Boonta Vista - UNLOCKED BONUS EPISODE: Italian Bavaria
Episode Date: December 24, 2019We're on break! Instead, enjoy this unlocked bonus episode from our Patreon (www.patreon.com/BoontaVista) Andrew, Ben and Theo discuss the optimal number of Hitlers, the amazing inventions of Austral...ia's millionaire Teenpreneurs and the music of Jeremy Renner. Support our show and get an extra bonus episode like this every single week by subscribing on Patreon: www.patreon.com/BoontaVista
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Welcome to Bente Vista. It's a bonus episode. I'm just jumping straight into it.
I hit the big record button. The guys didn't even know it was coming. I've sprung this on him as a shock.
We, no, we knew it was coming. It was a podcast intervention. We were silent so that you could do the intro.
Like that's right.'s right all of our vocal exercises
David
Drayman drains the dirty drain man's drains every day
So wait is he is he the drain man? No, okay. No, David Drayman. That's his name right. I've said it so many times.
Drayman. David Dray? David, Drayman.
Drain's the Drain Man's Every Day Man's Every Day Day.
I feel like the Drain Man should be more.
Daily is better.
David Dramed Draid's the Drain Man's Draids daily.
Perplexing and we're gonna get to the bottom of it. The Drain man has a thrane man man man man man. Drain. Drain. thrain. thrain. thrain man. thrain man. thrain man thrain. thrain. the drain, thrain, thrain, thrain, thrain, thrain, thrain, thrain, the drain, the drain, the drain, the drain, the drain, the drain, drain, thrain, the drain, drain, drain, drain, drain, drain, drain, drain, drain, drain, drain, drain, drain, drain, drain, drain, drain, drain, drain, drain, the d' d' d' d' d' d' d' d'-d, th. th. th. th. thrane, thrane, thrane, thrane, thrane, thrane, thrane, thrane, the the the the the drain, their-d-drain, their'a'a'a'a'a'a'rain, every their-drain, drain, every their-drain, every their-drain, every the drain,. The drain man has a lot of drains. He owns the drains. He has, yeah, he's the owner of the drains and it, David Drayman drains the drains daily.
David Drayman's dirty drains daily. Fuck. Who out there is psyched for another like 58 minutes?
The whole point is just nailing this.
By the end, we've worked out of good sentence and we can all say it perfectly.
Yep.
And then we say, good night.
All in unison, getting progressively faster and faster at saying it.
Ten times in a row, mixing up the word order on the every second one.
Yep. And then everybody goes goes, oh fuck, start again. Enunciating perfectly clearly for the first time in my life instead of the sort of more lasses
of words that usually slowly trickle out of my mouth.
Yeah, that's true. You're a pretty relaxed guy.
So I've heard from the constant feedback we get about the energy levels of this podcast.
I feel like I'm a quite energetic person. That's right. I feel bombastic.
I don't think people are, people aren't rude about it, but they're just like, your show put
me into a functional coma, but in a good way. I was like body, it's a feeling, my mind was a bit
overwhelmed, and just placed me into a hospital bed and lulled me into a four-week coma with
your dulcetones.
I don't know if she listens to, I don't know if she's a subscriber of Patreon, well I don't
know what we call this, but this is, there's the one person at my work that listens to this podcast,
who is also one of the few people at my work that I like, and she was like, hey, hold on, hold on the few people at your work at your work at your work at your work at your th, at your th, at your th, at your th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, that, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.. And, th, the, th, hey, listen to your podcast. Hold on, hold on. One of the few people at your work that you like.
There's not a lot of them.
Let's get into names.
Let's...
Who don't you like?
The people in editorial are fun.
But Elise is outside of editorial, so it's even more surprising that I get along with her.
But she was definitely half compliment.
the only podcast I have to listen to on double speed. I was like, huh. Thank you Elise. But you know I was listening to it. Thank you, if you are
a subscriber, if you're not, still thank you, you just won't hear this. I thank you in person.
And that's the tau and that's just getting two kinds of thanks. And that frankly feels a little unfair to everybody else. And than th th thank th thank than than than thin thin than thin thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I'll thi. Thank you, thi, thi. Thank you, thi, thin, tho. Thank you, tho. Thank you, tho. Thank you, tho, thi, thi, thi. Thank you, thi. Thank you, thi. Thank you, thi, thi. Thank, thi, thi, thi. Thank, thi, thi. Thank, thi. Thank, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theea. thea. tha. theauuuuuuuuuuuu. Thank you, thooooooooooooooo. Thank you tha. Thank you tha. Thank you to everyone else, but to a lesser extent, that's all I have to say on the issue.
Welcome to the Buda Vista. This is the podcast where...
We... Our dad wrote a pordo. Is that the one that we are? No, it's where we have a favorite murder. It's where we talk about a murder.
Ooh, who got murdered? I love talking about a murder. Guys, check out this murder. It is packed th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It is th. It is th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi wa. thi wa. W W Wa. Wa. Wa. Wa. Well, thi wa. Wa. Wa. Well, thi wa. Well, tho. Welcome thi wa. Welcome thi wa. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well, the the the the th. Well. Well. Well. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. Well, th. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. W. Wa. Wa. Wa. Wa. Wa. Wa. Wa. Wa. Wa' tha'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a. Wa. Wa. Wa. got murdered? Hey, I love talking about a murder.
Guys, check out this murder.
It is packed full of laughs.
Yeah, my wife's been listening to a serial.
That's not one of the funny murder ones.
It's one of the comedic murder podcasts.
Comedy murder podcasts.
Pretty dreary stuff. I can't be real with you
not what I would call a laugh a minute I can't do either kind of true crime podcast
I'm quite squeamish person oh is that right where about murder and stuff I'd find them just taste full and a huge downer
yeah
yeah what's the what's the appeal? I don't get the appeal personally.
It does make me think of the that piece that was like doing the rounds while ago about how
like podcasting is hard and there were people replying who work for like in.
People are replying who like work and saying, oh, well, every hour of our show takes like three weeks of research
and a bunch of interviews and like two people doing the score
and a bunch of people like, you know, editing it for three days.
I'm like, yeah, but you work for a media company that has like a podcasting arm.
And this is their entire deal.
You're like paid to do it. Yeah, you're paid to do this as a full-time job and you have a staff
of people set up to do this as a professional production thing. It makes sense that it requires
you to put a lot of effort and time into it. I mean, that sounds very similar to ours though. I put weeks of research into every episode. We also also th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. their, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. thee. theateateateateat to to to to to to theateate. to theateate. theate. the. the. the. sounds very similar to ours, though. I mean, we put weeks of research into every episode.
We also have two people doing the score.
You've done all of the songs so far, and I've kind of said that I do one as well.
How's that song coming along there?
You installed Ableton.
I put on my Vp-N.
I installed Hulu into my browser.
I've installed Hulu into my browser, allowed some other people to pirate child porn through my browser while
I was pirating Ableton because that shit is way too expensive.
And now I've got this mystery Brutalist Cube application with all of its little dials and
flanges.
They love an angle, the people that make Ableton.
They do love an angle.
And you know what angles is their favorite one?
It's gonna be the classic right angle.
You simply, you give them a 9, you give them a 0,
and I tell you what, they're gonna put the 9 first.
Hmm.
And then the 0.
You know why?
9 degrees, that're Germans are they?
No, this all makes a lot of sense.
It makes it all make a lot more sense.
The interface of popular digital editing work.
What's the acronym for DAW Digital Audio Workshop?
Workstation? There you go.
Yep. A door.
A door? Did that scan? Sure. There, Sarah, what was door. A door? A door?
Did that scan?
Sure.
There's a noise, it just made it sounded very ambiguous.
But yeah, the fine people at Ableton who make the product live.
Arbolton, I believe it's pronounced actually.
Ableton.
No.
No.
