictures of the big bus emblazoned with the PM's face flooded his social media
accounts on Monday at the start of a four-day trek from the Gold Coast to Townsville. However, Fairfax media has confirmed that Mr. Morrison and his staff will travel, the, the, the, the, their, th. their, their, and th. their, th. th. their, th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. the show the show the show th. the show the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thr. throwne, throwne, the, throwne, the, tooomuuuu. throwne, throwne, throwne, throwne, throwne, throwne will travel for most of the 1500 km journey aboard a Royal Australian Air Force VIP jet.
The ghost bus will be left with only its driver on board for several key legs, including
the 400 kilometer plus stretch from the Sunshine Coast to Gladston.
Poor driver.
400 kilometers just driving a fucking big bus alone.
Gigant a billboard.
Some nonsense head on it.
As Theo noted during the week, really shows how much he knows
Queenslanders by driving a massive blue bus across the state.
Oh yeah, it's really right in that color too.
It's perfect.
They love it.
While Mr. Morrison's office stressed that the cost of the
Scomo Express was paid out of Liberal Party coffers, taxpayers will foot the bill for the VIP plane
and hotel costs. All MPs are entitled to travel for legitimate work purposes on the public
purse, though the PM's Queensland visit has been criticized by some observers for resembling
an election campaign.
And this is a thing that I feel like I haven't actually cotton to before.
Even during actual elections, taxpayers cover the travel costs until the parties hold their
official campaign launches, which is why the launches are typically held very late in
the campaign.
I think that had never actually clicked with me why they always hold their campaign launches like two weeks before the actual election.
Huh. Because after that date, they have to start paying for their own travel and shit.
Fucking terrible.
What a good bit.
Good model.
About half a dozen staffers, usually accompany the Prime Minister on a trip, including two media advisors, a policy advisor and executive offer and security. The
overnight traveling allowance that can be claimed by senior staff varies
depending on location. For Brisbane it's $358 a night. That's ridiculous.
Hmm. Queensland is a crucial battleground state in the general election. Isn't it weird
that it be spending so much time there then?
Hmm, happy coincidence.
Just interesting.
Hmm.
Of nine coalition held seats with a marginal less than 2%, five are in the Sunshine State,
Capriconia, Flynn, Ford, Petrie and Dickson,
held by Home Affairs Minister Peter Dunn.
Really ran out of that European flair before the end of my list.
Well, how are you going to do that with Flynn?
Come on, hit me.
I can't. You're all right.
Thank you.
The government's poor showing at the long-win by election to Brisbane's north
saw the coalition's primary vote fall by nearly 9%.
So, um, you know, this is all pretty obviously just a big pork barreling journey to cruise
around through Queensland acting like you're interested and doing everybody a favor.
Getting the image of being a hard-working PM who's, you know, he's getting on a bus every day,
doing a long journey, seeing the countryside, oh, I'm a regular bloke.
I'd travel by bus.
Except for when you're not traveling by bus.
I love these sorts of quotes.
Liberal politicians played down concerns about the party's fortune
in the sunshine state.
Luke Howeth, who holds the marginal seats of Petrie, said,
and Mr. Morrison was hopeful of picking up new seats such as
Lily where Labour's Wayne Swan is retiring.
Quote, he's just up here looking around saying gooday and listening to people.
Oh, fuck off.
I'm certainly not worried.
I'm just getting on with the job.
Oh.
Whatever the fuck that means.
What the fuck does that mean?
Oh. Long-serving Queensland Senator Ian McDonald, massive fucking prick, said he never
despaired about the party's fate in his home state predicting a better outcome than many
expect.
He said Mr. Morrison's interest in Queensland was not a sign of, quote, panic, but one of
pragmatism.
So, um, very, like, yeah, just hugely obvious that, um, that this is nothing other than
just starting an election campaign early.
Asked whether his Queensland tour amounted to a quasi-election campaign, Mr Morrison replied,
this is me doing what I do. I'm out, I'm listening, I'm hearing and I'm doing.
That's what I'm doing as a Prime Minister.
Listening and hearing.
Fantastic.
I love to hear that someone is doing and that that is what they are doing.
Well that's just what they do, they do.
You know, want to know what I do, I do what I do, and what I do, I'm doing.
Do be like that. So, this whole thing thi thi thi thi thi th so this whole thing led to what I'm going to
very comfortably say is one of the most surreal and absurd exchanges that I have
ever seen between a politician and a journalist in my adult life. I don't
think that that's overstating it. I'm gonna
ask you folks, longtime listeners of the show, to cast your mind back to the
very first incident of Boatwatch, which is where I'm just imagining the sting, it's fine.
