Boonta Vista - EPISODE 90: Mark Latham Presents: Racist Gattaca

Episode Date: March 18, 2019

Step into the Big Top and join Andrew, Lucy and Ben as we talk about old timey money, Warnie's Instagram concerns, Mark Latham's eugenics proposal and a very long and unfortunate letter from a listener. *** Support our show and get exclusive bonus episodes by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista *** Merchandise available at: boontavista.com/merchandise *** Twitter: twitter.com/boontavista iTunes: tinyurl.com/y8d5aenm Stitcher: www.stitcher.com/s?fid=144888&refid=stpr Pocket Casts: pca.st/SPZB RSS: tinyurl.com/kq84ddb

Welcome to Buente Vista episode 90. Step right up. You're out the front of a big tent. It's red and white striped. I'm wearing a top hat. One of the red coats with the long tails. I've got a real P.T. Barnum thing going. And I want you to come in here. It's red and white striped. I'm wearing a top hat. One of the red coats with the long tails. I've got a real PT Barnum thing going and I want you to come in here to see the man with the freakyest mullet of all. That's right, I'm talking about Ben. Wow. Hey, it's just Ben de muley from his cage. He's just standing here. Hey guys. Everyone that rocks up. How are you guys? That's pretty cool. It's nice to everyone that rocks up. What's, how are, how are you, you guys, you're at the, that's pretty cool. It's nice to see you. Ben's in a cage, the bottom is like strewn with straw, he is sitting on a stool in the corner, legs crossed, scrolling on his phone. Yep. And every now

and then I'll throw up a shocker as I'm contractually obliged to do once every when he's twenty seven minutes. The crowd gasps and recoils. Children have their eyes shielded by their mothers. Oh, grow then vomit. Don't look at them. You'll turn out like that. My God.

Never smoke weed. And over here, if you look, you'll see the bearded lady with no beard. Lucy. Wow that's a that's a thing that you just said about me. Mm-hmm. Oh you're denying that you don't have a beard or what? Fucking shitty circus. It's well it's too late you're in the tent and I've got your money. That's two levels of freakishness though. You've already paid no refunds in this tent. I've already got your two the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the' the' the' that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the' thee' the' that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's s no refunds in this tent. I've already got your two bits your tuppence it's another kind of old money Ben everyone I can think of is a real currency that's currently in use. Uh oh. It's not like a shilling or some shit. Every American money's. That's a good one. No one in the world is using farthings at the moment right. Sure. Sure. Sounds right to me. Talents. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th th the thi. It's thi. the thi. the thi. the the the thi the the thi. thi. thi. thi. It's thi. That's a good one. No one in the world is using

farthings at the moment, right? Sure. Sounds right to me. Talents? What the fuck is a talent? That was like a, one of the currencies they mentioned in the Bible. Huh. While we're here I would like to recommend a television show? Wow. Were you being paid for this? Nope. Called Dairy Girls. It's very funny. What the fuck? What? Sorry, no, this isn't because of what you were saying.

Something related. Uh, some of the varieties say that the talent typically weighed about 33 kilograms. Damn! Excuse me! That can't be true. Oh, money. Oh, it was a unit of mass. Uh, not a... Boy. Don't you have egg on your face. In ancient Greece, one talent was 26 kilograms of silver. So it was a form of currency, but it was not a coin.

Yeah, but 26 kilograms of silver is nothing a sneeze at. Hey, bra, I'm just got to pay for my breakfast with this. Drop it, go straight through the counter. I'm of course imagining a singular hunk of silver. Yeah, I think it had to be in a chunk, surely. That'd be like the equivalent of you paying for like a $5 drink with five cent pieces. Making it rain at the strip club and like crushing somebody's skull. Yelling out, this is all 26 kilos. It's a talent baby!

Making it rain, but you're doing like the shot pudding, the shot putting motion. And you're rotating your whole hip and shoulder through there. Oh dear, oh dear. Well, there you go folks. Talents. We've all worked some sort of program. Oh, I was just saying that folks should watch the, thank, the the the the thuke, like, th, th, th, like, like, that, th, like, like, like, that, that, like, that, that, like, that, that, like, like, that, like, like, like, like, that, like, like, like that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, like, like, like, like, that, like, like, like, like, that. I'm sorry, I interrupted you being a shill for some sort of program.

I was just saying that folks should watch the Netflix series Dairy Girls, which is, I believe, set in the early 1990s, much like episode 90, you know what I'm saying? And it's in Ireland during the Troubles. I needed subtitles. I needed some subtitles, I will admit. Well, and this was what made me think of this, is that when they, when there's like a bunch of, like marches and demonstrations going in their town, this family says, oh, we've got to get away, you know, before all the riots and she'd kick off. And so they go to the countryside, and the mother the mother the mother the mother the mother the mother threme the mother threatrenenenenenene thir thir thir thir thriuuuu an thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thirty thout. I their thout. I thrials thrials thout. I thout. I their thout. I the the the the the thribes. I thout. I thout. I thout. I thout. I thout. I thout. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the toe the the toe toe the the the the throu the the throwne oh we've got to we've got to get away, you know, before all the riots and she'd kick off. And so they go to the countryside and the mother is freaking out because she's, she left her pound purse! She kept yelling and I was

like, what the fuck is this lady saying? And at some point it becomes clear that she's saying that she has a pound purse and a sterling purse. And I was like, of course. Pounds and sterling. The pussy and the ass. Sure. Sure. Wow. I get it.

I just don't know if the way that you live your life is truly a reflection of the way that everybody else lives their. Probably not. This is just living in the moment, baby. My God. Good show. My God. Great show. Definitely watch that. I'm happy to be a shill for that one as well. It's wonderful. Yes, only six episodes of it out there, but hopefully they'll sling us some more content, you know what I'm saying? Chuck us those episodes, Netflix are big. Woo! Now speaking of content. There's a bunch of places you can get it.

Online if you will, a bunch of websites that like to dole it out, like slop to us, like the pigs that we are, eating it up from the troffs that are smart, I'm doing air quotes around smart, smart phones. Except, who looked silly this week when a bunch of those services went down unexpectedly apparently which I missed because I don't really use Facebook. Yeah I didn't have any problems today. Yeah wasn't really an issue for me. I do use Google Drive to like store stuff but I'm not retrieving things from it like

80 times a day. Apparently there were outages from Gmail, Google Drive, Facebook, and all those boomer housewives were freaking out. As you would be. What are you going to do when you can't comment on a story about vaccinations or... Exactly. How am I supposed to tell people that I don't want my children copying autism? Mm-hmm. The injection the doctor's trying to give him, you know. And of course there is one other service that was affected that went down. And that service was Instagram. And as we know, this disproportionately affects one man who is close to our hearts.