I was almost there. I was almost sure. But the Italian part of Germany. It is a very...
It is a very... It is a very...
It is a very inscrutable piece of something. It is a very, very inscrutable piece of the
Germany. The most cursed part of the country.
It's Italian Bavaria.
Italian Bavaria.
Come from Italian Bavaria, so I get my spaghetti from the...
I get my spaghetti from the cafe and my...
My dark beer from... Oh no, my Bavarian cheesecake, my black forest.
All right, so we do research for every year.
Oh, I'm sorry, hundreds of hours of research.
I've gone back to cafe here and I've realized that your cultural reference for Bavaria is the Bavarian beer cafe.
It's that, who knows? Okay. I couldn't tell you what they're making over there. Cultural reference for Bavaria is the Bavariate Beer Cafe.
It's that, who knows?
Okay.
I just, I couldn't tell you what they're making over there.
Sure. Some kind of mystery.
No one's, no one's been to Italian Bavaria in a long time.
It's all I'm saying.
No, and they shouldn't. It's frightening.
It's frightening and it's frightening and it's frightening and it's frightening and it's scary and we're not going then. You know what else is frightening to me, guys. Hang on, isn't Italian Bavaria just Austria?
I feel like that's maybe offensive, but I have no way of substantiating that.
Are the people they're white?
I don't know if this is controversial, but I have no opinions about Austria.
Except maybe, they shouldn't have done Hitler. Moving on.
Done Hitler.
Remember when Austria got together and took a vote and said,
should we craft...
Should we gather our resources and craft one Hitler, yeah?
Should we gather our resources and craft one Hitler?
Put your hands up for the votes if you think we should have a
Hitler. And yeah, over 50% of the room.
It was only like, only 51% something. 51%?
Come on, you haven't let us do Hitler yet.
We have been doing not a Hitler for the entire history of Austria. Please
let us do a Hitler now. Just one. We haven't done a single Hitler and it's been working out
okay. But imagine. How bad could it be?
Oh, how bad could it be? Oh, everybody's gathered together.
They're all pouring over the schematics.
They're all, one Hitler you reckon.
This is sort of like a Brexit situation where they got into it and they're like, you know
what, this is a terrible idea and they're like, well, we voted for it.
So I've noticed that I've stopped trying to do the accent I think I'm gonna start Democratic Hitler do you think one
Hitler will be enough? Oh one will be it turns out that was actually too many
Hitler's? Too many Hitler's we have created exactly one too many Hitler's.
The big problem with Austria is they had one too many Hitler's.
They had exactly... it's a real zero-sum game to how many Hitler's can you have, isn't it?
As in it sums to... I don't know if that's what that means, but...
I don't know what it means either.
Does anybody out there know what zero sum means? If you know what
zero sum means, write to Theo at Buonavista.com and explain it to him. He'd love that. The one person who
knows the most about numbers. Oh. So one, one Hitler is too many, I think we've established.
Yeah, I cannot even begin to imagine what that conversation started as.
Welcome to the podcast. We are an Australian political comedy podcast.
Yes. We talk about the media, we talk about the news, we talk about politics.
And you know what, sometimes we like to have a little bit of fun.
We like to keep you up to date with current events, like the birth of Adolf Hitler in 1889.
Oh you googled that, did you?
No, no, actually yes I did.
Okay.
Yes I did. No, I don't have a bunch of...
You want the guy that's the trap- Oh, wow. Yes, I did. No, I don't have a bunch of- You want to be the guy that knows.
I know that we always, we always all collectively play it off as I want,
I'm not just killing time while I google this thing, but I'm absolutely revising that answer to
I am not a guy with a bunch of memorized encyclopedic knowledge of one, one too many, Adolf Hitler.
I just...
The Adolf Hitler?
Before I was trying to sort of guess at his birth date, and I think I had a vague suspicion
I kind of knew it was in the 1800s because that's always weird to me when a historical
figure involved in 20th century stuff was born in the 1800s.
And then I was like, well, 1891, that sounds right. And I was like, no, that would mean to be like, what, like 54?
By the end of World War II?
It didn't look that old.
But then, I don't know, I guess, black and white footage is kind of blurry.
Who knows?
You remember what?
Maybe he was a bad way to start that question. You wouldn't remember, but have you ever seen the photos, when he had a giant handlebar mustache?
No. So in World War I, he had a giant handlebar mustache.
Imagine if he'd ruined that moustache for everyone.
That would have been, yeah, I think it's good that he chose the not very popular one,
although it is, it's weird though that he chose the Hitler mustache.
It is one of the greatest coincidences in history.
It's got the same name and everything.
So, incredible.
That's a coincidence.
Guy that I have seen twice in Brisbane that has a Hitler mustache.
Brisbane.
That guy, uh, what possible reason could you have?
I think one?
Does he just spend his entire day just, like rationalizing the Hitler mustache that he clearly has?
Maybe he's trying to take it back.
There's always some white guy out there trying to take some back.
Just one guy, like, try to bring the Hitler mustache back by pure force of will alone.
It's our mustache, he says.
Maybe he loves Charlie Chaplin's The Tramp character more than he hates Hitler.
Which would be a bad side of character.
The Tramp? Very funny.
Hitler? Very, very bad.
I would say as much as I love the Charlie Chaplin movies starring his character,
The Tramp, you'd be an absolute fool to love the tramp more than you hated Hitler.
And he was, I think Charlie Chaplin was very wise not to make a movie about some sort of dictator.
Because that wouldn't be funny at all.
Or a great one.
No, I don't sound right. Yeah, people walking around with Hitler mustaches, that's right, yet another terrible byproduct
of the city of Brisbane. And in fact, we have another terrible byproduct of the city of Brisbane
in some articles by Teen Millionaire, uh, whatever this kid's name is, Jack Bloomfield, teen
millionaire. You know what? No teen should be a millionaire. No one should be a
millionaire. Now that's right, but teens least of all. Yes.
Maybe like more teens should be millionaires because at least they'd just put their money
back in the economy.
I think...
I think...
Destruction Derbies.
Deerbies should be, yeah, they should be a millionaire if they are doing it in a way where
they're like, they could be in a 90s movie called Party Millionaire or, um, um, all of the examples I could think of off the top of my head, start, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, the word, to the thum, thum, thum, to thum, to thum s shit, thum s shit, thum, thum s' thum s' th, th, th, thum sump shit, thum. Derme thum. Derme shum. sum, thum, thum, thum, thum, thum, thum, thum, thum, thum, thum, their their their the the the the the thum, the the thum, the the the thum, thum of thum of thum, thum, thumb, thumb, thumb, to thumb, to to to to thumb, tru. Duhmiiiii, tru tru tru th off the top of my head to make up
start with the word party or ending the word millionaire. Skateboard millionaire.
But basically you got to if you're a team millionaire you've got to live like
either Rich or the kid from Blankcheck.
So this piece was sent into me by the, I want to say, lover of the show, Travis, who demanded that I read this,
unless it was actually someone else who sent it to me, in which case, imagine that I got your name right and you're getting the credit. The imagination is such a powerful tool. It is. It is. It is. It is. It. It. It. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was. It was th th th th th th th th the the the th the th the the the I got your name right and you're getting the credit. Well, the imagination is such a powerful tool.
It is, it is.
And so are you.
Ha ha!
Oh, God, damn.
Moving on.
So he sent me this piece, News. I believe it was in the courier mail when he was looking at it. Teenage self-made millionaire Jack Bloomfield on the big mistake most Australians are making.
Jack Bloomfield makes more in a week than you do in a year.
First of all, Verde.
And also I'm pretty sure not true.
And he knows exactly why most Australians will only ever be mediocre at best.
If there's one thing that all 17-year-olds know, it's everything. will only ever be mediocre at best.
If there's one thing that all 17-year-olds know, it's everything.