I just feel like a proper podcast we would have been able to at least have a little taste of the sting it's fine. I just feel like if we're a proper podcast we would have
been able to at least have a little taste of the scene. Folks just fill in the
gap with your imagination. Hummet. You think we can just afford
stings wherever we want. Is that what you mean? Not the movie June for heaven's
sake. Well they could only afford one sting, couldn't they?
Sting. Sting, couldn't they? Stang, Sting.
Sting.
Um, Jesus Christ.
Look, anyway, I'm having a great time over here.
You are, I'm grateful, ungrateful, sunspitches.
But look, folks, look folks, if, if you and my petty co-hosts can cast your minds back to
the very first incident of boat watch.
D-da-da-da-da-da-da.
Wow. Thanks. He did all that work to cure it up.
So you just a shot of it out of his tiny little storage box.
That's right.
The little velvet lined, I should say, wooden box in which we keep the stings.
I got out my little key and opened my tiny cyber box.
And then Theo has kicked the door open and he has pulled out his penis and he is pissed directly into the box. I know and I love that box.
Well it's full of piss now isn't it? It is. It's not full.
Theo's bladder capacity is about 45 milliliter so it's a little bit but it's enough to ruin the
velvet. That YPs every 20 minutes. He's like a little bird.
Anyway, Cast Your Wines back to Boat Watch folks, in which we first introduced the
mayor of Queensland City, Logan.
Am I correct?
Logan?
That's correct.
It's a city, yep.
Okay, cool.
Oh, thank God.
Who had illegally accepted a boat? And he was forced into a truly absurd exchange
where he was asked point-blank over and over again by the same journalist in
his view whether or not he had just improperly received a luxury boat and he kept
saying well that's what we're here to find out.
I'll let you know when I see it in the news or whatever. And it was
extremely good. But I think we've found a pretty worthy successor to that
interview. And much like the original boat watch segment, I would like Ben and
Theo to act out this interview for us. I would like them to dramatize this interview for us.
So fellas, what do you think? Are you, um, are you both keen to lay this on for us. I would like them to dramatize this interview for us.
So fellas, what do you think? Are you both keen to lay this on our listeners? I've been doing vocal warm-ups. Excellent. My vocals are never warm, but that's
I think part of the charm. Ice cold, brittle vocals.
Fighty. Well that case folks, I introduced to you a one-act play. I'm pulling back the curtains.
It's a very squeaky, squeaky wheel thing that I'm winding over on the side.
Now this is very different to when we normally pull back the curtain.
Yes, no, that's a different set of curtains. This is more of a performative pulling back of the curtains.
And I introduced to you a single act play starring Dear Sweet, Benjamin McLea as Prime Minister
of Australia, Scott Morrison, and Beautiful Theo as journalist.
fellas, take it away.
All right, I feel like that Lily's been thoroughly gilded, but let's go.
Prime Minister, you're on the bus tour.
Why are you flying?
Well, the bus is going all the way up to Rocky, and that's where it was always planning to
go.
I mean, it's a big state, and I need to cover as much of it in four days as I can.
So we were never planning to take that last leg up to Townsville by plane because that was the most effective way to get there and to spend the most time there with people on the ground.
I mean, these visits aren't about sitting on a bus.
They're about actually engaging with small businesses and our supporters and the people of Queensland
and listening to them. Then why have the bus?
the bus to Rockhampton from here? Yes, the bus will be going to Rock Hampton from here.
That's right.
With you on it?
I've got to get there earlier than the bus tonight.
So you'll be flying to Rockhampton.
I'll get into Rockhampton and, and I've got a program tonight in Rockhampton,
and the bus can't get me quick enough so I'll be to fly to fly to fly to fly to fly to fly to fly to Rockhampton and the bus will catch up with you and then you'll fly
onto Townsville? I'll be flying on to Townsville and your point is what?
I'm just interested in the point of the bus if you're not on it.
I am on it, I just got off it.
But not on to Rockhampton or Townsville.
Yeah, well it's a practical thing. I want to spend as much time on the ground with Queenslanders and when I can be on the bus and go from place to place on the bus, that's great. But I'm not
going to sacrifice time with Queenslanders, listening to them and hearing them and talking
to them about what's important to them just to satisfy the media's interest in the time table for the bus..... I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, it. I, it. I, it. I, it. I, it. I, it. I, it. I, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th. I th th th th to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the bus, the bus, the bus, the bus, the bus, the bus, the bus, the bus, the bus, the bus, the the bus, the the the the the bus, the the the bus, the the the bus, the the tothis bus with an eight foot tall picture of my head on the
side of it.