That's right, folks. Shane, Warren, Warren, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Warren, where the fuck? Where is Shane Warren? Trying to DM some hoes, go, Shane Warn. Taping some picks. Folks, I'm talking about the world wide web of where the fuck is Shane Warren. Can we just dial it back just a little bit here? Yeah. Now I hate to peel the curtains back. You know that I hate that. But I'm going to.

Yeah. I've got one half the curtains in one hand and I've got the other half in the other. And like the part from the Lord of the Rings, the the the the the the the two the the the two the the the the the the the to the to the to to to to the to the to the to the to the to the toe, toe, toe, toe, toeck is in toe, toeckets, toecketshuecketshuecketshueck is is toe, toe, toe, their is, toe, the the the theahaqe, the, the, the, the, the, the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the, and the their their the, and their the the, and the the theauuuxtaughe, and thea, their their thea'ereruuuxtaughe, their thea, Rings, the two towers, where Aragon burst through the doors of Edoras, the home of King Theodred of Rohan, and it's real badass. Actually, there might be the doors of Helm Deep. I'm not sure. It's one of the two. He throws them open. That's what I'm doing with these curtains and I look really cool doing it. And I stride in in slow motion. Yeah. And I say, usually when you do that, you have the music playing behind you. That had like the distinct quality of if you've ever been to a dawn service or it's one trumpet doing the last post. Mm-hmm. All the silences in there that are really make you ruminate on what's going on. That's what that felt like just then. It seems like a departure from your normal method. Are you saying that the Shane one theme was too loud?

No, we didn't get the Shane one. Oh, we just got the punctuation. See that was going to be my follow-up question was, were you listening to it, but it wasn't coming into our audio? Apparently that is the case. So we just got... It's got me singing. Yeah, the solo version of it. So you got the acapell track. So, Acapella generally indicates that there's like a group of people from providing the instrumentation, whereas we really just got the lyrics and nothing else. It sounded great. That's a tree. tha tha tha tha tha that's that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. thea the. the. the. thea thea. thea. the the the the the the throooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Soe. Soe. that's and nothing else. It sounded great. That's a treat.

It was a treat for you. Well, there's my question answered. I'm going to walk over to one side of the room, grab one half the curtains, drag it back over. You have to understand, I threw them apart very dramatically, and they've slid and slid along the rails a little bit further than I can get with both arms outstretched Reach outing tip-toes And I'm going over the other side of the room and Closing them back over and the curtains are closed you can't peek behind there

Everything's back to normal. Don't look behind there. Hmm. We're done So if you're wondering to yourself where in the wide world of whatever is Shane Warren? The answer is, he's being very concerned about Instagram. Shane Warren has posted a tweet to his 3.43 million followers. Oh wow! Damn! That can't be true. How did it is those are bots you reckon? Powerful! He's got to have paid for those for sure. Well, think about it, you know, cricket, cricket's a pretty international sport. People in more than one country like it. If it was like, if it was a rugby league player with like two or three million followers, I'd be like,

fuck off. But Shane Warren, he's a man who transcends boundaries, you know, the onlyends borders. He, the only boundaries he transcends is women's personal space. Correct. That's pretty good. It was nice. I liked it. Thank you. I mean, you could have indicated that with laughter. It would have been easier, but that, yeah. My microphone was muted. I was laughing uproariously. No, no, no, it's fine. I don't that. I that. I that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. thee. th. the thea. the the the the the the the the the the the the thea. the the the the only only only thea. the., no, it's fine. I don't need that sort of positive feedback anyway. I feel containing myself, but go on. So Shane has posted a tweet to his 3.43 million followers

saying, anyone know what's up with Instagram? Help! Capital letters. Capital letters needed. Poor horny, warny, just doesn't even know that you can just look at pictures of like what like clearly Shane Warns tastes run to just just half naked bikini-clad women on Instagram does he know that you can find not only other photos of women in bikinis but women out of their bikinis I don't think that would do

anything for him like I think he's do you think he craves their bikinis. I don't think that would do anything for him. Do you think he craves the interaction with a real person? He craves the interaction. I don't think he even wants to have sex necessarily. I think what he wants is he wants to be flirty, as his sexting scandal that we all recall from the five- We all know in love. You know, it's, for him it's the the the the the thrill, it's the the the thrill, it's the thrill, it's the the thrill, it's the the the thrill, it's the the the thrill, it's the the thrill, it's the the the thrill, it's the the the th, it's the, it's him it's the thrill of the chase. I don't

think he is, he's not you know staring at half-naked ladies with his eyes popping out of his head like a cartoon dog. He wants that titillating conversation. He's sort of like James Bond in that regard. It's true. And to be fair to Shane Warren, if you are liking the photos of say, you know, Instagram influencer model type women and they are to look at your profile and notice that say you have 3.43 million Twitter followers, you might not list that on your Instagram profile, but you know, he's verified, he's a celib. I'm not sure how many Instagram followers, Shane Warnt has. I'm guessing it's a reasonable amount.

But, you know, the types of ladies whose things that he's faving, it's entirely possible that they would be intrigued and tempted by the adjacent fame of the man himself. You know? Hmm. True. You're true. Possibility. I mean, look, it's working for him. Clearly.

935,000 Instagram followers. That's a lot. I think I have about 75. Yeah. That's a lot. I think I have about 75. Yeah, it's a lot. And it's extremely well documented that if you are to look through the posts that Shane Warren likes, they are just exclusively big, tittied blonde ladies and bikinis. That's pretty much it.

I think he's got like a kind of like... That's what men in the 90s were into, right? Like now, if you, you're a horny person, you go on the internet and you can look at every single kind of porn that you've ever imagined. That's so true. Like literally anything, there are millions of videos. There's like every kind of incest. There's like Like literally anything, there are millions of videos professionally made. There's like, stepdad, there's like real incest. Mostly incest.

And they just keep making them. And it's... It's largely free. It's largely free. But in the 90s, the hornest thing you could see was a like, you know when you've got the exact side profile of a topless woman where if she had rotated an eighth of a degree more you'd be able to see a nipple? But you can't because he hasn't rotated that eighth degree.