And they can tell you it with great confidence.
Famously experts on life.
Now, I did a little bit of reading about this kid and looked at his LinkedIn and found
that he's gunning for the spot or has appropriately gunned for
cala bonds
treasured spot
as the youngest news called columnist
oh
uh... he has on in his lincoln bio
youngest columnist for news call
ever
wow
does it say what school he went to?
Uh, what does LinkedIn or? Yeah, well, well, funny you should ask. Funny you should.
Well, that just a little, you know, a little spidey sense tingling? Well, he, so he's written a piece.
Um, for news.com. Do you under finance slash work slash careers because
apparently somebody said to him hey kid you doing a great job out there why
don't you tell all these fucking losers out there how shit dumb asses
now they're fucking getting everything wrong jobs every day pathetic scum
walk around the street think of there as good as you and me pot scum so so so so Jack writes now it's also it's that that thi that it's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi that that that thi that that the that the the that that that the the that thi th th th th th th th their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they thi thi thi think of their as good as you and me. So Jack writes, now it's also very evident that this has been written by a teenager.
We are now hurtling towards that point in the year when kids my age will be sweating bullets
as end of school exams approach. Every single one of them convince their entire future
hinges on what kind of university entrance mark they achieve. Score well and we're set forever.
Do badly and our lives are over before they really even begin.
Well that's what we're told at least.
That means millions of sleepless nights and hours of frantic last minute cramming.
I don't know about this kid but my teachers all went way out of their way to let us
down gently before we even took the test
because I went to a school in regional Queensland. And that what they all said
don't worry too much. Hey hey guys don't you know don't even it's like it's not a
big deal don't stress about it if you go go good, it's fine, but also,
but partially this is also because they knew that,
well, no, I don't want to get into how the OPE is calculated,
but it has a lot to do with how your whole school does,
and also the schools in your area
as to how your individual final score turns out.
Whereas everybody at our school would tell me make sure to base your entire self-worth
not only now but in the following you know 20 years or whatever it is on how
well you do academically because that's going to work out really well in the
future. And luckily you didn't internalize that belief. No.
No. I've been very rational about the way that I live my life from that point onwards.
So no problems here.
I'm sorry, I don't remember that part of school because I was busy getting high.
Yeah, there he is. Yeah, as you can see, I using a herb from Mother Earth herself.
I have inoculated myself. It's natural.
It's just a plant, man. It's just a plant. How can a plant be illegal? If it grows
out of the ground, how can a plant be illegal? It's a plant. God put this here for us.
God put the plant in the ground and then from the ground came the plant and it can't be illegal. Cops can't touch it. God put this here for you and me th th th th th th and me me me me me me th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the ground came the plant and it can't be illegal, cops can't touch it. God put this here for you and me and Bigfoot, you know?
And then I put it in my cupboard to...
90% of it.
And he leaves the rest for us.
He's so high right now.
Well, that's cooperative evolution, isn't it? So Bigfoot, uh,
smokes it through his body and the plank continue to propagate. Beautiful. Nature is amazing. I can hear David Atbra
navigating that right now. Navigating? Oh. Narrating, I think. I'm thinking about how
sometimes he's in submarines. And you know what, now I think about it. He might not
actually be in the submarine. I think he just narrates it and the camera people are in the submarines. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th is, nature is, nature is, nature is, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi, nature is th is th is thi, is thi, is thi, is thi, is is thi, is is is thi, is is is is is is is. Nature is is is is is. Nature is is is is is is is, is is is is is is is is th is is is is is, nature is th is th is, nature is th, nature is th, nature is th, nature is th. Nature, nature is th. Nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature, nature is thi, nature is thi, nature is the the the the the the the the thi-, he might not actually be in the submarine,
I think he just narrates it and the camera people are in the submarines.
God damn it!
All right, well I just made myself sad.
Anyway, continue with the bullshit article.
Now it's James Cameron in the submarine.
He loves those.
Oh, I found the Titanic.
Yeah, dips shit.
We already knew what it was, that's how you got down there. We all found the tight tea, come on. So it goes on
to say, weeks of nail biting nerves as we erraite the results, all followed by a sense of
overwhelming joy or crushing disappointment depending on what that little piece of paper says.
But I won't be one of them. In fact, I want to tell everyone to relax. He's put his cool sunglasses on at that point to tell you to relax to relax to relax you to relax you to relax you to relax you to relax you to relax you to relax you to relax you their you their you their to relax to relax tho their tho to relax tho tho to relax to to to to to tho tho tho tho the. I tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho that point to tell you to relax.
And how are we going to relax? Is this through smoking weed as we were discussing earlier?
Not through being cool and smoking weed in high school. Or through inhaling the processed
weed from near Bigfoot skin. Yep. Not through picking up Bigfoot's turds, drying them out
and then using them to make tea.
Getting incredibly high from that Bigfoot THC, just shit tea.
Delicious stuff.
No, he says there is much more to your working life than university.
Oh good, more to my working life than university. Oh good, more to my working life than just
university. Fucking hell. I'm glad he's very focused on how quickly he can get into working.
Awesome. In fact, for most of us, it's the last thing we should be focusing on. I just want
to say at this point with the style of writing, in fact, I want to tell everyone to relax.
In fact, for most of us, it's the last thing we should be focusing on.
And the data proves it.
Now I know what you're thinking.
Who is this arrogant kid who thinks he's too smart for university?
Let me explain.
It's so cute that he thinks there's going to be an explanation that would stop people from having that thought.
From being like, I hope this kid shuts the fuck up.
Like we were all 17 once, even Theo.
And I understand that people maybe don't give you the time of day that they would if you're
a fully grown adult and it could be frustrating to be a teenager because you have all these thoughts and ideas and you feel like they get disregarded
just because of your age and that's the fucking worst but at the same time
you also don't know shit about shit because you're 17 fucking years old
and you haven't fucking done anything well he has he's a millionaire
which makes him smarter which must come from his ingenious brain.
So he says, it's not that I think I'm too good for uni. It's a well-trodden path for lots of students
and it's perfectly fine for most people.
Yeah, losers.
It's more that I don't subscribe to the idea that university is the be-all and end
all of education.
Let's look at the University of Melbourne for example. In 2019 the single most popular course is a general arts degree with 2,275
Victorian students listing it as their number one choice. And do you know what
each of those thousands of students will leave with after three or four
years of extra study? A mountain of debt and a piece of paper that carries
absolutely no weight in the working world.
And three years of training, but I guess that's not important.
Is there a profession called arts outside of being an artist?
Not that I've ever heard of, he says.
No way.
Yep.
Is there a profession called...
called arts, outside of being an artist?
So I'm glad that he's...
Maybe if he went to university he could fucking learn what, like...
Hey, dip-shits with a degree in law. Is there even a profession called law?
Outside of him being a lawyer?
But of course this also, this also reflects, like, very... called law outside of him being a lawyer.
But of course this also reflects like very, very silly thinking in that like
his entire conception of value and worth and a purpose to life and everything, even before
turning like 15 is 100% framed through the context of how soon can I start working
and earning money and the amount of money that you earn directly correlates to your
work, so you're worth, sorry.
There's no reason that anybody could want to say learn anything that can't directly
translate into a salary. Let me explain. Culture is like a toilet. And learning is, the to' thtranslate into a salary.
Let me explain.
Culture is like a toilet.
And learning is like drinking from the toilet.
And you wouldn't drink from a toilet.
I can't argue with that.
I wouldn't even know where to begin.
Arguing with that.
I don't want to sound like I drink from the toilet.
The last thing I would want is to come away, the last thing I want is to come away from this episode with people thinking that I have an encyclopedic knowledge of trivier about Hitler
and that I drink from the toilet.
The name of this episode is going to be, Andrew has an encyclopedic knowledge of Hitler and also he drinks from the toilet.