This gigantic bus that we've hired for attention that you're paying so much attention to, please
stop paying attention to the huge bus.
Why you guys keep asking about the bus?
Please stop looking at the thing I literally got because it's eye-catching. Well, but like, but they, yeah, they have like genuinely fashioned the entire thing as,
the Prime Minister on, they named it the Scomo Express.
Oh boy.
More like, touring all the way up the country.
The no-sco Express, because he's not on it.
Hey.
Oh, nice.
Is that not gonna...
I'm sure Is that not going to... All right. I'm not sure on that.
Full credit to this, well almost full credit. So I'm not sure who the first two
questions were from, but everything after then while I have the bus was ABC
Sunshine Coast reporter, Owen Jacques, Jacques, Jack's, I'm not sure how fancily
pronounces his surname, but he just really went for it.
And there is video of it if you go to his Twitter and it's very, very satisfying.
So good, so good.
Then why have the bus?
Well, I need the bus to get around, but you're not on the bus.
I can't, I was just on the bus.
Will you be taking the bus to Rockhampton from here? Yes, the bus the bus the bus th. Yes. It th. It th. It that. It that. It that. It, that. It, that. It, that's. that's. that's, that's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thus, thus, tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. to. to. to. to. to. to. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th. th the bus to rock outed from here? Yes, the bus will be going to rock out from here, that's right.
I think just with the confidence of someone who thinks that they've like crafted a perfect
logic position.
Yep, yep.
This logic is impossible to fit to defeat and they go, but you're not on the bus right.
Fuck. Oh, it's so fucking dumb. And like, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, obviously, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that, but, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. thi. the th. thi. th. thi. that, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, the the the, right? Fuck! Fuck!
It's so fucking dumb. And like, obviously the beef that people have with this
is that it's just blatant election hearing.
It's just blatant, like him cruising around Queensland
and announcing like little pork barreling measures,
six months out from what will probably be the election.
Um, hopefully it's not that long, probably four months out from an election.
And doing it in a fucking giant bus and blazing with his face.
He's doing all of his little social media videos direct from the bus.
He has to be sitting on the bus holding a little crate of strawberries like a fucking
moron. And he, and then when he's actually interiated about, like, well, why are people paying all this money for you to fly around in private jets if you have this fucking bus for this specific thing.
And he's like, why is everybody so interested in the bus?
I think the logical way this is going to end is Bill Shorten doing a gigantic, like 42-day greyhound
bus tour.
Just sitting on the bus in silence for like days at a time.
Too sheepish to introduce himself to voters when he actually gets into towns.
But clearly having a great time.
Oh, he loves it.
Writing down all the different types of trains he's seen on the way up there. Hey can I actually can I give a special fuck you this week to
Bill Shorten? What for? What do you think? Well um super shitty New South Wales leader
of the opposition Luke Foley or as I called him in the group chat today, puke foolie. Thank you Lucy.
That's good. It's a good one. Theo acting like his was better. What was yours?
No we don't need to go into that. Say it. Theo went for Luke Gropey.
It didn't track at all.
I mean, very literally it describes what he did.
It doesn't make a lot of sense.
It doesn't really rhyme.
It doesn't...
Anyway, just want to say, as I am a lawyer, you can't be sued for defamation if it's on a podcast.
Really?
Yes. I've studied law, that's the true. So we're fine. We can say that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi. thi's thi's th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. thooooooo. th. th.. I've studied law, that's the truth. So we're fine. We can say
that Luke Foley sexually assaulted a journalist at a function, but no one else can.
Hmm. So yeah, big piece of shit Luke Foley, who we all already knew was a piece of shit due
to his fucking abysmal leadership of New South Wales labor, when Mike Baird was the liberal
premier of New South Wales and said, we're gonna ban greyhound racing after this horrifying expose of the tens of thousands of greyhounds that get turned into
mulch every year because of the fucking horrible racing industry. Luke Foley was there to say,
no, you shouldn't do that. You should let them kill the dogs. He was, I wonder where I knew
his name from. Yep, he fucking sucks. He was also the one who,the one who, we talked about him on a previous
episode when he was doing his whole white flight bit. White flight from New South Wales suburbs
because there's too many brown people moving in. And lots of people said, hey, do you have any
idea where the term white flight comes from? He was like, let's not get into that.