That is the horniest image you could possibly see. You would have one of those on the wall of a mechanics garage and that would be like the best thing that happened you in a year. Yeah, I think that's about right. And I think that's where his mindset is at. The horny's thing you could see was 1990s Pamela Anderson in a bikini flaunting her new tattoo of barbed wire. Did you get that to commemorate doing the film barbed wire? She did. Wow Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi that thi. thi. Oh, thi. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi wire? She did. Wow. She sure did. I've been meaning to re-watch that movie. Oh don't. I have not seen it since the 90s. It's not good. I don't think I've seen it. Let's let's all watch this film. It sounds good. Oh, should we do a horny ripoff of Casablanca? You watch Casablanca and then you watch

something horny. Just get the best of both worlds, not the worst of both worlds. I'd rather split screen watch Casablanca and a porno. That sounds like art to me. I would rather do that I would rather do that than just watch Casablanca. Casablanca is one of the fucking funniest movies in the world. I just re-watched it for like the 25th time, two nights ago. No Movie makes me as happy as Casablanca. If you're listening to this and you've never seen it because you're like, ah, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it,

It is a fucking amazingly funny movie. Like one in every five lines in that movie is laugh out loud funny. All the performances are amazing. It was one of the first movies in Hollywood to take an explicitly anti-Nazi stance because this was released in 1941, when America was still undecided about the war, thanks America. Like a large portion of the actors in the film were genuine refugees from the war. There's a lot of people that had literally one of the actors in it had escaped a concentration camp

and ended up playing a Nazi in the film, which is kind of ironic, but there are like so many amazing, beautiful things about that movie that make it genuinely perfect. Please watch that movie. It sounds like one of Hollywood's tyfefewfewfewfest, the the the the the the the the the the the thest, thest, thest, thest, the, the, the, thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thoom-a, tho-a, tho-a, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, than, than, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, th it genuinely perfect, please watch that movie. It sounds like one of Hollywood's typical leftist S. J. W. Fests, am I right, Lucy? That does. Not for me. Yeah, they definitely would have made a lot of like YouTube videos about how pandering George Soros money funding it. Oh, dear. But what's that movie? If you're listening to it and you haven't seen, please, please watch this movie. If you're listening to it and you haven't seen it, please, please watch this movie. Thank you. So I know what you're thinking.

Buntavista, I thought you guys talked about politics and the news, serious stuff. And here you are discussing Shane Warns' semi as he clicks through, click through Instagram, like things. It's important, but now we're going to pivot. We're going to bring you the real news. That's right, folks. I'm talking about, oh wait, see, now I'm really worried that this audio isn't going to come through to you guys. I'm going to play. Oh, you're going to play.

Well, we've discussed it. Just describe it when I say, Eugenics Watch! Mm-hmm. Well, when you say you guys, are you asking the audience to imagine as well? Because I don't know if they're going to be hearing this. No, I'm going to have to put it in in post. Well, now I'm going to look like a fool for talking about this. in there. Leave it all in. It's part of the magic. It's part of the magic, folks. If you could add the noise of some beautiful chimes right now. We'll do it but I won't be happy about it. You promise me you put those in? Sounds pleasant. That's fine. Anyways. That's right folks. We're gonna we're gonna get into some serious, serious political news. And by that I'm talking about a friend, I'm doing air quotes

around friend, friend of the show Mark Latham, who has of course become the New South Wales leader for One Nation, the party that's not racist, but it's number one with racists. If you know what I'm saying. And racist. And very racist. Exquisitely racist. So basically, Mark Latham has been out here. Mark Latham has been out here, Spirooking his new plan for, I guess, welfare, fraud type stuff, which is very normal and it's to do DNA testing on Aboriginal people to see what percentage Aboriginal they are and find out whether it satisfies him personally. Oh boy. Now, so this is quite confusing to me because my previous

belief was that DNA testing was only a thing that you did. A big load of shit? Well, there's that. But mostly I thought its only application was for white people to find out the exact mix of Germanic to Celtic that they had in them. That's right. And then to post about it on their Facebook. I completely disagree. It's actually for white people to find out what percentage Native American they are so that they can validate their tribal tattoos and dream catches that they have up around their house. But of course it's also with that massive margin of error where it's like these weird gymnetic markers that mean maybe you came from that region at some point, maybe.

But also perhaps you did not. And also, they're going to use that data to pin you for being a serial killer later. So, keep that in mind if you're a serial killer? The real victim of DNA testing when you think about it. Was that one guy. So let's let's take a little listen to Mark Latham on 9 News. And Mark Latham joins us now from Camden in New South Wales. Good morning to you, Mark. Morning, Deb.

Now you're running for New South Wales Parliament. This is a federal issue. Why are you even raising it? No, there's a whole host of New South Wales Indigenous Welfare programmes, positions reserved for Aboriginal people, the land council system, where you need to qualify. Boy, the land councils in New South Wales have got assets of $5 billion. So there's a huge amount of state money that goes into this area. And what I'm saying, if the technology exists for the DNA ancestry testing, let's use it. Let's find out the heritage of the people applying for indigenous programs and obviously if they've got very little or they've got none, they're trying to rort the system, that's no good. We should be respecting genuine indigenous identity and getting the money to the

people in need who've got the genuine Aboriginal background. Oh boy, my goodness. I feel like if the technology exists is doing a lot of lifting for this policy. Certainly yes. If perhaps this fevered dream that I've had is a reality, let's make it happen. Let's make it happen. And like, what gets me about all this is, of course, is it the eugenics? It's mainly the eugenics, you know? It's this idea of like, why the fuck should he or any other white person have this like determining idea of exactly

what percentage of Aboriginal or indigenous heritage you need to have to claim like a birthright or a bloodline to a culture? Just, I can't even begin to wrap my head around it. And more than anything else it strikes me as being that usual like conservative bad faith argument of saying, oh, what this is actually about is I want to make sure that the money is going to the right people who really deserve it. Which makes me think of like all of the same insistence on applying like unreasonable means testing and qualification for welfare and for unemployment benefits and all that sort of shit.