I think so the toilet.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sure, if you want to be a lawyer or a doctor, then a university degree is the only real pathway
to those jobs.
But what if you want to be an entrepreneur?
Um, a creator, now remember this next sentence please, a creator of something that's never been
done before.
Uh-huh.
Which is an app?
Which is an app?
Again, I believe it's an app.
Yep.
Will four or six or eight more years of classes help you along that path?
Not one bit.
Who's ever been helped by learning anything?
An arts degree is, oh, always going in fucking hard now.
An arts degree is what we study when we don't actually know what we want to do with our lives,
but think we better do something.
Wow, it's just like Morgan Freeman said in the Shawshank Redemption,
better get busy living or get busy dying.
And this guy's conception of living is to be working for money.
You know, I was, um, dying.
I was thinking about maybe spending a few years sort of,
immersing myself as in a great human tradition of trying to explore what it means to be alive
and to interact with human society through tradition of trying to explore what it means to be alive and to interact with human society
through the medium of art. And then I realized that that's for fucking idiots and I made an app.
Yeah, finally. If you go to university because it's what everyone else is doing, because it's the easy path,
then you have already fallen into the mediocre category,
a sheep among other sheep, and those grand plans of changing the world will be put off for
when the time is right, which is short for never.
Oh damn, damn kid.
What? Wait, that, hang on.
Yep. Would you like me to run that back for?
When the time is right, which is short for never.
Those grand plans of changing the world will be put off for when the time is right, full stop.
Next paragraph, which is short for scare quotes, never.
So when the time is right is short for never.
Yeah, I don't, I don't think you, maybe some more education could have helped this kid.
God, if I think I'm an arts degree.
If only you'd be taught some type of critical thinking,
people need to understand metaphors.
I also, I want to back that a little little,
because it feels like I'm bullying a 17-year-old. But year old has a lot more fucking money than I do,
so technically he is the more powerful actor in this situation.
Technically he's bullying you.
He is, by not giving me 20 bucks.
Please give me 20 bucks, Mr. Blofeld.
I've just turned 17 and my side business project, I launched a few years ago now turns over millions in revenue each and every year.
And honestly, studying an arts degree would do nothing but set me back.
It feels like if you have a business that is generating millions of dollars a year, you could go and study an arts degree.
You could study whatever the fuck you want. You could learn some things, you could travel.
They could look at a lovely painting. You could experience life. We already know...
Also sorry. So you mentioned that entrepreneurs are there, their purpose in life.
There are soul joy is producing something that has never been done before.
Now does the article happen to mention what it is that he's actually doing?
I would love to mention that to you.
Oh, alright.
So, so he says, we already know that Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg all dropped out of college.
But let's look closer to home.
Boos Juice founder, Janine Alice and billionaire James Packer both skipped university
and trucking magnet Lindsay Fox dropped out of high school at 16.
Do you think they regret it?
Do you think James Packer, son of a billionaire,
needed to go to university in order to just get placed into his fucking dad's empire?
Well, he's gonna learn how to spend all that money. And Steve Jobs went on to become a man
who thought he could cure his cancer with juice
and then died.
So who's smart now?
This was a little while ago now,
but I just really need to get this out of my system.
This moth fucker said trucking magnet.
Oh, me? Magnate, if you would like.
Just, all these, all this trucking, it just keeps getting attracted to him.
Didn't really think that part through.
Carry on.
Hmm.
So, did a bit of giggling.
Bit of reading about this fucking kid.
And there is an article about him in entrepreneur.com.
I'm so mad.
How this... Oh my God! Do you remember?
Do you remember when we had Riley on the show recently from Trashfuture
and we were reading a piece about entrepreneurs and this guy said I like to see the next generation of I call them
entrepitsy natures and we all went what the fuck there has to be some better
ways of putting these words together allow me to read you the headline from this
article how this teampreneur is making a fortune by running an online business single-handedly.
Team-prenuor. Somehow they found a worse way of doing it than entrapet teenager.
This just, I fucking, how did like, there's got to be a glimmer of self-awareness in any of this of people just being like,
wow, the whole culture around this is the fucking hollow shell of like shittiness that fucking
sucks.
Yep.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
You can't.
So, this piece goes on to describe. Now in case you're wondering
Theo about what it is that he actually does when he's creating things that have never been done before.
I know what it is. I've looked this mothocker up, but please. I don't because I purged
it from my memory. Jack Bloomfield starts the day at 5.15 a.m. After 15 minutes of push-ups he gets ready for
school and then spends 30 minutes reading Grant Cardones, Be Obsessed or Be Average.
I do remember this line. He hopes to be finished at some point. He's reading the same book?
He just gets the end and he's like, well he didn't go to any reading classes so he's
no idea what anything means. I disagree. I think he just starts from the beginning every day.
Oh, so it's like painting the Harbour Bridge.
Yeah, that's why every day he gets up and goes, oh, I'm still reading this book and he
starts from the beginning again. At 6 a.m. sharp, he starts working on his online
business. Two hours and 30 minutes later, the 11th grade leaves to school. When he returns at 3 p.m., Bloomfield indulges in an afternoon sport, finishes homework,
finishes homework, later dinner, and then once again logs into his computer to manage
Bloom Ventures, the company he started at the age of 15.
This is Bloomfield's third venture.
The 16-year-old Brisbane resident who, quote, always had a strong passion for business.
I love having a strong passion for business when I am a literal child.
First created an app, next gifts four years ago with an investment of 500 Australian dollars,
which he made by selling lollibags at his parents tennis centres.
Sorry, at his parents... that they went for recreation? No, the multiple tennis
centers that his parents own in Brisbane. Right, but he was raising money because he's self-made,
so he raised $500 so that he could be a self-made millionaire. Yep. There's another part of this
that doesn't make any sense to
me working in this space. So he made $500 from selling lolly bags as a 15
year old. He created an app called Next Gifts. It allowed people to create virtual
cards online and get them sent physically in the post to their loved ones.
How, how Theo do you think? I guess all of us have some form of
background in like web development and apps and so on. How do you guys think one might
make an app that allows somebody to design something in a virtual space and then
have it physically created and shipped to a customer and have that entire thing working for
end-to-end for $500.
Ah. Andrew, I simply wouldn't. Huh. I would say that that amount of money was, um, I'm trying to think of the words there, but
probably not enough.
Huh.
Interesting, because yeah, I would also say that's not how that works.
No, I would say that is a $50,000 endeavor.
But then again, that's why I'm not a millionaire.
That's true.
So a year later, after spotting, quote,
a gap in the market too good to resist,
he used his next gifts earning to establish blue health,
an app that helped patients and doctors keep track of their health records in one place.
Again, I don't know if the concept here is that he is like inventing the idea for an app and then just selling it to somebody. But he's
not making an app that lets patients and doctors manage their health records in
one place. Like that's, it's just not how that works at all.
But that wasn't enough.
Between the age of 14 and 15, Bloomfield tried different side hustles like 4x trading,
which taught him valuable skills like people management, finances, and data.
Those skills like finances.
I made a few thousand dollars here and there, but I got my big break when I was
15. I got into the world of e-commerce, says Bloomfield. So here comes, here comes the
inventing something that's never been done before.
Entrepreneurial, team-pronorial spirit that we all love. He started out selling carbon
fiber money clips in June last year.
Carbon fiber money clips in June last year.
Carbon fiber money clips.
Mm-hmm.
Just what you've always wanted.
Yep.
Wrap that around your many dollars.
Oh, whoa.
Big old roller bills.
What did you put your cash in there?
Is that a...
Wrap that around my one $1 bill folded over multiple.
Is that some heavy ass steel?
That must be so awkward to pick up.
Oh no, no, no, no, sorry.
I guess you probably should have been actually able to tell from looking, but it's
carbon fiber.