So just a huge piece of shit all round. He's been absolutely terrible. Several weeks ago
there was a, I think, during Parliament, or during question time or whatever in local, state
parliament. Somebody from the Liberal Party, the governing Liberal Party,
basically made a suggestion that they would air accusations of sexual harassment
against Luke Foley. And this caused Luke Foley to emulate also a big piece of
shit Barnaby Joyce in his approach in which he freaked out and started pointing
his finger at people across the chamber and saying, oh, is that the way you want to play it?
Then I'll reveal all of your secrets and your secrets and your secrets because everyone
else has things that could get them fired for this shit, which I think we can all agree
is like a pretty, pretty big leap away from saying saying you'll find I have not sexually
assaulted anyone. Yes. It's quite different in fact to say like oh yeah well
you've all sexually assaulted someone too as far as bad looks go. So today there was an
announcement from ABC News and it was from the journalist that he had allegedly sexually
assaulted. So apparently this is one of those things that was just an open
secret in New South Wales Parliament that Luke Foley had several years ago
drunkenly sexually assaulted this reporter at a Christmas party.
She had opted to not make any
formal complaints and not take it anywhere through her work, which is her
choice, because she I think quite rightly said, hey you know what tends to
happen to women who publicize their issues with this stuff, they get fucking
crucified. And she's right. So she finally made a public statement
today explaining what he had done, which was gross. He came up to her at a Christmas party and
shoved his hand down and opening in the back of her dress into her underpants.
Yuck. And grabbed her ass.
And he has made like two phone calls to her since then.
One saying how sorry he was and that he was going to resign,
and then another one a few days later saying he was still very sorry,
but he wasn't going to resign.
Oh, cool.
Oh, I've received legal advice saying that I shouldn't resign, he said.
Oh, yeah, sure.
So she basically came out with this and said, look, this is all been going around
and we want to, I want to just explain this thing and move the fuck on with my life.
Again, very reasonable. Luke Foley's reaction to this was to call a press conference at 530 tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. tod. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he heat he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he move the fuck on with my life again very reasonable. Luke Folly's
reaction to this was to call a press conference at 530 today that he would
make an announcement about his future. All of the reports coming out of the
New South Wales Labour Party were that he was going to resign and
instead he announced that he was going to resign but also that she was a big
lying bitch and he was going to sue her. So massive piece of shit. this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th. th. th. th. th. th. th. things. things. things. things. things. things. things things things things things things thi things things thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi was a big lying bitch and he was going to sue her.
So massive piece of shit. Massive piece of shit right to the end.
Yeah, huge piece of dog shit and a whole bunch of journalists bailed Bill Shorden up about
this today and said so here's the deal what do you think and he said I am not going to comment on this. Oh fuck off. Yeah he was just like oh this today and said so here's the deal what do you think and he said I am
not going to comment on this yeah fuck off yeah it was just like oh this has
only just come out in the news and I haven't had a chance to read this
statement so I'm not going to comment on it what horse shit bullshit
which like I saw somebody on Twitter saying like man any one of
those journalists should have just given him their fucking phone with the statement on it and said, we'll wait 40 seconds
for you to read this thing.
So, you know, it's just that classic Bill Shorten lack of intestinal fortitude and ability
to just say what I think we would all like somebody who's from the I guess you know
nominatively left-leaning party in Australia wouldn't it be nice if he said
hey if he did sexually assault this reporter he needs to fucking resign now
there is no place to that in the Labor Party
the stance on something imagine but instead I'm sure Bill Shorten was just way the fuck too scared of having anyone the labor party go oh no you the the th in the Labour Party. Imagine, but instead I'm sure Bill Shorten was just
way the fuck too scared of having anyone the Labour Party go, oh no, you didn't display
loyalty to the death to some fucking member of the Labour Party.
And that's why Bill Shorten's getting a big, Buntavist of Fuck You this week.
Yeah, fuck you Bill. Should we take a few questions for the old mail bag before we get out here?
We got time for a couple of questions?
Yeah, we got.
Anyway, up to several minutes.
Six in fact.
Oh.
Ooh.
Hammer I'm out. Dear sweet friend of the show, Lydia asks,
how many tens have Lucy hanged?
Shaka emoji, shaka emoji.
Shaka emoji.
In fact, I've hanged 11.
I've sometimes hanged 12.
Oh.
It's unclear to me what it means, but I know it's a surf thing.