Where it's always under this guise of like well but we don't want it going to go into the wrong people. So what we're going to do is set all of these arbitrary benchmarks that actually make it impossible for anyone to get. Or that are so expensive they invalidate the process, like the cost of the robodebt thing. thing was nearly exactly the same as the amount of money that they got back from the robo debt thing. So we have talked about this this this this tho tho tho tho their their their their their their of money that they got back from the Robodebt thing. So we have we have talked about this on the show before but if you are an international listener when we say Robodebt we are referring to CenterLink. Debt's from

the robots that the government gives out to you in Australia. Yes, Robots will send you a debt notice here. So Centerlink is the government agency that handles unemployment unemployment benefits and all that kind of thi. And th. And thii. the the thi. the the thi. the the thi. the thi. th is the th is the thi. the the the is the is the the the the is the. the. the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. We is the. We is the. We is th. We is th. We is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the is the the the is the is the theanananananan. I is theananananananananananana theannoanannoan. I is theanan. thea the is the is the is that kind of thing. And basically they've set up this program to just sweep over like people's bank statements along with the payments that they had received from the government. And if it detected what it thought was any kind of discrepancy, it would automatically generate a payment notice to you and say, hey, we think that maybe this happened and you owe us $5,000. So you got 30 days to prove that that that that that that that think that maybe this happened and you owe us $5,000, so you got 30 days to prove that that's not actually true and that this happened differently six years ago, otherwise you just have to pay it.

And as Ben said, in recent Senate estimates inquiries, I think they were asked how much it cost to run the program, or like how much money they had generated through the program, and it was like $500 million, but it cost over $400 million to run the program in the first place. Good stuff. Great stuff. Great stuff. But of course, it's not about actually getting the money, it's just about punishing people.

For even being previously unemployed. That's what safety nets are for, humiliating and destroying people. And in this particular case, it's basically just about validating the idea that you can only belong to a culture if you look a particular way. And... I mean, this is, so... Something I find very interesting. This is the issue that fucking Andrew Bolt got got like convicted of official racism about. It was. It was. He wrote these fucking columns about all these different people who had like either received some

type of scholarship or in some sort of role at a university that related to their indigenous heritage and he was just printing pictures of them and saying well they got blonde hair how can they be aboriginal like that that seemed to be the cut and thrust of his argument and if we if we look here we've got one nation's New South Wales mark lathe says the party will introduce laws to force anyone claiming Aboriginal ancestry to prove it with the DNA test in a bid to quote stop welfare orders. Two weeks after polling day Mr. Latham said one nation if elected would work to abolish

self-identification and replace it with a system requiring DNA evidence. Quote, Australians are sick and tired of seeing people with blonde hair and blue eyes declaring themselves to be indigenous, when clearly they have no recognizable Aboriginal background and are doing it solely to qualify for extra money, the policy statement says. Like, how much clearer could it be right there in black and white? If you don't look black enough for me, you can't get the black people's money. Like... It's something I find very strange about this is that Mark Latham's introduction to the

party was meant to herald this sort of more cerebral angle for the party, right? That like, he, that they had generally been run by people that had come from outside the political sphere and were completely incompetent, which is why they've had nothing but in fighting and technical problems the whole time that they've been in, whereas this is a guy who was, you know, opposition leader, who's been in politics for years and years, he comes from a relatively academic background. This was the introduction of some smarts into their political campaigning, a strategic genius who, you know, was going to come in and completely change the face of them. And what he's done is he has brought them back to their, basically early one nation racism, because as we know, they pick th, th. th. th. the tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, the, thee, throoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooomomu. And, the, th, because as we know, they pick a group of people they

dislike and they focus on them for a while. So one of their founding issues was they didn't believe any indigenous people should be getting money. Then they moved into Asian immigrants, then they moved into Muslim immigrants, now they've moved into African immigrants and Muslims. And now, yeah, this is his genius master stroke. He's gone back to their 90s racism. Which apparently is still, I guess if that's what they're doing, is an issue that works with their voter base. I mean, obviously it'd be absurd to say that racism against indigenous

people in Australia who's gone away because it clearly hasn't. But it's certainly an odd move that they're going back to this, but clearly it has traction. And this is what they're doing now is they're not, their ultimate aim isn't to police which indigenous people get money. They don't want them getting money. You know, the whole narrative that these fucking people have is that, you know, oh, all this happened ages ago. Why are they getting this money, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Fucking, you know, they can't get rid of it entirely.

But this is something they think their sufficient standard. It's just, it's fucking shit. It's like I was saying it, it just, it really pisses me off how many of these various sort of conservative things are just this bullshit crocodile tears thing of just shifting goalposts and pretending to care about groups that you very clearly don't give a fuck about as a way of directing attention off the fact that you're just trying to shaft this particular group of people. Like I said, welfare recipients, you know, this obsession of making sure that people have applied for 30 jobs every month

Making sure they're not getting money from some other source making sure that they're not you know doing Doing non-declared work on the side to fucking make ends meet because new start in this country is below the poverty line This constant obsession with with proving that anybody who is receiving any kind of benefit from the government is is sufficiently poor, is sufficiently like valorous. It's this whole thing of like if you are going to receive money from the government, you just need to be this incredibly specific niche idea of a virtuous poor person that they imagine. And in this case, as he says, quote, we will tighten the eligibility rules for

Aboriginal identity to require DNA evidence of at least 25% indigenous, the equivalent of one fully Aboriginal grandparent. Now it's obvious on the basis of that, that the idea of this as well is that as any generation proceeds, people will stop being able to claim Aboriginal identity. Essentially. If you have one fully Aboriginal grandparent, then your child cannot claim Aboriginal identity.

So, great bit of eugenics trying to just you know officially sanction the government breeding out of Aboriginal identity. Nice trip back to Australia's founding. But like I said it goes for welfare recipients and it also goes for um... it goes for like the same thing of when people talk about domestic violence in this country. You know, and say we have a massive problem with domestic violence. There are seven stories on the front page of the paper about women being murdered by their male partners. And the response from conservative talking heads is, oh, well, have you gone out to like an aboriginal township in the central desert? I love that.

And talk to them about their domestic violence? It's like, oh, I thought I might actually talk about this thing that's happening right in front of me in the place that I live right now. And yeah, just this obsession. I mean, the same thing happened we were to ing recently about the thing with Yumi Steins on that fucking Studio 10 show, where, you know, Carrie Ann Kennelly was saying, oh, all these people saying that we should change the date of Australia day. Have any of them gone out and done anything about the domestic violence in Aboriginal communities? It's like, what a fucking... Yeah? Yeah. Well, but, the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi things things thi thi things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things things, um things things, um things, um, um, um, um, um, um, things, things, things, things, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi things, um, um, um, um, um, thi things, um, um, thi things things things things things things, um, anything about the domestic violence in Aboriginal communities?