It's actually very light but very strong. Yeah, previously I had like in race cars. Yeah, previously I had like, it
was like normal metal and you know, it's just like, oh, I don't even want to get my money
out because it's so heavy. So I got the carbon fiber one. Yeah, it's what they use in
race cars. It's the clip that I put my bills in. It's made of carbon fiber. They actually, they use it in like jets as well. It's very light but very strong. It's the clip that I use
for my bills. They use this in the space shuttle, I say to the barista as I pay for my coffee.
Oh, oh this old thing? Yeah, it's carbon fiber. This is actually my money clip. They use
this in race cars. Oh. So he started out selling carbon fiber money clips in June last year, then scaled it all
the way up through drop shipping.
Whenever a product, this is a little explainer for the reader here of what drop shipping
is, whenever a product is ordered it is shipped by the company's network of suppliers
to the relevant address. An idea he got from watching a YouTube video.
Right, so he invented drop shipping? Well he watched a video that told him drop shipping and then said, oh, I'm going to invent drop shipping.
So he did it. He watched a video that said, that's why he's a teen tripane it. He watched a video that said...
That's why he's a teen tripeneur. He watched a video that said, hey, an already
existing thing that some people use as a form of passive income is drop shipping.
And you do that like this and he went, okay and then he did that.
And now he sells products that other people have manufactured and shipped and
done the whole work part? And he makes it. So his thing is to, sorry, what's his, so they make it,
and so they design it I guess first and then they make it. Probably some like art going on
there's probably some maybe they needed to study a little on what goes into
art. I don't really know if we've probably haven't covered that yet but um so
they do the whole thing they design it they make it they manufacture it and
then they deliver it and then they deliver it and his role where he gets millions of dollars a
year like a genius and we're all just to go back to the original part I guess
we're all just we're all the fucking idiots lazy chumps the absolute
groups not doing this despicable I would say but what he's doing is he's sending them to send them to people? their theycea they, theyce thi thu to people? A they thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to to to to to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the their the the the the the the their their their their thea. thea. But what he's doing is he's sending them to people?
Not quite.
Not quite.
So he's not, the thing he's doing is not sending them to people.
He's sending orders for things to other people.
He didn't invent the mechanism for sending the orders either.
No, he didn't write the architecture, make some, make some services on AWS, design the databases databases the databases the databases the databases the databases the databases the databases the databases the databases the databases the databases the databases. the databases the databases. the mechanism for sending the orders either. No, he didn't write the architecture makes some make some services on AWS, design the databases, design the mail-outs.
Well maybe, maybe you used the mail-outs. Maybe he did the mail-outs. Maybe this kid's got gumption.
So at present Bloomfield has five e-commerce stores, including Best Bargain Club, which
sells a variety of products from novelty items like desktop punching bag, hidden shoes
and flask bracelet to kitchenware.
Hidden shoes and flask bracelet.
Hidden shoes and flask bracelet.
Hidden shoes and flask bracelet. Hidden shoes and flask bracelet. This is right in the middle of
shoes and flask and flask bracelet? It makes it sound like he's selling an absence of shoes.
He's selling an flask bracelet and shoes that cannot be found.
I just need to understand that if you were to break this into, so is the ejectable phrase
modifying the word bracelet, is it hidden shoes and flask or is this two objects where it is hidden
shoes and flask bracelet.
It's a complete mystery.
Hidden shoes and flask bracelet.
I think I'm having a stroke.
Me too.
Hidden shoes and flasked bracelets.
Hidden shoes and flask bracelet.
I can find a flask bracelet, but I can't find it.
But I can't find...
All right, so, okay, no, so...
A flask bracelet, it's a bracelet that's an empty vessel for putting stuff
in, right?
Yep, we all got that.
So hidden shoes are things you stick to the bottom of your feet to act as a substitute
for shoes.
Okay, but can you read the three, the list of three things? Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so it goes.
I'm gonna read it to you with the punctuation and everything as well.
Thank you very much.
A variety of products from novelty items like desktop punching bag, comma,
hidden shoes and flask bracelet, comma, to kitchen wear.
Oh, okay, from novelty items like desktop punching bag, hidden shoes and flask bracelet
to kitchenware.
All right, so it's almost like, it's a list of three things.
It's an embedded list.
So I don't want to get, I don't want to get inside baseball here, but I would have used a
semicolon as an Oxford comma after flask bracelet.
Well, yeah, I would have put one in, I would have said from novelty items and then you get
your M-Dash or whatever in there and say like desktop punching bags, hidden shoes and flas
bracelets and then you get your dash again to kitchenware.
Or even better you could say from things like from things like kitchen wear to novelty items like and then list.
Such as yeah for example yes and we're not here to some edit his article. I'm gonna send my notes in though.
I mean we later on we will be sub-editing his article.
Oh no, I've just realized that I've overcome Andrew Bolt when he did this to me.
Oh, that was a good time.
I'd also like to point out that I've tried to Google Best Bargain Club.
I cannot find it either.
I cannot find it. There's something on Facebook that's written with absolutely no punctuation
with a website that doesn't work. There is, so the second result is bargain club. club.
That's a great URL. That's a phenomenal URL, which has an expired SSL certificate,
so he's basically fucked up there. But like if he's making millions of dollars
from this then it is through layers of elaborate scams because this is like I can't even find
what it is that he's doing. Yeah and so this multi-million dollar this brings me to my next point.
Hidden Shoes and flask prices. So so he's already said like I'm making millions from this
thing or as the other article put it he makes more in a week than you do in a
year right and so we he's talking about his website that he makes all
this money out of which we can't find
while Bloomfield doesn't want to reveal his company's total revenue his website that he makes all this money out of which we can't find. While
Bloomfield doesn't want to reveal his company's total revenue, he claims to be
a millionaire. So we're getting a little shaky on the money front year. So he
makes millions a year and he's a millionaire? He claims to be a millionaire.
Quote means that he's been working for almost a year.
Due to my e-commerce business model, the costs are relatively low as I avoid expenses
such as rent, store, staff, etc. But I still have the product and advertising costs.
I am not currently looking for extra investment in my current business as it is growing very
nicely and I am able to take care of it all but I am always open and investing in other businesses he says.
In an earlier interview published on news.com. that you
Bloomfield is quoted as saying that during a strong period he makes quote north of
$2,900 a day.
So this this makes me think of the article we were looking at a couple of weeks ago,
where the guy was complaining about lazy workers who don't want all these $17,000 a week jobs.
And when you actually drill down into the piece,
it turns out that the entire thing is predicated on this one guy saying that he heard of a friend of his,
who one time made $17,000 in one week
after
After establishing a flooring business. Yes, after owning and running a business for a long time and having this one
outside example. So now we've got this kid who all of a sudden no one can actually confirm that he's a millionaire. He just says that he is.
And he won't actually tell anyone how much his business makes.
And he says that during a strong period, his business can make more than $2,900 a day.
But maybe for like eight months of the year, he's not having a strong period.
Who knows?
Who could say? Who could say what the market is
like at any given time for hidden shoes and flask bracelet? You know? Hidden shoes
and flask bracelet. Hidden shoes and flask bracelet. My brain is breaking.
Hidden shoes and flask bracelet.
So he goes on to say that everybody was ageist against him merely for being a child.
But we've all seen Boss Baby and that baby was successful.
That's certainly true. I feel like that's a strong statement.
Baby was very successful. While starting his first business, many people
were surprised his attempt but also pushed back saying that he wouldn't
succeed. My age was always an obstacle. I was so concerned what others would
think, but as soon as I realized that my age could actually be used as a
talking point and a tool to get me places, my business and self-esteem really took off. I started putting myself and a brand out there. For Bloomfield, the recipe for success has always been passion and
strict time management. What has also helped him is outsourcing, in quotes
grunt work, like order fulfillment and customer support to people overseas.