I feel like hanging 11 is with your penis and hanging 12 must be with your breasts.
All right. I mean that that'd be 13, right? No, well you're not doing with those things at the same time.
13 is all of them. I see, I see. Right. That means all. In answer to that question, no, I will, I will simply
never surf. Have you, like, have you gone swimming at least? Do you get in the water?
Yeah, I go to the beach. The beach is super nice. It's very nice here. I'm going to become
an outdoors person. Oh, hell yeah. We actually have a lot of Hawaii specific questions
for Lucy here. Oh, get him out.
A friend of the show, Single Payer Sonic Mpreg asks.
Did Lucy make her boyfriend a democracy sausage when he voted?
I was going to do that.
That would have been so nice.
No, I'm an asshole. I don't do nice things for my boyfriend.
Did they sell normal sausages over there? No, there was nothing.
We went to a school, there was like nothing there.
There was like no signs, there was no food.
It was garbage.
Simply garbage.
Don't wonder the democracy's just gone to shit here.
Wow.
Politics, baby.
Lover of the show, Travis Jordan, asks, how is your new spam-based diet treating you?
It's delicious.
Have you actually been hooking into the spam?
I've been hooking it to the spam.
I'm very non-vegetarian now.
The spam is delicious.
It's like spam is fucking immune to heat.
You can put spam in a frying pan on the highest possible heat and lean on it for like five minutes.
It just crisps on the outside.
So at McDonald's for breakfast you can get a fried spam plate with rice and scrambled
eggs and fried spam and soy sauce.
It's delicious.
Fuck.
I got some Korean army stew a little while ago.
What the fuck is that?
So, um, you know how obviously Korea would
have had a big American military presence for quite a while due to the old
Korean War? So spam? So spam involved? Yeah so of the of the like Korean hot pot
style things where they bring out a big like soup base over a gas hot plate with a whole much stuff in it? Yeah me and I only got the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they bring out a big like soup base over a gas hot plate with a whole bunch of stuff in it.
Yeah, me and I got the Korean Army steward a place a while ago and it has just like
sliced up hot dogs and chunks of spam in it.
Sounds kind of good. Yeah, I was I was eating it and I was like cool. I kind of wish I got the pork belly one.
Yeah. But you know, it's my life. Uh, yeah. Yeah. I was eating it and I was like, cool, I kind of wish I got the pork belly one.
Yeah.
But you know, it's my life.
Beautiful friend of the show, a big bag of keys asks, well says, last time I was in Hawaii,
I was swimming at the beach and a big turtle just came right up. It was so cool.
Anyway, do you reckon Latham gets kicked out of One Nation or gets mad and leaves?
I reckon he gets mad and leaves.
Yeah.
I reckon he's going to lose his mind at something.
Like, the fact that he's not the grand leader.
Yeah, I reckon playing second fiddle to Pauline is really going to do a number on him.
Yeah, he's going to crack the shit to Pauline's incompetence because he's going to try and turn the party into an organized
fighting machine based on 17th century political tactics and then she's just
going to like not do any of the things that he wants and then she's going to get pissy when he gets busy about it and then he's going to say fuck his and then he's going to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the to the the the the to the the to the the the the the the the th. He's the the the the the the the the the the the th is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. the they th. th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi. He's try. He's try. He's try. He's try. Hea. He's try. Hea. He's try. He's try. He's try try try. And then he's going to leave. And then he's going to join the Hunters and Fishers party.
Shooters and Fishers, I should say.
Hmm.
He's just going to exhaust all of the parties.
He'll just go through a more motor enthusiast.
Shooters and fishes.
Sustainable Australia. Smith's one. The Shoots, eats and leaves party. Oh boy. Oh Theo, you are a card. I even got
that wrong. It should be the eats, roots and leaves. Yeah. Oh, I've heard a different version.
Same thing, same concept, same general idea. Your lifestyle. That's the opposite of what you've done. That's absolutely the opposite of what I've done.
That's absolutely the opposite of what I've done. You haven't eaten, you haven't rooted and you're still there.
I'm still here.
Uh, a friend of the show. Oh, wife of the show, sorry.
Mmm. Come everybody. Get some kisses. Wow sorry. Mmm, mm-hmm. Mmm, mm-hmm. Wow.
Theo, do a kiss.
Oh, that's very gentle.
That's very gentle.
That's adorable.
That's good.