It's like what a fucking... Have you? Well, but also it's just this imaginary goalpost. Yeah. Of, you know, yeah, until you have fixed all the equivalent problems that this other culture to our own, you can't complain about our own culture or demand any kind of change? Have you helped the women in Saudi Arabia, Andrew? Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Are you over there driving cars for them, huh? I think that can drive now. Some of the sure can. The activist ladies can. And of course, Mark is also in the news describing Woolen Gong as saying Woolen Gong is full and he would like to cut off immigration. The bustling metropolis of Wollongong. Well just you wait.

Woolang risk, this is from the Iliwara Mercury. Woolong risk becoming, quote, the Bangkok of the South due to immigration levels. Let's just try and, let's pull back for a second and try and interpret the statement that Wollongong is becoming, quote, the Bangkok of the South. What do you think that means? Go. The Chinese people there. Is that it? Is that the whole thing?

Just... Well, number one, I would kind of argue that... I mean, if anything, Thailand is relatively parallel to us. It's not like we're in some completely different part of the world to Thailand. But don't we only hate Chinese people? Mostly, but... They're buying up all the houses, don't you know? I feel like there's a lot of Korean people in Australia now. I'm waiting for like the one nations of the world to catch up with like, when are they

going to start hating on the to turn on white South African people? When will we? Because that's when I become a one nation. I'm already there. Apologies to our one white South African listener. I'm sorry mate, but you know who you are and you know who you are. Mr. Latham was at North Wallen Gong to launch the party's seven-point plan for the Iliwara. Number one on that list is to slow population growth to maintain current levels, easing congestion and aiding the city's quote, wonderful lifestyle. We want to preserve the lifestyle and slashing immigration helps to do that, Mr. Latham said. He said one of the things he liked about Wollongong was it had quote become a want but it had quote become wonderfully cosmopolitan. Oh my

goodness what does that mean? When it was pointed out, when it was pointed out the cosmopolitan character occurred because of immigration Mr. Latham said you can't have too much of a good thing. Right so it it was good, but we've had enough. Have they got, well I assume they've got a candidate running for whatever St. Wollongong is in the federal election. I mean, who, other than the people that live in Wollongong, like no one that thinks of Wollongong is an ideological battleground, right? Maybe if you live there Ben with the people, the good people of Wollongong. The good people of Wollongong. I mean

know nothing about. Woolen gong is nice. I like Wollongong. Speech, it's pretty chill. It's not Sydney, so it's got that going for it. Hell yeah. What gets me about this right? As he says, sure, immigration in Australia was successful for Sydney in this region, through the 60s and 70s and 80s, he said. If you want to live here now, you don't want to live in the Bangkok of the South. You want to have an area that maintains lifestyle. It's got to have urban containment strategies, it doesn't have congestion. Once you've achieved that cosmopolitan lifestyle you want to keep that and not have that spoiled by congestion where you can't find a parking

spot. You've got to stand up on the train. Oh no no. That's like the 10 minutes that most office workers stand up in their entire day. That is literally the only thing stopping them from dying of heart disease. I'm I to my my to my to keep to to to to keep the c ca that the ca that that that that the ca that that that that the ca. That's that their their their their that's their to keep their to keep to keep their their their that's to keep their to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep to keep that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their te.a. I c. I mean mean c. I can't their their tea. I can't te. I want. I wantthe only thing stopping them from dying of heart disease. I'm engaging my core. What gets me about this though is like as usual the weird sort of ideological blindness to the idea that like yes immigration brought us all of these benefits across four decades he says but like... all of these benefits across four decades, he says. But, like, the issue isn't that immigration exists. The issue is how you manage it.

So it's almost like if you get yourself into a place where you hate everybody who is not white who lives in the country you live in, that you're going to have beef with immigration. I mean, obviously he likes being able to go to Chinese restaurants, probably doesn't like Thai restaurants if he's against being the Bangkok of the South. But yeah, just this idea of like, oh, we had all of this massive growth and great cultural growth and all of these things, but suddenly I've decided I don't like it because, because, because, the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th.. the, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, thi, thi, thi, thi, we had all of this massive growth and great cultural growth and all of these things, but suddenly I've decided I don't like it because the last several decades have all been like a hyper neoliberal policy.

So what's the solution? No more immigration. Makes sense. Makes sense to me, folks. That's probably, look, if we're being real, it's probably enough about Mark Latham and Eugenics Watch for the moment. Where is he still going? I feel like it's just time to die, you know? What do you think's going to happen when he loses his bid for New South Wales Parliament? Do you think he'll give up?

He's got to give up at some point. He'll never give up. Just enjoy your retirement money and move on. Apparently Alan Jones donated $10,000 to his campaign. Oh great. Yeah, sure did. Speaking of large sums of money. Let's take a trip. Imagine, imagine that like you're looking at a map,

we're the red dot that's drawing a line right across the map of Australia. We're going all the way to Western Australia folks. No thank you. I'm fine. Well, you can stay here and do it. Okay, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. To this story, Western Australia Commissioner to Japan fired after corruption investigation. Folks, we got a good old case of corruption on our hands. You know that we love it. Love a bit of corruption. We had a long and wide-ranging boat watch series, of course. But this is different. This is an ambassador, some kind of ambassador. A commissioner. Corrupt behavior by former West Australian Commissioner to Japan, Craig Peacock cost taxpayers more

than $500,000 and took at least a decade to be picked up, according to a report released by the state's crime and corruption commission. It's the triple C baby. Peacock used his role, his position of trust, the discretion afforded him, and limited supervision by his employer, to enrich himself, benefit his friends, and a cover-up what could have been a career-ending drink-driving incident, alleges the report. Now, this is the part of this that tickled me. The Commission's list of claims claims claims claims claims claims claims claims claims claims claims of claims claims claims of claims claims of claims claims of claims claims of claims claims the claims thcla cl cl cl this that tickled me. The Commission's list of claims against Peacock includes,

A decade of double dipping on cost of living allowance claims and payments, which Peacock authorized, totaling nearly $500,000. Nice little half mill for yourself of claims that you were authorizing. Great stuff. Reimbursements for the cost of utilities and storage, totaling $65,000, to which he was not entitled under his contract. Reimbursements for membership to the Tokyo branch of the Beefsteak and Burgundy Club, where he served for nearly 13 years as its chief wine master. What is the beef steak and burgundy club? I don't know but I want to join.