Oh, that's interesting.
I am currently focusing on expansion and where I can go next.
The idea of not expanding and growing myself and my work has always worried me.
So it's reassuring to know that I can now spend a lot of time focusing on this part of the business,
which will definitely pay dividends within the next few months and years to come, says Bloomfield,
who credits his parents for being incredibly supportive.
What kind of support is that, do you reckon?
Who could say?
Also, I don't think that's a site,
because they've got a screenshot of it on QT.com.
that's a site for mega Quties. I think it's just some boring business bullshit.
Oh, no, it's Queensland Times.
And it's got the little site there, which is not the one that I found or any of the others,
so who knows how to find it.
And it says, Best Bargain, the number one place for all the Hottest products.
Beautiful.
Hoat bargains.
Oh dear. So yeah, I guess I guess again when you actually drill down into
this thing he can't actually prove that he's a millionaire or that he makes
millions of dollars and we're basing all of this off him saying that sometimes
it is possible that one of his businesses makes over $2,900 a day, was it
or a week, a day.
And that his business, where he's creating things that have never been done before, he got
the idea from watching a YouTube video, and then he set up a drop shipping company and
all of the actual work and labor that's being done is being outsourced by people overseas.
So, yet again, it's great to see a millionaire entrepreneur making jobs and contributing to the economy.
Because like, that's kind of what we always hear is, no that we shouldn't have, you know,
we shouldn't have a higher minimum wage and we shouldn't, you know, we shouldn't
come down so hard on all of these entrepreneurs because these are the people who create value
and create jobs in our society and are doing us all a big fucking favor. We're just basically
jealous bitches as well I think is what it comes down to. Yep, except that it turns out in
this guy's case. He's apparently making millions of dollars and he's doing absolutely all of it by sending all the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money the money th th th th th to th to th th th to th to th to to to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. We. We. the. the. the. the. the. the. theiii. the. the. the. thei. the. the. toe. toe. to. to. to. to it turns out in this guy's case, he's apparently making millions of dollars and he's doing absolutely all of it by sending all the money overseas to purchase products
that are manufactured overseas and get people overseas to do all the work.
Well he gets up at 545 and does his 16,000 set-ups and then at 630...
Not at all Patrick Batemanie, it's fine.
Before school, he works on the hidden shoes. And then after school, after, after, after, after, after, after he, after he, after he, after he, after he, after he, after he, after he, the the the the the the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money the money, the money, the money the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, the money, their their tho, their their their money, their their money, their their money, their money, their money, the money, the money,'s before school he works on the hidden shoes
And then after school after he's done all of his homework and his
Had his dinner cooked for him and served then he works on the the was the other part
The flask bracelet the flask bracelet he gets up two hours early every day to go around the house and hide all of the shoes
All those shoes are definitely hidden by the time.
Hey, where are my shoes?
Another job, well done.
Got it.
So yeah, it's good to see that this kid has been uncritically given rave reviews and interviews pretty much across the span of Australian media. They've got like multiple TV segments on him from
channel 7 and channel 9 and everything. Because as we have come to learn in
this country, pretty much anything is easier than actually doing something, you know,
something significant about trying to help wages go up.
Everything is just people saying, you know what you should do, you should buy 40 houses
like these two 20-year-olds who did it all themselves as long as you don't actually read
any of the fine print.
Now speaking of the entrepreneurial spirit of making apps.
Ben, I believe you wanted to give a of making apps. Hmm.
Ben, I believe you wanted to give a little soliloquy.
I certainly did.
That's exactly what I wanted to do.
So, I, there was a wonderful article written this week by a friend of the show,
Stephen Heck.
He wrote a piece for Deadspin about single-handedly ruining
the Jeremy Renner fan app, which was a social media site app thing, where Jeremy Renner, the actor
from the Marvel franchises that looks like nothing.
You mean Jason Bourne? the actor from the Marvel franchises that looks like nothing.
You mean Jason Bourne?
Jeremy Renner?
Oh wait, he didn't even play Jason Bourne in that movie, did he?
Wasn't Ian, was there a Jason Bourne TV series or something where he was in, I don't know.
With this guy, he's like a nobody person.
Like I'm sure he's lovely on a personal level, whatever.
I don't mean this in a mean way. I'm just like, in the Marvel movies, he is the worst superhero.
And just in general, he is not a particularly charismatic or in the context of actors, particularly
handsome or interesting looking person. But there are apparently a lot of Renner heads out there.
And they love... I'll say this, I'll say this for Jeremy R lot of Renner heads out there and they love
I'll say this I'll say this for Jamie Renner. Remember remember the Hurt Locker? That was a big deal.
Yes, I do remember the Hurt Locker, but I don't remember him being in it somehow. Look, he was
he was the lead in that Oscar-winning movie. And I believe that. And I believe he probably gave a great performance,
but when I picture the scenes from that movie that I know happened, I cannot see his face in it.
They just have Edward Norton in them instead. This is like a first season of the mighty
bush where he's talking about how Howard has a very forgettable face. Uh, same deal. I just can't, it's just a sort of oval of beige for me, but...
So people, they love him. They love going on to that app.
And it's gamified, you make in app purchases to get stars.
And I don't know what the stars do, didn't look into it, but...
Oh, the stars, the stars elevate your posts, making them more likely for the real Jeremy Renner to have seen them. Which is sickening. Um, but part of the way the app works is that if someone comments on one
of your posts, the notification is designed to make it look like Jeremy Renner himself has replied to it.
Even if it isn't, it's another Renner fan. So a bunch of people, internet funny people, got on there
and basically started fucking with people.
This all kind of started from Stefan getting on there,
answering a Jeremy Redder question that was, what are you going to do with your weekend by saying, I'm going to watch a pordo?
And then, probably less than a week later
the app got shut down.
Now this is the second time that a Jeremy read a fan app has had to be shut down because
the community has spiraled out of control.
It is a very funny saga that I could not possibly do justice.
So I'm just going to recommend that if you haven't already, please please, please, please read
the article on Deadspin, I broke the official Jeremy Renner app by posting the word porno
on it.
It is a tour de force of just a powerfully written piece on true-to-life experience of breaking
the Jeremy Renner app. Now, what I've really focused on here is that, uh, the that-it-it-it-o'-a-it thi-a-a-a-a-a-in, uh-a-a-a-in, uh-in, uh-in, uh-a-in, uh-in, uh-a-in, uh-a-in, uh-a-a-a-a-a-a-in, uh-a-in, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, the-in, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s, the-s, the-s, dead-s, dead-s, dead-s, dead-s, dead-s, dead-s, dead-s, the-s, the-s, the-s, the-s-s-s'-to-life experience of breaking the Jeremy Renner app.
Now, what I've really focused on here is that, um, like, I'm gonna read something to you.
And this will maybe give you an introduction on, um, what I'm about to talk about.
So this is a bit long, so bear with me.
Mm-hmm. It's quite long a bit long so bear with me. It's quite long
actually but bear with me. Jeremy Renner from Wikipedia the free
encyclopedia redirected from Jeremy Renner but the R was lowercase.
Jeremy Lee Renner, born 7th of January 1971 is an American actor, singer and
songwriter. He began his career by appearing in independent films such as Darma, 2002 and Neo Ned, 2005.
Renner earned supporting roles in bigger films such as SWAT, 2003, and 28 weeks later,
2007. Renner was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actor for His Performance
in the Hurt Locker, 2008, and for the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his much-price
performance in The Town, 2010.
Oh, the Town's good.
I don't, I don't remember him being in, um, what was the one before that?
28 weeks later.
Yeah, I don't remember him being a long today.
Renner played Hawkeye in the Marvel Cinematic Universe films Thor, 2011, the Avengers
2012, Avengers Age of Ultron, 2015, Captain America is of war 2016 and Avengers end game 2019.