Wife of the show, Charlie Evans asks,
would you pay my petrol money
to telgate Scummo's bus around the country, playing Venger,
thin' thinn't, annoyingly loud level. He's never in it. We wouldn't really be getting a return on. You'd just be harassing that poor bus driver. Yeah. Poor worker, just trying to get his, get
his paycheck and you're out there blasting Venga Boys at him. He's got to unionize.
If that bus driver's listening, he needs to just go on strike. I'll, I'd maybe modify the deal. I will pay you to tailgate Scomo, and I don't mean in a car.
I mean physically, wherever he's walking, if you're like six inches behind him in your car,
that would be amazing. I'd pay for him.
Might get shot, but...
Through the halls of Parliament, driving your, I assume, mid-90s Day Wu, uh, right up there that I support. I'll pay for your petrol money
and you can get a can of solo every time you fill up.
Ooh! I'll buy your McDonald's Sunday. I'll buy your big mack meal.
You can have whatever you want from McDonald's, in fact. Not all of us are that rich,
so maybe don't show me up like that.
There you go. I reckon
that's probably going to do us for this week folks. Thank you for joining us.
As always you can find an extra episode every week for only five American
dollars a month which is what Lucy's handling. About 35 Australian dollars
as I've understood with changing my money.
Elder and I would try to figure out like um Singapore. $55 Australian dollars as I've understood with changing my money.
Elder and I were trying to figure out like Singapore dollars today and then she looked
at the conversion and it's like 99.9999999 equals one Australian dollar.
Oh cool.
That's, hell yeah.
Pretty spot on. Anyway, five US dollars will get you an extra episode every week.
You can head on over to patron.com
Buntavista for that one. So, you know, thanks. Anything?
We've got a crime pass, Ben. The crime pass is that anyone, if they want, can tailgate
Scott Morrison, six inches behind him on your car just
fucking riding his Achilles tendons. If his protective services guys look like
they're going to shoot you, take out the crime pass from your from your like
breast pocket reach into your breast pocket like very suddenly for the
for the crime pass. I know this isn't particularly environmentally friendly
but I do recommend that you print it out on a piece of paper because it's going to
look way more formal. You could have doctored something that was on your phone
but a printed document has a little more authenticity to it.
Yeah that's nice. You're gonna need that because there might well be blood
getting on it. Or if you get pushed into a pool in some sort of hilarious scene.
You don't want to lose your crime bars.
Is there a fountain you can get pushed into a Parliament House?
Well, they could push you into Lake Burley Griffin.
So yeah, laminate that bad boy.
Laminate it.
So till next week, folks.
Thanks very much. And we're finally letting you out of the thatchchchatchchatchchatchatchatchatchatchatchatchatch, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, tho, tho, the, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And, thu. And, thu. And, the, the, thean, thooooooooooooooooooooom. thu. thoooooooooooooooom. And, the, thu, th letting you out of the thatch tart now.
We're chiseling apart the glued together beaded curtains and you were finally able to go.
Lucy standing right outside she's offering you a gross fish with its guts hanging out.
Why am I doing?
How fucking satisfying would it be to kick open that glued together beaded curtain. Does the glue snap in
little bits it be fucking... You want to give it the old two-footed wrestling
drop kick? Oh, the dream. The dream. And look just before we go, Theo, what would
you like to say to the people? I'm sorry for dropping out midway through this
episode? Oh you still here though episode. Oh you're still here though.
I mean you were here emotionally.
I was actually I was trying to make like an F-sharp program compile
which involves hitting shift F5 and I did that in the main window which immediately did a full refresh of the page.
So I am sorry for that and probably also for not paying full
attention to the show. No no let let us all apologize to you for distracting you
from the program you're trying to get running. So very sorry. Yeah F sharp's a
functional programming language right? That's right it's for nerds. Yeah you're doing some hardcore nerd shit. I'm not smart enough for that I can't think in recursion. My brain just doesn't do it. Oh no no I'm like. I'm like. I'm like there. I'm like there. I'm like there. I I'm like there. I there. I there. I there. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. There's. I'm. I'm. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. enough for that. I can't think in recursion. My brain just doesn't do it.
Oh, no, no, I'm like, there's there's one thing that's just like doing a loop and it's impossible.
So, oh cool. Hmm. Anyway, is there something I should be sorry for Andrew apart from all of that?
No, that's enough. I didn't say that you had to apologize for something. You abolished you, you immediately brought this up. I apologize to Theo, that's
true, for distracting him from his program. And that's it folks. We'll see you
next week.
Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye.
Bye. Bye. Hi. you