Epic bacon man shit. I love it. Now you may think to yourself, that's the silliest one. That's the silliest one. Reimbursements for his membership to the Tokyo branch of the beef steak and burgandy club. The next item on the list is misuse of his official passport for travel to China to attend a convention of the Beefsteak and Burgundy Club. The convention. We're all getting together and just talking beefsteak.

God damn. Ben what do you picture when I say beefsteak and Burgundy Club? Well, so to me, beefsteak, like saying beefsteak like one word is like a real cowboy thing? Yep. And Burgundy, are we talking like the wine? I believe so. Like a burgundy? It's just a very odd combination to me. Because I don't think I've had, I think maybe I had a... I think maybe I had... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... I... th... I... th... th... I... th... I... th....................................................................................................................................................................................... th...... th...... th............ th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... th... thi... thi... th... thi... thi... th... thi... thi... thi... thi... thi... thi... thi... thi... th's just a very odd combination to me because I don't think I've had, I think maybe I had a sparkling burgundy that I might have bought because I was easily swayed when I was 19. Sparcling burgundy. I, well, all right, I wanted to be fancy, right? And I thought how you

be fancy when you're 19 and you're buying wine for the first time is you get sparkling wines. All right? Passion, passion pop. But no, I wanted fancy. So I got a sparkling burgundy. So sparkling yellow tail. Uh, I just don't think I've seen a burgundy the they anyway, is it?

I'm going to be googling here because... Burgundy wine. Is this real? Have you made this up? Well I mean the sparkling version of it is real. Oh all right so it's a it's a region in France right of course and they're made from the they the their they the the they the the the they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. It's wines that come from the region are a burgundy, and the red wines are made from Pinot Noir grapes, and the white ones are made from chardonnay grapes. And then they put it in a soda stream. So a burgundy doesn't have to be burgundy, the color. I think we've all...

We've all learned something there. Mrs. Somelier over here. That's how you say that word. Yep. Smiller. So I'm picturing a cowboy drinking a wine from a cut crystal glass. But he's also eating like just an absolutely burnt-to-shit piece of terrible beef that's all in one piece and it's on a fork.

Yeah, it's like kidney shaped. Yep. Yeah. Additional items include non-payment of taxes in Australia or Japan since at least 2010. An unreported crash in a state-leased car while Peacock was severely intoxicated after which he spent 48 hours in prison was fined and disqualified from driving. Wow.

It's a big pimp move right there. And this is my personal favorite. Destroying a computer hard drive following a direction to bring his work computer to person. To me, that screams innocence. There's nothing nothing that screams like nothing to see here like smashing your computer's hard drive or the fucking hammer. So I saw your email about bringing my computer in and I did do that I just have to let you know on the way to work I I accidentally brought a drill press for $550 and I

bought a diamond tipped 10 millimeter bit and I just went up and down through the hard drive accidentally about 150 times so the computer doesn't start anymore but here's my receipt for the diamond bit for which I will need would be reversed. If you could reimburse me for the drill at the bit that would be amazing because they were very expensive. Side note I was just going to be like wow one of you guys has some really heavy rain going on it's like riding the mic and then I took out my noise cancelling headphones and it's and that's me it's really bucketing down here it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is is is is th is the th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is tho. tho. tho. It is th is tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is is is is is is is is is is is is is is is th. It is s. It is s. It is s. It is s. It is s. It is s. It is s. It is s. It is s. It's the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th here. It's the tropical paradise of Brisbane. It is substantially heavy that is wild. Explains why the air got so sticky all of a sudden. Now Ben I understand that we want to make sure

today that we work in enough time for a Nature Corner segment. You're absolutely right. So last night, as I was working, as I want to do sometimes, my final story for the week of my rosted hours, I usually try and leave as like a fun story, just like a fun story for me to do, won't necessarily get a lot of traffic. isn't necessarily something that our audience would care about, but it's something that I find funny to write about. It's like a little treat that I give myself. And right as I was about to finish up, I saw a report released

from the Australian Transport Safety Bureau, the ATSB, which I'm not overwhelmingly familiar with the work that they do. But I saw this report come up and I... Jesus Christ. I thought it was... Great, great ambience. Yeah, I feel like I should be saying something spookier.

So I found this very interesting. I'm going to throw a question to both of you. Mm-hmm. What, I want you each to estimate what you think is the average number of times per year in Australia that a bird gets hit by a plane per year per year just random figure off the top your head what you reckon is a reasonable amount for the amount of times that it is recorded sorry just to clarify that someone reports hitting whoa oh my goodness Christ this spooky stuff that's quite nearby I'm gonna say 1200 Lucy the highest estimate I would put it a, it's pretty good. Birds hit planes a lot. That's why Sally had to, that's why Sally had to land in the Hudson River.

You know? Yeah, that's true. A double bird strike, both engines. So I'd say it's a few hundred. Oh my god, you use the correct word as well. Bird strike. That's what it's called. Are a huge nerd. Well, as an example, so they did a study of the 10-year period and we had a record-breaking year in 2017, which is the last year of this 10-year period that they were studying, 1,900 bird strikes were recorded.

Oh my goodness. My guess was not high enough. No, but I mean, my guess would have been way low on this. But the way my logic works is that planes, quite big. The sky, huge. Birds, very small, right? They're also very stupid, right? Well, I also kind of think that, you know, I don't know, if the air around a plane, you know, the displacement or whatever would push them out of the way or whatever,

I just sort of assumed... Yeah, I would think so. It's not really going to happen a lot, but it happened shitload. So in a 10-year period, 16,626,6 bird strikes were recorded. So many birds. Now, because this is aviation safety, every single incident that happens has to be extraordinarily well documented, right? Like, how do they record this? How do they know?

They report it in, right? Because they have to, because an incident happened on the flight. They record, you know, the make and model, the plane, the airport that it happened at, the time, the time that it had had, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th so thi th so thi thi thi thi thi, thi, has thi, has thi, has tho, has th so thi has thi, has tho th so th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the th th th th th the, has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has has that, has thi, has thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the thi thi the thi the thi the thi thi thi thi thi the thate thate that their the their thi thi thi theyyyy thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they have to, because an incident happened on their flight. They record, you know, the make and model, the plane, the airport that it happened at, the time that it happened at, the number of birds that were involved, the species of bird that was involved, they record the weight of the bird, or the sum total of the weight of birds that hit the plane. And so they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they put they they put their they their they they their their their they their their their. And so they put up these spreadsheets on the website.