He also appeared in Mission Impossible.
Ghost protocol, don't worry about it, you don't miss much.
The Born Legacy, 2012. Hansel and Gretel, Witch Hunters, American Hustle, Hustle,
Hustle 2013, Mission Impossible
Rogue Nation 2015, and Arrival 2016.
Rennet is also a rock musician.
Oh, fuck, he was good in a row.
Sorry.
Shingle, main attraction was released in 2019.
Now, I want you to imagine the sort of music that they play in ads for jeans.
How it's like the worst nothing rock you've ever heard.
If you and the listeners of home have watched the incredible Netflix sketch comedy series, I think you should leave.
If you picture in your
head the music from the fake TC Tuggers commercial that very well could
be a song from the Jeremy Renner back catalog of four songs.
You're waiting, you're in the waiting room, you're expecting your allergy
results back any moment now and in the waiting room, you're expecting your allergy results back
any moment now and on the speakers. I... Possibly a little more lively than
that, but in a way that sucks. I, here's what I want you to picture Theo. Imagine
that you are watching television and an ad for the new 2019 Jeep Wrangler comes on TV.
Oh yeah now we're talking.
And there's footage, there's footage of like, it's really hauling.
It's really hauling us, it's coming over some sand dunes, it's spraying up dust as it
winds around a tell to aerial shot. Yep, and there's a rock song going on the soundtrack and you're thinking to yourself, this sounds like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the like, the like, the like, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. Oh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. th. th. th... th. th.. th. th. th. th. th. their, their, th. thi, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. th. thi. thi. th. thi. Oh, thi. Oh, the. Oh, th. Oh, th. Yep, and there's a rock song going on the soundtrack and you're
thinking to yourself, this sounds like they didn't want to pay the royalties for another
better song that I know and they just got someone to kind of perform a ripped off version of it?
It's exactly like that. It's also exactly like, imagine maybe there's like a movie where Mark Wahlberg and Vin
Diesel are like their aging professional American football quarterbacks and they both decide
that before they go out, they want to steal a bunch of money from at the Super Bowl somehow.
And then as the movie ramps up and they're shown,
they're in a Jeep and the Jeep explodes through a building
and it lands in a pool and there's a bunch of bikini women around them
and then the Jeep is just in the pool.
And then Mark Wahlberg turns to Vin Diesel and he says,
I could get used to this. Well, the music that cuts in after that. that. that. T, that, that, that, the the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, the music, he says, I could get used to this. Well, the music that cuts in after that,
that's what the music sounds like.
The music cuts in as they are pulling themselves up
out of the edge of the pool.
And it's doing quick cuts as they're doing it.
They're walking away from the pool.
They're walking away from the pool. And they're both, like Marks, Marks their ths their their tha, Marks tha, Marks, Marked tha, Marked tho, Marked their tho, Marks, Marks, Marks, Marks, Marks, th, th, th, th, tho, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, thus, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's thus thus tho, thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. That, th. thu. That, thu. That, thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. the thu. thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, that's that's that's that's thoo don't fucking care about it. They're walking away from the pool, and they're both, like Mark Wahlberg's sweeping
the water out of his hair.
The Rock's not doing it because he doesn't have any hair.
But they're walking away.
I like that you've said the Rock, away, they're walking away from the Jeep.
The patrons around the pool, they're shocked.
Their mouths are a gape.
Several of the women are lifting up their sunglasses to look at them.
Or down their nose, depending on where they are.
Yep. And there's a waiter at this snooty resort standing there with a tray with drinks on it as they're walking past.
Mark Walburg grabs the beer off the tray.
It's very clearly like one of those all-metal Bud Light bottles.
It's very obviously a sponsorship.
He slams that bad boy down.
But then, the comic relief at the end of the trailer is that they build it up to a really cool
moment. And then Mark Walberg's character th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th's th, th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's th's the, the, the, the, the's the, the, theck's, theck's, theaugheck's, thiaugh's, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiauiaugh, thea, their, thea, ththat they build it up to a really cool moment and then Mark Walburg's character says that looked pretty cool didn't it? And then
Vin Diesel's character just sort of like laughs and shakes his head and
then last beat of the bad rock song plays and that the title of the movie comes up and it's called
Playing the Game.
It's called what? Playing the game? Yep. Hey called playing the game. It's called what?
Playing the game?
Yeah.
Hey, sometimes the game plays you.
So true.
Anyway, that's what his music sounds like.
So I'm going to read,
I don't want to play the music to you.
So I'm going to read the lyrics to you.
And I'm just going to, you know, like it's easy for us to make fun of him because he's a super,
super rich guy and it's very easy for him because he has disposable money and time doesn't
really mean anything to him so he doesn't really have to pour his heart and soul into his
music or work particularly hard for it. He can just do it as like a laugh and even if he's
not particularly talented.
People will come to his shows and he can easily get recording
spaces and recording equipment and talented musicians will just play with him and people
just tell them he's good and he doesn't have to sacrifice anything to do it. So it's kind
of just like shitting on everyone that really is trying to make something beautiful because
it's an expression of themselves. And so it's easy for us to make fun of him because of that. And I don't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th he th th he he he he he th. And so th. And so it's tho tho the thi. And so the, the. And so, the. the. the. the. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the their, their, their, their, their, their, th. the, the, the. the. theat, he. he. theat, thean, thean, thean. thean. thean. thean. the. the. the. themselves. And so it's easy for us to make fun of him because of that. And I don't want to do that.
This is, you know, it's a creative medium.
He's written these lyrics.
They come from his heart.
They've come from his heart.
He's expressing something about his soul, essentially.
There's no other word I can use there.
This is a really like, this is pure and it's beautiful. This is art. So I'm not, I don't want to make fun of him.
I'm just going to read these to you and you kind of let me know what you think.
This is his hit song, Main Attraction. The YouTube video for it has, uh, let me just double check that number because I hope I'm wrong.
Uh, four and a half million views.
Okay, here we go.
Every time I take a ride, I feel alive with nowhere to go.
I'm the king of the road.
Hold on.
Yep.
He feels alive, but he also doesn't have anywhere to go.
With nowhere to go, yep.
Okay, sounds like he has depression, but go on.
Sure.
I'm the king of the road.
You're the queen of my throne.
The queen of the throne.
It's a very small domain.
I'm the queen of the throne.
So if it's his throne, but she's the queen of it yeah just sit on his lap or yeah she's not
the queen of her own throne no yeah she leads the young princess out and says
my domain stretches all the way from this armrest to you can see right over there
the other armrest on the throne
riding high day and, satisfied wherever we roam.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
You're the star of the show.
You shimmer like gold.
Pretty cool.
Now baby, let's ride.
We got nothing but time.
You get all the reactions. You're the main attraction. That You get all the reactions.
You're the main attraction.
All of the reactions.
The love heart, the wow face.
Yep.
The frowns, the frowns.
Yeah.
It's no surprise.
God, I like your style. You're the perfect distraction. You're the main
attraction. Roaming through the city like the track of time. Your the freedom is
mine. Riding the lines. Know how I like it, yeah.
Pedal to the metal, I'm the soldier.
What?
Oh, has he been drafted?
Has he been commissioned for...
It's very unclear.
Pedal to the metal, I'm the soldier.
Pedal to the metal, I'm the soldier.
Okay.
We could take it for miles.
Uh-huh.
Let it all wild. And let it all wild. Let it all wild. Let it all wild. That thing we're always saying.
We're back to the chorus now. Now baby let's ride. We got nothing but time. You get all the reactions.
You're the main attraction. Blah while the rest of the chorus. And now I think this is the bridge. Now baby let's ride. Now baby let's ride.
Ooh, I like your style.
Yeah.
And then it's the chorus again.
So now as you can see, a lot to learn there about him.
Just sort of as a person.
The human condition.
Yes, the Ren a condition.
Now I've got to go to another song.
I feel like I've spent a long night sitting by a fireplace speaking to Jeremy and just seeing deep into his soul.
Well, you're going to see even more into it with the song Nomad by Jeremy Renner.
Oh, because he was with somebody in the last song. And now he's a Nomad. I wonder if something's happened. Okay, there's definitely
some themes that carry between the two and I'll see if you can spot them. Oh yeah
Nomad. Oh yeah Nomad. Oh yeah no mad.
Miles and miles and miles travel the world and back so many times with
nothing on my back but a guitar and a smile. Why is there a smile on your back?
Again probably could have used maybe a commoner or something that's fine.
Chasing a dream only fools like me would follow. I was born a soldier.
Waging a war against all that said I told you.
With my feet on the ground and my heart on my shoulder.
This guy's got absolutely fucked up an enemy.
It's a body's very strange.
But with my feet in my ass and my faces on my back.
I don't mind if I got to start it all over.
That's rhyming with shoulder.
I just go with the flow, and no matter where I am going,
and I got no plans on slowing, down.
That's on a new line for some reason.
I'm a man on a mission. The rain don't stop. We're not quitting.
I guess it's my disposition. I'm a nomad.
Oh yeah, nomad. Oh yeah, nomad.
Oh yeah, nomad.
Oh boy, here we go.
If this world is a circle,
I got no time for them squares.
Oh, fuck.
Two plus two must equal, I don't care.
Oh. Yeah, I'll jump right off the edge.
Get me there.
Going in hard on these fucking nerds. I wonder if that's, you know, directed at some of his Marvel fans.
Yeah, maybe. Loses. Skipping the chorus again because this is just painful.
Um. Ain't no worry. In no hurry, I'm flying high.
I know I'll get there one step at a time.
Another chorus, and then the outro.
Yeah, yeah, I'm a nomad.
Nomad, yeah, I'm a nomad, yeah, I'm a nomad, yeah, I'm a nomad. I'm a nomad. I'm a nomad.
I'm a nomad. I'm a nomad.
Truly a poet. That is the end of that song.
Oh boy.
So, Ben, you, you, I I think probably as much as anyone would kind of understand that feeling when you
have something personal that you've done or creative and you kind of wrap it all up and you release it to, you know,
I guess the wide world, but in our cases, and in your case that would be like your quite
large tweet of following, and I imagine that you still probably experience some sort of
anxiety about various new things that you try and that kind of thing.
Oh, for sure.
You know, I'll put my heart and so on something and sometimes I'll get one bit of negative feedback
and then I'll delete it and never show it to anyone ever again. Absolutely. So imagine you're Jeremy Renner and you have millions of fans and you're pouring
yourself into the things that you do and that's, and that's it. That's what it all amounts to. Wouldn't it just like...
That's it, it's perfect. You're like, perfect first time. That's where you're finishing,
right? You're saying you put everything to everything and you made something absolutely beautiful and flawless.
Boy, now that would be, that would give me so much anxiety it would suck my dick straight back into my body.
Sure. Well, I think the thing is, he is in a position where he will never make good art.
He can't.
I think that's safe to say.
I mean, and I'm not saying this because he's a flawed person.
I'm saying this because he will never have the environment necessary to force you to improve.
He will never have to learn from any sort of mistakes.
Uh, he's also going to be in a weird power dynamic with the people that he plays with, where they're not going to be like,
hey man, this song he wrote, fucking sucks, dude.
Can we please write a different song?
That's not going to happen to him.
So he's...
And he's also hobbled in the sense that no one will stop him from releasing something that
sucks.
So what has happened is he's written a bunch of extremely average, meaningless songs that have
been overproduced to shit.
So like every single vocal is done in like, that gang vocal style where you can sort of
hear the person that's doing the singing but it's mostly like ten professional backup
singers.
There's like weird little auto tune parts and stuff.
It's like a weird abstraction of him doing a song that's been filled out by a studio.
And he will never know that it's bad.
He could get...
He got his lyrics mad lib.
I'm just like, if you took all of the feeling out of a blues song,
I just had like, yeah, basically mad lips.
You took some of the words, oh, roads,
yeah, I've traveled them for miles, because you know where my heart is.
I'm a nomad soldier, baby.
It really gives you an appreciation for John Bon Jovi, and his songs on the Young Guns soundtracks.
I think it gives you an appreciation for that, certainly. Are you trying to say, are you, are you trying to say, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are you, are to......, are to......, are to say??? to say to say to say, are you, are you, are you, are to say, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the the the the the the the the try, the try, try, try, try, the try, the try, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, the to, the the thi, the I think it gives you an appreciation for that certainly.
Are you trying to say, are you trying to tell me that you wouldn't rather listen to Blaze
of Glory than main attraction?
No, I'm just saying that you really love Bon Jovi.
No, it's not wrong with that.
No, I mean, it's fine. But like, you know, at least, uh, at least...... that. It's... that. It's... that. It's... that. It's... that... that... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's... It's to... It's to... to... It's to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to say. to say... to say... to say... to say... to say... to say... to say... to say... to... to... to... to... that. that's that's that's... that's... that's... that's... that's... th... thi... thi. thi. thi... that's... thi... thi... thi...a...a''...a'er...a'er...a'er...a'er...a'er...a'er... that's that's thi... to to to... I mean it's fine. But like you know at least at least it's just John Bon Jovani. John Bon Jovi guy.
At least he managed to to like get a get a metaphor in there you know he's like hey I'm riding my motorbike which is like my
my must deed. Does it have any does it say anything
about where his smile is though inside of his thigh underside of one foot
has a lot of difficulty breathing when he's got his boots on truly upsetting
lovecrafty and nightmare anatomy that Jeremy Renner has. Terrifying stuff and
you hate to see it. Oh hear it. Certainly. I gave it a go this afternoon I was
like I'm gonna throw on some Jeremy Renner's song. I was like I'm gonna play
Jeremy Renner's album and I went to Spotify and I was like oh he doesn't have an
album. I'm gonna get several singles. Yes. I to see if I can queue it up on the office Spotify to borrow.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
It's also your crime pass for the day.
You're a crime pass.
Que up the Jeremy Renner.
That's it, folks.
You too could be listening.
The Grammelie.
Oh no, I'm trying to play toner to everybody and I got an ad. Wow, brutal.
Boop, poop, poop.
Now I've got an ad for Grammally teaching me about how to do grammar.
I can't tell you how happy I am.
And when I'm going to stop getting offered ads for YouTube.
I will never ever in my life use the premium YouTube thing.
Never.
And it offers like every day.
Okay, you should give it a one month free trial and I say, suck me off!
Suck me off YouTube.
Hey, Sergei Bryn and Larry David or Larry David. Uh, come on over here because I, no, I feel, I can't, once you put a name to it, just screaming, suck me off th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, and it, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thin, thin, that, that, that, that, that, that, thus, thus, that, thus, thus, that, that, that, that, that, th I, no I feel, I can't, once you put a name to it, just screaming
suck me off at a company, feels fine.
That's one thing.
Yeah, telling two specific people to just go to town on your dick and balls.
It's unpleasant.
Seems a little rudder. Yeah.
Well folks, that's it. That a little rudder. Yeah. Well, folks, that's it.
That's it for us.
I'm going to play out with a little bit of Jeremy Renner's main attraction.
All right, just try not to picture the TC targets out while you're listening to this.
Try not to picture Jeremy Renner in a Jeep.
It's the most Jeep commercial spending song in the world.
Oh yeah.
Oh boy.
That's it for us folks.
Boys drive a smart car.
Men drive a Jeep compass.
Thanks everybody. We'll see you next week.
Bye. You get all the reaction. You're the main attraction.
It's no surprise.
Gotta like your style!