For every single one of these incidents, they have a comprehensive record of everything that happened so they can pull different statistics from it. Like of the 16,626 accidents, well, sorry, not accidents, their occurrences, which have then subdivided into incidents, serious incidents and accidents. Of those, nine resulted in minor injuries to passengers or the pilots, which is wild. What did they hit to cause this? Maybe these different smaller planes, like light planes. Yeah, I guess maybe that's like a pelican going through the window of a sandpiper or something. Yeah, yeah, like hitting an albatross with the propellers of your,

yeah, exactly. Little Cessna. You had your window open, and 10 of these incidents is the pilots that were shooting at Indiana Jones and his dad in, uh, the that. So one in 10ten of every bird strike. One in ten of these incidents is the pilots that were shooting at Indiana Jones and his dad in the Temple of Doom when he flapped at them with his umbrella and made them all fly through the windows and the propells. Yes.

So one in ten of those that involved in playing with a jet engine, a bird was ingested in one of those engines. And that in 11 of those 16,626 accidents, more than one bird went through more than one engine in the one thing, which is fucking wild. So all of this was crazy to me, right? Like I'm just scrolling through this list being like, oh wow that's amazing you can see that on January 24th, 2013 at 8 a.m. in the morning seven Galaas collided with an Airbus A320 or whatever, which is pretty strange. But the strangest thing about this... I bet they got turned into a fucking paste. And looking at it just from like scrolling through the thing,

Galaz seemed to be by far the most common bird that were hit by blades. Well, there's a reason that they are... Bloody Galaas. They used as, as a stupid bird. So, the bird stuff, pretty wild. The really fucking crazy shit is the data on animal strikes. So they did the same sort of analysis of the same period of time and put up a second spreadsheet. In the second spreadsheet, this was for terrestrial animals.

There were 396 recorded incidents with animals in that same 10-year period. And- What kind of animals we're talking here? Oh, I am going to break this this time. with animals in that same 10-year period. Uh, and... What kind of animals are talking to you? Oh, I am going to break this down for you by the numbers. So, there were eight bandicoot strikes. There were three bearded dragon strikes. I'm very confused already. Two cane toad strikes. One incident in which someone hit a bull. A bull? Two incidents in which someone hit a

cow. Two incidents in which someone hit a dingo. There were six incidents in which someone hit a dog and in one of those incidents the log specifically records that it was the pilot's dog. Why would you admit to that? So it's like dog category dog slash fox, pilot's dog. There were five incidents where someone hit in the Kidner, three incidents where someone hit an emu. 37 instances where someone hit a fox. Ten instances where someone hit an emu, 37 instances where someone hit a fox, 10 instances where someone hit a goanna, there were 89 instances in which someone hit a hare, there was one incident in which someone hit a horse. What would hitting a hair even do to a plane, yeah?

If you're traveling fast enough. Yeah, most of the time these happen on the runway, either as they're landing or as they're taking off. It would be pretty weird if they didn't they they they they they they they they they they they they, right? Yeah, most of the time these happen on the runway, either as they're landing or as they're taking off. It would be pretty weird if they didn't. If they were like 10,000 feet up. Hit a horse. There were 59 instances where they hit a monitor lizard, three incidents where they hit a quacker.

Wow. Wow, no no, no, no, there's beautiful, little smiling things. There was one incident where someone hit a robber crab. Oh, I was just... No, no, no, no, I've been watching like the planet Earth. Uh, the planet Earth, uh, the two, thi, th, th, th, th, th, just, just, th, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, th-just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, just, just, just, th, just, just, just, just, th, just, th, just, just, th, just, th, th, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, the the the the the the the thi, thi, thi-a, just, just, a thi-a, just, just, thi-just, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi no no, no, no, the fucking... I've been watching like the Planet Earth... The Planet Earth 2 documentary with my kids, right? Uh-huh. The rubber crab or coconut crab.

Phawnet crab. Yeah, so these are the ones that will drag a fucking coconut 5 kilometers away before they're because they're fucking stupid. They're also huge and fucking terrifying. They have like a leg span of one meter. They're gross. I hate so much. That shit.

And like all the photos of them on the internet are like by someone's bad flash on their digital camera where it's one that's as big as the garbage bin that it's holding on to. As they freak the fuck out about this thing they're looking at. Yeah. It's a fucking nightmare. Folks, just Google, robber crab, coconut crab or whatever and just get prepared to be fucking freaked out by how huge these things are. They climb up the trees, they steal coconuts, they're steal coconuts, they're awful beasts. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. It. It. It. It. It. It. It's, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. It's, their. It's fucking. It's fucking fucking. It's fucking fucking. the. thoomk. togucoa. togucoa's fucking fucking toguanan's just just just fucking toguanan's just just fucking theaugh, the. thi. the your plane might cause a little bump in your tie. It is the largest land living arthropod in the world. Oh, you know that. So specifically, this happened where an A-bus, A-319, taking off from Christmas Island hit a rubber crab. The description of the incident is, during the takeoff, the aircraft struck a rubber crab. The end? Okay. That's it.

That's the whole description. God damn. That happened on the 29th of June, 2013. Was someone just there to like, he saw it happen and like helped the crab? Like, who's recording this? I mean, I assume it would have been like, they're going to take off? They're like, like, like, like, what the fuck the fuck the fuck the fuck the fuck the fuck their their their, like, like, like, like, like, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their... their, their, their, their, their. their, their, their, their. their, their. their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their have been like they're going to take off there's a bump they're like what the fuck was that they turn around someone goes out goes up yep yeah no that was a robber crab so dramatic yaks it's very dramatic the list goes on to the list goes on we hit four possums, 65 rabbits, two rats. One of those rats was an Australian swamp rat. Which is what I call friend of the show Max Laverne.

I was waiting for someone to come up there. There's a single, there's a single item in here that I really cared about. I'm waiting for you to hit it. Oh, I can't remember what this is, but I can't wait to find out. Somebody, I saw these logs and somebody struck an emu. Oh, I thought I already said that. They hit a bunch of emus. Oh my God.

Yeah, three of them. Yeah, three of them. There were eight turtles that got hit. God damn. A lot of snakes. Oh my god, this is one thing that really stopped with me. Why would you even report hitting a snake? Come on.

So you know how I said that thing about how they record the weight of the thing that they've hit? Let me just find the entry for the t biggest snake that they hit? Uh, no, this is the entry for the toad that they hit, puts its weight down as 1.2 kilos. Fuck that. Which is, like, unfathomable. I... No, 1.8 kilos. That's like as big as a healthy chicken. It's got to be like the size of a football, right? Like that's...

God damn. Now Ben, I hate to do this to you. Sure. But, I need to make sure that we have several minutes to read this letter that we've received. Oh I'm not ready for this. Go on. Have you, are you happy with where you got to? I think I said all of the most interesting animals. There are a lot more wallabies and there was one recorded incident with a Walleroo. A Walleroo, poor little fella. And I'm just glad

that we report them so that we don't have a sully incident of our own. Yeah that's what these tests are for. Although I would enjoy being in a plane that was sullied. Would you? Have to crash land. Are you guys ready for this letter? Yes. All right for context. We were sent a question by a listener a few weeks ago about your favorite time that you pooped at work, right? So me and Theo got into talking about pooping at work. We asked for people to write in with you know, their own war stories. We got a very good one on last week's bonus episode, which you can find at Patreon for Portovisa about somebody saying that they were in the the the the the the their in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their in their own their own their own avista about somebody saying that they were in the toilet cubicle at work

sitting down and somebody came in and occupied the toilet cubicle next to them and then they heard a fumbling a smashing of ceramic on on tiles and then a hot stream of coffee came under the partition and pulled around their shoes. Somebody drinking a nice big hot steaming cup of Joe in the work bathroom. Now I know what you might be thinking to yourself, wow, these are all crazy, shitting at work stories. We've received a follow-up letter from a friend of the show, Brick Dust Otis. And I'm going to have to read it to you now. Hi folks, it's me ex-wife of the show, Oates.

It's pretty rough to... I think, I don't know if this is the first ex-wife that we've ever been contacted by. Wow, brutal. It's come to my attention that you're not aware of the reason I sent a question about shitting into the show last week. Please strap yourselves in and prepare to call a loved one into the room for emotional support or an assisted suicide. So on Monday morning one of the girls of my work came in and happily announced that she'd been shitting all week and

had gastro. She ducked out of the room a few times that morning, but other than in some uncomfortable faces, she seemed mostly okay, until just prior to lunch, when the situation took several turns in very short order. First she stood up quite suddenly. This got my attention because I do not do any work, and I am always watching everyone in the room and listening to my boss for signs that he knows that I don't do any work. Then she sneezed. Then she shit herself. Vilantly. Liquid seeped through her yoga pants and down her legs onto the carpet.

It stank like nothing I've ever smelled before. Pretty much everyone was screaming. My boss exited his tiny office and disappeared without a sound. The mechanics in the workshop rushed in to see why there was screaming and became engulfed in the utter hysterics as we all struggled to not spew. Once things had relaxed a bit, and the poor shitter was wrapped in a hastily acquired towel and escorted to the ambulent toilet slash shower to be washed off by some of our female co-workers. I assessed the damage with one of the mechanics who was an army dude and totally insane and was already bravely

cleaning up her bumhole mistake. It felt wrong to leave him to do this alone so I joined him in his grim work. We both agreed the chair was a right-off, and slashed the cushion out and broke the rest into pieces, which were double-bagged and thrown into a skip on the street out the front of the office. We then returned and continued to examine, slash clean her work the thin alcohol wiping down stuff as we went. During this process, we noted the carpet was making a noise, a thing carpet doesn't normally do. After some strategic yanking and slicing of carpet, we found moisture.

We had to use sand from a spill kit, the stuff with silica gel used to clean up her swampy leavings. Jesus Christ! The whole complex was standing at the upstairs window watching us like a brown stained square of carpet across the parking lot to the skip, having presumably heard that someone had violently shed themselves downstairs. The jokes began immediately and our boss granted her a full four days leave from work. Total cost to date, $200 chair, about a square meter of carpet, approximately 500 grams of special sand, and about four hours of work across seven individuals on the day, plus

two people having a day of sick leave within the next week. She was back at work Tuesday morning this week after nine consecutive days of absence. I was sure she would resign. Braver than the troops. Someone bought her a picnic and she just laughed about it. I fear her now more than death itself. Yours in the light of Christ, Otis. Oh, wow. Wow. I hated every minute of them.

Every line of it. Didn't enjoy it. Oh, folks, if we can take anything away from this, it is the public service announcement that if you have had gastro or you are currently experiencing gastro, please do not go into the office. Please stay home. For your own sake and the sake of people around you, that's what sick days of four, huge apologies to international listeners, aka Americans for whom this might not be possible, or for people that are casual employees as well.

Americans purchase a nappy of some sort. I assume. Depends in this scenario. Yep. Strap them on. Don't take any chances. Because, I mean, look, if you play it with enough confidence, maybe you can bounce back from shitting yourself at work.

But it's going to be hard. It's going to be a rough one. It's going to be tough tough tough tough tough tough tough tou tou to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be hard. It's gonna be a rough one. It's gonna be tough. So that's a horrifying, I believe we're all scarred by this now. And that wraps us up for this one. What a note to that. It wraps us up in a big, like a big old nappy. Wrapped up in a big, warm adult diaper.

Folks, thank you for joining us. If you would like to support the show and cop an additional episode every week, you can head on over to Patreon. tho-Vista.com, forward slash Buntavista. If you would like to, say, wear a t-shirt or a pin or get a toad bag that shows that you listen to the show about diarrhea, head on over to Buentevista.com forward slash merchandise. I didn't know it actually already gotten those. I listened to a show about diarrhea pins in...

Well, that was quite... We do have... We do have a pin or a black tote bag that in very large letters has FBI and then underneath in smaller words it says, female battling IBS. So you can definitely get shitting related merchandise from Buntavista.com forward slash merchandise. We appreciate and love every one of you who have listened to the show. We're all sending you warm, wet kisses as warm and wet as the ladies diarrhea in the carpet. Our listeners deserve better than this. Most of them. Some of them absolutely not. Some of them sure. You know who you are. Again one one South

African expat in Australia you know who you are. You know who you are. So until next time, folks. Thank you. And goodbye. Good night and good luck. you to be